#large stopwatch

[buttercupart]

[OC-tober prompts by spiral89art]

day 23 - [create a new oc - music edition] - based off the lyrics

of monsters and men - from finner / dirty paws

[papaya-twinks]

italian blood - l.n - p.2

Warnings: Angst, public shaming (idk what it’s called)

Pairing: Lando Norris x antonelli!fem!reader

Summary: Y/N gets closer with Lando, but that comes with a lot of criticism

part 1

And so you waited at the start of the line, your car placed firmly in the third position, behind Charles, the vibrant green of Alonso’s Aston Martin flashing behind you. Five lights. Out. Your foot slammed on the accelerator, your car jolting into life as you raced forwards, the dash of green behind you closing in further and further and then…back, as you slammed on the brakes, darting forwards. 

Your eyes flickered to your wing mirrors, watching as the Aston Martin fell back behind the orange McLaren, the large four plastered onto the front. “Fuck,” you cursed to yourself, speeding ever forward. DRS - active. Together, your DRA from Charles and Lando’s from you cancelled each other out, pure skill and speed from you and the car could only push this, 

“Y/N, lets manage tyres,” your engineer snapped you out of your rushing thoughts. “I am! I’m trying to keep Norris behind,” you said, edging your car forwards. “No, Y/N, our fight is with the Astons,” you groaned at the words. “Leave me to it,”. You could tell that might annoy Fred, but you had it all planned and laid out in your head. 

You weren’t here to let him past because your engineers told you to. Your fight was and always would be with the leader, and when you beat him, your opponent was the stopwatch. “Box, Box,” the engineer said, your car swerving into the pit lane, hitting down to your limited speed, your pit box illuminated with the flash of red engineers. 

“Y/N, you are 6th, no one in front has pitted,” your engineer confirmed as you sped up, out of the pit lane. “Optimise,”. Those words sent you forwards, your car behind the Mercedes of George Russell, your DRS activating. “Right, we have Piastri, Norris and Verstappen boxing,” you watched as you sped past them, the papaya McLaren of Lando coming behind you, his car accelerating. 

And the course of your undercut worked, you car finishing second behind that of Verstappen’s, Norris behind you. “Fuck yeah!” you grinned, smiling into the radio as you slid into Parc Ferme, your bright red Ferrari standing out alongside the McLaren. “Hey, hey,” a voice said, making you turn around, seeing Lando behind you, “nice one Antonelli,” he winked. 

You smiled at his words, “Weren’t too shabby yourself,” you said with a small laugh. “Aw, thanks,” he punched your arm jokingly. “Wow, Y/N and Lando seem to be getting on well,” you heard th voice of the commentator. You’d experienced this before, the second you showed any sign of friendliness, the media would make it seem like a relationship. 

You followed the other two into the cool down room, Max nodding to you. “Good job, Antonelli,” he said approvingly, as you grinned. “Only a matter of time before I’m the one wearing that,” you pointed at the first place hat on his head. “Yeah? Not if I get it first,” Lando snorted. 

By association, you knew Daniel through Charles, and you were moderately surprised to find yourself reading a message from the Aussie, asking if you wished to join playing paddle with him, Max and Lando. Who were you to say no, right? You were close with Daniel, relatively chill with Max and Lando seemed alright. 

“Hey,” you walked into the court, seeing the three men standing, waiting for you. They were each wearing plain shirts of some sort, and shorts, contrasting your tennis skirt and top, your hair tied back. “Looking ready, Antonelli,” Daniel nodded approvingly as you rolled your eyes, assessing all their outfits. Your eyes landed on Lando’s shirt, relatively loose around the waist and abdomen, but the shirt almost tearing round the biceps. 

You almost had to mentally kick yourself to look away. “Anyways,” you muttered, “teams?”. Instantly, Max stepped towards Daniel, leaving Lando with an offended scoff. “I’m not that bad!” he groaned, rolling his eyes as you laughed. “Maybe I can compensate,” you joked, picking up your racket, a lot smaller than the others, and took your position. 

“Proper tennis stance?” Lando raised an eyebrow at your positioning. “You’re gonna make me look pathetic,” he groaned. “Don’t worry,” you laughed at his words, taking the ball in your hand and serving it. Instantly, Daniel hit it back, onto the edge of Lqndo’s court, luckily, the Brit returning it. “Nice!” you smiled, as Max sent it to you, your wrist flicking it away. 

“Cheers!” he called, the Dutch man sending the object into the middle of your court, your body darting to hit it…exactly what Lando did. You shrieked, feeling your body collide straight into his, your shoulder raised defensively against his chest as you fell back onto your ass. “Aww, someone have a little fall?” Lando cooed, holding his hand out as he smirked at you, 

“Ha ha,” you rolled your eyes, shaking your head as Max and Daniel cackled at the pair of you. You stood up, taking his hand as he yanked you up, surprisingly easily.  “Jesus, you don’t weigh a thing,” he muttered, taking his racket again. “Stay on your side this time!” you huffed, the small ghost of a smile jumping to your face. ?Yes ma’am,” he nodded. 

Lando 🍑: sorry for knocking u over 🥶

Y/N: u should be 🫵😡

Lando 🍑: 😢😢

Y/N: yeah u deserve to cry 😨

Almost everything you how did as a Formula One driver was practically monitored, by fans or the media - so when you followed Lando and he followed you back on instagram, the media went wild, dating allegations thrown around. And you were hardly surprised by the email you found on your phone as you sat in your Monaco apartment, your brother busying round the kitchen. 

To Y/N Antonelli, 

Hey, this is your media team. We’ve decided it’s best you leave your following with Lando alone, but maybe not interact as much as you have been with him. We also need you to release a statement about it. 

Thanks,

Your PR Team 

You rolled your eyes, half groaning at the email. Wow, the second you got along with anyone, it changed the course of peoples LIVES, it seemed. You didn’t want to drop Lando as a friend, but it seemed you were forced to. You published the statement as you were told to, almost begrudgingly as you groaned, ignoring Lando’s messages. 

Lando 🍑: y/n 

Lando 🍑: what’s ur statement thing about?

Lando 🍑: y/n?

Lando 🍑: is it about me? don’t ignore me 

Y/N: it’s best we don’t talk for a while.

You hated sending that, the entire 15 seconds it took to type that, was like pure hell to you. Pushing Lando away wasn’t something you wanted to do, you didn’t want to leave him or drop him as a friend. But that was the life of a Formula One driver. It wasn’t your own life. And you could hardly live either yourself. 

Hey, I’ve been seeing a few posts about some dating rumours. I would just like to say, I’ve been following every other driver since my contract was revealed - and I followed Lando due to a paddle game we had. Creating rumours because you’re bored is pretty time wasting. 

[ms-demeanor]

Good grief, your MIL sounds like an exhausting human being to exist in the presence of (I can guess the answer, but has she ever been diagonosed? She sounds well beyond common-or-garden irrational foibles). Big respect to Large Bastard for surving that and making it to adulthood as an actual functional person. What on earth did she do to make Tiny Bastard so thoroughly terrified of any beeping sound?

She has not been diagnosed with anything professionally: very funny fun fact, she has a Bachelor's in Psychology and she thinks that therapy is a scam and that there's no psychiatric medication that actually works. I have tried to talk to her about going to see someone but when I shared how therapy had helped me deal with my history of trauma she went behind my back to try to talk large bastard into divorcing me because of my history of trauma, so that's when I decided I was done sharing anything about my life with her or putting effort into helping her.

I am continually floored by the fact that Large Bastard was raised by such staggeringly shitty people and ended up being as nice a guy as he is. Don't get me wrong, he's still an asshole, but he is not an asshole like that.

Tiny bastard is scared of beeping, metal stepladders, and used to be scared of soda cans.

The soda cans were because MiL would continually drop empty cans on the tile floors of the house and startle herself with the noise. Stepladders because if MiL got out the stepladder it meant she was going to do some kind of chore or another that would end with yelling. Beeping because MiL walked around with a timer around her neck and would jump and scream when it went off; she would jump and scream MUCH worse at more unexpected noises like the smoke alarm going off, and since she was a terrible cook in a house with not-great ventilation the smoke alarm went off a lot.

When she gets startled not only does she yell and shout, she also starts screaming at whatever has startled her. The way this typically goes is:

Object: Beep!

MiL: Augh!

MiL: Fucking bitch! Fuck!

MiL: Why did you have to do that you fucking bitch? Piece of shit. FUCK!

The yelling was also frequently accompanied by stomping feet and slamming doors, because this woman is a 75-year-old toddler.

If she is yelling because she scared herself (by dropping something that made a loud noise) the yelling will go on longer and will be more intense and self-loathing. That's why tiny bastard is MUCH more scared of stepladders than stopwatches (so we have two stepladders - my little plastic stepladder that lives on the wall of the kitchen and does not scare the dog, and the big folding metal stepladder that has been dubbed "The Puzzles Frightener.")

[im-totally-not-an-alien-2]

Danny had been following...ok, stalking his bio dad for a while now. He didn't have anywhere to go after Amity blew up and Clockwork just came out of no where almost a week after the initial incident to pretty much say, "Hey! You're adopted! Also you're a clone baby! This is the name and main alias of your parent and here's how you get to your home dimension!" Then he was gone.

Ancients.

Again, its not like he had anywhere to go and he had nothing better to do. So following around his fourteen year old father (his original?) and his scary bat mentor around a gross crime filled city at night seemed better than nothing. It felt kinda wierd calling him dad in his head but at the same time he didn't want to call him anything else. His inner Jazz said it might be his subconscious grasping for any safe or familial connections it can find, but whatever. He'll call him dad. Who will ever know?

He knows Clockwork told him not to interfere with any of the battles here. He was only ever meant to be a fly on the wall (actually he wasn't even supposed to be here but the old stopwatch couldn't really stop him) but it was so frustrating to see this Red Hood guy appear one day and start hurting his dad and not being able to do anything without exposing himself.

But nothing prepared him for the new Robin.

He hated the new Robin. He had everything Danny ever wanted and he chose to treat his family like that? The anger he felt towards RH was nothing compared to what he felt towards the new little bird. Damian would look around whenever he was alone, likely feeling they eyes on him from Phantoms intense glare. Good. He wanted the kid to know he was unwelcome.

Danny may have died at eight and become a superhero, but that didn't mean he couldn't hate another child vigilante if he was given enough reason to. Danny stopped aging after the explosion that ruined his afterlife and his inner Jazz had a lot of theories about that but in reality he knew why.

He had been waiting.

He knew the bats were mortal and one day Batman would be too old to fight and Robin -now Red Robin- would need a protégé of his own, right? Then he'd pop in and reveal himself as Tim Drakes long lost clone son and everything would be perfect.

Damian didn't just put a wrench in those plans. He ruined them entirely! If Batman is replaced by Damian than Red Robin will likely always be a sidekick.

And sidekicks don't need sidekicks of thier own.

So Phantom made it his afterlifes mission to make Damians stay in Gotham as miserable as possible to make him leave. He would make sure Damian would go back to whereever he came from at the first available opportunity, even if he had to possess the whole city to do it.

----

Danny took cover with some other kids in a nearby clothing store. The riddler was one of Batmans common rogues and was dangerous. He and the others watched in horror as a third party, likely a gang of some kind that didn't appreciate a hero battle on thier turf, stupidly fired a freaking rocket launcher at the two of them. The projectile missed the mark by a large margin and hit a nearby business tower, sending rubble and debris down of the two fighters. Riddler was quickly pinned while Batman eventually got pinned after a few really cool evasive maneuvers. Red Robin went to assist while Robin went to fight the gang members. A lucky shot from one of the gang members got RR in the leg, sending him down momentarily.

Danny managed to rally the other kids to help dig Batman and Riddler out from where they were trapped by stealing a bunch of black hoodies for them to wear and ripping up a black shirt for them to wear as blindfolds. They could see out of them just fine, but it would hide thier identities from all parties.

Together they rescued the pair and Danny silently rejoiced at helping Red Robin limp away and treat his wound at a safer location. As much as he wanted to let this interaction last, he knew he had to bouce once RR started asking him questions.

Phantom later looked at himself in the reflection of a piece of building material. He had been told before that a ghosts appearance could change based on significant events in thier afterlives. Seeing his former symbol on his chest had disappeared and the smooth crisp edges of the black blindfold that had materialized on his face he knew what had happened. And he knew he would do anything to be with his father again.

His efforts to get rid of Damian intensified.

[garbinge]

Tasteless

Richie Jeremovich x F!Reader Carmy Berzatto & F!Reader (Platonic) From these August Prompts:  “Tasteless" Word Count: 2.7k Warnings: Cursing, Angst, Kissing.

The Bear Taglist: @drabbles-mc @justreblogginfics @quixscentsposts @dadbodfanatic-x @adorable-punk-superheroes @lodeddiperrodrick @isalver @captainweasleybarnes @musicwithteeth Other fics from this universe

“Do you remember the first time we met?” The question was one sentence in the flow of conversation as you got out of Richie’s car to walk into the restaurant together. 

It had been weeks now of doing whatever you and Richie were doing. There wasn’t any label on it, no discussion of exclusivity, but you spent a lot of nights over there consecutively staying over and on the nights you didn’t, he stayed with you. You were having fun, whatever that meant. Honestly it was the first time in a while that your relationship–or person you were intimate with wasn’t an issue or causing an issue in your life. And not only that but it was providing you with genuine fun and happiness. Richie was a good time, not only in that way but in the way that he was honest with you, you felt safe with him, not only because you knew he’d protect you or stand up for you but because he never lied to you, you never had to wonder or worry what was going on with him. There was a million more things that made your time with Richie enjoyable and you honestly spent a lot of time thinking about it because, well, it made you happy. Your mind got brought back to the conversation when he spoke. 

“I remember when Carmy brought home some hyper enthusiastic friend.” He teased you as he placed a piece of paper in his mouth before grabbing his jacket to put on over his beef baseball tee. 

You rolled your eyes and grabbed the paper out of his mouth. “My brainstorming is not meant to be treated this way.” 

He adjusted his collar and closed his car door, placing the key in the handle to lock it before catching up with you. 

“I think the first time we met you told me to go fuck myself.” Richie tried to recollect back on the memory. 

“I did, because you were making fun of Carmy.” You nodded in agreeance and grabbed his coffee from him taking a large sip 

��I always made fun of Carmy. And give that back, don’t you have your own?” He reached over and grabbed the cup back from you causing a little to spill and just miss the paper full of all the blends of coffee you were thinking to experiment with. 

“And I always told you to go fuck yourself. Just like now, be careful! These are precious precious ideas!” You handed him back the coffee to protect the paper. 

“You wrote them on the back of a takeout flyer in my bed at 1AM because you couldn’t sleep.” Richie knew you were excited but he grounded you from getting ahead of yourself. 

“Oh yea by the way, happy hour at Elina’s this Thursday.” You flipped the paper over to show him as you walked by the side of the partially renovated restaurant to see Tina in the window cleaning it and offered a quick wave that Richie matched. 

As you both strolled into the restaurant and made your way to the kitchen you saw Carmy moving around the floor that had green tape on it and Gary holding a stopwatch. 

“Morning, fam.” You called out and shrugged your jacket off immediately. 

“OooOoOoOo” Gary called out seeing you and Richie walk in together. 

All you did was shake your head and push him slightly as you approached him, also in a way to tell him to move over so you could sit next to him on the old kitchen workspace. 

“What are we doing?”  You asked, letting your legs dangle back and forth. 

“Mapping out the kitchen for efficiency. Need to do this all in 5 seconds.” Carmy was running his hand through his hair before taking his sweater off. 

“What are we at?” Richie looked over at Gary and you looked over his shoulder at his stopwatch. 

“7 seconds.” Gary said, raising his brows. 

“You’re fucked.” Richie said while you simultaneously offered encouragement. “You can do it.” 

Carmy stared at the both of you while you both stared at each other. 

“I gotta take a fuckin’ break.” Carmy said, shaking his head and moving out to the front. 

“Carm!” You called out and jumped down to follow him through the saloon door. 

“Hm?” He asked and turned around. 

“I’ve got a list of potential blends, and honestly could use a second pair of eyes, like a good pair of eyes, that knows flavor combinations, and I know you’re busy with this and the menu and the whole restaurant so like if you’re busy that’s fine, you know?” It was a long winded statement and you were tripping over your words. When you had told Carmy about how instead of a coffee shop you were going to create your own coffee brand, his reaction surprised you. It brought you back to high school when you two would talk about your dreams and plans. He was happy. Supportive even. You remember him saying it was a great idea. 

“No, yes, let’s do that.” His attitude changed immediately. “Uh, is it tastings or?” 

“No, just want to pick your brain, honestly I could text you the list and you could just send me your thoughts when you can?” You wanted to be aware of his time and the fact that he was weeks to opening. 

“No, we should sit down and talk about it. You’re my best friend, you’ve been here helping me, I wanna help you, especially figuring out the best blends, you know. Um, tonight? We can stay late here and chat through stuff, we could even try some things if you want.” 

“Yea, alright. See you tonight.” You smiled and turned back to the kitchen where everyone was. “Thanks, Carm.” You turned around with your hand on the door to thank your best friend who was pulling his phone out of his pocket and just nodded with a smile. 

__________

The rest of the day was spent doing odd and end things for the renovation, there was a break where you took the L home to grab a couple things for your plans with Carmy later which is what led you here now. You still had some time before you figured Carmy would be back so you were sitting with Sugar, Richie, Fak, and Sydney discussing the options you had laid out. 

“I don’t know anything about coffee.” Fak said as he swirled around the one blend you had brewed in Sugar’s office as a taster. It was the idea you were excited the most about, you were nicknaming it the Chicago blend. It was the best regular coffee bean you could get your hands on, nothing added just a great fresh coffee bean and you aerated it, twice. It was you playing on The Chicago Bean and ‘The Windy City.” 

Fak took a sip, “I wish it had vanilla.”

“Fak, I love you, but pass the jar to someone else.” You said in a soft tone because you knew how Fak enjoyed his coffee, with enough sugar and vanilla flavored creamer to give a kid a sugar headache. 

Fak handed it over to Sydney who sniffed it and raised her eyebrows impressed by the simple smell and then took a small swig. 

“That’s light. With a smell like that I wasn’t expecting it to be light.” She said and tossed her head side to side. 

“I know, it’s so light that it’s almost tasteless, it needs something. I just don’t know what.” You watched as she passed it to Richie who didn’t hesitate to drink a big chug of it. 

“This is fuckin’ good and strong without having me think I’m drinking something that’s gonna shoot me to the moon.” He was ecstatic in how he was talking. It made you smile. 

“I’m not gonna try it but it smells good.” Sugar had the jar in her hand and was wafting it. “Maybe it’s fine the way it is?” She said tilting her smile up with a shrug. 

“It’ll come to me in time.” You reached your hand out and grabbed the jar back from her. 

“You got a name for it yet?” Syd stood up and asked you. 

“Carmy said something earlier that stuck with me and I don’t even think he realized it.” You said gathering up your stuff, too. 

You thought back to just earlier today when you two made plans. “You’re my best friend, you’ve been here helping me, I wanna help you, especially figuring out the best blends, you know.”

“So I’ve been stuck on the name Coffee Garden right, playing on Chicago’s whole “City in a garden” nickname, this place, it just raised me you know, it’s home. It felt right. But I think I’m gonna add Best Blends to the coffee grinds. Play on best friends, because you know you want the flavors to mix well together.” You explained your logic. 

Syd had a smile on her face understanding where Carmy shone through in your ideating. Now actually, that you were looking around everyone did. 

“Aright, alright, fuck all of you, let’s get back to whatever the fuck we were doing.” You brushed them all off and moved out to the front. 

At some point arguing had started between the group of you, more Sugar and Richie while you and Sydney just added in your two scents when needed and served more as mediators than anything else. 

Carmy’s voice alerted you when he asked what was going on and that’s when you saw her. Claire. You had known Carmy was going to see her again, it was inevitable, it was also a little hypocritical of you to be mad. You knew it was too much to balance, but yet here you were throwing more on his plate with your own stuff, but you couldn’t help but think that that was different. Maybe there was a little best friend privilege there and you knew there was also way more transparency. You knew Sydney needed him for things and you’d never even think of taking him away from that, tonight was the perfect example, you were going to tell Sydney to take as much time as she needed with Carm before you took your own time with him because you knew there was a lot still to be decided on. But with Claire, you knew he wasn’t telling her shit and she was going to be collateral, and while you weren’t sure who was going to pick up her broken pieces, you knew who was going to be picking up Carmy’s. 

Now Carmy was in the mix of yelling as everyone greeted Claire. Sugar first with a hug, followed by Sydney introducing herself while Richie whispered in Carmy’s ear before giving the girl his normal italian greeting all while you just stood there, staring at Carmy in hopes he would read your mind. 

Obviously that was no dice, so you smiled at Claire and moved forward to hug her. 

“Hey Claire.” Your arm moved around her for a brief few seconds as she raised an octave to greet you back. 

As you pulled out of the hug you noticed Richie was trying to make his point about the whole entire reason everyone was arguing and you went to step in until you heard Carmy. 

“Everybody, thank you for today. It was a great day. Go home. Goodnight.” 

You and Sydney practically made the same face. Syd’s was more laughable, her face had a smile on it as she accepted what was happening, her eyes rolled and she was pretty quick to grab her things and leave. Which left you standing there, a little in disbelief as you processed your best friend's words as Richie continued to argue with Carmy. 

“Richie.” You said cutting him off while staring off in a direction before zoning back in and placing your hand on his abdomen, “come on, let’s go.” 

You felt both Claire and Carmy’s eyes fall to your hand that was resting on Richie and then back up to the two of you.

Richie looked down at you and frowned, at first it was because he was frustrated you cut him off but then he saw your face. Your incredibly sad face. That made his own soften and his hand reached out for your shoulder as he instantly realized what was going on. 

“Alright, yea.” He shook his head yes as you both disconnected and you grabbed your things and started to make your way out the front door. 

“Goodnight.” You were barely able to speak up, but knew you couldn’t be in that room with Carmy without a burst of frustration tears coming out so you opted to step out while Richie grabbed his coat, said his goodbyes and was shortly behind you. 

Richie was lighting a cigarette up the minute he was outside and lightly jogged so he was caught up to you as you walked to his car. 

“I’m telling you that kid, he’s so fuckin’ annoying, I’m tryin’ my best here, right? They need amperage and I went to get amperage, but no one appreciates me, I’m tryna fuckin’ help, be proactive, but it’s what was I thinkin’, I think I’m the only one thinkin’!” He kept going on and on and you let him as your own thoughts bounced around in your head. You two were now getting into his car, letting the engine warm up while Richie kept shit talking. 

“And what happened to silverware with Syd and blends with you? Yelling at all of us to get out, like he didn’t just fuck you both over, and me, because he always fucks me over, it doesn’t matter that I’ve been here longer than anyone and know shit about shit, but still no one is showing anyone any fuckin’ respect.” 

“Richie.” You spoke quietly to get his attention, him mentioning what he noticed about you and Carmy grounded you back into reality. It was so different to have someone who noticed that shit and paid attention to how you were feeling. No one had done that before. Sure Carmy and you had years of history where he’d notice things were up and you’d check in but these last years really had none of that. 

Ironically, Richie hadn’t heard you so you said his name a couple more times until he stopped and looked over at you. 

“Thank you.” You said looking at him, straight into his blue eyes. 

There was probably more you could say, more to what you felt but there wasn’t anymore emotional capacity in your brain left to express it so for now, thank you would have to do. 

Richie’s brows slightly frowned as he shook his head. “I don’t know what you’re thankin’ me for, sweetheart.” 

“Just, everything. Thank you.” You tried to explain but after that sentence Richie didn’t need anymore detail, he nodded and opted to lean in and plant a kiss on your lips instead of saying anything else. His hand cupped your face to bring it closer to his as you both leaned over the middle console of his car. His breath tasted like coffee and cigarettes and strangely enough you loved it. 

As he pulled out of the kiss, he left his forehead to rest on yours, “you’re welcome.” 

It made you chuckle and as you did he planted one more peck to your lips before moving to put the car in drive. 

“C’mon, you can get your coffee lab running at my place and I’ll taste whatever you need me to.” He began to head towards his place putting the radio on low to drown out the silence in the car. “And for the record, that shit wasn’t tasteless, I think it just needs something minorly sweet like air rated vanilla or some shit to balance out the lightness.” 

Your head snapped to him, he might have mispronounced the process but he was right. 

“Fuckin’ Fak.” Your voice slipped back to its normal self thinking back to when everyone was in the kitchen. 

You both let out a small laugh. Richie raised his eyebrows and let out the same sentence as you. 

 “Fuckin’ Fak.”

[theresattrpgforthat]

Do you have any recommendations for solo TTRPGs about time travelling or being in time loops? Thank you, and happy gaming!

Theme: Solo Time Travel.

Hello friend, I have a good number of games for you to choose from, as well as a few games at the end of this that I’ve talked about previously, or that I think are somewhat relevant.

Dos Milennia, by ell0.

In another reality, the world ended in 2020 and a time machine called Dos Millennia was created to travel to the past. You find yourself holding this device.

Playable as a solo game or as a supplement to another game where you (or a game master) wish to implement time travel to the past.

Judging by what I can get from the comments on the store page, this game can be used alongside something that you read, although it looks like it can also be combined with another ttrpg of your choice. Since it’s only 24 words long, it should be pretty simple to pick up and use.

Revisionist Historian Training Module I, by Amida Bosatsu.

This is a solo journaling TTRPG about being empowered to travel to your past to make changes. The premise is that you are a new employee of Ret-Chron, a company that employs time travel to revise history. Your first training session involves an event in your past. It is assumed that altering an event you know well, in a familiar surrounding will be a good way to ease you into the profession.

I really really like the premise of this game. You use a pair of d4s to determine how successful you are at doing something (Caltrop Core), and provides a series of prompt questions to help you build up the moment in your character’s past that you would like to change. Your character won’t arrive exactly at that event, but rather a few hours before it happens - and so you’ll have time to try and change it.

I think you could potentially experience a good amount of character bleed when you play this game, especially if you replicate an event that’s actually happened in your real life. That might be something that draws you to this game, or something to keep in mind if you pick it up. The rules definitely work for whatever setting you like, so your imagination can fill in a lot of the blanks here.

You own this game if you picked up the Solo But Not Alone 3 bundle!

Out of Time, by GinGal Games.

In this Solo Journaling TTRPG, you are a person out of time who can travel anywhere along the timeline. As you travel you will encounter people and feel large and small emotions. This journal is the record of your travels. 

Out of Time casts you as a member of a super-secret organization, employed with a stopwatch that will allow you to transport yourself to a different moment 15 times. Your role is observation, not intervention - although I think the game is designed to try and tempt you into intervening. You journal while pulling cards from a deck and rolling a d4 to determine when the moments happen, with words attached to the value of the card that you drew. The game itself feels like you can make it rather personal, so if you want to entwine your character with the timeline, you might be interested in this game.

Timeshapers, by Beth & Angel Make Games.

You’ve found a Timeshaper: an object able to change your perception of time. You don’t know how to control it yet, though; each time you touch it, it randomly affects your perception of time. Embrace your new relationship with time.

This is meant to be a game that works for both a group of people or a single person. For a group of people, I think it works best for folks who prefer largely free-form role-play; for a solo player, you could use it by itself, or add Timeshapers to another solo game in order to complicate things, especially if you’re interested in horror or sci-fi genres. The rules themselves are rather simple; it’s basically a roll table with different ways time might affect your character.

Dead Ends, by kay w.

I see it in the rearview mirror. I see it in the middle of the road. It knows. It could kill me right now. It's killed me a hundred times already. If I can just make it for long enough, then I can find the exit. I don't have to be this person forever.

DEAD ENDS is a solo tabletop roleplaying game about a road trip that never ends. In it, you play someone hunted by the Shape, looping again and again through the same four Stretches of the highway. Something you did brought you here, and now there is only one option: keep driving and hope there's an escape.

This is a game where a time loop is one of the fundamental ingredients for horror. It uses a deck of cards to determine the reason why your character is stuck in a time loop, as well as an oracle to determine more about your experience, your memories, and more. I think this game is something worth checking out if you like games that are meant to make your character suffer - if you’re a fan of Wretched & Alone games, you might also like this, even if it doesn’t work exactly the same way.

You Can’t F☆ck with the Timeline, by Lady Tabletop.

You're a traveler and all you can do is watch.

A thought-game for one player.

This is a solo game that you can pretty much play anywhere, about a time traveler who cannot change the timeline; only witness it. It allows you to game-ify people-watching, coming up with answers to questions and creating stories in your head. It can last for as long as you need to wait somewhere, or while you’re on a commute. The game is also short enough that you could probably copy it out onto a small card, and keep it with you as you travel.

A Moment Too Late, by toribee.

Guide a tortoise through the annals of history. However, due to the inherent slowness characteristic of a tortoise, you always arrive just after the major historical events have unfolded. Each time you draw a card, it represents a historical event described with vague and sensory details.

Your task is to interpret these scenes through the eyes of the tortoise, often leading to whimsical and humorous misinterpretations due to its limited understanding of human culture and history.

As you journey through different eras, from ancient battles to key moments of technological innovation, you'll document your adventures in a journal, creating a narrative that blends historical curiosity with the charming perspective of a tortoise.

This is a really funky twist on playing with time, that uses a deck of cards to bring you (and a tortoise) through big historical moments. It looks like you can use this game to play either a specific romp through history (with hints towards what event is going on) or allow the “clues” to keep you and your turtle equally befuddled. If you like cute animals and games that don’t feel too rushed, this might be a game for you.

Other Solo Games In The Ballpark…

The Diner Out of Time, by Mystic Mushroom Press.

Project Ecco, by Elliot Davis.

You can also check out my Time Travel and Solo Games recommendation posts for more!

[ask-the-digital-wonderland]

𝔻𝕀𝔾𝕀𝕋𝔸𝕃 𝕎𝕆ℕ𝔻𝔼ℝ𝕃𝔸ℕ𝔻 𝔸𝕌

‼️ IMPORTANT INFORMATION HERE! PLEASE READ!‼️

╚═*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*═╝

♡ 𝕋ℍ𝔼 𝕊𝕋𝕆ℝ𝕐 ♡

The Digital Wonderland is a world that is not like our own. It's a place of boundless opportunities, vibrant hues, and joy unlike any other. Once upon a time, the people of this home enjoyed spending their leisurely time together, in peace.

That is, until a profound darkness descended upon the region, leaving the people to become more and more corrupt as a result. The Eyes of Wonder observed them all as they turned against one another and fought, shedding blood.

There was no hope.

One day, elsewhere, a woman finds a hole near a large tree.

And falls right through.

☆ 𝕋ℍ𝔼 ℂℍ𝔸ℝ𝔸ℂ𝕋𝔼ℝ𝕊 ☆

ℙ𝕆𝕄ℕ𝕀 - (𝕋ℍ𝔼 𝕄𝕐𝕊𝕋𝔼ℝ𝕀𝕆𝕌𝕊 𝔽𝔸𝕃𝕃𝔼ℕ 𝔾𝕀ℝ𝕃) : A terrified girl who tumbled through a hole into Wonderland. Pomni is completely focused on figuring out how to return home, even though she is completely forgetful of her name and past life. Locating The Eyes Of Wonder is the first step toward escaping.

ℝ𝔸𝔾𝔸𝕋ℍ𝔸 - (𝕋ℍ𝔼 𝔹𝕃𝕆𝕆𝕄𝕀ℕ𝔾 𝔻𝕆𝕃𝕃) : A fair living doll of a maiden. Despite having no memory of her creator, Ragatha has chosen to dwell in their mansion and tend to the withering flowers that accompany it. She's a major people-pleaser, if not overly compassionate for her own good. She doesn't react too well to those who want to touch the flowers.

𝕁𝔸𝕏 - (𝕋ℍ𝔼 𝕃𝔸𝕋𝔼 ℍ𝔸ℝ𝔼) : A good for nothing, snake-tongued thief. Jax enjoys taking gems from the wealthiest people he can con to support himself, while attempting to beat his own stopwatch records. If he isn't stealing, he's flirting with common ladies. It's best not to get in his way when the clock is ticking.

𝕂𝕀ℕ𝔾𝔼ℝ - (𝕂𝕀ℕ𝔾 𝕆𝔽 ℂℍ𝔼ℂ𝕂𝕄𝔸𝕋𝔼𝕊) : A weird monarch of the Kingdom Of Games. Kinger has an iron grip that he uses to dominate and keep an eye on his subjects. On the outside, he appears so lost yet calm, although nobody is aware of his activities behind closed doors. It's best not to find out what's there.

𝔾𝔸ℕ𝔾𝕃𝔼 - (𝕋ℍ𝔼 𝔽𝔸ℂ𝔼 𝔼𝔸𝕋𝔼ℝ) : A torn woman with a broken face. Gangle spends most of her days within a cave. She will devour anyone she doesn't deem worth her time, or traumatizes them with her horrifying faces. It's best to make her smile. Quickly.

ℤ𝕆𝕆𝔹𝕃𝔼 - (𝕋ℍ𝔼 𝕊ℍ𝔸ℙ𝔼𝕃𝕐 𝔽𝔼𝕀ℕ𝔻) : A freakish prisoner now run-away. They don't care about the state of the world, but they at least don't want to be disturbed by anyone living in it. If someone tries to drag them back to the Kingdom of Games, they have no problem tearing them apart. It's best to look the other way.

╚═*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*═╝

-POST SHORTCUT LINKS-

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[byhees]

that smile on your face.

엔하이픈 재윤 ・ female reader + word count 600 genre fluff high school au potential enemies2lovers warnings not proof-read nicknames mention of ‘god’, word implying ‘stupid’ — more

a/n. requested!

“why out of all, he picks you?” a grumble falls from your lips, and you heave a sigh, intentionally dragging out the sound, making it sound more dramatised than usual.

jake simply walks into the tiny storage room, and picks up a discarded plastic box. “you do the stopwatches, i’ll get the cones,” he utters, before walking towards the dust-coated mess of multi-coloured plastic cones.

clicking your tongue, you drag yourself to the metal rack, eyes set on the flimsy cardboard box on the top shelf, its side having a large ‘stopwatch’ writing scribbled across— must be the ‘thing’ mr. kim was referring to.

standing in front of the towering rack, your gaze shifts upwards, as though ‘setting your eyes on the prize’. extending an arm towards the top shelf, you find yourself scrunching your nose at the aimless flailing of your right limb.

your fingertips graze the metal edge, them being so tantalisingly close, yet frustratingly out of reach. brows digging into your skin, you withdraw your hand. damn, did you shrink or something? or did they switch out the old rack?

you shift your body, taking a glimpse at the room. doesn’t seem like they’d keep stepladders in here. and, no— of course asking jake is not an option, you’d rather scarf down a sock than ask for his help.

a scoff slips out your mouth, and you resort to the next best thing— balancing.

gripping onto the rack, you step onto the first shelf, its low position giving you an advantage; whilst balancing precariously atop the ‘stepping block’, a voice happens to call out. “knew you were short, didn’t know you were this much of a numbskull,” jake chimes from behind you, his footsteps becoming eminently louder.

the moment the shuffling of his shoes against the ground stops, a resigned sigh falls from behind.

as you tug tighter on the edge of the metal shelf, knuckles turning whiter by the second, he begrudgingly mutters, “i’ll do it.” your eyes widen in surprise, and before you’re able to say anything in protest, jake directs you to step aside, making it visibly clear that he’d handle it.

stepping in front of the metal rack, his long limbs reach upwards, fingers deftly gripping the edges of the box, poising to retrieve it effortlessly.

“god, you’re so short, you’d have to go on your tippy toes to kiss me,” jake singsongs beside you, the rattling of objects mimicking the hammering of your heart.

what did he just say?? kiss him?

your head does an immediate snap towards his direction, eyes flickering from the sly smile prancing on his lips, to the crease of his eyes, clearly suppressing the urge to burst into laughter.

jake takes a mere glance at your face, before succumbing to a soft chuckle, hands still in the midst of grabbing the little circular devices. “that should be thirty,” he adds, counting the stopwatches in the plastic box.

you simply resort to a gape, mind still scrambling to grasp pieces of reality. you probably misheard him; there’s absolutely no way— zero chances— that he’d say such a revolting thing. him? and you? kissing? disgusting.

“c’mon shorty, don’t wanna keep mr. kim waiting,” he cooes, and you can hear the curve of his lips, the teasing grin plastered all over his face.

clearing your throat, you adopt a brisk walk, grimacing at how he’d been holding the door open for you, a smug smile glued on his lips.

taglist open! @halcyoni-ki @wondipity @yjjungwon @shysakuno @niktwazny303 @crxzs @g4m3girl @minhosify @haechansbbg @yeomha @stepout-09-15 @chansburgah @sp22sworld networks! @kflixnet @enhanet

[stupid-starkid-headcannons]

Paul matthews has four brothers. Every single one of them is somehow connected to a lord in black based off a weird system I made in my mind to explain this very large OC family tree I've made.

He has one older brother who is dead named Richard Lipschitz, who Richie took his name after. (That's why Richie lives with Paul, both his parents died and Paul was the only brother old enough to be his guardian.) This oldest brother was offered up to Wiggog Y'wrath because he was the first son and he had first dibs.

Paul of course was promised to Pokotho by his parents, and because he was simply exposed to so much music and theatre as a child he learned to hate it which is why he hates musicals. He was only 20 years old and barely in college when he had to adopt Richie and quit school to get a job at CCRP to support him.

Now I'm going to write about Paul's younger brothers in order of age.

Starting with Gary Goldstein (I refuse to let this headcanon drop. They are estranged brothers. That OR the clone theory but Shhh.) Gary is connected to Bliklotep and struggles with paranoia from being able to see better than other people which is why he wear glasses that aren't his prescription, he wants to worsen his vision. Because of his paranoia and anxiety he struggled with shaking hands for years and was never able to get the degree in optometry he wanted and so he settled on law and poured his heart into it.

Timothy Baker, Timothy is connect to T'noy Keraxis and is an electronics maker deep in the heart of Hatchetfield (specialist in clock of course.) He's never late, alaays exactly on time. He has one child named Daniel (also known as Stopwatch) and despite his failing business him and Daniel live well from Daniel's battles at the old roller rink.

Finally we have Nathan Finn, the youngest at 28 years old who is the chosen of Nibblenephim. He killed his own (pregnant) wife once she found out she had cheated on him and then ate her. He's been a cannibal for years and owns most of the nice restaurants in town, even co-owns Pasquali's with another man. He's very successful and almost always has a smile on his face to present to a customer. He has no children and generally avoids people under the age of 18 because he finds them incredibly annoying.

All five brothers have matching tattoos of the pentagram depicted on the black book that they were forcibly given as children. Their parents were original members of The Church of the Starry Children.

Anyways, that was my yapathon, thanks for tuning in.

this is awesome

[i-guess-im-into-this-now]

The Apothecary Diaries

S1E18 First Watch

Here's where I watch The Apothecary Diaries for the first time and give my thoughts, analysis, predictions, and occasionally I stumble into a joke.

To start at the beginning:

Episode 1

My character/locations cheat sheet

Suiren - Jinshi's attendant

Lakan - master strategist

Pairin - one of the princesses at Verdigris House

Luomen - Maomao's physician father

Meimei: one of the princesses of Verdigris House

Suirei: court lady who doesn't like Maomao

Woah. Okay so that's a loaded exchange.

Jinshi: How does one decrease the value of a courtesan? Maomao: In the case of pregnancy, it would reduce it to nearly zero.

There are 7 seconds of silence in this show after that. Yes, I used a stopwatch to time it. That is a freaking insane pause.

Jinshi makes a move to... I don't know exactly, reach out maybe? Reassure Maomao that he's not planning on doing this? I'm not sure. There is a shit ton of subtext to this conversation, that I'm not sure I have completely figured out but I will try.

Jinshi is the more obviously bothered by this statement, by a lot. Maomao is just observing to see how Jinshi responds to it. Essentially what she says is that a man could rape a courtesan and impregnant her to bring her value down, to ruin her. It would bring her value so low that anyone could afford to buy out her contract at that point. Jinshi has not provided any context to why he asked this question, and Maomao is studying him closely to see what he does with the information. I don't believe she thinks he would do this personally to a courtesan, or she wouldn't have told him. But as it appears, they've arrived at a brothel where Jinshi stopped her before going inside to ask this very fucked up question. She has to at least examine the possibility that she is wrong about Jinshi. And I think he passes her scrutiny, but not without damage done. She's disappointed that he is planning on going into this brothel, and that he asked such a depraved question. It hits particularly hard, because just prior to this they were having a nice moment where she opened up about her father. Now she is likely backtracking, either wondering why she bothered, or scolding herself for behaving inappropriately.

As for Jinshi in this scene, he hasn't revealed why he wants the answer to this particular question so badly. But boy does he want it. He let himself and Maomao fall into Lakan's trap just so that Lakan would tell him the answer. But Lakan didn't answer. Instead Jinshi asks Maomao, knowing that the question is inappropriate. He risks damaging the regard between the two of them so that he can get this answer. He's risking widening the rift between them. But why? What use is this answer to Jinshi? Does this have to do with the story Lakan told? Is he concerned about what may have happened to a courtesan in the past? To Maomao's mother? Is there a courtesan in the present that Jinshi is concerned about? Who can say.

In any case, Jinshi can see the damage that asking it has caused. He tries, I think, to backtrack, but it's too late. Maomao is retreating from him. She wants to flee, this conversation hurts for reasons she doesn't want to examine. Thank god Jinshi is emotionally intuitive. He can't let her walk away like this. The rift between them is too large, there is no telling if it could even be fixed if she leaves now. Jinshi grabs her arm.

Jinshi: You're leaving me now?

Maomao explains that her presence would compromise whatever plans he has in the restaurant. And Jinshi has to agree that makes sense, even if he can't put into thoughts or words why his heart is breaking right now.

Jinshi's critical error in this moment is that he is trying to keep Maomao out of what he's up to. He wants to protect her from whatever he's involved in, yet doing so is harmful too. He never tells her why he is visiting this place. He never explains why he asked the question. She is left to fill in the blanks with her own assumptions, with devastating results. In his effort to protect Maomao, Jinshi has harmed her. Jinshi cares for Maomao, but he hasn't learned to fully trust or respect her. And there will never be a relationship without trust. He's still got a lot of work to do before a real relationship can happen.

Maomao: It's fine. I didn't show any emotion when I spoke.

Maomao!!!

Her heart is breaking here too. I'm only surprised she is willing to admit it to herself. Perhaps the anguish of this moment has become too great to deny? For as sad as this scene is, that Maomao is aware and acknowledging her emotions is a major breakthrough! I suspect she's in for some painful moments now that she has to feel her pain, but you can't heal what you don't feel. She's on a path of healing now! Yay!

Oh my god, she even turned around to watch him walk into the building. So good Maomao. You're doing great girl!

Maomao: I truly hope you enjoy your evening good sir.

Maomao you dirty little liar!

Okay so maybe we only get to see a tiny step forward for Maomao, but a tiny step is still progress! I'm just so happy to see anything that pokes past the impasse that Jinshi and Maomao have been stuck at for ages.

The fuck kind of nightmare was that?! No wonder Maomao doesn't like to feel her emotions if she gets horrible flashbacks. Was she the baby in that scene? It looked like someone who was horribly injured tried to kill a baby. Apparently they couldn't go through with it. Was this Maomao's courtesan mother? Was she burned or scarred in someway? Perhaps to bring down her value? Or was the baby the product of rape? Was she trying to get rid of the baby to allow her to what? Return to being a courtesan? Seems unlikely with the injuries. Because she hates how the baby was conceived? Because the baby reminds her of the man who did this to her? Maybe to kill the baby so it couldn't be abused by someone else? Maybe because the woman in the scene was planning to kill herself after killing the baby?

Maomao looks at her hand, then thinks about the conversation she had with Jinshi yesterday. She then says of the nightmare that she brought it up. So there is a connection between the conversation and the nightmare. I'm guessing that what Jinshi asked about is exactly what happened to Maomao's mother, which triggered her memory. Why look at her hand? Does this have anything to do with her bandaged arm? Does the neglect or abuse of her mother have something to do with Maomao's low self-worth and the reason she is willing to self harm for her experiments? Or is she looking at her hand just to ground herself in reality, to try to fight back the traumatic memories?

After being awoken by her nightmare, Maomao is comforted by the familiar sight and routine of her father working in the apothecary. He asks her to take a package to Verdigris House.

This is maybe as good a time as any to ponder if Maomao's connection with Verdigris House is greater than that of an apothecary. I mean clearly it is, she considers the people here to be her family. But could she have had blood family that lived here as well? Was her mother one of the courtesans? I think that has been hinted at fairly strongly now.

Maomao is welcomed back with open arms. I'm so glad too see it. When was the last time someone gave Maomao a hug? Was it the last time she was here at the brothel?

Pairin is being harassed by granny to make a choice on something, and Maomao uses the opportunity to sneak away.

Pairin: Is she going to the annex?

I fricking hope so! I've been waiting for this!

Okay, so the annex is part of Verdigris House. And it looks identical to the room in Maomao's nightmare. So this must be where Maomao's mother lived. Perhaps where she died. And Maomao lived here, at least as an infant. How did she end up with Luomen?

Oh shit! Her mother is still alive?! But in a terrible state. She has some terrible illness. And it's not confirmed that this is her mother, but isn't it implied? Either way, Maomao used to be chased out of here by this angry person though it seems she no longer has the energy.

And hold on, I remember a scene from the last time Maomao was in the Verdigris House where granny asked her to tend to what I thought was just an ill courtesan, but perhaps it was this person in the annex.

Maomao's mother patient seems to be in the end stages of her illness. She no longer has energy to even speak. Luomen's once effective treatments don't offer relief, and there is nothing more that can be done. Though she may have been dealing with her decline for a long time Maomao will soon have to deal with the death of her mother. This may not be a healthy relationship, but there will still be grief. We grieve for people even when it's complicated. We also grieve what could have been, what never was. And there is never a good time to lose someone, but certainly some times are worse than others. Much of Maomao's life is uncertain right now, and she just took an emotional blow from her interaction with Jinshi, causing her to dip into the emotions she tries to avoid, now this on top of it. When it rains, it pours.

There is a troublesome customer visiting the Verdigris House. Meimei has been tasked to meet him. How foreboding. It couldn't be Lakan could it? His history with courtesans makes me ill.

Okay so maybe this lady isn't Maomao's mother, maybe she is. Maomao explains that the woman has syphilis. At least Verdigris House takes care of their own. I love that. Luomen may have been able to do something for this woman if he had arrived to serve the brothel during an earlier stage of the illness. There is a flashback here, where we get a glimpse of young Maomao in the brothel. No one trusted the eunuch doctor from no where, even if he could have done something. After contracting syphilis, the lady had to go on serving customers until the sores spread over her whole body, and she was locked up in the annex.

The woman tried to hum a tune, but is unable to to speak. I wonder if Maomao recognizes it.

Little girl: Big sis wanted you to know that the weirdo with the monocle is here, so you should avoid going out there for awhile.

Oh no! It is Lakan! Why is this little girl telling Maomao specifically so she can avoid him? Does he have a history with Maomao at the brothel? I'm trying to recall all of the things that Lakan said about the courtesan he used to visit at Verdigris House. That he could beat her at shogi, but not go. That she never sold herself but that she had an arrogant expression... I mean, I could be looking into it too much, but that... could be Maomao? Did she work as a courtesan here before? Is this why Jinshi is so determined to find out how someone might have reduced the price of a courtesan?! Did he know she used to work here? Does he worry that something terrible has happened to Maomao here? DID IT! Oh my god! It would explain so much about her fear of working as a courtesan, and her trauma. What the fuck happened in this brothel?! And who all knows about it! I demand answers!

I'm going to pull it back a little bit, and return to an earlier theory that Lakan is actually Maomao's biological father. He may have a history with Maomao at the brothel but that may be as a man who was somewhat interested in the daughter he fathered. Understandably, Maomao wants nothing to do with him. We learn here that Maomao knows who Lakan is though. Thank god they didn't run into each other in the palace. Can she really go on avoiding him? He can follow her in the palace or in the Pleasure District.

Maomao refers to Lakan as a long time customer of the Verdigris House, an old acquaintance, but that if she just stays put in the annex, she won't run into him. Okay, but tell me why you don't want to run into him....

Maomao has had a rough day. She's still reeling from her conversation with Jinshi and now she has been trapped all day in the annex with a woman who maybe hates her, so that she can avoid Lakan. She's had nothing to do but think about all the really painful emotions that she usually stays busy to avoid. Meimei finds Maomao hiding out in the annex, and lets her know that Lakan has left. Apparently he has brough up an offer for Maomao?! Maomao hates it, and so do I!

Maomao worries that if she didn't have her job that the madam of Verdigris House would have sold her off to Lakan by now. She thinks that Lakan's interest is the main reason that the madam wants her to become a courtesan. So Lakan is a major contributing factor to why Maomao is so fiercely opposed to being a courtesan. Her terror takes on a new shade of meaning now. If only we knew what has transpired between Maomao and Lakan in the past, we could understand.

Meimei has been given offers to leave the brothel, but has as yet turned them all down. She's getting close to retirement age, but isn't ready for that yet. Maomao asks why she doesn't just leave? To Maomao the freedom to choose would be preferrable to any offer that a customer could make. Maomao thinks that Meimei is holding out for love. Perhaps she is in love with someone already, and is waiting for an offer from that person.

Maomao: Maybe it's love. But if that's the case. It's not a rabbit hole I want to delve into. That's an emotion I'm sure I left behind. Back in the womb of the woman who birthed me.

Nearly every example of romantic love that Maomao has is heartbreaking. She's seen heartbreak after heartbreak in the brothel, with courtesans having promises made to them, and then broken. We don't know the story of her parents, but if her mother is the dying woman in the annex, or if she has died already, then then there is heartbreak in her story as well. Even the concubines in the palace don't have the love of the emperor, instead they merely battle for his attention and favor. The sole example she has seen is that of the concubine who was able to escape the Rear Palace when her military beau was able to secure her release.

Maomao is not open to the idea of love, in fact it is something she tries to avoid, disdains even. This view of love is one of the reasons we have seen her repeatedly shut down any tender emotion she's had, and why she is so willing to read any other explanation when love is directed at herself. And she tells us here, that it stems from her parents. How is she ever going to trust someone enough to love them and be loved in return?

And what a way to talk about one's own mother. "The woman who birthed me." So there is a story there. It sounds like one of abandonment, neglect or abuse, as we've already guessed.

The princesses want to pamper Maomao, and she adores the attention. This girl is so touch starved. I wondered about Maomao's need for physical touch, way back in episode 2 when Jinshi touched Maomao's hair and breathed on her neck. He did it in an effort to try to seduce her, but her reaction was interesting. She didn't get disgusted or freaked out as she did with his flirting. She just kind of let it happen. Now we see it with the courtesans that she considers family. Meimei is scrubbing Maomao's back and she is relaxed and smiling. The courtesans love Maomao so much, I wish she could have this kind of affection all the time.

Hard transition to Jinshi. A man who maybe has never had a hug in his life, except for the back hug he stole from Maomao when he was drunk. He's regretting that his date went so terribly, he didn't mean to give the impression to Maomao that he was trying to hook up with someone. He tells us that it definitely wasn't what he traveled there for, which is really unnecessary. No one who has been watching this show believed he was. I would like for him to tell us what he was up to though.

Maomao has retuned to Jinshi's residence, and Jinshi steels himself to face her. He's embarrassed and knows he's once again put space between them, when all he wants to do is find a way to get closer. Plus, it looks like he's carrying that jug of... beverage that Lakan left. He presents it as a present from a weirdo. Their conversation lacks all of the usual banter, and is perfectly polite, which for these two is a disaster. Jinshi watches her walk away. He's not sure where to even begin to repair this. He's frustrated. Maomao is doing her best to pretend like Jinshi already left. Gaoshun is there listening closely. Suiren is there watching Maomao and wondering what has changed, but knows it's some bullshit because she says:

Suiren: For goodness' sake.

Yeah Suiren. I feel that in my bones. But when I say it there is usually an F bomb in there somewhere.

Maomao is having very complicated feelings about having seen her mother the woman in the annex. It's distracting her from her work. It seems bad, but it's a good sign that Maomao is starting to face her emotions and try to process them, rather than avoid them.

Suiren thinks Maomao's distraction has to do with the master of the residence so she decides it's time to say something. Suiren realizes that hints and subtly don't work so well for Maomao when it comes to herself. She needs very blunt advice, which Suiren provides.

Suiren encourages Maomao to ask Jinshi for some space for her apothecary supplies.

Suiren: You may appear apathetic, but you're keen. You know where you stand, and how to play the game.

Yes! Call her on her bullshit Suiren!

Suiren: Because somebody was born noble doesn't inherently make them any different from you or me.

She's telling Maomao to quit looking at Jinshi as some lofty official, see him as a person.

Suiren: If you view everything in terms of status, then you'll miss opportunities.

Thank you Suiren! Internalize that Maomao. Put it in your head and keep it there.

Maomao has an errand to run at the court pharmacy, and she's delighted. She'll sparkling here. If only Maomao could be employed here.

The odd court lady that smacked Maomao in the head a few episodes back has arrived. Maomao figures that this lady works in the guard house and handles herbs in her job, which is why she had a bitter smell earlier, here I thought she was on drugs. Maomao ponders why the lady dislikes her so much, when they've had so little interaction.

A little casual classism for flavor. The pharmacist bemoans that the court lady is required to come pick up drugs herself. Then realizes he said it in front of Maomao and tries to back track. It's not okay work for a court lady, but fine for servant. That comment right on the heals of Suiren's much better advice about class.

Maomao discovers that the item she was sent to pick up was potato flour and wonders why Jinshi needs it. She pieces together a few things about Jinshi's actions. She suspects his actions are part of a purification ceremony that would be used to perform ceremonial rights. Something a nobleman might do. Something that would be strange for a eunuch to do. I'm tired of this theme. Moving on.

Gaoshun and Jinshi are trying to piece together the mystery of Luomen, but Jinshi can't stop thinking about how things are so distant and confused between himself and Maomao, right now. And just to make sure Jinshi never gets a moments peace, Lakan arrives.

Lakan is in the same house where Maomao is right now, and on the one hand I'm hoping they don't run into each other for Maomao's well being, but on the other hand, let's get this plot moving along. It's time to throw Maomao to the wolves.

Question: why does Lakan bring his own beverage whenever he visits? Is he afraid of being poisoned?

Jinshi isn't even bothering to hide how irritated he is at this visit. That's telling. And maybe a mistake. Or maybe intentional.

Jinshi: It seems to me, that you had engaged in some dirty trickery. Lakan: How very rude. That's rich to hear from a thief like yourself.

Gasp! Jinshi a thief?! Go on!

Oh no! Lakan really was trying to get Maomao. He spent a decade trying to get Maomao? Maomao who is what? All of 17 or 18 here? Has he been trying to get Maomao out of the brothel since she was a child? With good intentions or bad ones? Lakan feels he's been made a fool. He tell Jinshi he's upset with him over this.

Jinshi is worried, pissed, and oh so intent.

Jinshi: So do you want your prize returned?

I'm fairly certain that Jinshi wouldn't do that, and is just moving the conversation to find out Lakan's intentions.

Lakan: Not quite. I will pay whatever it is you ask.

That's... a hell of a look from Jinshi. So intense! Jinshi fucking hates this guy.

Jinshi: And if I refuse?

Lakan: Well then, I suppose there is nothing I can do is there.

Which is a threat to wreck Jinshi's life! It's a declaration of war. Holy shit!

Lakan: How many people could defy a man of your rank? I could count every single one of them on one hand.

The imperial family maybe? Yup that's it. Jinshi knows that Lakan knows his true identity.

Oh my god. Lakan knows everything!

Lakan: I'm just concerned you know. About what my daughter would think.

He's threatening to expose the truth about Jinshi, and hits him where it hurts the most: Maomao. Jinshi was worried that Maomao may be this man's daughter, and Lakan just confirmed as much.

Jinshi is tense. Hands balled into fists, posture wary, as Lakan asks to meet Maomao. This asshole has been following Maomao. First at the brothel and now to Jinshi's residence.

Everyone one of Lakan's moves were so well played, and Jinshi... is trapped. He once again has to make a choice between the obligations of his station and his own personal desires. He can give this official what he is asking for and go on business as usual, after all what is one servant over another? It would be an easy decision for someone else other than Jinshi, if it were about someone else, other than Maomao.

Jinshi looks deep in thought when he comes upon Maomao while the sun is setting. Is something ending here?

Jinshi addresses Maomao as "apothecary." It's respectful in that it acknowledges her for her skills, she may even like being called this, but it's another sign of the distance between the two. I don't know the last time he called her by her name.

Jinshi seems very nervous to bring this up to Maomao. You can hear the tension in his voice. Unusual for Jinshi, when he is usually bold and shameless when interacting with Maomao. It's a sign of just how precarious things are between the two right now. Also, a sign of just how divided Jinshi is about even bringing this suggestion to Maomao.

Jinshi: There's... an official who wants to meet you sometime soon. ... It's...that weirdo I've been telling you about. His name's... Lakan.

A pause. Then a fricking jump scare of Maomao's intense glare! This glare isn't giving Jinshi chills in the fun way. She looks legit scary. It reminds me of a frightened animal that has been backed into a corner and has no choice left but to fight. Lakan is a line she will not cross. An absolute boundary. With one look she declares that there is nothing she won't do to avoid that meeting.

Jinshi: I'll find a way to let him down gently.

Jinshi, Jinshi, Jinshi.... what the hell are you going to do? If you can't convince Maomao to see Lakan, and you won't force her to do it, then your other choice is to go to war with Lakan.

Jinshi: I've never seen her make a face like that. I never want to see it again. Ever.

I hope he means that as I'm going to do everything I can to keep her protect her from Lakan. I hope this is a turning point for Jinshi, where he chooses Maomao in a real way. I hope he won't waver again on this, allowing Lakan room to maneuver Maomao and himself.

Maomao is distressed that Lakan has found her again. She goes to collect medicinal herbs. A familiar and comforting activity.

She is approached by Suirei who cares for the herb garden near the military officers' part of the palace. Maomao questions what Suirei is growing here and Suirei claims she planting a medicine for resurrection?

Maomao has a VERY strong reaction to that. Who has died in Maomao's life that she is that desperate to get back? A family member? Someone she loved? A patient she couldn't save?

Suirei claims to be joking. What a strange lady. Are we absolutely sure she's not on drugs? The music is unsettling in this scene and so is Suirei. She asks how good of an apothecary Maomao is then tells her she's going to plant morning glories here. I happen to know that those are poisonous! Is Suirei hoping to make a poison? Will she try to get Maomao to do it?

The sun is setting over the palace and the music is ominous. Is something serious about to happen in the next episode?

To start at the beginning: Episode 1

Next Episode:

Episode 19

[simdertalia]

Honey Set

20 items | Sims 4, Base game compatible Set contains: -3 Honeycombs | 1 swatch each | converted from WoW -Honey Spill | 1 swatch | converted from WoW -3 Honey Pots (with lid, without lid, stacked, and the lid separated) | 1 swatch each | converted from WoW -Honey Jars (large and small) | 1 swatch each | BGC mesh edits of a Cottage Living debug item -Honey Salve (single & stacked) | 2 swatches each | converted from WoW -Honey Body Butter (single & stacked) | 1 swatch each | converted from WoW -Honey Sign | 4 swatches (1 blank for recolors) | EA mesh edit from Get To Work -Stopwatch | 1 swatch | converted from WoW Maya the Bee Doll Deco (standing & sitting) | 4 swatches each | converted from Maya The Bee: Flight Challenge -Beehive Deco | 1 swatch | converted from WoW -Bee Box | 10 swatches | BGC deco from Cottage Living Type “honey set” into the search query in build mode to find quickly. You can always find items like this, just begin typing the title and it will appear.

💗 Anyone here via SimFinds, please see THIS POST

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[munson-blurbs]

Hello my dearest! I’ve got a fluffy request for you! Maybe the reader always wanted either a puppy or a kitten their whole life but never had one, and Eddie surprises them with one on Christmas morning?

I love you! 💚 - @corroded-hellfire

Did someone say cheesy Christmas fluff overload? Because that's what we got.

Warnings: none

WC: 1.1k

Divider credit to @firefly-graphics

When you wake up on Christmas morning, you instinctively turn over to snuggle in closer to your boyfriend, frowning when you’re greeted with an empty side of the bed. Eddie rarely got up earlier than you did when he had a day off. The only explanation you could fathom was that he got hungry, so you head to the kitchen to sneak up behind him with some mistletoe. He’s not there, either, but there is a note:

Merry Christmas, gorgeous! Be home in 30 minutes with a surprise. Love, Eddie

You roll your eyes and smile. The note was thoughtful, but he hadn’t bothered to mention what time he left. He could’ve written the note five minutes ago or twenty-nine minutes ago. You decide to pour yourself a bowl of cereal and milk, munching on Cheerios while you wait.

When you and Eddie started dating nearly four years ago, he had no idea how to celebrate Christmas. His own parents barely acknowledged the holidays; Eddie confessed that one year, he only knew it was Christmas because all the kids came to school with their new toys from Santa. When he went to live with Wayne as a pre-teen, the man tried his best to spread holiday cheer, but money was always too tight. He’d get Eddie something he needed: new socks, school supplies; one year, when Wayne got a small raise and Eddie’s sneakers were practically falling apart, he got him a new pair from the Payless clearance section. During your first Christmas together, you’d gotten Eddie a new denim jacket he’d been eyeing at the mall. When he fished it out of the bag, he looked excited but confused. 

“Babe, this is really nice,” Eddie had said, “but I already have a jacket.”

“Yeah, but you were practically drooling over this one in the store,” you’d replied, frowning at his reaction. “Do…do you not like it?”

“I love it!” He’d reassured you with a kiss to your cheek. “Just don’t want you spending money on stuff I want if I don’t really need it.”

“Eddie,” your face fell as you reached for his hand. “It’s Christmas. That’s what Christmas is about–making your loved ones happy.” At your sweet words, Eddie had picked you up into a hug, spun you around, and kissed you deeply.

You glance under the tree now, noting the crisply-wrapped gift awaiting your boyfriend. His wristwatch had broken a few weeks ago; the thing was ancient and on its last legs for a while. The new one you’d purchased had a stopwatch and an alarm, and you knew he would freak out in the best way.

You place your empty bowl in the sink, heart leaping when you hear the click of the key in the lock. Your smile only widens when Eddie walks through the door, clutching a large box in his hands.

“Hi, baby.” His hair is messy and his cheeks are rosy from the winter wind. “I hope you’re ready for your present.”

“Already?” you laugh. “I thought we normally open our gifts after dinner.” That’s how you’d always done it: celebrating Christmas with your family, Wayne in tow, and then exchanging your presents to each other before going to bed.

Eddie looks down at his full hands. “I think you’re gonna want this one now,” he says with a sheepish grin. As you get closer to him, you notice that there are holes lining the sides of your gift, and you’re fairly certain you can see something moving inside. And was that a bark?

“You didn’t!” you exclaim excitedly, opening the top carefully. A puppy with scruffy brown fur pokes its head out, tail wagging a mile a minute. “You did!” You gently lift him from the box and hold him to your chest. His tiny sharp teeth nibble on your fingers, but you’re too happy to notice. “Eddie, he’s so little and cute and perfect!”

“The people at the shelter called him Gary,” he tells you, “but they said you can change it if you want.”

You lift the puppy higher, inspecting him. “Nah, he definitely looks like a Gary to me,” you conclude, kissing his fuzzy ears and giggling as he licks your nose.

“Damn, dude,” Eddie pouts, peering at Gary, “you’ve been here for two minutes and you’re already stealing all my girl’s attention!”

“Poor baby,” you tease. “Don’t worry, we have plenty of love for the world’s most handsome dog dad!” You bring Gary to Eddie’s cheek, and the two of you pepper it with endless kisses. Once you pull away, Eddie clears his throat and starts to speak.

“There’s, um, one more surprise,” he stammers. “Did you look at Gary’s collar?”

You peer down and audibly gasp. Hanging next to his tags is a sparkling diamond ring, dainty and delicate, just like you’ve always wanted. 

Eddie’s trembling fingers unhook the ring, and you watch through misty eyes as he bends on one knee. “Do you remember telling me that Christmas is about bringing happiness to the people you love?” He pauses, only resuming when you nod. “Sweetheart, you make me happy every damn day. I smile like an idiot just knowing we belong to each other, that we found each other, that we love each other. And I want that for the rest of our lives. Will you marry me?”

You’re so stunned that you forget to speak for a moment. It’s only when he takes your hand in his that your trance breaks. “Yes, Eddie! Of course I’ll marry you!” He slides the ring on your finger triumphantly, enveloping you and Gary in a bear hug.

“Did you hear that, Gary?” you ask as Eddie wipes the tears from your cheeks, “Mommy and Daddy are gonna get married!” Your eyes widen as you turn to your now-fiancé. “Babe, can he be the ring bearer?”

Eddie smiles and scratches under Gary’s chin. “D’you think you’re up for the challenge, little guy?” Gary’s response is to chomp down on Eddie’s finger, and you burst out laughing.

“He does not appreciate you questioning his ring-bearing abilities,” you chastise playfully, smushing your face against the dog’s. “Isn’t that right?”

Eddie rolls his eyes but can’t hide his joy at your love for your gifts. “I should’ve known you two would team up against me.” He pulls you closer and presses his lips to the top of your head. “You’re lucky you’re both so damn cute.”

[timetrek24]

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[ask-the-cyclone]

*Places a large box full of glitter and a launcher. The box is closed, and has a note saying ‘Do NOT open.’*

Oh I’d love to see how long this takes *sets a stopwatch*

What? Who puts a box with a “Do NOT open” sign on it in the middle of a room?

Someone who knows you

MISCHA!

[Well, I don’t know about you, but I’d love to know what’s inside]

I would too, but the note-

It says don’t open. So I says, probably don’t open it

Huh?

Never mind

*crosses her arms and turns away* well I’m not opening it

Me neither… I’m not afraid of creepy crawlers like spiders, but who knows what’s in there

SPIDERS? Um well… I will go stand over by Noel now…

Well Rick, it’s just you and me

[We got this Connie]

*puts hands on the flaps of the box* 1…

*does the same* [2…]

*is squeezing her eyes tight, hiding behind Penny*

*pure look of suspense and horror*

*hiding in Noel’s shoulder*

*look of absolute amusement*

THREE! *glitter flies everywhere*

Wow! That is much better than spiders, yo

*twirls around in the glitter* great surprise!

*checks the stopwatch* wow! 36 seconds! That’s a new record, but to be fair it wasn’t Ocean this time

Okay that was so uncalled for

(Sorry this one’s a long one, old sports)

[zipzapzopzoop]

There's a Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow

Chapter 34: Paging Mr. Morrow

(Warning, this chapter deals with dark themes such as experimentation. As always, take care and read at your own risk)

Cornelius nervously gave himself one last look over before stepping into the Boss’s office. “Yes, sir. You asked to see me?”

The large gentleman looked up from his work, dark eyes settling on Cornelius. He squinted thoughtfully and stood up, desk chair creaking.

Cornelius silently tensed up when the Boss approached him. He had forgotten just how tall he was. The man loomed over him and held out a massive paw to shake.”

“I’m sorry, are you a new hire? I don’t believe we’ve met. Mister…”

“Morrow.”

“Morrow…?”

“Mister Tom Morrow.”

He put on his best entrepreneur smile, took the gentleman’s hand and gave it a firm shake. Years in business had taught Cornelius much.

“Please pardon me, I had been recently hired, but in all the chaos I hadn’t found the time to properly introduce myself. Is it always this busy?”

The Boss was slightly taken aback, but seemed pleasantly surprised at the ‘new hire.’ He chuckled. “Well I shall hope so! With such a breakthrough I shall hope for more exciting things to come! You should see we just had another one brought in a few hours ago. I was about to go take a look at him, why don’t you come with?”

“I’d love to! Lead the way,” Cornelius responded with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. He hoped the Boss didn’t notice his face go pale. They caught someone? Who?

Cornelius didn’t catch anything the Boss was saying, loosely letting himself be guided to the elevator. He noticed the larger man scan a key card on the elevator. It made sense the ‘subjects’ were kept under special access. Didn’t make it any less upsetting, though.

------------

Gaston gasped as he was pulled from the frigid water, coughing and sputtering and trying to get precious air back in his lungs.

The stopwatch ticked in the scientist’s hand.

“Three minutes and seven seconds. He held for nearly six and a half minutes in lukewarm water. Remarkable times for each test.”

Gaston was pulled from the icy pool. As soon as he was on solid ground, he collapsed on his side, still coughing and hacking to clear his lungs. His wide eyes darted around and his fingers twitched, trying to get feeling back in them.

Cornelius couldn’t believe what he was seeing. The sight of his brother-in-law on the ground, half drowned and clawing at the air made him sick. 

“Quite an incredible specimen, isn’t he? The strongest and most resilient we’ve had,” the Boss chuckled. His eyes carried an awe to them. It reminded Cornelius of the way he himself looked whenever one of his inventions was successful. Only here it looked… wrong. Everything was all wrong. This was wrong.

A wave of shivers wracked Gaston’s body and he curled into himself. Now that he was beginning to breathe alright, he was trying to warm himself. Glooming hatred burned from his eyes as he looked up at the scientist with the stopwatch. She was jotting down results on a clipboard and discussing it with another scientist. 

Cornelius felt anger unlike anything he had ever felt before.

This was his family. His brother-in-law. This man who had played with him and teased him and watched him grow up. He had gone to every one of Cornelius’s talks and presentations, just like the rest of his family. And these people saw him as nothing more than a science experiment. 

His hand twitched. Anger told him to give the Boss a good clock in the face. 

But…

Self control told him otherwise.

You can’t. You’ll give  yourself away. You’d be trapped and nobody would be able to get them out. Besides… That man is twice your size. He’d have you down in the blink of an eye.

Cornelius took a deep breath and calmed himself, unclenching his fist. He forced himself to look away from Gaston, and up at the Boss instead.

“I’m sorry, I’ve lost track of the time and must head back to my station. I was doing some work and don’t want to leave it unattended.”

“Of course. You’re dismissed, Mr. Morrow,” the Boss sent him on his way. “Thank you, sir.” Cornelius nodded and hurried out as quickly as he could without running.

“Mister Tom Morrow…” The Boss puffed his cigarette in thought and went back to watching over the experiments.

------------

Catch the chapter on my Archive!

[ereardon]

As It Was [Chapter 4][Hangman x Reader]

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Reader

Summary: When Jake Seresin calls to tell you he’s accepted a permanent position at Top Gun, you’re elated to finally be living in the same city as your best friend. But everything changes when Jake tells you his news — he has a new girlfriend, and he’s serious about her. And while you want to like her, for Jake’s sake, something about her feels wrong. Jake's arrival in San Diego also puts you in the direct path of Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw, who has set his sights on you despite being Jake’s sworn enemy. Every move Rooster makes, Jake intercepts. What game are these two playing, and why is Jake more concerned about you moving on with Rooster than he is about his own relationship? 

WC: 5K

Warnings: Cursing, alcohol, no use of y/n, violence, smut, Greek life, mention of vomit

Series masterlist here

The night you met Jake Seresin, you were dressed in a fuzzy cow costume. 

It was hell week for the sorority, and that night’s test was to crash a fraternity formal in animal costumes, steal a date, and meet back at the old bell tower on campus. You had drawn sticks from a cup that designated the costume, which ranged from sexy cheetah to oversized elephant. You had pulled the cow costume which included a hood, as well as bright pink rubber udders on the front. 

“I’m going to throw up,” you said, turning to the girl next to you. She had on a monkey costume — headband with ears, large furry suspender pants, ugly brown t-shirt. 

She looked you up and down. “Not in the costume, they’ll never get that out even at the dry cleaners.” 

Paulina, the chapter’s president, stood in front of the group, tiny pink dress pulled taut across her washboard abs. “Alright girls, time to pair off and find your partner. Remember, nobody gets on the arc without stealing a date. Freshers count, but bonus points for upperclassmen. You have twenty minutes.” She sunk a fresh manicured finger onto an old school stopwatch, the kind your gym coach from elementary school would have, and the rest of the girls bolted ahead toward the stately door of the SigEp house. Their ferocity and intensity scared you, and you jogged through the open door after them. 

Everywhere you looked, there were girls in animal costumes chatting up available men. You wandered through the rooms of the house, but every guy you spotted was snapped up instantly. The minutes ticked by in seconds, and you felt a sweat breaking out on your neck under the hood. 

Meandering to the back of the house, you opened a door to the back porch, stepped out under the glow of the single security light, and unzipped the top half of the costume, exposing the sports bra you had on underneath to the cool night air. 

“I think that’s cheating.” You whipped around, coming face to face with a blond in a blue blazer and slacks, an untapped keg at his feet. 

“What?”

“You’re supposed to convince someone to go with you while you’re still wearing the costume. It’s cheating if you show how hot you are underneath it.” 

You smirked. “If by hot you mean sweaty, then you’re right.” 

He shook his head. “Nope, just hot. Plain and simple.” 

You eyed the keg at his feet. “So you’re the fraternity waterboy?” 

“Ouch, sweetheart, that hurts,” he said, putting one tanned hand to his chest. “I’m a pledge. Gotta do my share of the work. Tonight, that means keg duty.” 

In the distance there were screeches and you saw couples flocking out of the house, running toward the bell tower. Your watch said you had eight minutes to spare. “OK waterboy. What will it take to get you to run away with me tonight? I can offer you instant ramen, a nearly empty coffee cart gift card, or one hour of chemistry tutoring. Yours for the choosing.” 

He flashed you a pearly white smile while leaning against the railing. “Darlin’, you don’t have to offer me a damn thing. I’d run away with you anyday.” 

You rolled your eyes and zipped the costume back up, reaching out and grabbing his hand. “Hurry up or we’re going to get cut,” you said. “Last ones have to clean the house tomorrow.” 

“Well we can’t have that can we?” he asked, threading his fingers into yours and pulling you down the back stairs. “I’m Jake, by the way.” 

“Abby,” you replied, smiling. 

“OK, Abby, can you run in that costume?” 

You shrugged. “Time to find out.” 

Jake tugged you along toward the bell tower. When you tripped over a curb, he leaned down and grabbed you. “You don’t know anything about me,” he said, “but I’m more than a little competitive. So don’t wimp out on me now.” 

You laughed and let him drag you to the finish line, with two minutes to spare. Four other couples came in after you, and three more after the buzzer ran out. Jake high fived you once Paulina’s alarm went off, signaling the challenge time was up, and let out a whoop. You laughed and saw him eyeing you. 

“What?” you asked as the rest of the couples started to split off. You unzipped the costume again, this time stopping right above your chest. “Is it the costume? It’s stupid, I know.” 

He shook his head. “It’s not that. I’m just thinking how lucky I am that you picked me, of all people.” 

“Being a waterboy has its perks.” 

Jake laughed and stepped closer, brushing a chunk of hair behind your ear. It felt different than the buzz that had radiated up your arm when he had touched your hand earlier. This felt intentional. “I’ll see you around, Abby.” 

And then he dropped his hand and walked away, throwing one last glance over his shoulder. You caught his green eyes and smiled, and he grinned back before disappearing into the early morning mist. 

***

“I literally do not know where he gets off being so high and mighty.” You sighed and tossed one arm over your eyes. Phoenix tutted her tongue, setting down a bottle of wine and plate of cheese on the coffee table and sitting down next to you on the couch. 

“Have you met Seresin?” she asked. “That’s literally his personality.”

“That might be Hangman,” you said. “But it’s not Jake. He’s never been that way with me before. This is a whole new side of him, and I don’t like it.” 

“I think you’ve seen a side of him that none of us have seen before,” she replied thoughtfully. “To us, he’s a jackass. To you, he’s your best friend. There has to be some redeeming quality deep down that we just haven’t seen but that you know about.” 

You nodded. “When he’s good, he’s perfect. Jake is the person who has been there for me for everything. Every break up. Every bad test score. When I wanted to leave big pharma and go into academia he was the only one cheering me on.” You looked up at Phoenix and shook your head. “I thought having him back here would be great. But all it’s done is drive us further apart.” 

“Can I ask you something?” 

“Of course.” 

“What about Rooster?” she asked. “What are you doing with him?”

You shrugged. “Bradley? He’s great. We’re having a really nice time.” 

Phoenix leaned over and pinched a piece of cheese between her thumb and index finger. “Brad is one of my best friends. I just don’t want to see him get hurt.”

You reached out and laid your hand on her knee. “I promise, that is not my intention. I like him a lot. I’m just not trying to rush anything.” 

“So you’re not just using him to make Jake jealous?”

“Oh my God, no! I genuinely like him, Phoenix.”

She smiled and popped the cheese into her mouth, swallowing before starting her next sentence. “He deserves someone good.” 

You leaned back into the couch cushion. “So what’s this beef between him and Jake? Or is nobody going to ever tell me.” 

Phoenix shook her head. “All I know is they had a mission together before the Uranium plant where I met Hangman. And by the time we got there, they were already on the outs. Brad’s never gone into full details.”

You sighed and bit into a grape. “I’ve known Jake to have people he doesn’t like before. But this? This is a new level. I’ve never seen him so agitated by someone before.” 

“I don’t think it’s just Rooster that’s got him hot under the collar.” 

“What do you mean?” 

She gave you a devilish grin. “You’re kidding, right?”

“Kidding about what?” 

“It’s pretty obvious there’s a part of him that’s in love with you.” 

You laughed and waved your hand in the air. “No. Absolutely not. I can see why you say that, but no.” 

“Come on,” she said, leaning forward and draining her wine glass with a quick tip back into her mouth. “The way he looks at you?” 

“You know, Bradley said the same thing on our first date. Something about seeing the way Jake looks at me.” 

“Because it’s so obvious. He doesn’t even try to hide it.” 

You shook your head. “There’s a fine line between friendship and love. We’ve just hovered on the end of the friendship spectrum for so long that maybe it looks like something it’s not to an outside viewer.” 

Phoenix ran one hand through her silky brown hair. “There’s something there, even if you don’t see it. I’ve known Hangman for a while now. And I’ve never seen him talk about anyone the way he talks about you.” 

“What about Diana?” you asked. 

She laughed. “What about her? Who is she even? I don’t buy that for one second. He shows up out of the blue with this wallflower. Jake Seresin, really?”

“They’re living together.”

Her mouth dropped open. “Shut up.” 

“I’m dead serious.” 

Phoenix was quiet for a moment. Then, “I still don’t buy it.” 

You laughed and reached for the half empty wine bottle. “What’s there to buy? He told me himself. I went over there. I saw how they were. They’re sweet with each other.” 

Phoenix looked up, her brown eyes smoothing over yours. “Mark my words. It won’t last.” 

***

You pulled your phone out of the top drawer of your desk after your last lab of the day and sighed. Five missed calls from Jake. Two voicemails. You clicked the first one. 

“Abs it’s me. I’m sorry. Honey, I am so sorry. I was drunk and I was an ass, and there’s just a lot of history there with Bradshaw that you don’t know about. I promise, I wasn’t trying to hurt you. Please call me back? I’m sorry.” 

You sighed and pressed the second message. 

“I think this is the longest we’ve ever gone without talking. Even when I stood you up winter formal sophomore year, you still had dinner with me at Branford the next night. Remember? Anyway, Diana is out of town this weekend visiting family. Can I have you over for dinner? I promise I’ll be on my best behavior. If you want to, you can bring him. I miss you, Bubs. More than you even realize. Love you. Call me back.” 

Leaning back in your desk chair, you sighed and slid the phone over to the edge of the desk. There was a stack of lab reports a hundred high on the desk, along with scantrons for the midterm exam. You had a journal research article due at the end of the month and had only started the abstract. 

Outside, the sidewalks were teeming with students. Thursday afternoon meant half of them were getting ready to binge drink the night away, while the other half toiled away in the library until the nerd bell kicked them out at two in the morning. You had always been the latter, and Jake had been the former. It’s what made you work as a pair. 

Your phone buzzed and you almost ignored it, but then thought better and flipped it over. Bradley’s name slid across the top and you instantly hit the green button. 

“Hello?”

“Hey there,” his deep voice rang out over the line. You smiled and propped your feet up on the desk, leaning back into the plush chair you had begged the department for. “What are you up to?” 

“Just sitting in my office, thinking about what I’m going to eat when I finally make my way through this stack of grading.” 

“Blow it off and let me take you out.” 

You groaned into the microphone. “Ugh, that sounds amazing. But if I don’t want to get stuck here all weekend I should get a head start on these.” 

“God, baby, don’t moan into the phone like that. Gets me all kinds of bothered.” 

You laughed. “Oh yeah?” 

“Mmhm,” he whispered huskily into the phone. “OK, how about I let you work tonight and tomorrow you let me take you out? How’s that for a compromise?” 

“Is it too early to ask for favors?”

“Ask away.” “Jake called. Well he called about five times. Apparently Diana is out of town this weekend and he wants to have us over for dinner. You and me.” 

You could hear the surprise threaded through Rooster’s voice. “Both of us?”

“I know, I’m surprised too.”

“But you want to go,” he said. 

“I’m not sure.” 

“Abby,” Bradley pressed. “You want to go. You wouldn’t have brought it up otherwise.” 

You were quiet on the other end. Pondering. He wasn’t wrong and you hated that. As poorly as Jake had acted, you missed him, too. He was not just part of your routine. He was an extension of yourself. “I know he’s an ass,” you said and Bradley huffed. “But he’s my best friend and I do love him. So maybe I owe him the space to give us an apology.” 

“If you really want to, I’ll go,” he said. “Seresin is not high on my list of favorite people, but you are.” 

You smiled. “God, you’re adorable.” 

“So you’ll be in your office all night tonight?”

“Unfortunately, I think so,” you said, eyeing the stack of papers again. “But I’m all yours tomorrow? I’ll see what day Jake wants to do dinner and will let you know.” 

“OK, baby. I’ll let you get back to work.” 

“Bye,” you whispered. “Bye, hon.” 

You clicked the phone off and sighed, and then pulled up Jake’s contact. 

Bradley is coming to dinner, too. Tomorrow or Saturday? 

He texted back instantly. Either. Your choice. I can’t wait to see you. 

Tomorrow, you replied. 

I’ll see you tomorrow, he wrote back. And then, I miss you, Abs. Not talking to you every day kills me. 

You sighed. I hate that I miss you, too, you wrote and then clicked off the phone and turned it over. 

Darkness blanketed the office and it was hours before you realized just how dark it really was, flicking on a small lamp on the desk before pouring over the last of the Tuesday afternoon session lab reports. 

It was so dark and spooky that you jumped when your office door inched open. 

“Fuck!” you screamed as Bradley’s mustache came into full view. 

“I’m sorry!” he said, throwing his hands in the air. “I wasn’t trying to scare you.” You stood up and crossed the room. “What are you doing here?” You wrapped your arms around his large form, and felt him squeeze you tightly. 

“I’m here to rescue you,” he said matter-of-factly. “Come on, you’ve done enough work for the night. Let’s go have some fun.” 

You smiled and nodded, crossing the room to grab your phone and purse. In the parking lot, you looked up. “My car is here.” 

Bradley pondered it for a moment. “OK. How about you follow me, then?” 

You nodded and he kissed you quickly before hopping in his truck. You pulled out behind him in your coupe, following him on back roads in the darkness. Finally, Bradley pulled into a cute bungalow near the beach and you pulled up next to him, getting out of the car. “So, this is where you live?” 

He stepped up to the front door, painted cherry red, and inserted a worn key. “It’s nothing special, but it’s home.” 

The house was charming, with warped wooden floors and a small kitchen. There were photos lining the walls and you noticed a man who looked incredibly similar to Rooster in many of them. Rooster walked straight into the living room and waved a hand. 

“Make yourself at home,” he said. “I’ll be right back.” 

You dropped your purse next to the couch and went to examine the photos on the walls. A blonde woman with short hair and the mustache guy were in most of them, as well as some of Bradley and his friends over the years. There was one of him and Phoenix in flight suits, and another with the full dagger squad. Even Jake was in the corner of that, surprisingly. 

“I thought you might be hungry.” You whipped around to see Bradley carrying a tray with sandwiches on it, a bag of chips, a big bowl of strawberries, and two beers and water. “Wasn’t sure what you’d want, but this is the best I’ve got.” 

“You’re adorable,” you said, crossing the room and brushing his arm before collapsing on the couch as he set the tray down on the low coffee table. “You have no idea how exhausted I am. Why did I think it was a good idea to be a professor?” 

He smiled and handed you a beer. “I don’t know, but I gotta say it’s insanely sexy.” 

You laughed. “Being a professor is sexy?” 

“Oh yeah. It’s the leveled up version of the schoolteacher fantasy. Are you going to flunk me, Professor Minces?” 

You took a sip of the beer and put it back on the tray before hitching forward, crawling slowly over Bradley until you were eye to eye, his head pressed back against the armrest of the couch. “That depends, Lieutenant Bradshaw. Have you been skipping class?”

He shook his head and grinned. “And miss seeing that ass while you stand in front of the class? No way in hell.” 

You tutted his cheek mockingly, and he grabbed your wrist tightly. “That’s no way to speak to your professor, now is it?” you whispered. 

He moved his grip from your wrist up to your chin. “Kiss me and I’ll make it all worth it, I promise.” 

You leaned forward and pressed your lips tightly to his, Bradley’s arms quickly wrapped around you and he sat up, pulling you onto his lap before standing and carrying you across the living room. He didn’t break the kiss once, not even as he jiggled open the door to the bedroom. It wasn’t until he deposited you on the bed, kicking off his boots, that he let go for a second. 

To your surprise, he reached down and slipped off your heels, placing them gently on the ground next to his discarded boots, before running his hands up your legs, over the material of your work slacks, until he was hovering above you. 

“God, you’re sexy.” 

You reached up and threaded your fingers in his hair. It had been two weeks since you met Bradley but he felt familiar in a way you hadn’t experienced in a long time. There was something magnetic about him. Perhaps it was how easy he let you in. Or how absolutely fucking gorgeous he looked when he was staring into your eyes, his giant hands trailing along your side. 

“Tell me what you want, princess.” 

“Just you,” you said, wrapping your legs around him and pulling his face back to yours. You felt him groan on top of you, dropping down to his forearms, tongue pushing between your lips. 

In a moment, Bradley was everywhere. 

His hands inside your blouse, ripping open the buttons and you heard one fall to the floor but you didn’t care. Not when his hot mouth was on your nipple, a hand yanking down the bra cup to expose you to him. You moaned into his shoulder as he rolled his hips against yours, and even clothed you could feel him, hard and stretched against the tight denim he was wearing. 

Bradley’s hands on your bare thighs as he rolled your pants down achingly slow, taunting you. 

The heat of his skin as he pressed his naked body against yours, your legs wrapped around his torso, his mouth pressed to your neck, your fingers clawing on the back of his muscular back. 

His mouth between your legs, making you cry out his name. 

The way he grinned as he pulled his fingers out of you, licked them feverishly, before leaning over and kissing you tenderly. 

Bradley’s unabashed moan as you nodded and he sunk his cock into you, slowly, filling you to the brim. The way he rocked against you slowly until you were comfortable, and then reached his fingers up around your neck and drove into you repeatedly while you gasped his name. 

“What do you want, kitten?” he gritted, fucking into you, one hand easing up on your throat, the other gripped tightly around one thigh, pressing your leg back so he could push further inside of you. 

“Want you to come inside of me,” you whispered hoarsely. 

Bradley loosened his fingers on your throat by an inch. “Say it again, like you mean it.” 

“Come inside of me, Lieutenant,” you moaned as his other hand moved from your thigh to your clit expertly and you started to crash around him. “Fuck, fuck, please, Bradley. God, yes!”

That tipped him over the edge, and he was sputtering, cursing, moaning as he collapsed on top of you, your hands stroking his back softly. After a minute, he peeled himself away, propping up on one arm. “Holy shit,” he murmured and you laughed, pressing your face into the pillow with a blush. “You OK, sweetheart?” His thumb reached out, grazed your cheek. He could go from sweet to fucking you into the mattress in a second, and then back to sweet in an instant. It would have given you whiplash if it didn’t excite you so much. 

You nodded. “Perfect.” 

He laid back and turned his head to look at you. “Yes, you are.” 

You chuckled and stood up. “Can I use your shower?”

“Only if you let me join you.” 

You took off toward the bathroom you had spotted next door and Bradley chased after you, your laughs echoing through the small hallway of the house. 

In the morning, you woke up to the sun shining brightly through the light curtains of the bedroom. Bradley lay next to you, naked under the pale gray sheet, snoring lightly, his hair curled around the edges. 

He felt different than the men you had been with in the past. As you shrugged on a shirt of his from the closet, a large button down that hung to your knees — he had ripped your shirt from the day before to shreds in his eagerness to take it off of you — you realized why he felt that way. 

Despite their differences, Jake and Bradley had one thing in common. 

They made you feel safe. 

***

Bradley looked at you across the truck consol. “Are you ready?”

You glanced over at him. He had on a blue button down shirt, a pair of jeans and boots. He looked calm, cool, and collected. 

Meanwhile, you felt a pit growing in your stomach. In fourteen years, you had never once iced out Jake the way you had over the last week. It was the longest you had gone without speaking, like he said in his voicemail. But it was also the longest you had ever let yourself be mad at him. 

You took a deep breath. Bradley opened his door, got out and walked around to your side and helped you down from the truck. He gave you a once over, taking in your long sleeve dress with the cinched waist. “You look great,” he whispered, taking your hand. 

“Don’t kill each other, OK?” you begged as you two approached the door. 

He chuckled. 

“I mean it!” you said, swatting his arm. “Or I swear to God.” 

Bradley laughed. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. I’ll match him. If he’s behaved, I will be, too.” 

You grimaced. “God I hope there’s wine.” 

Bradley reached out and knocked on the door, two sharp knocks. The door swung open immediately, revealing Jake standing in a pair of socks, jeans and a crew neck sweater. You hated how good he looked when he was such an ass. 

Normally, you would throw yourself into his arms. It felt unnatural to stand there for even a moment, weighing your decision. 

“Hey Bubs,” he said softly and his voice started to wear away at your icy exterior. He leaned forward for a hug and you leaned in only the top half of your body, catching his cheek and giving him a side kiss. Jake’s fingertips danced lightly over your waist, until you pulled away. He gave you a sad smile. 

“Hey Jake,” you replied, stepping instead and reaching for Bradley’s hand, pulling him in next to you. 

“Hangman,” he said, nodding. 

“Bradshaw.” 

“Thanks for inviting us over.” Bradley was already compensating for your inability to act normal. He looked around at the house. “Nice digs.” 

Jake shrugged and shut the door. “Mostly Diana’s doing. I’ve never been one for interior design.” 

Since you had first come to the house, all of the boxes had been cleared away. Black and white photographs lined the entry wall. You spotted a couch across from two chairs in the living room that you know Jake never would have chosen himself. He was more of a giant sectional type of guy. Something big and plush to watch the game on, fall asleep on, fuck on. He liked things to be multi-purpose. The house barely looked like his. 

“Come in,” he said, leading the way into the living room. “Do you want a drink?” “God, yes,” you breathed and he laughed. 

“What'll it be, darlin’?” 

“White wine is good.” 

He nodded. “Bradshaw, what can I get you?” 

“Bourbon, if you have it.” 

“Done. Make yourselves comfortable, I’ll be right back.” 

You gave Bradley a look before settling on the couch. “This is weird,” you whispered to him. He took a seat next to you. 

“I know, baby.”

“He’s trying, though,” you said. “He hasn’t thrown a punch your way yet.” 

Bradley chuckled. “Permission to punch him back if he does?”

You ran a finger down his face and smiled. “Permission granted, Lieutenant.” 

Jake appeared with the drinks and you downed the wine. “So, how have you been?”

You looked at Bradley. “Fine, busy.” 

Bradley nodded and threaded his fingers through yours. “A little sleep deprived.” 

Jake’s jaw tightened as he took in Bradley’s innuendo and your tight grip on each other, but he simply tossed back his drink — straight bourbon. Bradley did the same and you sighed. It was going to be a long night. 

Later, at dinner, you had two more glasses and started to feel fuzzy. Jake had ordered in food, not willing to take the risk on his cooking skills which were limited to fried eggs and bacon. You watched them carefully. How they spoke to each other. How they stood around each other. There was a familiarity, and a coldness. 

You watched Bradley as he told stories, made conversation. Once, you looked up to see Jake watching you, instead. You caught his eye and instead of turning away or looking down, he simply smiled. The way he was looking at you gave you a pang in your stomach. You turned away instantly, back to Bradley. 

He stretched his hands over his head. “Well, Seresin, thanks for dinner. But we should probably be going. I have a long run planned for tomorrow and Abby here is apparently behind on some grading.” 

“Oh, really?” Jake asked and you nodded. 

“Unfortunately. Midterms. I really should get a TA but sometimes they’re more hassle than they’re worth.” 

You stood up alongside Bradley, and Jake rushed to his feet. “Abs, could you stay? So we can talk?” 

You hesitated, literally standing between Bradley and Jake. Each one giving you a look. Bradley’s was surprise mixed with disdain. Jake’s was hopeful, saturated with pain. “Sure.” 

Bradley tightened next to you. “Can we talk outside for a second first?” he asked gruffly. You nodded and let him pull you down the hallway and out the front door, slamming it a little too hard behind him. Outside, you looked up at him. He was pacing around the porch. “Is this what it’s going to be like?” he asked. 

“What do you mean?” 

“He comes first, is that it?” he demanded. “I’ll always be the B-squad to Seresin in your mind. He asks you to stay, I ask you to go, and you stay.” 

“Bradley,” you said, stepping forward and catching his arms in yours, calming him. Grounding him. “No, that is not it.”

“Then leave with me,” he said. “Let me take you home and make you mine.” He leaned down, breath hot against your ear. “Now that I know what it’s like to be inside of you, I can’t stop thinking about it.” 

A jolt zipped through your body and you looked up at Bradley. He was looking at you so intensely you thought you might melt into a puddle of wax right there on the porch. 

“I won’t be long,” you said and watched as his face fell. “Jake and I, we just have some laundry to air out. I promise, I’ll be back in your bed in no time.” 

He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “Just forget about it, OK?” 

He brushed past you and jogged down the steps. “Bradley!” you shouted. “Baby, please. Don’t take this the wrong way.” 

Bradley looked up and shook his head. “Without even realizing it, you’re choosing him. You two are the same, you know. It’s going to get you in trouble one day.” 

He climbed into the truck and peeled off, and you were left standing on the porch, watching him drive away. 

“Abby.” You whipped around to see Jake standing at the door. 

You walked over and he reached out to cup your cheek with his palm. Looking up at him, you said, “Is he right? Do we choose each other over other people? Are we doomed?” You laughed to hide the pain, but Jake was still. He had shifted so one hand was pressed above your head against the door frame as you leaned back against the white wood. 

“Diana said the same thing to me the other night,” he replied softly. “And the truth is, Bubs. If it came down to it, yes. I’d choose you.” 

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