#lbr we know what sort of texts shes sending him

[spitsfire]

❓ from eritvita 👀👀

👀 a nsfw text

[text] hey rockerboy [text] there's a surprise waiting for you in your dressing room, lil good luck charm for your show tonight [text] [img attachment: mirror selfie of herself wearing a faux fur jacket of his... and seemingly nothing else underneath] [text] ♡

[kmze]

Why do people refuse to see that Stefan was the more dangerous and evil at core brother and not some Disney prince boyfriend?I'm not saying this.It's right there in the text in season 1 episode 6.Katherine pointed it out about baby human 17 year old Stefan circa 1864.Unlike Damon who could be seduced to darkness because mommy issues,daddy issues,Stefan had pre-meditation and calculation to his ability to go dark PRE-VAMPIRISM.To quote Katherine "something tells me you like to play it rougher".You know Katherine Pierce who could play people like a fiddle.Stefan played others too just like katherine.Damon role- played a bad boy.Stefan was the ultimate bad boy.When he was good it was because he was wanting to be good for a reason be it good or convenience but when he was bad,boy,he enjoyed being bad.Because he was an addict with no control over himself or his self-contradictions.

LOL he looks like a Disney prince that's why! Kidding, sort of... in all honesty I think it's because stans in this fandom will always focus on how their ship (or LBR their guy) isn't toxic and that's why he's the better choice. When you do that you back yourself into a corner and it's so hard to criticize or even talk about a character's flaws because then it becomes a discussion about toxicity and ships. I remember a discussion had started on here about how Stefan is very manipulative, he knows how to read people and situations extremely well and he always used it to his advantage.

He did it so much in S1 with Elena and how he would only feed her information about himself when the opportunity worked in his favor, like when she found out about Katherine he softened the blow from that with surprise your adopted something he knew for months. Then we talked about how he manipulated Caroline when it came to NH!Elena getting her to promise not to give up on her and getting her to stop calling her a backstabbing bitch even though she deserved it. This opened the floodgates to so many questions and everyone questioning if every interaction between them was manipulation on Stefan's point and it was exhausting. It was exhausting because THAT'S WHO HE IS! He knows how to "play the game" and he knows what players he needs to play the game. Katherine and Stefan both saw that Caroline was good at providing a distraction on command or using her charm to get information out of people, that's why I felt Katherine said she liked the poetry of Caroline.

It's not even like the show doesn't TELL you that Stefan is the more sadistic brother, like all of S3 was basically about that. Klaus was interested in Stefan because he was inspired by Ripper Stefan's sadism, he thought Damon was a joke when he offered to switch spots with him. Even Cade was more interested in Stefan and when he talked with Damon he was like nah send your brother down here that's the monster I really want. You had Katherine and Klaus both point out how Stefan was the more sadistic one (I love that line from her in 1x06) but fandom was APPALLED that NH!Caro would be so cruel to Stefan without her humanity because he wasn't like that (I swear this was an actual discussion that happened). I do think the show missed an opportunity in S8 with having Ripper Stefan be an actual big bad, it might have opened more people's eyes to how evil he truly could be. What made him interesting is despite all that sadism at his core he had extreme empathy and him being an addict meant he fought between the two extremes constantly.

[ayzrules]

✶ 𝐇𝐗𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐒: 𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 & 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒, 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 & 𝐃𝐀𝐌𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍   Long story short, I have been thinking about this for wayyyyy too long now and wanted to get some ~thoughts~ & analysis written down! This post is going to be...fairly long, lol. Apologies in advance :D

  Also, if you can’t see the last gif (the one for ‘holy’), click here. Tumblr keeps fucking up the image when i try to upload it :////

  This post is probably going to be about 2/3 yorknew & phantom troupe/kurapika focused, 1/3 chimera ants, maybe with some references to other arcs (including manga-only arcs) mixed in. so, ofc, tons of spoilers ahead! also, i realize that my blog theme is hard to read (and i’m p sure clicking ���keep reading’ sends you to the og post itself), so i’m linking the post w/ full text copy/pasted in on my art backup side blog (which has a more legible font) here. 

✶ 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇   I’m sure absolutely nobody is surprised with me starting here - there is just. SO. MUCH. DEATH. in hxh. & right from the start, one thing I noticed that togashi really emphasized was the #4 and its connection to death. in japanese, chinese, and im p sure some other asian cultures the number 4 is pronounced like the word for death so it’s associated with death in general, and boy oh boy does the ‘deadly number 4′ thing show up E V E R Y W H E R E. we get to the hunter exam, and hisoka is applicant #44. kurapika is #404. i didn’t notice it at first, but this was so intentional holy shit. togashi is NOT SUBTLE.

  So pika & hisoka are, right off the bat, associated with death. okay. and then there are even more clues to drive the point home: hisoka is member #4 in the phantom troupe, kurapika’s birthday is april 4th (aka 4/4). 100% not a coincidence (!!). with hisoka, it’s pretty obvious why togashi’s throwing all this death 444444 stuff around - dude is a psycho murder pedo clown, literally gets off on killing people (and there’s also the fact that judas sits 4th from the left in the last supper painting, and he’s sort of the judas equivalent for the phantom troupe). with kurapika, though, it’s a bit more subtle and woven deeper into his characterization, which i LOVE. togashi puts the mans in blue & gold & white (traditionally ‘pure’ or ‘heavenly’ colors), makes him so fucking kind & so good-hearted.....when he’s not relentlessly pursuing his revenge, ofc. more on this in the next section, but pika = death. togashi has made that v v v clear.

  Backtracking a bit to hisoka, though, I also just wanted to point out the 4 is death symbolism in the fortunes too (GOD i love the fortunes): in one translation, he’s the false fourth moon, and in the og japanese (i think), he’s the false hare (4th in the lunar zodiac or w/e it’s called. i don’t know the japanese cultural influences here, but in the chinese legend that established the zodiac animals, they race across the heavenly river & the top 12 animals got zodiac slots. the hare finished 4th, so it’s #4 in the cycle). 

  And just as a final note, Tserriednich is the fourth prince of the kakin empire, and also another dude who has a hard-on for murder & other gory shit. again: togashi is not subtle with this, lmfao

✶ 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐘, 𝐔𝐍𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐘   As probably everyone who’s gotten to yorknew knows, togashi is so 0 fucks given when he wants to be. I mean there’s the whole thing where he just. took New York and decided, Yorknew. LMFAO, but also, he made the main antag of that arc be named chrollo lucilfer, sit around in a ruined church, have a reversed cross coat, pale & dark-haired/dark-eyed, generally dressed in dark colors, very terrible murder guy. liiiike......chrollo x devil symbolism game is 1000/10 at this point lmaooo

  And i know absolutely nothing about christianity in general, but pt/kurapika & yorknew arc is just so full of christian imagery/symbolism! one thing that i L O O O O O O V E though is how togashi really blurs the traditional christian-coded good/evil, holy/damned boundaries.

  Back to kurapika: he wears gold and blue, his coloring is very stereotypically ‘angelic’, he’s precious and good and kind. his chains are all about ~judgment~ and ~healing~ - some of the chains are also in literal cross shapes, aren’t they? And the chain dagger in his own heart...the imagery is very startlingly similar to the immaculate heart of mary, where the swords stabbing thru the heart apparently represent seven sorrows. IDK much about this stuff other than the visual similarities; literally had to google ‘daggers through heart christianity?’ to even get the name of that thing LOL. anyway, at first, it seems like togashi establishes him as the ‘angel’, the ‘good’, the ‘holy’ in the angel/devil, good/evil, holy/damned dichotomy between him and chrollo.

  But that’s not the end of the story. his entire storyline is driven by a huuuuuuuge giant desire for vengeance, first of all, and then there’s the scarlet eyes, which canonically are seen as demonic/cursed/what have you (according to one of the movies or smth? where they show pika as a 10 y/o?), and then we also have red eyes in modern culture being associated w pretty much the same thing (vampires, anyone?). the fight scene with uvo has everything in b&w besides the blood on his face & his red eyes & the moon (<<< more fortune foreshadowing & symbolism, i love to see it), and there are tonssss of scenes where he has to suppress his rage. so all of that is obviously not very angelic of him i would say LOL. in fact, what i find super interesting is that the scarlet/red eyes (which are ‘demonic’) is actually the driving factor behind his super powerful nen abilities; this ties in so well with the fortunes & death associations imo! the fortunes call him the ‘death-bringer’ in one translation, or ‘half-angel, half-death’, so that’s one side of pika = red eyes = death, but there’s also the fact that emperor time is literally draining his life force. so pika = death for both himself and others namely the pt, question mark?

  Now for chrollo: togashi’s devil symbolism is EXTREMELY overt with him, but i love the subtler jesus references too. the church thing, obviously, and the st. peters cross which is cuz st peter respected jesus too much & didn’t think he was worthy to die in the same way as him (or something like that, i am the most atheist person in the world & hxh is literally my entire christian education pls) but is also used as an anti-christianity symbol these days. bandit’s secret looks like a bible, lbr, and mans has a cross tattoo.

  Other things beyond visuals - 12 spiders, 12 apostles; hisoka’s betrayal, where member #4 can be thought to correspond to judas sitting 4th from left at last supper. and this miiiiight be a bit of a stretch, but i think the meteor city being the place of origin may also play into the blurred line between angel/devil and holy/damned here; meteors are defined as space rocks that are in earth’s atmosphere, becoming incandescent in the process. meteorites are for the kinds that actually reach the ground. and idk, lucifer was cast out of heaven / sky too right? so i think there might be some subtle fallen angel imagery/symbolism playing into the pt as well

✶ 𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 (𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒)   Last section yay! i don’t have as much to say about this, besides when i was making chimera ant arc edits & realized that there might have been some subtle gon/meruem parallels???

  So obviously, everyone knows that line killua says to gon - “you are light” - and then i was just remembering that meruem’s name means.... “light that illuminates all” (!!!!). maybe it’s a coincidence, but knowing togashi, i’m leaning towards nahhhh. there HAS TO be some kinda meaning there (!!).

  Going back to the events of the chimera ant arc....ooh boy. let’s see: gon is optimistic & hopeful even in the face of kite potentially being dead, killua says he’s light, they find kite & dude is fucked up, gon is pissed. gets all angry & ~dark~, especially during the palace invasion when he’s staring pitou down as she fixes up komugi. then the actual fight against pitou: more darkness, more anger, but through it all there’s still light, namely his jajanken being very orange & fiery lookin.....and that final sequence, where he puts all his possible nen he’d ever have into his ~final form~ or wahtever & turns into a male version of true form!bisky but dressed in a crop top & short-shorts (i am SCARRED, btw. s c a r r e d !). there’s just huuuge flashes of light as that’s going on, and it reminded me of supernovas or dying stars when i was thinking about it, where the star is like, collapsing under its own weight? & burning thru its own fuel, until there’s nothing left except a dwarf or black hole or what have you. one final, extremely deadly burst of light & energy before death.

  On the meruem side of things: born into a dark cave, exhibits a traditionally evil/cruel/wicked/whatever personality/traits so that has ppl associating him with darkness. then he gets to know komugi, starts to appreciate other aspects of humanity, seems like he could have actually turned into a decent person who doesn’t want to eat everyone - so that’s a ‘path to light’, maybe? - and then the extermination team yeets themselves into the palace, netero takes him out to bumfuck nowhere, they fight. netero’s fighting is just ALL light, from his giant ass golden 100-type guanyin bodhisattva to the poor man’s rose. again, there’s the sense of finality to it all, in a similar vein to dying stars: netero comes in determined to kill meruem no matter what, and we all know netero doesn’t flake. then we see netero get destroyed after the zero hand, and he triggers the rose, and everything is burning & on fire before the flames are put out and all turns dark again.

  But wait!!! pouf & youpi revive meruem and all he does is play gungi with komugi, even with the poison of the rose. he eventually dies, and the gungi pieces in that final shot of them together (i am BAWLING just thinking about it holy shit) has one that’s all white, one that’s a black ring and white inside. i assume all white is for komugi, who has never done ANYTHING wrong in her LIFE, so i like to think that the 2nd one is for meruem - born “into darkness”, literally & figuratively, but he turns something like ‘good’ by the end. it’s interesting how togashi has sort of gone for a bit of a subversion here: the hero going from light to darkness, and the main antag from darkness to light.

✶ 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐋𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍   AahhhhHHHHHhhh so if you read all the way down here through my LONG rambles, tysm! i would LOVE LOVE LOVE to hear what other people think about all this, and i’ve FOR SURE missed tons and tons of stuff - chimera ants is just. SO MUCH. and i don’t know it as well as yorknew eeek.

  I’m not sure if i’m really ~knowledgeable~ in any other areas relating to hxh, so this might be the only one of these that i do, but i definitely think about some of this - esp all the religious symbolism & #4 stuff - a ton! so in the meantime, if it’s of any interest, i’m just going to shamelessly plug my hxh x religious beliefs/superstitions edit series :D lots of love to all!!!

[coramvobis]

Imagine an South Korea!AU where Seo Dan and Seri are both chaebols... (part 1 because this is getting out of hand)

Obvs, Seri and Jeong Hyeok are married already bc this STORY IS ABOUT DAN AND HER HAPPINESS SO TAKE A BACK SEAT BINJIN.

Jeong Hyeok, pianist, whatever. Sickeningly in love with Seri. Seri is basically the same as CLOY, just got the man AND IS BEST FRIENDS WITH DAN EVEN THO DAN WOULD NEVER SAY IT OUT LOUD

My boy Seung Joon, a poor boy who’s living in a shitty small ass closet of an apartment. He’s just gotten fired from his job bc he prob gives out free shit or something to old ladies and loses profit or whatever that he did as a job

Now Dan is obvs CEO of you guessed it, her moms cosmetic department store but imagine it’s like a chain now and it’s big and international. That’s prob how she met Seri, two strong women in the business. Instead of competing they got together and TAKE DOWN ANY MAN WHO THINKS THEY CAN WALK OVER THEM

So Dan, workaholic, doesn’t take care of herself very well bc she wanna make her moms company the best she can. Doesn’t date v often and so her mom is like dan u need to go out more!!! You can’t just hole up in your office everyday, you’re at the perfect age for marriage and kids!!

Dan, not having it, bc single is the new trend right? (IM CRYING) basically brushes her mom off n was like I don’t need that kind of burden right now and was like I don’t have time to cater to a mans ego where they want to be the alpha and like her to be a docile housewife. And listed all the things that she doesn’t wanna deal with when being with a guy.

Mom, I swear she’s my fave, like second to seo dan. Mom being the smart ass bitch that she is, went and posted an ad, like discreetly Ofc, looking for a stay at home husband. And proceed to like list all the requirements.

Guess what. seung joon saw the ad and was like this sounds fun and totally replied to the ad. Not knowing it’s for like a fucking millionaire or whatever.

Comes the day of interview, mom went thru all the candidates, some were plain ugly (dan has taste and she doesn’t want her grand babies to b ugly), some were creepy (like srsly), and some just outright lied on their app and did NOT in fact want to be a stay at home husband but wants to “fix” her daughter.

So this is where our boy seung Joon comes in right. With his charming suave self and a killer smile, charmed the pants off mom and landed himself a trial period of 6 months.

U might be wondering. After mom set it all up, she went to see Dan and told her the good news. Dan was HELLLLAAA PISSED Ofc and was like MOM WTF DID U DO. Moms like I found u a suitable candidate! And bc nobody can out argue her mom, dan is like ok fine, I’ll try it for 6 months but if it doesn’t work out u can’t interfere in my personal life ever again. Mom Ofc agreed bc mom knows everything.

So fastforward.

Seung Joon is literally the perfect stay at home husband(fiancé???). He realized this is literally his dream life. He gets to live with a gorgeous woman and take care of her and don’t have to work????

Every day seung joon would cook her breakfast (which dan is like ??? Bc her breakfast was a cup of coffee), prepare her lunch with like a cute lil note about how he hopes her day is going well, or not to forget to take a break, or something cheesy n cute ok. Like it just shows he cares. When dan comes home he’d have dinner ready and he would b like the devoted husband and ask about her day n everything (Ofc at the beginning she’s prob like only replying with one word or two, then slowly she starts to say a little more when she realized he actually wanna hear about her day.) when dan stays late at the office, he would bring dinner to her and stay just enough to watch her finish dinner. Then one day he just shows up to pick her up from work BY WAITING OUTSIDE HER BUILDING UNTIL SHE COMES OUT. And so after that dan just sends him a txt when she’s about to leave so he doesn’t have to sit and wait. And SEUNG JOON BECAME HER DRIVER TOO. They just spend a lot of time together ok. Whenever Dan isn’t working, he tries to be with her. Bc he’s in love.

Lbr seung joon fell in love with her like at first sight ok. He just wants to know everything about her and wants to care for her and just make sure she knows she’s not alone and she can rely on him too bc he’s there for her and her only. He wants to be the person that she depends on, the person she shares her thought and emotions with. He wants to make her happy.

So they ended up with a routine of sorts. They started texting each other throughout the day (ok seung joon txts her and she just subconsciously smiles at it bc it’s always something stupid or flirty or just something so very seung joon, but she secretly like it even tho she doesn’t know why)

Seung joon takes her on spontaneous little dates when she’s free. He makes sure she’s having fun, he tried to teach her how to make food once and it ended terribly but it was hilarious and they were LAUGHING AND JUST CUTE.

I can’t.

Six month mark coming up right. Seung joon knew already like two months in or something when dan started warming up to him that he wants this. He wants this for as long as he can. He wants to marry her bc she’s amazing and literally a goddess. She’s exactly his type (TEARS R STREAMIMG DOWN MY FACE) so he used the little savings he’s got and went and bought this cute ring right. Not the biggest diamond. It’s nothing flashy but pretty. It’s pretty and sophisticated and it reminds him of dan. So he’s got it all planned right.

On the last day of the 6 months period, Seung joon made like this romantic ass dinner for dan. Decorated the place and all. Made it look a+. They had a rly nice time n they were so comfortable (dan even laughed at one of his jokes and he felt like he was on top of the world). The night was winding down. Seung joon was getting nervous but Dan’s fave song came on and it was Time.

So he reached for Dan’s hand and started his whole speech (you know the one. The one on the bridge where we all just died a little bc damn that’s cute) and at the end, he kneel in front of her with the ring between his thumb and forefinger. AND ASKED IF SHE WILL HAVR HIM AS HER HUSBAND BC HE WANTS TO SPEND HIS LIFE MAKIMG HER AS HAPPY AS SHE MAKES HIM.

Dan, not knowing that Seung joon was actually going to do this, was SHOOK. She thought they both knew it wasn’t gonna be like a Marriage thing after the 6 months but here he is. On one knee. Looking at her with those soft eyes.

She wrapped her hand over the ring and Seung joons hand and frowned. Ofc. Seung joon knew what that meant but a little bit of him still HOPED LIKE I HOPED THEY WOULDNT KILL HIM and dan said no. She can’t marry him. She was sorry but he’s like don’t apologise right. Bc even tho he’s like dead ass heart broken, he doesn’t wanna hear her apologise to him about this. So he got up, put the ring back into his pocket, and started cleaning up the dinner table like nothing happened. He told Dan to go rest n shower like it was just another regular night with them.

Ofc. The next day, Seung joon is GONE GONE GONE. he left a little card that says thank you on it but nothing else. All of his things r gone.

Dan’s mom called n was like SO HOW DID IT GO. And dan just tells her that Seung joon is gone. He proposed and she said no. And he left.

AND SCENE. tbc

[panharmonium]

@MERLINOBSESSIONIST I’M -

YOU CANNOT POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND HOW FILLED WITH LOVE THIS MADE ME FEEL

(^me @ you!!!!!  but also merlin @ will lbr can you IMAGINE)

i know you know i don’t really read much fic but in terms of just tag browsing, almost everything i’ve ever seen about reincarnation is either about just arthur or just the camelot crew and i will tell you right now, the ONLY acceptable explanation for this is that will hasn’t shown up yet, like - it is patently not fair for merlin’s ultimate ‘happy ending’ to do nothing but affirm the message that camelot was the only thing about his life that mattered.

so perhaps, instead: reincarnation runs in reverse, so that merlin finds the first person he lost last.  long after he stopped expecting to meet anyone else, long after he figured this new world’s roster was complete - even merlin assumed it was just camelot that was part of this grand story; destiny never seemed to care about any other part of him before.  

so he doesn’t even think about it.  it doesn’t even cross his mind as a possibility.  

until, of course, it does.

[in other words: i took your ask and wrote you a story.]

i really don’t care for this destiny shit.

merlin hasn’t done accidental magic for a millennium and a half (and it’s a good thing, too, considering his capabilities) but in that space between one thunderous heartbeat and the next, the pavement under his feet splits into a spiderweb network of cracks, and along each crack blooms a tangled vein of grass, shockingly green and decidedly un-urban and definitely not the result of any conceivable natural processes.

will is unimpressed.  “you haven’t changed one ruddy bit,” he says.  “you numpty.  it’s broad daylight.”

merlin wants to say that will hasn’t changed one ruddy bit either, because no one else on earth can manage to show up fifteen centuries after their supposedly permanent death and still make merlin want to strangle them within seconds, but it comes out like “mmmf  ffmm mfmf” because merlin is sort of strangling will after all, in a hug, and his face is mashed into will’s clothes, and he can’t enunciate properly with a mouthful of t-shirt.

(he also can’t enunciate properly when he’s crying, but that’s nobody’s damn business.)

merlin is insufferable for weeks.

that’s will’s opinion on the subject, anyhow.  merlin maintains that this is an exaggeration, in response to which will retorts, “yesterday when i woke up i cracked my skull on your nose ‘cos you were hanging over me while i was having a nap, merlin, you’ve gone completely round the bed - ”

later on, maybe, merlin will admit that perhaps will has a point, and maybe merlin was being just a little bit overbearing.  

but in the moment, all merlin can think about is zippers.

zippers are a clever little invention.

of all the innovations merlin has seen emerge over the last 1500 years, he has always been oddly charmed by the zipper, which up until now he believed to be a perfectly designed machine.  currently, though, he’s revised his opinion - zippers for fastening two bits of clothing together are handy, make no mistake, but merlin, who has resolved to never again let will out of his sight, thinks zipping two people together would be a handier function by half, and wonders if zipper manufacturers are open to suggestions.  

it’s just that not letting will out of his sight means not letting will do...well, almost anything, really, and it would be much easier to accomplish this if merlin could keep will where he wanted him while also having both hands free.  but merlin is willing to make sacrifices in the name of precautions, and he resolves to master the art of shadowing will’s every move even without the aid of specialized fastening apparatuses, for all that a zipper would have been more convenient.  

for some unfathomable reason, will seems to find this annoying.  but merlin tries to make himself feel better about his friend’s marked ingratitude by convincing himself that will’s reluctance to follow perfectly reasonable, safety-related rules is just a consequence of his natural anti-authoritarian streak, and not, in fact, a reaction to the fact that merlin has gone completely round the twist.

merlin is not being unreasonable.  he’s not.  

it’s a dangerous world out there.  you can’t be too careful.  

“what are you doing?” asks merlin, alarmed.

will looks blankly at merlin over the hood of the car.  “getting in?”

“oh, no.  you can’t sit there.”

“can’t i?  i’m driving.”

“no.”

“no, i’m not driving?”

“no.”

“you’re driving, then.”

“no.”

“i don’t understand.  who’s driving?”

“...no.”

“...how are we supposed to do your groceries?”

“look, i just think, you know, let’s just...skip it.”

“merlin,” will says, with forced calm, “you have no toilet paper.”

“what are you doing?”

“...eating.”

“you’ve not had that before.”

“so?”

merlin hesitates.  “do you know, allergies are hundreds of times more common now than they were when we - ”

“merlin...”

“i’m only saying that if you haven’t tried it before - ”

“merlin - ”

“maybe i should just - ”

“merlin, if you try to take this plate away from me i am dumping the sticky bit all over your trousers.”

“what are you doing?”

“nothing, merlin.”

“you got up.”

“so?”

“where are you going?”

“...the loo, merlin.”

will tries his best to be patient with merlin, but unfortunately patience has never been one of his strong suits, so merlin’s fingers do end up getting slammed in a number of bathroom doors before merlin manages to finally (grudgingly) admit that will has, in point of fact, always been rather more self-sufficient than merlin himself, and that will has also, in general, been quite good about not getting himself killed in stupid accidents, when left to his own devices.

“so,” merlin concedes, “as long as no one’s actively trying to murder you - ”

“can’t promise anything,” says will, around a mouthful of toast.  “something about me puts people’s backs right up, merlin; i know a couple of blokes who’d be well pleased if i did drop dead of a freak nectarine allergy - ”

“ - then i suppose,” merlin continues, gritting his teeth, “you’ll probably be fine.”

merlin is proud of himself for deciding to be such a grown-up, and he thinks his insufferable period ends there.  

the rest of his friends quietly disagree, even if they never say so to merlin’s face, because for them, merlin’s insufferable period has just begun.  merlin, who has spent the last 1500 years diligently serving someone else’s interests, has now suddenly reacquired the one thing in his life that was ever just his, and the fact of the matter is that will’s reappearance, unexpected as it is, turns merlin temporarily feral.

even after merlin decides to stop (literally) breathing down will’s neck at every turn, he still goes virtually everywhere at will’s elbow (if they go out at all), and he comes home in exactly the same position, and he sleeps on the living room floor because that’s where he and will are lying when they talk themselves out in the middle of the night, and he gleefully declines invitations to do things with other people because he is already doing exactly what he wants to do, and he will continue to do so for exactly as long as he wants to do it, and now it is everybody else’s turn to wait.

people who haven’t seen him for a long time start asking him if he wants to come round, and he doesn’t even bother with ‘oh, i’m a bit busy atm;’ he just replies <no> and then "loses” his phone behind the couch.

(gwen is the only one who ever gets a clarifying text after one of these episodes, the content of which reads i didn’t mean that in a nasty way.  she sends back a little purple flower in response, because of course she knows perfectly well he didn’t - she laughed, to be honest, when she got the original message.)

(she thinks it’s nice to hear merlin using the word no as a complete sentence, actually.)

(she knew him the longest, after everything went to hell.  by now, they understand each other.)

most of merlin’s other friends don’t bother him too much after their first failed attempts at connecting, because they can take a hint, and they have their own lives to live, and they assume they’ll just see merlin when he wants to see them.

a few of them, however, are accustomed to getting everything they want, very quickly, almost all of the time, and said people (person) spent a formative chunk of their lives relying on merlin to (literally) drag them out of bed every morning, so these people (person) turn out to be a bit more persistent.

merlin’s email inbox pings him multiple times a day, asking increasingly curious and impatient variations on “where are u,” until merlin activates the out-of-office reply feature and sets the bounce-back message to “at the tavern.”  merlin’s mobile keeps ringing, until he magicks it to redirect all incoming calls to an in-home laundry service.  the landline starts ringing then as well, at which point will picks up the phone and says, his face utterly serious, “we’re not home,” while merlin cackles (unsubtly, audibly) in the background.

much later, when merlin has finally relaxed a bit and rejoined society, arthur will grumble about this, because he still gets Like That sometimes and doesn’t appreciate being Mocked, thank you very much (especially not by “that fellow”), but will isn’t the least bit concerned.

“i wasn’t taking the piss, mate,” will says, quite obviously doing just that.  “i thought you might fall for it, is all.”

arthur, huffy: “why in god’s name would you think i would believe such an obvious lie?”

will:

what eventually gets merlin and will out of their self-imposed quarantine is not, in fact, arthur’s exhaustive collection of attempts to hassle merlin by phone, email, and carrier pigeon, but rather a simple text from gwaine, which, in true gwaine fashion, asks no questions and makes no demands, but contains instead a single blurry photo of what might be elyan and percival looking disappointed and droopy in front of some kind of beach, though the sky behind them seems very grey and the camera lens appears to be smeared with raindrops.

>>freak thunderstorms on beach day/weatherman said no chance??? >>NOT ON, you funky little wizard

merlin laughs and lays his phone aside, not feeling any particular need to explain for the thousandth time that he does not, in fact, control the weather (well - all right, not usually, anyhow; there was that one time, yes, fine, but on the whole, natural forces were not to be trifled with), and then, as quickly as he puts the text out of his mind, he snaps up the phone again, struck by a thrill of realization.  “gwaine,” he breathes gleefully, consumed suddenly with anticipation.

“wossat?” will asks from the other side of the table, barefoot and pyjama-clad.

“we’re going out,” merlin says, popping up from his chair and pushing will out of his seat.  “put your shoes on.”  

will allows merlin to hustle him out of the kitchen, but grumbles, “can i put my clothes on, too, or are we trying to be somewhere yesterday?”

“you can put your clothes on,” merlin says, shoving will into the living room.  “i want you to meet somebody.”

will puts on the brakes immediately, stopping them both in the doorway to the hall.  “who?”

“a friend of mine.”

“what friend?”

merlin pauses.  will’s expression is suddenly wary, and merlin knows him well enough to tread carefully.  will doesn’t know any of merlin’s other people, and he claims he doesn’t care to, ostensibly because he’s got enough friends already, but merlin knows what the real issue is, and it’s that the picture-plastered refrigerator door in merlin’s kitchen is a disquieting, uneasy mystery to will, a puzzle he on some deep level doesn’t believe he fits into.  

merlin can’t blame him for feeling that way.  it’s not like merlin did much to disabuse him of that notion, after all, in their old life.  

“just a friend,” merlin decides, keeping it simple.  “gwaine.  you’ll like him.”

“i don’t know him,” will counters.

merlin spins will around by the shoulders and points him in the direction of the bedroom.  “trust me.  you want to.”

don’t leave, merlin texts gwaine, afterwards, while will is getting dressed.  stay at the beach.

merlin’s phone buzzes a moment later.  it’s tipping down out here.

merlin leans against the warm, rain-spattered glass of the window and checks the sky, which is grey still, but brightening, and then looks at will, who has emerged from the bedroom, shoes in hand.

don’t bother about the weather, merlin types.

why?  gwaine’s reply is almost instantaneous, but merlin ignores it for a minute, watching as will crouches in the foyer and does up his laces.  

merlin spent half his life at home watching will’s hands fly over more complicated knots than the bow in a pair of trainers - double-half hitches for calving ropes, halter loops for wayward goats, ring knots draped over gateposts and snap-releases for pulling legs up and out of kicking range.  will was always good at that sort of thing, at anything handsy - it was how he talked, when he finally ran out of things to say with his mouth.  his fingers were always moving, tying string or tilling soil or turning trees into harrows and haycarts and hundreds of yards of rough-hewn fencing.  he always had sawdust in the hem of his trousers and splinters in his hands, and - for far too long a period of their lives - a little frowny crease in his brow.

why?  gwaine’s inquiry is still glowing up at merlin, awaiting a response.

merlin watches will double-knot his second shoe in one brisk motion.  will is tidier now, and his hands are less scarred, but his fingers move as surely as they ever did.  and even if his forehead sometimes still sports that same little uncertain crinkle, merlin has caught will in a silly grin once or twice, too.

merlin ducks his head and taps out his answer:  

i think things are looking up.

“you were talking to lancelot?”

it gives merlin an indescribably warm and pleasant squirm in his stomach to see will and lancelot chatting together in gwen’s back garden.  lancelot is hardly ever in town these days, and merlin has dragged will out to this to-do specifically because if there’s one event lancelot will show up to this year, it’s gwen’s birthday.  but will hasn’t fallen into the rhythm of these things yet, and he’s always in danger of slinking off to the sidelines, to less well-tended patches of plants illuminated only by the twinkle lights wound into gwen’s fencing.  he is startlingly uncertain now, in a way that would have shocked merlin in another life, though these days merlin just takes it in stride, joining will on whatever patch of grass he’s chosen for himself, where they eat from a shared paper plate, and eventually the rest of the party comes to them, because people follow merlin like a beacon wherever he goes, even into dark corners.

will nods.  “yeah.”

eloquent, as usual.  merlin prods him in the arm.  “what do you think of him, then?”

will makes a face.  “i’ve only just met the man.”

“i’ve never known that to stop you having an opinion.”

will sighs.  “he seems fine, merlin.”

on the other side of the garden, elyan is building up the firepit, breaking up sticks for kindling.  arthur is watching lancelot, who is watching gwen, who is radiant and beaming in a bright yellow sundress, but she, too, is watching both of her observers, whenever they aren’t watching her.  

none of them look troubled, exactly.  just thoughtful.  

“he seemed to know who i was,” will says suddenly.

merlin is surprised to hear will offer anything further on the subject.  “well, i suppose he does, a bit.  he’s my friend, you know.  he’s heard of you.”

“the rest of your friends hadn’t heard of me.”

the rest of merlin’s friends are, at that moment, pestering leon to give elyan back a confiscated can of lighter fluid nicked from the grill, swearing on their oaths that the (former) blacksmith isn’t planning on doing any forge-appropriate stunts.  “lancelot’s different,” merlin says after a minute.  “it was different with him.”

“how different?”

gwaine pops the can out of leon’s hands with a pair of tongs and tosses it to arthur, who tosses it to lancelot, who looks surprised at being included.

“well...” merlin says, and pauses for a moment before continuing.  “he knew me.  not like the rest of that lot, i mean.”  he glances at will.  “like you.”

will raises his eyebrows and looks at lancelot again, as if re-evaluating him.

“i couldn’t tell them about you,” merlin says, after a longer pause.  “they wouldn’t have understood.”

will watches lancelot lob the can of lighter fluid to percival, who slings it back to elyan, who freezes mid-pour when gwen hollers his name in That Voice.  “well, that’s all right, then,” will murmurs, almost to himself.  then he turns back to merlin, lifting one curious eyebrow.  “how in the hell did that happen, then?”

“it was sort of an accident.”

“i thought you said gaius was an accident.”

“well - yeah.  also that.”

a disbelieving laugh bursts out of will’s mouth, startling them both.  it’s loud and bell-bright and it turns gwen’s head from where she stands over the picnic table, setting out a plate of desserts.  she catches merlin’s eye and smiles.

“right, then,” will says, recovering himself, but smiling still.  “i’ll have to give this lancelot bloke another go, then.”

“please,” merlin says.  “you should.  he’s worth it.”

will nods to himself, considering lancelot for a moment.  “a whole two of us, is it?”

merlin nods.

“we’ve got nearly enough people to start ourselves a little Society now.”

“a small one.”

“very small,” will agrees.  “...not that - well, i mean...”  he looks suddenly uncomfortable, like he’s said too much.  “i mean, not that i’m saying...well, cat’s out of the bag now, isn’t it, so obviously it doesn’t matter - ”

merlin is already shaking his head.  “no,” he says, stopping will mid-sentence.  

will’s gaze flickers uncertainly between merlin and the group clustered around the firepit.  “no?  i thought you said - ”

“no,” merlin repeats, his voice quiet but uncompromising, “it matters.  don’t ever think that, will.  you have no idea.”

will turns slightly pink and diverts his attention to making an intense inspection of the grass under his feet; merlin decides to leave the subject there, for now, and let will have this moment to be flustered.  someday, maybe, it will take more than the barest scrap of appreciation to turn will sixteen shades of red, but will was always like this at home, too, quick to close himself down, easy for merlin to embarrass, taken off guard by unfiltered affection and squirming at too much sincerity, unable to conceive of himself as something anyone would need or want in any way that wasn’t “an extra pair of hands in the field.”  

merlin did not do much to correct that impression, back then, he knows.  but he’s been given a gift, now, a chance to amend his first and ugliest mistake, and he is going to be deliberate about this unexpected chance at atonement.  he is going to be better.  braver.  he will be less selfish, he promises himself, more patient.  gaius always says that allowing sufficient time for regrowth is the only surefire way to set a broken bone, and merlin doesn’t care if it takes him another 1500 years - he owes will too much to offer him anything less.

will returns his attention to the group on the patio, determinedly looking anywhere but merlin’s face.  “that looks like a torch in a hayloft,” he mutters, watching arthur, gwen, and lancelot’s unfolding dramedy of longing looks.  “long story there, i take it?”

merlin has to smile.  “i’ll tell you all about it, i promise.  you might want to clear your schedule for a week or two, though.”

will shrugs.  “i’m not going anywhere,” he says.  but then he looks sideways at merlin, teetering on the edge of an unasked question.

merlin does not make him wait.  not this time, not ever again.  

“neither am i,” merlin says, and settles in to watch elyan set something on fire.

there are, of course, less pleasant moments.

time has not mellowed will’s sharp edges in the slightest, and those associated with his tongue least of all.  now that he is up to speed, he’s formulated all manner of angry opinions to offer about the reeking cow pie merlin stepped into when he went to camelot, and every week seems to present him with something new to stew over, leading to episodes of simmering surliness that boil over every so often into bitter arguments.

will rarely makes these blunt and unflattering observations in the presence of merlin’s other friends, but merlin is all too aware that this is not because will is even remotely afraid to speak his mind, but rather because he is profoundly disinterested in what merlin’s camelot compatriots might have to say.  will does care what merlin has to say, even if he thinks 90% of it is “cow shyte, merlin, don’t try to feed me that rubbish,” but even merlin can’t escape will’s ire using explanations or placations or rationalizations of the Ultimate Good; will simply doesn’t care about the Powers That Be, and he tells merlin so, every time merlin tries to defend them or justify the part he himself played in their story.  

[^actual footage of will and merlin in the twenty-first century]

someday in the future, will and merlin are going to realize that they don’t actually want to accidentally (on purpose?) murder each other out of sheer frustration, so they decide they are only allowed to argue about this topic twice a year.  

for now, though, will can’t seem to shut up, and merlin can’t let will’s comments pass, and they lock horns every other week on things neither of them have any ability to change.

it’s tiresome, a little bit, and they sometimes have rip-roaring rows which are Horribly Worrisome to other people (‘oh dear, it’s really over for them this time, isn’t it’), but neither will nor merlin fret over it like the rest of their circle does.  they’ve known each other since before they could talk, and fighting with one another is a time-honored tradition, not something to be frightened of.  besides, these are not trifling, unnecessary tiffs they are having - these are necessary evils, lanced abscesses, scoured wounds.  these are bloodlettings, draining both their weary, aching bodies of accumulated poisons.  

merlin knows this has to happen.  he appreciates seeing will this way, up on his toes and full of fire, snappy and uncompromising, ready to shred illusions and evasions and excuses as if they were so many sheets of 1500 year-old parchment.  will in a fight is like a fish in the water, or a bird in the air, balletic and agile, strikingly at home, a creature in its absolute element, and merlin loves watching him, for all that it means he sometimes get bitten for getting too close.

it’s not the end of the world.  they have both known how to fight with each other for a long time.  and merlin - for whom a row with anybody else has always been tedious, uncomfortable, a bothersome disruption - does not mind rowing with will.  rowing with will is like getting his exercise.  it’s natural and familiar, and everything is where it’s supposed to be, in those tinderbox moments, even when Where It’s Supposed To Be is the two of them having an absolute cow at each other in the kitchen while the rest of their friends sit in the living room trading wide-eyed stares and trying to silently debate whether or not they should risk edging sideways out the back door.

merlin tells himself again and again that there’s no need to worry.  the other thing he’s learned from gaius is that a poorly healed fracture sometimes needs to be snapped again in order to set up properly.  

merlin wants his relationship with will to set up properly.  he’s willing to break a few bones to make it happen.

it takes a year for the cast to finally fall off.

it’s summer again by the time they come around to the marrow of the matter, to the tension undergirding all of their arguments, to the knot of grass stuck stubborn and tenacious at the heart of the concrete.

“why did you do it?”

will doesn’t answer merlin’s question right away.  they’ve just finished (or maybe are about to finish, merlin hopes, feeling strangely anticipatory, as is something tentative and promising is hanging just out of sight) a spectacular squabble, and the kitchen in which they sit seems to be sagging, unsupported in the yellow, windowless gloom, the painted cabinetry as tired as they are.

“i left you,” merlin continues, and even though the shameful taste of the truth burns on the way down, he swallows it willingly.  be better, he tells himself.  braver.  “i was afraid to tell you i was going.  i was afraid to get in touch with you after i’d left.  i never said goodbye.  i didn’t ask my mother to relay a message.”

will says nothing.  

“i let people line up to die for something i could have done myself.  i protected myself at everyone else’s expense.  i hid my secret behind our neighbors.  i got you killed.”  merlin takes a deep breath.  “i never said i was sorry.”

will taps his fingers on the table, his eyes focused somewhere off to merlin’s left.  he looks more thoughtful than angry.  “are you?”

the idea that will even needs to ask this question makes merlin want to cry.  merlin could talk for 1500 years and still never manage to explain how sorry he is.  he’s never breathed a word of it to anyone, but there was a part of him that was relieved to bargain his life away to nimueh, all those years ago.  he’d earned that punishment, he knew.  it was a just price.  

“yes,” merlin replies.  “i was wretched to you, and you saved my life.  i left you and you lied for me.  you - ”  merlin’s throat threatens to snap closed; he tells himself to finish.  be better.  be braver.  “i would never have asked you for that, will.  never.  i didn’t deserve it.”

will doesn’t say anything.  he is still not looking quite at merlin, but at the refrigerator behind merlin’s chair, which hums into the silence, blissfully unaware of the conversation taking place directly in front of it.  there’s a photo of will and merlin on the door now, added last month, and merlin still feels slightly strange, when he pulls out a jug of milk in the morning and sees will’s smiling face hanging there.  

merlin has never had a picture of will before.  he has never seen will’s face outside the confines of his own memories.

“well?” merlin prods.  “am i wrong?”

“no,” will replies, “you’re right.”

“then why did you do it?”

will sits up straighter, fixing merlin with a penetratingly direct, unflinching stare, the same startlingly candid look that merlin spent years searching for in other people’s faces, all those ages ago.  fifteen centuries of grieving later, and there it finally is - and one thing, it turns out, is exactly the same: will never did have any patience for foolish questions.  

“you know why,” is all will says.

merlin’s throat snaps shut for good.  he lets it, this time, and closes his eyes, taking a deep, wobbly breath, in through his nose, out through his mouth.  behind him, the refrigerator hums, and the tap drips onto a stack of dirty dishes lying forgotten in the sink, and somewhere, out in the heart of the city, the summer breeze ruffles a section of pavement overgrown with year-old grass.

in about three seconds, merlin is going to have a big, ugly cry in his kitchen.  it’s going to be mortifying and unsightly and sort of inconvenient, since he is supposed to be doing the washing-up, and it’s going to be even more inconvenient because will is right there, and will might not have a freak allergy to nectarines but he does have at least a little bit of an allergy to tears; his own, mostly, though merlin can’t imagine he’s going to love merlin’s very much, either, even if merlin only ever tried to test that theory once and didn’t exactly have a chance to collect any data after the fact.  

but before that inexorable wave rolls in and washes over them both, merlin takes three bracing seconds to remind himself of what he already knows: that will is going to accept merlin’s bawling, this time, or at least take it in stride, and he might even pull over a chair, and tuck up his feet, and have a silent sit with merlin for the duration, because will heard that calloused bone break, too, and felt the sharp, misaligned pieces snap finally, blessedly back into place, and he certainly knew exactly what he was doing when he answered merlin’s question.

you know why is as close to i love you as someone with will’s fraught history is ever going to get.  

and close enough is, for them - for now - close enough.

[punkscowardschampions]

James & Ava

James: [okay so we all know the mood is that he sees whatever she's posted and literally goes there immediately with no thought of who else could also be cos he NEEDS to check that she's alright. The drama of it all] Ava: [but luckily no one is there and she'd be so shocked but also grateful 'cos no one wants to be alone and feeling unwell, esp. not in hospital] James: [when he'd have to say he was her brother so he can take her #awkward] Ava: [lollol finding that more amusing than you would otherwise 'cos concussion breaking your awks] James: [oh she'd be so cute I can't] Ava: [just hugging him so hard] James: [we all need that moment but sadly it cannot last forever because he'd have some driver doing circles endlessly cos there's nowhere to park at hospitals ever] Ava: [seriously, and it's so expensive] James: [when you were so desperate to get in there you didn't think about how long it could have taken like she could've been admitted and that driver is just lowkey out there for the rest of time] Ava: [lmao i wonder how long he'd wait for that bag before getting bored, luckily they'd low-key be ready to get rid 'cos too busy and overcrowded] James: [practically pushing her out the door as soon as they saw someone show up for her so he doesn't even have time to give her a feelsy speech lol] James: [just help her out to the car boy, you've had a lot of practice with drunk girls in heels and it'd be the same vibe] Ava: [just saying thank you over and over] James: [meanwhile he's asking her if she's okay over and over like every step they trying to take here] Ava: ['Oh God, you must think I'm so stupid, I swear, they came out of nowhere'] James: ['We both know you're not stupid, Ava' shout out to that text cleverness 5ever tbh 'I'm just glad you weren't seriously hurt'] Ava: ['How have you been, I've been so worried' shoutout to this concussion giving me shameless freedom lol] James: [when you can only shake your head because 1. you ain't been good 2. you don't wanna tell her any of it and 3. you don't think you deserve her worry/ want her to worry about you] Ava: [sad face] James: [stopping to stroke said face, don't fall over girl, he's got you] Ava: ['James-' and then just looking 'cos what can you say] James: [looking back at her cos likewise but then you gotta drop them eyes cos so sad] Ava: ['you look tired' and making more of an actual effort to get into this car] James: ['I am tired' but helping her in and doing her seatbelt for her because not gonna see her struggle ever, telling the driver her address because there's nowhere else you can take her but home even though you have no idea if as soon as you get there someone is gonna show up for her and you obviously don't want that] Ava: [patting your shoulder like 'you can come sleep' like no no one can babe] James: ['no' but a little smile cos she's cute af 'I'm supposed to keep you awake'] Ava: [when you make a face like 😏] James: ['by which, of course, I mean, you've got a 8 hour date with Edward Cullen ahead of you'] Ava: [grinning like a fool but then being like, wait 'you'll stay though, can you?'] James: ['I'm not going to leave you alone' oh the heavy unspoken implication that she might not be if the friends or fam descend 💔] Ava: [resting your head on him as a silent thank you but then lifting it like 'so awake, promise'[ James: [stroking her hair and keeping an eye like] Ava: [being like let me tell YOU a story and honestly God knows but it'd be cute and she'd be trying to match his storyteller energy] James: [when that's lowkey the moment he falls in love with her bye] Ava: [asking the driver to play the new moon soundtrack] James: [loling and honestly when was the last time he did that, we all know it was when they were together] Ava: [live the emo life and love it babes] James: [he's GOTTA dance in his seat to keep her awake, no other reason #notanerd lol] Ava: [just clapping and cheering him on like nothing to see here driver God bless] James: [so not what that man was expecting to 👀 or 👂] Ava: [freaking out drivers is low-key a fave] James: [the one time you're happy about London traffic tbh] Ava: [even though we ain't gonna interrupt, you don't know that boy] James: [speaking of, probably send a text or something to check on the kids because you just ran like assumedly they at their grandparents but] Ava: [never leaving 'em with Chlo we all know] James: [lord her and Jay would kill each other] Ava: [I'd genuinely be worried for her safety so don't blame you remotely boy, least her parents are invested] James: [literally though & you can have those grandparents forever babs we ain't taking them away from you] Ava: [awkward that your mum never shows but that's just that on that] James: [lbr that's for the best stick with your dads kiddos] Ava: [we all know it, even if Matty might not end up remembering much] James: [Ava lowkey her mum now oops] Ava: [and Jay's actual auntie...lol what a tangled web we weave boo] James: [at least they can all stay connected] Ava: [true facts] James: [makes my heart happy even if it's weird] Ava: [lean in to how weird this family is James] James: [they weird af but they're better than the one he's got #noshadetoTeddythough] Ava: [all the shade to you Chlo, sort it out] James: [her poor future children & husband] Ava: [honestly, good luck] James: [he'd have to be about everything she is or else what the fuck] James: [anyway we've been sidetracked get to Baze's house you two] Ava: [movie marathon awaits, what else do we vibe or shall we just try and see what comes out, like] James: [let's just run with it and see what happens because we extra and anything could be said and done tbh] James: [imagine how awkward it'd be when they get there because he'd have to send her in first and just be shitting himself in the car like is anyone there or no] Ava: [at least you know full well no one is there 'cos business trips forever so you're just at the door shaking your head and doing the 'come on' gesture] James: [he'd just help her to the sofa like immediately & get her blankets and pillows and painkillers (even though it wouldn't touch a concussion headache) and a phone charger and everything else she could possibly need cos Chloe's got him trained like a dog] Ava: [low-key pulling at him, gently, like boy sit down] James: [when you are then looking at her like what did I forget/ do wrong before you realise] Ava: [squeezing his hand because you can only say thank you so many times, putting the film on but then pausing and gasping so dramatically 'coffee, I promised you coffee' and going to get up like can you be careful please] James: [thinking she's in pain or something because of that gasp so being at her side like 0-1000 and slowing her down cos they can do it together thank you] Ava: [making a face at herself like ffs when she catches on 'I'm not trying to age you' and touching his non-grey hair and wrinkles like totally necessary yep] James: ['but you're offering me coffee, what's next red meat or red wine?' but no actual shade cos we both know he doesn't care and none of that is what's aging him anyway, taking her hand from his face and gently kissing said hand before handholding to lead her to her own kitchen like let's do this] Ava: ['I don't know where my cigarettes are' shrugs and smiles like sorry not sorry, smiles even harder but lowkey stops breathing when, kissing ontop of where he just kissed her hand, then getting to this all-singing all-dancing coffee machine 'you have to pick the most daring option, one you've never, ever tried before, okay?' and waggling her finger like so serious about this] James: [takes his own cigarettes out of his pocket and slides the pack over to her 'okay' and does pick, really concentrating on the decision even though there'd be so much shit he hasn't tried and we all know he could just pick option 1 and be done] Ava: [takes one out and puts it behind her ear for later 'cos no need to light up in your parents home, just watching him 'cos so cute and then nodding like yes, good choice and picks the same, setting up this machine 'cos they're always more confusing and/or time-consuming than they need to be I swear] James: [where's the lie you gotta have the knack I swear, his turn to watch her now though because she's beautiful doing anything ever and he missed her so bad] Ava: [ahh coffee goodtimes forever] James: [he needs it cos he is tired af so thanks Ava you babe] Ava: ['do we talk about what happened, or do we write it off?' when you just saying this casually whilst waiting for your coffees] James: ['I don't know' because he is genuinely torn between wanting to and also not] Ava: ['Wait and see how we feel' 'cos no rush or pressure here 'you better carry these though' 'cos we don't need burns as well ty] James: ['wait here a minute for me' because carries the drinks through and then comes back for her because why not carry her though as well obvs] Ava: [does and loves it 'I've missed you, you know'] James: ['I know now' just giving her 😍 casually 'I've missed you too'] Ava: [😍 right back 'Ask anyone' when you're talking about your mood but you realize that sounds like you been telling the world lol 'I mean, I've been a delight' 🙄] James: [when you shake your head like no it's okay 'I overreacted about your cousin, I'm sorry' takes a deep breath remembering that whole sad ending moment 'And I'm sorry for fucking up the start of your summer' because she loves it and he knows] Ava: ['I understand why, understood, whatever. And I am still sorry, I was just too excited and-' sighs like, you know, squeezing his hand again 'I promise, that's all sorted now though' 'cos clearly told her it's over by now, 'cos thought it was anyway; she nods like thanks but shrugs like it's okay too, don't worry 'Sure even I can't be grumpy in the Seychelles, like'] James: [blatantly almost kissing her because he understands the whole being too highkey thing because he was (*cough* is) too but doesn't because she's going away 'when are you going?'] Ava: [sad face like you didn't just say you aren't gonna be grumpy 'when my parents get back, couple of days'] James: [strokes her face again like he did earlier 'you'll feel better by then' because someone's meant to watch you for 48 hours actually NHS website says] Ava: [😈 me 😇 her looking at him 'how did you even- why- I-' continuously cutting herself off 'cos you know he was checking in on you now and you know he came without hesitating so it doesn't need to be said 'Oh, James'] James: ['Ava' saying her name with SO MUCH feeling that I cannot 'I had to' when you mean so many things by that like you had to go but you have to stay now and you had to make sure she was okay today but also you had to keep checking on her the whole time] Ava: [definitely gonna go in to kiss him can't stop that soz] James: [we all know it was only a matter of time and that this is gonna turn into a not at all casual make out session] Ava: [you honestly deserve it lads] James: [that coffee gonna be cold and they won't even notice] Ava: [the movies are also not being watched lmao but no one cares rn] James: [on pause forever sorry not sorry] James: [but eventually like after AN AGE one of them should lean on the remote or whatever so it starts playing and they're like wtf] Ava: [when you shit yourself like who is here but then loving 'cos hi Edward] James: [we all shitting ourselves and all loling] Ava: ['he's very possessive' no lie] James: [looking at Edward and then kissing her again like when you're trying to make someone jealous] Ava: [when you're loling too hard into his mouth like 'scuse me] James: [kissing her neck instead so she can have her adorable lol] Ava: [reacting to that in a v different way] James: [we back at it again at krispy kreme soz twilight saga] Ava: [i swear to god the ily curse is so real] James: [this always happens to us, don't talk for a bit lads, wink wonk] Ava: [its because we give them such high-pressure situations but yes, you should fully hook up 'cos haven't yet] James: [I wonder if the orgasm headache thing would work for a concussion one or not] Ava: [my boo says #experiment] James: [imma google it but I don't expect an answer] James: [nobody is telling me but if it can help a migraine I don't see why it wouldn't] Ava: [you'll be fine bitch, just a shameless excuse that he needs to hang around longer] James: [we should totally also do the shameless thing when he falls asleep and then wakes up immediately but is like oh no how long was I asleep because not only worried about her we know] Ava: [for sure, just there chilling like 🥰 'not long, but you looked peaceful'] James: ['I was' and more 😍 'I am' just snuggling happily because deserved af] Ava: [kissing the top of his head 'good' then lying down and snuggling harder 'I'm so glad you're here, that you're okay'] James: ['I'm glad that I'm here & that you're okay' kissing her forehead and holding her so tightly because he was so worried that something much worse had happened to her] Ava: ['It was kinda scary how much I missed you- like I said I WAS extra but I think, no, I still am, I can't lie to you'[ James: [when you are just falling so hard for her rn smiling like look at this perfect 😇 'you don't have to miss me any longer, minus however long you're spending in the Seychelles, of course'] Ava: ['Yeah?' trying but failing not to sound so hopeful 'And two weeks, so not as long as it has been, not that I was definitely counting or anything'] James: ['I was afraid, no, I am afraid but very few things have ever scared me as much as when I saw you were in hospital & I thought-'] Ava: [just holding him back even tighter like you could not be closer 'I'm so sorry I scared you, I won't ever do it again, even if I get hit by something more substantial than a 90lbs mum on a lightweight bike' and shaking her head with a lil lol 'cos it is funny even though it can be as bad as a car crash actual sometimes] James: ['You scare me in the best ways, you don't have to stop, I don't want you to' because think of the new things he's already done and the new things he's already felt, it makes me emosh goodbye] Ava: [when that's the hottest thing you've ever heard like 'scuse me round two] James: [you've actually got all night for once so make the most of it lads] Ava: [like literally no one needs it more than him so I'm allowing it, there's enough shit happened, happening and still to come] James: [amen to that] Ava: [happy bubble forever] James: [if only like, he is NOT gonna wanna leave in the morning but maybe we could say that like Jay has a playdate with friends or something cos soz babe you can't keep a secret so he just gets the baby and comes back] Ava: [that would be a moment] James: [just casually meet each other how cute] Ava: [have a normal, happy day like you're meant to oh] James: [you all deserve it truly] Ava: [meet your potential future stepchild babe] James: [do we wanna have them go out or stay in?] Ava: [🤔 obvs really want them to go to Kensington Park 'cos Peter Pan and like obvs I doubt anyone who would be bothered to report to Chloe is gonna be there but it is risky so maybe save it idk] James: [we will bookmark that for the future because MUST but they could take Frank on a walk somewhere cos we ain't referenced that sweet sir even if it's just through the streets like] Ava: [that's a good shout, you better be a good boy lol] James: [and don't cockblock them rn please] James: [they'd look like a little fam, I am FINE] Ava: [and lowkey behave more like one in one day like the bar is so low tah Chlo] James: [the scolding tea] James: how are you feeling? Ava: 😊 So happy Ava: Only a bit tired from the whole staying awake thing and you keeping me awake, like 😏 Ava: oh, and Frank said you've redeemed yourself so well done there too Ava: how're you and the girls? James: I'm happy to hear all of that James: has your dizziness gone? James: we're fine, but tired too Ava: Yeah Ava: barely a headache Ava: and my parents get in early AM so I should be all set to go when they do get here James: how much packing is there left to do? Ava: All of it but deciding which 14 bikinis I wanna take shouldn't take too long James: are you sure? I think it would take me a really long time to decide Ava: I'll put some stories up Ava: You can help me Ava: I reckon I need your clearly more considered opinion James: of course you do James: you wouldn't want to spend the entirety of your holiday wishing you'd chosen differently Ava: so true Ava: especially as I'm not allowed to pack my pout James: everyone is well aware of how important the pursuit of a tan is to you, darling, anything that jeopardises that, well, it's bound to be very pout inducing James: you'll be forgiven Ava: I don't know if my family is as forgiving as you Ava: perhaps they don't like my pout as much Ava: they definitely aren't as supportive in bikini related decision making James: I'll dedicate paragraphs to both James: multiple lengthy ones Ava: It'll seem gratuitous in the movie but nothing is too much for the book James: as long as it remains included in the director's cut James: or else I will be devastated Ava: I'll demand it in my contract Ava: I think it'll be a first in favour of taking your clothes off instead of keeping 'em on James: thank you James: you do deserve a multitude of firsts, honestly Ava: you deserve so much Ava: much more than I'm allowed to give you Ava: that reminds me Ava: as I can't give you anything as a thank you, I've had to get creative James: so much of what I deserve is negative & there is nothing you owe to me in any capacity, thanks included James: but I'd never want to discourage creativity Ava: Shh sh Ava: in the spirit of firsts and trying new things Ava: when you're all less worn out, go to [a sassy but kid-friendly cafe/restaurant that's a bit out there and exotic and definitely nowhere Chloe has ever made you take her] and tell 'em you're eating on me, yeah Ava: then when I get back and you're free, you're coming over and I'm cooking James: Ava Ava: It's already arranged, I go there all the time, it's the 2nd best Brazilian food I've had James: you've been to Brazil for the 1st, haven't you? I can tell Ava: Actually no, mores the pity Ava: but my Uncle is Brazilian and a chef, my cousin too Ava: having a big weird family has unexpected perks Ava: if you like it, I already have a recipe lined up that's meant to be 🔥 but even a novice like me can master it James: you'll have to wait patiently for my review because I regrettably can't send you a picture of my face after the 1st mouthful to serve as one, but okay Ava: I'll do my best Ava: though having any patience when it comes to you doesn't seem to be my strong suit Ava: arguably not a virtue I'm known for, ever, but especially now James: I'll do my best not to miss you so hard that it's physically painful but that doesn't appear to be my strong suit either & as previously agreed, I won't make any promises I'm forced to immediately break Ava: Oh Ava: Knowing it wasn't just me finding out that painful cliche is painfully real is somehow a comfort, to know you'll want to avoid the feeling as much as I do from now on but it also hurts me even more, the idea of you having to feel it at all in the first place Ava: but there is no conflict in just how hard I'm looking forward to seeing you again after this ill-timed holiday James: I don't ever want you to be in pain because of me, I have to insist on only the good cliches going forward James: devastatingly a postcard can't be included in that Ava: Hmm, got any long-lost great aunties I can pretend to be? 🤔😂 James: If I do my wife is bound to be aware of them, their current financial situation & any possible health concerns they are facing Ava: Valid Ava: Don't need to give her any more reason to 💀💀💀 me Ava: At least no holiday is complete without the obligatory narcissistic poolside shoot James: suffice to say I've never had a complete holiday, in that case Ava: I bet you've had to be cameraman plenty though Ava: so rude when you're so nice to look at James: & yet I've never been trusted to pick a filter Ava: 🙄 Ava: does she not know that you're an artiste James: no, it's our secret Ava: 😊 I like that James: I like you Ava: I like that more James: I wish I could see you again before you go Ava: Me too Ava: I kinda wish I weren't going James: how early are your parents getting back exactly? Ava: like 4am kinda early James: I won't make you stay awake again James: I know how tired you must be Ava: 🥺 James: I'm so relieved that I can't see that look on your actual face Ava: It's 💔 Ava: but I'll survive Ava: about James: you're a very strong person Ava: You James: I'm not Ava: You are though Ava: you put up with so much shit James: is that strength or is it weakness? Ava: I think it's strength Ava: You can't necessarily stop shit happening or get shit out of your life Ava: no matter how strong Ava: and you manage to do all the shit you have to regardless James: I'd like to think you're right Ava: Then you should Ava: I encourage it Ava: 🤓 me James: you are undeniably clever Ava: Try to be Ava: when I'm not standing in the middle of cycle paths, obviously James: I heard you say that bike came out of nowhere Ava: Yeah Ava: I miss you already Ava: Frank is not as good a nurse, like at all James: if you can fall asleep now, I'd feel less guilty about the prospect of asking you not to later James: should I hypothetically be able to get away Ava: 🛌🏃 Ava: Promise James: I can't give you a promise back Ava: I know Ava: but this way, I either stay asleep and that's that Ava: or I get the best surprise to wake me up James: what did I do to deserve you? Ava: This is the part where I say something very bad but Ava: you don't seem capable Ava: you're just James: whatever it was, I need to know so I can keep doing it Ava: just be you Ava: another cliche you've proven to be true and real James: this fortnight without you is going to be really cliche James: there's no chance of it existing beyond the 1st draft Ava: not even for my eyes only? James: well James: maybe Ava: Please please please James: okay James: you are my fairest critic & you do have beautiful eyes Ava: Yours are better Ava: but I won't be too jealous if I get to look at them more James: I definitely can't promise not to be envious of everyone in the Seychelles who will get to look at you more than I can Ava: Do you ever get a decent lunchbreak? Ava: we could facetime James: I'll figure something out James: because my dad takes the longest lunch breaks, you'd be forgiven for thinking it's the 80s Ava: 😏 we love a throwback 🙄 James: I'll take Matty to work with me, she'll distract whoever I need her to Ava: She is very cute Ava: I see it James: I won't be saying anything the like of that if she won't sleep tonight though Ava: 🤞 for you and her Ava: shame she's not yet at the walking stage Ava: Frank is so 💤 James: I can't keep her in any kind of routine, it's frustrating for both of us Ava: That's hard James: it's harder for her than it is for me, she never knows what's happening Ava: She'll get there Ava: I was the worst baby Ava: hopefully before you totally lose your mind, 'course James: I find it impossible to believe you weren't 😇 Ava: I was pretty premmie so my poor parents were confined to perpetual bright light for ages when I got home James: both the girls were so late James: that was an entirely different struggle Ava: I can imagine how delightful Ava: usually excusable but when you set the bar low to begin with 😬 James: the last thing I want to do is badmouth her to you, but as we know, sometimes things write themselves Ava: I feel you Ava: not a cliche I particularly wanna be either James: of course not Ava: but you can vent, you know Ava: I don't even have to reply, just if you need to put it somewhere James: no, I can't Ava: okay, just a suggestion James: so much of this is already not fair to you, Ava Ava: I don't think it is Ava: you've never lied about any of it, you're always realistic about what you can and can't give me Ava: and I'd like to help, in any tiny way I'm able James: you don't know what she's like & I'd rather you didn't have to know James: let's keep it at you don't do sympathy Ava: I know very little but that's not positive so it doesn't take your author level of imagination if I wanna go there without your guidance Ava: and it isn't sympathy but okay Ava: I won't mention her and you don't have to either James: I just can't have you seeing me differently because Ava: I'd never see you differently because of what she's like as a person James: it's too big of a risk for me to take, that you'll end up thinking less of me than you do now Ava: You can trust me Ava: but you don't have to Ava: I won't push anything, I don't need to Ava: as much as I want to take things fast in so many respects, I'm never going to take it where you don't want it James: it isn't you I don't trust James: I'm not a reliable narrator, she's made sure I'm not Ava: However...intertwined and diluted you feel your story got, because of her, because of whatever Ava: it's always gonna be your story to tell, if you want it Ava: and I'll always listen to how you tell it James: Ava Ava: James James: if it was a story I was in control of I'd come to the airport & tell you not to go James: cliche or not Ava: and I'd stay Ava: but that's far too much like a happy ending and we've only just begun James: you're right again Ava: don't sound so surprised 😉 James: I was actually trying to decide where it falls on the scale of ideas & habits, good, bad or somewhere in between James: that you always seem to be Ava: Have you drawn a conclusion yet? James: I couldn't possibly tell you James: you're supposed to be asleep Ava: damn Ava: you'll tell me in the morning? James: yes Ava: Okay, I'll go, as long as you know it is so reluctantly it's practically under protest James: & I won't stay here hoping you don't, as long as you know it's under identical conditions Ava: Noted Ava: Goodnight and sweet dreams for whenever that happens for you then, love James: thank you

[smartchicken]

Hi I show up every time you post which is haha, so funny, but I just wanna know if you've figured out that I'm a desperate bitch yet and if not, I'm a desperate bitch and I like your stuff. You're cool (also what're your thoughts on a road trip AU featuring young!Tony with a lot of trauma under his belt alongside honourably discharged Bucky who's forgotten how to live but they meet in the middle and it becomes a little easier to breathe)

-chokes-Oh manFirst off, i really would like to encourage people to just randomly describe themselves in my inbox.SECOND this is the first time I've replied to an ask with the mobile app and i don't understand why it's not automatically double spaced, it's really fucking with me, but I'm about as likely to do something about it as i am to tell my phone to auto-capitalize "i". I just Don't CareTHIRDLYROADTRIPokay first off I've had a very few good roadtrips and only one was "Long" (~18 hours) BUT i have great stories from those and now i am picturing not only a young Tony maybe on the run or just trying not to be home, and poor Bucky who got an honorable discharge but got fucked over because that's the American way, but all the avengers because the best roadtrip is when there's two cars and by about halfway through you're straight up enemiesSo like, car 1: Rhodey, Nat, Pepper, Bucky, and Tony. Car 2: Steve, Clint, Phil, and Sam. Because those are who i currently feel like giving a fuck about. Car 1 starts with a disadvantage because 5 people in one car always sucks but like, ride or die bitchesSo I'm sort of imagining this as BlackPepper combining their friendgroups in a fucking into the fire way like sink or swim love each other or else. Because it's that or awkward lunches for six months and they clearly don't have the time for that. I assume there is plotting going on because we all know it plotting redheads, but they probably lost control of the situation at one point because roadtripLike I'm imagining a college au so get in that mindset. I feel like Pepper immediately put her foot down about Tony, who's the only teenager there even though he acts like an old man. Pepper is just like okay Tony HAS to be with me or Rhodey at all times or I'll fuck everyone up Nat i stg i will kill your friends to death if they look strongly at my precious baby and Nat looks a this stubborn little asshole who is at once fearless and terrified and she's like, fair enoughBut Bucky, right? I know I'm a Tony fangirl but I'm not forgetting about Bucky. Cause Bucky went into the army at 18 and he came back three years later a different person. Steve didn't go with because a) he's a twiggy artist and b) Sarah would have murdered him after she destroyed the entire us military tbh. Bucky's a freshman, the only one in the group even though he's older than most of them. He's been back for like 6 months now and probably shouldn't even be dealing with college life but he's Bucky and lbr he's not gonna cut himself any slack. But by golly his friends love him and will absolutely fight everyone for him, even himself. So while Pepper's like "protect my son" Nat is like okay let's try to make sure Bucky's with Steve because they're kinda codependent but we're letting that happen for now because we have bigger fish to fry, but on the dl because currently Bucky won't admit to any issues under penalty of death.So day of the roadtrip. I dunno where they're going probably tourist shit they're just like get in the car we'll head for such and such and go from there. My only frame of reference here is Florida so I'm picturing them having to drive at least five hours before they have any reason to stop.Oh! Yes so first stop is gonna be a spring or river or some sort of water shitSoGetting ready to go is Hell they have to fit enough shit for nine people into two regular sized trunks. So they've gotta clean literally everything but the spare tire outta those("Fuck it, leave the tire," Clint suggests. He's packed all of a backpack and, incomprehensibly, his bow with three arrows and he's absolutely going to reek in about two days and probably didn't bring any shampoo or a toothbrush. It's probably like, a t-shirt, some boxers, and swim trunks. He'll wear the same shorts for a month he doesn't care. "If we get stuck on the side of tree road, I'll feed you to buzzards for sport," Pepper says pleasantly. She knows him a little better than most of Nat's friends because her and Clint half live together. They get along fine but Pepper progressed to threats much quicker than Clint is comfortable with. He thought about telling her it was hot but decided he liked his balls intact. "Just shove over the duffle," Bucky said. Tony's being quiet but he's got a toolkit packed in case anything goes wrong; there'll be no stuck-on-the-roadside on his watch. )So they get the trunks sorted and there's a couple bags in the backseats but it's good enough. Then Phil shows up (when did he leave???) and stuffs some blankets and pillows into both cars. "My family likes roadtrips," he says. His eyes are dead. Phil is not including himself in his family here. Phil tried to beg off but Pepper couldn't get Happy and Nat couldn't get Scott etc etc for various missing people and Phil agrees to come because, ultimately, these socially-challenged morons need a voice of reason and that's not Pepper or Nat OR Sam, no matter what they think(The truth is they're all reckless idiots and Phil's no exception but combined they can keep each other safe-ish or at least get in trouble together)((Tony didn't want to come either but more because he doesn't want to get underfoot. But Rhodey and Pepper made the mistake of trusting his "I'm fine" and leaving him alone for a few weeks at school exactly once. Pepper had hugged him and said "Pretty please?" and Tony's no good at turning down requests, especially from his few, beloved friends))(((Nat took a different approach with Bucky, who didn't want to come either. "If you don't come Steve won't come and then you'll have to say at Steve and Sam's wedding that it was delayed all because you skipped out on the best roadtrip ever.""It is going to be awful," Bucky said. Nat gave a particularly Russian shrug. Bucky sighed and gave in. He didn't exactly wanna spend a week in the dorms alone anyway.)))And then they really just wanna get going what the fuck guys it's already evening should we just wait til morning no fucking way shut your mouth we're going n o wPepper and Nat manage to be together, and they manage to pay Tony and Bucky special attention, as intended. But uh. Oops?It's Rhodey driving with Pepperi the passenger seat, mostly out of habit; they've done short road trips a lot at this point and it's always Rhodey driving to start, Pepper up front so Tony can nap in the backBut uhTony's in the middle in the back, with a pillow and a tablet in his lap. He's putting on a good show of being Totally Fine, but he's clearly tense. Bucky's smooshed against the door as much ash can, broadcasting discomfort like a cat in the rain. Nat leans against the door too, trying to be considerate, but Pepper starts texting her urgently( TOUCH HIM!!!!!hes so tense wtfNat I love you trust me and touch him a littleAnd Nat shifts over just a bit, so her legs are against Tony's, and for a second he freezes, and then he finally loses some of that tensionTOUCH STARVED?????? Nat texts Pepper, alarmed for this kid.His dad sucks, is Pepper's take, and Nat scowls and gets comfortable, pointedly touching Tony without pushing into his space.)MEANWHILE Phil is the odd man out but he's driving so it kinda works. Clint's in the passenger seat because Clint is a no good dirty cheater, and also has very stern, specific instructions from Nat. Steve and Sam are the most comfortable of the entire group, and within an hour they've got their feet a little tangled, not cuddling but not-not cuddling, and Steve's dosing a little cause he took a motion sickness thing and it always makes him a little sleepy"So Pepper seems terrifying," Clint says to Phil as an opener. They probably should've hung out at least a little before this because Pepper and Nat are the only things he can think of to talk about (and maybe it's not helping that Phil is weirdly hot and serious and he's seen him smile a couple times and he's trying to figure out how to see it up close but it turns out it's not hard cause right away Phil grins and chuckles a little and Clint thinks he's maybe having a heart attack)"So does Natasha. Or is it just Nat?""Sometimes it's Natalia," Clint says automatically, which isn't very helpful. "Uh. What are you studying?" Which is stupid and cliche but Phil manages to turn it into an actual conversation and in the backseat Sam's texting the whole thing to Bucky, who keeps sending back strings of emojis that aren't always sensible but like, Sam totally gets it. And then Sam gets a text of the top of a head of messy dark brown curls and a string of panicking emojis. There's a suspicious blushing emoji in there though and Sam snickers to himself. Steve wakes up with a little "hm?" which is too cute for words so Sam just passes him the phoneTony started off working on his tablet but he hasn't slept in...a while and he's been stressing about this but now he's in Rhodey's familiar car and Pepper's got classic rock going kinda quiet and Nat snuck her toes under his leg and he fights it for a while, but eventually he slumps over, and he doesn't even notice himself sliding towards the warmth that smells like machine oil and leather. Tony looks small and sweet and quiet and Bucky likes to watch him sometimes, when he can, even though he feels like a creep. It's just that Tony seems so alive in a way that Bucky can't really capture. Like he's so tired but so full of life and fire and maybe that's optimism he's not sure but he thinks it might be. Everyone always seems tired on campus, or young and stupid, or just so unrelatable. And it's not that he can relate to Tony so much as he wishes he could. Like watching the moon in the surface of a lake and being afraid of the ripples. Bucky slowly relaxes, lulled into it by Tony's quiet breathing, and Nat gives him a very obvious thumbs up, with a certain look in her eyes, and he catches Rhodey's eye in the rearview mirror, so he slides down a little, slowand quiet, tucks an arm around Tony and lets himself relax, puts down three phone and stares out the windowThey stop at an all-night walmart when Clint suddenly realizes they don't have SUPPLIESWATER SUPPLIES!!!Bucky and Tony go in, with Clint and Phil, to get Supplies, while everyone else stretches their legs or texts demands for snacks.They grab a bunch of stuff, everything that looks even mildly amusing, Tony sleep-fuzzy and relaxed from it, and in line him and Clint attack each other with pool noodles, earning a few glares from other shoppers, but they're laughing too!much to care. There's not really room in the cars for everything but they make it work and they're all wide awake then, everyone chattering for the last two hours before they realize they should've arrived by now and then Rhodey stops (he was the one leading) and there's dogs barking and they're in a trailer park andPhil calls him just to ask, "What the fuck Rhodes."They all get out their phones and they're yelling directions at Rhodey and they're lucky he loves them because seriously they deserve death at this point. They pull up to the park at 5am when they should've been there at, oh, 1 or so no one's sure how they got so turned around but they made it yaaayAnd then "Fuck," Pepper says. "Tents."And that's where I'm leaving this for now cause I'm tired of typing on mobile but tbh i wanna write a college roadtrip now. I'm just imagining a lot of cuddles at this point everyone gets maximum hugs plz. Also i can't tag this??? So thanks mobile

[amorremanet]

Since we’re always Sorting characters from other fandoms into Hogwarts Houses and I haven’t seen anyone else do this yet, I thought it would be fun to sort canon HP characters into Houses from EAGLECREST!, the infinitely superior American Wizarding school created by tumblr user @sashayed, which you should seriously check out if you haven’t because it’s cool.

(In the interests of disclosing my biases: I’m a member of House Justitopia, and I can’t dispute that Sorting as being too obvious without proving exactly why I deserve to be in Justitopia. It’s also not a completely comprehensive list, just a fairly long one.)

HARRY POTTER: I’m torn between Shrugstagram and Justitopia for Harry, and I don’t know how well he would adapt to the idea of a secondary House, but Harry James “fuck Umbridge, fuck the Malfoys, and fuck anyone who thinks they can just push people around for the lulz” Potter can’t deny that Justitopia streak.

RON WEASLEY: Shrugstagram, oh my god, there is no question

HERMIONE GRANGER: The most Justitopia to ever Justitopia, but lbr, there’s a Laxdisick streak here too

NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM: Bluthyoncé, for seriously. He comes into a Justitopia secondary as he grows up and comes more and more into himself, but ultimately, Neville’s heart is in Bluthyoncé. (Herbology and horticulture are a kind of creative art, okay.)

LUNA LOVEGOOD: Shrugstagram with a Bluthyoncé secondary. It’s pretty evenly mixed between the two for Luna, though. She really only favors Shrugstagram ever-so-slightly because they have hammocks.

GINNY WEASLEY: Laxdisick, with a Shrugstagram secondary, but it’s really, really slight. Ginny is so Laxdisick that it hurts.

DRACO MALFOY: The most Laxdisick to ever Laxdisick, are you even remotely kidding me.

JAMES POTTER: ……okay, no, I retract that statement about Draco. James is actually the most Laxdisick to ever Laxdisick, are you even remotely fucking kidding me.

SIRIUS BLACK: Bluthyoncé, with a Justitopia secondary.

REMUS LUPIN: Justitopia, with either a Bluthyoncé or Shrugstagram secondary. My heart can’t decide which one feels the most “right” for Remus, and my head can’t pick between, “But having him be the mirror of Sirius would be super cool” and, “I don’t know, though. Remus isn’t actually that much into beauty or socializing, so much as living and letting live, and only really fighting when he has to (because he’s fucking tired, you guys).”

PETER PETTIGREW: Everyone thinks he’s a Shrugstagram and to be fair, they’re partially right. But there’s a serious Laxdisick streak here, too.

LILY EVANS: Justitopia, with a Bluthyoncé secondary. (I’m not saying that James has a Type and that Type is, “some mix of Justitopia and Bluthyoncé,” but that is exactly what I’m saying because both of the people James Potter would gladly marry are exactly that thing I just said.)

SEVERUS SNAPE: Everyone thinks he’s a Laxdisick, and they’re partially right. But Snape’s desire to be left the Hell alone so he can just do whatever he wants (like playing with his chemistry set and studying the Dark Arts just because)? Yeah, that also screams, “Shrugstagram.”

MINERVA MCGONAGALL: No Chill Minnie McG is Laxdisick as Hell, with a Justitopia secondary.

ALBUS DUMBLEDORE: Laxdisick as fuck, with a bit of a Bluthyoncé secondary because they’re more willing to indulge him in his fondness for chamber music and ten-pin bowling, his weird excessive love of Muggle sweets, and all of the moments when he should just be a Deal With It gif.

TOM MARVOLO “LORD VOLDINGDONG VOLDEMORT” RIDDLE: oh my god, Laxdisick, I’m so sorry, but he literally does not fit anywhere else.

KINGSLEY SHACKLEBOLT: Justitopia with a Laxdisick secondary. His Laxdisick secondary is very closely tied with Bluthyoncé, though, because frankly, Kingsley could go literally anywhere but Shrugstagram. He is the absolute least Shrugstagram person ever.

NYMPHADORA TONKS: Bluthyoncé, with a Laxdisick secondary. It could go probably go either way between Laxdisick and Justitopia, but honestly, I think that, for all Tonks does care about social and political issues (she wouldn’t be in the Order otherwise), her behavior overall seems more like general go-getter-ness, rather than specifically protesting anything.

PANSY PARKINSON: Bluthyoncé, but with a hardcore Laxdisick secondary.

LAVENDER BROWN: The most Bluthyoncé person you will ever meet in your life. Also, the Best Bi. But that’s not really relevant to her being the most Bluthyoncé person you will ever meet in your life.

BLAISE ZABINI: Literally the only person who can challenge Lavender’s claim to being the most Bluthyoncé person you will ever meet in your life.

CEDRIC DIGGORY: Bluthyoncé, with a Justitopia secondary. tbh, with Cedric, it’s probably close enough that he could be in either of those Houses as his primary. I just feel like he’d choose Bluthyoncé over Justitopia because he cares about people and ideals, but he chooses people over ideals, when push comes to shove, and Bluthyoncé values people in a way that’s more in line with Cedric’s.

VIKTOR KRUM: Laxdisick, with a Shrugstagram secondary. He just wants to play his Quidditch and chill with some people who don’t treat him like a freak show for being famous, okay.

FLEUR DELACOUR: Bluthyoncé as Hell, but with a hella Laxdisick secondary.

BILL WEASLEY: Bluthyoncé, with a Shrugstagram secondary. I’m torn between that and a Laxdisick secondary for Bill, since he’s cool and all, but he’s also one of the only three known characters to have gotten all twelve O.W.L.s and he was a Prefect, then Head Boy. But his overall attitude still makes me lean toward Shrugstagram.

CHARLIE WEASLEY: Laxdisick, with a Shrugstagram secondary.

PERCY WEASLEY: Laxdisick as fuck, with a Bluthyoncé secondary that he would try so hard to deny, but oh boy howdy, it’s there.

FRED WEASLEY: Shrugstagram, with a Laxdisick secondary (because Fred is the one who asked Angelina to the Yule Ball by yelling at her from across the common room and masterminded stunts like dumping a bunch of experimental sweets in front of Dudley in the name of testing them on a human subject who had no ability to consent or not).

GEORGE WEASLEY: Shrugstagram, with a Bluthyoncé secondary (because George is the one, out of the two of them, who displays more emotional awareness and more sensitivity to the needs and desires of other people — like when he reminds Oliver that he’s a good player, too, and is more annoyed with Percy for making Molly cry than for “choosing the Ministry over his family”).

GILDEROY LOCKHART: Bluthyoncé, with a Laxdisick secondary.

DOLORES UMBRIDGE: Laxdisick, with a Justitopia secondary — look, I know it seems like I’m bagging on Laxdisick in all of this, especially right now, but I put her partially in my own House, okay?

Also, to explain: Umbridge is a social crusader in her own way. She crusades for things that are terrible and is, in many ways, a moral guardian who thinks that she knows what’s best for everyone better than they do (not unlike Dumbledore, which is why she totally should have been a Gryffindor, not a Slytherin, thanks much JKR) and genuinely believes that her way of doing things is The Best Way For Everyone’s Betterment.

Basically, just because she’s deplorable and vaguely fascist doesn’t mean that she doesn’t live by very Justitopian principles or in very Justitopian ways.

It’s the same principle as saying that being a Gryffindor does not mean that you are always in the right or even a good person, c.f. Peter Pettigrew, Cormac McLaggen, Romilda Vane, James “hey, Evans, I’ll stop bullying and publicly humiliating your friend simply because he exists and I’m bored if you go out with me” Potter, Sirius “I tried to straight-up murder this guy who pissed me off, in a way that would’ve gotten one of my best friends sent to Azkaban if not executed, and I still think of it as a silly prank that was totally hilarious Remus, shut up” Black, Molly and Arthur Weasley, and Albus “dude, let’s just say that he knowingly left a child in an abusive home so that he could raise said kid ‘like a pig for slaughter’ because that’s only the start of it but I’ve got other shit to do tonight” Dumbledore.

Like, you can be a crusader for something and you can care about social and political issues without necessarily being a good person or even caring in ways that line up with what most Justitopians believe, y’know what I mean?

However, two big things make her more of a Laxdisick primary, ultimately: 1. She cares more about using supreme executive authority to do what she wants and more about actually DOING things than about high-minded debate (whereas, in Justitopia, we would spend an entire day debating some shit and only end up deciding that we need to schedule another debate);

and 2. Frankly, she would choose Laxdisick over Justitopia, in the end. The Eaglecrest Sorting Hat might send her to Justitopia, but Umbridge would choose Laxdisick for herself if it did, because she wouldn’t want to be surrounded by the predominantly Left-leaning “rabble” in Justitopia.

REGULUS BLACK: Laxdisick, with a Shrugstagram secondary — though it could also be the other way around.

Like, let’s just get this out of the way: Regulus’s outrage at Voldemort that led to his death was not based in any moral objections; there is literally nothing in the text to suggest that he actually had a change of heart about Blood Purism, Pureblood supremacy, or anything like that. His outrage was based in, “Hey, you hurt MY House Elf, who is MY friend, what the Hell, that’s not cool, I will wreck your shit, you bastard.”

So, nope. Unlike his big brother, Regulus is not going to Justitopia any time soon. His deal comes down to being a mix of Laxdisick’s go-getting and concern for things like status and being Better Than You

and Shrugstagram’s desire for peace and chill that can frankly border on apathy (because Regulus is the quieter Black brother, the one who’s more likely to have told Sirius to stop making Walburga angry and go, “YOU’RE the one who’s making this home a toxic environment!” when Sirius stood up for himself to their abusive shit-bag supremacist parents, and who joined the Death Eaters because his family told him to and he wanted to make them happy)

ANDROMEDA BLACK-TONKS: Laxdisick, with either a Bluthyoncé or a Justitopia secondary. But the secondary House here could seriously go either way. I’d personally lean more toward Bluthyoncé, because frankly, marrying Ted and telling her family where to stick it does not inherently mean that Andromeda has the active concern for social and political issues that defines Justitopia, but it could go either way.

NARCISSA BLACK-MALFOY: Bluthyoncé, with a Shrugstagram secondary that she would try very, very hard to deny — but let’s face it: Narcissa only really cares about anything when it affects her, Draco, her sisters, and/or Lucius personally, in that order. She’s, like, the epitome of someone who just wants to lounge around with her #aesthetic fripperies and visit art galleries with a plan to buy the gallery, rather than buying the art, and wants you to know that she’s better than you, but in a way that’s too lackadaisical for Laxdisick.

BELLATRIX BLACK-LESTRANGE: Laxdisick. ……Yeah, that’s all I have to say about that.

SIBYLL TRELAWNEY: Shrugstagram, with a Bluthyoncé secondary.

ZACHARIAS SMITH: ……okay, this little shit might challenge James’s and Draco’s claims to being the single most Laxdisick to ever Laxdisick. Because……… no, seriously. He is so Laxdisick that it hurts.

ERNIE MACMILLAN: Laxdisick, with a Justitopia secondary. But Ernie is way more Laxdisick than Justitopia. Like, it’s there, but he’s still so painfully Laxdisick.

JUSTIN FINCH-FLETCHLEY: Shrugstagram, with a Justitopia secondary — Justin’s secondary House is probably very closely tied between all of the non-Shrugstagram options. Like, I could see him telling the Sorting Hat, “Ugh, will you please just send me to that Shrugstagram one, this is getting really tedious” because there are decent cases for all of the Houses, and Shrugstagram would only win out because he’d get Tired of debating his Sorting instead of something better.

and okay, I’m getting bored and really do have other things to go do tonight, so I’m just gonna do three more in the name of pointless (and mindless) self-indulgence

EILEEN PRINCE: Shrugstagram with a Laxdisick secondary — and I will completely acquiesce that Eileen is pretty much entirely headcanon, but I don’t care. No one else loves Eileen, and JKR and Pottermore refuse to call her “Eileen Prince” while insisting on forever linking her to her abusive shit-bag husband by calling her, “Eileen Snape,” so screw it. If not even her creator gives half-a-crap about Eileen, then I’m going to love her ten times harder.

Eileen Claudia Prince is my cranky, snarky, perpetually exasperated, bisexual daughter with a permanent resting stink face and I love her. She’s totally done things wrong, but she does not deserve any of the shit that her gross-ass husband or her fuck-up son ever put her through (Tobias by being an abusive drunk, and Severus by fucking up literally everything).

Also, all of that nonsense on Pottermore about Minerva having a husband was full of shit. Everybody knows that Eileen and Minerva were girlfriends in school, then split up for a while, then got back together after Severus murdered his father and got away with it because Tobias was a shit-bag and no one cared enough to investigate his death.

Eileen and Minerva are girlfriends, do not listen to JK Rowling when she lies to you about either of them being heterosexual or about either of them only having one romantic love in their entire lives and it was some husband because of course it was, JKR can’t actually let any of that LGBTQ shit get all over her story, everything must be heteronormative af and boring because fuck you, she said Dumbledore was gay at Carnegie Hall that one time, ten years ago, what more do you want

……whoops, I got a bit Justitopia there for a second. I would apologize, but I’m not sorry.

So, anyway, as I was Sorting………

BARTY CROUCH, JR.: Bluthyoncé, with a Laxdisick secondary — okay, this is almost as headcanon as my Eileen Sorting, but not quite as much. The issue here is less a lack of canon, like Eileen, and more that there’s a decent amount of canon (at least, there is when you compare Barty to other minor characters in the series), but JKR and the text never take a firm position on any of it, which leaves it open to interpret him in a lot of ways.

Seriously, I’m not kidding.

I’ve loved this little bastard ever since the first time I read GOF, back in the summer of 2000, when it first came out. I’ve been in the HP fandom online for longer than some of you have been alive.

Granted, in a lot of fandom places, most people don’t remember that Barty even exists, and a lot of the people who do, only remember him for the sake of making painful Doctor Who jokes because David Tennant played him in the movie, or that classic, “Q: Why did Barty Crouch Jr. quit drinking? / A: Because it was making him Moody, har har!” line

(and seriously, these jokes are not funny anymore. They haven’t been funny for years. Guys, can we please collectively let it go)

But among the fans who actually deal with him, there are some WILDLY differing interpretations — from, “He probably wasn’t even involved in torturing Frank and Alice, he might not have even been a Death Eater in the First War and only turned because he went to Azkaban and almost died and then got kept on Imperius Curse house arrest (which is probably its own form of torture tbh), it’s all his stupid abusive dad’s fault” (which…… I disagree A LOT, but okay)

to, “He is seriously the cruelest and most heartless monster in the series, second only to Voldemort; he’s basically a sociopath, a completely terrifying sociopath with no soul, I bet the Dementor who Kissed him didn’t even taste anything” (I disagree with this one as much as I disagree with the other extreme, but for different reasons. Like, for starters, “Okay, but, ’sociopath’ is an outdated and functionally useless term, but if you mean antisocial personality disorder, then…… no, actually, his behavior does not really indicate that, but thanks for playing”);

and let’s not even get started on the Sorting, because I’ve seen arguments for all four Hogwarts houses with him and literally the only one that doesn’t hold water is Ravenclaw (because it’s literally just, “Well, his Father had that one line about him getting all twelve O.W.L.s and he’s a bonafide evil genius, I can’t put all the unsorted Death Eaters into Slytherin or people will say I’m hating, and I refuse to accept any interpretation of Hufflepuff that isn’t some reductionistic bullshit about how they’re all unimpeachable cinnamon rolls or acknowledge that Peter Pettigrew, canonical Gryffindor, was also a Death Eater — so, Barty gets to be a token non-Slytherin DE, and he has to be a Ravenclaw because of Reasons”)

—but they all (usually) have some kind of basis in the text (even if they take it to conclusions of which we can only say, “Well, you’re not wrong”

So, anyway. My interpretation of canon is that Barty Crouch Jr. would be a Bluthyoncé with a Laxdisick secondary (and frankly, it’s probably pretty close between them, with his Mama Demeter being a Bluthyoncé/Laxdisick and his Father being a Laxdisick/Justitopia), and I’ll probably explain why if anyone actually wants to know

But right now, I want to go do something different, so I’m gonna.

At least, I will once I sort……

RUBEUS HAGRID: Shrugstagram, with a Bluthyoncé secondary — because yeah, Hagrid’s all about being chill and super-cool and encouraging and supporting the kids, but he does appreciate beauty in his own way (as in, “He looks at literal dragons that could straight-up kill you if they felt like it, and he just marvels at how majestic and beautiful they are”) and he does have a party streak in him. So…… Bluthyoncé secondary. For real.

I’m done now.

You’re free.

Go on, go home, there is nothing left to see here.

Thank you for reading, okay, bye

[ssimpleandclean]

Bodhi week Day One!

It’s Bodhi appreciation week! He deserves all the appreciation in the world, lbr. 

For day one’s prompt: bonding with the Rogue One crew. Not quite what I thought it was gonna be when I started it, but hey, sometimes that’s how it goes. Just a lil bitty drabble, so no AO3 link this time. Text below the cut!

At first, Bodhi can’t quite figure out how quickly Rogue One starts to feel like a family.

It’s not just that they went through hell together, though that’s definitely part of it. He’s rarely alone in the days after the destruction of the Death Star, and on the rare occasions when it’s not one or more of his teammates keeping him company, there are always pilots and technicians who want to hear the story of Scarif first hand. Still, he can’t quite figure out how, after knowing them for barely a week and a half, the sight of any of his teammates is enough to send a pang of warmth through his chest.

Don’t get him wrong; he likes it. He likes feeling like he’s a part of something. But he’s always been one to tinker with things, to take them apart so he can figure out how they work. It’s part of why he became a pilot; that and a quiet, pervasive wanderlust. He’s never made friends so quickly or deeply before, and he wants to know why.

It takes him most of a week to put his finger on it.

He’s sighting down a blaster in the firing range, trying to keep his hands steady enough to aim at the target a few dozen meters away. Cassian stands next to him, eying his stance.

“Relax, Bodhi,” he says.

“I’m trying,” Bodhi says.

Cassian taps on the back of one hand gently. “Your knuckles are white. You fire like that, the recoil’s going to break your wrist.”

But Bodhi barely hears him; with that one casual touch, the question he’s been working at for the past week is suddenly answered.

In the Empire, there was no such thing as casual touch. Personal connections, forming attachments; that sort of thing was all discouraged (to put it mildly), to the point where so much as a hug was a punishable offense.

Looking back, Bodhi’s astonished he didn’t notice it before. It was different from the very beginning; Cassian, reaching out through the bars to shake his arm. Nudging him out of his horrified freeze to run from the tidal wave of earth on Jedha. Jyn, clasping his hand before they split up on Scarif. Baze helping him to the medbay when they arrived back on Yavin. Chirrut patting him on the back. Rebel pilots thumping his shoulders in triumph after the Death Star. Jyn ruffling his hair affectionately as she passes by in the cantina.

To anyone else, it wouldn’t be remarkable. To Bodhi, it’s everything.

Cassian nudges his arm. “Bodhi? Everything okay?”

Bodhi shakes off his reverie. “Yeah, sorry. I’m fine.”

“We don’t have to do this,” Cassian says. “If you don’t want to—“

“I want to,” Bodhi says firmly. The option to quit – which he would never have been given in the Empire – is enough to remind him that this is not the Empire. He doesn’t have to get this right on the first try.

He lifts the blaster again, taking a deep, slow breath as he sights down it at the target. He squeezes the trigger, and blinks away the afterimage of blaster fire to see—

It’s not great. The pockmarks from his shots start well above center mass, and judging by the scorch marks on the wall behind the target he missed entirely on a couple of them. But it’s an improvement, and Cassian claps him on the shoulder, grinning. “Nice work.”

Bodhi smiles. “Thanks.”

[latiimer]

yes i had to use this cap because look at that smile??????? why couldn’t we have gotten more of that smile in the show????? also yes you’re all my squad and you’re stuck with me now. none of you are allowed to leave. you’re with me for life. you’ve gotten me through the lows and the highs (because lbr there’s been more lows than highs with the last series *stares at chibnall* and just helping me get through it all and say fuck you to canon where it was necessary like wtf ellie miller would have fuckign been upset why the fuck didn’t we see that on screen and someone stop me now before this becomes a full on post about that shitty thing that i’m saying isn’t and never will be canon because fuck you she would have been upset) and just you’re all so amazing and idek how i had this blog without any of you because just these people are all so important to me and mark and just he needs all of you in his own ways. now before i ramble on here too much (because we all know that i do and will do it again here) let me get into the juicy bits where i’ll try not to make you cry but no promises aka here’s over a thousand words of me rambling about you lot because i love each and every one of you so much

@dsmiller – of course you gotta be first, char. other than me, i think you’re the person that’s been around in the fandom the longest as of late. you’ve come so far since i first saw your little blog pop up in the tags back in december like ???? how has it been that long omg. would it be kinda rude for me to take credit for how far you’ve come??? but just i’m like your proud mum tbh and just it feels as if you’ve been here forever and remember when we were joking that we would only even be a fandom of two people??? well look at us now the wait was so worth it (but i’m not up to them yet, i’m still on you). your ellie is just wow amazing and just you do her so much justice and love her so much. plus also our totally unexpected ship like ?????? i swore for nearly two years that mark/ellie wouldn’t ever be a thing and now i’m having to eat my own words because they’re amazing. i love them so much and tbh i don’t think it could have ever happened with another ellie because your ellie is just the best friend that mark could ever hope for

@failedthelastone / @nctacrank – my wife. the love of my life. how did i ever write on this blog without you???? i literally can’t believe that it’s only been a few weeks since we started talking and even less since we began writing together. you and your beth have just become so engrained into mark and who he is that i just can’t see a way that i can keep going on without your beth as a part of mark’s life. even if it took us too long to actually know each other’s names, literally like it didn’t matter at all because we just get on so well and it’s just like we’re on the same wavelength sometimes actually no more than sometimes. like nearly all of the time. you can be as petty as me (coughthatsextingthreadcough) and just so so brilliant like no joke idk how i went on for so long not having a beth for my mark as just she is so detrimental to him that he needs her more than i can ever attempt to put into words. your writing is just wow amazing and i literally cannot wait to see each of your replies and oh man the hours i have spent awake with your just to talk about mark and beth are ridiculous but i have loved every second of it and do not regret a single thing honestly. you are mine just as beth is mark’s and we’re not going to let either one of you go ever. get used to having us around. you’re stuck with us. also also also i was just about to get onto posting this and i remembered gi! like gdi mark and beth need some family left (and thank you so so so so much for helping me develop mark’s mum like you have no idea how much you’ve helped me but imma shut up now before this literally gets too long though lbr it already is) and just gi is perfect honestly. i can totally see her in the show and just fuck chibnall again because damn it she’s canon whether he likes it or not. literally like they need some kind of family and ffs three series and they couldn’t even give us that??? so yes gi is mark’s sister and that’s not ever going to change no matter what happens at all. he’s always going to be protective as fuck over her and she’s his little sister forever now whether they’re related by blood or not mark doesn’t even care tbh

@amillixnvoices – chloe chloe chloe chloe chloe like do you know how long i have been waiting for a chloe to write with ????? it’s just like nearly two years omg i have never had one for as long as i’ve written mark and just you’re perfection. just the way that you see chloe is amazing and honestly they have the absolute best relationship and mark loves his baby girl so so much and just he’s never going to let go of her. she’s living with him forever whether she likes it or not. you’re always up for anything that i suggest or throw at you and just i’m sorry (not sorry) for all the memes that i send your way because just i need all of the mark and chloe things in my life and there is so much adorableness between the two of them and if chloe thinks she’s lucky to have a dad like mark that just doesn’t even compare to how lucky mark feels to have lucked out and had a daughter as amazing as chloe and just you do her so much justice (even if she is sending texts that mark really never wants to see or hear about again to daisy)

@daisyhardy / @pculcoates – where do i even start??? paul or daisy???? okay it’s gotta be paul because of reasons and those reasons are obviously paul/becca like idgaf what people say about them they are cute and adorable and are going to have half a dozen babies and don’t paul even dare suggest ever having anymore or becca will ensure that he isn’t able to have anymore and it’ll hurt. but legit though i love them so much and am just so glad that i have met someone who appreciates them in the same way that i do because they are so worthy and i am still so wrecked that they didn’t bring becca back during series three because gdi they needed more time together and to not have half of their oh so fucking important scenes cut out of the show (i s2g me and chibnall are gonna have words if i ever meet him). and then there’s daisy and just did i ever tell you that i once had a daisy blog??? it was way back in the day in like 2014 when literally like three people knew she existed and that she had a name from the novel that was released to go along with series one of the show. i do have a point to this and that is that daisy has and is still kind of my baby from back when i played her oh so long ago and just i was kind of nervous when i first saw your blog but just wowwww like you smashed any doubts that i had within a day or two and i’m just so glad that you play her and make her so much more than just hardy’s daughter. also just chloe/daisy being a thing is amazing because gdi chloe needs someone good in her life and daisy is that person

@mangfoldigmuses – ani, literally as i’m typing this you’re calling me satan for giving you feels, but hey i’m nice(ish) and like honestly i couldn’t not include you on this. your alec is just like wowwwww there hasn’t been another one since i started writing mark (a long long time ago now) that he has had any ral sort of connection with and just ???? i could always see that potential, but no one was ever interested in anything like that. okay lbr here and imma just flat out say that hardy isn’t my favourite character in the show but he has grown on me during series three and i think that is partly to do with you as well. your alec just feels like a real person??? idk how to describe it but just he feels real and that he’s more than just a detective in a suit. he’s not just harsh and he has feelings and like there is just so much more to him than we usually get to see, the way that he well acts and pretends kind of if you know what i mean???? but just yes no matter how many feels i give you or how many times that mark almost kills alec inadvertently we still love you okay?

okay i think i’m done (i’m probably not) but legit this is over 1500 words and i should stop typing before i kill my fingers or turn angsty again because this post could take a turn for the worst if i start throwing more sad hcs at you and i’ll be nice this time and not let you all suffer my angst this time