#lemony skinket

[mfdunklaus]

quigley: would you ever date a girl who’s taller than you?

duncan: no way

isadora: wow really? that’s a bit shallow

klaus (very tall): yeah, what’s your problem with height?

duncan (very gay): oh believe me, it’s not the height i got a problem with

[mfdunklaus]

Duncan: oh no! the printer messed up the invitation! it’s supposed to say “klaus’ birthday”

Violet: well what does it say?

Duncan: Klaus’ bi

Violet: that could still work

[mfdunklaus]

the asoue gens if they were on stan twitter

[mfdunklaus]

Duncan, wearing an apron and a towel over his shoulder: Klaus!

Quigley, also wearing an apron: You’re home!

Klaus: What.

Isadora, wiping down the kitchen counter: Klaus i cleaned the house for you!

Violet, opening the oven: i made dinner.

Duncan: We missed you!

Quigley: Welcome home!

Klaus: This is IKEA. We’re going to get kicked out.

[mfdunklaus]

Violet: don’t be pessimistic. it’ll affect team morale

Klaus: what? and getting us blown up won’t?

Violet: only very, very briefly.

[mfdunklaus]

Isadora, sliding a picture across the table: this woman. I need you to shoot her in the foot.

Klaus: that’s a picture of you

Isadora: Violet wants to try zumba.

[mfdunklaus]

The Baudelaires: why are you doing this?

Carmelita: because i’m bored, it’s funny, and i hate you. there you are, that’s the holy trinity of ‘why.’

[mfdunklaus]

okay but can we talk about how good the friendship between Klaus and Quigley could be.

Together they give me such good energy of a sarcastic deep thinker and of a lighthearted genuine guy.

Quigley is one of the only people who can make Klaus go all soft and emotional and be vulnerable because the Baudelaire trusts him.

They’re basically like the mature/goofy trope but instead of a romantic relationship they’re very good friends.

Someone: I dare you to—

Klaus: Quigley isn’t allowed to accept dares.

Quigley: Apparently I have ”no regard for my personal safety”

[mfdunklaus]

Klaus: you think you know me? fine. what am i allergic to?

Duncan: peppermints. and the entire spectrum of human emotions.

[mfdunklaus]

quigley: not only am i party rocking, i’m also in the house tonight

violet: but are you shuffling?

quigley: every day

klaus: what language are you speaking??

[mfdunklaus]

Klaus: so let me get this straight-

Violet: more like let me run this bi you

Quigley: let’s see how this pans out

Isadora: let’s ace-ess the situation

Duncan: ....i’m gay

[mfdunklaus]

Klaus: you really shouldn’t be using a straw

Quigley: I know it’s bad for the environment

Klaus: it’s just a weird way to eat spaghetti

[mfdunklaus]

Violet: yeet

Klaus:

Violet: yoot

Violet: yotun

Violet: yute

Violet: yeeten

Violet: yate

Violet: yeeth

Violet: yeeted

Klaus: stop that right now

Quigley: no, let her finish

[mfdunklaus]

Duncan: this date is boring

Klaus: it’s not a date, i said i was going to the store

Duncan: then why did you invite me?

Klaus: i didn’t. I actually specifically told you not to follow me

[mfdunklaus]

Duncan: what’s your blood type?

Klaus, bleeding: how do i know?

Duncan: how would you not???

Klaus: what am i, Karl Landsteiner, discovered of blood groups?

Duncan: you don’t know your own blood type but you know who discovered them???

[mfdunklaus]

Klaus: I’m off to bed, goodnight

Sunny, after Klaus stole her chips: keep one eye open

Klaus: I’m gonna give the same advice to you, kid

Sunny: don’t call me kid you’re literally seventeen

Klaus: and you’re a child.