#lane would LOVE to have someone to talk mommy stuff with

[carewyncromwell]

Just for the record, I still think a friendship between Lane Cromwell and Christine Vigiere would be the most adorable thing ever. 💙💛

ladies and gentlemen,

today i offer you: tips to befriend the ocs of a creator nobody fucking cares

enjoy.

sincerely, your trully 😌

[redheadsinmybed]

Slipping

Little reader, caregiver/little story

Wanda x Natasha x Reader

Summary: Reader hasn’t dropped in a while. What happens when reader finally drops???

Notes: Sorry this took so long, hehe my bad. Hope you enjoy! :)

You hadn’t dropped in a while. Like a few months, you just couldn't seem to get in the mindset no matter how hard you tried. Wanda and Natasha have been worried about you since the second week. Natasha and Wanda had tried everything they could to get you to drop, from calling you ‘baby girl’ to trying to get you to play with Steve,Tony, and Clint when they were little. They even brought you to every kids section in every store they could find. But you just weren’t feeling it.

Currently you were in your room feeling down, wanting so badly to be in your little state, but not being able to.

“Hey baby,” Natasha comes in and sits down on the bed next to you.

“Wanda is in the kitchen baby, you want to go meet her?”

“Yeah, I guess,” You say with no enthusiasm. Natasha gets up and holds her hand out for you. You grab it and make your way to the kitchen where Wanda is waiting for you.

“Hi baby!” Wanda says happily. You smile at her before your attention is drawn to something else. You spot a baby bottle sitting on the counter.

Suddenly your mind goes fuzzy.

“Ma-ma” You say sucking on your thumb.

“Hi baby girl,” Wanda says smiling at Natasha. You make grabby hands at Natasha, and when she doesn’t immediately pick you up you start to cry.

“Baby don’t cry, it’s okay i’ve got you.” Natasha says as she picks you up. Natasha cups your face, using the pad of her thumb she wipes your tears away. You lay your head on her chest as you continue to suck on your thumb. Wanda looks at Natasha puzzled, you usually didn’t suck on your thumb unless you were really sleepy or weren’t feeling okay.

“Baby girl, are you feeling okay,” Wanda asks as she brushes the hair out of your eyes.

“Pe-pe,” You say back shyly. Seconds later Natasha feels wetness on her arm where she is holding you.

“Baby girl?” Natasha says, your cheeks get a rosy red. You hide your head in her chest and whine.

“Okay baby, let’s go get you cleaned up,” Natasha says you don’t lift your head out of your hiding spot. Natasha gives Wanda a worried look. You’ve only ever done that when you were really scared. Wanda calls Pepper, her having been a caregiver way longer than her.

“Hey Pepper it’s Wanda, I need help with something.” Wanda says over the phone while Natasha washes you off.

“Yeah so Y/N finally dropped,” Wanda waits as Pepper speaks to her on the other end.

“Yeah it’s really great, except something is different, she’s not acting like she usually does. She had an accident and has been sucking her thumb, the only words she has said have been ‘Mama’ and ‘pepe’.”

“Oh, really?”

“Okay perfect, thank you so much,” Wanda says hanging up seconds later.

“Okay so Pepper said that Y/N might be in a littler head space than she usually is in because she hasn’t dropped in so long. She said by the way she hasn’t talked much that she’s about 8 months old, or around there.” You just sit there sucking your thumb. You make grabby hands at Natasha wanting her to hold you again.

“So she’s just a baby now?” Natasha asks as she picks you up.

“Yeah, I guess she didn’t say how long it would last, but she guessed it would take a while at least for her to change back into her normal little state.”

“Do you think we should get some supplies? We aren’t really prepared for a baby-baby,” Natasha says.

“Yeah you want to go to the store?” Wanda says.

“Yeah, should we leave her here?” Wanda suggests. looking at you.

“Baby do you want to go with Mama and I or stay here?”

“Ma-ma” You say happily.

“I guess she’s going,” Natasha says. You three make your way down to the car while Wanda makes a list of stuff you’ll need.

“Okay so I have dippers, a pacifier, and baby food. Anything else I'm missing?” Wanda asks.

“No I think that’s good,” Natasha says.

“Baby girl you’re gonna have to have Mama hold you,” Natasha says

“Ma-ma,” Is all you say in response. Natasha hands you over to Wanda and you two get in the back seat. Wanda knows it isn’t safe but she doesn’t want to upset you, so you sit on top of her facing her.

“We’re here baby,” Wanda says.

“Ma-me” You say back wanting to be back in her arms. Natasha picks you up and off from Wanda and into her. Walking up to the store Wanda grabs a cart.

“Okay baby girl, Mommy is going to set you in her okay?” Natasha asks. You look up at her with big eyes when she sets you in the cart. You sit there just staring at her before you deem that it’s okay. You get to look at Mommy and Mama while they shop and roll you around, and you're just fine with that.

Wanda and Natasha wander down some isles looking for the various items they need. They get the diapers and the baby food. You absolutely hate green beans with a passion so they avoided getting that for you.

When you arrived in the baby toys and activities section they stopped so you were right in front of the pacifiers. You take a second to take it all in. There was every color you could ever think of, and some of them had animals on them.

Wanda and Natasha pick out some that they think you might like.

“Hey baby girl look, this one has a koala on it,” Wanda says holding up the koala pacifier so you can see. You pout and look around.

“Bun-bun?” You ask.

“Baby girl Bunny is at home,” Wanda says to you. You stop looking around and your eyes start to fill with tears.

“Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay baby girl. I got her right here.” Natasha says as she takes out your stuffed koala from her bag.

“Bun-bun!” You say happily. Hugging her tightly to your chest.

“I brought it just in case.”

“Aren’t you mother of the day?” Wanda says with a smile.

“Well I just thought she might want it.”

“Well you thought right.” You spot a lime green pacifier as they talk to each other. You make grabby hands at it and whine when you can’t reach it. Natasha and Wanda finally look over. Wanda seeing you trying to grab a green pacifier.

“You like this one baby?” She says as she hands it to you. Your eyes widen instantly.

“I think we found a winner,” Natasha chuckles.

“Are you ready to go home baby?” Wanda asks. Still infatuated with your new pacifier you nod your head.

When you get to the check out lane Wanda has to take the pacifier from you so the check out lady can scan it. Wanda tries to take the pacifier until you yelp at her.

“Baby girl, Mama needs that for a minute, then i'll give it right back okay?” Wanda says as she takes the pacifier out of your hands. Your bottom lip wobbles and you start to cry. You cry and cry, and then finally the screams come. High pitched screams that could make people's ears bleed.

“Wanda. Give. It. Back.” Natasha says with worry and fear.

“Hey baby, here look.” Wanda tries to calm you down and give you your pacifier back, but it doesn't work and you scream louder. Natasha wheels you out of the store and Wanda follows behind.

Natasha thinks back to something she read.

When a baby is having a fit, they most likely just want someone to comfort them.

Natasha picks up your screaming flailing body and holds you tight to her in a Thor hug.

“Shhhh baby, it’s okay. Mommy’s right here.” You fight against her for a while until you can’t anymore. You finally relax against her breathing heavily with tears still streaming down your face.

“That’s it baby, Mama and Mommy are right here,” Natasha coos at you. Finally you’re just a big mess of sniffles. Wanda puts all the things into the car and brings the pacifier and Bunny into the back seat with her. Natasha put you in the back with Wanda and you snuggled up into her holding Bunny.

“Here baby, you want this?” Wanda says opening the package and getting the green pacifier out. You nod sleepily and she puts the pacifier up to your lips. You take it into your mouth taking a timid suck. You decide that it’s good and continue sucking on it. Snuggled into Mama with Bunny you feel warm and safe. Closing your eyes you fall asleep.

When you wake up you're still in your little baby state and you're hungry. Wanda is holding you, but she’s asleep.

“Ma-ma?”

“Ma-ma, ma-ma” Finally she starts to wake up.

“Well hi baby girl,” She says with a sleepy smile. She hears your stomach growl back at her.

“You hungry baby?” Again your stomach answers her.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” She says with a chuckle. She gets out of bed and picks you up. Wanda carries you downstairs where the bottle from earlier is still sitting on the counter. You point to it and look back up at Wanda. Wanda picks up the bottle and sits down on the couch with you. She was just going to give you the bottle when she remembered that you were a 8 month year old instead of your usually 3 year old.

Wanda holds the bottle up to your mouth and you wrap your hand around it. Taking into your mouth you suck on it eagerly. You look up at Mama to see her smiling down at you. She brushes the hair out of your face. You smile back up to her through the nipple of the bottle. You empty the bottle in less than 5 minutes. You see Tasha come in and she sits next to you. Wanda gets up and refills the bottle for you. When she comes back she sees that Natasha has taken her place.

“Here you go,” She says, handing the bottle to Nat. Mommy feeds you and after your done you sit up.

“I love you,” you say, surprising both of them.

“Baby girl?” Natasha asks.

“Hi Mommy.”

[project-rosewood-476]

House of Gold

Okay, so this is strictly fluff. This is the fluffiest thing I have ever written for this AU and probably will be the most fluff you all will get for this.

This fic is based on the song House of Gold by Twentyone Pilots. I wanted to explore and explain the relationship between Tabby and her stepdad before everything went to shit. And I feel as though that song suits them.

"Kitty" is a nickname that she had for her stepdad when she was younger because her real dad and stepdad were both named Michael so to avoid confusion but she slowly dropped the nickname when she got older.

Summary: Tabby is six at the time and she is left home alone even though she's not supposed to be due to her mother's A+ parenting choices. When she's bored out of her mind she goes looking around for shit that she's not supposed to. But what happens when she takes a trip down memory lane and remembers all the good times she had before she was left all alone. Will it fill her with despair? or renew her sense of hope?

She asked me, Son when I grow old

Will you buy me a house of gold?

And when your father turns to stone

Will you take care of me?

She asked me, Son when I grow old

Will you buy me a house of gold?

And when your father turns to stone

Will you take care of me?

The lonely six-year-old paced around her small apartment relentlessly. Being left home alone yet again, she was pretty bored. She was looking for something to do. She was tired of TV, books, and she wasn’t hungry, so that she couldn’t eat her boredom away. Not that there was much to eat in the house anyways. She couldn’t go outside alone because she didn’t know where anything was, and the outside world scared her. Usually, the person she would consider her dad would be here by now. He would have taken her to the park, play pretend, play fight, or colored with her. It’s boring playing by yourself. But since he wasn’t here for reasons unbeknownst to her for a year now, she was left with her own devices.

What do you do as a child who’s left home alone and bored out of your mind? You snoop around. Tabby went through the drawers in the kitchen. Maybe she could concoct something to eat if she looked hard enough or find something new to play with. She found nothing interesting. Nothing but silverware, junk mail, and odds and ends of a miscellaneous drawer that didn’t hold her attention for very long.

She walked down the narrow hallway, altogether skipping over her room since she knew everything that she had in her room. She went straight into her mom’s room. She took in her surroundings. She saw a couple of unfinished jigsaw puzzles on the floor. Sometimes her mother and her would try to finish them when her mom had the time. She saw the miniature wolf sculptures and figurines that her mother adores on her dresser. She went through her drawers to see if she found anything interesting or to remind her mom to do laundry if she saw that she didn’t have clothes in there. The good news is that her mom didn’t need to do laundry. The bad news was that she found nothing to hold her interest. She took one of her mom’s green work shirts and just inhaled her scent. It calmed her down and took her mind off of her boredom. She missed her mom a lot. Tabby decided to stay buried in her mom’s scent for a few minutes later before moving on.

Tabby decided to raid her mom’s closet at least help her organize that godawful mess in there. Her mother’s closet was on the same length as most middle school and high school lockers. She began to separate the piles of clothes from clean to dirty based on smell until she came across an old blue folder. Finally, something to cure her boredom. Tabby opened it up to have a look and couldn’t believe what she saw.

“So this is where he’s been hiding the stuff that I make for him while he’s been here,” she realized in thought as a couple of pictures, a few short stories, and a couple of fathers days cards that were still all in pristine condition. Even a couple of years later.

That brought a smile to her face and brought back memories.

A little girl four years of age was sitting on the floor, focusing intently on a drawing that she was making on the coffee table. An older man in his late 20’s plopped down onto the couch lazily as he looked over to what the girl was drawing.

“Whatcha drawing?” he asked as he peered over.

“Remember the house by the candy shop that we always pass on our way to the park?” she asked, still not looking up from her drawing.

“The one that’s always on sale on hill street?”

“If that’s what it’s called, then yes.”

“Yeah, what about it?” he asked, still not getting the picture

“Well, someday when I’m all grown up, I’m going to buy that house, and I’m taking you with me. It will be our house!” she said proudly.

He raised an eyebrow in surprise.

“Really? What about your mother? Aren’t you going to bring her along too?” he asked, struggling to find the words to speak.

Tabby grew quiet and looked down.

“We all know with the lifestyle mommy is living, she won’t live very long. You’ll last longer,” she said quietly.

“Yeah…” he trailed off, a little disturbed at the child’s eeriness. But she wasn’t far off from the truth either. He was aware of the type of life and choices that her mother led and made. Some of them left him scratching his head, and a lot of the time, they made his blood boil. What kind of a mother would do that to her kid. Tabby was a lot more perceptive than what she’s given credit for. He knew that.

“Besides,” said Tabby bringing him out from his angry thoughts,” You’re my best friend. It would be weird to plan my future and not have you in it. It’s only natural that you would be a part of it.”

“You think that I’ll be around that long?” he asked, amused playing along with the girl’s plan.

“You’d said that you would be around forever, right?”

“Of course, kiddo I-I gave you my word,” he was taken aback by the fact that she took his promise so seriously.

“Okay then,” she went back to drawing.

“How do you think that you’ll pay for the house, huh?”

“I’ll get a job when I’m old enough to work, duh,” she said it like it was the most obvious thing ever.

“You’d have to be 15 to work legally.”

She stopped to look at him in horror.

“But that’s so old.”

He couldn’t help but let out a hearty laugh at her concept of old age. It was so fascinating to listen to what the four-year-old thought of the world around her. Sometimes she had solid points and saw the world for what it is at its base. Simplistic and so full of good and hope. Other times her ideas were so bizarre that they showed just how innocent she was.

Tabby looked at him, confused. Had she said something funny?

“Oh, I’d hate to break it to ya, kid, but if you think 15 is old, then it would take even longer to save up money to buy the place.”

She looked at him even more confused.

“How hard can it be?”

He let out another hearty laugh.

“Oh, kiddo, you have no idea.”

I will make you

Queen of everything you see

I'll put you on the map

I'll cure you of disease

Tabby took out one of her short stories that she wrote starring him as the hero and god that she saw him as. She worshipped him. She was rereading her work, a masterpiece at the time; now, she cringed at how godawful it was. However, she remembered beaming with pride when she handed him her finished product that she worked on for a month. It was the first story she ever wrote.

“Kitty, look! Look at what I made for you!” Tabby ran to him as soon as he walked out the door.

“What is it?” he asked as he kneeled to be on her level.

“I made you a story,” she said shyly as she handed it to him.

He was a little shocked at the gift. This was the first thing she’s ever given him. It was one of the nicest things anyone has done for him in a long time.

“Will you read it?” she inquired excitedly.

“Sure, after I take my nap. Then I’m all yours, and we can talk about your story.”

“Awww,” she sounded dejected.

“I’ll tell you what. I’ll put it right beside me so that way it will be the first thing I’ll do when I wake up. Fair enough?”

“Okay,” she sighed. She wasn’t happy with the compromise, but she took what she could get. She went back to play with her stuffed animals to keep herself occupied in the meantime.

However, he did not nap that day like he said he would. He spent his allotted two hours reading her story and just taking it in. She showed a lot of talent and promise with writing. Even with her limited vocabulary, she put so much passion and emotion behind what she was saying and trying to express that it was easy to get what she was saying. What moved him to the point of a few stray tears streaming down his face was how evident she thought so highly of him. She viewed him as a hero and thought he was a good person that he was better. It was so moving when he didn’t even think of himself like that. Knowing that someone out there in the living room loved him enough to see past that and had so much to give left him speechless.

Let's say we up and left this town

And turned our future upside-down.

We'll make pretend that you and me

Lived ever after, happily

Tabby was grinning from ear to ear, sitting on the floor, looking through her old drawings and stories she wrote for him that he still kept in pristine condition. She had a few stray tears from happiness leaking out, but she didn’t care. This was the closest she felt to him in a long while. She took out another picture. It was of her and her dad running through trees on some sort of adventure. There’s a story behind that one.

Tabby was drawing furiously at the kitchen table while her dad made her some spaghetti to eat for dinner. Her dad peered over her shoulder.

“I see that you’re overflowing with creative juices again. What are you drawing this time?”

“You and me we’re going on an adventure, but I can’t decide what the rest of the picture should be,” she said, frustrated.

“What about trees?” he suggested

“Like the woods?” she asked

“Yeah, like we’re going on a hike and camping. That’s an adventure, and we’ll come back when we’re done,” he said as he turned away to finish making dinner.

“Oh, I don’t want to come back,” said Tabby quickly as she went back to drawing.

He almost dropped the hot pot of boiling spaghetti at her statement.

“Why wouldn’t you want to come back?” he asked slowly.

Tabby stayed quiet for a few minutes before slowly turning to face him.

“Is it bad that I don’t want to stay with mommy?” she said in a voice that was barely a whisper.

“I- Uh- W-what makes you say that? Don’t you love mommy?” he didn’t know how to answer that.

She shook her head furiously, sending her long strands of black hair all over the place while moving her little hands in a ‘no’ motion “, No no, no, that’s not it at all! I do love mommy, I do! It’s just- she never listens to me. I tell her that I don’t like it when she brings home strangers, and she still does it anyway. I tell her that I don’t like it when she sleeps all day, but she does it anyway. If you love someone, then you would listen to them. It’s like I’m not here! I am unwanted and unloved, and I don’t belong!” she looked down as her bottom lip quivered like she was going to cry.

Oh boy, he didn’t know what to say or do. He bit off more than what he could chew. He was aware of her mother’s questionable life choices, but he never knew just how badly they affected Tabby. He gathered that they made her sad and lonely and neglected, but he never knew how deep her hurt ran. His burning hatred and anger at her mother quickly turned into heartbreak for the child in front of him.

He went back to plating her spaghetti and set it down in front of the sulking child. He petted her hair in an attempt to comfort her. He continued to do so until he noticed that she was feeling a little better to turn around and eat. Satisfied, he went back to plating his meal.

“You know for what it’s worth; I can promise you that the bad things are only temporary even if they don’t feel like it at times. If anyone can get out of this town when you’re old enough to, I have absolute faith that it would be you.”

“You think so?” she asked excitedly and hopefully.

He ruffled her hair.

“I know so.”

She asked me, Son when I grow old

Will you buy me a house of gold?

And when your father turns to stone

Will you take care of me?

Tabby grew bored and put the pictures and clothes neatly back as best as she could and got up to explore the other rooms in the apartment. She went to the bathroom and opened up the cabinets to see what was in there. Her mother often told her not to look through the bathroom cabinets, but she wasn’t here to say no. Tabby concluded that if it were that bad, she would be given a sign that would tell her no. She found nothing of interest. Just chemicals that she knew better to play with and in the upper cabinet various cold medicines, band-aids, anti-bacterial ointment, nail clippers, the thermometer, her mother’s happy pills as she called them, and bandages. Tabby felt a twang of nostalgia that hurt her stomach when she looked at the bandages, and she knew why.

Tabby was sitting on the couch waiting for her dad to come back and babysit her. Where was he? Her mom said that he would be here in two hours. It’s been more than that. She jumped when she heard the sound of the front door opening and closing. Tabby turned around quickly only to be greeted with the horrific sight of her dad staggering in, out of breath, bruised and bloodied.

“Oh my god, what happened?” asked Tabby, horrified as she ran towards him, tripping over her own feet.

“It’s nothing, honey. I just got into a fight; that’s all” He made his way to the kitchen and sat down in the chair as he grimaced.

“Well, we have to get you cleaned up,” she fretted, struggling to figure out what to do.

“Good Idea. Do you know what to do?” he asked

Tabby slowly shook her head no.

He sighed “, That’s okay. I’ll walk you through it. First, get a cloth and wet it with warm soapy water. That will help clean off the blood and kill the bacteria.

“Got it,” she said as she ran into the bathroom to grab a dishcloth from the pile, put on some warm water and used hand soap, and rubbed it into the cloth to make it soapy. She came out waiting for further instructions.

“Good now, gently pat clean up all of the blood as best as you can, okay?” he sounded tired.

Tabby went slow and tried to be a gentle as she could with a few reminders. Laser focusing on the task at hand. His hands revealed minor cuts and shallow gashes.

“Is that good enough?”

“Yes, now go get the ointment. It should be in the upper cabinet in a blue and white packet in the bathroom.”

“On it,” she ran back to the back to the bathroom as fast as she could and grabbed her stepping stool that she uses to reach the sink to brush her teeth. She stood on her tiptoes on the chair to get the cabinet to open it. She looked for anything with blue and white packaging until she found the tiny ointment packets he was talking about. She grabbed a few and ran back out into the kitchen.

“Okay, now what?”

“Now open the packets and gently smear the ointment on just for extra precaution for infection.”

Tabby struggled to open it with her tiny hands, so she had help opening it. She spread the ointment all over his hands as gently as she could.

“Now what?”

“Now, I need you to go into the junk drawer and get two safety pins.”

“Okay,” she knew where the drawer was in the kitchen. She rummaged through to find what she thought were safety pins since she had no idea what they looked like. She pulled out a paper clip and showed it to him for confirmation.

“No, that’s a paper clip. Try again.”

She rummaged through the drawer again and pulled out a thumbtack.

“No, that’s a thumbtack try again,” he sounded exasperated.

Tabby whimpered and held her head down like a scolded puppy. She didn’t like how he sounded displeased with her. She rummaged deeper in the drawer and finally pulled out a safety pin,

“There we go!” he encouraged.

She pulled out another one and set them both on the table.

“Now go get those bandages in the upper cabinet. They are long and white.”

She nodded and went back into the bathroom once more to grab the bandages and ran back out.

“Good, now wrap them around my hands,” he walked her through the process of doing that, and he put on the safety pins to hold the bandages in place himself.

Tabby grabbed his hands and kissed both of them. He jerked back in surprise and was a little taken aback by her actions. She looked just as confused as he was.

“What are you doing?”

“I was just kissing your boo-boos to make them feel better. That’s what mommy does with me. I thought it would work for you.”

He hugged her tightly and tried to choke back his tears at how sincere and pure she was. It was only then, when she calmed down enough that she realized that he stunk. Specifically of cheap whiskey and liquor. Tabby tried to push away and scrunched up her nose.

“You stink,” she complained bluntly.

He burst out laughing. “I suppose I do. I’ll tell you what, let me take a shower, and we’ll have a movie night, and I’ll let you stay up an hour past your bedtime.”

“Okay!” Tabby said excitedly with a giggle.

“As long as you don’t tell your mom.”

“My lips are sealed” she made a zipper mouth motion.

I will make you

Queen of everything you see

I'll put you on the map

I'll cure you of disease (Ooh)

Tabby closed the bathroom cabinets and went back out to the living room. Right back to where she started. She stared out the window at the busy street down below. It became part of her daily routine to stare out the window and see if her dad was coming back. She didn’t know. It could be any day now. She hasn’t lost hope yet. She continued to stare, being lost in her thoughts.

“And the pirate kingdom of Aiwratha is saved from the mutant octopus by the rebel pirates!” she held her stick that she used as a sword up in the air in victory.

Tabby and her dad were currently at Maplehood park on the wooden play pirate ship in the middle of the playground section of the park. With Tabby as captain of the rebel pirate team and her dad as her first mate. Since no one else wanted to play with Tabby, they have played this multiple times with different storylines. Secretly they both never tired from it.

“We did it! We did it! We did it! We are the heroes!” he cheered as he picked her up and spun her around.

“Of course we are! Why wouldn’t we be? We are a team forever and always! Together nothing will get in our way! There’s nothing we can’t do!” she squirmed to be put down.

He took a minute to look at her eyes that were too big for her face. But they were so full of hope, adventure, optimism and had that bright lightning in her eyes. Ready to take on the world. He chuckled a little as he put her down and let her run free.

Maybe he didn’t do a bad job with her after all.

And since we know that dreams are dead

And life turns plans up on their head

I will plan to be a bum

So I just might become someone

Tabby sighed and rested her head on her thin arms on the window sill gloomily. She perked up when she saw somebody that looked like her dad. Only to sink back down when she realized that it was a false alarm. Here she was all alone. So much for his promise of sticking around forever. So much for a future with him in it. That dream is dead.

She slowly sat up with a confused realization.

What was she thinking?

Sure he wasn’t here now, but that doesn’t mean he won’t be here until later, right? She recently discovered that dreams do die, but maybe just maybe, dreams can come back to life. Perhaps he will come back, and those dreams can soar again. Yes, that’s right! This train of thought filled her with renewed hope, and she was bouncing in her seat in eagerness. Sure she and her mother aren’t in a good place right now, but that would be her responsibility to bring them both out of this dark place. She believed that she was strong enough to do so. All she knew was that she had to fight to survive for herself and her mother alive long enough so when he does come back, they will be a family again, and her dad would be proud to see just how far she’s come. She’ll be a hero once again.

She asked me, Son when I grow old

Will you buy me a house of gold?

And when your father turns to stone

Will you take care of me?

I will make you

Queen of everything you see

I'll put you on the map

I'll cure you of disease

She didn’t have an exact plan to go about this, but she decided it would be best to start small with stuff she could do. First, she could clean up the apartment as best as she could. After all, she can’t have him come back to a dirty apartment. She was leaving the heavy-duty cleaning to her mom, such as chemical cleaning, laundry, and dishes since she didn’t know how to do any of that. However, she could pick up a little and sweep. She knows how to pick up after herself and has seen her mom sweep multiple times, so she has an idea of what she’s doing. She was too small for the real broom, so she would just use her pink kid one. She got to work right away.

She will do everything in her power to help him come home to her.

All for him.

[alias-b]

sins of my youth. 002

Billy Hargrove x OC! Evie Fenny~ Also posted to my AO3

Summary: It was common knowledge that Billy Hargrove hated Hawkins. Hated Cherry Lane. Even loathed the strange girl next door. Evie Fenny wasn’t too fond of the chaotic Cali transfer either. An awful high school tradition sparks a chain of events that changes everything, ultimately bringing two frayed souls together.

A/N: Hello all~ Down the rabbit hole. TW: Teenagers can be the worst. Bullying. Fatphobia. Slut shaming. Cruel boys being cruel boys.

Chapter 2: A Million Dead Stars

   All Evie had to do was wait patiently. For Heather to pop out back and for Billy to swoop in and make his bold move.

   The goofy grin Heather walked back in with did not disappoint. Not at all.

   “Hey, you.” Curls bounced when Evie cocked her head and Heather plopped down with a drink. They tapped red plastic cups.

   “So, I just had an...amazing conversation.”

   “Yeah...?" Evie sang softer. "Pray tell."

   “Just...wow. Billy Hargrove. Him too, huh?”

   “We knew it would happen. He was being way too cool around us at lunch when the guy has been nothing but shitty toward me since moving here. He gave me a ride home, it was obvious. And so…?”

   “Where to start?” Heather put her arm up on the couch and took a long drink, laughing. Pretty in pink girl. “First he brought up Jane Austen. Said they were studying it in English which was a total bluff.”

   “We’re not.” Evie confirmed. “He’s in my second period.”

   "You gave up choir for that specific period with Bowers." Heather recalled more so to herself.

   "No, I just," Evie scrambled, "I just didn't want to do choir anymore. The teacher played favorites. Got sick of it."

   Another longer drink and she went on.

   "So, continue..."

   “He brought up Pride and Prejudice. Which, okay, but Emma is way better.”

   “You’re wrong, but I still love you.” Evie curled up to face her friend. Heather laughed and took her hand, leaned her head on the couch to gather herself in a fit of giggles. 

   “He said Mr. Dancy.”

   “No?” Evie died there. "And I hoped he might learn something."

   “Yes!” Heather smacked at her. Music pumped behind them. Teens roaming and making a mess of the nice mansion. "I felt bad because...I snorted about it. In his face."

   “You know, I’ll give Billy a point. Go on.”

   “Museums. Fuck me gently with a chainsaw, I love you...but I’d soon jump into a pit of alligators before going to a museum for a date. Bowling or mini golf please.” Heather was chuckling. “Ballpark hot dogs are way better than cheeseburgers. Popcorn over cheese fries and a damn milkshake? Slushies or nothing. I’m lactose intolerant. He was trying to bore me to death or poison me, Eve.”

   Evie broke to laugh again, barely able to speak.

   “I know! That’s why I suggested all of that.”

   “You bitch.” Heather was giggling still into her shoulder. Hands clasped. They broke to drink. “Oh! And campy action adventure movies or rom-coms only for Heather Holloway. I don’t get why you even go for horror, you wouldn’t hurt a fly and you squirm.”

   “He bombed.” Evie covered her eyes, wiped a tear aside. “I almost pity him.”

   “What’s funny is you like all that stuff. I’m not sure if he was faking it well, but he seemed kinda into most of it.”

   “I’ve been running out of ideas when your followers scramble. Sue me, Heath.” Evie pushed up. “I definitely need another drink.”

   “Fine, fine. Hey,” Heather laced their pinkies together, “teen boys are the worst. Thanks for bouncing another off me. Billy’s cute and all, but hell, I have too much on my plate for a boy right now.”

   “Got that right.” Evie weaved between dancing crowds to the punch bowl. Passed some guy puking into a vase and another group cheering on an arm wrestling match. Spooned herself a full cup. Was mid gulp when she turned to a pair of scathing blue eyes. Oh, Billy.

   “You fucking-”

   “I’m going to stop you right there, Hargrove, and walk that a-way.” She gulped again and passed him.

   “You think that shit’s funny?” Billy had a fistful of her jacket collar. Snarling like a mad dog. "She laughed at me."

   The humiliation of it seemed to make Billy the angriest.

   Evie felt that resonate bitterly because he sounded wounded and oblivious to what life threw her way.

   “Funny? Only after the first ten boys.” She shrugged. “Now it’s just sad. I’m not stupid.”

   “I’d say jerking me around is pretty stupid.” Billy was clearly smashed. Smelling of beer and weed. Eyes red to hell. “Maybe you’re so fucking single and miserable, you make sure your friend stays that way too, huh.”

   Billy knew a nerve was plucked at that by the way she stilled to go colder. Brown eyes molten at him.

   “You don’t know me. You’re a fucking asshole, you know that? I think we both know which one of us is miserable. Go show off for the school all you want, you don't fool everyone with those pretty blue eyes.” Evie shoved off him. Wondered if she caught that same frayed nerve.

   "Hey, we got a problem here?" A Hawkins football player towered. Couple of his buddies from other schools that weren't Ridgemont made a barricade between Billy and Evie.

   "I'm talking to Fenny, dickweed. You mind?" Billy spat. Evie huffed and rolled her eyes.

   "You're talking to the girl who kicked Brock Tannen's ass. Show some respect." Another meathead joined in. Evie hid amusement because this was an odd change over the year.

   "Guys, stand down, you really don't have to do this for me." It was...weird. Frankly, Billy looked like he was about to take on all of them.

   The boy in front gave Billy's shoulder a comical brush and they went off like a herd of happy buffalo.

   "The fuck, are you teen royalty somehow?" Hargrove made a face at her tired expression.

   "No, just some lucky idol they keep around. I still get stepped on in the hallway and I pass everyone's love notes for them." Evie sipped. "I don't care that you like Heather, I care that you pretended to be something close to kind with me to get at her."

   "Don't worry, I'm not interesting in being kind to you again." It came out nastier than he meant it too. Alcohol did that to his old man as well. Disgust welled and Billy had nowhere to put it so it flowed out. "No one here gives a shit about what you have to say, Fenny. Don't count on them trying either just because you're some freak they keep around for one sick story. They're all gonna laugh at you."

   Evie blinked a few times. Saw Billy's shoulders sink while they stared into each other, both searching long and hard. Finished her drink in one swig and tossed the cup at his shoes.

   “You fucking insecure asshole, check a mirror in five years and let me know if you like what you see. Not like you even do now, I bet, so enjoy denial. And stay away from me, Hargrove.” She went down the hallway beyond a spiral staircase and almost ran into a huge chest. As if this night couldn't get any worse.

   Fuck.

   Brock Tannen. Poster boy of rich asshole quarterback from their main rival school. Chestnut hair and chiseled good looks covered evil.

   “Fat Fenny. Oh, sorry. Old habit. Evie. Missed you around these parts.” He nursed a can of beer and leaned into the wall. “Go psycho on anyone lately?”

   “The year isn’t over.” She moved to pass him.

   “Look.” He jolted in front of her. “Admittedly, I was a real shithead. I know that now. My folks even got someone for me to talk to. I'm working through all my shit. But, I was an ass to you.”

   “We knew this.” Evie tried to go the other way, but his shoulder blocked her. She caught sight of his chain. A silver playboy bunny charm he loved to show off.

   “Listen, the year is almost up. I want you to know I don’t hold it against you. You went through some shit at home too. Truce?” No response. A beat before his chin lifted. “You never went crying to your slut mother about me. My dad said she sucks the mailman off.”

   "Don't say shit about my mother." Evie was on her toes. Hands clenching.

   "Didn't cry to daddy either, oh...my bad. You can't." Brock's laughter rang sirens around her head. He was begging her to go off again. "Why didn't you tell mommy about me? We almost had fun."

   “You didn’t get far with me if that’s what you mean, you think I’d give you my tears? Just embarrassed that you bat at fat chicks and get turned down. Eat shit, Tannen.” She got around him, staggered away.

   “Maybe I’ll convince you. I just want to be friends. It’s going to be a new year soon.” His voice lingered along the hallways. "Just messing with you cause I like you is all." More chuckles followed.

   Guys like Tannen secretly wanted her. Unobtainable and strange girls who didn’t conform to stupid high school stereotypes, it really pissed people off. Exotic, which was truly the worst word. Evie was easy to fetishize. 

   Billy got over Heather because Evie passed him moments later with his tongue down some Ridgemont girl’s throat.

   The boy was all mouth and hands. Sucked face like a fucking giant squid attacking a ship at sea.

   "Ick. Fucking Cthulhu." She got away from that, drank more to forget.

   Heather pulled her friend into the dancing. Lights blasting all directions. Music pulsed. Couple more drinks and they were stumbling to Heather’s place. Sneaking up the stairs to fall into a queen sized bed.

   “Can’t believe we didn’t wake my parents.” Heather rolled to her front, smudged the pillow with makeup. Evie was on her side snickering. “Hey, you’d tell me if something was wrong, right?”

   “Nothing is wrong.” Brown eyes blinked. Heather nuzzled her pillow and breathed even, searching.

   “You changed last year. After, what happened at home… I know you miss your dad.” Delicate fingertips ran over Evie's arm. Slipped away.

   “He left.”

   Evie remembered coming home from school. He was just gone. Clothes and all. Mona crying at the table. Pictures down. Like he never existed.

   And her mother never really explained why. Just said they had problems and her dad wanted to be with someone else. He never called. Mona cried that day and hasn’t cried since. Evie couldn’t even remember the last thing she said to him. 

   People vanish. They have that power.

   “After...what happened with Tannen. You got all distant with me. I just worry about you a lot.” Heather’s fingers curled into Evie’s sleeve. “Kids are cruel, I don’t understand why. Why they're so mean...”

   “Some people don’t know where to put it when they hate themselves.”

   “I don't think I hate myself. Sometimes I hate that myself isn't enough, you know? Enough to please my parents all the time and enough to help other people out."

   "You're more than enough for me, Heather." Evie heard a sniffle.

   "D-Do you hate yourself?” An airy tone slurred.

   “I don’t know.” Evie sighed. “I’m fine, Heath, I’m happy. I dealt with it.”

   “Happy or pretending to be?” Heather mused, pulling at her hair scrunchie to relieve brown locks. “I just don’t see you a lot, like you’re always with someone else. You never wanted to hang out over the summer.”

   “I’m just busy with stuff, it’s nothing.” Evie peered at the walls plastered in their friendship. Felt every smiling version of herself in those old photographs wince at her lies. Stars exploding in total silence.

   “You’re going to leave Hawkins and sing your songs for people on a stage. You’re going to be world famous and I’ll get to point and say, that’s my best friend.” Heather grinned. “Keep breaking that shell. I can help you.”

   “I’ll try.” Evie scoffed. “You’re so drunk.”

   “I am…” Heather hummed. “Just talk to me, okay? I want you to be so happy again. Like we used to be when we’d go to the park. Play on swing sets.”

   “I won’t shut you out.” She replied as Heather settled, started to snore. “Goodnight, Heath.”

   “M’night.”

** ** **

   Billy was still raging into that night. Stumbled out of a bedroom pulling his tee back on, rooting around for his jacket. Most kids were starting to pass out on floors and couches.

   “Hey, this belong to you?” Brock plucked up leather so Billy snatched it. “Good to see you, Hargrove. You know, they say Hawkins would have finished out the basketball season with the title if you stayed on the team.”

   “They played favorites. Got sick of it.” Billy passed him, lightning a cigarette.

   “Come outside, sit with the guys.” Brock cocked his head, square jaw setting when he smiled.

   “Hey, B.” Tommy was stoned out of his mind. Looked at Billy like he was trying to find him in a haystack. Not with Carol so they must have had some fight. 

   Billy eyed the clear covered pool. Lights played up to touch his face before he plopped into a metal chair. Boys from Hawkins and other schools gathered around a glass table, drinking and shooting the shit. A joint was passed. Mostly rich, sporty types.

   “Hargrove. Hear you’re the Hawkins Keg King. What the hell happened with Harrington?” Brock faked interest, hands clasped.

   “Crashed and burned, man.” Tommy chortled, smacking Billy’s arm.

   “Who?” Just play dumb.

   “Don’t play coy, man, we all know you beat the shit out of him. Knocked the pretty boy down a few pegs.” Brock only grinned there. “So, you’re in the circle now.”

   “Oooh, do I get a medal?” Billy flicked his smoke aside and swiped Tommy’s beer to drink.

   “I like this guy, Hagan.” 

   “We can trust him.” Tommy winked, sitting back.

   “You’re not going to hunt me for sport, are you?” Billy inhaled sharper, unworried. Laughter erupted.

   “It’s funny you say that,” Brock took the floor, “because we are going to let you in on the deepest secret between the high schools. Something that brings all the boys together. Hawkins. Ridgemont. Hill Valley. Bates. We have this little tradition we do between Homecoming and Prom.”

   “Skirt Safari.” Brock’s right hand man chuckled, sucking the joint down. Few boys echoed it with laughter.

   “The hell is that?” Billy drank, shaking his hair out.

   “Some of us guys throw this big dance party. Rent out a nice place in town, pour some good money into a pool.” Brock shrugged. “You take a girl and we vote.”

   “Vote?” Billy puffed. More cruel smiles.

   “Yeah, on which girl is the ugliest beast.” Hyena cackling followed. Billy just stared with his brow raised.

   “Ah...What the fuck is this? Are you joking?”

   “Open season, man.” Another boy chimed in.

   “Walk with me, Hargrove, you have something special about you.” Brock got up, swiped the joint to finish it. Billy looked irritated and followed. Fresh air cleared his head. Behind them, teens chattered. “I think you’ll fit right in here. You live on Cherry Lane, right?”

   “What’s it to you?” Billy chucked the beer aside.

   “Next to that Fenny girl. Kinda cute in her new little outfits if you like something extra to grab onto.” Brock shrugged. Turned from Billy to eye the sky clearing up.

   “Didn’t she beat your ass last year?” A sly grin crossed.

   “Ah, you heard. Rumors have been exaggerated. Just like you and Harrington I’m sure. Getting booted from the team over a tiff.”

   “I left on my own, fuck them.”

   “Fenny had a thing for me and I said no because I was with someone, so she got emotional. Girls are like that. They get attached and upset when we don't give them what they need.” Brock stuffed his hands into his pockets. “She’s untouched, you know, so I heard. Flaunting her shit now and not letting us grab the goods. Asking for it man, but too afraid to follow through. I hate that teasing shit. They say the bookworms are wild in the sack. Bet you that musical girl can sing too.”

   “You obsessed with her now and her little outfits?” That earned Billy a brief heated expression. The boy was more observant than he was given credit for.

   “I just wanted to raise a challenge for you. Get Fenny to go to Skirt Safari as your date. New Years Eve, we’ll give you the address. Kiss her before the clock strikes twelve. She won’t earn you the win, but I’ll bet you money that you can’t get the famous ice queen to go.”

   “Man, this is so fucking stupid.” Billy clearly didn’t fit with this crowd of uppity shits. Heels spun to go.

   “Is three hundred dollars stupid?” Brock watched Billy skid. Blue eyes shifting to see him again. “Ah, I have your attention.”

   “Cash?” Billy could use it. Three hundred would go far for him. Brock Tannen knew that immediately about him.

   “I can show it to you if you like.” Brock displayed his teeth, almost glowing and sharp. “Show us that Hargrove charm and break the unbreakable. If you're the Keg King. Prove it. Let us see you in action.”

   “I take her to the shitty party and you give me three hundred bucks?" Billy asked carefully, eyes darting. "She doesn't have to find out about this vote shit you guys do?”

   “No, not a word from us. I'll even pay your end of the pool as a token. Just an innocent kiss before the ball drops. You don't have to screw her, unless she's your thing. Easy enough?” Brock held out his hand. Billy eyed the campy bunny chain around Tannen’s neck, huffed out his nose.

   Took the offer with a hard expression.

   “Deal.”

** ** **

   Evie rubbed her eyes the next morning and said bye to Heather, raking fingers through curls as she was dropped off. Jacket pulled close while she fumbled for keys and Heather drove off.

   Not even a second after, a blue Camaro was pulling up next door. 

   It was annoying how great Billy looked even with a hangover after a hard night of partying. He stunk of beer and smoke and his hair was ratted, but glowy as always. Evie groaned when he spotted her and got the key in the door.

   “Hey, Evie.” Was that her name he just used? “Hey, wait up.” Boots clicked to hurry toward her house. A stronger hand yanked the front door closed and Billy held his ground there. "Wait a second, I'm trying to talk to you."

   “Aren’t we both too hungover for this?” Already on the defensive. Makeup smeared around her eyes. She turned, applying some chapstick and sighed out. "What?"

   “Look.” Billy pushed his hands into his back pockets, eyes flicking away and back. “It was a dick move. The whole Heather thing.”

   “Yeah.” She waited for him to go on.

   “And I’m…” Sorry? “It was shitty.” He craned down toward her. "The stuff I said, I was fucking wasted."

   "And you're..." She tried to spell the word out with her eyes. Billy blinked innocently.

   "An asshole."

   Evie flattened.

   "Yes, but not what I was...ah, look, it doesn't matter. I was drunk and I jabbed too. And I am...sorry." A shrug before she tried the door again.

   Billy pulled it shut once more like this was a game, earning a sigh of irritation.

   "I'm still talking at you. I was...I am...a shithead." He couldn't wrap his squid tongue around a fucking apology. Christ.

   Evie looked expectantly, leaning in as if more should come.

   Billy sucked at this so he decided to jump right in.

   “I wanted to make it up to you. There’s this dance up in the city. Real bar. Real drinks. New Years Eve bash. Go with me.” It sounded like an order.

   “Go with you?” She blinked in shock. Grew pointed. “Ah, no, Billy.” Evie got her front door open again and pushed by him. Wondered if he was used to rejection in any form. So, she pushed pride aside. “But, Heather thinks you’re cute okay. Just ask her. It’s fine.”

   She got around the door and hid half behind it. Billy’s hand went flat to stop it from shutting.

   “I don’t want to ask Heather, I’m asking you.” He shrugged with big eyes. Bet ladies fell for it. Evie searched him, beyond confused. She hated confusion. It was too much. “You’re single, it’s this or some lame ass high school party.”

   He noted she opened her mouth and decided not to protest the single part. The hesitation was odd.

   "I...I happen to like lame ass high school parties." She stammered out.

   "Oh, sure." He winked.

   "Y-Yeah, I just love them actually because kids our age are very stupid. It's better than public television."

   "Right. Right." He sounded not convinced.

   "And, you're Billy Hargrove so any girl will jump at the chance, just ask-"

   “I’m asking you, Angel. Deal with it.” He lowered his tone and got closer. Flashed a darling smile then bit his lip. Slid that tongue over it. "Don't make me beg. You know I will."

   “You...I… Look, I’m...flattered but, I can’t. I, uh, have a thing.” Her voice trailed off. “Sorry.” The door shut.

   Billy gave this growl low in his throat. 

   “We have time, Fenny, I’m fine asking again.” His voice picked up. Silence. "All you gotta do is nod that pretty head of yours."

   Billy knew she heard it. He turned and dropped the grin when he spotted Max there on the sidewalk, skateboard in hand. Watching.

   "Are you asking Evie out?" She narrowed on him.

   "Mind your fucking business, shitbird." Billy stepped off the porch. "She's going to a party with me."

   "Sounded like she just said no to you."

   Billy swerved to get angry. Remembered a nail bat crashing between his legs. Shut his mouth.

   "Whatever." A puff.

   "She's nice," Max trailed after him, "you should, you know...ask her to something if you... She's cool. Cooler than you."

   He slowed, eyebrow raising.

   "Doesn't matter."

   "It's Saturday." Max explained, red hair catching the sunlight to flame up.

   "I know what day it is, Max, leave me alone." Billy was going up toward their house.

   "She probably said no because you stink so bad."

   "What the fuck?" He wheeled around again, chest puffing.

   Max smirked at him and Billy found himself matching it. Bold little shit.

   "I know what I said. And it's Saturday, that means she'll probably be helping her mom at that salon later. You should shower and show up. Girls like spontaneous stuff, it's thoughtful and you suck at that."

   Billy scrunched at her.

   "Since when do you care about...?"

   "About what?" She shuffled there on the grass. Peered at Neil's car in the driveway. "We're family now whether we like it or not. Which means I'm stuck looking out for you. Right, Billy?" Max dropped her skateboard, popping it up with one foot. "I like Evie and I don't want my brother being a jerk to her. Or anyone."

   Billy scoffed, near amused.

   "Right." He grumbled. Went up and paused to turn once more. "Max."

   "Yeah?" She readied to ride off.

   "Watch the board around my damn car, will you?" Billy heard her snort. "I got shit to do now, stay out of the way."

   "Take a shower and show up. Try asking instead of telling. See what happens." Max rode off with a clatter of wheels on concrete. He only shook his head again. Smiled to himself without thinking before he went in.

   Billy decided to take the advise on all accounts. She'd go with him.

   Certainty crept the more he looked at himself in the mirror and applied his aftershave. Maybe he forced the feeling so often, it was second nature. Fuck, looking at his reflection was never this difficult. Evie's words rang harder this morning.

   He didn't blame her for once.

   All these false fronts Billy showed the world. Old photographs flashing like a million dead stars. That was all we ever saw of them. Somewhere else, Evie heard those same stars dying too. Decayed and twinkling too pretty even still. It sounded almost like a cruel fate.

   A tongue swept over his lips before he tried something new. Eyes averting to speak quietly like someone might hear. Fingers twisting the silver ring about his middle finger.

   "Sorry."

   He resumed fixing his curls. Polished up that Hargrove charm until it shined bright.

   What Evangeline Fenny didn't know couldn't possibly hurt her, Billy reasoned.

   Right?

~~~~~~

Thanks for reading, chat with me if you have time! Tried to push another chp out quick. Imma pass out now XOXO TAGGED: @80sbxtch​ @nottherightseason​ @orxhidshavana​  

[blackrosesfanfic]

Chapter 236

Trey

Last thing I want to do is end my marriage. That's never what you think about when making a stupid choice. Following up with a thought instead of thinking it through. That's where impulse gets you. To the point of a failed marriage.

"Jayla?" I say rubbing her leg.

"Where did my mother go?"

I shrug a bit. "She is about as..."

Chris comes walking into the room. "The hell wrong with you Cammies?"

"Ain't nothing wrong with me. There's only one Cammie." Cammie snaps.

"Oh yeah?" Chris says leaving back out. "Mama Cammie."

"Christopher." She snaps rolling her neck.

Chris shrugs once he is behind her back. I chuckle. Cammie and her mother do act similar to one another. Especially when mad or upset. They really look alike then. Gwen sits on the bed. She plays with her phone then she sighs heavily.

"I don't know what to say." Mama Cammie sighs.

"There's nothing to say. It was years ago."

Mama Cammie shakes her head. "Imagine someone hurting your son. You gonna feel like it's nothing? Someone needs some scars. I will be upset until I feel like I did something."

"It's too late."

"No it is not. You went to the hospital. I'm sure they did an assessment on you. I just got to find out what it said and who I need to press some charges against."

Cammie narrows her eyes at her. "You can't do that. Everyone knows… Everyone will know. No."

"Well your father... Lonnie is coming to California."

"Why did you tell him?" Cammie yells scaring Caden.

I move to her to get Caden. She swats at me holding him closer to her. Shit. I don't know what to do. I know she doesn't want me to walk out. I'm not even going to attempt to walk out.

"Better to tell Lonnie than me." Mama Cammie snaps. "I can't handle this."

"That's the problem."

Mama Cammie stands up. "I'm just so angry with you."

"Cause it's my fault?" Cammie cries.

"No. Of course not." Mama Cammie puts her hands on her hips. "You never had to go through any of this alone. I know we were close. You told me everything. I never wanted nothing but you to be the best Cammie you could. Dancing on some stage doesn't tell your whole story. All I saw was you not wanting to talk about that boy because I told you what would happen loving him. I just thought you couldn't take me saying I told you so. So I didn't say it."

"Good." Cammie snaps.

I try once again to take Caden. He wasn't liking Cammie being upset. He was ignoring every attempt she made of calming him down.

"I've dealt with... I don't know Jayla. If you never wanted me there then how could I be there?" Mama Cammie shrugs. "What do you want?"

"Nothing." Cammie says letting me take Caden.

He screams loudly. Shit. I walk around the room. Mama Cammie takes him from me. He cries loud again but calms down as she dramatically rocks him. Cammie's ass is fucking spoiled. You mad at your Mama cause she wasn't there but now you mad at her for trying to fight for you. My Jayla.

"Mama, you are a counselor. How would you help your client connect with her daughter?"

"Son, I just say some horse, you know what. They just like hearing someone neutral. They like being able to speak and someone listens."

I chuckle. "Jayla not listening to nobody."

"Jayla is Jayla." Her mother says. "I'm just mad at her for not thinking we were close to share stories. We just yell at each other. She should have been diagnosed years ago."

Cammie sucks her teeth. "With what?"

"Best baby making genes." Gwen says in a baby voice to Caden. "You so sweet."

"But I made that though."

Gwen smiles. "With Trey's help."

I chuckle. "Yeah that was me. Sweetness."

"Sugar flowing through your veins. Just freaking sweet." Cammie says cutting me an evil angry look.

"Jayla text your father and tell him not to come. He might feel unwanted and not come."

I chuckle. "I'm sure he already on the way."

Cammie randomly looks down her shirt. She grabs Lane's cup from the table and puts it in her shirt then sigh. Someone clears their throat. I don't know if it was Cammie or her mother. They were both looking at me. I chuckle to myself. A part of me was thinking damn I like Mommy titties. Leaking milk. I turn around and walk out the room. Bout to get hard in front of the wrong mama. Still tryna make her like me. That family is tough at getting close to. I walk into my mama's bedroom.

"Gwen taking your place with the boys." I say.

"I kicked that Chuckie Doll out of here." She snaps. "Bad ass little boy. Opened the gift I had for Forrest. Talking about it's for his brother."

I laugh. "That's where he got those pacifiers?"

She rolls her eyes. "Your wife is right majority of the time when it comes to her kids. Remember that. She knows what she doing. I should've learned how to beat his cute face when he was less mischievous. Not so smart."

"Cammie and her Mama had a talk."

"Good." Ma nods. "Gwen knows her daughter as well. She controls that crazy side."

I nod thinking about the conversation. "Damn were you there?"

"I already know, Tremaine. I didn't have to be there. Best thing you can do for your marriage is get those two back together. I was wrong about Cammie's mother. Just like I was wrong about Cammie. They rub you the wrong way at first."

I nod in agreement. Nothing needed. That's so true.

Rollie

"You trying to piss me off on purpose."

I turn around looking at Leah. "Who?"

She looks me up and down. "You."

"What the fuck you talking about?" I ask calmly.

"Don't worry about it."

I shrug. "Fine."

All I did was walk in the bedroom and open my suitcase. I didn't do anything else. She didn't say anything else. So what am I supposed to say to what? I'm making her mad on purpose. By walking in the room? I check my phone to be sure she didn't send me anything. I don't even know.

"Aye, come here."

"No. You can't erase stuff with your fucking charm."

I sit down facing. "Is it cause you pregnant? What is it?"

"Just leave it alone."

"Yo, come here." I say again. Still trying not to be overly aggressive which I do a lot.

She sucks her teeth then walk over to me but not close enough to touch. "What's the difference between me here and there?"

I stand up going to her. Good question. I walk into her belly on purpose. She like 7 months and it really shows how close she is to having the baby.

"What did I do?"

"Same shit you always do." She snaps. I rub her hips. She battles with herself then gives in. "I tell Jordan no or I take something from her then you come and undo me completely. Take my opinion away like I'm not her mother."

I shrug. "Oh."

"Oh?"

"I thought I did something else." I say then chuckle. "What I did today that I need to fix?"

She folds her arm. "Did you ask why her phone was in here?"

"She just said it was in here. Leah." I pause. "I don't know what she said. I told her to go get her phone."

"She was texting in some group chat with older boys and girls. I don't remember all the shit they were talking about but nobody was filtering anything."

I frown. "Why didn't you tell me?"

She shrugs. "When did I have time, Rollie?"

"I know you did." I nod. "We have a child coming. If you doing all the parent shit alone what you need me for? Talk to me while the shit happening. You should have called me into the room before you took her phone. Now she has to be punished again when we could have done it together the first time."

"Blame it on me."

I slap her thigh then walk away. "Stop whining. I'll be back."

"Rollie?" My mom says stopping in the hallway. "While I'm already being the worst mother on the planet, I minus well talk to you. You probably feel like I did you wrong as well. Well I didn't. But I do want to say that you are being selfish by holding something against me that's your fault. I mean... what I'm saying is I won't take back what I said about you running the streets trying to get yourself killed. You made the decision to continue running the streets instead of getting your life together."

She pauses, maybe for a response. I'm not sure why cause ain't shit to say.

"You could have been anything more than a convicted felon. I never wanted you to limit yourself to that. Your father wouldn't have it. But anyway. I really want to be in your life. You are still my baby boy. My only son. My first child. The first person I knew I would have and love forever. Nobody was there for you more than me your whole life. So yeah... I'm a bitch I know. But you aren't too far from the block in a male sense. You just stubborn."

I shrug. "Okay."

"Okay, nothing Rollie." She snaps.

"So what do you want?" I shrug. These fucking women.

She giggles. "A hug."

I frown my face. A fucking hug? "Okay, Cheesy."

I hug her short ass. I don't know who this lady is that wants to work on her fucking attitude. Never has she wanted to work with people to correct the shit her ass has done. But she saying let's forget the shit in the past. I'm okay with that. I do want her to be in my child's life. She was a great mother. Like she said she was always there for me when I was doing right. I'm just getting my damn life together.

"I can make you feel better and be a man about mine. I should have listened to you. Finished high school and went to college."

"You aren't even 40. You can be everything you could have been at 20." She smiles patting my back. "I'm sorry we had to go through so much to undo a broken heart. I should have just... I don't know. Don't know what I should have done."

I hug her tighter. My mother was probably 5'5 with 6' heels. I look down at her teeth. Top of her head came to my shoulders and she had on shoes. I never thought about what I would do if my mother came to me apologetic or whatever the hell she calls this. Didn't expect it. But she my mama at the end of the day and I would go broke paying someone else to wipe her ass if she needed it. I guess we all growing up.

"Are we done here? You soft."

She walks away abruptly. I don't know about this suddenly redemption shit. It's all good though. Like I said I want her in my child's life. She fucking spoils Lane and he adores her like his other grandma. So I can try.

"Why are you standing in the hallway, Rollie? I just knew you weren't doing what you should have been." Leah whines. "Can you get my food from the front door?"

"Yeah." I say walking away. "Then do what?"

She sucks her teeth. "Get your daughter."

"Oh." I say walking away then cutting my eyes back towards her.

When she became my daughter? Before we was mad about her being my daughter. Now she calling her that. Jordan sees me coming and hides.

"I heard what mommy said. Don't come get me."

"Go to your mother." I say walking to the front.

She whines. "She won't listen. She just yells."

"I'm coming in there. Give me that phone then go stand near the door. Wait for me."

"You said I could get it." She whines.

"Don't make this hard on us."

She stomps out the room leaving her phone on the couch. I sigh.

"Get back in here. I said give it to me."

"Not fair." She whispers.

I take the phone from her. "Stop acting."

Know she doesn't get in trouble. Might get this piece of shit taken for a night. She has a damn tablet anyway. I walk to the front door and take the food. She could have told me it wasn't paid for. I go dig through Cammie's purse and take a 50 dollar bill from a stack. Look at this shit. Fucking rich ass. I'll tell her. Maybe.

[criminalhotch]

Frenemies and Fairy Tales~ A Grayson Dolan Imagine

A/N: This is Part 5 to An Old Flame. This a little bit before Ethan’s wedding and then his wedding but there’s a bit of drama just to make it spicy. Honestly, this is more Ethan than Grayson but it’s part of the series because I feel bad that those in Ethan’s lane are left to dry so it’s got a lot of Ethan and part of it is in his POV. I have some of Part 6 so hopefully, that is up later this week!

An Old Flame

Little Black Dress

My Home is You

Feelings and Emotions

Warnings: swearing, fluff (like major Ethan feels), drama

Word Count:4630

(Early July~July 4th)

Tomorrow is July 4th and tonight is Brooke’s bachelorette party. Tomorrow we have Grayson’s family 4th Celebration. Which my parents are coming to, so they decided not to have one. We decided because Brooke was marrying Ethan of all people she deserved to have penis-themed bachelorette party. I was not in her bridal party, but we had grown very close in the time I had been with Gray. I mean we are going to be in-laws one day, right? Her maid of honor was her sister, Aspen. Then she had two friends she had known for years, Rebecca and Sarah. Lastly is Cameron, the twins’ older sister. It was those four and me helping decorate for the party while Gray watched the kids. I got text updates every now and again. Cameron and Aspen were making the food while her friends and I oversaw decorating. I had gone to the bathroom and on my way back I heard them talking, specifically about Brooke. “I don’t know how Brooke managed to get Ethan” Sarah said. “I know that he is so out of her league. He could do so much better and I bet his dick is huge” Rebecca snickered. I sat for a second and continued to listen. I knew eavesdropping wasn’t right, but neither was shit talking about your “friend” who is getting married soon. “I know, he could have either of us and we’d be so much better and make him so much happier” Sarah admitted. I grabbed my phone and began recording. “Honestly he is probably only with her because her dad is so rich, that’s why I have been friends with her so long” Rebecca sneered. “I know, me too. They always get us stuff especially after she put us in her wedding. I will do anything to keep getting bomb ass gifts from her parents” Sarah added. I knew I didn’t have long until they would think I was taking too long. “I wonder how loyal Ethan really is? I mean for as hot as he is he can get whoever he wants, and he settled for Brooke. I bet he would take a nice upgrade on the side” Rebecca questioned. “I don’t know, maybe we should try at the wedding, that way we’re drunk, and we can play it off” Sarah coerced. “I don’t know but I mean we could and if he says no maybe we can get his twin brother too, what was his name? Garret? Gideon?” Rebecca suggested. “It’s Grayson, and he is dating Y/N” Sarah told her. My blood began to boil, no one I mean no one came between Gray and me. “He is too hot for her as well but that is beside the point” Rebecca started laughing and Sarah joined her. I quickly shut off the recording and walked in. “Sorry I took so long, Bentley wanted to talk to me for a minute” I told them, lying through my teeth. “Oh no, problem. Being a mom must be so hard sometimes” Sarah consoled. Oh, this bitch. “Yeah, it can be sometimes but it’s worth it” I explained. The rest of the night went on without a hitch. I knew that even though it was going to mess a lot of shit up that I had to tell Brooke. I wasn’t sure how or when I would tell her, but it needed to be sooner rather than later.

I drove home the next morning and contemplated if I should tell Brooke that night at the party at Gray and E’s parents, but I didn’t want to ruin her night with everyone, so I decided to wait. The girls had cute 4th of July dresses and Bentley had a nice red, white, and blue outfit. Gray and Ethan helped their dad grill. Brooke, Cameron, and I helped Lisa with the inside food while my parents watched the kids play on the swing set outside. I loved family and I couldn’t wait for the day that Gray’s family was officially mine too. Gray looked so hot standing over the grill in a “suns out guns out” tank top that exposed his bulging biceps so well. Ethan who was slightly paler and not as muscular looked good too, but I was more focused on Grayson, obviously. Lisa disrupted my thoughts “Quit gawking over my son and cut up these onions”. I felt my face turn beet red. “Sorry” I giggled. “It’s ok, I get it. I still catch myself staring at Sean like I haven’t known him for over 20 years. It’s called love” she admitted. “I know I catch myself staring at Ethan all of the time. We have been together for three years now and get married next month but I still catch myself mesmerized by him. You guys did an incredible job raising your boys” Brooke said. “Dude what about me?” Cameron defended. “You were implied, duh” Brooke added then we all started laughing.

After we ate there were a lot of backyard games to play. We spent the next hour or so doing that waiting for the sun to go down so we could set off the fireworks. Bentley fell asleep at like 8:30 so way before the fireworks but I decided I would try to wake him closer to time. Gray came up to me, “Hey, have you seen mom or dad?” he asked. “No, why?” I replied. “The girls are getting eaten up by these bugs. I wanted to see if my parents had any spray” he explained. “My mom used some earlier. It’s on the table over there” I pointed towards the patio table. “Awesome, you’re the best,” he said pressing a kiss to my cheek. I have known him for years and he still manages to make my heart flutter and give me butterflies in my tummy. It started getting dark, so I found Bentley asleep on Grayson’s old bed. “B, it’s almost time for fireworks then we will go home. Do you want to watch them?” I asked. He groaned then his eyes fluttered open. “Do I get a sparkwer?” he asked. “Yes, you can have a sparkler if you have an adult help you” I chuckled at his innocence and he hopped out of the bed. He walked about a foot ahead of me the whole way outside. That kid loved his sparklers. He quickly found Grayson with both girls, both had unlit sparklers in their hands. “Wait!” Bentley yelled, and Grayson looked in our direction. “Do you want one?” Gray asked him, and he nodded. “Is mommy ok with that?” he asked then looking at me. “Yes, just make sure he is careful,” I said. The kids had a blast playing with their sparklers. “I am about to set off these fireworks!” Sean yelled. It had gotten dark quickly and it was time. The kids were all sat at our feet as Grayson wrapped his arms around my waist and rest his chin on the top of my head. We all watched in awe as the multicolored bombs of sulfur erupted in the air. “I love you,” Grayson said in my ear in between fireworks. I couldn’t help but smile. “I love you too Gray,” I said tilting my head back and kissing his jaw. Soon enough the fireworks came to an end and it was time to go home. We were gathering up the kids as my mom and dad came up to me. “Alright sweetie, it is time for your dad and me to head out,” she said as they both hugged me. “Grayson and I aren’t that far behind you; the kids are all tired and grumpy,” I said. “Ok, then we will see you guys later,” they said as they headed to their car. “Night mom, night dad,” I said. “Night Y/N,” they said as they shut the door. Gray and I headed home shortly after with three sleepy kids.

All the kids were changed into heir jammies and fast asleep in their beds. Gray walked into the room his hair disheveled and his eyes droopy. “You look tired babe” I commented. “I am,” he said crawling into bed. “Gray?” I asked. “Yes beautiful?” he asked looking up at me. “So, the other night at Brooke’s bachelorette party I heard her friends talking shit about her,” I told him. “Really?” he asked. “Yes, and I don’t know how to tell Brooke” I admitted. “Should you tell her?” he asked. “Of course, Grayson! Why wouldn’t I? I wouldn’t want two backstabbers standing next to me at my wedding” I said defensively. “What did they say?” he asked. “Just listen,” I told him as I grabbed my phone and played the recording. “Ok first off those girls are-excuse my language-but they are bitches,” he said right as he finished listening to the recording. “Yes, honey I know,” I told him. “I’ll call E in the morning,” he told me. “Ok, she is going to be so upset, and her wedding is in like a month,” I said. “Yes, but she is going to appreciate you telling her instead of hiding it,” he said. “That’s true” I admitted. “You know I would never in a million years want to be with anyone else, especially them, right?” he asked me. “I know, Gray. Me either but just hearing them say that they had a chance to get with my man made my blood boil” I told him. “You’re so hot when you’re mad” he teased. “She just doesn’t deserve that shit, Grayson,” I said. “I know, baby. I know. She is so good for E and I am so glad he found someone to even out his crazy but also match it. They are so good for each other. I am sure she has other people to fill their spots in the wedding” he said. “I hope so,” I told him as he pulled me into him. Tomorrow was going to freaking suck.

 I woke up the next morning to Grayson on the phone with Ethan. “Hey what are you doing today?” I heard the younger twin ask the older one. “Alright cool, you want to come over later?” he asked, and I am assuming Ethan agreed. “Are they both coming?” I asked.  “Eventually but Brooke has to go to her parents for some wedding stuff,” Gray told me. “Alright sounds good,” I told him. “You want me to make you breakfast, Gray?” “I rather have you, but we don’t have time for all that” he smirked. “Grayson” I scolded. “What I can’t help that you’re so sexy” he shrugged. “Eggs, bacon, and toast then?” I asked, and he nodded while laughing. “Is E eating too?” I wondered. “I don’t know but I’d make him some” Grayson answered. Right as I finished plating the kids’ food Ethan walked in. “Y/N,” he said. “Ethan” I returned. “Where’s Gray?” he asked. “Getting the kids for breakfast” I explained. “Cool, did you make some for me by chance? I mean if there’s not enough it’s all good” he said putting his hands in the air. “I made sure there was enough for you, E,” I told him. “Ah damn, Y/N you’re the best!” he said hugging me. “Help yourself the kid’s plates are made,” I told him gesturing to the fresh food. “Alright thanks,” he said digging in. The kids strutted in soon after followed by Grayson. “Hey, bro” Gray said to Ethan. “Sup Gray,” he said in return. “I see you came hungry” Gray chuckled. “Duh, Y/N has always been a great cook!” he said. “Thanks,” I said giving the kids their plates. We all finished breakfast and Grayson did the dishes following. I gave him the last few dishes. “Do you want me to talk to Ethan?” he asked. “Can we do it together?” I asked. “Of course,” he said kissing my head. “Uncle Ethan!” Addy said excitedly. “Yes?” he smiled. He was so good with the kids, all of them. “I am so excited to wear my dress for your wedding!” she said. “I’m excited to see you and your sister in your pretty dresses. You guys are going to look gorgeous” he complimented, and the girls giggled. “I bet your dad cries,” he told the girls. “Daddy, are you going to cry at Uncle Ethan’s wedding?” Lia asked. “I don’t know, girls. I hope not” Gray chuckled. The kids started watching cartoons so Gray and I pulled Ethan aside. “What’s going on?” he asked. “So, when we were setting up for Brooke’s bachelorette party I heard Sarah and Rebecca talking about you and Brooke” I started. “Was it bad?” he asked. “Yeah, it was. They were like how did Brooke get someone as hot as Ethan and that you could get anyone but you settled for her. They said you were out of her league and they started talking about your dick size. They also said that either of them would make you so much happier then I started recording it, just listen” I told him handing the phone to him. He finished the recording and looked at me. “Wow, just wow,” he said to me. “Thanks for telling me. Brooke is going to be so hurt” E said. “I know that’s why I wanted you to know first,” I said. “I hope she knows that I’d never want either of them especially now. I hope she knows how much I love her and that I can’t wait to make her my wife” he sulked. “She knows, E. We’ve talked about it and she can’t wait to be your wife, but it may be a good idea to, I don’t know maybe do something nice for her in the near future. She’ going to be rather upset” I said. “Good idea” he smiled. “You should go get stuff to make her night better” Gray suggested. “Like what?” Ethan asked. “I don’t know like some ice cream, cookies, movies, whatever comforting things she likes and we can have a fun night in with the kids,” Gray told him. “Alright, I’ll be right back,” he said heading out the door. He was going to be such a good husband to her.

 He returned half an hour later with a bouquet of flowers, chocolates, popcorn, ice cream, three comedy movies, a box of discount 4th of July cookies, and a dozen cupcakes. “Ethan, did you rob the store?” I asked him while chuckling. “I wanted to make sure I got what she wanted but that it was enough for everyone” he explained. “That was a nice thought,” I said. “She just got here,” he said. She walked in soon enough. We had hidden everything, so she wasn’t questioning it. “Hey, can we talk?” I asked her, and she followed me to Grayson’s room. “So, the other day before your party, Rebecca and Sarah started talking about your relationship with Ethan” I started, and she interrupted me. “What did they say?” she asked. I explained it to her then had her listen to the recording. She started crying and I hugged her. “I can’t believe I asked them to be in my wedding?” she sobbed. “You picked the wrong people to stand beside you not the wrong person to marry, remember that” I reminded her. “They’re right, Ethan is out of my league” she sniffled. “Brooke, sweetie. He loves you and I know you love him. I told him what happened before you got here, and he left so he could get stuff to make you feel better. They are jealous bitches. You deserve Ethan just as much as he deserves you” I told her, and she hugged me. There was a knock at the door. “Come in,” I said, and Ethan walked in. “Hey, angel” Ethan cooed. “I love you, Brooke,” he said. “Nothing they said or do will change that. There’s a reason you have that ring on your finger and why I spent 50 dollars at the store before you got here” he said to her. “He got some movies too if you want to stay here and hang out with us” Gray added. She smiled and then nodded. “I love you guys but first I’ve got to kick some bitches out of MY wedding because it’s MY day with MY man and no one is going to ruin that,” she said grabbing her phone. “Gray and I will go downstairs,” I said. “No stay here” she requested, and I nodded.

 She called Sarah who just happened to be with Rebecca. “Hey, Brooke. What’s up?” Sarah asked. “Oh, not much, you?” she asked. “Just hanging out at Rebecca’s,” Sarah told her. “Oh, good then, I will only have to do this once. You both are the fakest bitches I have ever met. Do NOT come to my wedding or the reception. Do NOT call me, Ethan, Y/N, Grayson, our parent's NO ONE. I wish to never see or speak to either of you ever again. Delete my number from your phone, forget my address, and erase me from your thoughts. Both of you are dead to me. I am so glad I realized your true colors before I had you stand next to me at my wedding” she ranted, and they were both speechless. “Brooke-we” Rebecca started. “Don’t I don’t want or need an explanation. If you want to talk shit about someone don’t do it when their sister in law is in the other room” Brooke said. “She’s not your sister in law” Sarah argued. “I didn’t ask for your opinion but seems how you give one without anyone asking, I did want to tell you that Ethan’s dick is fucking huge and I can’t wait for him to wreck me later and every night for the rest of our lives right, babe?” she asked Ethan as Grayson and I had to hold back our laughter. “Yes, baby. I’m all yours until the day I die” Ethan said kissing her loudly. Click. “They hung up” she laughed and then we all started laughing along with her. “That was so funny,” I said. “Damn, Brooke. I didn’t know you were that feisty” Gray said. “Gray, there’s lots about Brooke you don’t know” Ethan smirked. “Ethan!” Brooke shouted. “Babe, you just told your ex-friends about my dick,” he said back. They laughed and kissed once more. “So, now there are two openings in my bridal party” Brooke started saying. “Yes, there is. Do you know who you want to fill them?” I asked. “Yes, actually” she admitted. “Who?” Grayson asked. “Y/N, will you take Sarah’s spot? You guys are super close to the same size and I would love for you to be next to me” she admitted. “I’d love to” I smiled, and she hugged me. “I mean, you won’t walk down with Gray, but it’ll still be fun,” she said. “Sure, but who will I walk with?” I asked. “James,” Ethan said. “Alright sounds good to me!” I said.

(A/N: Everyone is exactly how I imagine it except Bentley. Replace the red tie with the pink one and the red converse with navy blue ones then it’s exactly how I describe it!)

Ethan and Brooke’s wedding day had finally arrived. The boys’ suits are navy blue with pink ties. The bridesmaid dresses were long and navy blue. Addison and Amelia’s flower girl dresses had gold sequins at the top then a blush pink skirt. Bentley’s ring bearer outfit was navy blue pant with a white button up and suspenders with a blush pink bow tie. The girls had gold sequin flats and Bentley wore navy blue converse.  We had spent all morning doing hair and makeup. We got up around 8 while we took turns showering. It was Brooke, Aspen (her sister), Cameron, Brooke’s cousin, Grace, and then me. We also had Addy and Lia with us. The girls had bathed the night before so that was out of the way. We had breakfast at 9:30. We started hair around 10 and the wedding was to start at 3:30. We all had picked different hairstyles and slightly different makeup ideas. All the bridesmaids went first then Brooke followed by the girls. Grayson had been texting me all day.

G: One day it’ll be our wedding.

I can’t wait to see how my beautiful girls look, all three of you

I bet you’d look even more beautiful in a wedding dress

Y/N: Grayson, focus on Ethan, not me.

G: No, you’re prettier and smell nicer

Y: Thank you but we have lots do. I’ll see you later

G: Fine but I love you

Y: I love you too, G

 The 3 o’clock hour rolled around quicker than we thought. “We’re ready for you guys” Brooke’s mom, Cathy told us. We were lined up on one side of the door as the boys came up to us. We already had our bouquets. Ethan was already in the sanctuary waiting. “You look so gorgeous,” someone said behind me, someone being Grayson. “You look so handsome, Gray,” I said kissing him on the cheek. “Daddy!” the girls yelled. “Wow, you guys look beautiful,” Grayson said kissing their heads, tears welling in his eyes. “Daddy, you’ll mess up our hair,” Lia said. “Sorry, sorry,” he said sticking his hands up. “How’s Uncle Ethan?” Addy asked. “Excited,” he said to the girls as Lisa took them to the back of the line to wait with Bentley. “How’s he really?” I asked. “He’s excited, nervous but he’s ready,” Gray said. “You know I always thought it would be us first or even Cameron,” I said. “You’re not the only one babe” Grayson chuckled. We all got with our partners. First was Grayson and Aspen, James and I, Bryant and Grace, and then Brooke’s older brother, Tyler, and Cameron. Then the twins followed by Bentley with a sign that said, “Uncle Ethan Here Comes Your Girl” in fancy letters.

Ethan’s POV

The entrance music started, and my nerves started to rise. I hoped everything with Sarah and Rebecca didn’t psych out Brooke. I loved her, and nothing was going to change that. Seeing Grayson first really calmed my nerves down. No matter what, through heartbreak, kids, and marriages he was my best friend. He made his way up to me standing at the altar. “You got this E,” he said, and it calmed me even more. “She loves you, bro”. Next was Y/N and James. “Damn” Gray muttered. “We sure know how to pick ‘em” Gray whispered. “Mhmm” I hummed. Next was Bryant and Grace. This seemed to be taking forever I just wanted to see Brooke. Lastly came Tyler and Cameron. Cameron gave me a smile which also made me feel better. Next came the girls and I hope like hell our kids are as beautiful as my nieces. They are honestly one of the biggest blessings in my life. Even though they aren’t mine they have taught me so much. Next was Bentley, holding his sign which was my idea. Once Bentley made his way up to the front the typical wedding song began to play.

I look up to see my beautiful bride. Her wedding gown accenting every one of her best features. The dress was so beautiful yet simple much like her. Her hair flowing down to her chest, the flow of her gown all the way to her feet, she was mesmerizing. She smiled at me and I lost it. I had always thought Grayson was the better twin. Better looking, better with his feelings, better with kids, better with almost everything but here I am getting married first to the most beautiful bride. All of a sudden, I feel something drops on my suit. “You’re crying, E” Gray whispers. I stepped down and took Brooke’s hand from her parents. I was so thankful for the fact that her parents and I got along so well. Her dad gave me a wink and a small smile then the ceremony then began.

“Who gives this lovely bride away?” asked the officiant. “Her mother and I do,” said Brooke’s dad. “Friends, family, and loved ones we are gathered here today to witness the love of these two wonderful souls. Before you, we have Ethan and Brooke” the officiant started. I tuned out for a moment in disbelief. The ceremony went on and soon enough it was time for vows. We decided to write our own. “Ethan you will be going first in sharing your vows”. I pulled out my paper so I wouldn’t forget. “Brooke, I fell in love with you the day we met. I fell in love with your eyes and your smile first. Then your laugh and your personality. Soon enough I fell in love with us. I’ve known for a while that I wanted to marry you. We have had our ups and downs and I know those won’t go away but we will push through them. Brooke, I can’t promise you that I’ll be perfect or that I’ll always know what I am doing but I promise to love you in every way possible, to care for you, to support you, to cherish our time together, to appreciate the relationship we have built, and to help you in any way imaginable. I love you so much and you are the most beautiful bride. Therefore, you are going to make the most amazing mother to our future children and I can’t wait to see what our future as husband and wife entails.” I said looking up at her with a tear rolling down her cheek. Now it was her turn. “Ethan, to say I fell in love with you is ironic because of the way we met. You had managed to drop a gallon of milk at the store and I being oblivious as I am didn’t see it, so I fell straight on my butt. I am sure you watched in horror from down the aisle as I fell but you were so kind and apologetic it melted my heart. You continue to melt my heart, in the same way, every day. You are so caring and selfless. You are also the biggest idiot I have ever met-Amen!” Cameron interrupted me, and the entire room started laughing. “Anyway, you may be an idiot, but you are my idiot. I promise to love you unconditionally, support you wholeheartedly, care for you tenderly, and encourage you regularly. I promise to hold your hand often, to hold your heart with care, and to keep your soul alive until the day I die. I love you E” she finished and I couldn’t help but smile. I think I just fell in love with her all over again. “Do you Brooke Anne Richards take Ethan Grant Dolan to be your lawfully wedded husband for as long as you both shall live?” “I do,” she said. “Do you Ethan Grant Dolan take Brooke Anne Richards to be your lawfully wedded wife for as long as you both shall live?” “Of course, I do” I smiled at my beautiful soon-to-be wife. “I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may now kiss the bride!” “My pleasure” I smirked as pulled Brooke into a deep kiss. Our first kiss as husband and wife. I have never been so high on life as I listen to the cheers of our closest friends and family. We stopped and started walking down the aisle. I stopped a couple feet before the threshold and picked her up bridal style. “Always a drama queen!” she yelled and everyone laughed as we headed out of the church. “Well hello there, Mrs. Dolan,” I said. “And hello to you Mr. Dolan,” she said and I kissed her again. I am so glad that I can finally call her my wife. It has such a better ring than girlfriend or fiancé.

[livingmybestfakelife]

You Never Miss a Good Thing

summary: Erik’s risky bad boy ways finally cost him his marriage.

“Ma’am you do realize that you’re going to be walking away with absolutely nothing?” You nod at Erik’s lawyer “Yes sir I understand, I’ve already explained to your client that he can have his money, the house and anything else of value, all I ask is that he pay child support for our daughter” Erik’s lawyer nods, you don’t pay attention to whatever else his lawyer is saying to him, and Erik is zoning in and out as well, he’s mostly just looking at you with sad regretful eyes, no matter how many times he’s begged and pleaded for a second chance you just couldn’t, you’ve forgiven him but you would never to be able to trust him again, he destroyed it.

“Alright, we’ve pretty much covered everything for today, until our next session” your lawyer says and you rush out of the door, once you’re in the parking lot you hear Erik’s voice “YN wait, yo YN!” you walk faster to your car and struggle to get your keys out of your purse “YN please just let me-” “Erik please, I have to go pick up Farrah from school” you go to click the unlock button but he holds your hand “Let go of me Erik!” “YN please just, listen to me for a second” you yank your hand from him and get inside of the car and leave. You didn’t want to hear it, he hurt you in the worst way, when you went crying to your mother after hearing the news she held back wanting to say she told you so, she went through the same crap with your dad, no Erik didn’t cheat on you, that would have hurt you less than what he actually did, and that was him and his friends/crew robbing and blowing up a federal bank, one that your brother worked in an almost died in, luckily he somehow was able to get out in time with a few second degree burns on his torso, he was alive but he almost didn’t make it, it was a plan Erik had talked about for weeks, once you found out it was your brothers bank you begged him not to hit up that one, that you didn’t want your brother hurt, and he said he wouldn’t but turned around and did, you screamed, yelled and cried when you saw Erik show up to the hospital, this was the final straw, you were done with this, if he didn’t mind risking his own brother-in-law, someone who he was so close to, then whose to say he wouldn’t do the same to you or your child, he was hurt when you told him that, telling you that he’d never hurt his family, but you didn’t want to hear it, this wasn’t a life you wanted her to grow up in.

The divorce was finalized a month later, and it was difficult for Farrah to adjust to a new routine, she didn’t fully understand a divorce, the seven year old only knew that her mommy and daddy weren’t living in the same house anymore, she hated the back and forth, you having her four days out of the week and him three, though that would sometimes vary, if it was something that Farrah wanted to do then you both would be with her together since she wanted it that way. One night while Erik was getting her ready for bed she asked him “Daddy do you and mama not love each other anymore?” “Baby why do you think that?” “Well you’re not together anymore, does that mean that you hate each other?” he shook his head and lifted her up and put her in the bed “Nah baby girl it doesn’t mean that, when you get older you will understand how this works more, but know this, your mama and I don’t hate each other, I love your mama and she loves me, we’re just in two different lanes now, and most of all we love you, we always gonna be a family no matter how far apart we are” she smiles up at him and he leans down to kiss her goodnight. Once he gets back to his room he checks his phone to see that you called, he calls you back and waits for you to pick up “Hello, Erik?” “Yeah it’s me, you alright?” you take a deep breath “Yeah I’m okay, sorry I know it’s late and-” “Nah nah you good, what’s up?” he was excited to hear from you, in spite of everything you two still talked on the regular, it was like you both were friends all over again, it helped more when your brother had forgiven him and let bygones be bygones, it especially helped when he didn’t press charges, plus he was one of very few working that day and no one really got hurt, the fire not doing much damage as the crew anticipated.

“You gave me too much money in the check” “Too much?” “Uh, yeah, remember we agreed on 500?” he nods as if you can see him “Yeah I know, but you know with her schools tuition, and the new dance class she’s in all that adds up, I know you got a good job and everything but...you know” “Yeah, I understand, I mean I make good money but I’d also like to keep it” you joke and you both laugh “Thanks Erik, but really 2,000?” “I got you ma, don’t worry about it” you smile and look at the time “Well thanks again, and uh I’ll let you go it’s getting late” “Right, goodnight sweetheart” you smile again “Goodnight Erik” you hang up and let out a deep sigh while staring at the check, he was most certainly right about all that stuff adding up, you two made an agreement during the divorce proceedings to go half on Farrah’s school tuition, but you see now that he was covering the majority of it, he might have failed as a husband but he was a very good dad and you couldn’t take that away from him.

[annashipper]

Sojourner Anon Submission

I’m in a similar situation to the Confused Anon - I’ve known about Benedict Cumberbatch since 2007 (Atonement), and had seen him in a bunch of stuff over the years prior to Sherlock, but wasn’t impressed enough with his acting to take an interest in him until Doctor Strange and TLD (it helped that he was smoking hot in both of these - scruff really does wonders for his face). Naturally my first course of action was to go on a bender through Tumblr for a couple of months, which is how I wound up on skeptic blogs. I’d seen pictures of Benedict with his wife in the past (mostly from the 2015 awards season) and I was aware that there existed a faction of fans that didn’t like her - mostly because of something that had happened to a friend of mine about two years ago.

I don’t wanna go into too many details, since I don’t want to expose her to more hate, so I’ll keep it simple: she’s a huge Benedict fan, not a UK resident but got to stay there for a while back in 2015, during which time she saw Sophie and the baby at some kind of event she (my friend, that is) attended - something that got her torn apart by the skeptics. Now, I’ve known this woman for ages. I’ll grant you that she’s a nanny, but most of her friends are, at best, very casual fans. She’s not a BNF, nor an attention-seeker or a consummate liar, so I find it truly hard to believe she’d make up something like that. There was literally nothing for her to be gained by saying she’d seen Benedict’s wife and baby (I doubt she’s on his PR’s payroll, considering she’s not someone followed by a ton of fans or anything remotely close).

I’ve seen the uncensored pap pics where you can see the face of the child being carried. His resemblance to Benedict is almost uncanny, which is saying something because Benedict doesn’t exactly have a very common face. If they really did hire someone, they did one hell of a job finding a kid who looked like the biological son of both parents.

Furthermore, I agree with what Confused Anon had to say. It’s one thing to get your friends and family to cover for you, but this is a man who’s constantly surrounded by virtual strangers that don’t owe him shit. There’s nothing stopping them from going to the press, and yet not even CDAN will publish a blind contending Benedict’s children are a lie (when it had no problems publishing such things about other celebs).

And what happens down the line, if he did create a fake family? They’re too young right now, but in a few years Benedict’s gonna be expected to discuss funny anecdotes about his children on talk shows - like that cute gifset you recently shared, with all the Marvel actors saying how their kids were embarrassed by them. You can bet your ass someone’s gonna ask Benedict what his sons think about him being Doctor Strange, and people will wonder why he’s not bringing them on set like other Marvel actors… and later, he’ll have to start regularly showing up in public with them, or gossip rags are gonna wonder aloud how come he never brings his children to any public events, like others do with theirs.

I don’t pretend to know what spurred this relationship, although I do have a theory that he panicked as he was nearing 40 with no kids and just jumped at the first opportunity to be a father, maybe hoping he’d learn to love Sophie along the way. Sadly, I’ve met couples like that IRL… but I digress. Whatever the real reason, it can’t have involved a fake pregnancy, or he would’ve said “not mine” a long time ago and jumped ship. At this point, that kind of admission would destroy his public image and career for a very long time, possibly even for good, so unless Benedict is EXTREMELY stupid - and he doesn’t come off that way to me - there’d have to be at least one child.

And yes, I’ve seen the photo collages of her pregnancy. I too have been pregnant and given birth, but unlike the rest of your mom anons, I don’t think that makes me an authority on either pregnancies or babies. No self-respecting medical professional would opine on a stranger’s pregnancy by just looking at photos, and neither should laymen who only have anecdotal evidence at their disposal. In other words, sorry, but drawing outlines on pictures isn’t how gynecologists determine pregnancy.

I’ve seen how you react to people who disagree with you, so I just wanted to say upfront that I’m not really expecting a serious answer beyond a sarcastic gif or sending me to those archives that don’t actually answer anything. My infatuation with Benedict has already begun to subside (I mean, it’s been almost six months, there’s only so long I can fangirl). I had five minutes to burn on my daily commute and that Confused Anon was something of a catalyst, so I dropped you a line. Have a great day, Anna, I hope both you and Benedict find happiness in your lives. (Please accept my apologies if this comes out too long, incoherent or misspelled; English isn’t my first or even second language).

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hi Sojourner Anon!

First off, since you’ve seen how I react to people who disagree with me, you probably already know enough to expect a serious answer from me when you’re being as cordial as you have been.  I reserve sarcasm and snark for the obviously baity Anons who’re just looking for trouble.

Anyway, as your submission has indeed come out a bit long, I’m going to try to keep this as short as possible and simply address the points you’re making in the order that you made them:

Regarding your friend and her being torn apart by Skeptics, I don’t expect you to be aware of this since you’ve only just recently discovered the Skeptical community for yourself, but we have a long standing rule about sightings.  They have to make sense (to at least be taken seriously) and they have to come with photographic evidence attached (to be believed and included in confirmed sightings).  As I don’t know what your friend saw and where, it is impossible for me to argue whether what she saw was legitimate or not.  The one sighting of Weirdo and Pilo at an event I can remember, is the one where Weirdo supposedly took (a very young) Pilo (at the time) to an Ian Mc Kellen reading, and that’s simply because there was a lot of back and forth about it being legit.  Skeptics who are much more social media savvy than I am and have far higher powers of Google Fu than I do were able to find multiple pictures from the inside of the venue and ... guess what:  No matter how many brunette women the Nans pointed to as being Weirdo, it turned out she wasn’t in the audience.  If this is not the sighting you’re alluding to, I would be more than happy to discuss this with you privately in case you’re inclined to provide me with more details.  

On the matter of your friend being torn apart by Skeptics, let me also add that I personally have never ventured outside of Tumblr for any reason whatsoever and have made it a point to try to deter my fellow Skeptics from doing so as well.  For the record, all real Skeptics know how to stay in our lane.  The ones who don’t are not considered real Skeptics (and yes, there are a number of trolls who have infiltrated the community since the beginning of this showmance and are posing as Skeptics just to make us look bad).

I’ve seen the unblurred pics of Rent-A-Pilo’s face too.  At first I had the same reaction as you did.  I thought Rent-A-Pilo looked remarkably similar to Ben and went on record saying so (on a post which I haven’t deleted, because I don’t delete posts).  Here is the LINK.  Notice how even immediately after seeing Rent-A-Pilo’s face for the first time and posting under shock I still didn’t believe Weirdo had gestated a real human baby?  I still don’t.  

Seeing how the pillows are only ever mentioned / trotted out when Daddy needs to sell a new project or Mommy throws a tantrum to get a new pap walk, I don’t believe they’re surrogate children either.  I just think they’re imaginary.  It goes hand in hand with the fact that Ben knows next to nothing about babies.  2 hour skyping sessions with a 5 month old, filthy props from a movie set being used as teethers by a 10 month old and babies eating sliced apples are only some of the things Ben doesn’t seem to understand are not the norm for children of Pilo’s age.  I won’t even mention the lack of bathtime.

I don’t think Ben is extremely stupid.  I think Ben is extremely desperate not to come off as a man who faked a relationship / engagement / wedding / pregnancy / fatherhood for an Oscar he didn’t even come close to winning because he simply chose an unstable famewhore to play the part of his red carpet girlfriend.

I have to say I’m disappointed you don’t see fit to counter any of the arguments we pose via the bump comparisons you mentioned seeing as you’ve obviously studied them.  I have been posting / reblogging / arguing using these bump comparisons as evidence that Weirdo faked the first pregnancy for the better part of the past two years and not a single Anon has ever offered a convincing counter-argument regarding how ridiculous Weirdo looked with a bump that kept inflating / deflating / changing shapes / inflating again / folding over / disappearing altogether / inflating again / staying the same size during the last trimester of that weird pregnancy.  I would really like to hear your thoughts on that if you feel inclined to have a mature back and forth about it.  Be forewarned:  arguments such as “I can’t accept anyone would be crazy enough to fake a pregnancy like that while being papped left and right” and anecdotal evidence such as “my sister’s friend’s mother’s cousin’s (twice removed) never developed breasts / never got swollen ankles / belly kept deflating / bellybutton kept popping out and in and out again, etc” won’t be taken seriously.  For obvious reasons.

I hope the above answers some of your questions about my take on this showmance and I apologise for getting a bit snarky regarding the pregnancy that never was on my last paragraph, but faking that pregnancy is a very sensitive subject for me personally.

I have a couple of very close friends who have been trying to conceive and I know how taxing it’s been on them.  Let’s just say a famewhore faking a pregnancy just to establish herself in the public eye rubs me the wrong way.  

It’s why I keep coming back to the first pregnancy (which we got to document through numerous pap walks unlike the second one), it’s why I’ll keep calling Weirdo ... weirdo and it’s why I intend on remaining an active Skeptic for the foreseeable future.

Apologies to everyone reading this blog as I think my answer to Sojourner Anon may actually be longer than her submission was.  What can I say?  I’m a rambler...

[mittensmorgul]

5.16: *cue horrifying yet somehow disturbingly humorous montage of all of Sam and Dean’s deaths to this point* *shakes fist at 3.11 and 4.08*

Yep, this is another one of those episodes I have really already covered, and recently, in multiple posts on s12... *waves hello at Dabb again* *gee I wonder why this episode has had so much relevance in s12? we may never know >.>*

Heaven, the Samulet, Joshua, the incredibly squicky idea that John and Mary were “soul mates” based on the gross cupid touch making them into the “perfect couple” because they weren’t “perfect” until after Mary was dead, Dean and Sam’s VASTLY DIFFERENT notions of “happy memories” and the fact their heavens are sort of each other’s version of hell (i.e. Sam and Dean are not soul mates, they are absolutely repulsed by each other’s heavens), the fact that Heaven is a construct that we apply our own personalities and experiences to in order to perceive it:

*again under a cut, because wtf is wrong with me, I keep saying “I have already talked this into the ground” about every episode, but apparently I’m trying to talk it straight through to the other side of the planet. I suspect I’ll be bobbing up in the Indian Ocean any minute now*

This is why, once Dean “broke out of his heaven” and set out on the Axis Mundi to find Sam’s heaven, it didn’t look like a pristine white corridor the way Heaven seems to look to the angels (or just in s10 and later, or whatever).

Castiel: Some people see a tunnel or a river. What do you see? Dean: Nothing. My dash. I’m in my car. I’m on a road. Castiel: Alright. A road. For you it’s a road. Follow it, Dean. You’ll find Sam. Follow the road.

Because we were seeing Heaven from Dean’s perspective here, we also saw the road. But he had Cas to give him the secret hack on how to get out of his heaven to find Sam’s heaven.

Ash later underscores this, and strangely 10.17 proves him out. We saw “Bobby Singer” land (like Ash described “Winchester Land” as a section of heaven. We saw ALL the Bobby Singers grouped together in one long corridor. Not ONE BIG HEAVEN COMPARTMENT. All those Bobby’s were NOT soul mates.

Okay? Okay.

I think I’ve seriously talked plenty about this episode. Have my tag for it if you’re interested in the metaphysical nitty-gritty of it, 

http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/tagged/spn%205.16

or my tag for Heaven stuff (and all the other realms) heaven hell purgatory and the empty

Dean actually didn’t wake up when someone sneaked right up to his bed and stole his gun out from under his pillow? Incredible. But hey, at least he woke up quick and figured out what was going on before Roy and Walt shot him and Sam...

Seriously one of my favorite Dean lines in the entire series, because Roy and Walt think it’s bravado, but Dean 100% ain’t kidding here:

Roy: Killin’ Sam was right but Dean... Walt: He made us and we just snuffed his brother, you idiot. You want to spend the rest of your life knowing Dean Winchester’s on your ass, ‘cause I don’t. Shoot 'im. Dean: Go ahead, Roy, do it. But I’m going to warn you, when I come back I’m going to be pissed. C’mon! Let’s get this show on the road.

Just like Charlie thought she was “dreaming” in 9.04 when she was dead in and heaven, Dean thinks he’s dreaming here now...

Until something “breaks through” his dream in a traumatic way, trying to get his attention and alerting him to the fact that no, he is definitely not dreaming. Cas “disrupts” Dean’s memory with a reminder of his own death and then tries to communicate with him on the radio.

Dean: I’m dead. Cas: Condolences.

and then when he realizes:

DEAN: Heaven? How did I get to heaven? CASTIEL: (on radio) Please, listen. This spell, this connection, it’s difficult to maintain. DEAN: Wait. If I’m in heaven, then where’s Sam?

NOT because he assumed Sam would be in his personal heaven with him, because HE WAS TERRIFIED THAT SAM DIDN’T GO TO HEAVEN AT ALL. I mean, just two episodes ago he was detoxing Sam off the demon blood again and watching Sam control demons enough to kill the Horseman Famine. I mean... >.>

(Dean was terrified that Sam was actually in Hell here, not wibbly over Sam not being WITH HIM)

Meanwhile Sam is experiencing Awkward Thanksgiving with Complete Strangers, and has no idea he’s dead or in heaven, because Cas wasn’t able to connect to Sam the way he did to Dean to pass that info along... hmmmm

Dean was then able to “Call” Cas through the tv, but as the transcript describes the connection:

“Dean and Sam move over to the TV. They can see Castiel but the picture rolls and is filled with static. His voice fades in and out and is sometimes distorted.”

He heard Dean “praying” to him, but his connection isn’t as solid as it was in Dean’s actual Heaven.

I’m not actually making any real s12 meta points here, just riffing on all the destiel-y bits because it’s late and the rewatch is actually cutting into my nightly writing time now... I should probably try to stay on point and just get to the point here...

Cas thinks he’s got a couple of “Inside Men” who can get information for him that can only be obtained in heaven... which heck sounds an awful lot like 10.17, called Inside Man... I wonder why... Oh, right, it was also written by Andrew Dabb. What a coincidence.

CASTIEL: (on TV) It’s called the Axis Mundi. It’s a path that runs through heaven. Different people see it as different things. For you, it’s two-lane asphalt. The road will lead you to the Garden. You’ll find Joshua there. And Joshua… can take us to God. (The pictures starts to break up badly.) The Garden. Quick. Hurry.

The Road, that Dean drove on to reach Sam’s heaven. It’s ENTIRELY METAPHORICAL, because Heaven is a construct. And Zachariah is officially messing with Sam and Dean.

SAM: Dean. What are you doing? DEAN: Looking for a road. SAM: You… (Dean opens the closet under the stairs) You think the road is in a closet? DEAN: (turns on the light) We’re in heaven, Sam, okay? I mean, our memories are coming true. Cas is on TV. Finding a road in a closet would be pretty much the most (he sees something on the floor) normal thing to happen to us today.

(Dean finds the road in the closet)

And we’ve talked this scene to death recently as well, now that Mary’s back.

Sam is FREAKING MISERABLE watching Dean and Mary interact as if he didn’t even exist, Mary cutting the crusts off his sandwich and giving him pie, but even one of Dean’s “greatest hits” memories includes the fact that Mary and John were fighting, because he got to care for Mary and tell her she was loved, that he loved her.

And that’s it, the only time in canon Dean has ever said “I love you” to anyone.

SAM: I just never realized how long you’ve been cleaning up Dad’s messes.

And speaking of messes that Dean had to clean up, Sam finds the next “road,” on a post card.

Sam is GIDDY to find his dog from when he ran away, and DEAN IS FREAKING MISERABLE.

*HEAVILY IMPLIED THAT DEAN IS STILL HIDING JUST HOW AWFUL THINGS WERE FOR HIM WHEN “DAD CAME HOME” AND FOUND SAM GONE HERE*

Dean walks out the door of the trailer, while they are STILL IN SAM’S HEAVEN, because they haven’t yet found another “road,” and walks straight into what Dean considers one of the worst nights of his life, and Sam considers one of the best...

SAM: Dean, I’m sorry. I just, uh… DEAN: I know. You didn’t, you didn’t think of it like that. SAM: Dean! DEAN: C’mon! Your heaven is somebody else’s Thanksgiving. Okay. It’s bailing on your family. What do you want me to say? SAM: Man, I never got the crusts cut off my PB & J. I just don’t look at family the way you do.

And then we see how Ash hacked heaven. 

ASH: See, you gotta stop thinking of heaven as one place. It’s more like a butt-load of places all crammed together. Like Disneyland except without all the anti-Semitism.

...

ASH: Pretty much. A few people share—special cases. What not. DEAN: What do you mean ‘special’? ASH: Aw, you know. Like, uh, soul-mates. (Silence greets his statement. Dean and Sam don’t look at each other.) Anyway. Most people can’t leave their own private Idaho’s. DEAN: But you ain’t most people.

Yet Ash found Sam and Dean together... and he made some assumptions. He didn’t know that Cas had been giving Dean the “ain’t most people” cheat codes to Heaven.

But Zachariah’s already got Sam and Dean trapped:

MARY: Honey. Why are you up? DEAN: Look. I’m-I’m sorry. I love you but you’re not real and we don’t have time— MARY: Did you have another nightmare? Tell me. DEAN: I gotta go. MARY: Then how 'bout I tell you my nightmare, Dean? The night I burned. ... MARY: Don’t you walk away from me. (Dean stops) I never loved you. You were my burden. I was shackled to you. Look what it got me. (She blinks and her eyes turn yellow.)

And about this point Dean and Sam both realize that Heaven can be just as good at torture as Hell can...

MARY: And then, finally, I was dead. The one silver lining was that at least I was away from you. (She takes a big breath.) Everybody leaves you, Dean. You noticed? Mommy. Daddy. Even Sam.

But that is NOT THE REAL MARY. That’s not even her ghost or spirit or soul or whatever. Zachariah calls it a “Blessed Memory” of her, and honestly that’s pretty much what Dean has always thought of his memories of Mary. 

They finally meet Joshua and arrive at the garden, where we learn that God talks to Joshua, but it’s really only a one sided conversation. It wasn’t until 11.20 when Metatron was allowed to talk BACK to God (and I mean that in the sense that he back-talked at God) and push him to accept his responsibility for EVERYTHING, and it STILL took three more episodes after that before he finally acted on it at the 11th hour and because of Dean’s direct influence on both him and Amara:

JOSHUA: He knows what the angels are doing. He knows that the Apocalypse has begun. He just doesn’t think it’s his problem. DEAN: (stunned) Not his problem? JOSHUA: God saved you already. He put you on that plane. He brought back Castiel. He granted you salvation in heaven (he turns to face Sam directly) and after everything you’ve done too. It’s more than he’s intervened in a long time. He’s finished. Magic amulet or not, you won’t be able to find him.

And back to the “magic amulet.”

Proof to Dean about his own “deadbeat dad” from way back in 3.09, and now proof to Cas about his “deadbeat dad” in 5.16. And that was just one deadbeat dad too many for Dean. When he first gave Cas the amulet in 5.02, he warned Cas not to lose it, and then asked for it back later... but now, 

Dean’s first act on reviving from being dead is to call Cas. And he has to watch Cas’s moment where his faith in God breaks completely, and he returns the amulet and disappears...

Sam is still talking about finding another way to end all of this, but Dean’s losing his faith in himself, and throws the amulet in the trash...

Now in s12, Dean does have faith in himself again. He doesn’t doubt his instincts anymore. He’s not dealing with things so far above his pay grade that he can’t even get straight answers and is getting dragging around by the nose by middle management angels.

God has made Dean pancakes and told him he and Sam can take care of Humanity now... (with Cas’s help of course, because God keeps bringing Cas back for them).

The one thing Dean has to reclaim for himself is Mary. She’s absolutely not this warped Torture Hallucination Version that Zachariah presented him with, but she’s also not just that “Blessed Memory” version that Dean had presented himself... Nor are Sam and Dean the little boys that she thinks she remembers from her own version of Heaven. They’re just as fake as Dean’s childhood memory of Mary was in his heaven.

And to continue this already ridiculously long rant with more from the continuing series of Chats With Lizbob:

mittensmorgul maybe dean will tell mary what heaven's really like, since she's got this weird idea her whole family was there with her... he needs to set her straight, tell her that NONE of them actually share a heaven because he and sam have been there that it's just your memories and not real

elizabethrobertajones yeah, I can almost hear that - "It's not real Mary, WE are£

mittensmorgul: that PEOPLE are real, that the Dean and Sam on earth here with her are real. Heaven was just memories

(I love that there’s an accidental typo of a pound symbol there, like a random reminder I’m talking to a British Person, in case I was forgetting to read Lizbob’s parts in an English accent...)

mittensmorgul well, she's already brought up heaven twice, once saying she didn't remember it, the next saying she was there with John and her little boys, and now I think she needs to hear the truth

elizabethrobertajones DOROTHY Dream? Charlie, you died. Don't worry about it, though. You're not a real hunter until you've died and come back again. CHARLIE Slow down. Why would you think I died? DOROTHY Heaven -- it's your dream life.

Because as much as Mary knows, I’m not sure she really understands all of this yet. And I think she really needs to in order to be able to finally let go of the past, for better or worse.

Okay, now I have officially used up more than an hour of my writing time on this episode I’m gonna go see if I can’t write some fic instead. :P

[chris-evans-imagine]

We don’t talk anymore

Prompt: I wanted to send a request for the song fic if you're still taking them. Can I request "We don't talk anymore" Charlie Puth ft Selena Gomez? Just some ansgt and then some fluff?

A/N: It was really great to write this... sorry it took me forever, I wanted it to be great. I hope you like it and sorry if it’s a bit long.

Warnings: widow reader, fluff, angst. You’re Chris’s age.

xo

-----

“y/n, right?” my sister asked me. We were on a family dinner and suddenly the ex’s topic came. It was my turn.

“She was adorable, son, have you ever talked to her after?” I smiled.

“Of course not, come on, guys! We don’t talk anymore. She was my high school sweetheart, I haven’t heard of her in, what? Twenty years?” I shrugged giving the chance to tear another past relationship. But the truth was that I felt curious for her. We spent many amazing things, but we didn’t share dreams. We took different paths. And it was fine… until now.

 I didn’t sleep that night wondering about her. We lost contact. We were so naïve, we believed that it was going to last. That we had something to live by, to fight for. But it was just an innocent thing. My mind processed pictures of our holding hands. Her curly hair moving in the air and the floral smell that she used to have. Her sweet giggling after one of my many bad jokes. Her shaking body undermine after our first encounter. I recalled the way she couldn’t hide anything, she had one of the strongest looks ever, and she showed every feeling through her look. She used to have the sweetest lips, and the smoothest, snow white skin. How could I forget her? How could she make me feel the same even when she’s probably not the same girl? How’s possible that this feeling still alive?

 “Oh, baby, you received a letter from your old high school, do you want me to send it to you?” my mom inquired through the phone.

“It’s fine, you can open it and send me a pic because I’m not in a stable address right now, mom”

“Alright, let me see where I saved it…. oh, here it is.” I heard the paper tearing. “It’s a reunion. Next month…”

 I was nervous. Even when I’ve done bigger things. I felt anxious. I was going to see her again, what if she goes with her husband? What if she still mad at me? I literally stood in the parking lot ten minutes after I parked. I felt like a teenager again. I wasn’t Chris the actor, I was Chris the student and (ex) boyfriend. I decided going without the tie and started to walk to the gym.

I didn’t recognize most of the guys and girls I used to hang with. They were totally different. They gave my name and a drink the moment I got there. I wasn’t that social in the school, but suddenly, everybody was my friend. I was talking with one of the football stars. He had a belly bigger than the ball. I heard someone calling her name. I tried to reach the voice, but there was a lot of people. I excused myself and went to the restrooms. In my way, some of my classmates asked for a picture. And after a flash, I saw her. My anxiety was gone because she was shyly standing in front of me.

She was different. She wasn’t using a bang and brides. She had her hair lighter and clear forehead. She used to wear her faded jeans and my shirts that were bigger than her. Now she was wearing a long skirt and a tight white shirt. She was radiant. She was a woman now. A breathtaking, gorgeous and clumsy lady. I took the last picture and I excused myself. But some guys ran into me and I couldn’t say no. Until Marisa came closer. She hugged me and, again, asked me for a picture.

“What can you tell me about y/n? I saw her but I didn’t talk to her” she smiled.

“She came because I begged her to. Since her husband died, she doesn’t like to go out much. She has to child, his name is Billy, and he’s so adorable. Maybe you should ask her those things, talk to her.” I held my breath, so, this is what happens when life, you know, happens. I recognize her dress and my way to her.

“Hi” I murmured, she turned around and smiled with that perfect, sweet smile.

“Chris Evans, wow!” she spoke. She left her drink and hugged me. Her body wasn’t the body of a teenager, mine either, but the difference was that mine reacted like a teen boy. I held her and she took distance. “I didn’t think I’d see you around. I wanted to say hello, but all your friends were there, so…” she apologized and I laughed.

“Yeah, right, friends… you should remember my friends. I can’t believe it, you’re so…” she laughed this time. Until her cellphone rang.

“Oh, hold on, it’s my babysitter, I need to get this” she excused herself and made her way out of the gym, obviously and ridiculously followed her. What the hell was I doing? I mean… I needed to know more, if she was doing fine, if she was happy, if she accomplished her dreams of become a teacher.

After three minutes, she came in.

“Hey, everything ok?” y/n nodded.

“Sort of, I got to go. I need to call my uber, I didn’t bring my car, it’s not like I wanted to get wasted it’s just that… I don’t drive if I drink because of Tim” She quickly spoke while typing. “And I’m talking out loud” I smiled like an idiot.

“Yes, some things never change” she nodded.

“It’s a bad habit. Anyway, it was good seeing you…” she approached and hugged me and when she made her distance again I cleared my throat to say the only thing that came to my mind.

“I wouldn’t mind to take you home, if that’s ok with you, of course” she smiled, and I recognized that smile, she was touched.

“Chris, this is just getting started, I don’t think you’d like to miss all the fun. It’s very sweet of you, but you don’t have to. This app is a blessing…”

“That’s not a problem, I’d rather being with you for a little while than spend my night with my friends” I responded ironically.

  “You’re not married” she said out of the blues, ice breaking the car.

“I’m not” I added as I stopped on the lane.

“Why not?” I shrugged and kept driving.

“I guess I haven’t found the magic I felt since…” I stopped before saying something stupid.

“Since…?”

“Well, since the last time I felt like that. So, tell me, what do you do now?” I changed the topic.

“I’m a kindergarten teacher. As I planned and dreamt. And I don’t ask you because I know you did it. And did it in a big way. I couldn’t be happier for you.” I smiled.

“It’s not a big deal, I love what I do, I really do. Ok, it’s my turn to ask… I heard you’re having a problem with the babysitter, I’m guessing you became a mom and a wife” she smiled and looked to the other way. I continued driving.

“Yes, I’m a mom. Billy is four years old. And I’m or was a wife, until my husband died two years ago”

“Oh, y/n, I’m sorry to hear that”

“It’s ok. We’re moving on, it’s what my husband would’ve wanted. It’s here.” I parked and opened my door to open hers.

“So…” I whispered.

“Would you like to come in? I could make some coffee before you come back to the reunion” she asked. I nodded.

“A coffee sounds really nice”

 The babysitter left, y/n went up and came back with slippers.

“Billy’s asleep. So, tell me…” and then, the conversation began. It was like traveling through time, but more mature. We were adults now, talking about life, adventures and minor stuff.

“I had forgotten how much I loved talking to you” I said out of the blues. I saw a little guy in the kitchen entrance. And for my luck, he was hearing an avengers pajama.

“Mommy, bad dream” his sleepy eyes were the same color of y/n.

“Oh, come here, sweetheart” he rose her arms and she picked him up. “I’m sorry” she murmured. I smiled and grabbed the two cups and washed them.

“You don’t have to do that”

“Mommy, who is him?” he was so adorable. Her curls were heritage from her.

“He’s a friend. His name is Chris. Say hello” he said hello with his hand.

“Can I hug him?” he asked her mom. She smiled.

“You can ask him if that’s ok”

“Can I hug you? I was having a bad dream” it melted my heart, I nodded and opened my arms for him. We kept talking until he fell asleep in my arms.

 We were on her door. She had put Billy in his bed. And during that time I felt my heart racing, should I ask her out? I mean, why not? But was it right?

“Goodnight and thank you, Chris” I leaned and kissed slowly her cheek.

“No problem, y/n” I gave her my back and started to make my way to the car.

“Chris…” I heard her. She walked as I turned back.

“Yes?”

“It was good seeing you” she smiled.

“It was good seeing you too, I just wish we could see each other again. Would you like that? Maybe we could go for an ice cream with Billy?” she smiled.

“Chris… you don’t have to do this. You’ve been so nice with us. But you don’t have to feel like I’m forcing you to do this. It’s ok. I…”

“I understand that, but I’d like to do it. I’d really like to. Because you’re you, and I love being with you, even after all these years, after not talking… we have the same connection, y/n, you can’t ignore that. And I don’t want to come back to my life knowing that I had the chance to be in your life. I don’t want to be at the point of not talking anymore and daydreaming about how you are”

“I’m not. I just… Chris, it’s not the same. We’re not 17 anymore. You’re a worldwide star, I’m a kindergarten teacher from our hometown. It was good, tonight was good. But I don’t fit in your life now.” She rose and kissed my cheek. I saw her walking away. She closed the door and I made my way towards her. I knocked. Once she opened I cleared my throat.

“Hello, I’m Chris. I don’t know you at all, I don’t know anything about different worlds or different lives, I just know that I want to know you again. Please.” Her eyes were full of tears. She smiled and extended her hand.

“Hello, I’m y/n. I’d like to meet you again, Chris.”

[loseitall-ff]

8.

“Oh my god! It’s Chris Brown” hearing people say my name as I walk by them “Mylen about to go crazy when I show him what you got him” Mijo said at the side of me “he’s my nephew, you know what ever I get my daughter I get my nephew and niece” I ended up going shopping to get the latest Js, and then ended up buying them for the whole crew, both of my bodyguards holding my bags full of things “thanks though” Mijo said, waving him off “don’t be, I got you” seeing this female walking by, I whistled watching her walking by with her friends. She didn’t even seem fazed by me looking, but her friends were gasping “that ass though” turning around as I walked backwards “Ew, Jesus” seeing the females we bought along with us, Lo busted out laughing “wow, so mean” one of them said, Lo hit my arm laughing “that moment when you thought the girls you fucked with were somewhat pretty” he said as I chuckled, turning back around “we going back to the crib?” Fresh asked, nodding my head “yeah, I got a nigga dropping off some of the good stuff. Need to be there” getting my car key out of my pocket “see you there then” unlocking my car door, walking over to my Lamborghini “Breezy!” I sighed, the paparazzi got me “Mijo you getting in with me?” I shouted “Breezy, you hear what happened to Rihanna’ new man, what is your opinion on this?” the paparazzi shouted at me “for sure” Mijo said, opening the door “how you feel about Mychel?” the paparazzi got in my face, my bodyguard luckily moved him out of the way.

Driving the highway in silence, my phone started ringing. Looking down at my side panel and seeing Ava’ name, blowing out air answering the call “what?” I spat “are you on your own?” she asked “yes” I mumbled, which is a lie “I am actually glad I have got you on your own” this is why I didn’t want to really pick the phone up “what was that all about with Rihanna? You kicked me out, then you dragged me out. Told me to lose your number but then texted me” Mijo glared at me “I texted for what though? Sex, so get that right” looking in the rear view mirror, I wish I didn’t pick the phone up now “I don’t think it’s right, I have been with you for a year Chris and you are still fronting and playing me around” rubbing my chin “I don’t want a relationship and you know this, please stop pressuring me into that. But you know what, you right, I do text you. I text you because you are so open to have sex, I know for a fact your ass can’t have kids either so we good on that end” that was low of me, Ava remained silent “well I think I am going to stop this, you’re depressing me” is Ava being real “oh wow, am I really? I am giving you fame, shut up. Not my fault you tell me shit and act like I care about it” Mijo is looking at me shocked “seeing you with Rihanna, how affectionate you are, that is your ex you cheated on with me! What do you want? I don’t even think you like having an easy life. I think you enjoy having Rihanna there and then me there too but there is one thing she gets from you, that caring side to you” why is she even starting this shit “if you want to stop fucking with me then fine” I shrugged.

“You don’t care because you have Rihanna around again, you know what. I am going to make sure everyone knows everything about you. I may be the bitch you fuck on the side but I am the same bitch that is in the corner watching you, everything you do!” she shouted “I will sue your ass, you sell a story about me I will come for you” she is getting me so angry “you are a useless waste of space of a father, like the time when you didn’t want to pick your daughter up when you had custody of her because you was too busy being high and having an orgy. Useless fuck!” she screamed out, hitting my steering wheel “you fucking bitch!!! I promise you now, we are done. There is one thing I am going to do is get the person I love back, I don’t know why I fuck with you. Cheap fuck” putting the phone down.

I am glad Ava is out of my life, the bitch is stupid anyways “you good?” Mijo asked, I nodded in silence. I don’t feel like talking, I think I need to revaluate my life “you not talking now? You was good to argue with Ava” chewing my bottom lip staring ahead, I need to leave Ava alone now “I just don’t know what to say” I mumbled “talk to me then?” I shrugged “I don’t know because I don’t know why I do the stupid shit I do, the only person I want is Robyn but I don’t know. I went back to Ava, just for sex but that is a bad thing right?” Mijo chuckled “you need to quit that shit, I don’t think Rihanna would want you anyways” he has a point, who would want me “after shouting like a mad man, you still need to explain yourself about that” licking my lips sighing “listen bro, there is some things I would tell you but this, I can’t. All I can tell you, without saying anymore is that I beat Mychal up” changing the lane “nah, you joking!?” Mijo spat “I am being one hundred, which is the only thing I can tell you” he needs to figure the rest out himself.

Robyn and I haven’t really talked since then, I read up that I shouldn’t crowd the person so I am trying to keep my distance. I feel like I have messed up again, I need some self control and I need to pick what I want and I do want Robyn. Why do I do shit and then regret it knowing I made the decision myself, knowing full well this bitch Ava Robyn hates like why did I take her shopping “you look in deep thought” Lo questioned, looking up from the ground “I am just thinking, thinking what a fuck up I am, I don’t know why I do the things I do. Ava said some shit and it did get to me” I need to get my family back, I do.

Packing Liana’ bag “are you sure you don’t want to take Liana to her first class?” Noella asked me, I nodded “I am fine, I rather not leave the house.” Today Liana is having her first Ballet class, Noella is taking her because I don’t feel up to it. The thought of going out really stresses me out, I feel like people know and are judging me. My publicist already called about him, I just wanted to scream crying because his name alone sickens me, I don’t want him to win and I don’t want to be like this but I can’t help it. I am just here with no feelings “mommy I go dance now?” Liana said behind me “yeah baby” zipping her bag up “mommy not coming because I am not well” picking her bag up and passing it to Noella “oh” Liana said, she looked down in sadness “I am sorry, I will be home waiting for you though” looking over at Noella “are you sure you’re ok? It’s been like a week since you done anything, you live in the bathroom” she said so concerned about me “I am fine, I just want to stay at home” ignoring Noella’ harsh stare, my phone pinged in my hand. Staring down at the name and seeing Chris has text me, unlocking my phone.

From: Chris

To: Robyn

Not heard from you in a while, everything good? Please stop ignoring me, I am here for you x

Furrowing my eyebrows, I have been trying to not run to Chris because I feel useless. Who am I to keep on going to Chris when Chris has his own life, I am holding him down with my shit and I don’t want that either, replying back to his message.

To: Chris

From: Robyn

I am good thank you.

Hopefully he leaves it at that “mommy, I go auntie no get me food” Liana asked, holding her arms up “you know I can’t hold you, I am not well” last time I placed Liana on my hip to walk with her I was in severe pain after, I won’t try that for a while now “and yes Noella can, come. Rich will be here for you” shuffling towards the stairs, looking down at my phone.

From: Chris

To: Robyn

She gone to Ballet yet? Send me a picture

Walking down the steps slowly “I am surprised you not going? You was so excited about the ballet” Rich said pointing “not well” I lied, I was excited for her to go “she has done nothing but hide in her room and wear clothes that are ten times too big” Noella complained, reaching the bottom of the stairs “whatever, Liana come here. Daddy want a picture of you” that girl always runs off “come Maj!!” Liana shouted, hearing her running. Holding my phone up with my camera ready “here” she skipped over “he wants to see how pretty you look for ballet” I smiled, Liana did such a Chris pose. She opened her mouth with her tongue hung out “you’re terrible, you get this from your father” sending the picture to Chris “you still going London?” Rich asked “need to get some new guards” I wish I didn’t have to go “yep” I mumbled, I don’t want to go.

The house is so eerily quiet and now I feel it, I feel lonely. I guess I can cry without being interrupted, checking Chris’ message.

From: Chris

To: Robyn

Look at my princess, she is beautiful! Thanks but that means the house is all clear, I can come?

He is so slick, I won’t let him come to the home. Just because I don’t want anyone to really know and for Liana to think we are together, it’s confusing for her.

To: Chris

From: Robyn

That would actually be nice, come.

I need someone to speak too, it’s like I have to bottle this up all the time and just be normal when I am not. I am so broken, I just feel like crying. I can’t believe such a thing happened to me, to me and I let it happen. I go through it in my mind and I let it happen, I gave myself away and it kills me inside that I did. I was so desperate to prove something, to prove I am ok without Chris, the very man that pains me but yet I am running back to him. I hate myself so much, if only the world knew how depressing it is to be me.

Walking over to the front door, I told Chris to call me when he is outside. Unlocking the front door and pulling back the door “hey gorgeous” he said, I wish I could smile but I can’t “hey” I softly said back “lock the door behind you” turning around, I wish I didn’t actually go to Chris now. Just because now I feel as if I am a burden to him and also he is a guy I am trying to move on from, the very man I couldn’t keep myself.

Watching Chris walk into my living room, he is really all smiles “did you lock my door?” I asked “eh!” I pointed at his red Timberlands “my white rug” he was just about step on it “my bad” he kicked them off quickly “it’s cool” pulling my sleeves down, I feel so sleepy now “why did you ignore my calls and texts? I was so close to coming here, but then I read that I need to give you space” squinting my eyes at Chris “read?” I questioned him “I have been reading up, I want to be here for you as much as I can. I know I am not the best guy but I will try for you, it’s a big thing you have told me. I want to make it right” watching him take his bomber jacket off “you do your best Chris, I don’t know why I keep running back to you when I am trying to run away from you. Look where that got me” Chris shuffled closer to me “are you still blaming yourself? This was not your fault! He fucking did that because he is a sick fuck, stop it” Chris got comfortable in front of me, I am burdening him.

Chris clicked his fingers in my face “Robyn, is this what you have been like? Just dazing in and out” I shrugged, he frowned at me “you never had bags under your eyes, what is this? Have you been looking after yourself?” I nodded “yes” shuddering while I said, looking down at my hands “I need to have a bath” I feel dirty again, getting up from the couch “I won’t be long” feeling a hand on my wrist “no you’re not, I come to see you. Please sit down, we don’t have long” I really want a bath though, why is he stopping me “Liana will be home, you can have one after” that is true “ok” stepping back to sit down, Chris let my wrist go. Looking up at his face, his eyes met mine and he stared at me in sadness “Robyn, I love you so much. I think this is above me, you need to speak to someone that can help. I am not throwing you to the side because I will be here for you” he is being stupid now.

Chris just watched me in silence, this is stupid. We have been silent for ten minutes now, well it feels like it “Chris, I think it’s best if you don’t worry about me. I am not your problem, thank you for listening and your concern as a friend. You can have Liana, I am not capable of protecting her, you can do better” Chris shook his head “I won’t do that to you, don’t be stupid. You’re a great mother!” I have not been there for Liana at all “I can’t even go to her Ballet class, this was her first day. Look at me, I don’t want your sympathy either” I don’t want him to feel for me at all.

This hurts my heart so much to hear this from her, Liana is Robyn’ life and she would never say such a thing. Robyn needs help, she really does but she don’t want it. Rubbing my face, she came to me so I want to make sure I look after her. This is not my Robyn at all, that motherfucker has broken her “listen to me, I am not having Liana because she is happy with you. Liana loves you with all her heart, she won’t want me. I upset her babies, and you know I do” I smiled, Robyn slightly smiled at me “you’re the best mom ever and she loves you” this is so hard, I am still in shock about this myself “Robyn, this. What happened to you was not your fault, you didn’t ask for this either. Look at me” Robyn didn’t look at me, lifting her head up with my hand “you got raped, no woman asks for that. I am so sorry I let you go, I am sorry I failed you Robyn, I failed you because I cheated. You would be so happy right now, I know that baby. I promise I will rebuild you, not for my own slick way but because I owe it to you, Robyn I need you to be strong. I really do” Robyn sobbed out “I just need you to work with me” I hate her crying.

Robyn walked over to me after getting a tissue to wipe her nose “I am sorry, I will always be sorry to you. I am sorry for Ava, I am sorry for keeping her around but I needed someone to have sex with me. I am not emotionally tied to her, bitches come and go” I hate the fact Robyn puts her head down “you lift your head up, you hold your head up high. You don’t let him get you down Robyn” I won’t let Mychal win “why did you have sex with her” Robyn said, her voice broke “I didn’t think Robyn, I am a selfish man. I am sorry, look” rubbing my hands together “I feel bad, I love you so much. This hurts my heart so much, I want to be here for you because that is what I want to do for you after failing you” Robyn nodded in silence “you hate me?” she questioned, shaking my head “I love you, I have a lot to learn and change for. I didn’t protect you” such a failure I am.

I hope that isn’t Jay Brown at the door because I honestly don’t want to be hiding now, I am so emotionally tired. You know what, I did text Ava but I regretted that. I am going to torture myself too, I am not going to have sex with anyone because I do want to be back with Robyn. I need to change for my daughter too, what kind of man am I. That could easily be my daughter in that predicament, clenching my jaw. I will not allow another man to be in their life, I need to be the man in their life and to do that I need to rebuild this “Rihanna I want to say sorry” my ears perked up “No!” Robyn spat, jumping off the couch. Running to the lobby “oh fuck!” Mychal gawked in shock, my eyes widened “you motherfucker!” I shouted, he stepped back near falling back to run off. Running towards him, running out of the door Mychal slammed his car door shut. He didn’t expect me to be here at all, dragging the door open. His car engine switched on, grabbing Mychal trying to drag him out “I fucking told you! She is back with me!” I shouted “Chris please!” Robyn shouted, looking over at her. Mychal reversed the car back and I moved out of the way.

I can’t believe he came back, my fucking daughter could have been here. I am so angry right now “fuck!!” I shouted out, I am so angry. He came back, what the fuck did he come back for. Feeling a pair of arms around my body “you good” I said breathing in and out staring at the drive “I don’t think he will be back” this situation is so fucked up “Robyn, listen to me” moving back “I’m going to need you to call Leandra and Mel to come here, say you just miss them” I need people to be around Robyn, the more people the better “I need to go London, I am going to go” she said lowly “you want me to come? I don’t mind” looking down at her “I’ll call Mel, I don’t want to be a burden” shaking my head silently, if only her friends and family knew. I don’t think he will be back, I made it out that I am back with Robyn now.

[zanemau65]

Here some more trash cause I'm an idiot and this is my death

Faiths pov

I get out of my car to see my mom and dada kisssing bleh." Get a room love birds" i yelled,"Aww but i thought you shipped up" my mom says with a smirk." Shut up mom,that was 6 years ago and i am 18 now im not like aphmau ok" i spoke maturly."oh really,OMG IS THAT A BABY" my dada yells." WHERE LE BABAY" i say sounding like aphmau."pfttt haha and you say your not like aphmau" my dad spoke.Oh he messed with the wrong child.I tackle him too the ground and sit on his back" wow aphmau was right you are a little nugget"." Guess it runs in the family" a voice behind me spoke.I turn around to see my brother zach ugh."Hello brother" i say trying to mimic my dad."Daaww hows my little sis" He say doing an impression of our uncle." Were the same age dingbat" i say."yeah but im older by a minute"he said."so i at least know how babys are made"i said lifting my head to look proud."ok ,DAD MOM WHEN DO WE LEAVE"he yelled like he was five."HOLD ON IM STILL STUCK UNDER YOUR SISTER" he yelled under me.I snickered a little and got up and saw him crawl away like a bug."ok to go to the shipping street of queen aphmoo"i said sounding like a snobby queen.I made zach laugh a bit and afterwards we piled into the car.

Le Timeskip Brought To You By Elmo

Aphmau's pov

Ok stuff is set now when should we go to ikea.I hear a car and truck pull up the street to the vaccent house.I walk outside too see who they are and there he stood king of cupcakes himself.I run up and tackle him,"ugh not again faith get off me"he yelled haha this is going to be fun"No cause im zane and im a fat little nugget"i said doing my impression of him.He tured around with an unamused face and said" aphmau get off me i already have faith doing this so get off"i looked at him and said"But mooom i dun't want tuuuuuu" as soon as i finished he pushed me off.I get up and help him up" so what brings you to lovers lane huh"i said looking at zane and zanna."well our house blew up like yours so same as you"zanna said."And because i didn't want to share a room with this pig"faith said pointing at her brother,Wow they are just like zane and garroth."hey it's not like your a pain too,always cleaning my perfect messes"zach said."YOUR SUCH A PAIN","IT'S LIKE YOUR THINKING MESSES COULD KILL YOU"and there is where it's diffrent, they can fight better than ether of them."FAITH ZACH HEAL"zanna yelled.They stopped and sat down in front of her respectfully."I told you two to stop fighting until we unpack that was all i asked"she said sounding disapointed."sorry mommy"they said.Ooo someone in trouble.

Josh's pov

I walk down the street to see some new people moving in and the most beutyful person in the world sitting at the feet of her own mother.I soon see my mom talking to the family and laughing at what the mom said.I walk up to them and my mom notices me and introduces me,"Guys this is mine and aron's son Josh"I wave to the girl and her family.The  Dad i prusume starts talking and introduces his daugter to me"Nice to meet you this is faith,zach,and my wife zanna".I shake hands to be polite and i say goodbye and walk to the store.Man i think im in love.

Zach's pov

Oh i know that look, josh gots a crush on my little emo sister.Oh this is perfect to tease her about."Someone has an admirer~"i said as i bug her."Shut up,zacky"She said useing my baby name,Oh it is on."at least i have a girlfriend"I said."Your phone doesn't count dork"she said,darn she got me there."Kids come on grab your stuff and go pick out your rooms"Mom said.I grab my stuff and race to the brightest room and start making it messy enough for me,                                   ahh nothing better than a fresh mess.

Faith's pov

Ugh of course he would make a mess right away.I walk twords the darkest room and start decorating it.I place a photo of my best friend amelia on my desk and start putting my clothes in my closet."hey sis why don't you go talk to you boyfriend"my brother said making "kissy faces"."Why don't you go make out with you phone,Since it's your girlfriend she wouldn't mind"i said,oh he's gonna need ice for that burn."Well at least i can still hangout with my friends"he said mocking me"."SHUT UP ZACH,GET OUT OF MY ROOM"I yelled and trough a book at him"Ok ok JEEZ"he said dogeing the book and running to his room.I guess he is kinda right i have no one to hangout with anymore so i should go find some,This is going to be hard since im like my dad.WELP to go find friends after i get something to eat.I walk downstairs and to the kitchen and grab an apple and walk outside and go to aphmau's house."Aphmau can i talk to you"I said as i knocked on the door."Yeah faith,What do you want to talk about"She said,"How do you make friends"I said really emberresed. She squealed and brought me inside and sat me down.What did i get myself into."OK to make friends you need to be nice and go outdoors with out your hoodie"She explained,"Um sorry you said what"i said surprized at her words."I said go outside without your hoodie"She said giggling,"Sorry but no im not doing that"I said flatly."Come on whats the worst thing that could happen"She said smiling.I look at her and take off my hood to show a tiny halo and smol horns,"thats why"I said."Thats ok there are other ways to make friends"she said smiling like a maniac."like what" i said getting excitted,"To my computer"she said and ran upstairs.I folow her and see her on a purple computer,"Ok lets go to tumblr,Wattpad,and facebook"she said typing.She opens up tumblr and sets an account for me." ok there you should be good so go ahead and make internet friends" she left and let me do my own thing on her computer."ok lets do this faith'to make friends".

This is shit kill me

[blackrosesfanfic]

Chapter 231

Cammie

Lane comes out of the room then stops like he was startled by me coming up. "Mommy?"

I smile. "Hey, Lane."

"Mommy?" He says looking back in the room. "That boy want a chips."

"Come out here, Lane, really quick." I say grabbing him and taking him to where Hidia was.

Hidia was sitting on Marco's lap watching a video on a tablet. I think they were watching it together. Anyway they were outside where breakfast was now being cleaned up. Chris walks up from the beach looking mad.

"Where Amber?" He snaps at no one.

"To the store." Lane answers. "I play?"

I stand him up in front of Marco and Hidia. "In a minute Lane. What did you say about the boy?"

"In the room."

"Yes, what did that boy say?"

Lane puts his hand on his hip. "He want a chips."

"He told you he wanted chips?"

"Yeah, Mommy."

I cut my eyes at them. They were just watching me. "Go ask him what kind."

"I not get him chips." Lane snaps.

"Why?"

"He get he chips. He big boy."

I chuckle. "Go ask him what kind of chips he want, Lane. Go ahead."

"Mommy, he say he no talk to you." Lane says walking away. "Mommy?"

"What, Lane?"

He continues walking then he starts running. I sit the monitor on Hidia lap. Before she could ask any questions Lane starts talking.

"Go get you chips from Mommy." Lane spats.

"No, Lane."

Hidia gasps. "Is that my baby?"

"I think my son is a bully but..." I shrug.

"Who gives a fuck?" Marco says pushing Hidia off him aggressively.

The boys start talking again. "Lane?"

"What?"

"You go ask for me."

"Mommy say what you want?" Lane finally says. “What chips?”

Marco starts walking towards the house. Hidia grabs him.

"He will stop talking." She cries.

"I want Doritos."

"Okay, Cousin." Lane says now being nice. "You eat in kitchen, k."

"I know. I going to go to the kitchen."

Marco shakes his head and walk away. It look like he had tears in his eyes. I smile at him. Hidia hands me the monitor then walk after him. Lane comes back outside to me. His bad ass. He needs to learn how to be nice to people. I'm not raising a mean stuck up rich man.

"Mommy, he get Doritos?"

"Yes. Lane are you being mean to Ike?"

Lane glances at me ready to lie. "I... I not. No."

"Does Ike talk to you nice?" I ask. "Is Ike nice?"

"Ike scare he Mommy."

I stand up and walk to the kitchen with Lane. I don’t think he understands that question. Lane would not shut up once we get into the kitchen. This is one moment when I appreciate the fact that he could talk. Although he wanted to talk about every little thing. Like the refrigerator having popsicles or the cabinets not opening. They have child locks unlike the ones at home, so he mad. He wanted to talk about playing outside then he talked about Royalty. I send him to get Ike so he would stop talking. He comes back pulling Ike by his shirt. I shake my head. That damn mini Tremaine.

"Mommy." He says letting Ike go and running to the table where he sees chips and a juice box. "This for Ike?"

"It's for you Lane. I don't know what Doritos Ike likes."

Ike stands there staring at me. I wave him over. He walks over to me.

"Apple juice?" I ask putting a box down. I stare at him. Looks like he moves his mouth. "Lane likes apple juice with his chips. What kind of Doritos?"

I put the two different types out in front of him. I look at him again. I lean closer to him. He was barely talking. Only thing I could hear was air. I get in his face and stare at him then I act like I'm going to bite him. He giggles then he takes the chips he wanted. I push the juice near him. He shakes his head walking away. He is so cute. I'm not going to pressure you to talk handsome.

"Thank you, Mommy." Lane yells.

"You welcome."

  Amber

I'm just numb to everything right now. I don't knows what to think or feel. In the last two hours I've been doing a lot of thinking. I've been a bit busy as well. Me and Alex made an emergency appointment with a local clinic to confirm if we were really pregnant or not. Alex more so wanted to know how far ago. I look at her after she turns the car off.

"So what did you say they said?"

"I didn't say." She shrugs.

I suck my teeth. "Did you make another appointment at least?"

Alex snatches the keys out of the ignition. "I talk a big game, you know?"

"I mean... I guess we all do sometimes."

"I can't really go and get an abortion. For one I have a reputation and most importantly a heart." She throws her keys in her bag. "I hate that everyone around me gets to live fucking carefree lives. The moment I try to do some dumb shit it all goes the wrong fucking way. I don't want to be in a relationship with someone because of a baby."

I cut my eyes at her. "Who says you have to?"

She pushes her door open aggressively. "Amber shut your perfect situation up. Don't judge me."

"Perfect?"

"I don't know whether Jamaal is around me to benefit or really be there. Does he see me, my status, or my fucking body?"

I sigh. "Girl, you crazy. I'm not answering shit. I shouldn't be talking."

"You shouldn't." She says looking at me. "What did they say to you?"

"5 weeks."

"Out of fucking 40. Gotdamnit."

"Alex." I say opening my door. "Just shut up. You acting like your cousin. What do you want me to say?"

She gets out the car then lean back into it. "I don't want to hear nothing, Amber."

"Oh." I smile then shrug. "So we done talking about you. I need something better than making him mad with a strange text. He is Chris Brown. You know how many people text him with some crazy shit like that a year? He numb to it. He just gonna be watching me to make sure it's not me joking. Asking people."

"He nasty." Alex retorts.

I shake my head at her. "You not helping."

"Thats the difference between me and Cammie. I'm shallow and selfish."

"So is Cammie but she still tries to help. You just want to be that way." I suck my teeth. "Imma just..."

"Where the fuck you been?" Chris says swinging the front door open.

I stop walking. "Were you waiting on me at the door?"

"Thought you were Lane's pizza."

"That not pizza man?" Lane says stick his head out the door. "Oh that Ambe. Way you be at, Ambe?"

I laugh. Okay I'll just act like Chris asked like Lane did. "I'll tell you in a second. Give me a minute, okay? It's a surprise."

Lane jumps at the front door. "Chris there go pizza man."

"What kinda surprise? You don't have nothing in your hands."

"Oh." I say turning around going back to the car.

Alex yells. "Chris what is your fucking problem? Move!"

I glance back. I don't really like her and Chris new found love/hate shit they doing right now. Why you both hate each other so much? I missed that. I open the car door. Lane jumps in my way. Little boy. He climbs into the car really fast looking in the bag. I close it.

"Lane." I say.

"It Chris surprise?" He says worried. "It a toy for Chris?"

I suck my teeth. "Lane why are you so smart. Move."

"I bad, Aunt Am?"

"No." I smile at him. "I said you are smart. Why are you so smart?"

"Cause I is." He says sliding out the car. "I go tell Chris."

I grab him. "Lane, no."

He looks at me. "Chris told me tell him. He no like surprise."

"Lane." I say letting him go. "Fine."

"You mad, Aunt Ambe?"

I close the car door. "No."

"I not tell him."

I smile. He being so cute all the time. He is a lot nicer than he used to be. His behavior is different as well. He still bad but most of the stuff he do is not that bad. It's more of him trying to be independent and making a mess. Chris is standing at the door eating pizza. I make a face at him. Lane stop in front of him.

"It a toy, Uncle Chris." Lane sings.

"This boy just said he not gonna tell."

"I not say it is."

I touch his head and chuckle. "Thank you, Lane."

"We going parasailing."

"Come here." I say stopping and looking at him.

He walks over to me. "What?"

"So this little arguing thing you and Alex doing?"

"She started that shit. I supposed to let her talk shit about me?" Chris spazzes.

I roll my eyes. "Calm down. It ain't even that serious."

"You telling me to be nice to that bitch now? She a fucking bitch. Always..."

"Okay, Chris." I say hating I even said shit. "Let me bite your pizza."

He brings it near my face. Right as I'm biting it he snatches the drone out of my hand. The surprise isn't the drone but I need him to calm down while I figure out exactly what to do with the drone. I act like it's a big deal that he took it from me. He kneels down on the floor and open it.

"Now see Chris if I did that you would fucking be turning the house upside down."

"Stop crying man." He says handing it back.

I snatch the bag and walk away. Chris follows me to our room. Dude why you being so annoying. He starts to say something but Trey walks into the room.

"Yo, you ready?" Trey asks.

"I thought it was just Cammie. You going?"

"I mean not unless you need some private time with Cammie. I can stay here." Trey says.

Chris walks into the bathroom. "Every fucking body bleeding like a bitch today."

"Uncle Chris!" Lane yells walking in the room. "Your baby crying."

"Why she crying Lane?"

Lane points to the door. "Her want her Mommy."

Chris sucks his teeth walking out the room. A few seconds later I could hear him in the hall.

"Yeah, she crying again. Come get her."

"Trey?" I say noticing him still standing there.

He looks in my bag. "This shit is nice. Why he not flying it?"

I sigh. "I just bought it to..."

"To what?"

"I'm trying to surprise him. But I don't know. I got the drone idea from Alex but he will see it before it gets up in the air if I attack the message to the drone. Plus I'm not even good with drones. Tested it in the store."

Trey takes it out the box. "I'll fly it for you. What's the message?"

"I'm not telling you so you can tell him."

"You going through all of this. Why would I ruin it?"

I sigh. "You don't seem too sympathetic right now."

Trey ignores that. "It has a camera."

"Does it?"

"Yeah." He says holding the papers. "Download the app. Record the message with the drone."

I hand him my phone. "Are you agreeing to help?"

"Yeah." He says not taking my phone but putting the drone back.

Chris walks in. "You going parasailing? Amber?"

I sigh. "No."

"Well, will you listen out for Royalty mama? Mama trying to put her to sleep."

"You wait." I snap. I roll my eyes. I don't even know why I said that. "Yeah, I'll do it."

Chris looks at me then he looks at Trey who was on my phone. He makes a face at Trey then he walks out of the room. Trey hands me my phone and start to walk out of the room. I sit down.

"Trey where are you going?"

"Parasailing."

"They can wait."

Trey cuts his eyes at me. "Chris not gonna give you time to make your video before he back in here."

"But if you going and you helping me then how am I supposed to do it?"

"Damn, you sound desperate." Trey says. "I'll send you someone then."

I don't say nothing to him. You give me this super great idea then you abandon me before it even gets started? I'm just going to tell him when he gets back from being out on the boat. Rollie walks into the room.

"Ambe?" Lane says from behind him. "Mommy go on boat. It danger. You go on boat?"

"No." I say.

Lane stands there like Rollie. After a few seconds Rollie sighs. "What?"

"What, Auntie?" Lane snaps.

"What did Trey tell you?"

Rollie shrugs. "That you wanted to show me something."

"I needed help with this stupid drone. But don't worry about it. I’m doing something else."

"Oh, that’s simple."

"Don't worry about it Rollie" I say walking out of the room.

[blackrosesfanfic]

Chapter 196

Next day

Cammie

I cried in the shower this morning. I cried changing Caden's diaper. I cried after crying because I couldn't believe I was crying. It's crazy even to me. Now I'm thinking about it and feeling like I'm going to cry.

"Jay, did you pack?" Trey asks. I sniff. "Jayla, come on, Love. You said you could do this. Why you making it hard?"

"I sorta think you don't have an attachment to our son."

He rolls his eyes. "We both know why it's easy for me and not easy for you. Has nothing to do with how much we love our son. Jayla it's not even that long. They only have enough breast milk for 48 hours. So it’s impossible for you to stay away for more than a day."

"48 is 2 days."

"They need extra in case of an emergency or theyre wasteful. So really about 30."

I sigh. "I can't be you."

He picks up a bag. "You don't have a dick, you short, and you cry too fucking much. You sure as hell can't be me. Are these your clothes?"

"I figured if it's a day, I won't need clothes."

"Jayla." he says sternly. "We are leaving in 2 hours."

I fall on the bed. "April is not even here."

"Rollie is taking them to April. You know that."

"I think my baby's first plane ride should be done with me."

"Exactly why we are leaving in 2 hours instead of at the end of the day. Cammie, you acting like a brat. We went over all of this. Were you crying too hard?"

I stand up and go get my bag out of the closet. "Maybe. I need some reason to say no."

"Camille! We are going..."

"Tremaine stop yelling." I snap.

He blows. "Im headed to the airport."

I come out the closet. "Already?"

"I can't be here with you going through... Whatever this is. What are you carrying?"

"My clothes." I say dropping the bag then kicking it. "Enough for 2 days."

"You have clothes in VA. 3 days."

I swat him off. "I can wear the same outfit."

He gets really mad. "No, the fuck you can't. What the fuck?"

"I... Whoa now. What is your problem?"

"You not married to no fucking clown. Ain't no way the wife of Trey Songz is going to be seen anywhere with an outfit she fucking wore two days before. What the fuck are you trying to do? Give the fucking blogs some A1 shit to fucking talk about? Fuck no. You put 4 fucking outfits in that bitch after talking like that."

I sit on the bed and cross my arms. "I don't want to go anymore."

"I can't believe that shit. I must be broke as fuck or fucking stingy as a bitch. Hell no."

"I have 3 outfits. Shut up." I say resting my head on the bed.

Trey grabs the bag then checks it. He goes back out of the door. I'm going to just sit here and cry again. I get out of bed to go get Caden so I can snuggle with him. I never usually bother him while he is sleeping.

"Aye, don't even try that nigga. When the last time a song of yours was played twice in the same day? Centuries ago. Back before Benjamin Franklin. He wasn't even a president."

"Why are you running your mouth in here?" I snap standing in front of Trey.

He laughs really hard then grabs my waist. "Not even. No. Aye, what's your name again?"

I push him off of me. He kisses my cheek really quick then he walks away laughing. He so fake. Ain't shit that funny on that phone. Him and his friends annoy me. They will go without talking for months then plan to do something and talk for hours in the days coming up to the event. I bet any amount of money he talking to J. Cole.

"Mommy." Lane cries.

"In there. Don't wake Caden up. Yo? Caden not big enough to talk... What?"

Lane stomps into the room. "Mommy." he says like he angry.

I turn to him. "Lane, how may I help you?"

"Nanma coming?"

"Rollie is taking you to Grandma."

He sticks as much of his head as he could into the rails of the crib. I push his face back. He could really get stuck like that. He falls out on the ground. No crying. No nothing. He just lies there. That fellow is a mess. I look at him until he looks at me. I raise my eyebrows then smile. He jerks his body away to hide his smile.

"You are so cute, Lane. I love you."

"Love you." he says.

He always forgets whatever is going on when I tell him I love him. He makes sure he tells me back. I pick Caden up out of the crib. Lane's face was right there watching. He was looking like I was doing wrong. He was waiting for Caden to cry. He was sure he would. I kiss Caden then take him to the rocking chair. Lane follows.

"Mommy, Nana coming?"

"Yes, Grandma April coming to the car to pick you and Caden up."

"Caden go to grandma house?" Lane asks worried.

I smile. "Yes."

He puts the blanket over Caden. "Caden. Caden sleep?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

I stare at him. "We not starting this. Since when do you ask Why?"

"Cause." he shrugs.

"Okay, Lane. Want to share my lap?"

He starts climbing. "Yes."

I put Caden on my shoulder and help Lane into my lap. He wanted to lay down as well. He didn't want to simply sit on my lap. I start rocking with both of them. Surprisingly, Lane lies there then he starts talking random ass talk. I don't know what he talking about. He not expecting an answer so I let him talk. Trey looks into the room then he grabs a bag by the door. I'm being a bad mom. I didn't pack nothing for either of the boys. Not one thing. Trey has done everything. I'm sure he had help from April.

"Ma, call her yourself. Why?" Trey sucks his teeth then appear back in front of the door. "Where is Caden's insurance card?"

"Why?" I snap.

He disappears. "Why? Cause what? Fuck if I know, April. Oh."

I chuckle. I know why. Just being a bitch. I don't want Caden or Lane to go. This is why it was a good thing for me to keep my baby to myself. I was worst with Lane. Hell I took my fucking infant to Europe. Who does that?

"Jay, just in case Caden needs to go to the doctor. Do we have one for Caden?"

"Is he on your insurance?"

Trey comes all the way in the room staring at me. "Jayla, stop. What do you use... Don't worry about it. I'll look online."

"It's in the baby bag already."

"I changed baby bags."

I raise my eyebrows. "Do you put the clear bag with fingernail clips and stuff back?"

"Yeah."

"Then it's in there."

"Why the fu... You could have said that." he shakes his head walking out. "I swear. The shit I deal with."

I rock my babies.

  Amber

"I have absolutely nothing to do."

"Why did you come to Chicago then?" Chris snaps scratching his balls in the middle of the floor.

I shake my head. "You are not cute."

He smells his hand then turn up his nose. "I'm not fresh either."

"Shut up."

"Why you came to Chicago? Tell me."

I lay back on the headboard. "I had something to do. I did it duh. Plus I wanted to surprise you, dumbass."

"Your ass lying."

"Christopher."

"Maurice Brown... Anything else your lying ass got to say?"

I laugh. "What are you talking about? I was thinking we smoke a blunt."

"What happened to you cleansing your damn body?"

"You know how hard it is to eat right and not drink or smoke?"

He shrugs then starts walking to the bathroom. "Cammie does it all."

I chuckle and cross my legs in the air. "Cammie is a perfect ass bitchy goody two shoes. I done said fuck her for a while. Anyway."

"But she does it." he snaps.

"Oh, shut up. Bitter." I say reaching to the end table where I had weed for him.

I scream. He had jumped on the bed scaring the shit out of me. I slap his side. He puts his hand over my face. I fight with him. It was hard as fuck to get his hand off of me. I scream thinking that would get him to get off me. He just laughs. I dig my nails into his side. He only moves out of the way. How the hell he can be so far away yet still touch me. I give up. He continues laughing.

"You smell my balls?"

"Awwwh." I scream fighting him again.

He laughs then moves. "You scared of a little dick and booty on your face?"

"You fucking nasty."

"Huh?" he says coming back to the bed.

I look at him then try to hide my face. It looks like this nigga wiped his hand under his stank ass balls again. He grabs my arm. I scream and kick him then jump off of the bed. He laughs really hard. He so dramatic. He holds his stomach and throws his head back. I run and jump on the bed then jump on him.

"Fuck!" he yells as we both hit the floor. "Bitch."

"Motherfucking bad ass bitch."

He tries to put his hand in my face again. I smack it out of the way. He drops it to the ground and take a deep breath. I fucking won. He puts his hand to his face then drop it again. He had put the blunt back in his mouth. I kiss his face as he lies there with the blunt between his lips. He chuckles.

"You still a bitch." he says.

"Yeah yeah."

He sits up making me back up. He falls back like he didn't have no energy. I watch him. He flicks a lighter lighting the blunt. I grind on him. He blows the smoke at me. I mean I have been not drinking and all that but I'm just not feeling it. I feel like your mind has to be fully committed to something for it to benefit you. I'm just stressing myself out trying to live life like someone else. It's just not me. It's not us. We don't do either.

"So you stop smoking and I'll get back on my cleansing."

"What's wrong with weed?"

I snatch it out his mouth. "Tobacco."

He chuckles. "Oh. Well..."

"You are not even supposed to be smoking if you detoxing from liquor anyway. That's why you can't stick to that either."

"I drink less than I used to."

I roll my eyes. "Trey does it."

He laughs. "Bullshit. Shut up. He never smoked cigarettes like I do. Fuck Trey..."

"You want to?"

"Fuck my fucking brother?"

"Technically..."

He gets in my face. "Technically, shit. You know what I was saying any fucking way. Get your stank ass off me."

"That's how you feeling?" I laugh pushing him back.

"You know what I'm feeling?" he blows smoke in my face. I shrug. "You cool as fuck. I almost felt guilty about being selfish and making you mine. Almost. If I had a bit of that stuff that make you not selfish. I think you perfect. For someone else."

I laugh. "That almost sounded sweet."

"Let's go to Dubai. Remember what happened in Du fucking bai?"

"No." I frown snatching the blunt. "What the fuck happened in Dubai? Between us?"

He lies back. "You know."

I look at his face. "No, Chris, I do not."

"What?" he looks at me. "We fucked in Dubai. I thought you was just fucking with me cause we said we would act like it never happened."

"Chris, we did not fuck in Dubai."

He sits up. "We did. I remember."

"No."

"You weren't too drunk to fucking remember. We were on that yacht with the Olympic sized pool. In the towel room after they left us in the sauna."

I cross my arms. "You remember too many details. Were you even fucking drinking?"

He grabs my wrist and shakes my arms apart. "Come on, we barely drunk anything. We got shit faced after though."

"Christopher that was not me."

"Cammie threw up cause it was her first time on a yacht."

I hit him. "Cammie's ass threw up cause she was fucking pregnant with Lane. She been on a damn yacht with Trey's ass."

"Oh."

"I remember her throwing up. We didn't fuck. We were just..."

"We fucked."

I laugh. "That totally slipped my mind. In the towel room. Oh my gosh."

He chuckles laying back. "It was quick no lie."

"It was like 2 seconds of a fuck. Like a damn movie clip. Bam against the wall dramatically..." I throw my hands up. "Towels falling everywhere. One pump, two pump, three pump... Bang on the cart. Towels everywhere! Bam... Bam against the wall. Dramatic fall on top of towels... Screen cut. Sweating, panting, and dazing into the camera. Wow. Okay let's not tell anyone about. Yeah. Okay. Molly washed down with Hennessy?"

He laughs uncontrollably. "It was not a Molly."

"What the case." I throw my hands up.

"You a bitch yo. I remember it being fly."

"Christopher have you been holding on to that memory? What happened to forgetting the shit?"

He wipes his face. "I'm sitting here sweating from the thought. Forget it why?"

"Cause we agreed."

"I just thought we agreed as in don't fucking tell my fucking girlfriend who bout to come around the corner with Cammie. Best 10 minutes..."

"3."

He grabs my face. "You don't have to be so accurate. In my defense I been waiting for that for a while."

"You a bullshitting lie." I say hitting his arm.

"Sevyn... Amber, Honey, shut the fuck up. I try to treat you like an average ass hoe but you just won't let me."

I stand up. "Am I fucking average?"

"You fucking fine. Perfect."

"Perfectly above average, bitch. Still make you cum in 2 minutes."

"Three!" he spats.

I laugh. "Yeah."

He laughs until he starts coughing with his fucking fucked up lungs. He sits up holding his chest and trying not to cough.

"Breathe bitch." I say hitting his back.

That made his mean ass stop coughing but he comes for me. I hop across the bed out of his way. I slap a balloon across the bed into his face. He smacks it then coughs a little fake cough. I chuckle hitting another balloon. He grabs it.

"Can I stick my dick in this?" he says grabbing his dick and putting the balloon lips to it.

"Are we going to Dubai?"

He shrugs. "If you want. Let's go."

"It's whatever. Stop raping that balloon and come in the shower."

"Don't beg." he says busting the balloon with the blunt.

I suck my teeth. "Really, Chris!"

He shrugs. "That bitch was fake."

[blackrosesfanfic]

Chapter 190

Trey

"Hold up." Devin says looking around the table. "Trey did you cook this?"

"No." I say scrunching up my face.

He looks at Chris. "Did you cook this?"

"Naw, we just sat down and started eating. Trey, why we sat down here?"

"Cause it was food."

Devin wasn't leaving it alone. "Your mama not here, Cammie not taking the time, and MiMi ass don't do nothing."

"Sevyn?"

"She went out this morning." Chris shrugs. "With Cammie."

We sit there for a few seconds still eating. It didn't bother me how the food got here. The fact was that it was here and I was eating it. Nothing complicated. Devin grabs a piece of toast from the plate in front of us.

"Daddy?" Lane says walking in the kitchen. He sees me and gets excited. "Hey."

"Good morning, son." I say returning the excitement.

He comes over looking at my plate. "What's that?"

"A strawberry." I say giving it to him.

"I'll be back, Bae." someone yells then comes in the kitchen.

"Oh." I say suddenly remembering. "Kain."

Chris scrunches up his face. "You cooked this breakfast?"

"There's a problem with a nigga cooking breakfast? I cook for my family every morning."

"But you a drug dealer. They do that?" I smirk.

He chuckles. "Do they Devil?"

Devin scrunches his face. "I'm a clean ass nigga. I don't know what they do."

"Boe." Kain says making a face. "What's up, Lane?"

"My cousin here?" Lane says paying Kain attention. "Way her at? Naya!"

There's a loud noise in the dining room then running. Man, that's trouble. Lane and Shani. She is a fucking ratchet ass girl in the making. She curses, she pinches, she bites, she cries, she makes pouting I’m sorry faces. Lane brings the bad out of most kids but that little girl don't need help being bad.

"Lane. Hey Lane." she says hugging him.

"Cousin." he says pushing her off him. "Way you Mommy?"

They disappear. Kain leaves out of the kitchen as well. My phone goes off. I stare at Cammie's face until it says missed call. Chris looks at the phone with a frown on his face. He remains quiet. It starts ringing again. I slowly pick it up.

"Morning." I say.

"You sound dry, Tremaine. What are you doing?"

I stuff my mouth. "Eating."

"You cooked?"

I chuckle. "No, really. Let's be serious."

"I miss you. Are you coming to watch me dance?"

"No, wife."

"Why not?" she whines.

I change the call to video. She answers it right away. When the video loads she is sitting on the floor in front of the mirror with people dancing behind her. Cammie is one of those people that is beautiful first thing in the morning without doing anything to her face. When she does it am over the top beauty. She sitting in front of this camera with no make up, sweat, and her hair tied back.

"You look beautiful."

"Eww." She says covering the camera. "I look like a sweaty ragdoll."

I chuckle. "Lane here. Talk to your mama."

He looks at the phone with a long face then he looks at me. "No. I said that."

"The pineapple?" I say giving it to him.

"He took the time to slice the pineapple." Chris says staring at the pineapple.

Lane puts the phone down the run away. "Naya!"

"My sister there already?" Cammie says.

"Yeah. He thug cooks."

Cammie laughs. "Yeah, I know. He does it every morning."

Mommy wobbles into the room. "I still can't get used to walking in the room with y'all ass sitting there casually. Hey."

"I didn't know you were pregnant."

"I'm not!" she says offended.

I frown picking up the phone. "Oh."

She laughs really hard. "Just kidding. I am. My baby daddy can make a spread right? Got it looking professional. He was having fun with all the damn fresh food y'all got up in here. Oh guess what. Twins!"

"That's why you so big." Devin says.

"Oh shoot. Dee, I thought you were a cute celebrity sitting up there."

"Cute?" Devin says making a face. "Fuck I look like?"

"Cute." Chris laughs.

I look back at the phone. "What's so cute about twins?"

"No, Dee is cute. Twins aren't cute." Mommy says walking her belly around the counter. "I'm wish twins on you. It's either the 2nd born or the third."

"That bitch not even having twins." Cammie says. "Maine, I have to go back and dance. Love you."

"Love you." I say staring at her. I wanted to tell her no but I didn't.

"Anyway, twins?" she says rubbing her belly.

I frown. "I'm confused. You asking me?"

"Yes, I was lying before. It's a girl." she says making the ball in her stomach move. She didn't look as big. "She likes to sit with her butt on my stomach and lungs so I can't eat so much. Girls. Already a self-conscious bitch. Don't want us getting fat."

"I would take whatever if it's a girl involved. Then we done."

"At 3 or 4? Hell I'm surprised you got Cammie to have one." Mommy says giggling.

I frown. "She wanted kids."

"Who? Miss conceited? Bitch, ain't never wanted to lose that perfect body. Whqt she doing right now? Exercising. Call it dance... Still keeping that figure right."

"Cammie, don't act like she didn't want kids." Chris frowns.

"Let me ask my mama." I say taking out my phone. "I don't think I ever asked."

Mama answers right now the first ring. "Good morning, Tremaine."

"Must be some new old saggy balls in your life."

"They only about 25. Still perky."

I chuckle. "And full of STI's. Nasty."

She laughs really hard. "Tremaine on the phone. Talking about nuts. You know I always knew he liked bags in his mouth."

"The fuck?" I say trying to stay serious.

"Rose? Tremaine, your cousin said hey. Rose said to tell Lane to call her."

"I'm not because he gonna be talking about going to Virginia and Cammie not having it."

Ma laughs really hard. "We going to a garage sale the church having. I should have got some stuff from my basement. Yeah, that old dresser. I thought it would go back in the other room. It's too big. Whatever."

"April."

"Tremaine!"

"Cammie wanted kids?"

She sucks her teeth. "Ask your wife."

"Before she had Lane?"

"No, Tremaine, she didn't."

I suck my teeth. "So why she kept em?"

April laughs. "Thank God you didn't ask your wife. Start an argument if you want. He talking about why she kept his son."

"Not like that."

"How else is it Tremaine? What does it matter now? She wasn't getting an abortion."

I nod. "Oh, yeah, you right."

"Give me that."

"No coffee." I say moving it from him. "Go call Rose."

"I don't know." he lies.

I give him the phone. "Here."

He grabs the coffee cup then cuts his eyes at me. I watch him while he sips the coffee with caution. I don't know why I allowed him to do it after I said no. He takes two sips then he grabs the phone. He sits down on the stool instead of getting down.

"April?" he says.

"Say what?" April snaps looking at the phone. "Girl, Lane said my name like that. Sounding like a grown man. Good morning, handsome."

He slides the coffee towards him. "Hey, Nanma."

"But I was just April."

"No, sir." I say taking the cup from Lane.

He screams. I can deal with his screaming. I'm not dealing with explaining to Cammie that her son high off of coffee because I don't know how to say no to a 2 year old. He puts his head on the table but doesn't cry. Bad ass. I look over at Mommy and Devin. She puts her hand on his chest. It wasn't a simple hand on the chest. It was a hand on the chest then caress to his arm. She walks out of the kitchen. I look at Chris. He was looking down at his food. I guess he missed that. As I'm looking away he holds his head up with a smirk on his face. I nod my head. He starts laughing. Devin was just sitting there quiet.

"Something we should know about?" I ask.

"Hell no." Devin says grabbing a muffin. "That ain't me in this life. I hurt my baby too much. That girl..." he looks around. "She ain't no Cammie. Watch her."

Chris frowns. "That means?"

"She likes to flirt and thinks it funny for her fucking man to get jealous. It's a fucking game they play. I ain't in it."

"Okay." I retort.

"She like dark skin men. Sorry Chris." Devin chuckles. "You will see."

"No the fuck we won't." I say.

Caden starts screaming in the monitor. I look at it. He went from quiet to highly upset. Lane was the first to react. He jumps down from the stool running out of the kitchen. I don't know what the hell he think he is going to do. I stuff my mouth then look in the fridge for some bags of milk. I check the date then fix a bottle. I'm on Daddy Duty.

   Sevyn

Cammie smiles at me. "That's cute. Are you getting it?"

"No. Let me tell you what I'm thinking."

"It sounds negative." she says covering her ears.

I pin her arms to her side. "You better listen. I'm supposed to be going to Chicago next week. I'm thinking of talking Chris out of following me there then when his jealous ass try to pop up on me I have like this really cute setup for him. Like clothes, shoes, whatever, whatever. What do you think?"

"Girl, Chris ass gonna ruin it by thinking its for some other nigga."

"Fuck my jealous ass boyfriend."

Cammie giggles. "I don't know what kinda shit you on but I'm married."

I frown then laugh. "Cammie shut the fuck up."

"Am I in this conversation?" MiMi asks.

"No." I snap. "I told you we not fucking cool."

She rolls her eyes. "Make the setup Chris specific. Like have some shit up there that he knows is especially for him. Like some monogrammed shit or something. Something he can't mistake as shit for another man."

"Whatever." I say. "Cammie I got an idea."

"Bitch you better not." I say.

"Cammie. I can customize it for just Chris. Like buy something and get his name on it."

MiMi giggles then answers her phone. "Hey, My King. Use Cammie's milk. I had two full bottles already. You fed her both of them? And she wants more? Oh... Oh. I thought. Okay I got you. Oh no. Bitch, bye."

"I think that's a good idea, Amber. How did you come up with that?"

"Cause she a piece of shit. I want to do something for Devin. Like I want him to know I appreciate how he turned his life around. He making legal money and he so proud of himself."

Cammie giggles. Her bitch ass on the phone again with Trey. Like damn, what's the sudden change? I look at MiMi. She was looking at Cammie as well. I need her to look at me so that we can talk shit about Cammie with her eyes. I never too much heard MiMi talk real shit about Cammie. Even when they weren't talking she was more mad about the fact that they not talking. MiMi finally cuts her eyes at me. I start laughing at the face she gives me.

"You bitches come on." Cammie says walking away.

"So what's this sudden call Tremaine every 10 minutes? Bitch he home. Call him when we dancing our asses off. Call him while changing. Call him while walking to the car. What the hell you calling him so much for?"

Cammie rolls her eyes getting an attitude. "I got to have a reason for calling my husband?"

"Bitch, he home!" MiMi snaps.

Cammie giggles. "I'm trying to be a wife and a Mother. I called to check on Caden just now cause its feeding time and my breast aren't there. You think I'm calling him too much?"

"Yes." MiMi says.

"No." I say.

"Amber, call Chris and ask him if I'm call Trey too much."

I cut my eyes at her. "And look suspicious?"

"Chris knows how to be discreet." she says confident.

"Whatever." I say calling Chris.

He doesn't answer. I go to tell them but he calls back.

"Beautiful." he says.

"What are you doing?"

He chuckles. "Lane and Nia... Naya. Whatever this girl name playing bumper cars with these powerwheels. Yall stop!"

"Oh. So Trey not around?"

"No." He says. "I'm about to get your daddy, Lane! I'm bout to get him cause he just says no bitch when I tell him something. Bad ass motherfucker."

I chuckle. "Ask Trey is Cammie calling him too much. Like you know don't ask like that."

He starts whispering. "Yo."

"Yeah."

"Lane and that little girl playing bumper cars with those power cars."

"Nigga." Trey snaps not whispering. "Tell them to stop."

"He said no bitch."

Trey sucks his teeth. "He should have. You sound like a bitch. He two. Snatch his ass out the car and tell him to come to me."

Chris chuckles. "You sound like Cammie. She rubbed off on you. Aye, she don't normally call you that much. You ain't acting like it bother you."

"It don't. Why would it? Nigga stop stalling and go get that kid before they hurt themselves."

"Aight." He says walking away.

I look at Cammie. She was smiling. I roll my eyes. MiMi sucks her teeth.

"So gone." MiMi says.

"Lane." Chris says. "No come here. Little nigga."

I laugh at his voice. "Chris what is going on?"

He facetimes me. Lane was out of the car running around the yard. I laugh then cover my mouth showing Cammie. He would stop running then stand there waiting for Chris to walk close then take off again.

"Daylan!" Cammie says. Lane falls trying to look around.

I give Cammie the phone. "Gameover."

"You go put those cars up right now. I told you the next time you do that you are not playing with them. Tell Nia I am not playing with her ass."

"Nia!" Lane yells running away.

Chris chuckles. "He said you in trouble Naya. Mommy gonna pop us."

"What she say?" Cammie snaps.

"She pouting and sitting in the car."

"That's not what I told her to do. Chris that is a child's way of saying they don't care. Tell her to put that car up before I get those thighs."

He walks across the yard. "Cammie said put that car up before she gets those thighs."

"No." Nia says driving away.

"Where Lane?" Trey asks.

"I told Cammie." Chris says.

Trey chuckles. "Of course."

"Hey, Baby." Cammie says.

"Eww." I say snatching my phone then hanging up.

Cammie laughs walking away. "Bitch."

[blackrosesfanfic]

Chapter 167

Cammie

"Why should I worry about the next bitch? She is the next bitch." Teyana says.

"Chyna not worrying the next bitch." I chuckle.

MiMi sits up. "Y'all I think she is fucking Mun."

"Who is Mun?" CiCi asks.

"Future." MiMi says looking at CiCi. "You know how to keep secrets?"

CiCi rolls her eyes. "I do. People playing me today. Shit."

I laugh. "They are."

"They fucking? How do you know?"

"No." I say shaking my hands. "I can't keep no secrets. I'll be done told everybody. Don't tell me shit. It ain't my business."

MiMi laughs. "Your ass sure can't hold shit. They fucking though. It's out there."

"Her and Tyga not together. It don't matter."

"It don't. Where is Amber?" Teyana asks. "I got a message for her from some irrelevant bitch."

"From Jess or Kay?"

"Y'all I think Chris has a baby." CiCi says.

I sit up. "No. Is that true?"

CiCi shrugs. "They won't come out and say it. Chris or Trey. You know they hide shit like that until they can't."

"Amber know?" I ask.

"I don't know."

She peeks her head into the door. "What do I know or not know?"

I look around the room.. Everyone else does as well. I sigh. I would want to know as soon as possible so I think that I should ask. I doubt that I will be telling her anything she doesn't already know.

"They talking about the baby rumors."

"Mh." Amber says. "Yeah, I know about that. You talking about Chris not your baby right?"

I nod. I'm glad that she knows. She sits down yawning.

"Oh hell no. I better not ever hear about a baby rumor from Devin. Somebody getting there shit cut."

"It was before us." Amber shrugs. "Y'all should have heard about that a few months ago. MiMi you better not hear no shit like that. I'm counting on sharing y'all 50 year anniversary with y'all."

MiMi makes a face. "Like sharing it? We not doing that multiple wife shit."

"Just for a few years." CiCi says laughing.

"Jayla?" Trey says walking into the room.

I sink down more behind MiMi. Trey pulls me by my feet. I yell then sit up. He doesn't want me with them today. I laugh then hit him so he would let me go. He grabs me throwing me over his shoulder.

"Tremaine, stop."

"Come get this steak together. I'm hungry."

I sigh. "I made you harsh browns and stuff a few minutes ago."

"Lane ate that. That was an hour ago."

"Lane is sleep." I say hitting him for lying so boldly. "Blaming my baby."

He puts me down on the bed.

"Tremaine, when are you leaving?" I say grabbing him.

"In the morning."

"And coming back?"

"That night, if I can."

I let go of him falling back on the bed. "Just say fuck everybody."

"And do what?"

"Mow grass for the rest of your life."

He chuckles hitting my leg. "And make less than 20,000 a year?"

"You have enough royalties coming in to make enough to live good. Shut up."

"That's only about 50,000."

"Stop lying. Move. You get $50,000 checks."

"You want me to go?"

Trey puts his phone out in front of his face. It was very sudden. I don't know where his phone came from. I put my foot on his chest. He grabs it holding it in place. It sounds like he is on the phone with a guy. I can't make out the voice. He laughs then hang up.

"Was Lane a quiet baby like Caden?"

"No." I chuckle at the thought. "Lane was always in someone's arms. Always. He was demanding."

Trey takes his phone out again. "People are really loving you on SnapChat. I keep getting messages about putting my fine wife on the Chat. Do you want to?"

"Tremaine, I don't want you to go."

"Let's no do that." He kisses the top of my foot. "Don't make it harder on me to leave you behind."

I smile. "Oh stop. You making me blush. My ass."

"You too fucking dark to blush."

"Cammie." Chris says walking into the room. He looks around the room. "What is your level of activity?"

"Say what?"

Chris sits on the bed. "That's okay, bruh. You can stop the massage."

Trey chuckles. "What are you on?"

"Life." he says.

"What are you worried about me for, Christofucker?"

He chuckles then moves Trey away from me. "You distracting me."

Trey pushes him back. "What you in other people business for?"

"I got this song, Cammie. You need to be in my video."

"She my video bitch only." Trey says.

"I don't mean to be rude, My nigga, but she was mine first." Chris says pulling my arm.

I pull away from him. "Stop playing. Why y'all talking like I belong to the both of you?"

"You my best friend." Chris says all fake.

"You bullshitting. Leave." Trey laughs.

Chris wipes his eyes like he crying. "Damn. I have to wait another 4 months or some shit? Why you doing this to me? Why don't you love me?"

I laugh. "I'm perfectly capable of doing anything I did 9 months ago."

"So you gonna be my video hoe?"

"I'm wondering why you still in here."

Chris starts walking out. "I'll make it in Altanta so that there won't be no fucking excuses. I'll even get an RV so Caden can be onset. Yeah?"

"Whatever." I say.

 ****************************

"Do you like this picture?" Trey asks putting his phone in my face.

"Tremaine, I'm trying to clean this shit up." Shrug him off with my shoulder.

He doesn't go anywhere. I literally am sitting here trying to clean Caden's butt. I put the wipe down then turn to Trey.

"You fucking do it. Obviously you have nothing else to do."

"Just finish it." Trey says.

I walk away. "No."

"You can't fucking leave him on the fucking table alone."

"Why the hell not? He can't rollover."

I walk into the hallway where Lane is waiting for me. When he sees me he gets the fakest sad face that he could make. Fake ass. I told him to go in the hallway and wait for me. He wants me and only me to get him something to eat. I feel like he gets that from Trey. Trey wanting me to cook for him all the time. I push Lane's shoulders. He cuts his eyes at me then he starts crying. I walk away. He is so fake.

"Mommy." He yells in straight tears.

"Lane." I say turning to him.

He gets over himself and run to me. I push his shoulder again. This time he hugs my leg. He being a big baby who doesn't want to play with me. I go into the kitchen and turn on some water for the mashed potatoes that Lane is demanding. He is okay with me being in the kitchen cooking so he leaves.

"Tremaine needs to leave tonight."

"What?" I say turning to April.

She makes a face. "I didn't tell him yet. What are you making?"

"Mashed potatoes." I say with an attitude.

"Girl, he will be back tomorrow night."

Trey walks into the kitchen carrying Caden. "That was fucking up."

"You did it though." I say rolling my eyes.

"What did you do?" April asks taking Caden. He gets fussy so she hands him back.

Trey takes him mad. "She gonna start changing him then walk away."

"You weren't doing nothing but taking pictures."

"It's the principle."

"It's your baby. Say something else." I snap.

"I love you?" he says then kisses my cheek.

Lane's little hand pushes my thigh. I step back looking down. I don't know if he wants me to himself or Trey to himself. He just didn't want us together at the time. I walk away from them both. Lane starts with his one million questions about Caden in the kitchen. Apparently Caden is not allowed in the kitchen.

"I love you too, Tremaine." Trey says.

"No, Daddy. You Tamaine."

Trey, who already has Caden, picks Lane up. Lane looks at Caden in Trey's arm. I watch him to see what he does. He hugs Trey's neck instead of bothering Caden. Trey walks out. I love them so much. My 3 men. I glance at April. I exhale.

"April you told me that because you want me to tell him that right?"

"Thank you. My head hurt. I'm going to take a nap."

I roll my eyes. "You know I didn't say that."

"Jayla." Trey says walking in. Caden is crying. "He not crying right."

"Is he broke?" I chuckle.

Trey tries to comfort him. "Why he crying like this?"

"Babies have different cries for different stuff. Check his diaper."

"I just changed it." he snaps.

I hate having to control my temper because he is upset. It's so fucking easy to yell back at him. I pour the water into the bowl ignoring him. Instant mashed potatoes are so unhealthy but my baby won't eat nothing else. Trey is standing there unpatiently waiting for me to take Caden. He blows then walks away. I told him what to do. Lane tells King to sit down at the table and wait for his food. Who do he think he is? King's greed self listens. Lane rambles in the drawer where his dishes are.

"Jayla?" Trey says coming back in the kitchen.

"Come do this."

He blows. "Get mama."

"Her head hurts. Just stir the mashed potatoes and put them in the plate with the chicken nuggets."

"Just stir it."

I take Caden. He walks reluctantly to the stove and starts stirring the potatoes. Lane starts crying. I sigh. He gets louder. I look behind me.

"Lane!" Trey snaps.

"Why?" Lane cries. He stops crying. "Okay."

Caden wasn't hungry. He didn't have a bad diaper or anything. There was nothing that Trey could have done to calm him. I turn some music on then change his clothes. Maybe the little toy soldier didn't want those normal clothes on. He likes onsies and socks. I lay him down in the crib then watch to see if he calms down. He does after I start rubbing his stomach. Spoiled little thing must be tired of being carried. I like that. He goes straight to sleep.

"What was wrong with him?" Trey asks.

"Nothing. Did you find the chicken nuggets? I forgot to tell you where they were."

"Lane showed me that they were in the oven."

He touches Caden's hand. "Why are you doing that? You think his stomach hurt?"

"No, it calms him. He doesn't like to be held as much, I guess. But he likes this."

"Rubbing him?"

I take his hand and rub Caden's belly with it. He smiles. He is loving it more than Caden. I touch his arm.

"Maine, you have to leave tonight."

"Leave?"

I rub his arm. "Yes, for New York."

"Says who?" he says calmly.

"April?" I shrug.

"CiCi."

I didn't think about that. "It doesn't matter."

Trey stares at Caden. I hit Trey on his lip. He looks at me mad then he tries to reach across Caden. I hit his hand. He touches Caden's cheek. He is so into my baby. I wonder if him being here from the beginning will make him love Caden different. He hits my chin without me realizing it. I turn around to walk out. I was about to yell over Caden. Trey grabs me. I cover my mouth scared as shit.

"Tremaine?" I say outside of the room.

"Let's go lie in bed and fake like we watching TV." He says letting me go.

I walk towards the kitchen. "I'm going to eat."

"Rubber potatoes and plastic chicken?"

"No, you didn't smell the steak and potatoes on the grill?"

He starts walking towards me. "Stop lying."

I grab him not letting him by. "You aren't upset with leaving tonight?"

"You're not upset."

"I know you will be back and I know where you want to be."

"Inside your pussy." he says kissing my lips.

I giggle being fake. "That's nasty."

He laughs. "Please shut up."

"Tremaine."

"Shhhh." he says grabbing my ass.

I look down by my side. JJ is tapping my leg looking down at his feet.

"What's wrong, Buddy?" Trey says first.

"I don't get nothing to eat."

Trey touches his shoulder. "You do get something to eat. Who said that?"

"Lane."

"I'm sorry. I forgot. You mad at me for forgetting?"

JJ shakes his head. "No, Uncle Trey."

"Thank you. Go tell Lane that you do get something to eat."

"Okay." he smiles running away.

"You are going to get him beat up." I chuckle.

Trey grabs me. "Let's talk about this puss..."

"No." I move him away. "I told you I'm going to eat."

"I forgot." Trey just walks away.

Caden starts crying. I sigh then go back to his room. Little fussy butt might be hungry now. He should have been hungry then. His Trey looking ass was firing mad like I wasn't just in here trying to get him to eat. I scoop him up and place him in position. He acts like I starved him.

"Lane told JJ to go eat at the little table."

"Did he do it?"

Trey chuckles. "JJ took his food outside, ignoring Mr. Sudden Bossy."

I smile. "The food not done?"

"No. He just put the corn on there."

"Okay go. Let him eat. You annoying him."

Trey chuckles sitting down on an ottoman near me. "Are you going to look at my picture?"

"Tremaine, do you not realize that you ask whenever I am busy with Caden? Damn, you can't be just as jealous as Lane."

He chuckles. "I'll wait."

"Thank you. That's all I ask."

"You are so amazing we want you to ourselves."

I put my foot on him. "Wait your turn."

"Gladly." he says stroking my foot.