#laios was overjoyed

[notafagipromise]

I see directly post-canon labrumiso as a polycule that both laios and mithrun are dating kabru but not each other, BUT! I do think that they could be a triad after a while with mithrun and laios building a relationship.

it's insanely funny to me the image of laios sadly telling mithrun about a interesting monster he never got to see before he got cursed, so on one random regular meeting mithrun suddenly teleports into the room with a carcass of the monster laios wanted to see

but I think the funniest of it all is that because of mithrus terrible sense of direction he would have to teleport short distances to be able to figure out where he is and make his way into the castle,that week there was a lot of rumors of a elven ghoul dragging a carcass across the kingdom

also mithrun would immediately crash from lack of mana after teleporting all the way into the castle

[ahalliance]

have i mentioned how much i love laios . feel like i need to talk about how much i love him

[yeahyankee]

WHEN THE MOON HITS YOUR EYE LIKE A BIG 🍕 PIE, DATS AMORE 📢 📢

late dinner

[laikabu]

modern AU: kabru and laios get married, but their definition of marriage is simply signing the legal papers and then going home—no proposals, no fanfare, nothing. marcille later calls it an affront to the sanctity of marriage, not because it’s gay, but because they did nothing aside from the legal part.

kabru suggested it in the first place, mentioning that they would be able to stay with each other in the hospital if one of them had an accident or fell seriously ill. laios didn’t show it, but he felt a little sad that kabru was only being practical about it. still, he was thankful and overjoyed that kabru wanted to marry him at all—just as surprised that kabru hadn’t grown tired of him yet.

kabru framed it that way because he didn’t want to admit his “selfish” desire to be with laios. he had to justify in his own mind that he was worth waking up to every morning. he argued with his mother on the phone about sharing assets with laios, including his car and condo unit. he felt the need to prove to himself that he would be useful to keep around. to him, his love simply wasn’t enough.

on the car ride home, laios starts practicing calling kabru his husband in his head while driving. he feels antsy, especially since they lived a bit far from the city hall; all he wants to do is lie down in bed with kabru and cuddle. meanwhile, kabru is drafting an email on his phone about adding laios to his health insurance.

[elyrch]

Dating Laios Touden Headcanons

a/n: oh the little guy..... i love him very much. also, i considered doing one of the sillier gifs of him, but i decided against it.

this guy's very, very sweet with you. he doesn't wanna hurt you on accident, and he gets that he can be annoying sometimes. it's always best for you to listen to his rambling, since that's how he feels like hes being listened to.

he loooves talking about monsters with you. if you're not able to go in the dungeon, he definitely brings back some cool stuff for you. this includes monster scales, pelts, horns, teeth, skulls, flowers, et cetera. if you want him to get you something specific, tell him! however, he might come back with a few wagons full of whatever you asked for (and chilchuck will have a very long and agitated conversation with you!)

however, if you are able to go to the dungeon, he's absolutely overjoyed yet scared shitless. what if you get hurt?? or eaten by a dragon??? or turned to stone??? this means that most of the time, you have to specifically tell him you want to fight if thats what you want. however, if you do want to fight, it's like a match made in heaven for him. he's so super happy that he can fight alongside you! plus, he'll teach you the best ways to defeat monsters and practice his skills with you.

he's quite cuddly, too. he hugs you, holds your hand, plays with your hair, lays on you to sleep, etc etc. he just can't ever get enough of you, and always likes to at least be near you! if you're uncomfortable with cuddling, hes okay with sitting with you and talking about monsters and stuff. he's very considerate!

he's probably the type to watch you sleep 💀 not even in a creepy way, he just likes seeing how peaceful you are and listening to the slow beat of your heart.

if you have a favorite monster to eat from, he'll do his best to hunt down a lot of them. may god help the ecosystem, since he just took out half of that monsters population so you can have good food.

it's absolutely imperative that you get along with the rest of the party. mainly falin, sure, but if laios sees you being unnecessarily rude to a member for whatever reason he'll be very put off by it, since these people are important to him.

overall 10/10 very sweet dungeon man

thank you very much for reading!

[sien-ten]

Kabru X Laios post-finale headcanons, because Tumblr decided to shower me with content about them

Kabru said "you guys can't build any political connections with elves without me " and stayed as a royal advisor, which surprised Laios big time (he was sure that after fulfilling his promise Kabru would lead his party somewhere else)

Laios turned out to be well-mannered when necessary, so following court etiquette wasn't too hard for him – Kabru felt deep annoyance every time his king greeted or complimented anyone in such a royal manner, until he learned that Laios' trademark airhead behaviour now showed up only when he's with someone he trusts (family, friends... and him)

Kabru warmed up to Laios significantly in a first year of them rebuilding kingdom, they both were stressed to no end, but the more situations they've got to solve together, the more Kabru trusted Laios (even if he doesn't like to admit it)

Laios had to send Falin off to their parents to rest and heal a bit, since at first kingdom was very much unstable (Marcille accompanied her); after his party departured, he felt pretty much very lonely, so he had a lot of time on his hands to contemplate, why he's so gravitated towards Kabru all the time; he vented to Senshi about some of his thoughts and got advised to try courting his advisor – it was later registered as one of the first crisises that kingdom faced since Winged Lion's departure (Kabru was so oblivious that Laios nearly ended his reign)

Kabru and Laios started seeing each other officially only after Falin and Marcille returned – because of Senshi's panicked letters they've brought Chilchuck, who properly scolded the King and set the pair for a nice dinner (yes, Laios hasn't tried that one before)

Laios never experienced romantic relationship before, so a lot of things hit him like a truck – to Kabru's grief, his lover still was too honest of a man, so if Laios though that Kabru looks extra handsome today, everyone in courtroom would know that (exactly because of that Marcille had to take over courtroom proceedings, they couldn't have Laios distracted and guests giggling)

Kabru and Marcille became good friends really suddenly, but they had too much in common not to: elven mothers, grievances about mortality, Touden partners; they made a tradition of having a private chat throughout the day, even if they had meals with everyone all the time (king's order), having their own space to unwind felt good (Falin told Laios about these meetings/tea parties and forbid him to disturb them)

They enjoy to spar on swords and read to each other; sometimes they would stroll through the forest together and look for ruins

On one of Laios's birthday Kabru learned how to cook monster barbecue imitation as a gift (it was a struggle), and Laios was overjoyed (it didn't taste like monster at all, but the thought is more important)

[ambrosialdesire]

hedonic

18+ DARK CONTENT BELOW, MINORS + BLANK BLOGS DNI

pairing: laios x fem!monster reader word count: 5k warnings + tags: general yandere and/or dark themes, kinda gory descriptions, cannibalistic ideas/thoughts/temptations, probably ooc laios, delusional ideas, monster reader w/ large breasts (i mean, it comes with the kind of monster she is tbh but this is the only physical descriptor of the reader), brief bodily mutilation + removal mention, breast milk consumption, accidental peeping (?), breast fixation, blood kink kinda, biting mention, all characters are 18+ synopsis: he's always been the type with an insatiable appetite when it comes to any monsters, but he promised to never ever eat any demi-humans when it comes down to it. the temptation when it comes to you has became irresistible to try and ignore. a/n: in request of 🌷 anon and my fueled want for laios, i have made my first dungeon meshi/delicious in dungeon yan fic! i decided to do it in laios pov cause i feel it'll make for an interesting perspective. not really nsfw this time around lol since i'm still new and keeping up with the anime and learning about the characters SO IM ONLY CAUGHT UP ANIME-WISE OK LOL AND THE MONSTER I'M USING FOR THE READER ARE CONSCIOUS BEASTS THAT CAN COMMUNICATE AND SHIT LIKE THAT CAUSE IT'S SO VAGUE ON THE WIKI 😭😭 also i'm making shit up as i go okay so anything food related is like entirely made-up 💀 AND YEAH I MADE IT ABOUT BREAST MILK OKAY LMFAOOO tbh i've always wanted to try a dnd-related game but literally have no where to start (ik there's baldur's gate but i am a broke full-time student lol) hope y'all enjoy and hope i can make some more of laios cause he's so 🏃‍♀️💨💨 note: please keep in mind of the tags above and do not proceed if triggering or uncomfortable, especially if you are a minor!! do not read my or any other writers' dark content if you are underaged. this is a fictional work and does not reflect irl morals, do not believe this is how a real romance works or functions.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ.───

Laios made a promise to never consume a demi-human, no matter the circumstances. It made sense, they were on the cusp of something that was human but not. They could have similar features like the races they respectively belonged to, could bleed red and have had a beating heart, yet in the end, they were still a monster inside and out. Morally or ethically — whichever which belonged to which — according to Chilchuck, it was still wrong to try and consume them.

He understood that completely once it got explained and stuck into his head, but then you came into question.

When you came into Laios's party during the search for his sister, you were almost attacked from how you meekly approached the small group in one of the dungeon’s levels. They were right to be cautious of course, many human-like monsters had previously attacked them when their guard was down, but once they realized you genuinely meant no harm, they let you join in. Marcille was overjoyed that another girl had joined the party, though both Laios and Chilchuck had their valid doubts about you. Senshi didn't really mind, long as you could pull your own weight and never tried to attack them.

Were you trying to play the long game? Did it make them taste better when you waited to strike? Were you eyeing your pick in the group? Senshi and him both have a lot of meat on their person, Chilchuck was definitely the least desirable since he was so small and had less meat on his body; to be honest, Marcille was in a similar boat as him too.

Food-wise, you ate whatever Senshi made with a happy smile, not even being deterred once from having to eat something that was considered to be closely related to you. He wondered if it was something you were used to, something that you had to be doing in order to survive down here. Then, if it came to other parties that came before them and being forced to defend yourself, did you ever had to... consume them?

Laios hoped it never had to occur, but he couldn't blame you if you had no other choice. He could imagine you being trapped for days before your kind could get to you, maybe one or two bodies from an adventuring party were with you from a previous scuffle and the pangs of hunger were getting to you. The thought of the remaining party members finding the torn apart limbs and strewn, chewed on bones surrounding a bloody starving monster made his stomach flip and a shiver go down his spine. Maybe it's because that's how he last remembered Falin right before she teleported them out of the dungeon, her midst of her body trapped in the toothy maw of that Red Dragon.

Because of this now since your alliance with them combined with the many questions in his head about your diet, there was one that he can't quite get rid of, no matter how much he tried.

What did a human taste like to a monster?

It's been a few weeks since they've ventured in the dungeon and Laios still had some doubts with your intentions for joining. A monster is a monster and cannot be trusted no matter what, but you didn't cause trouble or held them back from their search so he let you be... for now at least. He'd be a hypocrite for not letting you stay since he's been keeping Kensuke around, but it's only temporary and it can't really harm him without the other parts of the Living Armor. You're a moving... person? Half of one. Actually more a third-fourth of one? He doesn't quite know but still rather fascinated by your existence.

You were similar to them in conscious thought and speech, as well as appearance-wise. Well, appearance-wise, you definitely weren't human. Small, bilateral curved horns made their home on the sides of your head, floppy brown ears swung around with every step you took, a long bovine tail whipped around the bottom of your legs, and finally, your legs were curved into two thick cow-like stumps with hooves at the end as a replacement of feet. Minotaur, or that's what you said what you were, though you were smaller than those massive farm animal adjacent beasts, about a few inches taller than Marcille.

And not to sound like a perv or anything remotely similar to that, but you didn't really have udders either, unless your more than well-endowed breasts compensated for the lack thereof.

"Ow! Laios!" He snapped out of his thoughts, looking down at his metal shoe and seeing the fluffy end of your tail on the bottom of it.

"Oh, sorry." Slowly, he lifted his foot off of it, the appendage whipping around and twitching. It wrapped around your waist, almost completely hidden as a fuzzy brown and white belt.

"It's bad to get distracted here, are you hungry? Thirsty? I have some bread and milk in the pack if you want to snack on it." As you walked on forwards, you pulled the bag off of your shoulders and began to rummage through it with one hand. You finally found what you were looking for, handing it over to him without hesitation, slinging your bag back where it belonged. He stared at the milk as he chewed on the bread, the texture soft and light with each bite.

Did... did this come from you? You mentioned to them before in the beginning stages of joining that they can drink your milk if they needed to, but the horrified looks of both the elven mage and the Half-foot locksmith prevented you from trying any further. Both him and Senshi was of course curious, Minotaur milk was both difficult to come across and retrieve, but the two told the dwarf that they absolutely refused to eat anything that he cooked if it came from your body.

"Gross, don't tell me that came from you Y/N." Chilchuck grimaced as he walked on by and you shook your head.

"No! Of course not. I know you people humans are a little weird but I wouldn't give something that came from me without telling you. It's just cow milk, er... not from me." Laios felt a little disappointed as he opened the top of the bottle, wondering if it tasted different from normal cow's milk. According to the Dungeon Gourmet Guide, Minotaur milk was thicker and sweeter compared to the average cattle's; then again, this precious book of his wasn't really that accurate unfortunately.

What about your flesh?

He came to a sudden standstill, almost causing Marcille to bump into him.

"If you're gonna stop out of nowhere, at least move to the side Laios!" She grumbled, moving past him as he stood there in confusion. What was he thinking? Why would he even go so far as to think that? He started moving again, carefully watching you click on forwards. His mind began to wander at the thought again, which parts of you would be edible?

Your legs definitely, there's so much muscle built upon you there. He'd seen you strike down stone pillars and enemies in a single blow without even flinching. Maybe even your thin tail, could be tough and stringy though. Your ears would take a while to feast upon, cartilaginous but still a good source of protein. Horns are a no-go, too small and were most likely hollower than meaty. Cow hooves are a delicacy in some parts of the world, so it was possible that yours were consumable too.

Would the "human" parts of you count? You hadn't revealed if you were full or half-monster, maybe even if you were cursed, so it was hard to truly determine what you were. If you were a full monster, that meant that every bit and piece of you was edible meat.

Meat.

Meat.

Meat.

"Laios, you’re drooling! I can hear your stomach rumbling too," Your giggling voice rang clearly in his mind, his gaze snapping downwards as he wiped his mouth quickly. "I have more bread if you want."

"No, no. It's better if we stop now and make something more nutritionally beneficial to continue forwards," Senshi stopped with the two of you, turning his head around to find a suitable room for cooking. "Think I still have some of those Harpy eggs and Kelpie flesh, would you two be so kind to try and find some more ingredients on this floor? Any vegetation would do this meal some good."

And here the two of you were, walking around the floor's grounds to spot for anything of use. It was almost completely quiet minus the shifting of his armor and the clicks of your hooves echoing throughout the stone hallway, reducing that awkward silence just a little. Your weapon, a sharpened scythe, swung around on your back as if you were a cow grim reaper; the thought of a cow dressed up in a black robe with a menacing skull mask made him chuckle in his head a little.

"Oh! Up ahead, I see something leafy." The hoof-clicking went faster as you picked up your pace, ducking your head from the fallen wooden structures that were in the way. Compared to the average Minotaur, you moved and reacted quicker, most likely because of your smaller stature and having a little less muscle in your body to heave around. That could make you vulnerable on the other hand, having less muscle everywhere else minus your legs meant diminished strength and being unable to defeat enemies in a more timely manner. Interesting.

"Laios, do you think this enough for all five of us?" You shuffled out of the crevice in a huff with bundles of thick purple, triangular leaves in your arms and he took a pinch from one of the leaves, inspecting it before placing it in his mouth. He winced, his face contorting to a pucker as you laughed at his expression. Dungeon oxalis, edible but strongly tasted similarly to citrus.

"We could work with it, could make up for lemons since they're pretty sour. Here, place it in your bag and we can search for other things." You nodded after wiping your eyes from your boisterous laughter, following his instructions and getting back up from the ground.

You dusted yourself off before picking the bag back up, smiling at him as the two of you began to move deeper into the dungeon. "I hope we find some Night Lucernes but I think since we're already so low underground, it's getting more unlikely they can grow here."

"Oh we can't eat those, they make us sluggish and gives us stomach cramps for weeks."

Blinking at him, you tilted your head in confusion. He never noticed how long your eyelashes were, is that common in your kind? "Really? They're like vitamins for me or was it something about the blood—"

"Why are you not like the other Minotaurs?"

"Huh?" The question was out of the blue, interrupting her talking as the two of you had stopped in the middle of the hallway, eyes locked with one another.

"Why are you not like the other Minotaurs?" Laios repeated, not skipping a beat and leaning down closer to you. "You're not massively built, you don't have a cow's head, you don't have large horns. You don't strictly eat vegetation, is it even good for you to eat monster meat so often? There's so very few things that are Minotaur-like on you, are you really one of their kind?"

Your eyelids fluttered in shock, each question wrapping around your brain before you leaned away from him, scratching the back of your neck. "Well... I-I don't really know why myself."

"...What?"

"Uh yeah. One day, when I was still young, I woke up in this dungeon alone without a single memory in my mind. I don't even remember who named me either, but I vaguely remember being told that I'm a Minotaur. Maybe it's the Mad Mage's fault but I'm sorry Laios, I really can't explain why I'm not more like them."

Did that even satisfy his question on whether you were edible as a Minotaur or not?

"I do know is that I am a monster," You put a hand over where your heart is, clenching it tightly into a fist. "I ain't like you people humans and I'm sure not like those other animal humans you coexist with, so I am nothing but a monster. I may look a little different from my kind but inside and out, I have the Minotaur’s blood in me. And the strictly herbivore thing isn't really true, I can eat meat if I have no other choice to, it's not all that bad though. Doesn't really freak me out and I'm always grateful to have the opportunity to eat a good meal."

"So have you eaten other adventurers before meeting us? I won't judge, I'm genuinely curious and I won't tell the others if you have."

You froze, eyes casting downwards suddenly as your fists gripped onto the coat you wore. "I... I don't really want to talk about it Laios, sorry. I'll answer your other questions but some things are better left off unsaid, okay? Please respect that."

His lips were pulled into a thin line, the nagging voice in his head still ever curious on whether you've eaten human before, but you really did seem uncomfortable talking about the topic. "Sorry."

He then put a hand under his chin, thinking about what you've said previously slowly. Inside and out... Does that mean you are edible? I mean, you basically said it yourself, despite you being more on the human-appearance spectrum of monsters. Then again, they met more human-like monsters like the Harpies and the Dryads, and they've eaten them before! (Well... sorta.) The mermen were edible too (despite Chilchuck stopping him from taking more of the parts), so that means—

"Can I drink your milk then?"

"Wha— H-huh?!" The apples of your cheeks glowed a dark shade of red, but his gaze remained determined, sparkling in excitement even.

"You offered it before, didn't you? Chilchuck and Marcille aren't here so they won't judge us and I've been curious since my book said that it's different from normal cow's milk." You looked around, even peeking behind him, before sighing and bashfully pouting.

"I did! I know I did! But, I have to make it fresh since I threw out the ones I had on hand a week ago and I don't have any on my person right now so..."

"It's okay, I can wait." He bluntly replied, oblivious to your wording. Laios just wanted a little taste, nothing more and nothing less.

You mumbled something under your breath, his ears catching a few words of him being 'too eager' and 'quick to answer'. Was he? He was just answering your question honestly, and he’s been ever so curious about it ever since you’ve offered it before.

"Let me find a room, just wait outside for a bit."

You were flushed, clicking away to find a place to hide out so you could produce what he wanted. Of course he followed shortly after you left, staying outside just like you told him to and it would serve as extra security. If Minotaur milk tasted as good as they say, he might just keep asking you for it when some certain party members aren't nearby. Hell, he might even be able to sneak some to Senshi since he's been curious about it too! It's only right to share a magnificent discovery to the best monster chef. Actually, he might be the only monster chef he knew but he was still the best by default.

He waited.

And waited.

And waited…

Laios started to sit down next to the door due to how long you were taking to produce a small bottle. Was it difficult to get milk out of the body by yourself? He had to ask about that too since he’s only seen male Minotaurs depicted in his book; there was nothing but a small and vague paragraph that explained about the female Minotaurs, but it was mostly about their milk.

He closed his eyes, leaning his head against the stone wall. You really were a strange individual, someone that he can’t quite understand. Your very being makes his mouth salivate whenever he thinks about you as a next meal, even if it shouldn’t. Was it because all they’ve been eating has been monster-related? His strange fixation on trying them was slowly being satiated with every step down the dungeon, so he chalked it up to just being morbidly curious.

It has to be that reason, it must be, because what kind of sick individual constantly thinks about consuming his friend?

Opening back his eyes, he took another quick glance at the wooden door. Laios was extremely curious on how the whole process worked, if you really had extra udders or if the hidden parts of your body were furry or skin. Plus, you really were taking a long time, one of the three were bound to come over soon and he wouldn't be able to try the milk! Actually... you know what? What if you had gotten attacked in there by a whole group of Mimics?! Or any other monster group, like the ghosts! You were strong but you can’t take all of them at once, and monsters aren't able to revive here. Wait...

Monsters don’t revive here.

He scrambled up on his feet at the realization, quickly knocking on the door, the sound of stumbling and thuds causing him to immediately panic and start pushing it open.

"Are you oka—" Laios froze, his eyes widening.

Your eyes were wide open as well, mouth partially parted open in dumbfounded shock. At least you looked okay and it seemed there wasn't any harmful enemies around, just some old furniture that had fallen over. It's weird though. There you sat on the ground in the midst of the mess, one arm covering your bare chest while the other was holding a partially filled glass. He stood there in puzzlement as your face grew redder by the second, placing the glass down slowly before reaching for your weapon that was right next to you.

Oh.

Oh...

OH!

"LAIOS!!!"

"I'M SO SORRY!!!" He slammed the door back shut as the scythe made its way towards his head, the sharp blade slicing through the old wood, the tip just barely missing his nose. His heart pounded against the metal chest plate like a beating drum, his lungs completely drained of all air. He began to kneel on the ground for some support since his legs started to give out from the revelation. His body was burning up, like he just got lit on fire from the Red Dragon or was a little too close to one of Marcille's explosion spells.

He just saw you naked. Not completely, but still, he just saw your breasts. He was used to and never cared about seeing others nude or topless, whether they be male or female — monster or not — it's just parts but seeing you?

Despite being here for most of your life, the skin from what he saw was quite smooth and rather mostly unblemished. It's like scars weren't able to attach onto the surface, as if they weren't allowed to. And the curvature of your heavy breasts, the noticeable suppleness of both when you moved and inadvertently squeezed them with your arm. They weren't udders at all either like he thought they were, they were undeniably humanlike, no fur included. He imagined biting into them, wondering if it'll be easy to sink his teeth into the squishy fat while he sucked on both the spilling blood and milk, thinking about the mix of sweetness and tangy that'll occur if he did. He'd be especially lucky to leave any mark on your pristine skin during the process, his body tingling at the idea of being the only one — the only human — to permanently leave something behind.

Laios couldn't stop salivating, a hand over his mouth to prevent him from drooling all over himself. He's shaking, why was he shaking? Was it from the fear of these unstoppable thoughts of his? Because of the leaf he ate not a moment ago? No. It's because of these recent developments and the answers he was getting from them, he was becoming... excited.

What the fuck was wrong with him?

‘•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’

The door finally creaked open, a small glass bottle being pushed towards him from the barely ajar entrance. He looked up to where your head would be, your eyes nervously staring down to the side. You started to apologize in a soft mumble as you slowly revealed yourself, now completely dressed.

"Sorry for throwing my weapon at you earlier, but this is all I can give right now. If I had eaten Night Lucernes prior, it would've been better quality. Um... enjoy I guess?"

"Thank you for the drink." Laios smiled and took the bottle in his hands, staring at the liquid. It was warm, which was expected since it just came out of your body, and it wasn't fully white like he thought it would be, the color just had the faintest tinge of yellow that could be missed if he wasn't looking close enough. He took the glass's edge to his lips and finally, he took a small swig of it.

Sweet, precisely as he thought it would be, but not as overtly strong to make him sick or give him an immediate cavity. The book was right to say that it was thick, almost similar to a honey-like consistency but still light enough to not choke at the heavy feeling of it go down his throat. He didn't realize that he quickly drank all of it at once, his tongue running across his lips to catch any remaining liquid left. You said that this wasn't the best quality, but he couldn't imagine it being any better than what he just drank.

"That was..." Laios paused, smacking his lips to try and remember the taste once more. Your face slightly fell, eyebrows worriedly scrunching together. "Amazing!"

"R-really?" The slightly-afraid look melted off in relief, your eyes glowing in happiness. "No one ever said that it tasted amazing before... Actually, no one actually tried it before except you Laios."

He... he was the first one that tried your milk? The fleeting thoughts he had prior ran through his mind again, his cheeks flushing a slight pink. If he really was the first one that drank something of yours... then it's only right that it would be specially reserved for him right? It's really selfish of him to keep this amazing beverage from his dear party, but something like this should be cherished by the one that adores you the most.

He quickly grabbed your hands, holding them up as he squeezed them tightly in excitement. "Can I have more later? I won't tell our party, it'll be our little secret exchange between the two of us."

Laios watched your expression turned from complete shock to shy awe, your tail twitching around and thumping against your legs. You were silent for a bit before looking up at him, a determined glint in your eyes. "W-what's in it for me? I can't just be the only one giving you something.

Shit. That was fair of you to bring up but him as a normal Tall-man, there was very little he could give you in return for your breast milk. "What would you want from me anyway?"

His mind immediately went into the gutter: you wanted to eat something off of him. It could be considered a fair exchange, consumable body part for consumable bodily fluid. Maybe you were getting tired of eating monsters, needing your actual nutrition from people. He started to get nervous, what would he be able to give you from his body? Would a finger satiate you or would you need something larger? Laios can't really give up his arms or legs, he'd need them in order to get through the dungeon and save Falin. Tongue was completely out of the question, he can't imagine not being able to taste food in both normal and monster dishes.

The idea of giving you his dick to consume suddenly popped up in his mind, the thought of trying to cut it off caused him to pale. He didn't use it much compared to his other body parts, only needing it to use to take a leak; he wasn't really the sexually active type either, being able to count the partners he previously had on only one hand. Technically and hesitantly, that would be the only large body part that he can give up for you.

Briefly, he imagined how'd you eat it. You weren't an messy eater when it came to Senshi's food — despite having to learn how to use utensils but still preferring to make use of your hands — so you'd probably be as neat as possible with it. You'd eat it raw, as soon as he managed to slice it off his person, warm crimson slipping down your fingers as you bite down through the layers of skin and muscle.

Or there was the possibility that you wanted to take it off yourself, kneeling right down in-between his legs, hands slowly sliding up his thighs to his hips as you approached his lower half. He'd be forced to watch you take his soft cock into your mouth, probably struggling if he accidentally got hard during the process. The last thing that Laios would feel would be your mouth's warmth wrapping around it before chomping down.

A shiver went down his spine, though it didn't feel as horrid as it was supposed to be.

With your big lashed eyes, you slowly blinked once more as a small smile grew on your lips. "Knowledge. I want to learn about the outside world. I've never left the dungeon before, all the adventurers that came before your party prevented me from ever trying."

Oh... That's actually not a bad exchange request, simple in nature. At least he gets to keep his junk, despite his heart still pounding from what his fucked-up mind just mustered up.

"Okay deal. I'll teach you about my world in exchange for milk." He put out his hand, letting you reach out and shake it. Your eyes relaxed as you smiled warmly up at him, finally letting him go. Laios then went over and patted your head, rubbing the top gently. You stiffened lightly at the gesture, his fingers brushing over the horns. They were smooth with faint ring-like indentations, almost an ivory-creamy color. Truly a fascinating feeling.

"There you guys are! You've been gone for so long that we were starting to get worried." Marcille. You batted his hand off of your head quickly, turned around with a tautly-pulled grin towards the elven girl.

"Must've lost track of time finding what Senshi wanted, sorry about the wait. You guys must be starving by now." The two of you started to chat walking back to the temporary camp, Laios watching and following from behind. You pulled out the oxalis in your bag to show her, a proud expression beaming off your face as you brought up his face when he first tried it. His stomach twisted, his hand resting on the top of his armor-covered abdomen.

There were very few monsters he found cute, most being out-of-this-world frightening to gaze upon, but you truly were one of the cuter ones around. He felt hungry again as your hips swayed from side to side, tail flicking around. He brushed the fingers that he touched your horns with against his lips, reminiscing on the texture. How sensitive were they? You did go rigid when he brushed against them, but it could be just from the shock.

Saliva was building up in his mouth again, and he could only harshly swallow back the feeling.

Deplorable he was with this appetite, the desire to consume you piece by piece. Would you accept that as one of your final fates? Rather than being killed and left behind with little to no chance of being revived, he'd pick up every raw part of you and eat it, savoring each bite in respect for what you've sacrificed to help him find his sister. Laios would try to bring the inedible bits of you with him — bones, teeth, horns, nails, hooves, hair — for the rest of this dungeon's journey and back into his world. Your wish would be granted, despite not being able to fully witness it yourself; you might even thank him for that bit of kindness too.

This thing the two of you had was special, unbeknownst to the others. A friendship that couldn't be understood by the other members of the party, but was completely comprehensible to only you and him. Symbiotic, just almost mutualistic. A love of one's flesh in exchange for the love of another's world.

Love.

Though Laios has expressed his heavy interest and passion in monsters, he never had said he loved them. Most were mindlessly dangerous, no matter how small or large they were, acting on base instinct. Yet, you were different. In fact, he could say that you were the opposite of him. Instead of being grouped together with your fellow monster-kind, you were more interested in being around outsiders. Different sides of the same golden coin.

A realization hit him, his eyes widening. The strange feelings in his body, the perverse, obsessive fantasies he's been having about you... It could only mean that he—

"Jeez Laios, you've been spacing out all day. Are you okay?"

He snapped out of it, staring at the concerned looks of both you and Marcille. Laios only smiled, his golden eyes focused completely on your form. Both your ear and tail tip was twitching, flicking in the air as if a fly was nearby.

"I'm just hungry, that's all."

[mocolococoffeesimp]

Hii, can I request laios (dungeon meshi) relationship headcanons please? Ty!

Ye shall receive, anon!

-Laios being Laios, is extremely dense and blunt when it comes to relationships. He wouldn't even get it, when you flirt with him. Even, if you were being open about it. Everyone else, but him got the hint. Even, when you two were on date he didn't realize it. You had to sit him down, to have the talk about dating. He just had thought you were really good friends. Holding hands, you calling him nicknames.

-Laios gets easily excited about things he likes. Monsters, dogs to mention few. Especially, monsters. He wants you to taste monsters, even if its odd. To him, it is a normal thing. So, he doesn't mention what he is cooking, if you don't ask. Not, because he wants to try to trick you... He is just dense, that he forgets not everyone is accepting eating monsters. But, when you do actually like the food, he will go on a lengthy talk about how he cooked it and what else monsters you two could cook.

-Laios would be delighted, if you wanted to explore the dungeon with him. He enjoys exploring the dungeons, so if you were exploring with his squad he would be overjoyed. He would be protective of you. He doesn't think you can't defend yourself, if anything he would love to see you protecting yourself and others. Protective in the sense, making sure you're fine and not overworking yourself.

-You have to often listen to Laios, info-dump on you. But, it is endearing. As he is sharing his interests, with someone that doesn't think his interests are odd. This does mean, whenever he learns something new about monsters, he wants to share it with you. To add to this, he shares his monster guide with you. He does hope, some of his enthusiasm for monsters will rub on you. If, you start to add notes on his monster guide he will be overjoyed. Finally being able to have a conversation about monsters, with someone other than Senshi and Falin.

-Laios wants to teach you how to handle a sword. He would be patient with you about it... But, he doesn't know how to teach about it. He knows how to handle a sword, but at this point for him its muscle memory. So, its less of Laios teaching you and more of him giving pointers, as you swing the sword around. If, you do know how to handle a sword, Laios would start practicing with you using wooden swords. It was good way for you two, to get closer and to workout.

-Laios has a small wardrobe. He has only few clothes, one casual pair and one more formal. So, when you bring this up with him you have to go clothes shopping with him. Nothing extreme, just some more clothes for him to choose from. He thought, it would be cute to have matching clothes. So, he does just that and got matching pairs of clothing.

-Laios loves to snack, like a lot. He will have snacks on him all the time. Not to mention, he likes to make his own snacks. From monster bits to actual baking materials. He just likes to cook. So, he will share his snacks with you. He tries to keep it a reasonable, so when the mealtime comes around you two will be hungry. Although, sometimes you can't help yourself but snack on them and feed them to Laios.

-Laios doesn't really get how he is supposed to act in a relationship. So, his guide is Marcille... Whose knowledge largely bases on her reading romance books. So, Laios at first tries the most romantic stuff, flower, chocolate and the usual romantic gestures. Once, you told him you appreciated the gesture, but would prefer him to try his own romantic ideas. So, that led to him bringing you monster parts and doing monster mating rituals (I think, that's the right way to put it.) Which, were bit odd. But, it was Laios' who was doing it. So, it was cute either way.

-Laios tries to sing every-now and then. Unfortunately, he can't sing. Not in the smooth velvety way, more of soprano voice. He can reach high notes, which he uses to sing the siren song to flirt with you... Which works. You find it charming, that he sings the song he has practiced for awhile. Even, if everyone else thought he was just wailing.

-Falin and Marcille are important people in his life, so it means a lot to him, if you got along with them. Falin and Marcille are pretty easy to get along at the end of day, but he still stressed out about it prior to you meeting them.

-Laios snores, so you have to turn him to his side in his sleep to make it stop. Only for it to continue a moments later. You get used to it, but others do wonder how you are sleeping with him, when even the monsters avoid his snoring. When you hear Laios counting, satyrs/fauns as opposed to sheep. It was cute and still is.

[cartoonsinthemorning]

I really like your marchil and stancest arts! Do you have any opinions on toudencest (laios x falin)?

Thank you so much! Anon, let's officially connect the suspicious dots, because I ship Toudencest hard, and I do have, in fact, a lot of opinions. Most likely, the unpopular kind. But before I go into my deranged details rant, here, have a sketch.

Ok, let's go! Laios and Falin have the BEST relationship in Dunmeshi. They understand each other like no other does. It was used as a gag, but: the party getting mad at Laios for saying 'hadn't Falin got eaten, they would have never savored the delicious exorcism sorbet'...and Laios thinks to himself Falin would had understood what he meant-- OOHHH that hit my heart so hard!! That scene meant so much to me! It's TRUE. Everyone, even his friends, misunderstand Laios constantly. But Falin would understand him. It's beautiful. It moves me. Another thing that shakes me to the core: Falin is the only one showing genuine excitement about Laios' passions, interests and discoveries. Like, what I mean is, Senshi does share with Laios an interest about making monster's edible, and later on basically everyone in the story gets mind-boggled about how useful Laios' bizarre knowledge can be- BUT! she is the only one that geeks out with him about monsters. And not out of functionality. No, she's genuinely excited about him sharing new knowledge with her. When she's brought back to life and Laios tells her about monster-eating, her first reaction is basically jumping up and down, overjoyed.

And this is so downplayed. How similar they are, in this regard, I mean. Because most people portray Falin as a poised, soft-spoken normal girl, who's got this unhinged monster-fucker as a brother- ahah- and they seem to forget she is HIGHLY weird too, that her interest and methods are VERY unconventional too! Did people miss the flashback episode showing how she did homework in magic school, basically going into wild, forbidden areas to be in direct contact with the creatures living in there, even if it's considered dangerous, almost blasphemous? COME ON, Laios and Falin share the same approach, no wonder they are best friends! People tend to downplay it, I think, because Laios is the one getting gag-worthy reactions from people- getting yelled at, glared at, etc. But in fact, Falin is just as weird as he is. And it's so sweet how that brings them together, even when they are apart... I also think the fandom largely downplays how much of a bro-con Falin is: she was so clingy as a child lmao, but seriously, she was heartbroken when Laios left home without her- and the thing is, you would expect, after she grew up some more and went to study magic, things would change, her priorities would change. BUT NOOOO, no Sir: Laios pops into her life again years later out of the blue and she drops everything to run away with him. GOD that's so ROMANTIC, she is in LOVE, she is down SO BAD for Laios. What would I give for a detailed fan fic about their travels alone together. Sigh. I think I'm gonna end it here because I went well off the rails-- BUT ONE MORE THING!!! When she was a child and she SO PROUDLY bragged how good her brother is at imitating a dog's bark. God. God my heart. her love is so sweet so precious so immaculate so pure. Ok now I'm done for real byeeeee

[pointpilot]

laios and ninoe ship child...whatever...go my scarab...

tidbits under the cut

The child's full name is Bakari Touden!!! Because of Ninoe's cultural background and how naming works, Bakari's real name is actually much longer, but shortened as its easy to refer back to Bakari.

Bakari is a major bookworm and enjoys learning about anything the earth has to offer, this means rummaging through her father's monster encyclopedias and her mother's handwritten magic journals.

It took a lot of convincing for Laios to agree to have a child, he didn't even wanna get married at first but came around to it. Ninoe on the other hand, was very excited to continue both of their legacies in a meaningful and impactful way. Laios would also be lying if he didn't say he wanted to see how their kid would turn out too.

Bakari is adventurous, curious, timid but well spoken. She can be overbearing sometimes when it comes to helping people, but she really does mean well.

Funnily enough, Bakari is terrible at magic. Even though she was taught at a young age by her mother, who published various spell books, just couldn't grasp it. As she got older she began to take magic more seriously after learning how important it was to both sides of her family.

Chilchuck, Marcille and Senshi have all babysat young Bakari! She loved Senshi in particular and how gentle and kind he was, always cooking up something for her whether it be her favorite meals or something new she'd want to try.

Bakari. Loves. Monsters. Maybe its the beastman side of her, but she'll eat any monster any day, just like her parents!

Everyone outside of Laios' circle was surprised he would marry and have a child with a beastman. It was extremely uncommon. Despite that, people were kind, but curious to Bakari about it. Ninoe in particular being so glad she didn't go down the same self-hatred path she once did, embracing the beastman part of her and enjoying herself.

Bakari enjoys when Toshiro visits because she likes to get him outside of his somewhat anti-social bubble, helping him express himself more in fun ways. Toshiro would never say this outright, but he feels like he's befriending Laios all over again, this time with a fresh and understanding mind on the matter.

Falin was overJOYED when she heard that her brother had a child!!! She would nooottt put that baby down...For awhile Bakari thought Falin was her 2nd mom as a baby lol

ANYWHO thanks for reading take some extrasss

[ask-kabru-of-utaya]

Heyo Kabru! What’s it like dating Laois?

correction, being engaged to Laios and.. and it’s amazing, he’s the sweetest , kindest, strongest and most considerate man I’ve ever met and I’m overjoyed I get to spend the rest of my life with him

@askthetoudensiblings

[jillyfoo]

Changeling Encore, Dungeon Meshi Fanfiction [first chapter complete]

Changeling Encore, Dungeon Meshi Fanfiction 

(An excuse to write about Tallchuck so I can finally stop obsessing over him.)

 [What if Laios’ party did not return to normal from the changelings the second night? What if they couldn’t wash off the changeling spores right away? We will also say the 2nd fight with the gargoyles ended without them figuring out how the changeling mushrooms worked. The Mad Mage and Falin’s encounter with the Canaries had left him badly injured. 

Recommend watching all 24 episodes of Dungeon Meshi anime or manga up to 51 beforehand. Alternative story and events to Manga chapters 53-56 and 62.

POV: Tallchuck ]

Izutsumi as a kobold dives into her dumplings and makes them disappear. She is becoming less picky now that she’s part dog. The now tallest member of the party couldn’t taste each individual flavor of the meat as distinctly as when he was a halfling but the savory taste is great regardless. To think the strange mushrooms can change creatures down to the muscles and cells. Chilchuck finishes his meal and feels unsatisfied. Makes sense because a tallman would need to eat a lot more calories than a halfling. At six and a half feet tall he guessed he’s probably three times the weight he was as a halfling. There’s no point worrying about gaining weight and springing traps cause he’s obviously way too heavy already as a tallman. He asks for seconds. The party stops briefly noticing his act making him feel self conscious. Senshi as an elf looks overjoyed and fills his plate with more dumplings. 

“You have grown so much. Please make sure to eat your fill.” He said in a sweet feminine, yet to Chilchuck, also unnerving voice.

“Hey. I want some too.” Laios protests. Laios as a plump dwarf would probably eat the same amount as his normal tallman form, Chilchuck figured.

“You can have mine. I’m already full.” Marcille, now a tiny halfling, gives her leftovers to Laios. Chilchuck continues to eat, agitated that he is being stared at by everyone in the party. He’s not used to standing out. He sighs. “So as I am now it looks like I can’t do my job properly anymore. Marcille, I am going to have to guide you though disabling step traps as we encounter them.”

Laios buds in. “You’re right Chilchuck. I was thinking that we will have to reassign our roles in the party until we get our normal bodies back. I’m going to teach you some close combat.”

“I can also teach you magic!” Marcille piped in. Damn it, Chilchuck thought. He had hoped they would forget about their last battle debacle.

“Hey, that’s too much at once!” He pointed at Senshi. “You should teach the elf magic!” Senshi drops the pot he was cleaning. The elf’s arms curled into his delicate chest. He stammers.

“You know how I feel about magic. I.. I don’t feel comfortable with it at all. I’m not… you all may have changed, but I’m still the same on the inside.” He pleads to them with tearful, innocent doe eyes. Everyone could not help but leer at him in disbelief. Laios the ever present optimist breaks the silence.

“We are going to have to adapt as best as we can. Let’s for now clean up the dishware and then look over our inventory to see what weapons will work best in our new bodies.”

Not too long after cleaning up, Chilchuck looked over all the weapons in his possession. Throwing knives. That could work, but will run out if they can’t be recovered. Blade knife and bowie knife. He knew Laios would say that because of the aggro his large form will receive in combat, longer blades such as swords would work better. Knives are meant for surprise stabs like Kabru’s attack on Falin as a chimera. Lastly, the bow. He won’t be able to use it. His hand practically enveloped it. It looks like a child’s- Oh hell no! All his adult life he’s been working to not be seen as a kid from the other races! How dare that creep into his head now that he’s been tallman for just a few hours!

“Lights out.” Senshi calls to him from behind. The beastly dwarf turned into a paper thin shadow of himself struggles to drag his ax to him. “Borrow this and protect us.” Senshi gazes up at him like a princess at her champion. A breeze seemed to be coming from somewhere blowing his long black curly locks. Willing to do anything to get out of this awkward moment Chilchuck reluctantly accepts the gift. There’s no way I can fight with this shoddy thing.

Seeing that there was little else to do, Chilchuck undoned Laios’ borrowed armor and settled into his blankets to sleep. Thankfully Izutsumi seems to be bothering someone else tonight. Everything sounds so calm and quiet as he drifts off.

“Chilchuck!”

“Wha!” The tallman startles awake. “Laios… lights out.” Chilchuck growls.

“Oh that’s no problem for me. I can see in the dark now that I’m a dwarf.” Laios laughs obnoxiously.

“Go to bed, Laios!” Marcille calls out from the darkness, obviously annoyed. Laios tones down into a whisper. 

“So I was thinking about what can be used to aid you fight and I remembered that when I started out fighting monsters I used a shield. That should distract the monsters while the rest of us take it down. I recovered my old shield from the floor we first fought the dragon in and I’ll let you have it. I don’t know if we will have much time to practice-”

“I can still hear you, Laios! Shut up and go to sleep already!”

“I’m sorry! Marcille!” Laios sets down his shield next to him. “I will leave this here for you. Everything is going to be fine. We will make it work.”, he reassures Chilchuck in a cheery tone.

A worry seed plants firmly in Chilchuck’s mind. He had very little direct combat experience. Heck Kabru and his party had way more experience than him and how many times did his party find them dead these past few days? It’s gonna be the mimics all over again except Marcille can’t revive anymore cause she’s a halfling. Nothing good will come of this.

The next morning fully geared up Chilchuck holds the ax and the shield up for Laios.

“This ax is meant for two hands.” Chilchuck tries to use any excuse not to take up a new responsibility. Laios comes up to him, handing him his sword.

“Then let’s switch. I’ll take the ax.” Chilchuck hesitates knowing that there is a monster inside the handle to that sword. It had transformed from the changelings too, becoming a kitsch looking skull and bat wings sword. A light emits from the edge of the blade. 

A question emerged in his thoughts, Don’t you want to fight monsters head on too? 

No. I don’t.

On the other side of the camp, Marcille draws a heat spell inscription on the stone floor while Izutsumi and Senshi watch. Izutsumi pokes her head into the spell inscription, sniffing the charcoal lines with her big dog nose.

“Izutsumi move. This is going to get hot.” Little halfling Marcille pushes the giant dog girl away as best she can. She looks up to Senshi. “See I already drew the spell. Elves naturally have a lot of mana. All I need for you to do is tap it here with my staff and channel the energy of fire.”

Senshi glumly takes the staff. 

“Well if it’s to make tea…” He taps it. The lines turn red and fire erupts from it sending sparks everywhere. The three scream out and bolt away.

“What do you think you’re doing!? That was too strong!” Izutsumi yells. Laios attention turns over to them and heads over. While he’s distracted this is a good opportunity to inspect the sword. Chilchuck searched through the gaps in the hilt to find tiny changeling mushrooms growing inside. Disgusting. He will probably need to check his clothing and person to make sure there aren't more of them. For only a moment a gooey creature with snail eyes peeks out at him and sinks back into the sword.

“There you are, you little bastard.” It’s time to get rid of this nonsense before someone gets hurt.  Chilchuck takes out a matchstick and lights under the area where the monster was hidden. The spores burn easily causing the living armor monster to push out in an attempt to escape. The flame causes the slimy surface of the creature to boil. Its eyes dissolve into its body as it cooks. He knew it was just an unintelligent monster, but it seems to curse him as it shrivels up. You’re not immune. Suddenly Chilchuck falls over from being tackled from behind.

“Stop! What are you doing to Kensuke?!” Laios yells. The dwarf seizes back his sword and holds it like a baby. “Kensuke, are you still there? Kensuke!” he cries.

“I’m killing it for your own good! You should have done that ages ago!”

“But he helped us get through the door…” Laios sniffs. Marcille steps in.

“Laios, having that monster around was nagging at me too. You can’t keep it forever.” 

“Listen to your elders, Laios.” Senshi said in support. Thank god the rest of the party understands reason. Laios pauses and lifts the sword up in a moment of introspection. Chilchuck could not confirm if he had fully killed the monster. Laios gets up and addresses him solemnly.

“Understood Mr. Chilchuck, sir. It won’t happen again.”

That’s new. He had never had Laios behave that formally to him. Laios did not give the sword back to him, meaning the bug was probably still alive, but whatever. It’s damaged enough that it won’t be moving or peeking out for the rest of the time they are here.

They continue on to an enclosed castle wall level with multiple passage ways. There’s no monster encounters for several hours. Chilchuck anticipates his lack of senses getting in the way of moving past this level. Everyone feels tired and hungry. Laios suggests everyone to take a break to discuss what to do next.

“Something’s different. We have made no progress since going through the door. What has changed? ” Laios asks.

“I have read about dungeons that are an endless, empty maze instead of environments full of monsters. Maybe the Mad Mage changed his strategy? We got so far down here by eating monsters to sustain us. Something must have happened to scare him enough to change from offense to defense. ” suggests Marcille.

“What a cheap trick. He intends to starve us.” Izutsumi adds.

“That is a shame. I was hoping to see what monsters would be at the lowest level… What are we going to eat-!” Laios eyes widen and he points to Senshi’s head. It had changeling mushrooms growing out of it. The group scrambles away from him. Senshi picks one from the top of his head.

“Check yourselves and put every mushroom you find in the pot. I suppose we will have to make due with this.” he says.

Turned out there were mushrooms growing all over. Inside their bags. Behind their ears. The less than savvy areas the mushrooms were found were burned in the fireplace. Izutsumi rolls on her side inspecting herself in bent poses only a cat-dog beastling can do.

“Gross! Gross! Gross!”, she growls.

Senshi wet down the mushrooms and cut them. He boils the water in a pot, adds dry merman seaweed, salt and the mushrooms. The changeling mushroom miso soup went down good enough, but it was eaten more out of desperation than anything. Laios smiles cheerfully to lighten the situation.

“I should have saved Kensuke for this soup. He could have tasted pretty good with it. I apologize for not stating my intentions sooner.” 

Wanting to clear the air, Chilchuck admits to Laios, “I overstepped my boundaries. I am hired to disable traps and find the quickest, safest passage. Not destroy whatever treasures you find, living or nonliving.” It’s not in my contract to do close combat too unless it's absolutely necessary, but this dungeon dive has had many deviations from the norm. 

“If you did bring that living armor monster back to the surface, what would you have done with it? Have it as a pet?” Marcille smirks.

“Well since everyone thinks living armor is a spell, it would be a huge discovery. I could have put it in a monster scholar laboratory to see how it works and published a paper about it. I’m not good at writing so either you or Farlin would have to proofread and edit.” Laios explains to her. Marcille laughs. 

“The elvin libraries are so huge, I am very confident that living armor monsters are already well documented in their beastaries.”

“I wonder if a dwarf like me can visit this library to see if that’s true?”

You are already addressing yourself as a dwarf… The rest of them thought. 

Laios reads their discomfort and says, “It’s just as well I don’t visit. I like more hands-on work fighting dungeon monsters anyway.” Izutsumi looks down at her bowl full of disapproval. 

“I’m going to find my own food!”, she exclaims as she darts out.

“Izuuuutsuuuumi!” Senshi calls out to her dramatically then sighs. 

“She’ll be back. There’s nothing here.” Chilchuck reassures him. Senshi clears his throat. 

“I have been contemplating our recent stroke of bad luck. I think the dungeon itself has lost interest in us. Dungeons are made to lure people in with whatever wish each individual desires. Did any of you have any desires before becoming a changeling? Has becoming a changeling affected your desire?” Marcille, Laios, and Chilchuck stay silent. “Come now… there must be more to this than merely recovering Falin. Confess!” The beautiful elf Senshi says all this as if he were a terrible actor on a stage. Senshi’s eccentric gestures and tone of voice had been really getting on Chilchuck's nerves. After another moment of uncomfortable silence, Chilchuck speaks up.

“Are you kidding me?! I had no interest in being any taller than I was! I was already paid in advance. All I want is to do my freakin job and go back home to my daughters before they leave me too.” Marcille gasps at the info drop. “Becoming a changeling I don’t even think I can do that. This is all a big inconvenience.” Marcille grabs his shoulder with tears in her eyes. 

“Oh. How can I forget you have a family to go back to!” She sniffs. “Um well I think I do feel different now that I have become a halfling. I can’t do magic anymore or at least anything close to dark magic. Anyway, I was always afraid of my friends and family dying off while I had to live on as a long lived elf, but since halflings have the shortest lifespan I was thinking that maybe I don’t have to worry about it anymore since I would die first.” Laios and Senshi were moved by her words. Chilchuck cringes. He hated it when other races refer to halflings as short lived as if it was some kind of tragedy. 

“I had a desire too.” Laios said confidently. “Being a tallman is boring. I had always wanted to experience being another race or a werewolf or a troll or giant flying beast and have multiple heads…” Everyone’s jaw drops at his confession of wanting to become a monster. Laios blushes and laughs it off. “Since I’m a dwarf I got what I wanted. Now I just need to stop the Mad Mage from controlling my sister. Also… while we are being completely honest… I think Falin looks cool as a chimera. If she wants to stay as she is I wouldn’t mind.”

“Have you lost your mind, Laios?!” Marcille and Chilchuck yell.

“Let him give an explanation.” orders Senshi.

“Once Falin’s mind is back to herself maybe we can use the changeling mushrooms to turn her dragon half into a creature that can live on the surface. Marcille can’t use revive or high level magic as a halfling so if Falin wants to return back to her old body, we will have to find other mages or healers on the surface.”

“Someone you can trust too that won’t turn you into the authorities. Remember Marcille is wanted now for tampering with dark magic. I wouldn’t be surprised if the rest of us will be taken in as accomplices.” Chilchuck notes. Everyone’s mood sours at that prospect. Damn. He’s the worst person in the party for raising morale. “At- at least we know what we’re working with so we can think of a better plan later.” He feels bad he even brought it up.

Settling in for the night, Izutsumi crawls back into their quarters, slurps up the bowl of soup left out for her and rests at the foot of Chilchuck’s rolled out blanket.

“There are black horses out there, but I could not catch them. I hate to admit I need help, but I want you guys to hunt them for me.”

“Horses? That’s… maybe good to hear. Tomorrow Izutsumi. Tomorrow.

The next day. Is it even daytime? The ceilings of the endless stone walls and towers are sealed over. There’s no beginning or end to the labyrinth. The walls morph as soon as it’s out of sight. It was best that everyone stayed together. This was a situation where Chilchuck’s expertise was vital, yet he couldn’t perform to the best of his abilities. His dulled senses couldn’t quite feel the subtle draft indicating a hidden passage nor spot the one brick out of place from a wall indicating a trigger to open a hidden door like he should. 

The mysterious horses were brought up right away. Nobody had seen them. Even with Laios’ ability to see in the dark, he had found no monsters lying in wait in the shadows. He wasn’t even seeing ghosts anymore.

“I didn’t see them. I smelled them. I heard them.” Izutsumi corrects.

“I thought I could hear hooves clattering too,” says Marcille.

“If they are walking that means they are not hippogriffs. But what would these horses graze on here?” wonders Senshi. It seemed like these beasts were incredibly shy if they wouldn’t let themselves be seen. So not very dangerous. The only thing that mattered to the party was how great it would be to eat something that’s not changeling mushrooms. Who knows if eating those things would affect their transformation. It would be quite awful if it was making it last longer or worse permanent.

“Senshi, Izutsumi, and I will keep a lookout for that monster while Chilchuck and Marcille work together to move past this dungeon level.” Laios orders.

“But I wanted to help find that monster too.” Marcille pouts. 

“We can do both.” Chilchuck made an effort to give a more encouraging tone.

Chilchuck felt disappointment in himself that he had to employ Marcille to use her newly heightened senses to try to find a way out of here. He lifts her up and presses her side to the wall so she can listen through. A small orb of light floats over their heads. Marcille can pull off some simple light spells in her halfling form. She wanted to do more such as make another familiar to scout, but everyone had been encouraging her to save her mana. The rest of the party stands by a short distance away to keep lookout for the horse monster.

“What do you hear, Marcille?” Chilchuck asks her.

“Steps here and there. I don’t know… everything sounds like it could be a monster. I hate it…” She shivers and grabs onto his head tightly. He blushes trying not to imagine her like one of his kids.

“Try to guess where it’s coming from.”

He dreads proceeding further into the dungeon. Of the party Marcille and Laios were the power houses. Laios, despite being a weirdo, knew how to deal with almost every creature they encountered. He had training as a prior army grunt. Since entering the dungeon, embracing monster cuisine, and becoming a dwarf he’s losing focus. He doesn’t have the stamina he used to have. Marcille casted all kinds of magic to counter the Mad Mage the dungeon master during their last encounter. They need Marcille as an elf with lots of mana to stand a chance against him. Falin as a chimera dragon would be nearly impossible to defeat too. How long were they down here? He had always told his daughters to have everything cleaned up after three weeks. He would be back any day past three weeks. They must remove any evidence of partying or boys over. They wouldn’t have boys over cause his nosey neighbors would have told him all about it. The three of them were all working adults so it’s unlikely they would have any time to cause too much trouble. It would be so great to be back. He wouldn't care if it was a little messy or if they broke into the liquor cabinet. No. He would care about that. It would also be bad if they decided to take things into their own hands to look for him. The thought of his naive girls leaving the safety of their village to look for him in the shady bars and outposts near the entrance to the dungeon taps away his drive to complete the mission. 

“I hear some voices.” Marcille whispers.

Chilchuck hopes it’s other adventurers. Not likely because no one else seemed to have moved past the large door they had gone through a few days ago. Yet…

“Give me a direction and distance where you heard it from.” Chichuck instructs her. She stands on his shoulders, puts her hands behind her big ears and listens carefully. “I think that way.” She points forward towards a pillar in the distance. Chichuck turns to tell the party to follow them, but they are interrupted by Izutsumi’s excited barking.

“Look there it is! There it is! See it?! See it?!”

A black horse with two large horns between its eyes stare down at them from a flat stone rooftop a hundred feet away. Laios identifies it right away.

“It’s a bicorn!”

Marcille leaps from Chichuck’s shoulders and heads over to them.

“We’re saved! We might not have to eat mushrooms again if we can catch it!”

Those idiots!, Chilchuck thought. He watches as the four of them run to the bicorn weapons raised and the bicorn darts off into the darkness. Undeterred by this setback, they form a huddle while Chilchuck tiredly looks on. Marcille draws something on the ground and whispers to Senshi. Senshi nods. Laios talks on and on about something. The cat-dog girl wags her tail. Hovering over the huddle, Chilchuck couldn’t make out what they were planning.

“Ok it’s settled!” Laios exclaims. Senshi goes into his bags, gets out a rope and hands it to him. Laios gives him the ax.

“Hey where’s your shield?” Laios asks.

“I’ll just give him this for now.” Senshi gives him his mythril pot.

“What? What’s all this?”

“You didn’t hear?” asks Marcille.

Senshi and Laios murmur to each other. 

“Well he is looking kinda aged…”

“I’ll tell you!” Marcille said excitedly. “We are going to use the scorched earth method.” She taps her staff near a heat spell inscription on the ground. “We are going to make a whole lot of these on that side of our prison maze. Senshi is going to activate them. This will smoke the beast out of hiding. Izutsumi will herd it over there.” She gestures her staff to a bottle neck of walls on the other side. Senshi chimes in. 

“Hate to see this happen to such a fine horse, but we are going to have you rope the beast and cut off its head when it comes to you.”

“Once you have it roped. I’ll help you slay it.” said Laios.

“But Senshi I thought you hated unnecessary damage to the dungeon environment.” Chilchuck protests.

“Sometimes we need to blow up a few walls to make an exit.”, Senshi admits. Marcille smiles and giggles manically. 

“Yes. Finally. Senshi, come with me.”

Small strings of smoke emit from Marcille and Senshi’s side of the labyrinth. Smoking the monster out of hiding will take some time. Laios and Chilchuck wait by the bottleneck going out of the stone courtyard with Izutsumi between the two groups. The theory was as long as there are eyes watching, the walls won’t change. A crash came from where Marcille and Senshi were lighting fires.

“Anytime now.” Laios runs away from Chilchuck towards the entrance.

“Hey! Where you going, Laios?” 

“Oh um… it has to do with the nature of bicorns. Bicorns are the opposite of unicorns. Unicorns are pure and can only be approached by virtuous people. Bicorns on the other hand only dishonorable people can-”

“I don’t need your monster encyclopedia answer. Give me the short answer. Why do you want me to do this alone?” Chichuck braces himself for Laios to give a blunt explanation.

“Ever since you became a tallman… you look suspicious.”

“What do you mean?”

Laios dug around in his pockets. “Let me get out my shaving kit. I’ve been having to use it more often since I became a dwarf so I carry it with me. The beard just keeps growing..oh here it is.” Laiosd shows him his mirror. “Look.”

Chilchuck thought he had just become taller and bigger in some places. He didn’t recognise the stubbled middle aged tallman’s face before him. The man looked like one of those loser goons the ores killed at the crooked pub on level three. One word came to mind: troll. He had turned into a troll. The kind he used to tell his girls about to scare them into doing their chores. If he turned up at their front door like this there was no way they would recognize him. Thus the tragedy of becoming a changeling. Chilchuck turns away listless.

“Oh. I see exactly what you mean. I do look like the criminal sort. I’ll be perfect for this role.” He sluggishly moves back into position.

 Laios recognizes that he laid it on him too strong. “I didn’t mean to offend you, Mr. Chilchuck! Tallmen just look more aged than halflings. You don’t look bad..you just look more like a father type than you did..I had some issues with um nevermind. Anyway you said some things and I’m not judging-Oh shit!” The bicorn leaps past him. The dark horse slows into a walk approaching Chilchuck. All of his body’s dulled senses bolt awake. His weariness fades away immediately. He stares down the beast, slowly walking towards it. He holds up the rope that was tied into a slipknot and drops it over the monster’s head. The tallman holds it steady while the beast tries to jerk away.

“You got it!” Laios exclaims. Chilchuck stares blankly at the line and the monster in disbelief.

“Oh damn. I did get it.” The monster bites down on Chilchuck’s arm that was not holding the pot shield. Lucky for him, he was wearing Laios’ arm bracers. Chilchuck didn’t have a weapon ready indicating his inexperience with jobs like this. He struggles and backs off just enough for the rope to slip out of his hands. The lassoed bicorn runs back to the courtyard with Chilchuck chasing after it. Laios follows behind them. From their left off in the distance buildings were collapsing. Pillars of fire burst out from the rubble. Senshi, Marcille, Izutsumi and more bicorns were fleeing the scene with a big cloud of dust coming behind them. 

“I’m never doing magic again!” elf Senshi screams.

Concentrating on his quarry, Chilchuck tries to grab the dragging rope. He almost grabs it until the bicorn leaps up a ten foot wall onto a roof.

“You’re not getting away!” He jumps up, steps on to the protruding rocks, and climbs the wall in a flash. Laios runs up to it, breathing heavily.

“Damn… Mr. Chilchuck.” He looks around for stairs.

At last Chilchuck had the monster cornered. Behind and to the right of the creature was a much higher wall that was several stories. Below was the rest of the party. He takes the ax and throws it. The ax brushes off to the side of the bicorn. He missed. The bicorn lowers its head and paws the dirt with its front hoof. I messed up. The beast springs into a charge at him. He loosens his largest knife out of his side pocket. Holding the knife he attempts to dodge to the side. The horn of the beast punctures his right shoulder. At the same time Chilchuck stabs as hard as he can into the side of the horse’s head. Brains and blood spill out. At the same time, Izutsumi pounces on to its back and bites into the monster’s neck. The monster collapses to its side, letting Chilchuck’s shoulder go. From the ground it kicks wildly until a moment later Laios steps in and finishes it by piercing its heart with his sword. The kobold beastling howls. Marcille and Senshi cheer. Laios wipes the blood off his blade and sheaths it. He goes right up to Chilchuck and embraces him. Being a lot shorter, Laios stood on the dead bicorn. Chilchuck his heart still racing, cheerfully raises his fists in the air, jumps and laughs with him.

“You were absolutely crazy! I knew you could fight monsters if you wanted to!” Laios yells.

“Of course I can! It was a piece of cake!”

It didn’t feel like him at all to be this hyped up. As a halfling his senses were at peak all the time except when he was drunk or asleep. It's probably why I’m so stressed out all the time. These lows and highs as a tallman… it actually feels really good. Maybe that’s part of why Laios acts like such a happy buffoon.

“Laios! Izutsumi! You got to get Chilchuck down here at once!” Marcille yells.

Chilchuck sees blood rushing down his arm. He reaches to his neck. The horn must have severed a few important arteries. That’s strange. I didn’t even feel any pain. He falls over dead.

Chilchuck gasps and sits up. Laios holds up tiny Marcille as her head sinks. They are inside an enclosure. Senshi already had meat cooking over the fire.

“She insisted she revive you. You died.” Laios recounts.

“Marcille..”

“The colors duke… the colors…” she murmurs to herself.

“Senshi made sure she ate before she used that spell, but it still took a lot out of her. It looks like she has a bad case of mana sickness. She’s most likely completely tapped out of mana too.” Laios explains. Chilchuck holds his head and groans. He watches Laios lay her over blankets. I shouldn’t have brought that on you, Marcille, he thought

“So I have as much luck dealing with other monsters as mimics.” Mimics which hide in treasure chests are the only monsters he as a locksmith is required to engage with as per contract. They have killed him many times. Now all monsters are like mimics… He imagined many different creatures before him turning into crabs. Senshi puts down a strange plate of stringy meat before Isumi, Laios and Chilchuck.

“I made sfilacci and I am going to try to make as much of the leftovers into bresaola.”

They all look at the hair like meat. What’s with the fanciness? Why can’t we just have BBQ?

Izutsumi asks, “What are these words? Oh well it smells good and meaty.” She gobbles it up. Chilchuck nibbles away at it, hiding the fact that he’s very hungry. Laios eats the hair meatball in one bite. The blonde dwarf looks like he wants to complain, but doesn’t. Senshi whittles away cutting up tiny pieces of the bicorn’s leg, making meticulous micro cuts. We are in a dungeon. Not a five star restaurant.

“Senshi, your food prep doesn’t need to..” Chilchuck tried to say. Senshi turns around in slow motion, his long black curls flowing, roses bloom in the air all around him, his eyelashes fluttering.

“You have a critique of my cooking?”

Chilchuck and Laios are stunned. Izutsumi bluntly interrupts, “Had becoming an elf made you lose common sense? I want steak!”

“I didn’t lose anything. I am just the same as I was.”

Izutsumi narrows her eyes at him. “Pretty Senshi, you just do your thing. Manly Chilchuck and you too Fat Laios, let’s make something ourselves too. I know you want the good parts.” Senshi frowns and keeps working.

The three of them move out of the enclosure to build a bigger campfire. It turned out that there wasn’t only one bicorn killed, but five more from the fire explosive magic. All that running around, fighting, and dying proved to be useless, Chilchuck concluded. Chilchuck helps Laios and Izutsumi carry one of the burnt up dead bodies to the campfire. As Chilchuck got the fire going the two butchered the carcass they brought over. 

“Magic is so overpowered. There was no point in having me involved.”

Laios gave him an encouraging smile. “We didn’t know Senshi was going to be that effective with magic. If anything we were using them to scare the bicorns your way. We did find out one thing.”

“And that was?”

“You don’t have loose morals. The bicorn still attacked you.” Chichuck sighs and rolls his eyes. “I know Marcille would want to pry into that more, but I will leave it there.”

Thank god. Perhaps Laios is maturing a bit. They set up the grill and put as many steaks on there as they could. As it cooks, Chilchuck’s mind wanders back into his bad habit of rumination. Senshi must be very upset that 1: he was coaxed into using magic, 2: we killed way more monsters than we had to and 3: more than half of us are making our own meal. Marcille too is in rough shape. 

The first round of steaks are done and Laios passes a big one to everyone’s plates. Izutsumi brows on it to cool it down before taking a bite. Chilchuck tries his and it tastes amazing probably because he was starved. Being revived takes a lot of vigor out of you. How could he convince Laios to have everyone return to the surface? He remembered the orc girl Leed’s advice to just be honest, yet he also didn’t want to plead with Laios overly emotional like that last time. Finally he said, “I feel bad for Marcille.”

“I know. I know.” Laios admits. “We are not going to be able to proceed without a confident magic user. Marcille is the best we have.”

“Admit it, we all aren’t at our best in these forms.”

“Not entirely. I did chop down on that horse real good.” Izutsumi smiles and ravishes into another steak.

“Yeah! You did do good! Who’s a good girl!?” Laios reaches to pat her head. She draws back.

“Noooo. No!” she barks back at him. Marcille weakly wanders out of the enclosure to them followed by Senshi.

“Come on! Join us!” Laios calls out to them. They gather around and Laios gives them a steak. Marcille quietly eats with tired eyes. Senshi refused their offering and just wanted to help.

And my conversation is derailed again. Chichuck takes another steak. He eats a few more while Senshi talks about the best ways to cook meat.

“You know I don’t understand why I didn’t think to just make jerky out of all this. Why did that fail to come to my mind? I don’t know. Perhaps because of the lack of salt?” As he ate and time went on Chichuck’s mood improved and he forgot about what he was so worried about. The effect of the food maybe? He probably ate the most in this one sitting than he had ever had for a meal in his entire life.

“Soooo I didn’t think you did too bad out there. You liked fighting monsters didn’t you?” Laios poked Chilchuck’s shoulder with a fork. Laios face gets covered by Chilchuck’s hand pushing him away. Chilchuck turns his head away from the group, hiding his grin.

“Maybe I did feel a bit of a thrill in it… I blame becoming a tallman or your insanity rubbing off on me. I think my luck with fighting general monsters will be as good as fighting mimics. I will probably die everytime.” They both laugh together as if they’re drunk. Marcille gives a concerned look and she speaks up to Senshi. 

“I might have been too pushy making you use magic… we were too reckless.”

Senshi gazes down at her and nods. In a moment Marcille’s ears perk up and she sees a small familiar fly through the air over them.

“Hey everybody watch out above you!” They all see it. The familiar looked like a glowing bird. “It’s the Canaries. They’re here!” Marcille puts out the fire. She opens her book and flashes through the pages. “Everyone stay together. I’m going to put a camouflage barrier over us so they won’t see us.” 

“Wait! Don’t-” Chilchuck cries out. Marcille holds her staff and casts the incantation from the book, stops in mid sentence and falls. Chilchuck catches her. The spell failed. Her body’s not tuned enough in magic to cast high level spells. Especially in the state she was already in. The walls change and a stairwell appears beside their encampment. A party of seven descend the staircase to them. Everyone stands up ready to defend themselves. The only weapons Senshi and Izutsumi had were knives and forks. Laios, the only one with his sword on hand, gets between the two parties. Chichuck holding Marcille in his arms sizes up the arrivals. The new group of seven only consisted of elves in advanced looking gear and armor. The elves walk up to them. Actually on closer inspection one of the men is a tallman.

“Well well. Hello dungeon adventurers. Please put your sword down, dwarf.  The rest of you put your… utensils down. We are merely a dungeon investigation unit.”, an elf with long blonde hair similar in appearance to Marcille orders. They do just that. Another elf with tattoos all over his body circles them.

“I don’t see the blonde elf mage. This party is completely different than the one described.”

Chilchuck came to the realization that with their bodies transformed by the changelings, they are perfectly disguised from their wanted physical profiles Kabru’s or Shiro’s party gave them.

“Are you the only party that made it this far? Have you seen any others?”, the tan elf woman asks them. Laios and Senshi shake their heads. “I mean have you encountered a party of five that has an elf female with blonde hair?”

An awkward silence. Chilchuck watches them with increased anxiety. 

Come on you two, say something. Senshi adverts their gaze and taps at Marcille’s staff with his foot. Senshi was supposed to deal with elves now that he is one. Laios is supposed to be the leader. In this moment of need they are both dead silent. From experience working with Laios, he often hesitates when speaking with people he doesn’t know. He will probably blow their cover. Chilchuck couldn’t allow that to happen.

“We’ve been trapped here by ourselves for months.” Chilchuck speaks out. Everyone in the other party turned their attention to him. Pressure’s on. “I’m Corkus and this is my daughter Neese.” The elves seemed satisfied with that response.

“That explains everything. We are also here to evacuate all adventurers from the dungeon and neutralize the dungeon lord. Would you like assistance getting to the surface?”, the blonde elf girl offers. The elves stare at the tallman waiting for an answer believing him to be the leader.

Chilchuck wanted to scream yes, but- He turns around to his party.

“What do you think? This could be our only way out of here.” Please everyone…

“Oh my head..” Marcille groans and sits up in his arms. He puts her tiny hand on his cheek. “I’m tired papa. Let’s go home.” She plays the part really well. Everyone followed suit.

“Yeah I think we went as far as we could.” It seems Laios would go with whatever Marcille wants.

“It would be nice to restock on spices.” Senshi says. Izutsumi nods with them.

“Thank you. We would like your help.” Chilchuck answers them pretending to be the party leader.

“I like it when they can be reasoned with. I’ll prepare a spell to get you all to the surface.” A dark skinned young elf in steel armor steps forward.

“Hold it. Before you let them go, I want to ask these adventurers a few questions.” The young man glares up at Chilchuck. The blue eyes look really familiar. “You know, Corkus, your gear and clothing of your party appear to be just like Laios’ party’s clothing and gear. For instance, that green circle scarf looks exactly like it belongs to a halfling in Laios’ party. ” Chilchuck suddenly recognized him. It’s Kabru. It’s fucking Kabru and he knows I’m lying through my teeth. How he disguised himself as an elf and got into the Canaries’ party is anyone’s guess.

“Um..we all shop at the same stores on the first floor?”

“Allow me to go through your gear and make sure it wasn’t stolen.” 

The gig is up. We have our initials on everything. Marcille has her full name on all her gear. A messy haired elf girl interrupts them. 

“Oh my gosh! Doesn’t this guy…” 

The other elves drop listening to Kabru’s conversation and show interest in Senshi. Senshi pulls back his hair and lets it flow in the breeze that’s coming from nowhere.

“Yes! The resemblance is uncanny!” A female elf with short hair yells.

“Whatever do you mean?” Senshi asks shyly.

“I mean you’re that guy from the The Daltian Clan novels. What’s his name…? the one with the eyepatch on a horse..”

“The character’s name is Forva and he’s the one with black hair. The one with the eyepatch is actually General Hareus.” Marcille corrects them in a dreamy whisper. 

“Oooooh!” Everyone of the elven’s party except for the tallman and Kabru exclaim with delight.

“Yeah! That!” nods the elf with the messy hair.

“Aww it’s so cute that the little ones are getting into our popular literature.” The blonde elf sighs. She completes her spell and reveals a large door portal to the Chilchuck and his companions. “All done here. Just step on through.” 

“But-” Kabru protests. The tan female elf addresses the only tallman in their party.

“Captain, do we need to waste our time questioning these guys anymore?”

He responds with a firm “No.” Chilchuck thought it very strange that a tallman would be a party leader to elves from the North Central Continent. I know it’s a stereotype for tallman males to be party leaders, but this is ridiculous.

Laios’ party gather by the portal. It all unravels when Marcille fully wakes up.

“Where are we going?”

Chilchuck whispers “Out of the dungeon.”

She gasps and squirms out of his arms.

“No, we can’t go. What about Falin?” she says to her party with tears in her eyes.

“Everyone should go, including you. I’ll stay and find her myself.” Laios assures her. Frustrated that all his efforts were about to go nowhere, Chilchuck grabs both of them by their shirtsleeves.

“Absolutely not! You are both going back with us right now!”

“Hey, I still need to find that Dungeon Master to undo my curse!” yells Izutsumi.

“You think it would hurt if I go through that portal?” Senshi whimpers. Chilchuck loses his temper. 

“What the hell is wrong with you all?!” They proceed to argue. Kabru puts his palm to his face.

“People. We got company.” The messy haired elf uses her familiars to widely illuminate the area. The dead bicorns that they didn’t eat, rose up. Headless men in black armor emerge and mount the beasts. One of them rides closer holding a giant sword, the tip of it scraping across the dungeon floor. The Captain uses a spell that makes two of them split in half from the waist. The headless men turn into black smoke and reappear fully intact.

“Phantoms.” The tallman grits his teeth, heavy sweat appearing on his brow.

“What are you waiting for?” The messy haired elf pushes Senshi into the portal. The cat-kobold follows him. More mounted headless black knights come out of the shadows surrounding them. Chilchuck kneels down and meets Laios and Marcille’s eyes.

“Pleeease go.” he pleads, feeling exhausted.

“Yes. We are going. Come on.” Laios puts his arm around Marcille and directs her toward the door. “I’m sorry, but Dunahan are really bad to go up against.” He shouts out to the Canary party. “The rest of you should return too!” Laios and Marcille disappear into the portal. Chilchuck leaves the elves behind, but just before he entered the portal he heard one of them say. 

“We should retreat too. Captain stepped through a changeling ring and it's negatively affecting his mana use.”

They return to the inside of the governor’s residence. The room was within the town hall section. Laios held his mouth and immediately ran for the exit to throw up. Transportation sickness is the worst for dwarfs. Curious what the elves said about the Captain, Chilchuck waits for the other party to make it through the portal. He notices that Laios and Marcille have already left the building.

“Oh you’re still here.” said the blonde magic-using elf. “You can go now.”

“You said something about the Captain experiencing going through a changeling ring?”

“Yes, a couple members of our party had undergone an inconvenient transformation.” Senshi and Izutsumi grab Chilchuck’s arms and start moving him to the exit. He had to get more information. Anything better than going with the knowledge of changelings from his homeland.

“Is there a cure?”

“Yeah. It’s easy. Just practice good hygiene. Once Captain and our tallman guide have washed off the spores, they should be back in shape in less than twelve hours. It’s really stubborn the longer it isn’t treated. Once the fungus settles into your nails, you're screwed.”

Chilchuck’s color drains out of his face as he hears her warning. Senshi and Izutsumi lead him to the door out of there. Kabru happily waves to them.

“Goodbye. Maybe I’ll meet you at the bathhouse later.”

To everyone’s surprise it was a sunny early afternoon at the surface. The dungeon was in the process of being evacuated and it showed. There were people of all races everywhere. Many figured the days of looting the dungeon were over and were in the process of packing up. Temporary shops were set up with signs saying “One day only sale!”, “Last Chance before we relocate.” and “Everything must go.” If this were different circumstances some shopping would have been in order, but removing the fungal spores is a priority. They head for Laios’ apartment, the only place they have to go to in town since Senshi lives in the dungeon, Izutsumi came from overseas, and Chilchuck’s home is several miles away. Laios’ apartment key was lost with his gear in the dungeon so Chilchuck had to lockpick his way in while the rest stood around him looking very suspicious. Once inside he reminded everyone that they all must wash off those spores. Once inside Laios gathered whatever soaps he could find and a washtub. He had to use a broomstick to get a box of shampoos from Falin’s closet for Marcille. Chilchuck pushed for them to wash out back instead of the bathhouse, because it would be crowded due to the dungeon evacuation. He also didn’t want to run into Kabru, the captain, or Shiro’s group if they are still on the island. He dreaded the scenario in which Laios tells Shiro that they failed and the samurai decides to cut off Laios head or hunt down Falin to put her out of her misery.

He could not help, but feel astounded that the interior of the apartment was just like the insides of the buildings in his hometown. Everything is normal sized. Actually he now had to watch his head going through doors. It will be a relief to be short again. Chilchuck walks into Falin’s side of the apartment to find Marcille on Falin’s bed crying. Izutsumi was sitting beside her providing comfort. He turns around and heads back before they notice his presence. Laios and Senshi had everything ready. 

“We will wash first outside and bring fresh water to the girls so they can bathe privately.” Senshi suggests. 

“Sounds like a plan.” Chilchuck responds.

Monsters sometimes do appear outside of the dungeon. Changelings were one of them. It was thought that the fairies would replace human children with one of their own to play a cruel joke. It was said that changelings were a problem in his hometown many years ago. The way the halfling community dealt with changelings was throwing them in a burn pit. Any mushroom fairy circles found were burned. Yep fire was the solution. Good thing the real way to turn back to himself was simply washing off the mushroom spores. They went up a nearby stream and got water. Chilchuck anticipated that Senshi and Laios wouldn’t want to bathe. Senshi because he rarely bathed as a dwarf and Laios because he wants to remain a changeling dwarf. To his surprise, they both comply without any hesitation. They wash their gear and clothes too. That included Laios’ transformed sword. Chilchuck walks into a pond the creek was feeding. Wouldn’t you want to remain changed? Tiny black specks swim up to his legs making him step back out. They’re just tadpoles. Normal animals. The dangers of the dungeon have made him skittish. He jumps in, plunges himself in the water and scrubs hard. Laios once again lends him some of his fresh clothes that would fit a tallman. Laios squeezes into one of his own shirts the best he could and rolls up his sleeves. Finally Senshi boils the water and fills it for the girls. Chilchuck wanted to wash up so bad that he didn’t care about water temperature. The girls on the other hand… Well they wanted it to be nice for them. The process takes time so Chilchuck asks Laios to borrow his shaving kit. Laios and Senshi both tease him offering to tell him how to use it. Away from them with a bit of a learning curve, Chilchuck shaves his beard off revealing a warped troll version of his old face. He could already feel that the hair would grow back in hours. How could Laios do this everyday? He returned to Senshi and Laios to see them in deep conversation. They stop as soon as they see him. What were they talking about?, he wondered. 

“The water is ready for them. We’ll just take it up to the apartment.”, Senshi says.

“You mean Laios and I.” Chilchuck responds knowing well that elf Senshi can’t lift. Carrying the washtub up with Laios, Chilchuck smells a flowery perfume from the water. “What is this?”

“You know… Marcille likes it fancy.” Chilchuck’s instincts sense a scheme, but decides not to push it. They bring the water over to Falin’s room. Only Marcille remained on the bed.

“Where’s Izutsumi?” Laios asks.

“Oh she got tired of waiting and took off. She told me she would clean off the spores on her own.” Marcille answers.

“It can’t be helped.” Senshi admits.

The three of them wait seated in Laios’ side of the apartment while Marcille washes herself in Falin’s room. Marcille calls over to them.

“So once we are back in our normal bodies, we will go down again?” The three grimace at the prospect of telling her bad news. Chilchuck was about to say something then Laios spoke up.

“The dungeon is being sealed away. The Canaries will enter in a couple days and defeat the Mad Mage.” He pauses. “I don’t know what will become of Falin.”

“What will we do? What can we do?” A long silence fell upon them.

“We should go to the pub tonight.” Chilchuck finally suggests. Everyone else was taken aback.

“Chilchuck really? Really!?” Marcille screams over to them.

He defends his proposal. “That’s what we always do after we return to the surface. It’s tradition.”

“We can’t go out and party at a time like this?! What if you turn back into a halfling in Laios’ clothing over there?”

“I’ll be so happy I’ll dance on the table naked. I’ll be so drunk, I won’t care.”

“Chilchuck, you’re an idiot!”

“Going to the pub doesn’t sound too bad to me.” Laios admits. Senshi agrees.

“You guys are so insensitive!”

“I thought you loved the food there.” Laios said. Chilchuck could hear splashing and grumbling from her side.

“Hurry and finish up, Marcille. There’s gonna be a big crowd tonight. We need to get there early to get good seats.”

“Come over here. I need help with something.” Chilchuck glances over to Laios and Senshi sitting in the corner looking a bit scared. He sighs, stands up and walks over to the entrance. A fully clothed Marcille drops a bucket of water on his head from above. She laughs and surries away.

“You little gremlin!” He yells as he chases after her.

To be continued... (1 of 3)

[marmorafarms]

The Hazards of Love Ch 3

I have a bonus chapter for you all! I ended up getting super inspired, and decided to split the chapter into two instead of doing one huge chapter. I hope you enjoy!

The song mentioned in this chapter is a real song! It's one of my favorites, and is called Kun Anta, by Humood AlKhudher! I translated the bits I put in as best I could, but I might not have done the best job ever, so sorry to y'all who are more fluent in Arabic than I am!

Pairing: Labru

Word Count: 2098

Chapter Rating: Teen+

You can read it down below or on ao3!

THEN:

Ever since the concert with Laios, the two had become almost inseparable. It was hard to find one without the other, both men seeming to genuinely love being around each other. Even though Laios was a little odd, Kabru found that he really didn’t mind that much. He might be different, but he was passionate about his interests, and it softened Kabru’s heart to hear him talk about his two passions—exotic animals, and cooking.

“You know, I’d love to cook something with you sometime!” Laios said one day, seemingly out of the blue. The two were studying in the library, Laios looking over his notes for creative writing, and Kabru working on some math.

“What?” Kabru asked, confused. They hadn’t even been talking about food, so he wasn’t really sure what had brought this on.

“We should cook,” Laios said. “I think you should meet my friend Senshi, he’s a cooking instructor, and can make an amazing meal out of anything! I was just thinking, I want you to meet my friends. I’ve met yours, so you should meet mine!”

Kabru winced, thinking about Laios’ introduction to Rin. She had been ice cold, but either Laios hadn’t noticed or simply didn’t care.

“Is it because he’s pretty?” Rin had asked after hanging out with Laios. Kabru glared at her.

“Probably,” their friend Mickbell said with a snort. “I can’t believe you want to hang out with that blond dumbass,” he continued. “He’s friends with Chilchuck! Don’t you remember that weirdo from high school? Ugh, I can’t believe we have to be friends with those chuckleheads now.”

“It’s not that,” Kabru said, trying to keep a cool head. “He’s nice. Genuine. Maybe he’s a little strange, but that just makes him even better. He’s himself, no matter what. It’s beautiful.”

Mickbell made a loud fake gagging noise, and Rin rolled her eyes.

“Whatever you say,” she said grumpily.

Kabru hoped that meeting Laios’ friends would go over a little bit better, and that hopefully none of them would have rude things to say about him behind his back. He had agreed to meet Senshi, which had overjoyed Laios. He gave Kabru a one thousand watt smile, and clapped him on the back.

“We’ll have so much fun!” Laios said. “You should bring some ingredients!”

“Like what?” Kabru said. “We should probably come up with a meal first instead of just bringing random ingredients and hoping it makes something.”

“Hmm…” Laios said thoughtfully. “I’ll ask Senshi what would be good.”

Kabru nodded. “Okay that sounds--”

“Oops!” a feminine voice said as someone bumped into Kabru. “Sorry!”

Kabru turned in his chair, and saw two people behind him. They were both blonde and very feminine looking. The shorter of the two was who was looking a Kabru in a way he very much didn’t like. She leaned against the table, a sly smile on her face, eyes hooded. He recognized this look. It was the look of someone who was going to try to shoot their shot, and Kabru really wasn’t in the mood.

“It’s fine,” Kabru said, trying to sound as disinterested in her as possible.

“Oh I’m glad I didn’t bother you,” she said. “Hey, I think I recognize you! I think you’re in my stats class! With Professor Jakob?”

“Maybe,” Kabru said, “It’s a huge class. Sorry, I don’t think I recognize you.”

Her face fell, but brightened as she continued. “Well, my name is Fleki, and this is Lycion,” she said, nodding to the man next to her, who raised a hand in greeting.

“Great, nice to meet you,” Kabru said. He turned back to his math, but Fleki continued to talk.

“There’s a really awesome party coming up next weekend,” she said, sliding Kabru a piece of paper. “There’s my number. Call me sometime, okay?” she said with a grin. Kabru gave a forced smile, and felt relieved as she left.

“Are you going to call her?” Laios asked. “She was pretty.”

“She was, but that’s not enough to make me want to call her,” Kabru said. “She was so rude, just butting into our conversation. And I did recognize her.”

“Really?” Laios said, surprised. “But you told her you didn’t!”

“I know Fleki by reputation, but not by looks. At first I was being honest, but as soon as she said her name, I realized who she was. She’s a druggie, always high on mushrooms or LSD or shit like that. An awesome party…probably just wants to get high and mess around.”

“Would you want to do that?” Laios asked.

“Want to get high and fuck her? Hell no!” Kabru said, shocked.

“No, I…I more meant the idea. Getting high and messing around with someone,” Laios said, sounding slightly flustered.

Kabru blinked. What?

“Um, I don’t know?” Kabru said. “Maybe if it was like, weed or something. I don’t go any harder than that. I’ve never had sex while high though.”

“I have,” Laios said.

“Really?” Kabru said, and Laios nodded.

“I don’t have a lot of experience though, not many people want to go that far with me, but when I have--”

“Oh that’s bullshit, you’re hot as fuck!” Kabru burst out. It didn’t take long for him to register what he had just said, and felt his face heating up, wishing a hole would open up in the floor and swallow him whole. Why had he said that?!

“Excuse me?” Laios said, his cheeks tinged with pink.

“I…” Kabru floundered, trying to figure out how to save the situation, “I just meant that you’re a good looking guy so it’s hard to believe that people wouldn’t want to do it with you!”

“Oh,” Laios said, eyes wide. “Well…I don’t have trouble getting dates if it’s on an app. Girls seem to like how I look. But it’s after that’s the problem. Once they meet me, most of them don’t want to date me. I weird people out,” Laios said sadly. “So meeting people in person is pretty much out of the question. They meet me and are instantly turned off.”

“That’s stupid,” Kabru said with a frown. “You’re great! Anyone would be lucky to be with you.”

“Easy for you to say, you’re a guy!” Laios said.

Ah.

That line.

Kabru sighed. Having said that stupid phrase, Laios was probably straight. If he wasn’t able to consider that a man could have feelings for another man…or maybe he was operating under the assumption that Kabru was straight? Well, the band aid would have to be ripped off at some point, might as well say something now.

“First of all, it doesn’t matter that I’m a guy, it’s obvious that anyone would be lucky to be with you. You’re a great guy with a good heart. But secondly, I happen to enjoy guys just as much as those girls you’re talking about.”

“Enjoy guys?” Laios said slowly, looking confused. Kabru wanted to slam his head against the table. Why was Laios so slow on the uptake?

“I fuck guys,” Kabru said bluntly, and Laios choked on air.

“You’re gay?” Laios said, after his coughs subsided.

“Bi,” Kabru said, “but yeah, I’m into guys. You?”

“I…I’m not really sure,” Laios said after a moment. “I think I’m straight but…”

“But?” Kabru pressed, and Laios looked away.

“I dunno. I’ve never thought about much until…” Laios paused, the apples of his cheeks flushing once more. “Well, I was talking with my friends and then my sister’s girlfriend, Marcille, called me ‘heteroflexible.’ So…maybe I like guys? Sometimes?”

Holy shit! He likes guys!

Kabru felt his heart flutter. Was being with Laios an actual possibility?

“But that just means the amount of people who don’t want to date me has just doubled,” Laios said with a bitter laugh. “I’ve tried to be someone else, a whole new person, but it never works. I’m just…me.”

“Don’t sell yourself short. There’s this song I like…it reminds me of you. It’s in Arabic, but it says basically that if you’re yourself, you’re beautiful.”

“So, in your opinion,” Laios said slowly, “If I just let myself be myself, I’ll be beautiful?”

“Yes,” Kabru said firmly. “Don’t forget that, okay?”

“I won’t,” Laios said with a soft smile. “I promise.”

NOW

Laios sat in his car, wondering if this was a good idea. He hadn’t asked beforehand, but it was visiting hours. He desperately wanted to see Kabru, even though he had no idea what he would even say.

Laios turned his music on shuffle and hit play. And then it came on. The song, their song.

Pulling up his GPS, he put in the name of the hospital and began to drive. This was probably a stupid idea, but Laios didn’t care. He needed to see Kabru, even if it was just for a few minutes, or even seconds. Even if he was just looking through the window…he needed to see his face.

(in order to keep up with them I imitated their appearance. So I looked like someone else, just to brag. I thought I had become rich, but I found I had lost, for these are appearances)

لأجاريهم، قلّدت ظاهر ما فيهم

فبدوتُ شخصاً آخر، كي أتفاخر

و ظننتُ أنا، أنّي بذلك حُزْت غنى

فوجدتُ أنّي خاسر، فتلك مظاهر

Laios’ breath caught in his throat, and he both wanted to listen and didn’t want to listen all at the same time. He didn’t speak Arabic, but he could still remember Kabru telling him the meaning of the song, telling him how much it reminded him of Laios.

كن أنت تزدد جمالاً

(Be yourself and you will be more beautiful)

Kabru had told him this line on that day in the library. Told him that as long as he was himself, he would be beautiful. But look where being himself had gotten him! He hadn’t been able to love Kabru, and now his friend was in the hospital, dying. Sure, Laios had a plan. But did Falin have a point? Could he make himself fall in love with Kabru, or was it a lost cause?

Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes as he drove, listening to the song. At the next light, he put the song on repeat, letting it play on loop as he remembered the first time they had ever listened to it. That moment had been everything. It had been the moment he fell for Kabru.

But clearly, not fallen in love.

God, how could he say he fell for Kabru when Kabru was coughing up petals and pollen? He felt like he was in love, but clearly something was off, something was wrong. Could something be wrong with his love? Was it not deep enough, or maybe…maybe they weren’t meant for each other? Was that how it worked? Maybe you had to be soul mates.

Laios had spent hours researching Hanhaki, but unfortunately there wasn’t a whole lot of scholarly articles about it. Most of what he found were random people speculating or telling stories that truly frightened Laios. One article in a newspaper he didn’t recognize spoke of someone who lost all memories of the person they had been in love with. They had had the surgery and completely forgotten the person, didn’t even know their name.

Could he handle it if Kabru completely forgot him? Completely forgot this song? Completely forgot when they had…

Laios shook his head. He couldn’t remember that now. He needed to focus on what he was going to say to Kabru. He had to figure out what the hell to say! And what to say if Rin was there.

Rin was furious with him. She blamed Laios for Kabru’s predicament and clearly hated him for it. She had burst out in fury at him, and now refused to even look at him when they were in class, much less talk to him. She would probably try and stop him from seeing Kabru.

And maybe she would be right to. Would Kabru even want to see him? Laios hadn’t even considered that until this very moment. Maybe seeing him would make things worse. Maybe he’d die on the spot. Laios gripped the steering wheel tight. He sighed, and pulled over. This was a bad idea. He punched a new address into the GPS and headed there. He needed someone to be brutally honest with him, someone who wouldn’t sugar coat things even a little bit. Someone who wouldn’t give a shit about his feelings.

He needed Izutsumi.

[chippuyon]

i want to eat your artwork. SO BAD!!!!!!!!!! i love literally everything about it, the colors the linework the TEXTURE. it is so cozy. it is is edible looking. i want to grab it stir fry it plate it eat it. UR SO COOL!!!! but unfortunately i cant just grab your art and turn it into fried rice so ill settle fro asking what brush do you use.... i wanna give that texture and feel a try

uwahhh reading this brought the widest grin to my face im so overjoyed you like my art 🥹🥹 i love you anon you just made my day 🫶 for line art i use my tried and true 6-pencil (id: 1730414) from clip studio! coloring is a lot harder I don't have a solid coloring style yet so my brushes are all over the place >.< for the laios pieces I've been trying to emulate ryoko kui's style with watercolor brushes! I used the standard round and flat watercolor brush, the standard watercolor splash brush, a color bleeding brush (id: 1812365), and these brushes (id: 1779865) I also added a noise layer and watercolor texture layer above

[doodlepede]

OH THEY'RE GUNG-HO ABOUT EATING HER?

i was expecting more stubbornness. that's Actual cannibalism. because . yeah yeah senshi made the metaphor about falin being eggs with bacon - difficult to separate but possible. but its not quite right. she's not a human body tacked onto a dragon's, she's a human torso fused into the dragon, with feathers sprouting out of her human skin. she is one whole animal, one mind, one complete being. theyre way more enmeshed than they'd like to believe. and last fucking episode we just, for the first time, saw cannibalism framed as a devastating traumatizing horror. and then next episode, this. the show wants you think about the horror and trauma. and yet. and also,

at the beginning of the show i was HOPING that laios would want to eat her. i am so fucking overjoyed. this is fucking glorious. i am on my knees praying that the show fires theses chekhov's guns. pleaaasee PLEASE. i seeeeeeee the writing on the wall DO IT i see it.

[transhitman]

GOD the way Laios is perceived by the other characters is so real. They think he's not interested in them, he doesn't care about anything but monsters. It's all he talks about. And it's so 💀. When he gets told he's weird and annoying by people he thought liked him... God like "How the hell could I figure that out? I was completely overjoyed because I made my first friend on the island." BRO. Like of course he cares, he wants to share the things he loves with the people he loves. Reaching out, hoping other people find joy in the same things. He's sharing foundational piece of himself, but that's not the Right Way to show affection. Normal people - good people - don't do that kind of thing. So other people think he's a bad person. Bad at being a person. But what the fuck do normal people do instead? What's more sincere than this? It's so... Ouuuuuggghhh......... Laios............. LAIOS.