#last attempt bc im tired
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bunnihearted · 8 months ago
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🧸🧃⛈️
#so like late last night i started to get rlly panicky nd upset#bc it's v much looking like im gnna fail my english class. i need to be done next wednesday which means i need to work rlly hard#nd go to school extra to have a presentation nd do tests etc etc#nd im still in pain after surgery nd im rlly depressed bc of my physical health so i just dont think i can be strong nd make it this time#in my almost breakdown i wrote a self referral to the clinic/psych department for personality disorders....#it usually takes them around 2 days to answer you but this time at like 8am they sent me a message AND called me#(i think. im not certain it's them bc i havent checked the voice message or the reply lmaooo. but it should be them)#the thing abt having avpd is now im immediately stressed af nd i regret sending it. i donr wanna check their reply#also it might be bc i wrote a lot abt killing myseld etc etc nd now im worried theyre gnna be like girlie get checked in!!!! lol T-T#i just needed to be very clear nd act frsutrted nd desperate bc i have never gotten treatment in 10yrs nd im TIRED!!!!#my initial reaction is to avoid at all costs nd just pull my covers above my head nd pretend like i dont have to check their reply lol#i dont wannaaaaaa. i take it back i dont want help!!! its fine i dont wanna try or work hard let me rot#why did i do this!!!!! fml. anyway... i'll check later today bc since its early i can still use the excuse of sleepinf thru the days#many ppl working w mentally ill ppl understand that it's normal actually to switch the day around nd sleep during the days sksksk#but also i have no idea how many typos r in here bc im not wearing my glasses whoopsie#yeah.. anyway im gonna try to go back to sleep nd not think abt it#hopefully it wasnt even them calling 🤡 i know i HAVE to check later but not now i can take a few hours#then today i need to figure out if im gnna make one last attempt w my eng class or give up idk what to do
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guinevereslancelot · 1 year ago
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what if i ate something besides toast and saltines 🤔
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szczylpierdolony · 1 year ago
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god i hate summer vacation
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upsidedowngrass · 2 years ago
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fun fact is in this blogs drafts was a long essay i planned out a few months back abt how liam never actually DID want to kill airy, even when he tried to. it was largely abt how this wasnt something he wanted to do for catharsis, and it wasnt something he wanted to do AT all and that this was a rash decision borne from fear. because this is important to me and i STILL think abt it sooo so much. maybe One Day ill finish writing it
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panlyv · 1 year ago
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wtv
#self harm tw#it's funny how much crueler i am with myself now than when i was younger#because ive been shing for hhh idk 8 9 years now#it started as me wanting to punish myself for all the guilty i felt inside#and it went on for a long long time because i just felt horrible and i needed to disappear so things would be alright#but i couldn't kill myself so i just hurt my body instead to try and make up for it#i was sad and scared and confused back then#but now? im just angry. im tired. im fed up of myself#the cuts are much deeper and longer and there's so many more of them#and i just keep doing it#i honestly dont think there's much rhyme or reason for it rn. i just wanna hurt myself bc i hate myself so much i want to fucking die#and yeah maybe ill attempt again but this time ill make damn sure it works#but i still never harm my wrists or anywhere visible#its always my waist/hips/thighs and i never wear shorts or anything above my ankles#like i cant tell u the last time i wore actual shorts or like proper beachwear (i live in the beach) bc my hips are just scars#prob been like 10 years since ive worn swimwear lmfao thanks gender dysphoria and self harm !#but yeah now i just want it to hurt and bleed and make me feel some goddamn thing that inst this fucking void#im so fucking tired dude#what's the point of anything#nothing feels meaningful or real or important enough#im an unlovable broken motherfucker and im fed up of never getting better#oh but u need to stop being so pessimistic then !! suck my dick ive tried pretending i wanted to live and be happy and it never worked#so again whats the fucking point#im done here#dawn.txt
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little-miss-dilf-lover · 1 month ago
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SICKNESS COMFORT W/ LOGAN.
bc im a desperate, conniving attention seeking little sick bitch rn and im not sorry. I just miss and want him!!!!!
implied fem!reader, fluff. 742 words
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Sickness bugs come and they go, but never do they get any easier. The migraines seeming to be more blinding than the last, the ringing in your ears sounding more prominent than the time before. It wasn’t a nice feeling by all means, and you found yourself constricted to the sickly comfort of your bed.
You were in the beginning stage of your bug. The dismissed aches and pains in your body now proving to be symptoms. The pressure behind your eyes you ignored for lack of sleep, lethargy you once again passed off as lack of sleep. 
But now, sitting at the edge of your bed in your towel with a bowl in your lap, your jittering ankle bobbing the sickness vessel, you knew it to be more than just ‘lack of sleep.’
“How’ya feelin’?” Logan asks as he steps into your room, voice quiet. 
You shrug, keeping your gaze cast down into the designated sick bowl, staring at the bubbly spit swirl at the bottom. It was gross really, but somehow it helped to not swallow it. 
“Did you wash?” he questions, referring to the bath he ran for you before heading out to the store. The errand of restocking your painkillers. 
He walks closer to you, placing the paper pharmacy bag on your nightstand before moving to sit beside you. He places the back of his hand over your forehead, gauging whether your temperature has grown any hotter since the last time he checked. 
“Yeah,” you say, the word barely audible. You would nod, but that would only make your head worse. “It didn’t help,” you anticipate his next question, answering before he even gets a chance to ask. 
He places his hand from your forehead to your shoulder, his grip light as looks over the side of your face. “You wanna get some rest?” he asks, the question almost rhetorical.
You hum, the sound a wordless attempt of answering without it being too strenuous.
Logan returns your hum with one of his own, though his is far deeper — far more soothing than what you offered him mere moments before. He stands from his seat beside you and heads to your dresser in search of something you could wear, something worn and old enough looking.
He fishes through your clothes until he finds something suitable, not wanting you to ruin something nice and pretty with spit or snot or vomit. He makes his way back over to you silently and takes the bowl from your hold, placing it on the floor beside your bed. Adjusting the tee in his hands, he finds the neck hole and places it over your head, carefully pushing it onto you.
You help him help you, extending your arms into the other two holes so he can roll it over you — your towel falling with the lift of your arms. Though, he doesn’t dare look down, instead keeping his eyes on you, on the dressing of you.
And once your top half is clothed, he bends to the knee in front of you and picks up your under foot. His hold just as careful as he rolls fluffy socks onto your feet — the pair he knew you loved most.
You look down to him, eyes flicking from your feet to his face, offering a soft, sweet, tired smile as thanks.
“Come on, sweet thing,” he stands, groaning faintly with the exertion on his forever old knees. 
He tugs on the covers, pulling back the corner to make an open triangle for you to get inside. You do as silently instructed, placing your head on the pillow, bringing your knees up slightly to keep warm. 
Logan tugs on the lamp chain, turning off the light as he moves to sit near you, parking a seat by your stomach — in the gap of your laid s-like position. Twisting in to look at you, he soothes over the covers, flattening them before moving to your face. His palm resting on your cheek as his thumb swipes across the skin beside your nose and under your eyes. 
His hand remains glued to your face as he practically caresses you to sleep, the delicate touch of something so rugged seeming to put your mind and body at ease. But he’ll be waiting there beside you all night in case you were to need him, listening to you sleep doing more for his body than his own sleep ever could.
⎯ ☆ ⎯
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moonlight1110 · 9 months ago
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Crawling back to you
ex-boyfriend!Ghost x Reader ; (Late) Valentines Special ;)
Your ex-boyfriend who comes banging at your door in the middle of the night. He desperately wants you back, and when he invites himself in, is there really nothing else you can do?
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Tags: afab!reader, p in v, smut, nsfw, vaginal sex, rough sex (kinda idk), mating press, pathetic!Simon, far from canon simon, i write with badjhur's voice in my ear, not propfread, proofread anyway BC I hate typos
Notes: planned on writing something for valentines but uni fucked me sideways so im posting today <3
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"What the hell..." You jump as three hard knocks come from your door, almost as if the person on the other side was just a second away from breaking it down.
You didn't need to go through your mental library to know who it was, you knew exactly who was at your door at this ungodly hour because who else in their right mind would show up uninvited except him.
With a grunt, you roll off of bed and trudge to your front door. A heavy feeling pressing down on your chest as you got closer and closer to the door, you contemplated if opening it was even a good option, but knowing who was on the other side, choosing to ignore him was going to be a poor decision on your part.
With an tired sigh, you grabbed the door knob, squeezing it as doubts ran through your mind, but you are snapped out of it when he knocks, even harder than before.
"What are you doing?!" You ask, trying not to scream at him to avoid receiving another noise complaint from your overbearing neighbors when you opened the door slightly to peek out the small crack of it. Standing on the other side was someone you knew all too well.
"Let me in" his voice was low as he looked down at you, dark eyes staring at you from the opening of his balaclava. "Please..." He took a step forward, placing a hand on your door, but you stayed firm. "Simon, you can't just come here in the middle of the night and expect me to let you in" you argued, hardening the hand that was holding your door.
"I miss you, baby, come on..." He pushed the door slightly, you knew you wouldn't stand a chance even if you tried your hardest to shut the door. With how strong and large Simon was, trying to fight back against him was next to impossible.
"Simon, please..." You looked at him, brows furrowing. However, even at your attempts to stand by your decision, there was a part of you that wanted him to just push your door open... An unexplainable feeling, you thought.
"Take me back... I'll do anything" He sounded desperate, his voice sounded unlike the person you thought you knew, he sounded hurt, vulnerable, not like the usual stone cold and stoic Ghost you knew.
"You broke up with me remember... You can't just go back on that when you want to" your expression hardened in contrast to his which softened as he looked into your eyes. He regretted it, deeply.
"I did, I know that but I didn't know I would be making the biggest mistake of my life, love..." He steps closer, pushing your door open just a bit again. "Don't call me that... Just don't" you shake your head in disapproval but that small part of you just misses the way he called you that, how it rolled off his tongue like honey, you missed it.
"Just let me in, let's talk... I miss you" the last part comes out as a mumbled plea as he pushes your door open finally, stepping inside like he never left. Those three words just made you want to jump over the boundaries you so desperately tried to build up, but all you could do was step aside and let him in, there was no point in fighting him.
"What's there left to talk about, Simon?" You sighed, crossing your arms over your chest as Simon removed his shoes, it looked so familiar next to yours...
"I want you back, I can't fuckin' live without you..." His brows knit together as he looks down at you, reaching out but you step back with a disapproving look. "Then why did you end it in the first place if you were just gonna come back to me anyway..." Your hands fall to your sides with a defeated sigh leaving your lips.
"I told you, it was the distance, my work... I thought breaking up with you would be the best choice for the both f'us..." Ignoring your attempts at creating space between you, he steps closer, caging you between his arms as he leaned against the wall, effectively trapping you under him.
"I was wrong, baby... So fuckin' wrong..." he whispered, his eyes silently pleading for your to just listen. He leaned forward so close you could feel his hot breath even through the fabric of his balaclava.
"I didn't even want to leave you..." You started, your face scrunching as you remembered the events that happened the day he cut things off between the two of you. "You made up so many reasons, so many excuses... You put words in my mouth..." You looked away, feeling your chest tighten again at the recollection of your memories together. It hurt to bring up and remember but with seeing Simon standing in front of you again, it was impossible to push those thoughts away.
"I know, I know..." He took your chin inbetween his index and thumb, willing you to look back at him. His expression was one of guilt and desperation, that much was clear with the way he was looking at you.
"But I can't stand another day without you, been regretting that decision every fuckin' day, love..." He leans in, snaking a hand around your waist. You want to pull away, to push him off and tell him to fuck off from you forever but you don't, you just cant find it in you to push him away when all you wanted was to be with him.
"Those months away from you felt like an eternity, don't wanna feel that anymore..." He pulls you closer, holding you tightly against his chest with his nose now inhaling the scent of your hair from the crook of your neck.
"We can't... This is the type of shit that complicates things, Simon..." you place your hands on his chest as if you even wanna push him off you. "I don't care..." He groans and pulls his balaclava off, breathing against your neck. It makes you squirm the way his hands are travelling down now, you missed it more than you were willingly to openly admit to him anyway, but that's no issue for how your body is responding.
"Fuck if it means we'll get complicated, I need you back..." He kisses at your neck, still familiar with all the spots that just made you melt. "Can't be away from you for another fuckin' day, baby..." He groans, pinning you against the wall by your hips, grinding a knee to your clothed cunt.
"Just say the word and I'll leave..." He groans, giving your throat a good lick all the way to your collarbone as his hands found your ass, kneading like he owned it. "I'll leave and I'll never come back, I won't bother you... But y'need to tell me..." His lips drag along your shoulder as he pulls you closer on his thigh, "Tell me... Tell me y'never wanna see me again, push me away..." He mumbles against the side of your neck.
Your breath hitches in your throat with the way he was talking to you, you knew Simon was a man who was true to his word and once you'd tell him to leave, he would.
"C'mon..." he retracts from your neck and pulls back to look you in the eyes, his brows are furrowed and his eyes are blown out as his eyes flicker over your features like he's trying to memorize every single detail before you told him to leave.
"I..." you scramble to find the words, you wanna tell him to leave but you also want him to stay, you two didn't even end on that much of a bad note, it was a misunderstanding, a poor decision which was made in the heat of the moment...
"Don't leave..." You give in to your emotions, just seeing Simon again after your breakup hurt like hell, but god would you curse yourself if you allowed him to leave again... You couldn't take that, seeing him walk out again, leaving you for the second time.
"Fuck..." He groans as he connects your lips, his hands are pulling at you and pinning you against the wall. It's a passionate and desperate kiss from him, which you return with your own, full of want and the same desperation you craved would be quenched for such a long time. No one did it like him, no one ever loved you like Simon Riley ever did.
Your arms find his neck as your head tilts, allowing Simon to push his tongue past your lips. He doesn't let up, doesn't get up for air, he just fucking wants you, wants to take you right then and there with how much he misses you.
His hands cup your ass as he lifts you up against the all and you wrap your legs around his torso as he finally pulls away from the kiss. "I need you, baby... Fuckin' missed you too much..." he practically growled as he sucked on your neck, walking to your bedroom.
"Simon, calm down..." You mumbled as he set you down on the bed, you could feel how rapidly his heart was beating but that only made him chuckle. "Can't calm down when I have you in my arms again, love" He stared down at you as he leaned back up, removing his shirt quickly.
"Missed you so much..." He whispered against your ear when he dove back down, making space for himself between your legs as he hovered on top of you with his arms on either side of your head. "Missed the way you feel around me..." He hummed while his hands trailed down your waist, to your hips, then just above the hem of your flimsy sleeping shorts.
"Did y'think 'bout me too? hm?" he asked, pressing a kiss to your jaw as his hand travelled under your shorts, his middle finger now circling on your wet clit through your panties. You didn't notice how you ruined your underwear until you felt how slick and uncomfortable it was when Simon pressed harder against your clit.
"Yeah... I did..." you whispered breathily, back arching at the feeling of Simon's thick fingers pleasuring you. He smirks, taking the opportunity to kiss and suck at your neck. "Mmm... Yeah?" He chuckles against your throat, parting your slick covered panties to the side to finally tease at your wet pussy.
"Fuck baby... She missed me didn't she?" he laughs, looking down at the way his hand moved from under your shorts. "Fuckin' pussy missed me too, huh?" He chuckles, as he pushes his thick finger inside you, making you gasp and grip at his arm.
"Simon!" you shut your eyes, back arching as he pressed gentle kisses against your throat. "Relax baby... need to prepare you again, been too long since I've fucked this pretty little pussy..." He coos, adding another finger to stretch you out, curling them so deliciously inside you.
"Fuck... I-" you whimper, sucking in a breath as he finds that spot inside you that just makes you break, he still knows of course, knows every single spot and every single way to make you crumble and submit to him. "I'm gonna cum, Si..." You whisper breathlessly, hands shaking around Simon's arm weakly.
Simon doesn't say anything except give you a cruel chuckle when he waits for the perfect time, just when you're about to cum to take his fingers out and it makes you shoot him a nasty glare. "Why did you do that?!" You whined, but your voice weakens at the sight of the hard bulge under his pants.
"Don't want you cummin' on anything but my cock tonight, love..." he chuckles dangerously, sitting on his knees to unbuckle his pants. He looks down at you with a hunger in his eyes, licking his lips as he finally rolls the zipper down. "C'mon, don't just stare" He smirks, snapping you out of your trance. "Right..." you blink, moving closer to him.
"Good..." he praises as he watches you tug his pants and boxers down together and tossing it down the side of the bed. "Fuck..." He hisses when he's finally free, his dick rock hard and heavy, twitching as beads of precum roll down from the tip. Your breathing quickens when you see it, it's bigger than you remember, thick and running with veins you wish you could memorize.
"On your back..." Simon commands, his voice low as he wraps a hand around his shaft to stroke his dick slowly. "But..." you look into his eyes but he shakes his head with a mean smirk when he looks at you. "As much as I wanna fuck that pretty mouth of yours, that's gonna have to wait another time" He chuckles, pushing you down on your back by your shoulder.
"I need t'fuck you, baby... Need t'feel you 'round my dick again..." he growls, watching the way your face is flushed and your legs are spread out on either side of his torso. He strokes his dick in his hands as he hums, using his free hand to slide your shorts and panties over your legs, throwing it with his pants.
"Fuckin' hell..." he groans when his eyes finally see your bare pussy, your clit twitching and your entrance clenching around nothing. It makes him fist his cock harder as he runs his free hand down your stomach, his thumb finding your clit and rolling it down in little circles.
"Stop teasing..." you say through gritted teeth as one of your hands grip the sheets under you and the other pressed against Simon's chest. "M'not teasing" He chuckles, tapping his dick on your clit a few times. "Just shut up and fuck me already, Simon..." You whine, slapping his chest pathetically.
"Gettin' feisty now, eh?" he laughs lowly as a low satisfied rumble comes from deep in his throat when he grinds his cock against your pussy, letting it catch your slick. "Need to take it slow, love... I don't wanna hurt you" Simon groans, aligning his tip with your entrance.
"Oh... god-" you breathe out matched with a long moan from Simon as pushes the tip in. It makes a lewd, sort of wet sound when he enters you. It makes your head spin in the way it makes Simon throw his head back as he pushes deeper until he's completely inside you with a hard thrust.
He rolls his thumb over your clit, waiting for your breath to steady. "Doin' so good, baby... Taking me so well..." He coos, pressing on your clit as his eyes narrow on the sight of your body, all hot just for him. "M-move, Si..." You whimper out, closing your eyes tightly and adjusting to the feel of Simon inside you again after so long.
Simon hums while he rolled his hips, slowly thrusting his cock in and out. It's slow so he can let you adjust, help you remember how good he stretches you out that it makes you all dumb and pliable for him. "Mmm, yeah... Feels so good, love" he grunts, his hips moving just a tad bit faster.
He thrusts all the way to the hilt every single time, and it feels like he goes deeper and deeper with every thrust he gives you. He squeezes at your thighs, his fingers digging into the soft flesh as he parts your legs even more, putting you in a mating press.
It makes you whimper the way you're starting to feel the slight pain of Simon's body pressed right into you. He's like an animal now, fucking you in such a primal way when he growls in your ear, encouraged by the delicious moans you give him and how you squirm and say his name in your breathy, fucked out voice.
"That's it, taking me like such a good fuckin' girl" He chuckles, driving his hips harder, the sound of his skin slapping against your cunt almost drives you crazy. He leans up, letting your legs rest as he massages them gently, a sharp juxtaposition from how hard he's fucking your weeping cunt.
"Needed this so bad, baby..." He groans, pulling your legs around his torso as he leans down to kiss at your neck. You can hear him mumbling sweet little nothings in your ear as his hands grip at your thighs and the soft skin of your waist.
"Tell me y'missed me... I wanna hear it" He mumbles against your neck, moaning lowly. He sounded so calm and so gentle yet the way his cock was filling you up and stretching you out so good was far from gentle. "Tell me y'missed this dick, baby, c'mon..." He hums, his hand travelling up to play with your tits.
"I-I mis-" You started, but the way Simon was fucking you so good made your head spin you couldn't even string a proper sentence together. He laughed, grazing his teeth over the skin of your shoulder, "Awe can't even speak anymore?" He teases, slowing his hips down and it makes you groan in disapproval.
"Why'd you slow down..." you whine, looking at him with half-lidded eyes. "Wanna hear you say you missed me first" He chuckled. It was bad enough that he slowed down, but it's even worse when he pulls out and looks down at you with a cruel smirk, stroking the cock that was supposed to be making you cum.
"Tell me how bad you missed me, baby, you can do it" He laughs lowly and he doesn't look away from you as he fists his cock to the look of pleasure on your face.
"I-I missed you Simon, so much-" you moaned out desperately as your pussy clenched on nothing. You were ready to beg for his cock again if he needed you to but you didn't have to worry for long when he turned you around, stuffing your pussy with his fat cock from behind.
"Good girl... Such a good fuckin' girl, aren't ya?" His words are so dirty it makes you tighten around him with a stifled moan as he fucks you fast and deep, not giving you a chance to adjust to the new angle he's pounding you in.
You can't respond and all you can even do is moan and take Simon's hard dick stuffing you over and over again. It doesn't take long for you to feel that tight knot forming in your stomach and Simon can feel it too from the way you're starting to tighten around him.
"Gonna cum, baby?" He asks you with a drawn out hum as he kneads your ass, watching the way it jiggles with every thrust.
You nod, moaning into your pillows as you clawed at the sheets. "Cum for me then... Cum on my dick..." He coos, pushing your hips down to give himself a better view of your ass. Your arms give out and you're practically being fucked into the bed.
Simon chuckles, taking your wrists and pulling them towards him suddenly. It makes you gasp when you feel the pressure building in your shoulders when Simon tightens his grip on your wrists.
"Si... M'close..." Your voice comes out choked out and broken, spiking up every time he bullies his cock harshly inside you and makes your eyes roll to the back of your head.
"Don't need to tell me baby, just cum f'me..." He mutters breathlessly, now holding your wrists behind your back with one hand as the other lands a harsh slap to your ass, making you whimper.
You gasp as tears rolled down your cheeks from how overwhelmed you were. "Simon... Simon..." your voice shakes as you struggle against his grip on your wrists. "Do it baby, cum for me..." He hums, giving your ass a loving squeeze.
You dig your nails into the sheets when you finally feel that knot in your stomach unravel, you feel tingly all over as you cum on Simon's cock with a loud moan of his name. It makes you whine when he doesn't stop, chasing his orgasm now when he feels your pussy tighten around him so good.
"Fuck baby... That's it, that's it..." His groan turns into a drawn out moan as he throws his head back. With the way you were clenching down on him, it made him sloppy.
Simon was sounding whiny now while he chased his high. His hands were squeezing your hips as he held you down and fucked you harder into the bed. He was babbling now, about how good you felt and how you were such a good girl. All for him.
"Feel's so good, lovie... Let me cum inside, please?" He whined through gritted teeth, leaning down to kiss your shoulder. "Please let me cum inside? Please, baby... Please..." He moans into your skin desperately, leaving wet open-mouthed kisses on your shoulder.
"Yes... Yes, inside..." You nod desperately, feeling overstimulated after just coming down from your high and now being used by Simon to chase his own climax.
"Oh fuck..." His voice shakes as he cums inside you, painting your walls white with his cum as he gives you a few more hard thrusts to make sure you take all of it.
"Thank you, love... Thank you" he whispers after some time had passed, giving your hips an appreciative squeeze as he slowly pulled out of you. You whined when he finally pulled out, leaving you breathless as you felt his hot cum drip from your pussy to your clit.
"So beautiful..." Simon whispers as he lays beside you, pulling you close to him in a warm hug with your back against his chest. He wraps his arms around his waist and means his head down on your shoulder to give you gentle kisses.
"I love you..." He whispered close to your ear as his hands caressed your body soothingly. You hummed in content as you relaxed in his arms and allowed yourself to move a bit closer.
"I love you too..." You say quietly, rubbing his arms which were wrapped around you. Simon hums and kisses your hair, lingering there to take in your scent. "I won't leave again... I promise" he mumbles against your hair, his arms tightening around you ever so slightly.
You nod, looking over your shoulder to give him a warm smile, you were too tired and spent to talk but you knew Simon would be able to know what you were thinking just by looking into your eyes.
He chuckles and presses a soft kiss to your lips briefly. "And you know what's funny?" He laughed softly, raising a hand to caress your cheek, "It's Valentine's day" he looked over to the window and you followed his eyes.
The sun was starting to rise and it made you scoff that Simon really came back to you at the perfect timing.
"We're staying in, that's for sure" you laughed quietly, feeling your eyelids grow heavy as sleep slowly overtook you, but you didn't feel lonely anymore. Simon was back, and he knew he would never leave again.
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THE GREEN IN YOUR EYES MAKES ME FEEL WARM INSIDE ; MEGUMI FUSHIGURO
synopsis; in the comfort of a familiar bookstore, you find a boy. a pretty boy, who’s always reading, who doesn’t speak unless he has to. you’d like to get to know him — and maybe you will.
word count; 4.6k
contents; megumi fushiguro/reader, gn!reader, fluffy!!, lots of pining from afar, bookstore au, no curses au, reader is an overworked student bc uni is beating my ass, gumi is kind of awkward but hes cute <3, gojo mentioned twice (stay safe), can u tell im excited for christmas … :'3
a/n; bookstore employee gumi who hates every single customer except for you is so real to me
(@riaki its here …🙇‍♂️)
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he’s there again. 
with a decisive step forward, you drag the door open, and the flutter of a bell resounds throughout the bookstore. a precious little jingle, alerting him of your presence. 
the boy at the counter gives you a glance. his navy eyes settle on your bundled up figure, and a flicker of familiarity blooms in the scope of his iris, a kind of recognition. something that makes your heart feel like a clumped up little ball of snow. 
(oh. it’s you.
you can almost hear the silent words fall past his lips.)
it only lasts for a second, barely even that, your gazes overlapping — then he’s back to reading. 
today, you recognize the book in his hands. the hardcover looks just a tiny bit worn, but still well taken care of. well-loved. and it’s a pretty rendition; a butterfly just above the title, snakes crawling on either side, vines stretching out across the scope of the image. there’s a kind of mystique to it. pretty.
wuthering heights, you read off the cover.
a little odd, in hindsight. you’ve only ever seen him read nonfiction. maybe he decided to broaden his horizons?
after a brief moment’s contemplation, your feet begin to move. taking another small step forward, inching closer, while the door falls shut behind you. blocking out the snowfall and colourful lights illuminating the street. 
mitten-clad hands go to brush stray snowflakes off your shoulders, as you shift from foot to foot, halfheartedly attempting to warm up your numbed toes. wallowing in the atmosphere of the cozy little bookstore; breathing in the smell of peppermint, the hint of freshly brewed coffee. from the boy, you assume — he’s got his usual mug on standby, a cute little black dog etched into the ceramic. steam rises from it, floating up into the air, and a fragrance of espresso wafts throughout the store.
low christmas music plays from the speakers, barely audible. pleasing to your sensitive ears and tired mind. it’s the usual mix of well-loved songs, for the most part, but then some you haven’t heard before. you can only assume he picked them out himself; pretty instrumentals, or low, gravelly voices, adding to that particular atmosphere simmering around you. nostalgic, a little melancholic.
the boy behind the counter looks angelic. 
he always does, when he’s reading — and he usually is. gentle, in the way he turns the pages, awfully delicate, keeping them still between his thumb and forefinger. lips pursed, brows just a tiny bit furrowed. concentrated, immersed. dark eyes trailing over the tiny letters, scanning the ink of the paper, twisting the syllables inside his mind. almost tasting them on his tongue, with the way he wets his lips. they look a little chapped.
for some reason, the sight seems to render you sort of speechless. frozen. like he’s a pretty bluebird seated on your windowsill, chirping softly in the wake of morning, and you’re afraid of scaring him away.
— his eyes meet yours, and you visibly stiffen.
it’s smooth, the motion of his hands. how swiftly he flicks the book shut, placing it face down on the counter with a twitch of his lithe fingers. not before slipping a pretty bookmark in between the pages, lilac-coloured, with flowers embroidered into the silky texture. you wonder if he made it himself. 
his voice spills out into the air, a little raspy. deep, but velvety, sending shivers down your spine. he clears his throat, and you watch his adam’s apple bob. ”do you need anything?”
a second passes. 
it catches you off guard, the mellow sound of his voice. when you’re so unaccustomed to hearing it. excluding the brief words you’ve exchanged paying for your novels, you’ve only heard it a select few times — mostly from afar, not-so-sneakily listening in on his conversations with the pink haired boy and pretty girl who sometimes come in and never look at any of the books. 
(there’s the tall guy with the not-so-seasonal sunglasses, too. but when he enters the store, all you pick up on are usually grumbles and threatening hand gestures.)
but now, that low, low voice is directed at you. 
it can’t be good for your physical health. or mental, for that matter. you’re not sure you remember to properly breathe, and you’re almost certain hearts aren’t supposed to flail the way yours is right now. 
when the boy behind the counter tilts his head, just by a hair, you’re finally snapped out of your little trance. stumbling for something to say, stuttering out a response, your hands grip at the insides of your pockets.
”well, um — i’m looking for a book.”
a moment passes. the song coming from the speakers changes into an instrumental, kind of jazzy. it’s nice.
”… a specific book,” you elaborate, under your breath. gnawing at your bottom lip, feeling a bit of heat on your ears. clearing your throat, as you step forward, tearing your mittens off with your teeth.
searching for a certain image, your numbed fingertips begin to tap at the cold screen of your phone. the warm air of the bookstore envelops your chilled knuckles, and a shiver runs through them.
the boy watches, silently, as you get closer. 
you don’t notice him glancing at your reddened hands, and when you look up to see a glimmer of something displeased in his eyes, you only assume it’s because you’re taking too long. speeding up slightly, you hear a low click of his tongue. his back straightens.
when he gets up from his chair, you notice that he's tall. you don’t think you’ve ever seen him do anything but sit behind the counter with a book in hand, either reading his own or scanning a customer’s. 
and, upon closer inspection — he’s maybe just a little bit too pretty for words. smooth, pale skin, a sharp jaw and defined cheekbones, dark eyes that hide a subtle kind of softness. pierced ears, a glimmer of silver on his earlobes, same as the rings on his bony fingers. his nails are painted black, a little chipped. and he’s wearing a big, bright green christmas sweater; one you really can’t imagine him picking out on his own, if his previous all-black turtlenecks and gray sweaters are anything to go by. 
while you fumble with the phone in your grasp, the pads of his fingers go to silently tap at the edge of the counter. a rhythmic motion; forefinger, middle finger, ring finger, over and over again.
it’s a little bit distracting. when he moves his hand a certain way, his big sweater sleeve rides up just a tiny bit, showing off the blue veins of his inner wrist. you think you catch a glimpse of a mole or two on his pale skin, and you swallow down a gulp, feeling a little like a victorian man seeing a girl’s ankle.
and then finally, you locate the image in question. swiftly showing him the cover of the book you were assigned to read. he squints a little, blinking drowsily, a flutter of his pretty eyelashes that has your heart skipping a beat. 
you clear your throat.
”i’m supposed to read it before christmas break, but i couldn’t find it at our library…” you tilt your head, a little sheepish. ”do you have it here?”
he stares at the screen for just a second more. then he’s angling his head to the left, finger pointing towards a corner of the store. ”it should be over there,” he hums. monotone.
a tentative smile forms on your lips. you thank him, and his eyes find yours.
all he does is shake his head, softly, brushing you off — a silent don’t worry about it. maybe a tad gruff, but you sense an acute gentleness to it. something tender, kind of. or maybe you’d just like to believe the kindness you sense in his eyes is real, more than just a delusion. 
but you don’t have time to dwell on it. the boy behind the counter goes back to reading, cradling the spine with his pretty hands. when he tries to grab the handle of his mug, one of the rings on his fingers knock against the ceramic, and he clicks his tongue in annoyance. 
you go to hunt down your own book, still thinking about his voice, how it trickled like honey from out his lips. 
the bookstore is entirely empty, tonight. no loud noises drilling into your groggy brain, no people to chatter amongst themselves and disrupt the illusion of peace you gain when you spend time here. a tiny respite, from your studies, from the stress and fatigue that you’ve come to associate with winter. hunting for christmas gifts, finishing late assignments, trudging through the snow. pretending that you have it all together.
but here, none of that matters. 
a sense of calm washes over you, as your eyes trail over the books by the science fiction section, and a soft sigh tumbles from your throat. gradually, your hands begin to warm up, and you look out the window.
outside, the world is blanketed by a veil of snow and frost, pure whites and murky grays as far as the eye can see. falling down to earth, smothering everything in a bitter chill. a cold, cold embrace. but when looking at it like this, from inside a cozy bookstore, with a pretty boy by the counter…
it's a breathtaking sight. 
little snowflakes descending, dancing in the wind. desaturating your world. if you close your eyes and focus, you think you can almost feel the wind nip at your fingertips, almost taste the fragrance of dried tea leaves and caramel fudge from the tiny shop across the street. almost bask in the green and red of the decorative lights in the skeletal trees, illuminating the city, buzzing with artificial warmth.
(your heart feels light.)
it doesn’t take long for you to find the book you need. keeping it safe and warm between your arm and torso, you walk back to the counter, gaze still lingering on the windowpane. the little snowflakes fluttering about, the glimpses you catch of passerby and their knit scarves in the darkness of the winter evening.
the boy behind the counter is as efficient as ever. he takes the book, fingertips resting exactly where yours just were, and scans it in a matter of seconds. you pay, and he puts it in a plastic bag, handing it to you — all while his copy of wuthering heights sits on the counter, pointedly, as if beckoning you to mention it.
before you can think to stop yourself, you’ve parted your lips. 
”is it good?” you ask. finger pointing at his book.
the boy blinks. eyelashes fluttering. once, then twice. he seems a little caught off guard, but still speaks within a split second. almost like he doesn’t even think about the answer. ”yeah.”
a hum buzzes in your throat. you shift a little, from foot to foot, plastic bag in hand. ”i’ve been meaning to read it,” you say, desperate to prolong the conversation, ”but i haven't had much time lately.”
a chuckle slips from your lips. it comes out sounding just a little exhausted. 
(he glances at the dark bags beneath your eyes, but you don’t notice.)
”i think i might buy it in time for christmas break, though…” you lift your gaze to meet his own. showing the briefest glimpse of a smile, polite. 
he doesn’t return it. lips pursed, silent, gazing at you with slightly lidded eyes. a navy blue, little splotches of a murky green blooming in the corners of his iris. they only appear when you’re this close. soothing, somehow. they’re pretty.
he isn’t saying anything, not a single word, and some part of your heart clogs up like a clump of wet snow. subconsciously, you trap your bottom lip between your teeth, digging into the soft flesh before letting go. cowering a little under his intense gaze.
did you annoy him? 
(he probably doesn’t want to talk to you. maybe he thinks you’re hitting on him, or something. are you hitting on him? that doesn’t matter. he must be stressed — it’s holiday season, after all. the last thing he needs is some annoying customer taking up his precious reading time. 
gosh, what were you even thinking?)
you’re just about to excuse yourself, mentally berating yourself for forcibly striking up a conversation with an obvious introvert — 
when the sound of something sliding against wooden material catches your attention.
you blink.
the boy behind the counter does a little cough. under his breath, clearing his throat. he wets his lips, in what you immediately recognize as nervosity — absentmindedly fidgeting with the rings on his fingers. 
”here.”
when you look down, a certain book is placed on the edge of the counter, right in front of you. wuthering heights.
another blink. you look down at the hardcover, and then back up at him, but he’s not meeting your gaze. if you look closely, you think you see a slight flush to his neck, red like a candy cane. 
”you can borrow it,” he says. a pause. then he continues, clearing his throat again, a hint of hesitance in his raspy voice. ”… if you want to, i mean.”
”… ah.” is all you can answer. barely a word, more of a weak little hum. an absent tremble of your voice.
outside the comfort and warmth of the bookstore, the wind whistles, digging its claws into the city. tiny whirlwinds of snowflakes dance from street to street, fluttering about joyously. you vaguely pick up on the song from the speakers changing, into a poppy christmas-themed kpop song.
a moment passes.
your muddled mind finally reacts. on instinct, sending little instructions to your frozen limbs. to your heart, face down on the floor, completely useless.
”oh — no, there’s no need!” you blurt out, putting your hands up hastily. waving him off. ”it’s fine, i can just buy my own copy!” 
but the boy only clicks his tongue, with that signature furrow of his brows. ”you’re a student,” he states, just a little gruff. but then there’s that kindness. ”you shouldn’t waste your money.”
you’re just about to protest, when he continues. ”besides,” he sighs. ”i’ve already read it. you can just bring it back whenever you’re done.”
and again, your instinctual desire is to protest. unsure of what to say, somehow exasperated by his trust. that’s what it is, isn’t it? trust. trusting a stranger, a customer he’s barely even spoken to, not to just take his book and then never return. trusting you to be a decent person. a good person.
isn’t that naive?
something sprouts like a snowdrop in a ridge between your ribs, though, and you know that it’s happiness of some kind. you’re glad, that he has something even vaguely similar to trust in you. 
glad that he’s acknowledging you, in a way. your presence, the sneaky glances shared between you. the comfortable feeling that sleeps inside your veins when it's just you and him, silently passing each other by, in a quiet bookstore that feels a little like heaven on earth. a safe haven, of sorts, with no incompetent professors, tight deadlines or numb fingers.
it’s just him, and cozy christmas music, and a pitter patter rhythm of your heartbeat that sounds a little like jingle bells to your muddled mind.
a lump forms in the back of your throat. you gulp it back down, and part your lips. an unsure question spills into the open air. 
”are… you really sure?”
”yeah.” he doesn’t even skip a beat. fingers tapping at the edge of the counter, over and over again. another slow moment passes. ”we can… talk. about it.” he coughs into his closed fist. ”once you've read it.” 
with a soft furrow of his brows, he averts his gaze. his voice comes out sounding soft, albeit a little rough around the edges. ”if you want,” he adds.
you’re so distracted by the flutter of his long eyelashes that you barely even feel your lips stretch into a smile. your hearts skips around happily within the confines of your ribcage, and you’re worried that you might look a little too excited — but how could you ever hide your joy, when he’s acting so dangerously, uncharacteristically cute?
”yeah!” you blurt, teeth peeking out when you flash him a bright smile. and finally, he meets your gaze. pretty eyes fixed entirely on you.
at your evident enthusiasm, his shoulders seem to relax. the rapid tapping of his fingers ceases, and he opts to simply bite down on his lip — attempting to obscure his own smile. but you see it, anyway; a tiny, tiny smile. the softest little curl of his lips. you’re entirely mesmerized, all the same. 
a hand goes to rub at the back of his neck, and he does that cute little cough again, and you wonder if the warmth sprouting in your chest will be enough to protect you from the snowfall on your way back home.
angelic; that’s the impression he always seems to leave you with. you wonder if he has any idea just how pretty he is. if he has the slightest clue. you wonder if you’ll ever be able to tell him, yourself.
you wonder if you’ll get to know him, someday. if you’ll ever get to know the pretty, quiet boy behind the counter of your go-to bookstore, who radiates a softness so palpable you wish you could stay there until spring blooms beyond the windows and melts the frosted glass. 
with tentative hands, a little shaky — not from the cold, but the anxious and excited tingle of your bloodstream — you reach for the book on the counter. taking it into your arms, cradling it gently, like it’s so fragile the pages could scatter away if you aren’t careful. with a steady hand on its spine, you begin to flip through the pages, until three little words on the first blank page catch your attention. 
without thinking, you repeat the little scribbled down sentence under your breath. hoping for something. more lulls of his voice, maybe, mumbling to yourself but hoping he’ll hear.
”happy birthday, tsumiki…”
the boy stiffens. 
a silent beat. then he clears his throat. ”my sister,” he explains, and you hum.
so he has a sister. a tiny fragment of his existence, now known to you, a little piece of trivia. you want to collect them, want to put them all in your pockets and carry them around, like little precious bells. 
”megumi,” he blurts out, sudden, and you look up from the book to meet his gaze. ”my name,” he elaborates. and then a pause. ”i work here.”
in a matter of seconds, his face reddens. ears and neck slathered over with that sweet cherry hue, blooming across his pale skin. a soft giggle slips from your lips, before you can think to bite it back, and that red hue exacerbates. 
”mm,” you hum, an amused smile on your face. eyes crinkling as you look at him, book safe and secure in your arms. ”i've seen you.”
megumi looks a bit like he wants the ground to swallow him whole. squirming slightly, shifting from foot to foot, tugging a little at the sleeve of his sweater. looking into your eyes, and then back at the counter.
it’s sweet. it makes you feel closer to him, somehow. like you aren’t the only nervous one here. like you aren’t the only person in this city who’s a little bit of a mess. 
(it makes the sludge piling up inside your brain feel just a little more bearable.)
”… thank you.” you smile. ”i’ll take good care of it. and i’ll bring it right back when i finish it.”
a low hum. megumi brings a hand up to fix his bangs, nimble fingers running through dark locks. absentminded — a nervous habit, maybe? ”don’t worry about it,” is all he says. 
again, that sweet dichotomy; a hint of something gruff, hiding an unmistakable softness. a little like snow. cold to the touch, enough to make you want to stay away, but then it melts on the skin of your palm. turns soft and warm beneath your touch.
unable to fully hide the smile still lingering on your lips, you allow yourself one final inhale — letting that scent of peppermint and espresso invade your mind, soothing every frazzled nerve inside your brain. then you put wuthering heights in your bag, protected and snug, and get ready to leave. 
it’s still snowing. if anything, it seems to have gotten worse, enough that all you see when you glance towards the frosted windows are little clumps of snowflakes. obscuring everything else.
just when you’re about to speak, say a little goodbye, a voice spills out into the air.
”… the snow’s supposed to get worse. apparently.”
his navy eyes carry a gentle hue, as they look into yours. maybe a little worried, like a protective mother wolf towards her cub. you blink, and megumi sees it as his cue to continue.
”you can stay until it gets better.” 
a brief pause. his signature cough reaches your ears, and it’s enough to have you smiling, even before he adds a tiny if you feel like it. nonchalant, or at least you think that’s what he’s going for. he mostly just sounds like an awfully caring person trying awfully hard to appear uncaring.
and again, a little smile slips itself into the curl of your lips. all giddy and nervous, a little flustered. but happy. now you won’t have to walk through the relentless snowfall outside, feel the wind chew at your reddened cheekbones. now you can spend just a bit more time with him, bask in those quiet, drawn out moments of pure peace, browsing through books while he sits and reads behind the counter.
”thanks,” you breathe. adjusting your knitted scarf. ”i think i'll look at the books a little more, then.”
megumi’s eyes soften. relieved, you think. hope. it’s a subtle shift, but still enough to notice, enough to see. little splotches of a mossy green sinking into that sea of ink blue.
you think he must feel a little embarrassed, though. like he’s gotten too close to broaching the line he’s set up between the two of you. because he quickly fixes his gaze entirely on a book in his hands, a new one — was it just waiting beneath the counter? 
you don't think much of it, but you note that he's back to his usual nonfiction. something on astronomy, you think.
and with one final glance at his tousled hair, you begin to stroll through the store. languidly, walking to whatever spine captures your attention. savouring the tiny words on the back of the books, wallowing in the peppermint and espresso that wafts through the air, only growing heavier while you’re busy admiring the white opaque frosting of the windows’ glass. 
at some point, the low whirring of a coffee machine buzzes from afar, and when you turn to the counter megumi isn’t there. 
a little later, when he comes back, he’ll be carrying two mugs — matching dogs etched into the ceramic, one black and one white. he’ll put one of them on the edge of the counter, closest to you, and then meet your eyes. give a vague nod towards it, but nothing else. you’ll notice the red tint to his ears, though.
and when you do, a warmth will blossom in your chest, enough to chase away the phantom ache of the winter chill soon to envelop you.
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when the little bell of the bookstore jingles its jolly tune, and the door shuts itself as you cross the threshold to leave, megumi lets out a barely audible sigh.
he thinks his heart may be beating just a smidge faster than usual, a little out of rhythm. palms against the counter, he allows his eyes to flutter shut — trying not to acknowledge the heat he feels on his face when he finally begins to process your interaction. 
he smooths a hand over his face, skin just a little sweaty. chewing at his bottom lip with two sharp teeth.
god.
really, it was no more than a stupid twist of luck. that you happened to come in just when he started reading it, that you noticed and didn’t question him on any of the contents. that you believed him when he said he’d already finished it.
and, sure, maybe he was secretly really hoping you’d come in. really hoping you’d notice it, that it’d be enough to make you strike up a conversation with him, something, anything. 
he happened to see you eyeing it once, that’s all. twice, and then thrice, each on different occasions. tsumiki’s old collection came in handy, rotting on the dusty shelves of her room — although he has no memory of her ever reading it.
(he remembers some, though. remembers her reading a few of them to him, on nights he couldn’t sleep. remembers the soft lull of her voice, how the whole world seemed blanketed by a wool of safety.
he wonders if he’ll ever get to hear it again.)
megumi’s heart feels warm. despite everything. 
even though he didn’t even get past the first half of wuthering heights, and has no idea what the hell he’s going to be able to talk to you about. even though he thinks heathcliff is a dick and catherine is a brat, and wishes they could save everyone else the trouble and just talk to a psychiatrist.
even with the cold baring its fangs outside, and the cup of espresso sitting right in front of him, still untouched, made with the store’s shitty coffee machine. even in the ugly sweater gojo forced him into. even though he doesn’t even really know you, not even at all, and still somehow feels certain that you’ll come back with tsumiki’s book in tow.
trust. 
megumi thinks it’s a little weird, how just that single overlapping of your gazes when you first stepped in seemed to solidify such an abstract notion. he’s always had a sense of it, though — a sense of goodness. an ability to seek them out, those good people, bubbly and cheerful and so tragically hard not to love. 
no matter where he goes, he ends up finding them. like tiny sunflower seeds persisting beneath the winter snow. blooming when spring comes around, in a burst of golden vermillion.
resting his jaw on the heel of his palm, megumi allows himself to wallow in the solitude of the bookstore. tired eyes soaking up the words on the pages he flips through, slowly, utterly at ease. drinking his shitty coffee, trying to ignore the itchy feeling of the sweater on his skin, unable to forget the memory of your stupidly pretty smile. 
so pretty he thinks it might just keep him warm, all throughout winter, until you return once more. bringing with you the glimmer of snowflakes on soft skin, and a pleasant fragrance of tea leaves from the cozy shop across the street.
a single sunflower, persisting even through the cold. 
megumi smiles. a tiny curl of his chapped lips, while he flips the pages of his book. content in the knowledge that this won’t be the last time he speaks to you.
(now he just needs to read up on some good papers on wuthering heights.)
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mins-fins · 3 months ago
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heart attack
&&. there's something hilarious about the beautiful doctor there to help with your terrible habits.
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pairing: qian kun x gn!reader
genre: fluff
warnings: mentions of overworking, mentions of passing out & hospitalization
word count: 0.9k
notes: this….. THISSS💔💔💔 this drabble was very inspired by the thai movie heart attack (a movie that has no right being as cute as it is) kun fits the part so well because first.. doctor kun, and second.. kun is so amazing, i love kun, we all fucking love kun 😿 this is a early bday gift for user junjiie bc we all know he loves kun (happy early bday pookie ily) this is insanely self indulgent because i have slept less than three hours in these past five days and have been working myself to shit because.. med school!! yayyyyyyy!! im so excited!! (is not excited)
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"so what's the matter with you?"
the usual roughness that would lace the voice of a medical professional is replaced by the softness you would feel of pillows, you glance up, meeting the eyes of the beautiful man before you. you stare, forgetting where you are for a moment, the exhaustion rendering you speechless.
but it's a whisper in your head that reminds you of where you are, and you flinch. "oh— i um.. there's these rashes appearing on my body".
"okay" he mutters, clicking his tongue and pen in unison. "and where exactly?"
"my arms, my neck.." he hums, pulling up your sleeve to check out what you told him. "also there are some on my fingers".
he bites into his inner cheek, much too close for the sake of your heart. he then glances up, examining your face through his glasses. "you haven't been getting any sleep" he snaps his fingers in your direction, letting go of you and turning back to his computer.
you respond with a dry chuckle, too tired to even try to add emotion. "and you know that how?"
"i can see it in your eyes, those dark circles aren't doing you justice" he sucks his teeth as he types out something. "what's your occupation?"
it isn't strange that he's curious, just answer the question.
you shake your head, mind all over the place. "i work in graphic design".
"ohhh" he doesn't exactly seem surprised. "freelance?"
you nod.
his eyebrows join together. "how does an editing job have you so tired?"
you let out a breath, too exhausted to allow a laugh. "it's a twenty four hour thing, if i'm awake at all times i function better".
"you're barely functioning now".
"well you're a doctor, you always tell people the obvious" you sigh, closing your eyes to try and recollect the many hours of sleep you lost. "i'm sure you aren't any better than me.."
"i'd be inclined to disagree".
you open one eye, staring at the pretty doctor who types away on his computer, catching you in his peripheral vision. (eyes you don't notice due to your lethargy making you less disposed to).
"when was the last time you slept?"
your throat goes dry, your senses reduced to the clear fatigue. you could simply lie, how would he even know? there's no way dr. qian is a psychic, that would be freaky, you're sure it would be nightmarish if that were the case.
there's an indecipherable glimmer in his eye, one that would scare you in regular circumstances where you were fully awake. it's as if he knows you're going to lie, your attempt at fib crawls down your throat before it can even escape your lips. "five days ago".
his reaction is serene, much too calm for your situation. "five days ago.. and how many hours did you sleep?"
your brain is foggy, you almost blurt the number 'six', but that's simply your default response when people ask. why would you ever lie to a doctor?..and the cute doctor especially?
you pause at the wave of your thoughts. what do you mean he's cute?
it's simply common sense, y/n. don't you like smart guys?
you would probably attribute it to your terrible sleep deprivation if it weren't true. you can't deny that the man before you is simply so attractive it should be illegal, he's absolutely gorgeous, how can a regular doctor be so beautiful? you might fall over, not from your lack of sleep, but from the eyes of the man who stares with such care.
"like.. three?"
your voice scratches as you recall the last time you 'slept', he hums, clicking his pen as he notes the information down. he turns in his rolling chair, scooting closer to you. "you mind if i see your hands?"
you can't even put up a fight, you're just about to give into your own exhaustion. you put your hands out for him, and dr. qian takes your hands in his own, examining the rashes which litter your fingers. he's close, so close, you can admire each of his facial features with amazing certainty. everything about him is beautiful, his cheeks, his eyes, the curves of his lips, it's all beautiful, it should be a crime for such a man to exist.
"that's an issue.. have you taken medication for sleep before?" you shake your head, and his fingers slip from yours.
"alright.. i'm going to put you on doxylamine" he mumbles, getting back to noting down your state. you begin scratching at the rashes on your fingers, and he snaps: "don't scratch it".
you move your hands apart rather quickly, his tone of voice intimidating you enough that you pause. he's much too convincing.
he points at you. "tonight, and this next month onward, you sleep before nine o'clock every single day".
you uncharacteristically snicker. "do you sleep before nine o'clock every single day?"
he raises an eyebrow, amused by the question. "i'm the doctor, i know best".
"of course".
"you'll end up dead if you keep going at this rate, take your medication, sleep before nine every day, then check back in with me next month".
"if i'm not available, can i reschedule?"
the question is simply meant to be comedic, you're just about to pass out, trying to sneak in a last minute joke before having to leave the office of the cute doctor. he leans his arm against the desk, smiling at you. "don't reschedule, i want to see you".
and you clearly weren't expecting those words, because your cheeks flare up.
see y/n? you do like smart guys.
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kingprinceleo · 6 months ago
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Literally everything about Vampire Au since i irreversibly fucked everything up and im just so damn tired:
Early timeline stuff (google docs link)
everything else not on the doc-
eggman is around 100 years old and has been butting heads with gun for control of angel island the entire time
angel island is 1 main island (master emerald) and 7 smaller islands (1 chaos emerald each), GUN hid a chaos emerald on each island to keep them from being easily discoverable and to use their power to maintain the barrier, originally built by gerald as a safety feature
GUN has total control of 3 of the islands, they are more cyberpunk in terms of infrastructure, the further islands are called The Wilds, where mobians inhabit the old buildings from the flood. sonic fights to keep gun from expanding their reach further
Ghost, the head of gun, is an ancient vampire and one of the first Mobian vampires. scourned by what the mutations did to them, they want to kill the vampires of angel island to have their own peaceful domain far away from the surface world
shadow behaves differently depending on how close he is to GUN territory, before Ghost had lost shadow, his mind was altered to better fit Ghosts mission. he was meant to be used as a weapon to hunt and kill vampires, the closer he is to the city, the stronger Ghosts mind control over him is. though ghost isnt aware shadow is awake and running around yet, the mind control is a passive state shadow is in and doesnt realize. he only has a stronger drive to kill near the city.
first arc was meant to just be generally kinda silly, it wasnt meant to be super serious- hoax and shadow make their blood deal in order to get hoax to stop stealing shadows blood bags knukcles, defensive on shadows behalf, clocks hoax so hard he turns back into sonic, thus being the first person to learn about hoax being sonic (outside of amy and tails, who helped come up with hoax)
knuckles learns about the master emerald buried under his fucking pizza store. what the hell. and starts learning about his past as the last echidna from tikal, whos been haunting the pizza place until she was able to get knuckles attention
amy really wants to prove her devotion to sonic by making him a Light ring, a ring with magic infused strong enough to fully protect him from the sun. she is not a powerful enough witch to do it so she starts researching
tails is a shithead and cosmo tries to teach him about friendship
sonic starts learning about chaos emeralds while dealing with eggman etc etc
one of eggmans plots was to mess with the moon pull during a blood moon, driving up bloodlust in vampires and starting chaos
tails vampire reveal
rouge discovers sol and introduces mephiles and silver etc
eggman has a blood mining operation in sol (bc the planet is a living creature)
-arc 2 , generally
the chaotix send tails to gay baby jail , gets broken out by silver mephiles
amy starts getting real desperate bc she keep failing to make the ring, she starts checking out dark magic due to her own shortcomings, being suggested by eggman who is interested in the ring himself. she finds sol alongside sonic and starts researching more magic with blaze and other castle scholars. an attempt at dark magic goes wrong with blaze, the queen of sol. amy is exiled and back to square one, now even more desperate, she keeps trying with dark magic. unknowingly, poisoning her own magic and corrupting the gemstone embedded in sonics staff
shadow starts getting a teeny tiny bit comfortable with hoax, and also is informed about the master emerald by knuckles. tikal remembers him and he starts to realize something isnt quite right in his memories. time for a series of unfortunate events
he delivers pizza to the eggman himself, who talks remorse about what he put shadow through, but angles it in a way to spark further hatred for sonic in shadow, stating sonic influence is what made him have regrets
amys dark magic usage starts corrupting hoax himself, because he is a product of amys magic. the darkness slowly chews away at his mind, and if they dont fix him, sonic will become a mindless servant of dark gaia forever. this is the shadow hoax reveal. It takes all of the friends & shadow to be able to fight and wrangle hoax, once the gemstone is smashed, shadow gets to see hoaxs true form, sonic. shadow tries to KILL HIS ASS
mephiles, the shape shifter, has taken interest in shadow and his determined to make his life more miserable by shifting into rouge and biting him, exposing to shadow rouge has been hiding being a vampire from him the entire time theyve known each other shadow fucking snaps and fucks off to go work for GUN, all vampires are the same lying conniving bastards, and he wants to kill them very dead
shadow captures sonic and he gets held in the central GUN base. sonic finds out Ghost has been not only killing vampires, but draining their lifeforce to keep themselves alive bc theyre old as shit. rouge is also exposed as a vampire (the chaotix supervisor) and gets held in a cell as well. the chaotix think this whole thing is fucked up actually and bust their queen outta there. knuckles and Co come to save sonic, shadow and knuckles have a stand off about both being the protectors of the island and how their friendship has gone out the window if knuckles chooses sonic. Knuckles escapes with sonic
The realizations DO NOT STOP COMING. BOOM. GUN DOCUMENTS. maria was a vampire womp womp. gun killed her for it. Shadow is horrified and the memories start flooding back. Ghost doesnt like this. Get in the Suit Boy. we are gonna kill these heathens <3 ! mephiles takes control of shadows body but no one is aware bc hes inside the fnaf suit. terrible day for him mephiles is gonna use the eclispe canon to drill to the earths core and reunite with iblis ! the only reason he was in sol in the first place was bc he thought blaze was the iblis trigger
everyone is OBVIOUSLY trying to stop this including eggman what the hell shadow this isnt worth it what the fuck
mephiles casually tosses shadows body into the core of the earth once hes done with him and woah. silver and sonic solaris fight woahhhhh vine boom vine boom
arc 3 !
no more angel island barrier, sonic has left to pursue eggman on the surface since hes up to no good, leaving the protection of angel island to knuckles. amy has also left for the surface to spend time on her own and try to learn magic for herself
shadow , barely alive, is fighting his way tooth and nail from the core of the earth.
a year of time passes and during that year- sonic gets up to little adventures, shadow learns to live life on the surface knowing all of the truths about himself now. they both realize they kinda had a crush on the other guy.... damn thats unfortunate.
Ghost no longer has the chaos emeralds but has Created the phantom ruby as a replacement, and has raised infinite from the dead to be its bearer. they create a fake Sh4dow. infinite gets to live out his tormenting shadows life fanfic for fucking killing him !! smh . infinte also uses Sh4dow to infiltrate Sol, Ghost has just discovered the pocket dimension on Their island and wants it gone. This is Shadows sol apartment btw. the fake bought it and he just. took it.
things are gradually getting worse on angel island and both sonic and shadow return. shadow is informed of the fake and teams up with rouge and knuckles to get rid of it flower ball happens around here, Sh4dow trying to fuck up sol somehow and shadow has to stop him. amongus time sonics been flirting with the wrong guy for a while. :{ embarrassing.
something something this leads to infinite and Ghost fight and they both die whatever who cares
so thats what ive been doing for like 2 years !! i . really fucking hate it tbh. all of this work feels so wasted and i feel so stupid. sorry for wasting your time for so long
i like the characters and i like what they have going on but like man,,,, all of the surrounding context just feels so miserably hopeless, it was all for nothing and i just. i want to sleep forever
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fivestar-outlaw · 1 year ago
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New Horizons (Park Seonghwa) (Epilogue)
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Epilogue
Pairing: Park Seonghwa x Fem!Reader
Words: 7.0k+
Warning(s): Mentions of reader being anxious/having anxiety, some swears, drinking, i think thats it.
SMUT (18+) WARNINGS: Multiple orgasms, oral (F receiving)/ face sitting, slight cockwarming, birthcontrol used, No condom use, PiV penetration, cowgirl yeehaw
A/N: Fucking- Finally finished the epilog. Grad school is slowly but surely killing me rn. I only had time to write this during the undergrad class im taking for credits iubgouoren. I hope yall enjoy.
Reader is implied to be living in the US bc uh TIMEZONES ARE FUCKY and i didnt realize how reliant i was on mine (PST) when looking up KST
English dialogue is italicized, Korean dialogue is not
Summary: Attempting an all-nighter while playing Animal Crossing alongside your bias, you didn't expect your turnip prices to be such a high amount... nor did you expect Park Seonghwa to actually accept your offer to sell his turnips on your island.
Series Masterlist | Navigation
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You sat at your desk, phone set up for a video call with Seonghwa. You felt nervous. Tomorrow is your graduation, where you'll finally be done with this aspect of your life and will be moving onto the next step. Despite the distance, you and Seonghwa were as close as ever. You both missed each other dearly but talked as frequently as possible. 
You were a little sad that he and the rest of Ateez couldn't make it to your graduation, but you understood why. You didn't have much hope when you told Hongjoong the date and he told you he'd ask if they could. You tried to tell him not to ask since you knew they would be busy with an upcoming comeback, but he insisted he'd try. He talked to you the next night saying they had a packed schedule for that week and couldn't. You figured as much but it still made you a little sad.
You hear the tone for the video call and you quickly answer it with a smile. You see Hwa sitting there, but not in his room. You couldn't quite figure out where he was. He seemed to be wearing a loose sweater and a pair of glasses frames.
"Hello, jagiya." Seonghwa smiled sweetly, he seemed tired.
"Hello, love." You respond. "How are you? You seem a little tired."
"The week has been busy."
"Aw, I'm sorry. Are you currently at a schedule?" You tilt your head. You see him look off to the side. You can see that he seems to be hiding something, but you figure it was because he couldn't talk about anything specific related to any of the filmed comeback videos.
"Yeah, we are staying at a hotel. We are going to start filming soon." He sighs. "It was a last minute decision since filming took longer than expected yesterday. I wish I could tell you everything that went wrong but I can't."
"I'm sure it'll go better today, love."
 "Thank you, jagiya. But enough about me, jagiya, how are you? Are you excited for tomorrow?"
"A mix of excited and nervous. Excited to have my degree... nervous for whatever comes next. Nervous about walking across that stage to get that empty diploma case and not having a solid next thing waiting for me." You press your lips together and glance over to your cap and gown hanging in your open closet. The whole ordeal almost seems daunting now. "I've applied for jobs in my field but I haven't heard anything back... I doubt any will get back to me when I am fresh out of university."
"I wish I was there with you, (Y/N)." He looked into the camera with a concerned expression. "You'll exceed at whatever you do. I know you will. You are smart and very determined."
"It's probably just all the nerves." You chuckle weakly.
"Just know myself and the others are cheering for you, even if we can't be there. Which, we are still sorry for by the way."
"Don't worry about it. I'll have my family film my walk across the stage and we will take lots of pictures to send to you all."
"We look forward to it." He smiles. You hear a door opening and what you believe to be Hongjoong's voice. You couldn't make out what he said but you saw Seonghwa nod before hearing the door close. "Sorry, (Y/N), I have to go. We need to get ready for filming today."
"Don't apologize, love. You got this. I'm sure you will do great." You smile and you can just tell some of the stress he was feeling dissipate. 
"I love you, jagiya." He says softly.
"I love you too." There is some hesitancy to hang up but you bit the bullet and pressed the little red button on the call. You sigh, but feel lighter. It was like talking to Hwa helped calm your worries.
---
You stood with your family for a moment before you needed to join the rest of the graduating students. You stood with them in your cap and gown and a nice outfit underneath. You couldn't help but wring your hands together. You weren't necessarily nervous, but you did feel a little anxious from the excitement now. You felt you childhood best friend place their hand on your shoulder and they give you a calm smile.
"It's going to be fine, (Y/N)." They gently squeezed your shoulder. "I doubt you'll trip, so don't worry."
"Well I wasn't worried about tripping until now." You groan. "I'm not nervous. I just... can't stay still."
"Oh (Y/N), it's okay to be nervous." Your mother coos, rubbing small circles into your upper back. "Just think about the surprise we have planned for you."
"Surprise?"
"Hun, you weren't suppose to mention that." Your father chuckles. 
"I thought I told you all I needed was just a nice dinner at my favorite restaurant." You say softly. "I hope you didn't spend too much-"
"Don't worry about it. We wanted to get you something for such a big day." Your father grinned. You were going to argue back but heard the call for graduating students to start getting in place for the ceremony.
"Make sure to film my walk please!" You said and they nodded. Your family and your best friend gives you one last hug before you go to where you were supposed to, while they went off to grab seats.
You take a deep breath as you find your spot in line with the rest of your majors getting the same degree level as you and your roommate, who also was graduating alongside you. You smiled at some of your classmates you were friendly with and chatted with them. You were given a slip of paper with your name on it by one of your professors and you were left to wait for the ceremony to start. 
You felt your phone buzz under your gown. You were glad you picked something to wear underneath with pockets. You manage to get your phone out and you smile. All of Ateez were wishing you well and saying their congrats. San even sent a selfie of them all together, which they said was taken after they finished filming. You were glad they messaged you and made sure to tell them to get some rest since it was around 6am for them.
The line you were in started moving so you quickly put your phone away and started walking with your line. You can hear lots of chatter from other graduating students and could hear the chatter from people in the stands. You and the others stood still until you heard one of the deans call you guys to enter. You hear the crowd cheer as the graduating class enters the area. You tried to pinpoint your family and your best friend but had no luck finding them in the sea of people. You take your seat and wait for the rest of the graduate students to also take their seats as the stereotypical graduation march song plays.
The song ended when everyone was finished sitting down. Next were speeches by the college president, a provosts, and a dean whom you never personally interacted with, and then two professors spoke; one is the chair of your major which made you smile. Next were student speeches, neither person you recognized.
You gulp, watching as the rows ahead of you go up one by one as they were instructed by a professor to do so. There was the constant noise of clapping with each name, followed by a few people loudly cheering for whoever just got called. You clapped along as well, watching each person receive their diploma case from the college president and walk to the side to get their picture taken professionally.
Next thing you knew the people in your row started to stand. You quickly got to your feet and follow along to the stage. You wait, taking small steps as person by person hands over their name slip and walk the stage. You were getting closer and closer to the speakers stand.
Then, it's your turn.
You made conscious steps to the speaker, not wanting to trip. You hand them your name card and wait as the person ahead finished crossing the stage. The speaker smiled and read your name into the microphone. You start walking across stage to the president as the crowd clapped.
You hear loud cheers coming from the stand on the other side of the stage, more than what you were expecting from the three people there seeing you graduate. You finally see your parents and your best friend up on their feet, your dad and friend shouting loudly. But in the row in front of them, you see eight figures also on their feet shouting as loud as they can. Immediately you can tell it is Ateez. Even with face masks, different hats, and inconspicuous clothes, you could tell they were your boys. Plus, you can easily tell Wooyoung and Mingi's voices as they were the loudest and most distinct.
A large smile broke out on your face as you kept your tears at bay. You walked the stage with your head held high. You shook hands with the college president and took hold of the diploma case. You walked to the end of the stage and carefully took the steps down. You got your picture taken and you started walking back to your seat.
You look up at the stand when you heard your name shouted repeatedly by Wooyoung, San, and Seonghwa. Each member of Ateez waved as you walked by and you made sure to wave back. You felt pure happiness in the moment.
---
When the ceremony ended and all the graduates exited the way they walked in, you immediately started making your way outside. Your parents texted saying they were waiting for you by the large oak tree. You weave your way through the sea of students and their families as fast as you could. You could see the top of the tree but you knew the trunk was still some distance away from where the ceremony was held. 
You finally breach the crowd and see your parents, your best friend, and Ateez, along with their manager. They spotted you and called your name. You immediately quickened your pace.
Wooyoung held out his arms for a hug but you passed him and immediately clung to Seonghwa. The tears you held back immediately fell as you hugged him.
"Y-You're here! I can't believe you're here! Hongjoong said you guys were busy. You said you-" You rapidly spoke.
"Slow down, jagiya." Seonghwa chuckles. He held you tightly and rubbed your back. 
"Sorry, my love." You sniffle and look to his face. Despite the black mask covering his nose down to his jaw, you can tell he has a big grin on his face. He moves a step back from you, resting his hands on your jaw. The pads of his thumbs swipe away your tears gently. "I'm so happy to see you in person again."
"I'm happy too." He carefully guided you to turn around so he could move back in front of you, his back to the crowd. He pulls down his mask and leans in, his soft lips meet yours in a loving kiss. You couldn't help but smile against his lips as it felt like world around each of you melted away. You both slowly pulled away but kept your faces close. "Congratulations. I am so proud of you, (Y/N)." He whispers and kisses each cheek, making you giggled. 
"Congratulations, (Y/N)!" Wooyoung broke the moment of peace between you both as he pulled you into a big hug. You tilt your head back and laugh, all while there rest of Ateez swarmed you for their own hugs. Your face ached from how much you were smiling.
"Seonghwa contacted us a week after you had us do that video call with him." Your mother started to explain. You remember that day well, feeling nervous for your parents to meet your long distance, idol boyfriend. But they immediately loved him and exchanged contact information; mostly just in case you got in an emergency so they could inform him. Subsequently, of course, your parents met the rest of Ateez. "They wanted to surprise you and here they are."
"Sorry I lied to you, (Y/N)." Hongjoong laughed, his smile telling you he was anything but apologetic. "Yuhno suggested the idea of it being a surprise when I ran into him before I talked it over with our company. So really, blame him."
"Hey, you could of said no, Joong-hyung." Yuhno playfully glared then set his sights on Seonghwa. "Didn't you initiate the call with her parents?"
"Yes, but Sannie and Woo also sat in on the call too." Seonghwa shot back. The group delved into a big, non-serious argument of who is to blame for the lies. You shook your head with a chuckle and went to your parents.
"Thank you for arranging this." You hug them both tightly.
"Of course, (Y/N). We could see how happy you were when we met him and how yourself you were with the rest of the group, so we knew we had to put this together for you somehow." Your father had a big smile on his face, you could see tears in his eyes. "Oh, my child is all grown up..."
"I've been grown up, dad. Don't cry, you're going to make me cry again." You chuckle, feeling that sting of tears again in your eyes. You feel arms wrap around you from behind and you knew immediately it is Seonghwa. "Did you guys settle who's fault it is, love?"
"No, but it seems everyone puts the blame back on Hongjoong." He laughs. He smiles at your parents and gives them a polite bow of his head. The rest of Ateez joined back up with your parents and your best friend. They started discussing dinner plans, you jumping in when needed for translation help.
Your smile doesn't leave your face as you lean back into Seonghwa. You could have just cheap take out with everyone and you'd be happy.
---
You said goodbye to your parents and best friend when everyone arrived back at your apartment after dinner. They wanted to let you have some time alone with Ateez. Your parents managed to reserve a private space at a great restaurant ran by a friend of your mother's. The manager went to buy snacks and drinks for the rest of you guys for tonight at a near by convenience store.
"Wow you have a nice place, (Y/N)." Yeosang compliments as he looks at the various decorations and how you and your roommate placed the minimal furniture.
"Thanks, it was a collaborative effort with my roomie. Which, be as loud as you guys want. She won't be in for a few nights since she'll be staying with her family." You smile and turn go to put leftovers from dinner in the fridge, missing the way everyone looked towards Seonghwa. "How long are you here for?"
"Just the rest of tonight. We fly back early in the morning tomorrow. We may have pulled this off but we still have busy schedules coming up." Jongho answers.
"Sorry we can't stay longer." San sighs with an apologetic smile.
"No worries, I'm happy you guys made it for today." You grin and move to sit next to Hwa on the couch, immediately leaning against him. "So I take it you guys flew in last night? Is that why you were actually in a hotel, love?"
He chuckles and nods, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. His fingers gently traced patterns on your arm. "I'm glad we got to witness this."
"Of course, I'd do the same for you guys."
"Well, if you would..." Mingi smiles as he walks in front of you, holding out several small pieces of paper for you. You gingerly take them, and look at everyone with confusion and curiosity as they surrounded the couch. Wooyoung took his spot next to you and rested his chin on your shoulder, aka, on Seonghwa's hand.
"Oh my God." You gasp as you look at each paper. They chuckled at your shock. There were several plane tickets; one to South Korea, a round trip ticket to Japan and then back to Korea, and then one back home. The next paper was a pass for the waterbomb festival coming up.
"We will email you the actual virtual tickets soon." Wooyoung said with a big grin.
"A graduation present from us and our manager." Seonghwa kissed your temple.
"This had to be so expensive..."
"Don't worry about it at all. We didn't have to pay for the waterbomb ticket and we all chipped in for the flights." Yuhno said softly from behind the couch. You felt his hand pat the top of your head a few times. There was a knock at the door and the tallest went to open the door for their manager,  who came in with two, black plastic bags and one backpack. You quickly got up to your feet and approached him with a smile.
"Thank you for all you have done."
"I should thank you for helping me keep them in line." He chuckles and hands you the plastic bags. He walks over to the couch and sets the backpack at Seonghwa's feet. "Remember, we have a flight back to Korea tomorrow. Don't drink too much. (Y/N), drink all you want."
Some time passed and everyone was lounging around in the living room of your apartment. Mingi, San, and Wooyoung took over the couch. Jongho, Yuhno, Yeosang, and their manager sat in chairs from the small kitchen table. You, Seonghwa, and Hongjoong were sitting on the floor, all while everyone watched a trashy, American reality show. You were sitting between Hwa's legs with your back against his chest while he rested against San's legs.
You felt your phone buzz in your pocket. You fish it out and unlock it, seeing it was an email notification. You tapped the notification, though you didn't read what it was for, figuring it was a promotional thing or something. You looked up at the tv screen for a moment before taking a moment to read over the contents of the email.
Your eyes slowly widened with each line you read. You felt your heart flutter as you sit up straight. You felt Seonghwa's hands on your hips and he had a curious look on his face.
"(Y/N)? What's wrong?" He asks softly, trying not to draw everyones attention. He leans forward and you can feel his chest on your back again, his chin on your shoulder. You raise your phone screen up so he can have an easier time reading the email. You turn your head just enough to see his expression turn to one of shock. You felt him wrap his arms around your waist and hold you tight as a big smile broke out on his face. "Does... Does this mean...?"
"What's happening?" Sannie asked from the couch. He leaned forward as well and you pass him your phone. You can practically feel the excitement oozing from Seonghwa. San suddenly stood up, knocking into the eldest's back. He had a huge grin, his dimple prominent on his face. 
Wooyoung snatched your phone from San and you watched as his eyes scan over the screen. He then looks up at you with a big smile. "No way!"
"Care to share with the rest of us?" Mingi asked while Yeosang muted the channel. 
"Well-" San started to speak but then clasps his own hand over his mouth for a moment. He hands you back your phone and sits back down. He eagerly gestures for you to speak. You feel Hwa's hands gently squeeze your hips.
"A job I applied for contacted me and told me they were looking for fresh faces and say they see potential with my resume, my CV, and from my letters of recommendation." You beamed and everyone looked excited for you. A sea of congratulations soon followed. You kept your beaming expression and you see Hongjoong look at you.
"There is more, isn't there?" He asked, a smile growing on his face.
"The job is located in Seoul. And they are allowing me to start towards the end of the year to give me time to get my legal documents situated and to move." 
There was a moment of silence.
Then, your apartment became chaos with pure excitement. Seonghwa, Wooyoung and San already pledged themselves to help you find a place in your upcoming visit. Mingi and Yuhno express excitement for the prospect of staying over at your new place. Yeosang, Jongho, and Hongjoong already start to make plans for when you start living there. Everyone decides to have one more drink to celebrate, their manager unable to say no to such an occasion.
---
You give each member a hug as they are about to leave for the night, saying your goodbyes. You move to hug Seonghwa but he sidesteps you and moves to stand behind you. You give him a confused look while the others chuckle.
"I'm staying with you tonight, jagiya." He pecked your cheek. The others say goodnight, their manager telling him to be read by 7am, and they all quickly leave. Now, it's just you and Seonghwa. 
"That's why he brought a backpack for you." You laugh and turn to face him. You place your hands on the back of his neck and raise a brow. "You've been nothing but surprises today. I really do appreciate it." 
"Of course. I'd do just about anything for you." He smiles sweetly and leans in to kiss you. Unlike the other kisses you two shared today, this one was longer and more passionate. You can feel his lips move against yours as he swipes his tongue along your bottom lip. You smile against the kiss. Before you could part your lips, he pulls away with a flirtatious look. 
"I love you, love." He smiles at your words. He lifts his hand up and gently traces his fingers down the side of your face, sending shivers down your spine. His arms wrap around your body and he keeps you pressed against him.
"I love you too, jagiya." He brings you into another intense kiss, his tongue invading your mouth this time. You feel his fingers curl in against your back, all while your hands find themselves in his hair. He breaks the kiss once more but rests his forehead against yours. "Would you like to celebrate a little more? We don't have to go further than this-"
"I would love to." You grin. You move from Seonghwa's grasp and take his hand, pulling him to your bedroom.
The second you closed the door, Hwa is already guiding you to your bed. He lays you down on your back while he crawls over you, his lips pressed against yours. His hands grip your hips before he starts to slide them under your shirt. He shifts his leg, placing it between your thighs. His knee is just barely brushes against your core. His hands start to gently kneed your breasts over your bra.
Seonghwa starts to trail tender kisses down from your mouth to your neck. You smile at the affection and you place a kiss of your own on the top of his head. He smirked against your neck as he gently bites your skin. You feel him shift his leg that was between your legs, applying a small amount of pressure against your cunt. You let out a soft noise from the sensation and you can feel yourself growing wetter and wetter.
You move one your hands down to the growing bulge in his pants. Seonghwa chuckled and sat up, taking your hand off him.
"Tonight is all about you, jagiya." He smiled softly. He took hold of both your wrists in his hand and held them above your head. "Let me worship you."
You felt a pleasant shiver down your spine again and you nod. Hwa let go of your hands and began kissing your neck again. This time his kisses and bites to your neck were more intense. You knew for sure you would have a couple of marks there. He released his hold on your wrists but you kept your arms about head. Your body is completely at his mercy and that had you excited.
You felt him press his leg against your aching core again and this time you rolled your hips to seek pleasure, causing yourself to moan.
"Good, jagiya." Seonghwa chuckles as he moves his face by your ear. You feel his lips brush against your ear before he gently nips it. He sat up and helped you up as well.
He hums softly, tracing his nose along your face before he kisses you again. He gently nibbles your bottom lip and stares deeply into your eyes. Hwa licks his lips as he leans down and scans your body with his eyes. You feel his hand take hold of your shirt and slowly lift it up and off your body. His fingers nimbly unclasps your bra and he tosses it off your body. 
Seonghwa's hands caress and gently squeeze your breasts, the pads of his thumbs were on your nipples as he rubbed small circles with them.  He hummed with a smile. "I missed these."
You chuckle softly. "You missed my boobs?"
"Yes." He moves himself so his face his close to them. "I missed all off you, (Y/N). I missed your face, your touch, your taste... I missed seeing your smile in person, I missed hearing your laugh right beside me. I miss you."
"I miss you too Hwa." You give his cheek a tender peck. You bite your bottom lip as his hands still kneaded your breasts and his thumbs applied some pressure. "Luckily I got that job. I'll be a lot closer to you by next year."
"Still feels so far away." He whispers and starts kissing your chest. He bites the skin and sucks, doing this until he reached your nipples. His mouth encompasses the pebbled skin. You bring one of your hands up to his head and combed your fingers through his hair. He sucks and gently nibbles, his tongue rolling over your perked bud. He does this to both nipples for a few moments before pulling away, a line of saliva briefly hangs between his lips and your skin. "I want to try something, jagiya." 
"What do you want to try, love?"
"Would you want to sit on my face and let me pleasure you?" His question makes your face flush with heat. 
"You'd want to do that? Are-Are you sure you want me to sit on your face?" You can feel yourself getting more wet by the second.
"Of course." He smiles sweetly. He sits up straight so he can meet your eyes easily, his hands slide down and gently hold onto your hips. "Like I said, jagiya, I missed your taste and I think you will look breathtaking doing so... Do you want to try this out with me?"
"Then... I would like to." You bite your bottom lip and smile. His face broke out in a grin and he helped you off your lap. He moves to lay down as you slip off your pants and underwear. You move yourself up the bed near his head and carefully placed your leg on the other side of his head. His hands slid up from behind your thighs and your ass to hold your hips. You hovered over his face, looking down at him between your legs. You were a bit hesitant to lower yourself down though. "Are you sure-"
You didn't even get to finish your question when you felt Seonghwa pull you down to his mouth. Immediately his tongue went to work against you clit. You moan, one hand bracing yourself against the wall while you bury the fingers of the other in his dark hair. A vibrator certainly worked wonders, but there is something else about his tongue. He moved his up and down against your clit before moving it in circles clockwise.
"Hwa..." You say, almost sounding breathless. He simply hums and continues his ministrations with his tongue. He nuzzles his faces against your cunt and adjust his mouth so he could lap you up. Seonghwa's tongue briefly pushes against your clit and then you feel his lips wrap around your sensitive bud, gently sucking on it. Instinctively you bite your lip to hold back your moan, making him lightly slap your ass, not enough to hurt but to get a point across. He lifts you just enough to free his mouth so he could speak.
"You said your roommate is gone for the night?" He asks and you give him a quick 'yes.' You felt his lips curl into a smile. "Then don't hold back, jagiya. It's just us."
You feel his tongue move against you again in all the right ways, making you moan again. You didn't hold it back this time and you could tell Hwa is pleased with that. He shifted underneath you and he buries his face into your cunt, he continued to gently suck and swirl his tongue around your clit. His ministrations had you squirming, slowly rocking your hips against him, and you were making all sorts of noises. 
"Seonghwa..." You whimper. You speaking his name in such a manner had him groan in pleasure. You feel him shift yet again, his grip on your hips firm. His tongue is off your clit and you feel his tongue swirl around your entrance. He penetrates you and thrusts with his tongue while his nose brushed against your swollen bud. His mouth is working wonders on your and you can feel yourself getting closer to an orgasm. Hwa doesn't relent, keeping the pleasure going and keeping you relatively still with his hands holding onto your hips. "Fuck... Hwa I'm-!"
Your walls fluttered around his tongue. You feel your thigh muscles tighten and they press against his head. A loud noise of pleasure leaves your lips as you throw your head back. Hwa squeezes and lightly massages your hips as you climax, his tongue slowly slides out from your hole and gently licks your cunt. He waits a few moments before gently guiding you off his face. You lift a leg and sit next to his head, your back against your headboard. 
Seonghwa quickly got up, licking his lips clean of your juices though his chin and nose still shined with your climax. He sits next to you and his hands caress your legs. He smiles at you, a look of satisfaction on his face, while you came down from your orgasm. 
"You have a little something on your face." You giggle and gesture around your own chin and nose. He chuckles and you watch as he swipes his fingers over his skin and then lick them clean.
"Better?" He whispers with a slight smirk. You can tell he was trying to be sexy but he still had some of your cum on him. You giggle softly making him blush and chuckle.
"Here, hold on for a moment." You get up from the bed and head out of your room to your bathroom. You grabbed a clean wash cloth, dampened it with some water, and returned to your bedroom. You hand Seonghwa the cloth and he gives you an appreciative smile, his cheeks and ears dusted with a subtle pink. You sit back down as he cleans off his face. He sets the cloth on your nightstand and looks back at you.
You watch as Seonghwa gets off the bed. His eyes scan your body with a smirk. Slowly, he took off his shirt and slid off his pants and boxers. Both of you were completely nude and you can see just how turned on he is. Hwa gets back onto your bed and gets right up to you, his face mere inches from yours.
"I love you so much, (Y/N)." He whispers. His hand comes up and gently caresses your jaw and neck.
"I love you too, Seonghwa." You smile at him, your tone soft and full of love. He smiles back and presses his lips against yours. His kiss is tender this time around. His hand cradles the back of your head to keep you in place, but you know you don't want to pull away in this moment. Your fingers graze the skin of his bare chest. You slowly brought them up to his collarbones and then his neck.
"Hmm, I want to take this all the way, jagiya." He pauses for a moment as his eyes look down at your body and then back at your face. He smirks. "I want to hear all those lovely noises you make."
"If I get to ride you, my love." You say in a sensual tone. His smirk crumbles to a flustered look at your suggestion, but he still smiles regardless.
"Is that what you want?"
"Yes." You nod and he bites his bottom lip. Seonghwa moves and sits down, his back against the headboard now. You grin, moving to stand on your legs before you throw your leg over his lap, effectively straddling him. His hands are once again on your hips as he pulls your body against his. He has a lustful and excited smile on his face.
"Condoms? I brought some-"
"No, it's fine. I trust you and I'm still taking birth control." You smile.
You reach behind and grab the shaft of Seonghwa's cock. You carefully drag his tip through your wet folds to tease him a little. You line him up to your entrance and look at his face. He gives a small nod for you to continue and you do so. You slowly lower yourself down, languidly taking him inside you. You both let out a soft moans. You sat in his lap, your hands grip his shoulders, while his cock fully inside you and you take a moment to savor the feeling.
"Ah, you feel so good, jagiya." Seonghwa mumbles, his lips barely brush against yours. You can feel his hot breath but you didn't care. His eyes were half-closed as he stared deeply into yours. You can feel his hands caressing your hips, thighs, and ass. His length twitches inside and you can tell he is full of anticipation for you to start moving. Hwa gives you a sweet smile, which contrasts with the current, steamy situation. "Take your time. You have control right now until you want me to take over."
"Thank you, love." You whisper softy and peck his lips. You wait a full two minutes before you started moving. You take a slow and steady pace, your thigh muscles flexing as you raise yourself up and down on his cock. Seonghwa's hands firmly held your hips yet he made no effort to control your movements, he simply assisted you so you wouldn't be doing all the work. 
"This feels nice." Hwa murmurs and leans his head down, his lips pressing against your neck. You feel his teeth graze your skin and he gently nips at your neck.
"Feels s'good." You moan softly. You rock your hips at a pleasurable pace. It is a very sensual moment between you both. It was just you and him, nothing else mattered. He raised his head from your neck and pressed his forehead against yours. He looked at you with pure adoration and love. His hands slide to your lower back and then moved up to your shoulder blades. You feel his arms against your sides as he hugged you close to his chest. You still moved your hips at a slow pace. 
This is a moment of passion and pleasure, but also a moment of love and bliss.
You sunk all the way down on him and gently grind your hips against him, feeling pleasure come from your clit grazing his pubic mound. Seonghwa smiles at you, enjoying how you look getting yourself off on him. He kiss your cheek and his lips linger to you skin for a few moments. You feel his fingertips press into your back and rub small circles on your skin.
You returned to moving yourself up and down on his cock. You increased your speed, sometimes focusing on his tip and then rotating to taking him all the way. Regardless  of what you did, he was moaning and groaning at all your movements. His hands were back on your hips as you leaned away from him with your hands gripping his shoulders. You both wanted to see your faces.
You feel a coil-like sensation in your lower stomach as pleasure builds up again. Your breathing is harsh and deep, and you can feel your legs getting tired... but you wanted to keep going. Seonghwa could see and feel how you your stamina is waning. He smiles sweetly and leans forward to capture your lips in a passionate yet short kiss.
"Relax, jagiya." His voice is smooth and low. He holds your hips and stops your movements. Seonghwa then starts to thrust his hips up at a quick pace. A loud moan escapes your lips as you cling on to him. He leaned forward and nibbles on your neck while you feel one of his hands move from your hip to your pubic mound. Hwa pressed his thumb over your swollen clit and started rubbing circles.
"O-Oh, Hwa..." You whimper out. You feel that heat building up more and more inside you.
"Hng- You're amazing, (Y/N)."He moaned as well, moving his head away from your neck to stare at your face. You can see he was getting close to his own release by the erotic expression on his face. 
"I-I think... I'm going to cum again." You whisper, feeling that all too familiar feeling crawl up your legs. You looked at him with all the love you could muster. The intimacy and intense feelings all added to your impending orgasm. The way the head of his cock hit that sweet spot inside you just right and his thumb swirling and applying the correct amount pressure sent you over the edge. You lean forward with your forehead against his as a loud whine leaves your mouth, your walls fluttering around his cock.
"(Y/N)-!" He groaned, still thrusting into your cunt. He stared intensely into your eyes, chasing his own climax. His breathing grows ragged and his thrusts became off rhythm. A moan tumbles from his lips as he sloppily kisses you, thrusting one last time. You feel his cock twitch inside you as his cum coats your walls. He keeps himself fully sheathed inside you as you both catch your breaths.
"Seonghwa..." You murmur, your body slumping against his, resting your head on his shoulder. His arms wrap around you and his hands gently grip the skin of your back. You feel his warm breath fan over the back of your neck as he leveled out his breathing. Seonghwa made a noise that sounded like a mix of a sigh and a moan as he rests his head against yours.
Neither of you said anything further. Seonghwa keeps his arms tight around you while you equally clinged to him. Nothing really needed to be said in this moment, the high emotions you both shared spoke enough.
Minutes passed when you finally speak up.
"We should probably clean up and get you to bed." You whisper to him, pulling your head back to look over this face.
"I want to stay like this, jagiya." He murmurs, placing his lips on your neck. "I feel so close to you like this... "
"I know, love, but we have to be up early." Hwa groaned at this, which makes you laugh.
"Stop being right."
"Come on... let's take a shower, Hwa." He reluctantly helps you off his lap, his softening length now out of you. You both get off from your bed and you lead him out your room to your bathroom. His hands remained on your waist as you both walked and then waited for the shower water to warm up. He didn't want to let go of you just yet.
After the shower and after drying off, you both go back into your room to change into comfortable clothes to sleep in. He laid down first, slipping under the covers. When you joined him, you laugh when his arms pulled you flush against his body. Seonghwa tucks your head under his chin and he holds you firmly in his arms. You chuckle and hold him just as tightly.
"I don't want to let go of you again... this feels like it's going to be harder than when you when you visited." He says with a sigh.
"I know, Hwa, I know." You mumble, already feel an ache in your chest. "Let's savor the rest of tonight together."
There is a pause.
"I love you, (Y/N)."
"I love you too, Seonghwa."
Morning came too fast your liking. You and Seonghwa awoke with your limbs practically tangled. His warmth despite the temperatures warming outside is comforting in the moment. You both reluctantly got dressed and made Hwa a light breakfast.
A little before 7am, Ateez and their manager came back over to pick Seonghwa up and of course came to say goodbye. You got an earful of teasing when they see the blemishes and marks Hwa left on your neck. You hugged each member and of course your hug lingered on Hwa, with you both gently caressing each other's backs for comfort.
Goodbyes were harder this time around, but you still had that ray of optimism due to your move to South Korea. It will be rough, but with Seonghwa, the rest of Ateez, and even their manager, you knew it would be a feat you'll overcome.
Your new horizon awaits you and your life with Seonghwa seems to be on the right track.
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Taglist: @stopeatread @hee0soo @tridkeys @pocketjoong-reads @seonghwaddict @lelaleleb @acciocriativity @h-nji
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ankiebitez · 7 months ago
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Comfort
tags: amon x gn! reader (as far as i know), hurt/comfort kinda, implications of the mcs parents death, implications of amons parents death
note: not beta read, drabble i wrote last night bc i could sleep, probably ooc but oh well. mc is kind of just based on my own feelings so. wrote this bc amons my babygirl, posting bc there should be more for him
you were currently staying in the avisos palace for the next few days, courtesy to bael hoping to lure beelzebub back once again. despite being used as bait, bael was at least kind enough to give you your own room to stay in, though now it wasnt exactly being used.
you dont know what exactly it was, but you couldn't get your brain to shut off so you could rest. your brain was just too full of thoughts that you usually tried to suppress, but as much as you wish they'd dissappear they never seem to. instead deciding to haunt you late at night when there's nothing you can do to push them away.
after getting tired of your restlessness you decided to take a walk through the empty halls of the palace, hoping this would do to clear your mind so you could rest.
unfortunately your thoughts only seemed to echo in time with your footsteps, bouncing off the walls of your brain until it was too much to hold together anymore.
quietly you sat down by one of the windows, cracking it slightly to let the cool air hit your face that felt like it was burning up.
truly you didnt know why you were crying now of all times, you were in hell where tons of devils loved you, but you couldn't help but still feel lonely.
a hard painful lump was in your throat while you tried your best to keep quiet with your sobs and sniffles, not wanting to wake anyone. you wouldn't know how to explain why you're crying, there wasnt really a true reason, sometimes you just need it.
despite your attempts to keep quiet, the sound of foot steps came through the hall to the room you were in.
you quickly tried to wipe your face to hide any traces but there wasnt really a need as a blonde haired demon carefully entered the room.
"oh, its you... you're crying" amon thought aloud almost curiously. he had been on night patrol through the palace, making sure no one had snuck inside or if beelzebub had returned yet.
amon came closer to you by the window, a look of concern on his face. "is something wrong? are you hurt?" he asked, looking over you for any signs of physical harm.
you shook your head a bit embarrassed, though there was no hint of judgment in his eyes. "no im okay i was just having a hard time sleeping and all i guess... i dont even know why im crying its just... stuff from when i was younger and i just..." you trailed off, the painful lump in your throat and watery eyes returning.
you didn't need to finish your sentence though, amon had been told about your past already and he can understand without words how pain from years ago can still hurt just as deeply, how you can feel just as lonely.
"oh... I can keep you company if youd like" amon offered, sitting beside you and offering to hold you.
with a hesitant nod, you let amon pull you close to his chest, placing you on his lap and holding you tightly in his arms, feeling the tears continue to well up in your tired eyes despite the feeling of comfort he gave.
amon didnt let go or push you away, only holding you tighter and letting you cry into his chest as you needed.
he silently understood the way you felt, understanding the need to release pressure on these old feelings sometimes, and even though he cant make the lonely feeling dissappear, he promises to keep you company through them.
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e-m-ma-lmfao · 1 year ago
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HII im a huge fan of ur writing and ur one of the few final fantasy writers on here thats active 😭😭 i was hoping i could request some zack fair fluff? like before the events of crisis core, maybe he accidentally gets himself sick during work and angeal knows he'll just keep showing up for work bc he wants the promotion to first class so bad, so he gets zacks childhood bestfriend (reader) to go keep an eye on him and make sure he actually rests lol. zack keeps insisting hes ok but reader is having none of it and takes care of him, which eventually leads to a confession bc zack doesnt understand why reader cares so much and it just leads to everything coming out. i hope that made sense lol this is my first request :) dont feel pressured to do this of course!!!
Since We Were Kids
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pairing : zack fair x (female) reader
summary : zack is determined to reach first class. so much so that he will push through one of the most debilitating cold's he's ever had. angeal attempts to get him home, calling in zacks childhood best friend for help.
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“Angeal! Come on! You know how important this is to me..” Zack lets out a pitiful whine, attempting to persuade his superior, before his whine turns into a horrific coughing fit. He doesn’t have to look up now that Angeal’s face has made no changes, he is stoic and his decision is final, Zack will not be staying for work this week. 
“You can take a week off.. Besides you're of no use to anybody with the state you're in. Go home, get some rest.”
“Fine..” 
“I mean it Zack..” 
“Yeah..yeah..i heard ya.” Zack crosses his arms, heavy sigh passing through his lips, eyebrows furrowing as he walks away from where Angeal stands. He was barely sick..a little cough wasn’t gonna hold him back from becoming a first class SOLDIER.
Zack barely lasts 20 minutes away from his training before his sword is back in his hands. His constant coughing fits are feeling him with annoyance but he powers through them to continue swinging away with the chunk of metal in his hands. 
But why was he so tired? He usually had so much energy. Why was his sword so hard to carry? It never had been before.. 
And why did it feel like someone's hand was on his shoulder? “Zack!”
He jumps away when there is suddenly shouting coming from beside him, his head pounding in a way that wasn't noticeable until this moment, “Angeal! Hey pal..what’re you..uh..doing here?”
“What’re you doing here? I told you to go home.” 
“I can’t go home, this is too important, I’m not even that sick..” Even Zack’s faith in the statement is beginning to falter, especially when his eyes become blurry from the dizziness pooling at the front of his head. 
“Go home.” 
“No way!” Zack expects Angeal to disagree again but he doesn’t, he actually doesn't say anything, he just walks away. It’s so out of character that Zack debates just listening to him and leaving so he doesn’t get demoted, but he decides against it and continues to practice while sweat pools on his skin. 
It doesn’t take long for Angeal to return, Zack isn't worried when he hears his heavy footsteps from down the hallway, but he is unaware of the other pair of feet following close behind.
At this point, Zack is just staying for spite, his body is exhausted and he is barely swinging his sword, and his coughing fits are becoming more frequent to the point where he has to stop moving to take deep breaths. 
“Zack. Enough is enough. Your friend can take you home now.”
“Huh?” Zack turns and almost starts coughing again, but only because the breath hitches in his throat, you shouldn’t be here, you shouldn’t be seeing him like this. It’s pitiful, his inability to stay strong for training is embarrassing, and your gaze full of pity isn;t helping in the way it usually does. 
“She’s taking you home.” Zack opens his mouth to argue once more but Angeal has had enough, “No arguing. My decision is final, if I see you here again before I say you can return I will demote you myself, good luck reaching first class then..”
Zack looks defeated but he closes his mouth, and drops his sword with a loud clang, before trudging towards your side with his arms crossed tightly. His mannerisms make a giggle slip out of you, he looks like a child, but you quickly mask it as a cough when he shoots you a serious glare. Also reminiscent of a child but if you laughed again he might punch you. 
He isn’t happy about having to leave, especially being escorted out by a lady half his size, but he doesn’t make any complaints when you intertwine your arm in his to keep him stable. 
“I’m fine, y’know. I’m only going home because Angeal made me.” You nod along with him as he talks, hiding the disbelief running through your head. God was this kid stubborn, but it made you happy to know that his training hadn't changed the way he was when you were kids.  
“Zack, you need to rest..” 
“I need to reach first class.” 
“How do you expect to do that if you can’t even hold your sword up, dork.” His face scrunches up, but to your surprise he doesn’t pull his body away, he actually does the opposite and pulls your arm closer to his body. He’s using you to hold up a large amount of his body weight, but you allow him as long as he needs. 
When you finally reach Zack’s home, it takes more effort to get him into bed then you’d care to admit, he truly acts like a child insisting that he ‘doesn’t need to get any sleep because he feels perfectly fine’ followed by a coughing fit and him having to sit down because he feels dizzy. You promise him the soup that he likes if he gets into bed, to which he begrudgingly agrees to. 
After practically forcing food down his throat, he finally allows himself to be tired and his head falls back onto the pillows. You place a cold cloth on his forehead, after feeling it with your own hands and deciding that his fever might only be worsening. How’d he keep training while being this sick? 
You watch as he dozes off, you can tell he is trying to stay awake so he doesn’t fully admit that he is sick, but his body is taking over. He finally looks at peace, even though his hair is sticking to his forehead and his breathing is heavy, at least he’s getting some rest.
You plan on leaving, really you do, but you get so caught up in the image of him sleeping that you find your own eyes falling closed, head resting by his side against the bed. 
When your eyes open again it’s dark outside, you can’t tell how long you’ve been sitting with him but from the darkness pouring into the room, it’s longer then you meant for. You worry for a moment, worry that you’ve overstayed your welcome and that Zack got up hours ago to sleep away from you, but when you turn the lamp on beside his bed you find him in the same spot you’d left him. 
You’re greedy with how you look at him, you miss being so close to him. The proximity makes you realize how much you’ve missed him since he started his training, you hardly see him. And you wish the circumstances for finally seeing him again weren't because he was sick, and rather because he actually wanted to see you. But you’d take any time you could get with your best friend. 
He stirs suddenly and you let your hand fall on top of his, tangling your fingers in his, as a way to bring him some comfort in his sleep. His skin is warm and clammy, heating up your hands, it should be gross but the feeling of his hand in yours fills your stomach with a flurry of butterflies.
Slowly, his eyes flutter open and you can tell he is dazed, the way he scans the room to gather his surroundings before landing on you once more confirms your thoughts. 
“Y/n?” Zack’s voice is hoarse, causing him to clear his throat before he continues talking, “What’re you still doing here? How long have you been here?”
For a minute your heart pumps inside your chest faster than before, nervousness building in your stomach, “I’m sorry..I fell asleep a couple..hours ago I think. I didn’t want to leave right away in case you woke up again but I never meant to fall asleep.” 
“Why’re you apologizing..” His fingers, which you had forgotten were tangled in your own, tense against your skin and tighten their grip on your hand. 
“Sorry..” 
Your second apology causes him to let out a laugh. A laugh that immediately has him sitting up because he coughs so hard his lungs hurt, and he squeezes your hand tighter in his lap while he tries to catch a breath. 
When he finally catches a break, taking deep breaths while your hand slides up and down his back, he looks at you pitifully, “You’re gonna get sick..go home.” 
“You're crazy if you think I'm going home. I’m not leaving, who’s gonna take care of you?” 
“I can take care of myself, you know..”
“This is news to me.” You raise an eyebrow at him, to which he responds by sticking his tongue out tiredly. He can’t even retort like he usually does. He doesn't have the energy to argue and tell you to leave so you don’t get sick, Zack isn’t even sure he wants you to leave anymore. 
“You don’t have to stay..” 
“I want to, Zack. I care about you.” You can’t tell if his cheeks were already flushed or if they suddenly became red as you spoke to him, but either way you were sure your face was mirroring his.  
He falls back onto the pillows, asking you quietly if you'll get him some water and another blanket before he gets the chills, and you happily oblige. Even while he’s sick, he is able to feel content and you’re happy to be the reason. 
Zack's fingers find your hand again, squeezing gently as you sit on the chair beside him, “..Training is kicking my ass.” 
“Yeah..but I’m sure it’ll be all worth it eventually,” You try not to let his spirits get down especially while he is in such a tired state, his training put on pause because of his sickness, and you ponder telling him more, “I miss you, you know..a lot.”
A small smile appears on his face, eyes puffy and bags under his eyes, and he looks towards you, “Yeah?” 
You can only nod, embarrassed by his lack of affirmation that he has felt the same over the months he’s been training. 
“I missed you too..” And the embarrassment flees from your body instantaneously, while his thumb rubs over the top of your knuckles. 
The two of you sit in silence for a while, him playing with your knuckles as he tries to hold back the aggressive coughs that threaten to leave his mouth. His head is pounding, and he should feel like shit, but he truly can’t bring himself to when you're looking into his eyes all concerned and you’re letting him play with your hands with no complaints.
“Why’d you stay?” His voice startles you, and you try to pretend that you weren't staring at him and admiring every detail of his face. 
“I already told you..” You roll your eyes, letting out a huff before leaning on the palm of your hand, in all honesty you were ready to doze off while Zack looked around your hands and face. 
“No..no..why’d you stick around?” His question confuses you and you have to think about what he might mean and then it clicks. You hadn’t realized that he might be aware of how much time his training takes up. It hadn’t occurred to you that Zack could focus on anything but becoming first class.
He’d been neglecting your friendship, but when Angeal rang and asked you to pick Zack up you agreed without hesitation, you forgot instantly about how angry his schedule made you. 
You’re not sure how to answer him. You could tell him the truth, that you had been madly in love with your black haired friend since you were children.
Or you could continue to lie, and claim that you had only stayed around because of your long lasting friendship that had absolutely no underlying romantic feelings that neither one of you could talk about. 
“C’mon Zack..” 
He stares into your eyes, right through you. He knows, he already knows, you don’t have to say anything to him. As he looks at you, he's pleading with you to admit it to him and it makes your stomach crawl with nervousness. 
“Y’know I’d do anything for you..been like that since we were kids.” His eyebrows furrow at your attempt to dodge an admission that you hadn’t been prepared for an hour ago, you still weren't ready to admit to him that you were in love with him. 
“Y/n..do you love me?” 
Again silence fills the room and you’re unsure what to say to the expectant boy. You think, for a second, that he's joking. But his eyes are filled with such sincerity and genuine interest. He wants to know, and he doesn't seem to care if his question comes off bluntly.
When you don’t immediately respond he continues in your place, “Because I think I’m in love with you and I know I’d do anything for you. And I think you feel the same way. I can’t think of any other reason why you wouldn't ignore Angeal’s call, and tell me to deal with this by myself. I know I haven't been around like I should be. But you’re here anyway..”
“Zack please..of course I do. Been like that since we were kids,” You smile softly, repeating yourself and look down at your entangled hands.
He doesn’t let that allow that for very long before he is grabbing your chin to turn your head to face him once more, “I’m not gonna kiss you, because I don't want you getting sick. But I promise you, as soon as this sickness is gone I’m gonna be all over you..” 
Even though his words, words you would've never expected to hear when you dragged him into his room just hours earlier, send a nervous shiver down your body you still find a way to tease him, “Careful Zack. Get too excited and your lungs might act up again.”
“Can I ask you to stay the night?” 
How could you ever say no. 
“Of course, Zack, anything for my first class SOLDIER.” 
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soosoosoup · 6 months ago
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Haaayy can you tell us more about your au where branch finds cooper's egg?
Hiiii!! Thanks for asking! And of course :)
lol turns out I had a lot more thought out. Fair warning, none of this is concrete, this was thought up a while ago and uhhhhh… writing is not my strong suit lol
In this au I had debated whether to make copper a little bit younger, I already hc him as the youngest of the snack pack so idk if its needed lol.
While in the beginning of making his bunker, branch (who’s maybe 7??) would travel farther out into the forest and gather supplies to build when he stumbles on what looks like an egg? Just in time too, ‘cause Coops pops out like in twt, does his little groove, & then proceeds to flop over to nap (being baby is tiring work).
Branch is just ??? cause like what?? Baby? Way out here in the woods?? Why does the baby have 4 legs??? Why is said baby all alone? And that last part makes b pause for a sec bc where’s his family? Did he lose them? Or is it even worse…was he left behind? (He might be projecting a lil).
Cooper and Branch proceed to live where other kids w/o families go. Caretakers try to care for cooper & he is not having it. After all, branch is the first person he’d ever seen, was the first person who’d carried him. He’s imprinted on branch and whole heartedly believes and he is his family. So if C needs to be taken care of B has to be there. It goes on long enough that the caretaker decides it'll just easier if branch helped take care of him; and who knows maybe he'll regain his color being around such a happy little goober.
At first, branch doesn’t realize how much he means to C and assumes his attachment will fade. After all why wouldn’t it when he’s being doted on by warm and cheerful trolls. But nope! Whenever the caretakers aren't taking cooper around the village, Cooper is always following Branch. Around the pod, and through the woods. Branch looks out for him, talks to him, teaches him what he can, and even plays games! I think the fact that branch has been a part of Coopers whole life gives him a sense of obligation perhaps like a big brother?. It's easy to be open to him.
All attempts to foster Cooper are unsuccessful. It's not that Cooper doesn't match the family, it's that he just doesn't want to live with them. Imagine a foster family having the time of their lives singing & playing around & when the time comes Cooper's like 'I had a lot of fun today! Time to go! what?? Stay here? be a part of your family? ...Nope :D
When the time comes that the bunker can feasibly house him, (preteen?) Branch packs up what little he owns, and prepares to leave that night. It's not like the anyone at the orphanage would chase after him. Well, except for one trolling.
It's been years, long enough that their bond is strong, they're brothers in all but name. At least unnamed on branch's side, he kind of refuses to acknowledge it.
Anyway- Branch waits until everyone falls asleep and sneaks out. He doesn't even make it out of the room lol. One foot out the door and a sleepy voice is asking him where he's going. Branch just says he's going to the bunker, that he'll see him soon, it won't be forever you see what im trying to parallel? and it's true. It's not like he's leaving to who knows where. Cooper just nods & yawns out a "bye, see you later". Love me a parallel
Branch lasts an hour or two in the bunker. He's on edge the whole time, racked w/ guilt. Has a little mental spiral until there is just one loud thought of 'what am i doing? there's someone waiting for me' and runs back.
In the joined room, Cooper fell asleep on branch's bed waiting for him. So making sure not to wake him, Branch rests coopers head on his lap. Leaning against the headboard Branch just stares at his vest left at the end of the bed & has a moment of clarity. Like oh, that's why i felt terrible, i left my little brother behind. (Keep in mind that no, he didn’t really do that, but he’s a kid and that whole ‘see you later’ really shook him so he’s making some jumps in logic)(there some projecting happening as well)
So yeah, gained a brother!! yay!!! Cooper beat you to that revelation yeeaarrrss ago lol.
One thing I like about branch being a big bro is this idea that the more he learns about what it means to be one, the less he can understand his brothers. And are they his brothers?? Over the years it’s not looking like it.
#asks#wow didn't think i had that much to say lol#i bet this premise had been thought about before#but it’s still nice to think about :)#make no mistake branch still pretty much lives in the bunker. He only stays in the pod when it’s relatively quiet enough.#there are a lot of bunker sleepovers whenever there’s an overnight party#he officially move out when he’s considered old enough to be coopers carer. Until then he studies up & prepares the bunker#branch has a blue hue to him. it happens gradually so no one really notices#imagine when branch carried bby coops back to the villlage C reaches up and puts his face in hair cause y’know he’s baby#and this baby has a long enough neck to reach#thinking Cooper is 17/18 during first trolls events??#branch is the tiniest bit more integrated into the village#he stays around the outskirts for cooper some days#coopers hangs out in the village if his friends are there. he also likes to join in on some singing and dancing as long it isn’t too loud#he's still part of the snack pack i think?#cooper would not like creek in this au.#lol cooper just straight up tells creek something like ‘wow you sure are full of yourself huh'#lol coopers blunt honesty would probs be more prevalent.#also important point that this all happens while B is a kid#he’s more receptive than if he was older; he hasn’t built thst high of walls around him#rn he’s more sad and scared rather than being at odds w/ the village#first time writing out a… plot summary?? au synopsis??#Thanks for asking!!! uh hopefully you guys liked the ramble :)#any of this can change tbh :) its all been brainstorms for now#idk what i would call this au if i did make it.#i am cringe but i am free#b&c au ??
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panlyv · 1 year ago
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the-s1lly-corner · 1 year ago
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Platonic tadc cast with a child reader Who is like :
"hey, wanna see me do a cartwheel :D"
Basically very spontaneous and chaotic in the adventures lol
Ty!! (and remember to drink water) ;3
TADC cast x chaotic!kid!reader ! (Platonic)
Guys I'm literally so tired I just got done baking a ton of stuff, like I'm talking 12ish hours of non stop cooking and baking I'm going insane im trying so hard not to fall asleep rn because I kinda. Feel bad for not really answering requests today
Anywahs
Hope you enjoy anon!
Written on mobile
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CAINE:
Well well how the turn tables (writing caines portion last for once)
Very similar to kinger and ragatha in that he supports everything you do; in fact he encourages your behavior as long as no one is getting hurt. Very loudly (and sometimes obnoxiously) cheers for you
While kinger can only cheer and clap, I think Caine sets off sparkles and fireworks... probably has a whole group of bubbles cheering you on too , assuming there can be multiple bubbles at any given time (I personally think there can be, and they all share a hivemind of sorts)
So what was the occasion that prompted that?
A wonky cartwheel, of which you excited called "a sideways front flip"
(Fun fact from the admin, I called my first cartwheel that bc I didnt know it was called a cartwheel yet)
POMNI:
Anxious parental figure and hyper child, a dynamic that's hit or miss at least for me. Really it depends on how its executed
That said I think she struggles to keep up with you
Constantly scrambling around you make sure you dont fall into any danger. Literally and figuratively...
Her attempts to get you to sit down for more than five minutes fail
Your ass is failing the marshmallow test/j
RAGATHA:
No thoughts only that one clip from adventure time where BMO pretends to be a wheathervane before trying to nose dive off the roof, all while calling for finns attention. Thats you and ragatha, basically (in essence, not exact scenario though)... maybe zooble too, but we'll get there when we get there (I am currently having a brain blast)
Says things like "what am I gonna do with you" everyday, always lightheartedly of course and usually accompanied by a tired chuckle
Generally very supportive of you though, just so long as you're not hurting yourself! Sure, this is the digital world and injuries dont really stick, but still! The pain is still there
JAX:
I mentioned the marshmallow test in pomnis part and I feel like jax would do something similar with you. Except the test is rigged and the candy (which he uses in place of the marshmallow( is actually for him and not for you. So if you actually earn the extra candy you dont even get it
That said I do think jax would feel bad when you get upset about the joke
Anyways
I think he finds it funny, as long as you're not tugging on his overalls and screaming at him for something, or interfering with his plans
Hes not a neglectful rolemodel/familial figure, he just has a short fuse with the above I think, regardless of who it is, kid or not
That said he fully embraces your spontaneous nature
KINGER:
Peepaw and his grandchild, that's it that's literally the dynamic
"Kinger is only 48-"
Hush♡
"Oh that's so lovely, (reader)" when you run up to him with your hands full of god knows what
Eagerly claps and cheers when you show him a new trick you learned
Bonus if you try to recreate or one up his embellished stories in order to make him proud of you (hes always proud of you)
ZOOBLE:
As mentioned in ragathas part, the wheathervane BMO thing is basically in essence you guys' dynamic. Except where I think ragatha would be quicker to pay attention to you, zooble may be a little slower. Not because they dont care about whatever you're trying to display to them, but because I think a lot of the times they kind of mentally check out (me too honestly)
Tries to scold you if you do something too dangerous or out of line, may come across as way angrier or upset than they actually are though thanks to their voice being kinda
You know
Zooble gives off "cool older sibling who doesnt care about nothing" energy
GANGLE:
Meekly tries to get you to calm down for a few minutes, especially if theres an IHA going on because she doesnt want you to run off and potentially get hurt. Tries to keep you occupied with arts and crafts. Watches in horror as you impulsively eat the glue
Tends to wrap one of her ribbon hands around yours so she knows you're not running off.. this is more so when theres an IHA going on
As per usual not many ideas for gangle <\3
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