#laird mayhew

[awritessomething]

Early Gifts | laird mayhew x fem!reader

requests masterlist

summary | after an argument involving the future in-laws, Laird apologizes with actions instead of just words.

warnings | smut, swearing, oral f!receiving, fingering, short handjob, very vocal Laird, hint at sub!Laird, short angsty scene, basically smut no plot

ignore that the gif isn’t laird but just James Franco pls there’s no good gifs of laird. I’m trying out this whole ‘you’ thing instead of she

Meeting the parents for the first time is always a nerve wracking experience, one of the hard points of a relationship. Especially when the one they’re being introduced to is the CEO of a video game company and also manages to have absolutely zero filter. The tattoos that littered his body could arguably be some of the worst to ever be tattooed. But as long as it’s love, right?

December 24th, Christmas Eve, Laird was two days into the whole meeting the parents thing. He did not get along with any of your family, and the whole thing was a nightmare. He put in pointless new additions to his house just to impress your family, but it just didn’t seem to be going his way. It was humbling, to say the least. The fact that you wanted to drop out of university to work and live with him full time wasn’t making it better either.

The decision to drop out was supposed to be one that you were going to bring up to your parents, since that was just… right. Instead of that going as planned, Laird spat out the news during a car ride. There was a huge argument happening between everyone in your family, and you were just thoroughly unimpressed with Lairds decision.

To sort out the issues between the two of you, you tugged him into your shared bedroom.

“Laird! Why did you tell my family about university? That was supposed to be my decision. Not yours,” you said, looking up at him. He frowned and took a step closer, seeming a bit guilty about the whole situation.

“I know, I’m sorry. I was just in the car with them and… it just kind of slipped out, man. You know me!” Laird responded, doing his best to justify his actions while also not angering you further. He stuffed his hands into the shallow front pockets of his low rise jeans. His thumbs stayed outside of the fabric. “I thought it was something we could like… talk out.” His eyes stayed locked on you, and he gave you a sheepish smile.

“Its not. Not this time.” Your arms crossed over your chest. He took a step closer, removing his hands from his pockets. The idea to put his hands in them now seemed pointless. He reached out and cupped your cheek.

“I’m sorry. I’m sure it’ll work out, baby. They can’t stay mad.” He murmured. “You look so sexy though, absolute boner-bait.” He smiled, that stupid smile that made his eyes disappear.

“That wont work tonight,” you told him firmly. He hummed and leaned in, pressing a kiss to your lips.

“Is that working?” He murmured against the soft skin.

“No,” you responded, your hands somehow on his chest. His head tilted and his lips located new skin on the right side of your neck with an exaggerated and muffled moan. “Ok, maybe a little bit.” Your initial answer changed quickly. Then the left side. His hands reached around and slid from your shoulder blades down your spine, and eventually to meet your ass.

“Lemme make it up to you, you know I’m sorry,” he whispered, head lifting just slightly. The nod that came from you in response was hardly registered by your own mind, but he caught it. His hands squeezed the muscle and he lowered himself slightly to be able to pick you up. Your back hit the stupidly big bed just a few moments later.

His fingers ran down the outsides of your thighs and then moved back to the button keeping on your bottoms. He kissed the fabric beside it and tugged it loose before dragging the clothing off of your body. The way his eyes seemed to roll back as his nose pressed against the soft, thin fabric of your panties, didn’t go unnoticed. His fingers gripped your skin a little tighter as his lips parted to press kisses to your skin through the cotton.

“Laird, don’t tease. Not tonight.” The words slipped out a bit needier than they were supposed to. He nodded, but he obviously didn’t actually comprehend what you said. He kissed your clit through the soft colored garment. Your hips lifted slightly to his face, bumping his nose. That seemed to be what woke him up.

His head turned and his lips pressed against the inside of your thigh. He bit, just an affectionate gesture that sometimes slipped out. Then his hands moved back up your sides, desperate to feel whatever bit of you that he could. His sharp breaths that left his nose could be felt against your skin, as if it hurt him to breathe.

“Thank you,” he murmured. His fingers hooked on the edges of your panties and he pulled them down. The action was agonizingly slow. Laird seemed to relish in the sight. Your head lolled to the side, your leg on that half of your body closed slightly as you attempted to get a better view at him. He was laying on the bottom half of the bed, his hips twitching into the mattress. He was getting off to this.

Once the panties were off, your eyes followed the movements of the hand that held them. He stuffed the cloth into his back pocket. The only thing preventing you from pointing it out and probably calling him an idiot was the feeling of him press his face into your warmth. The moan that rumbled out from his throat was louder than your own.

His mouth opened and he let his tongue fall onto your folds, prying them open with the muscle. His eyes shut as he readjusted his body slightly to get at a better angle. One of his arms wrapped around your hips, tugging your body against his face. The satisfied whimper that he dragged out of you made his hips stutter against the mattress. His other hand found your clit. His thumb rubbed slow circles against the bundle of nerves.

His tongue slipped from between his lips and delved inside of you, swirling to try to get as deep as possible. Your knees closed around his head as he moaned against your core, desperately sucking at your hole. The obscene noises made by your connected bodies were some of the worst you had heard. He pulled back slightly and ran a lick up your folds, moving his thumb briefly away to allow him to suck at it.

“Holy- fuck! Laird-” your fingers curled into his hair, trying to pull him away, but your legs closed and hips lifting to keep him close. He groaned softly against your skin. His lips locked around your clit, sucking and swirling as his fingers moved under his chin to locate your hole once more. “Wait-!” You almost said, but his pointer finger dipped inside. The digit found its way knuckle deep embarrassingly fast.

A few thrusts of the singular finger and he added in his middle, hand shifting to allow quicker and deeper movements. The words that bubbled in your throat all faded to nothing. No thoughts were even allowed in your mind except for him.

The bed shook underneath the two of you, and neither were sure whether it was due to the trembling of your own body under his touch, or due to the way he pushed his cock against the mattress through his jeans.

The way his fingers and mouth navigated your body was better than you could’ve dreamed. Just a few short seconds later, the tips of his fingers located the g-spot. The short cry that was torn from your lips and the buck of your hips was enough of a sign for him. He continued those same movements, not allowing a single moment of rest.

Not until he felt the squeeze of your thighs tighten around his skull and tasted your release on his tongue.

The comedown from your climax seemed never-ending as he dragged his tongue from the top to bottom of your folds until he was sure he tasted it all. The light grey comforter seemed black. His arms wrapped around you and tugged you up to the headboard.

Your eyes wandered curiously down to the bulge in his jeans, which looked very uncomfortable. He stood up from the bed.

“I’ll be right back,” he said.

“Where are you going?” You sat up a little straighter. He pointed at the washroom and down at his jeans. You shook your head. “Come here, I’ll help.”

Laird didn’t make you repeat yourself twice. The jeans and boxers fell from his hips immediately. He nearly ran to the bed and moved next to you. He was harder than a rock, and every breath he took had his cock twitching. You tapped his tip, and he jolted. Using the precum that had gathered at his base, your fingers wrapped around his cock. His legs were shaking even when you weren’t moving.

He always did cum pretty fast, but never as fast as he did then. One stroke and his abs were tensing. Two more and his head fell back with a guttural moan. His cum spurted onto his chest and all over your hand. He didn’t seem ashamed in the slightest. There was no reason to be ashamed anyways. He was just very into you.

As the two of you sat there on the Alaskan king, neither said a thing. His cock softened on his abdomen, your clit ceased to throb. Lairds head turned.

“Shower?”

[storylineid]

Movie recap "Why Him?" is a comedy film about Ned Fleming, a protective father, who clashes with his daughter's eccentric billionaire boyfriend, Laird Mayhew. As Ned tries to accept Laird's unconventional ways, they engage in a comedic battle for Stephanie's approval. The film explores themes of family, acceptance, and finding common ground.

[phantasmicfish]

I love how over the duration of his trip, Scotty goes from this:

Into this:

AKA from mild-mannered, respectable 15-year-old who dresses like he’s 80 into sleeveless-shirts + beanies, accompanied by C++ books. Scott really decided fuck the paper company, I’m going to become just like Laird.

[babyyeah]

[elilopez18]

This will always crack me up 😂🐔

[thebcwens]

『 avan jogia. thirty. cis man. he/him. 』 oh heavens, is that JASPER BOWENS from MAIN STREET i see roaming around mapleview? minnie may’s always calling them -SELF-DESTRUCTIVE & -IRRESPONSIBLE. i happen to think they’re not that bad! they’re a pretty cool OWNER of STRINGS & THINGS MUSIC SHOP and every time i’ve seen them, they’ve always been +SPONTANEOUS & +CARING. i hope i see them around again!

drugs tw, addiction tw, miscarriage tw, death tw ! @mapleviewstarters​

NAME : vincent jasper desai-bowens NICKNAME : jasp, vinnie (family and older mapleview residents only) SEXUALITY : pansexual RELATIONSHIP STATUS : in a relationship with paxton ZODIAC SIGN : aquarius PARENTS : james bowens and priya desai-bowens SIBLINGS : amir bowens (40), eva bowens-walker (40) RESIDENCY : a quaint and comfortable apartment near the music shop OCCUPATION : owner and manager of strings & things CHARACTER INSPO : ulysses zane (apocalypse now), klaus hargreeves (the umbrella academy), lito rodriguez (sense8), liam (high fidelity), frank n’ furter (the rocky horror picture show), laird mayhew (why him?).

CHILDHOOD

vincent jasper desai-bowens was born and raised in mapleview to an irish dad and an indian mother. james and priya bowens moved to mapleview in 1979, not long after they got married. james soon found himself a job at the factory and they decided to build their family in the small town.

the couple welcomed their twins not too long after, the golden boy and the wonderful girl were both named after priya’s late parents -- amir and eva. that’s when the bowens’ started to settle down and james made the bold decision to make money from his passion for music, quitting his job at the factory and buying the music store in town.

but then nearly ten years later, priya got pregnant with their third child. it was a risky pregnancy, since she was almost in her forties. they welcomed a strong and healthy baby -- who was named after james’ father and personal hero, a brave man that fought in the war. they were living the dream. that was, until vincent grew up.

being the youngest of three was hard. especially when your parents' had great expectations for you and your siblings’ were fucking geniuses and you were just, well, you. vincent was never the brightest kid or even interested in anything. he was the kid who’d bite others for no reason, yell at the teachers and break toys. he was the worst possible kid a parent could want but once his teenage years rolled in, the bowens’ knew he was never going to change.

TEENAGEHOOD

by the time vincent got to high school, he started to finally make friends for the first time. that’s when he met adrien and tba, who later on became his best and only friends. the teenage version of vincent wasn’t much different from the kid version, only this time the rebellious acts were in different ways -- vincent stopped attending church, would spend more time in detention than in class and would even pick fights for the hell of it. but what was the last straw for his father was when the rumors of vincent using drugs started to run around town. of course, it wasn’t like he was doing hard drugs or anything, but the bowens were a respectable family in mapleview.

to say james was furious was an understatement. and during their last fight, he told vincent he didn’t deserve the name he got and he was a lost cause. that’s when he dropped the name and started going by jasper. that was also the night he ran from home. only sixteen, with nowhere to go and no money to his name. he never talked to his dad again after that.

his sister eva, not wanting him to turn into a homeless person, took him in. but it still hasn’t enough. jasper started getting into a darker path and eventually into heavy drugs. around that time, jasper and his friends found a man that was almost dead. they saved his life but it always stuck with him. he watched as his friends were moved by the act, but he felt nothing. the only desire he had was to deepen himself in drugs. it didn’t take long for jasper to drop out of school and get kicked out of his sister’s house. he then became known as mapleview’s junkie and the bowens’ black sheep -- if he wasn’t already.

ADULTHOOD & NOW

because of his addiction, jasper pretty much pushed out every single friend he ever had from his life, refusing to drag them into his mess. when he turned twenty-one, he was in and out of rehab like it was a hobby. but during one stay, he met someone. and that someone gave him hope.

jasper was in love with her and he actually saw himself having a future for the first time. the boy even got a job so they could shack up together. after a year of being together, they found out she was pregnant. but the dream didn’t last long, she had a spontaneous miscarriage and that’s when things went downhill again.

feeling guilty about what happened to her and thinking that somehow it was his fault, jasper left her and fled to los angeles. he doesn’t talk much about what his life was like there.

about two years ago, jasper’s mom reached out to him with news that his father had passed. she told him about the plan his older siblings had of selling the music store since they had no interest in it, obviously too busy with their own lives to care, and asked that he’d come home to take over the business. he’s been the owner since.

his return to mapleview was a shock to everyone who hadn’t seen or heard from him in years, most of which just assumed he had died or something. and to be honest, if it wasn’t for his mom, he’d never step foot in town again. the amount of trauma that jasper went through would be enough to break anyone, but he’s managing. well, not really. but he’s trying.

RANDOM FACTS

only is ok with getting called “vincent” by his family and older mapleview residents. he will hit a bitch if he gets called that.

since he’s living near his mama, he’s trying to get on his best behavior. he’s just happy to be with her and be able to take care of her.

always shaking like a fucking chihuahua because of his addiction.

he hates his siblings. if he had the strength, he’d roundhouse kick the shit out of his brother

luckily for him, he doesn’t have to deal with them since they moved away from mapleview a while ago. they also barely talk and he doesn’t even know if he has nephews or not. Sad

sometimes he forgets he’s the boss ( oi leo from that 70s show! ) and forgets to pay his employees

if he says he’ll be “taking care of stuff” in his office, you bet he’ll be napping there pls come back from 2 to 4 hours thanks

he can speak three languages: english, hindi and gujarati

[jimsmovieworld]

WHY HIM?- 2016 ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Ned (Bryan Cranston) finds out his beloved daughter has a new boyfriend. He and his family are invited to join them for christmas in California. When he gets there he finds out the new boyfriend is eccentic millionaire/total buffoon Laird Mayhew. They lock horns battling over whats best for Stephanie.

Not a bad holiday movie. Some of its quite funny, a lot of isnt. The joke where Laird cant stop swearing is done 100 times, yikes.

But quite light hearted and a few good cameos.

[madelynedwards-blog]

COURSE POST #4: Techie propaganda

My mom and I saw the holiday flick Why Him? (2016) in theaters. We laughed at the raunchy comedy and felt comforted by the movie’s predictability. It was like Meet the Parents (2000) in reverse. 

Movies negate or reinforce culture. Why Him? serves us with a positive outlook on Silicon Valley and fails to challenge the industry. 

Photo credit: https://www.bhscrimson.com/4267/entertainment/why-him-movie-review/ 

What you don’t see in the above picture is that James Franco’s character Laird Mayhew is the CEO of a successful video game company. As a result, he’s a multimillionaire. Brian Cranston’s Ned Fleming owns a failing paper/printing company, a pointed representation of old-school technology. The two characters play foils to each other, which shows a struggle between the superior startup, techie culture vs. traditional views of a family-owned small business. In the end, they realize they aren’t so different, as if Laird is the upgraded, 2016 version of Ned. 

The plot is simple: Laird dates Stephanie, Ned’s daughter. Ned doesn’t like Laird, so he attempts to break them up while staying at Laird’s home for Christmas. In the end, differences are settled, and everyone ends up happy. 

Laird is the heart of this film. He’s the character who makes the most jokes, has the best one-liners and is the spectacle that draws an audience. He is the most lovable character, the one we are meant to sympathize with. Past the foul language and over-the-top lifestyle, Laird deeply seeks approval and care. He needs Stephanie in his life to keep him grounded and to forgive him even in his worst moments. The audience may identify with Ned, but they root for Laird. 

We’re also meant to envy Laird, his wealth, his care-free attitude, his massive home fit for a Kardashian. 

(Laird’s house. Photo credit: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x55bb7p) 

That’s why I consider this film to be pro-Silicon Valley, pro-techie despite the tech industry’s shortcomings. 

WIRED senior writer Erin Griffith wrote an article denouncing the Lairds of Silicon Valley, comparing them to Wall Street bankers after the Great Recession of 2007. 

Griffith goes on to write that the issue of startup culture is not tied to a single instance but the general distaste for techies. She mentioned Uber’s moral reckoning after the chief executive resigned amidst sexual harassment scandals. She listed examples of infamous tech startups that aimed to solve nonexistent problems and knock workers out of jobs. 

In the late 2000s, people were excited about technology’s progress, Griffith wrote. We jumped on Myspace, Facebook and YouTube with delight. Now, the tech industry reinforces capitalism and puts themselves on top of the socio-economic hierarchy.

Why Him? does include one brief scene to tackle the arrogance and cluelessness of techies in Silicone Valley but without progress. The movie acknowledges the ugly side of startup culture but does so in a way that doesn’t move the conversation further. Minutes later, the movie goes back to building up Laird. 

In all, Why Him? tells us to trust, sympathize and excuse the Lairds in Silicone Valley, even as they shove technology down our throats and take our jobs. 

[hvancouve]

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  from https://youtu.be/GuUaaPaTlyY March 25, 2020 at 02:41PM

[batangtamad]

Ned Fleming: I think you might be insane.

Laird Mayhew: I am… Insanely in love with your daughter.

[awritessomething]

I have absolutely no ideas for writing whatsoever pleaseplease leave requests!!! Smut, angst, fluff, whatever y’all want I can probably do.

Ill write for these people and probably more that I forgot (all male character x fem!reader) :

Formula 1:

Max Verstappen

Oscar Piastri

Charles Leclerc

Lewis Hamilton

Carlos Sainz

Daniel Riccardo

Mick Schumacher

Franco Colapinto

Liam Lawson

Ollie Bearman

Criminal Minds

Spencer Reid

Aaron Hotchner

Derek Morgan

Marvel:

Bucky Barnes

Tony Stark

Thor

Deadpool

Steve Rogers

Spiderman (Tom Holland, Andrew Garfield, Miguel O'hara)

Harry Osborn (James Franco)

Wolverine (X-Men movies)

Cyclops (X-Men movies)

Charles Xavier (James McAvoy)

Call of Duty

Keegan Russ

Simon "Ghost" Riley

König

Phillip Graves

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

Star Wars:

Anakin Skywalker

Obi-Wan Kenobi

Kylo Ren

Luke Skywalker

Han Solo

Outer Banks: (pls no spoilers s4 hasnt been watched yet)

JJ Maybank

Rafe Cameron

Topper Thornton

John B. Routledge

Ward Cameron

Harry Potter:

Harry Potter

Cedric Diggory

Draco malfoy

Ron Weasley

Fred Weasley

Blaise Zabini

Regulus Black

Severus Snape

Tom Riddle

Sirius Black

Lorenzo Berkshire

Oliver Wood

The Walking Dead:

Glenn Rhee

Daryl Dixon

Rick Grimes

Carl Grimes

Negan Smith

Sports:

Joao Felix

Jude Bellingham

Brock Purdy

Joe Burrow

Leon Draisaitl

Jack Hughes

Vince Dunn

Mitch Marner

Connor Bedard

Wayne Gretzky (young)

Miscallaneous:

Jack Champion (Ethan Landry)

Patrick Bateman

Batman (Christian Bale)

Johnathan Crane

Finnick Odair

Josh Hutcherson (Peeta Mellark, Mike Schmidt, Sean Anderson, Clapton Davis)

Rodrick Heffley

Tristan Dugray

Dylan O'brien

Bellamy Blake

Patrick Dempsey (Derek Shepherd, Ronald Miller)

Joe Goldberg

Timothee Chalamet (Wonka, Paul Atreides)

Minho (The Maze Runner)

Keanu Reeves (John Wick, Neo, Alex Wyler, Dr. Beckham, Julian Mercer, Ted Logan)

Jim Halpert

Farkas/Vilkas

Ulfric Stormcloak

Miraak

Ben Schnetzer (Max Vandenburg, Brad Land, Russ Sheppard)

Ralph Macchio (Daniel Larusso, Johnny Cade)

Dallas Winston

Sodapop Curtis

Robby Keene

Zuko (atla dallas liu)

Jet (atla sebastian amoruso)

Cillian Murphy (Johnathan crane, jackson rippner, Neil Lewis)

Evan Peters (all ahs characters, Luke cooper)

James Franco (Laird Mayhew, Harry Osborn, all characters)

What I wont do:

Pedophilia

Beastiality or anything animal-y

Waterworks

Male reader (sorry)

Character x character

Threesomes or anything not 1x1

Character x oc

Specific body types (i just don’t see the point)

Daddy/mommy kinks

Incest or stepcest

(I’ll prob have to add on but its midnight rn)

[phantasmicfish]

//are we just not going to talk about this scene?

So, Ned bashes Laird in the forehead with an iPad and no one in the room thinks to talk about this?

Like.

That’s an iPad.

To the face.

Laird definitely needs medical attention, stitches at the very least not to mention Ned’s entire family is just, I guess, //cool// with this type of behavior??

//literal assault but okay

[pelis24web-blog]

¿Tenía que ser él?

Narra la rivalidad entre Ned (Bryan Cranston), un padre hiperprotector, y el nuevo novio de su amada hija, estudiante en Stanford. Él resulta ser Laird Mayhew (James Franco), un multimillonario de Silicon Valley pero socialmente poco convencional.

[moviereviewsposts-blog]

Why him?, a romance/comedy film. Why him, is a movie about a girl who is in love with a man who is 10 years older than her. She wanted her family to go to California to spend the holidays with them along with her boyfriend. The family and the boyfriend got along but the dad did not, at first. The boyfriend was doing everything he can to impress the dad but the dad kept on pushing away until they got into a physical fight-- ate the end everything went well. The good vibe movie got the rating of 6.3/10 in IMDb. The funny movie was released in the year 2016. Stephanie Flemming and Laird Mayhew were portrayed by Zoey Deutch (Steph) and James Franco (Laird).

[landoflaugh-blog]

Tesis: overprotective parents may cause problems in their son’s relationships

This is reflected when Stephanie (Zoey Deutch) told her parents that she’ve got a boyfriend andthat she want them to travel and meet him, Laird, the boyfriend is a rich and famous young man,also very honest with his personal affairs which annoys the parents a little bit, And is the The mainreason for the dislike of his girlfriend’s father , who strives to convince his daughter and wife thatLiard was not the best choice for Stephanie.

The main moment occurs when Laird Mayhew (James Franco) confesses to Ned Fleming (BryanCranston) a serious man, father of family and very overprotective of its children; that he wants tomarry his daughter Stephanie, a young woman responsible and attending college, in 5 days, soshe asks for help and advice to get approval from her future father-in-law. To which he reacts invery bad way totally opposing.

We chose this film for its funny plot, the actor protagonist, but above all for his Spanish subtitlesusing Chilean idioms, which is very original and causes a better reception of the film in the viewer.It also reflects in a very good way how you can affect the opinions of the people around you, andthe lack of tolerance, even of your loved ones; Who are supposed to want the best for you.

To conclude we can say that the movie is very funny, despite having some scenes with vocabulary for adults, we recommend it completely for children over fourteen years and all the rest of the family. It also clearly shows the problems that children may face because of very overprotective reactions from their parents, and can help raise awareness of this.

[matishint]

WHY HIM?

Üpris naljakas komöödia. Näitlejad teevad oma tööd väga hästi ja eriti hea etteaste teeb James Franco (pildil kõige vasem). Minu lemmik tegelane filmist on Keegan-Michael Key kes kehastab Laird Mayhew (James Franco) majahoidjat/finantsjuhti/treenerit/psühholoogi/elujuhti/sõpra Gustav-i. Lugu jutustab sellest kuidas tüdruk isale oma poiss-sõpra tutvustab. Lugu filmi sees väga väike, aga väga naljakalt esitletud.  Üks loo autoreid on Jonah Hill (21 Jump Street).  

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