#lee eunsang angst

[sweetdejun]

coterie: the ninja star (2/2)

gang!x1 x fem!reader

synopsis: you’re an ordinary girl, with an ordinary life. but what happens when you catch the gang that is famous for keeping their deeds under the table, in action?

coterie’s masterlist can be found here

pairing: lee eunsang and y/n

a/n: mention of drugs, violence, and cursing. proceed with caution. THIS IS LONG AF. 

it took a few days for any activity to resonate between you and eunsang. after that day eunsang agreed that he’d start training you, but he had not started anything. then one day, you were cleaning around your room when you heard knocks on your door. it was eunsang. you stood confused, and in response, he only told you, “get ready and meet me outside in ten minutes.” needless to say, you followed his order, and soon were sitting in the passenger’s seat. “let me tell you something,” he started off saying, breaking the silence between the two of you. “I know that you might think what I do is violent. you’ve seen it yourself with jinhyuk. you know what I’m capable of. where I’m going to take you today may affect your decision about working with me. just know that I honestly could care less what you choose and if you don’t want to work with me after today, you are more than welcome to just lay low and not work with me.” if you weren’t confused earlier, you sure as hell were now. he pulled into a parking lot that was fairly vacant. you seemed to be surrounded by abandoned buildings, and this area didn’t look like it had seen people in a while. “wait in the car. I’ll be back,” eunsang told you before stepping out of the vehicle and making his way over to one of the buildings. he hid skillfully, and you know where he was because you saw him but you didn’t realize what was about to happen. suddenly, two men appeared to be exiting one of the buildings. one man had continued walking while one idly stood in front of the building. just then, eunsang came out and beat the man up. you didn’t need to hear the painful screams leaving the man’s mouth as he called out for someone, and you only assume he was calling the man that left with him. but it was pointless because eunsang eventually threw a punch hard enough to send the man’s head flying back, splatters of red leaving his mouth and he fell back with a thud. you were confident that as the man landed on the concrete he’d definitely broken a few bones. eunsang walked back to the car, breathing heavy. he sat in and tried not to look as your shocked expression quickly morphed into one of a poker face. “so before you decide anything let me tell you who he was. this guy is part of a huge drug scandal, which he gets from us. one of the rules when purchasing anything from us is don’t do anything that will make us look bad. the news spread that the guy was lacing candy for innocent children with drugs this past halloween. he put almost ten kids in the hospital that night. he broke the most important rule, and so seungwoo hyung told me about this guy and we decided that we should take him out.” eunsang turned back to look at you, and your eyes were wide. “he’s not dead, he’ll just be out for a day or two.” he adds in, and you visibly relax a bit. “so, now you know. tell me, is this still a position you’ll consider?” and even though he was sure you were going to deny this job, in the back of his mind eunsang couldn’t help but think maybe, just maybe, you would still stay. and when you told him, “this makes me want to do it, even more, eunsang. I hope you realize that you won’t be getting rid of me that easily, buddy. I’m staying, and if I can help keep this city clean and free of dirtbags like that, then isn’t that also helping people?” 

as soon as you agreed to train with eunsang, within a few days he decided to give you a bunch of ‘easy things’, according to him. to you, it was an introduction to self-defense, with basic moves, including various kicks and punches. and for someone who only had experience hurting cockroaches and teeny tiny spiders, you didn’t think you were doing too bad, but eunsang was quick to call you out. he’d say “not enough power” or “your stance is wrong” or “you messed up the order.” this didn’t stop you from training with him though. you’d never felt like this before, but it was an addictive feeling, punching and kicking the sandbags and the adrenaline that pumped in you and never quite died down. you remember telling eunsang about this feeling a few days after when you took a break during your session. as he drank out of his water bottle, and looked at you, heavily breathing. the fire that burned in your eyes that day in the car was unlike the one he saw now. if those were embers, then this was an inferno. eunsang knew that feeling, because it was the same thing he felt when he fought, too. at least he was doing something right, he thought, before re-wrapping his hands up with his gauze, signaling the continuation of your training session. but you were only human. because all this was new to you mentally and physically, it didn’t take long before you felt yourself starting to burn out. your body would be in pain, aching and pulsing as you’d push yourself down onto your bed, landing with a thud. all you wanted to do was sleep. and just as you felt like you were finally relaxing, your alarm would go off again, signaling the beginning of the next day. and you think you can hide your exhaustion but after seeing you starting to lose power in your punches, eunsang’s eyebrows get furrowed. “stop,” he gruffly says, holding the sandbag you just hit to halt any further movements. breathing heavily, you look back up at him, “what?” “you’re losing your power. what’s going on with you?” you brush it off, “nothing,” “y/n.” he sternly calls and you slowly meet his eyes. “you don’t think I’ve noticed, huh? you have trouble keeping your eyes open, you yawn constantly, you’ve been losing strength in your attacks. what’s wrong?” frustrated, you lean against a wall and push your hair back, “sorry, but this is all way too new for me. I thought it would be easy to get used to but it really isn’t. I’ve not had a good night’s sleep in so long, so that’s probably why I am how I am right now.” eunsang looks as if there are gears turning in his head. he sighs, placing his fingers on the bridge of his nose and groans, “fine, take a break. go fuck around, do whatever, I don’t care. sleep, right, that’s what you want? do that. but be ready to train in two days. I haven’t told you anything yet but we have a mission and it’s one where I’m going to need you to get involved also,” and just as you are about to ask him for more details, the boy pushes you out of the room and shuts the door in your face. ugh, once an ass, always an ass.

but that statement didn’t really ring true to you anymore. if someone asked you in the beginning if you liked eunsang, you’d tell them that you’d shit your pants before even starting a conversation with him. but you know that after spending more time with him, he’s not as bad as you thought he’d be. sure he can come off as an asshole sometimes and is not really the best with his words, but all in all, he’s not intimidating to you anymore. and part of you feels terrible for judging hire character even before you had a proper conversation with him, but another part of you tried to justify it by telling yourself he’s the one that beat up jinhyuk. you were the one that patched him up after that, so you remember how bad his wounds were. if eunsang could beat him up like that, who knows what else he’s capable of? but your thoughts are cut short because the minute you enter your room you hit the shower, and then plop yourself onto your bed, and the long-anticipated slumber your body craved for finally took over and within a short period of time you were out like a light. the next couple of days may have been the slowest days you’ve had ever since you’ve arrived at the mansion. because you didn’t have anything to do, you really would either sleep or just fuck around, but that got boring too quickly. all you were thinking about was the mission eunsang briefly mentioned to you, and how you were going to be involved this time around.

meanwhile, eunsang immediately noticed your absence in those two days. he didn’t realize it until now, but without you in the training room, things were kind of boring. that’s because when you started training with him, you’d train then ask him random questions, to which he’d give random answers, and as hard as his exterior made him seem, he thought you were amusing. you reminded him a lot of how he used to be. before eunsang was recruited to be a part of x1, he was... a college student, much like you were. he got in on a sports scholarship, for boxing. he was also a tae kwon do major. he remembered his freshman year when he was genuinely happy. he dreamed to open a place where he could teach children tae kwon do so that they could feel the love for the sport, just like he did. things, unfortunately, weren’t always in his favor. one day, he got a call. it was seungwoo, who offered him the job. he was elated of course, but when he told his family about it, they were adamant about telling him no. eunsang had to think long and hard: because he came in on a sports scholarship, his school tuition was paid for. his parents worked their asses off to pay for his pre-college training. if he had been given the opportunity to give back to them, then. why the fuck shouldn’t he? eunsang remained persistent and this led to his family cutting off all ties with him. now he had a job, but for who? his parents weren’t happy with him, they didn’t even want to see him anymore. so eunsang kept his word to seungwoo and stayed working for him. but not a day goes by when eunsang doesn’t remember his family. he still loves them dearly, because, well, it’s family.

pretty soon, though, the two days pass for the both of you. you walk into the training room and breathe in. you wait patiently for eunsang to show up because when he does, he sees the anticipation in your eyes, and starts, “seems like you want to know something.” “you know what I want to ask you about, eunsang.” you crossed your arms and impatiently tapped your foot. “fine, okay. the mission is in a few days and... it’s a girl.” confusion is clear on your face, so he elaborates, “the person you have to beat up is a girl.” that’s why he wants you to do it? because he doesn’t want to hit a girl? subconsciously you find this gesture of eunsang’s endearing. but you don’t let him know, and instead ask him, “who is she?” eunsang grimaces, “she’s the daughter of the military general. she’s been involved with some of the underground gangs and has also been involved in some activity involving hazing and college kids. we’re going after her because if we punish her and keep her in our custody, we’ll not only stop her from doing any more damage but also have the military general under our control.” so the next few days, your training is rigorous. in fact, you are confident that your training is the most intense now, but you think that the two day break really helped you out because as you throw your last set of punches, you could have sworn you saw eunsang smile from the corner of your eye. your suspicions proved to be true when you turned your head and the beam that grew on woman’s face remained, and you swear, your heart skipped a beat. “really good, y/n! at this rate, you’ll be ready to fight!” a hesitant smile grew on your face, but eunsang noticed it, and his eyebrows creased. “what’s wrong?” “I just...” you start, “don’t feel ready. I’ve never done something like this before, and this seems like it’s huge and I don’t wanna fuck up.” eunsang’s heartbeat accelerates as he responds,“you’ll do fine, y/n. trust me, with the way you’ve been training, you’ll definitely be able to kick her ass. I’m sure of it and if you need any help, which I doubt, I’ll be waiting for you.” eunsang places his hand on your shoulder and your eyebrows shoot up. “is this you being nice, eunsang? wow, I get this and a smile today? you must be really happy.” eunsang rolls his eyes and pushes you playfully and you laugh. he gets caught up in admiring the contours of your smile and the way the corners of your eyes crinkle. 

and the day of the fight rolls around. fast. you’ve arrived at an abandoned apartment building, eunsang is waiting nearby, equipped with a walkie talkie for efficient communication. he stands impatiently near the car, leg bouncing and praying that you stay safe. and the girl, eunha, is supposed to be arriving at this location for something. she’s not expecting to see you as she enters the building. “who the fuck are you?” her nasally voice screeches in your ears and that makes you want to punch her even more. “that doesn’t matter. what matters is I’m here to make sure you stop. no one deserves the treatment you give people. it’s disgusting.” without warning, you swing at her. the minute your fist connects with her jaw, you know it’ll end well. she holds up a fight, jabbing you in the stomach a few times while dodging your own. she has a bloody lip, and you have cuts along your knuckles and one on your forehead. “give it up already.” she tells you and attempts to kick you but you move out of the way. “make it easy for me then. stop fighting back and just come with me.” upon her refusal, you continue to fight. things start to get crazy when she picks up a metal bar that was found nearby and tries to swing it at you. you dodge it just at the right time and snatch it from her, only to pound it strongly against the back of her head. there was so much power in that one hit that eunha tightly closed her eyes, and stumbled to the ground, on her knees and her hands going up behind her head to console the fresh wound. “I got her, eunsang,” you say into the walkie talkie. you pull out a small piece of rope you’d kept with you and panting hard, you manage to tie her hands behind her back. pretty soon, eunsang shows up and finds you leaning against the wall, still huffing from your intense quarrel. he picks up eunha and throws her over his shoulder, then turns to you and motions you to lead the way. you both walk out of the building and towards the car. you open the back door for eunsang to lie eunha on the seat, and you both then sit in the front seats and eunsang starts the car, leaving the destination. “how long will she be knocked out for? I hit her pretty hard,” you start, running your fingers through your hair. you ignore the slow sinking in your stomach.“she’ll be out for a couple of hours, which is plenty of time to get her back home, and the boys will help us out from there.”  the silence grows in the car, and you’re not sure if eunsang can sense the nervousness from you. your throat seems to tighten and your head hurts immensely. when eunsang looks at you and says, “why are you crying?” you let out a shaky breath before saying, “did I do the right thing? should I have not hit her as hard?” you ramble, violently wiping at the tears falling from your eyes. eunsang hesitantly reaches over and places his hand on your knee, “hey, it’s okay. you did do the right thing. we’re not the bad guys, you know that. don’t feel bad, y/n.” eunsang stops at a red light and turns to fully look at you, his hand patting your knee. and maybe you’re just overwhelmed with emotion, but you lean in and plant a kiss on eunsang’s lips. before he seems to even react to it, you hear a honk from behind you, and you break away from the kiss. you look outside, embarrassed as ever. “sorry,” you mumble and eunsang keeps driving.

the car is silent the rest of the way until you reach the mansion. eunsang and you leave the car, and before you say anything, eunsang says, “go in. you’ve done well for the day. I’ll call the boys to help me out.” you walk quickly, entering the house, only to go directly to your room and closing the door shut once you’re in. you’re embarrassed and ashamed. “stupid, stupid, stupid.” you mumble, pacing back and forth in the room, hitting your hand against your forehead, wincing when it touched the cut inflicted during the fight. you don’t know how long you were doing that for but you hear a knock on your door. you pause and go to open the door, to reveal a flustered eunsang, playing with his hands. “can I uh, come in?” you move to the side, and he enters. “listen, about earlier,” you start, rubbing your forearm, “I just, I don’t know why I did that.” eunsang finally meets his eyes with your own and a flash of an emotion passes through them. “did it mean anything to you?” he asks, and a glint of hope is resonated in his tone. “honestly? yeah, it did. because I like you, lee eunsang. in the beginning, I hated you, but now, you’ve shown me a whole new side to you, and I liked it all. it’s okay if you don’t like me back, I get it-” you’re cut off when eunsang takes long strides towards you and joins his mouth with yours, cupping your face between his fingers and shutting his eyes. you swallow your own words as you grab onto his waist, kissing him back with just as much fervor. “I like you too, y/n. I think from the moment I met you I liked you. you just...reminded me a lot of how I used to be, happy. when I met you, I never thought I’d be happy again. I was always sad and depressed and I had a hard time expressing my feelings. but when you came along, it felt like you revived me. I can’t see myself without you anymore, and I want you to be mine.” a fresh batch of tears pool in your eyes, this time out of happiness. “of course, eunsang. I’ll be yours,” and you lean in to peck his lips once more. that night, you and eunsang stay up together, where he tells you all about how he used to live before x1, and you tell him about your college life. one thing that you both are able to agree on, though, is that in the end, you both found each other, and that’s all that matters.

a/n: that’s a wrap for eunsang! sorry if the fighting scene wasn’t all that great, I’ve never written any before 😖. thank you all for being so patient with me, this week’s been crazy and the semester is almost over so my final exams are coming up so I’ve just been really stressed with that ❤. on the bright side though, my winter break will be LONG so that means I can give you guys more coterie! now tell me, who do you choose next? if you didn’t think the ninja star was eunsang, who’d you think it was? let me know in the comments and as always, thank you guys once again for supporting the series!!

[dvrlingrenjun]

request by @songdaiyu : Hello! Can I please request X1 reacting to your group being on Idol Room with them and them thinking that you’re gorgeous and funny? 💛

「 a/n: i’m not sure if you wanted x1 to be your boyfriend or make it platonic but i’ll do both! i hope you like it! ♡ 」

masterlist - requests

x1’s reaction to you being on idol room!

han seungwoo

once the two hosts announced your group’s name, seungwoo would be pretty shocked because you never told anything about going to idol room to him but nonetheless, he would secretly love it because he gets to see you more!

he would cutely giggle whenever you make a funny comment that would make x1, the two hosts and your group crack up in laughter. he already adores you so much, i think he would adore you even more.

cho seungyoun & kim wooseok

• cho seungyoun’s celebrity crush is you ever since you debuted, he mentioned you so much in interviews, etc. to the point where the directors thought it would be a great idea to invite you and your group. he would pull on that yoon jisung shocked face, where people thought he was acting.

he would totally fangirl maybe secretly or maybe even show it. when he finally saw you in real life, he thought you are a goddess that fell from heaven. after the shooting, he wouldn’t miss the chance to give his number to you :)

• kim wooseok would probably mentally compliment you like:

“YES! THATS MY GIRLFRIEND PEOPLE!”

but of course can’t say that out loud since the relationship is private and you guys wouldn’t want to expose your statuses. so when you guys go on a date or something, he would be sure to shower you with compliments.

kim yohan

when yohan saw your group and yourself apear, he would start mentally freaking out. since x1 knew he was a fan of your group and more specifically, you as his bias.

he started freaking out more when him and you were paired up for partners for a game. he didn’t realize that you were that funny and attractive until you guys won a game, you smiled cutely and went to high five yohan. who was dozed off at the sight of you, in a good way lmao.

lee hangyul

hangyul would be more hyper than usual, he would be really happy that you came and plus, they looked really pretty that day. not saying that they looked ugly before.

he would be so happy that the two hosts pointed his behavior out, hangyul would have to lie and say it was coffee or something like that. or saying that it’s his usual behavior. *cough* team rocket *cough*

cha junho

i feel like junho bb would actually try to avoid you haha, if you two were in a relationship, it would be because some people are crazy these days and somehow found out you two would be dating.

but if you guys didn’t know each other personally, i feel like he would avoid you because you looked so pretty in real life, he wouldn’t want to be near you because of that reason lol.

son dongpyo

dongpyo would clap and laugh at everything you would say. say something that’s not even funny? cue dongpyo cutely laughing while clapping.

in his eyes, you were actually really funny, from witty comebacks to funny comments that cracks everyone up. after he session, he would know for sure that he wants to be friends with you. or maybe even a bit more than friends ?

kang minhee

minhee would probably send you finger hearts secretly, he gave the brightest smile when he saw you and your group walk on to the set.

whenever you two are out with cameras around, you would send low key finger hearts to each other. yes it was risky but minhee and you loved the thrill of it. that day, minhee sent a lot of hearts which meant that he would want to compliment you during those times but couldn’t. he thought that the new hairstyle you tried on today looked really pretty and couldn’t wait to comment on it when you two are alone.

lee eunsang

eunsang wouldn’t exactly interact with you during the times when the cameras were rolling but whenever you caught his eye. he would lightly smile at you before looking somewhere else.

when you were dancing to girl group songs with hyeongjun though, he would cheer as loud as he can. he wants you to know that you slay because we stan queens/kings/royalty sisss.

hi i miss lee jinwoo :(

song hyeongjun

it was known that you and hyeongjun are really close friends since childhood. so he was estatic to see you after such a long time, due to both of your busy schedules and careers.

he would make sure to make some perfect friend goal pictures whether on the side-lines or not. he wanted to show off his beautiful and funny friend to the world and made sure of it.

nam dohyon

i feel like dohyon would pull on that face in the ghost scare ep when he heard a creaking noise and would scream when you two would always make eye contact.

dohyon is just a shy baby, so he would probably get teased a lot during that hour. but after that, he would probably try to act cool and ask you to hang out some time because “you seem cool and funny.”

[pyox1]

[11:34pm] "What's wrong baby?" Seungyoun asked, his thumb rubbing circles on your hand. You didn't dare to look at him in the eyes. Too nervous for your own good, you nervously chewed down on your bottom lip, a habit that drove the boy crazy.

"It's just that, I don't really know what I'm doing... I really want to kiss you, but now just a peck you know? I mean, I don't really know..." Gosh, you thought. You probably sounded so stupid. To your surprise, Seungyoun only chuckled.

"Your too cute." He said, cupping both of your cheeks and bringing your face close to his, gently pecking your forehead.

"I'll teach you, okay?" You eagerly nodded, making him smile.

"First off, you want to get closer to the person you're with." He instructed. You scooted closer to him, his thigh now brushing against yours. He then carefully took your hands and brought them to his shoulders.

"Secondly, make eye contact." The tension in the room was rising. His pupils stared into your own, his glance persistant. Your breathing hitched as he started to lean closer. He stopped when his lips grazed over yours. Closing your eyes, you waited for the impact. When nothing happened, you opened them to see what was happening. Only a few inches away from your face, Seungyoun smirked.

"Thirdly, just go for it." With that, he pressed his mouth to yours, molding your lips together. Trying to keep up with his movements, you hands reached up to behind his neck. As you started lightly scratching the back of his neck, Seungyoun let out a sigh of pleasure in your mouth. Gaining confidence, you started being more comfortable in the kiss. Noticing you were more relax, Seungyoun took the opportunity to bite your lower lip, making you gasp. His tongue now against yours, you felt electricity run through your body. You had never felt like this before, but you love it. When you both separated for air, Seungyoun brought you on top of him, straddling him.

"Lastly, do it again."

[milky-mochi]

[8.02am] in which eunsang finds out about x1′s disbandment

! - mild swearing

you never fully understood how quickly a headline could change someone’s life.

when eunsang scrolled through his phone as per his morning routine, he had never expected his world to crumble. he expected new stories from his friends, or someone asking him for the answers to the homework. but not that headline. not the few words that would wreck everything he had put his heart and soul into.

he sat frozen on the edge of his bed as his phone fell out of his hands. his eyes were blanketed with a layer of tears threatening to fall, but he did not have the energy to see them through. he sat there, truly and utterly frozen.

you walked into the room with a smile on your face, hoping to ask him about where you guys should go for breakfast. but when you saw him stilled and his breathing getting heavier, your smile dropped. you rushed to his side, placing a hand on his shoulder on instinct.

“what's wrong? are you okay?”

he didn’t respond. his eyes fixated on the patch of flooring just in front of his feet. eunsang didn’t know what he was feeling, and yet, he was feeling too much at once. anger, confusion, sadness, loss, and hopelessness, all mixing in an ugly mess in the pit of his stomach, shutting down all senses in his body. eunsang felt numb.

after receiving no response from him, you picked up his phone on the bed beside him. on the screen was the soompi article, shouting out that eunsang’s dreams had been shattered. even worse, countless people had liked the article and shown support for it, making your blood boil hot in your veins.

“did they tell you about this first?” 

an anxious heartbeat passed before eunsang responded. it was a slight movement, barely the ghost of a shake, his head nudging itself towards the side before returning, but it was enough to break the both of you.

you pulled him into a hug, gently holding his nape. he buried his face into the crook of your shoulder before moving his hands to your waist to pull you closer. it was only in this position did his eyes release his tears. you felt them, warm and bitter, against your skin. 

they first came in silence, with nothing but eunsang’s heavy breathing to accompany them. but when you placed a hand on his back to reassure him, he broke. a desperate cry emitted from his lips. you felt it vibrate against your collarbone as you pulled him even closer. he cried his soul out for god knows how long, emptying his sadness into your shoulder.

“what the hell,” he whispered desperately after a long time of crying. “what the hell. what’s going on?”

you stroked his shoulder. “i have no idea. have you called them? maybe it’s a mistake.”

eunsang gently shook his head. you felt his hair shift under your chin. “seungwoo-hyung messaged us. said it was real. didn’t wanna read the full message,” he said in between breaths.

your hand came up to stroke his hair, holding the back of his head ever so gently, as if he might break under any pressure. tears began to well up in your own eyes. “i'm so, so, so sorry, eunsang.”

he sniffled, before pulling himself up to look you in the eyes. that’s when you saw his eyes. they were red and puffy, but within those tears, you saw him. he was close to breaking. the pieces of his soul were stitched precariously together, and this piece of news threatened to rip the threads wide open. he was shaky when he spoke, the words weighing down on his tongue.

“y/n, what did i do wrong?”

you broke at his words. the tears came streaking down your face. he thought this was on him. innocent eunsang, who worked harder for this than you had ever seen before, thought that this mess was somehow done by him. it was so screwed up it made your heart ache.

your hand came to caress his cheek. “eunsang, you did nothing wrong. this- this bullshit, it’s all because of some stupid adults who thought all this shit was okay. i hate them so much for it. and all your fans hate them too. but this is not on you, eunsang. not in the slightest bit.”

eunsang sniffled again. “really?”

you smiled at him and nodded your head, brushing a tear away from his cheek. “you deserve better. and you’re going to get it one day.”

eunsang’s shaky face revealed the ghost of a smile, and you had never been more relived. it hurt you so much to see him cry. “really?” he asked, still in disbelief.

you laughed and nodded again, taking his hand in yours. this entire situation was screwed up, and eunsang didn’t deserve any of it. you would burn down that entire building if you good, scream bloody murder as you fought all of them one by one. but you couldn’t. so you hoped that you being here for him would be enough. 

you hoped he knew that we would never be alone. he would still have his fans, and his members. and he would have you, for as long as he walked the earth, and as long as your lungs breathed in air.

“we’ll get through this, eunsang,” you assured him, squeezing his hand, “together.”

---

a/n: hello!! it's been really long since i’ve written for x1, and i’m so sorry it’s angst aksoihd but i am Still Not Over the d-word, so i made myself cry lol anyway x1 pls come back

[yvnseong]

𝑚𝑎𝑛𝑦 𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑝𝑎𝑠𝑡 𖧷 𝑙𝑒𝑒 𝑒𝑢𝑛𝑠𝑎𝑛𝑔

credits to: @asdfghjilysm they came up with the prompt that inspired me to write this!!!

𖧷𖧷𖧷

“Hey Grandma?” Yunseo asked curiously.

“Yes Yunseo?” I responded smiling at the younger girl with me at the table helping me go through my old items.

“Who’s this?” She questioned her hands holding a photograph taken many summers past. She handed me the photo of a young male laid in the grass, his head resting on his hand, with his other arm stretched out. I smiled softly at the discovery of the old picture.

“Lee Eunsang.” The smile etched onto my face faltered for only a second as memories of that summer flood back to my head. “My first love.”

Her hands once again took the picture from my hands, she studied it carefully. Her eyes scanning every part of the picture. “When did you take this picture Grandma?”

“The summer of 1969. We were about your age. So somewhere around sixteen or seventeen. It was the last time I saw him.” You said reminiscing on that summer. You watched intently as Yunseo continued to study the picture carefully.

“What was happening in that moment for him to look so happy?” She asked, a delicate smile gracing her lips as she saw the pure happiness present in his eyes. His lips brought up into a gorgeous smile.

“Would you like to hear a story?” I asked, my eyes trained on her face. She blinked slowly, gently handed me the photo and nodded. I smiled.

𖧷𖧷𖧷

Summer 1968

Lee Eunsang was in love. Who was he in love with?

It was the girl who worked at the photography studio with her family. They met the day Eunsangs mother had insisted getting a family portrait, much to his and his sisters annoyance they went anyways. They entered the studio, bitterly he sat in a waiting chair and then he saw her.

She passed by and gave them a polite smile. Her hands holding a large folder filled with something. Eunsang didn’t care what the folder was filled with, he was entranced by the beautiful girl. She noticed his stares and smiled coyly. Making eye contact with him and throwing him a playful wink before walking away.

He was embarrassed, his dad began to poke fun at him for getting caught staring and he just laughed sheepishly. Although embarrassed, all he wanted was to get to know you.

When the family was called to the area for the photos he was not exactly surprised but more so shy to see you there helping set up the cameras and the stools on which he and his sister would be sitting on. The family walked towards the seats and began to start to position themselves following their introduction to the photographer. Eunsang stayed quiet until, “Hello! That’s Eunsang he’d like to take you on a date. What’s your name?”

His head whipped quickly towards his sisters direction, his sister laughed and his parents couldn’t help but try and muffle their laughter. “I’m Y/N. Nice to meet you Eunsang.” You said holding back giggles, extending your hand out. His face was bright red but he ignored it as he held out his hand to shake yours. “Nice to meet you Y/N.”

“Now about the date, when are you free?” She questioned him shyly her cheeks hot with the sudden shyness that overcame her.

Eunsang was taken aback, but he wasn’t going to let that hold him back.

𖧷

Summer 1969

Things moved quickly. You both became inseparable spending all your time together. Most of your dates you spent in parks, having picnics and talking about life.

One day in particular you showed up at the park after being dropped off by your dad. You held a camera you had been gifted by your aunt. “Eunsang look at the camera I got!” You smiled excitedly gently placing the camera into his larger hands. He looked at the camera and examined it. “My aunt gave it to me.”

A smile came onto his face, “Can I take a picture of you?” And so he did, once the photo came out from the top of the camera he shook it. The smile from previously widely present. His eyes filled with love as he looked down at the picture of you. He placed it into the pocket of his white shorts being careful with the photo. Y/N grinned gently pulling him closer by his striped yellow tie pressing a loving kiss to his lips. They both stayed there for a moment before she pushed him back.

He fell onto the grass a small laugh escaping his lips. She picked up the camera and held it up pointing it towards him. “Smile!” She said happily his head rested against his arm and he outstretched his arm happily smiling as he posed for the picture she was about to take.

CLICK!

The photo came out and she instantly began to fan it. He smiled watching her lovingly his eyes studying her in that moment. He never wanted this to end. She looked at the picture and giggled. She quickly flashed it to him before hiding it. “Let me see it Y/N!”

Y/N stood up and ran away giggling before yelling out, “Catch me!” They ran around for a while before the both got tired and collapsed to the ground where they had previously been taking photos.

They laid besides eachother. He turned to look at the girl, she stared up at the clouds a tired smile on her face, and he studied her features as always. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her. He threw an arm over her stomach and they laid there. It was peaceful.

𖧷𖧷𖧷

“His sister asked you out for him?” Yunseo said laughing.

I giggled along with her, “I know! He would’ve never done it himself.” My hands gently put down the picture. It seemed like just yesterday we were both running around that park. I laughed softly to my self, he never saw the picture.

“What happened to Eunsang?” Yunseo asked carefully. My smile faltered as I placed my hands on the table opening a small album filled with old photos I couldn’t seem to detach myself from. I picked up the photo and delicately slid it into the album.

“He died my love.” You said in a hushed voice, almost reliving the pain you felt back in 1969. You looked up to see her and she was silent, wanting to ask something but being unsure how to ask.

“If you don’t want to answer it’s okay but, how did he die Grandma?” She said softly.

“The day we took those pictures, his mom picked us up and dropped me off at home before they headed back to their house. On the way to his house their car was hit by a drunk driver. They both passed away. His sister and father moved away and I never saw them after the funeral.” I explained, a soft smile etched itself on my face.

I looked up at Yunseo and she was in a state of shock. She processed the information before saying, “That’s horrible.” I nodded softly.

“On a lighter note he’s also how I met your grandfather honey.” I said laughing slightly.

“Really?” She asked shocked. Her hand had flown to her mouth.

“Mhm. They were friends and we got closer after his death as we both were grieving, but that’s a story for another time.” I said quietly.

“Grandma, why did you keep his photo for all these years?” Yunseo asked genuinely curious.

“Some people you’ll never forget. He’s my first love, and a part of me will always hold him close to me heart.” You said simply. I looked up at her and saw tear begin to well in her eyes. I reached out and gently wiped her tears away.

I looked back down at the picture book in which I had placed his picture. I smiled softly gently turning the page onto the next page.

Many summers past, and he’s still a part of my heart.

[strawbwrry]

just down the road ༄ lee eunsang

word count : 1.37k

song rec : the unknown guest ༄ dean

i wasn’t originally planning to write something for christmas as i know many people don’t celebrate, but what can i say i couldn’t help myself! (i wrote this on a whim sorry if it’s bad lmaooo)

while i should’ve spent this time working on chapter five (coming soon) i needed to do this for myself, cause gabby misses eunsang :,)

hope you enjoy!

༄

The air was cold against my skin, my fingertips grew icy at the feeling of the low temperature against my hands, I smiled anyways at the sight that laid just before me.

What a wonderful surprise.

༄

Christmas time. While many don’t celebrate, and others just seems to dislike the time, many feel joyful, many feel a sense of relaxation around this time of year. I was not one of them. Every Christmas seemed the same to me. It got cold outside, we got a break from school, and I’d see bundles of happy families walking around the streets, people shopping for presents, carolers roaming houses, packed stores. It was odd. I wanted it to bring joy, to spark some feeling in my chest, but it never did.

Walking down the town center brought back memories I had tried to compress, but as always they came back at full force. I exhaled a sigh that came out merely as a cloud of fog before my face, the warmth of my body fading as I had come to a halt, I’d never seen him here. I looked at the boy in wonder, something about him made me smile, he looked at me and returned the smile, a kind reminder that I must’ve been staring. I walked last him and notice his red finger tips, the tip of his red nose, the pale skin the seemed much lighter in the cold, I couldn’t help it.

“Would you like my hot pack? You must need it more than I do.”

I took out my hot pack and placed it into his slightly outstretched hand, I watched as his eyes widened as a sudden rush of warmth coursed through his body, “Thank you! My name is Eunsang.”

I sent him a smile back, a sudden heat coursing through my face as I stared at his lovely smile, “My name is Y/N.” I stuck my hand out of my pockets to shake it briefly before turning to walk away. As I walked away I seemed to have found a sort of joy coming from the interaction, maybe it was the spirit of giving, maybe it wasn’t, but whatever it was, I loved it. That was for sure.

༄

“Eunsang you need to be more careful!” I gently placed the bandaid against the side of his finger and watched as he flinched, I smiled softly at him, then wrapped the adhesive parts of the bandaid around his finger. He looked up at me and gave me a bashful smile, “I wanted to make us food!”

I only smiled at the pure caring nature behind his clumsy acts, he stood up once again and turned back to where he had been previously, “You can supervise me but I’m still making us food! You can’t stop me Y/N!” I grew shy at the cute way he said that, my cheeks flushing then instantly going back to how they were as I placed my frigid fingertips to poke at my cheeks. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t fight back the small laugh that came as he began to cut the food, his pace now comically slow.

I ruffled his hair and watched him as he chopped slowly, a shy smile still present on my face as I stared at my best friend. Call me crazy, but I wasn’t so sure if I looked at Eunsang the way most people look at their best friend. At every corner you could see me staring at him for just a bit longer than I should’ve, thinking about him during the late night when I just couldn’t sleep, only to be surprised by the sudden text from the boy who just knew I’d be awake.

It was odd wasn’t it?

༄

“What do you want for Christmas?” His wide grin seemed to never leave his face as his hand held onto mine in the pocket of his large sweater. I played off the red on my cheeks as the cold, but my problem was white the opposite. I gripped at his hand a little tighter, the heat of the hot pack between our hands sending a wonderful chill up my spine, “I’d love anything you’d get me.”

“Really?” I nodded, then averted my gaze just down the road to see a small patch of grass by a short tree, surrounding the tree was a wide area of houses brightly lit up by colorful bright strings of lights, it seemed so lonely, so void of anything colorful, it was almost unsettling. In an area so colorful, so lit up, so joyful, rested an area of total darkness that didn’t match the rest of it. Eunsang noted your wandering eyes, and made a mental note, one to which you weren’t aware of. “Guess I’m buying you a burrito blanket.”

༄

“You actually bought me a burrito blanket!” I stared at my computer screen in shock, a semi blurry video of Eunsang stared back at me, he giggled at my surprised as I pulled out the large circular blanket, “It’s so soft!” I looked through the rest of the gifts and smiled, a tiny teddy bear in a raincoat and hat, my favorite snacks, and a small little drawing.

“Well do you like it?”

“I love it!”

“Really?”

I nodded excitedly pulling the blanket up to my cheek and holding it there, the soft fabric up against my skin making he laugh at the ridiculousness of the gift, “There’s actually another thing for your gift, but you have to go outside to see it. I promise it’s not far, just down the road.”

The call ended abruptly leaving me in a very dimly lit room, I pulled myself away from the blanket and stood up stretching. My hands pulled on another sweater and I quickly tip toed down the stairs leaving the sleeping figures of my parents laid across the sofa in ways that would certainly lead to aches. I quickly pulled on my shoes and stepped outside, with only my clothes and my phone I walked down the road.

The lights seemed brighter tonight, brighter than they’d ever been. I walked down the sidewalk anxiously, my hands balled into fists beneath the large cozy fabric of my sweater, they felt light warm, yet freezing at once. I looked up and saw light sprinklings of snow begin to fall and smiled, as I came towards the end of the road I squinted while looking in the direction of the short tree that now stood decorated and bright, but beneath the tree was the person I couldn’t seem to get off of my mind, Eunsang.

It was in an instant that I began running towards him, smiling as my body came into contact with his, he held me close against him and I felt my heart flutter and an odd sense of warmth fill my body. His cold hands held mine, but they began to grow warm. I looked at the tree excitedly, the tree now gleaming brightly just like the rest of the road just behind me, his cold hand caressed my face gently and he placed a big kiss to my forehead and looked down at me,

“I know I said I was moving, but did you really think I’d leave you alone on Christmas?”

“I guess I kinda knew you wouldn’t.”

༄

I stared at the brightly lit tree, it was his tradition. Every Christmas he’d come and decorate the tree, and we’d play in the snow, except now it was all different.

Christmas time used to be a time of loneliness, a time I’d spend watching people be happy with their loved ones, a time I had grown to dislike. Now it more closely mirrored what I used to watch, spending night with Eunsang baking cookies, cuddling to movies, and playing in the snow, it was odd wasn’t it?

Wasn’t it odd how a tree down the road and a hot pack could change everything?

The air was cold against my skin, my fingertips grew icy at the feeling of the low temperature against my hands, I smiled anyways at the sight that laid just before me.

What a wonderful surprise.

[lovelyjunho]

like always

— a story about twelve friends who parted ways after high school, that decide to meet up once again by the eldest’s suggestion. the twelve were surprised to see how nothing really changed and realized how much they still love and need each other, like always.

coming soon

[tomyw0rld]

seven minutes | eunsang

[15:20]

one minute

you coughed almost a single whole flower.

time was ticking at a hasty pace, in minutes. in seconds. in milliseconds.

you used to think time went too slow.

two minutes

another cough, another flower again.

so this is what it feels like. to die. to die from hanahaki specifically, how unfortunate can one be?

while everyone goes around happily with their soulmate, eunsang just doesn’t love you back.

three minutes

you coughed again.

alone in your room isolated in the dark.

you wondered what would happen when you’ll be gone. how will they rule my death? how will people, my peers, my friends, my family, eunsang, how will they feel about my death?

four minutes

another cough.

you remembered yesterday when eunsang said hi to you, and after you had to run right away to an isolated place to cough out everything. to try and find air.

you tried to hold in your coughs. but they kept coming.

five minutes

you remembered the first time you hung out with eunsang afterschool. you remembered how fun it was. you wanted that feeling to remain forever.

but it wouldn’t. you weren’t lucky like that.

six minutes

6 minutes, 6 months ago is when this all started.

“that’s the girl i have a crush on” eunsang pointed to a girl across the field.

you cleared your throat, realizing how sudden your throat clogged and how scratchy it felt.

now the feeling in your throat felt like knives were stabbing it.

it was getting harder to breathe and the coughs were never ending.

seven minutes

this was it. the end of everything.

my only regret in life, was not telling you how i felt sooner.

and with that thought, you coughed one last flower

a cherry blossom.

[adorex1]

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───  [𝟭𝟭:𝟭𝟭𝗽𝗺]

𝘗𝘢𝘳𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘯 𝘢 𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘩 𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘤𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘸, 𝘌𝘶𝘯𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘨 𝘨𝘳𝘪𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘵𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘭𝘺, 𝘬𝘯𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘭𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘵𝘦. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥, 𝘳𝘶𝘣𝘣𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘰𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘤𝘪𝘳𝘤𝘭𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘳𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘮. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘸 𝘶𝘯𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘢𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘣𝘰𝘵𝘩 𝘸𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘴𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘭𝘺 𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘨𝘦, 𝘢 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘸 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘧𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘛𝘰𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘥 𝘣𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘢 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘵𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘨𝘦. 𝘛𝘰𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘣𝘺𝘦. "𝘔𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘢 𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘩." 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘴 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘭𝘰𝘶𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘢 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘳. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴.

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘧𝘦𝘸 𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘬𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘢 𝘣𝘭𝘶𝘳. 𝘈𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘰𝘰𝘯 𝘣𝘰𝘣𝘢 𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘴, 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘬𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘬, 𝘭𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘭𝘦𝘯 𝘬𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘴 𝘥𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘤𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘴. 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘥𝘶𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘦𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘥𝘶𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘤𝘢𝘱𝘴 𝘶𝘱 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘪𝘳, 𝘴𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘵 𝘌𝘶𝘯𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘨. 𝘞𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴 𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘱𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴, 𝘢 𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘬𝘪𝘴𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥,

"𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶."

𝘕𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘩, 𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘯𝘰 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘤𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘶𝘯𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘸.

𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘰𝘮𝘦, 𝘌𝘶𝘯𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘣𝘣𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘰𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘴, 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘮. "𝘋𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘩?" 𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘨𝘯𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘦𝘮𝘯 𝘢𝘵𝘮𝘰��𝘱𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦. "𝘔𝘺 𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘨𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰, 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘣𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘺. 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘺, 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘦 𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺'𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘥... 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺'𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘶𝘭." 𝘏𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘦𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘥, 𝘣𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘺𝘦𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘦𝘬, 𝘬𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘦𝘵 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘧𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶.

𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘦, 𝘥𝘳𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘸𝘪𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘴 𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘦𝘧𝘵.

𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘸.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

☁️ 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵 ☁️

[jistays]

it’ll always be you

lee eunsang. the name of a boy you had held so close to your heart.

the snow crunched beneath your feet. trees resembling dark sticks surrounded you. hues of whites and grey inhabited the sights before you. you were following a small path that led you deep in the forest.

the air was crisp, stinging your red stained cheeks and nose. the sting was a nice contrast to the numb feeling inside of you. this is why you had taken a walk in such temperatures. it was a desperate attempt to clear your head. you felt peace in the serene commodities of nature.

other than nature, there was another thing that gave you the same contentment. lee eunsang. the boy with the brightest smile and the loudest laugh. the two of you had been best friends for a time. eunsang was a nice boy, to say the least. that was an understatement. you met as 6 year olds. you were feeling distraught after being left out in the games that your classmates were playing. the black haired boy was there though, to introduce you to the amazing game of tag. although now, those times were over. the boy you had once shared joy with was gone. there was no warning. he just left.

now, at age 16, you were alone. alone to swim in your own thoughts. you felt empty. you had tried to forget about eunsang in the form of studying, but even in the middle of exams, you caught yourself thinking about the boy who’d sing you to sleep. you didn’t know why you felt like this. it was just eunsang, right? you had other friends — they were there in full support of you too. school wasn’t too tough for you, you had study times planned out, and you could understand what the teachers were talking about. why was there a hollow feeling in the pit of your stomach? not even playing guitar could get rid of your worries. to think of it, everything else that made you happy just didn’t feel effective anymore.

“hello there, little one” a familiar voice interrupted your trance in the snow below. “eunsangie?” you called out, looking up, dark eyes filled with hope.

[sweetdejun]

coterie: the ninja star (1/2)

gang!x1 x fem!reader

synopsis: you’re an ordinary girl, with an ordinary life. but what happens when you catch the gang that is famous for keeping their deeds under the table, in action?

coterie’s masterlist can be found here

pairing: lee eunsang and y/n

a/n: cursing and mild violence, so proceed with caution.

you hold the ninja star with caution, making sure the sharp edges don’t poke your hand. you surprise yourself with the choice you made; of all the knick-knacks and trinkets in the glass bowl, you picked this? nevertheless, you displayed the sharp object to the boys and your stomach felt like it dropped down to your feet when you saw the boy move up. “it’s me.” it was the same boy from earlier, from the interaction with jinhyuk. the violent threats he made still fresh in your mind, when you were given the decision to choose who you wanted, you most definitely did not want to choose him, but fate was never on your side. seungwoo glanced at the boy then back at you, now frozen in shock. “alright, eunsang, you take her with you, then and tell her what you do.” your eyes are glued to the ground, so you hear the squeak of shoes and footsteps going different directions and flinch as a hand wraps around your wrist, roughly dragging you. only then do you come back to reality, eyes making their way up to see the force belonging to the boy you’re working with. “y/n y/l/n.” he mumbled, and you squeak back, “y-yes?” “you remember my name?” your mind goes back to the names from earlier. dongpyo, was it? no, that was the shorter boy. maybe hangyul? oh no, that was the other guy. his name was- “lee eunsang. you took too long to answer so I’ll just tell you,” eunsang comes to an abrupt stop in the middle of the hallway, and because he stopped with a sudden force, you collided into his back. you see him clench his jaw and he fully turns around to face you. the rage in his eyes is like none other, you think and he growls a bit and reaches for the ninja star in your hand, pulling it out of your grasp. the vigor with which he yanked the small weapon from your hand causes a corner of it to cut your palm a bit, and instinctively, you wince at the sting and pull your hand up to your chest, guarding it with the other hand. “you’re fragile,” he scoffs, rolling his eyes. “that tells me you may not even be suited for this job. not to worry, your first task is simple; remember my name. that shouldn’t be too hard, but judging by the fact that I just told you my name out there, a little over ten minutes ago and you still forgot it tells me this is gonna be a lengthy task for you.” he turns around on his heel, and heads back to the same direction. and although you are frightened to death, you call out, “what’s your job here?” he turns his head and says, “meet me here tomorrow at 5 am, sharp. then I’ll tell you. for now, do whatever the fuck you want. my head is pounding like a bitch,” and he leaves you standing in the hallway. you manage to find your way back to your room. 

how rude, you think, as you slump back onto your bed. so far, eunsang has left nothing but bad impressions on you. hell, the first time you saw the guy, he was beating the shit out of jinhyuk. you remember his merciless gaze and the way anger seemed to constantly burn in his eyes, and that causes a shiver to run down your back. you lift your hand to examine it; that moment had gone by so quick, with the way eunsang spoke to you and the way he snatched the weapon out of your hand, you didn’t even stop to check how badly you had been cut. thankfully, the ninja star didn’t penetrate too deep into your skin, and you ran your fingers over the small running down your palm when you heard a knock on your door. alarmed, you slowly rose and went to answer it, only to find soonja standing there, with a first aid kit in her hand. your shock must’ve been apparent on your face, because soonja then smiled, “mr. lee asked me to bring these to you, as you were injured. do you need any assistance with cleaning the wound?” you accepted the kit she was holding out for you and politely shook your head, giving her a thank you before she gave you a short bow and walked away. you sit comfortably on your bed, before opening the first aid kit and treating the cut. while applying the ointment, you begin to think, wow, the asshole does have a heart. he sent a first aid kit to apologize because he literally almost stabbed my hand, and you scoff before grabbing a bandaid and sealing the wound. you put up the first aid kit, then head to bed, because it’s been a long day for you. there’s one problem, though; you can’t fall asleep. you knock out for intervals before waking up again and again. maybe it’s where you are or even everything you’ve dealt with within the past 24 hours, which is causing the disturbances in your slumber. it feels like you’ve just tucked yourself into bed, but when you turn over to check the time on your phone, you read that it’s almost a quarter to four in the morning. you lied in bed at around 12:30. sighing because it’s useless to fall asleep when you would be waking up in an hour, you push yourself out of the covers and wash your face. you throw on a hoodie over your pajamas and decide that since you weren’t planning on going back to sleep anytime soon, you may as well explore this house a little more.

and so you went, walking down the seemingly endless hallways. while some of the doors are closed (you assume the other guys are probably in those rooms and sleeping at this time, like normal people) you still find tons of other rooms, with doors open enough for you to sneak in and out of. so far you’ve seen a theater room, a room with a bunch of files, and just some spaces used for storage. as you walked down another hallway, you couldn’t help but notice the increasingly louder noises of something getting hit repeatedly. you had towards the direction of the noise. the sound gets clearer and you pick up smaller grunts. finally, you reach the door and you see it’s a workout room. and dead center stood a panting eunsang, a sandbag swinging lightly back and forth. you notice that his knuckles were starting to bleed, so you cleared your throat, signaling your presence, to which eunsang peers at you with heavy breaths. his eyes then flash over to the clock hanging on the wall. “you’re here early. why’s that?” “couldn’t sleep. so I decided to go on a little adventure this morning,” and as you lifted your hand to fix your hair, eunsang’s eyes darted to the bandaid you used on the cut from earlier. clearing his throat and darting his eyes to a different direction, he started, “sorry about your hand.” you shook your head, “it’s fine, it wasn’t even that deep of a cut.” the room when silent for a bit and all that was heard were eunsang’s breaths, slowly coming back to their normal rhythm. “you asked me last night what I do in the gang, and I told you I would give you the answer now. so, here it is. you saw me that night, beating up your boyfriend-” “he’s not,” you cut him off and eunsang’s gaze shoots up at you, and you urge him to continue, “well, uh, jinhyuk, then. that’s what I do; I’m the ‘bad cop’, I am the one in charge of showing people their place, to remind them who’s the one with the power. I do most of the fighting our gang typically gets involved in. so there, now you know. I’m going to also make you stay paired with me since this was your choice and I cannot tell you to pick someone else. otherwise, seungwoo hyung’s gonna have my ass, and I can’t have that happen to me. so,” he crosses his arms and examines your facial expressions, unable to decipher what’s really going through your mind. “I’ll make it simple. tell me when you’re ready, and I will start training you. you will act as my helper. ‘help me fight the bad guys’ if you will.” the thought of you kicking ass wasn’t something you’d ever imagined would leave you feeling great but you’re not sure why you want to know if you have it in you to thrash someone to a pulp. especially if they are in the wrong. you obviously won’t go around beating up innocent people, but if you have the power to change a society like this, why wouldn’t you take it? sure it’s not conventional, but it’s all the more an experience you will never get anywhere else. after much thought, eunsang gets no response, and exhales, “alright, well, clearly you’re not ready for it, so don’t stress too much. you’re free to do what you want until you are ready to do this with me. I’m not going to force you to do anything.” he picks up a towel and is heading towards the exit when you call his name, your voice bouncing off the walls of the room. he stops and pivots to look at you, and you turn around and ask him, “when do we start?”

[pyoffy]

4:35pm.

It was the perfect time for a picnic date. Just a simple picnic date surrounded by the beauty of nature, the green shade of the grass vibrantly popping out and the soft colours of each flower blending in perfectly with the sunlight and the vibrant greens.

You sat on the picnic blanket you and Wooseok bought for your first date, it was in the soft shade of blue with small prints of clouds on it. You welcomed the soft breeze lightly hitting your skin, your hair flowing like slow water currents behind you. You closed your eyes and looked up to the sky as the sunlight drew golden rays on your face. You held your own hand, let out a sigh and gave the bright sky a bitter smile.

“I could’ve prevented it from happening but I was too selfish, I was inconsiderate and immature to make you leave in that weather. I lost you, Kim Wooseok and I can’t have you back.“

You looked down on your feet, your face starting to heat up as tears started to run down your face.

“I miss you, Kim Wooseok. I miss you always.”

[deobitchxx]

[ 16:55 // 11.10.19 // ANGST ] “So if you turn to your right side, you have to say ‘I love you’ and when you turn to your left side, you have to say ‘Go away’.” Minhee told us the instructions to the game he wanted to play during that night. Hyeongjun’s dad opened a new beach villa and he wanted to let Hyeongjun enjoy there with his friends, so he decided to bring them during the summer's night. Everything about nature is breathtaking and you wished to remember every moment of it, but it just turned out to be a midsummer night's dream. They circled around as you sat in between Junho and Minhee, who immediately made you look so tiny with giants protecting you at your sides.

“I love you.” Minhee started off, as he turned his right to face you. You held yourself from laughing, since it was forbidden during the game on. You shook your head, tsked and replied, “Go away.” He puffed out his lower lip as he turned to his left side, which happened to be one of the female friends, “Go away.” The game went on and it was sure an interesting game, not until something caught your attention. It happened right in-front of you, with the sight of your best friend faced her right side, Eunsang, with full of affections all over her flawless face. Her soft “I love you” completed it all, as if she was intended to make it a confession. You were aware of the fact that your best friend likes Eunsang and vice versa, but you can’t just seemed to let your kindergarten sweetheart away from your memory. You thought he would at least turn back to you, or maybe he would make your fantasy come true. However, you were so certain about it when Eunsang replied back “I love you too” instead of saying the right words.

[eunsangst]

hi! just wanna tell you guys that i'm not "choosing" which requests to only do. if i haven't done your request, it just means i haven't thought of the best scenario for it yet so it may have to wait. but rest assured that i'm going to do all the requests you guys send me.

thank you so much for sending requests! it makes my creative juices flow ♡

[yvnseong]

𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘥 𖧷 𝘤𝘩𝘢 𝘫𝘶𝘯𝘩𝘰

hello again! so following the release of “many summers past” i got the uRGE to write the second story I mentioned in the first post. before that though i’d really like to thank everyone who read it and said such nice things, i’ve never gotten such a response for ANYTHING i’ve ever written and i’m just so thankful and so happy everyone enjoyed it :)). this is still inspired by @asdfghjilysm , hope you enjoy this continuation of the story <3 (this only makes sense if you’ve read “many summers past” so please read that before this)

@x1-imagines (hey bub I know you’ve been waiting for this ♡)

𖧷𖧷𖧷

Junho’s eyes crinkled slightly as he sat on the grass of our backyard playing with Cocoa and Brownie, the two dogs we had adopted not long ago. I smiled gently cradling Cocoa on my lap as brownie played excitedly with Junho. “You told Yunseo the story with Eunsang?” Junho said suddenly.

I smiled softly, “She was bound to find that photo one day love. I did tell her, poor girl started crying after I told her.” I said gently chuckling at the girl. Junho softly laughed along with me knowing Yunseo cried at pretty much anything remotely sad.

“I still miss Eunsang some days.” Junho said his eyes looking up at the sky a sad smile present on his face.

“I do too love.” I responded looking down at Cocoa gently rubbing the top of her head as she settled further into the warmth of my thigh. There was a moment of silence before it was interrupted suddenly.

“Grandma! Grandpa!” Yunseo came walking in excitedly from the house. Her school uniform wrinkled slightly, the bow tied around the neck of her shirt pretty much undone by now. She walked towards us and plopped herself down in front of Junho and I, shortly after she was tackled by Brownie.

“Hey honey!”Junho and I responded in sync prompting us to look at each other before laughing. “How was your day at school?” Junho asked turning his attention towards Yunseo.

“It was fine, extremely tiring but otherwise I’ve had worse days.” She said while petting Brownie who laid over her lap. The petite girl almost getting engulfed by the decently sized dog.

“What made you stop by today love? You usually only visit on weekends.” I asked as I watched Cocoa move towards Junho where she decided to settle on resting against his leg.

“I came by cause I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the other story.” She paused as Brownie began to bark for seemingly no reason what’s so ever. As her barking ceased she finished her statement, “The story about you and Grandpa.”

Junho watched me begin to adjust myself again on the grass where we both sat. “This story’s a little longer, are you sure you want to hear it today?” Junho smiled slightly beginning to relive the events. Yunseo smiled at the smile the grew on her grandfathers face, she nodded her head quickly.

“I’m sure.” She stated confidently. I smiled at her, as I gently took Junho’s hand in mine and began to fiddle with his wedding ring, a habit I’ve had for more that 4 decades.

“Alright then.”

𖧷𖧷𖧷

Summer 1969

Y/N sat on her bed unable to do anything other than cry. Being unable to comprehend the gravity of what her mother had just told her. Her mom sat at the edge of Y/N’s bed, hand on her back in a failed attempt to comfort you. He wasn’t gone. He couldn’t be. You had seen him just yesterday. It wasn’t real.

Her head hurt, a pounding sensation at the back of her head as she sobbed. Your hands gripped onto a pillow tightly, your face buried into the pillow trying to make yourself believe that he was still here with you, that maybe you’d wake up and it’d just be a really bad nightmare. Yet deep inside, you just knew it was true even if you desperately hoped it wasn’t.

𖧷

Just two weeks ago Y/N and Eunsang had been running around the park joyously, now not even a month after you were watching him and his mother being buried. It was painful to say the least, your body trembled as you tried your hardest to suppress tears. The bouquet of flowers clutched tightly to your chest fell. Right as you realized you had dropped the flowers you looked down to pick them up, but before you could someone else had.

You looked to your left to see Cha Junho, Eunsangs best friend, and one of your decently close friends. He gently handed you the bouquet of flowers offering a very obviously forced smile. His eyes, nose, and ears were tinted red as he solemnly stared at the floor trying his absolute hardest to stop his tears. Standing side-by-side you both stood there quietly waiting for the burying to be comeplete so you could place your flowers and finally try and part with him.

You watched as his sister looked up from the grave to see you, she could barely muster a smile before she ran up to you tackling you in a hug. She buried her head in the crook of your neck as your arms wrapped around her frame beginning to cry with her. She pulled a small photograph from her purse as she pulled away and gently handed it to you along with a delicate bracelet, your tears only fell harder looking at the two objects.

“Eunsang had these with him till the very end, and he wanted you to have them.” She said in a choked out whisper. You smiled softly at the picture she handed you, and through her tears she also smiled. “Do you want to say goodbye?” She asked knowing very well that you had been standing nearby waiting for it to be cleared out so you could say goodbye without anyone hearing what you had to say.

You nodded, sniffling before turning to look at Junho who now stood with another one of Eunsang’s friends. Turning away you walked towards where the fresh dirt layed, you gently placed the bouquet of white roses onto where his body layed. You crouched down in front of the grave beginning to whisper, hoping that Eunsang could hear you.

“I’m sorry, I’m really really sorry. Thank you for the bracelet Eunsang. I really love it. I’m sorry we won’t be able to see eachother anymore, but just know you’ll never been forgotten. I love you.” Eunsangs sister sniffled and you breathily laughed through tears.

𖧷

You and Junho walked towards a nearby cafe. Not talking to eachother if anything barely acknowledging eachother. You were going to be picked up by your mom there and Junho’s parents owned that cafe. It was pretty much unavoidable. When you arrived at the cafe Junho opened the door and let you walk in first to which you mumbled a quiet thank you before moving to sit with your mom at a table by the large window.

“How are you honey?” She said smiling, in some way trying to console you. Your voice hoarse, lips quivering, and eyes threatening to overspill with tears once again you mumbled out ‘im fine’ but it was apparent you weren’t.

A plate of food was put in front of you, there stood Junho. “It’s on the house.” He said quietly, before walking off to the back most likely to change into his work uniform. You looked down at the food realizing it was your favorite. For a moment, just a moment, it felt like you weren’t totally alone.

𖧷

End of Summer, beginning of Fall 1969

Starting school was horrible. Over what was left of the summer you and Junho had become friends. It started off with talking to eachother about Eunsang, sharing how hard it was without him, then slowly you both opened up to eachother about your more personal lives. You weren’t best friends, but you knew quite a lot about eachother,

Everybody knew about Eunsangs death. They rubbed it in your face, constantly asking questions, and pestering you with it. It was horrendous. Everyday when lunch time came around you’d sit on the floor of the biggest bathroom stall and couldn’t help but cry. It was a horrid feeling being pestered about a lost love when your not even ready to talk about it to the people closest to you.

Then it happened. The one day that would change everything.

The day was normal, you got up, got ready, ate, walked to school, and waited on a bench before school started. You mostly sat quietly thinking about anything at everything. When they came around. The three girls you hated most. The girls who made it a point to make your days so bad you had seriously thought of switching to a school 4 miles away from your house. There they started with their daily taunts, except this time someone kept them from finishing.

“Will you three shut up?” A voice rang, you knew that voice, it was Junho. It always seemed to happen like this. Something happened and Junhos there for you before it could get worse. The girls of course flashed their long eyelashes, twirled their hair around their fingers, and tried to flirt their way out of a confrontation with everyone’s dream boy.

“But Junho, we weren’t doing anything!” Kyunghee whined, gently pouting at him. He scoffed rolling his eyes before moving past them to stand in front of you holding his hand out to you.

“Hey Y/N, would you like to sit with my friends and I?” You placed your hand in his and started to stand up, before nodding and walking off with him.

𖧷

Summer 1971

Oh my, things sure had changed. Over the last two years you and Junho had become best friends. Every week you both took weekly trips to visit Eunsang and his mom’s grave, to place flowers, clean up, and just talk to him and keep him updated on how you two had been. Your love never wavered, but it was different now.

You both sat cross legged in front of his tombstone, telling him about how recently you’re niece had been born, and how one of your older sisters had recently started dating Sihoon, one of Eunsangs friends. Junho laughed and brought up how Sihoon had practically almost fainted the day he planned to ask her out. You laughed, gently moving to rest your head on Junho’s shoulder.

“I miss him.” Junho said his arm moving around your shoulders, his right hand resting on your shoulder. You smiled before replying. “Me too.”

𖧷

Fall 1971

It was a breezy autumn day and you had forgotten a sweater. Typical. Junho, Dongpyo, Minhee, Hyeongjun, and you had headed out for a day to the beach, it was much colder than you expected. You sat on the blanket placed over the sand shivering as you watched Dongpyo and Minhee battle it out on who got to eat the last cookie that you had baked while Hyeongjun was looking for seashells on the wet sand by himself and you had no idea where Junho had went.

You laughed at Minhee’s face as you watched Dongpyo run off with the cookie quickly followed by Minhee who yelled out, “Come back you twerp I want that cookie!” Mid laugh you felt a sweater being draped over your shoulders and someone plop themselves besides you.

“I can’t believe you forgot your sweater.” Junho said laughing at you. You looked up at him pouting, “The forecast didn’t say it’d be nearly this cold.” He smiled looking down at your face. Your cheeks flushed and you looked away as you slipped your arms into the sleeves of his jacket.

His eyes examined your face and his heart fluttered, keeping his feelings from you had been so hard, but he was willing to give you as much time as you needed to heal. You turned to look at him, his face being shined on by the sun as it began to switch places with the moon. He looked gorgeous. You smiled shyly your eyes never leaving his. He found himself leaning down, his nose bumping against yours, he smiled shyly. Your face leaned forwards and your lips connected. Everything felt so right.

𖧷

Winter 1972

Christmas time, a very joyful time of year. You and Junho smiled as you watched your niece excitedly wait for you to hand her the gift you had gotten her. Your eldest sister smiled watching Hyunjoo excitedly smile at the box wrapped in decorative paper. She hurriedly ripped the paper and was very happy to see a doll. She smiled and instantly ran throwing herself at you, pulling you into a hug, a long string of thank you’s coming from her mouth.

The gifts from beneath the tree began to lessen until there was none. Your mom began to start picking up the wrapping paper scattered across the floor and putting it into a trash bag. Until Junho interrupted, “There’s still one more gift.” He said.

You turned around shocked to find Junho knelt on one knee. Your hands flew up to your face, a rush of emotions overcoming you, tears beginning to prick your eyes. “L/N Y/N, I know how difficult the past few years have been for you, and I’m so incredibly glad you’ve let me come onto your life. I want to be with you and love you for the rest of my life, and if you’d like to, Will you marry me?” Tears began flowing from your eyes and you gently laughed, falling to your knees and wrapping your arms around his neck, “Of course I will!” His arms snaked around your waist pulling you closer as you cried softly. His lips gently landed on your forehead.

You families clapped exitedly at the news of your engagement. At just 20 years old they watched you two knowing, just knowing, that maybe it’d actually be forever

𖧷

Fall 1973

Junho’s arms wrapped around your waist pulling your body closer to his. He rested his chin on your shoulder quietly standing there with you. You smiled gently, giggling at the face he made when you turned your head. Your hands continued washing the dishes as his lips placed gentle repetitive kisses on your right cheek.

“How was your day at work love?” You asked him as you put dishes onto the drying wrack before moving to get a towel to dry off your hands.

He sighed as his arms loosened around you allowing you to turn around to face him. His hands reattached themselves tightly to your waist pulling you up against his chest before leaning to place a chaste kiss to your lips. “It was tiring as ever. I’m just glad I’m home with you now.” You smiled slightly, your forehead resting against his shoulder, you lifted your head up to place a kiss to his jaw. He smiled shyly.

“I ate dinner a while ago, but I left some for you in the fridge. I’ll reheat it.” You said as you pulled yourself from his warm embrace to go reheat his food. He leaned against the counter smiling to himself, “I love you Y/N.” You giggled quietly to yourself as you put the soup you had made earlier in a pot, turned on the stove, and placed it onto the burner. You walked to him again and looked up at him, “I love you too.”

You both now sat together at the table talking about your day. You listened as he complained about a co worker who had been especially irritating today. There had been a very important topic your mother had been pestering you about. The doctor’s visit. You began fiddling with one of the rings you wore on your left ring finger.

“What’s making you nervous?” Junho questioned, very aware of the habit you had when you got nervous. You crossed your legs a let out a long sigh. Your hands sweaty you rubbed them over your legs before you finally gathered your courage to tell him. “I went to the doctors today.” He nodded waiting for you to fully finish what you had to say.

“I’m pregnant.” You said wincing at the words you had finally said out loud. Your eyes shut, you weren’t sure what to expect as a response. He stayed quiet. You opened your eyes to see him begin to tear up. He blinked rapidly before he gave you the biggest smile he had ever given you. He stood up and let his head fall, his hands going up to cover is face as he cried. You instantly shot up, your hands gently cupping his face and wiping his tears.

His hands fell down to your waist and he pulled you into a kiss before he practically fell to his knees. He leaned his forehead against your stomach where the baby was growing and just gently smiled as he began to press kisses to your stomach. Your hands moved to his hair, you gently carded your hands through his brown locks and smiled.

“I know you don’t know me yet, but I’m your dad. I just wanted you to know I already love you.”

𖧷

Spring 1979

You watched happily as Junho sat on the floor playing with Sunghoon. It was Sunghoons birthday and you were but a few months away from having your third child. Your five year old boy stood up excitedly, Junho followed suit running around with the action figure chasing after Sunghoon. Miyoung, your two year old girl, was curled into your stomach while sat on your lap.

“You’ll never catch me!” Sunghoon exclaimed as he dashed across the living room, Junho very nearby replied, “Yes I will!” In an instant Sunghoon had been lifted up off the floor and into his dads arms, he squealed as Junho moved to sit cross legged on the floor and began to tickle him. You giggled along with them, Miyoung quickly began to ask to be let go which you did. She ran towards her brother and dad and began to softly hit her dads hands trying to save her brother.

Once Junho let go Sunghoon quickly scrambled away from him, but hugged Miyoung closely smiling and saying, “My savior!” You smiled fondly as Junho came to sit besides you, his arm wrapped loosely around your waist as he kept his eyes on his two children. He smiled, “I can wait for our last.” You giggled softly leaning your head on his shoulder, “Me neither.”

𖧷

Summer 1982

Sunghoon ran straight towards you, Miyoung following closely behind as they ran towards the bench you were sat at. Eunju, your youngest child, smiled as she reached out for Sunghoons hand, which he instantly took. Sunghoon had a special space in his heart for his sisters, he really loved them.

“Where do you want to go Eunju?” He said softly, Miyoung was crouched in front of Eunju gently adjusting her hair before standing up and taking her other hand.

“Slide.” Eunju replied, her eyes set straight on the slide in the near distance. Sunghoon and Miyoung giggled slightly at their younger sisters lack of words, but walked towards the slide instantly after hearing her request. You smiled happily, you watched Sunghoon sit behind Eunju and Miyoung sit besides them on the slide next to them. They went down and you could hear Eunju’s quiet giggling.

Junho plopped down besides you on the bench holding out a small flower he had found. He took your hand and gently placed the flower into your hand following the small kiss he placed on the back of your hand. You took a further look at the small flower and smiled. Junho watched fondly as you got excited after recieving flower from him, even though he had made it a habit to bring you flowers quite often.

“Thank you Junho.” You said turning to look at him quickly, before returning your gaze to the children now on the swings. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to your lips quickly before responding, “Of course my love.”

“Daddy kissed mommy! Ew!!” Sunghoon and Miyoung said in unison, Eunju unaware of what to do added onto it with a small unsure ‘Ew.’

You giggled softly before you stood up and said, “Hurry up! The ice cream man is over there! Whoever makes it there last has to clean up the mess you guys make at home!” You began to run in that direction, closely followed by Sunghoon and Miyoung. Junho stood up quickly and picked up Eunju and began to run after you three.

He smiled to himself, before laughing. “I can’t believe you guys left me!”

“Daddy now you have to clean up at home!” Miyoung said giggling.

𖧷

Summer 1992

“Sunghoon will you shut up? It’s just a date.” Miyoung said frustratedly as she put her shoes on.

“It’s not just a date! It’s your first date. You have to be careful.” Sunghoon said in return, Eunju sat on the bed in the bedroom she shared with her older sister and watched.

“Oh my god, Sunghoon you don’t have to protect me anymore. I can protect myself. I promise I’ll be careful, and be back by 8.”

“7:30.” Sunghoon said firmly ignoring his sister.” She sighed in annoyance before once again stating, “8.”

Before Sunghoon could reply Eunju had said, “7:45?” Miyoung and Sunghoon looked at her and smiled fondly. The put their stubbornness aside and looked at eachother, “7:45.” The said in unison.

Eunju smiled happily her braces on display as she stood up and began to look for a book to read. “Unnie, promise you’ll be careful?” Miyoung smiled lovingly at the sister just two years younger than her, “I promise.”

“Hurry up Miyoung remember I’m the one driving you over there.” She cursed under her breath before saying bye to Eunju. She ran down the stairs saying quick goodbyes to her parents and ran out the door into her brothers car.

“It’s her first date already.” Y/N said sadly. Junho sulked silently, “My little girl is growing up so quickly and I don’t like it.” You giggled silently before you smiled to yourself after hearing the car start, “She really is growing up.”

𖧷

Fall 2002

Y/N and Junho walked down the hall excitedly, Junho held a ballon and flowers and Y/N held another ballon with a teddy bear.

“Junho I’m so excited.” He looked at you and smiled, “Me too love.” You continued to smile, your hand getting slightly sweaty.

“Junho it’s our first grandchild!” His eyes crinkled and he laughed at your excitement, “I know, I know! I just can’t believe we’re going to have our first grandchild already.” You arrived at the door and Junho instinctively opened the door and let you walk in before him, he always did that.

You walked in and came into view if your daughter Miyoung and her husband at her bedside, he must’ve arrived earlier this morning. Eunju sat in the recliner sleeping, she had been with her all night. Sunghoon was rushing home from a business trip eargerly wanting to meet his niece.

“Mom, dad, meet Yunseo.” You looked down at the small baby girl in her arms. You almost comepletly dropped the bear and let go of the balloon. Junho quickly grabbed the balloon before you let it go. Miyoung laughed softly. “Would you like to hold her Mom?”

“Of course I do!” You said smiling as you sat by her bedside after her husband had moved. You took Yunseo into your arms and smiled. You leaned down and pressed a small kiss to Yunseo’s forehead.

“I love you.”

𖧷𖧷𖧷

“Wow.” Yunseo said taking in the whole story. “I had no idea mom and dad were high school sweethearts!” Junho laughed at her state of shock. Yunseo tucked her hair behind her ears and just sat there. She tried her hardest to process the whole story.

“You and Grandpa met because of Eunsang.” She said quietly, not really present. I nodded softly. “When was the last time you visited him?”

I thought about it for a while not really sure, “I’m not exactly sure, but’s it’s been a very long time.” Junho sat in thought before answering, “Maybe 20 years?” I looked at him trying to do the math before agreeing, “20 years sounds about right.”

“Do you ever want to visit him again?” Both Junho and I nodded, “Of course we’d like to visit him.” Junho smiled and began to stroke the back of Cocoa’s head.

“It’s really been 50 years without Eunsang huh?” I smiled sadly, “It has been 50 years without him. It’s so unfortunate he only got to live for 16 years.” Junho nodded in agreement. “He never got to have his 17th birthday.”

Yunseo watched as both Junho and I reminisced, she smiled quietly. “I have to leave soon but this weekend will you both take me to visit him?” I smiled, “Of course we will.”

Yunseo gave us both a quick hug before she said her goodbyes and walked off to her house just a few blocks down. I walked towards the table with Junho now sat with food about to begin to eat.

“Eunsang deserved so much better.” Junho stated looking down at the bracelet that matched the one Eunsang used to wear. You looked down at the bracelet he had his sister give you the day of the funeral. They matched. “He really did.”

The fall the followed would change your life for the better, but as you looked down at your bracelet that matched with Junho’s you can’t help but think maybe, just maybe Eunsang had hoped you two would end up together. Junho remembered the promise he made with his best friend a month before his death. He promised him no matter what he’d make sure Y/N was happy.

Eunsang rested at ease knowing you were both happy. As summer ended, the fall that followed changed everything you knew. Maybe it was for the best

[songhyeongjuwun]

No happy love - optional bias

“Il n’y a pas d’amour heureux.”

‘There is no happy love.’

“Did you really have to leave me like that? What did I ever do to you to deserve this? I thought you loved me, but maybe I was just a fool and you have never loved me even a bit. I, though, loved you a lot, and I will probably always do. I have never loved anyone as much as I love you, so those feelings might take a very long time to fade. Anyway, I hope you will live well. Stay healthy, and please be a good person.”

You put your pen back on your desk, folded the piece of paper you wrote on, put it in an envelope, and left it in the metal box that contains all of your love letters. Whether they tell happy things or not, it doesn’t matter. Everything that is related to your love life is written on these paper sheets and put in envelopes that you will never open again.

You climbed on your desk seat, set the box on top of your closet, and slowly went down. Your hands closed around the backrest of your chair, you lifted it and put it back under your desk.

You made your way towards your bed and crept under the covers, ready to spend an awful night. A night full of nightmares, or a night full of insomnia - is it an empty night, then?

________

this is my first scenario here, i wrote it a few minutes ago, inspired by one of Georges Brassens’ songs. i will make it much longer if people want me to!