#laurance is so miserable in my head

[komilys]

not to be an angsty fucker but my head is very much plagued with thoughts of laurance— and now particularly diaries laurance and what seeing mystreet laurance would mean for him.

cw. major character death ! (me lol)

when it comes to the actual story bits, i’m still very unsure with the specifics but i know diaries laurance and kyi have a tragic ending.

the void and divine warriors/gods play a part in it— i do know that— and it also involves kyi sacrificing himself (er, me sacrificing myself).

we’ve never had exactly a nice love story either. it involves a lot of distrust and tears, and abandonment. happiness doesn’t last, and we knew that, but i think at some point we thought maybe we could be happy. maybe for once the world would be kind.

that’s not what happens of course.

mystreet in general is the “happier” diaries— it was made that way by lord aphmau (by then fully embraced herself as irene). so of course, kyi and laurance have a happy ending. aphmau-irene designed it that way.

(an apology to kyi for everything she’d done, both in this life and the past)

i think diaries laurance would break! i really think he would just lose it.

hearing mystreet laurance talk about their life together, mundane and ordinary, but it’s something diaries laurance always wanted with kyi but couldn’t have— can’t have. i think he really couldn’t handle seeing mystreet laurance so happy— (“woah, you got a cool sword, man!”) not knowing how many lives he’d taken with one just like this.

whatever helpless and sick feelings he’s ever felt in his life— the sick shit that screams at him that he’s a monster— it just comes flooding back. he thought he was fine, okay, able to get past this, but he can’t.

and he’s angry. he’s really angry because why not him too?

why didn’t he get the hand holding in the hallways, the rainy day cuddles, the good morning and goodnights, the stupid and petty arguments.

why did he get weeks of feelings of betrayal lingering in his stomach until he felt sick, irrepressible thoughts that have him curling in on himself so tight, not being able to even recognise himself in the mirror because since when did he look so tired.

why did he get the unfortunate fate of having to holding the person he loves most in the world and say goodbye knowing it’s the last ‘i love you’ he’ll ever say.

and when mystreet laurance asks: “what about you? your kyi?”

diaries laurance nods and says: “i love him– he’s home” and it’s only a half-lie.

[starhvney]

Hi, this is my first time sending a request ever. I hope I'm doing this correctly. ':3

I'd like to order a mys Laurence, some tea with cinnamon on top and a blueberry turnover, please, and thank you! (love your writing so much♡)

𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝟎𝟓: 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐮𝐩 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐨��𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐫!!

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: romantic tension, hurt/comfort, character is sick.

𝐚/𝐧: thank you so much for the kind words! it means a lot that you liked my writing enough to make a request. i hope you love this one, too! ^^

𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ☆ 𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

A long, dramatic groan leaves Laurance’s paled lips. The brunet was laid back on his bed like a sickly Victorian child, hand placed over his heart as if this was his last moments on his deathbed. There was no suave attitude or air of self assurance he always seemed to have; just the mushy, helpless form of what you think either might be your crush or an imposter.

“This is it. It’s over for me,” he rasps, turning his head to the side and wincing when his headache spikes again.

You can only sigh.

He was usually so self-reliant; always on the mature side and insisting on always taking care of you and everyone else instead of him. So the fact he had called you for rescue through his sick, slurred voice over the phone was enough for you to know he really did need help. Though, he totally seemed to be milking your pity for him, for whatever strange reason he had…

Still, you were surprised at how he was acting when you got here. You hadn’t ever seen him so weak before, the poor thing laying across his bed halfway like he’d barely made it back to the mattress before collapsing. This cold was seriously kicking him in the ass. It did make you feel bad, but you also couldn’t deny the fluttering in your chest that he wanted you of all people to take care of him and see him so vulnerable.

You bring the back of your hand to his forehead when he groans again, his eyes fluttering shut as he practically melts at the contact. His skin undoubtedly was much too hot to the touch.

“I seriously feel like I’m dying,” he whines, hand coming up to your wrist to keep your cool hand on him. “Please save me.”

Despite his tendencies for random playfulness and flirtation, even the way he was acting now was something you hadn’t seen before. Seriously, what was with him…?

…He should probably take some more medicine. It’s clear his fever was making him act this way, you conclude with a light sigh. Another almost inaudible whine leaves his lips when you pull away to stand and make your way to the door.

“Wait, where are you going?” His hand flops over the side of his bed as he reaches after you.

“To get you some soup or something so you can take more medicine. You’re burning up.”

“No! No, I ah… can’t be left alone. I’ll die.” he quickly says, lips pouting as he nods insistently, wincing once again as he does. “A terrible, lonely death.”

You deadpan, eyes searching over his pale face. His eyelids and nose were tinged red, and the usually sharp gaze he always had was now glazed over, eyebrows pulled together pathetically. He was being dramatic, for sure, but he really did seem miserable.

“You’ll die in the five minutes I’ll be gone?”

“Yeah. Just… stay here for a little bit.” he mutters, his chest heaving as he holds back a wheezy cough. “I can wait to take medicine for a little longer.”

You curse at how easily you give in, the smug look that briefly flashes across his face making you want to shake him around. That wouldn’t exactly help the situation, though, so you simply sigh as you sit back next to him.

“It’s true that men turn into big babies when they’re sick. You’re acting like a child,” you mutter, voice unable to hold any sternness. “Seriously, I’ve never seen you act like this.”

“I just… want to be next to you for a while.” He looks up at you, swallowing as his face grows paler, eyes shutting. “Ugh… and I really do feel awful.”

You frown, reaching up to his clammy cheek. This whole situation felt much too intimate for two friends. It was like you were his doting girlfriend or wife instead. A moment passes as you shuffle through your confused thoughts, this closeness between you throwing your poor heart through a loop. As if he already didn’t do it enough on his own without trying.

You clear your throat, shaking your head as you return your focus. Those thoughts needed to be put away for now, especially with how faint he was seeming to become.

“Thank you, by the way,” his hoarse voice speaks up, hand reaching out to grasp yours. “I know I’m being a pain.”

“You aren’t being a pain. I wanted to do this,” you reassure, pressing your lips together as you glance down at your connected hands. “This is how I know you’re sick out of your mind. Where’s the Mr. Confidence everyone’s used to?”

“Mph… don’t have enough energy for it,” he mutters, before a small smirk makes its way onto his lips. “But I did have enough to get you to come fuss over me. It may have cost a bit of dignity, but it’s so worth it. You should’ve seen how your face looked when you ran in here...”

“And the truth comes out,” you strain to say through the flustered wave that washes over you, quickly pulling back and walking back to the door as your heart pounds against your rib cage. “I’m getting you that soup now.”

“…Wait! Please, come back!”

©starhvney 2024. do not plagiarize, feed to any AI, or repost my works to any sites.

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[a-bored-shadow-knight]

day 21

bad news. katelyn was attacked when she went back to the ship. she told aphmau it was jeffory? no idea who that is, but he sounds familiar. anyway she then said it wasn’t actually that guy but a creature. the creature was definitely an imp. i don’t like this island. i think the longer we stay the worse the magic will be. anyway. katelyn is ok, just a little shocked. as i was drawing our cabin, aphmau brought this guy, travis i think. she told us he watches over the the island, fighting imps and stuff, and that he would be coming home with us. is phoenix drop my home now…? home. funny word. ireneeee this magic is getting to me. it doesn’t help that the two kids have run off somewhere. so now katelyn’s injured, kids are missing, and some dude claiming to be the demon warlock’s son shows up. why can’t we have peaceful adventures? i just want to explore this world’s architecture again. it’s been so long… im starting to miss the warmth of the nether. no, i shouldn’t. that place was miserable. hmmm maybe i should talk to laurance… or the little voices in my head. just kidding, there’s no voices, only you journal!

-theo A.