#leach ingram

[goatedtoasts]

wow i sure do love the hit album Take This To The Hall by pop punk band and Kansas City blaseball team The Death Mints. its such a classic wow

[acaciaww]

cards

[library-whale]

My breeding pair for a Kansas City Breath Mints fandragon happened to give me the color combo I needed twice in the same nest, and uh...

...thanks to someone on maincord convincing me to keep the “extra” I wound up with two Blaseball fandragons for the price of one.

(Leach didn't even HAVE Ghost prior to this... but I was gonna wind up Silhouette Scroll-ing someone anyways and I already named The Breath Mints.)

[blaseballshipbracket]

BLASEBALL SHIP BRACKET ROUND 1

64 ships enter, one ship leaves! who will reign supreme? how will your faves fare? it's a tlournament for the ages!

this is a seeded bracket generated from ships suggested in a google form. round 1 begins thursday, 03/30/23 and will run for one week. propaganda is encouraged - tag this blog and i'll share it!

ROUND 1 MATCHUPS:

Megan Ito/Parker MacMillan VS Leon Duncan/Andrew Trebek

Finn James/Kennedy Loser VS Hewitt Best/Yeong-Ho Garcia

Flattery McKinley/Niq Nyong'o VS Jessica Telephone/Betsy Trombone

Tillman Henderson/Declan Suzanne VS Don Mitchell/Percival Wheeler

Baldwin Breadwinner/Alyssa Harrell VS Axel Cardenas/Miguel Wheeler

Dominic Marijuana/Andrew Solis VS Eduardo Ingram/Leach Ingram

Pedro Davids/Valentine Games VS Anathema Elemefayo/Patty Fox/Hatfield Suzuki

Stevenson Heat/James Mora VS Baby Triumphant/Castillo Turner

Yosh Carpenter/Sebastian Woodman VS Cannonball Sports/Bees Taswell

Igneus Delacruz/Howell Franklin VS Mcdowell Mason/Sexton Wheerer

Allison Abbott/Kichiro Guerra VS Eugenia Garbage/Ziwa Mueller

Caleb Alvarado/Isaac Johnson VS Conner Haley/Sebastian Telephone

Brock Forbes/Adalberto Tosser VS Domino Bootleg/Theodore Honeywell

Lenny Marijuana/Chorby Short VS Moody Cookbook/Landry Violence

Margarito Nava/Nic Winkler VS Riley Firewall/Geraldine Frost

Inez Owens/Bees Taswell VS Paula Turnip/Hiroto Wilcox

Tyreek Olive/Landry Violence VS Fitzgerald Blackburn/Math Velazquez

Val Hitherto/Nerd Pacheco VS Ortiz Lopez/Pitching Machine

Luis Acevedo/Tot Clark VS Derrick Krueger/Sebastian Telephone

The San Francisco Lovers VS Gita Sparrow/Jayden Wright

Tillman Henderson/Mike Townsend VS Famous Owens/Mclaughlin Scorpler

Alaynabella Hollywood/Magi Ruiz VS Nerd Pacheco/Lars Taylor

Nagomi Mcdaniel/York Silk's Mom VS Qais Dogwalker/Grollis Zephyr

Jacob Haynes/Alaynabella Hollywood/Moses Mason VS Burke Gonzalez/Brock Watson/Joshua Watson

Jaylen Hotdogfingers/Jessica Telephone VS Juice Collins/Sutton Dreamy

Sandford Garner/Don Mitchell VS Famous Owens/Nerd Pacheco

Rivers Rosa/Lou Roseheart VS Jode Crutch/Rush Ito

Declan Suzanne/Edric Tosser/Baby Triumphant VS Lady Matsuyama/Bottles Šuljak

Cornelius Games/Richardson Games VS Mags Banananana/Eugenia Bickle

Workman Gloom & PolkaDot Patterson VS Shannon Chamberlain/Kennedy Loser

Caligula Lotus/Beck Whitney VS Steals Mondegreen/Silvaire Semiquaver

Summers Preston/Stephanie Winters VS Haruta Byrd/Bright Zimmerman

[caligulalotus]

i'm still being perfectly normal about this, btw.

leach ingram and rodriguez internet have pages again too. they're all on the teams they were on when the world ended (cows and paws) and they all have brand new modifiers. leach and rodnet have "in the desert" and cas has "in the field" and the desert makes total sense but there is so much to in the field?? because it implies the map we saw is different than the black hole itself somehow??? where the fuck are they can they come back please?? also their stats are all really good.

SO WAS ANYONE GONNA TELL ME CASTILLO TURNER’S PLAYER PAGE IS BACK OR WAS I GONNA HAVE TO FIND THAT OUT MYSELF????

[numbersninja]

Here it is, my hiatus project… EVERY SINGLE player that’s ever been on the Breath Mints roster (plus one that could have been). Not counting short circuits or funko pops for sanity reasons, but otherwise everyone’s here baby

[ghostsense]

Not in Kansas anymore

[taketheringtolohac]

domesticity meme w/ leacheddie??

oh... THE married people... yeah ok here we go

big spoon/little spoon: leach obviously. she's 6'9 eddie is like, normal people height

favorite non-sexual activity: driving. they race down the highway. this is not safe. when they race eddie usually flies. but also they DO ride together on leach's motorcycle

who uses all the hot water: yeah that's also leach but she doesnt shower THAT often (lich things) so its usually not that much of a problem

most trivial thing they fight over: whether or not its healthy to drink mountain dew all the time. this USED to be a fight about monster energy, but eddie won that one too many times and now she only drinks monster for special occasions (or when she's upset. or when he can't see her)

who does most of the cleaning: eddie definitely does, he loves his wife but she is really not the cleanest person by FAR. not that he minds that much

what has a season pass on their dvr/who controls the netflix queue: neither they pirate. but in terms of picking movies and stuff eddie because leach insists that she doesn't care but really she just wants to hear him talk about the things that he likes

who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working: if they don't call hewitt first, it's eddie but only because last time leach did it she almost got sued

who steals the blankets: eddie <3 he is small (in comparison) but he likes to be cozy <3

who leaves their stuff around: honestly? both of them. like, leach obviously but shes just like that EVERYWHERE. eddie is the one who actively gets things lost and she has to help him find it

who remembers to buy the milk: yeah also ed i mean im sure leach tries sometimes but she shows up with like... milk from 7/11...

who remembers anniversaries: LEACH. she might not look it but shes the biggest sap she never gets up early but she ALWAYS does on their anniversary. every single one of them. and theres a LOT of anniversaries bc theyre the type of couple that celebrates like, the day they fist kissed the day they had their first date their engagement etc etc

Who cooks normally? Eddie because last time leach tried to cook lets just say. it did not end well. he said it tasted good anyways and he genuinely believed it at the time. the power of love? i guess?

How often do they fight? almost never. when they do its resolved pretty quickly only because they seem to communicate silently since they've been doing this for like, forever

What do they do when they’re away from each other? Eddie embroiders and other stitch craft type things, Leach just sort of. hangs around empty places and fucks around for fun which gives her a Reputation around kc

Nicknames for each other? leach calls him Ed, but other than that not really

Who is more likely to pay for dinner? Eddie because if leach had her way they'd dine and dash every time after slipping cash to the waiter

What would they get each other for gifts? both things that are deeply personal and meaningful that they hold onto forever and reference things that have happened to them in their many lives and also like. here's a craft i made at the kids center and an acorn that reminded me of you. these also all get saved.

Who kissed who first? eddie <3 leach mightve done everything else first but he beat her to this one

Who remembers things? eddie usually but for some VERY specific things leach's mind is like a steel trap

Who started the relationship? leach but like, eddie didn't realize they were dating for WEEKS.

Who cusses more? leach obviously. but eddie curses WAY more than people expect him to

What would they do if the other was hurt? well. eddie dies in canon. i wrote a whole fic about that. but on a more minor scale leach fusses over him to no end, eddie does it too but WAY less than she does when he's hurt

Send me a pairing and i'll do this thing for them!

[polkadotzavala]

Leach Ingram and Atlas Guerra for the character asks 👀

HIIII CAZZZ!!!

for leach-

favorite thing about them: Leach Ingram returned from Elsewhere after 2 days! - Leach Ingram hits a solo home run! The Meadow inflates 1 Balloons! - Breath Mints 2, Lift 1. - The Kansas City Breath Mints are your season 22 Internet League Blaseball Champions!

least favorite thing about them: doesnt obey fda regulations for proper food storage

favorite line: "“Leach Ingram. You have created an angel. You should not have been able to do that.”"

brOTP: leach and rod are besties in the desert at the moment, theyre inventing all kinds of silly little stories to pass the time on this really weird dog themed boat theyre stuck on with no way to pilot

OTP: Eddie :)

nOTP: most people honstly, notedly, she doesnt even fucking ATTEMPT to be nice to the other members of the paws, silent treatment at best, cussing people out at worst

random headcanon: shes scarily good at chess, poker, and uno, decently good at the rest but Scary good at those three mostly because shes good at kayfabe

unpopular opinion: leach should be allowed to kill

song i associate with them: My Last Breath - Evanescense

favorite picture of them: the image in my head of her wearing a crop top over a wedding dress drinking baha blast

for atlas-

favorite thing about them: ideal woman, also the fire powers part

least favorite thing about them: Let Her Out Of The Shadows The Game Band Please

favorite line: that part where shes undeafeated in all her post season appearances

brOTP: on and off patchy friendship with donia bailey

OTP: had a thing with rush valenzuela once or twice, at least one divorce speedrun for the fuck of it during grand siesta, i think in the long run her and twooney start to realize more similarities they have then differences

nOTP: shes punched mike townsend square in the jaw before and would do it again

random headcanon: shes better at cookies/brownies/cakes when helping eiz bc she gets dristracted kneading dough and sometimes burns it a little

unpopular opinion: she can do no wrong actually (/j)

song i associate with them: pulaski at night - andrew bird

favorite picture of them: https://twitter.com/necromngo/status/1420997012959358977?s=21

[anomaly-beans-draws]

Realized I never dropped her here, but seeing as she helped us win last minute…

Here’s Leach Ingram!

[thesunshinydays]

I don’t really know how requests work but I really like 4A so maybe that and a blaseballer you really love

A 2-for-1 with some of my favorite not pies!!!!! I just think they should hang out 

Send me a blaseball character and an outfit from this post and I’ll doodle them in it

[chaotic-carnifex]

I'm literally crylaughing, couldn't have made up a better game if we got to script these

Me, in discord vc, before the game: "I wonder if Leach will come back this game, would be fun"

Me, in the SplortsHub twitch chat during top of the 8th, in keeping with Mints tradition: "Little known fact: the Mints come alive in the bottom of the 8th!"

Joey T. Badger: *actually reads my message out loud oh shit??*

Breath Mints: *do in fact come alive in the bottom of the 8th??!! What is this sorcery???!!!*

Leach: *comes back and immediately hits the goddamn clutch dinger that wins us the game???!! Holy shit what*

Like what the fuck even was that game oh my god

This postseason has sure been something. The 3 game winning streak against the Crabs, Winnie pitching a perfect first game against the Lift, XIII Death Mints having a winning score of 13 against the Lift in the 2nd game and now this. I just can't with this team oh my god

[viciathief]

eddie ingram i miss u so much,,,

[whatifyandsand]

oh, y’know. The Death Mints.

[lenasai]

this week in blaseball: season 22

we made lōotcrates tweet a giant wall of text

a visual bug made it look like everyone was playing for the away team in the first set of games

the glove got an underhanded item and killed the cold fries economy for a while

PITCHING MACHINE......2!! (their name is pitchy and we all fell in love with them immediately.)

max got voicemailed out, did a cannonball into the shadow dunk tank just enough to edge out mike townsend (by 0.1 batting stars!), then got voicemailed back in two games later

either og parker has always been trying to breach containment and we just couldn't see it...or he's just starting to try escaping

sosa hayes picked up the fifth base just long enough to roam to the dale before setting it right back down in the bubble

the tigers ambushed a klong

new megan ito (replicas) real

flattery mckinley picked up the fifth base and put it down twice in one game

raúl leal haunted kennedy loser just long enough to get their peanut allergy cured and then immediately hit a ground out

max went from idol immune to economy relevant thanks to picking up credit to the team from glover and was on the idol board until xe lost it

tot clark and malik destiny became unstable in the same game twice, the second time resulting in a danger game that tot miraculously survived. the garages (and anyone who wanted to join in) actually broke the swear roomba on discord by yelling FUCK over and over until the game ended.

the tigers hosted party time.

rejoice, more herrings be upon ye!

phantom thieves guild got ratified and everyone thought it was great until they realized it sometimes steals players from other teams' shadows

the shoe thieves' new megan ito became the first thief to steal shoes in-game

BAT TOWNSEND REAL

jaylen hotdogfingers partied and hit 14 combined stars....IT'S THE NUMBER

mike townsend scored the point that got the garages to 6.9 points THREE TIMES. it's like a signature move now...call that the "nice townsend"

speaking of mike townsend...MIKE TOWNSEND ALSO HIT A GRAND SLAM

the wings got their shadows picked apart by the thieves guilds

a liquid friend replica with a fireproof item got beaned in the postseason

silvaire roadhouse actually managed to not kill anyone!

the sunbeams, known for their weather-assisted underbracket speedrun in season 21, looped the lift twice to help them do a weather-assisted speedrun of the overbracket

fans reacted to the breath mints taking the mild league championship by tweeting "The Breath Mints" so many times it started trending on twitter

leach ingram came back from elsewhere just in time to hit the game-winning dinger that landed the breath mints the championship

what if you wanted to (un)win the underbracket but clare ballard ii said "no"

The Breath Mints.

the anchor is going to be SO MAD.