#last post before winter break is over... oh how i'll miss it

[nono-uwu]

Really rough and minimally colored demon Ky sketches bc why not

Kept his clothes simple and based on his human/early vampire attire bc idk

Also I think he should be a horrible influence on Mitsu

[hopelesslyromanticshark]

hi hi hi!

first and foremost, I MISSED YALL SO MUCHHHHH!! you've all welcomed me back so warmly, I don't even feel like I left in the first place!!

instead of reply to everyone's lovely and sweet messages in the comments of my last post, i've decided to cover all my bases with a new post!

so...a few life updates!

i've just started my second (!) semester of college in BOSTON! i love this city more than i thought i would and i'm so beyond grateful to be here. though, i have been settled with an evil and demented child as a roommate and she goes out of her way to make my life hellish but i've stopped letting her get to me (as much as i can, anyways).

i'm still a journalism major, happily with an english minor that might be turned into a double major depending on a few things. I'm a part of my school's newspaper and i'm getting published weekly. oh! and because of my dedication to the paper, within my first semester they promoted me the editor of the opinion section! so, overall, loving school and beyond grateful to be getting an education.

i've decided to make a comeback because, over winter break, i started re-reading the books. and i FLEW through them. which isn't all that surprising as i'm a college student and they were written with middle schoolers in mind. but, i completely fell back in love with every aspect of it. which made me realize how much i missed this part of my life too!

now, again, i'm a college student who is heavily involved with her school newspaper. I already do enough writing to make me almost (not quite) hate it lmao. so, posting will be about as sporadic as before! nothing new on that front lmao-

anyways, my current plan is to give the page a bit of a refresh. maybe i'll go through requests but i've got 40 of 'em rn, so idk if i want to just delete them all and start fresh or go through and write the ones i feel like??? idk idk still deciding. I'm also going to be taking this slow because I think part of the reason i disappeared was because i kinda burnt myself out. so we're gonna try and avoid that this time around!!

all in all, i cannot wait to get back into the swing of things and i'm so happy to see so many familiar faces along with new ones!

from the bottom of my heart, thank you for having me back !!

all my love,

covey

[moongurl95]

My Chaos and Revelry

Obviously inspired by 'But Daddy I Love Him' from TS' new album - TTPD has left my mind broken enough to think this song is totally Seb-coded the first time I heard it. Also to the Swifties who grew up from 'Love Story', this one's for us! Divider credits here and here

Summary: “But, daddy, I love him!” I tried to make him hear me out –

“A mere boy from your school could never –“

“I’m having his baby!”

You’d be able to hear a pin drop at the ensuing silence that followed.

In which Sebastian is our wild boy and MC is just tired of all the bitching and moaning.

(One-shot also posted on AO3)

“You, young lady, have no shame!”

I couldn’t care less how scandalized her voice sounded, not giving her a chance to button up my dress as I ran barefoot out my bedroom, the wooden floorboards loudly announcing my presence as I neared.

“You can’t keep me caged here all winter! In a few months’ time I’ll be graduating from Hogwarts with the highest of honors – Please…” His gaze, so much like my own looked at me with such utmost patience as he let out a sigh –

“What a mess.” The firm grasp of hands on my shoulders from behind felt all too eager to take me back to my bedroom – my prison since I came home for Christmas break.

“Be a dutiful daughter and just follow your mother –“

“Sarah is NOT my mother!” I glared over my shoulder to see the woman, who my father married after his first wife’s untimely demise, clutch at her pearls – those were MY mother’s pearls.

“That is enough from you –“

“But, daddy, I love him!” I tried to make him hear me out –

“A mere boy from your school could never –“

“I’m having his baby!”

You’d be able to hear a pin drop at the ensuing silence that followed, the looks on my father and stepmother’s faces had me biting at my lip to keep from bursting out laughing – I wasn’t, yet, in any way – though he only took my anxious state as a sign that I may not be joking.

“Sarah – please, if you could be a dear.” I watched my father find the nearest chair to sit himself as I let myself be led back to my room, almost regretting my impulsive choice of words, but I wouldn’t stand to be ripped away from who my heart truly wants.

“Isn’t she the Baron’s daughter? Quite precocious I hear, must have high hopes of marriage for her?”

“Yes, well, that was before she went off to that boarding school in Scotland –“

The hall now felt suffocating with the scent of wine as I moved towards the nearest terrace, closing my eyes against the judgemental creeps while willing their sanctimonious soliloquies into nothing but white noise – wasn’t today supposed to be the best of Sundays? Christmas day, no less.

My hands were now twitching to pull my hair out of its woven braid, oh how I missed flying through the Highland winds, wildly whipping tendrils of my locks to his face as he pulled me closer to his warmth –

“There you are, and here I thought you’d be spending the holidays at the school like you usually did the last two years.”

“Hannah.” I opened my eyes and levelled the other with a stare – I was initially glad to have seen a familiar face in Hogwarts, especially in the same House – Anyone could be a snake, yet I was too late to realize that it takes a certain kind of person to be a viper.

“I was right to tell Aunt Sarah how you should stay away from him, honestly!” She moaned out as if in empathy of my situation, “All these promising marriage proposals and you choose a – a wild boy from some poor town in the Highlands!” Hannah had stood beside me by the balustrade which only gave me a chance to speak to her clearly.

“I'll tell you something about my ‘good name’, Hannah, it's mine alone to disgrace.” I made sure she was able to take in my words even though she now looked back at me as if I’ve gone crazy, “I'd rather burn my whole life down than have it laid out in a plan for me.” I was sure to have left her there with her mouth agape.

That night, on the last hours of Christmas day, I stared forlornly out my now grated window, wishing – hoping for a miracle to take me away from here and be back at Hogwarts just to be wrapped in strong freckled arms and drown in a pair of brown bedroom eyes…

Though just after I sighed away my woes did I hear something metallic attach to the grill that blocked my window, I didn’t have time to inspect it amidst the dark when the bars that forced my isolation were loudly yanked away! I pushed open my window just as what looked to be an invisible carriage door popped open to reveal – “Sebastian!”

“Now, who would have thought the Hero of Hogwarts would be in need of saving one day?” The chuckle that came from him caused a delicious chill done my spine and the way he looked over at me in my night dress almost had me bashfully wanting to button up my semi-undress state. “Come on, princess, let’s get you out of there.”

Meeting his smile with my own, I’d just about stepped over inside the levitated carriage when my bedroom door burst open – “You stay away from my daughter, you –!”

Sebastian now held the carriage door open in a panic as my father tried to reach out to me over my window, worried that the other might fall over as he tried to reason, “Sir please! You have my word that I will make a Lady out of your daughter!”

“Daddy, I love him!” I screamed over the biting winter wind, finally gaining my father’s full attention as he met my eyes so much like his own as I leaned closer to how Sebastian held me in his arms, “I’m having his baby!”

At that, my father let go, the shocked look still on his face as Sarah held him back with that same scandalized look on her face before Sebastian pulled the carriage door shut, the sound of the Thestrals’ wings the only thing that enveloped us as he also now sat beside me in stunned silence before, “Did we – Are you –?”

“No, I'm not, but you should see your face.” I pinched his nose, laughingly as I looked out the front window to marvel at how the Thestrals seem to know where to go, watching as they flew over the manor’s high fence before I felt the pair of warm, strong hands gently caressing my waist.

“I garner we’ll be arriving at Hogwarts sometime at dawn, so… what would you say to reevaluating the look on my face?”

My laughter soon flowed to Sebastian’s lips as he leaned in close.

The summer sun’s rays was perfect in highlighting the still scandalized faces of the mothers who were too curious not to go to the Welcome Party that my father organized for my return. Walking towards him, my hand found Sebastian’s, for all his charm, he did manage to make my father come around, after all.

He was met with a clasp on his shoulder before my father wrapped me in an embrace, coincidentally meeting Sarah’s gaze behind him as Hannah also stood near her. I afforded them a sickly-sweet smile as I raised a finger towards them, the sunlight making the glint from my ring finger all the more brilliant.

And there in the garden of the manor I was raised, I saw no grey as I danced between the flower beds, laughing in careless abandon before Sebastian pulled me into a private alcove, gently caressing the barely noticeable bump under my sundress as I pulled him in for a kiss.

All the clamor turned into white noise as wild joy flowing between us. This is my choice.

[cotecoyotegrrrl]

Once Upon A Time - Still Kind of Beautiful

Not exactly a holiday story - But it is that time year again. For all of you who were, and still are part of the Rookie Blue Golly fandom, I thought I would re-post this in installments the way I had originally meant to post it in 4 parts. I hope you all enjoy this. You can find of this story in its entirety on A03 and FF

Summary:

Sophie is home for the winter holidays after completing her very first semester at McGill University in Montréal. She is pre-med and wants to become a Forensic Pathologist, and Gail couldn't be more proud of her! She also has a new hero, someone who she doesn't realize is also in Gail's past.

Part 1

"MOM!" Sophie's voice whines from the couch in the living room.

She is home for the winter holidays after completing her very first semester at McGill University in Montréal. Gail leans her hips against the kitchen counter and sighs. How time flies, she thinks as she pauses in placing the last of the dishes from dinner into the dishwasher. She smiles and shakes her head as Sophie's impatient voice calls for her again.

"Mom! Come on! This show is so cool and you're going to miss it!" Sophie insists.

"Alright! Alright Kitten, I'll be right there!" Gail laughs, using the pet name she started calling her daughter long before the adoption went through.

The Forgotten Forensic Files is the show that Sophie has been telling Gail about for over a month now. It's her new favorite show in the universe she gushes with enthusiasm, and its about to begin on the History Chanel any minute now!

Sophie is nineteen years old and wants to be a doctor, a forensic pathologist at that. Go figure. She will be the first Peck in seven generations not to be a cop. She is so damn smart! And Gail couldn't be more proud of her. She wants to solve mysteries and cold cases like the doctors on the show. And it is understandable that she says she wants to give the victims of crime a voice. Her birth mother, the mother of her first eight years, had been murdered while she was at school one day, a woman struck down by a stray bullet who Gail found bleeding in the laundry room of their apartment building.

The first few years had been rough, with Sophie living in a group home and suffering from anxiety and depression, and Gail's life riding a rollercoaster of epic proportions both in her career and her personal life. Through out it all though, Gail's unconditional love and support for the girl who became her daughter never waivered. When Sophie was almost eleven, she finally moved in with Gail full time, in to the tiny two-bedroom townhouse Gail managed to rent with her bigger salary from her new position with the human trafficking division of CISI. When Sophie was fifteen the adoption finally went through, and she officially became Gail's daughter. She started calling Gail "Mom" shortly after her sixteenth birthday, much to Gail's delight and surprise.

Gail hears the show's theme music start up and she knows Sophie is waiting anxiously for her to join her on the couch. This is their time. It's time when Gail will snuggle next to Sophie and watch whatever her not so little girl wants. It's time to give her daughter her undivided attention, listening to whatever Sophie wants to tell her during the commercial breaks. It's something they have been doing since the beginning. It's something, like the long drives they used to take, that lets them be close and confide in each other without the emotional pressure of being face to face.

As she rounds the corner, she isn't sure if it's the words or the voice that makes her heart stop and her world come crashing down. This is the last thing in the world she ever expected to see on TV. Thank God she is still behind the couch where Sophie can't see her face, as her blood rushes to her ears and her chest feels like she's been shot.

"Looking at bones like these is like putting together a puzzle." That once oh so familiar voice continues.

Holly.

How long has it been since Gail heard that voice? She doesn't know, but it still has the power to do things to her. She looks up to see Holly, larger than life on the screen, happily rambling away about the pattern of fractures major impact trauma leaves behind when a victim is struck by a vehicle. Dr. Holly Stewart, Senior Forensic Pathologist, Mt. Sinai University, San Francisco, CA, flashes at the bottom of the screen below her. Gail hasn't seen her in a decade, not since Holly left, and God, she's still so beautiful! Knowing that she has to pull herself together, Gail closes her eyes, takes a deep breath through her nose, counts to four, and lets it quietly out through her mouth.

"Come on Mom! This is so cool!" Sophie turns, eyes shining as she exclaims, "And Dr. Stewart, I just love it when she's on! She always explains things in a way that makes sense. She is, is, well she is just so awesome!"

You have no idea… Gail thinks with a sad smile, before joining her daughter on the couch. She can only hope that Sophie is so wrapped up in the show that she won't notice Gail's hands shaking. She braces them on her knees as she sits to steady them.

"Yes," Holly continues, "When I was with the Toronto Police Forensics Department, we had a hit and run case very much like this one…"

The memory of sitting in the morgue on a cold fall day, watching Holly piece Robby Robbins back together the very first day they met, runs over Gail's senses like a freight train.

Sophie is rambling on about how Dr. Stewart is the best in her field. About how Holly has done more cutting edge research to revolutionize the field of crime scene reconstruction and DNA analysis and the determination of the post-mortem interval than anyone else. But Gail already knows this. What she needs is to focus on her daughter.

"Yes," Gail says absently, lost back in time, watching that adorable crooked smile appear like magic on Holly's face as she finishes her thought, "She is pretty awesome…"

Not that she would admit to it, but there isn't a book or article or scrap of paper that Holly has published in the past ten years that Gail hasn't read. In fact, although it sometimes makes her feel like a stalker, Gail has followed Holly's professional life closely, at least on paper.

"Wait!" Suddenly Sophie is clutching at her arm, "Wait! You know her?!"

"I did." Gail concedes with a sigh. "We were friends once."

"So wait, you knew I want to be a Forensic Pathologist, and you never once mentioned that you know Dr. Holly Stewart? She's only the top Forensic scientist in the world!" Sophie demands, "How could you do this to me? I mean I only worship her! Oh Mom! What is she like?"

Oh the irony… Gail thinks as she shrugs and looks at her hands regretfully. "Now she's just somebody that I used to know." She says quietly, "Listen… Why don't you ask your Aunt Traci? I think they may still be in touch." She says, knowing that Holly and Traci have maintained a close friendship over the years, even though she never asks and Traci doesn't talk to her about it.

Before her words are even finished, Sophie has sprung from the couch and run for her phone.

[cheekygreenty]

Little Witch - Part 12

the Darkling x Reader

The hour was late as the stars basked in the darkness and cold winter air. The fire roared in its hearth while your still steaming cup of sleep-aiding tea sat untouched on the small table. Your talk with Alina earlier was the cause of your unrest. You didn't know whether to feel sorry for her or be frustrated with her. She is a lovely girl, most pure and kind and quite literally the definition of sunshine, but something about her irked you and you hated it.

Maybe it was her somewhat unhealthy obsession with her friend, the tracker- Malyen Oretsev, or the sheer denial and lack of understanding of her position. Sure, Mal was the only thing that tied her to her old life, a sense of home, but he didn't belong anywhere near the Little Palace and posed a threat to Alina's true potential. She should understand that, no doubt it's been explained to her many times. She was no longer a random girl from the First Army or a Child of Keramzin, she was the Sun-Summoner and had to act the part.

But there was also a nagging feeling in you since your last words with Aleksander, the ones about the stag. From what you could gather, Alina definitely wasn't power-hungry, not yet anyway, and placing an antler anywhere on her would be against her wishes. You knew deep down that whatever he had planned would go far beyond just giving her an amplifier for her sake.

You sighed and moved around on the armchair again, trying to convince yourself those were the reasons you couldn't sleep, that Alina's position in this mess was why your mind wouldn't shut off, but who were you kidding, it was her and him. For starters, she called Aleksander by his name. The second the word left her mouth, your blood ran cold.

__

'Is he not here?' Alina looked to you from over her mug, eyes scanning the room.

'Who?'

'Aleksander, is he away at Kribirsk again?' Your smile faltered and your grip on your own mug loosened. But Alina waited for an answer.

'Oh umm, I don't know.' You did but the shock caused your mind to blank completely.

__

You had known Aleksander for years before he even told you his true name, you had to earn it. She spoke of her General with a fondness, at one point even speaking of him as if he were more than just her commanding officer.

__

'Do you miss the First Army Alina? I know you left friends behind, not just Mr.Oretsev.'

'I suppose I don't feel at home just yet, it's a lot to take in, this whole division of orders thing doesn't help either... But he assures me I am not alone, that I have an equal in the Palace.'

An equal?

__

The heat of the fire was doing nothing to calm down your rising rage. Apparently Aleksander was doing more talking with Alina than you'd thought, even sacrificing his own true name, one only spoken by you and his mother, for her to utter as if it was just another name. So what if you were in his chambers, making use of his office and sleeping in his bed, he clearly had his eyes on two prizes or maybe just one.

You felt sick now, be it from the heat or the anger, you got up and opened a window. The cold and dark night was a stark contrast to the licks of the flame. It made you feel at peace, but only momentarily. You heard voices outside, slowly growing louder. You rested your head against the wall, begging for one last moment of stillness, but alas the door was yanked open and his boots echoed throughout the room. You cursed yourself for deciding to spend another night in his quarters. You thought he'd be gone longer than just 4 days.

'I do hope you made yourself comfortable' His voice was as smooth as the kvas you had downed after Alina left. You wanted to turn around, but the anger was still there and all hell would break loose if you let your emotions run wild again.

'I did thank you. At least you have a desk'

'I'll get you one first thing in the morning'

'No need, I already requested one' Your voice was void of any emotion. Don't start a fight.

'Are you alright?'

'Just tired, being diplomatic is hard work' It sure was right now.

'Might I suggest actually getting into bed then?' His hand slowly came around your wrist and pulled you in the direction of the bedroom but ironically at the simple touch, your anger grew, when it usually has the opposite effect. You saw out of the corner of your eye that he had a genuine smile on his face, one that tended to make you melt but not now. You shrugged him off and walked in the direction of the door, leaving him utterly confused.

'Y/N what's going on.

'I'm tired, I'm going to bed' You tried so hard to act normal, not in any way pissed.

'Y/N look at me'

'Goodnight Aleksander' You couldn't help it, the mockery of his name just came out. There goes the diplomacy.

You heard him quickly walk towards you and tried to get to the door first to escape the tense atmosphere you created but he got there first, blocking your way.

'What?' You threw your hands up in exasperation not yet looking at him.

'Did something happen whilst I was away?'

'No'

'Then what is it'

'Nothing'

'Don't lie to me Y/N'

'Oh but it's okay for you to lie to me' Your eyes finally bore into his.

'Excuse me?' His expression read baffled; annoyed; pissed.

'Move away from the door Aleksander'

'No! You're going to be mature and have an actual conversation with me for once' He asked for it.

'Alright fine, Let's start with Alina''

'Y/N'

'I had a lovely little tea party with her today. Sweet thing. She loves to talk once you get her going. She told me a lot of fascinating stuff, including your name! How interesting don't you think.' Your voice was so cold it even made you shiver.

'I can explain'

'I'm not finished.' You felt that pull in you, that pull that comes before you put your fire or shadows to use but crammed it down with all your might. 'Her best friend hasn't been replying to any of her letters and I can recount there are many of them. Guess what I found in one of your drawers? They are all very poetic don't you think? I'm all for helping her adjust, but that's not help, that's manipulation Aleksander.'

'She won't let him go, It's dragging her down.' He said through gritted teeth.

'Dragging her down or away?' The double meaning in your words didn't go unnoticed by him.

'Y/N all I want to do is go to bed right now, I've had a long day, please.' His hand reached out for yours but you scoffed and moved away.

'You wanted to have this conversation, General, don't shy away when your actions are questioned.'

'Fine' He unblocked the door and crossed the room, throwing his cloak and kefta on the floor with a heavy thud. 'Is there anything else you wish to accuse me of Y/N dearest?'

'Look at you, so bitter but I haven't heard you deny any of it'

'You may go now if you like.' He picked up a decanter of whiskey and poured himself a generous glass

'Since when are you this childish Aleksander. Have I missed something in my 100-year absence?' You mocked.

'You left me with all of this' He gestured to the palace. '-That's what happened.'

'Don't turn this around on me, and I told you that wasn't a choice.'

'The Y/N I knew would have come back and not hid like a coward'

You stilled and waited for any sign of apology, but it never came. He meant it even though he knew how much such a simple statement would hurt you. You turned slowly and walked to the door.

'While I'm gone, at least have the common decency to change the sheets before you bring Alina in here' you shut it loudly behind you and heard the breaking of the glass, no doubt thrown at the door as you were leaving.

What a day.

Taglist

@theonelittleone @searching-for-gallifrey @0-artemis @lostysworld @xceafh @fire-in-her-veinz @patdsinner33 @cleverzonkwombatsludge @wizardwheezes @aleksanderwh0r3 @tomhollandisabae @hotleaf-juice @justmesadgirl @exo-1204 @houseofdupree @oberonpascal @eireduchess

Ok so idk if people can see this but I posted this like a week ago and apparently nobody seen it so here it is!!!!

Part 13

Here's my masterlist!!

[angstysebfan]

Heyy!! Ok so could I please request something where Bucky and pregnant reader are about to get married. He and the guests are all waiting for her to walk down the aisle but after a little while she still hasn't shown up and it turns out she's nowhere to be seen. Bucky thinks she's left him and is all sad. After a while the others find out she's been kidnapped by Hydra because they want the baby. Cue avenger vs hydra scenes and after finding her she goes into early labour and it's all touch-and-go for her and baby but in the end it's a happy ending (maybe the next request I'll work up the courage for an angsty ending 🙈).

Oh I love this! Hope you like it @lookiamtrying!!

--

Wedding Day 

Bucky looks in the mirror one last time, looking over to make sure he looks alright. Today is a day he has been waiting for for over 70 years. Today is the day that the love of his life, finally becomes his forever. When you got pregnant 4 months ago, Bucky didn’t think you would want to continue with plans for the wedding, but you told him nothing was going to stop you from being his wife.

Now being 7 months pregnant, you both decided to make the wedding an intimate gathering of your closest friends and family, which basically is the Avengers, T’Challa and Suri, the Gardians, and Dr. Strange. You both thought it was the perfect amount of people and didn’t need anyone else involved. You both thought the backyard of your new house was the perfect spot for the wedding as well. You have been so excited!

There is a knock on the door, pulling Bucky from his thoughts. Steve walks in with a smile, “You ready pal?” he asks. “More than ready! I just want her to be my wife already!” Bucky says with a laugh as they head out of the door. Steve puts his hand on Bucky’s shoulder to stop him from walking further, “I’m so happy for you Buck. You deserve this and more, and I am so proud to stand beside you both as you do this. I also can’t wait for y God child to be born,” he says. Bucky pulls him in for a quick hug and heads out to the backyard.

You both haven’t moved into the house yet, as it is under construction (Only best from Tony), but you thought the backyard was perfect. You have the chairs set and fairy lights all around, with a white tent behind the ceremony area for the reception. Bucky looks in awe at his surroundings, which make him that much more excited. He walks up in front of his friends and family and looks down the aisle, waiting for you to come to him.

He starts to get jittery as he waits, thinking maybe you were having some difficulty with your pregnant belly. After close to 30 minutes he starts to get nervous that you changed your mind. He decides to head back into the house to where you are supposed to be getting ready. When he opens the door, he sees the room is completely empty. His heart immediately breaks at the thought that you changed your mind.

Steve runs up behind Bucky and looks in the room, “She’s not here?” he asks. Bucky shakes his head sadly as tears rush to his eyes. “I guess she changed her mind,” he says and he slides down the wall to the floor. “I can’t believe Y/N would do that. I mean she is pregnant with your child,” Steve says. Bucky covers his face as tears start to flow down his cheeks. He doesn’t want to believe it either, but you’re not here.

Just then Natasha comes toward them and looks into the room. “I can’t believe she would do this. She was so excited last night! Let me call the driver,” she says pulling out her cell phone. After a brief conversation with the limo company, Natasha learned that the driver is not an employee. She tells this to Steve who immediately pales. You didn’t run out on Bucky, you were taken.

--

You wake up on a metal cot, handcuffed to the post. You look around and realize that you are in a cell underground. You try and control your panic, as you don’t want to risk anything with your unborn baby, but you are terrified. Suddenly the metal door opens and in walks a man in a black uniform, HYDRA. “Ah, you are finally awake,” he says. 

“What to you want?” you ask. “If you think I’m going to let you get Bucky, you have another thing coming!” you scream in anger. The man looks at you and laughs, “First of all, you really think you are tough chained to a bed? Second, it’s not the Winter Soldier we are after... it’s his heir,” he says.

You feel the color disappear from your face. They were after your baby, Bucky’s baby. God you hoped that Bucky figured out what happened to you by now and is on his way. You couldn’t help but be nervous that you would not survive whatever they have planned.

--

Bucky punches a few more times as blood sprays all over. “Tell me where she is!” he yells in the man’s face. “Buck, enough! You’re going to kill him!” Steve says. “He deserves to die for kidnapping Y/N!” Bucky says as Steve pulls him away. “Buck, I know you are concerned, but if you kill him we will have no leads. Just go wait over there or leave the room,” Steve says. “I’m not leaving until I know where my girl and baby are, Steve,” Bucky says.

Steve nods and turns back to the man who is bloody and oddly enough, laughing. “Since when are the Avengers mobsters? Beating a man to a pulp for information! You have watched too many movies,” he says. Steve walks up the man and pulls his head back, “Where is she? You picked her up and dropped her somewhere, now tell me where,” Steve says patiently.

The man spit blood on Steve’s face which caused Bucky to start toward him again,  but Steve stopped him. He wipes off his face and looks at the man, “Well, I tried to be nice. If you think the Winter Soldier was bad, you haven’t met Black Widow,” Steve says. At that the door opens and Natasha walks in with a bunch of different tools, a smirk on her face.

“Hello boys. Heard some information was needed,” she said eyeing the man who was tied up. He looked at her arrogantly, but Bucky heard his heart rate go up. he was nervous. Good.

--

You don’t know how long you have been there. Days and nights seem to have blended into one. They feed you, if what you are given can be considered food, but they have run tests on you, and you heard they are considering taking the baby out of you early. You are starting to lose hope that Bucky will ever find you, but you keep praying he will. Please Bucky, come find me. Please save us.

The door opens and in comes two men in black uniforms. They uncuff you and drag you to your feet. You try to fight them, but you are so weak.They continue to drag you down the hall to the same room you have been in multiple times. You look and you see a tray with different surgical tools. You know now that this might be the end. You have fought, but you don’t know if you will be able to save yourself or your baby.

You are placed on the table and strapped down tightly. You continue to wiggle and try to fight out of the the binds that keep you to the bed. You hear the laughing in the room, “You still haven’t learned that fighting is useless. We are going to get what we want. The assets child, with the serum running through their veins. We will be able to use this child to create more soldiers. HYDRA will win!” he says.

The doctor starts walking your way with the scalpel, and your breathing gets heavy in panic. In no time at all you start to scream as you feel the sharp utensil cut into your pregnant belly. Before he gets too far the door to the room and smashed down and Bucky, Sam, Steve, and Nat all run in fits, guns, and everything else blazing. Wanda runs in later with red floating around her hands.

You feel yourself losing consciousness and your child is moving like crazy in your belly. You try and focus on one thing to keep yourself conscious, but the darkness is winning. You swear you hear Bucky’s voice calling for you, but you can’t react. Your last thought is that your baby is safe.

--

You wake up to beeping, which is very annoying. You slowly open your eyes and see a bright white room with the sun shining in. You see Bucky slouched in a chair next to your bed, sleeping. You admire him for a moment before you quietly call out for him. “Bucky,” you say in a raspy voice. Bucky startles awake at the sound of your voice and looks at you. 

“Oh thank God,” he says and he leans into the bed holding your hand. You see tears flow freely down his cheeks as he looks at you with relief. “How long was I out?” you asked. “Um.. 4 days. You were malnourished and dehydrated, but Dr. Cho and Bruce took great care of you,” he says inching closer to you. “And the baby?” you ask, putting your free hand on your bump.

“The baby is just fine. Still cooking,” he says with a watery chuckle. You pull on his hand and bring him into your bed where he wraps his arms around you, kissing the top of your head. “I’m so sorry, Y/N,” he says, kissing your head and when you look at him, your forehead. 

“Bucky, it’s not your fault--” “You were taken because of me. They were going to hurt you both because of me,” he says. You take his face in your hands, “They wanted our baby, Bucky. If anything I should thank you and the rest of the team for saving us. You saved me and our baby. I’m sorry I missed the wedding,” you say looking into his eyes.

“I... I got scared you changed your mind. That you didn’t want me and my baggage. That you didn’t want to marry me,” he says. You lean in and kiss his lips softly. You pull away quickly to say, “I love you more than anything, Buck. I want to marry you so bad, I would do it in this bed!” you say.

Bucky kisses you again, passionately. “Let’s do it! I can have the pastor here, have our team here. Let’s get married right now,” he says with hope in his eyes. You give him a wide smile, “Let’s do it! Let’s get married!” you say before kissing him again.

In a short time your friends and pastor arrived and you and Bucky married from your hospital bed. The whole “ceremony” Bucky had his metal arm wrapped around you, and his flesh hand rubbing your baby bump. It wasn’t the wedding you imagined, but all that mattered was the man sitting next to you, pledging his life to you and you to his. 

It was the happiest day of your life, as least until another month when your son Steve James Barnes was born. Happy and healthy!

--

Hope you liked it!!

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[spacecatchako]

i don't want to be alone anymore (sfw)

you and daichi have been best friends since your first year of high school. now that you're in love (and adults) where will you go from here?

pairing: sawamura daichi x reader

wc: 3,373 words

contains: seemingly unrequited love, confessions, covers the nationals arc, friends to lovers, angst, hurt/comfort towards the end, fluff, reader literally has a breakdown and daichi comforts them, reassurance, cuddles, petnames (baby, princess, doll)

a/n: no, i didn't have any idea how to tag this. this fic is a little all over the place and there are several timeskips. the reader is implied to have issues w family and friends so keep that in mind lol. also i marked diff sections of the fic with ✨ this emoji so if u want to skip over certain parts and go straight to the hurt/comfort feel free babey

you were used to being lonely. sure, you worked hard and you had dreams, but there was some part you that remained unfulfilled. it was like a void that gradually dragged you down. you'd managed to supress it for most of your life up until high school, until all of a sudden something changed.

you met sawamura daichi. he was cute, a first year player on the volleyball team. daichi was kind to you. the two of you became fast friends after meeting on the first day at karasuno. during your breaks in between classes the pair of you would talk about anything and everything- volleyball strategies, your latest sketches, even other classmates that were giving you a hard time. you could be silly with daichi. there was no pressure with him, no need to pretend to be perfect.

but there was something scary about this too. by your second year of school you'd been friends with daichi for about a year. it was then that the realization hit- you had never felt this safe, this accepted, or... this loved by another person. when you'd get anxious because of classes or have issues with your family daichi became a shoulder for you to lean on. he'd go out of his way to send you check up texts and leave you little handwritten notes. the first one that you received was a little post-it note that said "you'll do great on your test today! i believe in you- daichi." he'd blushed like crazy when you confronted him about it. it was new to see your usually sturdy and level-headed best friend blush over a silly note that he'd left. there was something different between the two of you after that first note. instead of walking you home like usual he started to keep a hand on the small of your back.

you hadn't been looking. you'd been talking about how awkward your family was when a stray cat slunked into front of the two of you. you almost walked straight into it before the cat bounded away, crossing the empty street and looking back once to meow at daichi and you.

"sorry, is that too much? i just... want to make sure that you don't trip."

you were confused until you realized what had happened. daichi had steadied you by putting his hand on the small of your back. it felt good, for some reason, to trust him to steady you. trust wasn't an easy thing to come by.

you smiled a tad awkwardly before steadying yourself on your own two feet. "not at all daichi. i don't mind."

daichi smiled and the pair of you kept walking. his hand had stayed where it had been. you felt... guilty for being so touch-starved. and for your best friend, of all people?

"how ridiculous" you thought to yourself. when you came home you knew that no one was there. time to start dinner before your family came home. you'd probably retreat to your room and text daichi when that happened.

daichi was so good and so nice, and by your third year of high school the tiny, lingering bit of attraction that you had had for him flourished into a full-blown crush. you felt embarrassed and guilty. never had you let someone get this close to you. never had you ever let anyone write you notes, check in on you, give you genuine-sounding compliments. it was the little things like "are you okay y/n? you seemed a little quiet this morning. are you getting enough sleep?"

graduation came and went. the notion of parting with daichi and your other friends- asahi, suga, and kiyoko- left a pang of grief in your stomach. you were attending a local university and daichi planned to join miyagi's fire department after nationals. you'd still be close to him and he'd still be living at home, but it was weird to think that you'd be seeing one another a lot less.

nationals was when everything boiled over. you'd promised daichi that you'd be in the stands at every game of the competition, cheering him on.

"id love it if you were there, don't get me wrong. but don't feel like you have to jump through hoops for me! it's a bit of a long trip, i don't want you tiring yourself out." he confesses sheepishly. but you really wanted to go- his mom and siblings couldn't because of school and work, but they'd given him their best wishes.

"I'll hitch a ride with saeko and the crew. she and i work at the same restaurant on the weekends. we already talked and she said she'd be more than happy." you chirp. daichi seems a bit less worried about you after this, but then he remembers.

"um. y/n. you know that saeko drives... well, not badly, just... scarily?" he only seems to be partially joking.

you laugh at his worried expression. "I'll be okay pal. we'll make one of saeko's taiko buddies take the wheel."

daichi mock sighs in relief and you laugh together. this was the last moment that daichi had before nationals where he wasn't laden with anticipation over whether karasuno would succeed or not. he felt relaxed, with you. he thought you were cute, and awkward sometimes, and smart, and... good. so good. you didn't always look to him like he was an authority figure and you were small. he didn't feel the pressure to make sure you behaved or kept you in line because you were good at putting up a front and keeping yourself "in order." sometimes daichi wished that you would let him take care of you, let him listen more often. he wished that you would let him love you.

oh.

oh shit.

"daichi? um, daichi?"

daichi blushed and was snapped back to reality. he... loved you? that's what that care for you was all of these years. that's why he wanted to know if you were taking care of yourself, if you weren't burning yourself out with pleasing your family and school and work. sure, he thought you were cute. he picked up on all of your idiosyncrasies, even sometime pointing them out to you. he had had an inkling that *maybe* he had a little crush on you... but the care that he had come to find that he had for you was so great. he had to do something- everyone was leaving for school and the championships would be over and then when would he see you again? there was this great, big fear of losing you due to confessing. but that fear was minuscule compared to you, his studious and independent friend, pushing him away and forgetting.

"sorry. i was just lost in thought."

✨

yes, you, saeko, and the taiko group arrived a *tad* late and missed the tokonami match. yes you felt guilty for missing it. but when karasuno won against inarizaki and you saw daichi and the team celebrate the win, it was all worth it. you cheered as loud as you can, and once the players cleared from the court, you scrambled to greet daichi.

you see him in the lobby and almost leap into his arms. he laughs. "aaa, hey y/n." he croaks.

you giggle. "hey daichi. congratulations. you were amazing out there."

he's smiling through the sweat and fatigue. you notice, out of the corner of your eye, asahi and suga slowly backing away to leave the two of you alone. suga clicks his tongue, making daichi whip his head around, and he gives the captain a thumbs up." daichi sighs and sets you down, and the two of you are left in the stadium lobby. volleyball players and spectators mingle around, getting food and shopping for merchandise. daichi runs a hand through his hair and turns to you.

"do you want to go outside? there's something that i have to tell you."

anxiety shoots through you. if it's daichi, it can't be bad. of course not. that's one of your best friends. right?

the two of you make your way to the front doors of the stadium and get some fresh air. the sky is blue and the wind is refreshing against your skin. daichi, still sweaty and tired from his game, seems to enjoy it too.

you giggle as he stretches. daichi sits on a nearby bench and gestures for you to do so too. you notice a little shake in his hands as he does so. he's fiddling with the zipper of his karasuno jacket in that cute way that you know he does.

there's a sense of unease, and it's up to you to break the silence. you're alone with sawamura daichi, your best friend and longtime crush.

"daichi? what's wrong?" you ask, concerned.

daichi looks to you, a flush on his cheeks and a light in his eyes. he looks so cute, even when he's tongue-tied and tired from a game.

he takes a deep breath, and the words come out.

"i like you a lot, y/n"

you blink, confused. then it hits you. your crush, sawamura daichi, likes you. like, the boy that you think about way too much, the boy that you feel safe with, the absolute gentleman who cares about you and respects you instead of walking all over you, likes you.

you realize that you haven't said anything before you stutter.

"i-i like you too, daichi. so much."

he's blushing. your face is growing hot despite the winter air. the two of you, literal adults, are reduced to awkward messes because of this confession.

"o-oh. that's... good. i think that that's good." daichi awkwardly says. he laughs a little, then it turns into a full-blown bellow. you can't help but laugh too at how ludicrous the situation is. two friends who have known each other for years, caring about each other, eventually falling for each other. who knew?

"also suga made a bet and told me to confess to you if we won against inarizaki. he told me after the tokonami match. i agreed." daichi huffs after the laughter subsides.

"of course he did. im glad that he did it though." you joke.

"yeah. because then i wouldn't have you." he smiles, getting up. he extends a hand to you, helping you from the bench

"let's go back to the group. i don't want to miss lunch."

✨

it's been months after nationals. you and daichi are in a relationship, happy to be with one another. he's taken you on so many wonderful dates and his family seems to love getting to know you more. but there's still something that's missing. you've always struggled to open up to people completely. even daichi doesn't know what you're like when you completely break.

that changes one day when you have to travel from your dorm, to your parents house, then to daichi's for a date. it was supposed to be casual- just you and him in your pajamas, watching movies and eating takeout. but after being berated by your family for your career choice it triggered something in you. you felt like a little kid again, being told that you're not enough, being slowly manipulated by your family into burning yourself out. dachi helped the loneliness subside, but you knew that, inside, you were still the same little kid. that thought made something inside you recoil, but you pushed it down and made your way to daichi's.

you settle into his bed, your partner beside you. you take a good look at him- your man, sturdy and stronger from work at the fire department. suddenly, you can't help but break for some reason. tears flood your eyes and they won't stop for some reason.

"baby? baby what's wrong?"

you didn't deserve him. why were you even friends with him? someone this nice, this gentle with you, this kind? you wanted him to kick you out for crying. you wanted him to break up with you, because good things don't last.

you were so embarrassed and you'd felt so weak and stupid. you'd never been allowed to cry before, you'd always been told that it was a sign of weakness. good children didn't cry, so now that you were grown up you shouldn't either.

daichi hadn't judged you. he just set the tv remote down and moved in to hug you. other people's touches usually made you flinch and swat them away, but it was never like that with him. not when he supported the small of your back when you fell, not when you jumped into his arms, not when he took your hand after your mutual confession.

the two of you were hugging now, your chin on his shoulder and his head tucked into your side. you could stay like this forever. he was so warm. you could feel the two of your heartbeats almost sinking into one as your sobs quieted down and your breathing slowed to normal. this was the effect that he had on you. it was in this moment that you realized that you loved him- you truly did. the brown-eyed, sturdy, kind, careful, gentle boy that you'd met on the first day of high school had become your friend. then he was your crush. now that you two were adults, he was your first partner. the first person that you had ever fallen truly, deeply in love with.

you felt weak for desiring a love that was this tender. pessimistic you has you thinking that maybe all of the bad things that happened when you were growing up- your family being distant, friends leaving, you feeling alone all of the time- were a sign. a sign that you didn't deserve love. but if you were undeserving, if the pessimistic side of you was right, maybe you could have this moment to keep instead. is that it? if a whirlwind kind of love was too much to ask, you could just keep these moments with daichi close to your heart. if it was possible to take this feeling and keep it in a bottle, you would.

in between sobs, you vent.

"everything sucks, daichi. my family has always been so critical of me. i never get to see any of our friends anymore. im trying to succeed at school but my family won't get off my back. i feel so alone."

daichi pulls away to look at you. his palm is cupping your face and uses his thumb to wipe a tear away. you sniffle. you struggle to meet his beautiful brown eyes, averting your gaze. but you can feel his gaze on you, and when you do finally find the courage to make eye contact, he looks at you with nothing but affection. for some reason you don't feel judged by him. you don't feel... bad for crying in front of him anymore. he's looking at you with nothing but acceptance, nothing but care.

"hey." he starts in a small, gentle voice. "i know how you feel about crying, doll. but it's okay to cry. no matter what your parents say about you, you're a good person. a lovely person, even. you're a good friend too. what they think is stupid." he smiles a little. you love that smile- the way that his eyes crinkle a little and his cheeks dimple. he holds one of your hands in both of his. "i love you. you're good, and smart, and kind, and hardworking. you forget to take care of yourself sometimes, but i think that that's okay. while you're learning how to show yourself more compassion I'll take care of you in the meantime. whatever you need, doll. you're safe with me. no matter what. okay?"

you're crying again. great. you don't stop yourself this time and you throw yourself into his arms. he's there, waiting for you. you let yourself sob into his chest while he gently rubs your back. he holds you in his big, strong arms and hugs you closer. you don't feel suffocated and you don't feel humiliating to be crying. you feel safe. it sucks to cry over what your family thinks of you and it sucks that you don't feel like enough. it sucks that you've felt alone for most of your life. it sucks that you feel guilty for wanting love and it sucks that sometimes, you feel guilty for loving daichi so much. but as he holds you and presses a kiss to the top of your head, nuzzling your hair, all of the pain is tinged with something warm. something safe. something so, so safe. a feeling that you'd never felt before.

it's in that moment that you know- daichi isn't a whirlwind. he isn't a storybook prince that will whisk all of your problems away. no, he's somehow better. he's a pillar of support, a source of comfort, a prince in his own right. no, he won't save you- you still have to take care of yourself. but he'll support you, fill in the gaps, love you unconditionally. maybe a fix-it-all is too much to ask, but you couldn't care less about that now. all that you want his daichi. he takes care of you. he respects you. he loves you, despite your flaws and your feelings of weakness and those moments like now when you just need to be held. he loves you.

when you've stopped crying your voice is croaky and you feel gross. you look up at daichi and he hands you a box of tissues from the nightstand. you're an ugly crier, you know that. but daichi doesn't seem to judge as you dab at your eyes and look to check your reflection in his room mirror. it feels wrong to leave the comfort of his arms, but it also feels like instinct to check your composure. when you're done you turn around to face him, eyes tired.

"do you want to talk about it doll?" you're about to object, in a prefunctory sort of way, but he cuts in. "baby, i don't mind. really. i just want to know that you're okay. i just want to know that you feel safe. you've endured a lot and the way that you feel matters."

you sniffle. "im fine not talking for now daichi. im... tired. just tired. from crying. i just want to sleep." when he shows you nothing but understanding, you stutter out one last request

"ww-will you hold me?"

"of course, princess. ive got you."

you clamber back to bed. daichi and you shift positions so that he's laying down and you're against his chest. he smells like that nice, crisp soap that he always uses. you bury your face in his chest once more, before laying on your side to the sound of his heartbeat.

you sigh. "i love this sound. it lets me know that you're here with me. it let's me know that you're real."

daichi chuckles warmly. you can hear the sound reverberate throughout his chest and it tickles your ear. he's so sweet. it's then that he promises something to you.

"im here, darling. and i am not going anywhere."

your eyes water a little at that. "i love you, daichi. you're my best friend."

he sighs, and it's like you can feel his warm, gentle smile from where you're resting. "i love you too, doll. so much. you are the most precious thing in the world to me."

you know in that moment that you are loved- genuinely, indellibly loved. the roughness and loneliness that you once endured is no more. despite everything, you're learning how to love yourself and to take care of yourself. it feels so, so lonely sometimes and the work seems endless. but whenever you need someone to catch you when you fall, you know that your love, daichi, will be there. forevermore.

his heartbeat relaxes you as you snuggle deeper into his chest. the last words that the two of you utter to one another are ones of love before you both drift off to sleep. you love him- so, so much. and he loves you.

tagging some folks in the longest fic that ive ever written because aaaaaa. if u want to be added to my taglist or taken off plz send me an ask!

@ceo-of-daichi @honeybunny-sawamura @daichis-kitty @goldenshoyo @daichidaichidaichi @kingtamakimurder

[peachnewt]

Midnight Snack - Time Slips By

On September 15th, 2009, I posted the first chapter in the Getting In Deep series; Man on the Inside Part 1. This year, I completely forgot. Plague years have not been kind to my writing brain, but I wanted to do something to commemorate and thank everyone that's been sticking with me through the years. Whether you've been around since '09 or you just found the Getting In Deep series yesterday, I hope you enjoy this little snippet. ^_^

Thank you all for being here. Here's to eventually seeing these two lovable idiots get their happy ending!

This is a purely self indulgent midnight snack, no real vore happens though it is implied. And it is heavily implied that Will and Louis dabble in a bit of roleplay in the bedroom, though there is nothing further than kissing on the page. Enjoy!

Louis understood time had rules and scientific laws that others comprehended much better than him. He still cursed how time eluded him; tick-tocks vanishing like vapor when they were supposed to mark the hour, minute, second. Date. Even Reese occasionally messing with the insides of clocks and wristwatches at his desk hadn't been enough to give Louis warning that he was missing something in the cycle of the year.

But Louis figured something was wrong when Will brushed him off during a case that ate away at their free time and sleep.

"Can you get your own coffee?" snapped Will. "I need this report done yesterday."

Louis huffed and walked to the break room with his barren mug. He'd get a cup of tea for Will while he was at it, maybe then he'd cool off.

Of course the coffee maker was empty. No one else considered the caffeine needs of others. Barbarians.

He filled the coffee maker, and waited, eyeing the new signs HR had put up in the break room. He didn't know if they were supposed to be inspirational, or menacing.

Hang in there.

We are a TEAM!

Where were you five years ago? Where will you be five years from now?

Five years ago I was ending my tour, thought Louis. I would never have imagined doing this. Hell, three years ago I would never have imagined weekly shrink tests and going down my partner's throat on a regular basis.

The aroma of percolating coffee filled the break room, stimulating Louis memory.

And two years ago I was in...

And Louis remembered the event that started all the weirdness in his life. And a few of the good things too.

Two years and two days ago.

That was how long it had been since Louis and Will came to a whole new understanding with each other. And Louis plain forgot. No wonder Will had been acting as coarse as rock salt.

Anniversaries weren't something Louis did or thought about. Mostly because he hadn't been with anyone long enough to count anniversaries. But for Will...

Okay. I fucked up.

Louis grabbed a fresh cup of coffee and started the hot water for Will's tea.

New mission; unfuck up.

***

Louis didn't do romance often, but he could make it up on the fly. Will had to stay an hour late to run his report by Cetz and a few others. He could do something in the hour it took for Will to get back to his apartment.

Right?

Louis bought four packages of Peppermint patties and a leftover bouquet of tired daisies from a corner store. Flowers and chocolate, check. He let himself into Will's apartment with the spare key and laid a line of the individually wrapped mints from the door to the bedroom. He searched the far desk for the container full of the "dice geek" stuff. Bingo, a giant box full of fake tea lights. Romantic ambiance without the chance of a sudden fire. It was a good idea until he realized half the batteries in the lights were dead and he had to get more.

Could he afford to leave and get batteries? No. He called in reinforcements.

"Beni, can you come over to Will's with a package of triple As?"

"Do I want to know?"

Louis hefted the fourth untouched bag of mints in his hand. "I have candy." Translation: MOVE!

"Be there in eight minutes!"

Help on the way, good. He might need it for the next part.

Louis opened Will's second closet, the closet full of things almost as Don't Touch as Will's Star Wars shrine, picked the challenge of the night, prayed for forgiveness, and got to work.

***

Fifty minutes, and much cursing at fabric and buckles later, the door to the apartment creaked open. Louis dropped the last candle, grabbed the bouquet of flowers, and launched himself onto Will's bed, yards of cloth flapping around him.

Will cursed as he kicked something small at the doorway. "What the--?"

Follow the trail, Fanboy, Louis mentally urged while awkwardly trying to figure out how to lay seductively on the bed while drowning in so much freaking fabric. Jeeze, why is the hood so huge?

"Who-- Louis?" called Will, puzzled.

"In here," called Louis. "No lights please." I don't need to shrink the moment I kinda got this right. Okay, this laying on the bed like a gift ain't working. Should I stand? I should stand holding the flowers. Could be holding one of the light sabers but I know Will would kill me if I touched them. I- Holy crap, I can't even get up wearing this thing!

Before Louis could get to his feet, the door slowly swung open. Will entered and froze one step inside, holding the cheap chocolate peppermints he'd gathered. The soft glow of fake flickering lights bounced off the dark polished wood of the desk and bed like golden fireflies. Something soft and instrumental echoed from the stereo.

And on Will's bed lay Louis clothed head to booted feet in Will's Jedi Master robes.

"Happy late anniversary," Louis mustered.

Will stood frozen, mouth slack. "You..."

"It wasn't until today that I realized I completely forgot our anniversary two days ago. So this is me trying to make up for it."

Will gulped, eyes still wide. "I see."

He definitely looks surprised, hopefully pleased and not pissed that I touched his costumes. Okay legs over the edge and.... up we go. Oh, these boots are a bit too small. Ouch. "You gotta be at least a little impressed that I got most of this getup on by myself. There are ties and eyelets and layers and stuff." He didn't need to mention he'd needed Beni's help to get the belt on before he shooed her away with the rest of the candy.

Will stood there, shocked and awkward, like someone that walked into the wrong surprise birthday party.

"Will?" asked Louis, an inkling of what was wrong.

"Hm? Yeah?" Will's eyes shot up from looking at the folds of the long brown robe that flowed around Louis like heavy smoke. His cheeks burned. "Sorry. You laying there dressed in... My mind just rebooted and-"

Louis' hands went to his hips in indignation. "You have no idea what anniversary I'm talking about, do you?"

"No," admitted Will. "I'm sorry! If I had remembered I would have gotten you something nice!"

Louis paced started pacing, the long robe billowing behind him. "I've been racking my brain wondering why you've been so pissy lately. I thought I forgot something important."

"No! It's the case Cetz gave me. He wants me to work it on my own and I'm getting nowhere even with Watch Three input." Will pouted. "It was a bunch of little things making me mad, not you."

Louis huffed and stilled, the robes coming to a stop a few seconds after he did. "And you're not mad I'm wearing one of your costumes?"

"You're forgiven. And this is very nice," said Will, stepping closer. "The candles are beautiful, I'll be enjoying the chocolates for a long while, and you look absolutely gorgeous in those robes."

"How gorgeous?" edge Louis, back straightening under the praise. He needed the ego boost after the stress of the day.

"Majestic. Glorious." Will smiled, put the peppermint chocolates down on the dresser, and inched closer. He grasped the edge of the hood draping around Louis shoulders and lifted it up to crown Louis' head. "Mysterious. Powerful."

Will pulled the hood and Louis closer, lifting up on his toes and tilting his face to press a kiss to the mouth in shadow. Louis' lips lifted at the difference a one-inch heel made, and then tilted his face to the side to kiss a touch deeper. Will tasted of peppermint; probably eaten in the journey from door to bedroom. The fume of mint and dark chocolate filled the scant air between them.

When their lips parted, both were smiling. Will wrapped his arms around Louis' waist under the outer robe while the long sleeves dangling from Louis' arms enveloped Will's shoulders like bat wings. Whatever confusion or mistake between them had evaporated in the meeting of lips and mint.

"How do you even keep the hood in place?" asked Louis.

"Hair clips in the lining." Will leaned closer, chest to chest. His mouth quirked in a sheepish tilt. "I'm terrible with dates. I can barely remember my own twin sister's birthday. Can you remind me what we are celebrating?"

Hell, I ain't making this easy for him. "Guess."

"Uh, first time I met you?"

"Try again."

"Can't be our first date, that was in Winter."

"That true."

"First case?"

"Close."

Will's mental capacity was still in reboot mode from seeing Louis in full Jedi robes. "I give up."

"September 15th. The date of the Freewill raid. The first time I was inside you." Louis' hand drifted down from Will's shoulder to his stomach. "The first time I had to rely on you completely. And, if memory serves, that night you confessed that you liked me."

"Oh." Will's mouth curved into a smile, and his whole body curved towards Louis, warmed by the sentiment. "I would have thought getting you coffee every day and smiling at you was an indicator of liking you."

"Yeah, well I wasn't the most attentive partner until you said it verbally. That's what I'm counting."

"So Freewill is our anniversary. I can get behind that," agreed Will.

They slowly made their way to sit on the bed, Louis gathering the flowers that had fallen from the bouquet, and Will gathering the chocolates to share between them.

"So... I didn't forget our anniversary," said Louis around a mint. "But you didn't even realize we had one."

"Like I said, bad with dates." Will bashfully reached out to the hood of the long brown Jedi robe draped over Louis. "Does that mean you're not going to wear this anymore?"

Louis grinned. "The point of the costume was for you to take it off." He edged the collar aside with a thumb, flashing bare skin. "What do you want to do tonight?"

Will's eyes glimmered in the gold-light. A child with a new toy. "Anything?"

"Within reason."

"Maybe... roleplay?"

Louis hummed and nodded his head. He could do improv, especially if it lead to a happy ending.

"So... Jedi and Rouge?" mused Will. "I can get the Han Solo costume on real quick. Or the Hutt Slayer costume, but that will take some time to put on and maybe some double sided tape. I-"

Louis put a hand over Will's mouth and stilled his overly creative mind going fifteen directions at once. He didn't want to wait for a costume change; he knew how long one of those could get. "How about Jedi warrior fell to earth and needs more force energy. Luckily there is a nerdy earthling full of it."

"That's not how the force works," Will said, muffled.

Louis ignored him. "So he persuades the earthling to share. To save his life. It's a long process." Louis leaned in, bringing Will's face into the shadow of the hood, and then brushed his lips along the hinge of Will's jaw. He trailed a hand down from its place over Will's mouth, over trembling throat and chest, until it rested below Will's sternum. "It might even involve going inside the earthling, right into his core, to get what he needs."

Will gulped hard, caught in the image as deftly as Louis caught him in his arms and robes.

"So, what do you think?" asked Louis.

"Let me splash some water on my face and we can start. Same rules as before?"

Louis grinned. "Always."

***

Will woke overly warm and worn out under the wool Jedi robe. The bed lay in the golden glow of tea lights running their batteries and the dawn cracking through the window shades. He flicked the robe aside and turned from his side to his back, groaning at the lingering ache. Bits and pieces of Will's prized Jedi Master costume lay around the bedroom, part of the belt hanging from the headboard.

Last night had lasted hours, playing earthling and Jedi. One of Will's deepest fantasies come true. If only he could get Louis to join him at a convention wearing the robes.

Louis mumbled in his ear through the SkySprecht. One of the many rules they obeyed when adventurous in bed.

He'd have to take the robe to the dry-cleaner later, but after last night...

Will stretched, smiling at the small weight shifting inside his core.

Worth it.

"Happy Anniversary, Louis."

------

If you enjoyed this short, consider buying me a ko-fi!  

[fayeimara]

Meant To Be Series || One For Every Billion

5. Thank Some Gods

You end up in Hyogo for a real hot minute over your winter break, thanks to your cousins Akira and Akari who decided to drag you along when they were forced to visit with their mom and older brother. Being a year older then them and already a seasoned solo traveller, the parents all thought you'd be a great chaperone. Woohoo, yay you.

Truth be told, you love spending time with them and you're really happy to be able to see your aunt and other cousin, their brother Kazuya, that you'd missed over the summer, as well. Although you did have to apologize to Tobio and his family because when you'd promised you would stay with them next, you should have specified you meant next time you were in Miyagi. Not Japan in general. You think they were just taking the piss though.

Oh right, your vulgar new phrases are courtesy of Akira, thank her very much. Spend a few minutes in the twins' company and you end up talking like them, or whatever their west coast academy friends are currently teaching them, at least. Akari has a valley girl phase going and you think Akira is gearing up for a Tarantino-inspired life. Can't see how your family is let that going to happen, but it's not your job to tell him that.

"Y/nnn, did you try this dango!" Akira runs right into you, appearing from the crowd of people on the festive street of the shopping district you're in, and locks her free arm around yours while waving a stick with round balls on it in other other hand.

"No, but I waited 10 minutes standing still in the cold and crowd so you can bet that I will. Half of that is already mine."

"Hmph," She scoffs, "No one told you to stand still and wait around, silly."

You give her an exasperated look, "You literally said, 'stay there a minute, I'm grabbing us some sweets!' and bounced off."

"Okay, okay, chill your roll, girl."

"Not sure that's a saying, girl."

"Maybe not at the snooty east side preps."

"Yo." Akira appears on your other side. "Half that's mine."

"A third. Or none at all." Akari sticks her tongue out at her twin.

He looks over at you and you nod, twisting quickly so you can grab and hold her occupied arm still while he plucks the dango from her hand.

"Hey! Looks like it's none at all!"

"No. Looks like it's half mine, half Y/n's." He bites off one of the chewy balls (okay, we all know how that sounds.. slow your roll, girl) before holding the stick in front of your face so you can grab one too. Oh wow. It is good. Why did you wait so long to try it? So many years wasted without enjoying this sweet texture.

You can see your third cousin approaching, holding onto a tray of steaming drinks, as you chew over your thoughts on the delicious dessert (see what you did there?).

"I got your coffee", he holds the tray between us so I can grab one of the cups with my free hand, but like.. Kazuya, which one is it?

"Kazuuu, they're bullying me!" Akari pouts for sympathy only for Akira to fire back almost before she reaches the last word.

"She bullied me first!"

Instead of responding to either, he rolls his eyes at their bickering but they're only having fun. You've never met siblings that have each other's backs more than these two. You think Kazuya misses it too, having decided to study in Japan and live with his mom who consequently chose to work here, while the other two live with their dad - but really at a boarding school - back on the American west coast.

"Whatever, are you grabbing your drinks or what?"

Akari only smiles at her older brother's deadpan expression, "Which one is my hot chocolate, niichan?"

"Please don't call me that."

"Why not?"

But it's Akira who answers with a snicker, "Because you don't even go here, brat. It's cringy coming from you."

"Shut up, ugly clone."

"That's literally impossible unless you're calling yourself ugly too."

Okay, you're just going to go for the cup closest to you on your left. You pick it up and sip slowly... success. The sweet, warm flavour of your white chocolate mocha slides down your throat.

Kazu is giving you an arch look now, he knows how much you live for coffee but he's still going to say something about it, right? "You know it's already dark out, I don't know how you can drink this stuff so late. Don't you want to get some sleep tonight?"

"Bold of you to assume I need sleep." You smirk at him over the rim of your cup while Akari makes an attempt at snatching the remaining dango back from her brother around you. Please don't make me spill.

"Nah, I just assume you're a robot and this is your regular maintenance or something."

You consider his words before shrugging, nothing too mean that you can call him out on, you guess. "Down the hatch then."

"Sure thing, but I'm not staying up late bingeing your crappy shows with you when you're wired."

"But you'll binge a non-crappy show?"

"Maybe."

Another smile for your favourite cousin of the minute. He did get you coffee, you know. Akari's managed to grab the third sweet off the stick with her mouth like some rabid animal, but it makes sense because the hand not still holding onto you is holding back Akari's arm. They're going to smac-

And they hit the tray that Kazu was only just holding. He somehow manages to grab one of the drinks you assume is his out of it's spot while avoiding the wreckage spill of the other two cups. He didn't even try to hold on to it, which is partly why you're laughing as both twins start simultaneously apologizing and complaining about their spilled drinks.

Kazuya's deadpan expression is actually pretty communicative for the the moment, "I'm not going back for another, this is on you guys."

"Kazu, do you like being mean to us?" They actually ask this at the same time but Kazu's not even phased.

"Yes, I want you to suffer." He's dry as ever.

You chuckle but they're so sweet, most of the time, so you'll make it up for them, "I passed a stall selling hot chocolate, since we don't need to replace my specialty coffee, I can go there to get you some."

"Me too?" Akira asks hopefully.

"Yes, you too, puppy."

He rolls his eyes, trying to adjust his expression back into an uncaring one. It's more natural on his brother currently, but you can definitely see him grow into a more serious demeanour someday.

"I'll come with you while these two stay put." Kazu gives his younger siblings a stern look.

"No need," You wave him off, grabbing the stick with the last piece of dango and handing it to him, "Enjoy this as repayment from us all for making you go all the way back into the mall for our drinks. In the meantime, I'll be right back."

"Hold on, you're going to the one next to the onigiri stand, right?"

"Yeah?"

"Okay, straight there and back in fifteen minutes or I'll come find you. And if I have to worry, I won't be happy."

"Okay niisan." You roll your eyes with your sarcastic tone. Older brothers. No wonder he and your brother Raiden get along so well, they're under some misassumption that their younger siblings just can't help getting into trouble, as if you all only live to annoy them. And he was doing so well as your favourite cousin for the time being.

You stroll away from the benches you were waiting at by the end of the street where the outdoor stalls meet the main street shopping mall and melt back into the crowd. This festival really is something, so brightly lit with pretty twinkling lights strung up everywhere and curled around any available post like glowing, warm yellow vines. You absolutely love the vibe but you know you're on a time crunch.

You notice the onigiri stand just ahead of the drink stall and debate for a quick second before stopping in the surprisingly short line up. A piece each of sweet dessert does not a stomach fill. Unfortunately, just as you take a sip of your coffee, someone bumps into you from behind, causing it to spill over your lips and dribble down your chin but you adjust enough in time, holding the cup out and away from you, so that you're not covered in any more than that and the little bit on your hand.

You hate wet clothing with a passion, especially when it's cold outside and it clings to you with that awful chilly, sticky feel. Not so bad when it's on your coat, but on principle, that's just as unpleasant if you run the cuff of your sleeve over it or it get on the collar and then you have the tiniest bit of discomfort right by sensitive skin and that makes it all the more glaring.

You realize the person who bumped into you also reached out to steady you at the same time and is now speaking, "Shit, I'm so sorry."

It's a little quiet but you make out his apology through his thick dialect. Hm, you think that's where the odd changes in Kazu and his mom's speech are coming from, a regional osmosis of accents?

"No worries, it's pretty crowded." You only half turn while you search your pockets for a tissue or napkin, spotting a flash of grey in your peripherals. Then an arm covered in that grey reaches out to hold a napkin in your field of view and you finally look up to see who it belongs too.

And now you're just staring. Hi there, I'd like hear your voice more. Preferably while you stare at his mouth move on his beautiful face. You can't believe he just had his hand on your waist, even if it was just for a split second and over layers of clothes, and you didn't get to appreciate it.

"It's not dirty." He shakes the napkin, you're assuming because he thankfully thought you were thinking that over instead of ogling him.

You chuckle, thinking how you definitely need to send thanks to some divine power on the new year for all the interactions with some serious eye candy these past six months, but out loud you say, "I really need to thank some gods out there, huh?"

What?

He gives you a confused look but you catch yourself and, before he can respond and question your sanity, quickly follow up with, "Or just you. For this. Thank you for the napkin."

"S'alright. Wasn't a big favour, really, just makin' up for my fault bumpin' into ya." You're not sorry he did, though? You can't tell what he's thinking, this guy is a closed book, folks. It's kind of jarring, since you consider yourself exceptional at reading people and acclimating to them.

You finally actually accept the napkin and wipe at your mouth and chin first, then your hand, responding, "At least you didn't make me drop the coffee or we would have had a real problem."

You think he realizes you're teasing because the corner of his mouth actually inches up the tiniest bit. You're not imagining, you swear it on your mocha!

"Coffee this late?"

"It's 11am somewhere."

"Ya wake up at 11am?" What an interesting thought process he has.

"Are you not on winter break? Or do you just assume your typical hours in every conversation no matter what day of the year it is?"

"Huh." You think he sounds thoughtful? Or was it just the word and you're associating it with how you use it..

"That's not an answer, but I'll take that to mean you go the typical route." You smile again because like you said, he's unreadable and you really don't want him to think you're being bitchy. You're really grateful for the napkin. And that face. So... yeah.

You're moving up, thankfully, because you thought you were blessed but this is just turning into what feels like an awkward encounter.

"I like sleepin' in, but sometimes I get too hungry so I'm up when my stomach is."

You look back at him in surprise, obviously because he bothered to continue a seemingly closed conversation, but that quickly turns into amusement and commiseration, "Oh I know! It's mostly coffee for me because not a lot of people bother to make breakfast in my house, but if I smell something delicious cooking, I forget I'm not a morning person."

He does smile fully then and it's beautiful. "Me too, but I'm usually the one doing the cookin'."

"Oh wow, that's dedication. I can respect but never reach that ideal." You hold your hand to your heart in a silly salute but also because he's still smiling and you're trying to tell your unreliable organ to be still. Not too still though, you're enjoying the moment and want to keep living it.

"Eh, I'm used to it."

"Well then, for once, let someone else take care of your food. I'll get your order for you."

"Seriously? It was just a napkin and my fault too.."

"Yeah, no, don't worry about it! Consider it a gift in essence of the festival!"

He doesn't say anything for a moment before, "I was going to try the different flavours. That's a lot."

"No way, that's awesome! I'll do that too, I don't even know what they have available, I just stopped here on a whim on my way there." You indicate the stand next to the one you're almost to the front of with a wave of your hand.

"Ahh.. if ya like, I can suggest some?"

You happily smile at him as you accept, "That would be great, thank you so much."

The two of you step up to the counter together and you listen while he orders. While you both wait for them to place each of your requests, he explains some of the fillings and why they work best depending on personal taste and even situation. You tell him about having just tried dango, sad about having realized you missed out so long, and he actually smiles widely at your exaggerated pained expression but also recommends some other desserts, including which shops to stop at in the city.

It's starting to snow as you two talk, which is not rare but still unusual for this region, but thankfully it's not much longer before you're each handed your containers and move aside. You look over to him and laugh when you realize this guy is already munching on one of the onigiris, your breath puffing out in a small cloud before you. "Which one is it?"

"Fatty tuna." He talks around it with his own little puffy cloud and it's pretty cute actually, instead of the usual cringe when people talk with their mouths full. Oh, the benefits of being good looking. Also, he's tilted his head down ever so slightly so it's almost polite in a perfected way.

"I'm just going to go ahead and assuming you're enjoying it."

He nods while swallowing and then makes some pretty intense eye contact while speaking way too seriously, "Thank you. This is amazing."

You smile, feeling like in the minutes the two of you were conversing, you've gotten a little more comfortable with the minute changes in his expressions. "You're welcome. I'm going to head over to the drink stall now, but it was nice to meet you!"

With a laugh as you walk away, you also add, "And thank you for sharing your knowledge with me, at least I'll know where to feed myself when I'm craving different things this week."

You're turning away as he seems to stand there watching you with some hesitation, but you can't do all the heavy lifting in a conversation when you're on a time limit, so you'll chalk this up to another fun run-in with a cute guy for the books.

You're lucky there's no line up, you're really short on your deadline and your fingers are getting pretty cold along with your coffee, so you pay for the hot chocolate, they pour, and you're back off towards the end of the street where your cousins are waiting.

You can't move too fast given the bag dangling from the wrist of the hand that's also carefully holding the tray of four hot chocolates, but the crowd is also thinning out a little now with the snow. Hopefully, if you're a couple minutes behind the expected time, the diverse and sheer amount of onigiri you have in the bag you're now holding, as well as the new round of warm drinks, will bring you forgiveness.

You finish up the last, cool dregs of your coffee just as you pass by a trash can, making the split decision to quickly reverse so you can toss your cup and free up a hand. As you execute your smooth move and then turn back, you unsurprisingly bump into someone yet again. Not so smooth then, you think, looking up.

It's deja vu and for a split second, you consider that he might actually be a weirdo and followed you, because stopping in your path as an apology drops from your lips is the guy you were only just talking to, same face, same dark hair, even same height... but with a different jacket on.

It takes you all of one more second to notice the small differences like the eye colour, the way the hair naturally parts, and the slightest difference in size, not to mention the more obvious difference in openness and personality literally exuding from this one. He's actually smiling wide right away with no provocation. So not a weirdo who changed his jacket and followed you.

Also, have you ever considered the odds of multiple sets of twins being in pretty much the same place at the same time?

"Oh, there's another one of you, huh?" You're talking again before he even has a chance to respond to your apology, but you guess you feel familiar thanks to your brief encounter with his twin. "That's unfair, don't you think?"

You step around him calling out, "Anyways, sorry about that. Enjoy your night." and walk away, back towards your own set of twins.

Ugh, Kazu's going to kill you. You won't be making it in time, for sure.

Miya Atsumu's POV

Atsumu turns to follow the stunning girl's progress as she moves around him and away, catching her last words but still more interested in her previous statement. 'There's another one of you, huh?'.

People have been confusing him and his twin for as long as they've been alive and only those that know them really well can only sometimes make out the difference.

It's no longer amusing, and actually irritating enough that he and 'Samu have been considering a little aesthetic change some time next year, maybe before their first year of high school.

'Tsumu knows it's his brother without looking when someone walks up to his left side from behind him. What he's surprised by is his first words, "She think you were me? I was talkin' to her a bit at the stall."

When he glances over, he notices 'Samu staring after her as well, with a lot more interest than simple, piqued curiosity. Does he know her?

"No.." He contemplates her words again before sharing with his brother, "She said 'There's another one of you, huh? That's unfair, don't you think?' and then walked away."

He can feel 'Samu looking over at him curiously, "Did ya talk to her?"

Why is he asking? He hasn't even picked up a new onigiri from the open box in his hand. "I just bumped into her. Didn't even say a word. Do ya know her?"

"Like I said, I only just met her." Pausing, 'Samu seems to think it over before adding, "We only talked a few minutes, maybe."

The twins are silent for another couple moments, while the snow continues to drift around them. The girl is long gone, swallowed up by the crowd at this point, but they keep staring at where they last saw her retreating figure, each in their own intrigued thoughts.

Finally, 'Samu's the one who breaks the silence, "Do ya believe in coincidences, 'Tsumu?"

"No, 'Samu, ya know I don't."

Prev | Next

Masterlist

Behind The Scenes!

-Tee was called out in the first thread because he doesn't use emojis often, especially not the half assed ones he used for a scenario like that so... caught slipping lmao (aw he does care about Y/n <3 Maybe more than he should?)

-Y/n was NOT expecting to get called out like that for saying she likes Oikawa when she'd literally just called him her friend... Iwa, you slick wingman ;) <3 He might bully the shit out of Oikawa (to keep him in check though) but he really is his best friend :')

-Ushi says what he means and means what he says lol, yeah, he wasn't really surprised

-Y/n's friends aren't all necessarily happy about this development; they've been aware of her various interactions as they usually are (some more than others) but... they're getting older and, well, all not sharing as much with each other as they once did

-But they're still going to call her out and roast her because they're her best friends lmao who else will? They have to keep her in check too loool

-Oikawa's last reply... <33 Take it how you will :D

-And Shin just dropping in to screenshot his cousin's embarrassing moments, hoping for a dirty delete so he can roast her all over again for the same crime lmao, probably shouldn't have warned her though... whoops

-I HC the Miyas' hair dyeing happening at/around their first year of HS, anyone know any different? It was only Osamu's jacket that was grey in Y/n's peripherals, just a little tease for us all ;)

A/N: Guys, I'm really, really sorry about the Miyas' 'accent'... you might see a couple different attempts in there but I had to edit a lot of what I tried out because it sounded just awful however I was originally trying to write it earlier. If you guys do have any suggestions, I'm very much all hears (and eyes lol - heart eyes specifically because I've seen some write them incredibly well!).

That aside, I hope you all enjoyed this one, I loved writing it so much, it just flowed once I started and I love the Miya twins, each in their own way <33 I've been dying to introduce them and the other 'main' characters but there's definitely going to be a difference in the weight of interactions Y/n has for a while. It's not favoritism, I promise; Y/n's time spent with various characters is just going to be uneven at various points due to the natural progression of her story :') but I plan for it all to even out as we move along the years (:

Taglist: @delusivist, @prettyinblack231, @kac-chowsballs, @sakusasimpbot

[ghostbustermelanieking]

oddly specific memories i have of listening to tma

in honor of the finale, and because i am a sentimental asshole, i bring you this potentially uninteresting and completely pointless list. i'm gonna miss this show a lot

half my original reasoning for listening to the podcast was to motivate me to walk on the treadmill. this did not work. but i did it the first time, when i was going through the trailers and anglerfish, and i remember the room where my dad keeps the treadmill is really dark and the spooky chanting sort of freaked me out

after the treadmill, i ended up listening to the bulk of the first four episodes on the couch, and halfway through i let my oldest cat, winnie, who always lived outside (i know, i was very against actually keeping her outside) in the house. and she jumped up on the couch with me, which she literally never did. (she was very grumpy and not super affectionate.) i had that cat since i was five, and she passed last june, and i really miss her. quarantine kind of gave us the opportunity to hang out with her a lot, because we were home so much. so i'm glad these memories are kind of intersected in my mind. (below: a pic i have from that day.)

my friend sarah relistened along with me the first time around, which was extraordinarily sweet of her, and also led to some interesting interactions. for example: she forgot when it was revealed that sasha was dead, so she accidentally spoiled that for me when i asked when the others would find sasha (and i spent all of season 2 just like. anxiously vibrating over this fact). she also made this post, when i was still in like early first half of season 1, and my immediate thought was "oh no martin is dead." i hadnt even MET martin at this point

back in early quarantine, my mom had this rule that we had to do something new every day (to keep away the depression... ha ha). anyways, all i wanted to do in my free time was sit around and listen to tma (and also watch this show i was into on netflix), so i came up with some lame excuses, one of which was "i'll give myself a pedicure." this led to the memory i ultimately associate with mag 56 (trevor herbert 2) being me sitting out on our roof balcony thing, giving myself a horrendous pedicure

another time, my family wanted to go play tennis, and they brought me along and brought a hammock for me to lay in. there was this excess material from the hammock, and the sun was in my eyes, so i ended up pulling it up and over me to block the sun and creating this ridiculous hammock cocoon thing. one of the episodes i listened to that day? "tucked in."

before i ever started the show, my friend sarah stayed with me while i was pet sitting. i remember when she got there, she'd just listened to 150 and was telling me how freaky it was (she was still trying to get me into the show), and she was like "of course we're staying on a CUL DE SAC." (that was also the weekend she watched us for the first time and was very upset because i slept through the whole thing, which is scary when you're staying somewhere by yourselves.) anyways, i spent the whole show waiting for the scary cul de sac episode

while i was listening to the show for the first time, my step-dad (an artist) started painting an EYE on the door downstairs near my bathroom. a fucking EYE. he didn't finish it til i had finished the show. but still weird!!

i binged like 12 episodes in one day to finish season 4, which is not impressive at all, but it's still my personal record. i just remember staying up late in my dark bedroom (til like.... 11 i'm lame and i go to bed early), listening to like 158 & 159 & 160 and just being knocked on my ass by how good it all was... i was SUPER spoiled by this point, through my own fault, and i knew exactly what was coming, but actually experiencing it was nuts

the second week i listened live was 167, where the public release was delayed by a couple hours by accident. i spent like 20 minutes refreshing spotify, thinking it was broken, before going on tumblr and seeing what the deal was. (and 167 remains one of my favorites of s5 because i remember just going "thank god it was worth the wait.")

this one car ride where sarah and i made some of our friends listen to the first three episodes of the show. it was the middle of the night and we were just like blasting down i40 listening to anglerfish and do not open etc

the night the what the ghost episode publicly dropped was the night after my graduation, and i was sleeping out on the couch in the living room so my grandfather could sleep in a bed. it was super dark, and i am a jumpy person, and i Remember being mildly disgusted with myself because the corny sound effects were actually freaking me out. (i think i mightve actually seen something weird that night, maybe, but that's another story.)

the weekend my parents moved me into college, we couldn't get the cable in the house we were staying in, and we were all sitting around doing nothing, so i jokingly suggested starting tma with them, and they were like ok grace. my step-dad promptly fell asleep and my mom zoned out -- which is probably good, she doesn't like horror and she's super claustrophobic, so it's probably better we never got to do not open

my brief roommate in college talked about how she was into those youtube channels where people just read scary stories, so of course i was like try tma out. so she listened to the first episode on her own, and we were out one night, and she started mag 02 while i went into an ice cream place. she was into it (she kept being like open it, ya pussy) and wanted to keep listening while we went home, and even back in our room. i had only been in town for a couple weeks, and barely knew my way around, but i also didn't want to turn the gps on and be interrupted every five seconds. so i tried to find our way back on my own. it took the entirety of mag 03, and into mag 04, before i did it. so now i will forever associate across the street with all those wrong turns i took in a dark, semi unfamiliar city, trying to get back to our college without a gps

the day of the early drop for 179 was the day i moved back home from college -- a five hour drive by myself. i ended up listening to it on the final stretch of the trip, when i was super tired and it was dark and i knew it'd probably be a crazy episode. just me full blasting down i40, drinking an energy drink (which i never do) through a hole punched in the top, listening to daisy's death

186 early dropped the day after initial u.s. election day (when we still didn't know anything). my mom had set up a "watch party" in the living room with these giant air mattresses, and we all sort of spent the day crowded around the TV watching the numbers. not much of a memory, but i remember sitting on that air mattress and listening to martin's monologue in the midst of that messy week

i had a virtual therapy appointment on the day of 187's early drop, and my dad was home, so i drove to an empty parking lot to do the session in some privacy. i was trying to listen to the episode before the session started, so i ended up listening to the last half sitting in my car, in the pouring rain, just staring at my radio in shock (187 remains one of my favorite s5 episodes)

my friend sarah had just come home for winter break the day 189 dropped, and we decided to listen together, just like driving around in circles drinking coffee and listening and speculating on whether or not that was really martin

i started my relisten right after thanksgiving and was just kind of blowing through fast as i could through the whole of december. i had to go back to college to empty out my dorm, and i went to the beach after, and i ended up listening to mag 11 while just like walking around in circles in the tide pools. the closer it got to christmas, the more christmassy i wanted to keep things, so i would like. listen in the mornings and turn on one of those Netflix fireplaces and get all cozy

my other friend went with me on a mini bagel road trip in december, and he was still trying to get caught up, so we listened to mag 169, 170, and 171 on the drive home. (by this point, i was accustomed enough to s5 and smiting scenes to automatically reach for the volume controls when jude perry and jared hopworth died.)

when i relistened to mag 47, i was sitting with my cat beezus. i paused the episode to write this big long meta, so i was in a different headspace when i pressed play again. jon immediately yelled for sasha and i immediately jumped, and beezus gave me a searing glare and just got up and left

i relistened to piecemeal while i was cooking, which i thought was kind of funny and also disgusting

after christmas, i got into the habit of bringing my cat georgia into my room in the mornings, and she'd crawl under the covers with me while i listened to tma

one story i've always liked to tell from my first listen is how when i first listened to the meat arm grinder episode, my dad asked me to help him cook hamburgers later that day and explained how hamburgers are ground up (to my disgust). i hit meat grinder in my relisten and um. you'll never fucking guess what i made for lunch that day

so i had all these arbitrary rules for myself when i started tma last april, and i've broken like all of them. i started listening to tma while virtually working -- you just pull it up on your computer and it works. (i got the life scared out of me when one of my coworkers started talking over the podcast, wondering who it was that had walked into jon's office and why he wasn't reacting and why i didn't remember it.) i also started listening a lot while driving, which led to several long meta posts i wrote being typed up in a parking lot somewhere

i spent the entirety of 194 anxious-cuddling georgia. (i tried to do this for 198 and then didn't have any anxiety to cuddle her over.) i fully plan on doing this for 200, where i am sure i will need it again

my favorite place to listen to tma probably ended up being the roof room at my mom's, and unless something goes awry, this is where i will listen to the finale. (with georgia, of course.)

this list is super uninteresting, like i said, but here it is. i'm gonna miss this show a lot. i can't wait to return to it, later in life, and make all new listening memories in the process

[theficplug]

Girls Trip {Erik fic}

Warnings: 18+, smut.

{reader goes on a cruise with her girls during winter break post-breakup & meets Erik when she needs him most. The intro to a series. I hope that y'all enjoy this long ass intro x}

“Told you you'd like it! We know what you need.” your friend Lynelle says as you and your other 2 best friends step into the lobby of the ship.

Your original plan was to stay home and catch up on much needed sleep and netflix binge watching during Winter Break but Khadijah, Tasha , and Lynelle (Lennie)  had other plans.

They could never get on the same page to go on a proper vacation but the one time you wanted to be left alone they've decided to get it together. 

2 plane rides and now you're here on a cruise on the way to 'paradise'.

The last few weeks went by in a blur while you were buying bikinis, trying to contain your emotions, and leaving behind your frozen over city for Bali.

You'd be lying if you said that you weren't a little excited to be leaving behind a terrible end to a 4 year relationship.

“Girl I just paid 12 dollars for Netflix this month. I planned on staying home and re-watching The Get Down. I need to at them and ask them when they're gonna add Crooklyn." You say as your phone begins to go off. 

"Uh-uh, just cause your man had community dick don't mean you gotta feel like you did something wrong. You are the sweetest and most caring person I know and gave everything you had for that man. You are a strong beautiful talented black woman. You run your own business and don't need his ass for nothing. And if I were into girls I would've been shot my shot back in the 7th grade. Now, we gon' get tipsy, dance the night away in 23$ dollar heels, and find a fine ass beard to rid-"

You quickly cut off your best friend by answering your mother's call. You held onto Khadi's hand to let her know that her support means everything to you.

"Hey Mama. Yes I made it safe and sound." You say into the phone as you shake your head and laugh at your girls. 

"HEY MA " Khadi says waving as she smiles at the woman on the other side of the phone she's known for over half her life. 

"Hello Khadijah, are you behaving yourself ?" She asks as Khadi shakes her head with her tongue sticking out.

"MY GIRL." Your mother says as they both laugh and point at each other through the screen. 

"I'll talk to you later, enjoy yourself baby. Sometimes a little fun and laughter is the cure for heartache. Love you, be safe." She says before ending the video call.

"Alright , we all meeting up for the foam pool party after the tour right? Cause I need to shower and stuff first." You say as everybody agrees

An hour or two later you were standing in front of the hotel mirror giving yourself a pep talk in your new bikini. You eyed your reflection as you tell yourself that somebody son is gonna love on your fupa, and the 3 years wasted with Derrick isn't going to matter anymore. 

"Knees. Knees. Come on knees." Khadijah yells as Lennie and Tasha  drop it low and make it clap as a chorus of 'ayyeeee' erupts in the elevator. 

You make your way down to the lobby with the girls after throwing back a few shots in Lennie's room. You past by a group of other girls in the elevator and they were blasting Cash Shit from their phone. 

"Link up with us later." Paris says from the other group before moving over to the party already happening. 

The drinks are flowing through your system and Tasha is filming you for the gram as you sing along to the music. You accidentally trip backwards onto a man behind you before immediately apologizing and giggling.

"You good mama." He says as he catches you with one hand and the other still holding his drink. Without missing a beat he twirls you to the beat so that you can play it off. 

"What's the nigga name?" He asks as he takes another sip of his drink and tries to act like he ain't see you watching the suds slide down his scarred and chiseled chest to his happy trail.  

"Excuse me?" You ask confused as he flashes his gold fanged grill and cock his head towards the phone in Tasha's hand as she gives you a quiet  'oooh shit okay'. 

"The one you tryna prove a point to. Only name that matters now though is Erik." He says as he grinds against you and move your braids to your other shoulder. 

"Alright Erik, lemme see if you can keep up then." You tease him as you begin to whine on him and ride the beat as he keeps up behind you. You realize you have an audience now with his boys glancing over at you and your girls watching him. 

His hand holds you in place before he asks if it's alright if he kissed you. You nod before you know it his soft ass lips are on yours. He pulls at your bottom lip slightly while you continue to whine on him. 

"Thank you for the dance." You say before you place one final kiss to his lips as the song ends.

You walk over to Tasha before grabbing her hand and leaving to find Lennie and Khadijah 

You knew he was still standing there watching you walk away you turned to give him a look over your shoulder with a raised brow.

"Stop watching my booty" you mouth at him jokingly 

"YOU CAN'T EVEN BLAME ME. ITS FAT AS FUCK." He yells back to you over the music.

After an hour of dancing and having a good time with friends you only checked your phone once to find 3 messages from Derrick begging you to call him then two talking about how disappointed he was with you.

You stepped out onto the upper deck to tell him to stop calling you and ruining your good time. 

"I can do what I want. I'm fucking grown. All you ever did was sit at home on your ass and criticize me for every damn thing I did. I made sure you were happy when I wasn't even okay… And fucking my cousin was your way of showing me you loved me huh? Don't call me no more and stop calling my mama asking her about me too. " You yell into the phone before hanging up.

You stand there staring out at the ocean for a moment. Trying to breathe deeply and ground yourself so that you don't cry.

"You good?" You hear a voice call from behind you.

"What, you following me now?" You ask Erik as he pulls up one of the lounge chairs to sit next to you and light his blunt. 

"Nah, not at all. I came out here to smoke and chill. All that going on in there really ain't my scene. My boys got me to come here. They got white boys in there doing backflips off the balcony and shit. I probably would've still been at work right now." He say as he exhales and leans back against the lounge chair. 

You laugh softly before shaking your head. 

"That's how I ended up here. I was planning on spending Christmas and The New Year at home with my family. But my friends had this surprise for me to ring in the new year in Bali. And now here I am. I'd still rather be watching Godfather of Harlem. I gotta catch up." You say sitting next to him in the lounge chair. He instinctively wraps his arm around you letting you lay your head on his shoulder.

Granted, it probably seemed weird as hell to be cuddling with somebody you just met and barely knew but to both of you it just felt right in the moment.

"Godfather of Harlem ? That show is my shit. It's slept on forreal… If you ever in Oakland you should stop by sometime. I run a museum based on preserving black art and culture." He scrolls on his phone until he finds some of the pieces and shows it to you. But the main thing that stood out was Stevens Black Art & History: for the culture. 

"Erik Stevens?" You gasp and sit up to get a good look at him

"Yeah , why you looking like that? What's up?" He questions

"Oh my fucking God. We was best friends back in the day. It's me, look, minus the bifocals, braces, and that James Brown bob my mama gave me damn near every day." You say and he stares at you in awe for a second. 

"Damn it's really you." You says quietly as he runs his thumb over your cheek imagining you the way you looked in 5th grade.

You loved Erik growing up and spent almost all of your time together but after his father died you didn't get to say goodbye. He was taken into the system and after that you heard that he was in the military doing who knows what. You tried to find him but after a while it was no use. You couldn't believe how different he looked now. He looked tired down by the woes of life but still as beautiful as the day you met him.

" 'Member this?" You ask as you fish your out of the pocket of your cover-up and start playing Best Friend by 50 Cent. 

You watched as he looked up at you standing up to dance. You pull him up too as he puts out the blunt while laughing and stepping with you. 

"If I was your best friend, I want you 'round all the time. Can I be your best friend, if you promise you'll be mine?" You sing to him as he twirls you around 

"First we get the talkin, then we get the touchin. If we get pass the phone games we'll be fuckin. I kiss like the french therefore my tongue in your ear. Do it like the dogs do it girl and pull on your hair. For me a different scenery just mean a different position. In the tub or on the sink I improvise now listen. In the chopper or on the jet join the mile high club. I'm no fool I know money can't buy me love. But I'm a different type of nigga that make sure that you know. Instead of a rose, there's a hundred dozen of those. See I see somethin special when I look in your eyes. With your legs way back I see this pussy is mine. If you ain't sure when I'm talkin I don't tell you no lies. But there's things that you say that have me wonderin why. When I don't say what I'm thinkin it don't mean that I'm shy. Got on that shit you picked out for me that's why I'm so fly." He raps effortlessly while kissing softly on your neck and all those memories start flashing back to you as you sway with him.

"Damn you still remember all the lyrics to our song." You say to him as you look over to see your girls and some of his friends.

"You out here ?  Bitch! I thought I was gonna have to do an interview on First 48 for yo ass. I was gon' drop a raft over to come find you. You know I can't swim and I don't got my floaties with me." Khadi says as she walks in with Tasha and Lennie . 

"I'm sorry I came out here for fresh air and then ended up literally finding my fuckin childhood best friend. Before the baddest bitches on the planet came to be. There was THEE duo. Everybody meet Erik."

After everyone got to know each other. Y'all brought the party to the secluded little upper deck with the perfect view of the ocean. You had drinks , music, and good company almost enough to forget about the whole situation back home. 

"Girl you know I love you but my feet hurt and Sebastian said he gon' rub em" referring to the man she currently had her arms around. 

"Alright , we'll meet up in the morning for breakfast" you tell them before giving them kisses goodbye and heading out with everybody. 

Tasha and Lynelle were currently singing to each other and sharing cute kisses off to the side. You couldn't help but to smile and think of how true love must feel. To love and be fully loved back like that.

You were standing in front of your opened room door when you realized that his room is across from yours but he had no plans of sleeping in it.

"Uh-uh. Who said you were invited in?" You ask Erik with your index finger on his chest. 

"I thought you said you wanted to watch Netflix? We can order room service and everything. Whatever you want" he says to you licking his lips and closing the gap between the two of you. 

"I want to forget. I want to have fun. I want to feel loved and appreciated for once. That would be nice." You say quietly as he takes his hand in yours. Pressing small kisses to each of your knuckles.

He hesitates for a moment before leaning in to kiss you slowly. He held your face in his hands as he continued to back you into the room kicking it closed with his foot. 

 "I'm glad that we found each other. After all of this time. " You say to him in between kisses

"Believe it or not I kept that picture of us. The one your mama took of us at the zoo next to the monkeys. I took it with me on tour everywhere. Right next to my mama's picture in my wallet. I never lost a battle. I made it home in one piece. Shits wild." He said zoning out for a moment like he was going somewhere else. 

"Heyyy." You call softly. You move his hands from your waist 

" I've got you." You whisper to him before leading him to your bed and laying him back. 

You wrap your arms around him almost cuddling him as you lay your head on his chest while listening to his heartbeat and sitting on his lap. 

You place a soft kiss to his lips before moving away from the bed to change, settling on a large shirt and nothing else. 

Erik followed suit and just stripped to his boxer briefs before you come back to the bed carrying soda , your laptop, and snacks. 

"And before you ask. Yes, I packed my laptop because work never stops, and yes I packed snacks because I can't find Takis out here." You say chuckling softly while he shakes his head laughing softly. 

You both settle into a comfortable position before loading up the movie. You settled on Nappily Ever After but it wasn't long before he was softly kissing on your neck with his hand under your shirt.

"Gonna eat it from the back. That's cool with you" he mumble into your ear.

If that's cool with me? BIH, I'm trying to let you give me twins. Triplets even. Play it cool. Play it cool . You thought to yourself before saying a silent apology to your girl Sanaa Lathan as you quickly moved the laptop to the bedside table.

"Damn she pretty." He says before kissing each cheek and gripping the back of your thighs. You knew what was coming next as your hands found the headboard and arched your back.

You can feel his tongue begin to explore the back of your thighs to your folds as he bends you forward. 

You hiss softly as his hand began to roam. You looked back at him as his fingers enter you. He begins to slowly and deeply work you open for him. You knew that you were dripping at this point and couldn't contain how loud you're being.

You can hear him let out a groan as he gets his first taste. Before you know it he's devouring you like you're his favourite meal and is completely in his element. His hands are massaging over your cheeks while he suckles your clit and then slides his tongue in. You begin to work your hips down onto it as he's on his knees behind you. His fingers massaging skillfully over your clit. 

"That's how you want it? It's all for you." You egg him on shakily as you reach back to grab at his dreads knowing that you're nearing your orgasm. You thought you were seeing stars but the audacity of this man bringing his hand down hard across your left then right cheek and then the pom-pom itself, did it.

Your toes curled and your head was tilted back as you continued to ride his face and the orgasmic wave crashed over you so hard it took your breath with it. 

You called out his name speaking in all types of broken Xhosa as he begin to lap you up and savour your taste. 

When you stopped shaking he sat back on the bed, proud of himself as he licked his lips. 

You turned to face him and he wasted no time continuing to massage you.

But what you hadn't realized during changing you accidentally dialed Derrick. Who's now on the other end, yelling into the phone 

{to be continued! I hope that it was alright!}

[roseyserpents]

Don't Hold Me

Summary: After Sweet Pea is cheated on, he doesn't believe he can be loved again. You try to convince him otherwise.

Word count: 1,787

Warnings: cheating, self-doubt

A/N: this is based off Don't Hold Me: by Dean Lewis (one of my fav songs) sorry if this is bad I just wanted to get something out because I haven't posted in a while

Posted: April 14, 2020 7:00 P.M. EDT

Have you ever wished you could rewind

Have you ever lived on borrowing time

Knowing your mistakes are chasing you down from behind

When he first found out, Sweet Pea didn't want to believe she could do it. He didn't believe the girl he'd said he'd loved and returned the words could hurt him so deeply and painfully. He'd rounded the corner of the street on his way to the Whyte Wyrm and down the alley he saw her pressed against a wall with her lips kissing someone else's the way they kissed his own. The breath was taken from his lungs at the sight as he tried to tell himself it was a trick of the shadows all the way back to his trailer. He replayed the scene over and over in his head as he finally realized that exact moment was the end of his relationship with who he thought was the love of his life.

He looked back into the relationship and looked for mistakes he made, holes in the fabric that were unnoticed. He tried to see when these mistakes caught up to him and led to her going to someone else that night. He wanted to go back, rewind and fix what he was certain had to have been broken to cause this. He wanted to gather up the pieces that'd been chipped off and somehow put them back together to fix what was beyond repair.

When she got home that night, Sweet Pea couldn't even bring himself to look her in the eye; to touch her that night or pay attention to the kiss she pressed to his cheek. He couldn't stop himself from thinking about how her lips had been on someone else's less than an hour before and she could go on and lie with him like she wasn't destroying him.

He tried to keep the relationship going on its last leg, unable to bring himself to call it off with her because despite it all he loved her; he loved her even when her love was a lie. He wanted so badly to repair them, but eventually he realized he was living on borrowed time with her. One day he told her he saw them that night. The break up was messy and painful with screaming and regrets ending with her picking up and walking out the door. After that, Sweet Pea wasn't Sweet Pea much. He didn't have a shine in his eyes as he'd used to, a smile rarely making its way on to his face. His heart felt broken and lost, to pained to pick itself back up again and repair the damage she'd done.

And then one Summer, you came into town. You were bright and sweet and kind and everything Sweet Pea was missing. You joined the Serpents and he saw you everyday, your contagious smile from across the room or the sound of your laughter at someone telling a joke. He noticed you and something in him seemed to pull towards you but he was still to hurt to try to talk to you.

You saw him, too. When you were welcomed into Riverdale, you saw the serpent with a distant look in his eyes and who looked away every time you caught his gaze. You tried to learn more about him from Fangs and Toni, but they wouldn't tell you what had caused his distancing and coldness towards everyone else. They told you it wasn't their story to tell, this only making you want to know him more.

"Hi, Sweet Pea, right?" You greeted after the urge to know more about the mysterious serpent grew stronger.

"You are?" He asked with an indifference in his voice, his gaze harsh as he looked down at you.

"Y/n. I thought you'd like to talk." You explain.

"And why's that?" He asks.

"Because I've noticed your not-so-discreet staring."

He gives you a look you can't quite figure out as if he's judging the options in front of him before his stance seems to relax.

"So, what do you want to talk about?"

Over the course of that summer you grew closer and closer to Sweet Pea, your light seeming to fill some of the cracks in his heart. The two of you spent much of your free time together, the closest he'd been to anyone since her. He felt not just happier with you, but lighter as if a weight he'd been carrying around had been lifted off of him. He still couldn't bring himself to admit to the butterflies that flew through his stomach when he saw you, fearing if he did he'd make mistakes again and something would go wrong as it always seemed to.

"Hey Sweets?" You say. The two of you sit at the Quarry where the sun that is split by the branches dots your skin and the gentle water below.

"Yeah?" He wasn't quite paying attention, more of his focus on trying to skip rocks as they sink time after time.

"Have you ever thought of us being more than friends?"

He goes quiet and the rocks stop gliding across the surface of the Quarry, the only noise being that of moving leaves. You turn to look at him and find him seemingly lost in his own world, his eyes looking somewhere further than you could travel.

"Pea?" You ask, reaching out and placing your hand on his arm. He jumps up to his feet, something raw in his eyes as he seemed to remember where he was.

"I-I can't. Sorry."

Before you could say anything else he walked, almost ran away from you and your question. You didn't understand what had caused this bizarre reaction, trying to figure out which signs you read wrong and where. You thought he'd felt the same about you, the way he went out of his way to be near you or make plans with you.

"I just don't get it Toni," You sigh, sitting at the mostly empty bar with your pink-haired friend, "It just seems like everything was lined up but then he just left. He said he can't. What does that mean?"

"That sounds like something you should ask him." She says, raising her brow, "There's something holding him back from being in a relationship with anyone. He was hurt."

"This major event that you all keep talking about but won't tell me? You want me to ask him about that after I already screwed up?" You ask.

"Y/n, he'll tell you if he wants you to know." Toni explains. "You should go talk to him if you're really that set on knowing."

"I love you, but you're really frustrating sometimes." You sigh before walking out of the bar and heading towards Sunnyside Trailer park.

I know it's hard to replace

But the feelings that you had for me, will one day be erased

And you will learn to move on

Like footprints in the snow

Are lost when the winter's gone

"Pea?" You call out as you open the door to his trailer. You find him sitting on his couch with his head in his hands. He looked up and you could see tear tracks staining his cheeks, his eyes red and rubbed raw.

You sit down next to him and cautiously put your hand on his arm again, his body stiffening.

"You'll move on." He whispers. "You'll forget about ever having feelings for me at all. It'll be like a momentary emotion that fades. It always fades."

"What happened?" You ask softly, wanting to know what caused this much pain that still lasted a year later, that made him believe people couldn't love him. After a few more moments of silence he finally revealed to you the story of the girl he'd loved and lost to someone else. He told you how it shattered his view of the world and how he realized no matter what he made mistakes that would kill any relationship he'd be in.

"You are not unlovable, Sweets." You say, taking his hand in yours. "That wasn't your fault. She made the mistake of giving up the most amazing man anyone could have."

Oh you must let go of me

'Cause if you keep me you will lose it all

So darling don't please, please

Don't hold me 'cause I am falling back down

And I wouldn't wanna see you hit the ground

Well little darling you found my heart in the lost and found

But the scars they still follow me around

"You don't want to love me. Don't love me. If you do I'll just bring you down with me, and I don't want to see you fall. I'm broken and scarred. You're amazing and full of life and just everything I'm not." He says.

He speaks so harsh of himself you look to his face to find an expression that says he's joking but you find one of seriousness and self loathing. He truly believed he couldn't be loved because of this one girl who cheated on him.

"Listen to me," You say sternly, your hand coming up to hold his cheek and make him look at you. "I love you. I love every piece of you, even if some of those pieces might be broken or damaged. I know what she did was horrible and in no way did you deserve that, but none of it was your fault. She made those decisions and none of them were based off of what you did in your relationship."

"But I-"

"No buts. You are not unlovable and you are not just a person who only makes mistakes. You made me love you, Sweet Pea. I love all of this amazingly wonderful person in front of me."

It's quiet again, the two of you looking at each other and you trying to read his thoughts through his eyes. There's a million thoughts racing through his mind as he tries to believe what you said. Maybe it wasn't him, maybe he could be in a relationship with you.

Sweet Peas hand comes up and rests on top of yours on his cheek, his thumb running over the top of your hand. He moves to cup your cheek before pulling you closer and pressing a soft kiss to your lips that spread warmth through his chest and further strengthened his belief in your words. The two of you pull away, wrapped up in each other and lost in the still lasting feeling of the kiss.

"You can love me." He whispers.

"Oh yeah?" You reply, a smile dancing on your face.

"Yeah."

[vesuviannights]

CLAIRE, THANK YOU FOR THE FOOD!!!! SDGS i really cannot express how much i love your writing. You make my day every time you post anything, and I check your blog at least twice a day to make sure I didn't miss a thing!! Also, I was in a mood for some Julian/MC/Asra lately and was wondering if you could write something like it 💦 Something a bit fluffy would be wonderful, but I'll take anything. Thank you for everything that you do, hope you have a lovely day!!! ILYSM

oh BLESS!! I know this has been in my inbox for a while so I’m hoping everything after you sent this has still lived up to expectation. 

Now, as it turns out, I was…ALSO in the mood for Julian/MC/Asra?? And FLUFF?? And also in the mood to play around with polyamory and the idea that when placed together in any sort of intimate relationship, Asra would 100% egg Julian’s dramatic flair on, and Julian would pretty much let Asra do whatever he wanted so long as he was allowed to be dramatic in return and rewarded for it. 

And then there’s poor MC in the middle of it all, daily having to come to terms that THIS is what they agreed to. THIS is what they fell in love with.

Asra/You/Julian. Female/afab reader. Lemon.

On the morning of your birthday, you wake sandwiched between your two loves. Asra tells you, as he brushes the hair off your face and traces the curve of your bottom lip, that he has many things on his to-do list for the day - and you are every item, A-Z.

You wake the morning of your birthday to beams of sunlight stretching over the bed, warming your body as the dust of the room dances about inside of them.

It’s your bed this morning, tucked away in the highest corner of the shop, and as wonderful and warm as your bed is, it was not built for Devoraks. Julian’s long, lithe limbs are hanging off the foot of the bed, off the side he is occupying, one arm curled haphazardly over his face. He is snoring softly as he sleeps, deep and undisturbed since the moment his tired, aching bones hit your mattress late last night.

On your other side is Asra, curled into you with his hand under your shirt, tracing intricate patterns on your stomach you’re sure would amass to something—a spell, a term of endearment, the lyrics to a song—if you could only be bothered to pay attention.

“Happy birthday, my love,” he murmurs in your ear. He catches the lobe between his teeth, and your body seems to move into him of its own accord, stretching out along the length of his own.

“Is that what today is?” You murmur, your eyes fluttering shut. Asra chuckles, one that tells you he doesn’t believe your innocent act for even a moment, and your lips twitch in response, giving away the final shreds of your game all too easily.

Asra shifts beside you, and a moment later his hand has left your stomach and slid into your hair, cupping the back of your head. His thumb traces your bottom lip, then your cheek bone, and you crack one eye open to look at him, at least trying to pretend he is disturbing your sleep.

“That look hardly scares me,” he tells you.

“Well it should.”

“How could it, when you are the most wonderful thing I know, and I would let you do anything you wanted or needed to me?”

You try to roll your eyes, try to downplay his affections with a shake of your head, but your cheeks are flushed, and he never lets you get away with rebuffing his lovely words for very long. His lips meet yours, and the kiss he gives you—the first of your birthday this year—is slow, longing, with wondrous sighs and deep inhales. His palm smooths down your neck, your shoulder, over your body, until it cups the back of your calf and pulls your knee up to his hip. He grinds into you, just as tenderly and as slowly as your kiss is moving, and your murmur your approval back to him.

Some minutes later, when Asra’s hips are still pressed into yours, and he is smiling and murmuring to you, pulling back to kiss the tip of your nose, the curve of your jaw, the divot at the base of your neck, you are disturbed by a quiet grumble that neither of you have given. The bed seems to lurch dramatically behind you, and a moment later another arm—longer, a little colder—circles around your waist and pulls you away from Asra and into a hard chest.

“Don’t be mean,” Julian grumbles into the back of your head. And then, much quieter and in a tone that suggests he had cut half of his own words off out of laziness, “Always having fun without me.”

His words are a little slurred from the early hour, and his movements are sluggish, as though his body was only half aware of itself. You exchange a look with Asra, waiting to see how Julian’s interruption will play out. But he merely nuzzles into the back of your neck, murmuring nonsense as he resettles with you against his chest, leg hooked over yours. It seems, with his content sighs and soft, even breaths, as though he is going to settle back into sleep and leave the two of you to your ways.

When that single thought seems to cross both of your minds at the same time, Asra shifts closer and presses into your front, pushes your hair off your face as he speaks.

“I won’t be letting the least favourite Devorak stop me from checking boxes off my morning to-do list.”

You scrunch your nose. “I’m a check list, am I?”

Asra’s eyes dance as he eyes you over, his lips so close that they brush yours as he murmurs to you,  “You are every item on the checklist, A through Z. And I make a new dot point for every place I wish to kiss you, and a new tally mark for every time I wish to hear you sigh my name.”

“And how many are there this morning?”

“You’ll see.”

He kisses you again, his tongue cool as it slips into your mouth and greedily sweeps up every sigh you have waiting there for him. At some point during your exchange, Julian has woken again—properly this time, it seems—and as Asra’s hand squeezes the soft flesh of your breast, and as he lazily drags his thumb over your nipple through the fabric covering it, Julian stretches out around you and grinds his already hardening length into your ass.

“So wonderful of you to join us, Ilya,” Asra murmurs. You like nothing about the innocent, lilting tone you find there. “Do you know what today is?”

Asra shifts down your body as he speaks, taking the nipple he had been teasing moments earlier between his lips, sucking gently. You whimper against him, your bottom lip trembling at the warmth of his tongue and mouth. The moment your fingertips delve into his soft waves to try and hold him there, however, he is taking your wrists and passing them to Julian before moving further down your body.

“Dearest Asra, is it the day you finally break my heart by insulting me one too many times and with too much thinly-veiled truth?” Julian offers. He matches Asra’s tone perfectly, and it only serves to unnerve you a little bit more. The two of them could play games for hours when it came to dramatics and flair, and when those games were focused on you? Oh no.

Asra has settled between your legs, and as Julian was teasing you with his words, Asra was doing some of his own, placing tender kisses along the inside of your thighs. You are already aching, already trembling from the possibility of a touch, alongside the unspoken promise that you would have to endure their teasing dramatics while waiting for it.

“You would enjoy it,” Asra tells Julian, his lips curving affectionately against your skin.

“Ah, you know me too well. Will you break it if I’m good, just for the thrill?”

“If you are good, then I’ll consider it.”

“I’m always good.”

“Then I will always consider it.”

“CAN YOU FOCUS!?”

You snap it, almost scream it in a voice that breaks halfway through your words. Your thighs are trembling beneath the ministrations of Asra’s lips, and you are already aching from each hot breath he has (through no accident) let pass over you, from the way his knuckle is barely touching you as it traces your seam through the fabric.

“Well,” Julian scoffs, though he is grinning into your neck. “With an attitude like that, I’d find it hard to focus on anything.”

“It’s my birthday!��� You grumble. “I’m meant to be—”

“Barking orders at people?” Asra cuts you off. You open your eyes to find Asra grinning, the mischievous spark in his eyes telling you all you needed to know.

Julian tuts. “It’s a good thing you aren’t the one whose pleasure rests on your good behaviour.”

“You should take this chance to prove yourself, Ilya,” Asra says. “Be good by helping her be good.”

Julian makes a thoughtful noise, and you know that Asra’s careful touches are strategic, trying to distract you from squirming away or picking up on the hidden meaning in their words. You try so very hard to dissect them, but all you can really manage is to sigh out Asra’s name, back and hips arching toward him like a kitten in sunlight.

“I never mind being told exactly what to do by you, love,” Julian eventually answers. The lilt is back, that tone. “But, I also never shy away from a chance to watch you pout.”

Julian’s arm tightens around your waist as his words sink into your addled mind, a mere moment before Asra hooks his fingertips into your undergarments and pulls them down. You lift your hips to let him remove them, but he leaves them around your knees, locking them together with just enough space for him to begin his true work.

He traces the tip of a single finger down your seam, passing it over once, twice, before gently parting your folds. You roll your hips toward his touch, your back arching along with it, but Julian’s hold stops you from moving too far, from being too successful in seeking more.

Asra’s movements and affections are practised and knowing from so many hours spent between your thighs, as well as Julian’s. You know if he were ever forced to choose a favourite pair of thighs, he would blow the last of his braincells trying to comprehend that he had to choose, let alone in making that choice.

You had once—on a cold winter’s night where you had refused to move from in front of the fireplace—let him feast on you for hours while you whimpered and cried, and Julian had held you and told you how well you were doing, had described in detail how wonderful every part of you was, until you hadn’t been able to stand it any longer, throat too raw, clit too swollen. The very next morning, you had been given the pleasure of watching him overstimulate Julian under the table while you made your way through a stack of pancakes, grinning and flushed from the sight of Julian’s trembling lips and white-knuckles as he had come over and over and over again.

This morning though, gluttony is not Asra’s sin of choice. The flat of his tongue swipes in one slow, long, frustrating motion over the length of you, before flicking its tip over your clit, causing your entire body to jerk. His index finger is gently probing at your entrance, gathering your arousal and smearing it around before sliding in. He crooks it, slow and soft, almost lazily, and smiles into you as you shiver and whimper.

“Oh—” Your entire body shudders and shivers from the sensations. “Asra—”

“Does he make you feel good, love?” Julian asks.

You nod pathetically, reaching back to bury your hands in Julian’s bed-mussed curls. You tug on them as you shift and groan, and you feel his cock twitch at your lower back in response.

“You look so beautiful like this,” Asra murmurs his praise to you against your thigh, his gaze burning across your body as he slides a second finger into you, his tongue continuing to trace indecipherable patterns over your swollen clit. “Your cheeks flushed, hands in Ilya’s hair—you know he loves it so when you pull a little too tight.”

Julian nuzzles into your neck and sighs his agreement, and you pull a little harder in response. He whimpers at the pain, and his hips grind against the curve of your ass. As Asra slowly brings you toward your edge with his crooking, twisting fingers and practised tongue, you can vaguely hear him murmuring to you about how well you are doing, how wonderful you look flushed and spread above him, chest heaving, body shaking. His words come to you through a lusty, heady haze, as though being said to you from another room or through a memory, and you aren’t even sure if you’re managing to babble or murmur anything in response.

While Asra works to disorientate and unravel you, Julian is leaving marks in all of his favourite places—your collarbone, the tender flesh just beneath your ear, the back of your shoulder. His hands find you underneath your shirt, cupping the swell of each of your breasts. He squeezes and rolls them in his large palms, making spots dance in your vision, sensation popping in the peaks of your tight nipples.

“J-Julian—Asra—” You stumble over each of their names as you try to get their attention, but Julian merely sighs into your neck and Asra seems to be pointedly ignoring you, and you let out a whine as you feel his movements begin to slow inside and around you. “No no—faster, go faster, damnit! Please, it feels so good, I-I’m so—so close—ah!”

You cry out as Asra’s teeth graze against your swollen clit, followed immediately by his lips latching onto the bud and beginning to mercilessly suck. With his fingers crooking and twisting and spreading you apart, and Julian’s thumbs toying with your stiff nipples, his lips pressed against your ear and murmuring his affections, you are coming apart in moments, writhing and whimpering and moaning softly in their arms, your body shivering and aching and falling apart, all just for them.

Your lashes flutter against your cheeks as you come down from your high, and you are only vaguely aware of Asra’s lips trailing their way back up your body. He kisses each of your thighs, he kisses each of your hips, he kisses the exposed skin between Julian’s fingers, cupped around your breasts. And then he finally kisses your lips, letting you taste yourself. When his tongue sweeps into your mouth, you suck gently, and the soft moan he gives you in return has your body already awakening and greedy for more.

He pulls back after a few moments, tilting your head away with his fingertips so that he can kiss Julian, too, giving him the taste of you that he couldn’t have for himself. You know he will, though; Julian is a man greedy for every piece of you and of Asra, and the twitching of his cock against your ass, the grinding and thrusting he has been doing as Asra devoured your pussy and left you shaken and raw, is not something that can be ignored.

“Happy birthday to me,” you murmur, catching your bottom lip between your teeth. Asra pulls back from Julian to watch the action, and as your hand runs down Asra’s chest toward his bulge, you smile. “How many more things are on that list of yours?”

Asra’s eyes cloud over as your hand closes around his cock, his jaw dropping open. Julian shifts his hips behind you, never one to be forgotten, and you are once again pressed in between them—only this time, you are not the one who is begging to be paid attention to, and have every opportunity to seize control and make them pay, so should you wish,

“I think,” Asra says after a long moments pause, his entire body rolling into yours as you pull ever-so-slightly on his cock. His eyes lift to yours, a few shades darker, a few shades more mischievous. “You already know the answer to that.”

[zombiiesque]

New Year's Eve in St. Petersburg, FL

Happy New Year!

Originally published on 1/20/2020

Hello, all! Happy New Year to you. I hope your holidays were wonderful, and I wish you lots of light and a prosperous year to come. I had hoped to get my Nocturne Alchemy Holiday order reviews up in December, but I got so busy after Thanksgiving that it didn't happen, and I am sorry for that. I rarely make resolutions, but I do try to set goals for myself, and this year I want to be more organized about writing, including here at Zombiiesque. (Plus, I am overdue for a little redesign for both sites, so that's another goal!) I am going to get my second post in the seasonal series up this month, NA for winter.

But I'd like to talk about some of my favorite perfumes from Nocturne Alchemy for 2019, a look back. It was a stellar year of releases, including some PC (Permanent Collection) releases, and a good bit of additions to the SL (Studio Limited) section, which has always been one of my favorite sections of their catalogue! I will also be including perfumes that I had rediscovered in 2019 after socking them away to age, as there were many that really delighted after some time to sit.

I'll start out though, with the seasonal offerings that I loved. The year for NA started after a little break, as it will this year, with the Valentine, and Valentine Resurgence, LCs (Limited Collections). By the way, you can find the entirety of the LC releases and the notes over at the Nocturne Alchemy LC Archives, if you ever need them! From the Resurgence, I have and love Vanilla Wedding Cake - I usually shy away from the more gourmand perfumes, but I find myself opening up to those more and more, because NA is really wooing me with what are, for me, very wearable gourmands - and if you've been reading Zombiiesque for any length of time, it's obvious my wheelhouse are the woods/resins/incense/musks. This year they came out with two new things that I found extremely intriguing, the NA Bunnies, and the Candied series. I actually did some swapping to get my Valentine perfumes, which is always fun, and wound up with Speckle Bunny, Star Bunny, and Midnite Bunny. I originally got a sample of Midnite Bunny, and didn't know if I was going to care for it, as sometimes spices can go seriously awry on me, but wow, it knocked me off my feet. It's SEXY. I love all three Bunnies that I got, but Midnite Bunny was the surprise hit for me. And I wound up with a full sized Candied Egyptian Musk, and a sample of Candied Crimson - and those are both glorious! I think I would probably love the frankincense, myrrh, and sandalwood variations, too, but those two musks are just beautiful. This collection also saw the Bastet’s Ice Cream bois d’epices et de crème, which was new. I received a sample of the Teak & Sandalwood, and I thought it might be something that would smell great on a man. So I made my fiance experiment with it - and W O W. Also wound up going back and buying a full sized bottle for him because it was just jaw dropping - if you have the opportunity to try this out (on your guy, or yourself if you are a guy reading this) I highly recommend it. It works on me too, but it is just perfection on him.

Sadly, I missed out on both of the Spring LCs, but I was wearing a lot of the Art of Love/Art of Literature , and falling for them all over again. Those were huge collections, and an absolute treasure trove of wonderful scents - Enigma, Overseer, Pandora, Music, Ophelia, Holy Grail....the list goes on and on. I also wore the Bunnies and Candied Crimson/Candied Egyptian Musk long into spring, as well as some of my beloved PCs.

July brought the Summer LC collections, and Oh. My. Gods, the beginning of the Eternal Egypt Anniversary collection. As Eternal Egypt is one of my desert island scents, I was....a little obsessed. I have three of the first round, EE Vanille, Santal, and Ambre, and adore all three, huge favorites this year. Still wearing them well into winter. They also did the Eternal Summer subcollection, and my other favorite was absolutely Eternal Egypt Summer and I wore it so, so much. Sublime. Really a stunner of a chypre! I also have really loved so much of the Summer Teas and Tea Service, and have written about so many of them. They are constantly in rotation in the summer for me, especially, of course, my beloved Green Tea Crimson, and this summer was no exception, as it's also one of my fiance's favorites. But they also came out with some new offerings and of those I got Chamomile, Vanilla, & Spice Tea, which sounded very intriguing - and Agave Nectar from the Tea Service. Highly recommend them both, and they pair absolutely perfectly together! I also had missed Apricot Sugar the year before, and my best friend, who is also my skin twin, loved that one so much, I made sure to pick it up from the Resurgence. Whew, am I glad I did - I love it with literally everything I have tried. It's extremely versatile, and so beautiful.

September, Bastet's Bazaar came rolling in - and I was swept off my feet by her ChakRA collection. Oh, if I had only been able to get the whole thing! I would have loved to do it. I managed to get three of these - Ajna, the dark blue one, Svadhishthana, the orange, and Muladhara, the red. Truly all three ChakRAs I have are fantastic, absolute perfection. Wonderful for meditation. And they continued the Eternal Egypt Anniversary celebration with Bastet's Bazaar, so I grabbed Eternal Egypt Incense - and I. Freaking. Love. IT! Might...just might...be my favorite of all of them. But it's hard to choose.

Okay, with that we are falling headlong into my favorite collection of the year, NAlloween. Pfffft no self restraint, and I loved everything I grabbed. I rediscovered V by Thoth, and it had aged into something so, so swoonworthy. And my bottle of The Mummy Returns - it, too, had changed so much. I loved it fresh, but aged? I was completely obsessed and wore it so much this fall. I was able to grab Pirate Rum for my fiance, as his absolute favorite scent by NA is Ghost Ship, and they have a similar vibe, although they're different. Can absolutely report that Pirate Rum is fantastic on him, also. Scarlet Bat from last year also got a lot of love, and as a matter of fact I just wore it again for the end of the year. And I would be remiss if I didn't mention Seth's Sleepyceratops, I wore this all year this year, and it is a wonderful sleep scent. But I haven't even touched on the new Halloween release, and....I just went for it. I got Blood, Blackout, Blood Queen, Moonsand, Mummy's Spirit, and Skeletonic....all were huge wins for me. And of course, the fan favorite this year was Vampire Bourbon Patchouli Bat - whew. It was a DO NOT MISS. Absolute perfection, and very worthy of being a fan favorite! The sample they gave out this year was for the PC offering, they do a new Halloween scent every year, and Halloween 2020 is just not to be missed. Seriously, what stellar fall offering. I loved every single one of my choices!

The Holiday collection is probably my second favorite of the year. Last year, they came out with the two Copals - Vanilla and Sandalwood - and they were instant fan favorites. I knew I was going to love them both, so I did grab them last year, but I was not prepared for how much MORE beautiful they had become with age! Unfh. So those both got a lot of wear starting in November for me, and I wore Sandalwood Copal for New Year's Day, too. From the Resurgence collection, though, I really fell for Holiday Rex this year, hatching it with several vanillas and finding it was perfect every time. Vampire Cardamom Bat was a surprise hit for me last year, and I found myself reaching for it so many times this year. It's such a snuggly scent. I have to tell y'all, I missed out on Cherry Bourbon Vanille last year, and I regretted not grabbing it, so I definitely went back for it, and it became a surprise favorite this year. I love that tobacco note! It's so beautiful. That brings me into the new Holiday LC release, and ... wow, there was so much that sounded like perfection, so I kinda threw myself headfirst into it and did not have a single miss. I picked up, and love, Crystalline Chai, Vanilla Dreams, Private Universe, and Royal Elephant. Vanilla Dreams is an amazing, cozy, sleep scent. Crystalline Chai feels like snuggling in a comfy chair with a throw blanket, with snow falling outside. Yep, it really gave me quite a visual response! And of course, the last two Eternal Egypt Anniversaries came out - EE Frankincense, and EE Myrrh. Had to get them both, and I am so glad I did - they are lovely worn on opposite wrists, and lovely layered together.

Okay. Whew! That's just the LCs, y'all. And I .... I love them all. So maybe I will break this into a second part, to talk about my PC loves from 2019 tomorrow. I'd hate to overwhelm y'all!