#last night too and anyway i cant help but wish that one i had had male friends leading up to this point but i also wish something couldve
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college … wasted on the youth (me)
#didnt help that 2/4 yrs was covid telezoom but man.. MANNN#forgetting how impossible it is to pursue rhe degree plan u actually want (advising hell) i feel like . theres just#so many diff things i want to learn now Knowing that im more solidified in my interests and who i am and what i would be interested in doing#and like.😭RGAAAAAQH TEARING MYHAIR OUTTT every other week i have a night where im sititng there like damn i couldve been sm1 completely dif#dgmw i still rly enjoy some of the upper div classes i Did take but what if i took x and liked it more or minored in y and it led me to z#bc i do feel rly set in where i am rn which . i DO ! like it but im never gna be in that environment where u have the flexibility to explore#ykwim . i wish i had taken physics and calc srsly . i always thought i hated that shit but i like it. i like it quite a lot actually😟#or more geology .. urrghh.. sprinkle in sme extra art history . no bc thats what actu pissed me off ab school#i rmbr wanting to dual major and they straight up told me no i cant . but then i was like maybe an arts major bio minor when i wanted to do#science illustration but sry we dont offer bio minor . ok bio major arh or studio art minor . no sry not enough open spots we rly only#reserve it for when we have extra openings post admission❤️#and then even late into sophomore year u would still be last in registration so all the cool classes would be closed#and then bc of covid half that shit was cancelled bc they couldnt transfer labs online (rip comparative vertebrate anatomy)#and then by senior yr an additional collection of classes were unavailable bc u dont have the prereqs bc the prereqs were cancelled during#covid and u dont have enough semesters left to actually take it . like it was gen such an awful experience so ik why i couldnt ever do what#i wanted but .😭 AND LIKE the classes i DID enjoy like genomics or molecular genetics were closed by registration and i had to email and beg#for access . thts crazy .literally crazy .#anyways . i think i want 2 start reading textbooks bc i think thats the closest ill get LMAOO#i remember seeing my coworker read a textbook for fun one time and idk why i just didnt understand why bc it seemed so dry but i Get it now#like yeah .. u knew what was up ..#sad too that like . i could theoretically audit a course but i Work..during the day .. so sad . so sad#guys wht if i just said yes to grad school (<the devil talking.dont agree)
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sorry i just. need to rant for a second
#cause dude the whole joost situation is SO fucking upsetting#he's mentioned over and over again how overwhelming this whole overnight success thing has been for him and to respect his boundaries#and instead of yk respecting his wishes “fans” go and make things worse by constantly overstepping and being creepy and weird like hello???#like why can't we all just be normal and take a step back and enjoy things#these people are gonna end up driving him off the internet and i wouldn't blame him one bit#and the worst part is the people who should get the memo obviously don't (or refuse to) bc this isn't an isolated instance#like its been going on for a while now#idk man i just think about how hard it must be for him rn#one of the things that turned me into a joost fan (besides his music) was his personality#like i obviously dont know him on a personal basis#but from the little bits ive seen he comes across as a really genuine and sweet and kind dude#super thoughtful as well. like i just love the way he thinks and his take on things#like i remember watching his eurovision interviews and just thinking oh man this dude's a ray of sunshine LMFAO#also the literal definition of resilience like dude's been through so much stuff and hes always managed to come out on top despite of it#and thats something i really admire about him too. like the way he put it as not letting your traumas be just that#but also something that can drive you forward#but yeah dude's had more than enough like he deserves to be happy and have some peace and ppl keep ruining it for him and it makes me upset#like i actually slept like shit last night and woke up feeling terrible and i wonder if what went down yesterday w the whole live thing#has anything to do with it lmfao#and you may be like ok well youre taking it too personally and letting it affect you#and yeah maybe youre right LOL but i cant help it i care about the guy and i want him to be okay#he seems to have a really good support system though so i hope things blow over soon and he can finally have some peace#anyway. rant over! 💋#raquel speaks
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2 days to graduation. i can’t help but feel as though i’ve been pretty significantly missing out on something i didn’t know that i wanted until now
#got together at a friends house to watch the real madrid game today and its the only occasion in which ive spent like concerted time outsid#of a school thing while sober with a bunch of straight guys my age. and it was nice. and all of the people there were at the party i was at#last night too and anyway i cant help but wish that one i had had male friends leading up to this point but i also wish something couldve#ever happened to me romantically. bc the guy whose house i went over to is the one who i have a crush on and hes currently involved with#this other girl. and so nothings gonna happen and i probably wont see him over the summer bc we’re not friends like that and hes going to#college on the other side of the state. and anyway theres all these things and people who i know im gonna miss in college but theres a lot#more who im gonna miss what they represent. social connections. parties#a sense of not being left out or alone because really its not that ive felt left out this whole time. ive had a relatively good high school#experience. but im being introduced to all these things all this social world just as its ending. i wish i had known i wish life didnt work#like this. and dear god i wish i couldve kissed someone last night#txt#🚙
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Every time I think about Peri and Timmy a part of me breaks apart. I saw a fanart and some description about Peri and Timmy being like you wake up one day and your best friend is gone and it broke me cause actually imagine that.
You have been born because of a wish, something no child has done in thousands of years. He was beside the bed you were born in, Eyes filled with wonder. You would grab his finger while he cradles you in his arms, listening to him talk to you, looking at you as if you were his entire world. He would say the words I love you over and over, and you believed him. He was your first word, for a while. He was the only person you wanted to call out too, to reach out, and he was delighted to be there for you anytime you said his name. He would rush to your side and do whatever you needed. he helped teach you how to ride a bike, even if it was a human activity, you could fly with him anyway. you still wanted to do it with him though, cause it was Timmy!. he snuck you out late at night just to get you an extra sweet, and even if you could wish for it, you still wanted to do it with him. he picked you up from school with your mom and dad, talking to you about all the wacky antics and adventures he had with mom and dad. he helped you beat the last round of video games, teaching you the controls and secret hacks to beat the bosses properly. he hugged you when you felt like you had no one else. when you were the only kid fairy in a long, long time, he reminded you he would be there for you every single day. Every single birthday he was there to celebrate- make a cake with his bare hands and decorate his house just for you, it was always bliss with him.
Until you were 8. You were 8 years old when it was your older brothers birhday- 18. You were warned as the days came, but it felt so far, so impossible, that he had to go. he had to leave, and he could never see you again. He tried to find any- any loophole that could let him stay, Cosmo and Wanda looked everywhere in da rules, they hopped dimensions talked with other planets, had a case that could prove he was meant to be with his fairies forever, but he couldn't. No human could ever remember fairys, there were consequences that would affect everything outside of his family, he had to accept it. He could never say your name with such kindness again, He could never bring you to the ends of the galaxy again, he would never remember anything at all. You cry. You cry and cry and cry and think how cruel it is that you can never see your best friend again. You can never see your older brother ever again. He wouldn't remember carrying you, hugging you, tucking you before bed, he wouldn't remember birthdays, holidays, vacations, he wouldn't remember you. It felt worse then anything you've ever experienced, you barley could handle it at the time and still cant now. The only proof that he was in your life was your mere existence, your whole life was proof that Timmy Turner was your older brother, that he was Cosmo's and Wanda's godkid, and you would never forget that, no matter how much time has passed, no matter how many godkids go though the same cycle, you would always remember Timmy Turner.
#fairly oddparents#timmy turner#fairly odd parents#fop#cosmo#wanda#peri fairly oddparents#fairly odd parents a new wish
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when hell freezes over.
⊹ ࣪ in which touya todoroki finds himself.
a.n sorry this took so long i rewrote it like ten times because it wasnt going where i wanted to and it still lowkey isnt but i think this is the best ill do and im too excited to get to the later chapters so i might just rewrite them all to be better when im done ! i dont know im just really passionate abt this fic i literally got a writing notebook just for it...
tag list ; @itgetzweird08 !
⤷ masterlist ; requests open ; two – 2006 ; four – 2010 ; 4.4k words
touya todoroki was eight when his hair began to turn white.
his father had given up on him. said there was no point in training him. not when his quirk began eating away at his body everytime he used it.
every night, you would find more, and more burns. some more severe than the others, the skin peeling and rotting in ways you didn't know was possible. and every night, you’d place your cold, cold hands on him, and heal him as best as you could.
sometimes, you wanted to stop. your quirk made you feel like you had been plunged in an ice cold bath, hands holding you down as you struggled to breath. you could feel the ice creeping into your veins, threatening to freeze you from the inside out. but you kept on pushing. for touya. for the boy who couldn't give up, even if he wanted to.
“enji went to the doctor’s today.” touya spoke, leaning against the trunk of the big oak tree. “said i cant use my quirk anymore. ‘parently i have my mom’s body or… whatever.”
you could hear the anguish in his voice. his dream, no. his father’s dream was now a lost cause. all the hours, all the blood, the sweat, the tears, down the drain in an instant. all because he lost the genetics lottery.
“what… what now?”
touya pushed away from the tree to look directly at you as he waited for his answer. the sun was beginning to set, casting an orange glow on both of you. you two never met in the daytime. afraid your parents would find out, that endeavour would find out. you were both on edge, and today’s news didn’t help at all.
“i dont know, toy’.”
"you don’t know?” touya responded in disbelief. he was angry at the situation, and angry at himself. “of course you don’t know. you don’t know anything. do you even care?”
touya’s voice was harsh, cold. he didn’t mean to hurt you, he really didn’t.
but when you’re an eight year old child who just had your dreams snapped away from you days after your birthday, it was a normal reaction. or as normal as one can be in a situation like this, anyway.
he began pacing, hands tugging at his hair with so much force you were afraid he would rip it from his scalp. touya’s hair had begun turning white in some places, and you didn't know whether it was from his mother, or from stress. you don't know which one you would have preferred.
you didn't know what to do. your parents never trained you on how to use your quirk at all. sometimes, selfishly, you wished you had a father like endeavour. a figure in your life that would help you hone your quirk the way enji did to touya. you could take it, the harsh words, and the unforgiving regime, if only it meant you could relieve the pain touya seemed to feel in every waking moment.
“i’m—” he mumbled, stopping to look at you.
touya looked like a mess. his skin was littered with burns and scars you couldn't heal all the way, his eyes bloodshot from tiredness and stress, hair messy and greasy. his voice was soft, and if you really listened, you could hear him trembling.
“i didn’t mean that. i’m sorry.”
touya slowly walked over to your spot and sat down wordlessly. his shoulders slumped, and he brought his knees to his chest. he didn’t say anything for a long time. the sound of cicadas surrounded the two of you, and the last of the sunlight faded away. the sky was dark, and a few stars had already begun to appear. the moon was half way dark, peeking out from behind the clouds in the night sky.
as touya rested, you slowly inched closer to him until your shoulder touched his. he didn’t flinch away, and instead slowly rested his head on your shoulder.
after a few moments, he spoke softly, his voice barely above a whisper.
“what am i going to do?”
touya was a just a kid, but sometimes you forgot that. you forgot that he was just a child, not some grown adult that could handle the pressure of the world on their shoulders like endeavour had made him out to be.
“have fun.”
touya’s head moved from your shoulder to look at you.
”have fun?” he responded in disbelief. “i can’t really have fun when my quirk— when my whole life is falling apart, can i now?”
"your whole life doesn't have to revolve around your quirk, touya."
“how is it not supposed to revolve around my quirk?”
touya sat up straighter, putting distance between the two of you. he looked at you with an incredulous look, like you had just suggested he run away with his tail between his legs.
“all i’ve ever done is train, train, and train. train and work my butt off for a quirk i never even really wanted. and now it’s all going down the drain like i’m nothing more than trash.”
touya sat back against the tree again, leaning his head back and looking up at the stars, emerging from their cocoon once more.
”this is all i’ve ever had. without my quirk, i’m nothing.”
he was bitter and resentful. at his father, for lighting this fire under him. at his mother, for giving birth to him. at himself, for not being enough.
to touya, the idea of suddenly stopping everything he knew seemed impossible. being the number one hero was the only thing on his mind since the day he was born. it was engraved into his brain, and all he knew to do.
so now that he was stripped of that, where did that leave him? what was he supposed to do? who was he, if not the less than perfect successor for his father?
“what am i gonna to do now, huh? play outside? play with others? run around like a freakin’ kid?”
“yeah, actually.. you should play with me.”
“play with you?” touya responded sceptically, raising an eyebrow at you. “what are we supposed to do? have a tea party?
the idea of playing, especially in his current state of mind, seemed like a foreign concept. you two played sometimes, yes, but touya sometimes felt like he was going through the motions, if anything. he never really found anything in playing house with you, or pretending he was a villain and you, a monster. at least thats what he told himself, anyway. he’d rather keel over and die than admit he enjoyed spending time with you.
“if you wanna.”
touya looked dumbfounded. like you had just sprouted a second head. he knew you could be a little slow sometimes, but this was too much.
“seriously? we’re like… eight. we’re too old for that. we’re basically teenagers. ‘n’ you want to spend your time playing tea party? ” he said, making a face. “when we could be doing something actually fun, like skipping rocks or something? don't you have anything else in that head of yours?”
“...we could go to the park?”
“the park?” touya repeated, staring at you, a sarcastic lilt to his voice. “why do you wanna go to the park? so we can sit and spin around on the roundabout till we fall off?”
“i mean.. no one's gonna be there. its late, so we’ll have it all to ourselves, touya.”
“that’s…” he began before stopping. it actually sounded kind of cool. the idea of sneaking into an empty park at night with you. the idea of getting caught… excited him.
he let out a grumble, looking away. “fine. let’s go to the park.” he relented.
touya slowly got up from the ground and dusted off his pants before sticking his hands into the pockets of his hoodie.
“this better not be stupid,” he muttered as the two of you began making your way through the park.
it was late, meaning there was basically no one out except the occasional night-shift worker or the local drunkard. the only sounds to accompany you were the cars driving past, or the songs of the crickets. as the two of you walked, touya glanced over at you.
he noticed the way you walked confidently, almost with purpose. he would often catch himself stumbling as he walked, still not used to his gangly limbs. you, on the other hand, seemed to move so flawlessly. he was premature, and as a result, was shorter than fuyumi, and probably natsuo when he becomes of age. he was taller than you, sure, but that wasn't a feat by any means considering your height.
he kept his gaze on you for a few more seconds before looking away.
“hey,” he spoke suddenly, breaking the silence. “how come ya’ never play with other kids?”
it was a question that was bothering him for a while now. you never seemed to want to go hang around other kids, opting to stick by his side. touya could never really figure out why. maybe he didn't want to. he couldn't tell.
“why would i, touya,” you grinned, stretching out his name and slinging an arm around his shoulder, relishing in the way he recoiled. “when i have you?
a scoff.
“don’t say that,” he said in a deadpanned voice, but there was a light flush beginning to spread across his face.
he wasn't used to receiving praise from anyone, but when it came from you… it made him uncharacteristically embarrassed. touya didn't particularly know his emotions very well, especially not one that made him so flustered he wanted to throw up. not one that only ever seemed to show its face whenever he was around you.
“seriously, though. i’ve never seen you talk to anyone else like you do with me. how come?”
touya continued walking, casting an expectant glance in your direction. you didn't know what to say.
he had no idea why he wanted to know so badly. why the idea of you talking to other kids bothered him so much. and he knew it was stupid. you were allowed to make other friends. hell, he was the one not letting you make friends with other people. but the thought of you talking to anyone else other than him sent a sharp pang to his chest.
he shook the thought away, forcing the feeling of possessiveness down.
after a few moments of silence, he spoke again, keeping his gaze straight ahead.
“...what makes me so special, anyway?”
“shut up, touya.”
touya let out a surprised huff of air at your response.
he stopped walking and spun around to face you so suddenly, that you nearly ran into him. there was a scowl on his face, and his eyes were narrowed.
“don’t tell me what to do,” he replied in a low tone, trying to sound intimidating the way his father seemed to be so effortlessly.
he wasn’t quite sure why. maybe it was the thought of you giving your attention to someone other him, or maybe he just wanted some sort of response from you.
he leaned closer, using his barely-there advantage of height to loom over you. he watched your face, trying to figure out what was going through that dumb head of yours.
touya’s face inches closer to yours, close enough that you could feel his warm breath fan across your face. his eyes were locked onto yours, watching intently as you began to shift uncomfortably.
your hands began to feel a lot colder than usual as your fingertips began to turn white. the warmth in your veins was quickly replaced with a chill that you were all too familiar with.
your heart was beating quick and fast. you hadn’t realised how hard it had been beating until you felt your heart thump against your chest. you were sure touya could hear it, with how close he was.
you could feel the heat rising to your cheeks as he leaned in even closer, his eyes still locked in onto yours. there was a determined look in his eyes, like he was trying to figure you out.
“whatever. i wanna go on the seesaw.”
touya’s expression soured at your nonchalant reaction. instead of the nervous stammering and stuttering he was hoping for, you had calmly responded, not giving him the slightest show that he had any sort of effect over you.
he watched as you looked away, avoiding his gaze. there was a faint redness to your cheeks, and a part of him felt satisfied at the sight of it. but there was also an undercurrent of annoyance at the idea of being dismissed like that.
he let out a scoff and backed away, putting some distance between the two of you.
“the seesaw?” touya repeated, raising an eyebrow. “what are ya, five years old?”
he wasn’t quite sure what he had been expecting you to propose, but it certainly wasn’t that. the thought of standing on a children’s toy, awkwardly swinging up and down and up again, was laughable.
you, on the other hand, seemed completely serious as you nodded. “yeah!”
he stared at you for a moment, contemplating whether or not you were messing with him. but your expression was as deadpan as always, giving no hint that you were anything but sincere.
he let out a heavy sigh, rolling his eyes as a look of resignation crossed his face. “fine. let’s go on the damn seesaw.”
you grinned, bounding over to it with way too much energy someone should have in the dead of night. touya rolled his eyes again at your excitement. he was not particularly enthusiastic about going on a child’s toy, but he begrudgingly followed you to the playground. you practically dragged him over to the brightly painted seesaw, eagerly taking a seat on one side.
he reluctantly took a seat on the opposite one, the metal frame of the seesaw creaking under his weight. he glanced over at you, a frown on his face. "this is stupid."
you, on the other hand, were having the time of your life. you bounced up and down on the other end of the seesaw, giggling as the metal frame made squeaking sounds. touya sat on the other side, arms crossed, but you could tell by the way his shoulders were squared that he was trying not to fall off without giving in and actually play.
"come on," you said, gesturing for touya to bounce as well. "it's more fun when both of us are doing it."
"having fun yet?" you called out, still bouncing up and down like a hyperactive child. the metal frame between the two of you was starting to groan in protest.
touya let out a huff. "this is dumb," he repeated. "i'd rather be doing literally anything else right now."
he continued to bounce, but his movements were more restrained than yours. the whole thing seemed so childish, especially with you gleefully giggling away on the other end.
“fine! lets go on the swings then.” you frowned, peeling yourself off the seesaw sadly and trudging over to the swingset.
touya let out a scoff, his hold on you reluctantly loosening “of course its the swings,” he said with a roll of his eyes, shifting his hands to rest on your hips. “you always wanna go on those stupid things.”
“yeah i do. they're the coolest!”
you quickly regained your composure, however, and looked back at touya with a raised eyebrow. "slides are lame. swings are where it's at. you can go up and down!"
he let out a scoff again, shoving his hands into the pockets of his hoodie. "slides are better. they're faster. there's more adrenaline. now c’mon,” he murmured, walking side by side with you, absentmindedly matching the way you walked. left, right. left, right.
touya watched you closely as you sat down, his hands resting gingerly on your shoulders until you were safely seated on the swing. he stood there for a moment, his heart skipping a beat as your hair blew softly in the wind, framing your face with a few strands of hair.
he quickly brushed the feeling aside, shaking his head as he walked around to stand behind you.
“im gonna push you now, alright?”
“‘mkay!”
touya positioned himself behind you, his hands wrapped around the chains of the swing. his heart felt like it was trying to beat out of his chest. he took a deep breath, praying silently that you didn’t notice how nervous he actually was.
“okay, on the count of three…”
he began to count down, softly at first but gaining momentum as he reached the end. on three, he pushed you gently, propelling the swing forwards.
as you began to swing, touya let out a long exhale, his breath leaving him in a shaky whisper. he stood behind you, watching as you soared through the air, a smile on your face bigger than the moon.
he couldn’t help but notice how… carefree you looked. how your hair would sometimes brush against his knuckles as he pulled you backwards. how you would throw your head back in laughter every time you reached the peak of the swing. touya pushed you again, watching as you ascended even higher this time.
the sight of you swinging back and forth, your hair blowing in the gentle breeze, made his heart flutter. touya couldn’t tear his gaze away from you, his eyes fixated on your figure as you gained momentum.
he swallowed hard, trying to steady his breathing. he didn’t know why he felt so flustered, he had been pushing you on the swings for years.
this time felt different though. maybe it was the way the moonlight shone on your skin, or the way your shoulders shook with quiet giggles.
“push me touya! higher!”
touya let out a scoff of mock annoyance, though he knew he couldn’t deny you.
“you’re such a pain in the ass,” he muttered under his breath, pushing the swing with more force.
watching you go higher and higher, your laughter filling the air, touya couldn’t help but smile to himself. he wanted to know what it was like to be up there, to see the moon, and the stars. to feel free, even for just a moment.
and touya never understood why in movies the main characters always seemed to be ‘stuck in place’. stood there, looking like an idiot as something that could have easily been prevented from happening in front of them. he was old enough to understand that it was for the plot, but he couldn't help but feel frustrated when a character wanders back into the house with a killer in it for the nth time.
but now, he was frozen, his whole body seizing as the you swung up, and up, fingers slipping from the chains and your body falling, encapsulated by nothing but the light of the moon.
time seemed to slow down at that moment. he could hear the thumping of his own heart in his ears, like a primal drum, beating in time with the seconds ticking by.
he tried to call out to you, to warn you about the impending fall, but no sound came out of his agape mouth. he could only watch, feet glued to the ground, as you came back down towards the ground at an increasingly high speed.
touya’s heart skipped a beat, his blood turning to ice as he saw you slip from the swing. he wasn’t sure what overtook him in that moment, but he felt his body moving on its own.
within seconds, he found himself darting forward, arms outstretched as he tried to catch you midair. panic surged through him like electricity, his thoughts racing a mile a minute.
touya had no time to think, no time to weigh the risks or the consequences of what he was about to do. he acted, pure instinct taking over his body.
he moved with an almost superhuman speed, his long legs covering the distance between you and him in the blink of an eye. touya felt his adrenaline spike as he stretched his arms out towards you, his eyes locked onto your falling form.
he knew, somewhere in the back of his mind, that this was a terrible idea. that he was putting himself in danger too. but in that moment, all he cared about was saving you.
time seemed to stretch on into infinity as he caught you, his arms encircling around your waist. he held you tight against his chest, the force of the impact causing him to stumble backwards.
he fell onto the ground, landing on his back with a thud. the air left his lungs in a sharp exhale, his body tense as he tried to process what had just happened.
for a moment, touya laid there, his chest heaving as he struggled to catch his breath. his arms were still wrapped around you, holding you impossibly close against him.
“....touya?” your voice was small, eyes blown wide and terrified of every little thing that went bump in the night. you were always so strong, never wavering or faltering whenever you were around him. but here, right now, there was nothing you needed more than him.
"i got you," he breathed out, his voice shaky and ragged.
he held you closer, his hold on you tightening almost possessively. touya didn't know why his heart was pounding so hard, why his whole body felt like it was on fire.
he inhaled deeply, savoring the faint scent of your hair. it was a subtle, sweet fragrance that reminded him of wildflowers and sunshine.
"you're okay. i've got you," he repeated, more for his own reassurance than yours.
he sat up slowly, the movement causing him to wince slightly. his back was definitely going to hurt later, but he didn't care about that right now. all he cared about was making sure you were alright.
touya's eyes trailed over your form, searching for any signs of injury. he lifted a hand to gently cup your chin, tilting your face upwards so he could look at you properly.
he didnt know a single thing about taking care of others. didnt know how to put on a bandage, didnt know what medicine was what. didnt know how to comfort anyone, if at all. all he knew was what he saw his mother do, time, and time again.
his gaze softened as he looked into your eyes, taking in the sight of your tear-stained face. the sight tugged at his heartstrings, but he tried his best to keep his emotions in check.
he held your chin a little tighter, his thumb gently rubbing over your skin in a comforting motions.
"you're crying.”
“shut up. no– no ‘m not.”
touya couldn't help but roll his eyes at your reaction. even in moments like these, you were as stubborn as ever.
he let out a huff of amusement, shaking his head slightly as he used his thumb to wipe away the tears from your eyes.
"yeah, yeah, whatever you say," he said in a sarcastic tone. "because your tears are definitely just sweat, right?"
you nodded, shutting your eyes tight as you willed the world to stop spinning. you didn't know how people stomached going skydiving or riding rollercoasters, and you didn't think you ever would.
touya chuckled, his hand moving from your chin to pat your head fondly.
"you're an idiot, you know that?" he teased, his voice softening at the sight of your tear-stained face.
he hated seeing you cry. more than he knew he should.
the butterflies in his stomach stirred as he continued to hold you close, his hand still tangled in your hair. he tried to shake the feeling off, reminding himself that he was just being a good friend. that's all.
but as he sat there, with you in his arms and your tears staining his shirt, he couldn't ignore the fluttering in his chest.
he sat there for a moment, his fingers gently threading through your hair as he tried to catch his breath. he knew he should make sure you were actually okay, that your little stunt didn't actually get you hurt.
but right now, all he could focus on was you. the way your eyelashes fluttered against your skin as you blinked back tears, the way your lower lip trembled ever so slightly.
it was driving him crazy.
“can… can we go home?”
touya's heart ached at the sound of your soft, shaky voice. the way you looked so small and fragile in his arms right now made his chest tighten with an unfamiliar feeling. it was nauseating. you were always so strong around him, but seeing you like this was like flipping a switch in his brain.
he gently patted your head once more, his fingers lingering on your hair for a moment, before nodding.
"yeah," he responded, his voice quiet and hoarse. "yeah, we can go home."
he’d have to sneak you through the window again. as much as he wanted your parents to check you out now, it’d be too much of a risk.
touya's mind raced with thoughts as he helped you up onto your feet, his grip never loosening from your waist.
he knew the drill by now. he would have to sneak you back into your room through your bedroom window, without getting caught by your parents. he took a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart. he could do this. he'd done it several times before.
touya always walked you home after the first night. it was the least he could do, anyways. his father was cruel, but not cruel enough to not raise a gentleman.
and touya didn't mind walking you back home. in fact, there was a secret part of him that actually relished in the time alone with you. the comfortable silence, the gentle brush of your hand against his, the way the dim street lights illuminated your face.
he could pretend, even if just for a moment, that it was just the two of you in the world. no parents, no rules, no responsibilities.
it was a foolish dream, but he clung to it like a lifeline, nonetheless.
#⊹ ࣪ ˖ greywrites#⊹ ࣪ ˖ when hell freezes over#dabi#dabi x reader#touya todoroki#touya todoroki x reader#bnha#bnha x reader#boku no hero academia#mha#mha x reader#my hero academia#todoroki x reader#todoroki
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so I can’t stop rereading can’t do it alone, and I might need another part to it, like right when he gets off the tour, and he meets reader at her house, and is literally so excited to just feel her around him, and to taste her again, he just can’t help himself. you don’t have to do this request I just want it but if you don’t want to it’s your choice anyway
cant do it alone (pt 2) - B.K
✮ synopsis - a part two to this fic, Bill is finally off tour and gets to see his precious girlfriend again. But he can’t help himself but be all over her!!! 🎀
✮ genre - fluff to smut i guess?
✮ word count - 1.3k (kinda slow burn imo i’m a major in yapology)
✮ content warning - kissing, pet names, praise, fem!reader, sub!bill, dom!reader, oral (f receiving) very slight degrading, face sitting, bill gets hard 😞, begging
✮ a/n - man i need to start being normal
BILL’S POV:
God, it was finally over. This long, gruelling, overwhelming tour was finally over. It was only a few months, but being away from Y/N felt like a genuine eternity. It was so hard to go even a single night without missing her, needing her arms around me and her soft voice whispering sweet nothings in my ear. But now I can finally see her again after all that time spent “bringing the mood down” as Tom would say. It’s not my fault he can’t hold a relationship for more than one night.
I wasted absolutely no time in driving straight to Y/N’s house. I didn’t even bother to unpack at my own home. I had my priorities set, and she was at the top of my list right now. I stepped up to her door and knocked loudly. I glance nervously at my phone; 2:40 am. “I hope I’m not waking her up…” I think to myself. I had left her a text letting her know I was home and on my way, but it looks like she didn’t see it. To be fair, it was at 1 am.
2ND PERSON POV:
As he patiently waited for your response, your head slowly rose up as you heard knocking. You sit confused for a moment, who would be here at such an hour… then it hit you. Could it be? Your boyfriend is finally home??? You immediately jump out of bed, not bothering to even get dressed, and raced down to the front door to greet the love you had oh so missed.
The door swings open so fast you were scared you’d break its hinges. Both of your faces light up as your eyes lock.
“BILLY!! YOU’RE HOME!!”
“Oh, schatz, I’ve missed you so much!” Bill sighs. His arms wrap around your waist as he pulls you into a deep kiss. Your hands snake around the back of his neck as you stand up on your tip toes to reach the tall boy. The kiss feels like it lasts forever, you’re both lost in your own fantasies having not seen each other for months.
You finally pull away for air, panting ever so quietly. Not just out of shortness of breath, but excitement and anticipation. “Are you gonna stay the night, Bill?” You ask.
“Well I may as well.” He replies, gesturing to a clock on your wall.
“Well, I’m gonna go back to bed, so feel free to join me whenever you’re ready.” You give him a warm smile, and a final kiss on the cheek before returning upstairs to your room. Bill, eager to join you, dumped his luggage and quickly retrieved a comfy t-shirt and some shorts to sleep in.
As he opened the door to you room, he noticed you were already lying in bed, but you were still very much awake. “What’s wrong, baby?” He asked.
“Nothing, I’m just… so happy to see you again, my heart is buzzing!”
Bill climbed into bed and lied next to you, his eyes never leaving yours. “Trust me I’m just as excited as you, it feels like it’s been forever, no?”
“I know right…”
As you turn over to your side, you feel that familiar warm sense of safety wrap around you. As bill held you, you felt truly happy again.
But bill couldn’t help himself but be all over you. Your natural scent, the feeling of your warm skin against his, the smell of your freshly washed hair, so many overwhelming thoughts of all the things he wished you could do to him while he was away, it was all too much for the poor baby… as he and you lay together in silence, you were interrupted from your almost sleep with the feeling of something poking you.
“Bill, that better be your hand.” You say bluntly, rolling your eyes.
“Fuck, I’m sorry, liebe, I didn’t mean to… I just missed you so much and-“
You cut him off by turning around to face him, your expression dangerous. “And…?” You wait for him to finish.
“And I need you… badly…”
“Hmm, what do good boys say to get what they want?”
“Please… Y/N please it’s been months, I haven’t been able to get off properly since that call and it’s driving me insane…” God, his begging was like music to your ears. You could listen to him whine and plea for you all night, and still not give him what he wants.
“I don’t know if you deserve it yet, baby.” You sigh a sigh of fake disapproval as you threaten to turn your back to him, to which he immediately turns you back around.
“Yes, baby I do.. I’ll prove it to you..”
“And how would you do that, sweet boy?”
He hesitated for a moment. A little bit of stunned silence, because he thought you would just give in, so now he had to think of something quickly. “Sit on my face.” He finally said.
You cocked your head to the side and raised an eyebrow. “Oh? That’s what my baby wants?”
“Only if you want, I want to please YOU.”
You consider his offer momentarily before getting up to straddle his waist. You were already just in a shirt and panties, so you slowly slide them off, never taking your eyes off the desperate mess underneath you.
“Better be good for me, Billy, or you won’t be getting shit tonight, you understand?” You ask strictly. He nods rapidly in a desperate attempt to hurry things up so he could just taste you finally. Satisfied with his response, you hover yourself over him until you finally lower down onto his mouth.
His lips immediately wrap around your clit as he begins to kitten lick it. His hands find their way into the sides of your waist as he firmly holds you still, nearly digging his nails into your soft flesh in the process. A soft moan escapes your lips as you grind your hips onto his tongue. “Fuck… Bill…”
“I missed your taste so much…” Bill’s muffled voice groans from underneath you as he drags his tongue down from your clit to your entrance. Without hesitation he pushes his tongue as deeply as he can inside you, savouring every second your taste as much as possible.
Your moans only get louder as you feel his tongue brush against your g-spot. You hastily grab a fistful of your boyfriends spiky (though now quite flat) hair and tug on it, causing him to whimper in pain. You hear a soft “fuck!” from under you and you chuckle. “Did somebody like that? You.. little slut..” You say. After hearing nothing but cute little whines from Bill, you loosen your grip on his hair and clench your bed sheets instead.
Bills tongue was now delving in and out of you at quickly, he wasted no time and wanted to make you cum as quickly and as hard as he could. “You’re… doing so well for me, Billy… ah fuck!” Your mouth hung open, moans escaping it at every sensation. Bill moved one hand from your waist and started to tease your clit again with his thumb, slowly circling it and a teasingly slow pace. You almost found yourself begging him to speed up, but you restrained yourself. You felt your stomach begin to ache as your muscles tensed up, your release imminent. You stuttered out moans and broken sentences, letting Bill know how close you were. And under his muffled breath you could make out his accent whispering “Cmon, cum for me, baby.” You throw back your head in pure ecstasy as your orgasm came crashing over you. Bill held you as still as he could, licking up everything he could. With a final few moans, you slowly lift off your boyfriend’s face to see the mess you made of him, and for him to see the mess he made of you.
“That good?” His innocent smile beamed, full of pride.
“You tell me, seems like you enjoyed just as as much as I did.”
RAHHHHHHH IDK IF I LIKE OR HATE THIS BUT WHATEVER, I GOT SOMETHING OUT AND THATS ALL THAT MATTERS. thank you so much the request, AND all the support i got for my first fic, it means so much to me as a burnt out writer that people actually still like my writing :)) ILY GUYSSSS
#tokio hotel#tokio hotel x reader#tokio hotel smut#tokio hotel imagines#bill kaulitz#bill kaulitz x reader#bill kaulitz smut#bill kaulitz imagines#tom kaulitz#tom kaulitz x reader#tom kaulitz smut#georg listing#georg listing smut#georg listing x reader#gustav schäfer#gustav schafer smut#gustav schafer x reader#tokio hotel fluff
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hey, thank you for having and running this blog. you're doing the equivalent of gods work.
first, i'm sorry for the amounts of jerk anons you have to deal with. you literally articulate yourself very well and clearly, and still, people will find a way to twist it or not take it seriously. it reminds me of me "arguing" with terfs back in 2022 on twitter. (shudders.)
and second, how do you deal with the constant negativity? i have found myself doomscrolling the transandrophobia tag, and, well, to no ones surprise, my mental health is down the gutter. do you have any tips to deal with it? mainly with the transandrophobia in general? it is more than exhausting existing as a (gnc & enby) trans guy atm, and it's really getting to me. the thing is, I wouldn't mind it if it were non-queer bigots, but the fact it's coming from inside the community is devastating. i am more than hurt. this intense hatred for men and masculinity, queer, trans, or not, is incomprehensible to me. it never does anything good. anyone who says "i hate all men and anything masculine" is definitely going in the "yep that's either a radfem or a radfem hatchling" box. i partially understand as to why- i had a fear of men myself when i still identified as a girl, and slipped into the "all men bad. kill" side of the internet for a short while but ONLY because of this rhetoric ("you need to be afraid because there are men outside." , "men and masculinity are inherently predatory or dangerous")- but i got out of it because i saw how fucked it was eventually (thank goodness)- but nothing should ever be an excuse to excessively hate a gender or masculinity this badly. and its mostly gender essentialist bs anyways imo, so i do not understand it at all...it reminds me of people saying men/mascs cant be asexual because it's "in their nature to be sexual"- because testosterone. its hard. i just wish we all could respect each other. you're either "one of the bad bad evil men" or "noooooo not YOU. you're AFAB!! never!! youre a girl/woman in spirit!!" from my personal experience with terfs/radfems/idiots.
anyways, sorry for invading your anon space with this long rant, but i just wanted to leave this and the question. i hope you have a nice day/night, and thank you for reporting on transandrophobia as much as you do. it's sadly very much needed right now.
Thank you so much, this is such a kind ask to receive. To be honest with you: I don’t handle my mental health very well around it </3 It’s weighed on me pretty heavily these last few months especially. The things keeping me running this blog anyway are my passion for the transmasc community and lovely anons like yourself cheering me up. When it comes to trying to manage it, the most important thing for me has been finding people I can vent to about it who will understand. I’m lucky enough to have a wonderful discord server full of awesome trans people who will talk it through with me, and that’s been a life-saver. Staying offline for a bit and trying to engage in person with people who are unlikely to be transandrophobic towards you can be a nice relief. I catch myself doomscrolling constantly too, and it doesn’t feel great. If you need to set some sort of time limit on your phone even just to remind yourself not to do it, that’s helped me before and might help you too.
Having this much hatred levied at me for my identity from my own community lately has been devastating. I completely understand you. I’ve always been vocal about supporting transfems in particular, so it really hurts to see so many turn against me for speaking up. I understand how the queer community got this way, though. Antimasculinism has been an issue in queer and feminist spaces for ages. I think people are starting to notice it more and understand why it sucks and how much it negatively affects trans men and mascs. It feels like a losing battle sometimes with how much cultural feminism — the Men Bad Women Good flavor of pop feminism — has pervaded our communities and often led to very overt radical feminism that people still can’t always recognize because they don’t know anything about TERFs outside of them hating trans women. I believe the culture will start to shift soon such that people are able to recognize sexism and gender essentialism that harms all genders, and I will be doing my part to help that happen.
#transandrophobia#cultural feminism#transfeminism#intersectional feminism#antimasculinism#transmasc experiences#long post#ask#mine
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I Cant Keep Crying pt 1
Hello it’s me again. Angst/ smut/ etc etc under the cut
Part 2
You wish you could say you knew how you got here. You shared the same dream with every other pirate in the world. Your wide eyed idealism soon turned cynical, yet you remained on the sea. Your captain wasn’t the most fearsome, sticking to the East Blue was easy pickings. It worked for you, Buggy wasn’t the meanest boss you encountered. You knew how to stay on his good side, which helped.
After a particularly fun night, both of you good and drunk, he ended up between your legs. You decided you wanted to keep him there, as long as he’d let you. The way he looked at you made you think you had the final say in it no matter what.
He wasn’t ugly, but he also wasn’t the only pirate you let into your bed. You and him had a silent understanding, the sea was lonely. He was your captain, and you weren’t going to ask for special treatment. Whatever happened inside his cabin, stayed there.
“Fuck, I’m so close.”
You liked the way he looked under you, the feel of his cock inside you. Buggy massaged your nipples, biting your flesh everywhere. His hands found their way to your ass, forcing your hips to grind against him faster.
“Keep going, Buggy, fuck keep going.”
A groan caught in his throat as you came, flipping you over to find his own release. You were oversensitive, slapping the wall behind you. Buggy kissed your neck, spilling into you.
It was always quick and dirty, him pulling out slowly to grab his flask. You shared a drink while catching your breath, watching the rise and fall of his chest.
”My legs cant stop shaking,” you said with a laugh.
”Damn straight.”
He slapped your ass, making you laugh harder, “you’re funny.”
He turned you around to face him, planting a kiss on your lips. This was always your favorite part, especially if you got to stay the night. You traced patterns on his skin, him watching with a smile on his face.
“I found something from the last raid I think you might like.”
”Like what?”
He jerked his chin to a chest on his desk, “go look.”
You eyed him suspiciously, not really sure what to expect. You figured it’d be a gag gift, like the last one. It wasn’t your birthday yet, nor a holiday. He wasn’t one for gifting things anyway.
Inside was a necklace, a silver chain with a locket.
”Wow, thanks.”
He shrugged, “wasn’t worth too much. Thought it’d look great on you.”
”Well thanks, I love it,” you said, brushing off what he said.
“Put it on.”
The cool metal raised your skin, as well as the look he gave you from across the room. Slowly, you stalked over to him. Running a finger along his jaw, you kissed him again.
”Thanks, Captain.”
”If you really wanna thank me,” he motioned to his cock with a wink.
You honestly expected him to have a picture of it inside the damn locket. You decided to thank him anyway, not thinking too much into why the hell he gave you a gift in the first place. At least he apologized when cum got into your nostril. So gentlemanlike of him.
You cleaned each up other up with smiles before bed, Buggy always finding a way to keep touching you. You wanted to lie and say you were annoyed, or even apathetic about it. Your heart fluttered every time, relishing in this moment, because it was only you and him.
In the morning, Buggy always let you eat a meal with him. Ordering a crew mate to send breakfast in for the both of you. You were always shy, you didn’t need to know what they were saying about you to know they said anything about you.
Buggy fed you a biscuit, like you were lovers on a honeymoon. You could play pretend, you always did.
”There’s a nice place I heard about on this village, the booze is cheap as shit.”
”Hell yeah, I could use a night where my head is the only thing swaying around.”
He smiled, letting you linger as you readied for your daily tasks. You pretended to be busy as you watched him apply his makeup. You felt a little sad for him, like the clown persona wasn’t even a choice for him. Like it never was, but he wore it with pride. You admired him for that.
“Ready to face the day?”
Your name sounded so lovely on his lips.
”Of course, Buggy.”
He rewarded the crew with a night of partying, throwing berry around the crowded bar. The crew was only here a few days for a resupply, plenty of time to soak in the sights. You poured yourself a drink, trying to find him. You stood on your toes, searching for that bright orange hat amongst the crowd.
You finally spotted him, pushing your way to that hat like it was a beacon. You wanted to ask him why he gave you that locket you were still wearing, and what it meant to him.
”Heya Bug-“
You froze, witnessing his tongue being shoved down another person’s throat. One of the townies, of course they wouldn’t have a reason not to. Not like your crew mates, avoiding eye contact with you in embarrassment.
He noticed you staring, a smeared red smile on his face.
”What, what? Need more berry?” He turned to his newest hook up, “can’t say I’m not a generous captain, here you go baby, be merry!”
You crumpled the notes in your fist, rushing back towards the bar. Scanning the dark room, you couldn’t find a suitable replacement. One was found for you, a man with a nice smile whispering in your ear. You moved him to be within Buggy’s line of sight, kissing him sloppily.
You could scream, but instead pulling him out into the fresh air with force. You ran your arms over your clothes, looking for an ear. You couldn’t find one, tears on the verge of falling.
”Hey, did you see my captain looking at us when we left?”
The stranger shook his head, “I say you’re off the hook, babe.”
You nodded, deciding to take him then and there in that dark alleyway. You hoped Buggy would catch you, hoping for a reaction that could tell you what he didn’t want to say. Something besides what you didn’t want to hear.
After he got you off, you left him there to stumble on your separate ways. You only wanted to enter Buggy’s cabin, to throttle whoever he decided to bring home that night. It was beneath you, you been doing this long enough to know better.
Buggy ruined it, with that stupid locket. It wasn’t even just the locket, it was the special bottle he’ll save for you, the extra sweets on your birthday, the way he remembered whatever small detail you’d tell him.
He couldn’t belong to only you, he had a way to make anyone follow him to hell and back. He could treat people however he wanted, they wouldn’t leave him. He knew he had you hook, line, and sinker.
Instead of heading towards his bed, you entered the crew’s quarters. No one was there, you could scream and kick things around in private. It didn’t help anything, leaving you to nurse a sprained ankle and a hangover.
”Whoa there, what happened to you last night?” Buggy cornered you in the storage room, your hands sore from sharpening blades for hours.
”Had a little bit fun yourself, huh Captain?”
He laughed nervously, “what’s the point of plundering if you can’t enjoy the spoils?”
”Yeah, your little friend last night seemed pretty nice.”
He ignored the comment, “where’s that necklace, you lose it already?”
”I didn’t wanna wear it today,” you said flatly.
He only nodded, taking blades from the finished pile. Buggy half heartedly checked stock, glancing every so often if your direction until you left.
You figured you were hormonal, or maybe even just coming down with a cold. Something was to blame for you suddenly caring. You haven’t been on land in months, you forgot how things worked between you two. That had to be it.
”Captain wants to speak to you.”
You could handle whatever he wanted to throw at you.
He opened the door with a smile, pushing you inside. He handed you a pile of clothes, things to be mended.
”Is that all from you?”
”Ah, no. I remembered a long time ago, a certain member of my merry band of freaks liked playing the accordion. So…”
”Uh, wow. Thanks, Captain.”
”Figured all those shanties needed some accompaniment.”
You tilted your head, “why?”
He blushed, “do I need one?”
He was trying to buy you off. He looked at you like he was expecting something, his hands floated to your body, tugging at your clothes. Hands that touched someone else, but you couldn’t cry about that. You did it too.
”Seems like you have a reason in mind, Bug.”
He nodded, stripping you bare.
“I’m a big fan of every noise coming out of your mouth.”
You let him fuck you, you not being able to get that night out of your mind. His mouth is on your pussy, determined to make you his.
“Stop, stop.”
”What’s wrong?”
You shook your head, “I can’t fucking do this anymore.”
You expected him to beg, to plead for you to stay. A promise or two about changing, that it was only you.
Instead he yelled, “fine! See if I care! Fucking go!”
He threw your clothes at you, refusing to even look at you. When you were taking too long, he shoved you out the door, shirt still unbuttoned, leaving you exposed. Before closing it, he threw costumes and the accordion out into the hallway.
”This shit better be done by tonight or I’ll have your head on a platter.”
The accordion was in pieces, you attempted to pick it up before he screamed at you to go. Leaving Buggy and anyone around to stare at the broken mess on the floor.
You hid from the crew the rest of the day, tearfully mending each item. While everyone went out to party, you left the costumes by the door. He wasn’t there, expecting you to leave them somewhere while he went out himself. You knew he was going to bring someone else back to his bed.
As you set the costumes down, you noticed the accordion in the trash, you carefully held it in your hands. It should be an easy fix, at least until Buggy decides you didn’t deserve it back.
With a sigh, you worked on the instrument alone on the deck. Watching the life on shore from afar. The tears blurred your work, feeling stupid for leaving Buggy. Shit, you felt stupid for even thinking a captain like him would even care about an underling like you.
It was getting late, and you fixed the accordion the best you could. Testing it out with a soft song, you choked on a sob. Buggy walked across the deck, another lover around his arm. He glanced at you briefly, his expression hard to read in the dark.
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my fullmoon dream ended up being a somewhat dense one in a continuation of my dream timeline
There's this person, who was my friend but it ended badly, a few years ago. And i didnt really understand what happened it was very confusing to me, i didnt really have any power in the situation, it was only this past year i learned of the way all these strings were being pulled behind my back, which helped me understand why that situation occurred, why there was so much resentment directed towards me when i was trying so hard to just exist and keep the friendship simple + lighthearted. Like basically it was just sabotaged which has been kind of hard for me to accept even with finally knowing how it was sabotaged, it was all so unnecessary and i just wish i knew sooner.
over the past 2 or so years ive had a recurring dream scenario where I run into this person. i always write them on here too. Sometimes we apologize to each other, sometimes we dont really speak at all, but theres always this vibe of like, "Things are cool between us now, its Ok." And its a very relieving feeling, in the dreams. its almost exciting, like wow, we can be friends again??! The thing i find most interesting about it is that even though i lost a LOT of friends in the past few years through the same source of sabotage, this is the only person i have these dreams about. I guess we were pretty close for a while but still its interesting no one else comes up in this way.
Anyways. in the dream last night(this morning), it was kind of different... it was really emotional?? usually its never that emotional, usually we dont even say much. but in this dream today, they were crying, they were so earnestly apologetic, talking about how they regret the ways they treated me, and missed being my friend so much. And i cried too because it felt so good to hear it, i apologized for the messy ways i responded to the situation because i didnt get it at the time i thought i was going crazy.. And we were like holy shit we can finally just be friends again.. This is amazing..
as the conversation closed i woke up, i had a moment of being like woahh, that just happened, all the feelings and imagery of it cemented into my conscious mind. THEN, i fell BACK asleep, to the exact same dream!! it just continued. I went and did some other things, i got a job at this weird childrens entertainment center where i was dressed in a panda costume dancing for children. But it was the exact same setting, they were still sitting in the same spot close by, and in the dream i kept having flashes of relief thinking like "omg we're friends again i cant wait to catch up and talk more once im off work"
i feel my body woke me up from that conversation to make sure i really claearly remember that part of the dream before it continued on. I havent had a dream-wakeup-backtosamedream happen in quite a while but i always regard it as an extra significant dream when i do,... also its the full moon
i never know what to do after these dreams like do i reach out? honestly this person kind of intimidates me so i never know. Like i cAnt imagine in reality they miss being my friend that much. But they are pretty sentimental deep down, so maybe. Its just a difficult situation where I was never the one with any of the power, So it feels strange to instigate contact. Like how it happened in the dream, it would only really make sense if they said something first. Maybe these dreams are just meant to bring about some psychic closure that i'm not likely to ever receive irl. Its always very confusing to wake up from lol. I would like to feel that relief for real..
But at the end of the day im satisfied with my life and the friends I have now, so its not a big deal. Just stuff thats buried. I swear its always full moons when i dream about them lol! We have the same moon sign, in astrology, i wonder if thats something to do with it. We always had a lot of weird almost creepy synchronizations in our personalities. Oh well
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theoretically pt.5
TURN!Benjamin Tallmadge x F!reader
part one , part two , part three , part four
The light of the candle isn’t what has been keeping you up, but it isn’t necessarily helping your venture on attempting to get some rest.
Your cheek firmly pressed against your crossed arms, you stare absentmindedly at Benjamin’s back, watching the way his shoulders tense with annoyance as he has to scribble out words of his official report, then begin the sentence again.
Your eyes follow to his desk, absolutely littered with letters and maps, enough that you squint to attempt a better glance at their words and images.
If he had any idea that you were awake, he simply ignored the fact.
Part of you was raked with guilt, weighed down by the idea that most of this was entirely your fault with little way to fix the problem.
You wanted to stay irate, remain bitter at the fact it wasn’t he who was stuck here with you, it was you who was stuck here with him.
Yet, if anything, your resentful attitude did nothing to aid your cause, so maybe you could stand to be a bit nicer to the man who did nothing to harm you just yet.
“Cant sleep?”
It startles you, your eyes bouncing around the tent, surprised that he had moved from his desk without as much as a sound.
You must’ve zoned out, for him to have now be seated at the end of the cot, arms across his chest as he stares down at you.
“Sorry, I did not intend to startle you.”
“No…it’s okay. And yeah, I can’t sleep. Something like that.”
“Something on your mind?”
“No. Today just wore me out.”
You watch him warily, your cheek returning to your arm as you now stare at the wall of the tent.
“I was pleased with how you spoke to the General, at least.”
His words are soft, almost a whisper, still looking at you, as if there was something more he wished to ask.
“I did okay?”
The validation was not expected, but extremely comforting, finally daring to move onto your back so you could properly speak to him.
“Besides your ramblings, sure.”
“Thanks.”
Ben expected you to bite back, some comment about his teasing, but all you do is feel the waves of relief wash over you in droves.
“I ran your name, and as far as I know, not a soul knows of you.”
“Unless a relative is walking around, I doubt anyone would. A last name may match, but my full name, no one.”
He hums, fingers tapping against his arms, the words rolling around on his tongue for a moment before they come out of his mouth.
“The dress annoyed you so much? I thought you looked very nice,”
The candlelight does little to help hide the twinge of red that blossoms on your cheeks.
“Let’s just say I appreciated you keeping these around.”
You gesture to your t-shirt and joggers.
“Well, you look nice in those too. If that happens to be standard for your time.”
You snort.
“No, this would be considered sleepwear, probably because that’s what I was doing when I woke up here.”
Ben seems mildly interested in this, scooting a little closer to you, so you sit up and draw your knees to your chest so he can sit next to you on the cot.
“I think I owe you an apology, Major.”
Solemnly, your gaze lowers to the white sheet, wrinkling your nose in defeat.
“Whatever for, y/n?”
“Besides…our first encounter, you’ve been nothing but nice to me. And I’ve been a sarcastic, annoying drama queen, probably.”
Ben actually laughs, throwing his head back before quickly collecting himself, realizing where he was and the hour of the night.
“I wouldn’t think you were such. Though I don’t know entirely what ‘drama queen’ means, I am putting the pieces together.”
“Anyway though, I do owe you one. I really am sorry. I hope through all this we can be besties—friends. I’d like that, if that’s okay with you.”
Ben mulls it over for a moment, is heart beating in his ears so loudly he’s positive you can hear it, before answering your proposal with a firm nod.
“I’d like that as well.”
There’s a passing moment of silence, then Ben gathers the courage to ask one more question for the night.
“y/n,”
Your gaze lifts, meeting his, and he can’t help the way he nearly swoons over the way you look at him.
“If I can’t find a way to help you…whatever the situation may be,”
He counts off on agitated fingers.
“Confusion, illness, injury, time travel—“
A sigh escapes his chapped lips.
“What are you going to do?”
It’s what’s been keeping you awake, terribly sad and lonely. You want to burst into tears at the thought of it, but you didn’t feel right throwing some of that burden on Ben, especially after the meaningful moments you’ve just exchanged.
Instead, you shrug, swallowing down a building sob.
“Y’know, Ben, I hadn’t really thought about it.”
A sad smile finds its way to your cheeks.
“I trust you. And I trust that we’ll figure it out. Together.”
Your teeth sink slowly into your bottom lip, hesitant to touch him, but move forward all the same. Patting his hand softly, you hope your comforting motion is enough to get you through this conversation.
“I’m inclined to agree.”
He goes to say more, but you slink back down onto the cot, knees drawn to your chest as you grab at the warmth beneath the sheet.
“Good night, Ben,”
You try your best to say it without sounding too warbled.
“Sleep well, y/n.”
He pushes off the cot, and as he blows out the candle, the tent is enveloped in a darkness that you welcomed with open arms.
#sul writes#turn amc#turn washington's spies#turn: washington's spies#amc turn#turn washingtons spies#benjamin tallmadge headcanons#benjamin tallmadge imagine#turn benjamin tallmadge#benjamin tallmadge x reader#benjamin tallmadge
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Sorry for the lack of sally face vomit last night guys I was eepy </3 I'm waking up in less than 8 hrs so let's go
THE FUCK YOU MEAN 60%
HOW DID I MISS SHIT I TRY SO HARD TO NOT
-oof not meds being shitty
-"is anyone really happy?" Mood
-hoooly fuck bro I am notnin a good enough mental state for this rn "I mean, were all just going to die anyway. So what's the point" pookie can we donting
-guysss whay the flip this games writing is rlly good
-"it feels like nothing puts me at ease. It's this constant feeling of discomfort like my soul isn't aligned with my body" okay I know this is prolly some ghosty supernatural shit but I feel this so hard ??
-HELP THE SCRAMIMG JUMPSCARED ME SO BAD mood tho
-hey what.
Whats this.
Larry if this means what I think it means
"ITS TIME FOR ME TO GO WHAY NO
Fuck
FUCK
FUCK
FUCK
NO
I KNEW HE DIED BUT HE CANT DIE LIKE THOS
MY HEART IS RACIN
NO
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
"Don't do anything stupid" the amount of times I've had this told to me and had to tell me loved ones bro
Fuck
No
Guys this isn't even fucking funny this isn't like me getting spooked easy it's like I legitimately am crying so fucking hard right now like mt face is red and all nasty
Shit Larry please
I think this is the most I've ever cried over a game.
Shit
Fuck
No..
Please.
I knew he died.
It can't happen like this I'd rather anything else god damnit why.
Im shaking
okay in texting one of my friends and he's kinda helping a Lil 👍
He was supposed to move in with us.
He's in the treehouse.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Shit.
I'm sorry I know this isn't entertaining to read but
Fuck..
Larry why.
Larry face.
No ghat was really well done. And that's what makes it hurt sk much more. Fuck. Why.
[Tw suicide] this Honestly is making me really glad I never went through with it. Seeing those messages from a fucking fictional character is able to break my heart so much I can't imagine how my loved ones would've felt receiving this
sorry this is getting a Lil venty and dark but just like.. jeez. This is well written and that fucks it up so hard
ash what the fuck. You shitty traitor.
Ash I hate you.
Why.
Ash you fucking suck
Wait did Larry die with alcohol
Uck that makes it so much worse too
Im lowkey having to take breaks cuz this is hitting HARD
Larry's note. Oh my god.
phrophecy??
Oh right the cult
Fuck I'm sk glad ghosts exsist but I wish he was really here larry why
"You asshole! How could you do this?! Why did you leave me? Why?!" Fuck. Dude. Shit.
guys I'm stuck this is embarrassing
A times thing r u fr
Nvm easy as shot
oh great! guys that's great why is there black leak that's not good
what's happening with 501 what the florp
"The shapeless man walks in awkward strides"
Is everyone like possed or on the verge of possession or smth ?? Because like it's the red eyed demon right- based on the cutscene with Todd we saw during the bologna incident and the black stops righr before their eyes so..
The guitar sections are so stressful ngl
Oh wow mr Sanderson blew his brains out hub!
"yoy look like shit dude" Larry fucking wild thing to say to someone who shot themslelves
HEY GUYS ROOM 404 IS SLIGHTLY SUSPICIOUS
"These ghosts. So full of life. Strong, healthy blood. Tender meat. Oh how we crave their flesh. Yet, they deny us.. soon." what the fuck.
Wait guys in the vhs tape screen TV reflection it's younger sal he has pigtails
Larrys dead. I can't accept thst wth..
yall. Why us everyone being all deep n shit
"I'm sort of in the middle of something" honestly props to sal for not just giving up. I would be strong enough for that.
Yea these fuckers r possessed how do we unposses them
am I is have stupid
Im dumb
Gwyss who's quitting for the night cuz I couldn't figure out the guitar thing !!
Will do tmmrw
Aorry for this one being kinda depressing </3 I'm waking up in 5 hrs save .e
@mypinterestgotbannedsoimherenow
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FALLING FOR YOUR SMILE AND EYES
EPISODE 11. 😍
a/n: Hi guys, this is week 1 of the gang wining the modeling raffle! Please enjoy!
Bold: Korean
Italics: Over the phone
Both: Korean and over the phone
Back to masterlist
MIN HO’s POV
A day after winning the raffle for the modeling thing, the lady, Jenny Song told us that they would be a party or like ball the day we arrived, so we should have some fancy suits and dresses.
So while Q, Dae, and I went shopping for suits, the girls went shopping for their dresses.
I found a light blue suit I really liked and got it since my size was the last one.
(Photo of suit.)
Q got a black suit, and Dae’s suit was green.
Once we met with the girls, Yuri got a pink dress, and Kitty’s was red.
A few daya later, a limo came to pick us up and to take us to Jenny’s house.
Once we arrived, everyone but Yuri was shocked.
“ Yuri, how cant you be shocked? This place is huge.” Kitty said.
“I’ve seen bigger.”
Once we got out, and into the house, Jenny was there.
“Hello you guys! Welcome to my house. You guys will be staying on the third floor.” Jenny said.
Yuri’s phone had a notification.
“Excuse me, I have to help Ae-ri with something.” Yuri said.
“She’s on the third floor right?” Jenny asked.
“Yea.”
“Okay, well I guess the tour will start on the thrid floor.”
ANDREA’s (Y/N) POV
As I was trying on my light blue dress for the party, I forgot it had a corset.
I texted Yuri cause I need the help right now.
Thank God.
A few minutes later she came in, but with everyone else.
Kitty, Q, Dae, Jenny eonnie, and… Min ho.
“Why is the universe never on my side.” I thought.
“Sorry everyone else came, our rooms were here she Jenny eonnie thought it was a great idea for us to pick our rooms first.” Yuri said as I made eye contact with Min ho.”
“Oh, it completely fine! Can you please just tie the back?” I said.
“Yea.” Yuri said coming up to tie the corset.
“Thank you so much.” I said.
“Of course.” She said.
“Hi Kitty.” I said running up to her, giving her a hug.
“Andrea, hi!” Kitty replied.
“Hi Q and Dae.”
“Hey, I missed you so much.” Q said.
“Me too.”
“Hi Andrea.” Dae said.
“Um, Min ho… Hi.” I said.
“Hi..” Min ho said.
When we made eye contact, he was giving me a weird look with his eyes.
“I’ll show your guy’s rooms, follow me.” Jenny said.
“I’m going to stay behind, I need to talk to Andrea.” Min ho said.
“Alright.” Jenny said.
Once everyone left, Min ho looked at me.
“Can you please stop ignoring me, and actually talk to me.” He said.
“I’m not ignoring you.” I said.
“You used to ignore Kitty, now you’re talking with her.”
“ Me and her made up.”
“Well why can’t you make up with me?”
“Because I like you okay, and when I saw you kiss Madison, I wish jealous of her. And I had enough. So I left and went here to live with Jenny and be a model at her company.”
Min ho was speechless.
“Since I basically just confessed to you, you have to say something atleast.” I said.
“Meet me at the kitchen tomorrow night.” He said as he got his stuff and went to join the others.
TIME SKIP: THE PARTY
When the party started, Jenny went up on the stage and gave a speech.
“Hello to everyone who came here to this party, thank you. And thank you to the following students from KISS
Q Shazabin
Yuri Han
Dae Heon Kim
Min ho
Kitty Song Covey
And, Andrea Song Covey.” Jenny said.
Everyone was clapping.
“By the we have a bar with alcohol for the adults, but the minors get mocktails.”
Everyone laughed.
“Anyway, let’s start the party.” Jenny said.
Everyone started clapping.
Into the party, there was a lot of guys around my age, stating at me.
I felt like a person on display.
“Hey, pretty.” A dude said.
“The names is Joon.”
“Um, hi?” I said.
He just blabbed on the shit.
“He is so annoying.” I thought.
I looked at Min ho ( who was looking at me already, weird.)
He started to come over which means he got my signal.
“Hey dude, so sorry but your hitting on someone’s who’s taken.” He said.
“So?I don’t see her boyfriend,” Joon said.
“You don’t have too. As one of her best friends. I need you to respectfully go away. Or I can have the public go shit on you.” Min ho said.
“Whatever.” Joon said walking away.
“Thank you.” I whispered to Min ho.
“Welcome puppy.” He said.
Gosh, i miss the hearing that from him so much.
A few minutes after Joon hit on me, I saw another dude hitting on Kitty and Yuri.
“Come on, give me a try Yuri. I can change you to being straight.” The dude said.
“Um, no sir.” Kitty said.
“She told you many times that she is gay. Please respect that.”
“Woah, don’t get all feisty on me. But are you straight?”
“I don’t know but-Kitty said before being cut off.
“Hey cutie, what’s your name?” I said.
“Oh, uh. The names Adam.” He said.
“Cool! Do you wanna get some mocktails with me?”
“Sure, let’s go.”
When we made it to the bar, I got the 3 of darkest mocktail I could get.
Thank God he was wearing a white suit.
“Oh wow, that’s a lot of mocktails.” Adam said.
“Yea, it is. Do you want some?.”
“Yea-.” He said before I poured all the mocktails on his suit.
“Bro, what the fuck?” He said before I slapped his face too.
“Before you hit on a girl who tells you that she is gay, don’t say “I can change you.” THATS BULLSHIT. And why would you ask the other girl next to her to see if she’s straight. That’s weird. PLUS THE GIRL THATS GAY MIGHT BE HER DAMN FRIEND.” I said.
“Well you don’t know that.” He said.
“Okay, I totally don’t. It’s not like the girl that’s gay might be my one of my best friends and the other girl my FRATERNAL TWIN!”
“Gosh, don’t get all emotional on me. Are you on your period?”
I’ve had it.
“Stand up really quick.” I said.
“Okay.” He said standing up.
As soon we was standing up, I went for it.
I kicked him in the balls.
But kicking him, I slipped but someone caught me.
“Min ho, thank God you caught me.” I said.
“Welcome. But I think we need to leave.” He said.
“BYE WHORE!” Adam yelled.
“Never mind, continue your business.” Min ho said as he let me go.
As soon as I got my two feet on the ground, I was attacking that dickhead.
“ Andrea!” Kitty said before restraining me.
“What?”
“Stop hitting him.”
“No!”
“Let me take her.” Min ho said, taking me and carrying me bridal style.
We went to garden, and found a bench to sit on.
“Can I hug you?” I asked.
“Um, why?”
“Because, I’m genuinely sorry, plus I miss you.”
“Fine.” He said opening his arms.
I hugged him really tight for about ten minutes.
“We should probably get back.” He said.
“Yea.” I said as we got up and headed back.
TIME SKIP: THE NEXT NIGHT
I went to the kitchen to get some water in your favorite pink pj at 9:45 pm.
(Pink pj for visual.)
“Andrea.” Min ho said.
“OH MY.. That scared me.”
“Do you remember the thing I told you yesterday?”
“Nope, not at all. But it’s good I’m here now!”
“Okay. Do you wanna hear my answer?” He asked.
“No, totally not. WHAT DO YOU THINK??” I said.
“Oh wow, okay. So… yea. I like you Andrea..”
“You do? Oh gosh I’m gonna faint.” I said.
“Please don’t.”
“Fine, but, let me do something.” I said before jumping into his arms with my arms around his neck.
He brings to the counter and places me there.
“Can I kiss you?” He asked.
“Only if you consider me your girlfriend, then yes.” I said.
“Okay, girlfriend.” He said before kissing me.
After kissing for a bit I askes him this, “Do you wanna sleep in my room? I have face masks.” I said.
“Why not.”
We spent the whole night laughling, cuddling, doing face maks, and binging watching shows.
This was one of the best night I’ve ever had.
A/N: FINALLY NO ANDREA KARMA!! WOOHOO. We have gotten to the good part of Falling for your smile and eyes.
PREV EPISODE MASTERLIST NEXT EPISODE
TAGLIST: @chaewon-slays @cherrriesss @lysira340
Copyrights © 2023 xo-lesserafim. All rights reserved. I do not own XO, Kitty , Netflix does. do not copy, translate, or repost anything without my permission. Photos are from pininterest
#min ho x reader#sang heon lee#minho x oc#minho x y/n#minho x you#netflix#x reader#xo kitty#to all the boys series#x yn#xo lesserafim#xo kitty fanfic#fanfic#fanfiction
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if you’re wondering why I’m having to repost this, or why you were perhaps previously following me but no longer are, please refer to this post. I was able to retrieve this thanks to the very lovely friends who have relentlessly sifted through tumblr archives to recover them, thank you all so much!! ♡
WARNING: spoilers for end of Deathly Hallows Part II, and also some HEAVY angst in this one
Glass Heart
George’s tired eyes turn to the window, finally seeing the sunlight he had restlessly been waiting for. Sitting up and bed and swinging his legs over the side, George sighs, hanging his head and closing his eyes. He wishes more than anything that he could allow himself to sleep, but he knows what will greet him if he does, and he cant face it, not yet.
Strolling down the hallway, George’s footsteps echo down the eerily quiet flat, setting his teeth on edge. He catches sight of the envelope that he left on the table yesterday. He recognises the handwriting on the front as that of his mother’s, and he knows that it’s a Howler of some kind. Judging by the fact it hasnt exploded, it isnt an angry one, which disappoints George a little. All night he was waiting for that explosion of his mother’s voice, the anger that he would love to hear in response to the pranks that filled his childhood. He’d choose to hear that over his mother’s sadness any day, and due to this Howler not revealing itself as Howler’s typically do, George worries that his mother’s sadness is exactly what is concealed in the envelope.
Unfortunately for George, his selfless love for his family gets the better of him, overtaking his own grief and anguish in order to hear his mother’s words and try to help in whatever way he can. Popping open the seal, George drops the envelope back on the table and leans against the wall, knowing there’s no way he can prepare himself for whatever he’s about to hear.
“Hello George, dear.”
The gaping hole in his heart aches at the softness in his mother’s voice, tears already stinging his eyes.
“I worry about you, up in that flat. Will you come home soon? We miss you terribly, your father and I…it isnt easy, for any of us, but with you not here, it almost feels like-“
His mother is too broken to utter the words that George knows she wants to say. With him not there, it feels like she’s lost both him and Fred.
“(Y/N) misses you terribly, too, you know.”
She changes the subject, the mention of you lifting her spirits even now. You were still back at the Burrow, where you had spent most of your life thus far. That first year at the train station, your muggle parents happened to ask the Weasley’s for help crossing onto the platform that they’d previously denied the mere existence of. Your parents both worked overseas, so even if you hadnt ended up as a witch, you would have been sent to a boarding school of some kind. When the Weasley twins returned home from their first year at Hogwarts to tell their parents all about what a wonderful friend you were to them, and explained that you wouldnt really have a home to go to, they were more than happy to have you stay with them, and you did. On occasion, your parents were home long enough to spend a few days with you, but for the most part, you were the Weasley’s plus one, and you couldnt have been happier.
“Ever since you moved out, she’s been quieter. She wears that old jumper of yours everyday, I have to sneak into her room just to clean it when she’s not home!”
George’s mother laughs, and the sound brings a smile to his face, despite the tears rolling down his cheeks. He didnt know you were still wearing that jumper he gave you after your fourth year. Well, technically he didnt give it to you; Molly accidentally placed it in your laundry pile and when you tried it on, George told you to keep it because it looked better on you anyway.
He last saw you on the worst day of his life, but before that, it had been months since he’d laid eyes on you. Having already moved out of his family home by the time the whole world started to change, he only heard about what had happened to you through what his family told him. Apparently, you’d gone into hiding with your muggle parents, because they were always travelling from place to place and with their absence in your life, nobody working for the dark lord would ever think to look for them. Still, you sent coded letters to the Weasley family by owl whenever you could, wishing them all safety and telling them not to worry about you.
Seeing you that day, running straight for him and stupifying anyone who got in your way, George remembers the feeling of his heart getting caught in his throat. Wrapping his arms around your waist and lifting you off the ground, clinging to each other like it was the last chance you’d ever get to do so, because you didnt know if it would be. Neither of you spoke a word, there wasnt time, in seconds you were placed on the ground and standing back to back, fighting evil from two fronts. He remembers his heart pounding in his chest in the aftermath of holding you close, feeling like he could win the battle singlehandedly because he knew you were safe. That heart is long gone now.
“She’s quieter now…we all are. Your father and I arent sleeping well, and so many nights I’ve walked by her door, hearing her crying, and when I go to check on her, she’s sleeping.”
Fresh, invisible wounds tear through George as he relives all the times he’s heard you cry. In your first year, when you found out your parents wouldnt be able to afford taking time off for Christmas, and Fred and George had to beg their mother to let them stay at Hogwarts with you while they went away to Romania. In your second year, when you were scared that your muggle blood would get you killed in the Chamber of Secrets, and George kept you safe. In your fourth year, when you came up with a cover story to get Fred and George out of trouble and Umbridge forced you to write with a quill that carved the words “I must not lie and think it is brave”, and George very nearly stormed into Umbridge’s office to destroy her, but you clinging to him as you cried held him back. In your seventh year, when Fred and George left Hogwarts to open their shop, and moved out of their family home to live in the flat above it; you cried your eyes out and told George that you loved him, but there wasnt time to explain what that meant. And finally, on the worst day of his life, when you screamed and sobbed beside what was left of Fred.
“She dreams about what we’re afraid to dream about, dear, and she needs you, just as much as you need her.”
If his mother had said such a thing at any other time, George would have disagreed. Before, there was never time to explore whatever it was between you and him. The twins were always off planning new pranks and inventions, and while sometimes you were their accomplice, there was never a moment long enough for you and George to just talk. Every time the twins were around, it was like you were living life at a higher speed, everything happened so fast and it only slowed down when they were gone. They were a force to be reckoned with, and you adored them for that. It was only when George told you about their plans to leave Hogwarts that things really set in for you. Like the Hogwarts train had hit you at full speed, you realised that you had wasted every moment with him, and although those moments had been fun, they could have been so much more, and then he was gone, just like that.
Before, George would have agreed that he was always too busy, too excited about whatever was coming next for him and Fred. His world had slowed down to a speed he didnt like, ever since his other half had gone, just like that.
“I think it would be good for both of you if (Y/N) came to live with you, she’d liven up the flat a bit. Maybe she could even help out with the shop someday! You need her, George.”
He can tell by her voice that Molly Weasley has never been more sure of anything in her life, and George isnt in any position to challenge her on that. Soon enough, he finds himself showered, dressed, and lifting his wand. By no means does he think he’s ready to accept help from anyone, but he will do anything to get out of that flat, and regardless of what his mother really means, he knows that she’s right. He needs you.
Apparating outside the Burrow, George feels miserable. His family home is still in the process of being rebuilt after the war, and seeing it barely standing is almost enough to make him want to turn back, until he hears laughter. From the other side of the front door, George can hear his mother and father actually laughing. It has been months since he’s visited home, and that sound was a forgotten memory even then. Gently pushing the door open so as to cause as little disruption as possible, George steps into his family home. He’s immediately greeted by the sight of you teaching his mother a silly dance in the kitchen, while his father watches, and all of you laugh together. You’re wearing an apron over the jumper George gave you, and splatters of countless ingredients cover it, as well as stain your face in places, but George swears you have never looked more beautiful. The sound of the door closing brings three pairs of eyes to him, and the laughter stops quite suddenly.
Before he even has time to register what’s happening, George is in the arms of his mother, who still manages to hold him even when he’s so much taller than her. His father hugs him next, as tearful as his mother as they embrace the son they were beginning to worry they would lose to grief. Neither of them say anything, they’re too shocked to speak, and they move to stand either side of George so that he can see you.
With Ron living with Hermione, and Ginny living with Harry, it would make sense for you to go and find a place of your own, fly the nest like the rest of them. But you stayed, to care for the people that had cared for you when you needed them, to help them feel a little less lonely.
And there you stand, your hands covering your mouth as tears blur the perfect image of George Weasley standing before you. The first genuine smile he has felt in months wobbles on his face as he stares at you, and unlike the last time you saw him, you dont run at him. You take one careful, unsteady step, and then he strides over to you, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his chest.
“Missed you, Georgie.” Your shaky voice reaches his ears, and he feels the shattered fragments of his heart tremble, the fight to bring themselves back together reigniting.
“Missed you too, sweetheart.” George sniffles, and you feel your own fractured heart clench at his words.
Sweetheart, that was something he first called you in your second year, when you were crying in fear of being killed for being muggle born. George had pulled you into his arms and told you “I wont let anything happen to you, sweetheart, promise”, and ever since, he has been your safe place. Every single time he was there when you needed him after that, that is what he would call you.
“What are you doing here?” You question, pulling away from him to wipe your eyes.
Obviously, you’re ecstatic to see him, but if he’s just dropping by to pick something up and leave again, you dont want to get your hopes up.
“I was wondering if you’d like to…move in, with me. Maybe help with the shop, if you’re up to it. Supposed to be a two-person place, after all.” George had planned to chuckle as he said that, but the weight of his own words cause a lump to form in his throat instead, and he can no longer hold your gaze.
He doesnt see the way you cast a worried glance to Molly and Arthur, who both shake their heads and smile at you encouragingly, assuring you they’ll be fine if you choose to go. And he doesnt see the way you look up at him, staring into the anguish that sits deep behind his sad, sad eyes, that are too scared to meet yours.
“It would be my honour, Georgie.” You tell him, causing his head to snap back down to read your face, checking for any sign of doubt, and when he cant find any, he smiles, and you smile right back.
“But first, have you had breakfast? I was just making some.” You gesture to your dirty apron, which has consequently smeared George’s clothes with some stains as a result of the hug you shared.
“I havent eaten, no.” He admits sheepishly, knowing before he’s even finished his sentence that you’re going to give him a disapproving look, and you dont disappoint.
“Well, that’s one thing we’re gonna have to sort out when I go back with you: regular meal times! Routines are important-“ You begin, but George cuts you off by rolling his eyes playfully.
“-because they help make everything feel more manageable, I know.” He finishes your sentence, having heard that phrase from you a thousand times. Glancing at his parents, George knows for a fact that if it hadnt been for you, the two of them would have fallen into the same irregular schedule, ruled over by grief. You saved his parents from that, and in turn, their company saved you. Well, as much as their company could. You were always a little lonely whenever George wasnt around.
Molly and Arthur choose to go and sit outside while George follows you into the kitchen. He leans against the counter, watching as you busy yourself with cooking spells.
“I’ve heard that you’ve formed quite the attachment to that jumper.” He cant help commenting, a cheeky smile on his face as he effortlessly slips back into the flirty banter that the two of you have always had, but something about you doesnt quite feel right.
Looking over your shoulder at George, you sigh dramatically. “Guess you could call me the clingiest witch in the west.”
George chuckles at that, shaking his head. “Nah, not clingy. Utterly adorable, but not clingy.”
You raise an eyebrow. “Oh, utterly adorable, am I?”
George smirks. “Definitely.”
Silence ensues, throwing you both into the sickening realisation that at this point in your flirting, Fred would usually interrupt. Sadness casts her cloak over the two of you, shrouding you in a grey, slow haze.
“Im sorry I didnt save him.”
And there it is. Your words cut through the air like a knife, straight to George’s heart, or rather, the place where it would have been. By no means was your happiness an act, but it was something you exaggerated to help heal his family, it was only a matter of time before its permanence wavered in his presence. George has always been able to see right through you.
“What are you talking about?” He questions carefully, very worried about what you’re going to say next as you fix your gaze on the dishes you’re washing with your bare hands rather than a spell. In the background, your spells continue to cook whatever wondrous breakfast you have planned. Washing up is your chosen distraction, or subtle punishment.
“If I hadnt stayed with you, if I’d gone to find him, I could have- he could still- even if it meant…” You close your eyes, tears slipping down your cheeks and you squeeze your lips inside your mouth to hold back a sob.
“Dont even think that, not for a second.” George’s voice is low, firm, and deadly serious.
You shake your head, eyes opening wide as you stare at him. “I cant stop thinking it, George. I have seen this family in so much pain, people I adore living through such agony every single day, and you disappeared completely! If I’d been with him, if I saved him, if it had been me, none of this would have happened! All of you would have been better off.” You look away from him again, and George takes the single stride necessary to reach you, gently lifting your hands out of the soapy water and grabbing a towel to dry your raw fingers that have been scrubbing through your anxiety-fuelled vent.
“Listen to me, (Y/N). There wont be a day that goes by where I dont miss Freddie.” That’s the first time he’s said his name since that day, it chokes him up immediately. “But I would never, ever want you to trade places with him, to have you gone instead of him. If you had gone, none of us would have been able to hold the rest of us together like you have, like you’ve always done. You are everything, (Y/N), and I wouldnt trade your life for anything, or anyone. I cant even think about a world without you in it-“ George shakes the thought out of his head, tears stinging his eyes as he’s briefly sent to kneeling at your side and holding your cold hand, sobbing and begging you to just open your eyes.
Your warm hands on his face bring him back to the present, your bright eyes staring up into his.
“Im sorry George, I cant imagine a world without you, either.”
Holding your hands against his face, George sniffles. “You’ll never need to.”
A small smile curls in the corner of your mouth, and he cant help mirroring it.
“You and me, we’re gonna get through this, you hear me?” You raise an eyebrow playfully, making George chuckle through his tears.
“Loud and clear, sweetheart, loud and clear.”
And as if by magic, he feels the first shattered piece of his heart slowly slot back into place.
#george weasley#george weasly x reader#george weasley imagine#x reader#harry potter#imagine#imagines#fanfic#fanfiction
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i cant help but find it so funny that we're on like literal opposite time zones 😭 but anyway,,, have some fruit for that ask game :3
🍒🥝🫐🍊
I AM SO SORRY for taking so long to answer these asks. college is currently kicking my ASS so bad. <3
and i keep forgetting that where it's noon for ME, it's the middle of the night for you <3
fruit emoji ask game for fic writers
🍒 What’s your favorite character dynamic to write? (Can be romantic or platonic, specific or general!)
my favorite dynamic, whether romantic, platonic, or a secret third thing to write, is definitely Jupiter and Uranus, Jupiter and Saturn, Saturn and Uranus, and Planet X, Jupiter and Saturn. so much romantic tension rolled into all pairs that I wonder if they're just going to start a poly make-out session. there's also Luna and Earth, I think Luna having to get Earth to stop doing stupid things all the time is so funny I giggle a little when Luna gets SO TIRED looking after him.
🥝 What’s your favorite trope/AO3 tag to write?
call me basic bitch, but my favorite trope is writing angst and hurt/comfort! i want those tears to be LICKED. or, I want them to keep crying, your pick! another thing I like writing about is canon compliant. i just want to see what others are doing during canon, filling in canon gaps. it's very interesting 2 me
🫐 What’s your favorite underrated thing in your fandom? (A ship that only you seem to write for, a character there’s almost no fics about, a trope that criminally hasn’t been written yet, etc.)
UM UH UH. What's the most underrated thing in the solarballs fandom rn? I need more Titan fics that don't have Luna in them. I really don't care about them together LMAO I'm sorry. AND MORE JUPITURAX!!!
this'll be more multi-fandom: ok so I REALLY wish that there's more PTSD Ford Pines fics in Gravity Falls, and I guess about how much impact the Portal Incident had on him and his character as a whole? and I was dreaming last night of Ford with prosthetic legs, and I wish someone would write that bc I'm too stupid to do so- basically Ford fics about his time in the portal! or maybe I just inhaled ALL fics about Ford in a week immediately.
then for demon slayer... FANFIC WRITERS!!! DROP ANOTHER YORIICHI AND MICHIKATSU ONE SHOT AND MY LIFE IS YOURS.
🍊 Who’s a character you don’t write for that often, but keep meaning to write for more? (They’re so interesting! But maybe you have trouble pinning them down, or keep getting distracted by another blorbo…)
I wish I could write more about Earth, and I have MANY ideas about what he is like when fics are centered about him, but I just don't know how to put it on paper. like, at all. so I just kick Jupiter in the guts :D!
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i have emerged from my cave to give u this lil thought because i was listening to tim mcgraw by taylor swift — being high school sweethearts with one of the hughes boys but it doesnt work out (maybe its hockey related, maybe its something else) ,, you both grow up and sometimes you pass by each other when theyre back in michigan but even though you've clearly moved on (maybe youve got a family, maybe youve moved away too) they havent and everything reminds them of you and they cant help but wonder what couldve happened if everything worked out or if they had put in more effort into keeping you
-> swiftie anon <3 PS!! Been catching up on the blurbs/scenarios and ive loved every single one!!!! if they're still open,,,, can i send a request 👀
I literally had the biggest smirk on my face when I read this just now. Welcome back Nonnie. 🥰 I was literally thinking about you Nonnie last night because I’m trying to plan my two taylor swift songs for the eras fic exchange and I was like “I wish my Swiftie anon was here so I could talk to them about this”
Ooo okay I love that idea but which brother?? For some reason it feels like Quinn to me? But I’m open for suggestions and I will def be writing this at some point.
Okay so technically they are closed, only because the same 10 requests have been sitting in my inbox for an embarrassing amount of time and I needed to stop procrastinating by cutting off other requests. But it’s because they are all smut and any smut I’ve written recently I just don’t vibe with. But anyway I will make an exception for you since one it’s my blog and two because ppl haven’t been listening to the deadline anyway. 🤣🤣
I’m so happy you’ve come out of your crave you are welcome anytime Swiftie Anon. 💕
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Odorouze/Let's dance - Yorushika - Translyrics!
💃 yippee yippee yippee
Ahh, with my clear as transparent heart
Cant help but laugh, i cant believe the world we lived that life in
Ahh, what did i ever choose music for
i'm laughing, i just cant believe the person i was then
And all i wish to convey
This song, and these words i'm trying so hard to say
Fizzling out, flying high, taken by the wind, one with the sky
So, gone with these sentimentalities, useless, but i guess its no fault of mine
If you even still can hear, and if you still at all wanna know
Hey, at least youve got nothing to hide
Even if just one more time, let's dance all night
Ahh, living here, human, i'm done
Its alright, you humans are so dumb, and ive just had enough
Ahh, like when i flaunted that dumb new guitar
I guess I wish i could still laugh at me from back then
All i still wish to convey
winter nights, summer cries, our words that broke all to say
Burning out, floating up high, ashes of our feelings in the sky
I want these feelings i thought we'd lost long ago, to give up on ever finding mine
If you wish we'd never met, or if you would just rather forget
Hey, dont make yourself wait any longer
Because these memories can't last, till dawn let's dance
Ahh, you know its the end when im giving up on music
My memory, even fading it's gotta describe you perfectly
Then im sure theres nothing else left that i needed to do
Thats all i wanted to do
Since the days i knew you passed, nothing that matters is gonna last
you seem to be running away too fast, hey, let me set this to a melody
You're out of excuses for me,
your memory's all i can see
forget it, dance with me one last time!
Fizzling out, flying high, with all you have take to the sky
Our feelings we could never word, together we didnt need words anyway
Please think of me as a friend if you also wish this wouldn't end
Hey, you've got nothing else left to hide
So before we're truly free
I'll ask once more if you will dance with me?
#yorushika#translyrics#ヨルシカ#these are so old#but i still like them a bit#n buna#idk how to feel about some of the wording but i found them and thought why not
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