#last time i missed an A in math by 1/2 marks and i don't want the same thing to happen this time 😔😔

[thats-cantorintuitive]

small update

ok so um I got my number theory paper today, and the TA had cut marks for me because i left the answer at 66^2 and not 4356 (fermat's little theorem) 😔 I even wrote the full proof

my friend told me I should mail the TA about this, I got 14/20 and should be getting 17or18/20 😔

scores aside, number theory is so much fun, so much fun. the only good thing here is that I know the concepts well, and I fully knew the paper (still fucked it up, because I'm so frickin slow while writing and time). and it hurts worse because there's not enough proof that validates my knowledge. which in turn makes me question if i actually do have any.

I am, in general, a person who does well in concepts but screws up the exams (70% of the time) and I'm trying, I'm trying to get myself out of this "exam paniK" that I often spiral into, just minutes before the exam. I hope I change and grow; I hope, I hope.

[soraarchives]

this is a rant. it's personal. now i feel so let down i am clinging to any sort of outlet to let go of shit.

i lost my grandma around 2 months ago. i had my final exams during that time. not only that i got to know she's no more on the very day when i had my maths 2 exam. i left for college by 10 am even when my exam was from 2 pm. i was supposed to make up for maths 1 paper in maths 2. i have been in an academic slump for a long while. i've just been pushing myself through and i ended up failing a few of my exams because of this. i had back papers along with my final sem exam and the schedule was too hectic. i had an exam each day for three consecutive days.

while my grandma passed away none of my cousins with whom i have really good relationships show up on any of the three fucking days of the rituals while it was also a weekend so they couldn't even make up job excuses. and after a few days when i was sad for losing a family member and having a shitty exam season one of my three cousins (we four are very close to each other in age) made an insensitive comment about me feeling low and negative.

these exams were important to me because based on this i could take up admissions in college for masters. i had a college which i desperately wanted to get into and i almost missed it's deadline because it clashed with the passing away of my grandma. i got lucky enough for it's deadline to be extended and had an interview around mid june and i got sick with gut infection on the exact same day which affected me being able to answer in the interview. it was too late by the time i figured out that something's wrong with my health. i just thought it's becuase i'm sleep deprived and i'll be fine,

so now i have not only not made it to my dream college but also failed my last semester. i had to come back to my hometown while i was away from it trying to have a reset. the margin of me failing my subjects wasn't much. i needed around 5-6 marks for physics and 3 marks for maths. i went to college today to fill out the re-evaluation forms and now when i'm back at home at 6 pm the college calls me to tell that i can give only one subject (or two papers in total) for rechecking and that they have already submitted my physics re-evaluation form so i'll have to cancel the maths one. which is so sad because me having maths re-evaluted was a greater chance at me passing it and not having to appear in the exams. studying for physics is way easier than reappearing for maths. and ifi don't pass in physics now i'll have to reappear for both maths and physics anyway.

while i was in another city i kept telling my family i'm just going through a tough period where nothing is working out for me. people who cheated in exams and were caught passed them while otherwise you have zero chances of it. and i though to myself it couldn't get any worse than this as a reminder to take it easy in life. now it just feels like life is so bitchy

[star-mum]

Good morning lovelies :3

ROSITA KNIFE KINK FIIIIIC !!!!!

"Leave a mark on you that can't be so easily erased" sunny I swear to god if she's not carving her name on my skin im gonna be really sad

doing my usual deal with Sunny where I put my trust in her completely and just ignore all the content warnings (no one got me like she's got me)

"That was one thing she never missed - money. Yeah. Fuck that" starting with an anticapitalist message, very nice, very good :3

"You pointed a gun in Abraham’s face the moment that he approached Glenn’s prone body" LOOOOOOOVE HER ! yes she will step up to this mountain of a man who's very heavily armed

"you were only into women" LESBIAN READEEEERRRRRRR !!!! YEEEAAAAHHHH

"Nights when being so close to you had been for survival - but it had also been a privilege" WOOOOOOOOOWWWWW

"When I first met you, I thought you were the last damn woman on earth" maybe Im too sensitive but this is still the most fucked thing to say to someone, idc how casual shit was between them THAT IS FUCKED UP

"And I know you thought the same about me" i mean... Eugene was there and she still picked you (it's not Much but it is Something)

"And I know that you have too.” HAH ! Gay ass

"I’m gonna have to be the one to get the starch of your pants and kick you squarely in the ass" well that's a sentence, i think (he just Says Words sksksks)

"God's Dirty Little Loophole" 👁️👄👁️ the what now, ma'am? "and you don't need to open them to get behind" WHAAAAAAAT (what kinda conversations were you having with your parents sksksksk)

"she grabbed both sides of your head and firmly planted her lips on yours" :O

"Eugene shouted, shuffling up the street" SIR SKSKSKSKS

"imagine that blade pressed up against your skin" let's absolutely fucking go, gays

"No. What are you doing here?” 🥺 oh

"He got inside her head once again. And this time, not for the better" we can't all be winners but for fucks sake man! that's MY ass that's grass now

"It’s an electrolyte drink mix" PINK GATORADE BABY !!! THE BEST FLAVOUR THERE IS

"She swore sharply under her breath in Spanish" I appreciate the vagueness instead of google translating something

"Not all of us are princesses" well not with that fucking attitude you can't, you dick

"thankful for Eugene and his big mouth" oh yeah hi Eugene ! 👋 (i always keep forgetting you're still here)

"You didn’t know that it was Rosita’s sniper rifle" 😌 hihi

"There was another way to get this done" bite him so it looks like a walker related incident

"All of your danger alarms were screaming and you had no clue what to do" OKAY ! Star's self defense guide (i am not an instructor but I am an over-thinker)

1. never give up the element of surprise: don't give him time to reach for the gun, tackle him to the ground (it doesn't matter if he weighs more than you, use your momentum, swipe one of his legs to get him off balance, just do it, push him towards the basket on the floor so he falls on his back)

2. KNEE HIM IN THE NUTS AT THE FIRST OPPORTUNITY !!!!! IDK WHY PEOPLE NEVER SAY THIS IN SELF DEFENSE CLASSES !!! KICK HIM WHILE HE'S DOWN !!! FIGHT DIRTY !!! IT'S YOU AND WHATEVER GOD YOU BELIEVE IN (AND HE'S NOT GONNA HELP YOU NOW)

okay class is over, that's all I got

POKE HIM IN THE EYES !!!!! DONT HESITATE !!! (sorry class is back on for a second, just remembered this)

"rearing up against him as though she were ten feet tall" when walking home at night after class I always do the math in my head of "could i take this guy if tries something?" whenever I see a man walking down in my direction (as a last resort only cause I will find the easiest way to get as far away as possible) and it's almost always a yes, based only on the fact that I want to win/live more than he does

"You heard me, bendejo. Pick. It. Up" it's pendejo by the way !

"fuck my wife in my bed" ngl I'd still give her shit for the housewife thing after this (cause I'm an asshole)

"Why the fuck were you talking to him?” THIS IS *MY* FAULT ???? IF YOU HADN'T DITCH ME TO GO BE EDGY SOMEWHERE THIS WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED !!!

"that defiant thing rose up inside of you again" manda ela ir se fuder também, FODASE

"flipping out the blade and causing it to glint in the light" we are so close to Rosita carving her intials onto the Reader ☺️

"You crazy slut" MAYBE SO...!

"She grabbed the meat of your inner thigh with her left hand" YEAH ???? IT'S TIME ????

"very clear sight of her initials now carved into your thigh" YEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS !!!!!!!

"She took the time to bandage your leg nicely before the two of you went to sleep" 😌

LOOOOOOOVEED THIS ONE !!!!

Baby Said

Dom!Rosita Espinosa x Sub!Fem!Reader

aka the Rosita Knife Kink fic

Tell me now - what’s that look on your face?

She puts her hand on my lips, begging - ‘please, end this conversation.’

Baby Said: ‘Let me taste your silhouette. You can talk between my legs.’ 

I know you really want to. 

Summary:

When you first met Rosita, you thought your attraction to her was hopeless and fated to die quietly inside of you. But it turns out - she felt the exact same way about you.

Though she doesn't quite know how to deal with her attraction to you or the new relationship that it blossoms into. She's only dated men in the past, and she never felt this way about any of them. She has never been this insanely in love before. Tempted to run away from her feelings, silently pulling away from you, she is shaken back to reality when she finds Spencer brazenly flirting with you one night.

There is only one obvious solution in her mind: claim you. Make sure the world knows that you're hers. Leave a mark on you that can't be so easily erased. (Not that you would want to.)

Dom!Rosita Espinosa x Sub!Fem!Reader. Strangers to Lovers. Smut. Set during Season 6.

Word Count: 15,100

The Walking Dead Masterlist | AO3 Link

Detailed warnings and author's notes below.

Warnings: the reader character goes by she/her pronouns and has a vagina and breasts; there is no major descriptors of the reader’s race, age, or looks in general (though when I was writing this, I did have in mind that the reader is around the same age as Rosita, Glenn, Maggie, and Tara - so she would be in her early to mid twenties, but that is not a hard fact); this fic DOES use Y/N; even though most of my reader characters are bisexual, the reader is explicitly a lesbian in this fic; Rosita speaks Spanish and it is not explicitly mentioned if the reader speaks Spanish as well and understands these words or not; this fic is about Rosita discovering her sexuality after the apocalypse - it could be implied that she is bisexual, but I wanted this fic to be about her discovering her true sexuality through loving the reader (so Rosita could be a lesbian or demisexual) - but she sex she had with men in the past was not traumatic, just not particularly exciting; mentions of Rosita x Abraham, including mentions of Abraham and Rosita having sex; Abraham and Rosita do break-up before Rosita and reader get together so there is no cheating; very background mentions of Sasha x Abraham (but in this version, Rosita is not at all upset about it or upset about the break-up because she’s in love with the reader); the reader calls Rosita ‘Ro’ or ‘Ro-Ro’ and she’s the only one who is allowed to use this nickname for her; this fic is set during Season 6, but there is no mention of Negan (I wanted to set this during the ambiguous time skip after the mass of Walkers is taken out in episode 8 - but I did mention Deana and Noah being alive - fucking details); mentions of common Walking Dead themes - death, Walkers, killing Walkers (and people) to survive, gun violence, etc.; lots of Spencer Monroe bashing (I fucking hate him!!!!) - mentions of Spencer having a one-sided attraction toward Rosita and toward the reader (attractions that are definitely not returned), mentions of Spencer ‘flirting’ with Rosita in a way that borders on harassment, implications that Spencer is homophobic/lesphobic and that he has a gross stereotypical fantasy of having a threesome with two women just because those women are in a relationship; the reader works as a school teacher in Alexandria (mainly teaching the teenagers); there is a scene of Spencer harassing the reader in a way that she finds scary and intimidating, (at one point, the reader even fears for her life in Spencer’s presence), but Rosita swoops in to save her.

This is a smut fic; there is sub/dom dynamics - Rosita is the dominant one (she is more of a mean dom) and the reader is submissive (the reader is somewhat of a brat at first); the main kink here is knife kink - the reader gets turned on watching Rosita use a knife while teaching a self defense class for the inexperienced Alexandrians and Rosita uses this to her advantage later; Rosita cuts off the reader’s clothes, and gives the reader a few small cuts with the knife (not major or painful) and teases her with it, and this ultimately culminates in Rosita carving her initials into the reader’s thigh - this is described as painful, but it is a pleasurable pain; general pain kink; Rosita slaps the reader (and she likes it); the reader is stripped naked and Rosita remains clothed; choking kink - not to an extreme and there is no major breathplay, but Rosita does take a hold of the reader’s throat and squeeze for a short period of time; thigh riding - Rosita grinds her knee and thigh between the reader’s legs; sweat kink - the reader fantasies about licking sweat off Rosita; blood kink - the reader is turned on by (remembered) visuals of Rosita covered in blood, and Rosita licks up the reader’s blood after cutting her with the knife; dumbification kink - Rosita calls the reader stupid (and she likes it); degradation kink - Rosita calls the reader ‘whore’ (in both Spanish and English, yay multiculturalism!!) and ‘stupid slut’ and ‘babydoll’ and ‘fuckhole’; discussion of housewife kink and kinks around ‘gender roles’ (in which Rosita is framed as the ‘man’ and the protector and the reader is framed as the more submissive ‘wife’) (though the reader is very competent in protecting herself, and it’s something Rosita is attracted to when they first meet); discussion of the reader being kept in a cage (that does not actually happen during the fic); oral sex - reader receiving; fingering - reader receiving. And I think that’s finally it for this fic.

A/N: I am soo excited to post this fic because it's my first ever fic for Rosita and I have been wanting to write for her for sooo long. I actually intended for this fic to be 'simple' and to be like 3k, but I am actually so happy that my first fic for her turned out to be like 15k and is actually really complex - she deserves it. I hope you guys enjoy it!! I love her so much and I hope that I did her justice.

...

Rosita knew that for most people, there was a Before and an After. 

Before - back when the world was ‘normal’. When the world was ‘good’. When society was ‘functioning’. In her mind, that was all bullshit. People had been starving and living on the streets before too. Society had never been fully functional. 

After - the now. When the dead walked the earth, after the society that everyone knew, the life that most people had been comfortable with had crumbled away. When, in most people’s minds, everything ‘good’ had died and gone. 

But Rosita had a lot of trouble thinking of it that way. 

She was one of those people who - in a lot of ways - struggled to survive in the Old World. She had to find creative ways to make ends meet and money was always tight. 

(That was one thing she never missed - money. Yeah. Fuck that.) 

A lot of those ways involved getting dolled up and schmoozing for tips from men who were twice her age, working late nights at sleazy bars, and once she learned that it paid better, straight up scamming guys out of their ‘hard earned’ cash. Morality was never one of her strong suits, but beauty was. And guys always think that a pretty face is a truthful one. 

When the world fell apart, she saw no sense in falling with it. It was just another hard time that she would learn to live through. 

Abraham came along with his big truck and his even bigger ambitions, talking about saving the whole damn world like it was his god given right. At the time, Rosita wasn’t sure there was much left to save, but he and Eugene were two more men who liked her for her pretty face and she liked their big truck and their guns - she liked her chances of survival with them. And she was always willing to join forces with someone who had something to teach her. 

So she embarked on a mission that she didn’t have much emotional stake in. Not at first. 

The first time she had sex with Abraham, she knew it wasn’t love. But, as far as she was concerned, love was a myth anyway. She was bored and he was warm, and that was all she really needed to know. 

She was alive. She had some sense of purpose. Her life didn’t feel much different than it had before. In fact, it was better - without the dread of debt or bills hanging over her head. Even if that had been switched out for the literal dead hanging over her head every now and then. 

… 

Life was once so perfectly clear and simple to Rosita - and then she met you. 

Abraham, Rosita, and Eugene found you on the side of a hot, desolate Georgia road, tears in your eyes as you desperately stripped the riot gear off (who they later knew to be) Glenn. You had been trying to assess his condition after he had collapsed while fighting Walkers - his body clearly still weak from the flu that had almost killed him at the prison. Tara stepped up to protect the both of you, using the butt of Glenn’s heavy artillery to smash in the rotting heads before she posed to the three strangers that she ‘hoped they enjoyed the show’. 

You pointed a gun in Abraham’s face the moment that he approached Glenn’s prone body. It was something Rosita immediately liked about you - you were fiery, unafraid, and protective. You didn’t even flinch at a man so much larger than you - looked him in the eye and threatened him with a fierce tongue. It was why Rosita chose to approach you, chose to be the one to barter peace and hammer home the logic that you and your friends would never survive on the road alone. That Abraham and his big truck were truly the best option for you. 

She later found herself surprised that Glenn was on such a determined quest to find his wife. With the way you fussed over him, dabbing a wet cloth on his forehead after you finally let Abraham hoist him into the truck, checking his pulse every few minutes, making sure he was draped in shade and comfortable. Rosita thought for certain that the two of you were together. 

You laughed so hard when she told you this a few days later that you almost snorted up one of the beans that you had been eating for dinner, choking and sputtering on your food as Glenn and Tara gave Rosita a strange look. After you came down from your fit of laughter and regained your breath, you told Rosita that Glenn certainly wasn’t your type - you were only into women. 

You and Glenn had an intense closeness because he had saved your life, more than once, and you valued him intensely as a friend. You quickly added that you loved Maggie just as much as a dear friend, and hoped that she was alive out there somewhere. You hoped that his search would be fruitful. You saw nothing but comedy in the idea that you might be romantic with him. 

Rosita had no idea why she became so utterly fixated on this. 

It wasn’t like she had never met a lesbian before. She had worked at gay bars, she had plenty of gay friends. When she worked as a bartender, Drag Nights were one of her favourite events to work at. She wasn’t just fine with queer people - she embraced them. 

Tara was a lesbian too, and she didn’t find herself laying awake at night thinking about Tara’s laugh and wondering what Tara thought of her. Wondering what Tara’s hair smelled like, wondering if Tara’s skin was soft. Wondering if Tara was warm enough and wondering if she had eaten enough that day. Sure, she grew to love Tara as a friend during those days on the road together, but you were the one who was always on her mind. You were the one she couldn’t stop thinking about. 

Even more than the goal of protecting Eugene and saving the world. And increasingly, even more than Abraham. 

Even during times when Abraham would loosen his leash on Eugene just enough to insist that they sneak off somewhere to go have sex - Abraham would be inside of her and she would still be thinking about you. She would be grinning at him, kissing his neck, secretly terrified that you would overhear Abraham’s heated grunts about how much he loved her tits and that you would think less of her for it. 

She could never get you off her mind. 

There was just something about you. 

Your laugh was melodic, your skin seemed to shine under the bright Georgia sun. Even though your hair was messy and hadn’t been properly attended to in days, you looked gorgeous. You were so gorgeous. You always managed to make Rosita smile with bits of your well-timed humor, and every bit of conversation she had with you was mentally engaging - more so than she ever had since society had dissolved. Hell, probably since long before that. 

She found herself drawn to you in ways she had never been drawn to any other person in her life. 

And she found herself oddly disappointed when the group found a real home at Alexandria - not because she didn’t like it there. But because after a few days of probationary caution from Rick, the group dispersed. She and Abraham (and Eugene, like a damn child, unsure where else to go) - started living in their own place. You started living with Maggie and Glenn. 

And like clockwork, she saw you a lot less often. She worked her job keeping watch over the walls and teaching the Alexandria residents how to fight and defend themselves, and you took up a job teaching the few children that lived in the town as a school teacher - and the two of you crossed paths less and less often. Your lives became less entwined. 

And stupidly, Rosita found herself yearning for the days when the two of you slept on the train tracks with your backs pressed together - quiet nights when she could fall asleep to the thumping of your heartbeat and the sounds of crickets in the bushes. Nights when being so close to you had been for survival - but it had also been a privilege. 

… 

Rosita was puzzled when she walked into the bedroom one night to find Abraham packing - seemingly clearing out all of the drawers where his things were kept. 

It was something that instantly put a knot in her gut, though she tried her best to ignore it. She tried to tell herself that this didn’t mean anything bad. 

“Packing your stilettos?” She asked casually, posing it as a joke, hoping that he wouldn’t notice the way her voice shook. “We’ll only be gone a night.” 

She was referring to a run that was happening soon - one that he would need a much smaller, lighter bag for. 

“I’m goin’.” He replied gruffly, refusing to look up at her as he continued stuffing things into his large duffle bag. 

That bad, twisted feeling in her gut continued to brew, and she continued to try and ignore it. She tried to stay steady. 

“I am too.” She replied, that shake in her voice now more determined to break through. “But - tomorrow.” 

She hoped that he would reply in order to say that he was just overpacking out of paranoia. That his PTSD was acting up again. But instead, he said something that caused her stomach to truly twist up horribly as acid splashed at the back of her throat. 

“I’m leavin’.” He declared firmly, finally zipping up the bag and hoisting it over his shoulder. 

He finally looked at her, finally surrendering. The scared, small look in his eyes - one that she did not recognize from him - finally clued her into what was truly going on. 

He was leaving her. He was leaving the house and not coming back. He was leaving the relationship. 

Though a small part of her was terrified at the prospect of being alone, something that hadn’t happened in her life in a very long time, she found herself more scared at the realization that: this wasn’t all too upsetting. This wasn’t nearly as upsetting as it should have been for her. 

She had found herself drifting away from Abraham for a while. She had never been all too attached to him in the first place. She loved him in a sense, of course. But likely in the same way that she loved Glenn and Maggie and Tara and Eugene. She loved him as someone she couldn’t lose because they had been through too much together. 

She knew that she had never loved him as some deep, affectionate romance. 

But still, part of her screamed to hold onto him. He was an anchor, he was real. They had been through so much together. They had been a pair for so long. It was difficult to imagine sharing a bed with someone other than him. 

“Why?” Rosita whispered, almost afraid to bring the question to life in the air. 

“It happens.” Abraham grunted back - short, unwilling to truly explain. 

This only made her bubble with anger. 

‘No.’ She thought bitterly. ‘Tell me fucking why. Explain it to me if you’re going to leave me alone.’ 

“Are you serious?” She whispered sharply, more so to herself, angry that he refused to even engage in the conversation - that he was just fleeing without even an explanation. 

“This is how I want it.” He added, still refusing to truly engage with her at all. 

So now was the time Abraham Ford was choosing to be a man of few words. For hours she had been forced to sit in that stupid fucking truck, listening to him yammer on, listening to his weird metaphors and his winding war stories. And now he was choosing to clam up. 

“Why?” She demanded once again, raising her voice louder, trying to force an answer out of him. 

“Why are dingleberries brown?” He snapped, raising his voice louder than hers, trying to scare her away from the conversation. “It’s just the way shit is!” 

He then moved to leave the room, and she stepped in front of him, blocking his path to the door as she began to scream in his face, demanding answers out of him. 

“No, no!” She screamed. “After everything we’ve been through, you are not walking out that door unless you can tell me why! Tell me why!” 

She smacked her hands against his chest, trying to force his attention toward her as he stared down the hallway at the front door with intense, militant concentration. Of course. Focus on the mission. Fucking asshole. 

Abraham stopped with a huff, grabbing her arms - not with any real force, just to keep her from annoyingly swatting at him as he finally looked down at her, finally ready to give her the answer she so desperately sought. 

“When I first met you, I thought you were the last damn woman on earth.” He declared, firm and unapologetic. 

A wave of shock went through her, and she went limp under his touch. 

Her eyes went wide in a quick moment, they both knew that the other was thinking the exact same thing. It was the truth. The relationship had never been one of fondness or ‘love’ - it had never been one like Maggie and Glenn’s. Their relationship had been one of convenience. One to provide warmth against the coldness of the world. A good fuck to remind you that you’re not dead when there’s so much death around you, right in front of your face. 

Before Rosita could speak up, something in her gut telling her to defend herself - her brain screaming to deny the truth, Abraham continued on. 

“And I know you thought the same about me.” 

He said, finally letting go of the tense hold he had on her wrists - in that moment, both physically and emotionally releasing her. Unconsciously telling her that it was okay for her not to be in love with him. It was okay for her not to be hurt over the end of the relationship. 

He wasn’t expecting to be chased. 

“And well, I’ve learned to be okay with that. You’re a damn fine woman and I was lucky to have even five minutes with you.” 

“Abraham-” She breathed out, unsure where her words were even going. 

“But I’ve found someone else.” He declared, charging right past anything she had to say. “And I know that you have too.” 

“What?” Rosita gasped, entirely shocked by these words. 

She wasn’t entirely shocked by the revelation that Abraham was finally leaving her because of another woman. She had seen him hanging around with Sasha with increasing frequency. She had seen how close they had grown since the church. And she knew that he was too self upstanding to start fucking Sasha behind her back. Of all things, Abraham was not a cheater. 

It was the latter half of what he said that really threw her off.

He thought that she had someone else waiting in the wings? Did he believe that Spencer’s stupid one-sided flirting actually meant something to her? He had to know that she absolutely despised the guy, and that she would never pursue a relationship with someone as soft and stupid as Spencer.  

“What the hell are you talking about?” She gaped. “Do you think I’ve been cheating on you?” 

“No,” He shook his head, as if insulted by the idea. “Dammit - I was hopin’ to make this whole thing easy on you. To make this easier on the both of us so that you’d stop bein’ so damn stupid and just stop lyin’ to yourself. But I guess I’m gonna have to be the one to get the starch of your pants and kick you squarely in the ass, huh?” 

He had never before called Rosita stupid. She stood there, gaped with shock for a moment before she gathered the only words that she could. 

“Abraham, what are you talking about?” She asked firmly, now well and truly confused. 

He was leaving because he wanted to be with someone else. What the hell did that have to do with her being ‘stupid’? 

The small grin that graced his lips was the same one he usually held right after he smashed a Walker’s head open, or right after he ripped a particularly nasty fart that polluted the truck in a way that made him laugh when nobody else did. 

“Oh come on, darlin’.” He chuckled. “The way you’ve been eyein’ her up - you make it pretty obvious.” 

Her? 

Abraham wasn’t talking about a guy? 

When Rosita stood in dubious silence, Abraham was forced to clue her in. 

“Y/N.” He said. 

The name hitting the air was like a slap in the face for Rosita. 

He was leaving for Sasha, and he - he expected her to go after you? 

No. 

“Abraham, I’m not - I like guys.” Rosita sputtered out, eager to cover up the odd feeling rising in her throat, the feeling that something was wrong. The sense that she had been caught somehow. “I’ve been having sex with you. What - you think I’m gay all of a sudden?” 

“I think you spend a hell of a lot more time lookin’ at that woman’s tits than you ever look at me.” He shrugged in return. “And hell, I can’t blame you. She is one fine-” 

“Aye. Stop it.” She hissed sharply, kissing the inside of her teeth while she gave him a glare. 

“Alright, I get it. You don’t want me talkin’ about your girl that way.” 

“She is not my-” She let out a harsh sigh, cutting herself off while Abraham let out a chuckle. 

You would never want her. 

But that thought also struck her in the gut harsher than a blade piercing through her skin. The idea that she had been hiding here, cowering in an unhappy relationship with Abraham, hiding from her feelings for you. Hiding from someone she truly wanted to be with because she believed that you would never want her back. 

Maybe it didn’t matter if she was gay or straight or whatever. Maybe it mattered most that she was terrified of being rejected. Especially if it was being rejected by you. 

There was a pitting silence, in which Abraham stared her down with a knowing look while she turned all this over in her mind, and she hated just how smug he was. 

“Shut up.” She spat at him, though he hadn’t said anything, simply wanting to dull volumes that his smugness was hurling at her. 

Rosita was now swimming in a terrible mix of feelings - annoyance that Abraham was right, insecurity (something she so rarely felt), fear, anxiety, dread. Those confusing feelings for you bubbling toward the surface. Something she had brushed off before as friendly fondness that she was quickly learning to call affection - romantic affection. 

She became even more annoyed when Abraham let out a bright, bellowing laugh, now fully smiling at her. She resisted the urge to smack him, now wanting to blow off some steam by getting into a physical fight. She knew he wouldn’t have taken the bait anyway. 

“Fine.” He sighed, still smiling. “You don’t have to believe me. But hell, if a monkey puts on a three-piece suit and believes it’s a man, it’s still a damn monkey.” 

She wanted to point out how she hated being compared to a monkey, but she ground her teeth - because he was right. She hated it when he was right. 

“Rosita - I love you. I would still die for you or kill for you. Nothing’s gonna change that. But we both know it’s not the same anymore.” He continued on, becoming oddly soft for a moment, making her flex with a small smile now. “And I can’t sit around here waitin’ for it to be the way it was. Hell - I don’t think I want it to be the way it was. I like the way it is now.” 

“When did you get all shiny and whole?” She asked, silently knowing that this was the touch of ‘love’ on him - the glimmer of a woman who had made him feel whole in a way that she never could. She found herself oddly okay with that. She enjoyed it, in fact. She was happy for him. 

“I started goin’ to church.” He shrugged, throwing out one last bad joke. 

Rosita nodded, smiling at him, calmly accepting the truth - he was happier now. At least one of them was. 

She just wasn’t sure if she was ready to find her happiness. It was a terrifying prospect - approaching you. Exposing herself to you when she might get rejected. The idea that even if you said yes, even if you felt the same way - she would be embarking on a relationship like one she had never experienced before. She would have something so damn precious to lose. 

Abraham turned and began to walk toward the door again, and Rosita reflexively called after him. 

“Abraham?” He stopped and looked over his shoulder at her. “Do you think-?” 

She choked on her own words, too intimidated to even ask - but of course, he already knew the unspoken question that she was trying to voice. 

‘Do you really think that me and Y/N are supposed to be together?’ 

“I think anybody would be damn lucky to have you.” He said, giving her another strangely warm, genuine smile. “And I know that she spent a hell of a lotta time with her eyes focused on your ass when you weren’t payin’ attention. So I’m pretty sure all you gotta do is go get ‘er.” 

Abraham finally took off then, and as the front door shut behind him, Rosita collapsed onto the edge of the bed. 

This was the first time in so long that she had been truly afraid. 

Terrified that you were so close, yet so far away. Terrified of the idea that she could waltz right up to you and - tell you what? That she was in love with you? (That didn’t sound like a lie. In fact, the longer she sat with it, repeating it in her mind, the more it sounded like the truth. The more it felt like it.) The idea that she could ruin her friendship with you in one single second. 

That almost sounded worse than death. 

Losing you - having you upset with her and not wanting to be around her - that would be a living hell. 

And those words kept ringing through her head. 

‘All you gotta do is go get ‘er.’ 

Fuck - she hated it when Abraham was right. 

Forcing herself up with a burst of anger - anger toward Abraham that he had known about this for so long and failed to tell her, that he waited this fucking long - she rushed toward the front door, only to be stopped with Eugene’s hand on her elbow. 

“Hey, I thought you said we were gonna watch Star Wars later. I was only able to locate a DVD copy of A New Hope, which I find to be inferior to-” 

“Eugene,” She sighed harshly. “When a woman says ‘later’, what she really means is ‘fuck off’.” 

He gaped with shock, enough to let her go, and then he began shouting complaints at her. But she didn’t hear or care to hear what he said as she slammed the door in his face, and began swiftly walking (not running, telling herself not to look too stupidly eager) down the street toward Glenn and Maggie’s house. 

She had to find you. 

The three of you were sitting on the porch, laughing brightly, chatting about something. You and Glenn each had a beer in hand and Maggie was cradling a mug full of something, and she had Glenn’s hoodie draped around her shoulders - it was a very cozy, friendly scene. For a moment, Rosita almost backed off. She almost lost her nerve. 

“My Mama used to call it God's Dirty Little Loophole,” Maggie laughed brightly, adding onto whatever conversation the three of you were having. “You're supposed to keep your knees closed before marriage and you don't need to open them to get behind,” 

“Yeah it's some kind of dirty hole,” Glenn snarked in response, earning him a light smack and an eye roll from Maggie. 

But then - you noticed Rosita, standing in the middle of the dark street. A bright smile broke across your face. And her insides lit up as she remembered in an instant why she was there. She became flared with annoyance once again as she remembered that Abraham was right about the whole thing. 

“Ro-Ro!” You chimed, drawing the attention of the other two toward her. This was a playful nickname for Rosita that you had started using while on the road - one she pretended to hate that she only ever let you get away with. “I actually want you to weigh in on this - if you do anal the first time you have sex, does it count as losing your virginity?” 

Of course. You were cheerfully talking about something nonsensical and delightfully distracting. 

But in that moment, all she could think about was your lips. The way you so sweetly and delicately wrapped around the words, making something so crude seem so perfect. 

She knew that she looked like a mindless Walker, drifting up the porch without a word, not even responding to your question - but she couldn’t deny her magnetism toward you any longer. And she didn’t even care that Glenn and Maggie were watching when she grabbed both sides of your head and firmly planted her lips on yours. 

You immediately went slack under her touch, almost dropping your beer as you melted into the kiss, gently moaning into her mouth - both of you feeling the intense heat and pure chemistry that you had both been trying to deny for so long. A feeling that had been building up between the two of you since the moment you had met. 

(With her back turned to them, Rosita didn’t see the excited, knowing look that the couple gave each other, even exchanging a soft high five as the two of you continued to share that kiss.) 

Rosita pulled away from the kiss after a long, perfect moment - and while you looked at her with a dizzy, vacant expression, your whole body tingling, wondering if you were dreaming, she grabbed the beer from your hands and took a long swig. And then she propped herself beside you against the porch railing, turning to face Glenn and Maggie, who were both beaming with smiles. 

“Personally, I think the concept of virginity is bullshit.” She said, choosing to answer your earlier question instead of acknowledging the fact that she had kissed you. “Why should anybody let a man’s dick define them? It’s completely barbaric-” 

“What’s barbaric is storming out on a man in the middle of a conversation!” Eugene shouted, shuffling up the street in a pair of flip-flops, his flannel pj pants, and his obnoxious ‘Virginia Is For Lovers’ tee shirt.

Rosita rolled her eyes. 

“I am not watching Star Wars with you!” She shouted at him, her words echoing down the near empty street.  

“Wait - you have Star Wars?” Glenn asked eagerly, turning to the mullet-headed man for confirmation. 

“Yes.” Eugene replied. “But some people don’t appreciate the finer points of well-made science fiction.” He eyed Rosita heavily when he said this, and she flipped him a middle finger in response. 

Glenn and Maggie exchanged a look, Glenn clearly asking for permission to go and watch the movie, to which Maggie nodded. Glenn grinned widely and kissed Maggie on the forehead before he eagerly fled off the porch. He and Eugene walked away talking excitedly about the film and then, surprisingly, Maggie stood up from her chair. 

“I think I’m gonna head to bed early.” She said, giving an exaggerated yawn - and then she tossed a wink in your direction. “Goodnight, y’all.” 

“Night, Mags.” 

“Goodnight.” 

You and Rosita both bid her goodnight - and then, after the front door to the house closed behind her, the two of you were completely alone. 

“So - you’re not into letting a man define your life?” You posed, snatching the beer back and downing the last of it. 

“Not anymore.” She replied, giving you a grin. 

She then grabbed you by the back of the neck and kissed you firmly once again. 

That was the day she realized it. There was a Before and an After. 

The time in her life Before you, and then - the time After you. 

The time before her world was whole, and after it became whole. 

… 

Your relationship with Rosita was nothing short of electric. 

The first time the two of you had sex was shortly after that first kiss (a matter of hours, actually) - and you had never cum harder than having her between your thighs, pinning you to the bed that Abraham had once slept in while she ate you with a newly discovered passion that had you screaming. (Initially, the two of you had attempted to be discreet, but Glenn and Eugene’s movie marathon certainly didn’t last long after that.) 

You knew that the people around town were likely sick of the two of you. Annoyed by the fact that you two were constantly staring at each other, so sickly in love that you couldn’t resist grabbing and groping each other in public, a simple peck of a kiss often turning into something sloppy in front of your friends when you never meant it to. 

There was just something so intoxicating about the relationship - likely because the two of you had been trying to hold back your feelings, stuffing down the attraction for so long. And now that you got to experience those feelings so freely, now that you got to be with the person that you had wanted so badly for so long - you couldn’t help but to enjoy it. 

You couldn’t help but to enjoy something so good in a world that didn’t seem to have a lot of good in it these days. 

That was why you took any opportunity that you could during the day to visit Rosita. 

Yes, the two of you lived together now, so you saw her a lot more often. You had moved in with her and Euegene after Abraham had moved out, prompting many jokes from your friends about ‘shacking up’ - both to your face and behind your back. This meant that you saw her almost every single morning (if she didn’t get an early start before you did, or if her job didn’t call for her to pull some overnight duty). And you saw her most nights before you fell asleep, but you still felt like you didn’t get enough of her. Even the domestic bliss wasn’t enough to fulfill you when you were so damn lovesick. 

So late one afternoon, after you had dismissed your class, you walked across town to see Rosita. You would deny until your last breath that you semi-regularly dismissed your class early for this specific reason, especially considering that your class was made up of a whopping four kids and they all definitely got more than enough one on one time with you to be well educated. 

You knew that she was holding a self defense class for the under-trained, more sheltered Alexandrians in an open field out by the solar panels. If anybody asked, you had released your class early because the kids deserved to enjoy the nice weather and not because you had an alternate agenda. 

“You’re going to need to carry a knife on your person at all times,” 

She spoke with perfect authority, her voice filling the air in a way that sent chills down your spine. You couldn’t help but to admire her quiet dominance - the natural confidence that she always had when she pressed herself on top of you. You couldn’t help but to imagine that firm, smooth voice next to your ear, giving you instructions about how you were going to behave for her while she took you apart and made you quiver. 

“A well sharpened knife could always mean the difference between life and death against a Walker or a person that wants to hurt you,” 

You loved watching her work. 

She used her own switchblade as an example as she showed the others proper technique - and you couldn’t help but to admire her, a certain kind of deadly heat growing in your stomach as you watched her strong, toned arm wield the blade with confidence, slashing into the air against an imaginary enemy as she continued to spout confident instructions to her class. 

Her sleeveless shirt made it easier for you to enjoy the sight of her bronze skin in the bright sun, enjoying the sight of the sheen of sweat that gathered there. You couldn’t help but to imagine tonguing across her bicep in order to lick up that sweat, worshipping her in the filthiest ways to honor her strength, to show her what a great protector she was. 

Both of you knew that you were more than capable of protecting yourself. But there was a certain thrill whenever she stepped between you and danger. Whenever she stepped up as your protector. One that you felt now as you were reminded of just how strong she was. 

She took another stance, crouching as she slashed her knife through the air again, and she continued to yell more instructions at the class. 

Your lust numb brain couldn’t easily take in what she was saying, though. 

You simply enjoyed the pleasant warmth of her voice rolling through the air as your mind continued to wander. You remembered visuals of her stabbing that knife into soft Walker skulls and having blood drip down her arms. You thought back to a time during the escape from Terminus when she hadn’t hesitated to stab a man in the eye to keep him away from you and his blood had splashed up onto her cheek, making her angered grimace look all the more heroic as she extended a hand out to you and pulled you back from oncoming gunfire. 

At the time, you had been terrified. You had only been thinking of the fight for your life in the face of so much death. But now, you looked back at those memories - flashes of those moments - with a certain fondness. Your mind tunnel-visioned in and you could only see Rosita as a kind of beautiful Combat Barbie, coming to save you. 

It was the kind of rose coloured vision that made your pussy wet as you continued to stand there, admiring her as she stood tall at the front of the group, hands on her hips as she spoke more powerful, firm words. 

Your eyes continued to fixate on her hands - surprisingly, today she had chosen to forego her typical ‘combat’ gloves. So you were blessed with the sight of her bare, rough knuckles and long fingers twirling the thin handle of the knife around, causing the sharp, shiny blade to glint in the blazing sun. 

You almost hated that you couldn’t help but to imagine that blade pressed up against your skin. It was such a filthy thought, but once the fantasy wiggle its way through a tiny gap in your mind - it exploded to life. You knew that you would love how small and powerless you would feel underneath her if she held the knife against your neck. It would be nothing but a threat coming from her - but oh, the things you would do for her under the duress of that threat. 

You would love it if she pinned you down and tore your clothes to shreds with the sharpness of her knife, if she ran the cool metal across your skin. Even if she treated you to the sweet, stinging pinch of that knife’s tip in your flesh - just a bit. Just a little kiss of pain to make the pleasure sweeter. 

(It was a thought that had you squeezing your thighs together, hoping that your underwear wasn’t utterly ruined.) 

Rosita would be the only person you would trust to do it. Someone who had saved you from danger so many times, who had threatened men for even looking at you in a way she didn’t like. She would worship your body with the smallest touch of pain that you needed rather than punishing you cruelly with it. And again, this was a thought that had your pussy throbbing between your thighs as you mocked yourself with something that was probably never going to happen.

(She did like rough sex, but she valued you too much to even consider hurting you.)  

You were genuinely surprised when the group she was teaching began to disperse - you hadn’t realized how long you had been standing there, fantasizing about her. You knew that you were lovesick for her - but fuck, you didn’t realize that it was this bad.

Rosita waltzed across the field toward you, and you suddenly felt frozen under her gaze. You knew that it wasn’t anywhere near a crime to come and visit her - in fact, it was probably welcomed. But you were surprised that she didn’t seem happy to see you. She gave you a stern, firm-lipped scowl with tight, stressed brows pressing down from her forehead rather than greeting you with a smile. 

Perhaps the class was stressing her out, but you had a feeling that it was something more than that. 

“Hey, Ro-” You greeted her with a kind smile and warmth in your voice, and she immediately cut you off, shaking her head as she lifted her leg and retracted the blade of her knife back into the handle with her boot before she tucked it back into the pocket of her pants. 

“No.” She said. “What are you doing here?” 

Your stomach curled with an odd kind of guilt as she stared you down with piercing eyes. Of course she had noticed that you had been dismissing your class early to come and visit her. 

But like you suspected, it was more than that, even if she would never admit it to you. She wasn’t upset about the class she had been teaching or the fact that you had ditched yours in order to come and see her. 

Something had happened a few nights ago. Or rather - very early in the morning a few days ago. 

When changing over the guard shift, when the sun had just barely been kissing the sky, as she had passed Abraham her sniper rifle at the base of the ladder before he climbed up to take her place, she had made a comment about how she was glad that he hadn’t been late. (Which he had been a few other times.) She was glad because it meant that she could rush home to make you breakfast before you woke up. Your favourite was instant oatmeal with cinnamon - something she liked to wake you up with. 

Abraham had chuckled deeply in that jolly way he usually did, and said that he was happy for Rosita, because she had finally found a lover that made her ‘sweet’ and ‘soft’. She had no clue why - but those words got to her. He got inside her head once again. And this time, not for the better. 

She hadn’t rushed home to make you breakfast after he relieved her of her duty. And instead, she sharpened her knife and took a walk out in the woods. She spent the next few hours playing target practice with a random tree - throwing her knife into it so hard, over and over again, that she nearly threw out her shoulder, furiously trying to prove to herself that she hadn’t gone soft. 

For the past few days, she had been avoiding you, even if you hadn’t realized it yet. She was picking up more guard shifts, teaching more classes, volunteering to do inventory at the armory and acting like she got roped into it whenever you asked to spend time with her. 

She simply couldn’t face the fact that after all the relationships she had in the past, relationships she had with men, this relationship was going to be the one to ruin her. In those relationships, she had been so level-headed and detached, she had been able to move on so easily after the break-ups - they had come in and out of her life taking nothing from her and leaving her with valuable life skills. 

With you, she was getting soft. She was getting sappy. She was getting attached, she was becoming vulnerable. She was setting herself up to become broken. 

With you, she had so much to lose. 

Rosita Espinosa - the powerful woman - was going to be broken by you. 

“I came to bring you these,” You said brightly, giving her a smile as you extended your hands out, suddenly remembering that you had baked in another excuse to come and see her. You had brought along a bottle of water and a brown paper bag with the other half of a very large sandwich that you had saved from lunch specifically to share with her. 

“It’s pink,” She noted with slight suspicion as she took the bottle from you, eyeing it hesitantly. 

“It’s an electrolyte drink mix,” You explained. “It’s supposed to be good for you. You’ve been out here in the hot sun sweating all day. You probably need it,” 

You resisted the urge to mention how you loved the look of the sweat on her skin - how you would have given her a tongue-bath if she had asked you to. You had a feeling that she wasn’t quite in the mood to hear those remarks from you right now. 

She unscrewed the lid and took a few healthy gulps, and found herself thirstier than she was willing to admit, especially when she found that the drink tasted quite good - you were probably right. You were always good at taking care of her in ways that she forgot to take care of herself. 

“This is lunch,” You said, shoving the paper bag further into her personal space. “Mrs. Gordon made sandwiches for class today - she wouldn’t stop talking about how she made the bread from scratch. And I would be a lot more annoyed about that if it wasn’t really fucking good,” 

After she screwed the cap back on the bottle, she took the bag from you and peeked inside, and her stomach did growl quietly at the sight of the very fat sandwich wrapped in plastic. She had been so busy trying to avoid you that she hadn’t even realized she had skipped breakfast that morning in her rush to get out of bed before you woke up. 

“Thanks.” She said, her tone still sour and curt as she closed the bag again, vowing to take a break to eat later. 

“Is something wrong?” You felt the need to ask, wondering why she was being uncharacteristically cross with you. Perhaps she was just having a bad day, but it felt like she was angry with you - like you had done something. 

She shrugged, shifting her gaze toward the ground. 

She hated that she felt the need to avoid you. Especially when she missed you. She hated that something inside of her ached, that she yearned to taste your sweet lips and hear you whimper as she pressed herself between your thighs. But she had to remind herself that the thing inside of her that was yearning was something soft. Something she could afford to have. 

“I should probably go.” She said, trying her best to shrug you off. “I have to go relieve Sasha at the guard tower - and I’m pulling double duty tonight, so I probably won’t see you before you go to bed,” 

She began to walk away, but your words cut her off. 

“So we won’t get to hang out tonight?” You posed, the disappointment dipping through your words almost causing her to waver in her conviction. 

She could get someone to cover her shift if she truly wanted to flake off and hang out with you. It’s not like there was some big threat approaching town - guard duty was a precautionary thing, and a lot of people did it because they saw it as an easy job. 

Rosita did it to keep herself sharp. 

But then another wave of spite crept up inside of her as she remembered that. She needed to stay sharp. 

“No, I can’t just ‘hang out’ -” 

She swore sharply under her breath in Spanish, and for once it was in a situation that didn’t involve you naked and shoved between her body and some hard surface. You felt oddly scolded by her, as though she knew something that you didn’t. 

“I can’t just sit around doing nothing all the fucking time, okay? Not all of us are princesses - some of us have jobs, remember?” 

This was the first time she had ever called you ‘princess’ with a tone of an insult to it. This was the first time that she had ever insinuated that you didn’t pull your weight or didn’t do an equal amount of work. 

It felt strange - and it definitely felt like it was coming out of nowhere. 

“I have a job-” You shot back weakly, shocked. 

“Yeah, which you keep blowing off to come visit me like some wide-eyed little housewife.” 

She slurred the last word like it was the greatest insult she could muster, causing you even greater shock. Especially considering the last time she had called you that had been with her knee rocking between your thighs from behind, pressing precisely into your cunt while you made dinner for her and she purred into your ear about how pretty you looked in the dumb ruffled apron that Carol had given to you. 

You couldn’t pinpoint why she was so angry, and before you could formulate a reply to her dumbfounding words, someone else disrupted the conversation between the two of you. 

“Y/N?” Carl was walking up to you, holding the novel you had assigned to him in class. “I have some questions about the book - can we talk?” 

“Go do your job,” Rosita snarled at you. “I have to go do mine.” 

You tried to brush off the bizarre conversation as you turned to Carl to discuss the book, but you definitely weren’t going to let it go. 

… 

Later than night, after you had gotten off working a volunteer shift helping out at the pantry with Olivia, you were walking home by yourself, wondering how you were going to approach the problem with Rosita when the solution practically fell into your lap. 

You were carrying a white plastic laundry basket with some things in it - a plate of cookies wrapped in plastic given to you by Carol (delivered with that sickly sweet fake smile that always freaked you out a bit, especially because she only did it in front of other people); a jacket that Rosita had needed mended, now freshly sewn up by Olivia; a couple of pairs of jeans that you liked swiped from the community clothing bin; and a ‘new’ pair of boots that you thought Rosita would like, hoping that the gift would put her in a better mood. All that, and some rationed food supplies for the week for your household. 

With the canned goods and the boots in the basket, it was slightly heavy, but you were balancing it on your hip and the way home wasn’t that far. It wasn’t like Alexandria was some large, sprawling metropolis - walking from one end of town to the other took less than five minutes, even when you walked at a leisurely stroll. 

You thought you had it handled, but it seemed that your arms were pretty exhausted from the day. You had helped to unload a large haul that Glenn’s scavenging group brought back, so your back and your arms were aching from lifting all the boxes - many of them containing heavy books and paper supplies for your future classes, which you were incredibly thankful for, even if they were a pain in the ass to carry all the way down to the house that you used as a makeshift school. 

Between that and your mental distraction, thinking about Rosita, you weren’t entirely surprised when your grip wavered and the basket slipped out of your hand, accidentally spilling your goods out across the vacant street. 

At least - a street you thought was entirely vacant for the night. 

You let out a defeated sigh and dropped to your knees, beginning to gather up everything, just feeling glad that the plastic wrap was on tight enough that it had secured the cookies to the plate and you hadn’t lost your treat. You watched with intense fatigue as a can of your spaghetti rings rolled away - especially knowing that it was one of Rosita’s favourites, and again, you wanted to cheer her up with it, but you were almost too tired to chase the damn thing down the pavement. 

But you were surprised when someone appeared seemingly out of nowhere and stopped it with their foot. 

Your brief moment of relief was entirely ruined when their voice broke through the air. 

“Need a hand?” 

Spencer. 

Your gut twisted with disappointment and dread as you looked up the length of his body and saw him grinning down at you. You just hoped that those emotions weren’t too visible, not entirely written across your face as you forced a smile back. 

One awful thing about living in such a small town - you had to be polite to all of the people living there. You had to make nice with the residents to avoid being stuck behind the walls with endless petty drama. As much as you hated Spencer, you had to put up a front of likeability around him. Especially because he was Deana’s son. 

“Uh - yeah. Thanks.” You replied, shoving a few more things into your basket and rushing to get off the ground, hoping that you could make up some excuse that would get you home as quickly as possible. 

Spencer was - he was a piece of work. 

He was one of the only people in town who outright refused to acknowledge your relationship with Rosita. As much as the two of you engaged in PDA or as many times as your friends made jokes about the two of you being like ‘an old married couple’ - he never seemed to acknowledge it. Not once. 

And strangely enough, it didn’t seem to be out of homophobia. But instead, it seemed to be for the fact that he had some kind of one-sided obsession with Rosita. And since Abraham had broken up with her, he thought that he deserved an ‘opportunity’ to date her instead of you. You honestly couldn’t figure out which was worse - if he was actually a homophobe and he was just pretending to be okay with Aaron and Eric’s relationship and Tara and Denise’s, or the latter, which seemed a lot more likely to be true. 

Whenever Spencer interacted with Rosita, he complimented her in some skeezy way - he commented on her looks, he called her nicknames that she hated (like ‘babe’, or ‘sweetheart’). He kept trying to ask her over for dinner, kept trying to invite himself into your home to fix things that weren’t even broken (the ‘leaky’ faucet, the hot water heater, the ‘creaky’ floorboards). 

He had blatantly said in conversation multiple times that your home would function better with ‘a real man in it’. It had been the one time you had been thankful for Eugene and his big mouth - because he always reminded Spencer that he was the man of the house. Even though, compared to Eugene, with his Star Trek sheets and his sock monkey, Rosita most definitely was the man of the house. She was the one who knew how to fix up things and killed the spiders that Eugene screamed like a girl about.

The last time you had needed a light bulb changed but Rosita had been off on a run, you had made a point of inviting Abraham over to do it, and having beers with him on the porch after he had finished. When Spencer walked by, looking for Rosita, Abraham told him very blatantly to ‘get the fuck off my porch’ - even though it was no longer his house, and Spencer hadn’t stuck around after that. 

Spencer picked up the few cans that had rolled away on you and put them in the basket, and before you could beat him to it, he picked up the basket and gave you another unsettling smile. 

“Is this going to your place?” He asked, looking over the items and knowing that was the only obvious answer. 

“Uh - yeah.” You replied. “I - I can take it from here.” You said, holding out your hands, patiently waiting for him to hand you back the basket, but sadly - knowing that it likely wasn’t going to go over that easily with him. 

He was stubborn. And because you were known around Alexandria as ‘the school teacher’ - he wasn’t intimidated by you. He had never seen you bashing Walkers skulls or gutting unkind men when you had been forced to. 

“Oh come on, I can walk you home.” He said, a breathy chuckle in his voice. “A pretty girl like you shouldn’t be lugging around all this stuff anyway. What do you even have in here - some snacks, ooh - are these boots for Ro?” 

He gave another glance at the basket and then put it off to the side, back on the ground - dismissing it for now. You knew that you could have just picked it up and walked away, but you feared that he would have followed you home. Eugene had mentioned playing some card game with Tara and Noah, so you weren’t sure if he was there. Even if he wouldn’t be of any use in protecting you, you knew that Spencer wouldn’t try anything if another man was watching over you. He was a bastard like that. 

“Rosita.” You easily corrected him, annoyance angling on your breath. 

“What?” He replied, confused. 

“Rosita.” You repeated, firmer. “She only goes by Rosita. That’s her name.” 

You didn’t bother making the distinction that she only let you call her Ro, or Ro-Ro - that you got special privileges because you were her girlfriend. Any time you brought up things like that, Spencer usually breezed right past it in conversation. He wasn’t someone who usually cared about facts. 

You felt a pair of eyes on you, and when you glanced over your shoulder, you saw the glint of something dancing in the moonlight. You didn’t know that it was Rosita’s sniper rifle, perfectly pointed at Spencer’s head while he continued to smile at you in that utterly creepy way. 

It had not been your intention to wander past her lookout perch on your way home - it just worked out that way. For a lingering moment, her finger sat comfortably on the trigger, heavily considering putting a bullet through his brain for talking to her girl like that - for even daring to look at you like that. She wanted to prove to him and everyone else in this fucking town that her love for you did not make her soft. If anything, it made her more powerful and ruthless than ever, she realized. 

But then she considered that if she shot him so suddenly, it might scare you. You didn’t deserve to be dirtied with his blood. And if she killed him, if she killed Deanna’s son, she might risk getting kicked out. She couldn’t risk losing the home she had always wanted for you. 

There was another way to get this done. 

“Whatever,” Spencer chuckled lightly. 

He shrugged off what you had said, and when you moved to pick up the basket off the ground, he very pointedly stepped in your way, causing a harsh knot to twist in your gut as he crowded into your personal space. He continued to hold your basket hostage while he looked you up and down with an odd kind of… lust lingering in his gaze. You always knew that he had a thing for Rosita, but you had never considered what might happen if he turned that disgusting attention toward you. 

Even though it had only been a few moments, you quickly learned to hate it. 

“Come on, sweetheart, let me walk you home,” 

You choked on your breath, strangely enough, you did not feel brave enough to call him out on the nickname and tell him how much you hated it. Maybe it was because you eyed the gun on his belt, one he technically wasn’t supposed to have according to his mother’s rules - or because he was much taller than you, towered over you. 

As you took another glance down the street and realized how truly vacant it was - your hand drifted to your belt and you realized that the leather holster that usually kept your knife was empty. Something Rosita would have scolded you for endlessly - but you had been using it to open some of the (miraculously) untouched boxes that Glenn had brought back in order to unpack them, and in your tired state, you had forgotten it - left it behind. The rigid, important rules that Rosita had been teaching in her class earlier that day had already been broken by you. 

So now you were stranded on an empty street with Spencer staring you down in an uncomfortable, piercing way, insisting that he walk home with you. He had a gun and he was trying to get you alone in an enclosed space. All of your danger alarms were screaming and you had no clue what to do. 

“What time does Ro get off?” 

He asked, further reminding you just how vulnerable you were. It was a question you didn’t want to answer because she had told you that she was working a double shift of guard duty and that meant she wouldn’t be back at the house until the early morning. When you were speechless at his question, he reached out, brushing fingers down your neck in a way that made you recoil slightly, tempted to simply run away until you made it to Glenn and Maggie’s. 

“I’m sure we could make the bed and nice and cozy before she gets back-” 

“No.” You said, finally finding your voice to reject him, utterly disgusted by the implications behind his words. 

When you tried to step away from him, moving to act on the idea to simply abandon your supplies in favour of running away (hoping to find Abraham or Rick or Michonne or Daryl or someone) - he reached out and snatched your arm, gripping your wrist so tightly that it startled you, and caused you to freeze as an uncomfortable pain bloomed from the spot where he dug his grip into your flesh. 

Panic spread through you, and your breath stilled in your chest. You wanted to scream, but nothing came out. 

“No?” He repeated back, clearly aghast that you would dare to speak the word to him. In a moment, he shifted from playing at kindness to something a lot darker - rage painted across his features in a way that utterly terrified you. “Come on, I’ve seen the way you look at me. You can’t tell me that you waltz around here in those tight pants and those low cut little shirts because you don’t want a man’s attention,” 

The only person’s attention you ever wanted was Rosita’s. 

You tried pulling away from him, but he dug his hand into your wrist harder, making you wince. Your heart thumped inside your chest, and you wondered for a terrified moment if he would be the type of person to stab you or shoot you in the head and then spin some story about how a Walker got you. 

“No, I-” 

“Y/N.” 

You let out a breath of relief when Rosita’s voice came from behind you, and Spencer’s touch quickly retracted from you - like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar, quick to rip his hand back from something he knew he wasn’t supposed to be touching. Though she had been angry the last time you had seen her, you found an intense comfort in watching her approach - you knew that an angry Rosita would always be kinder and safer than a Spencer who pretended to be kind. 

You melted into her touch as she wrapped a firm arm around your shoulders from behind, pulling you into her and very pointedly away from Spencer, making a gap between you and him as she glared at the man over your shoulder. 

“Everything good here, babe?” She said, her voice low, her breath puffing against your cheek, the words very clearly directed at you, but still loud enough for him to hear them. 

“Better now.” You sighed, leaning into her body, feeling protected by the arm around you - by the warmth of her presence against your back, and the hard prodding against your lower back that you knew had to be a knife on her belt. (One she would never carelessly forget somewhere.) 

Spencer, clearly anxious under Rosita’s gaze, scrambled to explain himself. 

“I was just-” 

“You were just backing the fuck away from my girl.” Rosita barked out sharply, cutting off whatever bullshit he would attempt to spew. 

You would be lying if you said that the power and dominant possessiveness in her words didn’t turn you on. It was something that had been latent in you for hours - since you had become obsessed, watching her handle her knife with so much skill while she taught her class. And now it was back again with a vengeance as she woefully let you go and stepped around your body to face Spencer, rearing up against him as though she were ten feet tall, even though she had to crane her neck to make eye contact with him. 

“Come on-” 

“No.” She growled. “Whatever you were gonna say - no. Whatever you’re thinking - no. Whatever you think you can do - fuck no.” 

She then pointed to the basket on the ground, and with power so intense that it nearly crackled in the air, she ordered out: 

“Pick it up.” 

“W-what?” He stuttered out, clearly intimidated by her but making some feeble attempt to stand his ground. 

“You heard me, bendejo. Pick. It. Up.” 

Spencer then moved toward it in jolting motions just as stuttery as his words, and you watched with intense magnetism, in utter awe of Rosita’s power as he bent below her and picked up the basket, and then she snatched it from his limp arms and in turn, shoved the rifle from her watch duty into his arms, which he clumsily took. 

If he had anything more to say, he didn’t dare attempt to get the words out. Not while she was looking at him with a tight jaw and fire in her eyes. 

“I’m gonna take this, and you’re gonna take my watch, and you’re gonna feel lucky that you get to walk away from this with all your limbs intact, comprende?” She spat out harshly, putting a thick accent on the last word, showing just how angry she was with him. 

“Ro, I was just joking around-” He made one last attempt to make amends, and one final, fatal mistake along with it. 

“It’s Rosita.” She corrected him sharply. “And you can go ‘joke around’ - by yourself, at the top of that fucking watch tower.” 

She said, clearly injecting a double meaning to her words as she propped the basket on one hip and pointed to the tower she had just come from. 

“I’m gonna take my stuff back to my home and fuck my wife in my bed - because that’s my goddamn job, not yours.” 

Rosita put an intense amount of fire on the possessive words, causing goosebumps to spring up across your skin within seconds. 

Before Spencer could speak another word, Rosita put that free hand on your lower back and ushered you away, leaving Spencer gape-mouthed in the middle of the street and shocked at the pure vulgarity of her words. 

Which was something that had your pussy throbbing between your thighs as you took a sideways glance at her still very mean, rage fueled expression. It was the most vulgar way she had ever claimed you in front of someone else - and especially after the conversation the two of you had that afternoon, you had a feeling that whatever crisis she was having was most definitely over. 

She had a new mission in mind now - a new divine purpose. 

… 

And that divine purpose started with shoving you down onto the bed so roughly that the springs screamed in protest. But neither of you could come close to caring as she kicked the bedroom door closed with her foot and shed her jacket - you stared at her with lustful eyes as she flipped off her hat as well, causing a few stray hairs to escape from her neat ponytail. She was a vision in a tight tank top, the round neckline dipping to reveal just the right amount of cleavage, her jeans tight as usual with her knife holster clipped to the hip, making her look all the more powerful. 

You were settled in the middle of the smooth comforter (you always made it a habit to make the bed - you liked to keep a neat and tidy home, even though it didn’t matter much these days) on your elbows as you watched her, trembling with anticipation as to what would come next. You wondered what was in store for you with such a powerful woman - if she would treat you like a precious angel as she normally did, or if you were finally in for the punishment that you had always craved at her hand. 

“What the hell is wrong with you?” She huffed out, her power and intensity filling the room to capacity, making it near impossible for you to breathe as you continued to stare up at her, mesmerized. 

It left you speechless - unable to answer the question, your brain numb to the fact that she had even asked you something as you squirmed aimlessly, unconsciously seeking friction between your thighs. 

“Hey!” 

She shouted, crowding into your personal space, planting a firm knee on the bed between your thighs and grabbing your face with a fierce, tight grip - her thumb digging into your cheek on one side and her two fingers disturbing soft skin almost down into your teeth on the other. 

“I’m fuckin’ talking to you.” She snarled, her quiet voice much more intimidating than a full on scream. “What’s wrong with you, are you stupid? Why the fuck were you talking to him?” 

The feeling of being underneath her, being trapped there - it made your heart thump and made your pussy ache, but strangely, something inside of you flared with defiance. Something in you screamed to see just how far this would go. 

“Me?” You snapped back in reply. “He approached me! He-”

Rosita didn’t care to listen to the rest of your excuses - her anger at Spencer was still boiling inside of her, and she was too tense and fed up from all the emotions that had been running high inside of her for the past few days. She had been trying to avoid you, trying to deny everything she felt for you. She needed to protect you, to keep you away from scum like him - but you were too damn stubborn. You couldn’t just shut up and see how special you were - how perfect you were. 

She pulled her grip away from your face, hauling her hand back and swinging her arm to collide the back of her hand sharply with your face. At the same time, she shoved her knee right up against your cunt, making for a dizzying combination when pain bloomed across your cheek and the first bit of contact caused between your thighs tingles to spread through your swollen, aching pussy - trapped inside of your jeans. The combination of sensations made you moan weekly and arch into her touch, only proving how much you needed her. 

“Puta!” 

She spat out harshly, the filthy word bouncing off your skull in the most delightful way. She could call you anything in her velvet voice and your pussy would leak because of it. 

She then reached down to take a hold of your throat, tentatively gripping, not nearly enough to make you dizzy - just enough to truly possess you, to show you that she was in charge. It was something that had you gasping and leaning into the touch, aching for more. And she shoved her knee tighter against your clothed cunt while she gave you another sharp glare. 

“You should have been at home! You stupid slut! What the fuck do you expect when you’re running around out there at night, huh? You think the world is gonna treat pretty little whores like you nicely?” 

It was her very guarded way of telling you that she cared. Her way of telling you that she had moved you into her home so quickly after the relationship started because she wanted you to be protected. She preferred that you took a calm day job as a school teacher while she was the one on guard duty, the one out beyond the walls doing runs so that you wouldn’t have to worry about facing the harsh reality of the world. She would have killed a thousand men for you if it kept your hands clean and your mind unburdened.  

She probably would have killed Spencer to protect you if she hadn’t been more worried about the consequences from Deana. 

But still - instead of telling her that you had been working at the pantry, filling your basket with things to bribe her into a better mood with, that defiant thing rose up inside of you again. That thing that begged for her to squeeze harder around your neck - for her to strip off your clothes and fuck you senseless. That part of you that was angry that she had been so harsh with you earlier that afternoon. 

“Maybe I liked it,” You choked out, rubbing yourself down against her knee, unable to resist playing the whore that she accused you of being. “Maybe I was happy to finally get some attention from someone,” 

Unknown to you, this was just the right button to push. Rosita’s possessive instincts flared up again, and she ticked with rage as she became fueled by the goal to have you thinking of nobody but her. 

“Oh, attention?” 

She mocked you, the faux-sweet tone already making you dizzy. Your stomach flipped when she reached into her back pocket and pulled out the switchblade from earlier that day - your breath hitched as she pushed the button, flipping out the blade and causing it to glint in the light. She had seen the way you had been staring at her during the class - the lustful look on your face so damn readable. Of course she was going to use that to her advantage. 

She leaned down, putting more pressure on the hand holding your throat as she brought the blade close to your cheek, causing you to let out a harsh whimper. 

“Seemed like you only wanted my attention when I had this in my hand.” 

“Ro-” You whined, arching up, unintentionally making yourself breathless as you leaned into her tense palm stuck to your throat, pressing the seam of your jeans tightly to your clit where her knee was still so firm between your legs. 

It was a combination of sensations that made your brain melt between your ears in the most perfect way. All too quickly, your bratty act melted away, and now, you were incredibly pliant under her touch and all too desperate to see what she would do next. 

She let out a mocking laugh, giving you a grin that could have cut down a field of Walkers with its sharpness, and your heart pounded in your chest as you waited for her next move. 

“What, babydoll? Are you so damn eager for the slightest lick of attention that you don’t care if it’s my fingers or my knife? You want me to slice you up?” 

You knew it was insane, but you couldn’t deny how fucking soaked you were - and you knew she felt the heat coming off your cunt, that she saw the lust absolutely glossing over your eyes. 

A look of dawning came across Rosita’s face - shock flickered over her features for just a moment before it was restored to calm, intense control. She was hit with the realization that you truly wanted this - you truly wanted the pleasurable pain that her knife could bring you, especially when she was the one controlling it. She gave your throat a tiny squeeze, ensuring you that she could give you exactly what you needed before she continued. 

“Oh my god - you really do want this, huh? You crazy slut.” 

You gave a nod and let out a moan - a sound that only doubled in on itself when she placed the cool blade flat against your cheek, beginning to oh-so-slightly skim the sharp edge along your soft skin. 

“Hmm…” She said, as though truly contemplating. “No, I can’t mark up this pretty face.” 

Then she moved the knife downward, and you let out a sharp gasp when you felt it press under the thin strap of your tank top. You were wearing it under a loose flannel, which had mostly fallen off your shoulders in your haste to get to the bed and was now tangled around your elbows. You hadn’t put on a bra that morning, as the only good one you had needed a hole sewed up in it, and you knew that your lust-hardened nipples were more than visible through the thin fabric of your tank top. 

“Maybe… here?” She grinned at you, pretending to be indecisive when she was the most sure-minded person that you knew. 

You let out a loud, rattling moan when she yanked the knife upward, tugging it through the fabric of the strap, cutting it completely loose and free from your body. This left only your shoulder bare and didn’t even mark your skin, but the act of her cutting off your clothes felt so erotic to you that your blood was thumping even harder through your veins. You couldn’t hold yourself back from grinding even harder against her knee, humping her like a bitch in heat as you panted harshly into the air, gasping for breath and becoming utterly overwhelmed with lust. 

“I shouldn’t even let you have clothes,” 

She whispered furiously, skimming the tip of the knife along your cleavage, barely pressing it down, leaving behind just a tiny sting where the utmost point scraped across your skin - just enough to leave you buzzing and arching up into the touch. By the time she let go of your throat, passing off the knife into her other hand to place it under the other strap, you were panting earnestly, watching her with intense rapture. 

“I should just keep you here, in this room, naked. I should keep you in a fucking cage so that scum like Spencer can never even look at you,” 

Her words alone made your clit practically vibrate between your thighs, utterly entranced by the idea of being a caged whore for her. 

She punctuated this point by ruining the other strap, making quick work of it. So quick that the tip of the knife left the tiniest little indenture on your shoulder, one so small that it drew up the barest little droplet of blood. Of course, she was eager to lean down and tongue over it, moaning into your skin as she sucked this small trace of blood down, making you shove your fingers into her hair and moan loudly in return. 

“Rosita, please!” 

“Say that you’re mine.” She demanded, her breath becoming airy too, showing that you definitely weren’t the only one affected by this. 

“I’m yours,” 

You were her mindless puppet now, and you easily complied with the demand. You absolutely loved the feeling of the words on your tongue while you looked into her dark eyes, loving the honey sweet madness that danced there - something that was eventually going to drive you insane but made you feel perfectly at home for now. 

“Again!” She barked. 

The power was swallowing her whole, but she couldn’t help it. If she had you, she was capable of anything. 

“I’m yours!” You replied, louder this time, more desperate. 

“What the fuck were you thinking, huh?” 

She posed, moving to straddle you across your thighs, sadly removing her knee from between your legs and taking away the thing you had to hump against. She pinned you to the bed with her body weight while she brought the knife to the top of your shirt, slicing into the fabric and quickly tearing it apart, revealing your heaving breasts - your nipples pebbled tight with lust. 

“Going out after dark, going out alone - are you fucking stupid?” 

Stupidly, as she accused you of being, you thought this was actually a question that required you to answer. 

“I thought-” You began, but she sharply cut you off, pressing the blade to your lips in a way that made you immediately freeze up, letting out a whimper. 

“That’s it! That’s the whole fucking problem!” She hissed in return. “A dumb slut like you shouldn’t be allowed to think. You’re just a stupid little fuckhole. You should know your place.” 

You began panting harshly again as she ran the knife down across your neck - just barely skimming the blade across your skin as she ran it down your chest and over the mounds of your breasts, teasing you as your panting became more intense with anticipation. The whole time, she stared you down with a very certain, serious gaze. You felt so delightfully trapped underneath her - there’s no other place in the world you would have rather been. 

“Do you know your place?” Rosita asked, utterly serious. 

You nodded in quick jolts, believing that she didn’t want you to speak again. 

“Then tell me.” 

“I’m yours.” You babbled out again, loving to say it, knowing it was an answer she liked to hear. 

“And?” She prompted. 

With your brain so focused on the sharp edge running across your skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake, and your cunt throbbing between your thighs, you had to rack your brain for what felt like a moment too long, desperately looking for the answer. 

“I’m - I’m a stupid fuckhole,” You stuttered out. 

This revelation earned you the end of your teasing - Rosita finally, precisely, dipped the end of the knife against your breast, making a small, sharp cut right above your nipple. Something no bigger than a paper cut that leaked the smallest amount of blood - a cut that likely wouldn’t even leave a scar. 

Still, the feeling made you moan like a whore as you arched up wildly, the endorphins driving your body wild. She didn’t leave you hanging for long, immediately dipping her head down to tongue along the cut, not letting the blood escape her as she laved over the small cut before she engulfed your tit completely into her mouth. She sucked so harshly on the flesh, devouring you in a way that made you moan even louder and thrash underneath her. 

You didn’t have room to be upset at the fact that she didn’t linger there for long, because she began to descend down your body with more wet, open-mouthed kisses. She even threw in a few harsh, sucking bites - clearly determined to mark you, even if it was in places that nobody would see. Your thighs shook with anticipation and your throat became choked off in your own spit. Especially when she reached for your jeans and was absolutely merciless in ridding them from your body, using her knife to desomate the button in such a harsh way that it clinked on the floor somewhere. 

In the back of your mind, you were thankful that you had picked up those new pairs of jeans. But that ghost of a thought completely dissolved off as she ripped the denim off you, her patience clearly thin and growing thinner by the second. She then took her knife to the leg hole of your underwear at your hip - proceeding to completely cut them off your body. She was forced to peel the scraps off you with how wetly it was stuck to your pathetically hot, overwhelmed cunt. Something that both turned you on a little bit more. 

She swore under her breath as she was faced with the sight - your pussy now freely leaking onto the bed, absolutely throbbing, clearly so utterly needy for her. 

Eye level with your weeping gash, you thought for certain that she wouldn’t hesitate to dive in. You thought that she would want to make an example out of forcing orgasms out of you until you cried just to prove how much you needed her. And you were surprised when she rose up on her knees, locking eyes with you once again. 

“You really wanna be mine?” She asked, a surprising timidness creeping into her voice. 

“Of course,” You replied, a sex-addled warbling in your tone that made it sound like you had been thoroughly fucked even though she hadn’t touched you yet. 

“You trust me?” She wondered quietly. 

You had to wonder why she even asked the question, but you gave your most honest answer. 

“More than anything in the world, Ro.” 

It was a passionate declaration on your part - one that made her entirely certain about her next move. 

She grabbed the meat of your inner thigh with her left hand, pinning your leg down to the bed and forcing you open in a way that made you think her fingers or her tongue were coming next. You received a delightful shock when she took the knife in her right hand and brought the tip of it to the soft, delicate flesh of your inner thigh with intense precision and certainty. 

Sharp stings of pain ran up your body from the place where she dug the knife into your skin, and you began to moan. 

It wasn’t even close to the worst pain you had ever felt, and with the lustful heat already so intense inside of you, your body couldn’t help but to interpret this as the most glorious kind of pain. Especially with the feeling of her hand on your thigh, the knowledge that she was the one doing this to you - it certainly didn’t feel wrong. In fact - it felt so damn right. 

If she hadn’t been holding you down so firmly, you certainly would have been writhing under her. You knew that your pussy was leaking even more, and the sight of your hole pulsing and clenching around nothing with utter need was the only thing that broke her concentration even slightly. It was lucky that she finished up quickly, and didn’t take intense genius to partake in what she needed to do. 

All too soon, she removed the knife from your skin, leaving you aching with the dull aftershocks of the sweet pain. You choked out another moan when she lifted the now red-soaked tip to her mouth and licked your blood off it. She hummed with pride at the taste, feeling utterly content as she looked down at the modestly sized but very clear sight of her initials now carved into your thigh. 

You were marked as hers forever now. 

“Ro, Ro, please-” 

You moaned out, now somehow more desperate than ever, shaking with need, absolutely desperate for her to touch you. She placed the knife on an empty spot beside you, abandoning it for now, very tempted to never wash it again now that it was blessed with your blood. 

“Hey, shh. I’ve got you,” She said, her voice dropping low in a perfectly delicious way. “You’re all mine now.” 

She got low on her stomach once again, propping herself between your legs to collect her prize. She opened her mouth and swiped her tongue across your inner thigh, making the wounds sting even fiercer as she licked up the blood that was freely leaking down onto the bed (mentally vowing that she would bandage you up properly later). And then, she finally turned her head and used that copper tinted tongue to make a greedy swipe along your swollen, untouched cunt - a move that made you moan and arch into her as a lust that had been festering in you all day was finally working to be released. 

She didn’t hesitate from there - you were hers now. Utterly, undeniably hers, and no girl of hers was going to leave her bed unsatisfied. 

She pinned your knees to the bed wide open, careful not to dig her fingers into the freshly cut skin, still admiring her work out of the corner of her eye and absolutely loving it. She latched her lips into your mound and began jabbing her tongue against your swollen clit - sucking the swollen bead intensely and loving every wrecked noise you let out. Loving the feeling of your heartbeat throbbing under her lips, loving the way you kept desperately trying to buck up into her touch even though your body was already too worn out to do so. 

You could do little more than lay there and take it as she opened her jaw wide and laved her tongue over you, drinking up as much of your wetness as possible, intent to truly devour you. She loved how your sweetness mixed with your tinny blood on her tongue - both so sharp and bitter and so utterly you, your essence now absolutely entrenched in her veins, part of you inside of her that would never be able to be washed away. 

She was marked just as deeply as she had marked you. 

Truthfully - Rosita knew she had been marked by you since the day she had first laid eyes on you. 

It was likely why she was so determined to leave a lasting scar on you - so determined to have proof that you were hers. It was why she was driven so mad by the idea of another man even looking at you when she had barely been bothered by him flirting with her for weeks before that. She wanted to protect you from the horrors of the world, she wanted to keep you high on a pedestal where nothing could ever reach you. 

She wanted to crawl inside of you to have your warmth constantly surrounding her because the touch of a man had never compared for her. It had never even come close to this. 

She wanted to bathe in your cunt and the pretty sounds you made whenever she fucked you like this. She wanted to own you the same way that the earth owns the sun - not in truth, but in the belief that it could be possible while bathing in that perfect warmth without completely burning up. 

“Please, please, please-” 

You chanted, humping yourself mindlessly against her face while she selfishly sucked on your clit, not yet with true intent to make you cum, but simply enjoying your taste - simply bathing in that warmth. 

But then she was reminded of her job, reminded of her sacred duty to you. So she took one of her hands off your knee, bringing her fingers - slightly calloused, strong from all the hard work she did to protect the community, to protect you, firm from all the time she spent wielding knives and working the trigger of a gun. And she didn’t hesitate to slide those fingers inside of you while she tongued furiously over your clit. She finger-fucked you wetly, causing intense, filthy sounds to resonate through the room while you gasped for air. 

“Rosita!” 

She hummed against your clit at the pure enjoyment of her name on your lips, and it was those small vibrations that sent you hurdling over the edge, bringing your orgasm crashing down over you. 

You arched up off the bed and flooded around her fingers as you went near-silent, absolutely breathless while your body was rocked by the impossible sensation - your cunt now smeared with blood as your wounds continued to leak freely. Rosita leaned in and tongued over the wound again, enjoying another coppery mouthful with a heady moan of her own as she continued to finger you through your orgasm. 

When she finally pulled away, your heart throbbed at the sight of her - her chin covered in your wetness, her dark hair wild and falling from its once neat ponytail, her lips covered in a trace of red that was more perfect than any lipstick you could have ever imagined. You couldn’t help but to smile at her as you pulled her in for a kiss, savouring the taste of yourself on her tongue. 

… 

She took the time to bandage your leg nicely before the two of you went to sleep. The simple kiss that she laid on top of the bandage meant more to you than any complex words she could have spun. 

You were truly hers now. And there was no running from that. 

… 

The next day when you went to visit her as she prepared for a run - oddly enough, one that would have Spencer on the crew - there was a distinct soreness to your gait. One that made it look like you had just gotten off a very long horse ride as you tried not to rub your sore inner thigh up against your other leg while you walked. Spencer gave you a strange look as you bid Rosita good luck on the run and gave her a long, heated kiss on the mouth - but both of you ignored him.

...

A/N: Please keep in mind, this is a oneshot, and there will not be a continuation or a 'Part 2'. This story is complete as it is, so if you are going to comment, please only comment about the content that has already been written instead of asking for more.

If you enjoyed this fic, please consider reblogging to show your appreciate, or check out more of my writing on my Walking Dead Masterlist. Happy reading!

[racingliners]

F1 Re-Watch 2013: Round 13 - Singapore

So I've been taking my sweet time in carrying on with my 2013 watch through bc a) following the 2023 season is eventful and b) I wanted to ensure I would have the proper time to watching Singapore in full because, for anyone who's new here, it is one of my absolute favourite races and on top of that it's a Seb win at Singapore so this race needed my undivided attention.

(also the race replay is two and a half hours)

I did watch this race at the time, and apart from Seb being iconic we also have the now-famous Webber-Alonso taxi ride, and my only other memory is Jev crashing out which 😭

fair warning I may go off about how pretty the track is, like, a lot:

Getting slightly triggered about Crofty talking about humidity after watching Qatar 2023, but we move on

*deep inhale* Singapore preeeeeeeeeetty 😍

So, starting grid overview!: Seb pole (🥰), Rosberg P2, Grosjean P3, Lewis P5, Fernando P7, Jenson P8, Dan P9, and Jev 12

Man, seeing Perez down in 14th knowing he won the race last year is quite the F1 whiplash.

Super Soft and Mediums are the tyre compounds for this race, and all but one driver (Sutil) are starting on the super softs.

oh. my. god. Seb's v sparkly helmet. I ADORE it.

[Formation Lap]: Aaaaaand cue the mad dash of mechanics and engineers running back to the garages.

"Let's go lesbians let's go!"

(am I talking about the mechanics, or the drivers on the formation lap, who's to say?)

(plot twist it's both)

oooh infrared camera on the tyres, love that

Seb's championship lead was over 50 points at this point in the season, please inject it into my veins at the earliest opportunity

[Start/Lap 1]: Rosberg leads into turn 1!!!

but he goes wide and Seb retakes P1

Also Fernando's up into P3, man's had speedy af starts since the dawn of time

[Lap 2]: whew the gap between Seb and Nico is already 1.9 seconds

argh Lewis has to give a place back to Massa for going wide, he's now P7

"Sebastian Vettel half a second quicker on this lap" THAT'S THE LION OF SINGAPORE BABY!!!

Lewis is running a non-yellow helmet but the camera isn't focusing on him for long enough for me to be able to tell what colour it is. It looks kinda pretty though.

(Stay tuned for more thrilling Helmet Watch updates)

[Lap 3]: oof Dan's down to P14 after starting P9

Current top 5 is: Seb, Rosberg, Alonso, Webber and Grosjean

With Seb having a 4.6 second gap over P2. 🏃‍♂️💨

Remember when they briefly called sprint race winners Speed Kings? That's Seb rn.

Gosh I will never ever tyre of watching the cars drive round Singapore, I really do love the track layout.

Every street circuit apart from Monaco wishes they were the Marina Bay Street Circuit.

Anyway, start replay! You can see Dan get bogged down, hence the drop in track position. Also Nico's start was pretty aggressive, had he not ran out of track he'd probably still be leading

oh, Lewis did the same thing to Massa as he did at Singapore this year 😭 (still love you mate don't worry)

[Lap 5]: "Remember there are safety cars out there, save your tyres" You can hear the mild passive aggressive 'Seb slow tf down' in Rocky's voice dvbjdfbj

He's 6.4 seconds ahead of Rosberg

[Lap 6]: Not much overtaking going on rn has to be said

[Lap 7]: Gosh I miss it when the cars had glossy liveries, they look so shiny under the floodlights

This is mainly why I have beef with matte liveries ngl

[Lap 8]: "Alonso P3 is holding the pack up" Singapore 2013 🤝 Monaco 2022: Bono calling out Fernando for on-track nonsense

I assume this is all to do with track gaps and pit windows and all those things I don't currently have the brain to do maths for

Oh I'd forgotten all about Seb and Mark's gearbox issues from Monza, they both have the same gearboxes in their cars rn

(I don't think we had any gearbox issues this race, but my memory of 10 years ago is obviously patchy)

[Lap 9]: Anyway, no change in grid order. The track is still pretty.

And a David Beckham sighing in the Merc garage!

[Lap 10]: Gap between Seb and Nico now just over 7 seconds

[Lap 11]: And Raikkonen is the fist car to pit, he takes another set of super softs

Comms and Ted speculating that with the tyre wear the drivers are reporting it's looking like a 3-stop race

[Lap 12]: An Alonso fastest lap, while Gutierrez and Jev pit

oof, replay of Lewis having a lock-up while chasing Massa

[Lap 13]: Rosberg with a 3.4 second gap over Alonso

[Lap 14]: Webber pits for mediums, Massa did the same a lap earlier

Jenson also pitted.

[Lap 15]: And in comes Alonso, also for mediums.

And Nico being called in to cover him almost immediately

Suddenly, Tom Jones

Anyway, traffic wise Alonso came out behind Di Resta, who's doing a great job at holding him up

[Lap 16]: and in pits Rosberg for mediums.

Merc with the double stack, Lewis has also pitted.

Top 5 currently: Seb*, Rosberg, Di Resta*, Fernando and Webber. Interestingly with Alonso being unable to pass Di Resta his gap to Mark is now only 1.2 seconds. (* = still to stop)

and cut to Maldonado v Perez v Hulkenberg for 11th

✨midfield spice✨

[Lap 17]: Seb with a 30 plus second gap over Rosberg, so he should retain the lead when he pits at the end of the lap

and he also takes on a set of mediums, and keeps the lead of the race

[Lap 18]: Di Resta remains the only car on track left to pit, Alonso still can't get past him

[Lap 19]: Seb is still doing Seb things, 8 second gap ahead of Rosberg

[Lap 20]: Make that 8.5

And Alonso is *still* behind Di Resta,

"These tyres feel terrible" "Message understood" The predecessor to "Bono my tyres are gone?" or are they genuinely shit? Lewis this is why I have trust issues

Helmet watch: finally a slow mo shot of Lewis, his helmet looks like it's all over silver which I love!!

(I absolutely will try and find pictures for my post-re-watch blogging later)

also also hi Merc pit wall!

[Lap 21]: After 84 years, Di Resta pits for his first stop

The top 10 is now: Seb, Rosberg, Alonso, Webber, Grosjean, Lewis, Di Resta, Massa, Jenson and Raikkonen

[Lap 22]: I don't know about you, but I'm feeling twenty-two...

(sorry, I had to)

[Lap 23]: Still not much racing going on

But Grosjean just set a purple first sector 👀

"We've seen a lot less driver errors this year" I fear an incoming commentator's curse now

[Lap 24]: And cut to Tom Jones sat with the Lotus mechanics

and in racing news, there's just over 4 seconds covering 3rd-6th place

And a Toto sighting in the Merc garage!

[Lap 25]: There's Dan in the wall at turn 13 😭

He's absolutely fine, the front end is ever so slightly dented as he was braking for the corner.

But there's are Safety Car

(also silly me for getting my Toro Rosso's confused)

[Lap 26]: and in come a whole bunch of cars to pit under the SC, though Seb, Rosberg and Webber have stayed out.

[Lap 27]: Can't say I have a lot of thoughts, I did manage to find pics of Lewis' helmet though! It's an early version of his white and red helmet design he ran for a good while, one of my favourites of his

[Lap 28]: Rocky giving Seb some restart coaching, bless

Alright I've restrained myself for long enough, the Singapore skyline at night is bloody gorgeous

[Lap 29]: "If Ted's been doing maths I want to hear this in full" I will give Crofty that one right

Ted's back! He thinks it's going to be a 57-58 laps race (ie hitting the two hour race limit before the full race distance of 61 laps)

[Lap 30]: SC in this lap!

"The radio failed when I talk" That's definitely something you want to hear mid-race 😬 (This was Rosberg hopefully talking to his engineer)

Anyway, looks like Seb's restarted!

[Lap 31]: Post SC pit-stops, the top 5 is: Seb, Rosberg, Webber, Lewis and Alonso

If we get a Lewis v Fernando battle I fear my heart may not take it

[Lap 32]: oof that's a lot of marbles on the main straight

Meanwhile, Seb is back to doing Seb things, 4.1 gap to Rosberg

Not Lewis thinking he'd ran over debris and asking to the to check his tyre pressures. stress.

I think he's fine

[Lap 33]: Seb fastest lap 🥰

"More collective groans from the sofas of the world" Respectfully Crofty, shut up.

Niki vibing at the back of the garage with David Beckham

oof Romain being told to pit because his engine is having a problem with air consumption??????

"What is wrong with this car" Great question mate

This is the most bizzare thing I have ever seen.

He's just sat there while a Renault engineer puts some air into the car.

Sheesh. He comes out in 21st.

[Lap 35]: Right, hopefully we don't have to do that again.

Also no I'm still not used to hearing GP on Di Resta's team radio.

Fun fact, super soft is the same in Italian as it is in English. This was brough to you by Andrea Stella's radio to Fernando

[Lap 37]: Seb has a 12 second gap over Rosberg. 🏃‍♂️💨💨

ooooooof replay of Gutierrez juuuust missing the barriers as he went off the track, well saved has to be said.

[Lap 38]: and just to add to Rosberg's woes he has a chunk of rubber stuck in his front wing, which is losing him a little bit of aero performance

[Lap 39]: ✨another Seb fastest lap✨

and a Lewis PB!!

Ahhh, RBR want Seb to build another pit stop gap in case he needs it. clever.

oh no Romain DNF :(

[Lap 40]: we're at 40mins left of race time.

Thankfully the TV graphics still have a lap count

[Lap 41]: Webber pits for another set of mediums

sounds like we might get another pit stop shuffle

[Lap 42]: and lo and behold in comes Rosberg, also pitting for another set of mediums

and he's jumped by Webber!

They're down in 11th and 12th but that will likely change with the cars ahead pitting.

Though there's a change Alonso (now P3) can go to the end

[Lap 44]: STOP THE RACE!!! JENSON IS P4!!!!!

also in comes Lewis , who also stops for mediums. He comes out in 10th

Okay now we can stop the race JENSON'S P3!!!!!

Seb also called into pit.

[Lap 45]: He takes on a set of super softs, and is clear ahead of Alonso in P2.

livery watch: god the glossy red Ferrari under the lights really does hit different, I miss it 😭

meanwhile Rosberg is arguing with his engineer about the strategy and whether or not he should be pushing or saving his tyres

this is all under the assumption that Fernando has to stop again when he technically doesn't have to.

[Lap 46]: Anyway I'm jus to going to stare at Jenson being P3 on the timing screen because I have MISSED IT SO

Perez is also running P5, McLaren have potentially pulled a blinder.

[Lap 47]: The slow mo shot of Seb in his sparkly helmet >>>>>>

[Lap 48]: The Merc pit wall realising they're going to have to overtake some cars since those ahead on track are trying to run to the end

since those guys (Alonso, the McLarens and Raikkonen) all pitted under the SC, it's not surprising that they're trying to stretch their second stint out for as long as they can

[Lap 49]: First Webber, then Rosberg get past Gutierrez who's on older tyres

aaaand as does Lewis. (Webber now P7, Rosberg P8, and Lewis P9)

[Lap 50]: It's quite fun watching this strategy stuff play out because at a regular track, it would absolutely favour the 3 stoppers, but with Singapore being a street track it's slightly more difficult to make it work

also: OVERTAKES!!

[Lap 51]: I find it hilarious that Seb going so fast is going to be the decider as to whether or not the race goes to full distance or the 2hr time limit. King shit.

(I love him your honour)

[Lap 52]: He has a 13.5 second gap over Alonso in P2.

"Lewis Hamilton is starting to gain on his team mate" *2014-2016 flashbacks*

[Lap 53]: Damn I wish I had snacks, watching Webber and the Mercs charge through the field is so fun

[Lap 54]: Jenson is still in P3 but I know he doesn't finish there :(

and Webber gets past Hulkenberg for P6!

and Raikkonen gets past Jenson 😭

it was fun while it lasted

Top 3 now: Seb, Alonso and Raikkonen

[Lap 55]: And both Mercs take Hulkenberg

Di Resta in the barriers, though not by much.

While that happened Webber got past Perez

[Lap 56]: ...and now Jenson

I am equal parts thriving and in the trenches

[Lap 57]: 🚨5 laps remaining klaxon🚨

and Rosberg takes Perez

oh Massa's here

and Webber's shortshifting issues have returned.

[sirens, gunshots, the distant sound of sobbing strategists]

Rosberg gets past Jenson, and Lewis gets past Perez.

[Lap 58]: And Lewis overtakes Jenson into turn 1

I have no idea where any of these guys are position wise. Damn the scrolling positions graphic.

[Lap 59]: and as I say that it scrolls back: Seb P1, Alonso P2, Raikkonen P3, Webber P4, Rosberg P5, Lewis P6

But Webber's just been told he has to nurse his car to the end

[Lap 60]: We've also got a 4 car battle for P8. Jenson, Perez, Hulkenberg and Sutil are all running nose to tail

And both Mercs take Webber in the span of a couple of corners.

[Lap 61]: Final lap!!

something about the duality of Red Bull drivers, the onboard with Webber does not sound healthy.

While Seb has 34 seconds over Alonso.

[Finish]: and SEB WINS IN SINGAPORE!!!!! 🎉🎉🎉

King. Shit.

Alonso P2, Raikkonen P3, Rosberg P4, Lewis P5, Massa P6, Jenson P7, Perez P8, Hulkenberg P9 and Sutil round out the top 10.

WHEW. That's probably one of Seb's most dominant wins ever. Which is like iconic as hell. And he drove so fast that we did make it to full race distance. I only really enjoyed the latter stages of watching the 3 stopper cars carve their way through the field. The nature of the circuit meant they had to work for it, and they were all really great overtakes.

So that was very, very fun. Next race - South Korea!

[butterfly-lies-chase-them-away]

That Bruno Teacher!AU Fic was simply amazing, I really hope you make a series out of it 🙏 ! ( Loved how infatuated but guilty he was ahh )

Don’t Stand So Close To Me (18+)

Part 2

Teacher!Bruno Madrigal x Student!Fem!Reader

Modern Day!Imagine Non-Magic AU

Summary: After getting caught in the rain, reader gets a ride home with Bruno but ends up having to stay at his for a bit for the rain to settle

Warnings: Swearing, Agegap, inappropriate thoughts, teacher/student (STUDENT IS OF AGE), sir kink, maybe slight bimbofication if you squint, slight scent kink

Word Count: 2845

Italics will mostly be his direct thoughts or his imagination

Author Note: I definitely had a huge hand in the plot for this one in the comment section of the last part. I have also added a taglist, so if you would like to be in it, just comment it down below. This one is also significantly longer than the last.

Don't Stand So Close To Me (Masterlist)(Part 1) >(Part 2)< (Part 2 Reader POV)

(I do not own this gif)

-

Bruno POV

Exams are coming up in a couple of months, so I have to start preparing my students with practice tests and revision. Just the other day, I had given them a practise test on what we had learnt at the beginning of the year.

While my students do revision questions I had put up on the board, I begin marking the tests. Getting through the first few was quick and easy. It was about the fifth paper when I hesitated.

Her paper.

I skim over the first page with her name written in beautiful handwriting. I graze my fingers over the dried ink, admiring her penmanship. I made sure to inspect every inch of the paper, not wanting to miss anything.

...Maths. Just maths, everything on there was maths.

What am I even looking for? This is her test paper, not a love letter!! Idiot!

I go back to the start, sighing and begin to actually mark her paper. I click my tongue a few times at the mistakes made on the paper. She seemed to be struggling with even the basic questions. 

I should have noticed this when teaching, but nooo, I just had to get distracted.

I give her a grade that's not a fail, but close to it. If she doesn't get help before the final exam, she won't pass. 

I sigh again before I look up to see her with a look I can only imagine being complete confusion. 

That poor girl. If she had a decent teacher, she wouldn't be in this problem in the first place.

I reluctantly go back to grade the rest of the test papers. 

I had managed to finish them all by the time classes were to be dismissed for the day. I go around the class, handing each of them their papers back. As they exit the class, I watched as Y/N shoved her paper in her bag, only getting the chance to look at the grade on the front before rushing out of the class.

Bus maybe?

I look out the window to see it absolutely pissing down with rain. 

I hope she's got an umbrella.

And with that, I go back to my desk, packing all my things into my bag and making my way out of the classroom. I pull out my umbrella as I make my way out into the rain. I have to rush to my car cause even with the umbrella, I was still getting wet. I struggle to get my keys out of my pocket and juggle my bag and umbrella. I eventually manage to get my car open and I toss everything in the back before hopping in the front. The second I turn the car on, I put the heater on, warming up the car. I removed my jacket before taking off. 

Not even two minutes into my drive, I spotted someone standing in the rain at the bus stop. They'll catch a cold in this weather. As I got closer, I was able to make out who it was. 

It's her.

I quickly pull up next to her. I roll down the window and there she is, wet- no, drenched. 

"Are you okay?"

Really Bruno...out of all the things you could have said…you ask if she's okay…idiot!

"Yeah! I'm fine, I just missed the last bus so I'm waiting for the next!" She had to shout over the rain. 

"The next bus won't come for other hours, is-is there anyone you can call?" I asked. 

She shook her head. 

Fuck, do something!

"Hop in, I'll take you home".

….AAHAHHHHHH!! SINCE WHEN HAVE I EVER BEEN THIS CONFIDENT!?! 

"It's fine! I don't want to bother you!" She yelled.

"It's pissing down, I'm not letting you stay in the rain," I say. 

She looked down the street before rushing over to my car. She quickly jumped in as I put up the window. Once she was in, she let out a relieved sigh while dropping her head back onto the seat.

"Thank you," she said, sounding out of breath.

I just give her a tight smile, before turning back to the road but before I could take off, she let out a small cry.

"I'm all wet! I don't want to ruin your car," she cried.

I look over at her and she had a slight pout on her lips. 

Fuck, she's adorable- Hey! Snap out of it! Get her a towel or something, you dick!

"I should have a towel or something in the back," I said, reaching into the back and grabbing a towel from the ground. 

I handed it over to her and she had the cutest smile on her face. 

"You're a life saviour, sir!" 

Well fuck.

There goes my dick again, bloody hell. I can't help but look at her as she dries herself off. I can't help my gaze from drifting down to her breast as she dries her chest. Her shirt was clinging to her chest from the rain. I suck in a quick breath before turning back to the road. I roll up me sleeves, nervously.

I sure hope she doesn't see, otherwise, I'm fucked. 

"What's your address?" I asked, focusing on anything that might distract me. 

She told me her address.

"That's like a 40-minute drive from here," I say, relieved I had got to her in time.

"Yeah, it's okay if you don't drive me all the way, I can-" 

"No! U-uh, no, it's okay, I can take you," I said, having to calm myself down. 

"I-uh just really don't want to send you back into that rain, ya know,"

Wow, smooth Bruno……

"Thank you, Mr. Madrigal," she said, looking at me. 

My god, the way my name just rolled off her tongue, fuck.

It was about 10 minutes after I had picked her up and the rain had gotten worse. I could nearly see through the window with the rain sliding down it. I had to lean forward a bit, hoping that I would be able to see a bit better but nope! Still completely blind.

It's not safe to keep driving in this weather, I would never forgive myself if I got into an accident with her in the car.

"It's too dangerous to drive in this weather, are you okay with just stopping in at my house and letting it settle down a bit?" I asked, not wanting to make her uncomfortable. 

"Yeah, I think that might be best," she said, with her voice quivering a bit.

I look over at her and see her trying to hide the obvious fear on her face. 

"Hey, are you okay?"

"Y-yeah, just...can't see, ya know?" Laughing a bit after.

"Don't worry, okay, I won't let anything happen to you," I say.

A take a turn off the original route and head towards my house. Less than two minutes later, I pull into my drive and park the car. I reach into the back grabbing all my thing and handing my umbrella to Y/N. 

"You probably need it more than me, I'm already wet," she tried to argue but I was not having it. 

"I want you to take it," I say, a little more aggressive than I intended.

She took the umbrella with a little 'thank you'. We both look at each other, subconsciously counting down, before we shot out of the car and run to the door. She holds the umbrella over the both of us while I quickly open the door. We are both extremely relieved upon entering the house, internally thanking myself for pre-setting the gas fireplace in my house to turn it on before I got home. 

"Follow me," I say, making my way to the living room. 

It was only then that I realized what I had just done. 

Did I just invite the one person I should not be alone with into my house…

It feels as if someone had just punched me in the gut. 

Shit, I just have to act natural. That shouldn’t be too hard, right?

Yeah, no, I began freaking out immediately. I rush her to the fireplace and sit her down in front before I sprinted to get her a blanket. Once getting back, I quickly hand her the blanket and crouch down next to her, shaking a bit. 

“Is there anything I can get you? Do you need a shower or anything?” I almost spewed the words out of my mouth.

"No, thank you, I'm fine, really," she said, looking up at me with the biggest eyes.

She is so gorgeous looking up at me, so thankful for making her feel good- wait.

"Uh, sir, I had a look at the grade on my paper and was wondering if you could take me through the paper and my mistakes," she asks, slightly embarrassed.

"Uh, of course".

I sat down beside her as she reached into her bag to pull out the wrinkled paper. She smoothed it out a bit before handing it to me. I took the paper and opened it to the first page. 

"You see, here, you used the first formula instead of the third and you don't have all the information needed for that one, so that's why you couldn't finish that question," she nodded a little at my statement.

I take her through all the questions and explain the mistakes she made and what she should have done instead.

"I feel like an idiot!" She says, smacking her hand over her face. 

"No, it's okay! Plenty of the students had trouble with this test!" I try to reassure her.

She sighed as she dropped her hands. 

"I just really want to pass the test, sir," she mumbled.

The sadness in her voice absolutely broke my heart. 

This is my chance to be a better teacher for her. 

"Uh, how would you feel about tutoring sessions? If you'd like, I could help you".

"Really?" She had a little sparkle in her eye.

"Of course, we could start tomorrow if you'd like?" 

"Oh my gosh, thank you, sir! You are the best teacher I could have asked for!"

I highly doubt that.

"Just doing my jobs," I say with a tight smile, trying not to let her praises get to my head.

“No, really sir, it means a lot”.

I’m not gonna survive one week.

Before either of us could say another word, all the lights shut off.

“Woah! What happened?” she asked, frightened by the sudden light change.

“Must be a power cut,” I say, standing up  to look out the window to see all the street lights off too. 

This weather is really testing my patience.

“How long do you think it will be like this?” she asks.

“I say at least another hour or so”.

I sighs a little.

“Come, sit down,” she scoots over a bit.

“W-what?” 

“Sit with me, you’re probably cold,” she said, patting the spot next to her.

She was right, I am cold.

I slowly approach her, not wanting to get too close. I lower myself, in front of the fireplace, next to her. 

Calm down, Bruno, it’s not a big deal.

That’s when she scoots a bit closer to me.

Fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fu-

“Are you married?” she suddenly asked.

That caused me to chock on my own saliva.

“Wh-aT?” my voice cracked.

“Are you married? Or seeing someone?” she asked again, as if it was nothing.

It was probably nothing, I’m just over dramatic.

I couldn’t speak, so I just shook my head. 

“Really?! How come?” 

“I-I don’t know, I guess no one really wants me”.

Wow, way to go and sound all desperate and lonely.

“I find that hard to believe, I’m sure you could get anyone you want”.

My face heats up, and it’s not from the fire.

Not when the person I want is my student.

The room goes quiet.

Come on, man, keep the conversation flowing!

“Are you seeing anyone?”

...You dumbfuck.

“No,” she answered, looking into the fire.

“Oh”.

OH!? OHH!? 

“What?” she giggled a bit.

“It’s just that-”

Don’t say it.

“I thought-”

Shut up!

“a beautiful girl like you-”

Don’t you dare!

“Might be dating someone”.

Do I have a death wish or something?

“Beautiful?” she looked at me with puppy eyes.

“W-well, yes,” I mutter, nervously.

She quickly looked away, her cheeks reddening a bit.

“Thank you,” she almost whispers.

We sit there, in silence, for a little bit. I then out of the corner of my eye watch her head start to droop a bit. When I turn to look at her, she falls onto me. My heart is completely freaking out.

Is she okay?! What happened?!

I don’t know how it took me that long to realise she just fallen asleep but man, my heart. 

“Uhh, Y/N?” I call quietly, not wanting to disturb her. 

She didn’t move, just snuggled in closer to me. I look down at her face, squished up against me. 

Well that one way to go into cardiac arrest.

What I’d give, just to kiss her once.

I slowly let my arms wrap around her body, moving her gently into a more comfortable position. I lay back on the coffee table behind me and stare into the artificial flames with the girl I’ve been infatuated by in my arms. 

⌛

It was around 8PM by the I woke up with her still in my arms.

I must of dozed off.

The light had come back on and the rain outside had significantly calmed down. I turn back to her about to wake her up but when I get a good look at her, everything in my body is telling me to let her rest. 

But I can’t, It’s wrong.

I slowly sit up a bit before lifting her off of me. I didn’t want to wake her while she was still on me, it was to save both of us from embarrassment.

“Hey, Y/N. You need to wake up now,” I whisper.

She tosses around a little, resisting me pleas. 

“Y/N”.

She begrudgingly lifts her head a little, a tired, pouty face. 

“You have to wake up now, the rain has calmed down”.

She sits there for a bit, trying to process my word. 

“What time is it?” she asks, rubbing her eyes.

“8ish, I’ll take you home now”. 

“Okay,” she said, as she slowly stood up and began a packing up all her things.

My heart sunk.

I don’t want her to leave.

“You got everything?” I asked.

She nodded and we went to the front door.

We rush to the car, avoiding the rain as much as possible. And with that, I take her home.

⌛

“Here we are!” she exclaims, much more awake than she was 20 or so minutes ago. 

“Thank you, sir. For everything,” she gives me the most delicate smile. 

“Of course, I’ll uh see you tomorrow,” I bid my farewell.

“See you tomorrow, Mr Madrigal, thank you!” 

She jumped out of the car and ran to the door. Before she entered, she turned back and waved. 

And there goes my bloody heart again.

I wave back and watched as she entered her house. 

⌛

Here I am again. In bed. Jerking off.

I can’t help the moans from spilling out of my mouth. I just couldn’t help myself. I had the blanket that she was wrapped in up to my face, trying to draw out all the scent I could get from it. My moans only grow louder at the smell. 

This time, she would be covered in drool, completely mind-fucked as I would ram into her cunt from behind. We would be on our side, with her pressed against my chest and a leg hanging over mine.

“M-m-m!” she would struggle to even whine.

“What was that darling? Talk properly”.

“M-More!” 

“More what?”

“M-more p-please, s-sir!” she’d manage.

The thought of her desperate, incoherent whines filled my brain, making it harder for me to hold back. 

I’d reach down with my hand to rub her clit and this would make her go ballistic. She would be so sensitive for me.

“Shit!”

I pump my cock faster in my hand, bucking my hips up at the same time. As I near my orgasm, I breathe in more of the blanket, trying to get every last bit of her I can get. 

“F-fuck!” 

My cum shot out of my dick and landed all over my stomach. A keep stroking, however, to get every last drop out.

It took me about 5 minutes just to calm down from that. And there I was covered in my own, perverted cum.

This time, I really need to shower. 

After a quick wash down, I make my way back to my bed, as miserable as ever. 

Why can’t I hold myself back around her? It’s wrong to feel like this.

And then I remember her smile when I offered to tutor her. That damn smile.

“Fuck me”.

-

Author Note: I will write this part also in the reader's POV because that was also requested in the previous parts comments. Also, if there are any kinks or anything like that that people would like to be added, feel free just to say down in the comments as well, because the next chapter (after the reader POV) will contain the real stuff ;)

I hope you had enjoyed this part and look forward to the next.

taglist: elfwoodfae diannaey rennaisancebaby

[ambivalent-anarchy]

Body

Part 1 of 2

Part 2

Masterlist

Gender: Female

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Warning: None

Anon requested- can I get a one shot where the reader does the body positivity trend with the new megan thee stallion song and the reader is insecure about how ppl will react to it?? Most importantly how peter will react to it?? K thanks

Awww I love doing smol readers and where Peter's actually the one that has it together lol sooo thanx for this

The TikTok is that new body positivity trend with that Megan Thee Stallion song. Couldn't link it because tumblr acts weird about links but part 2 will have a video for Peter. Also reader will be 18 (senior in high school) cuz some people think minors shouldn't participate in the trend lol

A/N: Either a motivation fairy hit me in the middle of the night or I'm really just that bored to the point where I had no choice but to get my motivation to write back. Either way I'm happy lol. Enjoy! Thanks to @yumings and @kelieah for helping me feel confident in this lol

Will definitely be a two parter🙂

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Body oddy oddy oddy oddy oddy oddy oddy-

You'd finally finished editing the video.

It was a simple, short collage of all of your favorite selfies and pictures that showed off your body well. There was a new trend going around on TikTok and when you saw it you just had to jump at it headfirst.

People would take their favorite pictures of themselves, ones that showed off their bodies just the way they liked, and they'd put it to the sound of Megan Thee Stallion's song "Body".

You looked through your entire phone gallery to find pictures that you were confident enough to post, some you'd forgotten you even took in the first place.

When you were done, you threw in the simple caption that everyone was using.

Heard we're using this sound to show off. My turn then😜

Yeahhhhhh, the caption sounded much more confident than you actually felt.

You actually thought about deleting it from the minute you posted it. Insecure wasn't even the word for it. And even with your followers there to hype you up, you couldn't help but feel self-conscious. So, albeit hesitantly, you went to your friends for support.

The first person you showed was Michelle.

"You killed that," she said in math class as she passed you the phone underneath the table so that the professor wouldn't see.

"Thanks," you said. "I was honestly kinda nervous about it." You noticed her incredulous look and explained yourself, toying with the loose strings on your jacket. "Like seriously, I don't wanna fish for compliments, it's just that there are so many better ones out there."

Michelle gave a lopsided grin. "That's just you being insecure, you dork," she retorted. "You look hot." She gave an uninterested glare at the teacher when they told her to be quiet. Then she turned towards you with a smile. "You shown Peter yet? I bet he'd agree."

You shifted in your seat nervously and MJ immediately caught on. "What, you don't wanna show him?" She gave you a look when you took a while to answer. "Dude he's literally your boyfriend. I'm pretty sure he'll like it."

"MJ, we haven't even-" you looked around secretively. "-we haven't even taken our shirts off in front of each other yet. There's literally a pic of me in my sports bra and I.." You shrugged, a little embarrassed by the conversation topic. "I-i just don't know how he'd react."

You and Peter were a fairly new couple and were taking it slow. You'd only ever kissed, cuddled, and held hands so far. Plus, you were a major causal clothes wearer. Sweatshirts and jeans, those were your specialty. The two of you were in no rush and you were both fine with that, but you had no idea how he would react to seeing pictures of you like that.

And, though it wasn't the most feminist approach, you kinda wanted to impress him. Was that so bad?

MJ, forever the voice of patronizing reason, rolled her eyes at you. "So, let me get this straight. You're not fine with your boyfriend seeing sexy pictures of you, but you're okay with literal strangers seeing you instead?"

"Look, I know it's-"

"No, no I totally get it," she said with a sympathetic smirk, before laughing. "I just wanted to show you how dumb it sounded though."

The bell rang, signaling the end of class.

"Look," she said, standing up and getting her things. "You have nothing to be worried about. Peter practically worships the ground you walk on. He'll love it."

When you showed Ned, he genuinely didn't give a shit.

"Oh my God, there's a new Megan Thee Stallion album?!"

"Uh, yeah."

"I have to listen to it right now!"

"Yeah okay, but do you like the-"

He was already plugging in his headphones before you even finished your sentence.

You showed Harry next. If anyone was gonna rate you unabashedly, it'd definitely be him.

He was the only friend you had in your lunch period, so you met up with him every day. Towards the end of lunch that day, you'll pulled out your phone and asked if he wanted to see the video. He enthusiastically agreed.

He watched the short video with an amused expression, bopping his head to the music all the while.

When it ended, he handed you your phone back and gave you a high-five. "Damn girl!," he praised. "Just throwing it out there, if Peter fails you, I'm hella available."

"Heh, thanks." You smiled as you felt your entire face heat up. "Ya think he'll like it?"

"What, you haven't shown him yet?" You shook her head, giving a nervous smile. "Oh-" he nodded confidently. "-he'll love it. Trust me."

"Are you sure?," you asked.

"Yeah," he responded with a shrug. "Why are you so worried?"

"Because he's not-..he doesn't really seem-" You couldn't find the right words for it. "I dunno, I just really want him to like it!"

Harry scoffed. "Look. Let me tell you a little secret about Peter Parker," he snickered. "Or practically all guys for that matter."

"Okay?," you said, curious as to where this was going.

He smirked. "You remember when he introduced himself to you at my party last summer?"

You nodded.

"Well, hon..." Harry lowered his head to where he was whispering in your ear. "Your personality wasn't what he was noticing from across the room.. catch my drift?" He chuckled when he saw you blushing as you caught where his eyes had wandered. "Just sayin'."

Seeing your incredulous expression, Harry continued. "Peter likes to act like he's not checking you out every second of the day, but I promise you he is. That little "I'm so respectful and bashful" crap he has going is complete B.S."

You smirked and rolled your eyes as he pulled away from your ear and kept walking. "You're an ass."

Harry shrugged. "True, but I'm a realistic ass." The alarm on his phone sounded which marked his time to start heading to his next class. Standing up, he smiled down at you. "Seriously, if I could take back all the time spent listening to Pete go on about how good you look in your jeans, I'd be one well rested guy."

You rolled your eyes, but it betrayed the small smile growing. After all, he wouldn't be Harry if he wasn't a flirtatious dweeb. "Bye Harry."

"Show him the video, [Y/N]. He'll love it. You know I'm right."

And then there was one...

Later in the day, you were talking with MJ after school, waiting because Peter always insisted on driving you home because chivalry was not going to die as long as he was alive to keep it going.

When he finally showed up, the first thing he did was take you by the hand and give you a quick peck on the forehead.

"How are you guys doing?," he asked as your little trio started to walk.

"We're good," you chirped, ever so conscious of the phone in your pocket that you were suddenly very hesitant to pull out.

MJ noticed and nudged you. "You got anything you wanna show anybody, [Y/N]?," she asked with a smirk, causing Peter to look at you curiously.

You stayed quiet, but MJ still wasn't putting up with it. "I think you may have a video that you made..."

You remained silent and Peter looked at you, a lot more confused now. MJ frowned. "Um... cough.. cough."

Peter laughed and stopped walking. "Okay, what am I missing?" He looked to you and when he didn't see your expression falter, he looked to MJ. "What's going on?"

Michelle shrugged. "[Y/N] wants to show you a dumb TikTok she made but she's scared about how you'll react."

"Michelle!," you scolded.

She shrugged again. "What? You weren't going to say anything anytime soon."

"A TikTok?," Peter questioned. "Cool, which one did you do this time?"

You could feel your face heat up for the hundredth time that day. "It's a...um.." You stared down at the ground. Jesus, this was hard. "..It's a body positivity trend."

His eyebrows went up at that. "Oh, well um.. is it cool if I see it?," he asked.

You blushed. "Sure." You pulled out your phone and opened the app. When you got to the video you quickly shoved it into his face before you had a chance to second-guess yourself.

Both you and Michelle watched Peter's face as he watched the video.

His cheeks immediately turned red but his expression was unreadable. He had to have watched it over 5 times before MJ pulled the phone out of his hand. "Helloooo, earth to Peter Parker?"

She snapped into his face several times and he started to blink wildly, apparently being pulled out of a trance. "I...um- heh.."

You gave a small, nervous smile. "..did you like it?," you asked, growing confused as stared at you, his expression still the same. "Um, Peter?"

Suddenly, he smiled and let out a little chuckle. "Sorry... just..." He laughed again and scratched his head, unable to keep eye contact. "You're just- like.... really hot."

You blushed. Fuck. "You're not just saying that are you?"

"No, really like-" He looked back at the phone. "...Damn." He bit his lip. "How on earth did I get so lucky?"

"Okay, can we please get in the car before I throw up?"

The two of you looked at an uncomfortable MJ with embarrassment riddled on your faces. "Yeah, totally," you said with an awkward cough. "Sorry."

"Nice video [Y/N]," Peter murmured bashfully, opening the door of his car for you, his face still beet red. "Really nice..."

Tagging: @allegra-writes, @allegra-soleil l, @yumings, @hey-its-grey, @spideyyeet, @sunkissedspidey, @tommyunderoos, @chaoticpete, @snarky--starky, @sovereignparker, @thesherlockianavenger, @bubblebucky, @eridanuswave, @ithoughtthiswastwitterbutfr , @kidney9-9, @gwenvrse

[castleofclouds]

7 Days A Week.

Genre ; Fluff, Slice of Life, Humor

Warning ; I'm writing this in the middle of midnight and I'm trying my best to used my last brain cells.

Summary ; A Story About you (fm reader), and your 7 dorks!

Part 1 ; Nostalgia.

Today is a normal day, nothing too different than the yesterday, except the way you started isn't by cliche way in which another character would wake up at exactly 7 AM in the morning to go to class.

Nope, you weren't doing that!

In fact, you are on your bed lying down, actually not really on top of your bed, kinda like a tent that was make with a blanket and pillows build just for the eight of you.

Yup! It's a slumber party! Surprise! How is it? Isn't it great to start it with a slumber party?

Anyway that...

"Can you stop talking?" Jeno said, currently getting irritated by how the narrator never stop telling things.

"Yeah! Like we don't need to hear it just get the spotlight down here!" Renjun remarks.

Those bastard! Anyway since the narrator felt attack I will leave it to you, take care of it.

"This is much more better!" Haechan exclaimed, feeling relief after the narrator leave.

The story telling was just too much for him.

"Anyway, how's you guys been doing?" You asked trying to change the topic.

"We been doing things that you do, except we are doing it our own way." Jisung said, being sarcastic as he should, Jaemin gasped.

"Did this baby just insulted someone?!" He overreacted, trying to tease Jisung.

"Can we stop with the baby joke? It's becoming to boring." Jisung said, even though he doesn't want that to stop, he love getting attention.

Tsundere.

"Shut it!" He shouted to the narrator at the corner of the room.

"We've been playing things like jenga and even that penguin escape." Renjun explains showing all the jenga and the penguin escape game being left alone in the corner of the tent.

"We should play something to take care of our boredom.." Mark sighed, he gets bored sometimes, but sometimes he doesn't understand how he is already 20 still love to make a tent and playing a card game, pretty sure he's just childish.

Seeing his child, Jaemin come up with a solution, it's sound like there's a lamp effect going around on top of his head.

"Aha! I got an idea!" He chirped happily, the 7 pair of eyes are lit by it.

"What is it?" You ask excitement going around your eye, you can't help it.

"Yeah yeah what is it?" Chenle said as excited as you, he hold your hands the both of you waiting for the great idea that Jaemin has.

"How about we talk about our high school life?" He said, thinking that it was the best idea he ever had.

Renjun sparkling eyes losses it's spark, now he's ready to throw some hands.

Poor boy was so happy, and either Chenle, he just want some fun, what should he hope for? It's Jaemin, Jeno best friend pretty sure Jeno teach him how to be a boomer like him.

"Seriously?! Are you being serious now?" Renjun said, getting annoyed.

Jaemin tilted his head, he thought it was a great idea, sadly not much people in here understand his efforts.

"Fine! Then come up with something nice!" He exclaimed, then Haechan start to act as if he's Sherlock from Sherlock's Holmes books series.

"Hmm... How about we talked about embarrassment that we had back in high school!" He shouted, giving his almost the same kinda idea that Jaemin just gave.

Jaemin was ready to complain how his idea sounds just like him but then he heard a lot of agreement going around.

"Not you to Jeno!" He said disbelieved how Jeno was quick to betray him.

He should have thought much before he make a deal with all of this dumbass.

"I'm sorry Jaemin, but Haechan Idea seems very interesting!" Jeno said, Jaemin felt the urge to choked his friend but he try to calm.

He isn't Renjun who are always thirst by blood and will always be the one who ready to pick a fight, he had an image and he need to keep doing it, because it's his Ninja Way! As in Naruto.

"Jaemin everyone can hear you thoughts." Renjun said, which made the boy flustered.

"Sorry, my bad." He said, excusing himself to the toilet feel ashamed.

"You don't need to go, we just start the story." You said, didn't want Jaemin to miss any of the great story that are waiting to unfold.

Jaemin who found out that you cared a lot about him, move pass Haechan who previously sit next to you.

"Hmm.. YN finally give me the attention that I deserved!" He exclaimed exclusively, while cling onto your arm like there's no tomorrow.

You pushed his head a little bit, you don't really like skinship, you are fine with some of them, but sometimes Jaemin way of affection is too much, let alone Jisung who had to endure it everytime he met Jaemin.

"How is it feel?" Jisung asked you, more like a whisper.

"Not fun, thank you." You stated calmly, while still trying to get away from Jaemin, the boy tightens his hold to your arm, his other arm are already at your waist.

Well, you gave up in the end.

"You can't get out mwaahaha!" He shouted while laughing evilly.

"Anyway let me start!" You said, taking all of the attention you get inside the room, even the narrator going closer.

What could be the interesting story you has?

"So.. I knew how all of you were very sensitive about this topic, well not really if you aren't Jaemin." You explained, Jaemin ears perked hearing his name.

"Oohhh.. What is it?" Haechan who heard the summary of your story is very excited.

"Remember how, back when we were an elementary students there are a new substitute teacher for our class?" You continue, everyone nodded their head.

But then by the power of Mark brain cell, he discovered it way faster than the other, when it comes to elementary school there's a lot of embarrassment going around the 8 of you.

And that thing is one them.

"Don't tell me.." He mumble.

"Yup! How can I forgot Miss Kang? That one teacher who made Mark, Jeno and Haechan going berserk, or you can say first love?" You smiling evilly seeing how the three mentioned boy getting shy, their ears turn to red.

"Miss Kang? Ohh yeah yeah! I remember!" Chenle chirped happily, of course he remembered.

"Yeah I knew.." Jisung whispered.

"Wait I forgot how Jisung falling for Miss Kang, it's very cute I swear!" This time you went overboard.

How back in the day, Jisung would always smiling everytime Miss Kang give him a compliment, even Mark who hated math learn it just to get noticed by Miss Kang.

Haechan would always try to point his hand toward the air, just to asked a question, and acting like he doesn't know anything when he's always the first one who knows how to finish math homework, Jeno the typical nerd he is always try to be the best students, just so he can see how Miss Kang proudly talking about him in front of the class.

And Renjun, the one who are being oblivious, that guy would always prepared an apple just for Miss Kang exclusively from his uncle farm.

Chenle in the other hand, doesn't understand a thing back in the day, he just follow everything that his friends doing, pretending like he do have a crush to while in fact he wasn't.

"Omg! Really? they did that?!" Jaemin gasped, and while getting second hand embarrassment when he heard about the story.

"Yeah, sadly you have can't join us to see how cute and naive they were, Jisung is the cutest one, poor boy was so happy because he got 97 in Math Exam to impress Miss Kang, but doesn't know that she's already married at that time." You said, ruffled Jisung hair who looked very gloomy.

"It's not my fault, I don't know that, Mark didn't tell me about it." He protests, Mark eyes turn big.

"What?! It's not my fault, Miss Kang was so beautiful I can't help to fell for her." He said taken aback.

"Anyway that was pretty fun, seeing how naive you guys were." You said finishing your story.

"Wait wait, you guys remember how Jisung literally almost burned down the laboratory?

"Omg yes!" Haechan shout happily, he remember every part of it.

"Yeah, we almost burned it if it weren't because of Jaemin smartass we would already getting sued."

That time, in a chemistry class, Jisung, Renjun, You and Jaemin were partnered to do some experiments but because of Jisung clumsy hands.

The laboratory almost burned to the ground, thankfully Jaemin who are fortunately know how to stop the fire before it become out of hands.

"Yeah yeah, I remember how literally Renjun just watching it while shouting about how he's afraid of the fire, Jisung already crying and Yn is the only one who help Jisung calmed down." Jaemin explains about the situation.

Probably that's why the 8 of you always labeled as the trouble maker back when you were still in elementary school, you know how basically every teacher hope the 8 of you ever getting transferred to another school.

Even how Mr. Ben always try to make you guys got expelled because the man are too tired to babysit, how Mark always chewed a gum on his class, even Jeno who are very obedient sometimes get out of his comfort zone because of how the 7 of you always whispering evil plan to his ears.

Anyway there's still a lot of story being told that night, you stayed up late as always other than Jisung who already falling asleep on top of Jeno shoulder.

"Well I guess we should be sleeping at this hour, Jisung seems very tired." Jeno said, while looking at his left side of shoulder.

"Yeah we should, I want to sleep next to YN jinx!" Chenle exclaimed, you nodded your head, he bopping his head excited.

Not even an hour later, the eight of you are already falling asleep, being in the most comfortable position ever.

Good night!

The narrator leave the room.

Previous / Next.

A/N ;

Okey I found this being one of the cutest thing I ever wrote, anyway, it's already morning.. Actually afternoon but you don't hear it from me, I always love this type of story actually.

Btw this story has a concept of like how the tv series showed? Like episode 1 might not be the same like how episode 2 will be so yeah, there's a whole new story everytime, and I take request.

This has something to do with NTC story, the difference is based on how this is basically a spin off, how they are best friend with you and that's is the main focus of the story.

Prepare for more fluff and humor I try my best to include it, but yeah anyway not everyday is a happy story.

See you next time! 😃 ps. I probably will upload more of 7DAW than NTC because of how I got a little bit confused on NTC.

Tag ;

[acadimia]

After making a grand total of 11 cheatsheets since starting university less than a year ago (I know, my uni is weird), I wanted to share some of my tips and tricks for making the most effective cheatsheet for your needs! They're a hassle to make, but depending on how you make yours, it could either be an incredibly useful resource or just an extra sheet of paper on your desk.

(By "cheatsheet", I mean a typically printer paper-sized memory aid, usually handwritten, that is allowed to be brought into an exam.)

1. You don’t need to write small, nor do you need to write a lot.

Some people go out of their way to buy 0.1mm pens to cram everything they can onto a cheatsheet. But okay, hear me out: unless you plan on using your cheatsheet to study (more on this later), what is the point of writing as much as you can? It is super difficult to find the exact piece of information that you need in the stressful environment of an exam, especially when you’ve written in the equivalent of size 4 font and your page is cluttered with information you definitely know . And honestly, for most exams, it’s a waste of time trying to look at your cheatsheet. Just put down whatever you’ll definitely need; the rest will only slow you down or overwhelm you.

2. Use colours, or at least find some way to keep it organized.

Once again, you need to spend as little time as possible looking at your cheatsheet in an exam. If the exam allows cheatsheets, the class probably has something else to up the difficulty level of exams. In my experience, it’s usually either application questions or a time crunch, sometimes both. So, make your cheatsheet efficient. Colour-code it so you know what to look for in order to find any given piece of information. Find some sort of format, so that you also know where exactly to look.

3. Don’t wait until last minute to make it. If it comes to that point, just put down the major points and sleep.

There are so many reasons why you shouldn’t do this. Just trust me, my lowest exam marks are from exams where I made a cheatsheet the night before. You shouldn’t be staying up the night before your exam. Copying the textbook onto a sheet of printer paper isn’t effective studying. Most importantly, your cheatsheet becomes so much more effective when you’ve actually done practice exams with it. Or else, how would you know how well it actually functions and what else you should add?

4. It doesn't need to be perfect.

Please don’t spend too much time on your cheatsheet. Obviously, interpret this advice based on practice exams and the scope of whatever course you're taking, but don't get to a point where you're relying on your "perfect" cheatsheet to pass the exam. Instead, spend your time studying the material and question formats so that you almost don't need your cheatsheet. No matter how informative or detailed your cheatsheet is, it won't matter if you don't have time to use it during the exam, or if you haven't done enough practice so you don't know how to format the cheatsheet's information.

5. Don’t worry about what everyone else is doing.

I think this goes without saying for practically anything, really. Just do you. If the prof says you’re allowed a single piece of printer paper, front and back, it doesn’t mean that you need to fill that. Nor does it mean that you should be intimidated when you walk into the exam and see that you’re the only person who hasn’t filled up your cheatsheet completely. Do whatever you need to succeed. If spending a few extra hours cramming information onto your cheatsheet won’t help you, then don’t do that. If it will, then don’t let me and my opinions stop you.

1. For the stuff that you actually don’t know and isn’t worthwhile to memorize

This is pretty obvious, but you should prioritize the stuff that you actually don’t know and is too difficult to memorize. For example, the 20 amino acids for Biology. 

2. Diagram compilation

Personally, I think that the most useful thing you can do with your cheatsheet is to add diagrams and charts. They are the easiest thing to find on your cheatsheet. Also, diagrams are able to sum up a whole list of details, so you don’t need to worry about missing something. It is always useful to refer to your diagrams for inspiration!

3. Checklist

What are the three points you need to include to describe a histogram? What steps does the prof want you to do to show autosomal dominance? If you are someone who often loses marks because of missing details or the way you format your answers, your cheatsheet can function as a checklist. Write down exactly what you need to address to get full marks on certain types of questions.

4. Personalized formula sheet

If you are anything like me (ie. I am so afraid of Math that I chose not to major in Biochemistry just so I don't have to do Calc III), then writing out some formulas in the way that you like them written might be useful, even if you are given a formula sheet. It's a comfort thing.

5. Study guide

As a heads up, this is the only situation where I would condone writing as much as possible on your formula sheet. If you're the type of person who studies by copying out your notes (ie. you memorize things by writing them out), then you might as well kill two birds with one stone and just copy your notes onto your cheatsheet. But, then again, your cheatsheet will probably be less functional during the exam, so do this at your own discretion.

Here are two of my own cheatsheets, to illustrate some of my points. The first one is for Biology, the second one is for Statistics. 

I don’t keep a consistent colour code, but generally, red is for categories or units, blue is for definitions or important terms, and blue underline is for things I commonly forget or refer to (ie. the 4 factors affecting membrane fluidity). The units follow the order that we learned them in class. Although I tend to write small and there is a lot more information than strictly necessary, I can easily find anything I’m looking for.

Here’s the bottom line: do whatever is the most useful for you!! These are just a few things that have worked for me and some people around me, but do whatever will help you succeed.

Happy studying, everyone!

[traincat]

I've been ranting to my friends about Johnny being abused and raped recently and one of them said: Lyja has damaged and put an element of distrust into every relationship he may ever have. which is really fucking me up and I wanted to share in part bc I don't wanna be sad alone and also bc I think that's an interesting side effect of Lyja's time in his life that doesn't get talked about enough

Thank you for sharing this because the thing is I do think there is a very definite divide in how Johnny acts particularly in regards to relationships before and after his marriage to “Alicia.” I doubt this was entirely intentional on the parts of the writers who handled the book after, but I’ve said before that I think after a certain amount of time and with enough stories behind them characters tend to take on a life of their own, and even if the writers are hesitant to address it there’s no way an event like his relationship with Lyja couldn’t have deeply effected Johnny.

Simply put: I don’t think “playboy Johnny” exists before Lyja. I don’t buy into “playboy Johnny” much as a general phenomenon, because if you actually look at the canon there’s just not much to actually back it up, but he certainly has at periods played into this public (both in and out universe) perception of himself. What I mean is, pre-Lyja, there is absolutely no proof Johnny had ever engaged in casual sex. (There’s actually no proof he wasn’t a virgin when Lyja began working her way into his life while masquerading as Alicia; this panel from Fantastic Four #275 is the first time Johnny having sex is addressed:

That shirt is Johnny’s – you see him wearing it the issue leading up to this one. To be clear, there’s nothing in the issue that supports this being Johnny’s first time, either – it’s just that he doesn’t have any sex scenes prior. Either way, this is not the reaction of someone who had a good time.)

Pre-the Alilyja incident, Johnny had a grand total of three relationships: Dorrie Evans in high school, Crystal Amaquelin, Frankie Raye. He had a few dates with a girl named Lorrie Melton who called things off with him because he was more serious than she wanted to be, and shared a whole one kiss with a girl named Valeria from the Fifth Dimension (no relationship to his future niece). He also briefly pursued a girl named Julie Angel, who blatantly wasn’t interested in him. When Julie’s friend Sharon came onto him during this period, he reacted with discomfort:

(Fantastic Four #259)

So, playboy Johnny Storm, a womanizer who sleeps around – he doesn’t exist in canon at this point. (If anything, Johnny repeatedly reacts negatively to being kissed suddenly and without his permission leading up to and during the marriage.) Then you have the marriage, which happens fairly quickly – Johnny and Alicia’s relationship is “cemented” in FF #275, they get married in FF #300. I want to note that Johnny’s pretty young when he gets married, especially by modern standards – you have to do the Spider-Man math with this one, since Johnny’s age at this point in canon isn’t stated, but he and Peter both get married at roughly the same time. We know that they’re roughly the same age, Johnny being 16 when he got his powers and Peter being 15 and these things happening fairly closely together. Peter comments very shortly after he’s married that he’s been out of high school for five years, which would make both him and Johnny roughly 23 when they respectively tied the knot. Alicia is labeled during Byrne’s run as three years older than Johnny, but it should be noted that Byrne has a habit of making women younger and putting them in relationships with much older men – which would track if it’s his opinion Alicia first met Ben when she was 19. (It’s my personal belief that she should be older than that, but that’s neither here nor there.) We have no idea how old Lyja is in comparison to Johnny. So he’s young, and the relationship escalates very quickly, which, looking at it with the retcon in place, makes sense, because Lyja is on a mission to infiltrate the Fantastic Four. So it’s quick. The marriage, the Skrull reveal, and the ensuing melodrama lasts… a while after that. 

Then the big reset button that was Heroes Reborn got hit after Fantastic Four #416 and Johnny and family were shunted off to a pocket universe for a little bit, sans Lyja. Fantastic Four v2 is the first look we get at a more playboy-ish Johnny Storm in line with, say, the Chris Evans version of the character – older when the accident hits instead of being a fresh-faced teen, a bit irresponsible, comes off a little bit like he might be a dog. But this reboot canon can’t really keep it up: it reunites Johnny and Crystal temporarily, and then everyone gets snatched out of their alternate reality bubble and planted back in their regular timeline anyway. 

So let’s look at Johnny’s relationships after his marriage:

1) Alysande “Caledonia” Stuart: A young woman Johnny found and rescued in another dimension who lived with the Fantastic Four for a while. I’m including this even though it isn’t strictly a romantic relationship – Johnny appears to have feelings for Alsyande, but it’s unclear if they’re reciprocated or if she just feels a deep debt of loyalty to him for rescuing her. Either way, I really like how this relationship is handled; they’re both very respectful of each other in a way that’s missing from a lot of Johnny’s actual romantic relationships. They definitely didn’t have sex. 

2) Namorita Prentiss: The first actual romantic relationship Johnny has post-Lyja. This one’s another weird one; Johnny and Namorita first get together after teasing the paparazzi and commiserating about being famous. They then proceed to spend next to no time together. Seriously, like, to the point where the books remarks on it:

(Fantastic Four v3 #55)

Johnny and Namorita do do things like attend celebrity functions together, so I label this as Johnny’s first “publicity” relationship – less about being in love, and more about him and the other party looking really good together for the public eye. (This is also something he never did before his marriage.) Anyway, they break up off panel, although Johnny did apparently ask Nita to move in with him at one point, which she refused.

Kourtney: A second and much more prominent “publicity” relationship. Kourtney is a supermodel who we’re first introduced to when she breaks up with Johnny when the Fantastic Four go broke and he falls out of public favor. They do get back together for the duration of Marvel Knights 4, and then they apparently break up again. Nothing to write home about in this relationship – she and Johnny don’t really appear to actually like each other all that much, especially on her end. 

We enter a relationship deadzone for Johnny as we hit Waid’s run. He starts it off apparently shaking off a bad celebrity breakup, and while he goes a bit moony-eyed over a few pretty girls at the beginning, basically nothing happens. He at one point meets up with a girl from the internet who claims to be a fan of his and things seem like they might get romantic… except his body language really is screaming the opposite:

Fantastic Four #514 – I’m not saying how much of this was intentional or even what the intent was, but if there’s something a comic book artist should be good at conveying, it’s body language. Here Cole’s is aggressive – leaning in, touching his face – and Johnny’s is closed off – hands in his pockets, leaning away from her. It’s just interesting if we’re supposed to believe he’s hot for this girl.

Anyway, Cole turns out to be the Wizard’s daughter, catfishing Johnny to find a solution for her unwanted superpowers. So. That lasts two issues and nothing happens between them.

Psionics: And now we enter Millar’s run. Millar’s run is probably the biggest contributor to Playboy Johnny – not only does he have an ill-advised sexual affair with a superpowered bank robber named Psionics, he also gets walked in on – apparently – about to have a threesome with two girls cosplaying as Storm and the Scarlet Witch. I’ve had a problem with the cosplay scene for a while now, because it just doesn’t fit with Johnny’s 616 personality. Something about it has always felt very off. And while I could just go “well it’s Mark Millar,” it occurred to me on a recent reread what’s wrong with it: it feels staged. Johnny’s in the middle of filming a reality show; the camera crew is who walks in on him. If he was trying to cultivate this playboy image, well, one way to do it is to make sure you’re walked in on in a compromising situation. He and the girls are all still fully clothed, and he actually ditches the scene as soon as they’re discovered – to congratulate Ben on his engagement, but still – while the girls frankly seem more interested in each other. It’s a weird scene still, but there’s nothing in it either way to say he was or wasn’t setting it up to make it look like he was the kind of womanizing carefree celebrity party boy who has threesomes with hot cosplay girls while not actually doing that.

As for Psionics, the hot bank robber he sleeps with? Well, turns out her family from the future kidnaps him and uses him as a giant power battery in a machine that has a good chance of killing him. No bad feelings or anything, though.

Again with the awkward body language. He certainly just stands there while she kisses him. This is the exact opposite of smoldering passion. Also, next time he sees her she tries to kidnap his niece, kills his longtime family friend Alyssa Moy in front of him, and then gets murdered right before his eyes. So. That all happened.

He has one apparent would’ve-been one night stand in Hickman’s run after this, except she turns into a bunch of bug monsters and activates the Negative Zone portal. He also has a highly implied brief sexual relationship with Daken Akihiro at this point, who… uses that connection to make Johnny feel horribly guilty over Daken’s apparent death and then so Daken can steal a weapon from the Fantastic Four. There’s a weird pattern here.

Darla Deering: The last and most recent of Johnny’s publicity relationships – Johnny starts seeing Darla, a major pop star, sometime after his experiences in the Negative Zone. This is another “they’re in a relationship but they don’t spend any time together” fling, too – at the end of the relationship, when Darla’s gotten together with Scott Lang, Johnny actually admits that he liked dating Darla because of Darla’s celebrity lifestyle more than he liked her. 

Here we hit Robinson’s run. Johnny does a lot of partying after he’s lost his powers, and while it’s not explicit, there’s something of an implication during this point that he is sleeping around. However, his most serious relationships in this run are with his family, Wyatt Wingfoot, and Peter Parker, and he has no consistent romantic partner. 

Which brings us to his last serious relationship: Medusa. This one’s a weird one, too, and it’s one where I’m not hesitant to blame the writer’s lack of research at all when Medusa and Johnny were genuinely very close during her stint on the Fantastic Four team. It’s clearly a placeholder relationship – we know Black Bolt/Medusa were going to get back together. If anything, I think here Johnny’s holding onto a piece of his then-missing family the only way he knows how.

So, a couple of relationships post-marriage, but by in large, with the exception of Namorita where we see hardly any of their actual relationship on page and perhaps Medusa, nothing serious. Certainly nothing like his impassioned “head over heels” falls for Crystal and Frankie Raye. So there’s very definitely a change in Johnny after Lyja and in how he behaves in romantic relationships – the implication that he does have casual sex, the uptick in relationships that are clearly for the public eye, a lack of a previously held deep devotion to his partner. I think you could make a really good case for all this coming about as a result of lingering and unaddressed trauma from Lyja. 

There’s also, and this isn’t explicitly romantic, the appearance of this little quizzing game:

(Fantastic Four: Secret Invasion) This actually is Lyja in her only appearance since FF #416, disguised as Sue and trying to convince Johnny that Ben is a Skrull for… well for nothing good, obviously, but the book never actually gets into why she’s attempting to separate Ben from Johnny, except that separating him from his family is exactly what she tried to do before she was discovered to a be a Skrull during their “marriage.” But it’s telling that when Johnny feels like something isn’t right, he immediately starts quizzing “Sue” about things she should know. Definitely seems like the kind of game someone who unwittingly married and was abused by a shapeshifter would invent to make sure that the people in his life are really who they’re supposed to be.

So I definitely think there’s a lot of lingering trauma there that, if a really good writer dug into it, could inform a lot about both the romantic relationships he had after that point and his romantic future, especially if it was paired with a story where he explores his romantic feelings for men. It’d be interesting to see it doubled up with doubts after his relationship with Daken in that regard, since Daken also used him to gain access to the Fantastic Four. I’d love to see it all really gotten into and actually, for the first time, addressed, especially if it was in the context of a romantic relationship with Wyatt Wingfoot, who was present during the early days of Lyja’s seduction of Johnny and is also who Johnny ran to after he discovered the truth about the monster Lyja told him was their child. A lot of history to get into there.

[ladala99]

I'm heading back over to Wolvden next week and I am preparing now!

This is a big reminder post for my sake of what I do that's different from regular Wolvden gameplay. I'm writing this stuff for my reference so some of it's going to not have a lot of context. It's mostly just to get it all in one post so I don't have to go digging.

((Note as always, the Wolvden Democracy Calculator is entirely my own doing and does not reflect normal Wolvden gameplay. Other mechanics I describe below are my own ruleset to limit gameplay.))

Rank

The Pack Leader has a rank of 4.

The Pack Leader’s Mate has a rank of 3.

The Pack Leader’s pups have a rank of 2.

Other wolves (siblings of Pack Leader, mates of pups) have a rank of 1.

This is how many votes they have each vote.

Home Tile Weirdness

Leader can only Explore places adjacent to the home biome. If I want to Explore somewhere else, I'll need to move the whole pack.

Scouts can only Scout areas adjacent to the home biome (though can rescout anywhere). I will need to move to fill out the map.

Hunting I guess should also be in adjacent areas.

Always return to home biome during Autumn through Spring.

Herbalist-specific stuff

The Herbalist will start with 100% healing points, just to give it a name, each day. The Herbalist can only cure as long as they have healing points left.

The first cure of any illness takes 100%, so to start off, a novice Herbalist can only cure one illness a day.

Each time the Herbalist cures an illness, they get better at curing that illness, and it’ll take half the healing points it took before to cure it next time. So the first Open Wound takes 100%, the second 50%, the third 25%, and so on. I might use fractions instead of percentages just for easier math.

Democracy

Decisions will be run over the weekends like on the Lioden fight calculator, for each season's Hunting/moving and Lunar event if either are happening the next week. When I come back to Wolvden, the next week will be a Lunar Event and it will turn Summer in two days, so I need to roll for both of those (as well as what I'm doing in Spring).

What Rolls with New Pups

Hunting preference for the season: Largest Prey, 50% catch chance, 30% catch chance (even chance for each option). 1/3 chance no opinion, 1/3 chance weak opinion, 1/3 chance strong opinion.

Lunar event preference: Bases, Decor, Eyes, Markings, Claws/Skin/Nose (even chance each option). 1/3 chance no opinion, 1/3 chance weak opinion, 1/3 chance strong opinion.

Favorite Biome: home biome, randomly-chosen non-home biome (even chance for each option). 1/3 chance no opinion, 1/3 chance weak opinion, 1/3 chance strong opinion.

Focus: Not a roll - choose it yourself and make it different each wolf.

Breeding Preference: 9/10 straight; 1/10 randomly roll whether gay, bi, or ace. Gay=same-sex Pair Bond; Bi=any Pair Bond; Ace=may have Pair Bond, may not, will never breed. Not democracy-related, but pair bond related. Non-canon wolves chosen to be mates will not roll; they'll be whatever's most convenient.

Breeding Origin: 3/4 from non-canon hunters, 1/4 NBW

Speaking of, Mate Choices

Runner is this generation's mate's mother. Runner's pups/NBWs will form their own parallel hunting team. Pair bonds will be set once the canon pups become 4 years old, at which point they can start having pups of their own (if able).

This hunting team will be in flux until the Pair Bonds are set, being the best NBWs and best pups of Runner, matching up to the canon wolves' preferences.

What happens next generation to the non-leader lines?

Depends if the leader has/can have pups! If they do, the rest of the pack gets phased out (usually Chased) so their pups take over. If not, other young wolves in the pack will fill out the roles and be treated as if they were the pack leader's pups.

How long will this generation last?

If my math's right, assuming I take no breaks it'll go until late October. Which means I'll miss the Wolvden November event again. But also means I get a chance at some Lioden October stuff, which I missed last year. (I took a break from both sites around the end of the year.)

[kestrel-tree]

*Sorry for the wall of text, let me know if you want a shorter answer*

#1 MAKE IT OFFICIAL

If you haven't already, getting your disabilities officially on record with the school can help a lot. Teachers who care will have a lot more leeway to bend rules for you without worrying about accusations of favouratism. Teachers who don't care will have official policies saying it's illegal for them to be assholes.

Depending on your location the process for doing this will be different. In Canada it's called an IEP (individual education plan) and in the USA I think it's called a 504 plan? Either way you'll need some kind of doctors note. Once that's in place you can set up accommodations. That might be things like getting extensions on assignments, writing tests in a different room so you can get up and stretch in the middle, etc.

#2 USE YOUR ACCOMMODATIONS!!!

Don't question whether having a migraine is *really* bad enough to ask for another day on an essay. Don't avoid using your elevator key because you can *technically* get up the stairs if you push yourself.

A task doesn't have to be physically impossible for you to say you can't do it. If something is going to harm you *which includes causing you pain* it's ok to say no. And it isn't weak or giving up, it's being responsible with your health.

#3 ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS

Regardless of how many accommodations you get, stuff is going to be hard. Including stuff that's supposedly easy for other people. Most people are not going to recognize the effort you put into everyday stuff like just showing up, so it's extra important that you recognize it yourself. Be proud of yourself based on the *effort* you put in, not based on the effort it would take someone else. If you got a D- on a assignment you did while sleep deprived and in agony, you're allowed to be proud of yourself for not just skipping it.

#4 REWARDS

Highly recommend implementing some kind of small treat after every doctors appointment. In general anyone I know with chronic health issues has anxiety inducing and frustrating healthcare experiences. So if you aren't going to get that feeling of satisfaction naturally, you need to outsource some dopamine so you don't feel like giving up.

If your family is on board that could be something like takeout or getting to pick dinner. If not could be downloading a new free game on your phone or getting one random thing at the dollar store.

#5 JUST DO A BAD JOB ON STUFF 🙃

Ignore all advice about never half assing things. Perfectionism is a huge obstacle to academic success. A bad mark is *always* better than a zero. Couldn't get an assigment done on time? Hand it in late. Feeling overwhelmed by your math homework? Do half of it. Same goes for non-school things like laundry etc.

#6 YOU DON'T HAVE TO PRETEND TO BE OK ALL THE TIME

Have a nap on the floor. Do stretches in the middle of lunch. Carry a heating pack around and plug it into a wall in the middle of class. It's not hurting anyone.

I get that being the weird person grimacing in pain all the time is not the dream high school experience, and it extra sucks when you dont have a simple concrete diagnosis to explain things to nosy/concerned people, but if you aren't being bullied and have accepting friends you can really improve your day by just doing what's best for you intead of what's typical.

#7 HIGH SCHOOL SUCKS

You may have heard someone say 'these are the best days of your life' or 'enjoy it while it lasts' or 'wait until until you see how hard the real world is'.

That attitude can take a huge toll on your mental health when you feel like you're missing out on your only chance at being happy because of illness. Fortunately, it's bullshit.

Adults are *nostalgic* about high school; no one *actually* wants to be a teenager again. Find the silver linings and enjoy them, but don't stress about losing your best years because life is generally uphill from here. Source: I'm 30, still disabled, and so much happier than I was 5 or 10 or 15 years ago.

hi. once again begging for advice as to how to survive high school while physically disabled (chronic pain specifically). looking it up on tumblr only gives me advice abt adhd. looking it up on google only gives me advice on how to take care of disabled children. please. send any advice you may have. im exhausted.