#landslide chapter 4 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

knightjpg · 2 months ago

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landslide | chapter 4

chapter tags: alcohol mention, reader has a toxic boyfriend, implied cheating on reader by said boyfriend

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You dream of the ocean.

Blue against blue, hot dry sand between your toes. The aftermath of salt under your tongue. You're swimming. You look, feet kicking, hands paddling, but there's no shore to break your line of sight. The horizon stretches until it fades, a blurry blue line as vast as the world.

You don't feel afraid. You're just tired. Your arms and legs feel so heavy, and the water feels heavy, too. Waves are coming faster, weightier; you dip below and break through the surface—

until you're pulled under.

Buried alive under big heaving wells, swallowed down by surface gravity. You claw against the water, desperate, fighting for air—

and cough yourself awake. Your chest hurts, tight with the remnants of your nightmare, and for a split second you feel panic when a weight presses on you; but it's just Kettlebell who curled up on top of you somewhere during the night.

Upon feeling your hand in his fur his head lifts, big dark eyes blinking hello. Then he yawns and hops off you. Now that you're awake his job is done, and he can go annoy Mim in peace.

When you swing your legs over your bed you groan, pressing a hand to your forehead. Your temple throbs, occasional pinpricks of pain shooting like stars over your eyes.

Last night comes back to you slowly.

The bar, the too-many drinks, no sight of Dave. The kind stranger who listened to your blubbering about your boyfriend.

Hot shame rushes through you now that you recall your words in the wondrous, headache-inducing light of sobriety. God. You totally unloaded on a guy you'd never met before and then he...

He called you a cab, didn't he? And made sure you were sent home.

You bury your head in your hands and mouth the words what on earth is wrong with me.

The mortification is enough to eat you alive. You vow you'll never let it get that far again—with alcohol or waiting for Dave that long. Speaking of which...

You raise your head and grab for your phone. Predictably there's an apologetic text from Dave waiting for you:

01:24 Srry missed your calls, smthing came up with a friend x

You stare at the screen for a long moment.

Slowly, like your fingers haven't quite made up their mind yet about replying, you type out an answer.

08:50 I waited a long time for you.

You chew your lip as you send it, feeling anxious and small. When Kettlebell returns to the bed to let you know his and Mim's food bowls are still offensively empty, you shake yourself out of it and go through the motions of your morning routine.

Before you hop in the shower, however, you can't resist another peek:

09:22 Make it up to you?

You exhale.

See? He doesn't say it explicitly, but he's sorry. He'll make it up to you. He cares about you.

Life happens, things get in the way. You have to believe that. What is a relationship if you can't trust your partner?

What is a relationship if not the feeling of throwing yourself off the tightrope and waiting for the other to catch you mid-fall?

“Wear the sluttiest one you have,” Liv says. Her voice crackles on speakerphone; her face is out of frame on the video call, bending down to apply her eyeliner.

You laugh. “The sluttiest—? God, I don't know if I even have anything like that.”

You sift through your clothes again, slowly, pulling out one or two things that might make the cut. It's been a while since you've gone out with just friends, just for fun, just for yourself.

Without Dave.

He hasn't made good on his promise to make it up to you yet—says that with his holiday coming up he's extra busy, has to make sure things don't fall apart once he leaves.

The reminder of the stupid Bora-Bora trip with his stupid marketing colleague has been enough to leave you on edge.

And while you don't think Liv and you will ever become best friends she's been kind. When you texted her in a fit of tears about Dave flaking on you again you expected excuses for his sake—

You're so lucky!

—but instead she called him a cunt and said you should join her and some others to go dancing. Shake your ass and make him regret on losing out on time with you, she'd said, and even though it's not your thing you agreed.

If only to feel like you could.

“Wait, what's that one? The black one?” Liv peers into the camera. One eye is perfectly made up, smoky dark eyeshadow contouring an arched, pencilled-in brow.

“This one?” You pull the dress off its hanger and hold it up for the camera to see.

It was an impulse buy. On sale. The fabric felt soft and stretchy, and even though you could see your panties in the changing booth mirror when you bent down you loved the look of it too much to leave it.

You'd just started dating Dave. You remember you were still feeling giddy and excited with that nervous kind of confidence that made you blush and smile and think maybe I'll wear it for him one time.

It's been gathering dust in the back of your closet ever since.

“Yesss,” Liv says. “That's what I'm talking about.”

When she goes back to her make-up table you hold the dress up in front of the mirror.

It doesn't feel like you.

It feels like the person you once really wished you were, and even that wishful optimism is no longer part of your repertoire.

You turn around. “Hey, do you think—”

Your phone buzzes, covering Liv's face with a popup that says in big white letters incoming call!

You grab it quickly, throwing your dress on the bed. “Hang on, someone's calling—”

With one swipe Liv disappears, and you hold the phone to hold to your ear. Unknown number.

“Hello?”

“Simon.”

“Nice to finally meet you,” you smile, and shake the massive hand held out to you. Simon runs warm; his grip is firm and brief. “I, um. I heard about your mother passing. From Beth. I'm so sorry.”

He averts his eyes for a moment. They're a lovely warm shade of brown, starkly contrasted against his pale skin and blond lashes. Up close you see shadows of nicks and scars. Souvenirs from his work.

“Thanks.”

He hardly says another word all evening. At times it feels more like he's watching over rather than participating in your little party of friends gathered at Tommy and Beth's apartment; a hulking shadow brooding in the corner, shying away from the inner circle of light and laughter.

It'd be easy to forget he was there, but you don't.

You're a little fascinated by him. If Beth is like your sister, what does that make him? Family by-proxy-by-proxy. You've heard enough about him to decide he's got a good heart underneath his withdrawn demeanour, and it makes you eager to forgive what others might see as rudeness.

You sneak looks all throughout the get-together, in between board games and salty snacks and bad jokes. Try to map his heavy brow, his serious gaze, the scar running over his chin that mirrors the one Tommy has on the back of his neck.

After the first few times you chalk it up to coincidence. But when you look again, again—those brown eyes meet yours. It confirms:

Simon's been looking at you, too.

“I don't understand,” you say.

You're not convinced this isn't a prank call. No, worse—a scam. Even when “John” reads out Joseph's place, date, and time of birth—even when he could tell you Beth's middle name or Tommy's last place of work.

There's just no way.

“Just... after eight years? Isn't that a crazy long time...?”

A begrudging pause. “I can't tell you everything, sweetheart. Confidential. You understand.”

You try to. Simon left you something, John said. Wouldn't say what. Couldn't say how. But it's for you, if you want it, just making sure—

Of course you want it, you tell him. You have a P.O. box, he can send it anytime—

“It was requested you receive it in person,” John says. “On base.” Paper is shuffled and shifted in the background. Faintly you hear a door open and close. “There's one not too far from your address.”

“John” gives you the directions, and a quick google shows that he's not lying; there really is a base close by, and it fits John's description.

“Okay. Um... Do I need to bring anything?”

“Your ID should do.” John clears his throat. “I'll have one of mine handle it. Mention my name—John, Captain Price, whatever you like—and they'll sort you out.”

“Alright. Thank you...”

You end the call feeling dazed. Tonight was supposed to be for letting go of everything, for living in the now, in the moment—and suddenly the past comes knocking at your door.

The anxiety returns like a wave crashing on your shore.

You should be over this by now. It's been so many years. You've cycled through all of grief's vicious stages, and the sadness and loss has dulled to the point you don't think of it anymore every day. And even then—it was Beth who was your best friend, Beth who you cried for the hardest. Not Simon. Simon was—

(family by-proxy-by-proxy)

—special.

But him leaving you something behind shouldn't be enough to derail the peace you've clawed out for yourself.

Right?

You tell Liv it was a family thing when she asks, but she's concerned, says you look pale; “Are you sure you're up for going, babe?”

You open your mouth to say yes.

Before you can, though, a notification pops up. It's Dave. You told him you were going out earlier today and received no response—more and more often these days, you remember thinking—and shrugged. Put it out of your mind.

You open the text.

Oh I was thinking we do chinese tonight and a movie marathon

You bite your lip, hard. Text back, Sorry, maybe some other time?

He's not usually one to respond so quickly, but the three dots pop up before you're even done typing.

We can go out together sometime

Just call and cancel

I'll get your fav <3

—you crumble.

It's pathetic, but right now all you want is someone's arms to bury yourself into and to cry on a familiar shoulder. To not be alone in a crowd of strangers with girls that you don't know very well.

You take a shuddering breath and try for your best apologetic smile. “Liv? Sorry. Um—I think the family call thing got me a little harder than I thought.”

How do you explain what Simon was to you? What Beth and her family were to you?

“I'm really sorry for flaking on you suddenly, but is it okay if I go with you next time?”

“Of course, babe,” Liv rushes to assure you. “Take it easy, okay? You really don't look so good. We can go out dancing anytime—I'll add you to the groupchat.”

“Thanks. Have fun,” you tell her, and she says she will before the screen goes dark.

With trembling hands, you press the call button.

“Um, sorry. Am I in the way?”

“Not at all.” The guy before you flashes you an easy smile. “Want one too?”

You nod yes, and watch him pour you your drink. He has nice hands; slender, nails neatly trimmed, a plain watch around his wrist.

“I'm Dave,” he says as he hands you your drink. You accept with a smile and offer your own name, and go through the usual so what do you do for work, who do you know here, did you come with a friend, what food did you bring to the potluck?

“Er,” he says a little sheepishly, “just drinks, I'm afraid. I can't cook to save my life.”

“It's not so hard once you get started. They've got these food delivery boxes now, where you just get everything you need for a meal.”

“Ah, I want to, but. You know.” Dave gestures with his hand. “Work keeps me so busy when I get home all I want to do is pass out.”

You give him a sympathetic smile. You know that feeling too, all too well. “So that's why you're here, huh?” you joke. “To eat your fill and then leave before the cleanup?”

Dave winks. “Oops. Saw right through me.”

In the end Dave does stay for cleanup, though you suspect he only does so because he wants to talk to you after and ask for your number.

You're a little surprised at yourself for giving it.

It doesn't have to mean anything, you tell yourself later on the way home. It can just be practice. Getting back into the dating scene after disappearing from it for a few years.

Worst case you try a one-liner on him and he ghosts you.

Part of you hopes he doesn't, though. You enjoyed talking to Dave. He seemed nice. Normal.

Uncomplicated.

Beth would want that for you, too, you decide when you close the door behind you. A nice normal bloke you can live a nice normal life with. You can't hide yourself away forever; the excuse of work keeping you too busy to socialise is wearing thin.

Who knows? You smile to yourself as you drift off.

Maybe this could be the start of something really good.

Dave leaves early in the morning when you're still half-asleep in bed. You don't remember getting there last night; he must've carried you over after you fell asleep on the sofa.

You wrinkle your nose at the empty plastic containers littering the low table in the living room. It's messier than you remember it; Dave even forgot his jacket, still thrown over the back of the sofa. You pick it up and dust it off—

...?

You frown and lean in, sniffing the jacket.

Traces of something sweet and fruity still cling to the fabric.

You stand there, in the still morning light spilling through the windows, holding the jacket and staring at it. You're overreacting. You're reading into it. You're so sensitive. Jumping to conclusions.

Dave doesn't usually wear scent, does he?

crazy bitch, possessive cunt, stupid whore—

...But maybe he's started to. You'll... you'll ask him about it. That should be okay, right? You'll ask him, and then he'll say oh, yeah, just trying out this new thing.

And the world will be right again.

Tears prick at your eyes and you blink them away, carefully hanging Dave's jacket onto the hanger in the hallway. You avert your eyes as soon as possible.

You don't want to think about it.

If you do, you'll just make yourself go crazy. Talk yourself into doing something stupid, like calling him and then blubbering accusations at him like a lunatic.

You breathe out. No. This is your free day, and you're not going to spend in moping inside. You scoop up Mim, who's come out of his hiding place, and kiss his little head while he purrs in your arms.

You're going to feed your cats, feed yourself, and then...

Then you'll go to that military base. Get it over with. It'll get you out of the house, out of your head, make you think about something else than Dave wearing a woman's scent.

Even if that something else is the dead brother-in-law of your equally dead best friend.

#cod mw2 #cod x reader #ghost cod #simon ghost riley #ghost mw2 #simon riley #ghost x reader #ghost/reader #simon ghost riley x reader #x reader #simon riley x reader #ghost x y/n #simon riley x you #simon ghost x reader

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libraryofloveletters · 3 months ago

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Chapter One: United Front

Jenson Button x Teammate!Fem!Reader

Warnings: new teams, friendships are being built and brought down at the same time, jenson is a bit unsure how to feel now that the spotlight isn't on him, jealously, championship fights are coming from inside the house, so many feelings, the basis of the story is being built here, the initial sweetness wears off.

Word Count: 2,520

Author's Note: welcome to the new series! I promise I will try to be consistent, I'm excited to see what's in store.

Bound By Fate Masterlist

Young and naive; the headline that covered all the front pages from the moment you stepped foot on track.

You, y/n l/n, were all but 22 years old when you had your Formula One debut. Mclaren had been good to you, Ron was more than happy to have you on the team - young, fresh talent, no one does it like you.

The first year had been painstakingly hard, it was a big jump from test driving. A fuck up on a closed track doesn't have a much of an impact as one on a full, live track with thousands of people watching. It took you a few tries - Australia, Malaysia, China, Bahrain and Spain before you found yourself in sunny Monaco.

Your first points, your first podium finish. It was insane to think you managed to get your first points and podium on the same day.

That was the day you knew you were doing what you were supposed to be doing. That you did deserve your spot there and you were going to do everything in your power to prove to everyone that you were worthy of it.

You proved your worth, despite getting a late start on your point scoring, you managed to rack up 73 points over the course of the season. By the end of it, you were all but 4 points short of the championship podium. Speaking of championships, you remember the day as if it was yesterday.

The rain brought a sense of excitement with a tiny bit of fear. You and Lewis were starting P6 and P7 and the current championship contender, Jenson Button was in P12. All he needed to do was score 5 points, needing to move up from P12 to P4. He didn't do it coming in one place short but still winning the championship by a landslide, washing Sebastian and his own teammate, Rubens, out.

When the news broke that Jenson would be moving to Mclaren, you felt every emotion possible; happy, sad, nervous, scared, calm.

You had no idea what you were in for, unsure if you two were going to get along or if he'd be an arrogant stuck up prick. Up until that point, you had very minimal contact with Jenson. A hi and hello in passing, a chat at press conferences; you weren't part of the inside jokes or the hang outs, you were there to race and that was that.

It took only the pre season and before you knew it, the two of you clicked like the last two pieces of a puzzle.

"When your drivers get along, it's easier to work, to fight for wins, for championships." Jenson read the quote from Ron, a bass added to his voice as he paced the length of your hotel room. The two of you had returned from dinner not too long ago; a post podium tradition you've built in a short time.

"He'd be pissed if he heard you," you tell him, sitting cross legged on the bed. Jenson shrugs, tossing the newspaper he picked up from the lobby onto the nightstand, flopping down next to you.

"Oh well," Jenson tells you, looking over at you. "Good job today, I don't think I told you."

You two had come in P1 and P2, Jenson taking second place as he's done the last 3 races.

"Yeah, thanks." You smiled, "you did well too."

The two of you had been in contention for the championship all season, fighting for P1 and P2 back to back all season. This was your second season as teammates and you were having a better run than the first time. The first season, you were close, right behind Sebastian and Mark; you in P4 and Jenson in P3.

It was a year of dominance for McLaren, for you and for Jenson.

Despite what the reporters were predicting, you and Jenson were as close as always, nothing but 4 single points separating the two of you.

4 points was all that separated the two McLaren drivers going into the summer break, you in P1 and Jenson in P2. You had one more race before the break, a chance for Jenson to push himself into the first place spot for the break.

You weren't giving in.

Friends or not, you had cemented yourself in the P1. You belonged there, you worked too hard to let it go. You'd do anything to make sure you stayed there, playing dirty if need be.

You and Jenson find yourself sitting apart from each other, Sebastian and Fernando between the two of you. There's a sea of reporters in front of the 4 of you; the 4 drivers in the first 4 slots of the championship.

All but a few points keeping all of you apart, it really was anyone's game at this point.

The first reporter speaks, starting the questioning. "Jenson, as we head into the summer break, do you feel confident that you can secure those 4 points and ultimately beat your teammate in the standings?"

Jenson chuckles, glancing over at you. "It's possible, 4 points isn't a lot but knowing y/n, she's going to put up one hell of a fight."

You smiled at his response, nodding. Sebastian chuckles, nudging you with his shoulder. He knew you just as well as Jenson did, the two of you have had it out on track. You gave it your all every race, you didn't have anything to lose.

The same reporter added another question but directed to you now. "Y/N, with the upcoming race this weekend, do you plan to give Jenson a bit of a break and let him secure those 4 points, or will you be pushing hard to keep your position ahead of him?"

You picked up the mic, "why should I give him a break? I know we're teammates but we're not fighting for the good of the team, we're both in contention as of right now. Both Jenson and myself are here to win, a win is a win. I know Jenson wouldn't give me a break, so I'm not planning on giving him one."

The reporters seem to be eating up the answers from both you and Jenson, the spotlights were on you two. There's a few more questions being asked.

You and Jenson are the picture of perfect teammates, or at least, that's what you want everyone to believe. On the surface, you're both laughing, exchanging inside jokes, and giving off all the right signals of camaraderie. But beneath the surface, something's shifting; something neither of them seems to notice yet.

Small moments linger too long, words are said with just a touch more edge, and there's a tension in the air that no one can quite put a finger on. The rest of the room feels it, though, the subtle cracks beginning to show, the invisible divide growing wider with each passing moment.

It’s only a matter of time before it all comes to a head, and when it does, no one will be able to pretend it was ever fine.

Dismissed from the press conference, you find yourself prepping for the race, going through your usual routine. You get dressed, pull your hair back into a braid and you get yourself hyped for the race and always, you wait for Jenson, the two of you heading to the grid together.

P3 for you and P2 for Jenson. Sebastian was on pole with Fernando in P4 along with the rest of the cars lined up behind you.

It was windy and grey, you looked up at the sky, trying to see if the rain would come down. Your engineer, Mac, tells you not to worry about the weather. If need be, you'll pull in and switch to wets.

You didn't like this.

There’s a gnawing feeling in the back of your mind, your stomach twisted in on itself. A sense that something’s off, but you can’t put your finger on it. Everything looks fine on the surface, but there's something about the way the air feels thick.

You can’t shake the sense that something is about to go wrong. You just don’t know what or how.

It’s like waiting for a storm you know is coming but can’t quite see. The feeling lingers, heavy, and all you can do is wait for the shoe to drop, knowing it’s only a matter of time.

You look up at the sky once more, the grey clouds rolling in over the Hungaroring, you can't help the unsettling feeling that's creeping up on you.

There's a hand on your shoulder, bringing you back to the present. Jenson stood in front of you with a cheeky smile, "taken up bird watching, y/n?" He asks.

"Shut up," you huffed, smiling at him with your arms folded over your chest. "Ready?"

"As I'll ever be."

"Good luck." You smiled and Jenson returned the smile. "Yeah, you too."

You put your helmet on, getting into the car. Last minute checks to make sure comms were working and everything was in order. You go over weather changes and the plan with Mac once more before he pats your head, giving your shoulder a squeeze and the grid clears off.

You couldn't shake the feeling of impending doom. One last look up at the grey clouds, the fans standing around with umbrellas and ponchos in case of the rain. Your focus on the lights ahead.

3..

2..

1..

Lights out.

It’s been a tough race, the kind that keeps you on the edge of your seat. The three of you, fighting tooth and nail for P1, constantly swapping positions. Every lap felt like a high-speed chase between you, Jenson, and Sebastian. You had the advantage at some points, then Jenson would slip past, and Sebastian was always lurking, waiting for any opening.

The intensity of it was like nothing else, the tension thick with every corner.

Just as the race was reaching its peak, the skies darkened. What had been a perfect, dry track quickly turned into an unpredictable nightmare.

The rain began to fall, light at first, then harder, turning the surface into a slip and slide. Drivers were forced to change, and the pace slowed dramatically. Every move became a calculated risk, and tire management was now as crucial as ever.

With the rain coming down harder, the decision was made: time to pit for wets. The pit crews were ready, and as you peeled off into the pit lane, the world outside seemed to blur. Tires were changed quickly, but it was a crucial moment, getting it wrong could cost you.

When you rejoined, the race was no longer about who was fastest, but who could keep their cool as conditions got difficult.

In the end, it was Sebastian who managed to hold on, keeping P1 until the checkered flag waved. You pushed hard for that last minute move, and came in just behind him to secure P2. Jenson held his ground, taking P3, making it a tight top three right to the finish.

Despite not getting the win today, the results put you in a good spot.

With that P2 finish, you still managed to maintain your lead in the championship standings, staying ahead of Jenson and Sebastian as the midseason break rolled in.

It’s a small gap, but it’s enough.

You head into the break in P1, with the knowledge that you’ve got what it takes to hold onto the top spot. The competition is strong, but the battle is far from over. Every point counts, and you’ve just set the stage for what promises to be a hectic and messy second half of the season.

You all stand together for the photos at the top of the podium, the bright flashes of cameras filling the air. There’s something different about Jenson.

You can feel it, a subtle coldness coming from him, a distance that wasn’t there before. As you glance his way, you catch his eye for a split second, but instead of him acknowledging it, he quickly turns to speak to Sebastian, his attention fully on the German.

The moment is brief, but it leaves a strange feeling lingering.

You tell yourself it’s probably nothing, just the exhaustion from such an intense race. Emotions run high after a race like that, and maybe the tension is just getting to everyone. You try to brush it off, chalking it up to the pressure of the day, the fatigue that comes with giving it everything on track. But even as the photos continue and the celebrations roll on, you can’t help but wonder if something's changed.

The 3 of you together for a photo, covered in confetti, champagne and rain, there are smiles on your faces, your arm around Seb, bottle of champagne in your free hand. Jenson's focus is on Sebastian, he doesn't even so much as look at you.

After the podium, you head straight to the press pen, where interviews are lined up and the usual buzz of reporters fills the air. You and Jenson are across from each other, each doing separate interviews, the distance between you both oddly noticeable now, the tension from before the race smothering everyone in its vicinity.

The reporter in front of you smiles and asks, “How’s everything going? How are you feeling after today’s race?”

You nod, trying to keep things positive, even if there's a strange weight hanging in the air. "I’m good," you say, smiling. "Happy with the points, happy for the team. A double podium is a good result, and we’ll take it."

Meanwhile across the pen, Jenson’s interview seems to take a different turn. When Jenson was asked about his race, he didn't hold back.

“I wish I’d been P1," he says bluntly. "But I’m focused on the bigger picture. The championship is what matters. What other drivers get in the standings? Doesn’t make a difference to me.”

The reporters picking up on the contrast, turn back to him. “Y/N had some nice things to say about your drive today," one of them says.

Jenson barely looks up, his response flat. "I’m sure she did," he mutters, brushing it off without a second thought.

It’s a small moment, but the tension in the air is palpable. Everyone in the room feels it, the growing divide between you and Jenson.

Somehow, you’re the only one who doesn’t see it. For you, it’s just another race, another round of interviews. The contrast between the two of you couldn’t be more apparent.

You, still smiling, still positive, unaware of the ice that’s slowly creeping into Jenson’s tone. You had no idea what was brewing just beneath the surface. You hadn’t picked up on the subtle shift; the small moments when Jenson used to smile at your jokes, the times he’d offer advice after races, the camaraderie you thought you shared.

Now, it was like you were looking at a stranger.

But it’s clear to everyone else that something’s shifting, and the cracks are starting to show.

---

taglist: @67-angelofthelordme-67 @clementinesjuice @tazskylarstonguepiercing @amelielazozo @percervall @elissa-shelby @that-aesthetic-chic @vi0letblu3s @reiofsuns2001 @23victoria @sebvettelsgirl @Briannash-worlds @Darkomiomi @ru-kru @Myescapefromthislife @mehrmonga @dear-fifi @steamy-smokey @aishisorbet12 @feelslikealbon @kimiracing07

see the masterlist to add yourself to the taglist!

#bound by fate series #jenson button #jenson button x reader #jenson button x you #jenson button x y/n #jenson button imagine #jenson button fanfic #jenson button series #f1 #f1 x reader #f1 x you #f1 x y/n #f1 x female reader #f1 x teammate!reader #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #f1 series

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gg-pedro · 1 year ago

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masterlist!

series: can you hear the music

summary: everyone in jackson is trying to distract themselves from something. you teach ellie piano and find yourself trying to help more than one miller settle into their new world. you learn a few things, too.

pairing: joel miller x reader

warnings: 18+ content (MDNI), post outbreak!joel, jackson!era, AFAB!reader, platonic!ellie x reader, implied age gap, fingering, unprotected sex, oral, dom!joel, protective!joel, pet names, brief descriptions of an injury, mentions of blood, gore, hurt/comfort, some fluff, mental health discussions, joel grieves, lots of angst

chapters (completed):

1: reaction forces

2: don't invest in me

3: landslide

4: the archer

5: roar of thunder, hear my cry

6: i would bet the house on you

oneshots:

spin worlds (3.6k): strings attached are easy enough to ignore when you're only trying to survive. when joel gets hurt, the world stops spinning, and you realize that you matter more to each other than you ever let yourselves believe.

Joel Miller's Midwestern Road Trip Fantasy (2.4k): an AU of the journey out to wyoming, wherein you and joel's car troubles take a little more elbow grease to solve than strictly necessary.

#cyhm series #masterlist #gg-pedro writes #pedro pascal #joel miller fic #joel miller x reader #joel miller tlou #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x you #Joel Miller x reader

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ogh-rambles · 5 months ago

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Rewriting Fate - Chapter 4

chapter 3 > chapter 4 (you're here!) > chapter 5(in progress...)

word count! 2k.

warnings! only curses but if u count angst as one... a/n: oh boy we're back with the famed scene (click here for the full scene of the art below!)

A short, comfortable small talk envelops your party as Katsuragi guides you both to the village, an ever-present smile on his face.

“I see… I’m glad you left that place before the landslide hit.” The man hums thoughtfully. “And your friend…”

Katsuragi’s gaze eventually lands on the golden feather that sways from Kuni’s neck, the latter restless under his intense stare.

His dark eyes grow wide at the sight, shocked to see an item of such importance so far from the mainland where Tenshukaku stands. “You... You have the Plume of Luxury. What affiliation do you have with the Shogun…?”

You stiffen at his words, watching as he quickly notices Kuni’s avoidance in question to the topic behind the feather. Kuni nervously clutches the golden ornament in his palm, moving closer to you.

Pausing, Katsuragi clears his throat, nodding to himself as he averts his attention away. “I suppose it’s for the best that you keep your background to yourself.”

Kuni nods quietly, tucking it into his collar.

Your eyes move on from the two, quickly distracted by the plentiful clusters of homes and warmly lit windows emerging in the distance, exposing a much more lively view of Tatarasuna than you were previously familiar with. The buildings were in their prime, the wooden panels worn yet steady under your feet as you made your way into the village under the cover of night.

The aching sensation in your heart grows strong as you take in the prosperous village, knowing what is to come in a matter of years. Guilt, maybe. Hope? You’re already scared of the butterfly effect that was inevitable with your arrival, but you can’t help but wonder what would happen if you gave a small hint here and there. Would Tatarasuna still be thriving in the future as it is now?

Your wandering eyes meet the prototype beside you, who lights up under your attention, still holding onto your sleeve with his firm grasp.

What will happen to him then?

You barely stop yourself from face-planting into a wall of muscle as Katsuragi stops abruptly in front of a small home. He slides the door open and turns around, gesturing inside.

“I will take you both to my superior, Nagamasa.” Katsuragi briefly explains, ushering you both into the warm interior before he heads in himself.

Your shoulders sag at the heat that enveloped your shivering body, noticing a small, dusty fireplace nestled into one of the corners. It seems newly built, you note as you stare into the embers. A couple of leftover stone bricks were still stacked up precariously against the wall.

Kuni looks around, starry-eyed as he stands rather close to you despite the extra space, his synthetic skin cool against you. The one room was a little cramped to be housing three people at once, but you couldn’t complain. It was much better than the small cavern you and Kuni had found a few moments ago.

You lift your head, eyes wide at the sound of footsteps approaching.

“Ah, Katsuragi. I need your help with something, do you think… Oh?” A man, a little older than Katsuragi walks in from the other room, slipping through the sliding frame doors. He looks a little taken aback by the two strangers who seem just as lost as he. “And… whom might they be?”

So this was the man who would later be the one to slay Katsuragi when everything fell apart. You hold back a grimace, the soft murmurs between the two men turning into white noise in your ears as you study Nagamasa discreetly.

He hadn’t made an appearance in the game, so you were at least a little curious about what he looked like. Dark brows are drawn into a tight crease, and brown eyes, clear and sharp, flicker from his yoriki to you and Kuni.

He rakes a hand through black hair as he nods at Katsuragi’s explanation. The locks were a little unkempt, loose and just barely brushed his shoulders as he moved to face you.

“I apologise for the wait. Welcome to Tatarasuna village.” He murmurs, steady gaze flickering between you and Kuni. “Kasturagi has explained to me that he found you both while patrolling on Nazuchi Beach.”

It wasn’t really a lie. Katsuragi had found you on the beach as he said but had excluded any mention of you finding Kuni in Shakkei Pavillion.

You nod along to Nagamasa’s words as Katsuragi turns to the other man, gesturing to you.

“Yes, this is…” Katsuragi paused, looking a little sheepish. “Ah, my mistake. I forgot to ask you both for your names in the rush to get you both here.”

You blink. “Oh. Right.”

With hidden trepidation, you tell them your name, eyes darting down to your hands. Now your name was out there. You quickly move on from there, turning to the one sitting beside you, staring at you with wide shining eyes. Right, you hadn’t even told him your name.

Kuni whispers your name under his breath, lips curving into a small smile that had you mentally squinting against the pure light that emitted from him.

“And you?” Nagamasa quirks his brow, briefly eyeing the expensive-looking fabric that the other had donned.

Kuni shuffles uneasily beside you. “I don’t have one.”

The older man gruffly hums, scratching at his chin while Katsuragi frowns. “Don’t have one, you say…”

Katsuragi thinks for a moment before raising an offer with a subtle tilt of his head. “How about giving yourself a name? What do you think about that?”

The puppet’s eyes widen. “A name… for me?”

"You can think about it as you settle down in our village." Katsuragi leans back, crossing his arms across his chest. He seems pleased at the other's reaction.

The prototype nods as naive hope and admiration blossom in his hollow chest.

Nagamasa watches the interaction with an unreadable, neutral expression, clearing his throat.

“Now, about living in Tatarasuna…”

After introducing you to his superior, Katsuragi welcomed you both into his own home, offering a place to sleep for the night before they set up a place for you both to live in for the rest of your stay here at Tatarasuna.

As you comfortably lay in the warm futon that Katsuragi had so generously laid out for you in a spare room, you absentmindedly stare up at the ceiling. Your new companion was and had been staring at you for quite some time now, sitting on his futon instead of slipping under the covers.

You think back to the conversation you had with Nagamasa.

The inspector had given you two a chance to start a life in Tatarasuna after you revealed that you had no memory of ending up on the beach. You were to start learning the basics of swordsmithing by tomorrow morning along with Kuni. Despite having eased your worries about meeting Katsuragi and continuing the story as it was planned, you can’t help but feel a lingering concern.

Sighing exasperately, you flip to your side, staring back. Innocent indigo eyes blinked at you before a whisper filled the room. “Not sleeping? I thought you said humans needed to sleep?”

“Mn. Not tired.” You prop your head up on the pillow to face him better. “Why don’t you lie down? I know you don’t need sleep but the futon is comfortable.”

You watch Kuni let out a soft ‘oh’, before sliding into the covers stiffly, unsure of his movements. He glances at you for approval. “It’s… soft.”

“Isn’t it?” Settling down, you breathe out, the heavy weight on your chest a little lighter after talking to him. “Even if you don’t need to do the things humans do, doesn’t it feel nice to do them anyway?”

A soft shuffling noise comes from Kuni as he turns to you, the covers pulled up to his chin. He nods.

The corners of your lips naturally lift in amusement. “Now go to sleep. Isn’t it boring to stay up doing nothing all night?”

Shifting slightly under the thick blanket, the puppet finally shuts his eyes, letting his body rest like he saw you do before. It’s a little strange, allowing his body to fall slack when he’s so used to being aware of everything, eyes wanting to take in everything that the world presents him with.

Listening to your soft breaths fill the room, he can’t help but make his artificial lungs mimic yours. He knows he doesn’t need to breathe or sleep. But as he finds his body relaxing, his mind goes quiet.

Finally, he lets himself rest in your presence.

Sitting up, you watch with a bittersweet smile as your companion ‘falls asleep’. Moving slowly and quietly, you slip out of the sheets, your steps silent against the tatami mat as you cautiously move towards the doors.

You glance back with finality at the unmoving form under the sheets, your distant eyes skimming over his dark hair splayed out on the pillow to his tranquil resting face.

You had been contemplating executing this plan since you had first met him in the pavilion. Initially, you had thought that you had ruined everything by leaving the domain with him, however, things had worked out in your favour and now things were where they had always been.

Now only you were the abnormality in this moment. You weren’t supposed to be here. Staying would only mean you would distort the story more, and the thought of a future you didn’t know frightens you.

Feeling the biting wind against your skin, you rip your gaze away, slipping out the doors and closing it behind you with a soft click, walking across the wooden panels of the deck that surrounded the home. You had to leave before your hesitation got the better of you and you ended up making a decision that you would regret.

Your feet touch the grass as you ready yourself to leave.

“Where are you going..?”

Your heart sank, head whipping around. Shit.

He’s staring at you with wild, desperate eyes – confusion and terror written all over him. They dart frantically across your face, as if searching for any reason you might have for leaving the room without him.

It's almost painful to look at him, his trembling hand gripping so tightly onto his veil.

“...”

You say nothing.

What could you even tell him? That this was for his own good? That you swear that you’ll come back to him in the future?... That you were terrified to ruin his life more than it would become?

His expression grows more and more distraught at your silence and he stumbles towards you, desperately clutching at your clothes.

“Do you not like it here?” His thready voice quivers, sounding smaller than ever. “That’s okay, we can go…!”

The inner turmoil was back again, hitting you in full force. It was for his own good, you think to yourself. You’d rather carry the burden of leaving him rather than—

“... I’ll go with you! Wherever you go! Wherever!” His form shudders with every word, tears pooling in his eyes. “So...! So... Please... Please, please, please, please.”

“... Don’t leave me.”

You fail to swallow down the building lump in your throat, steeling yourself as you breathe in and—

…

You find yourself back inside, face vacantly fixed up at the ceiling again. The pressure on your heart is replaced with the arms of a desperate puppet clinging onto your body, his futon discarded for your own. He’s tense, and the extreme closeness is a little stifling but you can’t bring yourself to complain or push him away.

His face is buried into your shoulder, and your heart squeezes with immense guilt as you feel him hiccup softly against your shirt.

Your plan failed.

Closing your eyes, you exhale slowly as you tentatively reach up and card your fingers through his silken hair. He goes quiet, holding your arm tighter.

… There was no way you could leave now.

#rewriting fate #UPDATE!!!! WOOO #scaramouche x reader #genshin x gn reader #genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin x you #genshin wanderer #kunikuzushi x reader #scaramouche #scara #kabukimono #my writing

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kidicaruslover911 · 2 months ago

Text

Chapter 4: Interwoven Nostalgia

Mizu x Fem!Reader

a/n: uhhh btw reader is 22, Mizu 23 and Taigen is like 26

fun fact i did my research and during the 17th century, a trip with a boat from japan to europe took AT LEAST 2 whole years if the weather allowed it plus the stops for repairs and refreshments. you had to sail all the way around east and South asia, just to continue around africa and then sail upwards towards the european continent. i thought it’d be cool to share that with you

story on AO3

summary: Hope y’all missed Taigen (I didn’t 😒) a little more is revealed about the reader and her true occupations (idk if you could say it like that lol)

est. wc 9.1K

“I am owed my honor…” You heard an unknown voice announce.

”Then take it!”

‘What the hell were they talking about?’

Grunting in pain, you felt the freshness of the sea’s water brush against your face, slowly but surely beginning to regain consciousness as the last thing you remembered was a Fang charging right at you, his eyes locking onto yours as you cut his head clean off his shoulders.

Next thing you knew, your body was lying face down on the beaches ground, and you couldn’t seem to move a muscle.

When you tried to speak, your voice felt hoarse, and the words came out in a weak whisper.

Your vision was clouded and everything around you was a blur.

You couldn’t seem to catch your breath, but luckily, your heart was still pounding in your chest.

It was as if time had stood still, leaving you alone with your own thoughts.

Guiding a hand to your side, warm liquid soon covered it and you knew that it was only a matter of time before…scratch that.

You weren’t dying. Not yet. You couldn’t.

Bringing your bloodied hand back to your cheek, some of the scarlet fluid trailed down onto your chin, shaky breaths emanating from your lips, head completely empty.

With a fall from that height, your body felt like it had shattered into a thousand pieces, but you could feel that the majority of your bones had somehow stayed intact.

Why or how? You didn’t know.

A true miracle.

After killing one out of the Four Fangs, another one had set his eyes on your wounded side, noticing how much more blood would trickle onto the ground as the current situation forced you to perform literal acrobatics on the cliff’s landslide.

So what better opportunity than to strike your already weakened opponent in the bloody side of her abdomen? Strike you and not die.

He managed to do one of the two things he had intended to accomplish.

The Fang put your life a little more at risk, causing you to emit a piercing cry that echoed throughout the cliffs as you dealt him a fatal blow mid-air, completely dismissing the fact that you had no real support whatsoever before losing your balance and…

You had blacked out.

But apparently, not for more than a few minutes, in which the Four Fangs leader had died following another man’s appearance.

Wait- Another man? Other than the Four Fangs? Talking about getting his honor back?

Your eyes shot open immediately, a gasp leaving your lips as your blurry vision disappeared, looking over to just to be met with an unconscious and blood soaked Mizu with right next to him a stranger holding a katana over his head, ready to kill him.

If you had been attentive enough, you would’ve noticed the uneasiness in the man’s demeanor and how he wasn’t sure if this was truly what he wanted, but it was too late for that.

Fuck your wound and your ringing head, before you could even think about it, your fingers found their way around your katana, hardly helping yourself up with an annoyed grunt as you glared daggers at the stranger, running up to him as a battle cry left your lips.

His blade was about to drop onto your companion’s unresponsive body, right before he turned to meet your furious gaze, his pupils dilating as he looked he wasn’t sure to believe what he was seeing.

“GET AWAY FROM HIM!” Your small fist had managed to land a harsh punch onto Taigen’s face, making him fall onto the wet ground as his little gang only eyed you in pure shock.

There they were again, chasing after your friend, chasing him with wooden sticks and stones when all he did was try and find something for him to eat.

Not on their watch. They’d rather watch him starve to death than even catch a glimpse of his round blue eyes.

Luckily you had somehow made it in time, hitting their leader as you stood in front of Mizu, your small body earning him somewhat of a shield and this time, you came prepared.

Your blue eyed friend didn’t like this. She didn’t like it one bit. She didn’t like how you always put yourself at risk just to try and protect her from whatever.

You had a smaller bag bound to your side and it was filled to the brim…with stones.

Enough stones to take on Taigen and his horde.

You may have been small but at the time your talent in throwing various objects with great precision was something you had already developed at an early age.

And at the sight of your unspoken threat, the boy could only scowl, hardly laughing.

“Oh, look who it is guys? The dogs savior!” The kid smirked. “Or should I say, the dogs owner? Must have lost his pup again.” He rolled his eyes, never leaving your sight.

His insulting words only made your blood boil even more. Your stance was unwavering as you grabbed onto one of your stones, ready to shot your shot.

“Mizu is NO dog! And I’m not his owner but his friend! He didn’t do anything wrong and even if he did, I won’t let scum like you beat him up again! If you want to get to him you’ll have to beat me down first.” You exclaimed loud and clearly as Taigen couldn’t care less about your friendly feelings and empathy for the boy.

”His ‘friend’, huh? Then I guess that you should’ve kept him on a better leash, Y/N.” Taigen spat at you as he slowly got up again, pointing at the two of of you.

‘That brat.’ So she won’t have it any other way…

You weren’t scared because you knew what you were fighting for.

You were fighting to protect your friend. Your one and only. You were almost sure that Mizu would do the same for you and therefore, you had no regrets.

“GET THEM!”

Not her, not her again’ He thought.

Was it a curse or a fury? A vengeful spirit or some sort of ghost?

Just what in the world was he fighting right now?

Where was the little girl he so easily used to beat up despite her never backing down and always coming at him until she was left unconscious?

Where were the little fists that tried to reach him but couldn’t because of his superior strength and height?

The girl he so easily threw onto the ground, years ago when she challenged him in company of her master, dodging quickly but never striking correctly.

Where were the long taken breaths because of your short endurance and burning chest as you desperately aimed your messy hits at him?

No where.

None of it was to be found. Little Y/N had died a long time ago and was never to be seen again.

Weakness was never to be seen again.

With the way some of your blood had covered your cheek, dripping down your chin…and the way your eyes held nothing but pure rage and hate for him, Taigen just didn’t know how to keep his composure anymore.

A woman? Attacking him the way you were? No.

There was simply no way. He wouldn’t allow it. He wouldn’t allow you to dishonor him.

Not like she dishonored him.

A disgrace, that’s what you were, sullying the purity of the blade you handled with such grace and care…but a woman couldn’t possibly wield a sword the way you currently did, it just didn’t make any sense.

And yet, you were.

Taigen’s breath hitched as he caught a glimpse of your gaze. Irises filled with murder.

This wasn’t your first time doing this.

Now each breath you took was short and calculated with the sole intention of killing the man whose defense kept on crumbling with each blow as you fought him away from Mizu’s body.

You made sure to make him stay on the defensive as Taigen could only question whose idea it was to teach a woman to fight with such skill? Or to fight at all?

‘Could it be…?’

It had to be her.

You kept approaching him with your weapon drawn, your eyes locking on his.

Despite your injury, you stood tall and confident, at least you tried to, ready to defend Mizu at all costs.

Lunging at Taigen, your sword flashed through the air in quick, precise strikes.

Taigen was able to parry most of your swings, but a few managed to break through his defense, making him stumble back, his heart pounding in his chest.

Your attacks became even more fierce as more blood streamed down your side, adding more fuel to your rage.

You moved with agility and speed, your sword cutting through the air like a bolt of lightning.

Taigen, on the other hand, was struggling to keep up, his eyes fixed on your blade as it slashed closer and closer to him.

Between your relentless strikes, you spared a glance at the crest that was embroidered onto his kosode, making you want to laugh as you almost immediately recognized and ‘remembered’ what school he was from.

The ‘prestigious’ Shindo dojo. Again? But of course.

Against all odds, Taigen managed to find his resolve and charge at you, swinging his sword at you with all his might.

The two weapons clashed with a deafening clang, and for a moment, it seemed as if you had almost lost your balance.

But you were not to be deterred, and countered with a swift swipe of your own, cutting his hand in the process and knocking the sword out of the his hand, sending him falling onto the sand.

A loud yell could be heard from him, the man grabbing onto his injured hand as he tried to stop the blood from flowing.

‘No…This can’t be.”

He knew who you were. His heart knew.

But his mind rejected the idea of you, a woman dishonoring him in such a humiliating way. It wasn’t even a legal duel yet you still managed to beat him, in such a weakened state too…

’How the hell is she still standing?’ You only glared at him, lazily dragging your swords in the sand before holding it upwards into the air.

‘She’s completely crazy…It that it? This is how I’m going to die?’ Taigen stared at you as he tried to back away, pushing himself backwards as your steps only followed his fleeting ones.

You stood over him, eyes empty, blade held high, ready to deliver the final blow…but something stopped you - your blade escaped your grasp, hitting the ground as your knees followed, your members becoming limb and your breathing hectic, making Taigen raise his eyebrows at you and stare at you in slight confusion and relief.

You almost forgot how much blood you had been losing lately and honestly, you doubted the fact that your stamina was the only thing keeping you alive until now.

At the end of the day, you weren’t immortal and your head felt way too light, making you place your hands on your blood soaked side once again as you tried to prevent any more blood from escaping, a nasty sensation getting ahold of your abdomen.

This sudden change in attitude gave Taigen the chance to snap out of his trance and quickly get ahold of your blade, switching the tables as he gathered his courage and decided to show no mercy, just like you did moments ago.

He was a samurai and he had gotten his honor broken twice now. First by Mizu and now by you. A woman.

This had to be a warrior’s worst nightmare. Just when would it stop? Now.

He was going to put an end to this continuous humiliation now.

Now was his chance, you were vulnerable, unable to resist or protect yourself, agonizing on the ground as your back was the only thing facing him.

Taking one last breath, he visualized how your blade would pierce through your spine, warm blood splattering onto the beaches sand as your body would simply fall limb, unresponsive, before he’d turn your form around, seeing the shimmer of life leave those same restless eyes of yours.

And it would be as if it had never happened.

As if no woman had ever eyed him with the indifference of an assassin, slaughtering yet again another helpless victim.

It would have never happened.

’You are a samurai, she stained your honor…and she showed no mercy whatsoever…no mercy… no mercy…no mercy…no mercy…no…’

…

He couldn’t. Watching your painful squirming, he just couldn’t bring himself to do it.

It didn’t feel right and even with the recent events, he wasn’t one to backstab an opponent.

He had more respect for you than that.

You on the other side were waiting for an impact to release you from your torment, only to feel…none.

With a conflicted sigh, Taigen set your blade to the side, kneeling next to you before hesitantly placing his hand on your shoulder, which you instantly slapped off.

‘He has the chance to kill me here…right here and right now…what the fuck is he waiting for?’ You thought.

The time to kill your enemy is when you can, and yet he still didn’t strike you.

Despite your almost successful attempt to unalive him, he felt…pity for you.

You were in a miserable state and no one deserves death in such circumstances.

Not even you.

“Leave…” You gritted through your teeth.

Mumbling something underneath his breath, a single look at your side was enough for him to tell that you were doing anything but fine.

“You…leave.” You had recognized him the second your blades clashed against each other, remembering the terribly arrogant little brat he was.

Sure, people change, but that didn’t mean anything.

You didn’t trust him one bit.

Sparing him an exhausted glance to the side, you didn’t understand why he wanted to be all helpful and caring all of a sudden.

He tried to kill Mizu. Someone you care about.

Honorable or not, he considered killing him and that was reason enough for you to hate him even more than you already thought you did.

Even if you were sure to have banned these memories from your mind.

If it wasn’t for that, maybe, and only maybe you would’ve approached him in a more diplomatic manner.

Yet some people only understand the severity of their actions when their own life is in danger.

Taigen was no exception.

Mizu was tougher than he looked and so did you.

None of you would die here.

Not on your watch.

And if it weren’t for your blood loss, Taigen would’ve been a dead man by now, that much he knew.

If he had to be honest, your cold reaction didn’t surprise him at all, but then again, he couldn’t let you die here like this. Or Mizu.

He couldn’t afford to let you die if he had the capacity to help you somehow, he just couldn’t, not when he almost died by both of your hands, which unironically earned you both a place onto his shameful rematch list.

The thought did cross his mind: Since there were no witnesses of your impromptu ‘match’, his defeat against you never happened. You never legally challenged him and therefore he never lost.

That was if you decided to keep your mouth shut.

Keeping this deduction in the back of his mind, Taigen spoke to you again, this time more insistently.

He may be a samurai, a ruthless warrior, but he was still human and moral ethics weren’t something he lacked understanding in.

”Listen…I know that I’m probably one of the last people you’d want to talk to right now, but this is only going to work if you let me help you. We need to get you a doctor…I mean, we need to get you both a doctor.” Taigen tried to speak some sense into you, grabbing your bloodied hand to get a better view of your injury.

He needed you guys alive.

You both owed him his honor now. One more than the other as much as he hated the thought of admitting it..

”I am a doctor and I- I don’t need your help…nor do I need your compassion, Taigen. I’m fine.” you breathed out, glaring at him.

You’d rather choke on a thousand acupuncture needles than to have someone like Taigen help you.

”Of course, you definitely look like one right now, especially with the way you’re just waiting to bleed out…”

While this guy was just halfheartedly mocking your statement, you seriously regretted leaving your medical supplies down town.

If only you hadn’t forgotten them in the restaurant…How the hell did you even forget something like that?

After a few moments, silence returned as Taigen tried to reason you again.

“Y/N, my point is just that-“

Before he could even attempt to finish his sentence, a large man with a shaven head, no hands and a wooden stick in his in his mouth came running at him with all his might, taking him by surprise and pinning him to the ground within seconds.

‘Ringo…’ You thought, weakly glancing up at him.

Unlike the sweet and joyful nature you had seen so far, right now, the man was furious.

”GET OFF HER!” He barked, keeping Taigen to the ground.

”WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?”

Ringo angrily glared at him, waiting for a response.

“Not me, NOT me. The Fangs.” Taigen hastily answered as he turned his head towards you and Mizu.

The large man only spared you a look, a shocked gasp leaving him as he immediately got off of Taigen, hurrying to kneel beside you.

”You’re the swordswoman from the death duel earlier! I wasn’t sure if you had already left the town but I you forgot some of your belongings in the restaurant, so I thought- Oh… oh no…” He trailed of as he saw the state of your abdomen.

”Miss…you’re-“

‘Swordswoman…Death duel?’ The words resonated in Taigen’s head yet he couldn’t make any sense of them as he silently rose to his feet, keeping track of the conversation.

Ringo was about pick you up in his arms but you stopped him with a movement of your hand.

“Listen here, uhm..’Ringo’ was it?” You panted, still holding onto your side.

He nodded.

Taking another deep breath, you spoke. At least you tried.

”Alright, then listen. My name is Y/N and I’m Mizu’s old…friend. Delighted to meet you.” You struggled.

Accentuating your words the best you could, you quickly explained how you and Mizu were ambushed by the Four Fangs, how Taigen tried to kill him and how you managed to keep him away from your unconscious companion, almost costing him his life.

”Thank you for paying attention to my belongings but…Mizu is dying. Your master is dying as we speak, my friend is dying and we can’t waste any more time here while doing absolutely nothing.”

Thinking shortly, you had made your mind up.

You could pass out at any moment now but since Ringo had retrieved your medical armamentarium from the restaurant, that saved you a lot of time.

‘Maybe I could try and…’ You trailed off before verbalizing your decision.

“We need to get him somewhere safe…somewhere I can treat him properly“ You emphasized as you gestured at Mizu’s motionless body to which Ringo furrowed his brows, rapidly making his way towards Mizu.

”Master…Master no…” The chubby man urged Mizu into his grasp, picking her up in his arms as her sword escaped her grasp.

“He needs your support more than I do and I’m the only doctor available here so I guess-“

At the sound of your offer, Taigen just had to say something.

Treating Mizu when you weren’t in any better shape? You couldn’t possibly be serious.

“What? No. Y/N, you can barely walk let alone stand for too long. You can’t treat anyone right now.”

“I wasn’t talking to you.” You simply spat at him, making him protest even more.

“You won’t last a minute trying to ‘heal’ him and he doesn’t always need you to-“

“I already told you: I’m fucking fine. Why do you care anyways?” You let out an angry grunt, using your katana as a support to help you up again, more blood spilling onto the sand.

“Now why don’t you make yourself useful and help us get him somewhere far away from here?”

‘She didn’t change a bit. Still defending this dog at all costs.’ Taigen side eyed you.

You felt dizzy, but it was as if your body was moving on its own, with one mission in mind.

Keeping your friend alive.

Walking slowly walking ahead, a crimson trail sticking to your path, Taigen and Ringo were flabbergasted as they could only stare at you in disbelief while you let out sighs and breaths of exhaustion.

‘She can’t possibly care that much about Mizu… to the point of risking her own life…’ But he knew that trying to change your mind would be of little use, seeing you already making your way forward.

“There’s a shrine, up the mountain. He’ll be safe there.” Taigen murmured, taking Mizu’s blade and the Fangs leader’s broken sword with him.

‘I doubt that she’ll make it up there alive.’

Ringo also tried to persuade you from overstepping your body’s boundaries, claiming that he knew his way around some quick medicine too, but you refused to listen.

The only thing that rang in your head were one of the first words your master spoke to you.

”You’ve got a stubborn soul little one, I doubt that anyone could ever break it. After all, when I look at you, it’s as if I could see all the worldly desires in your eyes…I like that.”

‘Tsk…that woman.’

_______________________________________________

When you finally arrived at the shrine, you mumbled a quick prayer, excusing yourself for sullying this sacred place with your bloody form and hoped that whoever was up there, would help you keep your friend with the living.

Your friend.

What an hour ago seemed like an uncertainty was now crystal clear for you.

Mizu was still your friend. At least in your perspective. He must be, right?

Why else would you put yourself through such a hassle? Insisting on treating his wounds by yourself when you couldn’t even walk properly?

You cared for him, that much was true and you’d definitely go through the same alarming process for any other patient.

Right? Right.

Dismissing those insignificant thoughts, Ringo entered the shrine, Mizu seemingly having a bad dream as he called out unintelligible words in his unconscious state.

You followed them as you heard Taigen’s steps follow yours which made you halt in your tracks and have Taigen bump into your back, a confused expression on his face.

You only glared at him over your shoulder, not needing to say anything.

He was staying outside. End of the discussion.

Luckily, Taigen wasn’t in the mood to exchange any more words with you for now, and just rolled his eyes as he leaned against the shrines wall, giving you three the privacy you needed.

To your surprise, Ringo came prepared.

You hoisted a rug made out of straw over one of the wooden beams of the shrine, blocking out the view of Mizu’s body, away from prying eyes.

Ringo gently laid Mizu onto a blanket he had taken out of his receptacle, before getting some water to clean your blood stained hands and handing you your medical belongings.

While he was doing so, he couldn’t help but glance at your side. He just hoped that your endurance was as durable as you made it seem.

”Don’t worry. I won’t pass out on him.” You simply added, already feeling his anxious eyes on you.

“I have a patient to take care of and I will stick to doing so. You said you knew your way around medicine…if you could cook up some soup for him, with some yarrow and peppermint, that would be great.”

His eyes narrowed at your request. He trusted your judgment.

”I’ll add some elderberries. For his immune system.” Ringo nodded as you held a satisfied look at him.

‘Not bad. He knows the basics.’

Sitting besides Mizu, your first instinct was to unbind his scarf to check his pulse.

As you did so, it wasn’t too long until a surprised look rose in your eyes as you slowly took the cloth off, gently turning his head to the side while your cautious fingers grazed his rather…soft skin, checking his pulse as you let out a relieved breath.

He was alive. That was one fear out of the way.

But by further inspection you could only wonder.

‘His neck is so…delicate.” You thought, scanning his neck for an Adam’s apple only to find none, making you frown just a bit.

You made sure to try and keep a somewhat unbothered front since you didn’t want Ringo to notice your slight stupefaction.

Although…

Ok so, Ringo hadn’t really thought this through.

Taigen definitely wasn’t someone he wanted near Mizu since he tried to kill him and didn’t know that he wasn’t truly…let’s just keep it that way.

But since you claimed to be Mizu’s ‘old friend’ (?) and so ardently insisted on treating him on your own, he thought that you must’ve known something about that little secret of his.

Thinking nothing more of Mizu’s pretty neck, your hands moved to unbind his obi, asking Ringo to hand you a wet cloth you had sunken into some hot water, you carefully moved your friends haori to the side, making his injuries more accessible to you.

Some parts of the garment kept sticking onto his wounds, making the process take a little bit longer, your eyes getting bigger and your brows furrowing lower the more skin you unveiled, until…

”Ringo, if you could hand me-“ Sticking out your hand without looking at him, you spoke shortly trailing off as your breath slightly hitched, your eyes falling onto his exposed body with a scowl.

‘What in the world…what’s this?’

The man executed himself, paying no mind to the sudden shift in your voice as he pressed the wet cloth into your hand and started to cook up the medicinal soup for Mizu to drink later.

You quietly thanked him before returning your attention to Mizu, whose true identity didn’t really matter to you.

It was as if you didn’t care.

You didn’t care at all to be honest. You couldn’t care less because you were actually worried. Worried sick.

For his, no, her health. You didn’t utter a single word or at least, you were unable to because of how shockingly unsafe and painful those bindings looked on her chest.

For a second, you thought about removing them, but decided not to do so.

You felt like removing those bindings without her permission would be the most insensitive thing to do ever and so you left them as they were.

Yet the mere thought of her compressing her chest like this over probably more than just a few years made you sick.

’His, no…her ribs must’ve been completely compressed, her breast tissue damaged, her spine alignment altered…just imagining the chronic pain she had to endure, and overall the state of her lungs? How the hell did she even breathe with those on?’

You thought about all the medical consequences her bindings may have had on her as you asked Ringo for your needle and tread, ignoring how badly your hand was shaking.

It made you anxious.

Memories flooded back to you and you tried so badly to keep your composure, fighting back barely visible tears, starting to stitch her shoulder as neatly as you could.

“So it was you…” You whispered to yourself, a chuckle of relief gracing Ringo’s ears as you thought of a dirty job you never accepted and yet it was exactly that one job that had never truly left your mind.

In the end, you understood why she did it, why she had to get through all this suffering.

’Damn you, Mizu.’

Well, at least now you knew where her bad posture came from.

Minutes ticked away as you finally finished completely treating Mizu’s injuries and accomplished the unthinkable.

You let out a deep breath, letting Mizu’s apprentice know that you were done. Literally.

”Ringo, I…” You gestured at her clean stitches.

His reaction made your heart feel content.

“Oh my- You did it…you actually did it! You treated all of Master’s wounds! All of them..” Ringo stared at you with an amazement as you only gave him a tired snicker in return.

“Most of them were short but deep and he still has a high fever and cold sweats. I trust that with the combination of your foods and my treatments, he’ll be back on his feet in no time. He’ll live.”

Giving you a compassionate smile, Ringo spoke in agreement.

”Of course he will live. Master is the last person that knows how to die…”

“And it seems like you don’t really know how to either.” The man’s smile faded as his gaze fell on your side again.

You lightly caressed Mizu’s burning forehead, thinking of how lucky she was to have an apprentice like Ringo by her side.

Remaining a hundred percent loyal to her even though she was a complete stranger to him.

Remarkable.

And even if she stated that ‘he wasn’t his apprentice’, the little bell tied on the man’s feet said otherwise.

He told you about how she had bought it for him, because of how ‘naturally stealthy’ he was and how she’d keep on bumping into him all the time.

”Master said that the day I take that off, I’ll be discharged from my duties. I hope that that day never comes. After all, he is the greatest samurai I’ve ever seen and I wouldn’t want to be anyone else’s apprentice.”

Nodding silently, a beam rested on you face.

”Hm, I see. But why is it that you wish to serve him so badly? He may be ‘great’ to you but he can also be quite the difficult person you know…”

”Maybe, but I don’t mind”

Ringo’s answer was almost immediate and definitely took you off guard as you didn’t think he’d be such a patient guy.

“You sticked by his side until now too, no? Even though you just met.” He questioned, curious about your reasoning behind that decision but you didn’t answer.

”I want to become a samurai and be great, just like him. Just like you. You have the ability to save people’s lives and also to…take them.” His voice faded a bit on the last part.

‘Like me? Is that what greatness meant to him?’ You side eyed him.

His words reminded you of a less stressful time in your life, when you once so desperately pleaded your master to teach you her ways with a similar logic as Ringo just had explained to you.

You remembered the sole question she asked you at the time, a question that would decide whether yes or no, she’d consider to see as more than just a liability.

Your fingers were now attentively ghosting over Mizu’s cheek, eyes never leaving her almost peaceful form and scrunching your nose at the thought of your master.

You owed her your life after all.

Greatness…

”What does ‘greatness’ mean to you, Ringo?”

The question left your mouth before you could do anything about it.

”Well…” The man hesitated.

”You said that you wanted to be like Mizu or like me but what is it that he or I do… what is it that makes us so ‘great’ in your eyes?”

You made sure to use a masculine pronoun for her when speaking out loud, just in case Taigen would be listening in.

Speaking of which, you kind of wondered what he had been doing all this time.

Not giving Ringo a chance to answer, your own question somehow irritated you a bit.

You didn’t think that you were great at all.

You knew your worth, but a lot of your actions were anything but great.

Constantly disrupting the precious line between life and death was not something great.

It was nothing to be proud of.

Maybe it was in some people’s eyes but you just didn’t know what to think of it anymore.

At least, you made the majority of your money with that.

Some deserved that immoral disruption and in the end, you chose that path.

No one else.

After a moment of short silence, you slowly rose to your feet, a little hiss escaping your lips which alerted Ringo about your wound again.

”I- Miss Y/N, you should let me take care of it.” He pleaded, seeing you get up cautiously again.

Yet you ignored him, walking towards the entrance, your back facing him.

”Nothing great comes from being a samurai, Ringo. You are a good man with a good heart, but if you think that you’ll learn the definition of ‘greatness’ by following people like him or me…you’ll end up getting disappointed or even hurt very badly in the long run.”

You wanted to keep him away from any more bloodshed than needed but you knew that he wouldn’t listen.

“And I cherish your kind words, but I am no great person.”

A warning.

That was a clear warning, because you weren’t sure that he truly knew what he was signing up for by staying by Mizu’s side.

A path littered with death.

Nothing for a pure soul like his.

And you doubted that she’d have any interest in teaching him anything about ‘honor’ or ‘greatness’.

She wasn’t a samurai and neither were you.

The only person that could somewhat help him on the subject would be Taigen but he was anything but great.

You’d rather have yourself teach Ringo than that guy.

Greatness wasn’t something one could teach and everyone had a different opinion on the topic.

Standing in the middle of the doorway of the shrine, you took a look at your side once more.

It wasn’t bleeding as much as before but that wasn’t really a good sign.

Taigen was sitting on the front steps, turning to look at as you finally took notice of the bald spot on the back of his scalp, making the sides of your mouth quirk.

Huh…It all made sense now.

’Was this the ‘honor’ she took away from him?’ You mentally laughed.

Taking another step forward, Taigen could already see the snarky remarks coming and shot up from his seat, towering you with a mean glare as he stood in your way in order to intimidate you.

’This guy has some serious explaining to do…’

All you could do was let out a faint laugh, feeling your vision slowly darken which the man didn’t find funny at all.

”I was blind drunk when we fought and it wasn’t even a legally registered matc- oh… Y/N? Hey? Hey! Y/N??”

Before he could finish justifying himself, your barely conscious body fell straight onto him, resulting in Taigen having to halfheartedly catch you in his arms, worriedly calling out your name.

“Y/N?! Y/N- RINGO! Quick, she just passed out too!”

You may be Y/N but at the end of the day you were not immortal.

_______________________________________________

Later that same evening you had somehow woken up before Mizu, eyes flickering at the sensation of a magically stitched and thoroughly cleaned wound.

With the faint taste of medicine in your mouth, you pushed yourself to sit up, faced with a humming Ringo who had the touching idea to sew your kosode back together where it got ripped and washed all the blood off, the garment being perfectly folded next to you.

You were left in your black haori with nothing underneath. And your hakama of course.

It was your side that was injured and all he did was to treat it for you.

“Useful…” You muttered at him with a smile.

”Oh! Miss Y/N, you’re awake.” The young man noted as he returned his attention towards you.

“How long was I gone?” You rasped at him, feeling your throat being dryer than ever.

“About 5 or 6 hours actually. And yet you still woke up before Master. I made you two drink some of my medicine, and so, if you’re already awake I’d say that Master won’t be taking much longer.”

You nodded as you looked at Mizu’s immobile body, her expression being as relaxed as ever.

Clearing your throat, Ringo rapidly handed you a cup of water to rehydrate yourself before you let your eyes fall onto the kosode.

“My kosode…” You started as you looked at your folded clothing, feeling the fabric of your haori grazing your bare chest.

“I- I promise I didn’t look! Taigen came in at some point but I don’t think he saw anything he shouldn’t have. I just wanted to take care of your wound as quickly as possible. I don’t think anyone here would want you dying on us…”

Ringo panicked as he didn’t want you to think of him as some weird pervert that got his fill of your body while you were unconscious or anything like that.

Letting out a playful scoff, you paused him in his anxious rant. Ringo would be the last person you think capable of anything like this.

”Thank you, Ringo, for…not letting me die.” You thanked him with a light laugh “And don’t worry, I would never think of you like that.” Reassuring him with a touch on his stump.

Enjoying the moment of silence, you slowly but surely got dressed again, standing up again to which Ringo didn’t protest this time.

You were about to exit the shrine as you heard the chubby man’s voice echo in your ears.

“Miss Y/N…I have a question.”

You paused in your steps which he took as a green light to ask away.

“Earlier, when I took off your kosode…like I said, I swear that I wasn’t looking and I didn’t want to assume that you were a criminal but…”

”Give it to me in one sentence, would you?” You already knew what he wanted to get at and he could notice the dangerous shift in your voice.

“You saw my back, didn’t you?”

A defeated sigh met you, followed by a positive hum as Ringo didn’t want to touch sensitive subjects if you weren’t comfortable talking about them.

But he was still curious.

“Are you the person they call the ‘Damsel of Devastation’?” He asked innocently.

’The Damsel of Devastation’. The oh so famous yet mysterious female assassin that had been roaming Japan these past years, avenging women and easing their misery by killing their persecutors in exchange of a few coins.

It didn’t matter if one was a poor fisherman, or a lord with all the treasures of the world at his feet.

If a woman wished to be avenged she just needed to find a contact that would sort of lead her directly to you.

How? You didn’t know.

Maybe it was because of the many brothels you had stayed in…But all you knew was that even if you never stayed in one fixed place, they knew how to find their way back to you.

Rumors had it that a crane adorned the upper half of your back…How that came out was still a mystery to you.

‘Those gossipy prostitutes…’ was your best guess.

Fulfilling women’s unspeakable desires was what you did.

You had a sword and you knew how to use it. Confident and bold, a sight for sore eyes and yet so unpredictable. That was you.

And now, you had been caught, like a child with its hand in a box full of candy.

”Do you think I am?” Your eyes narrowed.

”’If by chance you see a crane on her back,then avoid her path or prepare for death, for it will attack. Avoid the path where the crane is seen, or a grim fate you shall soon meet’.” Ringo recalled as he saw your gaze darken.

Whoever came up with these lines must’ve been your biggest fan. Seriously.

You only laughed, turning to look at Ringo who held a serious expression on his face, leaving his question unanswered as you decided to take your leave.

”I’ll be taking a bath in the hot springs we passed by earlier.” You announced, amused by the man’s reaction.

As you made your way out of the shrine, you walked down the stairs only to find Taigen a few meters away, sitting in the snow and using a cut down tree trunk as a table.

‘Why is he still here…’ You cursed.

Seriously. Why was he still there?

A candle lightened his sight as he was writing something onto a paper.

No, two separate papers?

Mindlessly humming some tune, you walked up behind him, a hand quickly coming to cover your mouth yet the laughter that followed couldn’t have been more genuine.

You had to love Mizu for this one. She really fucked his up hair but not even in a bad way.

The cut was extraordinarily clean, didn’t even hurt his scalp. Excellent, just as expected from a swordswoman like her.

Taigen’s head snapped almost too quickly as he hadn’t noticed your presence yet your unrestrained laughing told him everything he needed to know.

“Well, I guess we can all see how ‘great’ you are from here now.” You giggled, pointing at the bald spot on his scalp.

“I AM GREAT! Mizu costs me my station and honor. I’ll have it all back when I return with his corpse.” He blurted, glaring at you like some spoiled brat that didn’t get what it wanted.

Looking over his shoulder, you read some sort of contract about a fight and…

”Hm. Forget it.” You spoke suddenly, reading the contents of the contract that held your name on it.

Getting back in front of him, the candles light illuminated your features, letting a hand rest on your hip.

“I didn’t kill you when I easily could have, Y/N.” Taigen started.

“So? That is your own burden to carry.” You retorted.

If he truly wanted you dead, he should have struck the moment he had the chance to. Sucks to be him.

”Your impudence truly knows no boundaries…Just shut your mouth and sit already. I’m almost done.” He gestured at you.

”Well excuse you, mister.” You rolled your eyes. “And I am not shutting my mouth. You already have my answer Taigen, I’m-“

“A contract for a duel. To be legal, registered and witnessed. The only thing left now is the date.” He handed you the paper as you scanned its contents for the second time, reading them out loud this time before ripping the contract apart, a fake smile finding itself on your lips.

”YOu-“ The male raged.

”I am no samurai and I couldn’t care less about that broken honor of yours.” You paused, taking in his murderous gaze.

“Mizu might owe you but I do not. I have no interest in stoking anymore futile conflicts with you ever again. And you are certainly not someone worth risking my life against.”

That hit him.

“If you truly want everyone to know that you got your ass beaten by a woman, be my guest but that will be your own lifelong shame to carry.” You spat at him.

You were being merciful.

You were sparing him from being publicly humiliated and he was being rather slow in understanding that.

Also you also just really didn’t want to fight him again.

He’s a pain in the ass. As simple as that.

Telling people about how you beat some big shot samurai was the last thing on your to do list.

“I’ll consider keeping this our little secret.” You added, finally disappearing into the woods, as you could sense literal steam fuming out of his ears.

And yet again, you had pissed off another man.

Seems like you simply couldn’t help it.

_______________________________________________

Enjoying the warm water that bathed your tired muscles, you let out a content sigh as the heat soothed your achy joints, and you closed your eyes, with your hair let down, allowing yourself to relax against a rock which supported your back.

Your clothes laid next to you, along with your sword.

You had taken your hairpin into the water with you, just in case something or someone might just feel like attacking you.

And you were right.

Soon enough, you heard the resonance of steel in the air and seconds later, you felt it against your own neck.

She said nothing but you already knew very well who it was.

Nonchalantly pushing her blade to the side with your hairpin, you scoffed.

She stood right behind you, towering over you while you simply sat in the water, not fearing any harm.

“Couldn’t even wait for me to finish my bath, huh?” You smirked, as she now held her blade over your head.

“Ringo told me everything.”

“You owe me.” You murmured, eyes closing again.

”…” Unfortunately, you were right.

”What do you want?”

”…An explanation.” Mizu rasped.

A chuckle erupted from your lips as you heard her request.

“Well, I guess that you aren’t the only one then.” The fact that she was a woman didn’t seem to shock you at all, not that she didn’t mind but it just made her even more suspicious of you.

Silence greeted your ears before she lowered her blade again, centimeters away over your head.

“The Fangs, I believe they called you the ‘Damsel of Devastation’.”

“Hm…” You nodded.

“I’ve heard about you and your ‘services’ and I don’t need a wanted assassin by my side.” She explained sharply.

”Bold of you to say, ‘unnamed samurai that cut through Shindo Dojo and had the Four Fangs on his back’” You mocked.

“Plus, you just said it yourself. I risked my life for you”

“I didn’t need you to do that.” Mizu replied coldly.

You shrugged. “Maybe, but a few minutes later and Ringo would’ve been met with a nasty surprise. Nastier than it already was.”

A short sigh was drawn by her as you just decided to ignore how stubborn she was being and simply get to the main point.

“Since you are so kind hearted and so ardently begging to pay me back for my efforts, I’ll just set one condition.” You cooed, still sitting in the water as you heard Mizu sheath her katana again.

At least she was considering to listen for once.

So you took your chance. This time a bit more formally again.

”Let me travel by your side…Please. That’s all I’m asking for. You’d have a free doctor, easier access to information and a vain beauty by your side.” Your eyes sparkled in delight, lightly joking on the last part.

“And needless to say that I know more than ‘just a way’ around a sword. Or any other weapon really. The choice is yours.”

Your ‘offer’ was tempting to say the least.(she knew that you’d keep on following her regardless of her answer) Mizu had to admit that you did have your qualities.

You had a stubborn soul, just like her…you were a doctor, a warrior…a friend?

Well, after your display of tenacity towards her, she knew that you were definitely still her friend.

But how could she trust you when you were one of Japans most researched killers?

Your true intentions were more than just vague to her but she failed to understand why you clinged onto her so badly.

“Is it a white devil that you work for?” She had her reasons for thinking so.

You hummed a ‘no’. You had no reason to lie to her.

Strange.

”Do you have a master who makes you want to risk your life, then?”

”Barely.” It had been ages since you had last seen that woman anyway.

“…”

”You keep me busy. I like that.” Well, that was only half true but she didn’t need to know that.

After a moment of contemplation, you knew that you had her right where you wanted.

You turned around in the water to face her, your eyes looking up as they met her rainy ones.

“How do I trust that you won’t kill me in my sleep?”

A mischievous smile graced your lips as you let your head rest in your hand, her gaze never leaving yours.

“You know, with all the dirty jobs I’ve taken on myself, there’s one that stuck out to me the most.”

Silence.

“It’s the one and only job I never accepted in the end but I still think about it from time to time…” You started, making sure she listened to your story.

”About two years ago, when I was passing by a small town, a person came to me for my ‘services’…”

”A woman.” Mizu’s voice cut through. “You barely kill for any men.” She added.

At least, that’s what the rumors said.

You nodded again. “A prostitute.”

“When she spoke to me at the time, she wasn’t really herself. She was frustrated and somewhat furious actually, as if she had been missing out on some precious ‘nutrients’…”

Continuing your rant, Mizu listened closely, trying to figure out what you were getting at.

”A drug addict. My best guess would have been opium.”

”…”

”Anyway, I told her to name me a price and you wouldn’t believe it: ten thousand koku!…”

Mizu only quirked her brow at the price.

“A bounty only few could resist.” You emphasized as she hummed in somewhat agreement.

“That was until I asked her who she wanted me to get rid of…so she explained how she was living with her daughter on a farm, married to a guy that lost his title or something like that-“

That’s when you saw Mizu’s body tense up, eyes glaring daggers at you as your words felt like the worst poison to her.

”Terrible mother if you ask me…” You continued mindlessly.

“She said that she had no use of her own daughter anymore, that her and her husband refused to give her any more money for her ‘medicine’ and how she struggled to feel any love or true affection for that same daughter…”

For some reason, she was hesitant. Her hand was hesitating to draw her sword at you again.

And you weren’t making it any easier.

”I don’t kill women. I give women satisfaction.” You husked at her as you could see how desperately she was trying to read your next move.

“Satisfaction that can only be obtained by their enemies bloodshed.”

Enemies that were often out of their reach and so, they needed a ‘latter’.

You didn’t think of yourself as a hero.

Other women did but you didn’t.

Why would you?

”She told me that her daughter would be easy to recognize…standing tall…strong…empty eyed…” You murmured, slowly making your way out of the water, furthermore revealing your glistening wet body, grazed with the illumination of the moon as Mizu subtly tried everything in her power to keep her eyes on your face only.

Not that you cared right now, really.

Moments later, your hand found itself ghosting its way on her shoulder, droplets of water falling onto it as your fingers found their trail onto her neck, continuing your very interesting story.

Meanwhile her hand was still hesitating about the thought of killing you right where you stood.

She wouldn’t dare. You knew it. She knew it.

Yet you were shameless.

Absolutely tormenting her with your oh so innocent yet harsh words and your calculated yet sensual touch.

But for some reason she couldn’t explain, she didn’t dismiss your intrepid hand. Not yet.

“Ten thousand koku, for a mixed girl with eyes colored like the deepest parts of the ocean.” You suddenly captured her chin between your slender fingers, making her look at you with her oceanic eyes, eyes that were currently filled with pure distress, disdain and…something else.

“I ended up telling her that I would see what I could do…only to leave the next day, having lost interest in her proposal.” You could see relief. Very slight relief in her orbs.

“To me, her daughter seemed to be some innocent woman, living her life with her husband while trying to keep her mother from drugging herself. Nothing worth fussing over.”

You finished with a tilt of your head.

You didn’t know if it was luck, or the fact that you had listened to your gut feeling, but at the time (and still today) you simply weren’t interested in killing off half breeds.

Especially when they didn’t do anything wrong.

Her hand shot up to grab your wrist tightly but before she could do anything about it, you leaned into her ear, whispering.

“If I tried to kill you, awake or asleep…you wouldn’t even think of letting that happen now, would you?” You smiled, your husky voice playing into Mizu’s uncertain mind as she could feel your warm breath fanning against her cool skin.

“Besides, what would I gain from that?” She was not going to answer that.

Seeing her absolutely unpleasant expression, a sudden laughter bubbled up from your chest, breaking the boiling tension at last and leaving Mizu completely bewildered.

“Pfft. Jeez, I’m just kidding. You couldn’t possibly have thought that I was being serious?” You snickered as Mizu’s grasp on your wrist loosened, her cold gaze returning to you.

”Hm. I barely laughed.” The woman answered indifferently.

“Well, yeah. I can see that.” You rolled your eyes, freeing yourself from her grasp as you covered your wet body with your haori again, finally showing some decency.

You took the rest of your clothes, Mizu handing you your katana with a puzzled look in her eyes.

Taking it, you finally walked away with a quiet ‘thank you’, shortly stopping in your tracks once more as you spared her one last glance over your shoulder.

”I just hope that whatever it is that this mixed woman is doing today…will leave her satisfied in the end.”

Not only satisfied but happy.

That’s what you truly wished for whoever that woman may have been.

Mizu didn’t feel the need to answer any of that. You had spoken enough nonsense to her today and she just wished to be left alone right now.

“Oh, and don’t worry. Your secret is safe with me.”

And after chirping her a quiet ‘good night’, you finally left, leaving her by herself to recollect her numerous thoughts you had so aptly disheveled.

‘Defeat is a cute look on her face…’

a/n: uhhhh idk how to feel about the way i wrote the whole ‘mizu is actually a woman??’ scene. i was very unsure while writing it too but I hope you guys didn’t find it too bad. I just didn’t want the reader to make such a big fuss out of it but rather be more subtle about it.

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wings-of-ink · 3 months ago

Note

what exactly is a magic hunter?

Ooh, this is a good question.

So "magic hunter" is a catch-all term that people in this world use. It's a pretty cooked-down way to define anyone interested in magic, usually magic artifacts and devices (but also people), who makes it their job or hobby or whole identity.

You've got bandits, like the ones you may have run across in Chapter 5, that seek them for fame and profit. They were drawn by the landslide in chapter 4 because it's possible that something secret was uncovered during it (artifacts are found in caves and such at times).

You've got scholars who are super curious, trying to solve mysteries and riddles from the time of the gods and even before that (back to "the world that came before"). They're unusually truth-seekers as well - wanting to see if what they read in history is accurate.

There are religious people both from benign or dangerous cults that covet them. Their reasoning can vary from desiring power (ways to elevate their god or some such) or even just preserving tokens of the gods. They tend to credit all magic to gods, and to some magic alone is worthy of being worshipped.

And you could even classify certain merchants (*cough*). Some people simply like to buy and sell magical curios or use them because they like them - maybe similar to a toy collector.

In short - anyone who seeks magic because of a variety of motivations can classify as a "magic hunter." They tend to get a bad reputation in general because of the actions of ones like bandits and zealots. People roll their eyes and get a little standoffish about them.

#god cursed if #asks #gc if world

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lucid-loves · 1 year ago

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Taste Like Venom ~ Simon "Ghost" Riley Part 4

Pairing: Ghost x assassin!reader (fem!reader, no use of y/n, callsign “Hex”)

Word Count: 3.6k

CW: angst, violence, blood, strong language, scars, enemies to lovers trope, slow burn, fluff, clear attraction and sexual tension, smut later on, reader POV and ghost POV, minors dni, Soap lives in this AU

Let me know if I missed any CWs.

Story Synopsis: After Makarov gets away once again, Laswell decides to force a favor from you, the world’s greatest assassin and best-kept secret. You are now expected to help the 141 with taking down Makarov in addition to playing nice with them. It’s hard to play nice when you have always worked alone. It doesn’t help that one of the team members, Ghost, gets curious about you in each interaction.

Chapter Synopsis: While you are alone in your own hotel room, the men talk about you over Italian cuisine. This includes speculation on Ghost’s feelings for you. Meanwhile, you are already gearing up for infiltration to tap the target building. Ghost decides that he wants a front-row seat to your show.

A/N: I am adding a taglist from now on for those who want to be a part of one. I made a post asking people to like it if they wanted to be part of it. If you would like to comment that you want to be in a taglist, you can do so on this post~

Taglist: @eatingtheworldsoffanfiction @dory-98 @cum-tea-and-towels @completelymarveltrash

Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3 ~ Part 4 ~ Part 5 ~ Part 6 ~ Part 7 ~ Part 8 ~ Part 9 ~ Part 10

Good God, authentic pizza was absolutely amazing. The standard for pasta was incredible as well. It beat the standard cafeteria food back on base by a landslide. The 141 grimaced as they thought about someday having to return to the food back home. Even the food they’ve eaten out of your fridge has been refreshing to their taste buds. Soap was the most vocal about his dread of the mass-cook cafeteria food as he devoured another slice of heaven. “Christ, going back to bland spinach and soggy rice is going to be fuckin’ painful!”

“Remember when they tried to do a taco night. Fucking hell, the lettuce was dripping fat like a sponge.” Gaz added as he took a swig of whiskey. It wasn’t the Italian choice of liquor to pair with food, but it was the 141’s choice. Not Ghost’s though. He missed his Kentucky bourbon.

“Last Thanksgiving was the most painful for me. Turkey was drier than my fuckin’ belt.” Soap chuckled, trying not to drip sauce onto the bed with how his whole body laughed with him. They were eating in one of the double queen hotel rooms, away from the public eye. When they were all together in a group, they often garnered attention. Such was the price for being such large, capable men.

“Anyone reckon that Hex is up yet? Food is gonna get cold.” Price inquired. They had saved some food for you. A plate full of different things since no one knew what you liked. Even Kate didn’t know when they called to ask her. Still, they tried their best anyway. And their best was getting cold on a ceramic plate.

Soap shook his head in refusal. “I’m not gonna knock on her door. The lass scares the shite out of me.”

Gaz laughed out loud. “Soap? Afraid? Never thought I’d live to see the day.”

“Hey, you weren’t the one that nearly lost an ear! With fuckin’ car keys of all things.” He defended, taking a long swig of his own drink. He clearly wasn’t going to forgive you for that any time soon. It made him annoyed when he thought about the fact that you probably didn’t care.

Price shrugged and poured himself another drink. “You were kinda asking for it, Johnny. I think I would’ve nearly killed you too if I’m being honest.”

“Well, Lt. made the joke first and he didn't nearly get stabbed.” He continued to argue, looking to Simon for an answer on how it was different when he cracked the joke. Ghost just stared with indifference, sitting in the corner with his mask halfway up. Even if he was with the people he trusted with his identity, he just felt more comfortable hiding his face while he ate.

The room went quiet for a moment as the men thought about it. Out of all of them, Ghost seemed to be the one that was able to get the closest to you. You still pushed him away by miles, but it was definitely closer than they were getting. Kyle took another slice of pizza, the fresh basil so vibrantly green that it looked like it was glowing. “How do you feel so comfortable pushing her boundaries, Lieutenant? One attempt at our lives is enough for us to back off. Yet, you seem to keep going back for more.”

The men waited for an answer, an idea crawling into each of their heads. Price had already picked up on it by now. He noticed as soon as Ghost lifted you in his arms. Gaz vocalizing his observation out loud just now triggered Soap to realize it too. A slow, knowing smirk crept along Soap’s lips. Simon scowled at the insinuation, reading all of their minds. “All of you can bury your ideas six feet under. I’m just trying to get her to trust us. The mission will go a lot smoother if she does. The sooner we do that, the sooner we can go home.”

All of them returned to enjoying their meals, unconvinced by Ghost’s protest. Was Simon attracted to you? Absolutely. Did he like you? Well, he certainly didn’t hate you. The biggest problem for him was that you were dangerous. Not just from an ability standpoint, but from an emotional standpoint. While he did want to get close to you, he still wanted to keep you just out of arm’s reach emotionally because he knew that you would burn him. Poison him with that venom of yours. He knew if he really did fall for you, he would never stop falling.

For the sake of the mission and his own preservation, he convinced himself that you were only a temporary attraction. A beautiful woman with incredible power that will return to the unknown as soon as this is all over. His teammates knew better, though. In all their time of knowing Simon, he has never shown interest in women. Always too busy. Always too focused on work. Not even making time for hook-ups. When you came into the picture, you got his attention in a way they have never seen before. That meant a lot to them.

“Regardless, you have the honor of delivering our assassin her dinner, Lieutenant.” Price smirked, abusing his power as Captain to avoid feeding the feral woman next door. Ghost clenched his jaw, cursing out John in his mind as he got up.

The men continued their lighthearted conversation as Simon walked out, plate of food in hand. Taking a deep breath, he walked to your door and knocked. When there was no answer, he thought that perhaps you were still asleep. So, he took out his spare keycard to the room and welcomed himself in.

The room was dim, large shadows casing over the beige walls. A few laptops were running on the desks, already hacked into the security cameras of the target building. You’ve actually been up for a while and have been busy getting things ready for your infiltration. It was alarming when you woke up in your hotel room instead of the car at first. However, it didn’t take you long to figure out that someone must’ve carried you. You were pretty sure who it was, but you didn’t dwell on it. There was work to be done and you had wasted too much time with sleep.

Kate helped you get into their systems. From there, a layout of the building was mapped out along with the IDs of everyone working for Makarov. You have watched enough security footage to take note of the guard routes. All that needed to be done was planting the taps to allow you to listen in on everything. Nothing was going to be unheard. Not even the sound of a guard taking a bathroom break.

Simon watched you fasten a black belt tight around your hips that carried a collection of small throwing knives. You wore new pants, a long sleeve turtleneck with a hood, and boots. All tight. All black. His hands ached to reach out in order to trace your prominent curves. He wanted to feel the thin fabric of your shirt, the heat of your skin exuding through it.

Instead of that, he placed the food down on top of your dresser, resisting the temptation. “Not going to eat first?”

You didn’t even glance his way, something he wanted to fix immediately. “No. It will weigh me down. I had room service bring up some fruit earlier. It will tie me over until I get back.”

“You’re leaving now?” He questioned, anger rising in his tone. You should have let them know that you were awake. That you were set up with the tech. That you wanted to proceed with the mission with a lookout. You shouldn’t have intended to do this alone.

But, you couldn’t help it. This is how you have always worked. Besides, to you, there was no reason to waste time with unnecessary things like knocking on their door to let them know you were ready. What were you? A fucking dog looking to be let out? “Now is better than later. Security usually lets their guard down after meals. It’s not too late in the night to expect intruders too. Now is the optimal time for me to place the taps.”

Simon scoffed at your unapologetic reasoning. “And you were just going to do this alone? Not even someone to watch the cameras out for you? What if you get compromised?”

Here we fucking go again. You grabbed the taps sitting on the desk, putting them in a small satchel securely tied to your belt. “Can you not criticize the way I do things every fucking conversation? I’m doing what I do best, Simon. I’ve never been compromised before. That’s a streak I intend to keep.”

He stepped towards you, his frame menacing as he towered over you. Hearing your name come from your lips was still something he wasn’t used to. Despite that, he wasn’t going to let you do this alone. This time, his tone was gentle yet resolute. “I’m letting the force know and I’m going to monitor the cameras.”

Looking up into his eyes, you could see that he wasn’t going to waver from his decision. There was no point fighting about this, you finally decided. Not even twelve hours ago was your last fight with him. A part of you was getting tired of it. Stepping back towards the hotel window to leave, you threw in the towel. It wasn’t going to stop you from getting the job done anyhow. “Do whatever you want. I don’t give a shit.”

“Hang on.” Ghost stopped you, his hand reaching out to grab your wrist. He pulled you towards him, using the advantage of his strength to have you close to him. Anticipating you to either reach for your knives or strike him with your other hand, he prepared to guard himself. However, you never used the same trick twice in a row.

Like a forceful tango, you stepped your full weight forward to catch him off balance. You then pushed further as he was forced to step back lest you headbutt him, your hand now having the room to land on his chest with a quick, sharp force. In Simon’s fall, you swiped his sheathed knife from his own belt. Before he knew it, he was laying on his back on your bed, you straddling him, his eyes locking with yours that blazed with victory.

Ghost’s strong hand was still wrapped around your wrist, but your free hand had his own knife pressed against his chest. Right over his heart that was thudding against his chest like it wanted to break out. The hot blood in his body was pumping into overdrive. Not in fear of death. No. In pure, passionate attraction. He swallowed hard, fighting back the urge to still pull you down and kiss you through his mask. Even if it would cause the knife to be plunged into his heart, the thought of being able to share a passionate kiss with you didn’t seem like a bad tradeoff.

Tendrils of your hair fell past your face, framing a beautiful jawline he wanted to trace with his lips. The image of you gasping in shock and pleasure as he squeezed your hips flashed in his mind for a second. It wouldn't have been hard to do. His other hand was still free but frozen as you pressed the tip of the blade into his chest. He also imagined the potential sweetness of your tongue, giving him a taste of dessert after dinner. He wanted to be the one to catch you by surprise and submit to his will. Only, you would love it and beg for more through feverish kisses and the grinding of your hips against his.

Christ, he was getting a boner.

He wasn’t the only one who was feeling it, though. The sound of your own heartbeat was flooding your ears. You couldn’t seem to pull away from his blue eyes that so heatedly begged for you to come closer. The heat already felt from your body pressing against his didn’t feel like enough. Especially when you began to feel his growing hardness pressing against you. That just made your own sex tingle with need.

You got off of him quickly, putting distance between the two of you. What the fuck were you doing?! What the hell was wrong with you?! You haven't been with anyone for so long, but it was no excuse to get so swept up like this. Not with someone like Ghost. Not with someone like Simon Riley. You needed to get a fucking grip. Get your head on straight. Damn it, you were better than this!

Slowly, he sat up and cleared his throat, trying to pretend that what just happened wasn’t the sexiest thing he’s ever been through. His knife was tossed onto the bed next to him, your movements quick as you rushed to get the fuck out of there.

However, when Simon called your name, you froze. He sounded a little breathless, his voice making you shiver. “Hex, wait.”

Simon stood from the bed to grab something from the desk. Cautiously, he walked towards you, now learning his lesson that it wasn’t a great idea to just grab you so suddenly for multiple reasons. At a slow pace, he opened his large palm to show you a small earpiece. Still being careful with his speed and touch, he lightly brushed your hair behind your ear and inserted the earpiece for you. You flinched as his fingers brushed against your jaw, butterflies erupting within you.

“You’ll be able to hear me through this. I won’t say anything unless I really have to. You’ll be able to talk to me through it too. Whatever you want, whatever you need, just say it.” Ghost promised.

You couldn’t bring yourself to say anything. You feared that using your voice would reveal just how flustered you were over what just transpired. Instead, you gave a simple nod and headed back to your window.

The nighttime breeze flooded in as soon as you opened the window, the chill seeping into your bones. Good. You needed to cool off. Without looking back, you slipped out into the night, leaving Simon behind to wonder if supposed enemies were supposed to be attracted to each other like this.

The shadows concealed you, the moonlight accentuating them on every surface they could touch. Quietly and quickly, you moved from shadow to shadow until you stumbled upon the targeted building. From the outside, it looked like a rundown, abandoned office building up for sale. The place was hidden away, tucked behind the forefront of what Italy wanted to offer instead. Beauty.

You watched armed men standing guard, looking out into the alleyways for enemies. Sticking to the shadows, you crept along the side of the building before spotting an open window just above you. Taking a deep breath to focus your mind, you sprung into action. With a few wall jumps, you were right in one of Makarov’s weapons depot.

From the laptops back at the hotel, Ghost carefully watched the footage, almost holding his breath as he searched for you. His team gathered into the room once he told them you had left already. They had assumed that all the time he spent missing with you was just him helping set up the tech. He didn’t correct them on this. Like you had said before, never underestimate the power of assumptions.

Relief washed over his shoulders as soon as he saw your figure invade the building. Just as fast as you had entered, you hid, dropping a tap that was modeled to look like a dead fly onto the dirty tile. The place was dusty, the smell of stagnant air filling your lungs. The men here didn’t care about the cleanliness of the place. Fortunately for the 141, that meant that they wouldn't have to worry about anyone cleaning up the “dead flies.”

All of the men watched the footage as you swiftly made your way from room to room dropping flies. Soap double checked to make sure that the enemies’ own footage was still scrubbed as you worked. Regardless, you moved so carefully that any video of you just looked like a weird, black glitch. You were in your zone. This is what you did for years. This is what you have secretly missed doing.

Every move you made was calculated, following a strict regime based on the men’s own schedule. As you dropped more and more taps, Price began to check if they worked on his end. Sure enough, they could hear everything.

Gaz noticed that Ghost’s body was rigid, his eyes refusing to leave the screens. He was keeping track of you like he would lose sight of you if he blinked. Wanting to ease his worries, he began to prepare some tea using the hotel’s electric kettle. Kyle was always one to look out for his friends like this.

A hot cup of black tea was placed in front of Ghost, the smell already releasing the tension in his muscles. Gaz pat his stiff shoulder. “She’s gonna be alright, bruv.”

Ghost gave a silent nod, finally taking a moment to let his eyes wander off of the monitor to have a sip of tea. Now that he was more relaxed, he viewed your movements in a more admiring way. None of them could pull off how smoothly you moved. How easy you glided through like a gust of wind passing through. Even when you were close to an enemy, you kept your cool, refrained from killing, and moved on without detection.

You were a god damn modern-day ninja. A fine one at that.

In less than an hour, you had swept through the whole building without detection. Every tap was planted. Not once did you hear Simon in your ear either. You were glad. You felt like if you heard his voice through the earpiece it would break your flow. But, a part of you did yearn to hear his deep voice so close to you.

Getting out was the easiest part. Having no one seen you come in, you took the same route out. When you came back through the window, you were met with grateful smiles and words of praise that were foreign to your ears. Ghost wanted to be the first one to say something about your skills, but loud-mouth Sergeant Soap beat him to it. “Damn, Lass! I think you just set a record for 141!”

“That was quite impressive stuff there, Hex. It was like you were never there. Kate was right about you.” Price grinned as he thanked you in his own way.

Gaz hopped on the headphones to listen to the taps as soon as his Captain moved. “All of them are working just fine. I’ve only ever seen moves like that in movies and video games. Job well done!”

You were unsure of what to do with all of this attention, never having experienced it before. When you worked alone, there was no one to tell you that you did well when you got back. You didn’t know if all of this flattery made you feel good. In all honesty, the confusion you felt about it made you a little sick to your stomach.

Weaving past them all, you grabbed your cold plate of food that Simon brought to you earlier and left without a word through the door. After receiving some worried glances from his soldiers, Price provided some words of reassurance. “Don’t worry, men. Hex probably isn’t used to having people wait for her like this, let alone praise for good work. Give her time.”

As the team brought back some of the tech to monitor from their rooms, Ghost stepped out into the hallway to look for you. He initially thought that you would be in one of their rooms to use the microwave, but you were nowhere in sight. While he wanted to keep looking, a call by his Captain to help made him call it there for the night.

And so he spent the rest of the night bunking with Soap, listening in on private conversations and thinking about you. Meanwhile, you spent your night eating a cold dinner alone on the hotel rooftop. Overlooking the city, your own mind occasionally wandered against your will towards Ghost and how it would feel if his heat saved you from the autumn winds chilling your skin.

#simon ghost x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley fanfic #simon ghost riley #ghost x you #ghost x y/n #ghost x reader #ghost x female reader #ghost x f!reader #cod fanfic #simon riley fanfic #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #simon riley #ghost cod #simon riley smut #simon riley x y/n #simon riley x female reader #simon riley x f!reader

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vitaminseetarot · 1 year ago

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PAC Pick a Ride: Your Next Big Adventure 🌌🌠🌃

Thank you for voting in my latest poll! I'm surprised and glad to see that Next Big Adventure won by a landslide! Seeing as we have the New Moon in Sagittarius on the 12th, it makes sense that we are collectively interested in seeing what the next chapter has in store. Please note that some of these other topics mentioned in my polls may appear in future pick a card readings, so stay tuned.

So without further ado, let's get into our piles! Pretend as though you are a Knight from your favorite tarot deck about to embark on your next journey. Please choose your mode of transportation:

1 - Plane 2 - Ship 3 - Motorbike 4 - Train

Pile 1 - Plane

Cards: Re-Evaluate, Pencil Sketch, The Pilgrim, Ceres - Nurture, Patience, 26. Protection - Finding What's Important; I Magician, 10 of Pentacles, 4 of Pentacles, XIX The Sun Channeled Locations: Canada, Singapore, Morocco, Ukraine, Australia, Philippines, UK, New Zealand, NYC, South Korea

Hi pile 1, you've chosen to travel by air, bypassing all the long troublesome routes. After all, the sky's the limit! Isn't it nice to measure your distance by how the crow flies sometimes? You're ready to catapult yourself into the next big adventure; I can tell there's a lot of excitement to see what's ahead here. You'd rather get to the next phase of your life instantly yet with ease. This is likely the pile with big career goals, especially if moving or actual traveling will be in the big picture. Maybe you're dreaming of traveling by plane as part of your future dream job? You don't just want to get there, as great as that is--it has to be done with intention.

You're in the process of drawing out what your next life would look like. The future seems full of creative possibilities, but with Pencil Sketch next to Re-evaluate, you're being asked to pay attention to the details. How do you want things to go one month from now, and one year from now? As great as it would be to have an entire decade mapped out, it's unrealistic, but it doesn't mean you can't draft some concepts. You should have something in mind, though, instead of setting out with a knapsack and praying for the best. If your next career or long term project could be anything you wanted, are you going to hop into something for 10 years that doesn't end up panning out in your favor, or would you rather delicately test something for a year before diving in? Moving forward can be exciting, but if you're going by plane, you will need some coordinates.

I think your reading is super straightforward, pile 1. You've got a lucky edge going for you with the tarot cards here. Whatever kind of career goal you have in mind, you may have a chance to "make it big" at some point. That won't come without a lot of foresight and careful investment, however. Don't try to rush into any big decisions right off the bat. I occasionally see the Magician card as the one signifying "read between the lines". If any contracts get involved, be very careful and read thoroughly. Don't be afraid to ask questions or seek clarification. The ones giving you the contact would rather see you jump in it blind, but you've got the crafty Magician energy to help you out during this retrograde period.

As eager as you are to begin your next journey, you're being asked to consider what you want to grow over the long term. This reading wants to shift the focus away from the end goal, even if there's a message here about acting with intention. Setting intention doesn't mean straying away from the present moment to only consider what happens in the end. Part of paying attention to detail means being aware and present in what's happening around you. The present moment is a crucial aspect of your growth period, and it wants you to gently guard after and care for your goal as though it were a plant. You know the fruit of the plant will be ready to eat when it's there and fully ripened, but in the meantime you can enjoy its flowers and fresh budding leaves.

Enjoy the gentle growth process, because once you do start to take off, you may be shocked by how high you'll find yourself in mere seconds. The initial lift of the plane as it begins to run with the sky can give you a wonky feeling like your whole world is shifting and moving with you. Your sense of time can change, requiring adjustment. If you're unprepared, the change could feel overwhelming. Make sure that by the time you're ready for that big takeoff in your work or projects, you will have built up a solid foundation to ground you once you're ready to come back down to earth. That's how you'll build lasting success in your life's next adventure. Stay optimistic, because that positive shift could come sooner than you think!

Pile 2 - Ship

Cards: Limitless, Calla, The Alchemist, 10. Capricorn - Achieve, Express Love, 11. Invention - Burning with Passion; X Wheel of Fortune, 4 of Wands, VII Chariot, 10 of Swords Channeled Locations: India, Greece, Ethiopia, Thailand, Spain, Iceland, Turkey, Croatia, South Africa

The seas are calling you, pile 2, calmly asking you to take only what's truly needed with you. The water's may be choppy, but out in the expansive blue seas, you can feel connected to the coasts of the entire world. With a firm grasp of the ship's wheel, you designate yourself captain as you adjust your sails and set your sights for the hidden treasure that lies ahead--or perhaps beneath your anchor. You're entering your next big adventure lit up with grand ideas for what to do all laid out on your map. Over the vast horizon, anything could happen, and you could find yourself shaking hands with anybody new. This pile may be seeking proposals or offers of some kind, ones that will let you dream bigger than you have before. This pile likely has a good idea of where to go next, or at least some interesting things written down.

These cards ask you to make peace with some aspect of your past. It could be that whatever you had planned before didn't entirely work out in your favor. As much as the online community talks about how rejection is divine protection, sometimes having plans fall apart is not going to feel good, even when you're just glad it's over with. The worst thing can be the feeling of not knowing what to expect after a fall. But your next chapter is showing a lot of promise in things to come, so don't let your past be the omen of your future. The tides are turning right now, and if you can focus on what you'd like to accomplish next, you'll be able to shift those tides in your favor. The first step is to see that you've survived the bad times, and that in itself makes you a victor. With that, you can move ahead with more confidence than before.

That's the thing about Capricorn energy: it thrives in conditions that others would consider too harsh or demanding. It's the drive to take the roughest materials and make diamonds from them. Once you can decide to make peace with what you've gone through, you can take the nuggets of wisdom you've garnered to make a beautiful new path for yourself. You dissolve the worst of your experiences and bring them together to make it better, as the Alchemist card suggests. The difficult times and failed attempts were not for waste; you've gained a lot of valuable growth that will provide a smoother current toward success in your next endeavor. This could be the pile that wants to start a business. Please know that simply starting a business, or even taking the first steps to plan one, takes a lot of guts already. If you've managed to go that far, congratulations! It takes a lot of hard work for a new business to be survive the long haul. So celebrate your milestones, no matter how small they seem.

Part of what makes this next chapter so fortuitous for you is how the energy is transiting through. You could be hit with a wave of inspiration from out of nowhere. If you've been stuck in one place without any wind to carry you through the fog, be prepared for that big splash! All hiccups set aside, you're still brimming with a lot of zeal for your next idea. You may even receive a cascade of insight, so be sure to write these things down as they come. You never know if something silly and small could end up helping you out later on. Your next big adventure is going to put the spark back in you, with a feeling of having a second chance at life, as Calla lilies represent rebirth. Don't be afraid to get excited over what's to come, pile 2. Your faith that things will work out for the better is contagious, as is your gratitude for the accomplishments you've made so far.

Pile 3 - Motorbike

Cards: Breathe, Snowboard, The Heir (Rx), 5. Leo - Shine, Balance, 21. Resilience - Finding Your Limits; 6 of Cups, Queen of Cups, Page of Wands, XIII Death Channeled Locations: Mexico, Italy, Midwest US, France, Norway, Egypt, Chile, Brazil

Your pile is like the fiery passion of the wands suit. Independent and bold, you chose to take open road for your next adventure, blazing a new path in front of your very eyes. You have an eagerness to take the world by storm, going wherever your first impulse wishes to carry you. This pile has a lot of drive to move forward to the next chapter with as much speed as possible, optimistic to find that next golden opportunity. And you're not afraid of a little showboating along the way. You even have the Snowboard palette card, which is a sport involving nothing but speeding down slopes and catching incredible air. This pile is the most excited for their next adventure.

Except actually, pile 3, you're being asked to slow down a little bit. And I get it! I get that this message can be so frustrating when you see what looks to be an endless highway yet the speed limit says 55. That might be a good pace for many folks, but for this pile it's not nearly enough! The thing to keep in mind is that this process of moderating your pace is for your overall benefit. See, you have the only reversed archetype card in all the piles. The card speaks of untapped potential, which is still there. It's simply saying that whatever you're seeking to do next, you're not totally ready because there is too much you're still carrying with you. To go with the motorbike analogy again, any leftover baggage from your past is going to weigh you down so it's in your benefit to review what you have before you can move forward. The more you let it go, the faster you'll be able to pick up the pace.

You have a lot to be proud of with how far you've come already. This pile likely thrives on challenges and sees overcoming them as a big part of spiritual development. Which can be true in many cases, and you demonstrate clearly that you're not afraid of what's to come next. It may come as a shock to you that your next chapter might be a little more quiet than expected. This is likely because, if you've gone through a lot of growth in your last chapter, it makes sense to have some downtime to balance things out. The Queen of Cups can be introverted energy, but she knows how to use her alone time to replenish her soul with art and meditation. You may have more time to spend by yourself steeped in creative drive rather than trying to accomplish too many things in the outer world.

This is one of the more spiritually oriented piles; over this next big phase in your life, your creative skills may flourish and evolve to another level. Maybe for a while you've been inclined towards artistic pursuits, but feel a desire to expand upon what you're already doing. With this energy, you're in alignment to have more time and energy to devote towards passions like painting, sports, or music. In this way, you can take that immense enthusiastic drive from the Page of Wands and channel it into something constructive or purposeful, even if you don't intend to monetize it.

Your next big adventure is tackling the speed limits that exist within you: the self imposed beliefs that tell you how fast you can go or where you're allowed to proceed. Thing is, in your inner world, you have a lot more freedom than you would on any highway. You can choose for yourself how you wish to manifest your passions into the world, and you can decide how much or how little passion you put into your work. Things like imposter syndrome can be their own mountains to climb, and this time around you're more geared up than ever to take it on. Once the spiritual mountains have been overcome, you'll be able to top anything the next chapter in life brings you.

Pile 4 - Train

Cards: Nucleus, Billiard Green, The Gambler, 44. Sixth House - Sustainability, Trust, 1. Vision - Contemplating the Future; XVIII The Moon, 10 of Wands, 3 Cups, XV The Devil Channeled Locations: West US, Sweden, Japan, Czech Republic, Netherlands, Slovenia, China, Germany, Switzerland

You've picked the solid, earthy pile of moving forward to your next adventure by train. Locomotion is slow but it's steady and reliable with time. Fully embodying the principles of inertia, once it moves it keeps moving, but it takes a lot of initial effort to get things going. Something you've worked on is slow going, but you're close or nearing the finish line. Once this is accomplished, things will move much more smoothly for you without so much push. Your next chapter will be steady, but it will be easier than before because it's already in motion.

I find this pile intriguing, y'all. You have Gambler above the Billiard card, and the Devil card shows a casino as well. It's almost bringing to mind old train heist movies. There's action, adventure, mystery, and a lot of fun here in this pile. Your next big adventure could involve having more chances to go out and have fun with friends. You could meet new friends around this time who will have a lot of extra pep in their step. They'll get you out of your shell if you've been in one for a while. Alternatively, if you see yourself as a party loving daredevil already, this new friendship may slow you down and protect you a little, in a good sense. They'll either be the head to your heart, or the heart to your head.

This pile is definitely more inclined to go with the flow in the next chapter. I almost typed 'glow' on accident, so perhaps you'll also experience basking in a 'glow' of some kind. You could be overcoming a huge obstacle at this time and look forward to more unstructured down time. You're encouraged to take time to enjoy yourself before moving to the next phase, but to also balance it out by taking moments to see where you'd rather go next. It's easy, after a huge achievement, to lose pace once the "now what?" sign is reached on your path. Go-with-the-flow doesn't necessarily mean 'fuck around and see what happens', lol. Try to find a middle ground here between playing and planning.

Your work-life balance will likely have some kind of pressure valve released like steam. You've had to really push for what you wanted this year. When opportunities looked scant, you had to tap in to your own power and immense resources to pull through. You've done so in flying colors. So your desire for freedom and thrills after a hard chapter is totally understandable. If you're not finished with something, there's almost a temptation here to run from it now and deal with it later. This isn't recommended; push through to the end because soon you will find yourself on the other side basking in the glow, and relaxing will be so much easier once you're fully done.

There's also advice to not get too carried away with material desires here. Your next chapter may have your finances fluctuating up and down, so try to stay steady with investments. If a windfall comes in, don't spend it all in a day. The Trust card here is talking about how you trust yourself with your resources and energy. When you're able to carry a greater amount with more responsibility, more will be added to you in due time. You're being asked to make small and consistent investments with wherever you're putting your value and resources into. Nothing wrong with wanting to splurge on something nice of course, especially if you've been working hard and you want to reward yourself. This is more to do with long term investments over the next few years.

This reading has not been evaluated by the FDA to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any disease or infection. Please ask your physician before going online.

2023, @VitaminseeTarot ™

Decks Used: Tarotwave, Starcodes Astro Oracle, Citadel Oracle, StarDragons, Opal Oracle, Starlight Messages, Color Palette cards

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thepersistenceandthevision · 6 days ago

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I loved the fanfic Beasts by whinlatter so much, I made an 8-tracks style playlist about it.

What makes it an 8-tracks style playlist? Because it has 16 songs – 8 tracks for Side A and 8 tracks for Side B. No more. No less.

There were two songs that initially inspired this playlist, and it would have been easy to make a 5 or 6 song long playlist. Or I could have every song that had a lyric that fit, and would have made a 20-30 song playlist. But 16 songs exactly? That was the challenge… and the fun. I wanted to make sure every song fit lyrically with the story and musically with each other. Sometimes I chose covers rather than the original artist, not because I liked the song better, but because it fit with the other music. It got me to dig through old songs I half remembered and discover new artists I'd never heard before.

But I’m talking too much. See below for each song and why I thought it fit. Whinlatter has done beautiful work writing a story that is melancholy and hopeful, dark and funny, about characters that are broken and hurting each other and loving and strong all at the same time. I looked for songs that carried the same spirit.

“Side A” is Ginny trying, and somewhat idealizing her relationship with Harry, and everything up to New Years and their fight. “Side B” is the fight and fear and hurting and growing and trying.

(The quotes don’t always line up in that order because sometimes characters have beautifully concise thoughts in later chapters about their earlier actions.)

Side A

i, Carrion (Icarian) // Hozier

Notes: This is one of the two songs that made me want to make a playlist. When I first heard this song, I took all the references to flying and falling very literally and thought of Ginny struggling with Quidditch after the war. However, after many re-listens and reading the lyrics more closely, I see this song as Harry’s and his unconscious dependence on Ginny being “light” for him, and so we start the playlist with his POV because we enter fanfics in general from the POV of the source material.

Lyric: Once I had wondered what was holdin' up the ground / But I can see that all along, love, it was you all the way down

and

Lyric: If I should fall on that day / I only pray / don’t fall away from me

2. Dead Girl Walking // Jensen McRae

Quote: ‘And your name?’

She hesitates, a fraction too long to lie. ‘Ginny,’ she says stiffly. ‘Ginny Weasley.’

[…]

‘But [..] she – she died, didn’t she?’ he asks anxiously, turning to Tuft for clarification. ‘In the Chamber of Secrets debacle? In 1993?’

-Beasts, Chapter 12: scarecrow by whinlatter

and

Sometimes I worry all I have to show for seven years of school are a lot of nightmares and bad memories. I don’t want to feel like that. I think I keep coming back because I think I can make it different, this time.

-Beasts, Chapter 12: scarecrow by whinlatter

Lyric: Aches in my body like I stayed up boxing / I’m a dead girl walking / but I’ve walked this far.

Notes: Jensen McRae is a really amazing up-and-coming singer. I love this song in particular but there are many others you should check out and enjoy!

3. Landslide // Dagny

Lyric: Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love? / Can the child within my heart rise above? / Can I sail through the changin' ocean tides? / Can I handle the seasons of my life?

Notes: A classic song about the struggles of growing up and life not being what you planned. I knew I wanted this song on the playlist for a while and honestly the hardest part was figuring out if I wanted the original or a cover, and if so, which cover! Ultimately, I went with Dagny because I thought her sound best fit with the rest of the playlist.

4. Brooklyn // Emily James

Quote: ‘Yeah. Sometimes. I mean – I know we joke in letters, and stuff. But it’s just – if I’m having a bad day, or it’s all a bit – much.’ His face twitches slightly. ‘I sometimes just go to a shop and buy something. That we could have in our house one day. I don’t know. It’s just nice. To buy us some egg-cups, or whatever.’

Beasts, Chapter 11: hatched by whinlatter

Lyric: When I'm alone, I hold you like a locket / Next to my heart where you'll never get lost as / We run through moments we don't know yet

and

Quote: It’s stupid how happy it makes her, seeing him all cocky, flirting with her in the old kitchen, letting him snog her up against the rough stone walls and hoist her up on the counter top.

Beasts, Chapter 9: wintering by whinlatter

Lyric: I wanna wake up in my sheets and your T-shirt

Notes: Just pretend the singer is daydreaming about meeting up with her boyfriend in London instead of in Brooklyn.

5. Hope – Acoustic // Tom Rosenthal, Lizzy McAlpine

Lyric: Can you hold me from afar? / Pretend that you are closer / Keep all our memories in the jar / And place it right beside you

and

Lyric: You are in my heart when it has hope

6. Let Light Be Light // Lizzy McAlpine

Notes: Lizzy McAlpine might win the award for the most songs that are almost perfect for this playlist, but then had one or two lines that really changed the tone. I switched many of her songs in and out but ultimately picked “Let Light Be Light” in honor of how hard Ginny was trying to be light over Christmas.

Quote: ‘We’ve been writing a lot. Every day, pretty much. I’ve never – with anyone – I dunno. It meant a lot to me, hearing from you. But it’s weird to think you didn’t write down anything that was actually happening to you. That you were leaving stuff out, I mean. You must have been scared. But you never said.’

She looks past him, to the crack in the door to Regulus’ room, to floorboards covered in ink. Imagines childish handwritten words on a page, the rattle of the Boggart cupboard. To the Dark Lord. Dear Tom.

‘I just find it hard,’ she says, finally. ‘To say this stuff. To write it down. How I’m feeling, what I’m scared about. Especially to someone else. It’s been a long time since I’ve done that. It went so wrong, before.’

Beasts, Chapter 11: hatched by whinlatter

Lyric: I don't like getting attached / It makes me feel like I've done something bad / 'Cause I'm not dependent and I know that / So why am I scared I'm reliving / That part of my past?

7. Speak // Ben Abraham

Notes: Another song for Harry – I think this song is a great fit for the room at the top of the house by whinlatter, which serves as a little “missing moment” from Beasts.

Quote: he loves her letters. no-one’s written to him since 1996, not since sirius. and now the funniest loveliest most magical girl in the world writes him five times a week. they sail through his window, like little guiding balls of light from forever ago, pure illumination. they're the best bits of his week, her letters, paper proof of her love.

she's lying to him, though. she keeps saying she's fine. he knows that's not true.

the room at the top of the house by whinlatter

Lyric: You're hiding like a memory / Teasing like a girl I used to know

and

Quote: all he wants to say is: gin, stop laughing a sec. stop lying. he wants to take the box of photos off her and put it on the side and hold her hands and say come on, stop this, tell me. he imagines crouching before her, asking: what's going on? what's up with you? and what did you mean, when you said it’d be ok, if i left and did christmas without you? did you think that’s what i want? paranoid thoughts: are you trying to hurt me? why would you not tell me the truth?

the room at the top of the house by whinlatter

Lyric: I panic as you try to disappear / I reach out with my fingers / And try to pull the letters back in line / But your words spin out of order / And the pounding in my chest is out of time / And I just want to speak

8. The Archer – Live from Paris // Taylor Swift

Notes: Forgive me, I still remember listening to Taylor Swifts first album in middle school and must include her in almost all my playlists. I think this song fits ridiculously well, though. Look at all the parallels!

Quote: You ask Ginny Weasley if she thought of herself as a child and see what she says. By her own description, she was a combatant. She was a soldier. She had her own war to fight.

Beasts, Chapter 14: the vulture by whinlatter

Lyric: I’m ready for Combat // I say I don’t want this, but what if I do?

and

Quote: …she can’t bring herself to pick up the quill and tell him. It’s so lonely up here. I’m so scared about this inquiry. I’m so scared I’ll let everyone down. I’m so scared you’re going to change your mind.

Beasts, Chapter 12: scarecrow by whinlatter

Lyric: I've got a hundred thrown-out speeches I almost said to you

and

Quote: She’s sat up in her bunk, cross-legged in her old Quidditch jumper, eyes scratching from lack of sleep. Under her bare legs, the sheets are still slick from the sweat she woke up in, retching and shuddering, kicking furiously against the bedclothes. Sleep: always the first thing to go, the first comfort to leave her when storms are brewing.

Beasts, Chapter 3: nocturnal by whinlatter

Lyric: I wake in the night, I pace like a ghost / The room is on fire, invisible smoke

and

Quote: ‘You think they tortured you so badly you think they might have broken something in your brain. ’

‘That makes it sound loads worse than it is. I don’t think that is what it is – ’

‘Like Neville’s parents.’

Beasts, Chapter 11: reared by whinlatter

Lyric: All the king's horses, all the king's men / Couldn't put me together again

Side B

9. Sick of Losing Soulmates // Dodie

Quote: ‘I wasn’t lying. It wasn’t like that, it’s not like I was trying to lie to you, to get some kick out of it – ’

‘No. You just didn’t tell me anything at all. Loads better.’

Beasts, Chapter 11: hatched by whinlatter

Lyric: Brave face, talk so lightly, hide the truth

and

Quote: ‘All those endless letters to you, how were you ever going to feel like you could be honest with him? Having all that to deal with.’ Hermione looks exasperated. Crookshanks flexes his claws, as if to back her up. ‘You know, sometimes I think he forgets it’s not your job to drop everything and look after him.’

Beasts, Chapter 12: scarecrow by whinlatter

Lyric: Watch how a cold broken teen will desperately lean / On a superglued human of proof

Basically, Harry and Ginny are both - Lyric: I can finally see / you’re as fucked up as me / so how do we win?

10. Talking to Myself // Gatlin

Quote: […]there’s no letter. She’s not heard from him in ten days.

Beasts, Chapter 12: scarecrow by whinlatter

Lyric: I got used to your voice / Like it was my own / Now there's kind of a void / I'm totally fine though

11. Fear of Water // Noah Kahan

Quote: She sits down on the bed, the weight of it all hitting her all at once. Puts her head in her hands, starts to cry.

[…]

‘The inquiry. The stupid inquiry. They’re going to do it in March. It’s - it's not a big deal, I don’t know why it’s all made me feel like this – sorry, I need to get some tissues – ’

Beasts, Chapter 12: scarecrow by whinlatter

Lyric: These tears aren't some sweet response to tragedy / Today I can't say why they fall / Honey, it's all chemical

12. Summer’s End – Spotify Singles // Phoebe Bridgers, Maria Taylor

Quote: ‘How was your Christmas, Ginny?’

Her head’s pounding. Her ankles keep buckling in these stupid boots. ‘It was shit,’ she shouts back, over the the thudding of the music, the laughter and shouting, far-off smashing of glass. ‘How was yours?’

Beasts, Chapter 9: wintering by whinlatter

Lyric: Well I can see that you can't win for trying / And New Year's Eve is bound to leave you crying

and

Quote: There’s [a photograph] of her, one she hasn’t seen before – […] Strange, to see her own eyes soften, the scowl fall away, as she looks at the boy behind the camera, watching a feeling she has only ever felt and never seen.

Beasts, Chapter 8: bones by whinlatter

Lyric: The moon and stars hang out in bars just talking / I still love that picture of us walking

Note: The voicemail in the beginning is like a little bonus for Ginny’s forgotten birthday in Chapter 10.

Additionally, I think the resounding chorus of "come on home" can be read in multiple ways, Harry wanting Ginny to live with him, Ginny wanting her mother to pull through grief, and even Ginny talking to herself, to "come home" to her own body, which is why it's on Side B, not Side A.

13. Shine – Acoustic Version // Anna Nalick

Quote: Ginny –The inquiry is DEFINITELY happening. […] You’ll be offered anonymity for any testimony you give because you were underage. Don’t take it. The others won’t testify publicly if you don’t, you’re the one who can tell them what really happened and to properly make them fucking listen. The time for sitting on the fence is over. I want us to tell the world exactly what happened, I want to bring them down, I want them to pay for what they’ve done to us. So can you start replying to our letters please??? – Michael

Beasts, Chapter 12: scarecrow by whinlatter

Lyric: Isn’t it time you got over how fragile you are?

Note: Anna Nalick’s song is much more supportively encouraging than Michael Corner’s letter, but, alas, Ginny does not get perfect mentors, just friends and allies trying to muddle through as best they can.

14. Better Days // Menna

Lyric: When I break in the same place /And I′ve made the same mistakes / Wonder if I'll ever change / Or my heart′s just meant to ache

and

Lyric: I know there'll be better days / Even when I don't know how

Notes: I really wanted an anthem that wasn’t a love song on this playlist, because while her romance with Harry is important in Beasts (because, after all, romance is important in real life) it’s not the whole plot. Ginny gets to be a full person with dynamic friendships and allies and goals, and she ultimately decides to keep trying for the future in every sense – trying with school, trying with quidditch, trying with Harry, and trying with the inquiry – even when she’s not sure how any of it will turn out okay in the end.

Also, Menna is a fantastic artist! She’s got a number of really great songs – I especially recommend Sex in Public, Dynamite, and Didn’t Peak in High School.

15. I’m A Man // Nathan Evans, Foy Vance

Notes: This was the first song that made me want to make a Beasts playlist. In a reversal from “i, carrion”, I originally thought of this as a Harry song, but ultimately realized that it’s Ginny all the way. Yes, the lyrics are extremely male-gendered. But it’s Ginny’s song.

Quotes: The entire letter Ginny sends to Harry in Chapter 12 [feels too long to quote]

and

She reads through both copies of her statement again - one for the court, one for Harry.

Beasts, Chapter 14: the vulture by whinlatter

Lyrics: I'm a man, therefore I'm proud / And I hide away all my fears and doubts / And I hope that you'll never find me out

and

I've been struggling, I've been hurt / Guess that's what I thought I deserved / I got drunk to try and pretend I didn't care / And now I'm calling you for a truce / Finally ready to tell the truth / I can face it as long as I am here with you

16. Orpheus // Sara Bareilles

Quote: [….] ‘Is all that true?’

She swallows, mouth like sandpaper, finds she can’t speak.

‘Ginny, I’m serious, what was he talking about?’

[…]

She looks over at Harry. His head is in his hands.

Beasts, Chapter 14: the vulture by whinlatter

Lyric: You miss the world / The one you knew / The one where everything made sense / Because you didn't know the truth

and

Don't stop / Trying to find me here amidst the chaos / Though I know it's blinding / There's a way out / Say out loud / We will not give up on love now

Notes: Whinlatter’s story is still ongoing, so this last song is where I think the story is heading. I wanted to end on a song of hard-won hope, of not everything being okay but knowing you’re going to work towards it.

~*~

Lastly, I just want to say that reading Whinlatter’s work has been an absolutely delight, and I’ve had so much fun putting together this playlist. I hope you get some enjoyment out of it, too.

#whinlatter #music #not sure how to tag this as it is for a fanfic and I don't want to clutter up main tags #Beasts

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pjsk-story-summaries · 3 months ago

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The Sounds of a Summer Festival! Event Story Summary

TL;DR: A few years ago, Akito and a close friend of his were playing in a soccer tournament, with Akito dubbed as the ace of the team. However, after their team lost, Akito soon quit soccer, becoming listless and without a goal to work toward. But, one day, Ena called Akito to a local summer festival going on at the time, where he saw a concert that lit up a love for music in him. With Ena's encouragement, Akito decided to start singing.

Now in the present, Akito and Toya meet the old friend again, this time asking them to perform at the same festival as a replacement. Although the two of them agree, they notice that since all the other groups are dancers, they think they should dance too, where something Len says gives them the idea to buy dance shoes. Meanwhile, Nightcord at 25:00 find a flyer advertising the festival, deciding to go as a group.

At the festival, before the concert, Akito loses his dance shoes and Mizuki loses a keychain they got to remember the day by. While Akito and Toya try to search for their shoes, Ena brings Mizuki along to search for the keychain, eventually finding it at the lost and found. However, while they're there, Ena also sees a box with dance shoes she recognizes are Akito's, so she calls him and brings them over to him just before his and Toya's performance.

After the concert, Kanade and Mafuyu leave, Mizuki and Ena meet up with Akito and Toya, and the group tags along with Airi and Shizuku, who were also at the festival, to enjoy the rest of the day together.

Fan translation (Jin) / Official English YouTube Upload Summary submitted by @thisaritree

Chapter 1: After a landslide win by his team, Akito and his friend Shota talk about Akito's skills in soccer and how the next match is up against a really good team. Akito is confident, even up to the day before the tournament, where Shota notices him still training when practice ended. Shota joins him in the training, sure to win their last match of the sixth grade. However, on the day of the tournament, Akito's team loses 5-1. Upon hearing about how much more dedicated the other team really is, Akito decides to quit soccer, leaving his friend behind.

Chapter 2: Now in the present, Shota meets up with Akito again after him and Toya won an event. Shota invites the two of them to perform at the Shibuya Summer Festival as a replacement. Akito and Toya notice most of the other performers are dancers, so they agree, but decide that they should try and dance too. When Shota leaves, Len, who was listening in on the conversation, asks to help out in practice, talking about his new dance shoes he just got, leading Akito and Toya to consider buying dance shoes too. Meanwhile, after Nightcord at 25:00's after-party, the group finds their usual routes to go home all blocked by construction, so they go through a park instead.

Chapter 3: While on their scenic route, Nightcord at 25:00 notice a flyer on a board advertising for the Shibuya Summer Festival, with some of the performers at the concert piquing interest. They decide to go to the festival as a group. At the Shinonome household, Akito comes home to overhear Ena talking to their mom about going to the festival. There, Ena notices how he has some new dance shoes, commenting on their design. Akito brushes off her comments, but wonders if she remembers the festival from the past.

Chapter 4: Back to when Akito recently quit soccer, he's lounging around at home dwelling on what happened during his last soccer match when Ena calls him in a panic from the summer festival, asking for him to come urgently. When he arrives at the festival with a pair of sneakers, Ena explains her feet were just sore, annoying Akito. He turns to leave, but encounters Shota. Shota asks for him to come back, but Akito stands on his decision to quit soccer.

Akito ends up walking back to Ena, and she asks about Shota. When Akito reacts defensively, she points out his depressed state since he's quit soccer. But before they can argue any further, the two of them hear cheering from the concert happening at the festival, and Ena drags Akito to watch the concert with her. Seeing the concert, a love of music sparks in him, and after the concert, Ena notices how the concert got to Akito, encouraging him to also try singing. Although Akito's reluctant and still defensive, Ena tells him to just dive in and stop giving up before even trying.

In the present, Akito recalls how that was what got him to where he is now, and believes she completely forgot about the events of that festival.

Chapter 5: Akito and Toya are hard at work practicing until it's late for the festival. Coming home, Akito's visibly tired to the point where Ena notices. On the day of the festival, Akito and Toya meet up with Shota, where the latter explains they'll have to put their items in boxes for the time being. The two of them pack up their items in boxes, and find Airi and Shizuku attending the festival. After a brief chat, they go up to the stage. However, meanwhile, a mix-up has caused some committee members to accidentally grab Akito's box of items, in which were his dance shoes for the performance.

Chapter 6: Nightcord at 25:00 are enjoying the festival together, spending their time at various stalls. At a shooting gallery, Mizuki wins a keychain which they immediately attach to their bag to remember the festival by. However, the keychain falls off without them noticing, and Shizuku and Airi find it on the ground. Soon, Nightcord at 25:00 are waiting for the concert to start, when Mizuki notices they lost their keychain. Ena insists to help search for the keychain, even as Mizuki says it doesn't matter, and the two of them leave Kanade and Mafuyu to look for the keychain. However, as hard as they search, they can't seem to be able to find it. Mizuki wants to give up, but Ena suggests looking in the lost and found. They find it there, where it's revealed Shizuku and Airi returned it. However, Ena also spots that in one of the boxes, there's shoes she instantly recognizes from the design.

Chapter 7: Akito and Toya's search for the dance shoes comes up fruitless, and with the concert starting, they resort to try performing without them. However, Akito receives a call from Ena telling him she found his shoes. Bringing the shoes back to Akito and Toya, Mizuki and Ena have a small chat, where Ena mentions something that makes Akito realize she remembered the festival from years ago. When it's almost time for Akito and Toya to perform, Mizuki and Ena return to the audience, reuniting with Kanade and Mafuyu. The concert goes without a hitch, with Akito and Toya's performance being the highlight of the night.

Chapter 8: After the concert, Kanade and Mafuyu leave. Mizuki and Ena meet up with Akito and Toya again, and Airi and Shizuku also find the group and invite them to enjoy the rest of the festival together. Airi, Shizuku, and Mizuki split off in one group, while Toya and Len are in another, leaving Ena and Akito alone to talk to each other. The pair reminisce on the festival from years ago, with Ena commenting how it's cool Akito's stuck with singing. Akito mentions that it was because of her that he started singing, but she doesn't hear him. Eventually, it's suggested that the entire group plays a game, and although Akito is at first reluctant, he eventually decides to join in, as it's the least he could do after Ena saved him.

#more more jump!#vivid bad squad #nightcord at 25:00 #mixed event #shinonome akito #shinonome ena #momoi airi #hinomori shizuku #aoyagi toya #yoisaki kanade #asahina mafuyu #akiyama mizuki #vbs shota #vbs len #thank you for the submission! sorry it took so long to post. ive been away from my computer for a while!#this is good don't worry :)#and yes!!! love this event..... i'll always hold a soft spot in my heart for these early events <3

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dennydraws · 2 months ago

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What do you mean it's mid February!?

Anyone else feel like time is kinda speed racing? :D;; only me?? Work has been a landslide, holiday event after holiday event which made me overdo my regular coffee intake and now I suffer the consequences of wrecked sleep, migraines and back pain and my friends will probably put me in time out box after reading this... u_u;; I always stress eat/drink during work's more intense periods... and by drink I mean coffee - alcohol is not something I'm fond of anymore.

It feels like a pattern of, work gets busy, I stress, I can't manage with my own personal project, I try to unwind with shows/games then feel guilty stressed I didn't work on said projects and aaaa...

Now that work is calming down, I'm trying to get back into healthier habits and reducing the coffees to 1-2 during the day instead of having the coffee machine injected into my veins through the weekdays lol;;;

I feel iffy I've fallen off with my OCKiss Week challenge, I was excited to do it and my eyes are always super tired once I'm home after work. I hope to get at least 1 drawing done ;u; I was thinking of sketches but maybe just 1 finished piece will be okay. Kisses are still actually kinda hard for me! I end up locked in a loop of adjusting the sketch forever xD;; but that's also fun part of the challenge!

I'm iffy I'm still not done with Sneric Comic chapter 15... I do good progress then something else pops up and I have to do that in the weekend instead. It doesn't help that it's like 9-10 pages and procreate suddenly reminded me I have way too many layers :D;;;; It is a bit too much for a chapter, I admit. My chapters are like 5 pages top and this one is twice the size. I did recently do an overlook of what's left to illustrate, there is still some big story points to hit... so much about "short comic" ...u_u;;;

Admittedly when I started this, supposedly short story, I didn't think it will go for over a year. I did learn some things though! Like, I miss when I draw pages traditionally and I should never underestimate the importance of pre-planning and thumbnailing xD;; I should've learned by now but nope... I thought I could yolo it cause I wasn't super serious with this comic and went off with purely vibes.

Other than that... I'm at the final post end game content in Rune Factory 4! It was a ton of fun :D I loved the characters so much! I am floored at the amount of dialogue and attention to detail. This game spoiled me greatly... u_u;; I don't know if I can finish the Rune Prana dungeon by the end of the month but I will try (Suikoden Remaster is coming in March aaa)!! My Frey got to marry Arthur and I was not prepared for the amount of feels his events brought me. This poor, poor man needs to be pampered and loved. I hope I can squeeze some fan art sometime soon... T^T;;;

Other than that, I'm eating well with Severance season 2!! Oh gosh, this show is an absolute delight to watch... visually and mentally. I'm kinda glad there is one episode every friday otherwise I'd have binged everything and this show feels like it needs a slower consumption. xD It's nice to see a show where the little "whatfuckary" is actually well thought out and intentional.... unlike this other show -side glance at From- .... at least this is the impression I'm getting so far! :D Anyhowsies! This was my quick life update... and I need to scoot back to work now! I hope everyone is doing well and enjoy the chocolates for St Valentine, spend some time with loved ones or give yourself some much deserved quality time! :>

Thank you for stopping by, dear reader!

#Good morning!#life update #denny rambles about life and things :D #nothing important just giving heads up!

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corviiids · 9 months ago

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fic writers director cut ask thingy!!! the palace fic pretty please I must know everything.

ofc if you have something else you've been dying to talk about this is also your opportunity! be free

THANK YOU 😭 i've been sitting on this ask for a few days because i wasn't sure which part to pick so i picked the speluncean explorers scene from chapter 7 (comparing it to the experience machine discussion in chapter 4).

under the cut for spoilers and to avoid spam 🫡 it is Long. this got Long. i originally was going to do a few scenes but then i wrote a fucking thesis about specifically just this one scene and also kind of akeshu as a whole.

“Let me tell you about the Speluncean Explorers,” said Akechi.

you can probably tell, but this is one of those scenes i just got super self-indulgent with lol because i LOVE the speluncean explorers. i will not subject you to more legal philosophy since the chapter already does that, but i really enjoyed using the narration of the story as a device to frame their dynamic with each other. as seen here:

Akechi's eyes sparkled. Ren realised with a start that he, too, had begun to lean in; there was now much less space between their faces than there had been at the start of their conversation. “Five men are caught in a landslide,” said Akechi. “These men are amateur spelunkers—cave explorers. After the cave-in, they’re trapped inside. A rescue operation commences, during which ten workmen are killed. Radio contact is established with the spelunkers. It is determined that the rescuers will not reach them before they starve.” There was something captivating about Akechi's voice. Ren was sure that if this were something that had come up in class, he would long have drifted off—but delivered in Akechi's charming lilt, a picture began to form in Ren's mind of the five men, desperate and alone; of the dark cave; of the crackling voice over the radio informing them that they were all about to die.

the scene kind of starts off as ren agreeing to hear the story just to hear akechi talk, more or less, but he starts to get invested around the time it becomes clear a serious injustice was done in the story. which as we all know is ren's weakness lol.

in the earlier chapters when akc starts waxing philosophical at ren, like when akechi explains the experience machine in chapter 4, ren doesn't quite get into the rhythm of the conversation. not because he isnt smart enough, but because he hasn't really settled into how to engage with akechi when he gets like this - he's sort of focused on keeping up with the philosophy as an academic exercise as opposed to treating it as a window into akechi's way of thinking.

Akechi’s eyes cleared. “Ah, I see. No, you’re missing the point of philosophy.” “Which is?” “Philosophy,” Akechi said. “Proving the point is its own point. It’s about thinking through questions we don’t fully understand so that we can come to a better understanding of ourselves and the world around us. Plus, don’t you think it’s interesting?”

in that scene, akechi closes off the discussion sort of dissatisfied, and ren can tell. akechi is talking at ren, and ren is trying to engage at akechi's level in the way he tends to do with his confidants, by trying to mirror their approach and say what he thinks they need to hear. but he can't do that here, because he's not well-read on philosophy and can't really engage in this academic way. and that's actually not really what akechi wants anyway. so it falls flat and ren figures he's picked the wrong dialogue options:

“I really am interested,” Ren insisted, but from Akechi’s indulgent smile and resigned dismissal from the bar thereafter, he sensed he might have chosen the wrong thing to say somewhere along the line.

however, by chapter 7, ren's stopped trying to mirror akechi or meet his needs, and is starting to engage as himself. ren hasn't read any legal philosophy, but it doesn't really matter. akechi doesn't need ren's Legal Take on the speluncean explorers, because he's a jerk and doesn't really care about other people's academic opinions anyway. he's telling ren this story in the hopes that ren will bring something uniquely ren to the table, and ren is finally able to meet him there.

Akechi's delighted smile widened. “I'll make a philosopher of you yet. You've spotted the problem.” “Anyone could spot the problem. They're executed?” “Sentenced to be executed,” said Akechi, “and as to the problem being obvious, I only wish that were so. The story continues... but surely you must be bored by now, so perhaps I ought to—” “Finish the story,” Ren demanded, which was worth it just to hear Akechi’s cackle.

...

Akechi’s smile is a little too knowing. “I’m quite confident I can predict your perspective on the matter, but do recall this is a legal puzzle and not a purely ethical one, will you? ..."

you can tell that this conversation is much more alive than the previous one. ren does not approach the problem from a legal or academic perspective, he brings himself to it the way akechi always wants him to. in canon, akechi is always saying that ren's pov is refreshing and catches him by surprise. some of that is definitely just him lying for ren's trust, but there's also definitely an element of truth in it, because akechi obviously appreciates talking with ren and enjoys hearing his views. in this scene akechi is able to predict the logical thread of ren's arguments: that it's a waste to sacrifice lives for save people who you then sentence to death, and that it's ethically reprehensible to sentence people to death who have struggled to survive. but he fails to predict the last prong of ren's argument, which is something borne of ren's unique rebellious spirit (and something akechi shares in private but doesn't publicise and for that reason doesn't consider a factor):

“The rules never apply the same way to the ones making them,” said Ren. Akechi whistled. “It always comes back to rebellion with you,” he said affectionately.

this is what akechi wants from ren: his wildcard ability to step outside of a paradigm everyone takes for granted and shatter it. akechi is used to curating himself into what's expected, and he's used to talking to people who operate solely within the status quo, either because they're trying to survive it or because they aren't interesting enough to do otherwise. even the phantom thieves' take on rebellion is fairly pedestrian. but ren has a unique perspective on things and akechi is hungry for it. (im sure im not the first to raise this angle on the speluncean explorers btw although i haven't seen it lol. it's one of the most well known texts in jurisprudence so surely it's been said. but it's not an angle taken in the text itself.)

on the flipside, akechi is the only person who is actually looking for ren and not just what ren can do for him. that's what ren's getting out of this. makoto talks about this in chapter 6:

“I think sometimes we even fail to see you as a complete person,” [Makoto] says, sounding a little horrified at herself. “Even when I spend time with you, it feels like I do all the talking. Like you just reflect back what I need to hear, to help myself. And I—I’ll owe you forever for everything you’ve done for me, but I’m just now realising how little I actually know about you, Ren, because I didn’t make the effort. “But Akechi did, didn’t he? Akechi never spent time with you because he needed your help. Every time he talked about you, even if it was to say he hated you... it was like he was endlessly fascinated by you. Like he really, really wanted to know you.” Makoto smiles. “You two had such a unique relationship. No wonder he mattered so much to you.”

to me this is at the heart of what makes ren and akechi's relationship so compelling and it's sort of metatextual given ren's role as the player character. there are precious few occasions where ren really voices any kind of individual desire or drive because he's meant to be a conduit for the player, and that takes on sort of an interesting twist when you consider that the player is minmaxing social relationships. i did a whole meta write up about this in 2018 on twitter which i need to clean up (i wont link it here because it's a mess + my twitter is locked right now but remind me to post it again) about how ren being the player character means that in-universe he's doing exactly what akechi is doing, i.e. saying what people want to hear from him, except on an interpersonal rather than performative level. in that sense they're both wearing heavier masks than everyone around them and beneath the mask is very much about both of them.

this fic was started before royal, but i have pulled from it a lot because it's in alignment with what im doing >:) royal highlights that akechi is the only character in the game that ren isn't doing that around. it's important that he's the only confidant in the game (barring your teammates) that you don't approach because you're trying to make some kind of deal, and even including your teammates, he's the only one who isn't seeking your help for something. akechi's confidant is just him getting to know ren, partly for infiltration reasons, but partly just because he likes spending time with him. and ren caring about akechi is one of the only choices ren really gets to make with no player input. no matter what you do, ren will lie in bed thinking about akechi's sacrifice. ren will always be reluctant to sacrifice akechi on 2/2 even if he ultimately agrees to do it. he will always indicate that he's upset when lavenza 'confirms' that akechi is gone. and if you go to the jazz club on your last day in tokyo, ren will take out the glove and affirm that he believes akechi is alive, even if the player doesn't give a shit.

anyway, one final note on this scene since i've kind of gone off topic.

The waiter arrives with their drinks. Akechi smiles at him like no one’s ever done anything quite so kind, and the waiter leaves with a slightly dizzy grin. “I think you blinded him,” said Ren. “Hush, you,” said Akechi.

...

[Ren:] “No, it’s not. Am I wrong?” The way Akechi looked at him—it made Ren feel like Akechi wouldn’t have minded sitting there with him forever. He was, in this way, no different from the waiter, whom Akechi had never met before in his life—no better at resisting that sweet look in Akechi’s eyes, like Ren was the most special person in the world, that he was lying to everyone else. “You’re right,” said Akechi.

im just pleased with this part lol. it's a technique i like using. ren's asking if he's wrong about his prediction of akechi's perspective, but then he has some internal narration thinking about how akechi feels about him. akechi confirms his prediction, but it sort of looks like akechi's confirming ren's musings as well that ren is special to him. is that the case? up to you.

#thank you soooooo much for asking 🥰#so much thought has gone into every element of this fic and i am very soft and worm when people wanna know about it #asks #rookfic #long post #god i hope that readmore works. i am so sorry if this clogs anyone's feed. this is so long #do i need... like.. a meta tag...#rookthots #crawling all over him like weevils #p5 #AYLI

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sequinsmile-x · 1 year ago

Text

The Games We Play - Chapter 1

She’d survived the very worst a person could, lived through things that still kept her up at night, the screams of other innocent people ringing in her head as sleep evaded her.

She’d survived so much, but she didn’t think she’d survive leading him to his death.

A Hunger Games AU

-x-

Hi friends,

Well here it is. The crowning jewel in my crown of insanity. The most unhinged AU I've ever come up with.

I had this idea months ago when watching The Hunger Games, another one of my hyperfixations, and I started teasing a few people saying I'd write a Hotchniss AU based on it. Then I started getting close to a couple of milestones on here...both hitting 2 million words of fanfic and 1,000 followers on tumblr. So I said I'd write this when I hit those milestones.

Both happened yesterday.

So, here we are. I really hope you enjoy this, I've worked really hard on the story and making it fit for our beloved CM characters as well as the setting of The Hunger Games.

The next chapter will be up in a few days. For now it is set as 4 chapters, it might turn into 5 if I get a little carried away.

As always, please let me know what you think!

-x-

Words: 2.5k

A full list of warnings can be found on the series master list

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

“Emily, it’s almost time to go.”

She sighs as her mother calls out for her and she closes her eyes, blowing out a shaky breath before she looks at herself in the mirror. She runs her fingers through her dark, perfectly curled hair, making sure it was lying over her shoulders. The dark green tea dress her mother had picked out for her came down to just above her knees, the colour of it complimenting her skin tone. It was velvet, soft and clearly expensive even just to look at, her appearance at odds with almost everyone else in her district.

She looked every bit like the Victor she wished she wasn’t.

It had been three years since she’d won. Since her name had been called out in the town square, the murmuring of her peers around her, whispers that ‘the mayor's daughter’ hadn’t even been safe fading out as she walked to the stage. In her worst moments, the timing of her mother’s reelection, something that looked unlikely at the time, and her reaping felt suspicious. The mayor’s daughter going into the games and becoming the first Victor for the district in a quarter of a century had won the election in a landslide.

It wasn’t lost on Emily that even if she’d died in the arena her mother would have likely won again anyway.

She liked to think that her mother hadn’t put her life at risk for a small grab of power, that she hadn’t made some deal and bartered her 15-year-old daughter’s survival like a chip in a poker game, hoping no one saw her bluff. She liked to think that, but she knew enough about how it all worked, had seen enough in the Capitol since becoming a Victor to know that power was the most important currency in this country. Instead, Emily actively ignored the truth laid out in front of her, knowing that in order to maintain appearances she had no other choice.

She’d won, but sometimes she wondered if she’d ever left the arena at all.

She looks at herself in the mirror one last time, smoothing her hands down her dress, her palms lingering over where the large scar on her abdomen was, the injury that had almost killed her. It was unsightly, something that made her wince whenever she saw it, but she stood by her decision to not have the Capitol remove it. She wanted to remember every day what she’d survived.

“I’m ready.”

The walk to the town square is familiar. She’s sure she could do it in her sleep, a death march she’d been part of her whole life, something she’d done long before she qualified for the games in the first place. She felt a sense of relief that her friends would age out this year, that this was the final time their names would be in the draw, their 18th birthdays always coming with a sigh of relief because it was the last time they’d stand there, their breath caught in their lungs as they waited to hear their name called out.

It feels like a weight is lifted from her shoulders when she spots Dave the moment she steps into the town hall. He was her mentor and friend, the only other victor to ever come from their district. The only other person who knew what it took from someone to win the games and come home alive.

“Hey kid,” he says, pulling her into a hug, one she returns gratefully. She freezes when she hears a throat clear from behind her, her mother’s disapproval at the father figure in her life something she’d made clear. Emily smiles tightly at Dave as she pulls back from him, and she conceals a smile when he winks at her, “You ready?”

She blows out a slow breath. None of this ever got any easier. Having to stand on stage in silence, a fake smile painted on her face, as more children were picked for a death they’d done nothing to deserve. The screams of the parents constantly echoed in her head, never quite going away. They always came back with a vengeance when the tributes died and she knew she was going home on an empty train, with no way she could possibly comfort anyone.

She’d become a cog in the machine that she hated, and she wasn’t sure how she’d ever escape. Her victory and her biggest crime both wrapped up in surviving, in pulling herself out of the pit she’d been thrown into when she was 15.

“Yeah,” she breathes out, pressing her lips together as she lets her mask slip into place, “I’m ready.”

___

He has to encourage this brother out of the house.

His father was passed out drunk in the living room, and his mother was close to hysterical at the thought of Sean being old enough to go into the games now, a level of emotion Aaron didn’t ever remember her showing for him.

He wraps his arm around Sean’s shoulders as they approach the town square, and he feels the 12-year-old tense, his body tight with a fear that Aaron remembered well. It was a feeling that oddly faded over the years, leaving him almost apathetic now, the reality that this was the final year he’d have to do this almost lost on him until his mother mentioned it in passing that morning.

“It will be okay Sean,” Aaron says, stopping to look at his brother, a smile he hopes is reassuring on his face, “It’s your first year. People rarely get their name called on their first year.”

Sean nods and carries on walking towards the signing-in point, “Will Mom and Dad come?”

Aaron sighs as he ruffles his younger brother's hair, “Mom probably will. Dad’s…resting after a long day at work yesterday.”

“I’m 12, not stupid Aaron,” he says, and they come to a stop again before they both join their respective lines, “You don’t have to protect me anymore,” he shrugs, a playful smile spreading across his face, “If the government think I’m old enough to die for entertainment, I’m old enough to know Dad is a piece of crap.”

Aaron chuckles and shakes his head before he ruffles Sean’s hair again, wondering when his little brother had grown up, “Don’t talk like that.”

Sean shrugs him off, any remnants of nerves long gone, “See you after?”

He nods, “See you after.”

Aaron sighs as he signs in, not even flinching as they take a drop of blood to confirm his identity, and he then walks over to the holding pen for his year group. He pauses for a moment when he spots Haley, his smile tight as their eyes meet. They’d dated for the last couple of years but ended their relationship recently, a difference in opinion on what life would hold for them once they were free from this pulling them apart. She smiles back, offering him a small wave before she turns back to her friends, and he finds a place to stand.

He looks up as the doors to the town hall open, the usual anthem playing out through crackly speakers set up around the square. His gaze is immediately fixed on Emily, her beauty as distracting as it always had been.

He’d known her all his life. She was from the other side of town, but they’d always gone to school together. She was nice, and funny and beautiful, never using the fact she was the mayor’s daughter to try and gain favour or popularity. If anything, she seemed to butt against the privilege it would give her, constantly pushing boundaries. They were friends for most of their lives, and always spent as much time together as possible. He’d been in love with her, always convincing himself that one day they could be more than friends.

Then she was reaped and everything changed.

He’d watched the games closer than he ever had that year, looking out for her as much as possible, always feeling a strange sense of elation and fear the moment he saw her. When she won he was happy, delighted that she’d survived, that he wouldn’t have to imagine a life without her, but she came back different. Changed by the things she had seen and done in the games.

She never returned to school, the life of a Victor seemingly a busy one, and her initial attempts at spending time with him faded away once he started to date Haley. Their friendship changed by circumstances beyond their control. He’d aged out of school just a few months ago and soon as he’d turned 18 he’d got a job alongside his father.

Aaron missed Emily, even though she was right in front of him, and he wanted to fix things one day, to be whatever she needed.

She always looked like she needed a friend, her life as lonely as it was busy, her only real company these days found in David Rossi - the only other Victor from their district.

Their eyes briefly meet, her’s flicking towards him, a brief smile flashing across her face before she continues to look forward, stoic and strong in a way she’d been since long before he stood hopelessly in this very spot when her name rang out around them.

He’s drawn back into what’s going on around him, all the explanations for why this was happening, the price they were paying for a war fought and lost long before they were born. The enthusiasm with which the woman from the Capitol explained it all always got his shackles up, her brightly coloured clothes and hair as out of place as her zeal for selecting teenagers to send to their deaths.

Emily had told him once, fresh back from the games, her clothes stuffed with padding to try and hide the weight she’d noticeably lost, that the woman’s name was Penelope. That she was actually nice, albeit misguided, and that she’d been one of the few people in the Capitol Emily had been able to get along with.

“Ladies first,” Penelope says, reaching into the giant bowl, dipping her hand into the pile of slips of paper, a literal hand of fate dealt to someone standing in the crowd. She picks a slip and unfolds it, stepping back in front of the microphone, “Kate Joyner.”

Aaron looks over at Kate and sees the momentary panic flash through her before she steps away from the crowd and walks over to the stage. She was 17 and in the year below at school, someone he’d always got along with any time that they interacted. He feels guilty for the flash of relief that rushes through him when he realises this means Haley was free, that she’d never be at risk of going through all of this again. Despite everything, he still loved her, had still imagined a future with her, and he was happy she’d get to have the life she deserved and wanted.

He looks back at the stage and sees Emily reach out and touch Kate’s arm as she stands next to her, a brief thing he’s sure no one else would notice unless they were looking right at her. It’s a moment of comfort, something that he’s sure doesn’t even touch the surface of what Kate is feeling. But it’s something. A reminder she isn’t alone in this.

At least, she wouldn’t be alone until the moment she stepped into the Arena.

“And now for the gentlemen,” Penelope says, and Aaron feels his breath catch in his chest, the few moments it takes her to pick a name seem to last a lifetime, everything drawn out into slow motion, even the breeze in Emily’s hair, loose strands moving in the wind with more freedom than any of them had ever had. Penelope picks up one of the slips of paper and unfolds it, “Sean Hotchner.”

It takes a moment for Aaron’s brain to catch up, for him to realise what’s happened. He snaps his head to where his brother is standing. He can see from where he is that Sean is panicking, that tears are flooding his eyes as his peers step backwards from him, making it clear to everyone exactly who he is. It seemed unfair, cruel that his brother had been picked on his first ever time when this was Aaron’s sixth time going through this process.

Aaron doesn’t think about it, his body moving on autopilot, his desire to spare his brother from this, to save him in a way he hadn’t been to save him from their father, driving him forward. He’s standing on the path leading to the stage before Sean can even start to walk towards it, and he sucks in a deep breath, before he says two words that he’s sure all but sign his death warrant.

“I volunteer.”

___

She freezes as she watches him walk out from where he was standing. She already knew what was about to happen. He was brave to a fault, foolhardy with his own safety, and he loved his brother. He held everyone he cared about in higher esteem than himself. His almost subconscious desire to protect everyone around him even to his own detriment something she’d known about since they were small children.

He’d once taken the blame for damaging a vase in her mother’s house that she’d broken, claiming it was his fault that it had fallen from the table it had been sitting on even though it was her who had knocked it over. He’d teased her about it for years, and winked as he told her that owed him one.

Emily can’t help but stare as he walks up the stairs to the stage and stands next to Penelope.

“A volunteer, how exciting,” Penelope says, her exuberance something Emily cannot find comfort in for once, “What’s your name?”

“Aaron…” he says, clearing his throat, “Aaron Hotchner.”

His name rings out around the town square, a death rattle he was ringing himself. One that had led so many to their demise before him. The last few years it had happened under her watch, and it takes everything in her not to gasp, to continue to play the part of the victor she’d been for three years now.

She’d survived the very worst a person could, lived through things that still kept her up at night, the screams of other innocent people ringing in her head as sleep evaded her. She’d survived so much, but she didn’t think she’d survive leading him to his death.

Not when she’d been in love with him for as long as she could remember.

-x-

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