#legs are still a huge weakness for me but nothing that cant be solved

[turnedpalefromlackofsun]

[pearlyfuckingdolores]

101 reasons why im not going to eat for 20 days:

1. I am fat. I am just so fat and ugly. 

2. when im skinny I will be able to wear WHATEVER I want 

3. I cant leave my bed when I am this fat, I will finally be able to go out and enjoy myself in the summer. 

4. my birthday is coming up and if im not skinnier than I was last year then im going to kms

5. finally people will be able to lift me up without me weighing a tonne

6. I will have more defined cheek bones

7. I will be able to walk in front of people without them looking at me and thinking how fat I am

8. I will look like I don't eat

9. everything will be okay when im happy 

10. I cant be fat and happy, that dosent exists 

11. I will look so good in mini skirts and little dresses 

12. people wont be calling me ‘healthy’ looking 

13. I will look scarily skinny if I don't eat

14. eating only makes me sad so why the fuck would I ever eat? 

15. ill drop so much weight so fat, and everyone will wonder how I done it so fkn well 

16. I wont feel ugly under my skin

17. it will motivate me to go longer without eating 

18. I will be happy 

19. I will be able to leave my bed and go into school everyday without having to worry about how fat I look

20. people will think I finally look skinny, I wont be the fat girl anymore 

21. my vison will be blurry when I stand and I will be faint all the time, I love that feeling 

22. I will always be weak and have no energy, I love feeling like this coz it means im doing something right 

23. I will finally be HUNGRY. im never hungry now coz I always eat like a fat pig, hunger is a sign of success.

24. I will finally be at my first goal weight 

25. my goal for my birthday is 45kg 

26. I wont be sad 

27. I will be closer to looking like my thinspo 

28. I will be able to wear a bikini

29. I will have a much bigger thigh gap

30. my stomach wont look all fat and disgusting 

31. my thighs wont look fat when I sit down (and they wont look fat when I stand either but yh) 

32. all my clothes will be baggy on me

33. I will feel motivated to loose more weight 

34. my fingers will be boney and slim

35. I will be able to wear rings on my slim fingers without them looking like fucking sausages 

36. my arms will be boney and skinny 

37. you will finally be able to see my rib cage 

38. collar bones showing 

39. hips bones showing 

40. I will have a teeny tiny stomach and waist

41. I wont be the chunk friend anymore 

42. I will be the skinniest out of all of my friends 

43. I will feel confident and beautiful 

44. everything about me will be small 

45. my face will be more defined, no more double chin ! 

46. I will look skinny in everything I wear

47. at the end of the day I will still look skinny 

48. I wont be a sweaty pig anymore 

49. I wont feel fat hanging off me 

50. I will be able to stick my hand through my thighs without it touching them

51. I will look like a model 

52. everything about me will be perfect, I need perfection ! 

53. I will feel so cleansed and fresh after the fast

54. april is a binge free month so im going to really be sticking to this diet 

55. if other people can do it, then why the fuck cant I?

56. I want to be the best at not eating, I want to win 

57. I don't want to feel like a beached whale 

58. I will be able to wear baggy clothes and oversized jumpers without it making me look even bigger, it will look cuuute 

59. I wont have the urge to binge anymore 

60. it will just make me more and more determined to get to my goal 

61. I will finally reach my first goal weight maybe even better it if I do 20 days with no food and I will finally be out of this binge purge cycle that im In 

62. I will be able to wear all the cute dresses I brought for summer 

63. I will be able to wear crop tops and bralettes without my fat body hanging out 

64. I wont want to die anymore

65. I wont cry myself to sleep at night 

66. I wont feel uncomfortable in my own body 

67. I wont feel trapped 

68. I will be able to go out everday in my summer holidays and be enjoy myself, whereas if I eat I will spend every day crying in my bed about how fat I am and nothing will get solved 

69. PROM PROM PROM PROM PROM PROM !!!!!! I need to be 40kg for fucking prom

70. im just going to end up ODing if I don't get to my goal weight coz this just sint fun anymore 

71. I will be able to wear the cute jackets I brought myself 

72. starvation is success 

73. I wont look fat in pictures 

74. I want to be a model, I cant be a model if I look like this 

75. beauty might take pain but im strong and I have determination. I will get what I want and I wont let anything stop me 

76. im not going to let fat beat me. im going to beat obesity. 

77. if not now then when? 

78. if I don't stop eating now, im just going to keep piling on the pounds and its only going to make it harder and harder for me to get to my goal weight.

79. its so close to summer now, I need to loose the weight before it gets too late 

80. im so fucking sad being like this, living inside this fat body just feels so fucking painful and id rather be dead. but if I do something about it then I wont have to feel like this. 

81. I will be able to fit into size 0 

82. I wont be able to grab all my fat into my hands, it wont exist coz ill be skin and bone 

83. no body likes me when I look like this. I look like a oaf, chunky lumpy and fucking huge 

84. I want to be able to wear skimpy clothes and not have to cover myself up in trackies forever 

85. if I don't fix the problem now, then its never going to get fixed 

86. im scared if I don't get really skinny really soon then ana might leave me and if she does I wont have the motivation to loose weight quick enough 

87. I will be the thinspo, instead of the fat girl looking it 

88. I wont have to keep doing this, crying myself in my room on my own coz im too fat to go out and be seen by anyone 

89. no more bloating 

90. I have wanted to be skinny for my whole life, but iv only wanted that calorie packed food for 5 mins. so why eat it? 

91. I will be able to wear leggings and anything fitted without it making my body looking fat and ugly 

92. skinny girls are pretty 

93. I will be able to fit my hands round my legs and arms 

94. I will feel amazing in my new body 

95. when I see people who I haven't seen in a while they will be so shocked at how much weight iv lost 

96. the satisfaction of getting on the scales and seeing how much weight iv lost 

97. I will be the best ana if I can fast for 20 days 

98. it will be my longest fast yet and I will feel so proud 

99. each pound that goes down is my happiness going up

100. I don't want anything more for myself that to be skinny 

101. EVERYTHING WILL BE PERFECT IF I HAVE CONTROL AND BE STRONG - RESIST OR REGRET 

[hoetron]

okay christ i got tagged in htis massive tag game by @mothable but i love a good ol challenge lets do this buckfucks

RULES: ANSWER THESE 88, THEN TAG SOME PEOPLE

BASICS:

a. NAME AND PRONOUNS: Rae, she/her

b. AGE (and birthday!): 13, Aug 28th :3c im a fucking fetus ny’all

c. SEXUALITY: am i bi? am i lesbian? am i just craving existential death 24/7? i dont fucking know a thing my guy

d. GENDER: cis female hooooh

e. COUNTRY: AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE OI OI OI

f. FAVORITE AESTHETIC: pastel colours and really nice fashion i guess..??? (also smoking is kind of aesthetic eyes emoji eyes emoji)

TRIGGERS/MENTAL ILLNESSES: i’m not actually sure :x

THE LAST:

1. DRINK: salt water hah normal water is for the WEAK (dont drink salt water please im begging y

2. PHONE CALL: my brother asking what kind of pizza i wanted

3. TEXT MESSAGE: “:3c” im such a fufcking furry...fuckck,,,,

4. SONG YOU LISTENED TO: Daydream warriors by Aquors listen nyall im reconnecting with my hidden buried weebass side of me okay im crying

5. THE TIME YOU CRIED: i dont actually remember? probably like last year unless you count me having tears from laughing too hard as cryng then thats yesterday during the meme aka now called lightning mcqueen server

HAVE YOU:

6. DATED SOMEONE TWICE: nahh

7. KISSED SOMEONE AND REGRETTED IT: dont think ive ever kissed someone thats not my family before im #Pure

8. BEEN CHEATED ON: nope lmao

9. LOST SOMEONE SPECIAL: my grandfather i guess? but he died when i was really young so at that time i didnt really undersyand the feeling of loss and mourn so ksdjfk but we had some goodass memories together

10. BEEN DEPRESSED: they ask you how you are and you just have to say that you’re fine when you’re not really fine but you just cant get into it because they would never understa

11. GOTTEN DRUNK AND THROWN UP: im severely underaged please

TOP 3 FAVORITE COLORS

12. red

13. yellow

14. either black or lavendar,,

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. MADE NEW FRIENDS: yis

16. FALLEN OUT OF LOVE: ya,,

17. LAUGHED UNTIL YOU CRIED: okay im known as the most giggly person in class i laugh so easily that i easily have tears over everything

18. FOUND OUT SOMEONE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU: nahh dont think i wanna know if its like in a bad way :x

19. MET SOMEONE WHO CHANGED YOU: aw y e s

20. FOUND OUT WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE: ya :,) (Thanks em, lily, mae and imogen for making this year truly greater than last year and for being the best friends i could ever ask for)

21. KISSED SOMEONE ON YOUR FACEBOOK LIST: facebook is dead to me

GENERAL

22. HOW MANY OF YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE: serious facebook is dead to me i roasted above the flames of negligence (also because i have like two facebook accounts one using my pesonal email and the other using my more general email , the one using my more general email keeps recommending to me my OWN personal account and its personally so hilarious)

23. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS: a cat called lucky! (i love him even though im p sure he hates me)

24. DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME: i guess my irl name uhhh im 50-50 with it? but granted on the internet i waaay prefer using the name Rae over my irl one because its short and simple and nice-

25. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOU LAST BIRTHDAY: just want to a chinese resturant with my fam and my uncle because we’re simple that way and like. back then i didnt had that much friends so uh l m a o (but vidhi gave me a nerf gun so that was Really Cool and i love her)

26. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP TODAY: 9 oclocK BECAUSE A HOUSING AGENT WAS COMING OVER (but then i fell back to sleep and woke up at 12 so lmao)

27. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT: watching a video on why ‘anime art isnt technically allowed in art school’ because i was just curious and then drawing 

28. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN’T WAIT FOR: VOLTRON LEGENDARY FUCKNG DEFENDERS SEASON 3 SHIT BABES IM REA LLY FUCKING PREPARED AND NEAR END OF MONTH AVCON BECAUSE EYES EMOJI

29. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM: an hour ago lmao shes like just outside my room 

30. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE: sighs my shyness and social anxiety and awkwardness (all three of those are counted in a pack right? the pack of “socially inept” people)

31. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW: daydream warriors... by aquors..... (listen im RECONNECTING with my weeb side like said above im actually weeping)

32. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO A PERSON NAMED TOM: uh idk mate

33. SOMETHING THAT IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES: i havent brushed my teeth yet but im lazy to move my legs lmao

LOST QUESTIONS

34. MOLE(S): um quite a lot like a few small ones on my arm and like one on my face below my right eye and theres one underneath my boob i think lmao tmi and the rest i cant be bothered to find

35. MARK(S): a kind of burnt scar mark on my left shoulder from like 6/7 years ago when i got too close to someone smoking and their cigarette burnt me oh and a scar on my knee from the time i fell off my bike while playing bike catching in the neighbourhood with a couple of other friends like 4 years ago?

36. CHILDHOOD DREAM: vet (now im eh about that tho im probably just going to pursue some art career)

37. HAIR COLOR: brown eyy

38. LONG OR SHORT HAIR: long

39. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE: yeah. hopefully its dying down now especially since the person is straight (its hard when she sits next to you in class and you guys are sort of friends now and u somehow feel really satisfied when you make her laugh :,) shit )

40. WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: im generally kind with people regardless of whether or not i dont like them or i dont know them well or i know them i guess? (at least in my group of friends im probably the most willing to socialise with others) and uhhhh i guess i can make people laugh? im a huge fucking loser meme nyall

41. PIERCINGS: none and personally dont really want to 

42. BLOODTYPE: shit  i think it was either a B or an O i cant remember (i think its B tho)

43. NICKNAME(S): maggie, migi, bela, bob, bobbo

44. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: single pringle 

45. ZODIAC: virgo

46. PRONOUNS: she/her (lmao yay for repeated question)

47. FAVORITE TV SHOW: fuckngin,,, voltron,,, (probably going to stay my favourite for a long while tho)

48. TATTOOS: none atm (unless you count waterbase tattos then yes stick all the water based tattos on me) but like when im Much Older maybe? just a really small tattoo tho not anything big that covers an entire limb

49. RIGHT OR LEFT HAND: right

50. SURGERY: had a surgery on my foot forgot which side when i was in kindergarten because the skin was *censored for tmi* and yah stitching up your skin fucking hurt babes

51. HAIR DYED A DIFFERENT COLOR: nahhh i dont think id dye my hair tho who knows

52. SPORT: im probably going to retake up basketball again eyes emoji eyes emoji

53. VACATION: ooMMF nothing planned so far

54. PAIR OF TRAINERS: like uhhh what kind of sneakers?? just normal canvas sneakers i guess????? im, what.

MORE GENERAL

55. EATING: OXYGEn

56. DRINKING: IN OXYGEN

57. I’M ABOUT TO: complete this fucking 88  questions then chat on discord and scroll tumblr and tell myself “hey finish up your art!” but then 5 hours later im still scrolling tumblr. oh and im watching wonder woman later so :3c

58. WAITING FOR: nothing atm i guess?

59. WANT: my family’s financial situation to be solved and so that money isnt going to be a huge bother anymore...

60. GET MARRIED: sounds nice but probably only marriage idk the idea of kids doesnt really sound v appealing atm

61. CAREER: artist! (i wanna either work in a game development team or an animation studio eyes emoji ) 

62. HUGS OR KISSES: HUGS

63. LIPS OR EYES: lips erally nice to draw really nice to look at

64. SHORTER OR TALLER: buhhh im short so i guess taller would be nice (tall people have such nice legs too im frankly a little jealous)

65. OLDER OR YOUNGER: what is this in regards to

66. NICE ARMS OR NICE STOMACH: arms so that dO YOU SEE THESE GUNS

67. SENSITIVE OR LOUD: shrug emoji idk man

68. HOOK UP OR RELATIONSHIP: relationship

69. TROUBLEMAKER OR HESITANT: troublemaker pardnyars in crime amirite

HAVE YOUR EVER:

70. KISSED A STRANGER: no

71. DRANK HARD LIQUOR: nope 

72. LOST GLASSES/CONTACT LENSES: yeah p sure i had to go through a whole day of school half blind once without my glasses

73. TURNED SOMEONE DOWN: nah..

74. SEX ON THE FIRST DATE: nO IM 1 3 

75. BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART: dont think so?

76. HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN: nah babes

77. BEEN ARRESTED: nah

78. CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED: somehow when someone dies i decide to laugh instead of breaking down in tears i guess laugh away the pain?

79. FALLEN FOR A FRIEND: ...shit its a bad idea babes dont do it

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

80. YOURSELF: shrug emoji

81. MIRACLES: sometimes? sometimes no?

82. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: even bigger shrug emoji

83. SANTA CLAUS: nah lmao listen i caught my father and mother wheeling in bicycles for my sister and i when i was like what 8? usually i just played along because hey i was a child

84. KISS ON THE FIRST DATE: ehh depends i guess

85. ANGELS: not really lmao

OTHER

86. CURRENT BEST FRIENDS NAME(S): Emily, Mae Shuen and Lily

87. EYECOLOR: dark brown?

88. FAVORITE MOVIE: this changes all the time

only tagging uhhh @pluminkdot (KASJD I FORGOT IF YOU HAD A MAIN REBLOG ACC IM SORRY RACH), @jaspereffect , @blabrabs / @spaceboomerang (it isnt letting me tag ur main boomers skldfjksd) and uh im too lazy for the rest