#lando bringing fernando tea <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[georgiasbrainstuff]

Sympathy is a knife for Lando Norris

Another one for my Charli XCX/norstappen collection.

[brakingpoint]

i missed your answer but happy day of the lord i'd love you to rank drivers by hotness because i think you're hilarious

you know what it's been like three days of the lord since you sent this but i've finally got bevved on one of them so let's go. i do not believe in rankings so i will instead be offering my commentary in current drivers championship standings order

max verstappen - i wont lie i know he's not everyone's cup of tea but i do find him quite sexy. do not understand the overwhelming tit hype on this website because this man would have to clench for his life to fill a victoria's secret training bra but it's fine because his beautiful autistic rizz and enchantingly bold nose make up for it. points deducted because i can tell his skincare routine is dish soap

lando norris - 2019 lando norris is like, i am honestly too old to have found him sexy if i'd been into f1 at the time bc even though we're only like 2/3 years apart in age he looks about 5 years younger than me. but i can completely get how if you were like 16 at the time he would seem like the cutest boy on the planet. like up all night era one direction vibes you know. unfortunately his 2024 styling with the weird desperate attempt at facial hair makes him look like a man who uses snapchat for evil

charles leclerc - objectively beautiful man crafted by the gods themselves but i can't honestly say he makes me feel anything carnally. i look at him as i would a marble sculpture in a museum

oscar piastri - he is not a bad looking guy but he does nothing for me. partially an age thing and partially his complete lack of rizz. he doesn't have time to be sexy he's got a job to do and that job is scaring the pants off lando norris every time he's within DRS range

carlos sainz - sometimes i think he is one of the top 10 sexiest men ever to exist on the planet and sometimes i think he looks like that really angry eagle off the muppets. he's got to work the right angles

lewis hamilton - much like charles leclerc he is someone who is so deeply objectively sexy that it almost reverts to me feeling nothing wait a second somebody just beamed psychic images of those interviews from like singapore 2019 where he had his hair up but with a couple bits framing his face so gorgeously and now i can't form words or think of anything else

george russell - the thing you have to understand is i went to oxford and i went clubbing a lot in oxford and so i have made out with a number of george russell lookalikes that is easily in the double figures. and i have zero regrets

sergio perez - he's not sexy he is like a cabbage patch doll whose nose i want to boop so fondly as i very gently whisper in his ear to DRIVE FUCKING FASTER

fernando alonso - i don't find him sexy but at the same time i can understand why lance stroll does

nico hulkenberg - i feel like you either have to be a really really straight woman or a really really gay european man to find him hot. and i am unfortunately neither

lance stroll - i'm refraining from answering until he grows his hair back out. at which point i will still refrain from answering but moreso for my own dignity

yuki tsunoda - we must not underestimate the rizz of a man so short he could be a back up dancer on sabrina carpenter's short 'n' sweet tour. i can unequivocally say i would

alex albon - you see physically he is not really my type but being engaged in conversation with him for more than five minutes would have me so horny i can barely breathe. i just love a dork yknow. i feel like i'd match with him on tinder by the strength of his bio even though his selfies are a bit shit and then i'd be actively drooling throughout the entire date

daniel ricciardo - in 2018, yes. in 2021 onwards, no. was he in some sort of reverse dorian grey situation where his portrait has gotten both hotter and attained better f1 results? who knows

pierre gasly - if he brings back the long swoopy hair with the frosted tips we are back in fucking business quite frankly

ollie bearman - i know he's technically an adult but he looks so young that even including him in this poll as an aside feels noncey to me

kevin magnussen - i have nothing to say. next

esteban ocon - he's tall, i suppose

franco colapinto - once again it's an ollie bearman situation where i can objectively acknowledge that he's a handsome lad but i've been following him since he was 19. i CANNOT see him that way.

zhou guanyu - i feel like his inherent swag is wasted in f1 i'd probably fancy him a lot more if he was some rando catwalk model i saw reblogged onto my dash precisely once when he was walking the runway in dior's latest collection at paris fashion week or something

logan sargeant (rip) - i really can't knock the people who fancy him because i feel like if you're american making out with 5000 guys who look just like him at college parties is my equivalent of making out with a ton of george russell impersonators at oxford. but thus i cannot see it due to our vastly different life experiences

valtteri bottas - he's hot in the way that like i walk into a gay bar and see the posters of men in leather jockstraps plastered around the place and go you know what this is not targeted to me but i can see why this is hugely titillating to the people these pictures were actually put up for. he's the closest to 1980s gay porn we have on this grid and i have to hugely respect that even if he's not my personal type

bonus liam lawson round - he looks like he was meant to debut in a boyband circa 2014 but accidentally got locked in a portaloo before their first recording session and they just kind of forgot about him there and he's just stumbled out into the daylight right now for the first time in 10 years and he's a little startled and hasn't learned about modern fashion yet but he's still kind of hot to people who would have desperately fancied luke from 5SOS were they above the age of seven at the time that band debuted

[blorbocedes]

Heyy blorby anon who wrote about deaged Nico again I know it's been a long time since it was a hot topic on this blog but I watched the baby Nico video on his YouTube channel and I have thoughts and feelings about it again. So here's how I think the f1 teams would interact with deaged Nico:

1. Mercedes

According to them Nico is THEIR baby everyone else needs to back off. Each and every single Mercedes employee seems to be wrapped around his little finger and they are extremely possessive over him. Sidenote George I'd bribing him with candy to blame everything that goes wrong on Lando. Broken glass blame it on Lando. Finger painting on Toto's photo of Christian Horner blame it on Lando. Various Albon pets found in the Mercedes hospitality blame it on Lando

2. Williams

There is mutual adoration between them. Nico associates them with his dad and Williams associates him with good PR. Alex has experience with kids and knows how to play with kids without hurting them or treating them like they're made of porcelain bur he's still subjected to Lewis yelling "be gentle!he's only little!". Nicky just gives him a lot of Nutella and ends up giving him a sugar high just before returning him to Mercedes

3. Ferrari

Nico obviously loves them and they really need good PR because otherwise they'll need to open an OnlyFans. Charles and him babble at each other in French and Charles gives him plenty of his patented gentle cheek pinches and head pats. Ferrari has an unlimited folder of photos of them cuddled up. Also since no one can say no to Bambi eyes carlos and Ferrari has plenty of videos of Carlos attempting to converse with baby Nico while Nico just pulls his hair and hugs him.

4. McLaren

Nico shows up demanding Mika they can't provide him with Mika so he has a meltdown and screams his head off. This leads to Lando having a meltdown as well and calling Carlos for help. Carlos tries to make them get along but this just leads to more tears. Carlos has no idea which crying baby to calm down first. Daniel swoops in cheers him up shoots a lot of cute insta videos with him and has another PR win. Zak tries to recruit Nico to his endless list of potential mclaren drivers.

5. Haas

Loves Mick. Loves K Mag. Hates Steiner. "Gene the baby is a focking merc spy"

6. Red Bull and Alphatauri

I've clubbed them together because the answer is the same. He adores all of them. Max is an always willing playmate. Checo being a parent himself is a kid whisperer and knows all his non verbal communication. Pierre is French and messy and even in baby form Nico appreciates a good drama starter. Yuki is always bringing him exotic food items to try and teaching him fun Japanese phrases. However he hates Christian Horner because due to his and Toto's homoerotic behavior he believes that Toto is cheating on Susie with him

7. Aston Martin

Not much there but when Nico is being particularly bratty Seb wrangles him on to his lap and makes him sit still and behave and Aston Martin would never turn down a good photo opportunity

8. Alpine

Esteban and Pierre have the exact same relationship with Nico but Nico is also Esteban's back up Karaoke partner when Mick is busy. Fernando is attempting to partner with Nico to spread chaos

9. Alfa Romeo

Valtteri gave him his bucket hat for free after he caught Nico staring at it also he's trying to teach Nico Finnish. The Finnish lessons are actually going very well. If Nico had been on his best behavior all day (which is very rarely) Zhou makes him a tiny baby cup of bubble tea to sip at

Thanks for entertaining my unhingedness!!!

i NEEDED this dose of cuteness I need it injected into me actually 🥹🥹🥹

blame everything on lando!!! so true

"Nico associates Williams with his dad and they associate him with good PR" killed me. he IS good PR though. the greatest. although is he just a cute baby or is he world champion nico rosberg who turned into cute baby cause that's 2 different PR strategies 🤔

Ferrari having to choose between the onlyfans thirstposting or the baby fever posting 💀

GIVE HIM MIKA!!! GIVE HIM MIKA RN!! TAKE HIM OUT OF HIS SABBATICAL..... Carlos' crying baby being Lando you own my heart actually... naur zak brown tryna RECRUIT 💀

love that baby Nico has such strong opinions on monogamy

Max as a willing playmate 🥹 checo going full dad ahhhh saur cute... nico finally learning finnish...the baby bubble tea

this whole post is the equivalent of drinking hot chocolate with marshmallows... thank you