#lately tho its like every night i have some vivid wild dream. i do need my brain to chill

[faunandfloraas]

Ending my excellent weekend by having the most horrific dream ever 🫰

[janexeu]

     though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, JANE MÁRQUEZ is actually a descendent of HYPNOS. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY-SIX year old DEMIGOD ELEMENTARY EDUCATION MAJOR from NEW ORLEANS, USA has taken after HER godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite SACRIFICIAL & STUBBORN.

( she’s b-b-b-back on her bs : katya ! tis uhm ,,,, a lil bit of a chonk of an intro but ill try 2 b cute w it. any time u wanna yeet jus peep the gif again & forgive me bc Look At Her ! )

POWERS ( more info here )

hypnokinesis  — p much made her a glorified babysitter w lynch-esque wacko dreams. it got stronger naturally as she got older, but jus w herself n eventually the ppl shes real close w. its also gotten a lot better since comin to eonia 

seeing gods in dreams  — she doesnt hang out w em every fridays at tgifs but like ,,, if she had Pertinent Questions she cud smhw make it happen. found out abt her being a demigod at age 10 when she met hypnos

memory retrieval — shes got great memry of her own but bc she knows it can help w grief n all that, shes been learnin in eonia how to do it 4 others if they mayb wanted it

BIO POINTS 

her single ma died during childbirth so jane's been in the foster care system since 5ever. attempts at reunification nvr worked out but thankfully she got real lucky w her group home and foster families. twas stable enough to not emotionally scar her even further but the instability of it all was fosho a big ol’ lot and has influenced her rigidness in sum aspects of her life

she lived p much as a mortal even tho her powers r a lil freaky. never went to camp but it worked out bc all her abilities r internal and cannot be Perceived by others. she had a talk w hypnos abt what 2 do n he mentioned camps but also gave sum monster avoidance tips ( like rarely use ur powers, maybe learn self defense, yada yada ) n she jus ,,, did that so she cud continue livin real normal w the mortals. logistics of camp stressed her out esp bc shes livin w non-family n stuff yk it was All Too Much, miss her w the added demigod stress tyvm

got married at 23 to her childhood sweetums luis, but he ,,, died abt a yr later fr a car accident. coma for 2 weeks n jane p much slept the entire time in his hospital room, visitin his dreams n talkin to him. twas a life support sitch so they eventually decided to pull da plug whch was real sad but like she's processed it 2 da best of her abilities. her powers helped a lot in the coping too n she visits memories of him in her dreams smtms when it gets real sad then shes ok again bc life goes on n life is pretty uwu

bc of her bg round kids of all kinds, shes always been passionate abt em. always takin babysittin/tutor gigs and went to community college so she cud teach n then worked as an elem teacher. only started considerin goin 2 eonia 4 postgrad when she had a student who showed signs n strugglez of bein a demigod. she eventually got to talk to their godly parent 2 confirm n she was shocked pikachu meme, real concerned for all those youngins who hav no clue what to do ! or how to cope ! bc they cant facetime w the olympians lyk she can ! so cue her discussin eonia w luis a lot then a year after the accident, broke out the pro-con list again. took abt *checks watch* another yr til she finally decided to zoom 2 athens but then whoosh she did !

PERSONALITY

yearning ? idk her — shes can be a bit of a take it as is typa chick. can be a lil literal jsksj not dumb but like ,,, def doesnt read into things enuff to pine n long n year yk. some things might def fly over her head. she says Yes To Serotonin in this house. she dk the the mitskis n the sikens n the carsons ; its all mary oliver up in this joint. we just tryna luv life n be grateful folkz

le freak, say chic ! — control freak, that is. growin up in an unstable envi meant shed cling 2 stability n independence, wrvr she cud get it. so when it comes 2 the way she does things, she can be real a heel digger. also bc she has 2 deal w kids yk so it can b A Lot n shes v stern lyk dat. ofc she wont infantilize the eonians .,,,. or will she ? big sis vibes outta control. she means well tho always always means well. itll also b v hard to get her 2 giv up on sum1 bc life ? she luvs it n knows u can too

changes by david bowie — is decidedly skipped on the playlist. she doesnt like change !!! i mean she knows its inevitable but still not entire unavoidable. ever since she got out of the system, shes had a partner n her own way of doing things n its been workin out so why change it yk ? she says time may change me but jokes on u i can sorta trace time 

rip but im different — this goes out to all em whores in this house. she respectz ur hustle but like ,,,, not her thang. girl doesnt even get drunk when she drinks bc she doesnt rlly drink sksjsk doesnt like the taste of it, big baby ! but like she's Lived, its more like. ok tried it, not for me. thanks tho. also for all the meanies in the house, y’all perplex her. shes empathetic n wont show the judgement but smtms shes lowkey lyk .,., ur how old n u had all this goin 4 u n ur still so rotten ? how u actin like a 7yo w a trantrum ? scratch head, make it make sense

at least u tried — dad jokes, bad puns, tries to be big jokester but isn't funny. she's pretty tho so she gets away with it. idk wht else 2 say ur honor. shes the type thatll embarrass u w affection

well that was Awkward — probably sum1 abt her if  they see her actin a Fool bc shes in a foreign sitch or topic. when shes a fish outta water then she can be so ! easily ! flustered ! which is p much her in eonia. shes not new new but theres way 2 much godly shennanigans for her to wrap her head ‘round n sis has never gone to camp so its ice bucket challenge level shock from time to time still w da magics n lore

til death do us part — yknow when death cab for cutie said i knew that u wer a truth i wud rather lose than 2 hav nvr lain beside at all ? how abt when they wrecked me by rudely sayin love is watching sum1 die ? yes ? no ? nywy thats jane 4 ya. if she loves then shes in and if shes in then she is all in, luke danes stylez

was that a vivid enough picture or did i just word vom the same things agen n agen sjksjs jus know shes cute n sweet if a lil frustrating n annoying bc shes stubbornpants mcgee. may or may not have a slight compulsion to help fix other ppl ..,,.. someone set her str8 n tell her fix u by coldplay isnt it !!!  

OTHER INFO 

5′9″ born 4 october 1994, virgo sun n moon

not a freshie ! idk how long her program is but like ,,, lets ignore that 4 now ok jus kno that she been here a while

yogi & boxing enthusiast back at home. hc her mans got real into the martial arts w her when hypnos told her she gotta learn how 2 defend so that was one of their things : bonding by workouts so jane cud protecc herself if need be

her maiden name’s jane fulton. got her mommas surname but the name jane ? thats some jane doe bs some rando picked out for her which she hated at first but then seeing tarzan made her go hmmm, ok bet !

lgbtq+ alliance president ! identifies as pan

she met her late hubbie when they were abt 7ish, real friends 2 lovers cuteness. jane was there for him throughout his entire coming out & transition ergo her passion for the community esp queer kids bc she was That Cis Ally for her mans. wears her ring as a real lowkey necklace now

shes also real passionate abt sleep. will ask u how did u sleep last night p much every day u see her bc ppl spend like half their lives asleep catherine ofc shes gonna ask

her fave thing abt eonia ?  the whole siblings bit. shes had 2 make do w what she got n build a family from scratch so this ? she luvs it a lot let her give u kithes hypnos babies

shes p well versed in the greek thingies but only thru the knowledge mortals gets + dream info. after her realizin who she is, all things ancient greek jus sorta became her niche interest ykwim ? shes not like Super Learned abt it more like ,,, ok i gotta at least make Sum sense outta all this, gotta learn what i can. imagin how embarrassin it wud b 2 see a god in ur dream n then go : sorry to this man. nope. not jane, not her, nuh-uh 

luv languages : words, acts of service, physical touch !

useless hcs but she loves disney sfm ok. smtms dresses up as princess tiana for bday parties n shit bc shell do nythin 2 put a smile on the kids n babs faces

ya like jazz ? bc jane surely does ! adores motown & 60s music. nina simone owns her. no one drag peggy lee from 101 dalmatians ! not an important hc but i jus wanted to quote my bubble butt winged bee lover barry

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS

children ! infants ! babies !

demigods that make her scratch head damn u live like this ? but also wud knife emoji to protect n care for. shes not the oldest on campus but shes been livin independently p much her entire life so she finks shes got a tight grasp on the myth that is Adulting  

srsly tho the Big Sis vibes is off the charts w this one. shell perserve u dumdums

baddie influencies !

convince her 2 get drunk at a party ! bc she never does. convince her to maybe try drugs ! or go hook up ! do smths impulsive idk jus smth new !

gl tho bc shes not rlly ,,, easily influenced But she can b reasoned w ! in general i fink its just gonna be a fun dynamic if y/m knows how to coax sum wildness outta her or w/e bc thotty yummy theyre hotty yolo rzning jus wont do w this gal. will most likely get argumentative like a big ol momma hen but if u win then ur winning big

Sleep Now or forever hold ur peace !

idk sum1 she helps w their messy sleep ? shes def not super public w it, surely knows her other siblings r Better at it but if  y’all are close, she probs enjoys doin it 4 ya. she runs her hair thru fingers a lot when she does it. like a lot a lot unless u tell her to get lost

lover boi, lover gorl, lover enby !

she can be a lil traditional when it comes to how she views rels. she wants all that meetcute courting bs ! no gender roles tho n u best be sure shes not constantly comparin w her late hubbie ,,, but she jus wants smth magical n 2 be wooed again yk ?

so yea ,,, crushers mayhaps ? sum1 who is tryin 2 woo her ? sum1 she had a meetcute w and now janes got lowkey heart eyes for em ? idk lotsa possiblities but pls keep in mind she is not good at the flirtings so hav mercy on her 

eonia tour guide !

or jus friends who like ,,, constnatly fill her in w all the godly stuff n whatnot. years of not goin 2 camps mean u miss out on a lot ! explore ruins w her n get her info her mortal educ didnt make her privy 2 yk 

head real empty atm i will think of sum n let y’all know when i do, but give us all the conekshunz. friends, enemies, the usual bit, lgbtq alliance peeps, lmk whats up whats done whats cookin we want it all

( shes p much a new muse n da result of me tryna bring in an emotionally healthy kid to this sad sad university. janes in a v good well-adjusted place rn n is my therapy muse bc that other bitch m** is a messy handful. but wbk life aint linear so mayhaps shit’ll hit da fan or one of y/m will ruin her lmfao press f pls ! but also color me eyes emoji bc we love to see it )

[ksjknj]

25 namkook htx you i ow e u me lif

pls still love me even tho this is super late and probably shit

namkook +25. My nightmares are usually about losing you

tw: nightmares, drunk kiss(es)

Jeongguk was just a kid when the nightmares first started.

Just a small kid with big eyes and wild imagination, dreaming about colourful monsters living in his closet, real big and scary in the silence of his dark room, seemingly the scariest thing in his tiny head.

They got bad maybe once every few months, mild enough to forget about them once he woke up, rare enough for his parents not to notice.

He still remembers the monsters that used to haunt him, but they seem like nothing in comparison to the demons he has to fight now.

Not that often, not anymore, but whenever it happens it’s bad enough to wake him up, haunt him for hours afterwards, even in broad daylight.

It doesn’t happen often anymore, but whenever it does it’s about Namjoon.

Byulyi’s flat is pitch black when he opens his eyes, erratic breath fanning over his chapped lips. Sweat soaked bangs are sticking to his forehead in that nasty way, oversized shirt damp around his armpits and on his low back, glued to his skin. His mouth tastes like shit, remains of vodka still clinging to his teeth, tongue dry like sandpaper.

The body on the couch above him stirs, the blanket slowly falling from its shoulders.

Jeongguk stills, mouth falling shut as he presses a hand over his sweaty face, trying his hardest to keep quiet.

His breath is loud in his ears, chest tight with how fast his heart is beating. He can feel it in his throat, swallows dryly as he blinks in attempt to get rid of the white spots in his vision.

It’s silent for a while, weak moonlight coming through the windows shining onto the unmoving form, bright enough for Jeongguk to make out the line of wide shoulders.

Just as he sits up, Namjoon groans. Groans too loud to be asleep. Rolls over and slowly cranes his neck to look at Jeongguk, eyes glistening in the white light.

They stare at each other, unblinking. Jeongguk can’t look away, not when Namjoon’s eyes are so wide and bright, so alive in the comparison to the nightmare he’s just had.

Namjoon groans again as he rubs at his face, almost falls off the couch when sitting up. He mumbles something under his breath, low and quick and too soft for Jeongguk to hear, then reaches forward to place a hand on his shoulder.

Jeongguk’s mind is still spinning, eyes uselessly focused on Namjoon’s lips, fingers tugging at the loose fabric of his torn shirt.

Namjoon’s cold body lying on the beach still vivid in his head, his face so pale in contrast to the gold sand. Waves washing onto the shore hitting his face, his eyes, running into his mouth and nose.

All so real and vivid it almost brings tears to his eyes. His chest only tightens more with Namjoon’s face right in front of his, oddly blue in the middle of the night with no real light source around them.

Makes him want to reach out, touch his face, find his pulse. Make sure he’s still breathing, still alive, still there.

The horrible fear from the dream still lasting, won’t leave him alone. Keeps him in that odd cloud high above everything, almost as if he’s looking at himself from the outside.

That heavy feeling so strong in his stomach it makes him nauseous.

“Hey,” comes then, barely a whisper. Namjoon’s hand on his shoulder moves, rubs soothing circles if a little clumsy. Heavy with reassurement and care, helps to ground him. “Hey,” Namjoon repeats, this time a little louder, his voice all raspy and deep.

Jeongguk thinks it’s a nice voice. “Guk, you okay?”

He takes a deep breath and jerks a nod, looks at his lap while doing so.

Aside from the soft snoring coming from Byulyi’s room, the apartment is quiet, wrapped into that night calm. Jeongguk can’t help but focus on his quick breathing, Namjoon’s calm one.

“Fine,” he mumbles eventually, nodding again. The reassuring rubbing doesn’t stop, only travels to his back, smoothing the line in between his shoulderblades, moving to the back of his neck.

He shivers when Namjoon’s rough fingertips brush against the short hairs there, hums when fingers bury into his hair and scratch at his scalp in that familiar way.

Always has been like this, ever since they met. Comfortable, simple. Despite him being the youngest of the group, despite three whole years separating the two of them.

Jeongguk has always felt safe in Namjoon’s embrace, always welcomed and loved.

But now he’s making Namjoon worry, and that’s never been his intention. “Just a nightmare,” he says into the silence, automatically tilting his head to the side. “S’fine, hyung. Go back to sleep.”

It gets him a hum, but Namjoon doesn’t attempt to pull back. Keeps running his fingers through Jeongguk’s hair, gentle and careful, as he always is. Eventually, he leans closer, close enough for Jeongguk to smell the alcohol on his breath, along with something obnoxiously sweet. Traces of cologne still cling to his skin, irritating on the nose but reassuringly familiar at the same time.

“Wanna talk about it?” he asks, words slightly slurred and soft at the edges, but it makes sense because it’s the middle of the night.

It’s the middle of the night and Jeongguk is keeping Namjoon from getting his much needed sleep.

He shakes his head, sleep heavy in his bones yet again, muscles exhausted and ready to pass out.

“Nah, it’s good,” he says, but keeps staring at Namjoon’s eyes, bright in the odd light. Mesmerising almost, but Jeongguk is too tired to think about it.

Fingers in his hair still, eventually being pulled back.

“Want water?”

“Hyung, you don’t have to.”

“Do you?”

And he finds himself saying yes, yes I do, because his mouth is dry and his throat even more so. Finds his chest growing warm with the fondness and care in Namjoon’s voice, lips quirking upwards at the small gesture.

He lays back down and closes his eyes when Namjoon turns on the flashlight on his phone, too bright and blue in the darkness of the room. He pulls the covers over his shoulders, now shivering in the damp shirt clinging to his skin, beads of sweat cold on his temples.

“Here,” Namjoon says once he gets back, Jeongguk blinking open to look at him. His face is glowing in the fabricated light, dimple deep and visible even this early in the morning. He sits up with some help from Namjoon, chugs down the entire glass, then drops face first into the pillow.

Namjoon stifles a laugh behind his hand, eyes glistening with amusement.

“Thank you,” Jeongguk mutters as he rearranges the pillow under his head, trying to make out Namjoon’s face in the blackness.

It doesn’t work.

His breathing is still erratic, heart beating like crazy. That ill feeling still heavy and persistent in his bones, impossible to shake off.

There’s rustling coming from the couch above him, but Jeongguk focuses on Namjoon’s breathing instead - deep and even and slow, tries to breathe in sync with him.

It helps, even intervals calming him down, lulling him to sleep. Exhaustion slowly tugs him under, deeper and deeper until all he can make out is faint noise in the background, soft fingers in his hair.

The line between dreams and reality is smudging, and he can feel himself drooling on the pillow, all cold and sticky.

“What was it about?” comes from somewhere far away, but so close at the same time.

He can’t open his eyes, just shrugs and rubs his cheek against the soft fabric, exhaling deep and loud.

“They’re usually about losing you,” he mutters, slowly embraced by nothingness.

Yet another Friday at a joint in Itaewon, some random place that Yongsun chose because she liked the vibe.

“What vibe,” Jeongguk mutters now, nose scrunched in annoyance as he looks around. Their tiny table is wobbly under the weight of too many beers, way too many people shoved into the ugly booth dressed in worn leather. There’s shouting all around them, their food still stuck in the kitchen, although it’s been more than an hour since they ordered.

He’s caught between a very drunk Wheein and an even drunker Taehyung, currently attempting to flirt right through him.

Reminds him of when they nearly fucked on Jimin’s bed once, months ago, just because they got a little too drunk and a little too horny.

Probably would have, if Hyejin weren’t there to drag Wheein home, leaving Taehyung a whining mess on the bed.

Hyejin, who’s currently sitting on the other side of the table completely unbothered, manicured nails tapping against the tabletop as she explains something to a rose cheeked Yoongi.

All of them so drunk, but Jeongguk just wants his food.

“Yah, that’s some - some good shit,” Taehyung says to his cheek, Wheein giggling from the other side. He squeezes his eyes closed, ignores their warm breaths on his skin. “Should show me sometime.”

He’s pretty sure they’re talking about an art project she did, but Taehyung’s tone suggests much nastier shit.

Nastier shit that Jeongguk doesn’t want to have anything to do with, so he excuses himself and climbs over Wheein’s lap to go on a search for the toilet.

The small restroom is dark, lit only by a rather green bulb right above one of the sinks. It colours Namjoon’s cheeks an odd purple, eyes glistening when he looks at Jeonggguk from where his hands are completely covered in soap.

“Hyung,” he mutters, surprised to find him there. “Thought you were outside.”

“Was,” Namjoon mutters, dimples dark and deep even in the weak light, his lips curved into a slight smile. “Left Hoseok-ah to his business.”

He’s not sure he wants to know, but, “What business?” still escapes his lips when he walks to the other sink and turns the tap.

Water is cold against his fingers, a bit too icy, but he barely notices when Namjoon’s cheeks are so pink in the reflection in the mirror.

“Daewon came,” Namjoon says and sighs. When he glances up, their eyes meet in the wide mirror. Jeongguk looks away, ears heating up for no particular reason. “She seemed better.”

“That’s good,” Jeongguk mutters, staring at his hands under the water. Paper towels rustle when Namjoon dries his hands, humming a melody under his breath.

When Jeongguk looks up he’s still there, leaning against the sink, staring at him. They both look away when their eyes meet, but Namjoon lets out a short giggle, incredibly loud in the quiet of the restroom.

Music is blasting from the outside, bass barely muted by the old wooden door. Jeongguk wishes to just stay there instead, in the calm and quiet of the four walls, just him and Namjoon and that comfort that always seems to be present.

Always so comfortable and nice, even when he finds Namjoon’s gaze a bit too intense sometimes, when his fingers get all jittery for no reason other than Namjoon saying something incredibly deep and embarrassing.

Real inspirational too, most of the time.

Uses big words to share his experiences with the rest of them, and Jeongguk finds himself mesmerised by how interesting it all is, how smart and thought through.

Wishes to be more like him, aspires to be a better person.

When he wipes his hands clean and bins the wet paper towels, Namjoon clears his throat. Their eyes meet over the dimly lit space, Namjoon’s glistening with something unusual.

“Have they stopped?” he asks. Jeongguk’s eyes widen, lips curving downwards in confusion.

“What?”

“The nightmares.”

The word echoes around the room, needs a while to sink in.

It hits him like a train once it does.

He blinks once. Twice. Stares at Namjoon who’s looking right back at him, smiles shyly after a couple of seconds too long, then looks to the ground.

He’s still staring when Namjoon rubs the back of his neck, slowly realising the silence is getting a little uncomfortable.

“What?” he repeats, feeling real dumb. Has no idea how Namjoon knows about his nightmares when he hasn’t told a living soul, when he keeps it all inside, bottled up until it occasionally explodes.

Explodes and causes him to get really drunk, dance until morning hours, get fucked until nothing matters anymore.

Explodes and breaks shit, because it’s easier to deal with the frustration and helplessness that way.

Explodes and cries into his pillow in the middle of the night, Jimin sleeping on the other side of the wall.

He hasn’t told anyone, because he can handle them. It’s not a big deal.

Not a big deal, but Namjoon still frowns and says, ���About me,” which causes Jeongguk to freeze on the spot, still staring at the smooth line of Namjoon’s neck.

He forces himself to look away.

Heartbeat is loud in his ears when he swallows, throat incredibly dry.

“I don’t have nightmares about you,” he says, fingers tangling into the hem of his shirt. He runs his fingertips over the seams, biting his lip until it starts bleeding, metallic taste spilling over his tongue.

Neither of them move, enveloped into an odd silence. Distant buzz of people chatting fills the space between them, but Jeongguk can only focus on Namjoon’s breathing.

“You - you told me that night,” Namjoon says eventually, and when Jeongguk looks up he’s playing with his fingers, staring down at them.

“What?” he says, feeling even dumber than before. He tries his hardest to come up with a better answer, but his brain is pulling a blank.

Can’t think of a single thing to say.

“You don’t remember?”

“I dunno.”

“At Byulyi-noona’s,” which hits something. Causes him to squint, eyebrows pulling together in confusion. Barely remembers it all, weeks ago by now.

“Back in April?” he asks as he rubs the back of his neck.

Namjoon jerks a nod, says, “You woke up in the middle of the night with a scream.” Pauses, shakes his head, and takes a deep breath. “Told me.. Said your nightmares were about me.”

Jeongguk’s throat feels tight, but he forces a laugh. Sounds all strained and fake, caught between four walls, between the two of them. Tastes real bitter, because this is Namjoon, someone he trusts the most and never lies to, but he laughs again and shakes his head.

“No, hyung. I was.. Probably still drunk, you know how it is,” he says. Namjoon’s eyes are on his for just a second before he looks away, pulls a funny face, then breaks into the tiniest of smiles.

Forced.

Jeongguk feels sick with the knowledge of it being fake. Not honest like they always are with each other, not genuine, because Namjoon knows he’s lying.

But Namjoon still nods at him, rubbing at his cheek.

“Yeah,” said softly, barely loud enough with the background noise. “Yeah, you’re right.”

Letting him get away with it, letting it go, because Jeongguk doesn’t want to talk about it.

It leaves something heavy in the pit of his stomach, tension hanging loud in the air between them. Jeongguk doesn’t dare to move, stares when Namjoon pockets his hands, looks at himself in the mirror, fixes a loose strand of hair.

He stares when Namjoon nods again, his reflection offering another forced smile. “I better go.”

“Yeah,” says Jeongguk this time, whispered into the empty space Namjoon leaves behind.

After the third drink Seokjin shoves into his hand, Jeongguk feels a bit wobbly.

The living room in Hoseok and Seokjin’s apartment is small and currently packed to the brim. Their small circle of friends expanded as soon as Taehyung dragged along some of the drama kids, which no one seems to mind.

Doesn’t mean the living room has gotten any bigger, resulting in too little space for the large crowd of people.

Jeongguk doesn’t like the bodies rubbing against him, the feeling of being trapped, so he finds himself wandering outside to get some fresh air, leaving the heat and the noise behind the glass door of the balcony.

Outside, Namjoon is leaning against the wall, slope of his nose shining in the moonlight. He looks at Jeongguk when the door slams shut, offering a small smile that causes his dimples to pop out.

Jeongguk smiles back, plops himself down between some potted plants, and glances at the city below.

“Getting a little crazy, isn’t it?” Namjoon asks, voice low and even. Soothing in comparison to the loud music inside, rather pleasant after the few drinks Jeongguk has had.

“Just. Too crowded?” He plays with his piercings, leans back until his head hits the wall. “I like the others, though.”

“Yeah, they’re nice.”

Leaf of one of the bigger plants brushes against Jeongguk’s cheek when he tilts his head to the side, making him giggle. He runs his fingers over the shiny green surface, a little magical in the darkness of the night.

“Cute,” he says, dropping his hand back into his lap, and closes his eyes.

“Yeah, you are.”

Namjoon is staring at him when their eyes meet, both quickly looking away. Jeongguk’s insides twist, cheeks heating up.

The giggle that escapes Namjoon’s lips colours his cheeks an even darker colour.

They sit in silence, their breaths along with the occasional breeze weak in contrast to the bass blasting through the wall. Tiles are cold against Jeongguk’s ass, colours on the street bright and colourful. They flicker from orange to pink to blue, then back again.

All so beautiful on Namjoon’s face, dancing on his shiny lips. He doesn’t realise he’s staring until Namjoon suddenly clears his throat, stands up, and disappears back into the apartment.

He comes back with a bottle of wine, cork already gone, and drinks straight from the bottle as Jeongguk watches.

He reaches for the bottle eventually, Namjoon easily giving in, unwrapping his long fingers from the neck so Jeongguk can take a swig.

Namjoon’s profile is shining blue now, the slope of his nose smooth and mesmerising.

“Hyung?” he mutters and gets a hum in reply. “Got a smoke?”

A pause, then, “It’s bad for you.”

Jeongguk shifts, pulls his legs closer until he can hug them, and rests his cheek against his knees. Says, “Yes or no?”

Something changes on Namjoon’s face when he turns his head to look at him again. Eyes getting softer at the corners, lips curving up, albeit just a little. The bottle gets pushed away, a pack thrown his way just a moment later.

Jeongguk struggles with opening it, fingers clumsy with alcohol in his veins. He eventually manages to get one in between his teeth, but fiddling with the lighter isn’t any easier.

It gets Namjoon to huff a laugh, shaking his head as he takes the lighter from his fingers to light the cigarette for him.

“Here,” he mutters, still staring when Jeongguk takes the first drag. Still staring when he blows it into the dark night, white smoke getting lost in the wind.

Namjoon’s adam’s apple bobs when he swallows, colours clinging to the sweat on his skin.

The air between them shifts, but Jeongguk can’t tell why. He feels the odd tension, forcing him to turn away with Namjoon’s intense stare still burning hot on his skin, setting his insides on fire. He looks to the sky, the round moon so bright, and takes another drag.

Smoke twirls around his nose, slowly disappearing into the night.

The burn at the back of his throat is familiar, pleasant. It reminds him of years ago, back when it used to be just him and Jimin and Namjoon, just the three of them and a broken bench behind the school building. Hidden away in the corner, covered in graffiti and used gum, but still their favourite.

Would always meet there after classes, share a half empty pack of smokes Jimin had stolen from his father, and waste their time.

An ugly habit that was, but one that tied them all together.

More of a ritual than an addiction, Namjoon had always said.

More of an excuse to meet daily, chill for hours when they were supposed to be doing their homework. Sitting there until it got dark outside, street lights slowly flickering on.

Talked of nothing in particular, all dumb talk. Even dumber boys, but Jeongguk still remembers how safe and loved it made him feel.

Oddly connected to it all now, smoking again. Still the same brand, even after all these years. It sticks to the roof of his mouth in that nasty way that he’s always loved, the taste strong on his tongue.

“Why these?” he asks, waving the pack around. Namjoon follows the movement, smiles a little. His eyes are half lidded and dark, all mysterious.

“The memory,” and Jeongguk gets it. Knows how it is, would probably still smoke if he weren’t a broke student.

Before he can properly think about it he raises his hand, offers the lit cigarette to Namjoon. It hangs in the space between them, their eyes locked, but none of them moving.

Then Namjoon is leaning closer, but he doesn’t take the cigarette from his fingers as Jeongguk expected him to, just wraps his lips around the butt and breathes in.

His lips are warm when they brush against Jeongguk’s fingers, sending a shiver down his spine. They start a fire in the pit of his stomach, burning bright and hot.

He swallows thickly, neither of them breaking eye contact.

Namjoon doesn’t move back, just releases the cigarette and blows the smoke through his nose. Then he licks his lips, eyes momentarily dropping from Jeongguk’s eyes.

“Guk,” he says, rough and raspy. Jeongguk just hums. “Tell me - tell me if I’m getting this wrong.”

Then he’s moving close and closer, into Jeongguk’s space. Craning his neck up, tilting his head, a hand coming to rest on Jeongguk’s thigh, heavy and burning to the touch.

When their lips brush, Jeongguk’s fingers lose the grip on the cigarette. His eyes fall shut, Namjoon’s lips warm and thick and gentle against his own.

It’s careful at first, but as soon as he takes a fist of Namjoon’s shirt there are fingers on his neck, climbing higher and higher until they’re buried in his hair. Tugging him closer, causing his lips to fall open, their tongues sliding together.

Neither of them notices the cigarette burning Namjoon’s jeans.

The sky is painted different colours. From blue to pink to yellow and orange, all mixing together on the skyline, sun a big ball of fire dancing on the horizon.

Jeongguk has a hard time looking at the setting sun when there’s Namjoon sitting next to him, their thighs pressed together.

“Guk-ah?”

“Yeah?”

“How about those nightmares?”

A lazy smile stretches over his lips when he turns to look at Namjoon, tracing the colours dancing on his face, deep pink high in his cheeks.

Their eyes meet, Namjoon’s wide smile matching his.

And the colours in his eyes so beautiful Jeongguk thinks he could look at them for the rest of his life.

He smiles, looks down to grab Namjoon’s hand, and says, “I have you now.”