#leaving cert grinds

[homeschool01]

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[steveinscarlet]

I tried to scan the main ol' crazy eyes Joe picture but he was too big to properly fit in the scanner so this is the best I could do

Text below the cut

BRINGING UP BABY

Joe Elliott doesn't want children - he's got enough on his hands nursing a billion dollar baby called Def Leppard. Mat Snow hears why arguably the world's most successful rock 'n' roll band can still stroll down the street without being recognised. Pictures by Peter Anderson

BY THE time you read this, you'll know something that was on the cards a couple of weeks ago but by no means a dead cert.

That is whether the British Phonographic Institute, in all its majesty and wisdom, opened an envelope at the black tie, gala dinner and announced that the award for Rockin' Pneumonia, Boogie-Woogie Flu And All-Round Fabness goes not to Brother Beyond, Yazz, nor even Bros, but to a bunch of blokes who won't see 25 again and who play guitars, drums and stuff often quite loud.

Yes, you will know now what Def Leppard's Joe Elliott and I didn't know then whether there will be a BPI BRITS Award for Best British Band decorating his parents' mantelpiece.

"Def Leppard winning anything is hilarious," he chuckles. "It's nice to be nominated, but we're never going to win anything. We're a stick-in-the- mud heavy metal band - Long 'air and jeans: we can't vote for them, can we?"

JOE ELLIOTT is in mellow mood. After nearly three months off, following the highly lucrative but tiring 14-month Hysteria tour, he at last has time to chew the fat back home in a beautiful bay just outside Dublin, where he is spending his 'year out' of the UK for tax reasons.

Unlike the other four Leps, who get itchy after only three weeks off the road, Joe needs the time to lounge around, catch up with his listening and watch a few videos.

"I've been revelling in the fact that I've been able to get a sore throat and it doesn't matter!"

A week in the sun apart, Joe has not been neglecting his career as the mouthpiece of arguably the most commercially successful rock 'n' roll band in the world today.

There will be rehearsals for the new album. (Robert 'Mutt' Lange, the so-called 'sixth Lep', will not be producing). Hopes are high that it might be in the shops sooner than 1991, given that their two previous albums, 'Pyromania' and 'Hysteria', have been beaten only by Michael Jackson in terms of how long we've had to wait between releases - and how many copies we've gone out and bought. But, right now, Joe has the luxury of reflecting on his place in the scheme of things.

It seems that what he ultimately craves is to be recognised as one of the true rock greats, on a par with the people who turned him on in the first place, back when he was a soccer- crazy, only child growing up in Sheffield, when he was a bored youth maintaining stocks of grinding wheels and oil rags for Osborne Mushet Tools.

Back then, people like Alice Cooper, Jethro Tull, T Rex and, especially, Mott The Hoople kept him sane. Def Leppard's record company, Phonogram, have signed Ian Hunter and it's the best news Joe's had all year.

His list of heroes includes just about everybody who made a raucous noise in the '70s his years of yearning to escape the humdrum world of work and home. That need is still Joe's guiding force so he won't be taking a cue from his friend Jon Bon Jovi's 'New Jersey' and calling his next album 'South Yorkshire'. "Can you imagine it?" he guffaws.

"Ian Hunter summed it up brilliantly in his book Diary Of A Rock 'N' Roll Star - 'I left my heart in Watford?' How can you sing about Scunthorpe or Huddersfield?

"Let's face it, everybody would say, Fair play for doing it - but they'd laugh at it whether they were fans, journalists or friends. I remember when Saxon had this song called 'Northern Lady', and it just stank. Leave it out! Jesus Christ! Flat caps and Yorkshire pudding is the impression people get, even though we all know it's not like that. "They don't all keep pigeons, which is what a lot of people south of Nottingham seem to think. There's no romance, no beaches in Sheffield. A car chase in San Francisco is always going to look better than one through Hackney. But then they could never have Sherlock Holmes in America. It's a different world.

"I'd sooner go for the British approach, which is totally ambiguous: it doesn't say anything, it doesn't mean anything," Joe goes on. "I can't even describe what half the bloody songs are about; they just sound alright. You are what you listen to. You explain what T Rex's lyrics are about. If you can figure his out, then you can figure mine out. 'Hub-cap diamond star halo' means more to me than 'I went down to the river', I'm afraid. People can relate to that Springsteeny thing but, to me, T Rex made your imagination work harder.

"If I wrote from experience, I don't think it would sound very good me singing about the last five-a-side soccer game I had.

"Whenever I sing about women, it's always invented," says Joe, rebutting the charge of sexism which, in fact, I hadn't levelled at him.

"Who's to say that the honkytonk woman ever existed? It could have been a complete figment of Jagger's imagination. I used to write from personal experience don't think I never have.

"On the second album, we wrote about all sorts of stories; Steve (Clark) once hijacked a taxi in Paris and tried to write a song about it. But it just sounded like a piece of shit, so we scrapped it, rewrote the lyrics, made them up, and it was a lot better."

SO, IF not 'South Yorkshire', S perhaps 'Catatonia'? 'Schizophrenia' (a double- album)? Or (Bob Geldof's suggestion) 'Paranoia'? Another psychological disorder, surely?

"Probably," reckons Joe. "It was a complete coincidence, the last two. 'Hysteria' was an idea Rick (Allen) came up with. It was after all the stuff with his accident. The first time we ever seriously experienced it was on the '83 tour, and it got pretty close to it two days after his accident - the reception area of the hospital was teeming with newspaper reporters and kids. And, because we weren't all that popular in England at the time, it made it appear more massive. Rick was on the front page of the Daily Star - and there were all these journalists, like Rick was The Queen or lan Botham. We had to be snuck in through the f***in' laundry chute to go and see him! "I always imagine that Fish - and I'm not knocking the guy - has everything worked out in advance: This is the album title, here's the sleeve - now let's go write the music. The last thing we have is the album title; we panic so much. "Hysteria' was going to be called 'Animal Instincts' at one stage: then we thought that sounded really stupid. We had the sleeve ready, so that was four grand down the drain. It just wasn't right - so we used it for the book instead."

Having repeated, even exceeded, the success of the hard-to-match 'Pyromania' album with 'Hysteria', Joe has found that the way to cope with sky-high expectations is to ignore them.

"I have no doubts about the next album," he declares. "I'm not 100 per cent sure that it'll be as big as the last one, though it may be a better record. Much of it is down to timing. I don't believe success should be based on sales. But everywhere you look it's figures, figures, figures.

"Success should be judged on the sound of the bloody thing. I'm not worried about it. We'll make a record and put it out, and it'll do whatever it does."

What about the live act? "We've had a few approaches from the States to go back and do some shows this summer. Believe it or not, 'Hysteria"s gone back up in America the album's doing better now than when we were out there. It's been 'Top Five in three different years - '87, 88 and now '89.

"Anyway, I was talking to Adam Clayton about it the other day, and he said, You've got to be careful because where do you go from stadiums? What do you do go back to clubs? "That's why we have managers. We have opinions, but we don't have our finger on the pulse like they do. We're too busy trying to sing in tune, play the songs and look cool like a pop band is supposed to do and still keep an eye open so you don't get ripped off. But you can't be a master of all trades.

"When does a spectacle become untoppable? It doesn't. You do a gig on the moon and put the PA on Pluto... Satellite gigs? Hologram gigs? Put the audience in the middle and us outside!"

ON TOUR, the Aerosmith, Guns N' Roses and Love And Rockets albums never left cassette deck. Back home, the Irish magazine Fresh has asked Joe for a fan's-eye view of the new releases.

"I played the Lou Reed album ten times and, in my opinion, it ain't 'Transformer', it ain't 'Sally Can't Dance', it's not 'Coney Island Baby' and it's definitely not 'Berlin'. Every song's about f***ing New York! All about some guy with needles in his arms! "But I grew up with 'Transformer', which came out when I was 12. And 'Berlin' was really depressing but great to listen to in the bath. The new one sounds like demos, which has a sort of charm, but some of it's a bit weird. That song, 'Last Great American Whale' I can't make my mind up whether it's a piece of shit or it's genius. He just talks it he makes Mark Knopfler sound like the guy out of Foreigner. Very strange."

Fine Young Cannibals' "The Raw And The Cooked' gets short shrift from Joe: "I'll never forgive them for slaughtering the Buzzcocks". As for Blondie's remix album, 'Once More Into The Bleach', it's "awful".

The new Supremes compilation is another matter: "F***ing brilliant," Joe raves. "To hear 'Nathan Jones' the way I remember it, not the way f***ing Bananarama slaughtered it. I got my first snog to that song, under the stairs at the Top Rank in Sheffield in 1971, Saturday morning youth club."

Joe advises me to check out The Hooters and The Quireboys; I recommend The Replacements - right up his street. But Joe (29) is of an age to get his real kicks from the stars of yesteryear.

"I've met Jagger at the studio. He was great he kept stealing our f***ing newspapers! Have you got the Daily Mirror? I want to do the crossword.

"Robert Plant came to see us in Chicago. He was great. When we played in the round we used to go on in laundry baskets. His tour manager bet him ten dollars he wouldn't push one out. So he put a hat on, pair of shades, stuffed his tour jacket full of jumpers to make him look fat, and pushed it out to the middle of the stage, right through the audience! "It's funny because he's a Leo as well, and Jagger. All frontmen are Leos," Joe muses. "Those detailed analyses of your star sign tell you things you often don't like to hear. 'Capable of being childish' - I suppose I am. 'Always has to be the centre of attention' well, when it suits me. "Sometimes I just like to bury myself, but that's what my gig is, that's what everybody wants: a big, loud, bloody... you know. "But Jagger's the best; he's got the lips of an elephant on the body of a dwarf. Brilliant. The ultimate frontmen are those you can caricature in cartoons - Jagger, Steve Tyler, Rod Stewart, Bowie, Townshend, Meat Loaf, Alice Cooper... You couldn't really draw me but it doesn't seem to have hindered our success.

"To be honest, once you're as big as we are and you don't have those sort of features, it's nice. I don't have to send the maid out to buy the News Of The World. I can walk down Oxford Street."

So what is the secret of Def Leppard's success?

"Most people in bands have got families, and maybe that's the reason we have the success we have: nobody's married or got kids," reasons Joe.

"I can't see Phil (Collen) starting a family when he hasn't even got a home. And I definitely have no desire to be a father.

"The only times I've ever thought about it have been provoked by TV documentaries like World In Action. I seriously think I would rather adopt an eight-year-old Brazilian kid and give it a real good start in life.

"There's enough kids without me bringing another one into the world. And to be quite honest, after my mumps I don't know if I can!

"I can miss out the nappy stage, which I'd detest. And I don't like the idea of a nanny bringing the kid up because you might as well not bother; you might as well buy one. "I don't want a kid; the band's too much of a bloody baby!"

[a-deceit-salad]

Why has Tumblr showing me ads for leaving cert grinds

[leaving-cert-grind]

Ah, the English grinds Junior Cert. A time when we learned that the only thing more confusing than Shakespeare's language is trying to decipher what the heck our English teacher was saying.

But let's not forget the fun moments, like when we got to use the word 'perplexing' in a sentence or when we finally figured out the difference between an allusion and an illusion. It's these small victories that make the grind worth it.

And to all my fellow Leaving Cert students who also suffered through the English grinds of Junior Cert, let's raise a glass (of coffee, because we're going to need it) to those late nights spent trying to figure out the theme of the poem, and the endless revisions of our essays.

But hey, at least we now know the proper use of punctuation, and can finally have a grammatically correct argument with our friends. #winning

So let's embrace the language of the masters, and continue on with the English grinds Leaving Cert. Who knows, we may even start to understand what Joyce was trying to say... or at least pretend to for the sake of our grades. Cheers!

[gaeilgeoirguides]

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[homeschoolcourse]

Leaving Certificate Online Grinds | Homeschool

Homeschool.ie offers educational, comprehensive and leaving certificate online grinds to 5th year and 6th year students all across Ireland.

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[ashfieldcollege1]

Ashfield College is proud to offer our award-winning Online School for 5th, 6th, and Repeat Leaving Certificate Students. Reap the benefits of virtual learning. With extensive experience in online learning,  Ashfield College’s stream all Day School classes plus all grinds classes. All classes are also recorded, so students have an extensive back catalog or e-library of recorded classes for the duration of their time. We also utilize Moodle as an extra resource for students, providing a platform for sharing additional learning resources to our students. 

[ashfieldcollege]

Ashfield College is the best choice for HPAT preparation courses with a selection of delivery options, both online and classroom-based, to suit even the busiest students. Our exceptionally popular Irish Course for Primary School Teaching enables students to achieve the required minimum H4 grade (60-69%) in Leaving Certificate Higher Level Irish required for entry to Primary Teacher training. https://ashfieldcollege.ie/

[chaosclocks]

-

[fires-of-ninjago]

Chubby Zane Rights (Continued)

As promised last week, here's my latest continuation to Chubby Zane!

I'm just sorry this one took so long, but as I said last week, I was just bogged-down with work.

Title: Hot Ice

Word Count: 1,478

Pairing(s): Oppositeshipping

Warnings: Fat Shaming, body image, homophobic slurs, implied abuse

Kai downed the rest of his drink as Dareth droned on about one of his many, many exaggerated achievements. Zane looked down at his lemonade as he listened to the story. The more he heard, the more he thought that it sounded just too far-fetched to him. I mean; Dareth, just finding Garmadon’s Helmet of Shadows, and using it to control the stone army like that? Just how could someone get that lucky?!

“...Are you guys even listening?” Dareth asked. Kai gave him one of his signature, cocked-smiles that made everyone instantly believe that he knew exactly what was going on...At least, those who didn’t actually know him, anyway. Zane recognized it as his slightly drunk, but faking focus grins.

“Of course!” Kai said. “Hat falls out of the sky, monster army suddenly obeying your every command, horrifying visions of days yet to come, nightmares of the First Master’s childhood, I hear ya!” Zane perked up at the mention of those last two parts. He normally tuned most of their middle-aged friend’s ramblings out mid-way through, but lately, his boyfriend seemed to be paying closer attention the more he drank. Dareth took a swig of his own drink, and for the first time, Zane realized that it was the same as Kai’s.

“I think you two should slow down?” Zane asked; “Those are your third and fourth whiskey’s tonight.” Kai gave him a side grin as he winked.

“C’mon Zane! We all just got our teaching certs; we’re celebrating!” Zane nodded as he felt the frost crawling along the side of the glass.

“Yeah!” Dareth cheered; “And after all of the- *BUUUURP!*” Zane scrunched his nose as the smell hit him like a steel pipe. Had he been human, then his eyes would definitely be watering at the potent smell of garlic and alcohol. Kai however, was fanning his face.

“Aw, Dareth! How many of those garlic rolls did you eat?!” He said. Their friend gave them an embarrassed chuckle as he leaned back in his chair.

“Yeah, sorry ‘bout that guys,” he said as he gave his now plump stomach a pat. “They were just so delicious, I couldn’t help myself!” Wait, what? What did he mean by that? Zane looked down at the empty baskets sitting in front of him as he realized exactly that was.

“But Dareth, one of those was supposed to be for Kai!” The look on the Brown Ninja’s face changed to confusion as he looked down at the remains of the food.

“Huh? But Kai here told me that he wasn’t all that hungry, so he told me to take it.” So that’s what happened; Zane figured something like that was the case, but now that it was out in the open, the Nindroid wasn’t going to let this chance to dive deeper pass by.

“Kai,” he began. When was the last-” The doors to the bar burst open before he could finish the thought. The two of them turned to see a group of bikers standing there.

“Sup, Gerald,” the old man at the head of the group said to the barkeeper. Zane noticed the burn scar on his cheek as he leaned against the bar. “We saw you ‘ere havin’ a party in here and decided to invite ourselves!” They surveyed the bar, grinning as Zane and Kai kept their heads down.

“So who’s this party for anyway?” One of the other bikers; a much younger woman asked as she stepped closer to the bar. “What, is it someone’s birthday? Are one of these widdol’ kiddies finally old enough to be let out of their widdol’ strollers?” Zane could see steam building in his boyfriend’s eyes at how they were taunting the owner, but there was nothing that they could do, especially while Kai was still processing all of the alcohol that he’d drunk.

“Listen guys, I don’t want any trouble,” the bartender said. “But the group I got here tonight...I don’t think-” The lead biker reached across the bar, and grabbed the bartender’s shirt, pulling him close.

“Since when do I care what you think!” The leader asked. Zane was getting ready to jump into action, when Kai decided to slowly stand up.

“Hello Bart,” Nya said in an unusually calm voice. Every alarm in Zane’s head was going off as he recognized that name. Both Zane and Dareth turned to see the two of them standing; the Nindroid felt his power core skip a pulse in fear as he saw the same dark look reflected in the eyes of both siblings. Bart however, seemed to laugh.

“HEY!” He howled as he released the bartender from his grip; “if it isn’t my two favorite kids!” Bart held his arms open, like he was expecting them to run into them.

“Like hell!” Kai shouted; “If you know what’s good for you, then you ‘n your friends will leave.” Zane felt a chill run up his spine as he heard the venom in Kai’s voice. He didn’t know exactly what happened between them, but he knew that it was bad; especially by the way he partially closed his bad eye whenever anyone asked about it.

“Oy! Is that any way ta’ talk to yer foster daddy?” Zane’s eyes went wide as he realized what this was. Kai practically snarled as he readied himself to attack, only for Nya to beat him to the punch. She came out of nowhere; her fists making contact with jaw in the blink of an eye, sending him spinning back as he hit the floor. Nya huffed as she screamed. If it weren’t for the younger woman intercepting her next hit, she would have pummeled him into the tile. Kai however, wasn’t far behind.

“YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!” He shouted, as he jumped into spinjitsu. Flames licked the bar, setting some of the glasses aflame as he barreled towards them. With a look of fear in his eyes, Bart rolled out of the way just in time for Kai’s foot to miss him by a hair. His leather jacket smoked as he hopped to his feet.

“Holy fuck, where da’ hell did ya’ learn that shit?!” He asked. Kai looked like he was about to start foaming at the mouth, when Zane hopped in to put out the small fires from the now flaming drinks.

“Hold up, Jefe,” The woman said, as she staggered out of Nya’s grip. “They’re the fuckin’ ninja!” Zane could see the delight start twisting in Bart’s eyes, as he let out a low, manic laugh.

“HAHAHAHAHAHA!” He clutched his stomach as he ran out of breath; blood beginning to run down the side of his face from a cut caused by one of the rings that Nya was wearing. “Yer’ shittin’ me!” Zane could feel the rage building in the siblings, as the older man continued.

“Ta think, you two would grow up to be this famous! Maybe there is a place fer ya in my family after all?” He gave Zane a good once-over as well as the gears started grinding behind his eyes.

“An’ you must be that ice ninja,” he started. “Yer a lil chubby, aren’t cha? Well as long as ya’ can fight like Twig and Shit-foot here, ya can join too.” Zane froze as he heard what he said. It had been so long since he’d even thought about it, that he’d stopped trying to hide his weight a long time ago, even if he still chose to wear loose-fitting clothes whenever he could. It was almost faster than the last time, but now Zane saw Kai launch himself forward. If it weren’t for Zane managing to grab one of his arms, then he would have tackled Bart out-right.

“SHUT YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH-!” He howled at the top of his lungs. One of the other bikers laughed as they all moved to encircle the trio.

“Haha, aww, look-et how he’s jumping to tubbo’s defence; how cute.” Now Zane was starting to feel the taunts as he struggled to hold-back his boyfriend. It would be so easy to let him go; even his primary programming: Protect the unprotected, was having trouble deciding if he should keep holding Kai back. Just as Zane was about to try and defuse the situation himself, one of the bikers shouted as he was electrocuted.

“KAI, ZANE, NYA! DUCK!” The trio didn’t even think about it; in one felled motion, they all rolled to the ground as Cole came zipping above them, taking down two more of the group. Once they were on the ground, both Kai and Zane jumped up, and with a practiced ease, blew a spray of ice and fire to create a chilly mist. That was when Zane felt his programming make it’s choice: Protect Kai and Nya from the people who hurt them.

[zrreed]

Bro I have state exams starting tomorrow (thanks leaving cert), and I just wanna say thank you so much because your blog and CDAD are helping me get through the study grind :)

i'm glad they're helping!! good luck with your exams!!

[leaving-cert-grind]

Ah, the sweet and bitter memories of the Irish grinds Junior Cert. Just like a bag of mixed sweets, it was a mixture of pure joy and utter despair. But hey, at least we got to experience the thrill of writing our name so many times on the answer sheet, it became second nature.

So to all my fellow Leaving Cert students who also endured the Irish grinds of Junior Cert, let's raise a glass (or a pen, because we still have essays to write) to those sleepless nights, endless revisions, and those memorable moments when we finally understood what a preposition is.

Remember, the Irish grinds may have been tough, but the end result is worth it. Plus, think about all the great conversations you can have at parties about the difference between a noun and an adjective. #winning

So let's embrace the language of our ancestors, and continue to soldier on with the Irish grinds Leaving Cert. Who knows, we may even start to enjoy it... or at least pretend to for the sake of our grades. Sláinte!

[homeschoolcourse]

Leaving Cert English Paper Bundles | Homeschool

You can take a number of actions to put yourself ahead of other applicants when taking the English exam. Here are some study and exam advice particular to English, in addition to basic study habits.

For access to excellent Leaving Cert English Paper, visit Homeschool.ie. The grind is conducted entirely online through video conference, together with note-sharing apps, a chat service, and an interactive whiteboard.

[unsuccessful-pygmalion-project]

Here goes my yearly offer of charitable, free LC Spanish and LC Italian practice for whom might need it. Also applies to Biology. Hit me up if you need me. Credentials: native in both Spanish and Italian, 550 LC points, starting 3rd year of Biology and Chemistry in Maynooth