#learn N earn company reviews

[learnandearncompanyfeedback]

Learn N Earn Company A Closer Look at Customer Reviews and Testimonials

Learn and Earn companies offer flexible online learning opportunities that allow individuals to acquire skills and generate income. They provide accessible education through diverse course offerings that can be completed at one's own pace. These companies equip learners with practical skills sought by employers and give opportunities to monetize new skills through freelancing, affiliate marketing, or selling digital products. By combining learning and income generation, Learn and Earn companies empower individuals for personal and professional growth.

https://www.slideshare.net/slideshow/learn-n-earn-company-a-closer-look-at-customer-reviews-and-testimonials-1pdf/262824887

[learnnearn669878]

Why Skill Development Important to the Employee and Organization

Skill development is essential for any organization that wants to thrive. The "Learn N Earn" philosophy shows that continuous learning benefits employees and the company. By improving performance, organizations can ensure long-term success. Investing in skill development is investing in the future of both the employees and the organization. Take the next step in your career journey with Learn N Earn and unlock your full potential

[learnnearn12]

Empower Your Career Journey: Skill Enhancement with Learn N Earn

Learn N Earn emerges as a transformative force, empowering your career journey through skill enhancement. By providing tailored learning paths, emphasizing practical application, offering industry-relevant courses, promoting mentorship, and introducing the concept of earning while learning, Learn N Earn sets the stage for a new era of career development. It's not just about acquiring skills; it's about embarking on a journey that leads to a fulfilling and successful professional life. Visit Learn N Earn to explore resources and courses that can guide you on your journey to becoming the best version of yourself.

[tobesolonely]

i hope you enjoy! Please let me know what you think!

harry is y/n's boss, and he's also a super rich ceo :)

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Y/N never planned on becoming a personal assistant.

In fact, she wasn’t sure what she wanted to do with her life. College was enlightening because she was having a good time learning a little bit of everything, but it was almost…too much. How was she supposed to settle on just one career when the world was filled with so many different  opportunities? 

So while working as a personal assistant was never a part of her life’s plans, the older Y/N got the more she realized that life is funny sometimes and try as she might, it’s impossible to plan for everything. Besides, working as a personal assistant for an extremely successful (and surprisingly kind) CEO did have its perks. The pay, for starters, was better than anything she would’ve earned anywhere else working three times as hard, and not to mention the flexibility he allowed her was unheard of.

Thus, Y/N earned extra money working for Mr. Harry Styles when she wasn’t busy with class or school work, and in return, he paid her fairly and treated her with graciousness - he even bought her dinner sometimes and ate it with her late at night in his office when they were spending time combing through files and reviewing reports. He was a fair boss and always understanding whenever she told him she had more work than anticipated and wouldn’t be able to go in to help that day. According to Harry, she was a student first, and an assistant second, so he never pressured her to put the company above her studies. 

Being Mr. Styles' personal assistant involved lots of calls, setting up meetings, and checking his spreadsheets and productivity reports. Occasionally she'd do the whole “run-and-get-his-coffee” thing, but that didn't happen often - and when he did, he always made sure to buy for Y/N as well. 

“Miss Y/L/N? Could you come to my office when you get a free moment, please?”

The sound of Harry’s voice crackles through the intercom in Y/N’s tiny space, a room adjoining his own office. Additionally, it functioned as a waiting room of sorts when people were meeting with the boss. Y/N enjoyed surveying the expressions on her co-workers' faces whenever they met with Mr. Styles. Everyone always seemed so nervous and Y/N couldn’t figure out why. Was he not as nice to everyone else as he was to her? 

“Sure thing,” she holds down on the button beside the speaker as she relays her response. “Is there anything I can bring you beforehand?” The button is released as she awaits his answer. It comes immediately.

“That’s alright, Y/N. I just need your help reviewing something. Won’t take long.”

Y/N ignores the flutter she feels in her tummy when Harry calls her by her first name. He didn’t do it often but sometimes he did, and she couldn’t deny she liked the way it sounded rolling off his tongue. 

“Be right there, Mr. Styles.”

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

“Do these numbers look…odd to you?”

Y/N leans forward in her seat across from Harry as he turns his large monitor screen to face her. She’s faced with a busy spreadsheet filled with numbers, and a confused expression quickly overcomes her features. 

“What numbers am I looking at, sir?” Y/N can’t help the heat that begins to flood her face. “‘M not too familiar with Excel…know I probably should be seeing that I’m an assistant and all that but-”

“It’s fine,” Harry cuts her off with a small smile on his face. “It’s a busy document. I could’ve been more clear - I was referring to the bolded numbers. They’re smaller than last month’s, do you agree?”

With her attention now directed to the right part of the document, Y/N examines the numbers as she tries to think back to last month’s revenue. While it differed, she didn’t think it was significant. Then again, she wasn’t the one running a multimillion-dollar company.

“I see how there’s a bit of discrepancy. I can double-check and look through all of the documents to ensure everything has been accounted for if you’d like, sir.” Y/N watches as her boss’s shoulders noticeably slump in relief.

“Could you do that?” His tone is hopeful, eager. “I mean, do you have the time? I’m already running late to a meeting that I sent the Zoom link for, gotta hop on and get a handle on that…”

For the first time since Y/N began working for Mr. Styles, she senses that he’s overwhelmed. He’s usually so calm and carefree, much more carefree than she imagines she would be with such big responsibilities, but right now he seems…tense. Upset.

“I just need to get a confirmation for that event you’re speaking at next week and then I can do it.”

“I owe you dinner. Thank you, Miss Y/L/N,” he gives her a pointed look. “I’ll share the spreadsheet and documents from the previous and current months with you, and you can let me know if I missed anything.”

Even though Harry’s bought her dinner more times than she can even count before, something feels different about the way he says it this time. She has to look down so he doesn’t see the sheepish look on her face. 

“I’ll be right next door if you need me.”

Harry grins. “I know.”

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

As it turns out, Harry did make a mistake.

It wasn’t a big deal and easily fixable but man was he grateful to her.  No one made Y/N feel smarter and more appreciative of her being there than Mr. Styles. 

“That’s great, really,” Harry tells her for at least the third time in ten minutes. “I would’ve never caught that. Never! ‘M not ashamed to admit a second set of eyes is always helpful - at least for me.”

Y/N looks down to hide her timidness. She loves praise, but it still makes her shy! “Well, thank you, Mr. Styles. I know you have like, actual people for this…” she pauses as she shifts from foot to foot. “But if you ever just want me to take a quick peek ‘cause I’m right next door, I don’t mind.”

Harry gives Y/N a look she can't quite discern before speaking again. “I think I'll be taking you up on that. Why don't you take the rest of the day off? Already helped me out so much today, don't you still have that project you need to finish up for your class?”

“Are you sure?” She gives her boss a puzzled look. “I have, like, a ton of work left to do here.” 

“Someone else can do it,” he flashes her a warm, dimpled smile. “It's fine, Miss Y/L/N. School first, remember what I always say.” 

Y/N ignores the sensation she feels in her belly from Harry’s stern tone of voice. “Yes sir. I….thank you. I appreciate it. I can make up the time and stay later tomorrow-”

“That won’t be necessary,” Harry straightens a stack of papers on his desk. “Same time tomorrow, or will you be coming in a bit later?” 

“Can I let you know tomorrow? It depends on how much of my project I finish tonight.”

“That works. Please get home safe, Miss Y/L/N. Try and enjoy the rest of your day.” 

“Thank you,” Y/N quietly responds.  When she turns to exit his office, she hesitates before turning back to him. “Are you gonna leave soon too?” She hoped she wasn't overstepping by asking. 

Harry lets out a quiet laugh. “Hopefully. I have one more meeting, and have to make sure everything is ready for a deal we're closing on tomorrow.” 

“Okay…well, see you tomorrow,” she pauses before quickly adding. “I hope your night doesn't run too late.” 

“Me too. Thanks, Y/N.” 

Harry looks back down at his work, and Y/N takes that as her cue to leave. She gently shuts the door behind her and lets out a breath she didn't even realize she was holding once back in the privacy of her own office. Y/N felt so flustered! The fact that Harry was allowing her to leave early so she could finish her homework didn't surprise her - it wasn't the first time he did it, and it wouldn't be the last. She was mainly just surprised Harry even remembered she had a project! Y/N mentioned it to him once briefly last week when she first had assigned it and said nothing else about it. To know that he remembered and was concerned about her finishing it on time made her feel…cared for. 

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Y/N is drowning.

As it would turn out, her project was turning out to be a lot more time-consuming than she initially anticipated. She had to write a research essay and create an infographic to supplement it, and she was still stuck on the research part! She’d been working on it for hours– ever since she finished class at 10 am, but now the time was after 1 pm and she needed to be to work in an hour. Even though Harry always told her school came first, she wanted to be a good employee for him! She already left work early yesterday - she couldn’t skip out on her shift. Y/N realized she was an…untraditional employee, and she didn’t want to be fired so Harry could have an assistant with more availability. He always told her he appreciated her help whenever she gave it, but she still couldn’t help feeling like she didn’t do enough. She flings those thoughts to the side as she refocuses her attention on her work. 

Y/N falls so deep down the Google rabbit hole that she doesn’t realize the amount of time that’s passed until her phone is ringing. The name “MR. STYLES” lights up her phone and she curses under her breath as she realizes she was supposed to be at the office nearly 30 minutes ago. She picks up and immediately begins apologizing. 

“Mr. Styles! I’m so sorry, I lost track of time because I’m just so overwhelmed with this project and it’s not really going that well but I can be there in twenty minutes, I promise!”

There’s a small pause on the line before Harry replies. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

His answer takes Y/N aback. The last thing she was expecting was for her busy boss to offer up his assistance with a trivial college research project. “But…don’t you have, like, work to do?”

“I always have work to do, Miss Y/L/N,” he answers nonchalantly. “It can wait. I am the boss, after all. Why don’t you come in and let me take a look?”

Y/N’s hesitant, not wanting to bother Harry with something he was so far removed from such as her college assignments, but he was offering, and well…two heads were better than one. So Y/N tells him she’ll be there shortly, thanks him again profusely, and ends the call. She sits unmoving on her couch for a second after hanging up, trying to ignore the fluttering feeling in her tummy. Mr. Styles wanted to help her! With school work! It made her dizzy to think about it for too long. She finally stands to gather her things, trying to stick to her promise of arriving as quickly as possible–Y/N figures she’s already kept him waiting long enough.

She makes it to the office fairly quickly, greeting the front desk staff as she walks through the lobby. Harry’s corner office was located on the very top floor of the 20-story building. It was quite the view. Y/N sets her tote bag down on her desk before taking out her laptop and notebook filled with information pertaining to her project. She takes a deep breath before knocking on the door connecting her office with Harry’s. He lets out a quick, “Come in!” to which Y/N complies, letting herself in.

Harry looks up from his computer once she enters the room, his hard gaze immediately softening. “Oh, Y/N. You look so tense. Come sit, let me see what we’re working with.”

“I’ve got a bulk of the research done,” Y/N mutters quietly as she pulls back the chair from his desk. “I’m just having a tricky time organizing my thoughts.” She slides her open notebook across the table at him, watching anxiously as he reads over her tiny scrawl. After reading over her work in silence for a couple of minutes, he clears his throat and speaks.

“Is it just me, or have school assignments become enormously mundane?” his brow furrows in confusion. “A research paper and an infographic? Bit of an overkill, hm?”

“That’s what I said,” Y/N shakes her head in disgust. “Everything on my infographic is coming straight from my paper, anyway!”

“How about I start making an outline for your paper?” He looks down at the notebook again. “I think I can see where you're going with this. ‘M not very creative though, maybe you can get started on your infographic.”

“You could do that for me?” 

“After all you've done for me?” Harry sucks his teeth. “C’mon. I'm no monster, Y/N.” He flashes her a dimpled grin. 

“Thank you,” Y/N says for what had to be the hundredth time that day. “Anything helps, Mr. Styles. I owe you one.”

Harry waves his hand dismissively. “None of that. Would you like to work here, or are you going back to your office?”

Y/N looks down at her clammy hands folded in her lap. “If you don't mind, can I stay here? Just so you can ask me questions about my work if you have any?”

“I think that's a wonderful idea,” he tilts his head curiously at her. “Have you eaten today? I was thinking of ordering something. Does Thai sound good?” 

“Oh, I had banana pancakes this morning before class,” she bites her lip. “I'm okay.” 

“Nonsense. It's already past three,” he opens his desk drawer and pulls out a take-out menu. “This place is great - I'm a regular. Let me know what you'd like. I always get the basil stir fry.”

Y/N wordlessly takes the menu and reviews it for a few moments before settling on a crispy tofu dish. Once their order is called in, Harry locks his phone and places his attention back on Y/N.

“Someone will bring that up to us when it gets here. Let's get started, shall we?”

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Harry’s the first one to break their comfortable silence. 

He pushes his glasses up on his nose, clearing his throat. “What do you think about this, Y/N?” He turns his monitor toward Y/N so she can see what he’s doing. He has a neatly organized outline, bullet pointed and everything.

“I think it looks really good,” Y/N says with a nod of her head. “The bullet points look like they’ll be easy to follow. Thank you for your help."

“I like helping you. You help me all the time.” Harry says this so matter-of-fact, as if he were stating the sky was blue. He wordlessly turns back to the document he has open, beginning to type again. They’re interrupted twenty short minutes later by a knock on the door.

“Come in.” Harry calls out curtly. The door opens and in walks someone Y/N recognizes from the accounting department.

“Mr. Styles, I have those reports you needed finished. Would you like to review them?”

“Not now,” he responds immediately. “I’m busy.”

The accountant has a look of what she assumes to be slight annoyance on his face. She wonders if Harry catches it. “I’ve been trying to go over these things with you for nearly a week, sir...it needs to be signed off on and submitted.”

“It’ll have to wait, Mitch.”

Harry’s answers are short, and it’s obvious he’s not in the mood to talk about work. The accountant opens his mouth like he wants to say something else, but stops himself, turning to leave instead. Harry doesn’t seem perturbed at all, but Y/N feels bad! Was Mr. Styles putting off work to help her?

“Okay, sir,” the accountant turns to place his hand on the doorknob. “Perhaps we can review tomorrow?”

“Perhaps.”

The accountant opens his mouth as if he’s going to say something but he decides against it, deciding to just leave instead. After a somewhat awkward silence, Y/N breaks it.

“Thank you for helping me again. I know I keep saying that, but I know you’re really, really busy.”

“Again, I like helping you," he pauses. “Why don’t we call it a night now? I’m sure you’ll do more work when you get home anyway.”

Y/N nods at this and grabs her notebook from in front of Harry, shutting her laptop. "Thank you again."

"Let me walk you out. I'm going that way too."

Y/N walks through the door to her own office and gathers her bag, slipping her laptop inside. She turns around to find Harry standing in the doorway giving her an expectant look.

"Ready?"

They enter the elevator together and Harry presses the first floor button, pressing his back against the wall. Y/N does the same. As the elevator descends to the first floor, Y/N feels Harry’s eyes on her but she doesn’t turn to look at him. Once the elevators open, they exit the elevator and make their way towards the parking lot.

“My car’s on this level,” Y/N tells Harry, exiting the elevator. “Thank you for walking me with me, Mr. Styles.”

“Of course. Same time tomorrow?”

“I’d like that,” Y/N gives Harry a bashful smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Mr. Styles.”

With that, Harry gives her a small grin as the elevator doors are closing. “Wouldn’t miss it.”

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Please let me know what you think! Part 2 soon :)

[atxxzist]

broken | c.s (final)

prev // series m.list

pairing: choi san x reader

word count: 13.5k

warning: nothing i can think of but lmk

"you did it once again!" arin squeaks, the excitement in her tone louder than the overwhelming joy you're feeling, only able to stare in awe at the sight before you.

your picture right under the employee of the month for the second time in a row.

"i guess i did," you reply, a confident smile resting on your lips as your chest drops in relief.

it took a lot of time and so much work in order for you to come around and accept the idea that you are good at what you do. that every compliment wasn't just because they pitied or felt bad for you, but because you genuinely deserved it.

it took even longer to come to terms with the fact that despite growing up the way you did, your youth filled with absent parents and a home and family with no love, you are so much more than that.

you are so much more than the traumas and broken pieces in your life, and you're not just a weak, timid girl with a haunted past and a wounded heart.

even if your parents didn't love you, and the only boy who you gave your heart to broke it, those things doesn't define you as much as the belief and faith you have in yourself.

all the sessions of sitting in your therapist's office, crying, spilling your soul and guts out, and trying to believe her when she'd tell you none of it is your fault, whether your parents or the romantic partners you had.

it's worth it because you came out so much better in the end, your mindset almost completely rewired to the point you can't believe how vulnerable you once were.

how, you used to believe every lies so easily, it flying over your head and always giving people the benefits of the doubt when they didn't deserve it.

always such a pushover and so fearful, unconfident at anything, it's hard to wrap your head around the fact you lived for almost nineteen years without medication or guidance when you were on edge and close to breaking down at all time.

but regardless, you did it. you got help and unlearned some, and then had to learn a lot so you could be the person you are today. no longer doubtful of yourself and your abilities, and unwilling to let just anybody step all over you.

it's that mentality that got you this far despite also still being the very same girl from five years ago who's still naive in some ways, and with so many more things to learn and overcome.

"y/n," arin calls, sneaking half her body into your cubicle with a stack of papers in her hold, prompting you to spin the chair around to face her.

"the team's going out to eat after work. it is our treat to you."

"sounds good," you reply, pleased by the offer you wouldn't ever deny. "see you in about 20?"

"yes." she bobs her head. "we're getting barbecue, by the way."

life had been an array of ups and downs, everything not always smooth sailing and hitting many bumps on the road here. from you and yuna joining hands together in making a children's book with her being the illustrator but unable to commit to the idea, to getting ignored or rejected the first 40 or so applications until someone finally found your resume impressive because you didn't want to just rely on other people.

no matter how good yuna's offer was, talking about how she could get you a position in her uncle's company and how bad you wanted to take it because it would've spared you the stress of having to search for a job yourself, you knew you couldn't.

you wanted to earn it and be proud it was through your own efforts.

the rejections humbled you in some ways, and made you stronger in others, stopping at nothing until you finally got the first email that you've been accepted by a makeup brand as their content writer.

the brand, velvetie, had only been out for about a year by the time of your employment and was still fairly small and experimental. now, the brand is known for their lines of lip tints that are labeled soft, smooth, and long-lasting by reviewers, the creations only getting more popular by days as it's just now being praised by actors and idols alike.

you didn't at all imagined this to be the job you'd wind up with, nor did you think you'd turn out liking it, the creative writing degree and your history speaking for itself, but you're happy where you ended up and happy to still be writing in general.

the marketing team you're in, a small but comfortable circle where you've come to love and grow fond of the people you're working with, sharing the same space for a few hours a day and understanding all too well the struggles of meeting deadlines or running into a creative dry spell.

arin, who you're closest to and have known the longest, is who you met in your last semester of sophomore year after making the mistake of taking calculus as an elective while she was taking it as requirement for her business major.

besides the obvious hatred for calculus the two of you shared, it was unusual how quick a friendship came to blossom, never in your life have you felt such a natural bond to anyone. not even mingi, you've already told that story countless times, how it took awhile.

but it was so easy talking to her, your reserved and hesitant personality the perfect one to her more outgoing and friendly nature, you two clicked instantly, it was crazy.

she not only became one of your best friends, but also a part of your everyday life.

"you're completely drunk," you comment, finally pulling your friend's butt off the seat when everyone else finally left.

she hurls out a groan and leans on you slightly, her alcohol breath incredibly intoxicating and is the sole reason why you often rethink the choice of saying yes when you hate taking care of a drunk arin.

"i'm good," she attempts to say but her words are slurred as she tries regaining her balance and striving a few steps forward but you're quick to assist her again because you know she's gonna fall.

"come on, let's get you a cab," you say at the same time walking out with her sluggish body, stopping just right outside the restaurant.

"no. let me go home with you."

you raise an eyebrow at your friend, her head on your shoulder and appearing unconscious but the response just now registering her more aware than you think, because you know the girl, and you know she won't ever pass up the opportunity to visit her boyfriend.

a few months ago when you finally made the big decison to move out after sharing a tiny apartment with mingi for over a year, you had no idea that the new place, a modern-esque two bedroom apartment, would be under the same building as arin's boyfriend, and just right down from the hall to be precise.

you've met him a couple times and of course, he's handsome and wonderful and treats her just right, but you definitely did not apartment hunt with him in mind, so what were the chances.

at least for arin, it made everything all more convenient. her boyfriend in one place and her best friend just two doors down as she'd hop from one to another like it's halloween.

but in spite of her protests along the shared ride because you also shouldn't be driving, your conscious tipsy, you tell the driver to pull up at her place, not at all concerned about the abandoned cars because you'll just pick it up tomorrow, with the restaurant and your workplace a walking distance.

"but the dinner tomorrow, you're still coming, right?" your friend turns to you, her lazy eyes squinting as she awaits an answer.

"yes. we'll talk more about it tomorrow."

you insist on helping her walk to the door, afraid she might hit the cement before she'll even make it, but she assures she got it. still, you watch through the window as she fiddles with the keys until unlocking and disappearing inside.

once you're home, all you want to do is hit the bed. maybe put on a show in the background and just doze off to it, but you have to wash off the sweats and grime of today; get cleaned up and dry before settling on your mattress comfortably.

the ding from your phone you've placed on the nightstand after going the entire day of being on silent is what grabs your attention, your neck snapping to the lit-up screen, checking the bundle of messages you missed out on.

4:43 p.m.

kwak yuna: guys! florence is so beautiful!

kwak yuna: *attachment*

song minGi: beautiful for sure, but would be even better in person 🙄

kwak yuna: i told you guys that we should take a trip and i'll pay for half of it, but y'all always too busy to do anything 🙄💅

song minGi: yeah cuz we have something called being poor & have to keep up with jobs and responsibilities. we don't have mommy's and daddy's limitless money to live off of

kwak yuna: stfu 🖕

song minGi: 😜

lee minJi: he's so jealous fr

song minGi: that, i am. i too wish i was in italy rn

jeong yunho: but we really need to catch up soon. how does seoul sound in about a month from now?

kwak yuna: i can do that. starting to really miss home anyways.

jeong yunho: yeah, me and minji can make a trip there as well

song minGi: sounds good to me. now, we just wait for the other two, which is gonna be a good few years

jeong yunho: y/n has her phone on silence during work

song minGi: and yeosang's too good for the rest of us

jeong yunho: pfft

you giggle and roll your eyes the entire time reading through it, checking the latest message that prompted the notification and seeing it was from yuna.

it only makes sense given it's probably still early for her because of the time zone difference.

9:51 p.m.

kwak yuna: no one cares but this is the outfit i'm wearing for today. it's almost 1pm and i'll be heading to the gallery soon.

kwak yuna: *attachment*

song minGi: you're right, no one cares

y/n: in about a month sounds good to me, and seoul sounds even better. i won't have to do any traveling lol. also @ kwak yuna the outfit is super cute! i love the beret! 💕 and @song minGi you're literally annoying 🥱

song minGi: omg jumpscare! she's here to yell @ me

y/n: yessir

kwak yuna: omg y/n! hi!!!!

y/n: hi 🤭

y/n: had my phone on silence and then went out with my coworkers after. but yes, i miss you guys a lot. let's crash at my place next time!

kwak yuna: yes! i'll bring the booze!

song minGi: make sure it's the expensive kind

y/n: that's it, guys. have to sleep. goodnight! 🌙

before you go to set the alarms and really turn off your phone for the night, you catch just a glimpse of mingi's and yuna's conversation, the brief mention of yeosang before it all turns to fun banters again.

of course, most of the works were because of your own efforts and determination in wanting to get better. but the process would've been so much harder had it not been for the friends and support by your side.

the ones who believed in you when you didn't even believe in yourself, and the ones who gave you words of encouragement one after another, and was just there for you through it all.

a few years ago, you didn't think it was even possible to be without mingi or yunho. without their guidance or assistance because then you'd feel so out of place, lost, and completely confused.

but now, you're cities apart from them, and is surviving and doing absolutely okay.

they were so happy when you told them about arin; how alike but also different you two are, and how comfortable everything is with her, because they could rest assured that when they were no longer by your side, you'd be in good hands.

but even if without arin, they had faith in that you could do it by yourself. you'd grown so much within the past years and had no doubts you'd be fine.

they knew they couldn't be with you forever. not all the time at least. eventually, dreams and ambitions will take one of you from the others until you're all in different places one day, and they wanted you to be ready for that.

and it did. yunho sooner than mingi because as soon as he graduated, he followed his heart and moved to busan with minji, his girlfriend, and has been there since.

mingi on the other hand, lived under the same roof as you for a little over a year, attempting to do something with his psychology degree and earn his teaching credentials before moving back to the quiet town to be closer to his parents. he missed them.

who would've ever thought that out of the three, you would be the one who chose to stay back in the bigger city of strobing lights, loud commotions, and a big population when you were anything but that once upon a time.

so you're all in different places.

not just mingi and yunho, but yuna also traveling the world just like she dreamed of. traveling the continents so she can see the beauty the world has to offer; replicate it in her arts and visiting galleries and museums for more knowledge and inspirations.

you're happy for her.

the only person still in town is yeosang, but even he's not entirely reachable, if at all. he's the least active in the group chat and you can't recall the last time you had a proper conversation with him.

he's incredibly busy, you understand.

last you heard, he's juggling the tech job he got during his senior year, along with his master's at seoul national.

you knew someone like yeosang was always destined for greatness and his current standing doesn't fall any short of it. that he was always meant to go to a competitive university and get offered a great job because he's truly gifted and exceptional.

unable to dwell on any more thoughts, you close your eyes and let the weight of today take over, falling into a deep slumber.

waking up and getting ready for work is a repetitive routine.

first, making yourself a nice cup of coffee before getting dressed up and doing your hair, grabbing all necessary files and anything essential before calling a cab because you left your car at the company's parking lot yesterday.

the company's building is mostly in white, the only splash of other colors is the logo in pink plastered right at the front for everyone to see as they enter.

you swipe your id card and head upstairs to your designated working space, surprise to see arin already at hers before you.

"morning," she coos, her early tone friendly as you pass by her cubicle.

"morning," you reply, voice still tired and drowsy to a point, but your friend's perfectly fine appearance has you questioning, "hangover?"

"nope." she shakes her head. "i'm surprisingly fine, and excited for the dinner tonight. i hope you haven't forgotten."

"i haven't, because you've only reminded me like 50 times."

she giggles, a satisfied smile on.

"okay, good. i'll see you during break."

~

"so what exactly is this dinner about?" you ask your friend, seated in the break room right across from each other, the question stopping her from shoving a sandwich down her throat.

the entire week of her bringing up the 'dinner' event and annoying you with it, she never emphasized on what exactly it means. and dinner in the presence of her boyfriend and his apartment, to be exact.

"i don't understand why you'd want to invite me? i mean, shouldn't you guys be spending time alone?" you add on, confused.

"shhh," she shushes you, index finger at her lips and swirling out an exaggerated sigh, "you don't need to know anything for now. just get dressed up and get pretty, okay?"

she ends it with a calming smile, diving right back into her food as you stare at her with daggers.

you swear, if this is another of her attempt at setting you up on a date, you're so not gonna forgive her for it. it will be the third time, to speak.

the third time that you'll have to explain to her why you're not interested and why it didn't work out with you being completely married to your job and just not ready for the next step.

that no matter how fun and exciting the idea of a double date and hanging together is, it is not a priority for you. at least for now.

nonetheless, you get ready, throwing on a casual enough off shoulder ruffle dress that still looks presentable and like you at least tried, along with a pair of flat sandals.

you think that maybe, there's a chance tonight you're all just gonna eat dinner, probably play a game or two after and even catch a late night movie because arin just wants to hang with her boyfriend and best friend.

that you've drilled it enough time in her head that you're not looking for a romantic interest for her to know to not try to persuade you.

a text from her telling you to come when you're ready is what gets you up from the couch, checking your hair just once in the small mirror before heading down the hall and placing two knocks at the door.

your body and nerves still calm one second, and suddenly the next when the frame comes apart to unveil the person behind it and standing before you, you second guess if you're at the right place and time.

if this is some alternate universe where you're seeing things, or if reality is really so cruel to put you through this.

you've come so far and thought you had conquered most of your fears and hauntings, but all it's taking for your palms to start sweating again and feet with the urge to run to safety, is one of your past showing its head and waddling back into your life.

he's as equally surprised and confused, staring at you like he didn't expect this as well, and time stretches on when you two just gawk at each other like a dramatic scene from a movie.

his appalled expression as his eyes enlarges is disgustingly endearing, and you hate the way your body reacts to it.

hate that he looks even better than the last time, his hair now more refined and there's something more mature and manly about his style.

he's in a suit and no longer looks like a college fratboy that enjoys breaking hearts just for fun.

hate that you haven't seen him in practically five years and everything still feels so familiar; all his features so instantly recognizable that you can still imagine the way his lips feel on yours, and how cute dimples would pop out of his cheeks when he smiles.

hate that everything's coming back all at once; when time used to stop and when it was still hard to breathe.

when a beating heart was usually followed by swarm of butterflies in your stomach that you haven't felt in years, and now the sight of him in front triggering the sensation once again.

and you hate the fact that no matter how much pain he had put you through, or how many times he had hurt you to the point you were so sure you were over him, there's a certain fondness you have for him and a special place in your heart that reacts with familiarity.

it feels like the world stopped spinning and everything in the background turning blurry just for the few seconds you two meet again for the first time, although it feels like forever.

"hey, y/n!" yeonjun's voice snaps you back, your gaze skipping over san's shoulder to your friend's boyfriend and you loathe it even more that none of it is a mistake.

that you didn't just happen to wander into the wrong apartment or something.

that the universe is really so unfair and cruel and setting you up for the worst by crossing paths with san again.

"come on in!" he ushers, his tone happy and excited the way you know yeonjun always is, him and your friend completely ignorant to the bubbling tension between you and the boy still standing before you.

you just nod in return, san moving out of the way awkwardly as you finally step in and roam the interior as if you haven't already seen it, trying your best to focus on anything else but the person raising the hair at the back of your neck.

the closing of the door is heard the same time yeonjun switches to introduce you to one another, and you both just humming and bowing with acknowledgement.

act as if this is the first time meeting each other. as if there isn't a history that played a signifcant part in shaping the two of you in becoming the people you are today, and now landing in this situation by some odd twisted fate.

arin and yeonjun just laughing off the awkward and bumbling exchange, brushing it off as no more than two strangers new to each other and moving it to the dining table.

"let's eat first. perfect opportunity to learn about each other," your friend speaks, and all that is going through your mind is which is worse: sitting next to san or across from him. you think the latter.

but the former isn't any better with arin and yeonjun watching the both of you like hawks, unaware that the reason you're both not speaking to each other isn't because of shyness or unfamiliarity.

but they do notice something isn't right; that there might another reason up in the air why the both of you can barely look at each other.

yeonjun with how bold and confident san tends to be, the boy always approaching everything so smugly. and arin in the entirety of knowing you, never had seen you look so tense.

she wasn't gonna do it at first. knows and understands how much you've been telling her it's never gonna work out, the two guys she connected you with from before ending in complete disaster.

but she just couldn't help it this time when her boyfriend started talking about his friend he met in the states finally flying to korea and will be staying with him for a couple of days.

and she especially couldn't help it when she learned he's not only incredibly handsome but also single.

she figured she was doing you a favor, but by the look of your face and body language right now, white in complexion like you just saw a ghost, she thinks you're totally gonna yell at her for this.

"i uhm, i gotta use the restroom," you speak up, lying through your teeth and san can't even blame you for it, honestly even relieved you're the one to initiate.

you wobble the entire way to the bathroom, your legs shaky and your stomach starting to become upset but your chest dropping slightly when you sit on the edge of the bathtub, glad to just be away.

you were doing so good. you were.

you hadn't thought of him in forever and now he just shows up out of nowhere, not even just as a stranger, but as the friend of your friend's boyfriend?

what sick joke is reality trying to play on you right now?

"y/n?" arin's sweet and concerned voice calls from the other side as you attempt to gather yourself to face your friend. tell her why you can't be here and make up something in hope you can leave.

"hey," you say lowly after prying the door open, a forced smile on your lips which arin doesn't buy into.

"you okay?"

"i'm alright. i just... don't feel so good right now," is your excuse, just praying she doesn't start questioning now, because you're not exactly in the time or place to explain everything between you and san.

all the heartbreaks and betrayals, and why you cannot stay here any longer or you'll really break.

"do you want to go home, or?" she's the one to bring up the idea, and you're thankful because you didn't want to be that person.

didn't want to have to break it to her and end the night so soon given how much she's talked about the day, and all the planning and preparation that yeonjun must've put in.

"yeah, i think it's best if i do," you answer, guilt present in your eyes, "i'm sorry i couldn't stay any longer. you guys probably worked hard on dinner."

arin snickers and shakes her head, the reassuring smile on her helps in dissipating some of the guilt.

"don't worry about it. you go ahead, i'll tell yeonjun."

she isn't gonna fight you on it. not when she's never seen you this way, coming off uneasy and absolutely troubled, she's gonna have to get down to the root of it tomorrow.

but for now, she just knows you need to be away.

you barely manage to make it to the door the stealthiest you can, bidding a weak goodbye to yeonjun and zooming out that instant, the frame shut right behind you and your shoulders dropping from the built up suffocation.

you proceed to your apartment, pushing past everything with a thumping heart until you're sitting at the edge of your bed, going on to do the one thing you always do when it's just all too overwhelming--

"mingi, you're not gonna believe this."

you can hear his protests of groans and sighs from the other side, so in character of him because this is usually his nap time.

"i just saw san."

the commotion is loud, the shuffling of body as he sits himself up and tries regaining conscious just to make sure he's not tripping out.

"you're forreal?" he remarks, sounding a lot more awake but still unconvinced.

"yes. he's yeonjun's friend and i don't even know how the fuck they knew each other or why he's here. all i know is arin needs to give up on trying to find me a date," you say in disbelief, recalling the last guy you went out with who left you feeling extremely disrespected and insulted after, and you thought the next one couldn't possibly be any worse.

"wait. so let me get this straight. you two met again because you're friend with arin and he's friend with yeonjun, and arin and yeonjun are dating?"

"yes."

"and yeonjun and you just happen to live under the same complex?"

"well, yes."

"what in the soulmate fuckery is this?"

"pfft," you scoff, throwing your head back into the soft mattress in frustration. "more like a curse. i was doing so good, it's been so long since i'd just... straight freeze up and chicken out, and that's exactly what i did."

mingi churns out a low hum, "no other way else to do it. what? you were gonna shake hands and play catch up with him? asked him what he did after he fucked you over and broke your heart?" he quips.

"well, no," you reply, reframing from growing irritated at your friend for his snarky remark during a time when your ovaries are about to explode. "i just thought i would've handled it a lot better. it's been five years and i haven't thought of him in so long, but one sighting of him and i'm already starting to question all the progress."

the recollection of earlier so vivid, you can almost feel the same sensation of shock and confusion as it numbed your entire body, just standing there like a little deer caught in headlights.

as if time throwing you back to the age of eighteen, still so easily starstruck and defenseless when it came to the charming boy who knew all the right things to say and do but never meant any of it.

who, told you right in the face he didn't want you--which was probably the only time he was being sincere.

last you heard, he had left the country. you didn't know where to exactly, but knew that he left.

you remember hearing about it from mingi the first time, that strange melancholy washing over at the news even though in theory, you should be happy.

mingi said he debated on telling you, having heard it from a friend of a friend, but succumbed eventually because he thought you would like to know, despite the pain and hardships san caused you, there's a part of you the revelation would bring relief to.

you won't have to worry or fret about accidentally running into him anywhere and go through that stage of grief all over again. and most importantly, it might in some ways, make the healing process easier.

"y/n," mingi snaps you out of it, that stern accent in his voice that indicates he's about to go off, "just because you're experiencing strong emotions again doesn't erase all of the progress you've made. you've seriously come so far, so don't undermine it."

"of course you're gonna feel some types of way at seeing san again. you said it yourself that he's someone special because he took so much from you. what matters is how you handle it now, and i know my y/n won't even give him the time of day or entertain his ass, right?"

you take in mingi's words and he's absolutely right. you're overthinking and giving yourself too little credits when you know that there's no way--

"right?! bitch, you better answer."

you roll your eyes.

"i love the faith you have in me," you say sarcastically.

"girl, i love you but that was a rough time."

because you lied and betrayed him the most during your time with san, and now, you just let him make all the jokes and snarky comments he wants. you're all over it.

"no but forreal that was actually kind of eye opening. if this teacher thing doesn't work out, you should totally go back and expand on that psychology degree."

he blows from the other line and you can picture an unamused expression on his face.

"nah, fuck that. i'm done with this school shit for life."

you let him ramble some more about why, no matter how much he enjoys the subject, the life and longevity of being a professional in the field just not for him (or the extra years of schooling) before he brings it back to the initial discussion once more.

and you promise that you won't fold so easily and pathetically ever again in the face of choi san.

you're familiar with how sometimes, by strokes of bad luck, you'd just be having shitty events happen one after another in a single day.

well, you're not gonna risk it and let it be this day, the top of your head peeking out to check the hallway before your entire body is scuttling into the elevator not taking any chances.

fate is already so cruel in placing the man who broke your heart and all, just a few doors down, and if it wanted to smack you right in the face with his chest or broad shoulders, it would've had you not left so quickly.

arin isn't there when you set foot into the office, her cubicle vacant and you continue to yours, sitting down to login and access your email, looking through the files the other team had sent of confirmed products that are soon gonna be launched and on the website a few months from now.

"good morning," your friend's greeting make you turn around, a sweet smile on her face like always, but yours still holding that same silently petrified expression of yesterday.

"hey."

her heels clink the carpet tiles walking closer, brows creasing into a look of sympathy as she asks, "you feeling any better?"

you nod, a barely audible hum leaving to accompany.

"should we talk about it? at lunch?"

because as much as you don't say, she knows there's something in your throat dying to just get out, and she's as equally curious to know.

"after work. we can grab something to eat."

you just don't think it's possible to summarize it all in thirty minutes; the history between you and san, and why you slightly want to pull her hair out because her boyfriend just has to be his friend.

it wasn't her fault, of course. but you're still kind of mad she tried playing cupid again and found the worst possible candidate.

you consider arin one of your best friends and she's told you on plenty occasions the same in return, but you did meet her after everything.

your fall from grace, that is, and quite possibly the lowest point in your life. so it just never came up, despite the impact it had on your growth, you didn't exactly expect you'd have to explain to her why her boyfriend's friend makes you want to hit your head against a wall.

"what? no way!"

your friend's embarrassingly loud volume echoes the whole restaurant and you have to deliver a kick to her leg under the table for the girl to calm with a light flush on her cheeks.

but you suppose there's no other way to react; finding out you too, were in love once and isn't completely the anti-romantic she was gonna write you off as.

"yeah..."

"i'm sorry. i truly am. from now on, i won't do it anymore," the girl swears, having seen it enough for herself at this point how her schemes despite having good intentions, always brings you the worst luck.

and though you've barely just scrapped the surface with san, your reactions were so strong when you saw him again, there's no doubt the guy put you through some fucked up shit.

"it's not like you knew or i ever told you, but yeah, it would be nice for you give up this whole matchmaking gig. you're horrible at it," you tease your friend, a laughter bubbling out when she rolls her eyes in response, quick to jump right back into asking questions.

"but you're okay now?"

"yeah. it's been years. just the shock of the first meeting in so long, i guess."

she nods, her mouth clamped shut because she does feel a little bad even if she didn't know, thinking the chances is crazy.

"he won't be here for long. as far as i know, it's only for a couple days until he finds a place or move elsewhere," she assures, bringing up what she heard from dinner last night because it might make you feel better.

"oh," is all that leaves, not that you're not relieved to hear it, but because there's something else you want to ask. questions lingering in your mind ever since 24 hours ago when you saw he was back.

it's not that you care, but it's really more out of curiosity.

"do you know how yeonjun and him met? or why he's back?" it slips out either way. but he could've been around for a while--the country at least, and last night was just when you so happened to see him.

"they met back in the states, when yeonjun was studying in new york. he haven't told me a lot about it either but i'm guessing it's something to do with his dance studio."

ah, so that's where san moved... new york.

"i see," you simply reply and leave it there, unwilling to ask any more or show the slightest interest in san's whereabouts even if you are intrigued because you know how much yeonjun lives and breathes dancing.

he even managed to open up his own studio, and you may not know a lot about san now or how much he's changed, but you remember his answer whenever you'd tell him to pursue his interest.

you never thought you'd see san and dance in the same sentence ever again.

you try to not let the threats of him distract you, but you still can't help but watch your back and surrounding everytime you leave into the hall, so fearful you're gonna smack or run into him and be left with nothing but the choice to face the ghost of your past.

you're not gonna let him have the power he once had over you, but that doesn't mean you're not dreading seeing him.

he's always been perfectly sculpted and too handsome for his own good, the last few years turning him even more menacing in terms of appearance, it's annoying if anything.

it doesn't have the same effect it used to, your eighteen year old self would've fallen to her knees and make an offering, but now, you can admit he looks good and just move the hell on.

but you still don't want to see him.

a few days of sneaking and hiding around like you're a spy in some undercover movie, you think you've officially lost your mind.

that maybe the universe's done enough damage and has taken a backseat, all your fear and paranoia all for nothing because there's no way you're gonna have to face san.

there's no way that on the day you finally decide to let your guards down and admit you're being overdramatic that you're gonna--

the sound of a door opening just as you close yours pick your head up in that direction, and out of every neighbors it could possibly be, of course it's san because why wouldn't it be?

he has a trash bag in one of his hands just like you and you can't help but to curse yeonjun's name for not taking out his own shit.

the world once again stops spinning and time stands still as both of your gazes burn into each other, his slightly hesitant eyes to your dull ones, just hoping he gets the fucking message.

that it's gonna be fucking awkward and since he still has his door opened, he can go the hell back in. act like this never happened because under any circumstances, you're not gonna talk to him.

you're also not gonna go back in now that it is what it is. you've already come so far and it's been years, it's about time you show than just tell.

show that he no longer has a hold over you and that you're not gonna cower like the once timid person you were.

you start by breaking the staring contest, straightening your posture and begin walking, not bothering to spare him another glance even as you pass right by him.

that it's more than enough signs and he'll just let it go. but it's san after all, and why would you ever expect him to do anything right?

"can we please--"

"--no," you cut him off so fast, his words more triggering than predicted and you can't really believe he's even trying.

"i know that--"

"i don't want to hear it!" you finally turn to him, all kinds of anger and disbelief coursing your face as tears threaten to pour and making your eyes red.

don't want to hear about the heartbreak and lies all over again; how and why you're not the one, and relive the miserable days once more.

"i don't care what you have to say because i don't want to hear it," you go on, voice and legs trembling but persisting nonetheless, "what happened between us is over. it ended, so i'd like it if you can keep it that way because there's nothing else to talk about."

and with that, you're walking away. you don't bother to wait for his response and you don't care to, but the silence protrudes until you hear the door shut behind.

~

"so you're not even a little bit curious in what he has to say?"

"no."

"or what he's been up to?"

"why the fuck would i be?"

"because you gave your pussy to him and he made your heart flutter like no others."

"what the fuck, mingi," you hiss into your phone, "weren't you the one preaching about not even giving him the time of day?"

"no no, of course, fuck that guy. i'm just saying that if he has something to say, aren't you just the slightest bit curious what it is? don't you want to hear about how pathetic and miserable he was during the time apart, or how sorry he is?"

you raise an eyebrow, replying with a perplexed but definite "no."

"okay, i'm proud or whatever," he says nonchalantly, and you can't tell if he's being sarcastic or not.

"there's no need to hear him out and even if he is sorry, i don't care. i'm over that shit and i'm over him."

"yes! so don't let me find out otherwise," he snarks, and you hate that he can't be serious for a second unless you two are at each other's throats and about to start yelling.

"you're annoying. bye."

you hang up, throwing your phone aside and eyes glued to the white ceiling that suddenly has such an entrancing pattern.

surely, you don't care. what he's been up to the past five years, or why he decided to come back.

there's also no reason to hear him out; the last conversation between the both of you more than enough to sum it up. he's hurt and used you beyond belief and that's that.

“i-i just feel like you never tried enough. maybe i’m not fond of who you are currently, but i could learn to–”

“please don’t make it any more harder than this, y/n. you don’t get with someone hoping you can learn to tolerate them… that’s not how it works.”

“you’re a nice girl, y/n. you really are so sweet, and i can see myself with you someday…” he says with a distraught look you will forever remember given how his words make your heart thump, only to then shoot it down, “but not right now…”

you cringe at how pathetic you were, so desperate for his reciprocation as if it was the sole thing keeping you alive and breathing.

but you've been fine and haven't moped about him in probably three years, so you will continue to be fine, whether or not you'll really hear from him, all the things he's been waiting to say.

"any plans for tomorrow?" you casually ask arin during break, your focus on the laptop and skimming through the drafts you've written, you don't catch the very moment she just freezes up tight-lipped.

"i'm going to see a movie," she answers.

"oh?" you nod it off, unsuspecting to the tension uprising and going on to ask in a cool tone, "what movie?"

it's not like you want to be invited; you and arin are perfectly fine being apart and doing your own things from time to time, but it's lunch and it's where you and her usually engage in topics and conversations of all kind just to pass time.

"the new superhero one." she lets a few seconds go by before adding, "with yeonjun."

you freeze in position then, though missing her nervous and anxious tone from before, it all makes sense.

she's gonna be with yeonjun, and with yeonjun comes someone else. she was afraid to bring it up; knows almost everything between you and san by now and knew you were most likely to reject the offer to go to the movie if he's gonna be there.

even if she loves going to the theater with you, the rants and comments after about what you both loved or hated the best part of the entire experience, but she was afraid.

"oh, i see," you dismiss, relaxed tone and a smile like it doesn't affect you. "heard lots of positive reviews about it, you guys are going to enjoy it for sure."

you try not to let the thought bother you for the rest of the day, but it does.

not of arin because you know she's sweet and kind and even asked again before she went home if you're okay with it, and you assured her you are.

she and yeonjun can't possibly cater to you and san just because you both happened to have some intertwined history they weren't even aware of beforehand.

no. you can't stop letting san fuck with your head. surprise?

can't stop overthinking and being spiteful that he was the one who fucked you over, yet you're the one having to accomodate while he's still shameless after all these years.

so he still has some effect on you, but you bet they're not the ability to summon butterflies or make you pink in the cheeks, maybe just red in the face.

because on top of learning to not let everyone step all over you, you also picked up on how to be a bit of a bitch. not your proudest accomplishment but a much needed one for survival.

you shouldn't have to step aside for him, tell him you don't want to talk, or run away as if he's the plague. it's been years, you said it yourself, and there's no reason to not hang with your friend or go see a movie you're interested in just because san is gonna be there.

you roll around in bed until landing in a comfortable position, eventually going to sleep with the thought.

~

"are you sure?" arin asks once again, the soft concerned accent in her voice.

"yes."

you've made your mind overnight, that you're not gonna run or cower. he no longer has ownership over you and you're gonna go see the movie.

"alright. if you really are sure, pick you up at four."

you get ready around three, do your hair and dress up a little just to look somewhat presentable and wait until there's a knock at the door, arin having texted thirty minutes ago you'll all be going in her car since the theater is closer to the complex.

somehow, you're not dreading or feeling even the slightest nervous at having to share a car ride with san or spend two hours at the cinema with him just a couple seats down.

when you do see him out in the hall, his freshly showered hair still wet and he has on a matching grey set of joggers and hoodie, his hands buried inside the pockets of his pants as he lasers you a look of surprise.

he didn't think you'd come because you most likely knew he's gonna go.

the ride down the elevator and most in the car thankfully drowned by arin's and yeonjun's constant chattering, talking like they're never gonna run out of topics.

but it makes the situation all more better and less awkward considering you're sitting in the backseats with san, but your attention out the window the entire time, mind either occupied with their conversation or the low volume music.

"y/n, i heard you got employee of the month again."

the call of your name pulls you away and to yeonjun's eyes as he looks over his shoulder before he blinks and turns back.

"ah, yes i did."

your friend has a habit of telling other people your business, but in her defense it's only because she wants to show you off since you're so great--taken by her word for word.

"arin's told me a lot about your writing," he casually adds, seconds before your friend starts doing what she does best.

"she's the best!" she squeals, and you have to hold back a snicker.

"how'd you get into it? your friend hasn't told me that part, shockingly," yeonjun says, amusement in his tone and taking the chance to tease his girlfriend.

"i--" you start but arin beats you to it.

"she started with a journal or notebook first, i think!"

you don't know whether to find it annoying or endearing, your eyes rolling but lips pulling into a smile.

"yeah," you let your friend have it, but the smile soon fading when you can feel the pair of eyes on you burning from the side, though you won't dare check it for yourself.

you also won't tell them why you started it in the first place, or how much the boy sitting next to you played a part in it.

"we're here!" arin announces, pulling into a parking space.

going to the movies also follows a routine; purchasing the tickets, getting a drink and popcorn if you're up for it, then going to find your seats.

san is seated next to yeonjun, and you next to arin, your eyes occasionally batting from the screen to your friend as she passes comments to her boyfriend when she'd have something to say about a scene.

the situation all too relaxing and calm, just exactly what you need for your mind to destress and just focus on what's happening; whether the characters' motivations or the great worldbuilding.

no need to worry about anything else, your stomach and chest still relaxed, nothing like the situation after the premiere that constricts the both of them as a wave of uneasiness wash over.

now regretting not following after your friend and just lying about having to use the restroom as well, because if you did, you wouldn't be stuck waiting in the hallway with san.

he's standing a feet from you, you can't really tell. but your gaze is nothing but trained on the restroom's doors wishing for either arin or yeonjun to finish fast enough.

but at least you're both kept company by the exit of other people leaving their auditorium, and the ones trying to find theirs.

you think you've done enough of a good job in letting san know you don't want anything to do with him, especially when it comes to compromising or making amends.

that he'd get it by now you don't even want to talk. after this, you both can go back to living separate lives and put on the act of not knowing each other the way it's been.

"congrats on getting employee of the month."

the voice makes you shudder, the reaction you want to give bordering annoyed and angry.

"i already told you i don't want--"

"i know. i know you don't want to hear any of it, and i won't try it now. but i just really wanted to tell you that because you deserve to hear it."

you fume through your nose, not wanting to have to look him in the eyes or give into his attempt at starting a conversation, but you can feel him looking you down, if the uncomfortable ting from the side of your face means anything.

"thanks, but i've heard enough from others to know i deserve it," you reply, your delivery sharp and straightforward, and san can't help but to smirk at that.

he knows he doesn't deserve to be heard; get the chance to explain himself and all the mistakes he's made because then it would be unfair to you.

calling them mistakes would be downplaying all the hurt and pain he's put you through, because at the time, it was his choice to make them. his choice to deceive and lie to you when he never had any sincere intentions.

he isn't proud of them, but that was who he was, and he owns up to the fact he was so horrible back then. undeserving of sympathy, affection, or being loved, and yet, you still gave him all three with your entire heart.

he can't say he deserves it now either despite some life altering decisions and soul searching, but he can say he's less of a shitbag to some extent.

still, your forgiveness is something he don't think he'll ever rightfully deserve.

another thing still the same is how much he likes everything about you, and seeing you again after all these years; after how much you've changed, he might like you even more.

no longer the soft spoken and afraid girl always holding back, but now with a sharp tongue and snippy attitude that speaks her mind.

who, different from the last time he saw you years ago, has on a new distinct style to complement the woman you've become--your hair always perfectly curled at the tips, your makeups more bold and edgy, and you don't shy away from showing any skin.

you walk around with more confidence without coming off arrogant, san still able to see the sweet and kind girl even through all the changes because that will always be who you are at the core--someone too easy to fall for and like.

"i have to apologize for the inconvenience, but just one more day and you won't have to worry about running into me anymore. i'll be staying somewhere else until i get approved for a place myself," he announces to utter silence, you standing there and not knowing what to say.

when the tense air stretches on, he speaks again, "also, i hope you'll be willing to hear my apology out even if just once. not for me and all my excuses, but because you deserve it. that's all."

you open your mouth, another dismissive comment about to slip about the wrath of being arin's and yeonjun's friends unavoidable but a buzz in the pocket of your jeans cut it short.

your eyes widen and lips pulled into an amused smile at the person who finally texted back, san catching the displayed name just right before you put it away at arin's return.

kang yeosang: hey, i'm so sorry for not answering sooner. i keep knocking out after school or work 🤦 but i'm doing great actually lol, and i hope you are too. would you like to meet up tomorrow? i'll finally be off and will have some time.

you've been here a couple of times, the cafe with a warm toned brown as its primary color, and menu and size two times bigger than the smaller one back at university.

you don't come often, but you do always feel welcomed. the aesthetics pleasing to the eyes and the staffs always friendly with warm smiles.

yeosang is seated at the corner, a small two person table, and his smile at the sight of you also makes you feel so warm.

"hey," you greet, pulling the chair as you take a seat.

"hey," he returns, unable to help the giggle that follows after, finding something so amusing about finally seeing each other again after four months despite being the only two still in the same city.

there's not a lot about him that has changed, except he's risen higher than any of you, but he's still just as handsome, welcoming, and obviously meant for bigger and better things.

but with yeosang, it is always so pleasant and safe.

in another reality; an alternate universe somewhere out there, you think yeosang might've been the one for you. even if he's too perfect for his and your own good, you'd come around to the idea that you do deserve someone like him.

someone who was such a mystery at first and had you believing he was the biggest asshole to walk the planet only to completely prove you wrong.

someone who showed patience time and time again that he was willing to wait, because he had so much love and sincerity to give if you were to accept his heart.

it was the perfect enemies or friends to lovers, and oh... it would've been so beautiful. it was quite close to the kind of fairytale love you always imagined; something too unrealistic and borderline delusional, but yeosang was real and ready to make it happen.

you never did give him your heart, though there was no rejection or denial. it just happened...

he waited for you, never pushy or pressuring, always so understanding of the fact you were healing and needed time. admitted to having a 'little' crush on you and whenever you were ready, you could consider.

you kept it in thought, then a month turned into three, and three turned into six, then a year, and suddenly you realized you had put it on the back burner for two years already.

it's not that you didn't like him. of course you like him, but you just weren't sure if you liked him like that.

so when he started acting off; not cold or indifferent, but actually smiling more and his head always somewhere else, it all made sense when a new face started to show at the pc shop on the regular.

yeosang met someone else.

and truthfully, you couldn't be any happier for him, because he deserved someone who wanted to be with him and who will love him in that moment.

every time your two best friends asked why you let a man of yeosang's caliber slip right out of your hand, you were never able to give them a definite answer, unsure of it yourself.

you guys were great friends and meshed so well together even without all the budding romance, and you didn't see why that needed to change--you suppose.

you had assured him it was all good and fair, that it is so natural for feelings to develop and for some to die out, especially over a long period--he needed to just go for it.

you like to think you earned another lifelong friend, even if he's busy most of the time and you'll be seeing each other at most only four times a year.

"want to order something first?" you suggest, quirking an eyebrow.

he hums with a nod, arms crossed in a relaxed manner.

you both order no more than two cups of americano, the taste of the black style coffee something you used to dislike because of the lack of sweetness, but yeosang got you growing fond of it after a while.

"how's everything?" you start again, "the job? school? other things?" you let just the faintest smirk cross your lips, much to the mirth on yeosang's.

"i want to say good but it's all really just a pain in the ass. the job and school, that is."

you snicker and he does the same, your frame slightly leaning over the table before passing a comment, "at least other things are going well."

"yeah." he smile. "but school will be over soon and that'll be that. the lead in my department likes my work enough so hoping for a promotion around the corner."

"you'll get it. for sure."

you both thank the waiter after the drinks' arrival, one of your hand fidgeting at the handle of the cup watching as he takes a sip.

"but i'm excited to be seeing everyone else the next month or so," he says, his turn be the one to watch.

"me too. we'll do karaoke, play stupid games, and maybe just drink a little."

you were also never great with alcohol but you've built more tolerance for it over the years given how your friends are.

"yeah, a little," yeosang quips, and you both giggle, knowing it's never just a small amount with mingi and yuna before they'd want everyone else to get as equally wasted.

"and you? anything new?" he asks, much to the fall of your expression as you begin fighting with yourself internally.

decide on whether you should or should not tell him of the tragedy that struck just a couple of days ago; the one that sent you five years back and to a place so dark.

but it's yeosang, and he will understand. he always does.

"i uh, i ran into san again," you break it sharp and quick, his relaxed face and posture tensing up.

"oh? what the fuck."

"yeah. he's friends with arin's boyfriend and it's an unbelievable amount of fuckery."

"thought he was being a dickhead somewhere else, and not in the country," yeosang takes a jab, always squeezing in the opportunity to do so, because he really does think san is such a horrible person.

he don't know how much the man's come to grovel, but for one to act like that and hurt another the way he did, it takes some malice at the core.

"he did meet her boyfriend while somewhere else," you enlighten, the fact not one you're happy to know about or tell.

yeosang quiets for a second, asking hesitantly, "did he tried talking to you?"

you nod, much to his expectation.

"yeah. but i shot him down the first time, and the second... i don't know. we talked but he didn't try apologizing or anything."

“also, i hope you’ll be willing to hear my apology out even if just once. not for me and all my excuses, but because you deserve it. that’s all.”

"and do you want him to apologize?" he asks, his voice stern and serious.

you freeze up at the question, all this time talking so big about not wanting to hear from san or whatever because he's hurt you enough, but you really don't know.

it's been years and you've moved on, but you do acknowledge the part of you that reserves a special place for him; him who was your first love and was once something you held on a pedestal.

"it would take a lot more than an apology for what he did," you answer, lacking just the smallest confidence.

"no, of course it's gonna take more than an apology. he did a lot of shitty things to you, but you shouldn't hear him out for the purpose of forgiveness, but because it's the least he can do for the hurt he's caused you. the apology isn't about him, but you."

yeosang's words stays with you for the rest of the day, and it doesn't get any better--mingi's also comes back as a haunting, making you turn and toss in bed.

“so you’re not even a little bit curious in what he has to say?”

“no.”

“or what he’s been up to?”

“why the fuck would i be?”

“no no, of course, fuck that guy. i’m just saying that if he has something to say, aren’t you just the slightest bit curious what it is? don’t you want to hear about how pathetic and miserable he was during the time apart, or how sorry he is?”

then what san said back at the theater also makes a reappearance, each of them taking turn to mess with your head and rethink: are you okay with never knowing what san was gonna say?

maybe it isn't gonna be as deep or remorseful as you hope, but he very clearly wants to say something to you, and you have to make a choice between finding out what it is or live your life with the mystery in mind.

you hate to say it, but you think the latter might be more painful, your mind always so itching and curious.

you might need to talk to him tomorrow, for just one last time.

you wake up way too early for your own good, not even urgent to get ready for work for another hour.

but you need to talk to san. make it quick and over with, then go on your own way like it's been.

you're barely a step out, the door not even closed yet when you can feel something under your slipper, glancing down to see you've stepped on a white envelope... addressed to you and from san, the date almost from a year ago.

you open it, seated on your couch and with a racing heart.

dear y/n,

i am finally writing this letter. i’ve sat down many times attempting to do so, sometimes barely able to get through the first line and sometimes i’ll read the first paragraph i wrote only to throw it away, completely unsatisfied. but it’s been four years–at least at the time that i’m writing this–that i’ve last seen you. four years since we saw each other and we probably won’t for a very long time, if ever.

it would be a miracle for me if i was to ever cross paths with you even just one more time, but it would be a tragedy for you because i’d like to think fate wouldn’t be so cruel to put you through that. so i write this letter with the thought that you would most likely never see it, but i did promise myself that if fate really is that cruel and we were to cross paths again, i would give it to you. it’s a bit selfish of me, but it’s because i know the chance of ever seeing you again is close to none. but it’s also everything i’ve ever wanted to tell you; say to you. i want to apologize sincerely, even though it’s a little too late. in a way, this letter is also an outlet for me and my thoughts.

it’s been about a year since i’ve graduated and around this time of the year, i always get a little sentimental. could be because i’m so far away from home so it’s only natural, but i know it’s because it’s summer and i tend to associate the season with you. we did a lot together and you opened some parts of me i couldn’t say or admit at the time.

you would always used to tell me to just try whenever i didn’t see the worth in doing something and i honestly just dismissed it because it sounded silly and quite cliche. i thought it was ironic coming from someone so shy and timid who always looked at the world with so much fear in her eyes. now, i’m starting to understand the amount of courage it must’ve taken you to even go out of your comfort zone. i realized, i was so much of a coward in comparison despite thinking i was the hottest shit at the time.

i always ran, but you never did. i was so scared of anything new and unfamiliar but you always faced them even when there’s a likely chance of failure. i treated you like shit and you still wanted to love me. i think about it often… why are you this way? but i won’t ever know because i never put in the efforts to get to know you beyond what you could offer me. you always asked about me but i never did the same in return.

if i could redo everything, i would want to hear your story. i would love to read anything you write. i said i would, but i never did.

i’m in the states, i’m sure somewhat and somehow you probably already know that (or you probably don’t because you don’t care anymore, which is fair). i left right before the start of the second semester during sophomore year. it was a big decision for sure, but i needed the change. things were already getting stale and repetitive, and you know me… i am not one to stick in one place for too long. i will always run, and so i ran to the states to live with my sister.

other than the fact i was born there and half of my family resides there, at that point, there was nothing left for me in korea. i didn’t have much to lose if i were to fly across an ocean and start anew.

wooyoung had already cut contact with me by then and any friends close to genuine i’ve ever had were all from associations with him. soon after, i realized anyone i still talked to were all phonies who i only hung around during parties and stupid rendezvous, with the exception of jongho. he got into yonsei, by the way. if you didn’t see him pestering you on campus, you probably already picked that up. he sent me a message a few months ago to come back and attend his graduation but i told him to fuck off because he didn’t attend mine either. good for him, though. he’s a smart kid.

but yeah. wooyoung’s a good person even if he grew up privileged. it’s what makes him such a people magnet. he was the most genuine friend i’ve ever had and the one who stuck by me for the longest. i really took him for granted and it only hit me when i lost him.

you are fortunate to have someone like mingi and yunho who seems very protective. i was a little scared when wooyoung warned me about mingi because he threatened to knock me out if he ever sees me. he’s much taller than me, so i don’t doubt it.

i know i sound miserable so far, but i am actually doing pretty okay… unfortunately. you probably don’t want to hear that and wish i was suffering, but i’ve suffered for maybe two and a half years before i finally felt somewhat content and okay, if that will make you feel any better.

the states is different and the people are as well. i’ve got to experience a lot of new things for a change.

when i transferred, i still didn’t know what to do. the clock was ticking and there was only so little time before i had to pick a field. i ended up going into dance performance, and of course i thought of you. when i found a passion for it again, i thought of you. and when i graduated last year with a fine arts degree, i thought of you… all because i knew you would be the happiest to hear about it.

whenever anyone asked me why i don’t want to come back home, i would always tell them what i told you: because there’s nothing left there for me. but one of the biggest reasons why i didn’t want to come back was because it reminded me of you too much. that, coupled with other factors, just makes it so much harder for me to want to return. it feels like reopening old emotional wounds that i have no one else to blame for but myself.

but my junior year, i met someone named yeonjun because we shared the same major. i get nostalgic sometimes because he often reminded me of wooyoung. speaking of wooyoung again, i sent him a similar letter but in email form a while ago, though not as long, and he said he was happy to hear from me again. i wasn’t sure if he was going to reply at all because it was an old email and i assumed he probably wanted nothing to do with me and that was official. but he replied pretty fast and said if i ever returned to korea, he doesn’t mind catching up. he went into business and said it’s something he actually really enjoys.

yeonjun is cool though, and like a less annoying version of wooyoung. he was also a transfer but had been here longer than i have. he met his girlfriend online who’s living in south korea and so after he graduated, he went back right away and said he was going to attempt to open his own studio. just about a month ago, he called me and said it’s almost done and he would be recruiting. he wants me to come back and help him and i’ve been giving it some consideration because i’m not doing much here back at the states either.

i was hesitant at first, of course. all for the reasons i’ve already stated, but all i ever do i run and even i’m growing tired of it. no matter how many bad memories the place holds, it is still home and my motherland after all.

anyways, i apologize for rambling. the letter is getting way too long, but my point is, i might’ve started liking you at one point. not in the casual way that our relationship was, but actually really like you. i don’t know. now that i’m older, it’s true that the love you’ve given me was something i was not ready for at that time and age. and now, it’s everything i wish i have. funny how time really does change a person.

i hope you are doing good for yourself, and i’m so sorry if you ever get the chance to read this letter.

– choi san

you don't even register you're crying despite the burning in your eyes until a lone tear stains the last page.

your heart and emotions so conflicted but also whole, unable to help the warmth and love that wraps your body even for just a moment.

because san felt something. through all of the lies and deceit, there were some sincerity, because an even bigger question you had all these years was whether he ever meant any of it.

when he kissed you, fucked you, and looked at you, you always wondered if there was something else behind his actions--if even the smallest of liking you--not for what you could offer him, but for being yourself.

your weakness always having been too easily touched and moved, particularly when swayed by the name of choi san that you're already at yeonjun's doorstep with the letter still in your clutch.

your beating heart still loud but ready to face him with everything.

"oh, hey."

it's yeonjun and he's both surprise and happy at the sight of you, but definitely questioning of the puffy red eyes.

"i-is san here?" you ask in the most vulnerable tone he's ever heard from you, raising an eyebrow in return.

"he left just a while ago."

yeonjun doesn't get to interrogate the reason why you're asking or is at his door so early in the morning looking like you just had a breakdown, only watching in silence as you scuttle into the elevator.

you don't know how long he's been gone exactly (you really should've asked), but there's a chance he might not have gone far; you might still catch him if--

you thought you were prepared and ready, but when you actually see him, your body just kind of goes into shock.

he catches your nervous gaze, so scared before but relieved the instant he sees you--standing up from where he was waiting as you walk over.

the lobby still with some people and their chitters, but the air around both you and san so thick with a silence that you're desperate to break.

"yeonjun told me you left a while ago... i thought you were most likely gone," you speak, so shy and nervous all of a sudden, but determined nonetheless.

"yeah. i-i was going to, but i told myself if i don't see you within the next hour, then i'll really go. forget all of it."

it might be the first time he's ever stuttered in front of you, your heart once again somersaulting knowing he was waiting for you.

"oh..."

as much as san's gotten better, he will always be a little selfish. he knows he absolutely does not deserve your forgiveness or even to be talking to you, but you are someone special to him.

someone he didn't even think he'd get to ever meet again unless by some miracle, and for it to actually happen, it must be some sign.

that he at least need to try and fight before completely giving it up. just one hour, and if you didn't show, he'd let it be. take that as an answer and leave you alone forever.

"w-where are you going to be staying?" you attempt to carry a casual conversation.

"wooyoung," he answers, mouth forming into a smile you love all too much. "he said i can stay for a month before he'll kick me out."

you giggle and he does so, too, your eyes meeting momentarily as another silence fly by.

"i got your letter," you finally say, the one thing that was sitting on your chest so heavy.

he only nods, posture and everything about him so awkward, because it is.

admitting to your own fuck-ups is never easy, and especially when those fuck-ups messed with the lives of people. he is ashamed and embarrassed, to say the very least.

when he doesn't say anything, you try again, only getting as far in your sentence at the first "i'm..." before the emotions get the better of you--the crack in your voice and the waterwork.

san's hands are on you that instant, his hands wiping at your tears, and you think you're going to cry even more at the proximity; he's so close and it feels so wrong.

"i'm... i'm just so happy," you let it out, your gaze holding his and at the way he softens, you think you could die.

not just that he's incredibly handsome, but it's always been so easy to fall for him and want to give your all. like you can understand why your eighteen year old self wanted him so bad.

"i'm so happy that you liked me then," you finish off, a tad dramatic but thankful there isn't a lot of people in the lobby so early in the morning.

"i still like you now, y/n," he replies almost immediately, so much passion and sincerity in his voice, because he wants you to know that. he does like you.

"i was so stupid and immature and a complete dick. i am still a lot of those things, but god... you were amazing. you still are. and i had it so good and took it for granted. i just want to say, i am sorry... for everything. i already wrote it in the letter, but i want you to hear it, too, that i truly am so sorry."

the way you look at him the entire time too endearing; something he used to hate. your gaze always so attentive as if he holds the stars in them.

your lips are slightly pouting and if he was the man from before, he would've already kissed them. take them for himself and not care whether you wanted it or not.

but he already swore that he will no longer be crossing boundaries or doing anything just for his own self fulfillment.

you're about to say something but is cut off by the ringing of his phone, greatly saddened when he takes his hold off your face to fumble his pocket, taking a single glance at it.

"it's wooyoung. probably to complain because i told him i would be coming like twenty minutes ago."

you nod in understanding, mumbling, "you can go."

he exhales and looks down at you.

"i know this wasn't the best time and place to talk, but... if you want, just if you're okay with it... maybe we can talk again another time? no pressure, of course."

he waits for the stoic expression on you to turn into a smile as you respond with a soft, "i would love that." pausing just before adding, "my number is still the same."

"got it," he says, trying the hardest to hide a smile you can still see. the both of you just waiting in spot after because it's hard to leave.

"are you still gonna come visit yeonjun?" you suddenly ask, much to san's amusement, he can't help the smirk.

"yeah."

"okay, cool," you reply nonchalantly, acting the most aloof as your eyes shy away from his.

"then can i also ask you something?"

"go ahead."

he clears his throat, taking the shortest pause.

"are you seeing yeosang?"

you pinch in your brows at the question, puzzlement all over your face before breaking out a chuckle.

"no."

and if you are to ask him, he probably will never admit to the uneasiness ever since he saw yeosang's name pop up on your phone.

yeosang's a great guy and a perfect fit for you, but dare he say it, san would be heartbroken.

"okay, cool," he mimics you, eventually rubbing at the back of his neck, "gonna head out then. i'll see you."

"yeah. i'll see you."

you watch as he disappears into the distance, sparing another glance at the letter still in your hold, only shaking your head going back up the elevator to get ready for work.

damned choi san and the hold he still has over you.

a/n: dksdskdjfksi it is finally over!!! truly ty to everyone who stuck around even with all the bullshit bc i couldn't make up my mind half of the time. i did the yeosang girlies the dirtiest but believe me when i say we were SO CLOSE to a yeosang endgame. if anyone is interested in that, i would be happy to respond in an ask or reply. but they did have so much potential, i'm sorry sdlksijdkjsdl

again, ty 4 reading and have a wonderful rest of your day/night! onto better things, we go.

taglist: @sorryimananti-romantic @revehosh @cookiechristie @avantalem @atiny68 @sannwa @shibera @mochibabycakes @justineasian @eastleighsblog @baguette-atiny @crimson-mia @yeosxxx @sleepychimm @atz-diary @diorwoo @naiify @becauseiloveyunho @damagelove @softie00 @s-nsanshine @atinytinaa @moonseonghwa @lemontreefantasy @wooyoung4eva @yeosangsbiceps @likexaxdaydream @knucklesdeepmingi @barbielibra @tmtxtf @brown88 @harusoraa @frankenstein852 @yujispinkhair @mermaid17venus @nolxverlikeme @writersun @kkayfan @wooyoungjpg @galaxypox @byunniebaekhyunnie @vixensss @interweab @svintsandghosts @moonchele @atinyluv238

[kokinu09]

Let Go of the Reins || CHAPTER 1

~*~

pairing seungmin x fem!reader

genre strangers to lovers, romance, fluff, slight angst later, happy ending, social media, not meant to be, someday

summary Australia is considered home for two of the eight members. When two tour dates are scheduled for the land down under, the boys can’t help but want to spend a bit more time there to visit family and do a little sightseeing. So how do they convince the company that they need to stay a couple weeks? Filming some SKZ Code episodes.

A local riding school just outside the city with amazing reviews for their skilled instructors and beautiful horses is hosting a very popular kpop group to film their experiences. Y/N knows the group well and she just so happens to be their star working student.

status ongoing

taglist OPEN

previous | masterlist | next

~*~

The drive to their destination isn’t too bad. It’s actually very beautiful. The transition from the city to the more rural areas into the natural Australian landscape. Vast grassy fields, rolling hills, and lush, green forests all brimming with wildlife and gorgeous views.

They’re heading to a small riding school about an hour out of the city. Chan had told them about it vaguely in the chat earlier. Seungmin is sure he didn’t even know much about it other than what they’re doing and where they’re going.

As the vans pull up, he takes note of how big the place seems to be. They’re only at the entrance and the sheer amount of grounds they’ll be covering is already making him feel exhausted.

He looks around at the others when they’ve all filed out. Of course Chan is over talking to one of the staff, pointing in all different directions he assumes is him getting as much information as possible. Minho is hung back near Han in their little introverted huddle waiting for instructions. Felix’s bright eyed smile as he looks around makes him chuckle from the blatant contrast between his own dread and the older’s excitement. And the other three were currently bickering and placing bets on who they think will get bucked off.

“Mm, I don’t think Hannie-hyung would. He’d just let the horse take over before disagreeing with it.” Jeongin decides. Hyunjin hums in agreement beside him.

“You’re right. It will definitely be Changbin-hyung before anyone else.” He adds.

“HEY!” The older boy shouts indignantly. “The horses are going to love me! What are you talking about?!” Changbin continues to loudly defend himself for about a minute before Chan appears to intervene, gathering all of the boys closer.

“Ok, it’s almost time for the host to come get us for instruction. Today will mostly be us getting to look around and learn the do’s and dont’s.” Chan explains before turning to look pointedly at Changbin. “But let’s try not to startle the horses with too much yelling, yeah?”

Changbin gawks but is ultimately left speechless without an argument to stand on. The other two boys that had placed bets snicker. “See?” Hyunjin laughs, earning an elbow from his elder.

~*~

What was surprising was the lack of cameras following them around. Seungmin had first noticed when they were led to the entrance of the main barn to meet the inspector but he didn’t say anything.

Now that they are fully inside and being taught about the equipment they’d be using, it feels strange. They’re so used to seemingly being recorded at all times that the moments when they’re not, they automatically are just waiting for the cameras to show.

“I thought we were recording SKZ Codes. Where’s the camera crew?” He whispers the question to Chan.

The leader’s eyes flicker over to him then back towards the instructor. “We are but the host’s insisted that the first day be used solely for institutional purposes for our safety. Tomorrow will be more fun, I promise.” He offers a smile of reassurance.

Seungmin hums in understanding and pretends to tune back into listening, even though all of this is incredibly boring to him.

“Minho, look!” Han alerts in excitement, completely interrupting the poor woman talking and all eyes turn to where he is pointing further down the barn.

A mother cat lounges about as her three small kittens pounce and play nearby. A chorus of delighted and amused sounds erupt from their group. A few of the members, Minho included, abandon their seats all together in favor of playing with the kittens.

Seungmin even got up in favor of distracting from the monotonous lesson about horse equipment.

“Oh, you’ve found little Miss Cali and her babies!” The woman says lightly. Minho already has all three kittens circling his crouched legs as he scratches their mother’s head. “And it seems they really like you!” She laughs.

“I would hope so! He’s our resident cat whisperer!” Han teases as he coaxes one of the kittens to come his way instead.

“Don’t be dramatic,” Minho scoffs. “I just treat them with respect and they appreciate that.” Then he smirks. “They’re not like dogs just desperate for attention.”

“Hey!” Seungmin gawks in offense. But he gets brushed off with a wave of Minho’s hand as if he hadn’t meant it towards him, even though he definitely did. The younger just clicks his tongue in annoyance.

Chan is too busy apologizing to the nice lady for the interruption and giving her a vague translation of what the members were saying to notice when Seungmin slips further from the members and the cats. And neither had the rest of them.

He didn’t stray far at first. Just slipping further into the barn to see some of the horses still in their stalls. Even getting to pet a few of them on the nose if they were close enough to the door. He smiles to himself at the peaceful moments he gets to share with these gentle giants on his own for once.

Not that he doesn’t enjoy experiencing things with the members. Because he does! It’s just rare to have a moment alone even when they aren’t filming. Lucky for him, his fellow members are easily distracted and, without the cameras watching their every move, he could enjoy one of these seldom quiet instances.

The further from the group he got, the more his curiosity peaks at the sounds coming from outside. The distant neigh of excited horses and the almost rhythmic pounding of against the dirt. What would it hurt if he explores just a little more?

So he glances over his shoulder, to make sure no one has missed him yet, then continues to wander out of the barn.

The air outside is refreshing, even with the humid heat. It’s better than inside the stuffy barn. Someone must have cut the grass recently because he can smell it mixing with the kicked up dirt. A light breeze hits his face as he takes in a deep breath and keeps walking further from the confines of the barn.

“Arena?” He wonders aloud when he reads a sign nailed to a pretty white fence. The only arenas he’s ever been to were for concerts or sports. What could an arena be for at this riding school?

The fenced area is surrounded by trees and greenery, almost as if they are trying to keep it hidden from the general attendees for their services. His interest peeks again, curious what they could be hiding.

He pushes on, the grass under his feet turning to dirt as soon as he crosses the fence’s threshold. The vast space seems filled with obstacles; red and white horizontal bars held up by sturdy posts, barrels strategically placed exact distances apart, and even a couple weird standing curtain-like fixtures.

“Oh, some kind of training arena,” he murmurs to himself, walking up to the closest jump obstacle just to look at it. He hasn’t seen these kinds of things in person after all. It’s much bigger than what he imagined watching it on a little phone screen. But the horses also seem bigger, so he guesses he just isn’t used to all this yet.

Suddenly, he hears the fast approaching sound of hooves pounding against the ground. “Oh shit,” Seungmin curses, his eyes go wide with panic as he bolts upright and pushes himself backwards as quickly as he can. If he trips over his own two feet just as the horse clears the jump and he’s face-to-face with a huge animal that could crush him in an instant, then that’s between him and the dirt under his ass.

But the massive creature skids to a stop before he can be trampled and the panicked voice of the rider drifts over the irritant neighs.

“Oh my god! Are you ok?”

He looks up and thinks he might be dreaming. An angel atop her white stead, the Australian sun casting a halo around her silhouette as she watches over him. Maybe he did die and go to heaven.

~*~

It’s a miracle that you stopped in time. Your heart thrumming in your chest with panic that you’d almost accidentally run someone over and worry that this not-just-a-somebody but Korean fucking idol is actually hurt because of you.

“I’m so so so sorry!” The words coming out without even a breath in between as you hop out of the saddle, rushing to help him up off the ground and back onto his feet.

Seungmin still hasn’t found his voice even as you frantically check him over for anything visible, all the while the word sorry becoming your new catchphrase. But his silence almost makes you worry even worse than if he was scolding you.

With a huff you finally straighten to look him in the face, eyes big and round and scared. “Please tell me you’re alright.”

It was only then that you realize just how scared he must have been; his eyes wide and almost sparkling (what you could only assume is from unshed tears because why else would his eyes be so big and beautiful), face flushed (maybe he’s embarrassed that you’re seeing him so vulnerable?), and lips slightly agape (the shock seeming to still have a tight grip on his tongue). That has to be the only explanation as to why he is looking at you like this.

He finally blinks a few times as he breathes out a laugh at how much fuss you’re making over this. “I’m fine, don’t worry,” he assures, brushing off the dust from his pants.

“Oh thank god!” You dramatically sigh. “Your company would kill me if anything happened to you!”

“Ha! Gee thanks!” Seungmin laughs humorously.

“Wha—? Wait! No! Not like that!” You laugh along, relieved that he’s able to joke about the situation. But that’s kinda the problem here though, isn’t it? Your features shift from a lighthearted smile to very serious in a matter of seconds. Your lips pressing into a hard line. “What are you doing in the arena? You could have really gotten hurt!”

“Don’t be dramatic. I was only looking around.” Then he smirks. “And besides, nothing bad actually happened.”

You huff out an annoyed breath. “Yeah! ‘Cause my horse and I have been working together for a very long time.”

“My hero~!” He coos teasingly.

“Shut up,” you glare but the blush heating your cheeks doesn’t go unnoticed. “Anyone less experienced as a rider might not have stopped in time and you would have been trampled!” The scold coming out much more concerned than you intended.

“But again, I wasn’t and everything is fine,” he brushes it off and your cheeks heat up for a completely different reason.

“Where are the rest of the boys. We are having a safety meeting before anything else.” You demand, grabbing his wrist as you stomp towards the barn. Maybe dropping your hold when he catches his footing and is able to keep pace with you. (Or maybe it was out of embarrassment, you’ll never admit the truth.)

“Hey, w-wait!” It’s his turn to grip onto your wrist to stop you. “You obviously know who I am,” you snort as if to say ‘yeah no shit’, which makes him chuckle but he has to know. “But I didn’t catch your name.”

You’re sure the look on your face is so dumb because you just stare at him as if he’s joking for a few long seconds. Why on earth could he want to know your name? You’re just some girl who teaches riding lessons. A glorified stable hand. Nothing special. But he is patient as he waits for your response, an eagerness clearly bubbling just beneath the surface.

“Y/N.”

~*~

taglist

@kangaracha @rainfallingfromthesky @puppysmileseungmin @keepswingin

[marniepreece]

W H O A M I ?

FULL NAME: Marnie Endora Preece OCCUPATION: Owner of Siltshore Mausoleum AGE: 39 PRONOUNS: She/her SPECIES: Witch WITCHCRAFT: Necromancy COVEN: The Garnett Coven HOMETOWN: Wilmington, Delaware RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single SEXUALITY: Queer

(tw: death, necromancy)

P E R S O N A L I T Y

CRYPTIC; Unfortunately Marnie comes from a lineage of wordsmiths. Odds are she's deliberately making a fool of you for asking a stupid question, and she's enjoying the web she's spinning. Blame the lifetime she's spent guarding a wealth of knowledge about a dark art mastered by a select few. DECEPTIVE; As a defence mechanism only. Whether it's to defend against information she doesn't want to divulge, or a more sinister, spiritual attack. She can and will evade the truth to protect those undeserving of harm. Push a little too far, and you'll come to learn that poison is her weapon of choice. EERIE; There's an air of mystery about Marnie that she can't quite shake. It's a little off-putting, really, because her deadpan expression rarely matches the warmth in the inflection of her tone. She reserves her true softness for those that have earned her trust. EMPATHETIC; Feelings first, reasoning second. Her heart yearns to comfort others, particularly when it comes to the spirits that keep her company and those linked closely to them. IMPULSIVE; Watch her talk herself into something reckless in real time. It's not hard, given her people-pleasing disposition. It makes her vulnerable to peer-pressure and/or a persuasive voice at the worst of times. WARM; It doesn't matter how long she's known someone, or whether she knows them at all. She's realised just how few people share the same desire to help others. But she will, always, even if it means receiving nothing in return.

B I O G R A P H Y

June 1984 - Born in Wilmington, Delaware, into a family of two loving parents, both of magical heritage, and a sister. Their small coven of practicing witches had been hidden from human knowledge, following the Preece family lineage and dating back to the 19th century. They were a fragment of part of a much larger coven which resided in Port Leiry. September 1991 - Her youngest brother was born. June 1994 - On her 10th birthday, Marnie was given her first spell book titled 'Conversations with the Dead'. Each following birthday she received literature to guide her towards reanimating and speaking with the dead to ensure she carried on the practice of necromancy. October 1999 - Marnie spoke to the dead for the first time at age 15, and it was crucial that she succeeded. The long-buried Matriarch of the coven (in Delaware) gave Marnie their approval, and a glowing review of her sinister talents, after she had reanimated her and forced the truth from splinters in her bones. February 2001 - Her familiar made themself known to her; an orange baboon tarantula known for possessing a toxin of unknown lethality, never before extracted by human hand. January 2005 - Word travelled between nomads and covens about Marnie and her familiar. An odd request to study the toxins produced by her familiar had her migrating, for what she assumed would be a temporary stay, across the belt of the country and settling in Colorado. She fell in love with mountains, lakes, and long open roads before she fell in love with a girl. One that learned just how defensive her familiar could be, and was the first to feel the full effects of its bite. August 2010 to May 2021 - After heartbreak and heartache, she travelled through the midwest and vowed never to stay in one place for more than a few years at a time. She gravitated towards witches by circumstance, since spirits were terrible at keeping secrets, and found she was subconsciously travelling towards Port Leiry. On her travels, she fell into allied covens as a guest, aiding them in their understanding of dark magic and demonstrating her own magical prowess. And just as they thought Marnie was settled with them, she would leave without a word and continue on towards Port Leiry. May 2021 - She arrived in Port Leiry, where the spirits of the Mausoleum courted her to stay with stories of their ancestors, romances, and lives once lived. She promptly became the owner, and spent most of her free time exchanging information about the town's happenings, her travels, and uncovering the town's history from first-hand accounts.

W A N T E D

I've walked with you once upon a dream - Members of The Garnett Coven from all walks of life that she's likely heard rumours of, or met in her travels. In a different time, a different place, we could've been - Romance that ended amicably, tragically, or just ended. Odds are they've left an impression on her that has become a vital part of her personality, for better or worse. This love is alive back from the dead - Any and all wanting to reconnect with someone 'passed on'. If they're buried in Port Leiry, she might just be able to bring them back. For a price. A vision trick under the warning light - She doesn't like to deceive others if she can avoid it, but odds are she's lied to a handful of people about something she shouldn't have. What she's lied about, how important it is to your character, and to whom, is up to you. Got all kinds of poison in my blood - Those interested in studying the effects of her familiar's poison, or using it for their own benefit. You were a memory that I could never leave - Her siblings; an older sister (40s) and younger brother (33). Marnie was 22 when she left home and promised she wouldn't be gone long. How they feel about reconnecting with her is up to you.

[urparking]

Online Jobs After 12th

Top 7 Best Online Jobs for Students After 12th

This is an immense advantage, particularly to students currently seeking online or combined college degrees. Such students could be searching for an online a job that is adaptable enough to meet their schedules. Students will not just earn money; additionally they will also acquire expertise for their future jobs.

The hands-on experience you acquire from a job will be an essential advantage for you as you advance in your career because your CV is going to be stronger to that of students who only have degrees. Irrespective of the scores, every recruiter would choose a candidate with job experience over a new hire.

Listed below are some widespread online jobs that students might easily pursue, no matter what subjects they have studied:

Content Writer

Copywriter

Online Tutor

Video Editor

Transcriptionist

Web Designer

Graphic Designer

Top Sites to find Online Jobs:

Upwork: https://www.upwork.com/

Naukri.com: https://www.naukri.com/

Internshala: https://internshala.com/

Freelancer: https://www.freelancer.com/

Fiverr: https://www.fiverr.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/

1.         Content Writer

If you have passion and skill for writing, this is a perfect job for you.

Content writers have a variety of a kind. You are then free to work as a full time or freelance content writer as per your choice.

If you are planning to be an independent blogger, you may write about whatever you want on your blog site and earn money with the help of the following:

•          Write product reviews

•          Affiliate Marketing Display Google AdSense

•          Sell sponsored blogs

•          Be an influencer

Being a freelance content writer, you can write for numerous clients at the same time and produce material on concepts that they specify. The payment you receive will depend on the quantity of material you make. Most freelance content writers are paid by the quantity of words they write.

Average expected base Salary: Rs. 20,000 – 30,000 per month (*salary may vary depending on Company’s/Client’s needs)

2.         Copywriter

As a copywriter, your job will be to create regular content for your brand and company. A copywriter's target is to create attractive material that engages the audience while also promoting the company. Copywriters frequently create material for commercials that a brand/company runs to draw in leads.

Because it is an entirely online job, it is perfect for students who are also doing online course. Students obtaining full-time degrees can also do part-time jobs.

Average expected base Salary: Rs. 4 lakh per year (*salary may vary depending on Company’s/Client’s needs)

3.         Online Tutoring

Tutoring is one of the most popular part-time jobs, and it is quite useful to youngsters. This is because, while educating others, you may renew and review your own skills and expertise. Studies indicate that teaching others helps you enhance your personal knowledge and learning.

It will additionally teach you time management and help you to plan sessions around your and student's schedules.

Average expected base Salary: Rs. 3 lakh per year (*salary may vary depending on Company’s/Client’s needs)

4.         Video Editor

The majority of the content we consume nowadays comes in the form of movies and images.

Online Jobs in this are:

Video Animation

Stop-motion Video

Filmmaking

You can work as a freelance video editor, or you can start as an intern and progress to full-time employment after finishing your education, since this job will provide you with many options in the future.

Average expected base Salary: Rs. 27,000 – 30,000 per month (*salary may vary depending on Company’s/Client’s needs)

5.         Transcriptionist

Big businesses and enterprises, such as media companies, academic institutions, and health care providers, usually have massive data collections in various types.

As a transcriptionist, all you have to do is write or type the material of an audio/video. You must carefully document each detail using the correct syntax and language. You will profit from having a decent typing speed, especially if you are a freelancer, because you will be able to finish more tasks at a faster rate.

Average expected base Salary: Rs. 25,000 – 30,000 per month (*salary may vary depending on Company’s/Client’s needs)

6.         Web Designer

Website design is currently gaining popularity as a useful skill. Students benefit from freelancing work since it allows them to better manage their free time and schedule.

A lot of businesses have moved online. Going online indicates they'll need a website. Only an effective website can help them establish an online presence. Freelancing will provide you with the required experience since you will see how different firms engage with their customers.

However, in order to acquire jobs, you must be a great designer.

Average expected base Salary: Rs. 23,000 – 30,000 (*salary may vary depending on Company’s/Client’s needs)

7.         Graphic Designer

By using tools like such as Adobe Photoshop, Sketch and After Effects, you can easily generate income using your skills. Graphic designers are some of the most in-demand skills in the field of digital advertising and the high salary perks are also quiet high in this field if you have the right skill set.

Online Jobs in this are:

Animation

Digital Drawing

Photo Editing

Logo Designing

They may also work for magazines, commercial agencies, and businesses with active social media knowledge.

Average expected base Salary: Rs. 25,000 – 30,000 per month (*salary may vary depending on Company’s/Client’s needs)

Benefits of Online Jobs

Work around your schedule

Understand time management

Earn money

Improve your resume

Interact with experts in the field

Gain necessary skills

Explore career choices

Remote work experience

[mahamid110]

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[cloudminergpt]

How To Join BTC Cloud Mining Step-by-by Guide

Before learning how to join BTC cloud mining, it is important to know why we should do so. The motivation comes from the fact that those interested in the cryptocurrency business have a spectrum of choices here. Its affordability is highlighted by cloud mining’s attribute which relieves the investor from buying expensive equipment and maintaining it or footing massive electricity bills. Now that you are convinced that cloud mining is the best bet, let’s learn the nuances of joining the cloud crypto mining process.

Choose A Reputable Company

The first step towards cloud mining starts with intensive research with the hope of finding a reputable and reliable cloud mining provider. Collect reviews, testimonials and user experiences of the best cloud mining in Chennai from friends, colleagues and relatives. Analyze the transparency of the provider by the extent to which they reveal their mining facilities and team besides sharing the risk involved.

Pay attention to the mining contracts, maintenance fees and pricing structure and ensure that it aligns with your budget and investment goals. Identify the mining algorithms that the cryptocurrencies offered would support and study the scope for diversification.

Finalize A Mining Package

After finalizing your provider move over to the mining packages and start by deciding the length of the contracts. These contracts may extend from a few months to a few years and the longer ones come with better pricing yet longer commitment. Determine your budget which would automatically lead you to a suitable mining package and its size.

From the range of packages offered by the cloud mining platform with varying hashing power choose the one you can afford with a potential to earn. Read the terms and conditions carefully and bring your risk tolerance to the picture and make your plunge.

Select A Mining Pool

Enhance your chances of earning bitcoins by joining the right mining pools based on factors like size, payout structure, fees, reliability and user interface. Mining hardware like graphics processing units and central processing units are limited in their profitability and need more time and energy to mine, while application-specific integrated circuits have better computational power than the former ones.

Look for the cloud mining services mining pool’s transparency which is asserted through its real-time dashboards. Observe the pool payout schemes which may be pay-per-share and pay-per-last-n-shares. Study the mining pool’s stability by analyzing factors such as downtimes which depend on the connection which may be secure or open, vulnerability to DDoS attacks which increase with increased pooling activities and the pool’s ability to repel such attacks.

Pay For The Service And Deposit Funds

Start by creating an account on the website of the chosen cloud mining service which requires an email address and an extremely secure password setup. Use appropriate credentials to cloud mining login to enter your newly created account and choose a mining package that is both affordable and suitable.

Buy mining contract in terms of contract duration, maintenance fees, hashing power and total cost and add the chosen mining package to your cart. Click the ‘Proceed to payment’ or ‘Check-out’ button to initiate the payment process and through cryptocurrencies or traditional methods like credit cards. Enter payment details by confirming and making payments and depositing funds in your account.

Start Mining

Now that your account is funded, purchase the hashing power to start mining. Rent a part of the cloud mining service’s mining equipment through which you earn rewards based on your share of the total hashing power used. Employ your account dashboard to assess the performance of your mining package and other statistics like daily earnings and total BTC earned and tracking these metrics evince the progress of your investment.

Anticipate the risks and challenges on which your profitability depends and invest only what you can afford to lose. Review your investment strategy constantly and adapt to the market conditions for the best results.

Monitor And Withdraw Earnings

While you track your earnings through your crypto cloud mining account’s dashboard, be aware of the bitcoin’s price, mining difficulty and mining plan’s fees when making expectations. Use email or mobile phone notification settings to stay informed about your earnings and mining activities. Use the performance graphs that your cloud mining service may provide to understand trends and periods of high or low profits.

After accumulating a sufficient amount of cryptocurrency, withdraw to your wallet in a procedure prescribed by the cloud mining provider. Understand the threshold and schedules of your provider while making such withdrawals.

Stay Informed And Research

An investment market as volatile as cryptocurrency needs constant tracking, owing to its fluctuating profitability. Along with the fluctuations in bitcoin prices and mining difficulty, it is advised to track the service provider’s legitimacy periodically. Stay informed about the tax obligations regarding your cryptocurrency returns in your jurisdiction and have documents in place to fulfill such requirements.

Employ sources like cryptocurrency news, social media, market analysis from reputable sources, forums and podcasts to stay informed about the best mining practices. Understand mining basics, calculate returns on investments and ensure the responsiveness of the provider’s customer support and their regulatory status in your region before executing your operations.

Execute Security Measures

Focus on encryption and two-factor authentication to secure your earnings and use strong and unique passwords. Beware of phishing attempts and review account activity for any suspicious behaviour. Also, study the security measures practiced by the cloud mining service provider to secure their mining farms along with the accounts of their customers.

Conclusion

Though cloud mining is not as profitable as self-hosted mining with dedicated software, it is an excellent way to start with humble means. However, it is advisable that the investor is alert and makes informed decisions and evaluates costs, returns and risks involved before committing money to the cloud mining company. Make sure to embrace the volatility of the cryptocurrency market and have a strategy-based exit plan before you make an entry.

[learnandearncompanyfeedback]

Learn N Earn Company

Welcome to Learn N Earn, your companion in lifelong learning and professional evolution. At Learn N Earn, we believe education is the cornerstone of success and the gateway to unleashing your full potential which is why we’ve built a platform offering accessible, affordable, and high-quality learning experiences for individuals of all ages and backgrounds. Our comprehensive range of courses includes Personality Development Skills, Basic Computer, and Spoken English Course. With expert instructors and flexible study options, Learn N Earn empowers individuals to pursue their passions, achieve their goals, and thrive in today’s dynamic world. Join Learn N Earn Academy for discovery, growth, and success

[learnnearn669878]

The Importance of Skill Development With Learn N Earn

Skill development with Learn N Earn is not just beneficial; it’s essential in today’s fast-paced and competitive world. Whether you’re looking to advance your career, increase your employability, boost productivity, experience personal growth, or future-proof your career, Learn N Earn provides the tools, resources, and opportunities you need to succeed. Invest in your skills today and unlock a world of possibilities with Learn N Earn.

https://learnandearncompany.medium.com/the-importance-of-skill-development-with-learn-n-earn-a9df55a7c36e

[learnnearn12]

Learn N Earn Company A Closer Look at Customer Reviews and Testimonials (1).pdf

Learn and Earn companies have transformed the way we approach education and income generation. By combining the power of learning with the opportunity to earn, these companies provide individuals with a unique pathway to personal and professional growth. Embrace the opportunities offered by Learn and Earn companies, and embark on a journey towards acquiring new skills, expanding your horizons, and achieving financial prosperity. With dedication, perseverance, and the support of these innovative platforms, you can unlock a world of possibilities and shape your own path to success.

[greenwood106-blog]

Every Day Is A Good Day?

These words were the motto of a friend/mentor in my professional world. He had gone through a serious health spell, and was left to rot in the hospital. When he rebounded and got better, his feet and toes essentially had to be broken and pinned to straighten, allowing him to walk.

For years, I carried that motto. Then came the stroke. These days, it is a much more difficult task to find a day that I can feel like that motto is more than just words.

As an Atheist, my views on life & death are pretty straightforward. I have no belief on the question of where my "soul" will come to reside based on who or what I may have pledged my allegiance to. I've always believed in karma, that you get what you give.

We've all gotten a kick out of Little Nicky when Hitler is in hell and he gets a pineapple shoved up his ass as a punishment for possibly being the worst human ever on this planet. We've all talked about people who will have "A special place in hell" reserved for them.

I had a friend pass away recently, and his brother went about 9 years before, so the prevailing sentiment is "Be sure to say hello to your brother for me" or something like that. Rock N' Roll fans think of a supergroup with people like Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix, Randy Rhoads, John Entwistle, and Charlie Watts playing in it.

Then there's the reincarnation theory. If you lived a good life, you come back as a puppy or something deemed to have a blessed existence, where if you were an asshole, you come back as a DMV clerk or an IRS accountant.

Those theories give us the sense that this is just phase one of a larger existence and that what we do here punches our ticket for the next chapter. As I have believed for some time, it is like mourning. We don't really mourn the dead, but rather the fact that the living can no longer have them in our lives.

I have chosen to believe that we are simply a different form of animal and therefore our lives and deaths are similar. When our heart stops and the body can no longer support life, it is the end. Not a pathway leading somewhere, but that's it, no more, game over.

I may be entirely wrong, but I have nobody that left us, arrived at this afterlife destination, then came back. So, as an Atheist, I go with the simplest theory is most likely the truth.

After a 30+ year career in healthcare, nearly 20 with the same company, that company is now closing the doors and going out of business. This is the company that kept me on the payroll when I was hit with the stroke, and allowed me to return to work on a limited schedule when I returned, among countless other things.

Not surprisingly, I don't find myself independently wealthy after that time in healthcare. I've had a good income and good life, but I'm afraid not working is not an option going forward. But, I'm not able to drive, have limited movement on my right side and sound like I've been in the dentist's chair all day. Narrow's the opportunity window, right?

In August I filed for disability, thinking I would get ahead of the game. HAHAHAHA. No such luck. They tell you it could be between 5 - 8 months before they will determine if you should be approved. 3 months in they are still hovering at the beginning of the medical review.

It's a shame they have had to make the system so difficult because so much fraud has tainted them, but they should be able to look quickly at my record and see that I applied for unemployment once, and got 1 check before I was back at work. I have worked since I was 16 and my working karma should earn me this when it is needed.

So, I'll just apply for work from home. After all, one of the things we learned during the pandemic (aside from how wonderful it was on the roads) was that most of us can do our work from home. But here again, most companies want you to be able to field calls, handle the finances, balance their budgets and manage their staff with no time off. Or it's a "hybrid remote" position, meaning at least once a week you need to come to an office and speak with people who can't email or chat online.

And for the jobs that don't require all of that, there's 27,000 applicants. "We'll get back with you soon."

This is the exact reason why a life used to be considered over once you have raised and taught your children to produce and be independent, and concluded your career. Otherwise, you get to spend who knows how long being a burden to those you raised to be independent.

Having spent that 30+ years working in senior healthcare, I have watched countless lives that were dragged on way past the point of logic, partially because we don't embrace the idea that over is over and while we have no problem putting down a 9 year old dog, we can't let a human say it's their time to be done.

Now please don't think I'm seeking an injection to be done. I would never do that unless I were deemed to be beyond help. But if I went to bed tonight and never woke again, I wouldn't feel that I was robbed of a single moment. Before you read this and think this screams depression, understand the difference between looking for a rope and being comfortable with mortality. In many cases, depression means "take 2 of these and call me next week". (unless you've ever been told you could possibly be allergic to the 12 ingredients you can't pronounce without a PHD) I've contributed plenty to the medical machine already. You're welcome pharma!

I guess for me now it's every day is another day. SSDD, now there's a motto!

[bokuroar]

haikyuu!! characters when you’re stressed in uni

characters: m. osamu, k. kenma, b. kōtarō, k. tetsurō x gn!reader (separate)

song suggestions: 1 2 3 4

❀ OSAMU is the one that keeps you sane. he gives you the personal space you need to be able to work but he checks up on you at least once every hour. if he’s at home, he’d always sneak in a cup of cold water before leaving a kiss on your forehead and a “you’ve got this, baby.” if he’s at work, he sends in texts from time to time remind you that it’s lunchtime and it’s time to eat the food he has already prepared in the morning when he found out it’s going to be a busy day for you. osamu makes sure you never skip on healthy meals and you get enough sleep to function well. sometimes, it boils down to osamu carrying you from your desk to trap cuddle you in bed so you could lie down and relax. for him, taking care of you and your needs is the least he could do while you chase your dreams.

❀ staying up until the wee hours of daylight is less lonelier with a company like KENMA. discord is the third party in your relationship and you have no idea how many screenshots kenma has on his computer from your calls. since high school, he has grown accustomed to pulling an all nighter albeit for non-academic reasons. he doesn’t mind staying up for games before but now there’s you, he actually began to love it. there’s just a comfort and a sense of security in knowing that you are both awake at the same time. hearing kenma’s soft hums to familiar tunes and the random conversations during your short breaks are the absolute best breathers you can ask for. as the world succumbs to slumber, you are shaken awake by love in the form of quality time with kenma.

❀ TETSURŌ goes out of his way to give his support. even before getting together, he has always been your go-to for academic advices because he is as huge of a nerd as he is an athlete; he makes learning fun more than it really is. from color-coded reviewers to flash cards that will earn you a kiss when you get an answer right which escalates into more sometimes, kuroo just never just runs out of ideas. and he always has time for you, too. once kuroo figures out you need extra help, he’d drop everything and rush to you. you are his priority. you don’t have just a boyfriend, what you got is a partner who inspires and helps you to be the best version of yourself, all while holding your hand.

❀ you could always count on KŌTARŌ to be your sunshine. you don’t know how he does it but a bad day is no match for bokuto’s smiles. failure is inevitable, you both know that much—him on his games, yours on your exams. although failing doesn’t completely hinder success, it hurts just the same, a familar feeling to bokuto hence he knows just what to say and what to do. the last thing you see before you leave the house is his encouraging smile and two thumbs up cheering you on. as you get home, the second he sees your tired face, he pulls you into a hug without saying a word, gently swaying you and rubbing your back, easing all the burden you feel on your shoulders. there are times too when he knows you need some space to cope with it, so he lets you know he’s there for you when you need him by leaving sticky notes on your desk that says, “i love you and i’m proud of you! im just outside waiting with a hug ok! :D” you’re not the best 100% of the time, it’s true, but bokuto proves you don’t have to be to deserve the things that make you happy.

feedback is always appreciated (ꈍᴗꈍ)♡

a/n: i literally just finished my preliminary exams n im sO tired i think i could’ve performed so much better but i don’t really wanna sulk over it,, but anw this is my coping mechanism disguised as headcanons lmao i hope u enjoy ! 🌸

[izicodes]

could you please tell us more about what SheCodes is?? Maybe you could answer this ask later once you’ve had time to really get familiar with it if you don’t know much yourself right now :))

i’m just suuper curious about it, is it free and what stuff do they teach you, will you share your progress from it?

SheCodes (L I N K) is an online coding Bootcamp that is more targeted toward women. SheCodes helps bridge the gender gap in the tech programming industry by training more women to join tech roles as women currently hold 25% of coding jobs and earn 30% less money than men. SheCodes' mission is to change all of that.

They offer to train you through 3 steps:

Product Development: How the Internet works, Frontend development & basic coding practices

Product Design: Basics of UX and UI

Product Management: How to validate an idea, the tools to manage a project and how to have conversations with developers

SheCodes is self-paced so you can study very quickly if you have lots of time on your hands but, for people like me, who have school and work, you can do little at a time and complete in your own time. There is no rush, it's up to you.

Companies like Google, Facebook, IKEA, and Zara highly recommend SheCodes and SheCodes has been the ‘Best Coding Bootcamp of the Year’ in 2020 and 2021, so they are one of the best!

SheCodes Express

This workshop is completely free and it’s 60 minutes long. It's online and live. You’ll have to reserve your spot as it’s very popular but they talk about:

◎ Learn about popular coding languages and technologies today

◎ Discover some trends in the industry

◎ Learn how coding knowledge can be useful for you

◎ Get some of your coding questions answered

◎ Find out more about SheCodes Workshops

→  → link to the workshop ← ←

SheCodes Basics

△ £79 one-time payment (check in your currency)

△ 3 weeks with 5 hours of work (Part-Time) or 1 week with 20 hours of work (Full-Time)

△ Perks: Homework and project review, Live chat support, Weekly deadline, Lifetime access

△ Technology learnt: 

→ ◎ HTML5

→ ◎ CSS3

→ ◎ JavaScript

→ ◎ Code Editor

△ Produce 1 real-life project

△ Get a verified certificate at the end

→  → link to the workshop ← ←

SheCodes Plus

△ £599 OR £249 per month for 3 months (check in your currency)

△ 12 weeks with 5 hours of work a week (Part-Time) or 4 weeks with 20 hours of work a week  (Full-Time)

△ Perks: Homework and project review, Live chat support, Weekly deadline, Lifetime access

△ Technology learnt: 

→ ◎ HTML5

→ ◎ CSS3

→ ◎ Advanced JavaScript

→ ◎ Code Editor

→ ◎ API

→ ◎ GitHub

→ ◎ Bootstrap

→ ◎ Hosting

△ Produce 2 real-life project

△ Get a verified certificate at the end

→  → link to the workshop ← ←

SheCodes Plus React

△ £790 OR £249 per month for 4 months (check in your currency)

△ 8 weeks with 5 hours of work a week (Part-Time) or 3 weeks with 20 hours of work a week  (Full-Time)

△ Perks: Homework and project review, Live chat support, Weekly deadline, Lifetime access

△ Technology learnt: 

→ ◎ HTML5

→ ◎ CSS3

→ ◎ Advanced JavaScript

→ ◎ Code Editor

→ ◎ API

→ ◎ GitHub

→ ◎ Bootstrap

→ ◎ Hosting

→ ◎ React

△ Produce 2 real-life project

△ Get 3 verified certificates at the end

→  → link to the workshop ← ←

SheCodes Pro

This is a new and the most expensive workshop they have - not included in the image above because it has its own tab in the navigation bar. This is the workshop I chose and will be starting next week.

△ £990 OR £199 per month for 6 months (check in your currency)

△ 6 months with 5 hours of work a week (Part-Time) or 8 weeks with 20 hours of work a week  (Full-Time)

△ Includes all of the other workshops combined

△ Perks: Homework and project review, Live chat support, Weekly deadline, Lifetime access

△ Technology learnt: 

→ ◎ HTML5

→ ◎ CSS3

→ ◎ Basic and Advanced JavaScript

→ ◎ Code Editor

→ ◎ API

→ ◎ GitHub

→ ◎ Bootstrap

→ ◎ Hosting

→ ◎ React

→ ◎ Flexbox

→ ◎ SEO

→ ◎ Responsive

△ Produce 4 real-life project

△ Get 4 verified certificates at the end

→  → link to the workshop ← ←

There are discounts available if you are a student or unemployed. They tend to be up to 30% off which is nice! The discounts apply to all of the workshops.

Other discounts come from people who are in partnerships with SheCodes such as influencers in the tech community or just students/ex-students of SheCodes like Mili.Codes (link) who has given out a 20% discount for all of the workshops (link) I used her discount on the SheCodes Pro and I don't have to pay £199 but instead £159 which is nice!

The SheCodesFoundation (link) is available for women who are refugees and they can apply and get all of the workshops for free. This gives the opportunity to those who don't have the luxury to succeed as well. Every time someone buys any of the workshops, 10% of that goes right to the foundation which is very smart and sweet.

I just signed up last night and my class starts on Mon 29th Aug. I am very excited. The classes are pre-recorded so it is very much self-paced. You have to submit homework every Monday. I haven't read my pre-class to-do list yet, as I was slowly falling asleep, the website is easy to use and you get connected with other students as well!

I will definitely post more on this to track myself! I think I will do most of the work on the weekends (Fri-Sun) as I still have my apprenticeship to do!