#learn to be normal and we’ll let you back on the internet. jesus christ

[doctorhomo]

do u guys remember a couple of years ago when trans people said it would be nice if cis people put their pronouns in their bio so it was more difficult to target trans people online and lots of cis people did that but then ruined it by becoming aggressive “allies” who harassed people all over the internet who didnt have their pronouns in their bio? do you remember when cis people tried to be allies and immediately had to ruin it by proving to all of us that they were good allies by harassing people who were potentially questioning their gender and subsequently put under pressure or not in a safe situation to put their pronouns in their bio? i feel like that speaks to a lot of how cishet people view allyship. taking one idea and running with it despite the people they claim to help saying it’s damaging and unhelpful

[steve0discusses]

S4 Ep40: Fixing Dartz By Not Actually Fixing Dartz

Yo Merry Christmas, I’m quarantined as hell, so I’m just streaming and playing video games until my problems get vaccinated away.

So lets just write about Yugioh because hell a lot didn’t go as planned this year (can you believe my 2020 goal for this blog was to finish ALL OF YUGIOH?) but although my goals were halved and quartered--With this blog I don’t freakin care anymore, and somehow...that’s how it’s one of the few creative bastions I have left standing.

Wild.

I’m so done with the internet, I’m not even updating twitter right now.

But hell yes, lets update the Yugioh blog.

So onward, with the last episode of this season. We last left off with Yami getting devoured by a hate tornado which is just...a lot of 2020 energy. This whole season, in a nutshell is just...2020 energy, honestly. And this tornado is just twitter. It’s just twitter incarnated.

Rather than try to save himself and consequently fix his ghost problem, Yugi has decided to keep himself haunted by fixing Pharaoh’s inner emotional problems. Really is something, isn’t it? To do low key therapy for the ghost that basically...put you in therapy? Yugi can help fix his problems but like...he’s still a mess of problems because of it. Now Yugi shouldn’t walk away, of course, that’s effed up, but it is a little irony there.

Pharaoh, of course, has decided to submit to the hate tornado, and sees it as a manifestation of his own anger and bad vibes.

Isn’t that’s the real problem we have when we have to confront the feelings we don’t want to confront? Where we tend to feel guilt and hate for being upset, which is just sort of a thing humans naturally tend to do--instead of actually working on controlling what you do with those feelings so that way we stop lashing out and setting everyone on fire in the burger restaurant?

Like Pharaoh should be learning to count to 10, not trying to just remove his anger. This has sort of been his problem for a while--he assumes he can just...delete his rage. That’s not a thing. You can’t do that unless you have very specific medication through a doctor, and that’s why he keeps failing at it.

And this goes back to S1 when he “fixed” Kaiba and like nothing really happened. Pharaoh’s decided to wipe himself and like...it’s up to your own interpretation but like...in my book that Pharaoh brand clean cycle does freakin nothing. It gets reversed like constantly.

(read more under the cut)

So Yugi decides to hit up Plan B, which is, honestly? Not a great message. But it’s the anime trope that we keep going back to because it’s the catch-all to make any anime protagonist into the good guy.

Like...

...

.......Yeah I’m gonna talk about it.

this is a trope that is so common it’s sort of ubiquitous with the genre. You gotta have the protagonist give up on their own strength, and be lifted up by their pals at the very last second--it’s like the anime hero’s journey.

But I really don’t like it. I don’t like the power of freindship. I’ll say it.

Because there’s some things you have to handle on your own. And I don’t think it’s a bad thing to have your main character show strength and show character development by doing things by themselves at the last minute. We already know that Pharaoh’s a good pal and believes in his friends--but like...does he believe in himself?

I can’t tell you if he does by how this episode goes, that’s for sure.

The whole point of this tornado is to see Yami discover his own strength and overcome his weaknesses...and yet he still relies on that good ol chestnut, friend powers.

Like last episode I feel like they did this already and it was way better--other people offered their help willingly, then Pharaoh got to have a big ol fight solo in the clouds to prove he was strong on his own as well. We finished the whole season last episode, so what are we accomplishing now other than a last minute secret boss fight?

Why would Yami doubt himself now? It’s weird. Yugi’s right to have mentioned “yo didn’t we figure this all out in desert hell???” because...we did. Yami is retreading old territory.

And that’s a thing that happens when you write, PS, when Yugi was saying “we already did this!” Yugi was reminding the writers of the show “we did this already. Like guys. We did this.” and sometimes when you’re writing, your characters will do that to you, and you should always be paying attention to cues like that.

Anyway, he vanquishes the hate tornado by thinking fondly of all of his buddies, and then the storm that should have been over the Atlantic Ocean, as according to the dub, parted in the sky above California.

GEOGRAPHY, the secret final boss of this season of Yugioh. And they failed. In a big way.

Yugi holds out his hands in real life, and pretends to hold a ghost that isn’t there. Now I want all of you to do this position IRL. Like that. OK. It looks like Yugi is holding onto a pair of ghost boobies.

Meanwhile, actual and very literal ghosts with very real bodies show up and start picking up Dartz and like...

...The ending of Dartz’ storyline is a TRIP! Lets just get into it!

This cursed dog. I can’t stand how this dog is drawn. I hate it so much that I actually love it, and if I saw this in a thrift store I would impulse buy it and hang it over my fireplace mantle in a golden gilded frame.

AHHH????

WHAT????

He electrocuted you with LIGHTNING! He killed your...everyone! He killed EVERYONE!

Also girl, how are you HERE? Like Physically??? I saw you die! TWICE!!

Yugioh is on SOMETHING with this one, and I think that “something” is called “we weren’t allowed to give you a PG-13 sad ending.”

This is just the freakin weirdest thing. We have a character who is worse than Darth Vadar, and this show has pulled so many dark things in it’s history, but it just...

...it can’t punish Dartz at all, and I don’t know what they were thinking.

They have been poetic before--Pegasus got his eyeball gruesomely ripped straight out of his face, nearly got murdered by Bakura, and was not able to resurrect his wife. Noah hella died, had to give up his plan to rule the world and be a real boy, and had to murder his own Dad even, the moment he finally made a bond with his brothers. Marik had to lose all control of his body, live helplessly inside Tea’s bod for an entire season and accept the fact that he murdered his Dad and now has to live on without any of the magic that ever made him powerful in a broken world and a broken family he will never understand.

Dartz though?

If he does get some sort of poetic retribution, it will be off-screen because we don’t have time for it.

And that’s kind of a bummer because this is usually something Yugioh is kinda good at! I enjoy when this show goes dark, this is a great opportunity to do it...and they didn’t.

It was just the wettest fart Yugioh has ever played on me.

Just the wettest. Nice knowing you, Dartz. Glad you were here to murder everyone on Earth and then totes get away with it because we’ll just pretend like the Orichalcos was a totally different person--although it’s not. Because Yami JUST told us that it doesn’t work that way. Yami JUST told us that the Orichalcos was using his own pain and his own hate against him.

It’s not a separate person, it’s the same!

And to suggest that Yami vanquishing that hate tornado somehow cured Dartz of all his sins, is some upper level Jesus stuff that I don’t think this show would normally want to tread on. Straight up. Yami is a pretty poor stand in for Jesus Christ, and I feel I can straight up say that because it’s Christmas.

...what HAPPENED in the writing room with this one? Did they just run out of episodes? There are less episodes this seasons than other seasons have been.

Was it edited for the English version? Because I...kind of doubt they could edit that much to make it that drastically different.

I’m just boggled. Like usually I’m of the opinion to let the writers do whatever they do because I do not know what was going on behind the scenes, and I’m still of the opinion that they did the best of what they could do with the resources they were given.

BUT, this episode just feels...hella sus. I feel like they just had to make an ending. Any ending. Get an ending on there and finish the season before the power goes out and then run away with whatever paycheck you get (because in entertainment--you might not get one).

Seto and Joey made it completely back to the KaibaCopter before Tea was like “I mean it’s been 15 minutes, guys, you really didn’t hear him behind you? You really lost his tiny pitter patter of his little shoes? The little shoes that make a little tinkly noise like a kitty cat’s collar? A little kitty cat collar that he also wears around his neck? His neck that has a golden pyramid held by a tow chain that makes a little clanky clank when it hits his two belts covered in metal rivets that makes a little singsong clippity cloppity noise every time he so much as breathes? He’s a walking talking Bell of Notre Dame, you lost him?”

and Seto was like “Oh damn it, I know he’s the same size as Mokuba, and so I should be really good at not losing this kid but also have you noticed how many times I’ve lost Mokuba???”

Joey just looked into the distant tomb hut and said “......You’re kidding me.” and decided to immediately run back because Joey Wheeler knows what’s up.

Had Joey Wheeler actually made it back to Atlantis, he would have seen Dartz and his entire family hugging it out and would have immediately socked the guy straight in the dick and it would have been a great way to finally give Dartz just one single consequence for murdering everyone on Earth but you know, I did not write this episode.

I’m really glad that in the same episode that Yami called upon the powers of friendship, his friends hella ditched him to vanquish in a watery grave.

This is wild!

Seto’s words were “Good riddance” as the island went down, and you could not tell if he was talking about the island or about Yugi.

That and Kaiba Really Hates Islands. LOVES watching an island go up in smoke (or underwater, in this case). Loves nothing more.

Seto, your powers of friendship were just used to save the world.

Apparently the standard for friendship power is...not much. But they did just make Yami, of all people, do a literal Jesus in Gethsemane so...the bar for morality is just not very high in this anime.

Did the Great Leviathan stitch Weevil Underwood’s body back together or something? This is...

...Yo Weevil are you immortal now? Are you the big bad in S5 that comes out of nowhere and kick’s Bakura’s ass back to the Shadow Realm like Marik in S2? Because I’ll accept that.

I won’t like it, but I’ll accept that.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

look at those toddler shoes worn by a full adult! Weevil Underwood is so over-designed for a super low-level miniboss and I low key love that they love Weevil Underwood this freakin much.

Of all people, Weevil Freakin Underwood.

Listen, listen, listen.

If Mikey was still alive, he’d be older.

He’d have been older in that Leviathan tummy, he’d be Alister’s age but he’s not. He’s uh...

Yo show that got real dark. Show this is what you should have done to Dartz. I love this sort of dark ending for a rude asshole who is going to try to put his family back together although it’s completely impossible--this would have been a good Dartz ending. But...whatever. It’s fine.

We’ll...let Dartz have his family back, it’s fine.

Meanwhile, in the first actual picture of California that really feels like California, Valon immediately accepts the fact that Mai left him.

This is also a great dark ending for Valon. To accept that the people in your life have moved on and that you, too, must move on, even if it’s alone. This would have been an excellent ending for Dartz.

And then Mai just bounces. She does not seek out Joey Wheeler, because she’s like “I have to fix some stuff, I have some serious problems, and it’s going to take a really long time before I can get over my toxic past.” and just freakin leaves us. Sorry, anyone who was hoping Joey and Mai would smooch at any point, it’s uh...it’s not legal yet.

And TBH I don’t even know if Valon is legal either, and the show decided to not reveal that to us, or allow them to smooch.

And as for Raphael? Uh...

They didn’t bother, I think. I didn’t cap it, at least. But we did get at least one person washed up on a beach.

It would be Kuribo.

I talk about 2020 energy a lot in this season but like...wild 2020 energy here, to be so freakin chill and can I say--delighted--to be stranded on an abandoned island.

The show does not elaborate any more on if the cards are dead or alive, or if the games we are playing are with actual people forced to play these horrible games for us. It’s best that they don’t tell us. Just like Mr Mime. No one wants to know.

Mr Mime as in the Pokemon Mr Mime, PS, I just realized that there is a mime in this universe and he’s just...I don’t really want to know about that guy, either. All mimes honestly, I don’t want to know anything at all about all mimes.

Luckily, for Yugi, Kaiba didn’t fly very far from this island, and so we don’t have to have some sort of weird season cliffhanger where we guess how long Yugi can live off of coconuts (2 hours. he would last 2 hours on this island)

Although it would be such a cliffhanger to wonder what Yugi’s hair would look like after that. the same, right? Like it’s the same amount of grease and nasty stuff? He’d just have his roots growing out?

And there they go--goodbye Dues Ex Machina Cards. Either the show can’t keep you on board because you’re hella broken, or the three dragon warriors died, or retired, or whatever it is when a card is like “I’m done with humanity, please leave me alone and never call me again.”

Did Seto low key just break up with his side piece just now? Tragic.

Remember that time that Yugi was so bouyant he was armpits out of the water in S2? It’s crazy how bouyant Yugi Muto is. Like if someone did one of those anime cross-sections of his anatomy, he needs like 3 or 4 duck shaped pool floaties in there.

Now, full disclosure, I have written the ending to this post 3 times because tumblr keeps deleting this post out of my drafts folder (I shouldn’t be writing this in my drafts folder, being real, it’s been really buggy lately, and I’m gonna have to make a different solution to this) So I’m just...

...gonna end on this note. This exciting note that Bakura is next. Finally, Bakura (JK of course, because apparently Bakura doesn’t show up for half the season. Bro told me this and offered that we should skip that filler and of course I told him that is not the point of this blog and we will be watching all of that gruesome filler piece by piece. Because for someone, out there--that filler is their favorite episode. I don’t know who you are--but get ready for filler.)

Now Yami could just...call up Bakura at any point at his house and make an appointment to end the world...but maybe S5 will go a different direction? We shall see.

Anyway, that’s it for this Season! Thanks all for sticking with us when I just...didn’t have an upload schedule for this entire year. It’s been a YEAR. But, I’m hoping for good things in the future, and that things will adjust back to a normal upload schedule and that...hopefully tumblr won’t die or something weird like that.

I’m gonna finish the Full Metal alchemist Live Action movie next (we’re like halfway through) and then after that--onward to to S5! See y’all there!

Stay safe!

(and here’s the link to read these in chrono order if you’re new here:

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

[cruecifymesixx]

Love and Leather /part eighty one/

Word Count: 8.1k

A/N: To the anon that said Vanity is a sloppy, one dimensional character in my inbox the other day, you can eat a bag of dicks and choke :) Enjoy!

Warnings: language, dash of angst

Taglist:   @aryssav , @miserablecunt , @dangerous-like-a-loaded-pistol, @fandomshit6000, @anntheboneless,  @justjodeye, @supernaturalvikingwhore, @hi-my-name-is-riley, @extremesadnerding, @thatbandchick39, @awkwrdcait, @countrygirlswonderland, @awesomealmostdopestudent,  , @tashy-bear, @krazykatkay456, @terror-triplet, @shouttatthedevill @beachystars, @rodriguez025, @kickstart-myheart-sixx, @s-outhie, @anxious-diabetic, @awkwardblackgirls, @rockersbox, @brooklyn-antiques-deactivated20, @shamelessobsessions, @jerseytaint, @lilytalebi, @criminalyetminimal, @motley-queen, @trapt-in-a-dream, @lunamadhatter99, @broke-n-bitchy @thanks2pete,  @lovesick-heart0, @keepcalm-and-beyou, @miriampraez, @teenwolflover28, @lilyhw1, @motherloovebone, @random-internet-user-4471, @falcon-arrows, @talranocchia2001,  @waywardprincess666, @malibubarbievince, @iluvmesomemarvelndc, @zoenicoles, @vamprlestat, @supersoldierballerina​, @primal-screamer @electradestiny, @marshbev, @n0-sh0rtage-0f-faults​, @cruebaby​, @ggorehorror​, @valentines-in-london​, @miss2001babe​, @nassauartist​  @cmft-jr-winchester​, @bokkie92​, @notworthyofyou1120​ @xrosegoldwolfx​, @lauravic​, @mgkobsessed​, @chaoticvybe​,  @kellysimagines​ @thoughtsoftheantagonist​ @marvelismylifffe​, @sleepyjunhong​  @meetthesixxter​ @sparxx27​ @gingerspicetalks​ @kaitieskidmore1​ @unknownoblivion​ @nevergoodenuffbutokaaayyy​ @sublimeprincesswasteland​ @kylieinwonderland​ @haileynicoleseavey17​ @lavendersoundbarrier​ @youretheonlyonewhomakesme​, @xxisxxisxxis​, @dogmom2014​, @cruesixxlover1991​, @xpoisonousrosesx​, @cranberrirolls​, @m0rnlngstar​, @love-struck-aries​, @findingmyths​, @i-want-to-shoot-myself​, @arianareirg​, @fentitrbl​, @dogmom2014​ @motleycrueprincess​, @redlipscrystalskies14​, @samanthadegaro​, @oskea93​, @idkmanhereisshitilike​, @idumpyourgrass​, @makaelahdelvalle​, @brideofdraculana​, @patheticgay69​

~January 26th, 1996~

Our heads turned when the door opened up and in cane our new therapist, "Someone move over to the chair please." She stated as I got up, Nikki's hand falling off my lap. I sat in the deep blue chair adjacent to the couch Nikki was on.

"I am Dr. Crystal Peterson." She smiled, pearly white teeth showing through a plum red shade of lipstick as she stuck out her hand for me to shake.

"Vanity."

"Nikki."

She nodded as she put a notepad and a folder down on the table. She put on a pair of glasses that were connected to a beaded necklace, "So, tell me a little about yourself Nikki."

He glanced at me for a second before turning back to Crystal, "Uh...okay-" he cleared his throat with a cough, "Um, I'm in a band. I'm from San Jose but I moved around a lot before I ended up here in San Jose. I play bass in my band and write songs. I like photography um....yeah. That's it." Nikki scratched the top of his head awkwardly.

"Vanity?"

I rolled my eyes, "I was born and raised in Texas to a wealthy family. Moved to LA when I was in my twenties. I work at a diner as hostess. I like shopping and traveling. I have a daughter-"

"We, we have a daughter." Nikki butted in.

"Sorry, we have a daughter. She'll be six in May and her name is Arianna."

Crystal nodded, "Vanity, can you tell me something about Nikki? Anything."

"Um...I don't know-"

"You don't know anything about him?" She cut me off as I stared at her.

"No, I didn't mean it like that. Um, Nikki he uh...he collects knifes and guns?"

"Interesting hobby."

Nikki shrugged, "They're cool."

"Nikki? Can you tell me something about Vanity? Anything you want as well."

Nikki chuckled to himself, "She has my bands name tattooed on her ass cheek."

I glared and rolled my eyes, "Nikki, that's private."

"We're in therapy Van. Relax. Have some fun." Nikki retorted as he reached for his water to take a sip.

"Your paperwork says that you two are not married, but we're engaged and the span of you relationship has lasted ten years give or take? That correct?"

"Off and on." I shrugged, "But really, our relationship didn't start until he got sober. And we were only together for a year and engaged for like eight months."

"But have known each other for around ten? Yes?" We nodded.

"Okay, well let's get to work. "So I see on the checklist uh.....there's quite a few checked off: improving communication, resolving conflicts and disagreements, overcoming adultery, to understand one another better, reducing tension, learning "good" ways to fight, and to stop hurting each other. That's half the list and more than what I've seen in a while."

Awesome.

"Vanity, can you describe your fights with Nikki? Give me all the gory details, it's okay."

I nodded, "Um, it just depends what we're fighting about. Sometimes we just bicker all day over nothing. Other times we are in each other's faces screaming and yelling. Just depends."

"Can you give me an example of bickering and then the latter?"

"Okay, like for example we'll go back and forth about who has to pick up Arianna after school. We'll use snarky comments, uh poke fun at one another. I don't really count our bickering as fighting. I think it's fun."

I knew that was the wrong thing to say by the way Crystal tilted her head, "I mean-I mean it's entertaining. I know it shouldn't be but it is. It's just us."

Crystal looked over at Nikki who sat up a bit taller, "Do you count the bickering as fighting?"

Nikki shook his head, "No, no I don't. I think uh it's normal for us? Like Van said, it's entertaining. Yeah, she's annoying when she does it but it's whatever. It's kinda like our way of communicating.."

"You're annoying too." I blurted out as she put her hand up to silence us.

"Back to you Vanity, describe the actual fighting then."

I chuckled, "Yeah, it's bad. Really bad. Screaming, yelling, name calling. We're both red in the face. It usually takes one of us leaving for a little bit to simmer down."

"Does it get violent?"

I looked at Nikki, "Um...we don't hit each other. Well, I- describe violent please."

"If I have to describe it that lets me believe yes, your fights do get violent." Crystal pointed out as I sighed.

"Sometimes we shove one another. Or I um slap him across the face but he never hits me. Nikki wouldn't ever do that to me. Um...I suffer from severe anger issues and sometimes I throw things. Sometimes at him, sometimes at the wall behind him. He has punched walls and doors before. We sometimes also have to be pulled apart physically." I explained, shifting uncomfortably in the chair.

"Nikki, do you agree with what Vanity's saying?"

Nikki nodded, rolling his neck "Yeah. I agree. We do get bad at times. Sometimes our fights just get so out of hand neither of us know how to bring it back down to a good level. Like uh, sometimes she'll try to get the last word in but when I'm worked up like that I just can't let her have it. So when she tries to walk away from me, I grab her and pull her back in."

It was quiet for a second, the only sound being the pen Crystal was writing with on the notepad. Nikki and I looked at everything but each other.

"Would you say Vanity listens to you Nikki?"

He laughs, "Fuck no she doesn't." I furrowed my eyebrows and shook my head, "I ask her to do something and she doesn't do it. I ask her not to do something and she keeps doing it."

"That is not true at all!" I laughed at him, "I do too listen to you!"

"Well Vanity, you have to understand this how Nikki feels. You have to consider his feelings as well. Nikki, can you please explain to Vanity how you think she doesn't listen?"

"Gladly-" Nikki glared proudly, "For example, shopping. I ask you not to spend a lot of money-"

"Oh for fucks sake. It's my money. My families money. It's my bank account and your name is nowhere on it so fuck off. And If I want to rack up a three thousand dollar shopping bill then I gladly will." I quickly interrupted, jumping down his throat as he glared at me.

"Anyways, shopping. She spends an outrageous amount of money all the time and never thinks responsibly with her money. That's what it really boils down too. She doesn't think about the future or plan for a rainy day. Granted, she thinks she doesn't need to plan because she has money and that it's always going to be there because it won't. You never know Vanity, the company can go belly up one day and bye bye trust funds."

"And that's my problem to worry about not yours-"

"...and who do you think will be taking care of you?"

I scoffed, "I do not need you to take care of me! I'm not some fucking child, Nikki! You always treat me like I'm clueless and so naive and I'm not! I have a brain and I can think for myself! And figure things out! I have never needed you to take care of me!"

Dr. Crystal cleared her throat to speak up, "I think Nikki might feel pressure due to society to take care of you. Let's strip away everything and get down to the core of it. He is a man and a man provides for everything-"

"Oh cut the sexist crap. It's not about that. It's about him wanting to control what I do! He never lets me do anything!"

"Never let you do anything? Jesus fucking Christ V. You act like I'm some fucking dictator and I'm not. When I got sober, you still drank. I never threw a fit. Hell, I encouraged it because I didn't want to be that guy. You go to work and have a job. If I wanted to be an asshole I would tell you 'No, You're gonna stay home and raise Arianna.' You go out with Clementine and go to the bar and get drinks wearing a skirt that when you bend over, your ass shows. If I wanted to be a controlling piece of shit I wouldn't let you step foot out of the house like that. The clothes you wear, the things you like to do, the way you do your make up, dyeing your hair. If I had a problem with it I would tell you, but I don't V. I want you to be your own person. I don't give a fuck what you do as long as you stay safe and come back to Arianna."

I stared at Nikki, sighing. I was starting to feel like I was the fucking psycho. Not because he was making it seem that way, but because he made everything make sense to me. Nikki, truly does let me do whatever the fuck I want and never throws a fit unless it is harmful to me.

"Any words on what he just said, Vanity?" Crystal questioned as I shook my head and looked down at the carpet.

"So, I see money is a stressful discussion for you two?"

I felt Nikki look at me, waiting for me to speak up but I didn't, "I-I don't know. We do argue about it sometimes. Not because we don't have it, but because we do. We have an abundance of money we don't know what to do with. From the band, from her families oil company. We're privileged to have it."

"Do you two have a joint checking account?" Crystal questioned and we both shook our heads telling her no, "So why are you worried about money you don't even get to touch, Nikki?"

"Cause Vanity doesn't recognize the value of a dollar."

"Sorry I wasn't fucking poor as a kid." I rolled my eyes, "It's not my fault I was born into the family I have. I know how lucky I am to have it and I do recognize the value of a dollar, ten dollars, hundred dollars, thousand, million, billion. You should be happy we can give Arianna this life Nikki! Instead of struggling like the rest of the world."

Nikki laughed, "Oh yeah, cause having a self centered, snobby, silver spooned brat is so much better."

"Can we take a break please?" I looked at Crystal and she nodded. I quickly got up and left the therapy room. I headed down the hallway to the bathroom to take a breather. I closed the door, locking it as I stepped up to the mirror.

"Pull it together, Vanity." I mumbled to myself, clutching my chest as I felt a heavy feeling in it. It was crushing. I splashed some water on my face and took a few deep breaths. I was starting to get worked up, and if I could and I wouldn't get in trouble id probably jump on Nikki and strangle him. I sighed when someone knocked on the door, "Just a minute!"

"It's me, V..."

I sighed and went over to the door, unlocking it and opening it up just a tad, "What?" I looked at him, the same tired expression mirroring on his face.

"Are you okay?"

"No Nikki! I am not okay." I shouted quietly, opening the door more so I could get out, "Let's just hurry up and get this over for today."

We were back in the office, sitting in our seats. I had a handful of M&Ms and cup of water to calm me down.

"So, can we talk about your twos sex life?"

I guess calm wasn't in the cards today. I felt my face heat up as I took a sip of water, "I don't mind."

"I'm fine with it." Nikki shrugged and got up to get a cup of water, chugging it down before filling it up again.

"I know it might sound like a strange question, but it helps figure out the tension and how your relationship works. That is all. How is the sex life?"

"Good..."

"Just good?" Nikki looked at me with a smirk as I rolled my eyes at him.

Crystal chuckled, "Is it a monogamous relationship? Or do you allow outsiders in?"

"It's just us."

We both watched as she flipped through our papers we filled out before the session, "It says adultery was committed?

"You make it sound like a crime." Nikki chuckled.

"I don't find it fucking funny, Nikki." I glared, a hurt expression on my face as he quickly stopped laughing and looked away from me.

"I cheated years ago and I married my mistress while Van was in New York, giving birth to our daughter who I didn't know existed until last year. We went to a therapist there and we worked it out. It's fine. It's history and doesn't matter anymore." Nikki expresses, lounging back onto the couch like a lazy teenager.

"Vanity?" I looked at Dr. Crystal when she said my name softly, "Does it not matter anymore?"

Of course it fucking mattered.

"It hurts still..." I muttered, looking down at my shoes, "Like a lot.."

It was quiet for a moment between the three of us, feeling both sets of eyes on me. I shook my head and pushed hair out of my face and looked at Crystal, "I-I don't want it to hurt. I don't want to feel any hatred towards Nikki because I know how sorry he is for it, but it's just so damn hard still. I can't set foot in his bedroom, our old bedroom, without my skin crawling. I can't look in his bathroom because all I see is him and Brandi. I can't even sit on his bed because I feel so disgusting knowing she use to sleep in it too. It makes my stomach wrench and twist knowing they attempted to have a life together in a house that was suppose to be for me and him."

"Vanity-" Nikki mumbled my name attention to move closer to me.

"I want to forgive you Nikki, I really fucking do-" I spoke to him through tears in my eyes, "But I can't and that isn't your fault, it's mine. I wish I could let it go and move on so we can be good for the sake of our relationship and for Arianna, but Sixx, I can't trust you."

Nikki was taken back as he slumped down into the couch. He looked away from me and pulled strings off his jeans as he remained quiet.

"I know everyone hates this question, but how does that make you feel Nikki? Granted by your body language and expression, this is the first time you heard it?"

Nikki shrugged, "It makes me feel like shit." He mumbled, "I wish I could take it all back, I really do. It was mistake and I don't know why I did it..."

"Sure you do." Crystal spoke, "Was it because Vanity doesn't listen to you so maybe you'd find someone that would? Was it to prove a point? I think you do know why you did it Nikki." I watched as they remained eye contact, his chest rising with a deep intake of air as he exhaled.

"It's okay, Nik.." I whispered, "I want to know."

"We-" He exhaled a quiet fuck, "We were getting married soon. I-I wasn't getting cold feet! I wasn't. I wanted to marry you. I still do. But I, I Uh, I just had to prove to myself that I was still that guy."

"Getting sober is the best thing I have ever done for myself, but I just needed to know if I was still that Nikki. If I was still that rockstar that could get with any woman I wanted."

My lips parted as my heart sunk to my stomach. I realized right then and there what Brandi was all about: Ego.

"I needed to know, Vanity. And it had nothing to do with you or our relationship. It was me. I just-I just wanted to know if I was still that fucking asshole sober like I was jacked up on heroin and the snap of my fingers I could get someone on their knees for me and I did."

I wiped my eyes, reaching for a tissue from the box on the table, "So what would you have done if Vanity never found out? Would you have continued your affair?"

Nikki shook his head, "No, no I wouldn't have continued-"

"But you married her Nikki." I croaked through a pathetic sob, "You had such an extravagant wedding with her and you even told me you and her were trying to have a baby before you came to New York."

"If you didn't come home that day, I would have never continued my affair. That would have been it. Would I have told you? I don't know, probably not because I know regardless of how it would have turned out you still would have left me." Nikki spoke softly as he wiped his face with the back of his hand, "I cheated on you Vanity and I should have never done that. I shouldn't have jeopardized our life together like that. After everything you and I have been through. I shouldn't have done that, to hurt you like that."

Crystal put her items on the table, "May I ask a question?" We both nodded, "Do you two love each other?"

I nodded, "Yes, I love him with everything I have."

"Yeah, of course. I love her to fucking death."

Crystal nodded, glancing between the both of us, "Now do you really love each other or are you just pretending for the sake of your daughter? I ask that because from an outsider looking in, it seems like that spark, light, connection, whatever it is you want to call it has went out."

"Of course. I still love her. We're still in love like we were back then. We just have to work through it, right Van?" Nikki looked at me, his small grin slowly leaving his face as he studied mine, "Right?"

My mouth opened to say something but nothing came out. It was as if someone had a grip around my voice box. Nikki's soft expression quickly turned into confusion and anger.

"I-I love you. But I just don't know if I'm in love with you. I want to be with you because I can't picture myself with anyone else but you and I know it doesn't make sense but I can't see us together right now in my head. I look at you and I just feel hurt and guilt and pain. But I also feel all the love I've had before with you and happiness. And I want that back Nikki." More tears started coming as he stared, his head shaking as he listened to me, "..and I want to be like that with you again but just not right now."

"Okay..." Crystal cleared her throat, "To help with that, I suggest maybe finding some hobbies to do together outside of the house and without Arianna so you two can focus on each other. Do you think that could be something the each of you can do? Maybe you pick something for you and her to do Nikki, and Vanity you do the same."

Nikki nodded, "Yeah, I don't mind doing that." He looked at me and I nodded, "We can do that."

"Great. How about you come back in two weeks and we can talk some more. I look forward to working with you two."

After we made our next appointment, Nikki walked ahead of me, taking long strides to the car. I frowned and held my purse as he got in the car and waited for me. I slid in and buckled up as I watched him dig a cigarette out of the glove compartment, "Can I have one?" I asked quietly. He took the one he had lit between his teeth and handed it to me before grabbing another.

"Are you mad at me?" I asked, inhaling as I looked out the window.

"No, I'm not mad. I'm just...I don't know. But I'm not mad or angry or upset with you." Nikki stated as he reached over to give my thigh a light squeeze before he turned up the volume of the radio.

*A few days later*

I was finishing up my shift at the diner, splitting tips I had received today so I can give them to the girls so they can have. I grabbed my notepad when the door chimed, a smile on my face but it went away when I saw Clementine, "Booth?" She nodded and I lead the way. I put a menu down on the table as she sat down.

"Can I have some hot water and tea bags, please?" She asked, smiling as I nodded. I went to retrieve some for her as I brought a carafe of water back. I poured some into her cup before placing it on the table.

"Can I get you anything else?" I held the notepad and pen in my hand as she shook her head, "Okay, then I'll have Annabelle ring you up when you're done. There is no rush at all-"

"Actually, can I get some time with my favorite waitress here." She leaned towards me, "And the prettiest too."

I chuckled at Clementine and slid into the booth with her, "You really think I'm the prettiest waitress here?"

"Of course princess vain." She teases and glanced at me, "I want you to listen to me because I am only saying it once and I really don't want to repeat myself."

I shifted in the seat, crossing my knee over the other, "O-okay.." I cleared my throat and stared at her.

"I am sorry for being a cunt. You were right, Van. I should have moved out sooner. I was barely home and Arianna didn't need me anymore, with her being at school and you and Nikki doing a wonderful job with her. So I am sorry for how I was acting."

I shook my head, "No, no. You weren't being a cunt. I was being one, I should have tried harder to defend you and actually listen to what you had to say. But I just didn't know what to say, Clemmy. I-I was just in shock or denial about the check and everything else."

"No, I should have just left without showing you the check." She sighed, "I should have at least told you sooner and not hide it. But Van, you were so happy with Nikki being in New York. I've never seen you that happy before so I just decided to keep my mouth shut." Clementine expressed as she held the cup of tea in her hands.

I shook my head in frustration, "I'm sorry he even did that to you Clementine. I know you want an apology from Nikki but I don't know if you'll ever get it." I frowned, tapping my nails on the table as I rested my chin in my other palm, "I'm just put in a really weird spot when you two fight. I want to defend you and I want to defend him and I don't ever know what to do so I get upset because I have no control over the situation and that's when I lash out."

Clementine raised an eyebrow, "Are you going to therapy again? Because that's a very therapeutic thing to say." She chuckled as I smiled at her.

"Well, Nikki and I are trying our relationship counseling to see if it helps us. It was his idea, he thinks I don't love him anymore." I rolled my eyes and chuckled, "But I've missed you so much and the day at the studio when you were so standoffish hurt so bad. But I know how you are when you get upset so I should have expected it."

Clementine laughed, "Yeah, I don't know why you thought talking to me would have worked."

"I don't know, maybe you would have ate enough of Tommy's edibles and forgot about it." I chuckled a bit and glanced over when the door chime went off, seeing Nikki take off his sunglasses as he scoured the place for me.

"Well maybe next time I'll consider it-" Clementine grinned, "How about a girls trip this weekend? Maybe rent a hotel room and have a spa day. Arianna can come too. I know she likes to eat the cucumber slices."

I got out of the booth as Nikki sauntered over to us, "Maybe. I'll let you know. Nikki wants to do the bonding activities our therapist suggested we do. I love you." I bent over and gave her a tight hug.

"I love you too, just let me know." She pulled away from me when she saw Nikki.

*Nikki's POV*

I walked through the doors of the diner, glancing around for Vanity. I groaned when I saw she was sitting with Clementine and laughing. I forced a smile as I walked up to them, "Sorry to interrupt....can I talk to you for a minute?"

Vanity nodded and gave Clem as smile as I walked over to the cash register with her, "Is everything okay?"

I nodded, "Yeah I just wanted to see you." I smiled as she did the same.

"Sorry I left in such a rush this morning. I slept through my alarm. Was Arianna easy to get up?" Van asked as she leaned against the counter in front of me.

"Oh yeah she was good. She hated how I did her ponytail but it went okay. Are you almost off?" I looked at her and scooted over when someone needed to get past.

"Um in about thirty minutes I will be. Why? What are you up too?" She chuckled and sat down on the leather barstool.

"I thought maybe we could go to the beach.." I had thought about what our therapist had said about hanging out together and having fun.

"Oh. Okay! Yeah, Arianna would love that. It's kinda gloomy today but that's okay." She smiled, "Just let me finish up and if you wanna pick her up from school and wait for me at home?"

"No, I Uh...I wanted it to just be us..."

She stared at me for a moment before the lightbulb turned on, "I see, from what the therapist said. Um...."

"I was going to pick her up and I asked Jessie if she could come over for a few hours to watch her. Only if you want too though. I'm sure you're tired from working all day. But there's this nice little path that drops down onto a beach I know of. It's not a hard hike at all." I suggested, becoming nervous as she looked around at customers leaving.

"Okay. That sounds good to me, Nik. I just want to change when I get home and we can go." Vanity smiled at me, reaching for my hand and squeezing it a bit. It made me feel better, but also this is the first time she's physically touched me since we went to therapy.

After I left the diner with a free milkshake, I was standing outside my car waiting for Arianna. I heard the school bell ring and out came a whole bunch of kids running to their parents. I smiled when I saw Arianna dragging her backpack on the concrete behind her, Must have been a rough day. I chuckled to myself and reached into the car and grabbed a milkshake for her, "Hi daddy."

"Hey angel! How was school?" I picked her up and gave her a kiss on the cheek "I stopped and saw Mommy at work and she made this for you."

"Somebody took my dolly." She frowned and laid her head on my shoulder and sipped on the milkshake.

"Your dolly? Baby, you know you can't bring your toys to school." I sighed as I put her down on the ground "Let's go get it-oh Miss. Martinez, hi. Arianna was just telling me someone took her doll?"

Her teacher chuckled and held out her toy to me, "I told Arianna she could get it back at the end of the day. She had a really rough day. Her toy was preventing her from paying attention in class.

Arianna glared, "You're being mean poopy head."

I crouched down, "Look at me, Arianna." I spoke sternly as she kicked rocks on the ground and tried going to open the car door until I blocked her, "Arianna Lynn Blackwood, look at me."

She finally made eye contact, "You do not talk to your teacher like that and you do not bring toys to school. Do you understand me? I will wash your mouth out with soap. Got it?"

She nodded, bottom lip quivering as she gave me her signature puppy dog eyes whenever she was in trouble. I stood up and opened the door for her, "Sorry about that. We'll make sure she won't bring anymore toys to school."

"It's okay Nikki. She did have a minor outburst when we took the toy away so she did have to sit out in the hall, but after that she was a peach as usual. Everyone has their good days and bad days. Have a good weekend and tell Vanity I say hello." Her teacher reassured as I nodded.

"Of course. See ya Monday." I waved to her before getting into the car, "You buckled up?" I spoke, looking at Arianna through the mirror as she nodded, pouting and giving me the silent treatment.

Like mother like daughter.

We got home, seeing Van had already made it before us. I opened up the door for Ari and watched as she got out of the car, letting her backpack swing and hit me in the knees, "Loose the 'tude, dude." I ruffled her hair as she pushed her hand off of me.

Vanity was inside sitting in the living room chatting with Jessie, "Hi baby!" She yelled opening up her arms for Arianna.

"Arianna had a bad day at school." I told her as Van quirked an eyebrow.

"Oh yeah? Can I see your folder?" Van asked holding her hand out but Arianna shook her head , "One...two...thank you." Vanity grabbed the backpack when Arianna handed it out to her.

"She has a folder that gets sent home with paperwork and news from the school...and her behavior for the week." She explained, showing me as I looked at it. I didn't know about this:

‘Monday, great day today. Very helpful with cleanup and sharing markers with the other kids. 

Tuesday, Got frustrated over some counting cards and threw them on floor, but picked them up when I asked the first time. Other than that it was a good day.

Wednesday, wonderful today! Got two gold stars on the chart, three more and she can get a prize from the treasure chest! Her handwriting is improving!

Thursday, she read 'The Very Hungry Caterpillar' during reading time to the class. No problems at all. Very impressed with how much she likes to read!

 Friday, came in this morning with a very poor attitude. Didn't want to hang up her backpack and jacket after dad left, wouldn't share paint during activities. I had to ask her three times to put her doll away before I held onto it the rest of class time. Had to take away one of her gold stars. Please leave toys at home. Was very uncooperative today and only ate half of her lunch. -Miss M.’

"Arianna..."

"Mommy, I'm sorry." Arianna frowned as she climbed up on the couch and sat next to Jessie.

Van sighed as she looked at me, "I don't think we should go today, maybe tomorrow..."

I shook my head, "What? No, no. Just cause she had a bad day doesn't mean anything. Arianna, no TV tonight."

"Daddy! No!!" Arianna yelled at me, her face getting red as she got off the couch and marched over to me, "I want to watch TV!" She shoved my legs as I stared down at her, shocked over her outburst.

"Okay...Jessie, thank you but you don't need to watch her tonight." Van says apologetically as she went over to her purse and handed Jessie a twenty, "Maybe we can try again tomorrow. It's your deposit." Van cracked a smile as Jessie laughed and took it.

"Thank you. I'll see you later Ari."

Ari pouted even more as Jessie left, "You're being mean!" She shoved my legs again as I quickly picked her up and brought her over to her little pink chair in the corner.

"You're going in time out, Arianna." I retorted and placed her down on her butt, "You're going to sit here and think about how you're acting-Arianna!" I shouted when she quickly got off the chair and started running up the stairs.

"Arianna! What is the matter!" Van quickly grabbed her and brought her back over to the seat, "You do not talk to daddy like that! And you don't push him either!"

"But you do it!" She yelled in Vans face, tears streaming down her cheeks, "You push daddy all the time!"

Fuck!

Van stared at her, "Five minutes Arianna. Then you're going to your room. I mean it. Do not move from this chair or you'll get your butt spanked, got it?"

That sent Arianna over the edge as she started crying uncontrollably. Vanity backed away from her and stepped out into the backyard, "No! Go away Anna!" Ari kicked her legs out when Anarchy got close to her.

"Come on girl." I muttered as we both went into the backyard, "Van?" I noticed that she was sitting on the outdoor couch crying, "Shit, doll. It's okay." I sat down next to her and wrapped my arms around her, her head leaning against my chest.

"We-we can't fight in front of her Nikki." She sobbed to me as I kissed the top of her head, "Shes at an age where she just absorbs everything now! Damnit." I rubbed her back as she shook in my arms, her tears bleeding through my shirt.

"We'll get better Van. I promise." I took my arms away when she sat up and wiped her face, "No more fighting in front of Arianna. She doesn't need to hear or see our death matches."

Van nodded, "I really wanted to go to the beach with you." She sniffled, looking in through the glass doors to see Arianna was still sitting.

I smiled a bit and rubbed the back of her neck, "It's okay. Just like you said, we can go tomorrow." I kissed the top of her head as she relaxed back into the cushion, "Just let her get her tantrum out for now and we can explain to her later how mommy and daddy sometimes don't get along."

"Because daddy's mean." Van chuckled a bit and looked up at me and gave my cheek a quick peck.

"Hmm, call me daddy again." I laughed as Van swatted my chest and shook her head.

We went back inside seeing that Arianna had calmed down, "Go get a juice box and go to your room for a little bit." I told Arianna as she went to the kitchen before going up the stairs sulking as Anarchy followed after her.

I groaned and laid down on the couch, kicking off my boots, "She's literally the mini version of you."

Vanity chuckled and hanged Arianna's backpack up on the hook, "I can only imagine how she's gonna be when she's older."

"A fuckin demon. We'll probably need to call a priest." I grinned as I sat up and patted the spot next to me, "So the beach tomorrow?"

"Maybe if she has a better attitude. I don't want to leave her alone with Jessie if she's still acting like that. But maybe I can call Clementine, I also know Arianna has been asking to see her and Tommy." Van explained to me as she grabbed the remote and turned on the TV.

"So are you two good now?" I asked, rubbing the back of my neck, "Best friends again?"

Van nodded as she glanced at me for a split second before putting on MTV, "Yeah, we're okay now. We talked about it. She said she was sorry for being so distant and I apologized as well. Just no more being mean to Clementine, okay?"

My jaw clenched as I nodded, "Yeah. Of course."

*Next Morning*

~Vanity's POV~

"Nikki, you dyed all your undershirts pink!" I groaned as I pulled them out of the washer, seeing the red and black checkered boxers lying at the bottom.

Nikki came into the laundry room and looked at all of his wet clothes, "Eh, not a big deal. Plus, I was tired last night and just threw it all in."

"Don't ever do my laundry." I chuckled as I started the dryer just to put more clothes into the washer. I left the laundry room, smelling the sweetness of French toast cooking.

"Arianna! Breakfast is ready!" Nikki yelled for her as she came from the living room, blanket wrapped around her body as she climbed up into her spot at the table.

"Tank you." She spoke quietly as Nikki put a plate down in front of her and a small bowl of orange slices on the side, "Mommy, can we go to the park today. The one with the really big slide?"

I smiled at her and then Nikki when he put a plate and a cup of coffee before me, "Actually baby, you're gonna go hang out with Auntie and uncle Tommy while me and daddy go do some things."

"I get to see auntie!?!" She exclaimed as her smile was wide and her giggle was contagious.

"Yes Ari. She's gonna come get you in a hour and you'll hang out with her and T for the day. So eat your breakfast so you can get ready." I watched as she started to scarf down her breakfast.

"Where's she taking her?" Nikki asked as he sat across from me.

"I think her and Tommy want to take Ari to this interactive exploratorium downtown? She gets to learn things plus it's hands on and then probably get something for lunch." I looked at him, pointing to the syrup dripping onto his goatee.

He wiped it away and then rubbed the remnants on his pajama pants, "Is it that new one? I wanted to take her there. It looks like a lot of fun. You can even walk through space and you can dig up dinosaur bones."

I chuckled, "Yes the new one. We can always take her there some other time. It's not a big deal."

"Mom I'm done."

"Eat your fruit."

"You're right. It gives us enough time to spend together anyways. We can bring Anarchy too." I looked at him for a moment before I continued eating my breakfast.

Nikki's been saying I'm right to a lot of things lately. I don't know if he actually means that or if he's just saying it instead of starting an argument.

After Arianna was done eating I helped her get ready for the day. She sat on the floor between my legs as I french braided her hair, "You need to behave today, you hear me? If auntie calls and me and daddy have to come get you, there will be no TV for the rest of the weekend."

Arianna nodded as I tied the braids with yellow rubber bands. I kissed the back of her head as she leaned into my chest and stared up at me.

"Brat." I chuckled and tickled her stomach as she started giggling.

"Nuh uh!" She pressed my arms to my side as she stood up to grab her shoes. I watched as she put them on and tried to tie them herself. I grabbed a backpack and put an extra set of clothes in it just in case.

I looked behind me when there was a loud bang. I chuckled seeing Arianna rip off her shoes and throw them back in the closet before crawling around for her slip on light up tennis shoes.

"We'll practice tying them later." I handed over her backpack as she took it. I reached for a jacket behind her door and followed her down the stairs.

"Tommy's here!" Nikki shouted as I heard boisterous laughter coming from the front door.

"What's up munchkin?! You ready?" Tommy crouches down as Arianna ran to him and he picked her up, "Me and auntie have such a fun day planned for you. You get to hang with the cool kids today."

Arianna smirked at me and stuck her tongue out at Nikki. I chuckled and gave Ari a kiss on the cheek, "Where's Clem?"

"Ah...she was finishing up some commission and she'll be ready when we get back. I don't know how she got this job, but she's making a piece for Bon Jovi." Tommy grinned smirking at Nikki, "Your best friend."

Hm.

"The dudes a fucking flake man." Nikki rolled his eyes, "Sorry, freaking flake. But yeah, good for her for making her own money."

Tommy rolled his eyes, "Shut up. Uh...anytime you want her back by?"

I shrugged, "Whenever you guys are done. Him and I are gonna go to the beach and whatever else he has planned."

Tommy nodded and put Arianna down on the floor, "Alright little sixxter lets go. Bye guys!" Arianna bolted out the door as she waved to us before Tommy helped her into the backseat.

"You ready?" I looked at Nikki when he asked and nodded, "I made some sandwiches for us and grabbed some drinks too."

"Okay." I chuckled as I grabbed Anarchy's leash off the hook. Her tail started wagging instantly as well as her barking excitedly, "I know I know you're ready to go too."

*An hour later*

I glanced out the window as we were on the outskirts of Malibu and past all the fancy houses were surrounded by already in Hidden Hills. Nikki pulled off onto a winding dirt road with green hills on each side, "Are you actually going to kill me out here?"

His lips pulled into a smirk but he remained quiet and came to a stop where a yellow dead end sign was posted on a old chain link fence. He then locked the doors, "Nikki! Stop!"

He started laughing and took the keys out of the ignition before unlocking the doors and getting out, "It was too good to pass up. I knew you'd freak out."

I rolled my eyes and looked around, smelling the salt in the air and hearing the waves crashing on the shoreline, "That wasn't funny." I mumbled as he handed me a backpack before putting the camera strap around his neck.

"Till death do us part, Princess." He grinned before grabbing a hold of Anarchy's leash, "Come on. We gotta go through the fence."

I followed him as there was an opening with the chain link rolled back but long wispy branches from the tree blocking it, "Are you sure this isn't like trespassing?" I asked Nikki as I went through and watched him help Anarchy through it next.

"You know, I'm actually not that sure. I found this one night a few years ago when I was just riding on the Harley." He explained to me as we started walking down the trail. He unhooked Anarchy's leash and she started running ahead of us.

I looked around at the grassy hills with a light mist resting on top of them. There was fields of California peonies that ran along the man made path down to the beach. I heard the shutter of a camera and turned around when Nikki was taking a picture of the coastline.

"So why'd you wanna take me here?" I asked him, bending down when Anarchy dropped a stick in front of me and I chucked it for her.

"I've read that nature is relaxing and soothing. Plus I thought maybe we could use the peace and quiet since it's been kinda hectic lately..." he trailed off as he snapped another picture of Anarchy running up to me.

"Yeah, it has been.." I grabbed the stick and threw it for her again, "So how's the album? Do you know when you guys will be done?"

Nikki caught you and walked beside me, "Uh...actually I have a demo cassette in the car if you wanted to listen to it. It's real fucking good, Van. It's hard, it's rough. It's perfect."

I smiled at him, "I'd love to listen to it. I'm sure I'd like it Nikki. I know all of you have been working hard on it."

"You know, John is so talented. Like he's helped write the lyrics and come up with the sound. Hell, he can even play guitar and cover things that Mick normally wouldn't be able to. It's great."

The trail lead us over a small hill as we dropped down onto old wooden stairs that led down to the beach, "So if you have the demo that means you'll be ready to release the album soon, right?"

"Yeah, yeah. I wanna say maybe by March the album will be ready. We're just self titling so we don't gotta get clever with it."

I chuckled, "Mötley Crüe by Mötley Crüe?" He grinned and nodded, "I like it."

"Okay next question, album comes so does the tour....what are we doing? Because I know you want us to come but I'm not sure how i feel about bringing Arianna."

Nikki exhaled deeply, "I would like both of you to be with me. I don't want to leave you two at home by yourselves for that long. I could make sure we have our own space so she isn't around anything bad, not that they're would be anything bad! Except for the booze and culture of touring with a rock band."

I grinned at Nikki and nudged his side with my elbow, "That is pretty bad. I'm just concerned of her falling behind in school and she would be so overwhelmed with everything going on she wouldn't focus on any school work I'd help her with. Her sleep schedule would be completely off, and plus Anarchy, I don't want to board her for months. Plus with us and how we've been fighting whose to say we wouldn't on tour? I don't want to go on tour Nikki."

I knew he was getting frustrated with my by the way he shook his head and rolled his neck from side to side, "Okay well what if we work it out with the people that book the shows and venues and we could stop in Dallas and maybe your mom can keep her for a bit?"

I laughed, "Oh my god. You're actually serious? Leaving Arianna with my mother would be such a horrible idea. No we aren't doing that either."

"Van come on. Why not? Why can't we just agree on something for once? Arianna would probably love to go on tour and see me on stage and go to a bunch of cool places too. We could go somewhere neat in every city and whose to say we can't bring Anarchy with us? It's my band." He laughs and wraps his arm around my shoulder and pulls me to him when we get on the beach.

I rest my cheek on his chest, "If, and I'm saying if. If my mom does hypothetically say yes how long would we leave her for her. I'm not to thrilled about leaving her anywhere. Not after New York."

I never wanted Arianna to think I abandoned her ever again.

"A month? Gives us a break and time to be adults. Plus we both know she'd have the time of her life being spoiled down there on the family farm with Theo and Betty." Nikki laughed as Anarchy came up and dropped seaweed on his shoes, "Nice, thanks girl." Nikki rolled his eyes and picked it off before throwing her stick far across the shore, "So is that a yes?"

I glanced at Nikki, "It's a maybe and let me think about it."

Nikki nodded and gave my ass a light smack before pulling away from me, "Can I take some pictures of you? You are my favorite model after all."

[dailyaudiobible]

03/13/2021 DAB Transcript

Numbers 19:1-20:29, Luke 1:1-25, Psalms 56:1-13, Proverbs 11:8

Today is the 13th day of March welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I'm Brian it’s great to be here with you today as we…yeah…as we sort of put a bow on the end of another week, which puts us at the end of the ninth full week of this year, ninth week and some change, a couple days. And there is only one way to go and that way is forward. So, that's what we'll do. It's a…it's a day of transition here. When we get to the New Testament, we will be entering the third of the four Gospels. This is known as the book of Luke. We concluded the book of Mark yesterday. So, we'll talk about Luke when we get there. But first, Numbers chapters 19 and 20.

Introduction to the gospel of Luke:

Okay. As we said at the beginning, that now that we’re in entering the New Testament portion of our day together we’re moving into some new territory, the third gospel known as the gospel of Luke. And the gospel of Luke is probably the most well put together, the best written of the Gospels, the most concise of the Gospels. And the gospel of Luke and the book of Acts are more of a two-volume set. Like Luke/Acts written by the same person to the same recipient with the gospel of Luke chronicling…chronicling the life of Jesus and His ministry and then the book of acts, essentially chronicling the early church formation, and specifically the lives of the apostle Peter, and then the apostle Paul, who we have yet to get to know. So, Matthew, Mark, and now Luke ,these three Gospels are known as the synoptic Gospels, largely because they share a lot of the same material and cover a lot of the same ground with just about all scholars believing that Mark is the first gospel that was ever written about Jesus that has been preserved and that Matthew and Luke used Mark in their construction because they cover the same territory but in many cases they are Word for Word. But then there's many deviations as well. A lot more detail is inserted into the gospel of Luke, for example, then the book of Mark, filling out those stories. It's because these Gospels, they were written to different audiences to fulfill different purposes. So, for example, in the case of Matthew, we've already read this, so we can think back and we can remember that Matthew is a very Hebrew centric gospel of Jesus where Jesus is shown to fulfill many Hebrew prophecies all along the way. In fact, like I said, you can’t hardly read a page in the book of Matthew without Jesus fulfilling a prophecy. It's very front and center. The gospel that we’re about to read, the gospel of Luke, is likely more written primarily to a Gentile audience or a seeking audience, the story of Jesus revealing that the gospel of Christ includes the whole world and…and not just those of the…of the Jewish faith. So, let's settle into the gospel of Luke here. Like I said, it's in narrative form probably the best constructed of the Gospels to read. And we’ll be covering some familiar territory as we do that. So, today Luke chapter 1 verses 1 to 25.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word. We thank You for the passing of time that has brought us to this day. We thank You for Your faithfulness during all of that time. We thank You for what You are speaking in the time that we know as this year and we are grateful that You have brought us to the threshold and now we have entered the gospel of Luke. Come Holy Spirit we pray. Continue to lead us deeper into Jesus. Continue to lead us on the narrow path that leads to life. Continue we pray to lead us into all truth. We pray this in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is always home base, it's always been home base and that's where the Global Campfire is, that's where we come together around that apparatus that's on the Internet. And, so, be aware of that.

Be aware of, as I mention often, of the Community section because that is where to begin to get connected. That's where different links are on the social media channels that we’re…that we’re…that we use. It's also the home of the Prayer Wall which is a constant. We can always go there to pray. We can always go there to ask for prayer. So, stay connected. It's important to stay connected in the journey that we’re on as we continue through the year because it's just nice to know we’re not alone as we take the journey. It's nice to know that when those things come up that are too heavy for us to carry, we don't have to carry them alone. And, so, be aware of the Community section.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, you can do that at dailyaudiobible.com. There is a link on the homepage and my heart is full of gratitude and in awe out a daily basis that…well that we’re even here. And the truth is we’re here because we’re in this together. And, so, if…if what we are as a community matters and brings life to you than thank you for being life-giving. So, there’s a link on the homepage. If you’re using the Daily Audio Bible app you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or the mailing address, if that’s your preference, is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement, you can hit the Hotline button in the app, the little red button up at the top or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Show Me God's Love Ephesians chapter 3 verse 20 and 21 and Matthew chapter 18 verses 19 and 20. I just wanted to give a shout out to Peter and God’s Smile for the song that they played on her tummy. We need more tummy drums. I haven't laughed and smiled so much, and I was having a really bad day until I heard that so I want you guys to know you are responsible for giving me my first laughs and smiles of the day and perhaps that week. So, thank you for that. Slave of Jesus it's good to hear your voice. Mark Street good to hear your voice. And there's so many others that I can't even get into it now, I guess but Candace from Oregon it's good to hear your voice and hope that you're doing well. Well, that's it for now. Show me God's love.

Hello this is Steve from Pennsylvania my moniker is Face Like Flint from Isaiah 50 verse 7. And I'm calling to ask for partnership with the world-wide body of believers that is listening to this podcast. I'd like you to pray for my sister Catalina who is entered in a hospital behavioral health ward for the ninth time in the last 30 years. She's been struggling with schizoaffective bipolar. It’s a very difficult diagnosis and it's cyclical. And I want you to ask that the Lord would give her some supernatural revelation into her own condition and that the Lord would deliver her from any spiritual aspect of this illness, this brain disorder, and that she would be able to read a letter I'm about ready to deliver to the hospital from my sisters and I as we're trying to get her to cooperate with the professionals and to help us in rescuing her stuff from her apartment, her cats, and be ready to move into my mother's, the homestead where we grew up. My mother passed in November and the children have inherited the household. So, I'd like you to join me in that. We really need Jesus to break through here. There's just a lot of anger and darkness inside that comes out during these periods. Otherwise, she's perfectly normal and just a wonderful sister and very intelligent. But she needs Jesus and I pray that you would join me and pray for Catalina. Thank you.

Hey DAB family this is beautifully broken. I just was thinking today as I was listening to people call in and as I've listened to people call in and I hear people say I've been listening for 10 years, I've been listening for five years, I've been listening for the whole time all 15 years. Personally, I myself this is my 4th year going through, but it really struck me today how amazing it is that there is a troop, an army of people reading the Bible from start to finish year after year after year. And what is God raising us up for? I just think that is amazing. There is no other format that I know of that allows this and that lets people interact in the way that we interact in going through the Bible together. It is such a unique community. And we are a Facebook post away, a telephone call away, a prayer away from each other the majority of the time. I think God has something really wonderful planned for this community. It’s just amazing to be a part of it.

Hey guys this is Mary calling in. I'm 19 years old. I just wanted to comment and…and just give a praise report about this community. Over these past few months, I've been learning about community and how important it is especially during times like these and I just…I thank God every day for the community I'm surrounded by, my church community and, you know, the things I like community and just, yeah, I just want to say I'm so grateful and you all inspire me so much every day to just be a servant, to be more humble and be aware and just give my all. So, I thank you. I really hope you guys all have a blessed week and weekend. God is so good. Yeah. Thank you. Bye.

[danielcooperrp]

Terror

As much as he loves being around his wife, like, all the time, these days, he’s grateful for the little pockets of time he gets one-on-one with their daughter. Just over the six month mark, Anna tells them something new about herself every day, and the chance to see it, to be the first one to discover that she gets the hiccups when she eats too late or that she’s afraid of the leprechaun on his Celtics sweatshirt, feels like a personal triumph. So when Ally told him that she was going to take a long weekend and help Nat out on a service mission in Ecuador, he sent her off with a kiss and a wave of the baby’s chubby fist, ready for some quality daddy-daughter time in the city. 

Around noon on Saturday, after a lazy morning snuggling in bed, Daniel sets them up in the living room, queuing up the Patriots’ 2001 AFC Divisional Playoff game on the TV. “Okay, Jelly Bean,” he says, lowering her into her Pack ‘n’ Play, “if we’re gonna get you caught up on Patriots history, we’re gonna have to start you early. The Snow Bowl is a perfect entry point, so pay attention.” She blinks up at him with wide eyes. "Just be glad I’m not starting you with Red Sox history, little girl. It’s much longer and much more depressing. You don’t need to learn about Bill Buckner ‘til you’re older.”

He settles on the couch with a mug of tea and hits play, and soon he’s narrating the game to Anna. “So the false start means that a set offensive player crossed the line of scrimmage before the ball was snapped. Can you say ‘scrimmage’?” She shrieks, shoving a stuffed bulldog into her mouth. “Fantastic.” 

Just after the start of the second quarter, a familiar odor pervades the room. He pauses the game. “Uh-oh!” He grins at the baby. “I think someone needs a diaper change, and since Uncle Connor isn’t here, I have a guess who it might be.” 

He bends down to scoop the offender into his arms, dramatically pinching his nose to make her giggle. He carries her into the nursery—what was once Jonathan’s room—and sets her up on the changing table. It takes him longer than strictly necessary, given his penchant for singing operatic ballads to narrate everything he’s doing, much to his audience’s delight. She cackles as he dances the wet wipe in front of her, giving it an impossibly deep baritone. 

He’s just finished snapping the closures on her onesie (navy blue and red, for the occasion) when he hears what sounds like exploding glass from the living room. Confused, he picks Anna up and, cradling her against his chest, tentatively leaves the nursery. It takes him a few moments to see what happened—the room looks more or less normal, the usual insane amount of baby toys strewn all over the place, his mug of tea where left it on the coffee table—but before he can register the glittering sea of glass on the floor, something flies across his field of vision. 

“Fuck!” he shouts, ducking back into the nursery. He slams the door shut, and the baby starts to wail. Over her cries, though, he can hear the telltale sound of tires screeching on the street below. 

“Shh,” he whispers, bouncing her more anxiously than is probably helpful. Anna’s face is growing red, so he presses nervous kisses to her cheeks, murmuring, “It’s okay, baby girl. It’s okay, I’ve got you.”

He sets Anna in her crib, giving her a random stuffed animal to occupy her, and then he edges carefully to her window, which also faces the street. It’s completely clear, not a person in sight, so he guesses it’s safe to go back out. 

When he reenters the common area, he nearly vomits; the front window is entirely shattered, glass shards everywhere, and sitting on the floor in front of the TV, guilty and shocking, is a brick. He stares at it, unblinking, unable to comprehend what happened. It’s like all those years of education suddenly vanished, and he’s left with the mind of a child: Where did that brick come from? Why is in the apartment? What happened to the window? 

Stepping carefully in his socked feet, he ventures further into the room, heart pounding in his ears. He peers closer at the brick, like it’s a bomb that could explode at any moment, and something new catches his eye. There’s something in Anna’s Pack ‘n’ Play, something much different than the array of fluffy animals and wooden blocks she’d been playing with earlier. When he sees it, his stomach drops, leaving him woozy: a second brick, right where his baby girl had been sitting just a few minutes earlier. 

All caution abandoned, he stumbles forward, skin crawling, itching over his bones, to snatch his phone up from the coffee table. He scrolls frantically for his phone app, ready to call the one person he can think to need in this situation—but pauses, finger hovering over the dial button. No. Panicking is not going to help. There’s a way to handle this, and it involves a different contact. He scrolls again, and makes a call. 

“You need to come into the city,” he says flatly, quietly. “Now. Tell no one.” He hangs up. 

He moves mechanically back to the nursery, touching as little in the room as possible. He’s vaguely aware of pain in his feet, but he ignores it. He closes the nursery door again once he’s inside and picks Anna up out of her crib. He can’t imagine putting her down again, couldn’t think of not having her directly in sight. He sits stiffly in the glider that they uses to rock her to sleep, bouncing her automatically in his arms. She’s mostly stopped crying at this point, having now worn herself out. She wanders in and out of sleep, her eyes opening and closing with no real sense of reason. They sit in the quiet, her little chest rising and falling, his almost perfectly still as he barely breathes. 

He doesn’t know how long it takes, though it feels both like forever and like no time at all. There’s a mechanical crash in the living room—that stirs the baby—and a familiar voice. “DANIEL! ANNA!”

“In here.” He doesn’t even know if his voice is audible.

But it must be, because half a moment later, the nursery door is banging open, and Anna wails in his arms. “What the fuck happened?” Tony demands, suit deconstructing around him. “It’s like a war zone out there.” 

He has to work hard to pull himself together into something resembling a human person. “They threw bricks. Through the window. Two of them.”

“Who?”

“No idea.” His eyes fall down to Anna, who’s gripping the front of his shirt in one tiny fist. “One of them landed in her Pack ‘n’ Play.”

Tony staggers to the side. “Jesus Christ—is she—”

“She’s fine. We were in here when it—” He takes a deep breath. “But she had been in there just minutes before.” He finally looks back up at his father-in-law, eyes brimming with tears. “It could have killed her.” 

Tony runs a hand over his face. “I don’t understand. Who—why the fuck are people throwing bricks into your place?”

“Did you see them?”

“No, why?”

The words are burned on the inside of Daniel’s eyelids. “They’ve got ‘Die, muties’ written on them.”

The silence echoes, filling the nursery until Daniel thinks the walls are going to collapse. 

“You’re hurt,” Tony says finally, voice croaking. He nods to Daniel’s feet. “You’re bleeding.”

Daniel nods. “I know.”

“Does Ally know? Is she on her way back from...Columbia?”

“Ecuador. And no. I haven’t told her. And I’m not going to.”

Tony frowns. “Uh, hate to break it to you, kid, but I think she’s going to notice the massive hole in your window.”

“No, you’re going to help me get that fixed and this place cleaned up before she comes back.”

With a sigh, Tony says, “Look, kid, you can’t keep something like this from her—”

“I’m not going to lie to her,” Daniel snaps, and then quickly adjusts his temperament when the baby starts to fuss. “I’ll tell her everything when she gets home. But I’m not calling her back here early when there’s nothing she can do, and I’m not going to have her coming home to a terror scene. Besides, if she finds out now, she’ll go through every anti-mutant bigot in this town until she’s arrested or dead.”

“And what’ll stop her from doing that once she gets back?”

Daniel looks him straight in the eye. “You will.”

Tony snorts. “Have you ever tried to stop my daughter from doing something she wants to do? I’m a billionaire but I’m not god.” 

“She’s not going to find the people who did this because you’re going to find them first.”

Tony blinks in surprise. “Daniel, kid, listen, I get that this has been a shocking experience—”

“A shocking experience?” Daniel laughs derisively. He pushes himself up out of the glider, ignoring the stabbing pain in his feet. Tony winces. “What’s shocking is that this is the first time this has happened. What’s shocking is that we weren’t better prepared for it. What’s shocking is that I let myself drop my guard for five fucking minutes.”

“Daniel—”

“You think this is the first time something like this has happened to me? I was four when I first heard someone call my dad a kike. Walking out of Fenway, first home win of the season, we were floating on air, and some skinhead shouts it at him from across the parking lot. I was seventeen when a group of grown men chased me and Connor with bats through downtown London because they saw us leaving a gay club. I’ve been called a fag more times than I could count, and I’ve been with Ally when she’s had to walk past anti-mutant protesters all around town. Shocking? Tony, this is our fucking lives. And it almost cost my daughter hers.” 

He crumbles back into the chair, wiping furiously at the tears on his cheeks. He brushes away the curls from Anna’s face, his heart racing.

The silence is long, ended only when Tony clears his throat. “I can have the window replaced by the end of the day. We’ll get something stronger, bulletproof, brick-proof, whatever. I’ll get F.R.I.D.A.Y. to start scanning the internet for chatter about an attack on you guys, see if we can’t get a lead.”

“You can take the bricks to Detective Shannon McInerney at the station on Myrtle. She owes me a favor, can run fingerprints under the table.”

Tony tips his head to the side. “Why does a BPD detective owe you a favor?”

Daniel shrugs. “I introduced her to her wife. Tell her it’s for me.” 

Nodding, Tony turns to head out. “Take care of your feet, before you bleed out.” He’s almost out the door before he stops and turns back. “What’re the odds?”

Daniel’s barely listening, his attention turned back to the fussing baby he’s holding. “Hm?”

“What are the odds that these asswipes would choose to do this when Ally, a mutant who could easily kill them without breaking a sweat, happens to be out of town by herself for the first time in...god, forever.”

Daniel freezes, considering Tony’s words. He’s not wrong. Ally never goes anywhere for an extended period of time without him, especially not since the baby was born. The only reason she went on this trip at all was because it was only for a few days, and it was all logistical on-the-ground stuff, no actual superheroing required. The chances of them picking a random Saturday to throw bricks through their front window and hitting the one when she wasn’t home...

“What does it mean?” he asks quietly. “Why threaten a mutant if the mutant isn’t there to receive the threat?”

Tony chooses his next words carefully. “Unless the mutant they were intending to threaten wasn’t Ally.” 

The words rush over him like an icy river. His eyes widen as he stares at his daughter, petrified. No one knows, of course, whether or not Anna will end up being a mutant, but if there’s one things bigots hate more than mutants, it’s mutants making other mutants. Anna poses an existential threat to the anti-mutant agenda: the daughter of a powered superhero, the granddaughter of an Avenger, and possibly part of the next generation of mutants. 

The bricks were meant for her.

He nearly vomits. 

“I’ll take care of it,” Tony says quickly. “You hear me? You stay here, you stay with her, you get yourself cleaned up. I’ll have this all sorted out before Ally gets back, I promise you that.”

“And what will you do once you find them?” he asks, devoid of emotion. 

Tony pauses. “What needs to be done.”

A beat. “Good.” 

Tony nods, and then closes the nursery door behind him. Daniel continues to gently rock back and forth, humming tunelessly until Anna’s eyes flutter shut again. He can’t stop looking at her, can’t help but think himself in circles about what he almost lost today. Despite his diatribe to Tony, he is in shock. He’s shocked that despite everything he’s been through, he’s still able to feel the razor-sharp fear of this, the choking panic of how close he came to having his still-beating heart ripped from his chest. There have always been stakes before, the uncertainty of someone else’s behavior, the fierce anxiety of what could be done to him or to Ally or to Connor and Jonathan, but this, this little, impossible thing in his arms, all rounds edges and eyelashes, this is without a doubt going to be the thing that breaks him. 

He presses the softest kiss to her forehead. As much as his body is itching, his limbs aching to get up and run, to stash his little girl somewhere the rest of the world could never hope to touch her, he lets her sleep, breath coming slow and even, lost in a dream where only those who love her most can find her. 

[bazypitchandsimonsnow]

Movie Night

Rated: T

Genre: Fluff

Word count: 1159

Summary: Baz and Simon watch "The Babadook" for movie night. Simon doesn't cope well. Based on "frightened kiss" request.

Read on AO3

AN: Another fic so soon? Whaaaaat?! Yeah I'm on a small roll that will stop this weekend once I'm exhausted from work. Hope you enjoy this domestic drabble. Warning: spoilers for/description of scenes from "The Babadook", including a dog being killed. It's not explicit but still, puppy :( It's a freaky movie. Simon is scared for a good reason. Also, kudos to @carryonmylovelies for this idea. I was stumped but she is very, very smart haha.

———————————————-

Baz

“Oh my god! He’s right there!”

I sigh as Simon shrieks out exactly what we’re seeing on the telly, again. I suppose it’s his way of coping with jump scares, but really it’s getting a bit annoying. He’s so terrified. I warned him about The Babadook, but did he listen? No. Because the more you tell Simon Snow not to do something, the more he wants to do it. I adore his strong will, but it’s also infuriating. I suppose that’s what a relationship is. Learning to live with each other’s flaws and keep loving each other anyway.

“Jesus Christ!” I can tell that Snow is really scared because he’s swearing like a Normal. Also he’s practically in my lap. Usually I wouldn’t complain about that, but he’s digging his nails into my thigh and blocking most of the screen with his wing. It’s getting on my nerves.

“Do you want me to turn off the movie, Snow?” I say, trying not to sound exasperated.

“No, no, I want to see what happens.” He jolts at another scary moment. “I thought this was supposed to be a gay movie.”

“That was an internet joke, stemming from Netflix putting it in the wrong category. I warned you it was a very scary horror movie.”

“I wanted to see what all the fuss was about,” he mutters, pouting like the child he is.

“Now you’re seeing it. What do you think?”

The Babadook drops on Amelia from the ceiling. Simon yelps and jumps fully into my lap. He wraps both my arms around my neck, pressing as close as possible, his wing encasing us both. “It’s...fine.”

I sigh, instinctively circling one arm around his waist and another over his legs. There’s no point in just turning it off. Snow will be huffy all night. He chose this, and I know making his own choices is important to him. It’s just frustrating when it’s clearly not a wise one. But I love Simon. So I keep holding him and leave the bloody movie on, resigning myself to watching it from over his wing.

“Why is Amelia acting like this?” Snow asks quietly.

“She’s possessed by the Babadook,” I reply.

“But I thought the Babadook wasn’t real.”

“It’s a metaphor.”

“For what?”

“For her ongoing depression, unresolved grief over her husband’s sudden death, and deep seated anger towards her son for sort of killing him as well as acting out constantly. The possession itself represents her psychotic break after a long depressive episode, also known as psychotic depression. The previous hallucinations were build up to the full on break.”

“Huh. ‘Babadook’ is a lot shorter and easier to remember.”

“Precisely.”

We watch the adorable dog go into the kitchen, and Amelia follows. Oh shit, I forgot about this part. My heart tightens, as does my grip on Snow.

“Snow, you may want to look away,” I whisper.

“What, why?”

“Just trust me, Simon. Look away.”

Amelia bends down to grab the dog. Simon tenses up, clutching my t-shirt. But he’s still looking, horrically transfixed by what’s happening. “Baz...is she going to...”

The dog starts whimpering. Simon gasps, then buries his face in my neck. “Shit,” I hiss, pressing a hand to the back of his head. “Sorry, I forgot-” And then he kisses me.

It’s not that I’m ever against Snow kissing me. Quite the opposite, actually. But this seems like an odd time for it. We’re watching a horror movie where a woman just killed her dog, and he’s snogging me within an inch of my life. He’s moving his lips quite furiously, desperately pushing mine open with his tongue. I kiss back, but cautiously, unsure of what’s going on.

It takes me a second to realise that his hands are shaking, and his eyes are squeezed very tight. Oh, I think I get it. Simon’s scared and wants to distract himself from the horror movie. Kissing me would do just that. Or...maybe he wants to feel safe. And maybe kissing me could do that too. That’s a nice thought.

I let myself sink into the kiss. Moving my mouth with his, weaving my fingers into his thick curls, pulling his legs closer. He grips my hair tightly, pressing us even closer together. His wings cover us and his tail winds down my leg. The movie fades to background noise. Well, Snow has the right idea. This is a good distraction, and I feel safe. Truthfully, I always feel safer with him. Crowley, what a sap I’ve become.

“Oh for Merlin’s sake! Does the Babadook turn you two on now?!”

Snow pulls away with a deep sigh, then looks over my shoulder apologetically at Bunce. I can almost feel her glare on the back of my head.

“Hi Pen. Sorry,” he says, trying to sound apologetic. But we’re both more than a bit out of breath and disheveled looking so it doesn’t really work.

“Remind me not to leave my room during your movie nights,” she grumbles. I hear her rummage around the kitchen, slamming the cupboards with unnecessary force. Snow muffles his laugher against my shoulder while I trace lines on his legs. It takes all my willpower not to laugh too. It feels like we’ve been caught by the teacher in a closet. Soon, Bunce is stomping off back to her room.

“Night, Penny,” Simon calls out.

“Goodnight, Bunce,” I add in, because she is half my friend, and I’m snogging her best friend on her couch. I should be courteous.

“Night, arseholes,” he says before slamming her door.

Snow pulls back and taps his forehead against mine as he giggles quietly. I let out a few small chuckles myself.

“She’s going to turn us into toads someday,” I whisper.

“And we’ll probably deserve it,” he replies.

I look over his shoulder at the telly. Samuel is trying to get the Babadook out of Amelia by tying her to the floor. (Truly a pleasant film.) “Would you like to finish the movie? We’re almost at the end”

He shrugs. “Depends. Can we keep snogging until then?”

I cock an eyebrow. “Aren’t you interested in the story?”

“Eh, I’m more interested in you than a not gay horror movie.”

“Aw, you’re such a romantic, Snow,” I deadpan.

“Shut up and kiss me, Baz.”

I lean forward so our noses touch. It’s one of my favourite things to do with him, though I will never admit that out loud. “As you wish.”

We kiss again, but there’s no need to distract or fear this time. It’s just Snow smiling against my mouth and slowly working his fingers in my hair. It’s slow, lazy, and familiar. I could probably kiss him like this forever if he’d let me. The movie isn’t even background noise. It’s sound has been completely replaced with the Simon’s soft sighs

Maybe I should let him choose the movie again next time too.

———————————————-

AN: Horror movie make outs? Hell yes. My ideal date. See y'all next time :D

[dog-day-morning]

WHAT THE HELL YOU SAY?? If you ascribe to the Lord's precept upon the precept's way of interpreting scripture livelihood you can conquer that 3 headed demon. 1 John 2:16 16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. Not too many of us have overcome these stalagmite sized thorn's so it gives reason to say that no one has truly overcome the world except those who've made it to the Kingdome. You gotta die in order to live. That's what they've been telling us since they enslaved us while they lived off of the fat of the lamb right here on Earth. It doesn't pain me to witness learned men of the Bible speak improbable things that aren't in accordance with the calling to be entrusted as a shepherd. Esau has found it upon himself to place his doctrine before God’s word. When your spiritual leaders become lovers of money it doesn't bode well for the parishioners of your Church that looks more like a cult whom Reverend No Good is playing with their financial contributions like it was 3 card monte every Sunday. I've not been corrupted with wealth by way of Mammon which has corrupted many in the Black clergy that in due time will make some believe they're God. That's cray cray. The Evangelical Rights vision of an all white Christian, Denomination Nation is being subjected to the scrutiny of every Black man who historically followed the teachings of their overseers. The people who have misled, and hated us no longer have a cover for their miscalculated deception to fall back on. In the eyes of God it was good for men to be revealed for their love of things that are temporal which have no worth, or meaningful value in the order of things. If the Kingdome has streets paved with gold, and we walk on them with our feet, what meaning taken from this premise that God has spelled out for Israel, and the gentile can you determine? 1 John 4:1-6 4 Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world. 2 Hereby know ye the Spirit of God: Every spirit that confesseth that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is of God: 3 And every spirit that confesseth not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is not of God: and this is that spirit of antichrist, whereof ye have heard that it should come; and even now already is it in the world. 4 Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world. 5 They are of the world: therefore speak they of the world, and the world heareth them. 6 We are of God: he that knoweth God heareth us; he that is not of God heareth not us. Hereby know we the spirit of truth, and the spirit of error. The Spirit of Truth isn't what or who you believe it to be. God uses men to speak to His lost people yea though this Prophet’s in need of psychotherapy. I bear the burden of Israel's hatred, and frustration towards the God of Israel assuredly. But you as well as I must stand before the Lord God on the Day of Judgment to see if heaven will become our new address? This Nation has hated God's people much longer than the date of my birth, way before the mystery of God was revealed 3-4 generations ago in this day and time. The people of Edom have been trying to eliminate God's people off the Earth for the past 3 thousand years without actually thinking to themselves how can they maintain this planet without God behind this for we are not His people? Does the colloquial term biting off your nose to spite your face mean anything to you? If so, apply it right here. They’ve tried to destroy God's people, and they’re not wholly convinced that a man of questionable intelligence who's a case for Milledgeville; “Beyond the Tuskegee Experiment,” is the one chosen for such a hefty task? Have you seen pix of 45 walking through the white House with feces dripping from his Depends as though that crap was normal? I rest my case. I've questioned everything under the sun. The answer always goes

back to the Father. Esau, and his children have destroyed more Civilizations than they've built PERIOD!!! The Egyptians, and the Sumerians gave you astronomy, math, and languages, you still can't figure out how the Egyptians constructed the Pyramids of Giza. My God's people (Indigenous Blacks) invented the cotton gin which was a blessing to us in building, and establishing this global economy for your people. We invented the automobile, the telephone, the major component for the illuminating light bulb, the modern computer, including the internet. We invented the first Central Air and Heating unit. You stole everything from us, and after these brilliant men, and women passed, you kept all rights, and patents to their ingenuity, even if some of them were slaves this should've stayed in their family as generational wealth, and you refuse to even make us an offer of reparations which would be a slap in our face. trump did succeed in his greatest accomplishment. The destruction of Western Civilization as we all know it. I pity you not. Jeremiah 14:14 14 Then the Lord said unto me, The prophets prophesy lies in my name: I sent them not, neither have I commanded them, neither spake unto them: they prophesy unto you a false vision and divination, and a thing of nought, and the deceit of their heart. 1 Timothy 6:17-19 17 Charge them that are rich in this world, that they be not highminded, nor trust in uncertain riches, but in the living God, who giveth us richly all things to enjoy; 18 That they do good, that they be rich in good works, ready to distribute, willing to communicate; 19 Laying up in store for themselves a good foundation against the time to come, that they may lay hold on eternal life. You had Evangelical pastors losing it over the presidential election of 2020 who went out on a limb for a man whose broken all ten of the Ten Commandments including murder. Whattup Jeffrey Epstein?!! They openly supported an orange hobbit who brought down the house of Esau with their support. Paula white beat her hands so hard that night calling on the god of aboo daboo to bring the fallen angels from Africa on Mount Hermon to fight the battle to prolong WS; WTF?!! I saw a bevy of false prophets ministering in the name of white Jesus who lied saying God spoke to them in a dream Himself personally, declaring that trump would serve a 2nd term, and sit in the oval office again with his cronies while Rome finished burning to the ground. Biden who's just as racist as Bull Connor, but for the sake of political correctness we’ll call him a left wing, conservative moderate. Add it all up, and these people are gonna hate us forever. Yeshua is coming back for Israel; let us get that point across. You will have some of those who will cleave unto the house of Judah that's Israel who will enter New Jerusalem. But, this doesn't bode well for the majority of Edom or Israel. Only a remnant of the remnant shall enter into His glory that is Israel. All of those people who look like us, you know, they're our skinfolk, but they wouldn't accept an invitation to a family reunion unless the Grand Dragon of the kkk showed up dripping with the blood of twelve Black servicemen after your first cousin who's about 6 feet 2 damn B i i i i i G beat him to within an ounce of Jack Daniels proving that a retarded 9yr old with a degree in I hate Bubba can do all things through my doctor who prescribes me 200 grams of Crack. The high profile, low down political pundits, and elected officials who sell us out when the opportunity presents itself, are not Israel. These are the people who are getting paid filthy lucre to walk confederate with those that seek our blood. Some people have trouble sleeping because their job calls for them to prosecute their people unfairly as District Attorney’s. You have a conundrum to deal with, call on Maaco. You can be as Daniel Cameron desires, hoping to become what Kamala Harris has become with even higher aspirations or walk away from your white bread world, and your white zaddy, saving your soul in the process. Believe it or

not God gave me a conscience that's why He has told me to GET OUT!!! Or else. For those who heed these words which are straight interpretations from the Bible, walking with God beats running with the devil of which the remnant will see a reward. Isaiah 28:5 5 In that day shall the Lord of hosts be for a crown of glory, and for a diadem of beauty, unto the residue of his people. If Yeshua wasn't full of grace and mercy, willing to sacrifice Himself for a greater reward that is His Father’s inheritance; the Jew, and the other gentiles would suffer more so had He not been ransom for Israel, and their souls. As I mentioned, Esau, and Jacob are forever at odds. Jacob's not the problem. God has seen fit for some of Esau who are not of Edom, but walk in line with the Fathers people that will enter into His good graces along with Jacob who's the beginning, Esau’s the end. 2 Esdras 6:9 9 Now Esau is the end of this age, and Jacob is the beginning of the age that follows. If the minority who are the people of the caucasus mountains cant get along with this amount of Black people on Earth today, you're not Kingdome ready. Jacob's future is bright, and the angels in heaven are Dark Black. Balsamic Black. You must question yourselves, and be truthful. do you believe you're of the chosen elect? Forget I even asked. Romans 11:1-5 11 I say then, Hath God cast away his people? God forbid. For I also am an Israelite, of the seed of Abraham, of the tribe of Benjamin. 2 God hath not cast away his people which he foreknew. Wot ye not what the scripture saith of Elias? how he maketh intercession to God against Israel saying, 3 Lord, they have killed thy prophets, and digged down thine altars; and I am left alone, and they seek my life. 4 But what saith the answer of God unto him? I have reserved to myself seven thousand men, who have not bowed the knee to the image of Baal. 5 Even so then at this present time also there is a remnant according to the election of grace. Life's cruelties has taught me not to trust anyone, almost giving up on humanity save the Son of man who is my Savior, and even He has led me into stony, dry places because of my hardened heart that cannot keep thoughts to itself or maintain a compassionate level of human kindness. If this were 1961, and God chose someone with a sane mind he would've been dead before they blew out the 13th candle on his birthday cake. That's the psychosis of Edomites. The remnant doesn’t consist of Israel only, they happen to be the major portion. God will bless those who pass the test that is Tribulation with a robe of white, and a diadem of gold. Don't expect your favorite tele evangelical pastor who supported trump to walk into the Kingdome unless he has an epiphany of the truth that is Yeshua. Many men of Jacob will teach you whereas you've taught us about our history while revising its truth, and reinventing yourselves based on your fallacies which denigrates you because it's based on our legacy, and heritage. Everything we've done here on Earth is chronicled in the heavens, with no stone left unturned. To the detriment of a baseless people who seek to exalt themselves over God's truths this is what the truth has boiled down to. It ain't in ya. Yet some of the gentiles will enter the Kingdome of heaven without ever having to face abuse, persecution, death, pain, fear, or sickness and disease ever again. When God told Abraham that all nations and families of the Earth would be blessed through his loins this was one of the blessings in the case of the gentiles he made conclusive because Abraham was faithful though Sarah's womb was barren, and he had not the strength to conceive a child in his old age, so he thought. Romans 11:21-26 21 For if God spared not the natural branches, take heed lest he also spare not thee. 22 Behold therefore the goodness and severity of God: on them which fell, severity; but toward thee, goodness, if thou continue in his goodness: otherwise thou also shalt be cut off. 23 And they also, if they abide not still in unbelief, shall be grafted in: for God

is able to graft them in again. 24 For if thou wert cut out of the olive tree which is wild by nature, and wert grafted contrary to nature into a good olive tree: how much more shall these, which be the natural branches, be grafted into

their own olive tree? 25 For I would not, brethren, that ye should be ignorant of this mystery, lest ye should be wise in your own conceits; that blindness in part is happened to Israel, until the fulness of the Gentiles be come in. 26 And so all Israel shall be saved: as it is written, There shall come out of Sion the Deliverer, and shall turn away ungodliness from Jacob. The comforters in need of some Alka-Seltzer or Maalox. If you heed the teachings of Jesse Duplantis who teaches a Christian doctrine, that's a man made religion, based on a Hebrew Bible about Israelite people that the world refuses to acknowledge we are God's people not the squatters over in the Middle East which geographically is another fabrication like the size of Alkebulan that dwarfs all other land masses. Ain't nothing changed. Pat Robertson, Joyce Meyer, Rick Warren, Franklin Graham who supports Africa, and its people who are in need, yet is a staunch supporter of trump, and his all but dead lawless administration that's brought about the collapse of the Western hierarchy; makes him look schizophrenic. He could have a stake in the Motherland, and he's watching after his, our investment you tell me, but something's not adding up. I have an Apostle who I trust to a degree more so than members of my natural family which isn't a good look for Gomez, and the rest of the Adams Family. Israel is a forgiving people, because God is in them. I didn't include myself for reasons you'll find out by this time tomorrow as soon as I find the reasoning behind this façade of illusive illusions the world's trying to catch, and I'm trying to outrun called reality. Chase me down with a bag full of Bacon Cheeseburgers, and blow me a kiss before I eat from Frechelle’s goody bag. This is where I leave my computer. My senility is showing, and it looks like the ugliest dog in the pound entered in the Ms. America contest. Good morning. 10/1/2021

[footbaliimagines]

gold digger (an aaron ramsey imagine)

Summary: they ain’t saying she a gold digger…oh wait- they definitely are

It was like a Pandora’s box.

Everyone told you that reading his Instagram comments section was a seriously bad idea. His teammates’ girlfriends were quick to shoot you wary looks and raised eyebrows and rattle off horror stories, and even he had once told you it probably wouldn’t be the best idea.

(“Don’t want you getting those kind of ideas in your head, babe. It’ll just make you feel bad about yourself.” Aaron had informed you with a self-assured nod, and you’d hummed a short ‘sure’ in response.)

Plus, Calum’s girlfriend had once warned you, with wide eyes and a shudder, of that one time a fan followed her private Instagram under a fake name to share her photos and commented that she was a ‘filthy slag’ on all her posts. “Yep. All 128.”

That didn’t stop you from scrolling through his timeline to find the photo of the two of you he had posted the past weekend. It was a mirror selfie and you were trying (and subsequently failing), in fits of laughter, to give him a piggy back. You had thought it was a cute photo. A photo that showed you weren’t some unattainable-hot-leggy-model-stereotypical-WAG on a red carpet but a normal 25-year-old woman who wore Disney pyjamas like the rest of the world and didn’t care too much about how she appeared on the internet.

But the comments section below seems to disagree.

‘Can’t help but think she’s just a bit of a gold digger. Am I the only one?’

‘All she seems to do is take photos with him and leech off his money. My left arse cheek would do a better job as girlfriend.’

‘Does she even have a job?’

And you wish you could respond to the last one with a firm, obstinate, in-your-face-fuck-you-actually ‘no’ but then you remember that you spend 5 days a week sitting at a cramped desk opposite a middle-aged man who looks at you far too often for your liking and picks his nose at his desk, and you have to face the wrath of the London underground at rush hour twice a day, and refrain from commenting back.

You hear the door open and promptly shut, and see Aaron sling his bag to the floor and come over to where you’re sitting on the sofa. He’s home from training and wearing grey sweatpants that hang low on his hips, and an Arsenal sweater that’s potentially crossing the line into too tight territory. You smile at the sight of him walking over and feel yourself breathe out in bliss when you remember that his man, this gorgeous man who knows you like the back of his hand and you’re pretty sure would jump off a bridge if you asked, is all yours.

(And the thought kind of makes you want to kick yourself, but you realise that the sight of him at this precise moment in time would probably turn any sane, moral woman into a gold digger.)

“Hi, my love.” He approaches you, smiling lopsidedly and leaning down to kiss your cheek. You lock your phone and throw it across the sofa swiftly and then lean up to kiss him back. “What are you doing, babe?” He raises an eyebrow at you. “That wasn’t suspicious at all.”

“Nothing, nothing,” You squeak. “How was your day?”

“Were you watching porn?” He asks incredulously.

“How is that the first conclusion you jump to, you silly twat?”

“It’s what I’d be doing.”

“Because you’re still a 12-year-old boy at heart.”

“Come on, you’re the one acting suspicious.” He pouts and threads his fingers with yours. “What are you doooooing?”

“Just reading. Stuff.”

“Reading what?” He presses. “Aaron Ramsey fanfiction?”

“Jesus Christ, are you always this annoying?”

“You’re the one who’s been with me for the past three years.” He reasons, which elicits a snort from you. Then he gasps, and looks at you in mock horror, “You must have bad taste. Unless- God forbid- you’re only with me for my money?”

It strikes a nerve and it’s as if he can read your mind, and instead of laughing in response, or firing back with another remark, you groan and cover your face with your hands. “Apparently, yes.” You mumble against your hands, and it comes out muffled and quiet.

“What?”

“Apparently, I’m only with you for your money.”

“According to who?”

“Um, 90% of your fans?”

“You know I don’t care about what other people say.” He insists. “If I listened to all the comments on my Instagram I would have retired about 3 years ago, because I apparently have the pace of a slow horse and can’t pass to save my life.”

“I know that, but- but…” You trail off, unable to properly quantify how you feel.

You weren’t even sure if you knew you felt, to be frank. On one hand, you didn’t care about what people on the internet were saying (as he had reasoned, “they didn’t know the real you”) but at the same time the thought of so many people thinking badly of you kind of made you want to cuddle up in bed with Gossip Girl and never leave your room again.

(You had always prided yourself on having a thick skin. But there was something about so many people believing such abhorrent lies and crafting this false image of you that was wearing away at your self-esteem and questioning how strong you thought you were in the first place.)

“Talk to me.” He says softly.

“I know they’re all just chatting shit, but…”

He presses a delicate kiss to your cheek and says softly, interrupting you, “But it doesn’t matter at all. I know you’re not really with me for my money, because if that’s all you were truly interested in you’d try it on with Mesut or Alexis, not me.”

It forces a smile and you suppress a laugh. Aaron continues, “Please don’t listen to what these people are saying. They don’t understand our relationship, and I know it sucks to read what they say but at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter.” He murmurs against your cheek, pressing his lips against your skin to punctuate each sentence. “Let them think what they want. Let them think that you’re a ruthless gold digger and that I’m stupid for believing you. Let them think that we’re superficial and boring and arrogant. The important things are that they’re not true and I don’t care.”

“I know, I know.” You sigh. “It’s just annoying that people are so quick to jump to conclusions and assume shit that isn’t true.”

“It’s not worth your time.” He smiles sympathetically and you exhale. “I know what you need.”

“If you say sex, I’m going to slap you, Aaron.”

“I was going to say Chinese takeaway.”

“That would be nice, too.”

“And a dance party in the kitchen.” He smiles at you smugly and he’s so confident and charming and able to make you smile regardless of how shitty you feel.

(And he’s in overwhelming agreement with you that kitchen dance parties are the perfect cure for everything.)

He pulls you to your feet and leads you by hand to your kitchen, his fingers skating over your knuckles and his face fixed with a smile. Aaron walks to plug his phone into the speakers, tapping the screen and walking up behind you again to wrap his arms around your waist. You feel him kiss your shoulder and his stubble graze your cheek and feel yourself relax instantly, the tension leaving your neck, as the speakers begin to blare ‘Gold Digger’ by Kanye West. 

“God I want to DIE.” You groan, and he laughs, a deep throaty chuckle that rumbles through his chest. “You’re not funny.”

“Can’t help it you’re a massive gold digger.” He murmurs, peppering your neck with light, delicate kisses. “And that I’m possibly the funniest man to ever come out of Wales.”

“Shut up.” You moan.

“Evidently you must be with me for the money, then. Have I hit a nerve?” You feel his teeth nip at your skin and your cheeks flush as your head lolls back in pleasure.

“Clearly just with you for the sex.” You smirk. “And-“

“And?” He effortlessly spins you around and grips one hand at your waist and the other on your bum.

He leans in and ghosts his lips over yours. He’s so close that you can see every pore and every eyelash and feel his breath over your lips, so close that you can feel his chest heaving against yours. “And even that’s subpar at best.” You whisper teasingly.

His eyes had closed just before your lips had met, expecting a sultry comment and an excuse to take you in his arms, but your sarcastic quip catches him off-guard. “What?”

“You heard me.” You sing-song.

“I hate you.” His arms wrap around your middle. “But you do have an ass like Serena.”

“Oh Kanye.” You sigh with a smile that he’s eager to return.

“My Kim.”

“I’m definitely more of a Kourtney.”

“Kim’s the one that got famous from sucking a celebrity’s dick though, so we’ll have to agree to disagree.”

“You are awful.”

“And you’re a gold digger. I guess we’re all unearthing new things today.”

“You learn something new every day.” 

And the way he’s looking at you, as if you hung the moon, eases all your stress and makes it all kind of worth it. They could call you a gold digger all they wanted because in the end, they’d at least got one thing right.

You’d definitely hit the jackpot.

 ---

A.N.: long time no post ........ finally wrote something for aaron ramsey!!!! not my favourite thing I’ve ever written but I hope you all liked it nevertheless!!!! also I played with the narrative/perspective that I write with and went with a ‘you’ rather than a ‘she’ (if that makes sense) so let me know what you think/if its worse than before/if I should play around with it and carry on using it etc.!!

songs I listened to when writing this and are kind of relevant:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gb0zSG0kwZ8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vwNcNOTVzY (obviously)

send in requests pls and come and say hi!!!! xxxxx <3

[come-join-themurder]

Obsessive - Part 4

The Reader finally faces her fear and goes home to see what’s going on in her apartment. What will she find? (This will be multi parts so check back for my next installment. As always, if you want to be notified of my updates just let me know and I will message you when I post new chapters) **Disclaimer: I do not suffer from OCD so I cannot begin to imagine what it is like. Any and everything that I am writing is what I’ve learned from people I know and the internet as well as asking advice from friends who know more about it than me. If anything is wrong or inaccurate of someone with OCD, please excuse my ignorance, as I said I am asking questions to help with the descriptions but I’m sure I will get something wrong eventually. Juice Ortiz x Reader 

(GIF isn’t mine)

____________________________ You pulled up to your apartment and took a deep breath, you had to get your nerves right before you went in or else the gun on your waist wasn’t going to help anything. You could hear your heartbeat, heavy and fast as you breathed deeply and slowly. Truth be told you were terrified of being inside your own home and your idiosyncrasies made it impossible for anyone to believe that your imagination wasn’t to blame for your anxiety. You walked up to the door and pulled the gun out of your jeans, flipping the safety off, closing your eyes and swallowing hard before putting your key in the lock and opening the door, gun drawn. Everything seemed normal. Lights were all off until you flipped on the light by the door, all the photos were placed exactly correct as if nothing had touched them at all. Maybe you were imagining things. You scoffed at yourself, setting the gun down on the table beside the door and walking over to your couch, plopping down on it and throwing your head back against the cushion. That’s when you heard it, the shuffling of shoes on carpet. It was coming from your bedroom but it was headed into the living room where you were. You bolted upright and stared to the hallway, waiting for something to appear as your heart was beating so hard your body was shaking and you could feel the tears begin to prickle against the backs of your eyes while you tried to form a coherent thought or do something other than sit frozen on your shitty grey couch. Apparently you had neither a fight nor a flight response, you just had a sit still and die response as you screamed internally at yourself to do something. In a matter of only seconds, that seemed like hours, a figure appeared in the same room as you, definitely male, but clothed from head to toe and the scumbag had a pair of your pantyhose on his head to mask his face. Immediately you were aware of the fact that your gun was not with you and your eyes darted to the table by the door and so did his. You had to move. You jumped up, racing him to the table where your gun was placed and winning, grabbing the gun whirling around, pointing it out just in time to stand face-to-face with him and pull the trigger. Click. You were so caught up in checking the safety when you got to your door that you had completely forgotten to chamber a round into the damn thing. You both stared at each other for a moment before he grabbed the barrel of the gun and jerked it away from you, striking you heavily with the butt of the gun, sending you down, hard, to the floor below you. You saw the gun fall beside you and the door open, his boots rushing out of your apartment before something wet, that you couldn’t yet identify as blood, began pooling in your eye, your vision blurring as you blacked out, blood dripping down your face. You came to an hour later. Your memory of the events that had transpired all came back to you powerfully and you jumped to your feet, a mistake you quickly regretted as your head began to spin and your splitting headache almost sent you back to the ground. You realized that your phone had been ringing and you stumbled over to it, reaching down to pick it up. You looked up at the photos on your wall, seeing your reflection in one of them and noticing the huge gash on your temple. You began to freak out and feel light-headed as you flipped your phone over to look at the caller ID, it was Juice. Trying to form a coherent thought, you picked up the phone, holding it to your ear and managing to squeak out a 'hello'. "Hey, you sound awful is everything ok? I was just calling to check on you, I heard about you sleeping over at Jax's last night." You began to cry, not responding to Juice's words, as the pain in your head started to set in and intensified. "Whoa, hey, (Y/N), what's wrong?" he sounded extremely worried and you could hear him stand up from wherever he was sitting and begin to walk somewhere. "C-can you come pick me up in the truck, I...I need to see Chibs," you stammered, sitting down and closing your eyes. "Yeah absolutely I'm on my way now. Sit tight," he said before the line went dead and you pulled your shirt off over your head to wad it up and press it against your wound to stop the bleeding. Ten minutes later you heard a knock on your door and you started to stand up to open it when Juice walked in. You guessed your intruder didn't bother to lock the door behind him when you left. Juice's eyes fell to the floor in front of him where the blood spot was staining the floor beside your loaded pistol before frantically looking up at you to see you sitting on the couch holding the tee-shirt rag to your forehead. "Jesus Christ!" he gasped rushing to your side, "What happened?!" "Someone was in here..." you trailed off, tears filling your eyes again. "We can talk about it later," he assured you, patting your leg and wrapping an arm around you, "let's get you to the clubhouse." He stood up and walked into your bedroom, returning with a jacket that he handed to you and you put it on, zipping it up to cover your bare stomach and bra before allowing him to help you stand. He walked you out to the truck and set you inside, pulling out his phone, dialing it and putting it up to his ear. "Chibs, can you meet me at the clubhouse?" he spoke into the phone. "I'm with (Y/N) and she needs stitches brother. I'm bringing her there now." "Yeah we'll be there in like, 5..10 minutes tops." "Alright," he hung up the phone and looked at you, taking a deep breath, "Chibs is going to meet us," he said reassuringly and you nodded, resting your head back against the seat and closing your eyes. Feeling weak, you fell asleep in the short ride back.