#last time it was like? a few hours? domt remember actually

[pignoblade]

ahh hiding my blog again!!

[nerdgoggleson]

This is for all my people who have issues with people saying its not ok to take medication

I'm here to tell you that YES IT IS! Ok let me just SAY this. TAKING medication is not always bad. Yes. its it's amazing that all-natural supplements and home remedies at our disposal for people to rely on BUT honestly, EVERYONES BODY IS DIFFERENT and it reacts differently to medications, remedies and other supports. Not all of them work for everyone.

There are also some situations where you need a doctors prescription. Vipolar? Take your meds! Anxiety? Meds! Depression? Meds! ADHD, ADD, and autism? Same thing and so on and so forth.

Now, I personally HATE taking medications. I will suffer through a migraine that lasts a whole week before breaking down and taking excedrin. Currently, my anxiety is at an all-time low. I'm having weekly (sometimes several times a week) panic/anxiety attacks, I'm not sleeping or eating like I should, I'm overwhelmed, anxious, paranoid and depressed. Keep in mind I am doing this while having 2 little kids (2 year old and 4 month old) to look out for, a house to maintain, classes to take, studying to do plus a hubby to care for too. I also work a full time bartending job that pays $2.14/hr and I usually only make about $250/wk.

I know there are people who have it worse than me and I try to think of that as well but when you have a family to care for you want to be your very best. You have to care for yourself and them and so if I need more than yoga, meditation and bubble baths to keep my brain from overpowering my other senses than no one should tell me that I'm wrong for wanting that.

Everyone's brain works differently and when you have anxiety, things run in your mind over and over and over and over again and sometimes it's for mundane things like Not anything super important. Just normal things like your kids and what they need and want, child support and seeing other parents and family members, all your Bill's and omfg I'm negative in the bank again, my stupid gym membership I forgot I was enrolled in, child care and kids schools, lunches, after school programs, trying to find a new job, your folks who only seeing their grandkids when it conveniences them, never seeing your family members who calm you down because they are too far away or busy, trying to maintain a clean household, things I need to clean, holiday plans and lists and ideas, plans for new career path, the kids birthday parties that's only a few months away, that one couple who's getting married, saving money for a car, trying to actually save said money, trying to make sure your hubby or wife or bf gf will never leave you and that they're satisfied, cleansing the house, the renovations we need to do, spring cleaning.....all of this goes through my mind at LEAST 5X a day and especially at night. It's why my anxiety is high. I cant turn it off.

So when I go to sleep it runs on repeat like CALL ME MAYBE and jesus fuck getoutgetoutgetout so I write lists. I try and get it out and on paper and sometimes it works but the most of the time it doesnt so I just keep doing it to kinda get my mind at least straight and prioritized but when it doesnt....I have an attack. It can be big or small but it's there and when it hits it HITS and theres only so much you can do to calm yourself.

Taking medication can be temporary or permanent but the important thing to remember is that IT'S OK! If you need it, take it! If it helps, take it. Talk. Relax. Try new home remedies WITH IT! Just know: You're normal. Everything will be ok. Count to 13 and back again. Breathe. Drink some tea. Watch a movie and know that you domt have to do everything in one day. Also, take your medicine. If it turns your brain off for 8 hours to get you some sleep then guess what? You can get back to normal. It's not a personality changing medication. It wont affect your hormones or temperament in a bad way. It will shut your brain off long enough to sleep, to calm down, to enjoy your kid sleeping in your arms at 4am in the morning without you wanting to tip your own hair out. It's. Okay!

That is all.