#left the country for the first time ever - 8 countries in 3 weeks | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

fandomscombine · 2 months ago

Text

Maybe This Time

Aaron Hotchner x Reader

BG: Aaron Hotchner has been a constant in your life since university and as you both journey in your prosecutor career. But what happens when he has been given the opportunity of his dreams to be part of the BAU on the other side of the country? How will your dynamic change? Especially when feelings are put into the mix.

Fluff part for now, before the angst. Enjoy the build up, young Hotch and obliviousness to feelings.

A/N: First ever Aaron Hotchner fic since something clicked in my brain and this man has me in a chokehold. Okay when I started writing this, I was at the beginning of Season 4 of Criminal Minds after a year long hiatus (aka didn’t have Disney+), so please excuse if it’s a bit out of character and that it doesn’t align with canon. No Haley and Jack. Let me know what you think!

Inspired by the song Maybe This Time by Sarah G and a line from Ugly Betty lol.

WC: 1428

>>>GENERAL MASTERLIST<<<

>>>CRIMINAL MINDS MASTERLIST<<<

The problem with having a constant is that you don’t realize how much it means to you until something threatens it to change it.

You’re coming up to two years working at the prosecutor’s office, the feeling of helping people and solving cases is what fuels you. Though you admit, there are days where this isn’t enough to block out the misogynistic atmosphere of the office. In all honesty, you don’t think you would have lasted as long in such an environment if it weren’t for Aaron Hotchner.

What started as an academic rivalry turned into being inseparable. Nerds with an overwhelming drive to fix the world. It was actually Aaron who offered the olive branch - admitting that while the constant competition and pettiness helped him be the best self on paper, was straining his mental and physical well-being. Turns out you both have a lot in common - same taste in literature and surprisingly dead-pan humor. The man’s ability to drop unexpected one-liners is beyond you, only to be topped by his laugh albeit rare.

A genuine Aaron Hotchner chuckle easily fills an entire room as if you’re floating on a cloud - a laugh that is quite the opposite to what he just left out.

“What?”

“Yes! Can you believe it?” Aaron exclaims, releasing his hold on your shoulders. “There’s an opening at the Behavioural Analysis Unit - nothing permanent yet but they’re looking into a pool for the perfect candidate and I’ve been shortlisted!”

The training program at the BAU lasted 3 months and in that span, the excitement during the first few weeks had you and Aaron in constant communication despite him being across the country in Quantico. But as the weeks went on, the calls dwindled until there were none at all.

You were proud of your best friend, you truly are - having found an advancement in his career. Though you can’t shake off the empty feeling in your chest. You catch your mind often thinking about him lately - more than a friend should.

What is happening to you?

Aaron has been more than grateful to have this opportunity. Working under the mentorship of the BAU founders, Aaron knew coming in that the cases would be grueling. He's barely gotten a good 8 hours of sleep since he’s arrived but the nightly calls with you updating about his day was the only thing keeping him on powering through, channeling back to your school rival days. Well, at least then he would get to see your face daily - now all he has is the photo he has in his wallet.

“Suck it, Hotchner! Bow down to your superior!”

“Never!”

“Says the Magna Cum Laude to the Summa Cum Laude. Face it - it’s in writing for the world to see!” You teased, it was always a blast to have Aaron red. There was no way you were gonna let this down and Aaron knew that - charging at you before you could finish.

“Y/N L/N is smarter than Aaron Hotch-NERRRRRRRR!” Aaron picking you up and spinning caught you by surprise - hands instinctively looping around his neck.

Neither of you notice the clicking of a camera, too enclosed in your own little world.

“You’re one lucky man.” The comment breaks Aaron from his trance.

��Sir?”

“Your girlfriend, I notice you step out and look at it whenever you’re stressed” Rossi says matter of factly, patting Aaron’s shoulder. One doesn’t have to be a profiler to notice that yearning on Aaron’s face. “You know the job takes a toll on everyone and it’s rare to see the lightness after a while.”

Aaron didn’t know how to react, his stare continued even after his boss had left. Girlfriend. His brain had momentarily stopped working when he heard of the word. Someone had thought you were his girlfriend - he didn’t correct them, and it felt good.

Ever since Rossi’s comment, Aaron has been teetering back and forth about his recent discovery about himself. Because that’s the thing about you being a constant in his life, he had grouped his feelings for you and categorized them under ‘best friend’, effectively blinding himself from the evolution of his feelings.

How can he be a good profiler when he can’t even read his own emotions? Does she even feel the same way?

But that’s not even the biggest elephant in the room.

“Congratulations!” Hugging him tightly, your next words are muffled by his chest. “I know you've wanted this for so long.” Tilting your head up to meet his eyes, “I’m so proud of you.”

“I wouldn’t have gotten it if you didn’t push me in sending my application.” Aaron’s hold on your waist tightens, not wanting to let you an inch away from him. Aaron has just gotten back from a 6-hour flight from Quantico, his body begging for rest but his heart aching for your presence.

The longing of months apart running through his brain and the next thing he knows, his feet have taken him to your apartment at 2 in the morning instead.

“Aaron?” you called, breaking him from his trance. “What’s on your mind?”

Aaron could help but chuckle. Of course even when he showed up unannounced and woke you up in the dead of night. Your first concern was about him.

Coming from a strict family and being the oldest, having someone worry about him was uncommon. So when these moments arrive, it hits him with full force.

“Nothing…” He exhales, tucking the stray hairs behind your ear. Aaron hopes you don’t feel how shaky his hands are as he does so.

You raise your brows at him. Aaron might be a man of few words, but you’ve known him long enough to know when he is holding back.

He sighs, the room is quiet and any wrong move would break the balance. Aaron cups your cheek, glancing from your lips to your eyes. He steels himself to lay his discovery out in the open. “It’s just…you’re so captivatingly beautiful.”

Your eyes widen. Is he saying what you think he’s saying? Aaron has called you pretty in the past, but there was an air of playfulness then compared to this whispered statement.

With the tension increasing ten-fold with each word. “These past few months, I was working at my dream job yet I couldn’t feel the best because you weren’t by my side. Each night I looked forward to hearing your voice, whether it’s about how your day went or what you thought about the latest movie. And it killed me inside when the calls stopped…”

Aaron gulped, pausing to blink back tears that threaten to fall.

Reaching up to grab his hand, you placed a kiss on his palm. Silently urging him to carry on and to say ‘me too’.

“I felt so guilty… then one day my boss caught me staring at a picture of us. He said that I was lucky to have a lovely girlfriend as an anchor to help in this grueling job and… I didn’t correct him.”

“You didn’t correct him?”

“I didn’t.” Aaron was now looking at his feet- embarrassed, mentally preparing for the rejection that was to come for letting his mind wander to the possibility of something more with you. He had crossed the line and placed his heart in your hands. “ At first I didn’t know how to react, you are my best friend, my constant support. But at that moment, everything became clearer.” Aaron confessed, however your response may be he will accept even if it would be the last ever time he gets to hold you in his arms. “Y/N. You’re my best friend, my constant support and I adore you.”

A beat passes as you process his words.

“I’m sorry to spring this on you considering the circumstances. I understand if you want to keep a distance and not want to see me again.” Aaron steps back, takes one last look at you before turning to pick up his bag and leave.

But as his hand reaches the doorknob, he is abruptly turned and pushed against the door. His gasp of pain is muffled by the crashing of your lips. Aaron drops his bag and instinctively pulls you closer. Air to breathe and the doorknob pocking his back be damned.

You were the first to pull away just enough that your lips brush each other’s. “I know you’re leaving in five months. And I know everyone’s gonna say it’s a big mistake. And I’m gonna get my heart broken but maybe it’s worth it.”

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner fluff #aaron hotch hotchner #criminal minds fic #criminal minds #criminal minds fluff #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotch x reader #fandomcombine writes

95 notes · View notes

arimiadev · 20 days ago

Text

recommendations of visual novels on sale for the steam winter sale 2024

steam's winter sale just started and will run for the next two weeks, so if you're looking for a new visual novel to try (or want to get into them), here's a lot that I've played that are on sale on steam.

umineko when they cry

the ushiromiya family returns to the family head's home on an isolated island for their annual conference with the intention of settling how his vast amount of wealth is divided. instead, though, a letter is left from someone claiming to be a "witch". with the ushiromiyas dropping dead left and right, the mystery behind everything remains to be solved by you, the reader.

I can't make a recommendation list without mentioning umineko. it's life changing. it might even trans your gender. it's hard to describe umineko, but just know that it's absolutely deserving of the "cult classic" tag.

notes:

kinetic/linear - no choices

VERY long, 120+ hours (over all 8 episodes)

divided into two games on steam - Questions Arcs is the first 4 episodes and Answers Arcs is the last 4 episodes (8 episodes in total, play Questions Arcs first)

created by Ryukishi07, creator of Higurashi

fantasy vs mystery

ace attorney

follow phoenix wright as he embarks on his career as a lawyer to help people. meet a variety of clients and prove their innocence by collecting evidence, interviewing witnesses, and exposing lies in court.

ace attorney is a classic mystery visual novels, being a blend of point-and-click elements via investigations and visual novel storytelling. the steam port is a massive collection, combining the first 3 games (the original phoenix wright trilogy) as 1 game.

notes:

investigative gameplay segments, a good chunk of the story is point-and-click parts

pretty long for the whole trilogy- each game is around 20 hours long and the steam edition is 3 games

modern mystery with supernatural elements

ai: the somnium files

play as detective kaname date as he hunts down a serial killer using a cutting-edge technology which allows him to "psync" with a person, diving into the memories of others to solve crimes in a limited amount of time with the help of his AI assistant/eyeball Aiba.

aitsf is a lot. it's probably the raunchiest non-eroge game I've ever played and despite my low tolerance for dirty jokes I found most of it to be laughable and a fun experience, though I did play this with friends. if it's a miss for you, it's gonna miss you by a wide margin, but if it's a hit for you, you're going to be recommending it nonstop. either way you'll want to hit kaname date with a car.

notes:

long, around 25-35 hours

this game heavily relies on going back to prior choices via their branching menu to try other options in order to get the full story (and true ending). there are several endings to this game but you're meant to play through them all, not just one or two.

a lot of gameplay and interactive segments

sci-fi mystery

english voice acting

witch on the holy night

aoko aozaki is a highschooler who has to balance her class president, perfect grades life with her secret afterschool life of being a mage—a secret she has to keep at the risk of death. keeping this balance already isn’t easy but one day she gets a wrench thrown into it with the introduction of a transfer student, soujuurou shizuki, a country boy so out of touch that he’s never seen electricity before.

I love witch on the holy night so, so much. it's one of the most beautifully directed visual novels ever made with so much love and care put into each frame. the cast is wonderful (touko my beloved) and it's a must-read for anyone who likes modern-ish fantasy.

notes:

kinetic / linear - no choices

long, around 25-30 hours

originally written by kinoko nasu, one of the co-founders of type-moon and creators of fate/stay night. has some relation to tsukihime and garden of sinners but you don't need any knowledge of those going in

modern-ish (1980s) fantasy with lots of talking about magic

ghostpia

a snowy town filled with "ghosts" is where the young woman sayako finds herself trapped, feeling like she doesn't belong and wants to leave this town where no one dies.

it's hard to describe ghostpia. it's a surreal-ish story about "ghosts" where every character is quirkier than the last but every part is made with so much heart behind it. you never really know where the story is going, but unfortunately only 1 season is currently out on steam.

notes:

medium length, around 10 hours

very innovative and unique use of visuals and paneling

surreal-ish (sometimes violent) fantasy

please be happy

as a shapeshifting fox called a "gumiho", miho has traveled the world in search for a traveler who showed her kindness many years ago. afraid of sticking around in one place for too long, miho has never stayed anywhere for more than a few nights- but all of that changes when she arrives in wellington, new zealand and meets the barista/writer aspen and the vampire archivist juliet.

okay I did work on this one but hear me out. please be happy was a labor of love for our team that took over 3 years to make and is a slice of life story about love, trust, and what it means to be human. and you get to play as a gay fox girl voiced by dottovu.

notes:

medium to long, about 20 hours

2 romanceable ladies, aspen and juliet, and a plethora of side characters to meet via a map system

modern slice-of-life fantasy

english voice acting

WE KNOW THE DEVIL

find yourself back at summer camp with all the queer religious horror of it.

WE KNOW THE DEVIL is a short, atmospheric and slightly surreal story about 3 teens at a religious summer camp waiting for the devil. if you want something that feels familiar and otherworldly at the same time, this is right up your alley.

notes:

very short, about 2 hours

3 endings and 1 true ending

isolation, psychological horror

fate/stay night

seven mages known as masters summon heroic and fictional characters from the pantheon of history to fight it out over the ultimate magical item - the holy grail.

fate/stay night is one of the most well-known visual novel properties out there and it's finally not only available in english officially but on steam! this remaster is a treat and done with a lot of care put into it, it's a great way to get into the fateverse if you've never tried it before.

notes:

pretty long, 70+ hours

3 routes / heroines to be with with lots of bad endings

modern fantasy, battle royale

mamiya

the end of the world is near. what will you do in the final months? and who is this "MAMIYA" who proclaims their love for you?

MAMIYA is a dark mystery visual novel about a group of guys who meet during the funeral for a friend, a stranger, a passerby, and become entangled in the web of an entity known as "MAMIYA". the presentation and style feels fresh.

notes:

check out the content warnings before reading

medium length, but is segmented into a lot of chapters that make it easy to pick back up

dark modern mystery with supernatural elements

a date with death

the grim reaper contacts you saying he wants your soul. naturally, you respond...with flirting??

a date with death is a free game but it does have paid DLC so I'm including it here because I want to. it's a comfy chatsim romance visual novel about, well, courting the grim reaper.

notes:

short, around 8 hours for the base game

customizable protag

1 male love interest

cute modern supernatural romance

twofold

Olive has 1 last chance to graduate college - pass a filler class. when their situation comes to light, 2 club presidents agree to help them but end up dragging them in the middle of their feud...

I also worked on this one. the writing and art is truly charming and heartfelt. it's a story about romance but also relationships in general - friendships, platonic relationships, familial bonds, etc. this visual novel took several years to be completed and the final result is one made with a lot of love.

notes:

medium, around 15-20+ hours for both routes

nonbinary protagonist, 2 female love interests

modern slice-of-life, college setting

english voice acting

slay the princess

you're tasked with a simple goal - slay the princess, or else she'll destroy the world.

talk about taking a simple premise and running with it. slay the princess is a mind-bending psychological horror about love and repeating things a lot of times. after all, all you have to do is slay the princess, right?

notes:

short to medium, around 10 hours for a full run

lots and lots and lots of branching paths

psychological horror, does contain gore

english voice acting

canvas menagerie

Niko is a trans man and lifelong actor who's been down on his luck until he gets the lead role in a major TV show. there, he starts to fall for his annoying celebrity costar.

well I wrote and drew and programmed this one by myself so I can't really give an indepth recommendation for it but I think it came out pretty nice. it's a comfy gay romance about actors.

notes:

medium length, around 10-12 hours

boys love romance

modern slice-of-life, adult cast

------------

note that all of the indie visual novels listed are also available on itchio as DRM-free versions. there's a ton of VNs on sale over there right now as well.

#visual novel #visual novels #my recommendations #game recs #game recommendations #steam winter sale #steam sale

85 notes · View notes

hesbuckcompton-baby · 11 months ago

Text

I'm Your Man - Robert 'Rosie' Rosenthal x OFC - Chapter 3

AO3

Summary: In the wake of a terrible loss, the arrival of a new airman at Thorpe Abbotts promises to change the trajectory of Frankie's life forever

Warnings: Death, grief

Word Count: 3.9k

Tags: @mads-weasley @xxluckystrike @curaheehee @footprintsinthesxnd @dcyllom @storysimp @latibvles

A/N: HE'S HEREEEE 🗣🗣🗣

It was dark in the mechanics' hut, the lights kept off during the day to preserve power, but the overcast nature of the afternoon did nothing to light the space from the outside. Hours had passed since the pilots had left, and although Frankie was never made privy to the specifics of their missions, she could tell by the amount of fuel that had been requested that they were going far, much further than they ever had before. There was not a man among them who hadn't seemed to have a dark cloud over his head as they had prepared to depart that morning.

She and Lemmons sat on the floor together, backs propped up against the wall, both too troubled by worry to work. Frankie had an old fashion magazine in her lap, and they passed the time by flicking through each section and poking fun at a myriad of ugly sweaters and ridiculous hats.

"Those are nice," Ken stated, pointing at a pair of green brogued shoes.

"Seriously? I think they're garish."

He shrugged. "My Fonda has some like it. They look nice on her."

She let out a low whistle, teasingly nudging his side as his face turned bright red, a satisfied smile curling his lips. For a boy as young as he was, he sure loved Fonda. Frankie had noticed the heart-shaped locket that hung from his neck the very first day they'd worked together, but it had taken weeks for him to let her have a look inside. It must have been nice to be loved the way she was.

The magazine was losing its charm. It had been over an hour, and they were running out of pages. With a huff, she tossed it across the room, landing in a heap of crumpled pages underneath the table. Ken looked over at her, raising a brow.

She shrugged. "Bored. Want a cigarette?"

Without waiting for an answer, Frankie dug around in her pocket and produced two loose, slightly bent cigarettes, passing one to Lemmons. She lit hers swiftly, taking in an inhale of smoke. He rolled his between his fingers, never bothering to light it. Sometimes she forgot he didn't smoke.

"I'm gonna take you for a drink tonight. We deserve it."

"I'm nineteen."

Frankie stared at him for a long moment. "...So?"

"So, I can't drink."

"Jesus Christ. Welcome to England mate, you might be the only nineteen-year-old currently in the country who doesn't already have a drinking problem."

He opened his mouth to respond, but before the words could emerge they were interrupted by a rapid knocking at the door. Far from the usual pounding thuds the men usually used, this knock was delicate, polite, but its urgency set Frankie's heart to beating twice as fast.

Scrambling to her feet, she rushed for the door, tossing her cigarette into the ashtray on the table as she passed. Hauling it open, a wave of nausea coursed through her as she saw George standing outside, hair damp from the drizzle, tie pulled loose away from her neck, her eyes red and puffy from crying.

"Wh-" Frankie trailed off as she slammed into her, gripping her in the tightest hug she'd ever felt. As she wrapped her arms around George's back, she could feel her shaking beneath her palms.

George let out one sob after another, face buried in Frankie's shoulder as her tears soaked the fabric of her coveralls. Looking back over at Lemmons, their gazes met in wide-eyed expressions of anxiety, and if George hadn't been crying so loudly Frankie was sure the thumping of her heart would've been audible.

"George- George," She spoke firmly, hands pressed to George's cheeks as she forced her to meet her eye. To be so harsh to a woman who needed nothing but softness ripped a hole through her, the guilt churning her stomach, but she needed to know. "Tell me what happened."

She nodded hurriedly, wiping her tears away with the backs of her hands. "They made it to Africa - we started getting messages through about an hour ago, but, uh..." George's lip trembled, and she sucked in a long, haggard breath. "Curt's dead, Frankie."

Lemmons let out some sort of strangled gasp as Frankie felt all of the blood drain from her face. For a moment she didn't know how to process the words, she just knew she needed to hold George - to hold her tight, tighter than anyone ever had. There was not an inch between them as she stroked a gentle hand through her golden hair, trying with all her might to keep breathing as she felt a warm tear roll down her cheek.

Over George's shoulder, she spied Ken making for the door, a frown casting a shadow over his boyish face. He met her eyes, and she offered him a nod, freeing him from the scene so he could inevitably tell the others.

The two women held each other for a long moment, Frankie's chin burrowed against George's collar. When she finally spoke, it was little more than a hoarse whisper, her throat suddenly dry as a bone.

"...And Bucky?"

Sniffing loudly, George pulled back, shaking her head. "No, no, he's okay. He made it to Algeria." Frankie hadn't released she was holding her breath until she let it escape her, raising a hand to cover her mouth as she nodded.

"Yeah? Yeah. Alright," She could worry about the others later - for now, knowing Egan was alive was enough to settle her drumming heart. "You need to go home, ok? You need to rest."

"My shift's not over, I still have to-"

"I am gonna walk up there myself and tell them you're not coming back today. Not tomorrow, neither. And if they've got a problem with that they can take it up with me - believe me, I don't give a shit if I take an insubordination charge over this."

A tearful smile broke out across George's face, holding onto Frankie's hand as it cupped her cheek. "Tangling with you? I don't fancy their chances."

Frankie chuckled, pulling her into one last hug and pressing her lips firmly to her temple. "Go, go. I'll see you soon, ok?"

"Yeah," She whispered against her neck, reaching out to squeeze her hand as she broke the hug, stepping backwards towards the door and disappearing.

As soon as she was alone, Frankie sucked in a long, laboured breath, collapsing into one of the rickety chairs that surrounded the table in the middle of the room. Doubling forward, she lay her head in her hands, pressing the heels of her palms against her eyes as she focused on taking one breath after the next.

Since the war had begun, she had been cycling through phases of fear and calm, letting herself slip into the all too comfortable belief that it couldn't touch her here - couldn't take from her as long as she was home, as long as she was safe.

But God, how the world kept proving her wrong.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Almost a month had passed. Every mission took a toll, but the trip that had killed Curtis Biddick seemed to hang heavier than any other ever had.

Or perhaps it just seemed that way because of George.

Some nights Frankie would stay up late, rubbing exhaustion from her eyes as she fought to stay awake long enough to finish a chapter of her book, lit by the dim bulb of her bedside lamp. And then in the darkness she would hear a rustling, a casting aside of the course, army-issue bedsheets, and feel a weight press into the mattress beside her as George slipped under the covers, silently resting her head against Frankie's shoulder. She liked to listen to her heartbeat on the nights she felt most alone - when she felt the farthest from home, the most separated from the boy she almost loved - it brought her comfort to listen to that telltale sign of life radiating from the person closest to her. She had someone, and that was enough to live with.

Frankie had liked Curt, but she hadn't known him well. Sometimes she wished she had, if only so that she wouldn't feel so guilty, comforting her best friend over a loss she no longer felt so keenly. Instead, all she could do was softly whisper the words she was reading to her, and let her mere presence be the comfort as they both drifted off to sleep.

It had grown warm overnight, and the humidity combined with the heat of George's body burrowed close next to hers left Frankie slick with sweat by the time she woke up, her hair sticking to her neck in damp strands. Peeling the covers away as she clambered out of bed, careful not to disturb her sleeping friend, she made a beeline for the showers, hoping to wash away the unpleasant, sticky sensation that coated her skin. She was used to evening showers after a long day's work, and it felt strange to stare down at the hot water rolling off of her body and see it come away clear, clean, not streaked with the dirt and oil she was often coated with by the time she made it home each night.

Wringing her hair out with a towel as she made her way out of the bathroom, Frankie dodged the other women emerging from their beds as she reached her own area, her coveralls and workboots waiting for her on a nearby chair. George had moved back to her own bed, carefully removing each of the curlers she meticulously applied every night, just like all of the other servicewomen who were afforded the luxury of working indoors, a far cry from Frankie's reality. It wasn't that Frankie didn't like to dress up - she loved the chance to do her hair and makeup, to dress up and feel pretty for once - it just wasn't a practicality her profession afforded. Her hair needed to be out of the way, and it made no sense to waste money on makeup that would be ruined by sweat and grime within the hour.

"If Dye makes it back, there'll be a party tonight," George stated, watching her reflection as she looped her tie into a knot. "You gonna go?"

"Uh," Frankie considered this for a moment, sniffing her coveralls from the previous day and grimacing at the smell, switching them out for a clean pair. "Nah, not tonight, I don't think. I've already got some outstanding stuff from the last few days that needs sorting, it's gonna be a busy one."

"Alright, I'll see if Sandra and Helen are going."

"I'm glad you're going," Frankie smiled.

George's gaze turned to her, and she considered this for a moment before shrugging. "Can't sit here forever."

It was a fact that didn't need dwelling on, and Frankie wouldn't patronise her with praise. This was just the way their lives worked now. One by one, the women in their hut finished getting ready and left for their various jobs until Frankie was the only one left, locking up the front door as she exited. The burn that had scorched her palm had long since healed, leaving a mottled pink scar across her hand, but she could clutch the handlebars of her bike without pain now, so she had returned to her morning ritual of cycling as fast as she physically could to the airstrip, revelling in the feeling of the warm morning air blowing through her hair.

Dye's plane was swooping in as she arrived, and Frankie couldn't help but smile at the chorus of whoops and cheers that pierced the air, flight and ground crews alike lining the runway to await his valiant return. Twenty-five missions. She could barely fathom it. For as long as she could remember, planes like this had been her life, but she'd never flown in one - Dye had done it twenty-five times. The number boggled her, a reality so close to and yet so distinctly separate from her own.

"Frankie!" Lemmons called over from where he was sitting with a few of the local boys. The village kids had taken a shine to the young mechanic, and she found she rather enjoyed their presence, childish wit relieving the strain of their long working hours. She crossed the grass towards them as he spoke up again. "Gonna replace the panelling on the bombers from last week, you in?"

She shook her head, batting a hand dismissively. "Nah, you go enjoy the celebrations with the others, I'll handle it."

He frowned, a crease appearing between his brows. "You sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure, I hardly even know Dye, I'm not missing out. Take the night off, you deserve it."

A smile began to spread across his expression. "Well thanks, Frankie."

"No worries. Hey - did we get that delivery of rivets that was meant to come in?" Lemmons shook his head, and she shrugged. "Don't worry about it, I'll take a list to the boss of everything we need."

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

It was growing dark, a work light on the tarmac illuminating one of the B-17 engines as she worked away at it, a pile of scattered tools littering the ground from where she had tried and failed to toss them back into her toolbox without paying proper attention. She could hear the muffled music far off in the distance, the lights from the party casting a golden reflection against the clouds like a beacon in the night. Tightening one of the bolts, Frankie prayed to herself that George was having fun.

The sound of footsteps approaching from behind alerted her to sudden company, but she was too engrossed in her work to turn. Besides, she could already guess who it was.

"Heya, Frankie," Bucky's voice came, and she suppressed a smirk at the accuracy of her prediction.

"Evenin'."

"We missed you at the party," He stated.

"Busy," She replied, letting out a grunt as she pinched the skin of her thumb with her wrench, flapping her hand for a moment to relieve the pain.

"Just came to see ya 'cause I don't think you've met Rosie yet."

Frankie let out a sigh, sliding her wrench into her pocket, speaking as she began to turn. "Bucky, if you boys have got yourselves another fucking dog, I swear-"

There was another man there, standing next to Egan, blue eyes watching her as she stumbled over her words, trailing to an awkward stop. She had a smear of oil across her forehead from where she had absent-mindedly wiped the sweat from her brow with a filthy hand, and Bucky pursed his lips tightly as he tried not to laugh.

"Not a dog," Rosie stated, the corner of his mouth turning up in a smile.

"No," She breathed, snapping herself out of her awkwardness. "No, uh, sorry - Frankie, I'm Frankie," Holding out her hand to shake, she noticed its filthiness and grimaced, swiftly retracting it.

"Frankie's one of our mechanics," Egan explained. "She'd be happiest if we fired the rest of the ground crew and let her do the whole thing herself."

"But then who'd clean the dog shit and vomit out for me, eh?" Frankie shrugged, a pink spatter colouring her cheeks. Bucky almost frowned, taken aback by her uncharacteristically awkward demeanour.

"Look, I promised Buck I'd only be gone five minutes, so," He looked down at his watch, shrugging.

"No, no, that's fine, you have a good night," Frankie smiled, wiping her dirty palms on the sides of her trousers.

Bucky turned to leave, pausing for a moment. "Rosenthal?"

"Oh, no, I was gonna head off anyway, thanks Major," Rosie nodded, and they lingered in silence for a moment after Egan left, his silhouette disappearing into the darkness down the runway.

"Sorry I thought you were a dog," She chuckled slightly, breaking the quiet as she rubbed her thumb where she'd pinched the skin, a red mark forming.

"Well," Rosie shrugged, standing with his hands in his pockets. "Been called worse."

Frankie smiled, a flash of teeth in her grin as she glanced back at the engine for a moment, the great thing looming over her in its frame. "And... sorry Bucky dragged you all the way out here, I'm sure the party is much more interesting, and-"

"Hey, you don't have to apologise," He shook his head. With the work light shining on them, it seemed to cast a halo around her head, brown hair running golden along its edges. Even covered in filth, she must've been one of the prettiest girls he'd seen in... well, he couldn't quite recall. "How long have you been out here?"

"Uh, what time is it - eight?"

Rosie let out a laugh. "Gone midnight."

"Jesus Christ," She flashed him a tired grin. "Shit, I missed dinner."

"Well," He shrugged. "I am a Captain. Sure we can find something."

"You're on," Frankie agreed, the empty feeling in her stomach suddenly amplified once she realised how long it had been since she'd eaten. "Although, I'd better clean up first," She noted, wiping her hands on one of the engine rags.

"By the way, you've got a little-" Rosie gestured to his own forehead.

"Oh, shit," Frankie muttered, reaching up with the rag and just managing to miss the oil stain. He let out a chuckle, stepping forward.

"Here, lemme just-" She offered up the rag, and he dabbed at the stain, which less went away than it did smudge even more. He furrowed his brow as he tried to get rid of it, and she couldn't help but let out a laugh at the sheer concentration in his expression, their faces far closer than she would ever usually allow with a man she'd only just met. But there was something endearing in him, something safe. "I think... I think I got it."

"Thanks," Frankie chuckled, taking back the rag and stepping back towards the Nissen hut. "I'm just gonna wheel this engine inside and wash the crap off my hands, then we can go."

"I await your return, milady," Rosie nodded, smile turning to a cringe as she turned away from him. What was that? Don't say that!

She smiled to herself as she entered the hut, her pleased expression turning to a grimace as she got a waft of herself, the twelve-hour shift out in the sun making itself known. Oh shit.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The mess hall was completely deserted, the only light coming from the kitchens as Frankie waited patiently for Rosie to return. He had volunteered to go and scrounge for food, confident that his rank would protect them if they were discovered, and she grinned as he returned, proudly carrying a large tin of peaches and a couple of bars of ration chocolate.

"Oh, perfect. Midnight feast," She beamed, taking a seat on one of the long benches that lined the tables as he sat down opposite, producing a tin opener from his pocket.

"Food fit for kings, I'd say," Rosie agreed, wrestling with the peaches for a moment until he was able to break the lid. Producing two forks, Frankie held one out to him, using her own to skewer a slice of the orange fruit.

"I'd just like to preface this by saying that I don't usually smell like this... actually, I do," She admitted, picking at some dirt stuck beneath her nail.

"Hey, I'm not judging - you wouldn't either once you'd smelled the inside of our flight suits," He shrugged, and she let out a huff of laughter, chewing on her peach slices, a droplet of sweet juice running down her lip. "So... how long've you been a mechanic?"

"Dad's been running an auto repair shop at home since before I was born, I grew up on it," Frankie explained, skewering another slice with one hand as she unwrapped her chocolate bar with the other. "He wanted to go over to France, help fix army jeeps, but he lost his foot in the Great War so they won't take him - I was born when he was away, see, he'd been over there for six months or so when a shell went off and he lost it. So the cars were all we had. I switched to planes when I was about fifteen - bit of an impractical hobby, but I've read every single book on it they had in Stratford library," She chuckled.

"Stratford... Shakespeare, right?"

Her brow raised. "Yeah. Right. Y'know I think the only good thing about this war is that the tourist buses have stopped coming around," She joked, and Rosie laughed, nodding along as he ate. Why was she telling him all this? In the last hour, he'd found out more about her than Bucky or Lemmons had in months. But she found she didn't feel embarrassed telling him any of it, the words just flowed naturally.

They sat there in the dim mess hall eating peaches until they started to feel sick, the hands of Rosie's watch ticking steadily past 1am by the time they left, making sure to hide all evidence of their midnight raid. It had begun to rain by the time they stepped out into the night air, and before Frankie could utter a single word of complaint he had shrugged off his uniform jacket and given it to her to hold over her head, her own makeshift shelter whilst his own curls fell flat, the water leaving dark streaks down his shirt.

"Are you sure about this?" She asked for what must have been the third time as they reached the end of her row of Nissen huts, Rosie's hair soaked and plastered to his forehead, his skin almost visible through the drenched state of his clothes.

"I said stop asking," He assured her, nodding confidently despite the visible trembling in his shoulders.

"I'm just worried I'm gonna ruin your jacket."

"Well, it'd die for a worthy cause."

Frankie grinned, slowing to a stop as she reached the front door of her hut. The lights were all off inside, not a single sign of life as her bunkmates enjoyed their well-earned sleep. When she spoke again, it was in whispers, careful not to wake them even despite the hammering of rain against the metal roof.

"Thank you for dinner, it was... unexpected."

"Very," Rosie nodded in agreement, mirroring her smile. She handed over his jacket, and he folded it, tucking it beneath his arm, already well past its usefulness.

"Tomorrow's gonna be a rough morning."

"Take the day off, have a lie-in, you deserve it."

She raised a brow, and he laughed. "You know I won't."

"I suspected as much," He agreed, nodding firmly. "G'night, Frankie."

"Goodnight."

Frankie slipped carefully inside, cautious not to make a sound as she crept over to her bed, stripping off her wet coveralls as she reached quickly for her nice, warm pyjamas.

When George's whispered voice broke the silence, she swore she almost had a heart attack. "You've been... working?"

"Something like that," Frankie shrugged, taking the fact she was awake as a sign of consent to turn her lamp on, giving her the light she needed to untie her boots. "Have you met the new Captain?"

"Who, Rosenthal? No. Why?"

She didn't answer for a long moment, buttoning up her pyjama shirt before flicking off the lamp, plunging the room into total darkness as she climbed beneath the blankets, letting out a satisfied sigh at the warmth.

"He's nice."

George let the silence simmer for a moment, her tone laced with suspicion. "... Right."

#masters of the air #mota #masters of the air fic #masters of the air oc #rosie rosenthal #rosie rosenthal x oc #john egan #ken lemmons #curtis biddick #oc: frankie #oc: george #fic | i'm your man #robert rosenthal

95 notes · View notes

bellaxgiornata · 1 year ago

Text

All These Years [Part 17: "Bridging the Distance"]

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader

[You can find the full series summary and masterlist of installments for All These Years here.]

Warnings/tags: 18+ for this series; contains emotional hurt with no comfort until the final installments, angst, pining, friends to lovers, slowburn, and eventually smut

Word Count: 3.8k

a/n: This installment is mostly some sweet fluff, but there's a bit of angst, because this is ATY and there's still that physical distance between these two. Enjoy some charming Matty though! Feedback is always appreciated!

Tag list: @acharliecoxedfan @theetherealbloom @rotscinema @magnumstyles @roseallisonparker @ofmusesandsecrets @readerhead @paracosmic-murdock @v4leoftears @why-always-me-gosh-please @redbircl @keepingitlokiii @yarrystyleeza @mattkinsella @ms-murdockswift @margoo0 @1988-fiend @lockleywife @strangeobsessed @justalittlebitbored @am-3-thyst @buckybarnes-1917 @thora-jane @lionalsowrites @cloudroomblog @prince-tassel @danzer8705 @yourlocalbentspine @harperdoodle @hollandorks @mattmurdocksstarlight @yeonalie

Taking a sip of coffee from the mug in your hand, you shuffled through your kitchen and over to your fridge, pulling the door open. You stood there for a moment, eyeing the contents of what was inside and trying to decide on what to make for breakfast. Eventually your eyes landed on the carton of eggs on the top shelf and you grabbed them before sluggishly making your way over to the kitchen counter.

You set your coffee mug and the eggs down beside your phone before bending over and pulling out a pan from the cabinet below you. As you made your way over to the stove, you heard the telltale vibration of your phone receiving a text coming from behind you. An excited buzz of nerves struck you as you hurriedly set the pan down on the stove top before turning back around. You rushed back over to your phone, desperately hoping the text message you'd just received was from who you thought it was from. When you opened the notification on your screen, your face only further lit up at the sight of Matt's name.

It was exactly who you'd hoped had messaged you this morning.

It had been a couple of weeks since Karen had left after her week-long stay with you. Ever since that first text Matt had sent when Karen had left for the airport, he had been texting you more frequently. He often sent you messages on and off throughout the week, but on Saturday and Sunday mornings he had started sending you a text around the time he’d come to learn you woke up at. And every weekend morning now you had come to look forward to that text of his greeting you for the day. Usually you’d both message each other on and off as the day wore on, clearly wanting to feel connected to each other despite the physical distance.

You'd inevitably begun looking forward to your weekends even more ever since this had started.

Though you didn't exactly know what any of it meant. You'd both confessed feelings for each other months ago now, and while that hadn't been discussed yet, it seemed like he still felt the same way. As did you. You weren't sure what to make of that, especially being on the opposite side of the country from him now.

But for the moment, you pushed those thoughts to the side. All you wanted to do was bask in that giddy feeling because Matt had yet again texted you. Because he was still thinking of you.

8:35 AM MATT: Good morning, sweetheart. I hope the weather by you is vastly warmer than it is here. It's snowing again. Temperature is in the single digits.

You internally melted at the term of endearment he'd once again slipped in. On occasion he'd seemed to work that into the texts more and more frequently you’d noticed. As you reread the message, you imagined him making a coffee in his apartment, dictating the text to his phone as he hovered around his laptop working on something for the law firm. Possibly with a smile on his face as he thought about you.

Grinning yourself, you were quick to type up a response to his message.

8:36 AM It's going to be sunny and sixty degrees here today. Far better than snow.

Still smiling to yourself, you set your phone back down and reached up into another cabinet. You pulled down a bowl and began to crack a couple of eggs into it, washing your hands in the sink afterwards. Pulling out a fork from a nearby drawer to whisk them together for some scrambled eggs, you heard the buzz of your phone come minutes later on the counter beside you. Immediately you dropped the fork and picked up your phone, eager to read Matt’s next text.

8:42 AM MATT: Sounds like a perfect day. Maybe if you come back to visit Hell’s Kitchen you can bring that warmth and sunshine with you.

Before you had a chance to even respond to that message, you saw another text from him come through.

8:42 AM MATT: Though if I'm being honest, you always brought warmth and light to my life without the help of LA.

For a moment all you could do was stare at his last text, your jaw dropping as you reread it over and over. You could feel your heart hammering in your chest, the feeling of those nervous butterflies fluttering in your stomach. Your fingers hovered over your phone as you tried to think of a way to reciprocate the sentiment back to Matt, but you were so stunned that you were drawing a blank. You were not remotely as smooth as he was.

Something that had quickly surprised you over your texting back and forth with Matt these past couple of weeks was how incredibly sweet he had been. He had always been a good friend to you–outside of the big lie about him being dead when he wasn’t, which was meant to protect you, and anything involving Elektra. He’d often said nice things to you over the years that you assumed were never meant as anything more than friendly. But now you’d often found him being charming towards you. And it only made you want him physically here with you even more despite how incredibly nervous you would feel with him saying these things to your face.

Drawn out of your thoughts by the vibrating of your phone in your hand, you saw that Matt was actually calling you now. Your eyes widened in shock–besides the two video calls with Karen the other week, neither of you had talked on the phone in months. He’d always only sent texts. Why was he calling you now?

For a moment all you could do was stare at his name on your screen and internally panic, but then you reminded yourself that if you didn’t answer, you wouldn’t get to talk to him. Nervously you swiped your finger across the screen, answering the call before you lost it. Holding the phone up to your ear, you did your best to push down your nerves.

"Hey, Matty," you greeted him shyly. "What's–what’s going on?"

"Hey, sweetheart," he greeted warmly, your stomach somersaulting at his voice and that term again. "I just figured I'd call and see if you'd rather chat this way. Dictating texts is a little difficult for me. And also, if I’m being honest, I missed hearing your voice.”

Heat crept into your cheeks, your lip slipping between your teeth as you tried to fight back the giant, stupid grin forming on your face. He’d missed hearing your voice? He was too smooth, it truly wasn’t fair.

“I uh, I missed hearing your voice, too,” you admitted, trying to sound bolder than you felt.

Because honestly, it was hard to feel bold with Matt. The thought of flirting with him still had your stomach nervously twisting into knots and your palms sweating. The times you’d been interested in literally anyone else, you were able to at least moderately navigate your way through a few flirtatious comments. But with Matthew Murdock? In a situation outside of just being friendly with him? It was a miracle you could even breathe while you talked to him. Flirting was something you couldn’t fathom succeeding at when it came to him.

"How's your morning coming along?" he asked.

"Good," you replied. Shouldering your phone, you continued to work on making your breakfast, trying to ignore the nervous trembling of your hands. "I'm just waking up and making some eggs. How's your morning, Matty?"

"Cold," he answered with a chuckle. "You know I’ve always hated winter.”

You laughed lightly, remembering every single time Matt used to complain about walking around on campus when it snowed. Foggy used to tease him about it whenever you met up with them to go to the dining hall or to the bar near campus.

“Is the cold that much worse with your senses?” you asked him curiously, heading towards the frying pan and getting it ready. “I guess I never thought about that.”

“I don’t quite remember what the winters felt like before my senses became what they are,” Matt told you. “That was far too long ago to recall something that particular. But I do feel like it’s vastly more uncomfortable for me than it is for others, considering I’m more sensitive to minor temperature differences.”

“Mmm, true,” you mused, grabbing the bowl of eggs from the counter and bringing it over to the pan. “Suppose you need to bundle up and bury yourself in a pile of blankets more than others do in the winter.”

Matt hummed out a noise over the phone that almost sounded like a throaty purr. It had the hair along your forearms raising and your eyes momentarily closing. You’d almost poured the eggs out of the bowl and onto your stove top instead of into the pan with the effect it had on you, the noise rumbling directly into your ear. Eyelids fluttering back open to pay attention to the breakfast you were making, you were grateful Matt wasn’t here to pick up on anything your body was doing just now. Especially with what he said next.

“I’d much prefer to curl up with you to keep warm,” he said, tone teasing.

Your mouth fell open as you straightened in surprise at the implication of his words, a tiny surprised gasp slipping out of you. Had he meant something innocent by that? Because with Matt and his history of women, you had a feeling he might not have.

Unfortunately in your shock, your phone had slipped off of your shoulder and began its inevitable descent to the floor. With a yelp, you rushed to set the empty bowl still in your hands onto the counter beside the stove as your phone clattered loudly to the floor. Swiftly bending over and picking it back up, you held it back beside your ear. Instantly you were hit with the resonate sound of Matt’s amused laughter and you flushed.

“Don’t laugh at me, Matt,” you pouted.

You grabbed a spatula out of a nearby drawer, focusing on cooking the eggs in the pan. Over the line, Matt was clearly trying to fight down his laughter. Your cheeks only further flamed in embarrassment.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized, a smile apparent in his tone. “I’ve just never had the opportunity to flirt with you–and believe me I’ve always wanted to,” he confessed. “But I wasn’t expecting it to fluster you so easily. Truly makes me wish I wasn’t missing out on all of your reactions to me right now.”

“I’m sort of glad you are,” you grumbled. “It’s embarrassing.”

“I think it’s cute,” he countered. “I've always thought you were cute.”

You frowned, your eyes glued to the eggs cooking in the pan before you. He thought you were cute ? You'd always wanted him to think you were far more than that. Frustratedly you poked at the eggs, scrambling them further in your silence.

“Did I…say the wrong thing?” Matt asked hesitantly when you didn’t respond.

“It’s nothing,” you muttered.

“Okay,” he said slowly, “Well, I know I can’t hear your heartbeat over the phone–my ears unfortunately aren’t that good–but I can still tell that was a lie. What’s wrong? Am I not allowed to say things like that?”

You sighed, running a hand across your forehead. Truthfully it seemed ridiculous to be upset about Matt calling you cute. He’d never said that before. It should have given you some warm, fuzzy feelings in return, but in reality, it had only made your heart drop into your stomach. And the reasoning felt stupid. But still, you felt how you felt and you couldn’t control that.

Matt said your name over the line, concern in his voice. “Can you talk to me?” he asked, almost pleadingly. “I’m sorry if I said something out of line, I can–can stop flirting if you want.”

“No!” you replied instantly, wincing at how desperate and pathetic you sounded.

“Well, I can’t read minds,” Matt stated. “I need a little help here, sweetheart. What’s wrong?”

“I just–” you broke off, feeling awkward as you tried to figure out how to word what you were feeling. “I’ve had feelings for you for a long time, Matt,” you eventually began. “And I’ve–I’ve had to watch you with countless women.” You paused, inhaling a deep breath as Matt remained silent on the line while you spoke. “And for years all I wanted was for you to see me as something other than your friend. To, you know, be attracted to me,” you confessed shyly, embarrassment flooding you. “And I just–I don’t–” you fumbled for words, “–don’t want to just be cute to you. Puppies are cute. I don’t want to be on par with puppies, Matt.”

Matt said your name lightly, a small chuckle coming from him when you’d finished. Frowning at his response, you roughly scrambled the eggs in the pan even more.

“I assure you, you’re far from being on par with a puppy to me,” he told you. “I find you very attractive. And I do, in fact, find you sexy.”

Your eyes went wide and you immediately froze at his words. You had not been expecting him to say that.

“Please don’t drop the phone this time, either,” he continued cheekily, a smile once again apparent in his tone. “Because I want to make sure you hear me. I’ve wanted you for a long time. Longer than you even knew I existed. And I think you’re adorable when you get flustered or when you crack a joke. But I also think you’re beautiful. And incredibly sexy. Do you know how many times I had to refrain from making a move on you over the years?” he asked. “How many times we’d gone to that bar by campus and I had to hear the way your body moved when you drank enough to actually dance and I had to fight to keep my hands to myself? Or how many times I'd wanted to grab you and kiss you all those Saturday nights when Foggy fell asleep and it was just you and I on my bed?"

Your breath felt like it was coming in sharp and shallow. Because no, you did not know any of that.

"I–I had no idea," you answered breathily.

"I have wanted you in more ways than one for years," he admitted softly.

You felt dizzy at his admission as you reached out a hand to turn off the burner, your eggs finally finished cooking. Exhaling a long breath, you turned and leaned against the kitchen counter, a hand landing on your chest just over your racing heart.

For years that was all you'd wanted to hear from Matt. You’d always wanted to hear that he had feelings for you. That he wanted you. That he’d felt all these things for you all those times you were feeling them for him. And now here he was saying everything you'd ever wanted, but he was all the way on the other side of the country. He was over two thousand miles away. This was not the way you'd always pictured this happening–over the phone and with him out of reach.

"Matt," you whispered, feeling tears abruptly stinging at your eyes. "What are we doing?"

You heard his heavy sigh loud over the phone. The sound didn't help alleviate the burn of tears welling in your eyes.

"What do you mean exactly?" he asked.

"I mean," you began, wiping a hand at your watery eyes, "we–we care about each other. That's been established. But Matt, you're in New York and I'm in LA. Why are you always texting me? Calling me now because you miss the sound of my voice? Why are you flirting with me? What's the point of it all?"

"The point is that I'd like to give things a chance between us," he answered earnestly. "I have wanted you for so long. Literal years . I don't want to lose you. I–I can’t,” he said, his voice breaking on his words. “I can’t just ignore these feelings I have for you anymore. They won’t go away, no matter how far you are from me. Especially now that I know you feel the same. So I'm open to seeing if–if things could work. If you want that, too?" he asked nervously.

"But what about the distance, Matt?" you asked back.

"I'm hoping things will calm down at the firm in a few weeks," he told you. "I've been looking into flights and planning things with Fog so that he will be fine without me when I leave for a bit. I wanted to come out and visit you.” He paused, nervously adding, “If you still wanted me to, of course."

Your eyebrows shot up onto your forehead in surprise. Matt wanted to come out to LA? For you ? He'd been making plans to do that already?

"I–I would love you to come visit," you replied immediately, still stunned. "Of course I would, Matty. But I–I thought you'd never left Hell’s Kitchen before? I thought you said you never would?"

"I haven't," he said. "And I have said that. But I'd leave it to come see you."

"But–but what about what you do at night?" you asked. "I thought you refused to leave the city unprotected?"

"It'll be fine without me for a few days," he assured you. "There’s others here who can look after it for just a few days. I want to come see you. I just wish I was capable of heading out there sooner, but I can probably work on maneuvering my schedule around in the future so that I can occasionally make time to come visit you out there." He laughed lightly over the line. "I suppose that’s the bonus of working for yourself."

Running a hand through your hair, you nervously gnawed on your lip. There was something you hadn't told him yet because you hadn’t finalized things, but now felt like a good time to bring it up.

"I–I was planning a trip soon, too," you confessed.

"You were?" he asked, his tone full of restrained excitement which had you smiling. "When? You never told me that."

"Well I need to finish out the rest of this month at work because there's a lot going on now that it's the end of the year," you explained. "But some of my time off is rolling over to next year and I was thinking about taking a few days off for a longer weekend in Hell’s Kitchen. I'd briefly mentioned it to Karen, but since it wasn't a definite thing yet I hadn't mentioned it to you or Fog."

"So I might see you in a few weeks?" he asked, that excitement creeping further into his voice.

"Yeah, maybe," you answered, your smile growing.

"Can I take you to dinner?" he asked immediately. "Or lunch? Or–or out for coffee? Or all of the above?"

You couldn’t fight the giggle that escaped you. He'd sounded so eager to take you out already. You'd never heard him like that with anyone before, not even Elektra. And you'd certainly never had someone so excited to take you out before, either.

"I'd like that, Matt," you told him. “I still need to finalize everything with my boss first. Make sure they can spare me for a few days in January. And as much as I want to see Karen and Foggy, I’d…really like some time with you, too.”

“I want that, too,” he assured you. “I want to take you out. And I mean that as in a date. Just so–so we’re clear this time. Unlike the time I tried to ask you out before in unclear terms the night you came to my dorm. I’m not letting that happen again.”

You laughed, unable to help yourself. Matt’s own laughter soon joined yours, the sound filling you with so much joy. You wished he was standing beside you right now so you would be able to see the bright smile that was surely lighting up his face at the moment.

You definitely missed him.

Eventually the laughter slowly subsided between the pair of you, your eyes gradually glancing back at the pan on your stove. Your breakfast was now most likely cold, but truthfully you didn’t care.

“I should let you have your breakfast,” Matt said, almost as if he was reading your mind. “I’ve got to finish some things for Fog before he gets mad at me. I promised they’d be done before this afternoon and I’m admittedly running out of time. I just really wanted to talk to you. I miss you.”

“I miss you, too,” you whispered, wishing he didn’t have to go already.

“Maybe I’ll call you later tonight?” he asked hopefully. “Or tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I’d like that,” you told him, a small smile on your lips.

“Great,” he replied. “So I’ll talk to you later, sweetheart?”

“Yeah, I’ll talk to you later, Matty,” you told him.

Both of you hung up and for a long moment afterwards you just stared at your phone, your shoulders sagging. You were torn between feeling excited at the prospect of an actual date with Matt coming up in a few weeks, and that sad, lonely feeling that hit you like a ton of bricks the moment you’d hung up. You wished he was here.

Ignoring your pan of eggs for a moment, you set your phone onto the kitchen counter before you turned, exiting the kitchen. You made your way down the hall and towards your bedroom. Heading straight to your dresser, you opened the top left drawer and reached inside. Your hands landed on the lone shirt of Matt’s that you’d taken from his place so long ago, back when you were paying his bills hoping he wasn’t dead. You’d never given it back to him, too embarrassed to admit you’d stolen it, but also too attached to it to give it up.

The material was so familiarly soft as you ran your fingers along it. Bringing it up to your nose, you inhaled the scent of it, eyes closing. But unfortunately after all that time of it sitting in your dresser beside your clothes, it now smelled exactly like your own fresh laundry instead of Matt’s distinct, clean scent. That hollow ache hit you right in the chest as you lowered the shirt from your face, your fingers still running along the fabric. But at least this time the ache was markedly less painful than it had been in the past.

[END NOTES]

Yes, more end notes. Because I really enjoy them 😅

So in this installment we find out that Matt has been texting Reader ever since Karen left, but now he finally called her!! And he was finally flirting with her which got her all flustered!! Though we did see Reader was feeling a little insecure when he called her cute, especially with the knowledge of the plethora of women he's slept with, but Matt was quick to make sure she knew just how much he's attracted to her. And ohhh! He was apparently thinking of heading out to LA? And Reader might be flying to Hell's Kitchen in a couple of weeks? Does that smell like the next installment or what? Because it is. It is the next installment and it's tentatively titled "A Series of Firsts." I haven't decided if it'll get broken up into two different installments or not yet, but I have started writing it. And there will be more sweet Matty in it when they finally reunite!

#matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x you #matt murdock angst #matt murdock fluff #matt murdock #matt murdock series #daredevil

368 notes · View notes

gregorygerwitz · 1 year ago

Text

Crochet Commissions!

For those who don't know me, I'm Alex (she/they), and I started the year off with Covid. Because I had to take two weeks off work, I'm really hurting for money right now, so I'm opening up a limited number of slots for crochet commissions to try to fill in that financial gap.

ALL of the materials I use are machine washer/dryer safe

Pictures of my recent work and prices are below. Including: stuffed animals, dice bags, holiday stockings, blankets. As well as: shipping info, custom request info.

For further questions or to request a commission: message me here or email me at [email protected]

When I did my poll, most people voted for stuffed animals, and I recently finished a few that I can show my skills with. The blue penguin is my latest finished piece, with the purple penguin the first thing I ever crocheted side-by-side for comparison of how much I've learned in the last ~7 months. The mouse is technically unfinished because the eyes aren't embroidered yet, but I made it in about a day and a half, for timeline purposes.

I also just finished the above dice bag octopus about an hour ago for my roommate, which took about three hours of non-stop work (I turned on a movie and got through the stitches pretty quick). I can make them in any color you want, with either the plastic safety eyes or embroidered eyes. Most of these can be entirely customizable, just let me know what you're thinking and I'll see what I can do!

Dice bags: $10 + $5 domestic (US) shipping Stuffed animals: $15 + $5 domestic (US) shipping optional crinkle filling (washer/dryer safe): + $2 (stuffed animals only)

10 slots total (4 REMAINING)

I don't have any pictures of any of the hats or scarves I've made because it's been a few years, but I made some stockings for the apartment for Christmas last month, and that's one of my most recent projects. The green one was the last one I made, and probably the most accurate to what my capabilities are now.

If you'd like a stocking for Christmas 2024, let me know! I have an unlimited number of slots for them as the holiday is far enough away that the time crunch isn't so rough.

Hats: $20 + $5 domestic (US) shipping Scarves: $30 + $5 domestic (US) shipping Holiday stocking: $24 + $5 domestic (US) shipping

5 total wearable (hats/scarves) slots

The least popular item in my poll was the blankets, which I understand. And I'm only going to open one slot for them at a time because they take so long and so much yarn to make. The wave pattern (both blankets pictured above) is my favorite to do, but I have patterns for most simple designs, or I can likely easily google it and put it together for you. Prices are based on the time and materials these take to make, but because they're so much more expensive than the smaller items above, domestic (US) shipping is free.

Baby blanket (top left): $50 Throw blanket/afghan: $100 Full size (length shown in bottom picture): $200

1 blanket slot (0 REMAINING)

Custom requests:

If there's a pattern you've found on Etsy/Pinterest/etc that you want made, contact me by using the contact information above. We can discuss prices or my ability to accomplish that for you. ***patterns must be CROCHET patterns as I do not knit (yet)*** 5 custom slots total

International shipping:

Let me know when you request a commission where you are located, as shipping prices vary wildly from country to country. I'll go over the actual cost with you before you commit to the commission and make sure the price works for both of us.

Current open slots:

Stuffed animals and dice bags: 1. [FILLED] 2. [FILLED] 3. [FILLED] 4. [FILLED] 5. [FILLED] 6. [FILLED] 7. [OPEN] 8. [OPEN] 9. [OPEN] 10. [OPEN]

Wearables: 1. [OPEN] 2. [OPEN] 3. [OPEN] 4. [OPEN] 5. [OPEN]

Stockings: [NO LIMIT]

Blankets: 1. [FILLED]

Custom requests: 1. [OPEN] 2. [OPEN] 3. [OPEN] 4. [OPEN] 5. [OPEN]

#crochet #commissions #crochet commission #crochet commissions #yarnworks #yarncrafts #yarn craft #yarn work #crochet art #crochet stuffed animals #crochet dice bag #crochet blanket

65 notes · View notes

mixtape-racha · 1 year ago

Text

lost boy | seo changbin

☆ part 3/8 of the 5 seconds of stray kids series ☆

words: 2.01k // warnings: childhood friends reunited, friends to more?

you hadn’t seen changbin in twevle years, surely he’d forgotten about you? kids of your age moved on from their friends like a change in the weather… right?

“please, y/n. without you… i’m just a lost boy. i can’t lose you again.”

coming back home was always a scary thought to you. you left home quite young, having to leave behind all your friends and everything you ever knew. moving from one side of the country to the other just because your parents got a divorce seemed so silly in your 11 year old head. just because mom and dad didn't love each other anymore, why did you have to go? but as your mom moved across the country for a job, and your dad moved back to his home country, you didn’t really have a choice. at least by staying with your mom you wouldn’t have to fly away for good.

honestly, you hadn’t seen your dad since the day he flew out to go home - not that you particularly minded. he was a very absent father, and so you weren’t missing a lot. what hurt the most was having to say goodbye to your best friend of seven years, changbin. you had met in kindergarten and had been inseparable ever since, so having to leave him behind as you packed up your entire home and drove away was heartbreaking.

you could vividly remember the way his parents had to stop him chasing your mom’s car as you drove off, both of you sobbing so hard that you struggled to breath. leaving behind changbin was the hardest thing you’d ever done, even at 23 years old, and you weren’t sure anything else could ever be harder.

so standing at the train station of your home town brought back so many weird and horrible memories. your mom had moved back to the town recently due to location changes at work, and having just graduated college you deemed it best to move back in with her until you could afford your own place. so, with way too much luggage on hand, you waited patiently for her to drive up and collect you from the station.

honestly, you couldn’t tell if the town had ever changed since you were last there at 11 years old. it was like it had been frozen in time, only now coming back to life. part of you was expecting to look in a shop window and see your childhood self staring back at you. you were more than relieved when your mom pulled up to the curb, beeping to pull you out of your trance and getting out to help you load your belongings into the car.

the drive was quiet as you took in the fact that you were back in the place where you experienced your first heartbreak. you hummed and nodded in the correct places, to show your mom that you were kind of listening to her, but really all you wanted was to sleep. moving back to your childhood home was exhausting, especially when you never thought you’d return there.

your mom allowed you a nap before you moved all your belongings in, saying she would just leave it all in the car while she went to run a few errands. you were extremely grateful for that, wanting nothing more than the warm embrace of sleep. it healed your inner child spectacularly when your mom came to tuck you into bed, kissing your head and telling you how happy sh was that were home.

you had almost drifted off when something she said as she was leaving made your ears perk up, and caused you to have some pretty strange dreams.

“all we need now is changbin to come over and play mario kart with you, and it’ll be like nothing ever changed.”

from that second onwards, he was on your mind for the rest of the day. was he still in the area? how was he doing? did he even remember you? it had been so long, would you even recognize the other if you walked past one another on the street? how were his parents, who were practically you second parents in the midst of the divorce and the move?

unfortunately for you, you wouldn’t even know for sure if he was still around for another week. you had just started a new job - part-time barista work in a local coffee shop, and it was nice. being able to get out of the house, reconnect with people from your childhood, and not feel like you were leeching off of your mom.

it was your third shift, and about half an hour until you finished for the day. you were behind the counter, scrubbing up the remains of an iced coffee one of your co-workers spilled everywhere, trying to impress a pretty girl with his ‘brilliant coffee making skills’. you offered to clean it when he quickly took off on his break, giving you a break from dealing with customers. but your attention kept getting drawn to a booth in the back corner, where a group of 5 men were sitting and laughing.

there was something so familiar about them, and you couldn’t put your finger on it. honestly, you didn’t even mean to stare or eavesdrop, but you were kind of glad you did.

“honestly, man. the new barista is really cute, i think she’s new in town. i haven’t seen her before she started working here.”

“yeah, thats because you’re a fucking hermit, jisung. you didn’t know we had a nando’s until a year after it opened.”

“yah! leave me alone! seungmin, he’s bullying me again.”

there was a lot of laughed, and it made your heart warm. you couldn’t wait to have a group of friends close by like that again.

“leave him alone, come on. or i’ll roast all of you right now.”

a giggle.

“do it, i dare you.”

“fine. chan - you’re old. jisung - you can’t skate, no matter how much you try to say you can. felix - the only way you get girls is by having an accent. oh, and speaking of girls, changbin –” your heart skipped a beat. “you’re still hung up on a girl that moved away twelve years ago and probably doesn’t remember you exist.”

fits of laughter erupted from the table, and you hastily moved to the back room for a breath. there was no way… right? it had to be a different changbin. it couldn’t be your binnie, could it? you were immensely glad that your shift ended, sneaking out the back door and catching the first bus you could back home.

it was overwhelming,knowing he was so close to you but didn;t even know you were there. should you have said something? you didn’t want to ambush him. what if he got to know you again and didn’t like you anymore? it was terrifying, and you just wanted a glass of wine and a nice, quiet night in with your mom.

it took another week until you heard anything else changbin. your mom had mentioned that his parents wanted to see you, and broached the idea of a small get-together to celebrate your graduation and moving home. with a grimace on your face, you agreed, knowing that your mom would invite all her friends and you’d be stuck in conversations that you had no idea about.

she was ecstatic that you agreed, instantly calling up some of her friends to let them know, and arranging it for the following saturday night. you weren’t working that weekend, so it was kind of perfect, but deep down you couldn’t bring yourself to be excited. you’d overheard changbin’s mom saying that they just told him you had returned to town, but would he even show up to the party? but would it be better if he didn’t? you were a huge ball of nerves and it was horrible. you missed him endlessly, and being back in town was dragging up all of those feelings, but what if everything went wrong when you saw him?

you kept worrying about it up until the day of the party, whining to your mom about it while she insisted she curl your hair. you didn;t understand why she was making such a big deal, you both always knew you’d go back to her after graduating anyway. you much would’ve preferred a spa night with some gin and pizza, but she was so happy to have people over that you couldn’t bring yourself to take that away from her. maybe after an hour or so, you’d tell her you had a headache, or were overwhelmed, so you could escape and hide in your room. yeah, that worked.

it was an extremely well-thought and calculated plan. you’d mingle, enjoy a glass of wine or two, then dip. was it rude? probably. was it worth it? 100%. but of course, like all well thought out plans, it came crashing down almost as fast as it was put into action.

the party had barely started half an hour ago, and already you wanted to leave. you were trapped with one of your mom’s work friends, and a lady who claimed to babysit you before you started school. you truly were trying your hardest to be polite, but it was difficult. that was until you heard a shriek of joy from your mother, and your eyes darted over to see her embracing changbin’s mom in a hug. his dad was standing behind them, and you swore he hadn’t aged at all. it was like being transported back 13 years, and suddenly your stomach turned.

“oh, i’m so happy (y/n)’s back! we tried to convince changbin’s sister to come, but she’s away on a business trip. we brought binnie though!”

oh god. oh no, you had to leave. like, right now. you weren’t ready to see him and get rejected from a friendship you’d never recovered from. you excused yourself from your conversation hastily, lunging towards the back door - but not before you saw a flash of black hair and a bunny smile embracing your mom.

your head felt like it was spinning as you plopped down on the swing chair in the garden. why did you agree to this stupid party in the first place? you could reintegrate back into the community at your own pace. you didn’t need to be force fed interactions with people you grew up with, you were a fully-grown adult for crying out loud. taking deep breaths, you tried to calm yourself, so caught in a trance that you didn;t hear the back door reopening and closing just behind your back.

“(y/n)? is that… is that you? your mom said i’d probably find you out here.”

it was like the world stopped spinning, pulling you out of your trance as you whipped your head around to be faced with the one person who both dreaded and wanted to see the most. seo changbin, in the flesh. and he was…. buff.

it was like a dam broke behind your eyes and you smiled softly as a few tears trickled down your face.

“hi, binnie.”

he grinned at your words, clearly relieved that you recognized him, and held his arms open for a hug. you couldn’t help yourself from getting up and leaning into him - it was like your body was working on its own accord. you both stood in silence for a few moments, and it was like nothing had changed at all.

“you’re still short.”

“hey, so are you!” you sniffled, pulling away to wipe your face on your sleeve. “i was so scared you wouldn’t remember me, or like me anymore.”

he seemed shocked at your confession, holding your face in his hands as he searched your face to understand what you were feeling.

“how could i ever forget you, or not like you? i’ve been praying on the day i’d see you again, stupid.” the grin on his face was infectious, and you couldn’t help but take the opportunity to poke fun at him again.

“you still scrunch your nose up like a bunny when you smile, too.”

“how could i not? my favorite girl is finally home.”

taglist: join taglists here @pretty-racha @skz-streamer @hyunjiins @backintomykpopphaseagain @demetrisscarf

#mixtape-racha #mixtape-racha fic #5 seconds of skz-series #5soskz-series #stray kids fic #skz fic #stray kids x reader #stray kids x reader fic #skz x reader #skz x reader fic #stray kids fluff #skz fluff #stray kids x reader fluff #skz x reader fluff #changbin fic #changbin fluff #changbin x reader #changbin x reader fic #changbin x reader fluff

102 notes · View notes

absolutebl · 2 years ago

Text

This Week in BL - It’s My Birthday!

April 2023 Wk 4

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Step By Step (Thai Tues WeTV & Gaga) ep 2 of 10 (MDL says 12, but Gaga says 10) - Baby made a friend! Yay. I hope they stay friends. Up looks so good. Also, drama with exes! Excellent. This is awful grown up for a BL, esp a pulp. I think it may be more just a gay office romance than BL, but I love it no matter what.

La Pluie (Sat iQIYI) ep 1 of 10 - I love it. Strange premise to get at the fated mates trope but it stars one of my top picks to get his own BL. Been waiting since TT2 for this boy to feature. Tai is cute. It’s good. Except the singing. But we can’t have it all.

Our Skyy 2 (Star in My Mind) eps 3-4 - Dao is THE MOST SPOILED. But clearly Kluen prefers it that way. This was cute, but frankly a little bit boring. Kluen is clearly Thai for whipped. 8/10

Future (Thai Sun YouTube & Gaga) ep 5 of 6 - they added an additional ep because, why not? It’s a soap not a story, it doesn’t matter. MOAR softness for usssss! Drama llama boys continue to be overdramatic to the point of melodramatic to the point of ludicrous-dramatic.

Pastsenger (Thai Weds Gaga) ep 8 of 12 eps - This is not as good as My Engineer but Marc makes for a much better pair with Cooper. It’s still not great but hey… and then HE PICKED UP A GUITAR. NOOOOOO!!!!!

A Boss and a Babe (Fri YouTube) ep 9 of 12 - Is that a character in a GMMTV show actually trying to communicate? Say it isn’t so! Did you notice in order to calm Cher down Gun dropped to pom to put them on a more equal footing? Sweet. Cher is a tiny idiot for taking the blame for some random other coworker. Why? Omg this show.

The Promise (Thai Weds YT & WeTV) ep 6 of 10 - So it was a real serious total kiss kiss with both very drunk. And that’s why he ran? Sigh. This show sucks. How can we root for this couple especially when the faen fatal (Boss) is THAT HOT and so sweet. (To be fair I can’t decide if I want Boss or his outfits more). Phu should just not come back, who needs him? So they really are going to just keep drawing this one premise out the whole show?

Tin Tam Jai (Tues Gaga & iQIYI) ep 9 of 10 - yawn

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Our Dining Table AKA Bokura no Shokutaku (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 4 of 10 - They are cutest EVER - charming and awkward and sweet. I love the way the state of the food is used as an illustration for the state of the emotions of the characters. The loneliness of heating up a solitary meal bought from a convenience store in the microwave. The joy of memory of shared meals. What a lovely show.

The Eighth Sense (Korea Weds Viki) eps 9-10fin - To be honest, I was dreading this one. JH is such a first-time love bebe. I liked how realistic everybody’s behavior was to the university age bracket. We even got some proper boyfriends phase which is too damn cute for words. I do not think that JW should have made up with his evil friend. I love the way JW’s shoulders relax the moment he sees JH. This was really good show...

One of the longest BLs Korea has given us and (like Blueming) it feels more atmospheric gay coming of age romance than strictly BL. It’s got a bit of an age gap, country boy/city boy, stellar acting, complex characters, and leads with good chemistry and tension. It’s a bit chewy and sticky and less perfect than most KBLs (do I detect a touch of Taiwan?). This one deployed BL tropes (messy eater, shoulder sleep, protective seme, there’s even some hyung-slinging) but front loaded them, with tons angst driving the 2nd half. This isn’t in the KBL bubble, there’s sharp edges and lots of triggers. For a BL the darkness of the content left me feeling unsettled but it did have a glorious ending and that counts for a lot. 9/10 HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

Happy Merry Ending (Korea Thurs Gaga) eps 1-2 of 8 - No shade (ha!) but I do think Leo would have been better in the role of the singer (SJ) but I’m okay with Dongwon. JH is a nice flirty bit of sunshine. SJ is clearly the most anxiety-riddled socially awkward broken baby evers. I’m not sure about this kinda angst, it’s not really my thing especially on the back of The Eighth Sense. Look, I’ve never been one for a fixer-upper. We shall see, I guess? This is the beauty of KBL, so short most of the time that it’s low commitment no matter my reservations.

My Story (Pinoy Sat YouTube) ep 3 of 10 - it’s fine I guess?

Naked Dinner AKA Zenra Meshi (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 3 of 12 - I guess the fetish matches are finding each other? How v Japan. Of course I like the conversation about names and protocols.

It’s Airing But ...

Love Syndrome (Thai Sat WeTV) stopped at ep 2 of 12 - I’m just not into any aspect of it (except Lee Long Shi and I can watch him in Tin Tem Jai) - saving to binge if the end is solid.

Venus in the Sky (Sat YouTube) pilot/tester?) 0 of 10 - not entirely sure what’s up with this one distribution-wise, but the pilot was classic university-set pulp. I hope it happens because the leads are cute with good chemsitry and I thought it was fun. However, this pilot holds together as its own little short too.

Make a Wish (Thai Weds ?) stars Fluke Natouch (OhmFluke UWMA etc...) & Judo (The Miracle Of Teddy Bear) in a medical-fantasy. About a doctor who sees ghosts and a deity who resides in a Bodhi tree that earns merits whenever he fulfills a wish, based on a y-novel by Sammon (Manner of Death, Triage). Same as above.

Stormy Honeymoon (Vietnam) - I’m tired of these characters

In Case You Missed It

Star Hunter dropped all their trailers for 2023 on their YT channel. Bit late in the year IMHO. Nothing really stuck out.

Big Dragon the movie = more of the same

True Moon = yet another loosely disguised attempt at the 2 Moons franchise?

Flirt Milk = standard pulp fodder, but they are cute

Acadex = The Eclipse + Destiny Seeker + Harry Potter 4 + The CW, as a movie that may not be BL

Sunset Vibes = Big Dragon pair as a one night stand but “uh-oh he’s my boss!” I’m game. Maybe it’ll have a better story? Maybe it will have a plot? Maybe... oh who am I kidding. It’ll be high heat and that’s about all we can hope for.

City of Stars AKA Fueangnakorn = An actor falls in love with a programmer and the narrative intends to “explore the ramifications of being public figure in the social network era who must endure critics, bullying, and defamation.” Looks like another Lovely Writer/Call It What You Want sort of thing.

The biggest shocker is how few they fielded of their original BL stable.

ALSO:

Love Senior = SOTUS but make it GL (I’m not mad about this one, it’s about flipping time. But it’s GL so I won’t track it, although I will watch it.)

Next Week Looks Like This:

Coming in May 2023:

5/1 House of Stars (Thai iQIYI) - An LGBTQ actor in love with an actor from another company, plus other wanna be stars all trapped in a doom house together.

5/4 Love Mate (Korea Viki) 8 eps- Office romance between a team leader and a new employee who agree to date for 3 months to find true love, from the makers of Our Dating Sim.

5/18 - Starstruck (Korea ????) - A boy has had a crush on his childhood friend for a long time. Stars Zuho (Kpop SF9 - noted Good Egg) opposite rookie actor Kim In Sung (as the one with the crush).

5/27 The Luminous Solution (Thai ????) 10 eps - Thana is having trouble at work and in his relationship. He can't seem to catch a break. So he makes a wish to change everything. But every wish has a price.

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED)

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

I do like a tie (or nametag) grab kiss. (Boss & Babe)

Our Skyy 2 SIMM ep summing it all up and reviewing itself.

Future the series, I like this reverse claiming thing. So cute.

The boyfriends eps are the BEST eps. The Eighth Sense.

I WANT BOSS’S OUTFITS.

My favorite, “there is only one bed but we slept together on the floor anyway.” (The Promise)

Now that is a claim that MUST be proved.

Loves the little babies with their killer communication style.

What do I always say about a BL that reviews itself? All from Destiny Seeker. (I’m getting caught up, I’ll post a review of the series when I’m done.)

(last week)

Current Kpop earworm? UO’s Restart

173 notes · View notes

b4rbi3l4nd · 2 years ago

Text

SOS — i can't lose when im with u

SORRY FOR KEEPING Y'ALL WAITING PLS. BUT DW, IT'S BACKKKK. This one's a short lil cute episode bc snooze by SZA got me feeling all LOVEY DOVEY and shi but DW, the angst and tension will be BACK by the next chapter bc its GONE GIRL

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐋

▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱

series summary: you broke up with shuri a few years ago and left wakanda for good until namor. now that he's killed the queen and multiple wakandan civilians, he's seen as a great threat and as former second in command at shuri's lab and wakanda's loyal warrior it is your duty to return and fight for your country. but a certain somebody makes the mission way too hard to deal with.

episode summary: well…you fucked up and got pregnant. mixed feelings arise at the palace and you're not sure how you want to handle it but shuri knows that she for sure wants to get serious. to top it all off, your greatest enemy has become your ally and your greatest regret comes back to haunt you

genre: MAJOR fluf, slow, slow, slow burn, minor angst

pairing: shuri x black fem reader

episode warnings: mature dialogue, suggestive dialogue, suggestive scenes, cursing, trauma, shouting, mentions of death, suicide, missing people etc. this is a series. you are currently looking at the fourth chapter of the series, please go to my profile to read the previous chapters before continuing (if you haven't read the other chapters yet, if so, please continue)

taglist: @yvxmpire, @sweetalittleselfish-honey, @xxmilli, @queenofsimpsblog, @ziayamikaelson, @shuriislut, @atssukoo, @widowmakker, @cuddl3s4shur1, @n7cje, @ts1mp0ne, @locoforshuri, @inneruniv4rse

proofread?: no but if there are errors then it's grammarly's fault.

word count: girl idfk

inspirations: 'SOS' — SZA

song: 'Snooze' — SZA

send your thoughts and requests ▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱

Shuri looked at you, pausing for a second, an amused smile creeping up on her face as she slowly chuckled but then stopped to look at your face again. Once she realized you were serious, her face slowly dropped.

You stepped back slightly, your awkward smile dropping as well once you realized.

"You don't want the baby..?" You ask, your voice lowering into a whisper as she walked towards you, placing a hand on your shoulder.

"No, no I do. Trust me, I do. I just wasn't expecting…especially since it's been our first time in 4 years.." She looked off to the side but you're still staring her dead in the eye before you raised an eyebrow.

"No." You say out as you break free from her hold, walking away from the bathroom and into the bedroom, Shuri following you confused.

"What do you mean no? Do you want the baby?"

"I was stabbed. In my stomach." You turned around to face her. "The baby should not have made it…neither should I.." You paused, doing calculations in your head as your eyebrows furrowed, your eyes on the ground. Then you paused in your tracks, looking up at Shuri. "What did you do?"

Shuri let out an awkward chuckle, looking at you with an eyebrow raised. "What?"

"When you were operating on me, the surgery, you were informed of an internal disturbance in my womb, I know this..I've performed this surgery millions of times." You built the system to help better surgery for pregnant women 8 years back, and it's been the default surgery system used in Wakanda ever since.

"You knew."

Your hands balled into a fist as Shuri looked at you defeated.

"Y/N…let me explain."

"Go on. Explain." Your face was heating up as you looked at Shuri. She purposefully left the baby in you, didn't tell you for HOW many weeks after the surgery, and then had the audacity to act shocked when you informed her of the news.

"During surgery, we were informed of the baby but we didn't know it was a baby, you were 3 weeks at the time and it was an embryo…I also thought that it was the tether…like you told me so I..left it."

"But you were informed of the possibility of a pregnancy yes?" You ask, narrowing your eyes on her.

"Yes but I didn't think you were that fertile. I mean we only had sex one time and I didn't think you'd get pregnant from it…"

"Yea, well neither did I.." You sighed, turning away to face your body mirror in your room, folding your arms. You saw her walk up behind you and wrap her arms around your waist.

"Alright. I'm sorry…do you want the baby?" You felt her breath on your neck as you looked over at her.

"I'm already into my 2nd month anyway…" You muttered under your breath as you felt her smile.

"How about this," She spoke as her hands roamed your body. "I still want you to be my queen Y/N…I promise, I'll do everything right this time." Her hands trailed over to your stomach and you pondered. "I'll protect you…and serve you, and the baby."

You weren't sure, I mean, this is Shuri and you've been in this boat before. You sigh, looking off to the side as she frowned.

"Come on baby, I'll…" She sighed, letting go of you and walking in front of you, placing her finger under your chin to turn your face to face her. "I swear on everything. You and this baby are all I have left.."

"You have Nakia and Okoye…and T'Challa."

Her mood soured for a bit before it softened again once your eyes met. "You know what I mean. I want to do what I should've done 4 years ago. I promise, it's just you and me. No one else."

"Except for the baby."

"What do you say?"

You never expected this mission to turn into a love story but you should've known better. I mean you're coming back home, to the only woman…only person who's ever touched you sexually. You were expecting a hookup, just not a pregnancy.

"Shuri."

"Hm..?" She hummed in response, her face now in the crook of your neck, one of her fingers playing with your curls, the other holding you tightly by the waist.

"If…I stay with you….promise not to do anything stupid." You looked down, your eyes wandering for a minute as you bit your lip. You had a feeling something or someone bad was about to happen. "This is your last chance…our last chance."

"I promise." ▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱

You walked through the hall, your arms folded. You were dressed in all white, your hair pulled back in a slick bun. The events of this morning were just dawning in your head as you looked out of the tall windows.

Suddenly a woman bumped into you harshly, causing you to almost stumble over and fall on your belly. Luckily, you caught yourself just in time. You looked around angrily as the woman kept walking.

"Hey! Were you raised in a barn or what?!"

She suddenly stopped in her tracks and turned around as your face dropped.

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't see you there."

"Malia.." you seethed. You lunged at her but she quickly dodged and grabbed your arm. You got out of her grip, backing away as you remember your pregnancy. "What the hell are you doing here?!"

"Were you not informed? I live here." She smiled cockily as your eyes widened.

"What?!"

"Wakanda and Talokan are now allies, in case you missed that when you know, you blacked out." She giggled at her own joke but she was the only one laughing.

"Get out." You firmly stated as she looked at you with big eyes and then shook her head sharply.

"No, I think I'll stay actually. Shuri offered me a home here and it would probably be in your best interest to keep peace with me, after all, you were the one who cause this."

Your mind raced back to the battlefield where you vividly remember your blow to her stomach causing her miscarriage. She walked closer to you, whispering in your ear.

"I'd watch your back if I were you…and your belly." She walked off as you felt your fists ball up in rage. ▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱

"SHURI! EVERYBODY GET OUT! SHURI!" You stormed into the lab, screaming as the people there scrambled out like your orders. You raced up the stairs as Shuri rushed to you, looking concerned.

"Ay! Baby calm down, why are you screaming?! Stress isn't good for the baby.." She reached out to touch your stomach as you scoffed.

"Don't 'baby' me! When were you planning on telling me that your ex lived here?!"

She sighed, looking at you. "Usana, Wakanda and Talokan are allies now…Namor, he suggested that it'd be best for Malia to live here until the funeral."

You raised an eyebrow, squinting your eyes. "Funeral for what exactly?"

"The…baby of course." She reached a hand to your shoulder. "We also have unsettled wars with the U.S and some eastern countries. She's going to be a valuable asset in battle. I offered her a home here."

"Shuri-"

"I know, but she won't hurt you, I promise."

"You can't assure that." You say under your breath, looking to the side.

"I doubt she's looking for vengeance…I mean, it's not like you killed her baby or anything." She chuckled, looking at you but you slowly turned to her, your eyes widened, your face horrified and in a panic.

"What do you know..?" You sharply voice out, causing her worry, concern and confusion to rise again.

"What?" She asked, confused.

"WHAT DID YOU SEE? WHAT DID YOU HEAR? WHAT DO YOU KNOW?!" You shout at her, terrified she knew something.

"Y/N-"

"WHY ARE YOU ACCUSING ME OF SOMETHING I DIDN'T DO, I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!" Her hands hold you as she tries to calm you down.

"Baby, calm down, no one is accusing you-"

"NO!" You raise a hand to her, your stress level increasing drastically. "NO!" You walk backwards, the panicked look still on your face, stumbling over a stair.

"Careful! You might hurt yourself!"

You turn around quickly and race down the stairs and out of the lab. ▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱

"And she was panicked, the minute I mentioned the baby…like she knew something.." You heard Shuri talk to Okoye through the walls. You were currently in bed, laying down, a nollywood movie playing on the tv. She made you rest in bed and she got you tea and cookies so decrease your stress. She wasn't lying when she said she was taking this pregnancy more seriously than the last.

"My queen, maybe something happened on the battlefield." Okoye replied.

You turned the volume all the way up so you didn't hear them talking from behind the door. After a few minutes, Shuri walked back into the room, and joined you in bed, wrapping an arm around you.

"Are you alright now baby?" She looked at you but you kept your eyes glued on the screen, only nodding and humming in response.

She used her finger to make you turn to face her and raised an eyebrow. "Use your words entle."

"I'm fine now" You say as she kissed your cheek gently.

"Good…what was that all about in the lab?" She looked at you with concern as you looked away, biting your cheek.

"I just had a threatening encounter with Malia…is all."

The minute you said that, Shuri sat up, alarmed.

"She threatened you?!"

"No, no…nevermind, let's just enjoy ourselves and watch the movie.." You trace her tattoos, causing her to slightly calm down and lower herself into the bed as you sighed. You had to keep this a secret, meaning you had to get rid of Malia. ▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱

"What do you want?" You ask as a woman appeared out of the trees, smiling at you. It was Malia.

You were currently in one of the jungles in Wakanda where she asked you to meet, at night…the only light being a burning fire.

"I want my life back, my baby back, my wife back." She spat at you, walking closer as you folded your arms, standing your ground.

"And I want my father back but we all can't get what we want."

Malia paused as she thought, looking down on your belly and then at you. "I heard what Shuri said that day, how she'd kill whoever killed my baby."

You froze, remembering it as well.

"My people call me T'aan asesina, killer voice. Siren" She whispered to you as she pulled back, causing your eyes to meet with hers. "Either you hand it over or I will take it from you."

"What are you referring to?"

"You know." And with that, she left, leaving you alone. ▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱

Shuri was placing hot kisses on your neck as she fixed you on her lap. Her hands trailed under your shirt as you moaned, moving your head to the side to give her better access as she sucked on your sweet spot.

"Ohhh…" You moaned into her ear as you moved your hips back and forth against her. She was about to unclip your bra when loud banging on the throne room's door interrupted both of you. You quickly got off her, readjusting your outfit as the door swung open, causing Shuri to sigh and you to sit down.

It was already 1:15 and elders entered the room all sitting down in the throne room. The Dora entered behind them, surrounding the room as everyone turned to you and Shuri.

"So after your first baby failed, you decided to make another one huh? What is this? A make-a-baby factory?!" An elder remarked as Shuri sighed.

"Zami!" Another elder said, reaching out to slap his hand. "Have some respect, this is our queen you are ordering around!"

"No! This is a young woman who does not know how to rule properly. Shuri's romantic life is interfering with Wakanda! She has to understand that she is now a ruler with responsibilities. Now we're supposed to welcome a child who's parents aren't even married? What kind of-"

"I understand your concerns." Shuri cut him off, causing everyone in the room to look at her surprised, even you. "What happened with Malia will never happen again. It was just a minor setback for a major comeback. Talokan and Wakanda, as you all know are allies now and we'll need all the help we can get if we want to win the upcoming war with the white people."

"You know how sneaky they are…" Another elder said as Shuri nodded, continuing.

"Which is why I have arranged for Malia, as well as some other people from Talokan, excluding Namor, to stay here but I can assure you, everything is taken care of, business only. We will need the brightest people in the lab and the strongest on the battlefield, unfortunately, the war is not over yet."

The elders in the room nodded and she continued.

"As for Y/N, I plan on marrying her and making her my queen. You all with treat her and our baby with utmost respect, is that understood?" She says sternly as everyone in the room replied with "yes my queen." Shuri nodded, putting her hand up. "You are all dismissed. I've addressed all your concerns, yes?"

You couldn't help but be caught by surprise when Shuri mentioned marriage. As the room cleared out, you turned to her. "Did you really mean what you said when you said you'd marry me?"

"I meant everything I said Y/N…especially that. I'm just trying to be your everything." She took your hand in hers and kissed it softly. "I love you…and I know I've done things and said even worse but I never meant that, I swear. I would nev-"

You cut her off, planting a soft kiss on her lips. "It's alright. I don't mean what I said too." You pressed your forehead against hers as she hoisted you onto her lap, raising an eyebrow, a smirk forming on her lips.

"Where were we again?" Her hands reached down to squeeze your ass as your lips collided together. ▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱▰▱

196 notes · View notes

levis-coffeecup · 6 months ago

Text

chapter 27| Forgotten Flowers

WC-7.3k

Summary

The underground is filthy and dark. Dim lights, dull alleys, and desperate hearts. A place Levi knows as well as the back of his hand, and a place he would do anything to get out of.

Chapters of life roll by and with the turn of a page, things drastically change. In front of him is the opportunity to live on the surface. And the flimsy bridge that he has to cross. From an uncivil criminal to a disciplined soldier.

But life on the surface seems tougher amidst all the mockery, civilities, and the gaping hole left in his heart, after the demise of his dear friends Isabel and Farlan.

Content/Warnings

canon- compliant, canon-typical violence, spoilers for No Regrets OVA, descriptions of PTSD, grief, depression, heavy angst and themes, strong language, self-hate, physical assault.

Author’s Note

Heyyyy

Sorry for disappearing for 2 weeks without saying anything 🤡.

I had to look for a house, and work was also really busyy, so I didn't have the time to work on the fic. But my apologies for not updating again!

This chapter has a lot of time skips, so do keep the dates in mind to understand the timeline better. Also the last chapter ended with Levi going for the Mission to Reclaim Shinghansina, so this chapter will be more about post season 3 scenes, and season 4 timeskip stuff.

I hope you enjoyyy! Would love to know your feedback in the comments. Song for this chapter is Happiness by Orange Rex Country

Chapters

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23

Masterlist | Playlist | Other Works

AUG 850

Maria has been reclaimed, and the people of Paradis rejoice. Throwing flower petals at the 8 remaining members of the Survey Corps.

This is the first time they have been welcomed this way. And this is the first time they have ever won. But Levi feels nothing close to victorious, as he tredges down the streets of Trost.

His feet ache, and the crowd cheers.

Silently he suffocates in the praises people sing of him.

For he has returned, not a valiant warrior, but a wimp who couldn’t even complete the promise he made to his dying commander.

The sound of the creaking wagons behind him is loud amidst the cheer. Erwin rests there, and so do Moblit, Marlo and many others. They couldn’t even get most of the bodies back, because of the shortage of carts.

And Levi has always been a part of their death, but this time, all responsibility falls on him. It was his decision to let his comrades march to death. It was his incompetence that let the beast titan slip away.

And now his shoulders can’t help but quake. For he has returned with unfathomable grief, and the weight of the entire survey corps on his head.

The loudness of the crowd, and the silence of his sadness are all too overwhelming. And Levi sighs, wondering if the heaviness in his heart will ever recede.

Hange agrees to take his horse back to the base. And Levi pushes through the people on the street, struggling to maintain the impertinent scowl that always rests on his face.

Soon his tired eyes meet the beautiful brown of hers.

She’s standing at the doorstep of their house. So grateful that he’s come back alive.

His breath quivers. It feels like it took him hours to reach her, as if he was walking in an endless circle.

“Levi,” her voice is one of love. She takes a step closer to him. Studying his body, smeared with victor’s blood. And he’s tried to hold it all in for so so long. But he’s home now, he can’t help but let his emotions crack through the mask.

“Levi…,” she puts a hand on his cheek, trying to elicit a reaction from him.

A few seconds pass by, thick in silence and then he lunges forward towards her. His arms encircling around her waist as he buries his face into the crook of her neck.

And she gasps, as she feels the slight tremor in his frame.

He reeks. Of sweat, of blood. Of death, of failure. And she can’t help but pull him closer, hoping that if she holds him tighter, it brings back all his pieces together.

She doesn’t know what he’s been through. And she doesn’t know what hurt him so bad, that he dares to hug her when they’re still standing at the doorsteps of their home.

But she wants to tell him that everything will be alright, and that he’s amazing. She knows he’s trying his best, and he’s fought to the best of his abilities in the mission as well.

But Levi always pushes her away.

Too proud to show his weakness. Too frightened to discuss his vulnerabilities. And Mae knows that he probably wants to pretend like he’s all alone. That he’s not breaking down like this in front of her.

The people around stop and stare. It’s not everyday that you see a man seek comfort out in public, much less Humanity’s Strongest.

And so Mae pulls him inside the house, away from the eyes that gawk during his times of weakness. She makes him sit on the sofa, so she gets the freedom to kiss his misery away.

“Levi, I’ve run a warm bath for you.” She speaks and Levi hums, thoughtlessly.

His brain has stopped working, or maybe he’s forcing it to shut. Not having the strength to face its never ending cynicism.

And so he lets her guide him to the bathroom. He lets her undress him and press a kiss on the new scar on his temple.

The warm water feels faintly welcoming. And as Levi dips himself in the bathtub, Mae sits on the platform behind him.

For a moment the only thing that remains is the stillness of the water, and the shell of the person Levi once used to be. Quaintly numb and horribly devastated.

The world hasn’t been gentle enough with him.

And so Mae lights a few scented candles around, hoping he doesn’t forget about the beautiful things in life.

It’s painfully domestic, and surprisingly Levi doesn’t complain. It's not like him to tolerate her presence when he’s so emotionally wrecked. Usually he gets snappy and pushes her away.

But this time his eyes are pleading to her. Asking her to stay.

And so she takes her time to wash him and his sins away. With gentle eyes, gentler fingertips and the gentlest lips.

And he gives in.

He gives in to her, as she lather soap around his shoulders. He gives in to her kind touches as she splashes warm water across his back. It makes him feel so loved and cherished, as if he’s a person who can still be accepted.

His eyes flutter shut, and he lets her find himself in places he’s never been in before. Vulnerable and naked, whilst she remains clothed behind him.

Her touches find his trembling skin. His bloodied hands that still quake under the weight of his regrets. And her lips find the souvenirs of war on his skin, scourged and engraved against his body. She tries to be the softest there, kissing all the spots where he’s been stabbed and hurt before.

When she looks up at him, his eyes are a crumbling shade of gray. And she sees the way he thinks he is a disgusting weakling. Nothing but a failure who couldn’t do anything.

And she dares to tell him that she loves him exactly the way he is. His scars, his bruises, and his battered soul that has been broken once again.

She dares to tell him that he’ll always be so much more beautiful than all his downfalls.

And Levi finds it easier to cry when water is already streaming down his face. He finds it easier to cry when Mae is sitting behind him, with her lips hovering over the sensitive skin of his neck.

He pivots and wraps his arms around her clothed back, keeping his head on her lap.

And Mae begins to comb his hair with her fingers. Making sure the shampoo has been washed off.

His eyes flutter close in surrender. He wonders how he got here? And how did he seek comfort in another person?

He has asked these questions to himself a million times before, and he still doesn’t have an answer..

But he likes to think that the universe gifted her to him. Maybe to compensate for all the people it has taken away from him. Maybe to restore his faith.

That she was supposed to help him grow, and become a better person. And he was born to rest beside her, with his head on her lap and his heart filled with love.

______________________________

FEB 851

Erwin stands tall amidst the oak trees planted in the City Square.

The forelegs of his horse are raised and his face is contorted in rage. His sword yields high, and his other hand is firm, fisted against his chest. A testament of his strength and will, as he carries his cadets into the storm of conflict.

The details of his face are set in stone . And dedicate your heart is etched in bold, right below it.

Needless to say, he looks glorious.

And Levi looks at his statue, with a distant look on his face.

The glory was never worth the carnage, and the war was never about bravery, it was about horror. And Mae sighs as her gaze lingers on Levi.

He came back to her in ruins, and she has tried awfully hard to piece him back together. But sometimes he still drifts off to a place, unreachable./ on some days, she still sees him crumble under the weight of his vows.

She wraps her hand around his wrist and tugs his arm.

“You were taking me to some market, weren't you?” Her sweet voice pulls him out of his thoughts. His features soften. And he lets her bring peace to him.

2 years have passed since the mission to Reclaim Singhansina. And the revelations in Eren’s basement have changed the trajectory for humanity. Or what they thought was the entire human race.

Turns out the entire world is against them.

Yet fortunately, some allies have also been found.

And with the help of the Anti-Marleyan Volunteers and the Azumabitos, Paradis is developing wonderfully. Train tracks are being built and strategies to secure the future are also being concocted.

Titans are no longer something people are scared off. And long gone are those days when soldiers would sacrifice their lives to kill mindless titans.

Things have been peaceful.

And the streets of Mitras look prosperous as ever. With the colorful bougainvilleas planted to the side of the cobblestone path.

“I still remember the day I came to Mitras…,”Mae recalls scornfully. “ They laughed at the dresses I wanted to sell, you know? It was so humiliating.”

And life has changed so much since then.

Mae's clinic has become one of the best in Trost. The line of patients is always long, and she works day and night. More of a workaholic than Levi now.

“I didn't even make enough money to save my parents.” A frown plays on her lips. There are days when old wounds resurface for her as well, sometimes triggered by the randomest of things.

“But you are doing so much better now… aren’t you?” Levi rebuttals with her thoughts, his voice soft. “Not to mention that you earn way more than me. And you’ve managed to save quite a huge amount.”

A genuine smile lights up Mae’s face. And her sun-creased eyes crinkle on the side. Getting praise from Levi still feels amazing. Because it's always genuine

“We've come far…” she affirms. ”We should be proud.”

And Levi’s fingers trail down her forearm, till they reach her palm. Their fingers intertwine, and he holds her hand in a soft grip.

The entrance of the market speaks a ton about its class. There’s a huge wooden arch built at the entrance. Fresh lilies dangle down from it, spreading an aroma that could captivate anyone passing by.

Carriages of the nobles are parked adjacent to it, stacked in a neat line, and chauffeurs stand outside, bored by the wait. The military police crowds around the gates, guarding it with astonishing discipline.

And Mae gasps, taken aback by the grandiose of the market.

The stalls are decorated with frilled tablecloths, and fragrant flowers are twirled around the pillars. A shop even sells small souvenirs of the railway trains that are being made. And there is seafood too, a special cuisine from the land of Marley.

Unlike most markets, this one isn’t loud. Ladies laugh, in their poised, practiced laugh. And the men speak in their fancy accent.

It makes Levi crinkle his nose. "Well, this place reeks of pretentiousness. I bet none of these swines could survive a day outside their fancy walls."

And Mae chuckles a little. “I'm surprised you wanted to come here of all places, Levi. You’ve always hated the nobility. “

“But I know you like fancy ass places.” Levi comments with nonchalance. His eyes land on a fashion boutique to his far right. Dainty, feminine dresses are placed on display, visible through the large glass facade.

And Levi doesn’t hesitate a second, before leading Mae to the shop.

Soon they step inside, and Mae’s eyes grow wide in awe. It doesn’t take long for her to slip her fingers out of his hand, and sashay around.

The store is as huge as the conference room at the Survey Corps. Tall wooden cabinets break the area into several aisles and the shelves are stocked with all kinds of fancy fabrics and clothes.

Much to Levi’s liking, there aren’t many people inside. And he strolls around, watching the wide collection of opulent garments.

His attention lands on a beautiful shade of peach that stands out in the pile of clothes stacked in the compartments. And he pulls it out to see the whole dress.

The fitted bodice is adorned with delicate details of lace. Its puffy sleeves are made of mesh, attached in line with the sweetheart neckline. And the skirt below is airy and voluminous, with layers of organza to add fluffiness.

Mae falls in love with it as soon as her eyes land on it. “That seems like something a princess would wear,” she gapes, as she ushers closer towards it.

There's another dress in her hand. A white one made of silk. And Levi feels a lump growing in the middle of his throat as he looks at it. “This dress looks so similar to what your dad made for your 18th birthday.”

And Mae nods, blinking away the stinging sensation in her eyes. “I always felt so guilty about selling that dress off, especially when it didn’t help me save either of them... But this feels like the universe is giving me another chance.”

And Levi’s smiles as he imagines her in all white. With satin bows on the bodice, and her skirt twirling around with every movement she makes. He's always wondered what she would look like in it, since it was her favorite dress.

He places his hand on the small of her back and he leads her to the front of the store. “Let’s get it then.”

And Mae hums as she turns to the shopkeeper.

But all her wishes come crashing down when she hears the price.

Her jaw drops and the silence that falls next is deafening.

The amount is beyond her imagination. For a moment she had truly forgotten how expensive this market was supposed to be.

“Should I pack it for you?” the shopkeeper asks with a practiced smile.

“NO,” her answer is immediate. And then she plasters a sweet smile as she keeps the dresses on the counter. But before she can march towards the exit, Levi grabs her wrist and drags her behind a shelf, where it’s just the two of them.

His brows furrow, and his eyes bore into hers. “Do you not like them?” He asks with all seriousness.

And Mae’s gaze flicks to the floor.

“It’s too expensive,” she mumbles. ”Now that I think about it, father wouldn’t want me to pay 3 times more for a dress that he made for free… I’d rather save that money.” She tries to convince herself.

But Levi doesn’t miss the subtle frown pulling on her lips.

“That’s fair…” He ponders for a moment. “But I don’t think your father would disapprove of me getting the dresses for you.”

And for a moment, all Mae can do is stand in shock. Her lips part, and her eyes grow wide with bewilderment. “You can’t buy me those dresses, Levi.” She crosses her arms in front of his chest.

“Any why not?”

“Because I earn way more than you, and no way am I going to let you buy even o-.”

He cuts her off by keeping a finger on the plush of her lips. His eyes trail from her mouth to her eyes. And he holds her in his gaze for a moment.

The months after the Return to Shinghasina were so hard. Hell chased Levi back from the battleground. And he found himself falling in an endless pit of horrors. Again and again. Over and over.

And throughout his battles with his own mind, Mae remained awfully patient.

He’d snap at her, still annoyed at the fact that he couldn’t save his comrades from the massacre by the beast titan.

He’d sit sad and dejected, crumbling under the weight of his vows. And she would look at him in pain, not knowing how to help him.

He would refuse her touch, sleeping on the edge of the bed, believing that he didn’t deserve it. And she would watch the war consume.

But not once did she raise her voice at him. Her gentleness with him was constant, no matter how difficult he was being.

And it's only the love she has shown him in the past few months that has made him accept himself again.

“Just because you earn more than me, doesn’t mean I can’t treat you.” He hooks his hand under her chin, lifting her face up so he can meet her gaze.

“Silly girl,” His voice comes out exceptionally soft.

He can never put into words how grateful he is to have her and so he presses a quick kiss on her lips. Hoping it does half of the job.

And Mae gawks, unable to recognize the man in front of her. He’s kissing her in the back of a store, holding her hand as they walk through the road. Ready to spend a month's salary on a dress she desires.

This is not the practical man she fell in love with.

But whatever it is, she feels loved and cherished.

“Are you sure, Levi? I won’t judge if you want to chicken out at any moment… It's a huge amount.” She tries to dapper her excitement by acting modest.

But he just nods. She’s worth so much more than the dress he’s about to buy. And unfortunately, it’s all Levi can’t afford at the moment. He hopes he can give her the world one day.

They walk back to the front of the store and the shopkeeper greets them with a smile again.

“The price might have thrown you off guard but both of them are from an exclusive couture collection.“ He goes off as he lays both the dresses on the counter. “Although we can surely find something cheaper for the lady.”

“Cut the crap-” Levi barges. “We’re purchasing it.”

And Mae taps her chin. The sweetness of the moment makes her heart melt a bit.

“I can’t decide which one to get though,” she mumbles, biting her lip. “The peach one definitely excites me more, since I’ve never worn something like that, but the white one really reminds me of my dad. And a part of me will feel guilty if I pick another dress over what my dad made.”

“Well… Levi's voice drawls. “If you’re feeling so conflicted …I can decide for you if you want.”

And there’s not an ounce of hesitation in his voice as he turns to the shopkeeper and says, “we’ll be purchasing both of them.”

Mae gasps, and then she nudges at his side, fazed. But he just blinks at her, as if everything is alright. Slowly her eyes light up like that of a little child, and he wishes he could pause the moment.

He is quick to hand out the cash, as if he’s been preparing for this moment all his life.

And Mae’s cheeks turn flush, as the shopkeeper packs the dresses and hands them to Levi. For a moment she feels too flustered to string a coherent sentence. And it’s only when they’ve stepped out of the store does she speak again.

“I almost drained your entire wallet.” She coyly stumbles over her words. “But thanks Levi, I appreciate it a lot! “

“Tch, stop acting like a formal, snobby brat.” He grunts, but his eyes glint with fondness.

They step into the busy streets again, and Levi's hand lands on the small of her back. Ensuring that he doesn't lose her in the crowd of the market.

The section they enter next is gleaming with gold on every fixture. Intricate necklaces studded with gems are on display at every corner. And mannequins are decorated with accessories that only royals could sport.

The security is tighter here, and Levi’s sure all the jewelry is made of pure gold.

“I’m so excited to wear these dresses, Levi!” Mae squeals .

H er energy spills out in waves of enthusiasm, and she walks with a slight hop in her step.

Levi finds her rather cute in her childlike excitement.

“I can’t tell you how grateful I’m feeling right now. I’ll wear the peach dress for a date, we’ll have a romantic dinner on the terrace where we’ll slow dance under the stars… and the white one would be perfect for a picnic.”

And Levi chews the inside of his cheeks. Baffled that she’s still so excited to spend time with him. After years of being together. Instead, he decides to focus on the elaborate displays of jewelry to stop the blush creeping up on his cheeks.

The sight around him is a manifestation of the luxury and opulence that corrupts this world. It’s something Levi hates, since he’s seen how bad the other side is. He sighs.

Every piece of jewelry is sparkling, and intricate. But they all look the same, with the same stones, the same metal. The nobles are always decked with these. And Levi has met enough thanks to the galas Erwin made him attend to secure funding for the Survey Corps.

“Any of these catch your interest?” He drones, as they walk past the largest stall that stands in the center of the section.

And Mae points her finger towards a ring that's kept in a small glass box. “That looks pretty,” she comments casually.

Oddly enough, Levi can’t recognise the gemstone. It’s a smooth sphere, cream coloured with an iridescent surface that shimmers in various soft hues.

He steps towards it. Inspecting it closer. The gem is like nothing he’s seen before,

It’s softer, white, pure and luminous, just like Mae.

“It does… it’s absolutely gorgeous.” He’s besotted the moment he looks at it.

The previous customer standing at the stall leaves, and the Vendor turns his attention towards Levi. His eyes glint with excitement. “You’re Humanities Strongest, right?”

And Levi hums. It’s common for him to be recognised these days.

“Well, what you’re looking at is not a gemstone… It’s all thanks to you actually… the Survey Corps.…” The vendor opens the glass case, and hands the ring to Levi. “It’s a pearl, a gem from the sea.”

“I see.” Levi takes it in his hand and examines it closer. The surface is smooth and lustrous, but it’s not loud like that of a diamond. ”Must be fairly expensive.”

“It's the most expensive product in this section for sure. ” The vendor chimes.“ It's the most beautiful wedding ring ever made in our studio!”

He extends his hand forward, taking back the ring from Levi’s grasp. “Unfortunately it's not up for sale.”

Levi raises his bow at that, and the vendor continues.

“It's a custom wedding ring made for the Franz family. It’s only up for display… I can make one for you if you’d like though.” The vendor goes on, and Mae looks at Levi, not understanding why he is taking part in such a futile conversation.

She steps closer to him and tugs at his sleeve.

“Let’s go Levi, we have no use for a wedding ring.” All the wedding rings around makes her want to hurl, but she manages to mask the bitterness in her heart.

And Levi throws the ring a final glance, before he decides to walk away as well.

Moments later they are laying on grass and watching the sunset.

It’s a quiet garden just outside the orphanage made for the Underground kids.

The grass is lush, and Levi closes his eyes as a gentle breeze blows by them.

His lithe eyebrows are slightly disheveled but relaxed. And in the outer corner of his eye, there are faint lines that mark all the years he’s spent on this land so far. Time has flown by very fast.

And Mae longs after him in silence.

She’s pampered him so much that he has put on a bit of weight. His thighs have become soft, and his cheeks are much more rounder now. He looks cute, she thinks to herself. This is probably what Levi looked like as a child, with the pudgiest of cheeks.

Ever since the Survey Corps headquarters got shifted to the coast of Paradis, Levi has been spending all of his weekends at home. Trost is convenient to go to the coast, and after Levi got to stay with Mae in the 3 month break after the Battle of Shiganshina, he realized there’s no place he would rather be than next to her.

And so he races back to home, Whether it’s from a long eventful week filled with meetings or a trip to the interior. Every Friday night he’s next to her, with his head on her lap. In the only home he’s ever known.

And Mae, too, finds the house extremely quiet without him, even though Levi hardly makes any noise.

Loving him has become a habit now. It comes easily, From cleaning extra hard, when he comes back home, to understanding the subtlety of his love.

His presence has almost become like the air that she lives on. Something not noticed when everything is perfectly normal. But something that suffocates her when she feels his absence.

“Why are you staring at me instead of the sunset Mae?” Levi doesn’t open his eyes, but he can feel her gaze burning his side.

And Mae bites her lip at his question. A little uncertain

“Levi… “ Her voice comes out hesitant. “You bought me these dresses today, and made me feel so loved, but sometimes I can’t help but wonder if you’re staying with me out of convenience?”

Levi’s eyes flutter open and he turns to his side, facing her.

“ Am I just a habit now?” She chokes, her voice getting caught in her throat. “ Do you not find me beautiful anymore?”

And Levi falls silent, as he looks at her longer. Beautiful is too weak of a word.

“No, not at all… why would you ever think that.” Levi places his hand on her cheek, And then a tint of pink dusts his cheeks as he mumbles, “ I know I don’t say it enough, but I'm grateful to have you.”

“Then…” Mae falters and exhaustion drags through her voice. “Then why wouldn’t you just marry me?

Tears well up in the corners of her eyes. “We’ve known each other for 8 years… and we’ve been in a relationship for 6, I’ve stayed by your side through whatever the world has put us through. I… I don’t know how else I should prove my love towards you?”

And Levi looks at her, at a loss for words. She doesn't need to prove anything to him… He knows she loves him. He knows she loves him with all her heart.

Her voice cracks, heavy with emotion, but she continues. “I don’t understand where the problem is? We do everything that married couples do… We make love, we manage finances. And we’ve also been living together ever since the Survey Corps headquarters got shifted to the outskirts of Paradis.” Her lips quiver, and she tries to suppress her sobs.

But he sees her pain reflect in her orbs.

She’s his peace, in this cruel, chaotic life. But when he looks behind her, the world is still in chaos.

There’s a war out there waiting for him. And if he doesn’t go out and fight it, this world might dangle on the brink of destruction again

“It’s not you Mae…” His voice trails out. “I just don’t see the point in marriage…. I mean we know what we have, so is there any need to bring law into it? And let everyone know of something that’s so private?”

“B-but Levi…,” she refutes quietly. “ I’ve always dreamt of getting married… I’ve always dreamt of getting married to you. Can’t you let your beliefs slide for me? I’m hitting my 30’s… and all my friends are married. Every time I meet someone they ask me when I plan to get married… And it’s humiliating to tell them that I've been with someone for 6 years, and that someone is still not ready to marry me.….Sometimes I feel like you just don’t love me anymore.”

Love, the word repeats in Levi’s subconscious.

He loved her when she was just a scarred apprentice, attempting to find her place in a world where she has lost everyone. He loved her when he became Humanity's Strongest and when she became a measly waitress in a tavern. He loved her despite knowing how fragile their relationship was, and how easily this world could break it apart.

And yet, he still loves her now, as he looks at her tearstruck eyes, asking him why he wouldn’t marry her. But he loves her a little too much to make a widow out of her

And Levi knows he’s fighting a battle that isn’t his. Maybe if this had happened right after he lost Isabel and Farlan, he would have left the Survey Corps and run away with her.

But too many lives have been lost now. He’s made promises to keep and his wounds run too deep. He can’t back out of the war.

And even though things are placid now, this peace is just a temporary illusion. A brief reprieve that’s only meant to be broken.

Because war will come again, knocking on his door. And Levi will be forced to choose between his duty as Humanity’s Strongest and Mae.

His fingertips find its way to her face. Her brows are wrinkled in frustration, and his touch hovers over it. Slowly the lines ease away.

Mae closes her eyes as his feather light touches follow the arch of her eyebrow. And Levi finds it easier to mask the yearning on his face when Mae is not looking at him.

Only he knows how he wants to take her hand, and run away, somewhere far away in some secluded cottage. Just the two of them, with their little kids. He wouldn’t mind if they take more from her, than from him.

Yes he doesn’t believe in marriage, but he doesn’t mind if it makes her life more peaceful.

But peace might only find him in the form of death, before it ever touches the rest of the world.

“The world is too unpredictable right now.” His tone is assertive. It’s a statement not something that is up for discussion.

And once again Levi succeeds in trampling his desires. The mask he always wears, materializes all over. Now his heart is tucked away, somewhere safer, in a dark and distant part.

He has to keep his head over his heart. Even when he falters, even when he trips, he has to be strong.

But when Levi's eyes meet the sorrow in hers, he can’t help but feel like a useless person. “I'm so sorry sweetheart.” he sounds remorseful, “You’re not the problem, I promise…It’s me who’s not able to give you want.”

She shifts closer to him, desperate to feel his presence. And his arms wound tight around her waist as they embrace the path that destiny has set out for them.

Levi loves humanity a little too much to leave it abandoned. And Mae loves Levi as much as he loves humanity. The path set out for them has more agony than happiness.

The sun drowns under the horizon. And they drink up their misery, looking forward to death together.

______________________________

DEC 853

The first ray of dawn only brings sadness to the town.

Levi lays on the bed in a nonchalant state of humaneness. Hair messily falling on his face, tousled by the pillow underneath him. Some stubble on his chin, and his half-draped body naked under the sheets that cover him.

He looks sublime. So beautifully human.

And Mae can’t help but take a seat on the bed, lean over and capture him with a kiss.

That’s all they do for a while. Kiss, embrace, with her fingers entangling into his hair. Heaven only breaks when her tears finally slip in. Leaving a salty aftertaste on his lips.

He catches the glimmer in her eyes, as she pulls away. And Mae tries her best to conceal her grief in the rush of her actions. But it’s Levi after all, he could never miss the slight tremor in her shoulders as she wears the dress that lays discarded on the floor.

It feels like Mae is spending all her efforts to stay away from. He steps into the kitchen, and she turns the other way to drink water. He leans closer, trying to kiss the top of her head, and she pushes away, telling him she needs to take a shit.

It’s only during breakfast that he properly gets to see her face.

Her eyelids are swollen, double the size of what they usually are. And her eyes are masked in a sheer layer of moisture, threatening to spill out any second.

“You were up early.” He questions, testing the waters.

“Yeah… couldn’t get much sleep” Her voice comes out hoarse. And her gaze doesn’t leave the egg that she’s frying on the pan. He can tell she’s been crying for hours.

Levi leaves again, today.

He’s going to the enemy nation. It's not brainless titans that he has mastered slaughtering. It's a whole new country with technology far greater than theirs, and a population that hates their race, for merely existing.

And even though Levi’s been on a hundred missions before. Something about this mission makes Mae stomach churn. Like everything is going to go wrong.

But what's left to say. Levi is going to put himself in danger, and Mae can do nothing to stop him.

And so she runs away from him again. Rushing to their room as soon as she puts the eggs on his plate.

Her grief is loud in all the silence. And Levi feels a little anxious to find out the reason behind her suffering.

“Mae?” he calls out cautiously. Stepping into their room, as he finishes his breakfast.

But words don’t dare to leave her lips, instead she grabs his wrist. Pulling him to where she has laid his clothes out for him.

And in the dim light of dawn, Mae dresses Levi up.

She fastens the belt over his plants, and closes the buttons of his favorite white shirt. Her steady hands speak nothing of her trembling heart.

She drapes the blazer over his broad, strong shoulders.

The air is too thick and the silence cuts like the edge of a dull blade.

And Mae tries to focus on the silken fabric of his tie rather than the pain of him leaving.

The navy brings out the blue in his eyes.

Needless to say Levi looks gorgeous. His suit transforms him from her lover to a soldier bound to his promises. And as Mae steps back to look at Levi, the tears that she’s trying to cage, come back with full force.

“It's been 7 years Levi… 7 years since we’ve been together… Can you believe it?” Her lips meld into a sad smile. “Time has passed away so quickly, hasn’t it? It feels like it was moments ago when I saw you sitting on that boulder, like an arrogant asshole… Who would have known I’d almost spend a decade with you.”

Levi smiles at her words. Tilting her head towards him, so that he can look at her. Their gazes lock, and a universe of shared memories and unspoken words pass through their minds.

And as Mae gives his tie a final tug, her voice comes out so defeated. “I tried to keep up with you, you know? Walk at your pace, so I could be alongside you on every path you take... But you’re so much more stronger Levi, so much more faster. You are a force of nature that no one could ever stop.”

Her touches linger, laden with yearning. And the pain reflecting in her eyes makes it torturous for him to gaze into them.

He tries to shush her cries away by pressing a lingering kiss on the top of her head. Again and again, hoping the familiarity mulls her to a happier place.

“And now my legs are giving up, my bones are becoming weak. You're pacing forward and I’m slowing down… I- I’m afraid I’ll be left behind.“ Her voice quivers, and she breaks into shambles. “I was a fool to think I was strong enough to endure this?”

And when he sees her like this, choking up on her own words. With her eyes swollen, and her lips trembling with heaving exhales. He feels his strength dwindling out as well.

“W-what are you trying to say sweetheart, I’m n-not able to understand it.” His voice comes out frail. “No one’s leaving you behind.”

Stay. Mae thinks, as she looks at him. Eyes filled with both love and torment.

Time has weakened me, and I’m not the same young girl who could go months without meeting you just to see a glimpse of your face by the end of it.

Stay, while I take a moment to catch my breath.

So she places both her hands on his cheeks, making sure they memorize every scar on his face. “C-can you hold me for some time… before you leave?”

And how can Levi not give in?

He takes a seat on the edge of bed, with her positioned on his lap.

She buries her head into his chest. And he encircles his arms around her waist. Rubbing long soothing strokes against her back.

But her tears don’t stop. No matter how many kisses he leaves on her face.

He can only watch as her body rakes with sobs.

Half an hour passes away in mere seconds.

But her grip only gets tighter. She cries harder. Forcing him to stay put. If he had the choice to stay he really would. It hurts to leave when she’s in so much distress. But life has never been kind enough to give him choices.

“You know I must go,” he speaks with sadness.

Her sobs get louder .

There are words on the very tip of her tongue that are dying to come out. But time is cruel as usual.

“5 m-minutes more p-please.” She turns on his lap, so that her back is pressed to his chest. Her fingers intertwine with all of his, and she leads his hands to the swell of her belly. Keeping it there, for the last few seconds she spends with him.

“I’m s-sorry… sweetheart.” His voice breaks. It hurts to be the cause of all her sadness. But the world outside is waking, and Levi can’t afford to stay on the sidelines for too long.

And so he forces himself away, knowing he physically won’t be able to separate himself from her if she still keeps holding onto him.

Gently he picks her from his lap, and places her on the bed. ”I’ll have to go now, I’ll miss my ship.”

He tries to step away but thoughtlessly she catches his wrist.

“Levi….” She begs and he takes in a sharp breath .

“Levi… I’ve loved y-you with everything I’ve had.” She speaks between her sobs. And her eyes look so lifeless, it makes Levi’s heartbreak.

“I know… I know.” He mutters as he takes steps closer, trying to comfort her. And she is quick to wrap her arms around his waist again, resting her head against his abdomen.

“So the next time, when you come back, you’ll come back only for me… No Survey Corps, no military, no politics, no Anti-Marleyan squad.” It's not an order, not even a desire. Her words hover on the brink of a desperate plea.

And he presses a lingering kiss on the top of her head, before he steps away and walks to the doorsteps.

Silence hangs like a bereaved soul, as Levi and Mae share a final kiss. “Take care of yourself,” He takes her hand and brings it to his lips. Pressing a kiss on her knuckles.

And before he can hear the torment in her voice, he walks the other way. Knowing that he’ll never be able to leave if he catches a glimpse of her heartbroken face again.

She leans on the door frame, watching him slip away. The tears streaming down her face seem unstoppable. And t ime runs so painfully slow, it feels like she’ll have to relearn how to breathe again.

“Levi,” she calls out one last time . Her voice is forced into a low whisper, and he’s meters away from her . She begs the universe that he turns back.

And he does stop, chin jutting over his shoulder, face somber with emotion he wishes he could blink away.

And the both of them stand with their sadness. Wishing they had the time to complete all the talks that have been left incomplete. All the desires that have been left unfulfilled.

He flashes her a reassuring smile nevertheless.

And with the little strength that remains in her, she forces a smile as well. Hoping that if this is the last time Levi sees her in this lifetime, then his last memory of her is that of her smile.

Yet amidst the happiness they try to force, their eyes remain truthful, real and plain. A final sentiment shared between.

Don't forget to keep your promise .

Author's note:

Don't know how this chapter is tbh because it was really long to edit lol. But let me know what you think.

We're kinda near the end of the story tbh (I don't know if that is surprising hahah).

Also the whole dresses convo in scene 2 comes from Mae selling her dresses of in Chapter 5. (Just incase someone has forgotten because I'm taking too long to update these days)

Please don't forget to vote, if you enjoyed!

See you soon<3

18 notes · View notes