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javisjeanjacket · 4 years ago

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Whatever It Takes - shara bey x kes dameron

A/N: hey gang! we’re trying something new this time around, so let me know what you think! I love our boy Poe and the more I researched his parents the more I fell in love with them and writing this for them made me cry ngl. but then again when do i not cry when writing angst?

This takes place in between Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi fyi

Photos and gifs are not mine.

Also a HUGE thank you to my gal pal @mndalorians for beta reading for me!! LOVE YOUUUUU

Word Count: 2.6K

Warnings: angst, one curse word:)

"I think they've got him back on Tatooine." A Pathfinder operative hypothesized, scratching at the collar of his uniform as he shoved a spoonful of rations into his mouth.

"Tatooine? Why Tatooine?" A second operative asked from down the Mess Hall table, his expression smug.

"I heard they've got him in carbonite. That's gotta be the Hutt cartel; come on, man." The first Pathfinder splayed his hands.

Kes Dameron sifted his hand through his hair and ran it down his face. He picked lifelessly at the field rations before him, his stomach gurgling.

"Nah, I bet Lando's probably still got him on Bespin. He thinks Commander Solo stole the Falcon from him and he's probably holding him prisoner for it." The second Pathfinder responded.

"He's definitely on Tatooine. I heard that Leia is-"

Kes shook his head and sighed, the war and it's intricacies resting heavily upon him. "You guys heard if the A-Wings have come in yet?'

The few operatives at the table around him looked to each other, taken aback by his interruption, and then looked back at Kes. One responded quietly, "Haven't heard anything yet.."

The dark haired man sighed and took his tray of gray-ish brown food to the trash compactor shoot at the opposite side of the Hall. His brown eyes scanned over the heads in the Mess Hall, searching desperately for any member of Green Squadron or the woman who held his favorite tangle of black curls upon her head. Not finding anyone, he shoved his hands in his pockets and weaved his way through the bustling Hall back towards his quarters.

As he exited the warmth of the Mess Hall and entered the bitter cold of planet 5251977's environment, the familiar roar of A-Wings sounded above him. A breath of fresh air wafted over his heart and a tender smile spread on the Yavinite's face.

The ships soared through the howling wind and snow whipping above him, pushing towards the far east hangar bay.

Kes turned from his path towards his quarters and walked with hot steps to follow the landing ships.

As Kes made his way through the piercing winds and soft snow, he noticed a trickle of people crowding the hangar entrance. Most of them were like him, hungry for a few precious moments with the person they loved. He smiled softly at the earnest Rebellion members around him as he found a spot towards the back of the crowd. He looked over the multiple ships, searching for the one known to be piloted by Shara Bey.

Pilots began to emerge from their ships, throwing their helmets to the flight techs and beaming, rushing, towards their loved ones. Relieved squeals and sniffles filled the chilly hangar.

Kes meandered through the gaggle of reunited Rebels and continued his search for his wife's ship. His heart began to quicken and his palms became clammy.

L'ulo Lampar passed the panicking man, his helmet tucked underneath his arm.

Kes's heart jumped into his throat. He reached out an arm and grabbed the Duros man by the forearm. "L'ulo!"

L'ulo jumped and a soft smile spread on his face. "Kes, what's going on?"

"Shara..." Was all that he could get out, the backs of his eyes pricking with emotion.

L'ulo jerked his head backwards towards an A-Wing just kissing the hangar floor.

Kes squeezed L'ulo's arm and began to jog towards the ship. He could see her face, pulled tight in a focused expression, as she began the powering down sequences. Heaven had come down to planet 5251977 and had somehow found Kes Dameron.

Shara finished her power down sequence and opened the airlock release to open the top of the ship.

He could hear her mumbling and unbuckling and pressing the final buttons and Kes's heart beat wildly in his throat.

She wiggled her helmet off and held it as she began to make her way down the ladder.

Kes ran to the ladder and wrapped an arm around her side as soon as he could reach her.

The woman jumped and then softened, gazing upon her husband. "Kes." She said, her voice tender.

The shape of his name in her mouth, how gracious she had been to say it aloud for him. He could feel his hands shake on her skin.

Shara jumped from the ladder to wrap herself around Kes, burying her face into his stubble-ridden neck.

The man smiled and held her tight against his body. Choosing not to speak, for he knew words would not be able to touch the tremors in his heart. He brushed a calloused hand over her dark hair and held her neck to him. A relieved moan caught in his throat.

Shara kissed his skin softly, one of her hands wrapped around his back and the other tucked in his hair. "God, I missed you."

Kes nodded, his mouth seemingly glued shut.

The pair rested there for a few moments, absorbing the other.

The lips that had been glued shut finally worked themselves free and Kes asked, "Have you talked to our little man?'

Shara chuckled, moving her mouth from his neck to smile at him warmly. "Dad says Poe's doing well."

Kes's heart burned at the thought of his young son and for a moment he saw a flicker of Poe's mischievous grin in Shara's face. He leaned in close to Shara, his lips parting softly to brush against hers.

Shara met his kiss with passion, squeezing his shoulder as their mouths worked together. Pulling away from his mouth she finished, "Dad said he's been playing with the X-Wing toy you made him."

"He's gonna want to be a pilot, Shara." Kes teased. He stepped in time with his wife back towards the hangar entrance.

Shara shook her head and patted her husband's chest. "He better not. One of us has to make it out of this thing alive."

Kes chuckled and pressed a kiss to his wife's hand. "Stop talking like that-we will be fine. Even if we told him no, you know he would learn to fly anyway. He's too much like you."

Shara rolled her eyes and congratulated L'ulo and the other members of her Green Squadron as she passed them.

Sighing blissfully, she let her head fall to Kes’s shoulder. "Let's get something to eat."

~~~~~~~~~~~

A frazzled Leia Organa slid into a seat in front of the chowing Damerons. "Kes, Shara." She greeted them and nodded.

They both looked up from their rations to smile at the Commander; Kes’s appetite having returned to him.

Leia smiled, her lips tucked into her mouth and the couple braced themselves.

"New intelligence has been gathered by our spies in the Outer Rim." The Commander began.

Kes leaned forward in his seat and stopped his chewing to make sure he heard every bit of what she was about to say.

"We think the Hutt cartel has taken Han to Tatooine. Jabba's palace to be exact." Leia's piercing eyes moved from one Dameron to the other.

"Oof." Shara exhaled, gathering another bite of salad on her fork.

Leia shifted her weight on the uncomfortable stool and took a deep breath. "Shara, I would like you and Green Squadron to scout out the palace."

Shara stopped mid-chew and Kes's deep eyes flicked between the two women.

"Commander, I just landed. I don��t even do ground work." Shara quietly protested, her breathing becoming shallow.

Leia nodded, her gaze dropped to her hands folded in her lap. "I know...I know you did. We would just need you to map the palace from above; me and Chewie are the only ones going in. This is-," She wet her lips and shook her head. "We think they have Han."

The pilot looked to her husband and saw the way his eyebrow cocked up at her, how his eyes pleaded with her to stay but the determination over his eyebrows told her to go. She pictured herself as Commander Organa. She would have asked herself to go too.

Kes's eyes wet with emotion and the flames crackling in his heart began to scorch the back of his throat. He reached out and took his wife's calloused hand. He swallowed and whispered, his gaze fallen from his wife's, "Whatever it takes."

Shara's dark eyebrows scrunched and her jaw ground itself together. She squeezed Kes's hand and ran her thumb affectionately against the top of his hand. "Whatever it takes."

Taking a shaking breath, she turned from Kes and back to Leia. "When do we leave, Commander?"

Leia's eyes gleamed with emotion. She nodded and reached out for Shara's shaking hand. The two women held hands as Leia answered, "First thing in the morning."

Shara looked down at her knees as she nodded that she understood.

Kes let out a weighted breath and closed his eyes.

"I can't-" Leia swallowed. "I can't tell you that I know what you're going through, but...I know how hard it is to try and love someone you only see once every few months. Shara, you're one of the best pilots we have." Leia seemed to be pleading. "This needs to be done quickly and without detection and I know you and your Squadron are the only ones capable of getting it done."

Shara took a deep breath. "We will get it done, Commander."

Leia gave Shara's hand one last squeeze and then stood from the table, walking quickly out of the Mess Hall.

Shara's body slumped in the seat as soon as Leia was out of eyesight. She ran a weary hand over her face and a pained expression sat upon her face.

Kes watched his wife grapple with the news, her shoulders tensing and relaxing with her catching breaths. The man rubbed a comforting hand over her back, mulling the information over in his own mind.

The weight of Shara's head on his shoulder pushed heavily upon him. "I know this won't change anything, but I can't keep it together anymore, Kes." Her normally warm voice was raw with emotion.

Kes leaned his face against her head and placed a soft hand on her cheek. His lips reached to touch the top of her dark curls. "You don't need to keep it together, babe. At least for tonight."

Shara hiccuped and pushed away from his shoulder. "Let's just go to bed."

He searched her face, the streaks of pain and disappointment discoloring her features. He took her hand and nodded as they both rose from the table.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

As Kes lay in bed, the scratchy standard issue blanket pulled tight to accommodate Shara nestled behind him, he thought of his wife. He thought of her talent behind the controls of her favorite A-Wing. He remembered her hair streaking across her face on the day that he had first met her. He could see little Poe nestled in her arms, her voice gently reciting his favorite bed time story. His wife was beautiful and unrelenting on every front, an ace pilot, a highly decorated Rebel, the love of his life and the mother of his child. He missed her even then, with her breath trickling down the crook of his neck. He missed being with her without a timetable attached. His mind drifted from the twin bed they both were squeezed into to a place much larger. A place with land and a warm sun and a home to raise their son in peace. A place where Shara could fly freely and he could tinker with old droids to his heart's delight. A place with space for Poe to play and grow and become a man Kes knew he would be proud of.

Suddenly, Shara's breath on his neck became staccatoed.

Kes moved his head slightly to make sure he wasn't imagining it.

His wife's chest beat hard against his back and he froze, struggling to figure out how to help her. Her body began to jerk backwards slightly and her hands around his waist seized.

He placed a soft hand on her forearm and whispered, "Shara."

His wife continued to dream in peril, her eyebrows pursed tightly on her face.

Kes ran his hand up and down her skin, trying to wake her gently. His heart began to pound against his throat.

Tears began to plop onto his neck from her sleeping eyes.

His body tensed now and his voice became louder. "Shara." He said, squeezing her forearm until his fingertips turned white.

Shara jerked awake, her mouth gaping and her eyes blinking in the surprising moisture.

Kes turned in bed to face his wife. "Sweetheart, what happened?"

Her chin scrunched and she raised a hand to cover her face. "I had a nightmare about Poe."

He swallowed tightly. He reached a hand out to grab her unoccupied one. "You wanna tell me about it?"

Shara shook her head no and then ran her fingers underneath her eyes, collecting the welling tears there. "I miss him, Kes."

Kes nodded. "I miss him too."

The blue light of the moon coming in from the viewport settled over the couple as Shara's sniffles began to fill up the small room. "There is a place in my heart that I keep just for you." She ran a hand through her wild curls, desperately trying to calm herself. "And I can feel it," Her voice clipped. "I can feel it growing smaller and I don't know why."

Kes's face twisted in pain for his wife, he ached to reach into her and pull the anguish out of her, to store it safely inside himself, but he knew the sobering reality was that only more anguish was to come.

"I miss you and you're right here and we're never together long enough to be...us. You know?" She added.

Kes nodded that he understood. He gently caressed her cheek, pushing her to meet his gaze.

"Shara Bey," He began. "I am with you until the end of this thing. Whether that means the notice of death signing, or whatever it is we choose to do after this. I'm going to be right beside you when you do it."

His wife's tears began again at the tenderness of the heart inside of the battle hardened man laying next to her.

"We will be us again. One day, we won't have to be here. This thing will be over and we will just be us. And Poe, of course."

Shara smiled and nodded at the thought of her son.

"You are the only thing I'm sure of in this war. We just have to kick the buckethead's asses and then we'll be done. We can go somewhere, anywhere we want, and take Poe with us. I'll build us a big house and a landing pad for your A-Wing and you can plant your garden-"

Shara's face softened, imagining the warmth and comfort of the yarn Kes was spinning. She could feel her heart settle into the safety of Kes next to her, to the warm bed below her and the thought of Poe playing in a big backyard, his tiny head of charcoal colored hair shining in the sunlight.

"Time has passed and time will pass without us realizing until we look back at it." Kes whispered. "This war and this moment will be a memory and someday our biggest worry will be making sure Poe doesn't start running spice or something." Kes embellished the last of his sentence, pulling a smile out of Shara.

"Let's just be here. Pretend like it's just you and me and the moon." He finished.

Shara nodded, her eyes falling from her husband's and fixating on the collar of his t-shirt. "Okay." She mouthed, her throat coated thick with emotion.

Kes wrapped himself around her, tucking her face into his neck and weaving his legs around hers. He softly ran his hand over her hair, over and over again, lulling her back to peaceful sleep. His watchful eyes now becoming heavy with the weight of the night around them and the knowledge that she would be gone when he woke up and this evening would become a figment of his imagination, much like Shara Bey sometimes seemed to him. A goddess wandering so far from her throne to find him, her touch so very scarce it felt like Heaven on his skin, and her voice so bright it filled his lungs with light.

"Good night, Shara." He whispered, his lips touching her ear softly.

She hummed softly in response, her mind already drifting out of her grasp and to sleep.

As Kes allowed his eyes to close, he tucked this evening with Shara away in his thoughts, constructing a home for it in his mind, locking it away and keeping it pure for the moments when his heart became too heavy to hold without her. One by one, the grip Kes had kept so tightly on this moment began to relax, pressure releasing from his shoulders and at the base of his neck, and he could feel himself fall into dreams, mirages maybe, of a life unbridled by the passion and demands of the Rebellion. How fragile, how cruel, the galaxy had revealed itself to be and how it all could never outweigh the goodness of Shara Bey and Poe Dameron. Every disappointment, every surge of adrenaline, every close call, paled in comparison to those two.

"Whatever it takes." Kes whispered, as sleep pulled him fully into it's soft embrace.

SHARA AND KES TAGLIST: @fanfiction-trashpile-replies @itspdameronthings

ANY/ EVERYTHING TAGLIST: @mcolbz14

What did you think? I really hope you enjoyed reading my work. Just your liking / re-blogging it means a lot. If you have a moment, I would love to hear your thoughts! Tell me what you think via my ask box or a comment always warms my heart!! Thank you again for reading!

Need more reading material? You can visit my Masterlist for more Poe Dameron content, as well as my other works.

Want to be kept in the loop? Let me know so I can put your handle in my taglist form. Right now, I’m writing for Poe Dameron, Santiago Garcia, Kes and Shara, and Din Djarin; but I have plans to expand my SW character list, and eventually add in my favorites from the MCU as well.

Thanks again for reading! Sending love! -hai

#shara bey #kes dameron #angst #sw fic #sw angst #ot angst #hai writes #shara bey x kes dameron

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