#lemme know if anyone else wants to join in

[rimzaaa]

Before The Mask

Oneshot! (Request)

Pairing: Hwang Inho x Wife Fem!Reader (y/n)

Fandom: Squid Game (오징어 게임)

Summary: Before the mask, before the game, and before the blood on his hands—Hwang In-ho was just a devoted husband, desperate to save the woman he loved and the unborn child he never thought he'd have. When a mysterious offer promises to change everything, he takes it, unaware that it will destroy the man he used to be. What happens when love collides with survival? And what if the woman he swore to protect no longer recognizes the man who returns?

Warnings: Heavy emotional content. Blood, illness, medical distress. Pregnancy complications. Moral conflict. Character death (brief mention). Violence (including stabbing). Mild language. Canon-typical Squid Game brutality. Angst with comfort ending

Author's Note: This one was a request by @honeymoon-salvatore and it really hit me hard. I tried to show the man Inho was before he joined the Squid Game. Also thank you for showing so much love on my SQ fics ❤️

Words Count: 4.8K+

Tag list: Lemme know if you want to get tagged.

@salesmancarddd @marymun @astronomicalastro-blog1 @filthygalli @thehellhaveubeenloca @yosoylaprincesa2004 @watasinekoru @nightlark100 @drewstarkeysrightarm @doodle-with-rhy @lunaryoongie @ilovehwanginho @yxluana @sammie217 @sammat97 @alex-17s-world

It was a beautiful rainy evening. The soft patter of raindrops against the windows filled their apartment like a calming melody.

Hwang In-ho sat on the couch in the living room, laptop open on his lap, working—because even on weekends, a cop is never truly off duty. His eyes were heavy, but his mind kept racing.

Y/n, his beautiful wife, walked in holding two mugs of coffee.

“You���re still working,” she pouted, handing him one of the mugs.

In-ho chuckled, shutting the laptop and placing it aside. “I’m sorry, darling. It was something important.”

He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close as she sat beside him.

“You’re not mad, are you?” he asked, a teasing edge in his voice.

Y/n gave a dramatic pout and shrugged. “Maybe… a little.”

In-ho smirked, took her mug too, set both on the table, and leaned in. He nuzzled her jaw, placing soft kisses along her neck. “Then let me fix that.”

Y/n chuckled but didn’t pull away. She turned toward him, and he kissed her—soft and warm and full of everything words couldn’t say.

But suddenly, she pulled back and clamped a hand over her mouth, running toward the bathroom.

In-ho’s smile dropped. He was on his feet instantly, rushing after her.

Y/n was on her knees, bent over the toilet. Her body trembled as she threw up.

In-ho dropped beside her, holding her hair back, one hand gently rubbing her back. “It’s alright… I’ve got you.”

She gagged again—and that’s when they both froze.

This time, there was blood.

Not a lot. But enough to make In-ho’s heart plummet.

“Y/n…” he whispered, his voice cracking. “It’s… it’s nothing, right? Yeah. It’s probably nothing.”

But he wasn’t convincing anyone—not even himself.

He helped her to her feet and guided her to the sink to rinse her face, fingers trembling slightly.

“We’re going to the hospital,” he said, cupping her cheeks and kissing her forehead. But deep down, he already knew—something was very, very wrong.

---

The hospital room was silent, thick with tension. Y/n’s test results sat on the doctor’s desk like a verdict.

“There’s a complication,” the doctor began, tone steady and clinical. “Her liver is deteriorating. If we don’t start treatment soon, there’s a risk it could fail.”

Y/n squeezed In-ho’s hand tightly, her own hands clammy and cold.

Before In-ho could process the words, the doctor continued, “There’s something else. She’s pregnant.”

In-ho’s head snapped up. His mouth parted in disbelief.

“She’s two months along,” the doctor clarified.

In-ho blinked. Pregnant.

The very thing he had always dreamed of… but at what cost?

His eyes turned to her—she was already crying, shoulders shaking as her head hung low.

“But…” the doctor continued, “I suggest termination. Her condition will likely worsen. And there is a risk to the fetus as well.”

“No,” Y/n said instantly, her voice breaking. “I won’t allow that.”

She turned to In-ho, gripping his hand tighter. “In-ho… we won’t give up on this baby, right?”

But he didn’t answer right away. He stared down at their joined hands, rubbing her knuckles as if grounding himself.

---

The apartment was dim when they returned home. A thick silence hung between them.

In-ho closed the door, ready to talk—but Y/n had already stormed toward the bedroom.

“Y/n,” he called, following her. “We need to talk. You can’t decide this alone.”

“Why not?” she shot back, not turning around. “I’m the mother!”

“And I’m the father. Your husband. I won’t stand by and let you risk your life like this.”

“I don’t care—”

“But I do!” he cut her off, voice louder now, not from anger but from the unbearable ache he tried to mask. “You think I don’t care about the baby? That I don’t want it? I do. I’ve alwayss wanted a child with you.”

Y/n sat down on the edge of the bed and began to cry—not because of the raised voice, but because of the heartbreak in his eyes, the crack in his voice that betrayed his own fear.

He ran a hand through his hair, exhaling. Then he dropped to his knees in front of her, taking her hands gently in his.

“Y/n…” he whispered, voice trembling. “We can try again. When you’re healthy. When it’s safe. Please…”

She shook her head stubbornly, through the tears. “No.”

A single tear rolled down his cheek as he cupped her face, pressing his forehead to hers.

“Please try to understand,” he pleaded. “It’s dangerous. Your life matters more to me than anything. I—I can’t lose you.”

He couldn’t even say the words out loud.

Y/n pulled back just enough to meet his eyes. “I don’t care about my health. I just want this baby. I can’t… I’m sorry.”

And in that moment, In-ho knew.

He couldn’t change her mind.

He had fought so many battles in his life—but none harder than this one: the battle between protecting her life… and her choice to create another.

---

Days turned into weeks.

Y/n had finally been admitted to the hospital for treatment. The doctors had warned that the procedure would be expensive, but In-ho hadn’t cared.

“Do whatever it takes to save my wife and child” he had said. And he meant it.

But reality hit harder than he’d expected.

With his modest cop’s salary, he could barely afford her daily medication. To even begin her treatment, he sold his car. He’d already taken loans from the bank, spent his savings, borrowed from friends, and maxed out every favor he had.

Now, he sat alone at the subway station, long past midnight, the chill of the tiles beneath him as biting as the fear in his chest. A small bag sat at his feet—just a few things Y/n had asked him to bring. He stared down at the floor, not really seeing the tiles, but drowning in his thoughts.

How much longer could he hold on?

Tears welled in his eyes, and he didn’t even bother wiping them away. Helplessness was a bitter taste he’d grown familiar with.

“Sir,” a calm voice interrupted, “would you like to play a game with me?”

In-ho turned his head sharply.

A man in a crisp gray suit had appeared beside him, sitting far too comfortably for someone approaching a stranger in the dead of night.

“What are you? A scammer?” In-ho muttered, eyes narrowing. “I’m a cop. Leave now, or you won’t like what I’ll do to you.”

The man didn’t flinch. He simply smiled. “Of course I know you’re a cop, Mr. Hwang In-ho.”

In-ho’s expression changed. His blood ran cold.

“What did you just say?”

“Hwang In-ho,” the man repeated smoothly. “Police officer. Married. Recently drowning in debt because your wife is in the hospital… and pregnant.”

In-ho was on his feet in an instant, yanking the man up by his collar. “Who the hell are you? How do you know all that? Are you spying on me?!”

Unbothered, the man calmly adjusted his suit as he broke free from In-ho’s grip. “That’s not important,” he said. “What’s important is—you need money. And I can give it to you… if you play a small game with me.”

He opened his sleek black briefcase. Inside were thick stacks of money and two folded paper tiles—one red, one blue.

He picked up the blue one and handed it to In-ho. “If you flip my tile, I’ll pay you. If I flip yours, you pay me.”

In-ho narrowed his eyes. This had to be a joke. A scam. But then again, what did he have to lose?

He took the card from the man and crouched down.

SMACK.

The blue tile hit the ground—but the red tile didn’t budge.

In-ho looked up. The man smirked and took his position, crouched down and

SMACK.

He flipped Inho's tile.

SLAP!

The man’s hand cracked across his cheek.

“What the—!” In-ho lunged toward him in fury, but the man held up a hand, still smiling. “If you can’t pay with money… you pay with your body.”

In-ho seethed but bit back the curses. He slammed the tile again.

This time—it flipped.

He blinked, stunned. As if even he didn’t expect himself to succeed.

The man calmly took out a stack of cash and handed it over.

“If you want to play again and win more…” He reached into his briefcase and pulled out a card—simple with three shapes: a circle, a triangle, and a square.

“Call here.”

Without another word, the man stood, boarded the next subway car, and disappeared into the night.

In-ho stared after him, heart pounding.

Then he looked down at the money in his hand.

It was enough to buy Y/n’s medicine and a few more essentials. Enough to breathe, if only for a day.

His eyes dropped to the card.

He held it for a long moment… then slid it into his pocket.

Maybe this was fate.

Maybe this was the only way left.

But what he didn’t know then was—yes, things were about to change.

Just not in the way he hoped.

---

The hospital room was dimly lit, bathed in the soft glow of a single lamp. Y/N lay resting beneath a thin blanket, her face pale but calm. The quiet hum of the machines was the only sound until the door clicked softly.

In-ho stepped inside quietly, placing the bag on the couch before shutting the door behind him. His movements were careful, like he didn’t want to disturb her, but her eyes fluttered open at the sound.

“Did I wake you, sweetheart?” he asked gently as he walked over and sat on the edge of her bed, facing her.

“No,” she murmured, her voice laced with fatigue. “I wasn’t sleeping. I was waiting for you. What took so long?”

In-ho didn’t answer right away. He reached for her hand, gently cradling it between both of his, his thumb brushing slowly over her knuckles.

“Just… got held up at the station,” he said quietly, eyes fixed downward on their joined hands.

Y/N frowned, sensing something in his tone. She raised her free hand and cupped his jaw, coaxing his gaze back to hers. “In-ho… is everything okay? Are you hiding something from me?”

His eyes met hers — glassy, tired, heavy with everything he wasn’t saying. But he forced a small shake of his head. “No. Nothing. Just tired, that’s all.”

He paused, voice barely above a whisper.

“Y/N… you know how much I love you, right?”

She blinked in surprise. “Of course I know. Why are you asking that?”

“Just… remember it,” he said, eyes lingering on her face. “I’ll do anything to keep you and our baby safe. No matter what.”

Tears welled in her eyes. “In-ho, what is it? Don’t tell me it’s about the money again.”

She sat up slightly, growing anxious. “Wait—did you get yourself into something? Something dangerous? Please tell me you didn’t do anything reckless just for the money—”

“No, no,” he interrupted, forcing a calm smile and shaking his head. “Relax. It’s nothing like that.”

He leaned in to kiss her forehead, then gently pressed a kiss against her belly. When he looked back up at her, he cupped her face in both hands.

“Nothing’s wrong,” he whispered. “I just… I wanted to say it.”

“I love you, Y/N.”

Her expression softened, melting under his touch. She closed her eyes briefly before whispering back, “I love you too, In-ho. And I trust you.”

That hit him harder than anything. She trusted him.

How could he tell her now? That he’d just won money by playing a childish game in a subway station… getting slapped in return? No. He couldn’t.

“Come on,” he said softly, adjusting the blanket over her. “Get some sleep. I’ll be right here.”

She caught his wrist before he pulled away. “Don’t leave, okay?”

“I won’t.” He brought her hand to his lips, kissed her palm gently.

Y/N finally closed her eyes, her fingers still curled around his hand like she was afraid to let go — like she already sensed something was wrong.

---

Y/N was sleeping deeply now, her breathing steady and peaceful. In-ho sat by her side for a long moment, watching the quiet rise and fall of her chest. Then, slowly, carefully, he slipped his hand out of hers and stood up.

He walked out of the room, closing the door behind him with a soft click.

Outside in the dim hallway, he leaned against the wall and pulled out his phone. Along with it, he retrieved the strange card the man had given him on the subway. He stared at the symbols again—circle, triangle, square—then turned it over.

His thumb hovered over the keypad. Should he call?

Doubt crept in like fog, tightening his chest. He had no idea what this was. No details. No guarantees.

But then, Y/N’s voice echoed in his head: “I love you… and I trust you.”

His grip tightened on the phone.

She trusted him. And he couldn’t let her down—not now. Not when her life and their child’s life were on the line.

With a deep breath, he dialed the number.

The line clicked after the first ring. A deep, emotionless voice spoke from the other end.

“If you want to join the game, state your name and date of birth.”

In-ho swallowed. “Hwang In-ho. February 2nd, 1976.”

There was a brief silence. Then: “Be at the bus stop near your apartment. One hour.”

Before he could ask a single question, the call ended.

The silence that followed was suffocating. In-ho stared at the phone in his hand, a strange unease crawling down his spine. It felt wrong. But what other choice did he have? He needed money. Not just for the medicine — for her survival. For their future.

He returned to her hospital room. The lights were dimmed, the machines quietly humming beside her. He stood beside her bed for a moment, just looking.

Then he leaned in, brushing the stray hair from her forehead. He pressed a long, soft kiss there.

He didn’t wake her.

He didn’t say goodbye.

Because if he told her, she’d never let him go.

A tear slid down his cheek as he whispered against her skin, “I promise I’ll come back to you both. Just wait for me.”

With that, he turned and walked out.

At the reception desk, he handed over the money he had won—enough to cover the next round of her treatment. It wasn’t much, but it was something. A month’s hope. A promise wrapped in bills.

And as he walked out into the cold air of the night, toward whatever waited for him at that bus stop, he told himself again

This is for them.

It has to be.

---

Y/N’s eyes fluttered open slowly as the warm morning sun filtered through the blinds, casting soft golden rays across the room. She blinked a few times, letting her eyes adjust before slowly sitting up.

The room was empty.

Her heart gave a small, hopeful flutter. Maybe he’s in the bathroom.

“In-ho?” she called softly, glancing toward the door of the attached washroom.

No answer.

Just then, the main door opened. Her head snapped toward it—expecting, praying it was him.

But it wasn’t.

A nurse walked in, holding a fresh IV bag.

“Good morning,” the nurse greeted with a smile as she moved toward the stand beside the bed.

“Wait… is my husband outside?” Y/N asked, her voice laced with worry. “Can you please call him in?”

The nurse paused, giving her a puzzled look. “You don’t know?”

Y/N’s heart stuttered. “Know what…?”

“He left last night,” the nurse replied gently, “just paid for the next round of your treatment and walked out the exit.”

Y/N stared at her, face pale. No… no, that’s not possible.

“He left…?” she echoed, breath catching in her throat.

Her trembling hands fumbled for her phone on the bedside table. She dialed his number quickly.

Powered off.

No tone. No ring. Just cold silence.

Her hand dropped slowly, the phone still in her grip. Tears welled in her eyes and began to slide down her cheeks. She clutched the fabric of her hospital gown right over her belly, gripping it tightly in her fist as if grounding herself, anchoring her body before her heart could completely break apart.

And then, memories of the night before came rushing back.

“You know how much I love you, right?”

“I’ll do anything to keep you and our baby safe.”

Her lips parted as the realization hit her like a wave.

He left to do something… for them.

She didn’t know what. She didn’t know where. But in that moment, something in her chest squeezed painfully tight with the knowledge that whatever he’d done—whatever path he’d walked into—he had done it for her.

Miles away…

In-ho stirred, groaning as he blinked into the harsh light above him. He slowly sat up, his body stiff from the cold metal bunk beneath him. Disoriented, he looked around.

The room was massive—more like a warehouse. Walls of concrete. Cameras. Dozens of bunk beds stacked in layers, reaching high above. And all around him, strangers in the same uniform as his.

He looked down.

Green and white tracksuit. A number stitched to the chest:

132.

His stomach dropped.

What did I just get myself into?

~TWO WEEKS LATER~

In-ho sat across the table, dressed in a black tuxedo that felt heavier than any uniform he’d ever worn. His once-sharp features now looked worn down—tired eyes, strands of damp hair clinging to his forehead, and the faint bruises on his cheekbone speaking of the hell he’d survived. The pristine suit couldn’t hide the man beneath—the man who had bled, fought, and clawed his way to this moment.

His number—132—stood stark on his chest, the only piece of identity he had left.

He didn’t speak.

Didn’t move.

Just sat there like a ghost, watching Il-nam with a storm in his eyes. Not rage. Not hope. Just the dull weight of someone who had given everything and was about to lose what little humanity he had left.

And yet… behind the haunted stare was a flicker of something else—the echo of soft laughter, the warmth of a hospital room, the curve of her belly beneath his trembling hand. A reminder of why he was here. And what this moment would cost.

Il-nam cleared his throat beneath the golden owl mask he wore—the mask of the man who created these games. The mastermind behind Squid Game.

He slid a dagger across the table toward In-ho.

In-ho stared down at it, then up at him, confusion flickering in his bloodshot eyes.

“Take this,” Il-nam said. “And kill the remaining players. You’ll win… and you’ll go back to your family.”

Kill?

In-ho’s fingers twitched. A rush of memories from the past two weeks flooded his mind—the games, the screams, the crushed bodies, the blood. So much blood. He had survived it all, but now they wanted him to kill with his own hands?

The same hands that once protected lives as a police officer… were now expected to end them?

“Why… why me?” His voice was hollow.

“Because I see it in you,” Il-nam answered calmly. “That desperation. That hunger to live. That determination to go back to your wife and unborn child. You’re the only one capable of doing what must be done.”

In-ho’s eyes dropped to the blade again. His hands clenched into fists in his lap, trembling.

“Think about your wife, Mr. Hwang. Do you even know what she’s going through right now? She’s scared. She’s in pain. Don’t you want this to be over? She’s waiting for you. Your child is waiting for you.”

And that was it.

In-ho grabbed the dagger and stormed out of the room.

---

The room was dark and still. Five players lay curled up across the cold bunks—unknowing, innocent in their exhaustion.

He didn’t hesitate.

One by one, he drove the blade into their chests. No names. No hesitation. Just death. His hands—once steady with justice—were now dripping with blood.

Then he stood over the last player.

His hand trembled.

He raised the dagger—ready to finish it.

And then he heard it.

“Don’t do this, In-ho…”

A voice. Soft. Familiar.

He looked up—and there she was.

Y/n.

Standing just a few feet away, barefoot, in her hospital gown. Her hands cradling her swollen belly. Her eyes full of pain.

“This isn’t you,” she whispered. “You’re not this person.”

His breath caught in his throat. He blinked. Once. Twice.

But she was gone.

A hallucination. His mind breaking under the weight of what he was doing.

He looked down at the sleeping man beneath him. Still alive. Still breathing.

And then—

He remembered the doctor’s words:

“Without treatment… you’ll lose them both.”

And with a guttural scream, he drove the dagger down—over and over—into the man’s chest and stomach, until the body went limp beneath him.

Blood splattered his face. His hands. His soul.

---

Two days had passed since the final game.

The air outside smelled different—cleaner somehow—but Hwang In-ho didn’t feel it. He didn’t feel anything. Not the weight of the black card in his pocket. Not the dull ache in his shoulder from the blood-drenched uniform he’d since burned. Not even the rush of 456 billion won now under his name.

He just felt numb.

The first place he went?

The hospital.

He stepped inside the familiar white building, his jaw set, his face emotionless. He barely acknowledged the nurse at the front desk.

“I’m here to pay for Hwang Y/N full treatment,” he said, reaching into his coat pocket and placing a thick envelope of cash on the counter. The woman blinked in disbelief.

“Sir… this is—this is everything. Are you sure—?”

“Yes. Everything. Don’t bother her with bills ever again.”

---

When he reached her floor, his heart began to race for the first time in days. He stopped outside her door, hand hovering over the handle.

Then slowly, he opened it.

The room was softly lit, the blinds cracked open just enough to let in gentle sunlight. Machines hummed quietly. The smell of antiseptic lingered in the air.

And there she was.

Y/N.

Her hair was tied up messily, strands falling loosely around her face. Her cheeks had grown a little fuller since he last saw her. Her belly was unmistakably round now, her hands resting protectively atop it. But her face—her eyes—looked worn. Tired. Like someone who’d cried too many times, alone, and had run out of tears.

She looked up.

For a moment, they both froze.

Relief washed over her expression, a breath she didn’t know she was holding finally released. But it was gone in an instant.

Her features twisted with emotion—rage, heartbreak, betrayal—and she sat up sharply in bed.

“YOU!”

In-ho stepped inside, quietly closing the door behind him.

“Where the hell have you been, In-ho?! Where? For two weeks, you vanished! You left me here! No calls, no texts, no nothing—do you have any idea what that felt like?!”

“I know,” he said softly, stepping closer.

“No, you don’t! I thought you died! Or worse—that you ran away! That you abandoned me and our baby! Do you have any idea how many nights I stayed awake, crying until I couldn’t breathe?”

“I didn’t abandon you,” he said, trying to hold her gaze. “I was—”

“Then WHERE WERE YOU?!” she yelled again, her voice breaking. “Do you know I begged the nurses to call the police? That I thought you’d gotten mugged or kidnapped? Do you know what it felt like waking up and not seeing you here—every single morning?”

In-ho stood beside her bed now, head bowed, his hand gently reaching for hers—but she pulled away.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, voice cracking. “I didn’t want to leave you like that. I just… I had to do something.”

“Something?! Something that made you shut off your phone, disappear like a ghost, and make me feel like I didn’t matter anymore?”

“You do matter. More than anything.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me?! Why didn’t you let me stop you?”

“Because I knew you would stop me,” he said, finally raising his eyes to hers. They shimmered with tears, both old and new. “And I couldn’t afford to lose you. I had to find a way. I had to get the money.”

Y/N stared at him, chest rising and falling fast.

“You were the only thing keeping me sane,” she whispered, voice trembling. “You… and this baby. And you just left.”

In-ho dropped on the edge of the bed, tears rolling freely down his face now.

“I never left you. Not even for a second. I thought about you every night. Every time I closed my eyes. I did it for you. For both of you.”

She looked away, jaw clenched.

“I hate you sometimes, you know,” she muttered, but her voice broke as her eyes filled again.

He didn’t say anything. He just stayed there, holding onto the side of the bed like it was the only thing keeping him grounded.

And in some way, it was.

Still sitting there, In-ho’s voice broke as he pleaded, “Please… just give me a little more time. Once you’re better—once the baby is safe—I’ll tell you everything. I swear it, Y/N.”

His fingers wrapped gently around her wrist, not to hold her in place, but to show he hadn’t stopped clinging—not to her, not to them.

“I won’t lie anymore. Just… let me keep this peace for a little while. I’ll tell you everything—every damn thing I did.”

Y/N looked at him. He was a mess—disheveled, eyes rimmed red, guilt etched across every feature. This wasn’t the man who left her. This was the man who came back.

She sighed shakily. Her anger hadn’t completely vanished—but her heart, bruised and battered, still beat for him.

“You better,” she said softly, voice trembling. “Because if you disappear on me again, I’ll break your legs myself.”

In-ho laughed—hoarse and broken—but it was the first real sound of relief that left him in days.

She reached out, cupping his face. “You’re still my idiot,” she whispered.

And then she leaned forward.

Their lips met in a slow, deep kiss—one that tasted of fear, longing, and fragile forgiveness.

He kissed her like he needed her to breathe, like his heart only knew how to beat in rhythm with hers.

When they finally pulled apart, he rested his forehead against hers, whispering, “I missed you so damn much.”

~ONE MONTH LATER~

The apartment felt alive again.

Soft sunlight spilled through the windows as light jazz hummed from the stereo. Their small place smelled of lavender and tea. Plants thrived again by the windowsill, and the cozy blanket on the couch hadn’t been folded in days.

Y/N stood in the kitchen, humming as she sliced fruit. She looked stronger now. The dullness in her skin had faded, and her cheeks held color again. Her bump, round and prominent now at nearly five months, made her glow.

In-ho came up behind her, arms sneaking around her waist as he pressed his chest to her back.

“You’re not supposed to sneak up on me when I have a knife in hand,” she teased, smiling.

“I like living on the edge,” he whispered into her neck, then gently moved her hand aside and kissed her temple.

She chuckled as he guided her away from the counter and into the living room, helping her sit down on the couch with the ease of someone who had memorized her favorite position.

He knelt in front of her, resting both hands on her belly, thumbs brushing softly across the fabric of her dress.

“Hey,” he whispered to the bump. “I know you can hear me in there. Just wanted to say… your mom’s the strongest woman I’ve ever known.”

Y/N smiled, biting her lip as tears pricked her eyes.

In-ho leaned forward, kissing her belly softly. “And I can’t wait to meet you, little one. You’re already so loved.”

He rested his cheek gently against her stomach, listening as if waiting for the baby to answer back.

---

Later, as the sun began to dip, painting the room in a golden hue, In-ho sat quietly on the armchair, watching Y/N doze lightly on the couch.

His gaze softened.

And then—like a jolt—a memory hit him.

A voice.

“Be my frontman.”

Ill-nam’s words echoed in his mind like a ghost.

“You’re capable. You have the instincts. You survived. The game needs someone like you.”

In-ho’s smile faded slowly.

His jaw tensed. He stared at the wall, his eyes unfocused, mind replaying the offer he’d tried so hard to forget.

A hand subconsciously clenched on the armrest.

He gulped.

Hard.

Because now, with everything finally calm… the storm wasn’t over.

It was just waiting to begin.

[lostreverb]

bed chem (short n' sweet)

(colin zabel x fem!reader) your internship just got more interesting...

warnings / content: not really proofread, age gap (reader is 20-22, colin's like 32-34), swearing, perv!reader tbh, NSFW - masturbation (toys) + fingering (fem receiving), p in v

(this fic is a part of my short n' sweet collection!) a/n: every time i listen to this song i think of colin like he's just so... AHHHHHHHHHH i've literally had this idea since the album came out! tried to incorporate as many lyrics as i could idk how well i did tho!

--

the easttown police department wasn’t exactly a hub of thrilling action. that was probably a good thing for the town, but for you, it made the days of your internship drag endlessly. stuck behind a desk, processing minor domestic disputes and petty incidents, the hours stretched out. you couldn’t help but wish that, just once, you’d be allowed to join an officer out in the field. to witness a slice of the town's life up close instead of through dry reports. but no, you were stuck in the back office, relying on your imagination to fill in the blanks while you typed up incident after incident.

on this particular afternoon, you were making your way down the hallway with a precariously high stack of files balanced in your arms. you could feel the papers shift, hear the quiet rustle of their movement as they started to slide. panic gripped you briefly—this was going to be embarrassing. you were already imagining the cascade of documents scattering across the floor, how you’d have to drop to your knees and scramble to gather them up, probably while everyone watched. just as the stack tilted dangerously to one side, a hand swooped in, catching the top section before it could tumble.

"here, lemme help you with that," a man said, accompanied by a friendly smile. a smile too relaxed, too bright for this quiet, indifferent corner of pennsylvania.

grateful, you gestured toward your desk a few feet away. "thanks," you mumbled, trying not to sound too embarrassed as you placed the files down with a sigh of relief. he set the rescued papers down beside yours, glancing at you with a foreign look. like he actually saw you as a person instead of the intern that does the shit no one else wants to do.

"you doin' okay?" he asked. his concern seemed genuine, which again, took you a second to process.

"yeah! yeah, i'm good!" you responded, a little too enthusiastically perhaps, as you straightened the files in a futile effort to regain your composure. "thank you."

the man chuckled softly. "you know, sometimes it’s easier just to take the two trips." he shot you a wink that made your pulse quicken. "speakin' from experience," he added, leaning a little closer as if sharing a secret. "when i was in your shoes, i had to learn the hard way."

the chief called him over and, after a charismatic "duty calls" farewell, he walked off. you sat down at your desk, face hurting from the corners of your mouth being lifted for so long, but you couldn't bring them down.

you buried your face into your arms, letting your forehead rest against the cool surface of the desk for a few minutes. if anyone saw the flush creeping up your cheeks, you’d never hear the end of it. you took a deep breath, trying to shake off the feeling, willing yourself to get back to work. but the more you tried to focus, the more impossible it became.

why? because guess whose office was in clear view of your desk? mare's. and guess who was now in mare's office quite adorably rehearsing a conversation with himself?

yeah... you were done for.

the man's lips moved slightly as if he was practicing lines for a play, his brow furrowed in concentration, and every so often, he’d run a hand through his neatly cropped hair, or shake his head in disapproval, looking entirely too charming for his own good.

you needed to find out who he was right away. what was he there to talk to mare about? was he a detective? why couldn't you stop thinking about him pinning you against a wall?

unable to live with the mystery you pushed yourself up from your chair and marched over to the nearest officer, your pulse still racing. "hey—uh, hello." you cleared your throat, trying to sound casual despite the warmth still lingering in your cheeks. "who’s the cute guy in mare’s office? you know, uh.."

wide brown eyes, chiseled jawline..

"navy jacket- big briefcase."

the officer looked up, raising an eyebrow at your blunt description before glancing toward the office. "county guy chief brought in to help with the katie bailey case," he replied nonchalantly. "last name's zabel if i remember right."

you nodded, pretending like that was enough to satisfy your curiosity, but then another officer nearby chimed in with a smirk. "that’s him? poor guy’s gonna be in for it."

they quickly devolved into their own conversation, talking shop and completely forgetting you were even standing there. under normal circumstances, their dismissal might’ve bugged you, but you had bigger priorities now.

back at your desk, you grabbed your phone and opened up a browser, your fingers flying across the screen. within moments, you’d found him. detective colin zabel of delaware county. recently praised for solving a cold case involving a missing 10-year-old girl—a feat that had earned him respect in the force and beyond.

you couldn’t help but grin. of course he was the hero detective. it made perfect sense. but now that you knew who he was, it didn’t make the butterflies in your stomach any easier to ignore.

when mare had finally arrived, you watched the awkward interaction between the two of them. colin outstretched his hand only for her to disregard his formalities. you saw it coming, but it didn't make it any less painful to observe.

you waited until she had left (which wasn't very long) to discreetly travel over to the office. the door was open so you knocked on the frame.

"it's not personal. she's got a lot going on" you said with an understanding smile.

at the sound of your voice, colin turned around, giving a deflated chuckle towards your remark. "you er- saw that whole thing?"

"my desk is right there" you said, pointing, the two stacks of files barely touched. "sorry i kinda.. visually eavesdropped"

"no worries-" colin briefly smiled at your humorous confession then looked away. "uhhhhhh- did you need somethin'?"

"just wanted to introduce myself" you said, extending your hand out. "i'm y/n"

when he firmly took yours in his, your eyes couldn't help but flicker down and notice the veins that decorated them. a thought crossed your mind about where they might show up on other parts of his body.

"that's a pretty name"

you looked up from the grip your two hands were intertwined in, colin's attentive dark eyes on you.

"thank you.." you said softly, pulling away. shit, why were you out of breath? "uhm- i read about that... that case you solved? amazing work"

"oh- that was- i'm not-" he scratched the back of his head, trying to find words to minimize the accomplishment. you didn't know what was more attractive—hearing him stumble over his words or his humility. "we brought her home you know? that's what matters"

you nodded earnestly in response. "100%... well let me know if you need anythin'. i know people here can be a bit closed off but it's not all that bad."

"yeah thanks... nice to know i got a friend already" he smiled.

a friend... for now.

--

seeing as he was always in the back of your mind, and you couldn't care less about filling out reports, daydreaming about colin became your favorite past time. and every smile, every corny joke he greeted you with only fueled your crush.

it wasn't long before you noticed he had his eyes on mare, but the way he stared at you while you spoke about your criminology major... crossing his built arms, leaning forward on his desk to show you he was really listening. the way he'd routinely check on you and stop by your desk to chat....

for god's sake he started to get you coffee every morning.

there had to be something there... right? something more between you than mere camaraderie.

you definitely thought so. and thought about it often.. in bed.

eyes closed, you pictured colin's body hovering over yours. you could discern his toned figure from the form fitted button-ups he wore.. he'd have absolutely no problem picking you up and turning you over, manhandling you... though he probably wouldn't. he's too sweet for that. so sweet... and yet no ring? colin seemed like the type of man who should've had a wife and 2 kids by now...

maybe you could be the one to give that to him.

not now of course.

one day though.

still thinking of him you reached down into your panties, playing with your delicate folds in the caring manner you imagined him to have.

"so beautiful" he'd whisper, pumping two slick digits in and out of you at a sensual pace.

gasping moans escaped from your mouth as your fingers moved faster, the squelching sound of your fluids filling the room.

"that's it... god, i love how y'sound..."

belt unbuckled, he'd pull down his pants and boxers in one swift motion revealing his hard cock ready to drive into you. from underneath your bed you grab your dildo—oversized and veiny as colin would be and removed your now-soaked underwear.

he'd smile against your lips as he slotted himself between your legs, your body accommodating as he entered. after he'd ask (quite endearningly) if you're okay, you'd quickly nod, giving him permission to continue.

you try to imagine the expression of lust on his face... the sound of his deep groans in your ear as you fucked yourself gently, attempting to emulate your bodies rocking together in synced movement, the riveting sensation of the veins against your walls sending shockwaves through your body.

"fuck... oh my god" you panted, feeling the heat build up in your core. you were close.

"let go, i've got you... taking me like this, you're doing so well... makin' me feel so good..."

you increase the pace at which you pummel the dildo into your quivering cunt, eyes rolling back as you reach your climax, your body left trembling.

with colin, your sure you'd probably both arrive at the same time.

but for now you just had to live with unsatisfaction of not feeling his warm release coating your insides.

--

the next morning the chief had called you into his office.

a grin spread on your face as the he detailed the new program the department was implementing, how you'd finally be able to shadow an officer like you'd hoped when you first applied for the internship.

"any officer you have a preference to be paired with?"

you turned your head and caught colin's gaze through the office window. he was deep in conversation with mare, but when he noticed you, he gave a small wave. you smiled back, feeling a slight flutter.

"yeah, i’ve got someone in mind."

--

extra note: part two coming (hopefully soon!) it'll be based off the song "busy woman"!

tags (ask to be added or removed anytime!): @fear-is-truth @juliamaximoff @jazz-berry @violetsghosts @quickreider @tiffysdeath @honeymoon8

[revolutionsingingintherainnn]

Sajda 𓆩♡𓆪

Summary: Lando found his greatest love at the worst time. Yet she would always be there with him.

♥ ln x desi!reader [important author's note below] ʚɞ

♥ angst + fluff ʚɞ

♥ tw: death [lemme know if there's anything else] ʚɞ

author's note: i know this says desi!reader, but there's only one thing in hindi that y/n says, and the meaning of it will be revealed later, so y'all can read this, despite it being a desi!reader. and, this is kinda long (that's what she said). the max i mention in this is max f, unless i mention otherwise.

masterlist ☾☼

lando had met y/n in the most unusual way possible. he'd been in a cafe, waiting for his coffee and scone, when he'd seen her walk in. she hadn't looked anything extraordinary to anyone. she looked like the average university student with too many books, and not enough hands to hold them. yet somehow, lando had been intrigued by her. he'd seen many college students around in monaco, yet something about her had made him forget about everyone else, and everything else.

he'd watched, even though he didn't want to come across as a creep, as she fell into a nearby seat, resting her arms and breathing heavily. lando didn't know why she was breathing so heavily. she hadn't ran in, and the weight of her books couldn't have been so much that it was physically draining her.

lando waited for someone to offer her water, but no one did. she was hunched over, her chest falling and rising rapidly, and he couldn't sit back anymore. quickly walking over to the counter, lando requested for a bottle of water, apologising for not ordering at the cash counter. the woman had been kind enough to hand him a bottle, and just said that she would bill it later, before he left.

thanking the woman, lando walked over with the bottle in hand. she was still hunched over, her hand to her chest, and she was still breathing too heavily. he knocked on her table twice, making her head shoot up, staring at him. wordlessly, he offered the bottle to her. she hesitated, but grabbed it, and quickly drank from it, almost finishing the whole thing in one go.

"thank you," she said. her accent was different, and her voice was soft and velvety and kind.

"are you okay?" lando asked.

she nodded, "i am now,"

"would you like help with anything?"

she stared at him for a few seconds, "i'm not accepting help from a stranger,"

lando's eyes widened, "oh, i'm so sorry. i'm lando, it's nice to meet you." he held his hand out for her to shake.

"i know who you are. i follow f1," she said as she grabbed his hand and pulled herself up. staring at her smaller hand in his, lando noticed her ln bracelet.

"so, i take it you like how i drive?" lando smirked, a little cocky.

her eyes narrowed, "sometimes."

his eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "what do you mean 'sometimes'?"

"well, y'all are mighty rich and arrogant, and i'd rather not give you the satisfaction by saying i'm a fan of yours," she said, taking her hand back from his. lando hadn't even realised that he was still holding onto her hand.

"that seems ru-" lando broke off when he saw her fighting a smile. he smiled as well, shaking his head.

"i'm y/n. and, i am a fan of yours," she introduced herself, a teasing smile on her lips.

she had a dimple, like lando did, and out of everything that he had noticed in the few minutes, her dimple was his favourite.

"would you like to join me? i could order you something?" lando asked bashfully.

"just because i'm a college student doesn't mean i'm broke," she said dryly.

his eyes widened, and he rushed to correct himself, to let her know that he didn't mean it like that, and he just wanted to do something nice. but then, she laughed. a loud laugh and lando froze.

that laugh, her laugh, was more beautiful than the sound of any of his cars. her laugh was more beautiful than hearing his national anthem at the top step. her laugh was more beautiful than anything he had ever heard, and he wished he had recorded it because he wanted to listen to that laugh till he died.

"i'm just kidding. thank you, i'd appreciate it." she said, still smiling.

she was shorter than him, and almost looked fragile. lando hated himself for thinking like that, given his history of dealing with bullying, but her arms were thin and he worried. he worried for a girl he met a few minutes ago.

lando picked up her books, as she grabbed her bag and the bottle of water. he led her to the seat he had previously occupied. he gently kept her books on the table, and pulled out the chair for her, being a true gentleman.

"you don't have to worry about me being the bus stop girl. i won't lie on the internet," y/n said, and lando burst out in laughter. he liked her. he liked her dry humour.

"no, go ahead and lie, i'd be fine with it," he said, as he settled into the chair across from her.

"you're not worried that i'm some crazy fan who's going to go on twitter and tiktok and i don't know where else to post a made up story about you?" she asked, settling into the seat.

somehow, she looked smaller in it, and lando felt the need to protect her, to make her realise just how much space was available for her to occupy because he didn't like that she was shrinking herself.

"are you going to?" he retaliated.

y/n smirked, "i might,"

"then, i'd like to see how creative you can get."

she smiled, showing her dimple again, and lando thought for a moment if she would scream at him if he asked to take a picture of her dimple.

the woman from the counter placed his coffee and his scone on the table, and turned to y/n, asking if she needed anything. y/n ordered for a coffee, and apologised for not ordering at the cash counter.

the woman hushed her, as if it was an every day occurrence for the two women.

"do you come here often?" he asked, taking a sip of his coffee.

she nodded, "every day. it's the cafe closest to my apartment, so i spend a lot of time here."

lando's head tilted in confusion, "how come i've never seen you before then?"

"maybe you weren't looking for me then," she was flirting. lando wasn't sure. but he hoped she was.

"maybe i wasn't ready for you before. the universe does work in mysterious ways, y'know,"

she leaned forward, a mischievous glint in her eye, "oh, honey, you're never going to be ready for the storm i am,"

he laughed once again, and he liked that. the pressure of the world championship was catching up to him, despite his efforts to not let it affect him. he hadn't properly laughed like this in a while, but somehow, he was glad that he was laughing with her, a woman he met a half hour ago.

they kept talking, making each other laugh, falling into comfortable silences, asking questions just to get to know the other better. they didn't speak much about lando's job, or why she was breathing so heavily when he had first approached her. the two recognised that those were uncomfortable topics.

lando knew that y/n, as a fan, would have her own opinions, and while he didn't know what she thought of his driving or his team or his teammate or anyone on the grid, he also knew that he didn't want to hear it. the world had an opinion on everything but they didn't know the truth, and lando refused to get influenced by the opinions of someone who had no idea what happened behind cameras.

y/n had also subtly changed topics any time it came close to her breathing, or her general exhaustion. lando desperately wanted to know, but he didn't want to overstep, especially because this was a friendship he wanted to keep in his life.

lando had stayed at the cafe way longer than he was supposed to, but he didn't really mind, and he knew that max would understand. when y/n began packing up, ready to leave, he shyly asked for her number, and asked if he would see her again.

"you're a lot more confident on social media than you are in real life," she mused, a soft smile on her lips letting him know that she wasn't judging, but instead, just making an observation.

"i know what people want me to be online. it doesn't always mean that's who i am,"

"wise words, mister norris,"

lando ducked his head, "thank you, miss y/l/n,"

she had given him her number, quickly calling her phone to make sure that she had it as well. just as she turned to leave, she hesitated for a second, and lando watched, not wanting to miss a second of her existence.

she was second guessing herself, he knew, but nothing could have prepared him for when she leaned up slightly, her hand on his arm, and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, before turning away and walking out.

lando stood there frozen, a goofy smile on his face, feeling excited about seeing her again.

the two fell into an easy friendship. lando found out that y/n tended to sleep quite often, and because of that, she used every little energy she had in studying and maintaining her gpa. he found out that she was from india, and was attending university here on a scholarship. he found out that her favourite drink was hazelnut coffee, with a lot of whipped cream. she was a sucker for kinder, just like he was. he found out that she was bad at texting, often leaving him on delivered for hours, sometimes days, though she always apologised profusely and said that it was out of her control most of the time. lando also found out that he forgave her quite easily.

they spent most of their time at the cafe, sometimes working together in silence, sometimes she explained to him what she was studying with a passion he hadn't seen anywhere else. sometimes, they just talked about everything and nothing, and it became lando's favourite thing.

when it was time for lando to head to the mtc for work, to focus on the last three races, he had felt gutted. he wouldn't see her anymore, and he hadn't realised just how much of his mood had began depending on her. the day before he left, he walked her back to her apartment, refusing to let her walk alone in the dark.

outside of her apartment building, she pulled him in a hug, wrapping her arms around his waist. she had dropped her bag on the floor, just so she could hug him. lando immediately wrapped his arms around her neck, keeping her to him.

they didn't say anything, just breathed each other in. it wasn't goodbye, lando knew that, yet it felt like it. it felt like a goodbye, and lando was not ready to let her go just yet, no matter the reason.

as she began to pull away from him, he pressed a kiss to her hair, holding her for just another second, before he let her go.

"i'll see you soon, yeah?" he whispered.

she smiled, biting her lip. his gaze focused on her lip, and he desperately wanted to kiss her, but he couldn't. he shouldn't.

"win for me, will you?" she said softly.

he smiled, "as long as you keep letting me know you're alive and well,"

her smile faltered, and lando immediately wondered what he said, what was going on in her brain.

she smiled brightly again, and nodded. she pressed a kiss to his cheek, like she did every time she went back home. and, like every time, he froze, smiling goofily.

lando watched as she picked up her bag and walked inside the building. he watched, half because she was mesmerising, and half because he wanted to make sure that she was safe.

when he was travelling, lando and y/n fell into a similar routine. since they weren't able to meet face to face, they were on facetime almost constantly. the only time they weren't on facetime was when either of them were sleeping, or lando was training or in a meeting. she had gotten better at texting as well, keeping him updated about everything and anything. she let him know when she'd be unavailable for their facetime calls, and lando understood.

lando felt deeply for her. he knew that his feelings for her were romantic. he hoped that she felt the same for him. but, the more rational part of him also knew that if he wanted to be with her for a long term, he'd have to be her friend first. he'd have to build that solid foundation with her first.

for y/n, he was willing to wait as long as she wanted.

of course, she never said or indicated anything regarding her feelings towards him. at the end of the day, lando wanted to be a part of her life in any way that she would want him. he'd never felt like this before, had never felt this insane need to be around someone, to have someone in his bubble all the time. he didn't understand this feeling very well, had never experienced something like this before.

he'd confided in max. he explained to his best friend every emotion and every thought that ran through him when he was with her, and when he was away from her. his best friend admitted to never seeing lando like this, but also said that he was happy to see his best friend so enamoured with someone.

max's advice had been to take it slow, and to be friends with her till she asked or indicated otherwise. when pietra and ria had agreed with him, lando knew for sure that that was the best course of action. he didn't want to overwhelm her. he didn't want to make her feel like he was expecting anything more than what she was willing to give. he'd hate himself if his actions drove her away.

so, he took it slow.

he sent her pictures from his day, and voice notes at the end of the day. he kept her on facetime, saying that he needs company as an excuse. as if he wasn't surrounded by his mechanics and engineers. he texted her before he got in the car, and he texted her after he got out. he sent her memes, and he flirted a little bit.

and, she did the same. she sent him pictures from her day, letting him know when she was at the cafe. sometimes, he'd recognise his coffee order and scone, and wondered if she missed him the way he missed her. she indulged in his excuse and stayed on facetime with him. she listened to all his voice notes, and responded to them. she texted him every time he was on track, giving him a live update of everything that was going on in her head. sometimes, she flirted back too. she didn't do it often, but she flirted back, and it always made lando smile.

after the season had ended, lando stayed in monaco as much as possible. he missed his family, and he missed his friends for sure. but, he needed to be in y/n's presence like he needed oxygen.

during his off months, y/n's family had come to visit her, and she couldn't stay out much. so, they changed their routine a little. every night, after dinner, lando would meet her at the entrance of her apartment building, and the two would take a walk, sometimes getting ice cream on the way, for an hour or two.

she always made him laugh. and, she laughed just as much. he still wanted to record that sound, and play it over and over and over, till he didn't remember anything but that sound. his feelings had grown stronger over time. she hadn't given any indication of wanting a romantic relationship with him, and he hadn't pushed. he kept his flirting to a minimum as well, not wanting to make her uncomfortable.

during one of their walks, y/n had informed lando that her family were going on a trip somewhere, and that she wouldn't be able to talk to him much. he had understood, remembering the stories she'd told of her parents and how they often told her to stay away from her phone. lando planned his trip to his parents' place at around the same time, as well.

he was determined not to miss a single second he could have with her.

the trip she'd taken with her family was three weeks long. they kept up the same routine as race weekends. though, this time, it didn't include facetime calls. he sent her voice notes and pictures regularly, and she responded, though, often really late, and sounding more tired than ever. she shared pictures sometimes, informing him that most pictures were on her brother's phone because he had a better camera than she did.

nonetheless, their bond remained strong.

max called him whipped. carlos said something similar. but he knew that they knew just how important this woman was to him. they hadn't seen anything like it before, and he hadn't felt anything like this before.

despite his efforts of spending every possible second with her, lando had been an f1 driver. meaning, he had to be at the mtc often, especially to meet sponsors and work with his team before the pre-testing.

even though she had never asked or indicated anything, lando bought her gifts to make up for the time he lost with her. she would always laugh, but would accept the gift. in the beginning, she had put up a fight, telling him that it was too much and that he didn't need to. lando was stubborn, and eventually, she'd sighed and accepted it.

just like that, a year passed.

lando was there for her graduation, clapping when she went on stage and received her diploma. lando was there when she found her first job. he was there to drop her off and pick her up on her first day. he was there with ice cream every time she told him that she felt drained, and the two would watch a movie. he was there for every big and every small moment. as much as he could, at least.

she was there every time he came home after a race. she was there every time he was frustrated with the team, with himself, with the media. she was there every time they went to a seafood restaurant, and only ever ordered spring rolls. she was there at the cafe, his coffee and scone ready whenever he was running late. she was there when he was homesick. she was there when he'd be streaming, just sitting close to him. she was there for every quadrant shoot, giving him her ideas as well. she was there for every game night, every movie night, every little party he had. in her own way, she was there with him like no one else had ever been there.

it was so easy being friends with her, sometimes lando forgot that his crush had turned into him being in love with her. it was so easy being with her, that sometimes, lando forgot about his own feelings, only ever focused on her voice and her smile and her hands and everything about her.

she was weak some days, reminding him of the day they'd met, with her breathing so heavily. she would always tell him that it was her time of the month, and these were just some symptoms. lando had grown up with two sisters, but he had never seen anything like what y/n was going through. he had asked his sister if it was normal to be feeling like that during their cycles. his sister had reassured him that it was different for every woman, and as long as y/n said she was fine, she truly was fine.

but, it all came crashing down one day.

lando hadn't expected it. in fact, it happened during a race, and lando was unaware.

he'd had a good race, one that he was proud of. immediately after changing, lando had checked his phone, frowning when there were no messages from y/n. that had been odd, because y/n texted him during each race. she had been doing so consistently for the past year. to suddenly not have a single text from her, not even a good luck text, had worried him.

his flight was scheduled for back home the next morning. if she didn't pick up his call, lando was sure that he would jump on the next flight out and rush home just to check on her.

the ringtone was loud in his ear, even though the volume on his phone wasn't. his heart was beating erratically again, for a completely different reason as before. usually, he loved feeling his heartbeat everywhere, feeling the rush of it in his veins when he was in the car. now, though? he hated the feeling.

she picked up at the final ring. lando breathed out a sigh of relief.

"y/n? are you okay? you didn't text me during the race and i got worried," he said.

she paused for a second on the other side, and lando frowned.

"um, this is her friend. she's in the hospital, actually," the voice was low, but it seemed to echo in his ears.

hospital? what? why? what had happened?

"what?" he croaked out, his body working on autopilot as he stuffed his things in his bag.

"she was fine in the morning, but her condition got a little worse, and we had to get her to the hospital," her friend said.

"condition? what condition?" lando was freaking out.

"she didn't tell you?"

"no! she didn't! is she okay?"

"she'll be okay eventually. at least, that's what the doctor said."

lando asked for the hospital name, looking for flights at the same time.

as he left the paddock, zak and oscar stopped him, but lando didn't have time. he couldn't lose precious seconds.

"i'm really sorry, i have to go, i need to go," he didn't know what he was saying, or what he was doing. all he knew was that he needed to get to y/n as soon as possible.

"woah, woah, woah, lando," oscar said, grabbing lando's arms, holding him in place.

"what's wrong?" zak asked.

zak didn't know y/n, but oscar did. oscar knew her. oscar would understand. yes, oscar would help him.

eyes wide, lando said, "she's in the hospital. i have to go. i don't know what happened, osc, i have to go."

"okay, okay. give me your room key, i'll pack up your stuff and drop it off at your place tomorrow," oscar was calm. how was oscar calm?

"yes, yes, that's smart," lando immediately pulled out the room key card from his pocket, handing it to oscar.

"lando, deep breaths-"

"but, she's-"

"i know. but, you're not going to be of any help to her if you can't help yourself right now. deep breaths with me,"

lando copied oscar's breathing pattern, his hands holding onto oscar's arms. once the rushing blood in his ear subsided, lando nodded, gulping.

"she's going to be okay," oscar reassured him.

lando nodded, taking a step back, ready to turn and leave. just before he began running, he turned quickly, hugging oscar, thanking him. before oscar could hug back, lando was running.

the wait was excruciating. the wait in the taxi going to the airport. the wait at the airport for his flight. the wait in the flight. the wait in the taxi going to the hospital. it was eating him alive, and every single cell in his body was vibrating with fear.

in the midst of his panic, he had managed to text max and carlos, his two closest friends, letting them know of the situation. he knew that carlos was probably asleep by now, and would see the message in the morning, but max had responded immediately, instructing lando to let him know if he needed anything.

when he reached the hospital, he immediately ran to the front desk, asking for y/n. the nurse standing there almost looked afraid of him. his eyes were red, his hair unruly. he hadn't slept at all after the race, and hadn't eaten anything either. he felt weak, but he needed to see y/n. he needed to see his y/n.

before the nurse could say anything, a voice called his name. turning, he saw y/n's friend, the one who had answered her phone. rushing towards her, he let out his frenzy list of questions.

"is she okay? what happened? when did it happen? what did the doctor say?"

her friend didn't say anything, just quietly led him to her room. the wait to her room was excruciating as well, somehow worse than when he was on the flight.

standing outside her room, her friend turned to him and said, "it isn't my story to tell. it's hers. but, know this, lando, being with her, as a friend or boyfriend or whatever, it's with a ticking time bomb. one day, she is going to leave us. if you go in that room, know that you will have to prepare yourself for when the time runs out and it all explodes."

he heard her words. he registered them. maybe he should walk away. save himself the pain that would come with her inevitably leaving. he could. very easily, in fact. she wasn't awake. she didn't know he was here. he could ask her friend to not mention anything about him, and he could turn around and leave. he could.

but he didn't. why didn't he? why couldn't he? he knew he loved her the first day he met her. he knew he wanted to be in her life for as long as she wanted. if she was going to inevitably leave, he'd rather hold her hand till it went slack and cold. if she was going to inevitably leave, he'd rather love her, just so she went with a smile.

his hand was on the doorknob, and he turned it, pushing the door open.

she had tubes attached to her, and the steady beating of her heart was heard through the beeping. she looked small and frail. she looked like she would turn to dust if he touched her. her skin was pale, and her bones were so clearly visible. oh, his sweet y/n.

dropping his bag at the side, he sat on the chair beside her bed, slowly, carefully, picking up her hand, holding it, running his fingers over and over them, making sure she was real.

tears streamed down his face. why hadn't he noticed any of it before? why hadn't he pushed her for information when she changed the subject? he knew something hadn't been right, but he was stupid enough to ignore it. how could he have been so stupid?

lando's head rested on the bed beside their joined hands, sobs wracking his body. he had felt pain before. he had felt pain when his grandmother passed. he had felt pain when he read the hate comments about him. he had felt pain then. this pain was something he hadn't felt before, something that was completely incomparable.

he must've fallen asleep right there, the exhaustion of the race and the travel, the stress of all of it combined draining him physically and mentally. he woke up with a jerk, his neck aching. wiping the corner of his mouth, his eyes fell on the sleeping figure on the bed.

except she wasn't sleeping anymore.

"y/n!" he exclaimed, standing over her and checking every single part of her that he could see, as if the condition she had was external.

"i'm sorry i didn't watch the race. how'd you do?" she whispered, smiling gently.

lando huffed out a laugh, "as if i care about the race anymore," leaning forward, he pressed a kiss against her forehead.

"you scared me, lovie," he whispered, his forehead resting against hers.

"told you i was a storm you weren't ready for," she smiled, and god, lando wanted to kiss her. he wanted to kiss her so desperately.

"oh, you are a storm, alright, but i'm more than ready for you," he said, pulling back and settling on the uncomfortable chair again.

he stared at her for a few seconds, a little bit of his tension falling away. "why didn't you tell me?"

she hesitated, her mouth opening and closing as she attempted to explain to him, "i wanted to. at first i couldn't figure out how or when to tell you, and then i started worrying that if i did tell you, you'd leave. i didn't want you to leave,"

her voice was small, as if she was afraid that he would hear her, that he would confirm her fear. silly, silly girl.

he clasped her hand in his, pressing a kiss to her fingertips and he said, "y/n, i am crazy in love with you. have been from the day i met you. absolutely nothing will make me want to leave you,"

she stared at him, still chewing on her lip slightly, and then whispered, "what if i told you i had a dick?"

his brain froze for a second, but she smiled, and he laughed, and in his heart, everything was right again, "then, i'll figure out how sex works on the go,"

she laughed, and he smiled, and in his heart, the warmth spread again.

"do you really love me?" she asked, almost sounding broken.

"desperately," he said, without hesitation.

"you won't leave?"

"i'd rather drive with extremely old tyres on a wet track with no fireproofs than leave,"

she smacked his hand, "don't say that!"

"it's the truth,"

it was silent for a second.

"i love you too, by the way. i forgot to say that,"

lando laughed, "more than a friend?"

"way more than a friend,"

"y/n?"

"lando?"

"what condition do you have?" he was afraid of the answer. granted, he didn't know much about diseases and such. his knowledge of physical anatomy only went as far as understanding the risks of being an f1 driver and being in an f1 car.

"it's something complicated. it's a lifelong thing, and there's no particular cure for it. we found out in its early stages, which is why we started treatment early as well. the doctors told me that i'd have maybe twenty or thirty years more, but that death was inevitable. "

"oh,"

"yeah. my doctor in india recommended a specialist doctor here, and since my parents were already struggling a little bit with the costs, i got a scholarship, so that it was one less thing for them to worry about. i've made peace with the fact that i am going to die one day, lando. i know that it's going to happen, and i am ready for it."

"what if-"

"don't try and find a better doctor or something, lando. it's not going to work. whatever this is, it makes me physically weak and tired so easily. the walk from my apartment to the cafe sometimes tires me out so much. i can't breathe properly in it, i pass out way too often, i can't hold in any sort of food sometimes. my lungs hurt, and my arms and legs go numb, and it's a lot of things. and it's only going to result in one thing."

lando stayed silent. he didn't know what to say, and after everything that had happened in the past weekend, and now, his brain was taking time to process it.

"is that why you didn't reply to me for days sometimes? 'cause you were in the hospital?"

"mhmm,"

he tried not to cry. he really did. all he could think about was every time that he had assumed she was busy, or he had believed her excuses, she was all alone in a hospital with no one to take care of her, no one to protect her from this godforsaken condition. "why didn't you tell me? i could've been here with you? were you scared? did you have someone to hold your hand?"

"oh, lan," she cupped his cheek, as he sobbed.

"i'm gonna be here now. i'm gonna be with you now all the time. whatever happens, i'll be here, and i'll help you wherever you need me to,"

"you have a job, lando," she said softly.

"fuck that. i don't care about that anymore. i just care about you. don't leave me, please," lando was on his knees, holding onto her hand, sobbing as everything inside him broke.

"sang pyaar rahe mein rahun na rahu," she whispered.

"i don't know what that means, lovie," he sniffed, calming himself down, doing what oscar had done not twenty four hours ago.

"when i die-"

"y/n-"

"it's the truth, lando. when i die, look it up. okay?"

he nodded, promising her that he would.

things changed after that. of course it did.

lando spent every second possible with y/n, making sure that she was okay, and following the instructions she'd gotten from the doctor to rest more. he was there whenever she needed him, and now that she was more truthful about what was happening with her, lando realised just how much she had been hiding from him in the first place.

of course, lando had to go to the mtc for work often and the races, because it was his job at the end of the day, but he always made sure that she had someone with her, and had phone numbers of oscar, carlos, max f and max v, will and jon. any person who could easily get a hold of him when he was away.

he worried, and he knew she knew he worried. but she did love him for it. she told him so repeatedly. they hadn't kissed, even when weeks had passed from her last hospital visit where lando really found out about her condition. they hadn't kissed, and hell, they hadn't even talked about dating or anything of that sort.

lando supposed that they should, at least once. to clear out any misunderstandings, or to just be on the same page. but, they did have a mutual understanding that despite not talking about the change in their dynamic, they were together. like, together-together.

they still went on walks after dinner. it was the little bit of exercise that she got, and lando was determined to make sure that she was moving. the easiness between them was still present, except there was an added element of brushing fingers, casual touching, walking a step closer than normal. and then, it changed to holding hands when walking, which sometimes became lando's arm across her shoulder, tucking her to him, and sometimes it became her hand tucked in the inside of his elbow.

lando knew that people watched, that there were cameras everywhere, but with her, it was the least of his worries. it was during one of their walks when he kissed her for the first time.

he hadn't planned on doing it. she had ice cream stuck to her lip, and lando wanted. whether he wanted the ice cream or just her, he refused to acknowledge. he had kissed her, and she had kissed him back, and they had been unable to wipe their smiles off their faces.

it felt like kissing once took away any tension between the two, because then, they were kissing all the time. little pecks of hi, i love you. make out sessions in his car or her apartment, or even the little alley beside her apartment building. forehead kisses when she felt particularly weak, or when she had to be in the hospital. love bites of when they got carried away, and then lando took pictures (but no one else had to know that).

they were happy. they deserved that happiness.

but the dark cloud was still looming over their heads, and as much as lando tried to avoid it, as much as he tried to forget about it, every trip to the hospital had reminded him that there was only one way their story was going to end and he needed to prepare himself for it.

every time, his girl saw him struggling. she knew. and every time, she only ever told him, "sang pyaar rahe mein rahun na rahu,"

he still didn't know what it meant. he had wanted to look it up, but he also remembered his promise to her. sometimes, late at night, when she would be asleep, curled up next to him, he would repeat the words over and over again in his head.

a year after they'd started dating, y/n made her official debut as his girlfriend at the monaco grand prix. she wasn't allowed to travel a lot, especially by air. the only few times that she travelled was when her parents had taken her to another doctor halfway across the world back when lando and her were still friends, or for when she visited india, which was also rare.

of course, his friends in the paddock had met her before. but, a lot of people were going to see her in person for the first time after only listening to lando talk about her non-stop.

she was immediately loved by everyone she met, and lando felt pride running through him. he was also a little aroused. the love of his life fit so well with his work life, it made him love her more.

before he got in the car, she pressed a kiss to his helmet and whispered the words again, "sang pyaar rahe mein rahun na rahu,"

the words sounded beautiful, and a part of lando hated that it was associated with something so haunting.

when he won the race, he immediately ran to her, picking her up, as she celebrated with the rest of the team as well. his helmet wasn't even off, before he was hugging her and begging her to move in with him.

she had agreed, because of course, she had.

so, they moved in soon after the race. lando didn't let her do much of anything, insisting that him and the boys had it under control. the boys being max f, carlos, ginge, niran, max v, oscar, and george. how that group of friends came together? lando didn't know. all he knew was that he texted on his chat groups about needing help getting her all moved in, and people showed up at her apartment with coffee and food in their hand.

soon after she was properly moved in, the couple had to christen their home, of course. lando had loved every giggle, every moan, every whimper she had given him. he had savoured every one of them, because as happy as he was, the fear was still rooted in him that it might be the last time he would ever hear it.

there were some days when her health was a lot worse. some days when lando thought that she was right at doorstep of death. she always came back to him, and for that he was eternally grateful. she would make some silly comment and laugh and joke with him, as if they weren't in a hospital room and she didn't have multiple tubes attached to her.

he indulged in her coping mechanism. lando understood the need to add humour to serious situations. he knew that while she was comfortable with the idea that she was going to die soon, she was still scared. she hadn't spoken to him about it explicitly, maybe to spare his feelings. but he noticed, with the way she was slowly making plans for the future for him without her. he noticed, with the way she began speaking about other women, women who would come after her.

he hated it. hated that she was still thinking about how he would live after her, when honestly, he didn't think he would be living after her. he would just be surviving, and he would just be breathing for the sake of it.

they did fight sometimes. mostly on the days when she was feeling more insecure about herself. those were usually the days she would cry, sitting in the corner of a room, hiding away from him. but he found her, he always did.

in fact, it was during one of those fights when lando asked her to marry him.

"maybe we shouldn't be doing this,"

"do what, lovie?" he was patient, and in the back of his mind, he knew what she was talking about, but he refused to acknowledge it unless she came out and said it herself.

"this. us."

"and why is that?" his lovie was a logical person, he knew that. between the two of them, he was more emotional than she was. it was during times like these, when her logic seemed to be on vacation, and her emotions sat at the control centre in her brain full time that lando began logical.

"lando, i'm going to die!"

"i'm aware." his responses were pissing her off, he knew. it was deliberate, though. he'd rather she felt anger than sadness.

"lando!" she yelled at him.

sighing, lando faced her, crossing his arms across his chest, his ankles crossed as well.

"we've been over this, y/n, i'm not leaving." he said firmly.

"you should! save yourself! for fuck's sake, why are you with a dying person?"

"don't say that."

"don't say what? that i'm dying? newsflash, lando, i am dying! i'm playing pretend with you, i'm pretending that i'm not going to die, just like you do-"

"i don't pretend. i know you're going to-"

"it doesn't seem like it!"

"then, what do you want me to do? do you want me to scream and cry and only ever think about you dying? y/n, i'm constantly worried about you-"

"i don't want you to be-"

"yeah, well, that's not in your hands, now is it? i love you. i chose to love you before i knew about your condition, i chose to love you even after you told me about it. i am choosing you every second of every day because i fucking love you. and if you can't see that, then i can't help you!" they were both screaming now.

"then, stop choosing me!"

he froze.

she continued, "stop choosing me. live your life. you're 30 for god's sake, you spent half of your twenties taking care of me. it's enough. go out and party. meet women who are healthy and don't need breaks in between of sex! be with someone who can come to all of your races instead of just one! be with someone normal!"

"stop telling me to go out and live my life, for god's sake! i am living my life! why can't you see that? i am living my life, right here, with you, because this is how i want to live it! i don't want someone healthy or whatever, i want you! why can't you understand that?"

"you're wasting time-"

"i'm spending my time perfectly. i get to decide that. i get to decide what's a waste of time and what's not. just because you think i'm wasting my time being with you does not mean that it's true. it does not mean that i think the same as you."

"lando, i don't want you to regret ruining your twenties or your thirties for me! i'm replaceable! i'm going to die, and you will find someone else, someone better, and you're going to regret me!"

he took big steps, covering the distance between them. he grabbed her jaw with one hand, his other arm going around her waist.

"the only thing i'm regretting right now is making you feel like any part of me would ever think of replacing you. y/n y/l/n, get this drilled into your fucking head. i am going to marry you. i am going to marry you and i am going to give you everything you could ever want, material and otherwise. i love you. i. love. you. there's nothing i'm wasting or regretting. hell, i have the ring in the sock drawer right now. was gonna do it on our anniversary. not anymore."

she was crying. god, he hated when she cried.

"i'm going to put that ring on your finger right now, and then i'm going to remind just how much i love you any way you want. i am not leaving. i never wanted to, i never will. do you understand?"

she nodded, as much as she could with his hand on her jaw, keeping her in place, "i understand."

"good." lando kissed her hard, desperate for her.

before the kiss could turn into something else, lando turned and quickly walked to their bedroom, and then the walk in closet. pulling open the sock drawer, lando pulled out the ring box, and returned to where she was still standing.

dropping to his knee, he opened the ring box and presented it to her, "i don't care how long we have. i just know that i have now with you, and i want every nows that you're willing to give me. marry me, lovie?"

she was crying, and lando hoped that it was tears of joy.

"yes, i'll marry you," she whispered. lando slid the ring onto her finger, kissing the back of her hand.

"thank you," he said.

she laughed, still crying, "did you just thank me for saying yes?"

"hey, you were a fan of me before we met, you know i'm a pain in the ass when it comes to relationships. you agreeing to marry me just proves that someone went back in time, moved a chair somewhere,"

she laughed again, and lando wrapped his arms around her, pressing his face in her neck.

"i love you so much, lovie. i hate that you can't see it. i love you so so much," he whispered.

"i'm sorry i keep pushing you to leave me. i'm sorry i keep doing that. i love you so much too," she wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him close to her.

pulling back a little, lando kissed her. and again, and again, and again. their plan to immediately text all their friends and families had to wait until the next morning. they got a little busy, they're a young couple, people understand.

things changed after that. she changed after that. in a good way. she was happier, and had more energy.

lando loved seeing her like that. she had almost immediately began wedding planning, sitting with both families, asking his opinions on things.

she wanted to do an indian wedding, and so they decided to do the "western" wedding, as she called it, before, and during one of the breaks, they would do the indian one as well, since that required more time.

she went ring shopping for him, went flower shopping, pulled him along for cake tasting, talked his ear off about invitations and venues, and just about everything. and lando loved it. he listened intently, he responded quickly, he gave his opinions, smiling when she said no and continued to plan the way she wanted.

it was during one of her family's visit to monaco that his future mother in law had confessed to him, "she always wanted to get married. we didn't know if she would ever have that opportunity. thank you for loving our daughter, lando,"

if lando cried while he hugged her, that was between him and his future mother in law.

the wedding date was in three months, and the closer the date got, the more excited, and healthier she got. three months had been the longest that she had stayed out of hospital. lando was thanking every deity in the universe for taking care of her.

the invitations had gone out, she had a bachelorette party, he had a bachelor party, their parents spent more and more time together, the love of his life was happy. everything was falling into place. slowly, but surely.

a week before the wedding, everything was set. the table chart was perfect, the photographers and videographers were set. lando planned to announce that he was married with a landolog. she had her dress, he had his tuxedo. she was going to stay over at her friend's place the night before the wedding. everything was perfect.

maybe lando said that too soon.

two days before the wedding is when it all went down.

the day had started normal. the couple woke up in bed, cuddling. they also did a little more than cuddling, before getting ready for the day. they cooked breakfast together, chocolate chip pancakes, and danced to music playing from the bluetooth speaker.

it was when she stood up with the plates from the table that she began to feel dizzy.

"lovie? you okay?" lando asked, a hand on her back, concern all over his face.

"um, i'm just a little dizzy, i think," she said.

lando immediately got up from his place, taking the dishes from her hand, and settling them on the table again.

"babe, look at me," he instructed softly.

she did as he asked, but her head began spinning more, and she felt like she was going to throw up, and her body was hurting.

"hurts, everything hurts, lan,"

he'd done this hundreds of time in the past four years. he knew the process, he knew who to call, what to do, everything. but still, panic flooded through him. a bad, bad feeling settled in his gut, and he knew something was going to be horribly wrong.

sitting her down, lando ran to their bedroom, throwing a tshirt on, picking up the emergency hospital bag, and grabbed his car keys. going back, he gently picked her up. she was crying now, mumbling about how it was all hurting too much, and she didn't know how to stop it.

he drove way over the speed limit. whatever ticket he would get, he was fine with it. he didn't care at that moment. on his way, he called up his mom, letting her know that he was taking y/n to the hospital, and asked her to let her family know, and to let max and carlos know.

they immediately admitted her when he reached the hospital. they told him that she was in critical condition and that he wouldn't be allowed to see her. he begged, argued with them that he was her fiance, that they had to let him see her. the doctors refused, and lando ended up sitting in the waiting room, leg bouncing, his head in his hand, trying not to cry, not to lose hope.

their families had arrived quickly, along with max and carlos. they asked him what the doctor said, he repeated the message like a robot.

his mother sat on one side, and he immediately leaned his head on her shoulder. she was saying something. they were all saying something. but, he couldn't hear them. he couldn't hear them anything other than the blood rushing, other than his pounding heart.

it was after hours when the doctor finally came back, calling out her name. their big group stood up all at once, desperate to know whether their daughter, their sister, their friend, his fiance was okay or not.

before the doctor could say a word, lando knew. lando knew what had happened, lando knew. the grim face, the head shake. he said something, something like, "i'm sorry, we couldn't save her. her condition got way worse, and we just couldn't control it."

the doctor was saying words. her mother was wailing, her father and her brother trying to console her. someone ran out, her friend maybe. lando didn't know for sure. the doctor kept apologising.

he fell to the floor, his heart hurting, his head hurting. he was crying. maybe. he wasn't sure. he didn't know. maybe he was crying. maybe he was sobbing. maybe he was saying something. maybe maybe maybe. all he knew that max had his arms around him, and all he knew was that his father was saying something in his ear. carlos' hands were on his shoulders. they were all saying something, but lando didn't know. he didn't care.

she was gone. the love of his life was really gone. she had left him, just like she had told him that she would. she was gone, and he would never see her again, and he would never hold her again. he would never get to listen to her talk or laugh. he would never get to tease her, and he would never get to be with her again.

the doctor allowed them to see her. they went in groups. her family went in first, and then his. her friends then went, and then max and carlos. he went in last. why? he didn't know. probably because he knew that if he saw her, it would be too real for him.

and he was right.

seeing her in the hospital bed, with no tubes attached, he broke down again. he fell into the seat beside her bed, gripping her hand, just like he had the first time he found out about her condition.

"don't leave me, lovie. please. come back to me. come back home. don't leave me, im begging you, please, y/n, please, please, come back home." he cried.

he wanted her to open her eyes. he wanted her to wake up and tell him that she was fine. he wanted her to hug him and let him know that everything was going to be okay. he wanted her, he wanted her, he wanted her.

lando didn't know how long he sat there, numb and crying, staring at the love of his life's face. the face that would never cheer for him again, the face that would never let him know what she was thinking. the face that he wouldn't see at the end of the alter anymore.

eventually, someone came in, and took him away. he didn't know who. they told him that her parents were discussing the funeral and making plans. they told him that her parents were going to do it according to their rituals, and lando had the option to participate in it.

nothing made sense to him.

their wedding day, the day that she had worked so hard for it to be perfect and to be everything the couple ever dreamed it would be, became the day of her funeral.

the happiest day of his life became the worst day.

they went ahead with the indian rituals. her body was dressed in white, along with everyone present there. her body was kept on logs, and she was covered with it too.

there was an indian priest, reciting something. lando didn't hear. he stood alone towards the front, staring blankly at where her body lay. her brother was holding a log, with the top of it covered in a cloth and was on fire.

the priest said something, and her brother went around, lighting the log bed on fire. when he had done it from all sides, he kept the log on top, slowly watching as it all burned.

as she burned.

lando wanted to jump in the fire. he wanted to jump in the fire and go with her, wherever she was going. he wanted to jump in the fire and die with her, because he couldn't live in a world where she wasn't living.

a hand was on his shoulder, and lando heard her father, "thank you for loving my daughter, lando. thank you for making her happy."

"she wanted to get married. i couldn't give her that." he said, almost monotonously.

her father chuckled sadly, "i remember talking to her the day she moved in with you. said that the two of you were like an old married couple. reminded her of her grandparents and how in love they were,"

lando smiled sadly.

"don't lose touch, son. you are still family. we'd hate to lose our son-in-law too,"

lando cried silently. he didn't know how to stop.

"this was the ring she was going to give you today." her father said, opening his palm to present a thick silver ring with small diamonds all around. it was a simple ring. it was his style too.

lando hesitantly picked up the ring, looking at it. there was an engraving on the inside, and lando realised that the words were written in hindi.

"can i ask you something?"

"sure, son,"

"what does the inside say?"

her father took the ring and checked, before saying, "sang pyaar rahe mein rahun na rahu,"

lando recognised those words.

"she said it to me a lot. before every race, every time she ended up in the hospital, any time that i was away from her, she said it to me. never told me what it meant. she just told me to look it up after she was gone." lando whispered.

"sang pyaar rahe mein rahun na rahu. it means that my love will stay with you, regardless of whether i'm there or not."

the words echoed in his mind. they were true. her love would stay with him till his last breath, whether she would or not.

he grieved all the time after that.

how could he not?

he had to continue to train, to race, even when he didn't feel like getting out of bed. he had to continue to fight in a championship, even when he didn't care about it.

his team, team principal, zak, oscar, almost every driver on the grid who he had been racing with for years, were worried about him. how could they not be.

lando barely smiled. barely spoke anymore. he trained, raced, went back home. there was no light in him anymore, no spark.

of course, the media, the other team principals weren't aware of the major shift in lando's life. they used his grief as a weapon against him. said the same things they had said the year he won for the first time. said the same things, that he was mentally weak, and whatnot.

lando didn't care. he didn't care about anything anymore. he didn't care about his helmets, or about streaming, or even about quadrant. he didn't care about racing anymore.

he'd heard whispers amongst his team that they were worried he would do something hasty on track and severely injure himself. he heard the questions from the media to oscar and andrea and zak about replacing lando, now that he just wasn't good enough and was past his prime.

it was funny they said that, because he was still winning races. he was still winning races or getting on podium. he just wasn't happy. he wasn't happy or satisfied, because every time he looked at the crowd, he looked for her face and she wasn't there.

the fans, the media, they all speculated about the wedding ring on his finger. they all questioned and made fun of the fact that he was so depressed after getting married, he had clearly made a mistake. they laughed, and their laughter was cruel. but lando hadn't said anything. he didn't know why. he just couldn't.

it was when max had moved back in with lando and was streaming one day that the world found out about the bitter truth. it was max who had finally revealed to the world, months after, that lando needed someone to take care of him, because he was grieving. he was grieving the loss of the woman he loved so much.

lando had thanked max the next day. thanked him for telling the world what he couldn't because he didn't want it to be true. he had cried that day, thanking max through his tears for taking the initiative and doing what he couldn't.

max had only repeated the words she said, "her love will stay with you regardless of whether she's here or not,"

lando knew that. he believed that.

her love would stay with him till he died, regardless of where she was here or not.

.・。.・゜✭・❤・✫・゜・。.

lemme know if y'all liked this! thank you for reading it! this is my prompt list, so y'all can select a number, give me a driver and i will write it as soon as possible! i also have a google form for a taglist if anyone's interested! you can sent in your requests here :)

taglist: @maketheshadowsfearyou ; @anamiad00msday

i'd love your support! https://ko-fi.com/kavi2305

[daxisyzz]

I keep thinking Diamond Boy by SZA could be the basis for a great Bucky fic, if for no other reason than the lines "You make my thoughts stop/You make being me less hard" are SO Bucky coded

And I'm also obsessed with the Deluxe SOS and listening to it in my car on my commute every day

BUT I feel like you could do something sweet and fluffy with it that I would love to see!

Hope you like it<3 lemme know

Diamond Boy

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You don’t know how to explain it, but around Bucky, everything inside you quiets. At 2 a.m. by the pool, you finally let yourself lean into it.

Word count: 708

Warnings and tags: kinda song fic, comfort, feeling safe with Bucky, fluff, talks about no sleep, he makes you feel yourself.

The compound is quiet at night.

You like it best that way—when the lights dim and the weight of the world slips off your shoulders for just a moment. The chaos fades. Everyone else is asleep, or at least pretending to be. But you… you’re out here again. Barefoot, wearing a comfy hoodie and shorts, legs swinging over the edge of the pool.

The water glows soft blue under the surface lights, and the cool air kisses your skin in a way that makes you feel like maybe, maybe—you’ll be okay.

You close your eyes and lean back on your palms, letting your head tilt up to the sky. The stars are out tonight. Not that you’re really looking.

You don’t hear him at first. Just the shift of weight on concrete. The soft sound of water sloshing.

Then: “You always sit out here this late?”

You don’t startle. You knew he’d come. He always does.

“Only when I can’t sleep,” you say, turning just enough to see him in your periphery.

Bucky. Loose gray sweatpants, black T-shirt clinging to him like it missed his jacket. His metal arm glints faintly in the moonlight. His eyes—not blue like water, but like winter air—land on yours and don’t waver.

He joins you without another word, settling beside you on the edge of the pool with a quiet groan as his muscles stretch.

You like this part. When he doesn’t ask questions. When he just is. The silence that settles between you isn’t heavy. It never is with him. It’s full, somehow. It feels like… being seen without needing to explain anything.

“You couldn’t sleep either?” you ask, after a long minute.

He shrugs. “Didn’t want to be in my head.”

Yeah. You get that.

You glance at him, and even in the low light, you can see it—he’s tired. Not just physically. It’s in his eyes, in his posture, in the way he rolls his shoulders like he’s trying to loosen more than tension. Like he’s trying to breathe a little easier. You know that feeling.

“I like this,” you say softly. “Being here. With you.”

He looks at you again, this time with a flicker of something warmer.

“Feels… real,” you add. “Like the rest of the world shuts up when we’re out here.”

Bucky’s gaze lingers. “I like it too.”

There’s a pause. Then:

“You don’t talk like this with anyone else,” he says.

You chuckle, self-conscious. “You make it easier.”

He tilts his head. “What do you mean?”

Your throat tightens slightly, but you speak anyway. “You make being me less hard.”

His brow furrows. Not with confusion—with care.

You keep going, barely above a whisper now. “All day, I’m bracing. For the next task, the next reaction, the next expectation. Even when no one’s asking anything, I feel like I’m carrying everything. But when I’m with you…”

You look at him fully now. “You’re the only person I don’t feel like I have to earn peace from.”

Bucky doesn’t speak for a moment. His face softens in a way that makes your chest ache.

“I didn’t know anyone thought of me like that,” he says quietly.

You reach out without thinking, your fingers brushing his metal wrist gently. He doesn’t flinch.

“You don’t have to try so hard either, you know.”

He exhales—like he’s been holding his breath all night—and shifts just enough that your knees bump. He lets his hand slide over yours, linking your fingers, thumb sweeping over your knuckle slowly.

“Whenever I think it’s all too much,” he murmurs, “I end up looking for you.”

Your heart skips. You don’t know what to say to that. But maybe you don’t have to. Maybe sitting here, leaning into each other with the world asleep around you, says everything.

You rest your head on his shoulder. He presses a soft kiss to the top of it.

You don’t say anything else.

You don’t need to ask what this is or where it’s going.

It’s enough—this late-night softness, this shared quiet.

And for the first time in a long time, being you doesn’t feel like a burden.

Because Bucky’s here. And in this after-hours stillness, everything that hurts fades just enough to let you breathe again.

[elliesglock]

CRUMBL COOKIE LIVE ANALYSIS :

okay so boom this was one of my most popular analysis before i fucked myself so enjoy everybody!

so you have to skip ahead a little bit because azzi isn't in the live from the start she's actually wanting to die over her accounting homework for some of it so she couldn't join until later. 11:31 is when azzi joins the live. so honestly i have a tiny theory about something before we jump into the full live. before this, paige is kinda on high alert and staring at the door continuously before azzi comes in. my theory is maybeeeee azzi texted her about struggling with her accounting homework and p boogs was trying to find a way out to go help her/comfort her. ORRRR azzi texted p saying im coming up soon or she was gonna be there soon and that's why p keeps looking at the door every so often cause she so ready for her girl to come she keep hallucinating footsteps. okay sorry just a theory.

11:31 before anybody else, paige already sees azzi coming in. even before kk yells her name, like she's literally being hidden behind yanna and paige's girlfriend senses start tingling and she knows her girl in the room and looks at her. she's been looking at her for a solid 5 secs before kk even goes, "OMG ITS AZZI FUDD!!!!". i just find it so cute cause she can literally sniff her girl out of anywhereeeeee. 11:35 paige and azzi make eye contact and it's almost like paige understands immediately something is up because she points at the camera to say they're live. she probs knows just from azzi's body language that she's upset about something and maybe thinks she's gonna go in for a hug or a cuddle. that's my personal opinion cause she points at the live to warm azzi for no good reason other than she was a little scared azzi might come get some lovin from her girl. but she kinda lets it go and giggles while kk wails azzi's name. but i think she can already tell before anyone else that azzi is maybe a little overstimulated/needing some comfort. that's what so interesting about paige. she is ALWAYS dialed in when azzi's in the room, her demeanor from before azzi comes in to after is a compete 180. before azzi comes in she's like giggling and joking, and then when azzi's comes in she's dialed in on her and concerned about her and what's going on. i'm telling u she don't play about her girl or her feelings. when azzi's in the room u might as well shut the hell up cause p ain't listening to u. she's displaying a little bit of concern and has already kinda turned off that goofiness to focus on what's more important, ie her girl coming into the room not smiling. even when azzi falls down on the bed paige's body almost instinctively tries to go after her. like she stops sitting on the tv stand and is almost leaning her whole body to get closer to azzi. and it's def second nature. it's not she's adjusting or something as soon as azzi lies on the bed and seems a little overwhelmed, she almost does her normal bodyguard duties and gets up to hold her girl like she would if the cameras off. 11:45 paige doesn't get super serious until kk offers azzi a cookie and azzi goes noooo! even kk seems a little unfamiliar with how she's presenting. paige gets real serious and her tone of voice when she asks, "what happened?" is just. yall. like. i'm wet. her tone is very not fucking around and she's not playing. she wants to know what's got her girl sad and she wanna know nowwww. all fun and games off the table when her girl don't want a sweet treat cause azzi LOVES a sweet treat. i also love how even though everybody's asking her what's wrong, she don't say anything until paige asks what happened. like ahhh her protectors here lemme vent to her. so we find out poor baby azzi is having some issues with her accounting homework. 11:48 she asks kk if she can ask the live if anyone can tutor in accounting. and kk kinda hears here but is focused on something else but big p ain't letting it slide. she's like da fuck?? almost and taps kk to ask the live. sheeeee notttt playingggggg. this live honestly is a great way to see how much paige can be a protector and a representation of comfort for azzi because she immediately gets strict asf when azzi's upset. she even gets a little annoyed w kk cause she says something else instead of doing what her girl asked. and her face when she turns around and we see her in the camera. LORDDDDDD. it's never been a joke. i'm sorry big daddy I MEAN PAIGE. i'll help yo girl in accounting shit please don't stab me. that's what her face is giving. ion even know accounting and i'm about to help azzi with her homework from the way she looking at us.

like damn bitch??

12:10

so after kk do what big mama say, she makes a little joke saying "this should be good." poking fun at how kk's dms gon be looking crazy from people dming her weird stuff from now on. azzi and a few others laugh at this and she seems so much lighter after she makes azzi laugh. like ahhh my girl is laughing at my jokes i made her feel betterrrr. which is the ultimate plan in paige's eyes everyday you know. everyday is a mission on how to be the best girlfriend and how to accomplish making my girl feel like the most important girl in the world. i think she's been doing a pretty good job for a while now yall. again, with paige being the representative of comfort for azzi, we know why azzi feels this way. because paige will do anything to make her smile when she's sad and will always be the first one to light up when she's happy. LOVE in its purest form yall. 12:27 azzi kinda stands up for a second and paige being paige is back on high alert cause she LITERALLY watches her every move as soon as she stands up. like her eyes immediately zone in on her as soon as she stands up. she's searching azzi's face and body with her eyes to see if there's anything she can do to help almost cause azzi seems a little confused after she stands up. and i think if the cameras were off she would've walked over and had az come sit with her for a second so she could listen to her when she tells her what's wrong. i think it bothers her a bit in this live she can't do that. we know paige is very much the type of person who doesn't like to wait and doesn't like being held back from something, especially regarding her girl. remember earlier when i mentioned how p completely zones in on azzi when she walks into a room well kk asks her to get a fork and she goes up to get one and then comes back when she hears azzi ask what one of the cookies are. she's veryyyy zoned in on her. i think she knows she already doesn't like she can't comfort her when she wants to cause the live is on, so she ain't gonna go further and leave the room while her girls starting to perk up a little bit you know. p is ALWAYS observant of everything azzi does and i think she can read her like a book. they've been together for so many years that's not shocking. further more, she even sits down when azzi continues talking cause she knows the forks aren't more important than whatever azzi is asking/saying right now. okay lover girlllll. 12:57 azzi asks if she can try the peanut butter cookie and kk says girl boo while she's handing it to her. now honestly i can't tell what paige's facial expression in this moment means but she gives kk a kinda side eye and a "mm" noise like she's like be careful now. but i have had anons theorize its because kk is not using girl boo right when she gets on everybody else about using it right you know lol. idk her facial expression and the way she acting is like oo u tryna make my girl laugh rn or sum? but that might just be me being delusional as always. azzi says one of the chocolate chip cookies sound lame and paige gives her this sassy little p face that would def get her in trouble if azzi was full on looking at her at that moment but we let it slide. and then in the next couple moments p is just having a full on STARING CONTEST while azzi eats these cookies. like she is not letting up on that eye contact. and i think it's partially to see if she likes it but i also think it's another checking on her/admiring her kind of thing. she's got her in her view and azzi is focused on something else so you know damn well she's gonna keep an eye on her and finally get a good look to see if her girls doing alright, instead of glancing over like she's been doing. 13:23 now idk if i'm hearing things but kk almost kinda sees her staring at turns around jokingly and says "oo are you hungry?" and yes it can be interpreted as kk just asking if paige is hungry for another cookie but it sounds lowkey like that tone they use with an inside/teasing joke. she like damn girl look at u looking at her like that u hungry or sum?

15:03

so, jana is talking about sharing a bite with paige and paige says "yeah im all set" and then jana says "okay imma share it with azzi" and that perks paige's ears up. and she kinda looks between them and is like "oh you and azzi?" almost like she's saying yeah we don't share unless it's me and her and she not sharing tonight lemme tell you. she not playing w these underclassmennnnn. she's like nah my girl is set too thank yewwww! i love sassy p she really holds nothing back unless she's about to get grounded by azzi.

and that's about it basically lol. azzi kinda goes silent cause she's stealing jana's fries and paige is doing her gay adhd shit in the living room with her cartwheels. honestly i love watching this whole live through not just for the pazzi moments but paige looking good everybody looking gooddddd andddd they funny too. hope you guys enjoyed and im going to bed thank yallllll! love u 😛💕

[dzvelinaskebiyars]

Wooin Yoo's analysis

After seeing tons of people misunderstanding his character and making him out to be worst person alive, I decided to take the matters in my hands and post an analysis. I'd be more than delighted if this will help to understand his character better because I'm also using this analysis to debunk some claims against Wooin Yoo.

Wooin Yoo appears to be playful and friendly person, at least that's how he portrays himself to strangers. He tends to hide his true intentions behind the mask he puts on. At first glance, he seems sincere but his words often carry the hint of mischief and mockery. He's skilled in provoking people - of course intentionally - he seems to kind of enjoy the reactions caused by his words and he's written to be shameless character, regularly acting a bit too casual. Whenever he, himself, is being provoked, he manages to remain calm, rational and controls his frustration very well, that is unless people pushes his buttons. We've seen him being quite aggressive and violent, he also gets frustrated when things don't go along with his plans. He also gets annoyed when he's being ignored -

For example, when he greeted Monster but got ignored, Wooin clearly got frustrated but let it go afterwards. He couldn't hide his dislike though.

Despite these questionable traits, Wooin seems pretty friendly and comfortable with his friends - Joker and Hyuk specifically. I mentioned how Wooin gets annoyed when things don't go along with his plans and sometimes even gets violent, but that's never the case when it comes to his friends. In the webtoon series, Joker and Hyuk don't listen to him quite often or follow his plans but he doesn't get violent with them. Frustrated? Yes. Violent or lashes out like he does with others? Definitely not. In fact, I'd say that Hyuk and Joker get free pass to frustrate him and be perfectly fine whatsoever. Same goes to ignoring. I think in 522(?) chapter, he talks about finals yet gets interrupted by Hyuk, who asks if anyone wants a drink, then Joker joins in - they basically ignored what Wooin was saying but guess what Wooin did? That's right, nothing. He just scratched his head and posed a question. Nothing else. I'm emphasizing this so much because I'm using this analysis as a way to prove some people wrong that have very bad view of Wooin to the point of misunderstanding him. Like I saw someone straight up saying that he'd be cold to his own friends too, which is wrong. Wooin hates being lonely or alone, hence why we see him hanging out with his friends often, it usually being Joker or/and Hyuk. He sure as hell is not going to treat his friends like piece of shits while constantly hanging out with them and deeply despising solitude.

How do I know that Wooin dislikes solitude? Well, lemme focus on specific interaction between Joker and Wooin, where Joker mentions how lonely the puppy must have felt and how lonely it'd be if Joker just left it. Wooin, for once, has different type of expression that we don't see of him often. Those words just stirred something in Wooin and he remembered how lonely he used to be in almost dark room with nothing but small, single window.

His backstory yet have to be revealed but I can analyse the entire picture right here. The room Wooin is in seems very simple, has nothing else other than chair, desk, shelves and books, one picture and one window, which is the only source of light in the room. Wooin is sitting in the middle, facing the window while open book is posed in front of him. But no, he's not looking at the book, he's not reading anymore. He's looking at the only source of light in his room that comes from outside, as if he's dreaming about something, going outside, having fun with his friends, being free. But no, rather he's feeling incredibly lonely and solitude is gnawing at his bones. This scene was supposed to show just how much he hates loneliness. Ironic, isn't it? He's always with someone and has lot of connections that you'd think he's never alone but who would have thought that a person like that has suffered from solitude before? And that he's trying to cope and kill that solitude by almost always being with his friends. It makes sense because most of the time we saw Wooin hanging out with his friends, they weren't really doing anything but keeping each other company. For example, in part 4 episode 86, Wooin is just on his phone while Joker eats an apple and they're not interacting until Sangho sends Wooin a message. There's more scenes like that, for example, Joker just sleeping in Wooin's car and nothing else. But still, the presence of someone is enough for Wooin.

"He doesn't really care about his friends tho" right, a man who gave up on being professional cyclist receiving professional training and his bright future for his friend, Hyuk, just to create the crew where Hyuk could freely ride just how he wanted without being judged, just so the two of them could ride together again, this man doesn't care about his friends, right? This man who apologized to Sangho after Joker messed up when he didn't have to be the one apologizing at all or when Joker angered Juhwan and Wooin tried to fix the issue Joker caused - again, he didn't have to - is a man who doesn't care about his friends. Right, a man who accepted Vinny as a friend and treats him so well in Sabbath, right? A man who covered for his friends when they messed up what Sangho requested them, right? Right. How uncaring of him.

Now let's talk about the recent glance at his backstory, where Wooin talks about how he gave up being acknowledged by anyone. Because he has tried many, many, many times but only kept getting labelled as "useless"

The unknown man speaks lowly of Wooin, this man is someone he wanted acknowledgement from but he never got it. The man seems rich, maybe the ceo of some company but he surely has lots of authority. So far, we can assume him to be Wooin's father, also to note the fact that this is happening in the house, Wooin's room. It seems Wooin wanted to be acknowledged so badly by this man but ended up being disappointment probably for quite lot times. The signs of Wooin being victim are visible in the chapter:

The room is messy, there's golf's stick, cigarettes on the ground - they're messy too, broken what seems to be a cup, broken phone and books scattered around in the corner. On top of it, Wooin is tied up and beaten up to the point of bleeding. Obviously he's victim when he ends up like this + locked up when he only ever wanted to make the man proud, for him to be acknowledged. Then Wooin proceeds to say how he gave up on being acknowledged by anyone ages ago.

There's a lot we don't know about him but we'll probably learn more soon enough.

[moodymisty]

The words “blood hungry Sanguinius” in your announcement post activated all of my neurons at once. Anyway request time, lemme lay the scene. Sanguinius is in an established relationship, she’s a diplomat or his seneschal, somebody of great importance to him both personally and professionally. The planet they’re currently Crusading™ has put up enough of a fight to be troublesome but peace talks are finally happening, which our dear angel’s beloved is the head of. Except not everybody wants peace. Sanguinius has been waging war on this planet, not everybody is gonna be a fan but people also aren’t stupid enough to just pick a direct fight with the 10ft tall dude who could chuck a spear into space. So they aim smaller, where they know it’ll still hurt. An assassination attempt is made on his beloved. It fails, mind you, but it was too close for comfort. She was hurt and suddenly the great angel isn’t feeling so angelic. He wants cathartic visceral payback and his sons couldn’t agree more. Now that kind of adrenaline-fueled murder rampage will get anybody’s blood pumping so once he gets back he’s headed straight for their room. Obviously he’s relieved that she’s fine, patched up and everything at this point but she still smells like blood and sweat and he just desperately needs to know she’s okay. Needs to hear her voice crying out for him rather than in pain, feel her pulse against his lips. Needs to lick the blood off her. It’s precious after all, he’d hate for it to go to waste (and crucially of course he has to erase the traces of that attack, only he is allowed to draw blood from his beloved, nobody else gets to do that and live)

Do with these brain worms what you will, Misty. Go nuts ❤️

[ 𝕸𝖔𝖔𝖉𝖞𝕸𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖞'𝖘 𝕸𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙 | 𝕬𝖔3 ]

Author’s note: Thank you for the fucking FOOD, friend. I hope you enjoy it, I tweaked a tiny bit just to make it flow better in my head because it was going to keep getting longer if I didn’t stop send help

Relationships: Sanguinius/Fem!Reader

Warnings: NSFW, semi-graphic depictions of violence in the beginning, Blood drinking/licking/vampirey stuff, fingering, If you squinted you could consider this dubious consent because making out after a near death experience probably isn’t the best trauma response but it’s 40k so whatever, Slightly Yandere Sanguinus also to be honest

Sanguinus lets his perfect veneer fade for a moment, as he drifts off into thought. Tactical planning and logistics fade into the background, but Sanguinus can still comprehend it all and join back in a moment without anyone noticing.

She’s asleep right now, oh how I wish I could join her.

After a tense few weeks of failed diplomacy and eventual war, you needed rest; While Sanguinus needs such a thing much more rarely, he still wishes to join you. This whole debacle has been little more than aggravating to him.

While he is used to waging war like this, he knows you took this failed diplomacy as a failure for yourself. You’re still new to this, he knows it’ll fade with time but he wishes he could at least comfort you for a little while.

Though, this whole crusade has been less than what you all expected. Fierce electrical storms have made teleporting or even using Thunderhawks or smaller landers from the Red Tear to planet-side dangerous, so they’ve set up temporary base on solid ground while the war effort continues.

He hates the feeling of it; The nature of it being less secure. He knows you’re surrounded by Astartes, but these walls are old and they don’t know the landscape, or if this old fortress has anywhere to hide. This isn't their home territory, the safety of the cold, metal walls of the Red Tear and it's sister ship-

The door suddenly barges open, and in rush two blood Angels who's armor screeches as they freeze to a halt. It manages to startle Sanguinius somewhat, as his wings shift close to his body.

“Lord Sanguinus! Someone is attacking Our Lady!”

The sentence brings him to high alert even before they finish speaking and he’s already pushing past them to make his way towards you. He barely even notices the title they used for you, one that has only been said a handful of times as they slowly became used to your presence beside him.

Sanguinus is out of his armor at the moment, a rare time for him to stretch his wings and back after being in it for nearly a week straight, and the lessened weight makes his strides even faster as he races to you. His wings are tight to his body to avoid hitting anything or catching drag, and he hears the sound of bolters and ceramite plates crashing into weaker armor. He had them guarding the room at all hours, and as such was able to get alerted to the assassins- he assumes by their dark regalia and deftness- instantly.

“I want at least one alive! I want to know how they got past our perimeter!”

The first intruder he catches sight of has their shoulder blown away by a bolter shell before they could comprehend Sanguinus’ orders, and the second gets grabbed by an Astartes and yells in pain at the audible crack of bone. The third Sanguinus notices behind him and he batters him with the end of his wing, and an Astartes manages to obtain him by grabbing his neck. No matter how skilled they were, they stand absolutely no match to his sons. Even their advantage of surprise offered them nothing in the end.

Sanguinius eventually snags the last one and hands the wretch to his sons, and the lot are carried away.

They might be alive now, but once Sanguinus gets what he wants from them, they’ll wish they weren’t. Especially after he looks towards you.

Your sitting on the floor leaned against the wall, arms tight to yourself. He can see your thin nightdress is stained with blood at the neckline, and your arms also have small bits of blood. Your cheek has a small gash that’s growing a bruise around it, like it’s from a punch or slap.

You have an Astartes combat knife in your hands, blood soaking the blade. He knows you put up a fight despite the odds. It was probably you that alerted his sons.

He can hear them communicating amongst themselves, making sure the room and perimeter are clear. The assassins are removed and will probably get prodded around in by a curious techpriest in the future. He knew that a forward base such as this was a dangerous idea, and this only further cements it. Despite the meteorological issues.

Though his thoughts are on less immediate things, now that he knows you’re safe. His clears his throat slightly but the motion does nothing to distract him.

Something Sanguinius had learned in his younger years was that all blood is different; In taste, smell. Some of it is superior to others in those ways.

As while the room is soaked in blood, he can only smell yours.

“All of you check everywhere for any others. Leave us alone unless I call.”

The Blood Angels present hesitate to move, and their lieutenant speaks why. His helmet rests in his hands.

“Should we not stay to keep you both-“ Sanguinus turns to him and his voice is firm and unwavering.

“Go.”

The captain almost seems surprised, before placing his helmet back on. His men dip their heads for a moment and leave, closing the door and leaving the two of you alone.

The Primarch comes closer, lowering to his knee in front of you.

“You’re not hurt?” His hands grasp your shoulders, and you shake your head.

“No. Not badly enough to complain about at least.” Sanguinus lets out an audible sigh of relief.

He moves to let you stand, offering a hand you take for a moment. You move away to look into a mirror and splash some water on your face, wiping the blood away from it. It does nothing to cut the scent overwhelming the air that only he can parse.

“I’ve sent them to figure out how those men got in, and if there’s more.” You look up at him, before bending down to pick up one of his fallen feathers. He lost a few in the battle, as he does all the time. The Red Tear also has many strewn about in the places he frequents. You hold it in your hand and brush along the quill shaft, smoothing it. It’s a habit you’ve developed.

“Shouldn’t you go with them?” Sanguinus furrows his brow, confused.

“I want to stay with you, so I know you’re safe. And that you feel safe.”

The way you look up at him is worried; What could you possibly be worried about right now besides yourself? You were the one who was almost killed, because he was ignorant enough to bring you here, selfish because of his desire to keep you at his side. He kneels close to you, and tries to hold his breath as his mouth waters.

“What is it, my love?”

You look at him and continue holding his feather, seeing the way his eyes leer at you. You’ve seen it before, and it’s obvious why.

“Sanguinus, you’re hungry.”

How well you already know him, even after such a short period of time.

He gently cups a hand to the side of your face, before leaning inward.

“I’m sorry my love, I can’t help it, you’re like my own personal wine.”

His lips brush across your own, and he can suddenly taste the tiny droplet of blood from where your lip had split. You eagerly return his kiss and the desperation has you gripping him like a lifeline, as if your mind is finally catching up with what’s happened. He eagerly holds you back, his massive hands cupping your waist and swallowing most of it.

Before you know it, he has you in his arms, and he gently drops you onto the bed. It creaks and groans under the weight of him, but you’re little more than a feather to it.

He can see the cut across your collarbone; They must’ve tried to put a knife to your throat, and cut along below it instead. Your heart beat rushes just underneath it.

“Let me help you forget all of this ever happened,”

He whispers, half lost on the smell of your blood. You still feel almost stunned, like everything is a dream, but you’d never refuse him with how safe you always feel in his arms.

Sanguinus’ hands drift up your nightdress until it’s off of you, the stained fabric getting tossed aside.

He leans down to drag his lips along the cut of your collarbone, tongue sweeping away any traces of blood. The droplets that ran down your sternum get wisked away as well, his tongue traveling between your breasts.

He would hate to see it be wasted. The ones who spilled it and attempted to do worse will spill their secrets, and suffer for what they’ve done.

He’ll keep his head turned if they end up bloodless as well. His sons can sate their appetites on them and he’ll mind little.

Meanwhile you writhe underneath him, a hand on your shoulder holding you down while the other presses down close to your hip. Your free hand grasps at him, nails digging into his skin. He hears you saying his name, whispering it like a prayer, but he can barely hear it over the sound of your heart in his ears.

He can stay under control, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t test his willpower.

He loves to call you his wine; Though in some ways it’s almost as if you’re a drug he can never allow himself to have too much of, lest he get lost in it.

His left hand drifts closer and brushes over your hip, his massive palm dwarfing your smaller body. His fingers push between your thighs with ease, and he slips his fingers into your folds and hears the way you whimper at the soft touch. It isn’t long before they press against your entrance and slowly he teases one inside, before slipping in another once he’s readied you enough for it.

He feels the heat of your body as he presses his hand against you, all the while his face never leaves your neck. It’s an awkward angle for him at his overwhelming height, but he makes it work. His teeth ever so gently scrape across the pulsing vein of your neck where old scars from him lie, and he feels the way you shiver.

His fingers curl inside of you as his lips press hard against your neck, tasting every last little bit of blood until your skin is clear apart from the thin sliver of red.

He leans away and presses his lips to yours again, catching your bottom lip between his own. The cut on your lip had just stopped bleeding but his rougher kiss aggregates it enough to make it bleed just a tiny bit more, and you moan into his mouth as he tastes it.

Your hand desperately grasps at his own pressing against your shoulder, trying to grip his fingers and keep you grounded. He loves the way you writhe underneath him, earlier events completely forgotten.

He pulls way from your lips with a soft pop and his hot breath returns to your neck.

He wants to bite it so badly. It’s tormenting him, eating at him. But then he feels when he finally reach your peak, tightening around him and crying out to him in pleasure and not pain. It’s like music to his ears, after hearing your heart race so much in fear barely hours ago. To hear you call his name not to save you but to have him make you feel like this.

He pulls his lips away from your neck as you catch your breath. Another time.

His wings droop slightly, though even folded they take up so much space, shadowing so much more than just your body. They drop even more, and it almost feels like he’s trying to surround you with them and his body.

He gently pulls his hand from your folds but you feel his finger brush against your inner thigh, and the corners of his mouth twitch as you shiver and tense.

“I will never allow your life to ever be threatened again,”

He says, a part inside of him fuming at the fact it happened to begin with. He shouldn’t have been so presumptuous, careless, though deeper down he knows he did everything he could. He’ll do more now. His sons are becoming used to you, accepting of you, they’ll do it with no complaints.

You look up at him with soft, shining skin; Lips swollen. He wishes he could stay for longer, and take advantage of his time without his armor.

“Just don’t worry yourself into dropping feathers,” You joke and smile, voice slightly hoarse. He can still hear your heartbeat racing in his ears, but it’s calming down as you lay underneath him.

Sanguinus laughs and presses a kiss to the tip of your nose. He swallows down his only partly sated hunger for another time.

“I’ll try not to.”

[pryllee]

7 minutes in heaven, or 7 hours.

Blade x AFAB! Reader

Dubcon, stomach bulge, kinda degradation/praise kink, slight mean blade with a sprinkle of softheartedness, cunnilungus/fingering, riding, jealous reader, kinda jealous blade ”ugly body” rejections whatever mentioned in start, hickeys/marking, tit sucking, bit of possessiveness in both so the feeling can be mutual, small breeding kink mention

A/N: I get pretty awkward and cringey while trying to write fuck parts so I hope anyone who reads this finds this good. And maybe I'll make HCs with him taking care of a child next time... If anyone wants that. 🥲

—

As depressed you already were, it already sucked even more with each rejection that slapped you at the face. You slammed the can of alcohol onto the table as Blade just watched leaning his head onto the wall.

"Ugh these fuckin' asses..." You held onto your head annoyed as hell,

"You know, we should be heading back now." He scanned you, before looking away again to try avoid your ’fiery fists’

You complained, slamming a fist onto the table almost making it break. "Oh c'mon don't make it worse than it already is! These idiots have the nerve to call my body unattractive, they might've just had atleast one more kiss before they died, no? Not like they were any better..." Silently whispering the last part.

Your brows furrowed noticing him staring off into the distance, probably at someone. You tried to find the direction he was looking in, and found a pretty girl almost your height, but her curves really showed through that waitress uniform.

A small ’oh’ of disappointment almost escaped your lips, making your eye twitch. "Maybe your right. Lets go." You grabbed the can with half of alcohol left.

Your walking almost felt like you were stomping leaving Blade barely confused, more like unfazed as he found this normal.

—

You noticed the place felt a little lonely, you didn't hear much till you advanced inside further and noticed some of the stellaron hunters and probably new recruits due to some unfamiliar faces along with Kafka on the side and Silverwolf. "Hi, [ Y/N ]. Nice to see you've brought Blade along with you." Kafka smiled as Silverwolf blew gum up, tapping away on her gaming console.

"Whats going on? They playin' spin the bottle?" You pointed drunkly with drool almost oozing out of your mouth. "Hmm...—seven minutes in heaven or whatever." She waved her hand as her back leaned against a pillar.

What is with these people leaning against shit? Just how disinterested really are they?

"Lemme participate." You spoke as you squeezed in a spot in the circle pushing some people aside joining the weird circle formation that felt like a cult. "What about you, Bladie? Won't you join her too?"

"Not interested. I don't really care about those type of feelings." He was about to walk away in the way both of you came, till Kafka offered him something.

"Hmm, I'm sure Silverwolf can secure you some time with her?" Pointing at her as he noticed a little wheel thing that controlled the bottle. "Unless you want her to give herself up to someone else, that is."

He clenched a fist tightly, loosening it quickly as he just also squeezed in a spot opposite of where you are.

He watched the previous can you held be thrown away assuming you already finished it or didn't and just hated the taste now. As the bottle kept spinning for some time, you wondered when it would land on you and choose a decent looking dude. Till it finally did. But then landed on Blade.

Your expression of happiness quickly went away realizing who else it landed on, would he even want to do spicy with you? If anything he'd probably rather do it with that stupid girl he stared at earlier. Maybe I should kill her. Whoops, thoughts got a little offtrack there.

The person on your right was nudging your shoulder to follow Blade in, as you quickly took a glance at Kafka feeling like something was up. And you were right cause something really was up. You followed him in, as he locked the door behind you both.

"So what do we do? Play cards? Or should we find that girls number?" You scoffed in annoyance wondering how the fuck you both even got paired up. Not like he'd find you anything more than friends.

-

You once planned to confess to him but as you were looking for him, you overheard some parts of a ’private’ conversation.

"Bladie, what do you prefer in a girl?" Kafka smiled, asking him. He just looked away as he looked in your direction, it felt like he saw you, but then it felt like he didn't as it really was just an open corridor thing.

"I don't know. I don't care about such things... But probably someone good with a sword and is stronger than me." He mumbled the last part, seemingly unsure of his words infront of Kafka as she'd probably do some weird shit.

"Oh? I thought you liked girls like [ Y/N ]?" She pried. "No... We're just co-workers, shes too bold for me too." He sighed, speaking in a low tone.

Just co-workers? Ha, is he fucking insane? Not even friends... But literal co-workers? You walked away holding onto your broken heart with tears bubbling up a little but you just wiped them away deciding to push your feelings away.

"Hmm... Poor [ Y/N ], seems pretty upset that she thought she was already rejected without the chance to even ask directly..." Kafka whispered in a low tone, glancing in the same direction he looked in previously.

"...Excuse me?" He asked, yet only got a headshake and ’nothing.’ in response. Did ’Elio’ also foresee this? How come Blade wouldn't get to know though? Well I guess he wouldn't need to since it's not related to the Astral Express or Stelle.

—

"Girls number? Who exactly are you talking about?" He asked, making the atmosphere even more awkward. "Oh please, don't act like I didn't see how you stared down that girl with ’beautiful’ curves in that stupid bar." You scoffed, crossing your arms.

"Is this seven minutes in heaven, or seven minutes in hell listening to you complain? And I didn't stare her down. I was just looking at her because ’curves’ were related in the stupid topic. You're the one who just stomped away like a furious little kid." His words hit you hard into the face, "And we aren't dating, I don't see how you're so pissed off about it."

You were practically seething in anger as you just turned around to go through the rooms backdoor to go outside. "And where are you going?" You felt him grip onto your waist, which sent shivers up your spine. "None of your business." You tried to push his hands off yet his grip only tightened even more.

"Blade..– Let go." Your breathing slowly became more and more hitched as the gap between you closed. Suddenly the lights went out and you heard Kafka announce something that made everyone walk away.

"Have fun, you two." Kafka whispered to herself, although she knew you couldn't hear.

"Hm? What happened, Kafka?" Silverwolf confusingly followed her from behind.

His chest pressed against your back, feeling his breathe becoming heavier as his hand slid down to your inner thigh, making you try to squirm out of his grasp almost instantly. "Blade stop—nnh.."

A soft low moan was made out as he caressed your clothed sex, you held onto the door infront of you, "Do you want me, [ Y/N ]?" He whispered into your ear. As short silence filled the room, he spun you around, lifting you up with his arms with your back pressing against the now locked door. "Answer me, you whore."

His eyes bored into yours. Your eyes darted everywhere trying to find a way to escape or somewhere decent to look at. "Whats with the act? How come you're so shy now?" He teased, chuckling, leaning into your lips. His tongue mixing with yours as you held onto him for Aeons sake, digging your nails into his back.

He pulled away with a string of saliva connecting from both of your lips, before leaning back down biting down on your tops button spitting each one out. "Do you really need to destroy my top? I could've just undo it by myself."

This felt like a dream come true, yet you also wished you would just wake up from it, it feels so wrong yet so right.

"Hmm... Can't have a pretty girl like you falling onto the ground now can we?" He held you with one arm now, with the other needily pushing the remains of your dignity away to reveal your chest. Yet another obstacle arised due to your bra. "Shouldn't we...—stop here? I'm sure it's already been seven minutes.." He shook his head, just pushing your bra down.

"Mmh, how cute, you're the one who wanted this for so long yet you're the one who also wants this to stop already." He bit down on your nipple, suckling on it like he tried to milk you,

"Maybe I should breed you with kids so I can suck alot of milk out of you, you'd probably like that, wouldn't you?" You moaned softly from time to time, covering your mouth with one hand as the other travelled up his hair,

"Mmngh... I— maybe...nnnh" you whimpered. His mouth was suckling one with one hand cupping the other and flicking at your now hard nipples leaving hickeys. You sobbed out his name softly, "I assume thats a yes? Can't believe how turned on you are when I'm only playing with your tits."

The previous hand that was cupping your boob slid down your pants, pushing it down along with your panty,

"Be a dear and say my name, maybe I'll help with that wetness down there then." His gloved finger ran down your slit, making you shudder,

"blade..." You mumbled

"Can't hear ya."

"Ugh... blade," You looked away embarrassed, your nails again digging into his back.

"Hmm?"

"Oh for Aeons sake, Blade please just fuck me!" You cried out in annoyance, the embarrassment was more than enough.

"Good girl." He lifted you over to a table, laying you on it with you facing him, "Wasn't so hard now was it?" He took his gloves off, pulling your pants off exposing your legs and cunt.

The tension got heavier with the bare cold hitting against your chest and lower half. He aligned two fingers with your hole, slowly pushing it in. "Be gentle—please..." You looked away,

"Mhm... And why should I?" He cooed "Could this be your first time?" You slightly nodded, as he just looked back at your hole, pushing his fingers in deeper forcing a moan out of you; "Ughh..—Blade! Nnh!" You cried, arching your back miserably, it hurt like a bitch yet slowly felt good.

He can't believe he almost gave your virginity up to someone else other than him, the fact you could've been moaning out someone elses name really is annoying.

His fingers thrusted in and out at a painfully slow pace, your walls tightened vigorously and it was so easy for him to access with how wet and slick your pussy already was for him. The pace got faster, with his fingers slightly becoming curled with each passing thrust adding another finger in.

"Fuck! Blade—nngh.. shit..." You cussed out clawing at the table feeling a knot in your tummy loosening, you came all over his fingers making a mess on the table. "Look at what a fucking mess you made, what a slut getting off with my fingers alone." He shoved his fingers down your mouth, onto your tongue,

"Lick it." You moaned softly to try and tease him, along with some sucking. "Ha, maybe I shouldn't have let you cum that easily." He flicked your clit making you yelp a little loudly.

The bulge in his pants was starting to become unbearable, but atleast it's time to actually have some intercourse. He undid his belt, slipping his pants off pulling you closer to him, sitting infront.

You became a tad bolder, holding onto his thigh and with the other hand you held onto his arm. "Sit still, pretty girl." he reprimanded,

He finally slipped his boxers down grabbing onto your ass lifting you up pressing your now dry saliva-ridden tits against his chest slightly with him holding his length, "Uhhm... Are you sure it's going inside of me?" You stared nervously at his length "Yes, and I'll make it fit if you're so worried about that." He spat on his hands, rubbing around it.

"Don't girls usually do that by sucking it?" You ask perplexed, "Mmh... They do, but I'm sure the both of us can't wait to start this fuckfest."

He chuckled again lowly, burrowing his head into the crook of your collarbone kissing it leaving a hickey as he blindly shoved it inside of your hole making your back arch, and tremble. His mouth travelled down again to your nipple, suckling on it and drawing circles around it with his tongue. He stuck his hand in place on your stomach feeling the bulge disappear and appear each thrust he does.

"Fuck—" low moans rolled off your tongue, "... Feels so good, Blade.." He sloppily thrusted inside, trying to find your g-spot, finally noticing you tighten arching your backing vigorously at one of the thrusts, thrusting again making you moan loudly.

"Shh. Do you want someone to hear us?" He shoved a finger in your mouth, spitting onto your tongue making you swallow it. "Such a whore, swallowing my spit so easily." He leaned in for another kiss, mixing saliva together once again sloppily thrusting rolling his tongue around with yours.

His thrusts got faster 'n deeper yet somehow still managed to hit your G-spot everytime, you threw your legs around him, and arms around his neck smashing your lips against him. "Fuck—I'm so close [ Y/N ]... He mumbled lowly with one of his hands travelling down to rub your clit furiously.

You creamed around his cock, liquids dripping down your thighs and his shaft furiously feeling yourself coming closer to your climax. You burrowed your head into his neck, messing his collar up and leaving small hickeys as you bit at him.

"Really what a whore, I can't believe you could've been like this with someone else." His words made you scoff slightly, "Neither can I." Grunts could be heard under his breathe and your moans getting louder and bolder till both of you came at the same time, white liquid filled your womb yet you still felt his length barely softening,

You tightened around him hard you could feel his cock pulsing inside of you, "Mmh.. Not done yet." He whispered, blowing into your ear having reality settle into your very veins.

"Don't tell me you still have stamina..." You said in a tired tone. "I do, infact I still do have enough till morning." He laughed leaving another hickey on your collarbone, biting on it feeling proud of all the markings hes made on you.

—

Light shined through the blinds, quite literally almost blinding you till you realized you have no idea where the fuck you are. You were in some weird house, in someones bed. You got up and noticed you were naked, hurriedly finding clothes to wear.

Till you noticed the closet was full of mens wear, yet you just grabbed whatever looked comfortable and strided out of that room... Which was probably Blades room. You noticed a mirror right when you stepped out, and saw hickeys everywhere on your collarbone and neck. "So it really wasn't a dream..."

"What wasn't a dream?" You saw him appear from the side holding a cup of coffee in different clothes for the first time. "Also you're wearing my clothes. They seem too big for you." He remarked, "Well obviously, I have no idea where the hell you threw my clothes off too and the tops buttons were torn off by you."

"Calm down you two, we don't wanna stir up trouble in this house, otherwise we'll be found out and chased out. Also stop with the love quarreling." Silverwolf sighed also in different clothes. "Okay why is everyone in different clothes for the first time? Am I going insane?" You rubbed your eyes.

"Now we may wear the same outfit for a long time but we definitely wear something else at night to sleep comfortably, thank you." She replied in an ’isn't it obvious?’ tone. Blade just leaned on the wall sipping the cup of coffee.

Silverwolf then seemed to remember something, hurriedly tip toeing over to you, "How was it?" She whispered in your ear. "What? How was what? I don't know what you're talking about." You flushed red running away to find the bathroom.

"The bathrooms the other way." He yelled loudly in an unfazed tone. "I KNEW THAT!!!" You screamed dashing the other way.

"Oh dear Blade... What exactly did you do to her?" "Nothing. Don't go thinking weird stuff about me now." He took another sip of his coffee before following in your tracks to also go to the ’bathroom.’

——

[queercoshon]

Here's part 2. Not sure how I feel about it. Lemme know what you think, as well as any other scenarios you might wanna see with this crew:P

Cw:intox (weed/alcohol)

Fuck, I'm so glad to be done finals. Summer can finally start! I've got like, a month and a half before my job starts, and Millie suggested that I just take it easy, because I've been working so hard. I have been!

We're all going out later to celebrate, but surely a hit or two of my vape wouldn't hurt...

Millie's so funny, and sweet. She brought home a burger and fries for me because she knows I'll get hungry before we finish at the club. God I lucked out. Gotta shove this in my face before Ollie and Jazlyn arrive.

"Here, Shevy, to your first year of masters done!" She gives me a shot glass, we clink, and I throw it back without thinking. Mmmm it burns so good. Tonight is gonna be great.

-----------------------

Shavon's clothing was fitting like a failing sausage casing, and Millie couldn't keep her eyes off of them. They had packed on even more weight, probably close to 50-60 pounds since this time last year, and their flab could not be contained. Millie knew for a fact that their shorts were being haphazardly held closed by the old hair elastic trick; not that anyone else could see it under their belly hang. Millie also knew that their skin-tight shirt wasn't originally a crop top, but there was no way they could get it over their belly button now.

The crew didn't go clubbing super often as they now all preferred a quiet night in, but when Jazlyn suggested it, both Millie and Shavon enthusiastically agreed. Shavon because they knew there would be an epic fast food run, and Millie because she'd get to enable and watch Shavon swell in public. Just seeing them in their outfit now made her feela type of way. What would happen as the night continued?

They all ordered shots and their first drinks and managed to find an empty booth. Shavon sat at the end kind of sideways, and that's when Millie noticed that their gut was pressing heavily into the table.

Fuck.

"Cheers!" Jazlyn initiated, "to another year of schooling done!"

Everyone downed their shot, and Millie was pleased to see Shavon down more than half of their beer right after.

They tried to talk for a little while, but a club isn't a great place to do that, so Jazlyn tried to drag them to the dance floor.

"I'm not drunk enough," Shavon had already lumbered back to the bar once for another beer, which was nearly empty now.

Ollie stood up, promising to join after a smoke. So Jaz and Millie went by themselves.

But first Millie had something to take care of.

"I'll keep getting you drinks, as long as you promise to come on the dance floor later," she muttered into Shavon's ear, whose eyes glinted as they nodded.

She replaced their drink right away, and checked in every few songs. Millie put back a good amount herself. She loosened up, enjoying dancing with her friends, and then dancing with strangers. She tried to get into rhythm with a few different people, but there was only one body she wanted to see moving on this floor.

After an hour she couldn't wait any longer. Ollie was going to get bored soon, Jaz would find someone to go home with, and Millie was tiring out.

They found Shavon at the booth, tipping the last of their 7th full drink into their mouth, the other hand on top of their bloated belly.

"Urrrp! I guess it's time?"

Millie nodded, and Shavon tried to get up, but between the inebriated lack of coordination and their gut bloating up further to wedge them in, they struggled to move, just managing to shake out some burps.

After Millie's brain finished short-circuiting, she bent over to help them, pulling their arm with one hand and maneuvering their fat away from the table with the other.

Mission accomplished! Both were panting by the end of it, both faces red for many reasons.

Millie turned towards the bar first. "I need a shot. Then we dance."

-------------------------------------------

I never been a good dancsr, even when I was thinner. I've always been clummsy. But noe I'm clumsy, heacy, and drunk.

Millie don't seem yo mind though. We're dancing and she keeps brushin over y fat nd it feels so good.

This the first time I notice that my bellu hang is bouncing off my crotch while standing up. Fuk im fat.

--------------------

Millie could blame it on the booze, but she doubted she could keep her hands to herself when Shavon was in this state. Sweat glistened across their dark skin, pooling and following the tracks of their angry stretchmarks. Every movement sent a ripple through their fat, each part of their body with a mind of its own.

Millie would brush against them, then hold them a little, then press right into them, to the point she could  feel Shavon's bloated gut gurgle before a big burp.

Something needed to happen soon, or she wasn't going to be able to contain herself.

Oh thank god Ollie wants to leave.

Her last touch only lingered a few seconds longer than intended.

-------------------

Fuck I'm fat and this is exhausting. Thank god ollie is askin us to go ousside. Jaz already found a paartnrr for the night, so its just the three if us now.

The cool air feeels so good on my skin. All thise drinks bloated mme up bad, i can't pull my sirt down from under mu chest.

"Shavon, here, smoke this while we walk to taco bell."

God bless ollie.

Im already so hungry fom the booze,  ut the munchies hit harrrd when we walk in.

"Cannu order for me, Millie? I dunno wha I want!"

"Sure thing, hon."

I dunno wgat shes ordering, but it soundz like a lot. Maybe foe all of us?....i hope not.

Ollie's frowning t a sign.

"Aw shit, guys, the lobby's closed for the night. I'm just gonna grab my stuff and go home if that's okay? Transit from your place to mine after 1am is god awful."

Millie offers to lt him stay ob our couch, but he says he wats his oen bed. Good, cuz i wanna sit on the xouch for another beer ir three.

"Okay, gnnight, Ollie!" We wave as our bus pukls up, Millie carrying two nAgs of takeout. My ass spilla into a seconds seat now. How long until I'm too fat for the bus?

I mentioned millie the best ruggt? As soo  i sat diwn she pyt one taci bell box right on nu tummy, and she brougbt ovdr the bonf abd a 6 paxk od cidr.

Thidd high idx buildung reallu fast and im so hungry.

"You're doing so good! Finished your first box already. Let me get your quesadillas. And don't forget to drink up!"

Ohh ya, im thirdty. Cottonmoutgd a bitch.

Urrrrrp! 2nd cabb doen. I dont ecen knoe ho muxh i drank tonight. Enough that the sgars in frint of ouf houe were hard. Noe im dond 2 urrp M ore ciders. My belluu feels a llittle bit itchy.

I love that i can use my bellu as a table nkw. Works even better in thrvrecliner, but imm be too fat for that soon. And on the coubch millie sits bestde me and helps. Sheds so helpful.

"Here, hon, let me open another drink for you." She dowsnt even maje me hol the can, she putd it right tk mh mouth and i just chugg  milli will know when im dine

Fuuc the while can is gone

"Urrrrap-hic! Oh nooo -hic- Millllie I -hic- i got da hiccups! -hic- urrrp!" My belly id gurgling so loud, and id sloshes every time j hiccup.

"Poor little piggy. But you like how much the hiccups jiggle your flab, and make you burp. You always have more room after hiccups, right?"

I dunno why my fsce turbs red, maybev hust allcohol in my chreks. Bt then shes rjbbing my gut with bkth her hands and fucj

"Mmmmm urp- hic!"

"You like that?" Wgen she rjbs her fjnder inside my bellu button it ljrerslly takes my vreath awat

"Hic- yesss mmm, keep goi -urrrp!- going pless -hic!"

"Well I'll keep rubbing as long as you keep eating. Let me open another drink for you too."

Unnnnn even her stopping fr hust a seckndd is torrture. Soon s shee has the can opdn abd fthe quessadillaa open i jut have to sjove the frst one in my moutg. Is cold noe but i sont care. Fuck wheb she rhbs mu upperr belly as it goes down its likd orgasmic. Mmmm. Mjy hips wannd buck byht in jusr so fuckingg full and fat.

"You're being so good," her breaagh on mh ear mahes me shiver all the way dken to my toes.

"I wann be so goo!" Last bitr of the firest dilla goneoooh even ho im so crossed my belly reakky startinv to ache. Urrrp.

"I know you're full, but keep going. Only a little bit left." I gfrab thr can and chug wgat i can, but i miss a littlgr bit. Ites cold when it drivble kn between my chind and onto my chest. Fick im so fst i hsve multople chine now.

.mmm i can keeo my head up, af my eyes are so heach. Every ohher bresthe is just  brp nkw. Dcsnt see, but i feel mill hold othef dolla to me and its like sges magic and csb make me eat cuz i do. Eceru bitr id making my poor gut evveb rojnder. Itd so itchy abbd tight snd i ca barely breathe.  Ooooh ifs crampy. Wjy can mt o stop now?

She pjts the food down and tips my head  back. Fick thats hot and she pours the rest ig the can down my throst.

"I can feel you swelling under my hand," hðr vkice is like smoke, she can do ehstever she wantd to me if she cleeps yalkinh and rubbjng my belly

"Yur gonna make me popp!" My gut id creakikg now. I think im drkkling. Im deffinuitely panting i got no room lefft ffr my lungs. A bit fat drunker pig pudhing my bidy to breasking point

"Not yet. Just a little bit more food, and maybe more cider. Can you do that for me?"

Icab do anhthing for hki millie.

Ohh my velly hurtd. Each  bjte feelsd like itll be the onr to make me exxplohe, but her sweert praises and warm youch is so worth jt.

"You're done your food! Good job! I didn't know if you could. Now just a little bit more drink, honey."

I canny speak anymode. I jut mosn abd hiccup abd burp . I thibk i nod. Ns i drnk and drink gilping loudly, feeelingbit go down my throuar and expanðing my stomach.

Och! My belky hanf stings?

"Wow, you're a fatass. You broke the elastic holding your shorts closed~"

Fuuuk.

-------------------------

Millie could barely contain herself. Shavon was a cacophony of piggish noises, moaning and burping. Their eyes completely glazed over, and now they couldn't even keep them open. There was no way they were moving from this spot tonight.

Millie whispered praise as she rubbed their groaning belly. Every part of Shavon was fat now, but their abused gut was stuffed so large it looked like it belonged to someone much bigger. Red lightning bolts ripped over their dark skin, leaving divets as evidence of their unrestrained hedonism.

And now that it was summer, Millie had several months to see how unrestrained they could really be.

[percyweasleyapologist]

NEW ACADEMIC DISASTER RP

okay so this is a celebrity au and you can see this post by @callmesel for the kinda basis that we're gonna try for

also this is a polycule so they are all together :3

The characters are:

Percy: taken by @callmesel (@percy-not-weasley-official)

Penny: Taken by me :) (@penelope-clearwater-official )

Oliver: taken by @birdiebirdjay (@pennys-olive-man

Marcus: taken by @fairyofspringdays

Audrey: taken by @guess1mjustheren0w (@4udreyyyyyyy)

Cedric: taken by @dyinginisolation (@cedr1c-d1ggory)

Cho: taken by @savannahwiththegreenest-eyes (@theoneandonlycho)

Rita: @jamiefpotts (@the-quill-news)

YALL WE NEED FAN ACCOUNTS PLSSSSSSS (like rp fan accounts lol)

and maybe Rodger, some reporter, or anyone else yall want!

---

hehe just lemme know if you wanna join!! imma make a community so we can talk about plans and stuff :D

[ambiguous-avery]

On the Same Page, Sneak Peek

First time doing one of these, but I need y'all to hold me accountable to actually buckle down and finish this one. It's been in my drafts for too long, and was originally supposed to be a Valentine's piece that was uploaded alongside "You Know I Love You, Right?" But obviously that didn't pan out. And it's been kinda sitting since then. So this is to light a fire under my own ass for it.

Tagging @zepskies because you had asked about it. @sorryitsmyfirstdayonearth, and @voodoochildthings I may need to pick your brains about Sam at some point! @jollyhunter tagging you here as well because you're lovely!

In case no one saw it before, this is my love letter to all the girlies who read the filthiest smut in public with a completely straight face! 💜

bf!Sam Winchester x reader!Reader/You

You were something else when it came to lore and research. Sam could set down a pile of books and tell you to find info about a specific monster, and you could get back to him in under an hour, pinpointing the exact paragraph he had in mind when he gave you the challenge. You were quick as a whip when it came to the sheer amount of information you could tear through to get to what you were looking for. The only time Sam ever saw you take your time with a book was when you read something for yourself.  The 'you' that read books as a hobby was very different from the hunter-research 'you'. When you read your own personal books, you had a completely different look about you. Instead of the fierce concentration you wore when trying to find an incantation, you looked peaceful. Like you were savoring the words on the page. Like you enjoyed letting them take hold of you and weave a fantastic story around you. As if real life didn’t have enough fantastical stories. Granted, the ones in real life were less romanticized, and he could hardly blame you for the desire to escape even if it were just for a short while. Sam had quickly figured out the different expressions you wore when you read. He saw the subtle smiles and bitten lips and little leg kicks. And when he asked, you would tell him about how a character just confessed to another or how two characters just shared their first kiss. The sweet moments. The tender ones. He could tell when characters were going through strife by the way your eyebrows would furrow together, and a look of concern would worry its way across your forehead in creases. But nothing was quite like the eerie calm that would wash over you every now and again. That was the one reaction that he couldn’t figure out.

Also, lemme know if anyone wants to join a Sam tag list from me 💜

[preciouslandmermaid]

of songbirds, swords, and spice (8)

pairing: Opla!Zoro x Opla!Sanji x Fem! Reader (no use of Y/N or L/N)

tw/cw: physical violence, threats against the villain, language, mild hurt/comfort

note: lol. hi. i literally got inspo to write cuz someone messaged me and was like "are you gonna write more of this no pressure" and i went "damn...yes." ANYWAY!! I don't think there are any new tags in this chapter but if I missed something/a cw plsss lemme know :D thank u for reading xoxo we're finally creeping toward the epilogue of the first "arc" ! @star-mum

🏴‍☠️ read on AO3 🏴‍☠️

(masterpost)

<- (previous chapter)

The waves crashed into the hull, a low groan carrying through the wood like some great, ancient cosmic beast. He held the warm, little package between his long fingers and knocked politely on your door. It wasn’t much, but it was better than nothing, and you had skipped dinner with the crew. Nami said they wouldn’t arrive to Nightingale until morning, but he couldn’t let you go to bed without something.

Your door swung open, the black cat winding around your ankles, and Sanji smiled. “I’ve brought you something,” he said, “although, I’m afraid I didn’t get the shape right.” A warm, prickly sensation burned at the nape of his neck and the tips of his ears.

Your eyes widened as you accepted the package. Sanji swallowed and leaned on the doorframe as you took a step backward. You peeled aside the brown paper and your lips quirked upward. Within the brown paper was a handmade pie. He filled it with red bean paste - just as you had told him. He did his best to make it fish shaped, although it was difficult without a mold.

“Wow, Sanji, this is…thank you.” You exhaled, your grateful smile hinged on a wince as you sat down on your bed. “I guess I owe you some spicy seafood pasta, huh?”

“You don’t owe me anything,” he said, ducking his head and letting his bangs fall across his forehead. Mimi jumped onto your bed, sniffing at the brown paper cradled in your hands, and you stiffly reached up to scratch her behind the ears. “Are you alright?”

You said, “Yeah, I’m just…I’m having trouble bandaging my injuries.”

Sanji opened his mouth to offer help, but then closed it and scratched the side of his jaw. Should he get Nami? He recalled you telling Luffy you didn’t like being touched. Your eyes were averted from his, staring at the misshapen hand-pie in your palms with your brows slightly pinched. He didn’t want you sitting in discomfort, in sadness. He wanted to help, to care for you - as he would care for anyone else on the crew. You weren’t part of the Straw Hats, but in another life you could’ve been.

He straightened. “Do you - um - need a hand?” He looked back into the corridor. “I can wake Nami, if you’d like.”

You met his gaze, smiling. “Since when do chefs have medical training?”

He shrugged. “How hard could bandages be?” He rolled his tongue piercing, hitting the metal to the back of his front teeth. You nodded and set the hand-pie off to the side and out of Mimi’s reach. He sat behind you on the bed, the narrow mattress sinking beneath your joined weight, and accepted the roll of bandages with a gentle thanks.

Sanji sucked in a breath when you turned your back to him. Your borrowed shirt from Nami was tacky with blood. He set his jaw, trapping the words of vitriol he wanted to say between his teeth. They should’ve thrown Mr. Wasp overboard instead of keeping him cozy and restrained down in the hull.

He wouldn’t overrule your wishes, though. You wanted Victor Wasp returned to Estella, so that was what they’d do.

As gently as possible, he rolled the dampened fabric up and you held the bottom hem at your shoulders, and you winced as the fabric stuck to the places where the blood had congealed and started to scab. The lacerations weren’t deep, but there were many and they scattered criss-cross over your skin.

“I’m sorry,” Sanji murmured, “I’m sorry.”

“I know.”

“Tell me if you need a break or…” he trailed off, silence falling between you.

It’s a slow-going process. Sanji placed one end of the bandage at your hip, his long arms and nimble fingers working his way around and around, his breath trembling in his throat. His ears perked to your every breath, your every slight adjustment, and above the scent of blood, there was sweat and something wholly unique to you.

It was halfway through wrapping your torso when Mimi stopped trying to paw at your treat and came to rest near your pillow, curled up and purring loudly. Sanji exhaled slowly, his motions careful, as he was determined to make this experience as painless as possible.

How many times had he imagined being close to you? All those brief moments stolen within Estella’s kitchen or sitting beside you under Nami’s tangerine trees. Now, here you were, close enough to touch and yet he was afraid to do so—afraid to hurt you further. You’d already endured so much and more than he could ever imagine.

Estella had shared her story, a fragment of your past and he understood why you cherished her so. She had looked after you, protected you, and lived on the run for years alongside you before settling at Nightingale. He and Zeff shared a similar bond. A little different, of course, since that crusty old cook was a grump and a pain, but Sanji liked to think he understood your bond with Estella in some way.

An ache grew like an icy sliver in his chest. He wished he could’ve met you sooner, wished he could’ve stopped Victor from ever getting his slimy, awful hands on you.

***

You focused on the grainy wooden walls while Sanji tended to your injury. The silence felt weighted and poignant. Like you were meant to be talking or sharing something personal, maybe. Yet, the words wouldn’t jostle free no matter how many times you swallowed. Sanji’s hands - deft and practiced around a sharp knife - were light and delicate across your sore flesh.

Usually, you disliked being touched by strangers, but Sanji wasn’t a stranger. He came for you, fought for you. You trusted that he wouldn’t harm you.

You glanced to the wrapped dessert. The little treat that Sanji crafted with his skilled hands. You were touched by his gesture, it was true, but you were terrified to take a bite into that vaguely-fish shaped pastry. What if it tasted like home? What if it reminded you of your parents? You were six years old when Mr. Wasp stole you from them. Did they miss you? Did they search for you? A lump tightened in your throat.

“Are you sure you want to bring him back to Nightingale?” Sanji asked, breaking the heavy quiet between you.

“Yes.” You nodded a little and the tightness in your throat ebbed away as you were focused on the conversation at hand. “Estella deserves to decide what happens to him.”

Sanji hummed. “You have a great love for her,” he observed.

“She saved my life.” You glanced over your shoulder and Sanji lifted his head. His hair was gold and shiny in the low, humming lamp that rested on your bedside table, his clear blue eyes framed by his lashes. Your heart fluttered. Normally, you would’ve suffered the pain, and let the wounds scab over and wait for Estella to care for you. Yet, you accepted Sanji’s offer. Why? What made him so different? What made the Straw Hats so different? You licked your lips and broke eye contact.

“And now, she’s not the only one I’m indebted to,” you said.

“I don’t want any debts between us.”

You trembled as his warm breath tickled the nape of your neck. The bandages had reached your shoulder blades and you knew he’d be finished soon.

You said, “Me either.”

“Friends, then?” He asked as he secured the bandage.

You rolled Nami’s shirt back down and let out a slow sigh of relief. The bandages would help you sleep tonight (or so you hoped). You twisted to face Sanji properly, though your eyes burned with unshed tears. You were so grateful to him, to Luffy, and Zoro and Nami and Usopp. Not only for helping with your injury but all the myriad of moments in between. He cooked for Estella. Luffy played with the children. They sought Estella’s final puzzle box and helped an old woman complete a lifelong dream. Sanji tried to recreate a dessert from your home island. They saved your life. They protected Nightingale. They weren’t pirates - they were heroes.

And soon - sooner than you’d like - this dream would end. You’d return to your performances and never see him or any of the Straw Hats again. The tragedy of it pressed against your ribs as tight as the white bandages now wrapped around them. The gratitude and grief churned together like the ocean waters before a thunderstorm. But, you didn’t want to cry in front of him.

“I’d like that,” you said, voice rough around the edges.

Sanji’s face crumpled, eyes brimming with concern, his hands fidgeting on his lap. “Do you—”

You shook your head quickly, cutting him off. “I’m okay.”

“You know where to find me,” he said while standing, “or any of us.”

“Mm. Thanks again, Sanji.”

He closed the door on his way out. You pressed your hands to your face and let the tears slip free, gliding hot down your cheeks and off your chin. On your pillow, Mimi snored, wholly unbothered by the complexities of human emotions and your ongoing internal struggle.

The truth was this - if not for your responsibility and debt to Estella; you would’ve joined them. Luffy believed he could become king of the pirates and through his faith, his determination, his courage - you believed that you could achieve your dream, too. You could travel the endless seas and help people. You could see the world without the fear that you’d be captured and returned to Victor. The idea of liberation and freedom felt possible on the deck of the Going Merry. You sniffled, wiping tears from your face and trying to catch your breath.

Estella needed you. The children needed you. The staff at the Golden Cupid needed you. You dutifully laid your own dreams to rest a long time ago. You couldn’t go with Luffy. You couldn’t.

It didn’t matter that Nami said she’d like to be friends with you. It didn’t matter that Zoro implied you were allies. It didn’t matter that Sanji asked to be friends and you foolishly, stupidly, impulsively agreed.

“I’m so stupid,” you muttered miserably through your tears. The Straw Hats weren’t going to stay at Nightingale. They had adventures to be had, dreams to chase, and towns to save. They’d leave you behind and you’d likely never see them again. What sort of friendship would that be?

These thoughts circled your mind like carrion birds. Nothing new came to mind. No solutions. Nothing but the harsh, biting reality that your life was tied to Estella and nothing would or could ever change that.

You licked your lips, tasting the only saltwater that couldn’t kill you, and reached for the wrapped brown paper set on your bedside table. It was still warm. Mimi lifted her head at the sound of crinkling paper.

“Not for you,” you muttered, glaring wetly without any heat. “Not for kitties.”

You bit into the spongy, soft pastry and the subtle, earthy flavor of red bean paste blossomed on your tongue. You took another bite, suddenly ravenous and grateful for Sanji’s gift, and ignored the tears sliding down your cheeks.

***

The next morning, as much as you wanted to step out onto the deck and breathe the fresh, salty air, you made a slight detour and headed down into the brig. You needed to share a few words with Mr. Wasp before the Going Merry reached port. He was one cog in a greater machine. There were others like him, sitting comfortable and safe on their islands, and he knew their names.

Mr. Wasp was a megalomaniac, greedy, and self-absorbed abuser who happened to take meticulous, obsessive notes. It wasn’t something you were completely aware of as a child, but Estella mentioned it more than once. She’d look over her invoice for dry goods imported from Sparrow Island and recount her evenings polishing Mr. Wasp’s silverware and then logging each and every piece.

The Going Merry didn’t have chains and shackles and a barred door like Mr. Wasp’s ship. Instead, the ‘brig’ was where the barrels of water and sacks of rice were stored. And Mr. Wasp was tied to one of the support pillars.

You opened the door, wooden stairwell creaking as you descended, and stopped short at the sight of Zoro’s long legs extended before him. His back was propped up against a burlap sack, his arms were crossed, and his head lulled forward, his chin touching his chest.

You lightly kicked Zoro’s shoe. He blinked and his dark eyes flickered up to you.

You said, “You’re not a very good guard if you’re sleeping on the job.”

“He’s not going anywhere anytime soon,” Zoro replied with a downright caustic glare to Mr. Wasp’s form. He was ragged and unhappy, his greasy hair dangling on his forehead, his drooping, thin mustache lying across his cloth gag like a dead black worm. Victor’s good eye glanced between you and Zoro ad you caught flecks of dried blood crusted around his ear canal.

“Then why guard at all?” you asked, shifting your weight. You had brought Victor to his knees. He was tied securely, hands behind his back, to the support post. He couldn’t hurt you. He couldn’t even reach you without crossing over Zoro’s legs. You had your voice. You’d proven time and time again that you could hold your own in a fight. You weren’t powerless. Yet, a thread of nervousness wrapped tight around your heart.

This was the man who stole you from the rivers that flowed through the mountain, from the parents you barely recalled, and the home with the yellow door. You swallowed. You had so many questions, yet learning the answers wouldn’t rebuild the childhood you lost. And yet…and yet…you clenched your jaw. This was your last chance.

Zoro shrugged. “I thought everyone would sleep better if they knew I was watching him.”

“Oh.” Your arms dropped from where they had wrapped over your middle, disarmed and a little touched by Zoro’s words. You hadn’t known he was here, but in retrospect it was nice to know that the capable swordsman remained on watch. You cleared your throat and saved your gratitude for later.

You steeled your nerves to face Victor. “Doesn’t feel great, does it?” You asked while crouching. “I have some questions for you, Mr. Wasp, and it’s in your best interest to answer them.” You asked Zoro to remove Victor’s cloth gag. He rolled his jaw, his high cheeks burning red in indignation.

“You belong to me,” he seethed, “you are property. You don’t tell me what to do, my wayward merchandise.”

“I don’t belong to anyone,” you snapped. A violent urge flashed into your mind. The knowledge that you could - you could tell Zoro to shut him up - and he’d listen. He’d break Victor’s jaw if you asked. You knew it in your bones and blood pounded behind your eyes. You shook your head, reeling in your desires for vengeance, and refocusing. “You took a little girl from the Yama Archipelago,” you continued and pointed to your chest, “which island did you take me from?”

Victor sniffed. “Do you know how many islands are in the Yama Archipelago?” His lip curled, dragging his sweaty mustache along with it. “I’ve conducted business across hundreds - if not thousands - of islands.”

Your blood froze and the golden light of hope started to dim. “You keep records,” you said quickly. “Where did I come from? Who were my parents?!” A tremble of desperation sank into your tone. This wasn’t how this conversation was supposed to go. You needed a name - either your last name, or the name of the island, or the closest one to it. Something - anything - anything to reclaim the past of that lost, lonely little girl whisked away into the wide, open sea.

“No parent would want you!” Victor said, spittle catching at the corner of his mouth. “You rotten, awful, ugly thing. You’re a thief, and a monster, and a devil and I should’ve—” His words were cut short as Zoro’s fist cut across his jaw, knocking his face sideways and splattering blood across the hardwood.

“Shut up,” Zoro’s tone was flat and sharp, “unless you plan on actually answering her fucking questions.”

A tiny blossom of fondness bloomed in your heart. You hadn’t expected Zoro to stand up for you, but you were grateful for it. You inhaled, bracing yourself once more, reminding yourself of your inner courage and determination. Victor couldn’t hurt you and you weren’t a lost child anymore. If you couldn’t discover your own past, then you’d use Victor and save other children’s future.

Victor spat a glob of bloody spit and returned his dark, hateful gaze to you. “I am not surprised that you’ve allied yourself with criminals,” he continued, his teeth shiny with blood. “Are you going to have your dog kill me?” He glanced to Zoro and his eye lingered on the hilt of Zoro’s sword. You recalled the battles you fought alongside Zoro. His skills were impressive and you’d never want to see them wasted on someone like Victor Wasp.

“You aren’t a worthy enough opponent for a blade like his.”

Zoro’s head whipped to the side and caught your gaze for a mere second. The look shared between you was indecipherable. It was far, far too short to mean anything. Yet, your abdomen clenched and a cool, tight prickle of awareness skated down your spine. You clenched your hands into fists at your sides.

“I want the names of your associates.”

“No.”

“I’ll show mercy if you give me the names of people you’ve worked for, people you’ve sold slaves to, or that you bought slaves from.”

“I’m not interested in your mercy,” he sneered.

Zoro growled, “Are you interested in having all your teeth?”

Your fists clenched tighter. You knew Victor was stubborn, but would he go to his grave with his secrets? Would he go without regret or remorse for the lives he ruined? For letting Celeste die? For breaking Estella’s heart? For stealing your childhood?

“Why didn’t you call for a doctor?”

At this, he looked genuinely confused. His eyebrows furrowed and his narrow lips pinched. A swell of rage bubbled under your sternum.

“For Celeste,” you prompted hotly, your throat burning. How heartless could one man be? “She was sick, but she couldn’t gotten better.”

“Ah, yes, that one.” He sighed. “She would’ve cost me more berry to keep alive. Why send for a doctor when I could get two or three more just like her for the same price?”

He smiled. A greasy, self-serving smile. He talked about Celeste, he talked about you, like you were pieces of fine, polished silverware kept in his cabinet. He didn’t care about your hopes, or your dreams, or your families and the people you loved. He didn’t care that he let Celeste die. Your shoulders trembled. Your muscles quivered. The injuries on your back to burned and ached beneath their wrappings. You opened your mouth, dreaming of singing him into madness again, dreaming of his blood coating the floor and wiping that awful, hideous smile from his face.

“Perhaps I do remember your parents,” he continued, “yes, yes…I do. I remember they were so eager to collect the berry. You were a nuisance to them. A mistake.”

A low, wounded noise escaped your mouth. His words were a knife carving through your ribs. Your vocal cords refused to obey. Your dry throat working through a papery swallow.

“Yet, look at you now! You’ve become such a beautiful creature,” he continued smugly with a look to Zoro. “Tell me, swordsman, have you sampled the merchandise?” He leaned forward as much as the ropes around his body would allow. “Is that why you’re so eager to defend her?”

“Alright.” Zoro yawned. “I’m tired of listening to your voice,” Zoro deadpanned with another short, swift jab to Victor’s jaw. His eye rolled back into his head and his chin lulled forward to his chest. You stared at Victor’s blank, dazed expression, at the red mark on his chin that would likely bruise.

A mistake, he’d said. He made it sound like it had been a mutually beneficial transaction. Had your parents had given you up on purpose? No. No. That couldn’t be true. It couldn’t be. They loved you, right?

The house with the yellow front door. It felt safe. It was home. It didn’t matter that you couldn’t remember their faces or their voices. You’d know them if you saw them and they’d know you. You carried their echoes somewhere in your reflection. Maybe you had your father’s eyes and ears or your mother’s nose and laugh.

He was lying. He had to be. He was a cruel and selfish man and he knew he had lost. He just wanted to get a few emotional strikes in before the end. You rubbed your eyes with your fists and exhaled shakily.

“He’ll probably wake up in a few hours if you wanna try again.”

“Thanks,” you said stiffly. “I won’t, but thanks,” you added after a moment.

“Don’t listen to him.” Zoro leaned his head back into the burlap and closed his eyes. “He’s a piece of shit.”

You hummed in agreement. “Thanks for having my back.”

“Don’t mention it.” He squinted one eye open. “We’re allies.”

Suddenly, every ingrained instinct for survival reared its head. The word ‘no’ danced at the tip of your tongue. You managed a soft, noncommittal noise, turned away, and retreated up the stairs like a coward. You couldn’t form any deeper attachments to Luffy’s crew and there was no point or purpose to crying all over again. You had made peace with your destiny and now it was time to embrace it.

***

Sanji set the tray of breakfast next to Zoro’s legs. “He’s breathing?” he asked.

“Unfortunately,” replied Zoro as he picked up his chopsticks. Sanji leaned against one of the barrels and tucked his hands into his pockets. There was blood on Victor’s lower lip and distinct swelling on his jaw. It appeared recent. He bit the inside of his cheek, recalling the bloody welts on your back, your tender skin inflamed and oozing, the fragile trust you gifted him when you allowed him to help with your bandages.

He asked, “What do you think Estella will do with him?”

“It’s a bummer we killed that spider-woman-thing,” Zoro said while chewing, “we could’ve fed him to her.”

“I’m almost inclined to agree,” he said, “but I think death would be too merciful for the likes of him.”

“You should’ve heard the bullshit he was saying earlier.” Zoro’s grip snapped the chopstick in half and he flung aside the shorter piece. “I almost…” His nostrils flared and he trailed off, resuming his ravenous destruction of Sanji’s fried rice and vegetables. “Anyway. I’ll be glad to get rid of this guy.”

“We agree on something at last,” said Sanji, smiling.

“Eh.” Zoro grunted. “Don’t get used to it, cook.”

***

The sky overhead was brilliant and cloudless, the sun was a burning white dot that bled radiance across the rolling, cerulean waves. You searched the deck for the rest of the crew and found Usopp first.

“Hey, did anyone check the captain’s quarters of Victor’s ship?”

“Yeah, Nami did.” He pointed with his chin toward the tangerine trees. “We cleared it of berry.”

“Anything else?”

“You’d have to ask Nami,” he said before continuing to fiddle with the contraption settled between his crossed legs. Whatever invention it was - you didn’t bother asking. Your curiosity about this crew wasn’t meant to be sated. No more attachments. No more questions. Your future was set in stone. You thanked Usopp before ascending the stairs to Nami’s garden.

“Nami?”

She turned to you while holding a watering can.

“Did you find anything interesting on Victor’s ship?” you asked. In hindsight, you should’ve searched it for yourself, but you had been so drained after your confrontation with Victor, and sore and tired from your captivity that you just…didn’t. And it was too late to ask the straw hats to turn the boat around for a second peek.

“Not much, but, I did take this,” she said while removing a leather-bound book from her satchel. “I thought it’d have information about the Grand Line since he’s traveled all over.”

You accepted the journal with a grateful smile and flipped it open. The pages were filled with Victor’s neat, narrow handwriting. A captain’s log. Yet, instead of weather patterns and invoices for supplies for the ship, it was detailed reports on his various business enterprises. It had names. It had locations. It had dates! Your heart sped and your palms went clammy as you flipped further and further into the log.

Was this the key? Would it have the truth? Would you learn who your parents were? Would you finally be able to write home? You swallowed, your eyes burning and heart pounding, as you scanned the dates and searched for a familiar name. But, Victor’s log was woefully short. There was nothing logged that was more than two months old. You closed your eyes and shuddered away your disappointment.

“Well, if any of these names happen to visit Nightingale, I’ll know what to do with them,” you forced false cheer into your voice. You couldn’t uncover your past, but you’d deliver Victor to Estella and she’d have her chance for closure. That was enough. It had to be. Her vengeance was your vengeance and you shared a happy ending. The leaves on the tangerine trees rustled in the strong, briny wind and you brought the worn journal to your chest.

“Or you could hunt them down,” Nami suggested, her look meaningful and tender. You suspected she recognized and understood the similarities in your stories. If anyone on this ship could understand everything you went through — it was Nami. You, Estella, and her knew what it was like to have your freedom stolen. You knew what it was like to live beneath the thumb of a cruel, sadistic monster.

You shook your head. “Not in this lifetime,” you said vaguely and approached the railing. “How long until we reach Nightingale?”

Nami stepped beside you and together you looked out to the horizon.

“The winds are strong,” she said, “I’d say we’ll reach Nightingale before midday.”

You closed your eyes, sunshine burning against your eyelids, and breathed deep. A deep, quiet and shameful piece of your heart wanted to admit to Nami that you weren’t ready to say goodbye, it wanted to share all the agonies you suffered in the darkness of last night. But, instead, you kept silent and listened to the rustling leaves and roaring crash of ocean against the hull.

[echantedtoon]

Obsession 憑 Ch44

Tagging: @lavenderdropp @supernovacoffeestop @gilded-sunrays @crescent-blades @yumakutagawa @kksmush

Remember if you want to be added to the taglist lemme know

(Warnings for death mentioned.)

                                                                                       Part 5 Dawn 

There was quite a dilemma on your hands.

On one side this was the best thing to ever happen to you! Yoriichi was going to be getting married very soon and he would be moving far away from you probably forever. That meant you'd never be seeing him again which solved half of your entire problem!

However..on the other side...

This was much worse than anything you could think would happen rivaling only the gruesome acts of war you had personally been witnessed too. Yoriichi's joining of Muzan's forces was not only a dangerous game but frankly went against everything you people had fought against for so long. What took your family away from you. What drove you to desperate things. What even got you in this mess in the first place!

Not only did Lord Tsugikuni hate Yoriichi so much that he was willing to throw him away as a bargaining chip, but he was failing to see the much larger picture here! What if Muzan decided to go back on his words of peace and start up the war again? He'd have the upper hand considering Yoriichi knew exactly the ins and outs of the Tsugikuni army, not to mention Yoriichi's legitimately sword skills and strategic mind. He'd be an almost unstoppable force on the battlefield. Not to mention the way it'd just complicate things between Yoriichi and his own twin brother.

You hadn't seen Yoriichi talk about it seem to care for anyone else quite like his brother(and you you guessed but you refused to have anything to do with that) around you or anyone else who bothered to pay attention to his face while he talked, noticing just how slightly brighter his eyes lit up when speaking of or to Michikatsu. If Yoriichi ever had to fight with his brother on opposite ends...Well frankly that would destroy everything between them.

And while frankly you could care less about what happened to them, any bad blood could just worsen things if you think yiu knew where this was headed and frankly Muzan might just be going to do such a thing once he gets his hands wrapped around his promised prize. The real question is did the Prince know? You would assume he did considering Yoriichi was much more aware than he lead on but he also hated Muzan with every fiber of his existence.

 But you couldn't be sure. 

If he did know then he wouldn't have insisted Lady Mia marry him. Or maybe he didn't know all the details of this deal? But even someone who wasn't familiar with politics could see this for what it was. UGH!! This was hurting your head.

But your biggest concern wasn't Yoriichi at all.

It was all the innocent people who would be affected by the dangerous trade being made without their knowledge. Tanjiro and Nezuko. They were all you had. The only family you had left. The thing worth fighting for and you'd die before letting anything happen to them! But it wasn't just them either. Mr. Jigoro, Zenitsu, Inosuke, the people of your town, Shinobu, Mitsuri- Not to mention Tengen, Sanemi, and Rengoku wherever they might be! They were soldiers and so if anyone was going to be affected by war first, it'd be them!

 Not to mention that another war would mean that more drafts would be sent out to families. You wouldn't be able to stop your brother from being taken to war this time and then Tanjiro would be put in danger. REAL DANGER! And then Nezuko would truly be left alone with no one else to look out for her. She'd be at the mercy of anyone who wished her harm. She could be outcasted or targeted for being the sister of the infamous traitor!

You couldn't let that happen!

But you had no say in the matter! So what could you do?

The only two ways to stop this was by either warning Yoriichi if he wasn't aware so hopefully he'd make the choice to not avoid Muzan's army once he arrived or he didn't go at all. You decided to go with the first option because that seemed to be the most logical one at this point. The only real difficult thing was to find a way to speak with the prince. 

You being assigned to Lady Mia meant you had to stay by her side, which meant that you couldn't exactly just run off to go find him without possibly getting in trouble and getting punished for technically abandoning your duties. So for the time being, you were stuck just following the unorthodox Lady around and attending to her beck and call.

It wasn't so bad. You had to still go back to bunk with the maids once Shinobu had cleared you well enough to start working again as long as you didn't do anything straining or dangerous that threatened to reopen the would for a forth time since you first got it long ago. Obviously a wave of nausea and worry washed over you when you first returned to the maids' courters for the first time since the balcony incident but everyone there seemed to avoid you like the plague. Scooting away and even glaring at you with distain or fear. One girl even called you a filthy damn traitor but they stayed away.

Whatever Yoriichi had done to them was nore than enough to convince them to not try anything again it seemed, but you had no time to worry about them. Yoriichi was your target. The first day of being Lady Mia's lady in waiting was rather simple. You were rather rudely woken up by the Head Miss early in the morning before you were basically dragged out to Lady Mia's room and pushed in to find the woman already awake with wild bed head.

She took one look at you and snorted. "You look horrible. Did they not let you at least ready yourself first?"

You yawned rubbing your eyes. "I was matched here at maid point."

"I have a comb. Make yourself look presentable before you help me."

She was very nice to let you borrow her own comb to make you look somewhat decent before you went to go help her style her own hair and apply her make up. Having used to perform in your town, you were somewhat familiar with how to make a lady look rather presentable. Even she seemed rather impressed by your skills.

"You seem to be so good at this!," she complimented you looking at herself in the mirror admiring your hand work. "Have you served court ladies before?"

You shook your head. "No but I did do a lot of my own make up for performances after I retired from the army."

She stared at you. "Perform? You mean you're an actress AND a secret soilder? You really are a complex woman."

"Thank you?"

You weren't sure if that was a compliment or not but you'd take it. The next step was to just follow her around really as she made her way to have breakfast with Yoriichi and of course his asshole father. You weren't excited about seeing either of them but you had no choice. So you sucked it up and followed her inside. Now here you were, pouring juice into the cup of said prince whom didn't even bother to look at you as you serviced him.

"Are you enjoying your stay here.so far, Lady Mia?," Yoriichi asked the woman whom was currently chewing on a cooked piece of bird.

She eagerly nodded at him smiling widely. "Oh yes!" Her voice was slightly muffled by the food before she swallowed. "You've shown me such a big part of your kingdom and I must say that much of the countryside is beautiful and your people are very.... unique."

She was probably referring to the thousands of innocent people who feared the Tsugikuni Clan enough to even look at them while they were out. For good reason too as you had first handedly witnessed. 

"I'm glad you're enjoying your stay here. My brother's letter arrived late last night." The cup was slowly drawn up to his lips. Pomegranate eyes closing halfway. "Unfortunately he can not make time to come back for the ceremony but he does send us his regards."

"Oh how nice of him! Please give him my thanks in your next letter."

You gave the samurai sitting there side glances as you walked around the table and towards Lord Tsugikuni whom was looking at what looked like a book of some kind. He never bothered to look up at either his son or his guest, only snapping his fingers and making a motion for you to come here. Of course he'd be ordering you to poor him something to drink. As much as you'd rather dump the entire pitcher on his head, you but your tongue to just walk around the table to give him what he wants. He wasn't paying attention to anyone else so he must've not realized who you were just assuming that you were a regular servant girl. 

"I apologize that I haven't been able to spend more time with you. I was wondering if you'd like to be taken shopping today. The nearest village has a rather quant marketplace this time of year," you heard Yoriichi politely suggest.

"Oh, I'd love to! It's been so long since I've been outside of the estate. Could she come along?" Lady Mia gestured to you which caught you off guard as she smiled. 

Yoriichi gave the briefest of glances to you as if he was just gazing at a passing servant before nodding eyes going back to his plate as he ate. "Of course. A court lady needs her lady in waiting to tend to her needs."

So that's how you found yourself wedged next to Lady Mia who was gazing out the carriage window like a child having her first pony ride excited to finally get out of the estate after what must've been months for all you knew. However you've noticed that Yoriichi was still refusing to make any kind of contact with you. His eyes were drawn to either the opposite window or they were closed in almost a meditative state. Red eyes glanced at Lady Mia whom wasn't paying attention to you, before you leaned forward to wave a hand in front of Yoriichi. He didn't respond to you but you knew that HE knew you were definitely there. 

When he still didn't respond to you, you reached down to jab him once in the chest hard enough to startle him into blinking at you wide eyed in both shock and bewilderment. Finally you got his attention as he continued to blink at you in obvious confusion. Your mouth opened but before you could say anything Lady Mia turned around beaming.

"This is such a beautiful day. A perfect day for shopping!"

Quickly he straightened up looking calm once more and not giving you a second glance. "Yes. I think you'll enjoy it. There's plenty of stalls and shops for you to choose from."

Your first day of trying to speak with him was a failure. All you did was follow around the two as Lady Mia just hung onto his arm excitedly chatting his ears off and dragging him from stall to shop to stall and then back again. He made no fuss, no arguments, and just politely listened to her babble on. Meanwhile you followed them around carrying a giant wicker basket carrying whatever she decided to throw in.

"Look at this beautiful dress!," she beamed pulling out a beautiful golden silk kimono and holding it up in front of her for Yoriichi to see. "What do you think?!"

"I think it would go lovely with your eyes," he complimented genuinely. Well he wasn't wrong. The dress matched her eyes perfectly. 

"Aw.~ You're always so sweet to me. What about this one?" She threw the gold kimono to you struggling to catch it before it hit the dirty ground and then you'd really be in trouble with the store keeper(or maybe not as he was trembling behind a loom staring at Yoriichi). Before she yanked out a blood red kimono with spider lilies printed along the hem and bottom of the sleeves. "How about this one?"

"I think the spider lilies are lovely." A hand calmly gestured to the print. 

"Hm. You know I think this would look MUCH better on Y/n!" You blinked as suddenly she held out her arms and held the pretty kimono in front of you. Her big smile wide. "They go with her red eyes so well! Don't you think she'd look beautiful in this, Prince Yoriichi?"

The man didn't speak at first looking at her, plum red eyes trailing across the dress's gentle sway before him until his orbs bothered to finally look at you before with an exhale, those eyes gently closed. "I-..I-I believe she would, however it wouldn't be appropriate for either of us to buy a gift for a maid. If you have finished here, we should pay for your dresses and leave."

"Oh alright."

You had no idea what had just happened but the way Lady Mia looked at you and winked had you concerned about what exactly she might end up doing, however that concern was pushed aside with the bigger concern of having your brother and sister in danger! You MUST speak to Yoriichi.

You only wished that it wasn't so difficult!

When you had wanted him to leave you alone before he refused but now that you actually needed to talk to him he was bothering to respect your boundaries. That day was the only time you saw him until four days later he bothered to show up again while you were busy fetching Lady Mia some more books from the royal library to read. You ended up walking in on him handing over a small handful of wild flowers to her.

"They're lovely!," she cooed lovingly accepting them from him.

"They're some of the first flowers of Spring so they're very special. A special lady like you deserved to have some of their beauty."

If she could she probably would've turned as pink as the cherry blossoms outside as she grabbed her cheeks with a giggle. "Oh stop.~ You're making me blush! But I'm only a simple woman." Her eyes shifted to you as she pointed. "However Y/n is a war hero. She deserves much more praise than I!"

"Perhaps but I brought them for you." He didn't even look at you as he offered his arm. "Would you please join me for dinner? There's a few musicians that will be putting on a show."

"Oh, yes! Y/n, come along! It'll be wonderful-"

"I'm afraid she'll have to stay here and clean your room. It's due for a cleaning and I will not have my fiance residing in such conditions."

So not only did you not get to speak with him again but you were forced to sweep and scrub the floors and change the bedding as they went off to do who knows what at dinner. Although the faint musical tunes of flutes and biwas were heard by you as you walked down the halls to go drop off the laundry at the laundry room. 

And then again you didn't see him at all for the rest of that month! You were getting more and more frustrated with him, and feeling stuck! You couldn't go anywhere unless Lady Mia asked you to go fetch something or you were following her around as her lady in waiting. Whenever you did, you tried keeping an eye open for the prince anywhere but unless he wanted to be seen, you never saw him. Yoriichi was always good at that. Disappearing into thin air and only coming back into view unless he wanted to..or until it was too late. 

Too late. 

That's what it almost was. Too late. At most they'd only remain here for two more months and then it'd be too late to stop him. 

You had to figure out some way to get some time to talk with him without anyone else interrupting you both but between your duties to Lady Mia and the fact you could get in big trouble if you were caught was a tricky thing to work on. You couldn't be able to see Yoriichi if.you were punished or imprisoned. What to do?! What to do?!

"You seem to be thinking really hard on something."

"Hm?" You looked up from where you were combing out long black silk locks of hair. Golden eyes gazed at you from the reflection in the mirror. "Oh. It's nothing." You went back to combing out her hair. "I was just..thinking about my family."

It wasn't a lie. You kept thinking about how affected they're going to be if you didn't do something about it but that seemed to be impossible by the way things were progressing. For once Lady Mia was silent, observing you carefully from the mirror as you just went back to work brushing her hair out before she got in bed for the night. 

"...What about your family?"

"What?" Red eyes looked up at gold ones.

"Your family," she repeated looking at you intensely, "We've talked about my family since I've got here, but what about yours? You've mentioned that you joined the army to take care of them but you never seem to speak of them." Her head laid into one hand. "Tell me what they're like."

That took you completely off by surprise. Your family? No one's asked you about your family since Mitsuri had asked how Tanjiro and Nezuko were doing while they treated your wounds. After a moment you looked back to the silky black locks and shiny golden comb in your hands. The saddened look didn't go unnoticed as you shrugged.

"There's not really a lot to talk about. I have a younger brother and sister and they live rather far from here."

"What about your parents?"

"They're....deceased."

A blink of surprise. "Oh..I'm so sorry. If you don't mind me asking, how did they pass away?"

"Our father died from his long term illness meanwhile my mother and other siblings died from getting caught within a war zone years ago when everything first started. Since then it's only been myself, my brother, and our little sister."

"Oh no. I'm so sorry. I wouldn't have asked if I knew it was that sad."

"No. It's alright. As you said, you didn't know."

"Well you have my deepest condolences then. You and your siblings."

"Thank you. I think they would've appreciated your kind words."

"When's the last time you've seen them? I know some of the other servant girls get visits from their families at the front gates."

"Honestly...I haven't seen them in almost an entire year now. I'm very worried about them both."

Her eyes widened. "Almost an entire year? Well that won't do at all. Surely his majesty would let you visit them."

You grimaced. "Er...Well let's just say that Lord Tsugikuni doesn't like me too much and leave it as that." Honestly if he had it his way, you would've been executed or imprisoned for the rest of your life by now. You were still trapped but just in a different way.

"What about Prince Yoriichi or Michikatsu? Have you tried asking one of them? Surely they'd listen to one of their fellow comrades."

"Michikatsu is in a completely different kingdom for who knows how much longer, and Yoriichi...I honestly think he's just been avoiding me. He's too focused on you and getting ready for your wedding ceremony come next month." Your stomach dropped saying that.

"Haven't you tried to speak to go speak to him?"

"I can't. I'm not allowed to leave your side unless I want to be punished for not running errands."

There was silence as you continued to brush her hair where you knelt behind her but she stopped when she rose a hand. Confused, you paused at her signal to stop. Did you brush too hard or hit a hard tangle? You didn't think you'd been combing that hard. Instead of answering she silently leaned forward over the vanity she had in front of her. Confused still, you attempted to lean over past her form and hair to see what she was doing in the reflection of the mirror, but you heard something that sounded like paper being crinkled. A moment later her other arm was held up and you found a folded piece of paper in her hand. 

"Please take this message to Prince Yoriichi for me," her voice said making you jump slightly from her shift in tone. Instead of the lighthearted happy tone it usually had, she sounded much more serious. "I'd also appreciate it if you both had a chance to clear the air."

Red eyes widened at her hand. The key to all your problems right there in front of you. You almost couldn't believe it. The paper made more crinkling sounds as she waved it at you. Eventually you took it from her quickly standing up, the comb dropping to the floor with a thud. Red eyes gawked at the paper as if beholding some miracle.

"I don't know what to say."

"You'll have plenty to say when you see his highness." She waved a hand to you. "Now off you go."

You smiled brightly at her feeling happy for once after all these months. "Thank you! Thank you so much! I promise I'll make it up to you later!"

But right now you had to act! You quickly left the smiling woman behind, exciting out of the sliding door and passing by the two guards standing guard over her ladyship inside. You paid them no mind heading up the royal courters just up the hallway. They kept you here the first few days you were here trying to get you engaged to Michikatsu so you knew which one was Yoriichi's. Without even knocking on the door, you slid it right open not really expected him and you were correct. The room was clean but empty looking like no one had used it for a long while.

"Hey, you!" You whirled around to one of the guards glaring at you, one hand already going to clutch the hilt of his sword. "What do you think you're doing, Girl?!"

Quickly holding up the paper in your hands you said, "Lady Mia has ordered me to deliver this message to Prince Yoriichi. Where is he?"

It might've helped that they saw you just come out of her room first but the two men slowly looked over you, then at each other... before the more meaner looking guard slowly relaxed back, but didn't take his hand off his sword. 

"His highness is not here." The younger guard eventually slowly said before pointing up the hallway his arms making some clanking sounds. "He left to go inspect the gardens. But I highly suggest next time you knock and show respect instead of barging in like a wild boar!"

"Right! Sorry!" You quickly bowed before running your way back down the hall away from them. "Thank you!"

Your footfalls echoed out throughout the halls as you jogged your way down the halls towards to where you thought you remembered the entrance to the garden was. Guards standing guard or patrolling the halls gave you glances as you went your way down the halls. The grip tightened harder on the paper in case you'd be needing it again for whatever reason, like a lifeline for all the problems you were having now. 

Down this hallway. Up the next. Turn this corner- Wait. Back down the hall and turning down the other corner. Push open the sliding door and paused breathing heavily as moonlight shown down on your body. The night was new but beautiful as the darkness and stars peered down. Your bare feet slowly walked out into the cold stone pathway wincing from how slightly cold everything still was just turning Spring. The shrubs and other plants were still mostly bare or just budding with tiny green buds.

Your head swiveled from left to right slowly looking around for anyone else who matched the description of the royal brother whom was needed for the talking that must be done. Red eyes sharp and narrowed to strain through the limited light in search of the Prince. And then the walking feet stopped. Red eyes widened at something in the darkness.

A long cascade of mahogany locks framing an otherwise somber face. Small sun blazed earrings swaying lightly in the small wind. Plum red eyes gazing at the simple flowering bush in front of him silently. A hand calloused from years of fighting shifting through the tiny simple petals almost like petting a kitten.

Yoriichi Tsugikuni.

Your breathing was already giving you away when he turned and was instantly taken aback by your form there breathing heavily and staring at him before your eyes narrowed and you began walking towards him. His surprised look quickly vanished as he turned back to the flower.

"Don't you ignore me this time!," your tone was angry and demanding as you approached him, paper crushed in your grip. "Ive been trying to get you to talk to me for the last two weeks! I thought you would've jumped at the chance to talk to me."

He didn't speak a word only continuing to stand there. Perhaps it was the stress of months of their antics, the abuse you suffered, and the impending threats hanging over your head constantly but the lack of action drove you to see red and Yoriichi was surprised when a strong grip he hadn't expected wrapped around his arm and yanked him around to face the angry woman.

"If you don't want me here then at least tell me that to my face instead of giving me the silent treatment like a petty child!"

His wide eyes stared down at you before just as quickly they calmed again. "I thought I had already explained everything to you when you were recovering from your injury." His much stronger hand reached up to remove your hand with surprising gentleness. 

"I'm not referring to what happened then! I understand that you're marrying Lady Mia." You yanked your hand back. "I'm talking about the dangers everyone else will be put in if you go through with this."

His ever calm face tilted at you. "Dangers?"

You nodded. "Yes. I believe your father is trading you in exchange for Muzan giving him land he wants. That's what Michikatsu is doing isn't he? He's not establishing trading deals! He's establishing your family's presence there before you take it over!"

He fell silent once more staring at you before a simple sigh left his nose. "You were always smart."

"Wait." A look of shocking realization came over you. "You...knew about this the entire time?!"

"I was aware of what this entire marriage entails for me."

"Are you literally mad?!" Your hands gestured at him. "It's an exchange of power for territory! This position could threaten hundreds of innocent people if Muzan decides to restart the war, the only difference is that now he'll have a guarantee that he'll win if YOU go there and change the power dynamics! Doesn't that mean anything to you?!"

"What I think is no longer relevant to anyone anymore. I thought you made it clear to me that you don't give a single thought about me."

"There's your problem! This is bigger than you or me!" Red eyes stared at him desperately. Looking for any kind of change on his expression. "This is about the men you command! The families that look up at you for protection and leadership! Your family! Your friends! People like my brother and sister who could be killed by people making these decisions without taking their lives into consideration! Does that mean nothing to you?!"

By the end of your rant you were breathing heavier than before. A heavy silence being the only answer to your cries and tears stinging the corner of red eyes as both people stood there allowing the anger in the air to dispute before anything else could be said.

"....If I stay, there is nothing," he answered slowly eyes falling upon the way her lips trembled threatening to cry. "My father cares only of me as an object to be used, and my mother has passed on. Michikatsu.." Another pause. "He soon will no longer be needing of me I fear. The people who you claim to look up to me only do so in fear of what I may do or disdain for what I have done. There is no reason for me to stay."

"Then FIND a reason! There's plenty!" Your hand grabbed his arm again. "What about the innocent lives who haven't been affected by the world? Your men! Me!" You were hoping you wouldn't have to say that last bit but you were running out of reasons to give but that one as you had dreaded, suspected, and hoped, made his eyes perk up and his attention rise. "There's more than one reason you should stay. Just pick one and go with it!"

The silence between you both was uncanny and tense, heavy full of something but what that something was you had no clue of what it was. The only thing you could feel was some kind of unbridled anger and insistence and panic of what was going to happen. So much so that you hadn't even realized that a hand had been raised until you felt him cupping your cheek, causing your body to freeze and your eyes widen. He stared down at you half lidded, closely, before he took that closeness one step further and took a step towards you.

"Then become my reason."

You flinched. An involuntary reaction to his words as your mouth dropped open. What he said wasn't out of the realm of possibility for him to stay, in fact you kinda expected it. Your first instinct was to shout 'NO' at him and attempt to punch him in response but the flashes of Tanjiro and Nezuko's faces had you pausing. The entire reasons for you doing any of this. So they could be safe.

...Red eyes looked down. Tears threatened to spill again with how hard your fists clenched. "Yoriichi..."

"Yes?"

"Marry me instead."

********

[theworldofotps]

Pushed Away

Pairing: Bayley x Reader Word Count: 1,284 Description: In the weeks leading up to Mania, Bayley feels lost and pushes her girlfriend away.

@madhatterbri here you are lovely I hope that you enjoy it! Thanks for sending the request in.

No there is no part two _________ Tag list: @omg-im-such-a-masochist @melissahausen​ @new-zealand-chic​ @writtingrose @99hook @madhatterbri @sjwrites22​ @sassymox​ @mrsacklesevansmgk​ @xladyxfatex​ @adamcolesbaybay @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @demonqueen29​ @itsicantbelievethis666​ @lilred91 @rebellious-desires​ @claymorexpunisher @letsgivethisonemoreshot @ava-valerie​ @shortyiceheart​ @serpantscorpio8497​ @thatpanpal​ @thatnerdwriter @wrestlersownmyheart @vebner37 @seeingstarks​ @whenimakeitshine1234​ @legit9thlunaticwarrior @blaquekitty @ironshamelessyouth @unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin​ @ripleyswhore @moonrosekk @xbreezymeadowsx @alyyaana  @elevennbloom @melblacc @alliwant456  @mcreignsera @auburnwrites​ @aews-four-pillars If you wanna be added to the list lemme know. _______ Bayley knew that something wasn’t right when her group started acting weird around her, not replying much in their group chat. Excluding her from nights out or just finding reasons why they couldn’t travel together. So, when they jumped her in the ring after she overheard them talking about her backstage Bayley felt betrayed. She had put so much into this group trying to make them the most dominant women’s fraction that had ever existed in WWE. The people she had considered her friends deserted her like so many before.

Originally when she won the rumble, she was going to face Rhea that way she and Iyo could be at the top of the women’s division together. That all changed the moment she realized she couldn’t trust them anymore. Bayley knew that the weeks leading up to Mania were going to be brutal she’d have to go after those she cared about. And given what Damage Control had done to the women’s division she knew that help wouldn’t be easy to find.

Every week she’d be looking over her shoulder waiting for an attack and every time it came, she felt like she was losing sanity. Bayley felt like she couldn’t trust anyone, not even the person who had been there from the start of it all from the moment she joined the main Roster. Her girlfriend Y/n. Someone she cared for more than anyone else she worked with.

After Bayley had limped to the locker room and changed after another attack she came out and spotted Iyo and Dakota talking to y/n. Her heart broke and not thinking in her right mind Bayley knew she needed to watch herself, even if that meant pushing Y/n away.

“Have you seen Bayley?”

Y/n asked for the fifth time to one of her coworkers when her girlfriend hadn’t returned any of her texts or calls. She wanted to be sure the other woman was alright after what happened in the ring and still hadn’t been able to reach or find her.

“Zelina! Please have you seen Bayley? I’ve been looking all over for her, and I haven’t been able to find her.”

“Yeah, I saw her limping outside to an uber, I thought the two of you left together?”

“We were supposed too that’s why I drove the rental here, but she must have been hurting really badly and just didn’t bother to wait.”

“Possible she did look to be in a bit of pain medical probably told her to just take it easy and rest. Let me know if you need anything once you check in on her.”

“Thank you I appreciate that.”

After saying goodbye to her friend Y/n continued to the parking lot and got in her rental heading for the hotel. She was still a bit concerned about why Bayley hadn’t answered any of her attempts to reach her but chalked it up to her possibly being in the shower. Once y/n finally made it to the hotel and up to their shared room she swiped the key card and peeked her head inside expecting to see Bayley laying on the bed. Instead, the room was empty, looking around the room she spotted the area that their suitcases had sat and only hers was there. A heavy feeling began to grow in her stomach as she searched for a note, finally she spotted one on a piece of hotel paper.

Dear y/n, I know you’re probably freaking out right now wondering where I am and what’s going on. Don’t worry about me, I just need some space to think. I seen Dakota and Iyo talking to you after I got cleaned up and I just can’t risk another person I care about turning on me. I know it’s not fair to just assume you would, but I need to be careful. I’m sorry if this hurts you but I need to do what’s best to ease my mind until this whole thing with Iyo and Damage Control is over. I don’t have anyone at work to support me against the four of them and if I want to be able to beat Iyo at Wrestlemania I need to be focused. Don’t take it personally but this is what I have to do. I need to protect myself and I don’t think I could take it if they used you to get to me. It would just about end me.

Bayley

Reading the note for a third time y/n sunk onto the bed staring off as she tried to think. She knew the group turning on Bayley had really shaken her confidence. That and the attacks Damage Control did while together took away every possible ally she could have. Or so she assumed, Y/n had spoken to Naomi and she felt for Bayley knowing sometimes you let things just go to your head.

Iyo and Dakota had been talking to y/n that was true, but it was only to see how Bayley was handling the storyline, she didn’t realize until this moment that it was going harder for Bayley than she imagined. Setting the note to the side y/n made the decision to respect her girlfriend and give the space she was asking for even if it was hard. And the three weeks that followed were very hard, seeing Bayley struggling on tv despite having Naomi’s help. Hearing her backstage trying to make amends so someone could take care of the rest of Damage Control so she could deal with Iyo. It wasn’t easy for y/n to sit by and watch, seeing the dismay on her face at every rejection.

When Jade, Bianca and Naomi decided to team up and fight Damage Control at Mania you were relieved. Now she could hopefully have some peace of mind going into her match. Y/n still hadn’t received any more text messages from her apart from the occasional check in text. It made her feel a little better knowing she still cared enough to look in after her girlfriend. The bed was lonely at night and deep-down part of her was hurt that Bayley didn’t trust her enough to know she’d never turn on her.

So, it was much to her surprise when she got a knock on the hotel door at nearly eleven thirty after the first night of Wrestlemania. When y/n saw that it was Bayley on the other side she opened the door confused.

“Bayley? What are you doing here?”

“I needed to see you, can I come in?”

“Yes of course come on.”

Stepping back, she let the other woman in the room and gently closed the door behind her, watching as Bayley looked around the room. Y/n couldn’t help noticing the dark circles under her eyes but remained silent.

“I’m so sorry y/n I’m so damn sorry.”

She said as tears sprung to her eyes and she covered her face, y/n frowned walking over and just as she started wrapping her arms around her. Bayley’s legs gave out, y/n quickly did her best to lift her and got them onto the bed where she held her girlfriend close.

“You’re okay, you’re just tired and you need to let it out you’ve been driving yourself crazy these last few weeks and you’re probably nervous about tomorrow.”

“I’m scared I’m not going to be able to do it, I think I can but I just part of me is scared I’m going to fail and lose this moment.”

“Don’t worry I’m right here and we can work it out together.”

Y/n said holding her still as they laid there her whispering soft words to Bayley as she did her best to console her.

[cumulo-stratus]

BAU autism headcannons

(GIF NOT MINE)

(male reader)

CW: possible swearing, mentions of meltdowns and overstimulation, lemme know if theres anything else!

A/N: sry i havent rly posted in a while, i started a school recently and its been a rly big change for me so ive just been emotionally/mentally exhausted like all the time, but i dont wanna abandon u guys so i decided i would get something up, even if its not super good, thanks for y’all’s understanding <3

i think both JJ and Emily would become sort of mothers to reader

(not that they werent already mothers to the rest of the team but reader especially)

like JJ would totally have a motherly instinct for readers needs (like a sort of spider sense)

like if your ever nervous about something being too much or being overwhelming, jj would kinds know this and either make arrangements for accommodations or make sure you know you dont have to go if you want to.

and like she definitely wold put herself in charge of keeping your safe foods stashed on the jet and at the office

emily is more of a mother in a protective way than jj is

like this girl will not hesitate at all to go off on someone for maybe being disrespected to about stimming your chair while thinking

or like if you dont want to shake a police officers hand when your being introduced, and you get dirty/weird looks for it, or anyone comments on it? BOOM this girl will stare at them with so much animosity they’ll be scared of her shes so hot oml

anyways i thinks he team would be super accepting of you, especially if you joined after reid like they would already have some experience with autism

and like if you weren’t ent comfortable telling anyone other than hotch(i feel like it would be like a in ur file thing idk how the government works tho) spencer would defo be able to tell and confront u privately abt it (our respectful king <3)

and if you are comfortable telling the team, everyone would be respectful

i think like rossi/gideon would be a little clueless but like trying their hardest

like rossi would have no idea what stimming is but understands that like you move in certain ways or make certain noises when ur excited

and like with all his money he wouldnt hesitate to spoil u with any fidget toy u need/want or like a rly nice weighted blanket (its insane how expensive those things are)

and like gideon despite his profound understanding of others (hope yall got that ;)) he wouldn’ t get why sometimes you dont feel like/cant talk but totally respects it

omg garcia is our autism ally QUEEN im telling you

always has a big basket of fidgets/stim toys sitting on her desk and when your having a rough day shell leave you a little goodie in a brightly colored and decorated bag

i firmly believe that she is the queen at finding brands with clothes that not only fits your style perfectly but is also sensory friendly

i think she would definitely say that if she never ended up working in the FBI she wouldve started a clothing shop for sensory friendly clothing/accessories

spencer would totallllyyyy be your best friend when it comes to being under-stimulated

he will totally info dump on you and vice-versa

spencer (like penlope) would totally recommend clothing brands that are sensory friendly, but sock brands in particular

and everyone makes fun of you for nerding out over everything

also spencer would definitely get in the habit of grabbing your hands in his when you start to pick a t your nails and cuticles

like he didnt even realize what he was doing the first time but now he does it without thinking about it and for the team its normal

“hey,” and he would gently grab your hands to stop you from picking at them

“sorry..”

”youve nothing to be sorry for” (with that little reid smile oml rf[osifjgturhv)

and i also firmly believe that morgan is the best people to go to if your having a meltdown

he would stop you from harmfully stimming

“hey sugar, unclench those pretty little hands for me. there we go… good job kid.” he would have the softest smile and voice

and when he takes your hands to stop you from hitting yourself his grip is rly firm but gentle

but hotch is the best to go to for when your overstimulated

like he would make sure you know his office is always a quiet place you can go to with out questions

and he would secretly have a stash of like stimm toys in his office that he stole from garcia

his couch is always open to you, especially like late at night if you are really tired his fatherly instincts will kick in and force you to come to his office for a break

he would would hand you and blanket and a stim toy

”sit. sleep”

thats all he would say in his cute little stern but actually caring voice <3

[thegamingcatmom]

Mutualll 😋🙌🏾 how are you doinggg? I hope you’re doing great, or good at least.

Ok, so basically am asking this because it’s consumed my mind since I saw this specific thing in your repost about Miranda’s baby fever. It’s basically about Eva wanting a sibling.

Do you think that Miranda is the type of lover who doesn’t let you do really anything when you’re pregnant? LIKE, I can’t explain how many times my brain has brought it up.

Like honestly would Miranda be even accepting of you doing the usual things you did before pregnancy that required labor? Especially since she obviously was pregnant herself at one point so she knows how it feels.

Just imagining Miranda dotting all over you and being by your side almost 24/7 (along with her little twin, Eva) to make sure you and her unborn baby are okay.

(Also, am not leaving your head 🙅🏾‍♀️ stealing and sharing your thoughts around the clock)

Hiii there! 🤗

I´m doing good, thanks for asking! Hbu??

I mean, listen-

I think Miranda is the type of lover who doesn´t let you do much in general, lol. Miri spends most of her time working, so I doubt she´d want any "distractions" when she does allow herself a break. She expects her love to be...there, yknow what I´m saying? If it was up to Miri (which...it kinda is), you would probs be sitting somewhere all day long, doing nothing but looking pretty for her. 🫠

(Who can blame her when you do it so well...)

So yes, I defo believe Miranda is the type of lover who won´t let you lift a finger when pregnant with her child. Like...excuse?

"Sit your ass back down, right this instant."

...

Jk.

That´s not what she´d say.

Because she wouldn´t say anything.

She´d just...stare.

And stare some more.

...

And some more.

...

...

...

MC: *sits*

Miranda: *slowly tilts her head in approval*

LISTEN-

When you´ve got a presence like Miranda, no words are needed. 🫠

Oh, and you can bet there´d be SO much doting. I´m talking soft kisses on that swollen belly, and massaging those tender muscles that are all sore from carrying her child, and slowly swaying together with your foreheads touching and her hands gently grasping your hips, and her crows might just pop out to join the party, cawing softly at you as they sit on your shoulders with their heads tucked under your chin, gently clattering their beaks in absolute rapture at their mate and the life growing inside-

...

Y´know what´s even sexier though?

Miri doing a complete 180 the moment she´s faced with literally anyone else.

.

.

.

Thanks a lot for your ask! 💋

(Have fun in my head. It´s a mess, lemme tell ya. ;P)