#l/n deserve better than School Uniform

[cinnabeat]

its been months but im still not over how like. sanitized the 3rd anniversary unit outfits are for prsk like theyre so ugly and bland i hate them

[burnedbyshoto]

kacchan, kaacchan, kaachan

— “Your real fucking Kaa-chan is going to fuck your brains out and make sure that you can’t say that stupid fucking nickname to Bakugou without getting hard and remembering what I’m about to do to you, Deku,” you practically snarled into Izuku’s ear as you rut the silicone veined cock between his ready, supple cheeks. “Now, what’s my fucking name?”

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

pairing: midoriya izuku x fem!reader

warnings: 18+, smut, mommy kink, dom!reader, sub!izuku, pegging, jealous!reader, degradation, anal fingering, begging, crying, marking and biting, best friends(?) bkdk

word count: 6,520

a/n: I have transcended. im sorry, this is now my favorite fic. im... ohhh mama, I just froth at this idea so much, please if you aren’t so utterly disgusted by mommy kink or bkdk pray you read this. p l e a s e.

kinktober day 13 main kink: pegging | kinktober masterlist

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

“I fucking hate them,” you growled, temples throbbing in your anger, fingers clutching your drink. “I’m going to kill Izuku and his stupid fucking Kacchan.”

You met Midoriya Izuku before high school. At the time, you had been a sweating, nervous middle schooler who was applying for Yuuei, who was sitting right next to him during the entrance exam. Despite the way your hands were shaking the entire time you were taking the test, and the way your stomach felt seconds from exiting your abdominal cavity and falling straight onto your lap, you smiled. You kept watching the green-haired boy next you continue to fanboy over the smallest of things. 

Through this, you had also met Bakugou Katsuki. You had initially thought the two of them were friends, well with the rather weird nicknames they had for each other, and then the small disgruntled comment on not being able to work together with friends. 

After being dismissed to go change out of your school uniforms, you had tapped on the green-haired boy. He was muttering a storm under his breath. He wasn’t much taller than you, and his green eyes were shot wide when you thanked him for making you less nervous. He didn’t say anything back to you, a red blush bright on his face as you wished him luck before racing off.

So on the first day of high school, on the fated orientation day, you had been surprised to see that Midoriya and Bakugou nearly fought. They weren’t friends, you quickly figured out, a small frown on your face as Aizawa-sensei dropped Bakugou from his capture weapon. It didn’t take much for you to become friends with the initially timid, but entirely confident Midoriya Izuku. The two of you were fast friends, and before long after watching countless times where Midoriya and Bakugou would be at each other's throats to only be okay within the next few hours.

It confused you entirely.

Eventually, one day on your way home together one night, you finally asked Midoriya.

Midoriya had frowned, his eyes looking out of the speeding window as he slowly explained his relationship with Bakugou to you. He explained that he and Bakugou were childhood friends, having first met when they were three years old. They had been good friends, best friends if it was possible to have one back then. Then, their quirks appeared, and Bakugou received endless praise and awe — it was a changing point in their relationship since Midoriya explained that he was a rare individual who only manifested his quirk within the last few years. So while Bakugou had never put him down for being quirkless, a single moment happened when they were about six years old, wandering in a gated woods area, and Midoriya went to see if Bakugou — who had fallen from a great height — was okay. From that moment on, something flipped inside Bakugou, and he lashed out. He smiled sadly, admitting without a lick of doubt that Bakugou was a jerk to him, a real asshole.

As if to save Bakugou from an ill opinion from you, Midoriya quickly imputed that Bakugou was still one of the lesser antagonizers he had in middle school and at the end of grade school. Most of his other classmates had been his bigger bullies. Still, because Bakugou was just different to both him and the school as a whole, the few times he antagonized Midoriya, it seemed to wave into ripples that turned into tsunami wave crashes. Midoriya had explained that he had gone too far in a single instance and that it still hurt thinking about it. He would like an apology from Bakugou but didn’t know how or if it would happen. After all, Bakugou hadn’t bullied or antagonized him at all for the last full year.

You had taken it all in, watching the small green-haired boy look both sad and determined as the metro pulled into your station.

“You still want to be friends with him, huh?” you asked, ignoring the people clambering out and in of the vehicle. 

Midoriya had looked at you with wide eyes and his teeth bitten, swollen lips pressed into a flat line, his head dropping, “Is it weird that I do?”

Chuckling, you shook your head, moving to leave the metro, “A little, you guys definitely will have to put some work into it, but hey, as long as you know that he’s done you wrong before, I think you deserve to find out if you two can make it work again.”

That had happened at the end of your first month of school.

At the end of your second year of school, you had confessed your feelings to Midoriya Izuku, who thankfully, returned your feelings.

At the end of your third year of school, you had watched with bright eyes and a great smile as your boyfriend hugged his childhood friend Bakugou Katsuki as the graduation streamers and confetti still swirled in the air. You and your entire group of female friends, who for the past two years had been trying to get both boys to confess that they were best friends with each other, seemed to have succeeded. They had obviously been friends by the end of the first year; both boys have gotten to speak on their many different feelings and thoughts at the end of the first year. But it had taken seven girls, two more years, and a late-night discussion between you and Izuku for you to figure out that no matter what happened with his relationship with his Kacchan, he would be at peace with it. He had chased him for so long, for such crazy lengths and obstacles that the moment when they found peace, he had accepted it.

But you knew what would happen if you had gotten the ever so annoying, permanent tsundere of Bakugou Katsuki to admit where the lengths of their friendship were at currently. You had guessed correctly because Izuku was absolutely sobbing as Bakugou hugged him. It could have been an awkward moment between them. The two of them never touched one another unless it was because they were roughhousing, training, or assisting one another in the middle of a fight. But your heart warmed at the sight of your boyfriend, entirely built and tall as he was now, blushing as he still does, scarred fingers and arms holding his Kacchan tight, the happy tears on his face rushing down his cheeks as Bakugou seemed to be blinking up a storm.

You have succeeded.

Best friends, you squealed internally, grabbing the girls and walking away to take some photos together. You had finally gotten them to admit that they were best friends again.

It should have made you happy, and for a while, it did make you glad to know your loving boyfriend was over the moon happy to have this small detail confirmed with him, but two years post-graduation, it was straight up annoying and made you somewhat... livid. 

It started when your classmates began to whisper about how strong you were to let Izuku and Bakugou be that close. Then reporters asked about how you felt about the Wonder Duo’s relationship outside of the field. Fans straight up saying that they liked them better than you and Izuku, fans asking if you felt lesser than Ground Zero in Pro Hero Deku’s life. At first, you had always expressed your truths, you didn’t care what others thought because you knew the truth, but they must have been annoying you for so damn long that you were beginning to feel doubtful, just the tad bit anxious. 

Izuku had asked if you wanted to go to a bar for a night of some drinking. Well, with the both of you not having work tomorrow, you had agreed. It had been a while since the two of you had been able to do anything. So a night at the bar the two of you frequented a lot was a great start to a long night the two of you were undoubtedly going to have if the lace panties under your skirt had anything to say about it. You thanked the gods of every deity every night for making your boyfriend such a stupid pervert that a single whisper of what you were wearing would have him turning red and stumbling out of the bar to get you home immediately.

Well, that was the plan.

But no, nope, nope, nope, nope.

In the middle of your flirting session with Izuku, who still could not keep up with your quick, slick tongue, his phone had rung. It wasn’t abnormal that it went off, he was an incredibly gifted hero, and with his recent sort of permanent team up with his Kacchan to form a hero duo, they were hot shit.

But it wasn’t a work call.

No, it took two seconds to figure that out because Izuku had placed his phone to his ear, his cheeks pink, and eyes sparkling as he immediately chirped out: “Kacchan! Hi!”

And just like that, your flirtatious mood had been stomped on and stabbed over into one of annoyance.

Your boyfriend was a hero otaku; that was something you knew the very moment you met him when both of you were merely fifteen. From that moment on, when your crush was formed on the excitable, blushing otaku, you knew that should you become his girlfriend, there would only be two people above you.

Midoriya Inko then All Might.

Both of those people were completely understandable.

Inko was the best mother in the world, and as Izuku’s most significant and first support system, you didn’t mind losing out to her. She was a fucking sweetheart, after all.

All Might was a slightly annoying one, but as your boyfriend's mentor and father figure, you understood. Plus, the scrawny man was also a sweetheart who flustered over Izuku almost as much as Inko did.

But, you didn’t and couldn’t believe that Bakugou ‘Kacchan’ fucking Katsuki would be challenging your place as third in the most critical person in Midoriya Izuku’s life. You wouldn’t sit idly by on it.

Taking another long, deep chug of the heavy in alcohol percentage drink in your hand, your anger seemed to be at an all-time high. 

Kacchan, Kacchan, Kacchan.

That stupid fucking nickname seemed to pour like liquid gold from Izuku’s mouth.

Kacchan this, Kacchan that, Kacchan yes, Kacchan no.

You knocked back yet another fucking drink, slamming the glass onto the bar counter, demanding another one as Izuku’s deep stupid voice seemed to turn airy as he laughed at something Bakugou Katsuki said. Bakugou Katsuki, who didn’t ever tell jokes because everything he said was stupidly not funny and hated being not serious even for a single second, was making your stupidly thick, built, and strong boyfriend giggle like a schoolgirl. Izuku only laughed like that around you?!

Oh, fucking, no, you realized, your back straightening, your eyes blazing into Izuku’s side profile that still illuminated the deep, intensity of his blinding happy smile. 

“Kacchaaannn!” Izuku suddenly whined, his lips pressing into a pout that wouldn’t form because of his stupid, irritatingly handsome smile. “That’s not fair!”

Growling under your breath, you grabbed the new drink presented to you by the bartender and began chugging.

Kacchan, Kacchan, Kacchan.

Kacchan, Kaacchan, Kaa-chan.

You spluttered, your head light and fuzzy with the inhibiting alcohol as you heard Izuku still rambling on the phone to his dumb fucking Kacchan.

‘Did he just?’ you thought, entirely unprepared for that name to whisper from his mouth.

Kaa-chan, Kaa-chan, Kaa-chan.

You stopped a broken moan from spilling from your mouth at that word. Despite the coursing alcohol in your veins and the way it typically made you hornier slower, that slightly whiny, entirely Izuku’s tone when he said what your horny brain to be interpreting as Kaa-chan, your panties became wet immediately.

“Izuku,” you breathed — almost whined — into his ear. Your chest pressed against his muscled arm—your mouth pressing open-mouthed kisses to the back of his ear before biting down on his earlobe. 

“Y-Y-Yes, y/n?” Izuku stammered, his face flushing, mind entirely lost at the feeling of your breasts pressing onto his arm and probably his stupid Kacchan’s voice in his other ear. 

“I’m wearing those panties you really, really like,” you moaned softly into his ear, your teeth nibbling on his earlobe.

You never heard Izuku hang up so quickly on his Kacchan as he downed his drink and quickly followed after you, a puppy at your heels.

The two of you made it home, mouths pressing fervently together, fingers in each other’s hair and clothes. You giggled when you managed to push your much larger boyfriend into the door the moment you both managed to enter your apartment. 

His scarred fingers had invaded the underneath of your skirt, already pressing his fingertips to the lacey fabric. He moaned against your mouth, his hands pervertedly gripping your full ass in his large, hot palms. 

“Call me Kaa-chan,” you suddenly moaned, your mouth tearing away from Izuku’s reveling in the fact that he tried to chase after your mouth. It was at moments like this that being so much smaller than your skyscraper of your boyfriend helped — the third year of high school had made your entire male classmates grow an additional near one hundred centimeters, fucking ridiculous. 

“W-What?!” Izuku spluttered, his eyes wide but still entirely glazed over with his lust.

“Kaa-chan,” you slur, the alcohol in your veins and his kisses on your lips, making your brain mush. “Call me, Kaa-chan, please!”

“I-I can’t? I’m not going to call you, Kacchan! T-That’s so weird? You don’t even look like him, and even if you did, I’m sure that would be entirely not okay! That’s Kacchan’s nickname, and for me to just use it in bed would make me think that I’m having sex with Kacchan, and I bet you’d agree about how not okay that would be! Imagine that! That would be not okay, but if there’s anything else you want me to call you in bed, although, you do have the best reactions to me whenever I call you—” Izuku rambled, his eyes searching the dark hallway for something to focus on. His face red with slight humiliation and his muttering tongue speeding so fast you could barely keep up with his sentences with your drunken brain. 

“Not Kacchan,” you roll your eyes, your hands pressed to his side, trapping him between your arms — something that was a hilarious sight. “Kaa-chan, Izuku-chan, Kaa-chan.”

“O-Oh.”

You pulled away from the wall, your eyes bright with what you thought would finally be the tipping point in your biggest kink finding a spot in your sex life with Izuku.

But Izuku begins laughing, his head shaking quickly, the laughter so loud that you watch literal tears form in his eyes as he stands there. Your cunt suddenly feels dry.

“I-I can’t do that,” Izuku finally manages to press through, his hand on his stomach as small laughs still manage to breakthrough. “Oh, god, no, I can’t. I’ll always think of Kacchan when — if I call you kaa-chan.”

Your lips pressed together, anger flushing through your blood as you nod your head once.

“Fine.”

“Y-Y/n!” Izuku bawks, his eyes wide as he quickly understood that he hurt your feelings with that outburst of his. “W-Wait, I mean—”

“No need,” you cement over, lips pursed in your shaking anger. “Give me some time alone, please.”

Izuku can only watch with wide, tearful eyes as you guide him out of your apartment, and you don’t look at him when you close the door, too afraid of what those puppy dog eyes would do to you. You needed time after being laughed at like that; your pride demanded it.

.

..

.

It took less than five hours for you to forgive Izuku. He had stayed in the hallway of your apartment. Sitting outside of your door, waiting for you to message him of some sort about wanting to talk. You hadn’t precisely forgiven him, just wouldn’t allow your more often than not perfect boyfriend to be trapped outside, sleeping in a terrible position on your day off. So at nearly two am, your eyes refusing to close and fall asleep, you trudged to your front door and demanded he gets in or else he’d sleep in the hallway.

Izuku had looked up at you with tired, sad eyes, and your throat tightened as you looked away with a huff. He had gotten to his feet and walked into your apartment, kissing you softly as the door closed behind the two of you. Despite you having been the one to kick him out earlier, he carried you to your room as you began to cry again. He undressed to just his boxers, and the two of you cuddled each other before the both of you fell asleep, feeling slightly better.

Although you hated to admit it, everything was back to normal the following morning.

Well, that is until the fateful day when you were straddled across Izuku’s waist, his thick, long cock stretching you out as much as it felt that first time you fucked, riding him until his hands left bruising prints on your hips. You knew what made Izuku tick, moan, and go absolutely feral in bed; you knew him so well, and if the indicating throbbing of his swollen cock had anything to say, was that he was seconds from cumming.

Again, this was a fateful day.

His work phone suddenly screeched at the nightstand, and you both screamed at the horror.

What was happening?!

Not bothering to unmount from his cock, Izuku grabbed his phone and placed it to his ear.

“Hello, Deku, speaking!”

You pouted from on top of him, still rather pleased that his cock was still firm within you, and you watched his face, ready to send the blood in his cock right back to his head and get him out the front door if it was an emergency.

“K-KACCHAN?! THIS ISN’T AN EMERGENCY!” Izuku screamed, his face pounding red as his free arm collapsed over his eyes.

You were going to kill motherfucking shithead, Bakugou Katsuki.

Your eyes narrowed, and with the fury of being cockblocked by your boyfriend's stupid best friend in a whole new way, you began to shift your hips against his cock. Your hips rising and falling as you continued to fuck Izuku, uncaring that he was on the phone.

Izuku, never having been good at being secretive, let out a strangled choke and a moan, his hand thrown over his eyes trying to get a solid hold on your hips to keep you from fucking yourself against him. He froze, his face exploding with heat the moment you forcibly clenched around his thick length, “I-I-I’m at y/n’s apartment! Kacchan! NO! We were having sex!”

Rolling your eyes, you knew he was going to blab that secret out.

“We are having sex right now, K-Kacchan!” Izuku whimpered, downright hilarious of the brick wall of a pro hero could do. “Kacchan, that’s not fair! You called on my emergency-only phone! Of course, I was going to pick up!”

Red bled into your vision as you realized that Bakugou undoubtedly was talking shit about your ability to fuck your own boyfriend. 

“Kacchan!” Izuku groaned again, but you were far past the point of being okay with this situation.

Grabbing the phone from Izuku’s hand, you slammed the phone to your ear, listening to the chortling laughter of Bakugou fucking Katsuki.

“You fucking piece of fucking shit, try calling this number again without a proper fucking emergency next time, and I’ll kill. you!” you spat into the phone, your blood boiling as the laughter on the other side of the line stopped, only for you to be met with an irritated and challenge-accepted growl of Bakugou Katsuki, who was seconds from responding back with his own threat and challenge. But you hung up, chucking the phone into the corner of the room before setting your sight on Izuku who’s eyes and pupils were blown wide.

You couldn’t even begin to process that your words had turned Izuku on; you could barely feel his throbbing, twitching cock buried deep in your womb because your inner walls held a vice, unbreakable grip on him. Kacchan, Kacchan, Kacchan, Kacchan, Kacchan, Kacchan. You had finally heard that stupid fucking nickname in bed, and still, the way it was said and who it was for wasn’t for you, and you were absolutely frothing.

“Kacchan, Kacchan, Kacchan,” you spit out, fury and animosity, your hips still slamming down on his cock, Izuku’s scarred hands once again reaching for your waist. “Is there any other fucking name you can ramble in bed?!”

Izuku cries out, his hips snapping up to meet yours, the echoing slap of your meeting sexes still not loud enough to tune out your angry, abhorrent thoughts. 

“N-No?!” Izuku stammers out, confusion heavy on his tongue, and you know why, but you don’t care. “I-I-I don’t! What else am I supposed to sayyyy oh my god, baby! What am I supposed to call Kacchan?!”

A cold shiver runs down your spine, and you smile slowly. You wait for green eyes to open and lock on you before your smile becomes cunning, altogether ferocious, and biting as your hand reaches out and grabs the curls at the nape of his neck. You yank on the hair towards you, watching as his neck arches, and you coo at the breathless gasp that spills from his mouth as your lips are at his ear, his cock threatening to slip out of your boiling cunt at this new angle. There’s a growl on your tone, your lips brushing against the soft cartilage of his ear. “Say Kaa-chan, Kaa-chan, Kaa-chan. Since you fucking want your damn fucking Kacchan so badly that you can’t even indulge in my little nickname, I’ll make sure to ruin the damn fucking nickname for you forever.”

You pull away, your hissing words sitting heavy in his ears as you slip off his cock and stumble to the closet for your toys. 

Izuku lets out a needy noise, his breaths pathetic gasps as he looks at you and away, unable to fully comprehend just what you were planning on doing to him.

Slamming open the closet, you grab the plastic tinted box in the closet, throwing it open and grabbing three items.

One: your pretty green harness. 

You had bought at a sex shop store you frequent whenever you were bored and alone. About six months ago, this particular sex shop had obtained rights to sell Pro Hero styled lingerie and sex toys. This harness was modeled after Izuku’s costume, and you bought it to surprise him with whenever you two got into pegging.

Two: the bottle of lube.

Also purchased from the sex shop. Apparently, it was a lube that was both super cold and hot — obviously modeled after Todoroki. It would start off as cold on the skin before warming up to temperatures that were guaranteed to make people shriek and moan like porn stars.

And last, but definitely not least, your ace up your sleeve: the strap on dildo.

At the same sex shop, they had released a limited quantity, a one-week available dildo that was nearly impossible to accept was a thing. Along their wall of many, many different shapes and sizes of dildos had sat seven limited dildos made from the cocks of pro heroes.

One of which being Ground Fucking Zero: Bakugou Katsuki.

You’re not sure what possessed you into buying it, but you did. The dildo modeled after Bakugou’s own cock was now something you possessed, something you hid from Izuku’s sight at all times. The cock was about eight, nearly nine inches, maintaining a fat, swollen head and base, with thick veins running through its length. 

The dildo itself was completely minimalist, jet black with only the Ground Zero’s logo painted to the bottom of the curve, but if you were to do this, Izuku wouldn’t know it was his best friend's cock until you were done with him. 

Throwing your legs through the harness, you turn your head to lock eyes with Izuku’s bright eyes that are taking in your every move. You fasten the ties, making them just a tad bit tight around your thighs and waist because you knew that Izuku loved seeing the divot in your skin. 

Your eyes are peering through your lashes to look at him, your frown becoming a confident, biting smirk as you attach the dildo, immediately covering your hand with the cold lube before slicking up the silicone cock. Izuku watches you with shaking thighs as you climb back onto the bed, your eyes dark, dangerous, as your fingers drag down his toned and muscled calves.

“Get on your fucking hands and knees like the fucking good boy you are,” you growl out the command, your fingernails digging into his skin. “Show your cute fucking ass to your Kaa-chan.”

Izuku let out a heavy moan as his body quickly shifted over, he got up onto his knees, but he went a step further by pressing onto his knees, letting his scarred back curve beautifully for you. 

You groan at the sight, Izuku's large, muscled ass on full display for you. His body trembles and shakes with every breath he takes and how his muscles are tight with his nervousness. His little asshole clenching and tightening at the air, undoubtedly ready to have you press the cock into him. You groan, your hand that's slick with the lube becoming warmer with the intended promise of the lube, and your grin when you grip his supple asscheeks between your hands, delighting at the way his flesh molds within your hands.

“You have such a pretty little ass, baby boy,” you moan, your index finger circling around the rim of his pert, tight hole. You lean in closer, your hot breaths spilling across his muscle that sends it spasming in its attempts to clench around nothing. “What do you want your Kaa-chan to do?”

Izuku stammers, his mouth unable to form any sort of coherent sentence as you lather your fingers in the cold lube, and without much of an introduction, you slide your slick, cold index finger into his hole. Izuku cries loudly when you move your finger inside of his ass, and you smirk at the sight of his twisted with delirium face before you. Eyes crossed, tongue hanging out as your finger dives into his ass. 

“Does this feel good, baby?” you ask, finger curling deep within his ass.

He can’t find the energy to speak, but strangled noises of approval are made, and his hips shift back onto your thrusting finger.

You enter a new finger, stretching out his tight muscle even further, your two fingers reaching a further depth and more manageable pace than you had before. You grin at the way Izuku begins to fuck himself against your fingers, his asshole looking as if it swallows your fingers as your dildo ruts against his leaking cock. Izuku's chest collapses onto the mattress when you glide your free hand against both the dildo and his cock as you continue to finger his ass — a third finger eventually joining.

“God, your ass is so fucking slutty, sweetie,” you groan, absolutely obsessed with the pink haze on Izuku’s cheeks and the growing moans. “Is your Kaa-chan making you feel good? Kaa-chan promises that she’ll protect you through everything!”

Izuku spams, a loud cry of your name as your fingernails scratch at his walls, and his hips buck further into your fingers deep in his ass before rutting back into your hand, stroking his cock. You coo at how he is clearly enjoying it, chest-thumping with how he clearly wants more, and how you intend to give him more. A sadistic smile carved onto your face as his rambling begins to take shape begins to actually have meaning behind it except the whining, pitiful cries.

“You are!” Izuku finally manages to gasp, his ass slamming back onto your curled three fingers. The lube is now hot as it can grow, and Izuku is obsessed with the heat in his ass. “You’re doing this to me, y/n!”

You freeze, fingers freezing in his ass as Izuku once again refused to call you Kaa-chan.

Well then.

Freeing your fingers from deep in his ass, your upper lip curled into a snarl as you doused the Ground Zero dildo with the ice-cold lube, your blood roaring in your ear. It just seemed that you were going to have to take that nickname by force.

Slapping the lube coated dildo between the valley of his pretty, beautiful asscheeks, you grabbed his head of curls, snapping his head back so that his ear was a lick away. “Listen to what I’m about to fucking do, I-zu-ku,” you accentuate his name, your free hand gripping his slick cock, and fisting it slowly, your grip tightening whenever he tried to rut into your grip. “Your real fucking Kaa-chan is going to fuck your brains out and make sure that you can’t say that stupid fucking nickname to Bakugou without getting hard and remembering what I’m about to do to you, Deku,” you practically snarled into Izuku’s ear. Izuku freezes for a second, deep flushed red exploding on his face before he moans loudly, face burying into the mattress as you rut the silicone veined cock between his ready, supple cheeks. “Now, what’s my fucking name?”

“Kacchan…” Deku’s mouth fumbles, unable to find that distinction even like this, but that’s okay, you got time.

“Again, Deku,” you snap, watching as a shiver slams down his spine at the nickname, and you press the head of the cold, lube coated dildo against his ready, clenching asshole.

“Kaa-aachan!” Deku moans loudly, and you press the head of the black dildo into his ass, watching as his slutty little ass swallows the head without a single problem. His back arches further, and his ass shakes as you keep him from falling further on his Kacchan’s cock.

“Are you having that much fucking trouble distinguishing who’s fucking you right now, Deku?!” you practically seethe, your fingernails digging into his firm, plump ass before beginning to drag the cockhead away.

“No!” Deku sobs, his ass pathetically following after your exiting cock. “I’m not Kaa-chan, I promise!”

Oh, the golden words you’ve been looking for.

With a widespread, near-feral grin, you slammed the whole cock within him, not stopping until you couldn’t see the black of the dildo, and your thighs were pressed against his ass. The noises that spilled from Izuku’s mouth with sinful, lewd, and made you think for a second the hot and cold lube was in your cunt. His mouth continued to speak at a speed you couldn’t understand, his ass greedily sucking the dildo in with no thought to return it.

“I-It feels so good!” Deku cries, his ass slapping backward onto your strap. “Your cock is so good!”

“Damn fucking right it is, Deku,” you laughed, hands gripping his hips and with a determined show to make sure he knew just who the superior Kaacchan was, you began to rut your hips back up again his. 

Your pace was a lot faster than Deku’s, thighs crashing against his ass with every successive pound of your hips. Deku, who’s always been so good about being responsive in bed, is crying and moaning like a bitch in heat. His moans are endless and delightfully loud, his ass slamming backward to meet your rutting hips, and you can't help but land a loud spank against his sweet ass.

“How is this feeling, Deku? Tell your Kaa-chan how your shitty little hole is feeling?” you laugh, your body leaning over his, your lips and teeth marking up his sweaty, scarred back with bites marks and hickies. “Tell your Kaa-chan how it feels to have your shitty asshole fucked like this?”

“It feels sooo good, Kaa-chan!” Deku sobs and you shiver at the power behind that stupid little nickname. “My Kaa-chan is making me feel so good, so loved! Kaa-chan’s cock is stretching my ass out so good, her cock makes my stomach and ass feel so funny, but I d-don’t want it to end!”

His back is arched, and his fingers can no longer clutch the fabric of the mattress, and it’s all overwhelming as you fuck into him faster, more demanding, with more intention to have him be yours forever.

“My precious little Deku looks so fucking cute when he’s crying for his Kaa-chan,” you pant, your thrusts becoming sloppier with your heightened pleasure, knowing just whose cock he was crying for. His stupid Kacchan could never do this. 

The raw noises of wanton pleasure rip from Deku’s throat and his ass comes down to fuck back on your strap on with greater power, faster speed. You keep up, though, you have to prove your worth, you’ll fuck his brains out until the only thing he can call you is his Kaa-chan. You grip his hips, your knees shifting as you find a new angle, a better angle as you drill the cock in faster and further in, bottoming out in him with every stroke of your bucking hips. 

“Fuck!” he screams, his knees almost wholly giving out on you as you drive against his prostate. The cock and angle you had quickly allowing you such a pleasure as you fuck into him faster. And upon the tenth slam against his prostate, Deku is shouting. “Fuck, fuck, fuck Kaa-chan!”

Drool is pouring onto the bed, and you feel on fire as Deku continues to whimper, continues to cry your name, claiming that his Kaa-chan has never made him feel this good before. Your hands move from his waist and find themselves latched onto his curls and fisting his cock again. The power that hums through your body makes you see stars as he cries at the pain of having his hair yanked backward, and having your fingers press against the head of his weeping, pre-cum drenched cock.

“Oh, poor pathetic Deku,” you snarl despite the grin on your face, sweat drips down your temple, and you laugh. “Does your pathetic fucking cock need to cum? Do you need to cum while your Kaa-chan’s cock fucks you?”

“Y-Yes Kaa-chan!” Deku screams, his tongue falling from his mouth, his eyes dazed in his hysteria. “Yes, Kaa-chan! I want to cum on your cock, please let me cum on your cock!”

Your cunt throbs from your arousal and lack of stimulus, but the apparent slick in your lips that is slowly dripping down your thighs, makes your next train of thought seem worlds apart hot. The hand in his curls fists his hair harder, snapping Deku closer, making his back arch further. The hand around his cock pinches his cock head together, a pain you had discovered that never failed to get him to cum. And your hips, the hips that drove the Ground Zero dildo further into his tight, greedy asshole, slammed viciously and barbarically into his pretty little asshole.

Deku praises your cock again, his eyes fluttering shut as he cries for his Kaa-chan’s cock, and in a blind fit of victory, your lips press against his ear and whisper to him the truth.

“I’m actually fucking you with your Kacchan’s cock,” you admit, feeling Deku go rigid beneath you. “I know you know what I’m talking about, Deku. So yes, I bought it just to fuck you with it, and look! It’s Kacchan’s cock, but it's your Kaa-chan who’s making you feel so. good. with it!”

And with one last driving slam of Kacchans cock into Deku’s slutty, needy hole, you can feel his cock spasm within your hold, and the way his ass tightens beautifully around the dildo, and he collapses with a pitiful, pathetic: “Oh my god.”

Your hand is coated in his hot, heavy load of cum. You pull away from him, and you laugh, watching as Deku moves onto his back, his eyes fluttering with a million emotions as you bring your hand to your mouth and lick his musty cum clean from your hand. 

“Now,” you cough, slipping the harness from your waist and thighs and climbing back onto his awaiting, still semi-hard cock. You moaned at the feeling of his cock hardening back within your crazy soaked cunt. “Kaa-chan wants you to suck your Kaa-chan’s tits, and then you’ll be rewarded for being. So. Good.”

His eyes swim with uncertainty before he blinks, his hips rutting up to meet your cunt, and his mouth latching onto your needy nipple.

“Anything for you, Kaa-chan.”

⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆⋄⋆⊹⋄⋆

Bonus!

Due to Bakugou calling on Izuku’s emergency-only phone, Bakugou had come over with an apology dinner made for the two of you. You sat at the table, Bakugou sitting in front of you, Izuku, to your side in the square table Izuku owned. 

Bakugou was already frowning, his body language trying to hide the apparent surprise that went through him when Izuku opened the door and greeted him as ‘Bakugou-kun!’ 

Had you known his reaction would be that pathetic, you wouldn’t have bothered to accept his dinner. You would have sufficed with that moment being caught on camera instead.

But no, Izuku loved Bakugou’s cooking, and you were now sitting here, glaring at Bakugou, who was glaring right back at you.

However, you knew Bakugou wanted to understand why his childhood nickname had suddenly been abandoned, and you had strategically placed Izuku’s favorite drink near the empty seat. Closer to you than it was to Bakugou because you knew that asshole was quicker than most.

“Oh, Kaa-chan, do you mind passing me my drink?” Izuku asked before flushing at the realization of what he called you in front of Bakugou.

But Bakugou didn’t notice, how could he?

Because both of you had made for his drink, and you just managed to snatch it before Bakugou did as you watched in evil elation as Bakugou quickly placed two and two together. Handing the glass to Izuku, you smiled, as he stammered out an embarrassed thank you.

“Sorry, boys, I’m actually needed somewhere tonight,” you lie, rising to your feet as Bakugou’s eyes rage with something you can’t name but love nonetheless. “I’ll leave you two alone, I’ll be back!”

You don’t let Izuku’s embarrassed begs for you to say deter you, your fingers grabbing your boyfriend by the chin before kissing him deeply, shoving your tongue into his mouth for good measure as you look at the still, void Bakugou when you break away.

You don’t know what happens as you leave, but the way that Izuku’s less superior Kacchan snaps his name makes your toes curl with pleasure.

Oh, you really liked this.

[whack-ed]

Never (Draco Malfoy x Reader)

Synopsis: Y/N and Draco had a fight, and after so much time together, do they split up? Could it end like this? It is not in the personality of either to give up that easly.

Warnings: angsty; bad language; flyffy ending.

Reader: Female

Word count: 2.5k

A/N: That was an anonymous request, so that’s it, I hope you like it!

Taglist:  @nebulablakemurphy​ @jamilelucato​  let me know if you want me to add you in my taglist ;)

Everyone at Hogwarts knew who Draco and Y/N were. Perhaps the most powerful couple in that school. The two commanded and disbanded in Slytherin. There was no student who was not even a little uncomfortable around them. But most preferred the two together rather than apart. Y/N could be very proud when something - or someone - inflicted her ego. Draco then, could be worse, he was never wrong. So knowing how the two would become more unbearable if they ever broke up, they preferred to put up with the green-colored monarchy they imposed on their house.

But unfortunately, for the bad luck of many, the worst happened. After being together since their fourth year, Y/N and Draco had broken up. Or is that what everyone thought. It was close to Christmas when it happened, thankfully, but It still had another month of real hell at Hogwarts. The ending was not even for such a relevant reason, but it seems that none of the two would take of your high heels to understand the other side.

“Look how ridiculous, I would be ashamed of being a hufflepuff and still be forced to wear a hair like that” Draco said as he passed a first year in the yellow uniform. Y/N who was on his side, looked at him madly. She never understood why Draco was so mean to others.

“Why do you do that, huh, Draco? The boy was doing nothing! You don’t have to be an asshole with everyone.” Y/N said with small signs of anger in hers speech. Draco stopped walking and looked at his girlfriend indignantly.

“Are you defending a hufflepuff, Y/N? What a pathetic thing.” He didn’t laugh like he did at the end of one of his sarcastic comments, since after all, this time he was talking very seriously.

“Hello? Pathetic?! Draco the boy was at most 12 years old! The school can already be difficult enough without a git filling the patience all the time!” People around there already beginning to look at the couple’s fight. Some frightened others curious, but no one threatened to get too close to angry Slytherins.

"Impressive. I didn’t know you liked people like that.” Draco made the best reproach face he could and looked Y/N in disgust. The girl’s blood boiled. Who does he think he was to be able to talk to her like that?!

“I thought you could have matured a little since your second year! But it looks like I was wrong. I always thought the way you implied with Potter was ridiculous, but I thought you could change, right, 16 years old Draco, you don’t need that anymore, right?” And Y/N didn’t contain a word, said everything she was trying to say for days, weeks, maybe months for her boyfriend, but she never found the right moment. And maybe, that one wasn’t either.

"Oh yes? If I’m mature enough why we’re still together then?! ” Draco screamed loudly, unintentionally, but everyone within a radius of at least 3km could hear. Some Slytherin students who passed close to them both had their fingers crossed to prevent what was going to happen. Y/N then raised her eyebrows, she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She simply adjusted her uniform, and looked deep into the boy’s eyes, turned around and went on her way, saying nothing.

That had been a week ago, and since then, Draco had taken a vow of silence against Y/N. It was as if the girl just didn’t exist. At first it was kind of mutual, she also didn’t want to chat with him. But, apparently, she was the only one who had felt the slightest bit of regret about what they had done. After two weeks and still nothing, Draco continued to completely ignore the existence of Y/N. The girl, on the other hand, was never going to show that she missed him, although, as the days went by, she didn’t need to say with words what she was feeling, it was clear.

In a divination class, your partner was Blaise, the two of you were sitting at a table above Draco and Pansy. He always knew that you were a little jealous of the girl, since you two were never very good friends, and she always made it very clear that her fancies draco Draco. They were both whispering things and giggling right in front of Y/N. Her furious eyes at the two kept her from paying attention to what were the names of Jupiter’s moons.

"Why don’t you go talk to him already, Y/N?” Blaise said to the girl beside him, it was as clear as daylight that she was jealous.

“Me? Why would I talk to him? I don’t understand your points, you know” She said finally taking her eyes off Draco, since she had been discovered.

“You two are really unbearable, him acting like you don’t exist and you acting like you don’t care. Really pathetic. ” He leaned back and turned his attention to the Professor in front of him.

Y/N chose to ignore Blaise, he didn’t make sense in the girl’s opinion, he was just someone else who had a wrong opinion about her … Right?

***

The following days were nothing different, cute Draco with Pansy and Y/N hating any man. People were starting to get used to the idea that the most powerful couple at Hogwarts was no longer together, it seemed, and were relieved not to be as bad as they thought it could be. Some would dare say it was even better that way. The two without speaking for so long, even if therw was no official ending, it was easier to put up with. At the end of a long day, with two times of history of magic, Y/N has just returned to the common room. 

She was beginning to think that after almost a month without speaking, Draco already considered her his ex-girlfriend. These thoughts haunted her for many hours, and she hated them deeply. He could be an asshole at times, but if there were people Y/N was sure to have a good heart, even if deep down, it was Draco. She really liked him.

As soon as the girl entered the common room, she caught a glimpse of Draco and Blaise talking near a pillar, and just passed by without wanting Draco to see her with teary eyes as the thoughts she hated so much were back. But even though she was passing fast, she couldn’t help but hear a comment from Draco “I’m telling you, Blaise, every day that I wanted that this git to have never come to Hogwarts, it’s incredible how I can’t stand being around without feeling rage” And the girl didn’t wait another second to run upstairs and drop the tears on her pillow. That was it, Draco wanted to end it all.

The next day was the most difficult of those last days. It seemed that everything around reminded her of Draco, it seemed that everyone around her was happly dating. If Y/N could choose a super power it would certainly be invisibility. At least she would have potions class today, her favorite subject, and yet she doubted she would pay any attention, last night had been filled not with snoring, but with sobs from crying.

She entered the potions room and went straight to the back table, she didn’t want to draw attention today. As Professor Slughorn was speaking, Y/N was more and more sure that the table looked very comfortable for taking a nap.

"Miss Y/L/N” Professor Slughorn called Y/N, the girl was far from waking up, several students were laughing quietly. He called her three more times before giving up and trying something different. “Well, guys, as I said to you, Amortenia is a very strong potion, probably the most dangerous in this room. And to prove it to you, I’m going to use it to wake up Miss Y/L/N. ” So the Porfessor put some of the potion in a bottle and took it open very close to Y/N, the girl in the same time woke up.

“What the …” She got up scared and looked around the room, looking for where this familiar smell came from. 

“Can you share with the class what you smell, Miss Y/L/N?” Professor Slughorn asked.

“Hm… a woody smell, with a hint of mint and… chamomile shampoo.” The girl replied and everyone laughed, everyone in the room knew who was the only person at school who could have these three smells at the same time. Draco who was on the other side of the room, stared at Y/N with sad eyes. It seems that finally, after days, he realized who he was ignoring. Whose flowers did he smell when the professor opened the potion next to him. Seeing Y/N the way, holding back the crying, broke his heart into a thousand pieces. What had he done.

As everyone was laughing, and the Professor Slughorn without understanding nothing, let the girl go to the bathroom when she asked. He might not have understood why, but he knew that for some reason the smell that the girl felt made her very sad, since the girl had tears in her eyes.

“Professor, can I go to the bathroom too?” Draco asked the professor a few minutes after Y/N left. That’s when he understood everything. As soon as the boy got close to him, he felt exactly what Y/N had described. Slughorn may be not a student anymore, but as a good slytherin, he heard the gossip here and there. “Ah… Of course, of course, you can.”

Draco ran down the castle corridors after Y/N, she couldn’t have gone that far. He then stopped and thought for a minute, where could she be? And without much delay he got his answer. The boy ran to the bathroom where he was sure he would find Y/N, and he was right.

He heard it outside one of the cabins. “He doesn’t deserve you if he goes to treat you like rubbish!” Myrtle’s voice echoed throughout the bathroom, as no one came, it was normal for this to happen. Draco wasn’t sure why, but Y/N was the only person at Hogwarts who really enjoyed Myrtle’s company. 

Unfortunately the conversation between the two did not last much longer, Draco made a lot of noise when entering the bathroom. Y/N without thinking twice, took her wand and stood by, that was what made the girl a first-rate Slytherin. "Who’s there?“ 

“Y/N, it’s me, Draco” The boy said coming closer to the cabin door where his girlfriend was.“Filthy fellow! Go away, don’t you think you’ve done enough?” Myrtle said flying over the stall with his arms crossed to look Draco in the eye. Naturally Myrtle was already scary, but sailing in anger instead of sad was worse than you can imagine.

“Go away, Draco” A much less aggressive and much more tearful voice came from the other side of the wooden door. She wouldn’t admit it, but she was crying a few minutes ago.“I just want to talk …” Draco put a hand on the door in front of him. “Ah! Briliant! Now do you want to talk? ” Myrtle replied angrily.“Can you let me talk to my girlfriend in peace, Myrtle?!” Draco replied angrily to the ghost that hung over him. Myrtle was going to give a very rude answer when Y/N interrupted her. “Myrtle, if you don’t mind, can you give us a little privacy?” Myrtle groaned in disapproval, but ended up diving through the pipes of one of the bathroom toilets.

“Well, since you decided to be so talkative, you can speek now" 

"You can open the door, I mean that for you and not for an old wooden door” Draco grunted, still holding his hands on the door, holding it as if it could fall at any moment.

“No. Whatever you have to say, say it anyway” Y/N shrugged her feet over the toilet, she was sitting on top of the lid. 

Draco sighed and leaned his head against the door. "I’m sorry, Y/N.” He sighed for another moment. “I was an idiot. Ignoring you was the most stupid thing I’ve ever done. And teasing you with Pansy was even worse, God that girl is a nightmare.” He vowed to hear a Y/N giggle muffled by the door. Then he turned on his back and stood there. “I … I really tried to be without you, but today in Professor Slughorn’s class, seeing you describe … well … what you described, just made me realize what I was doing, it was so … . bloody stupid. Look, I understand if you want to break up, I really was an asshole, but I needed you to know that I regretted talking to you that way, the same time I saw you walk away from me.” And he walked away from the door.

In all this time together, Y/N had never seen Draco be so transparent with what he felt. So he didn’t want to end, but what about the conversation with Blaise? Y/N opened the door and was faced with a very sad Draco. Definitely the girl had never seen him look so downcast. He let out a sad smile when he saw the girl with puffy eyes and red cheeks in front of him. It was incredible that she was still the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.

"So you don’t want to finish things?" A hoarse voice came from Y/N’s throat. "Me? Finish? Never! Where did you get that crazy idea? ” Draco replied approaching the girl."I heard you talking to Blaise yesterday in the common room, about not being able to stand the thought of having me at Hogwarts…” She replied looking at her feet. Draco laughed through his nose.“I was talking about Potter, Y/N …” And came closer to the girl.

Now it was Y / N’s turn to laugh. “I should have known …” She finally hugged the boy in front of her by the waist. Draco smiled and looked deep into his girlfriend’s eyes. He was happy again. He felt complete. Having Y/N in his hands was like having the whole world to himself. Drunk with so much love, he didn’t wait another second to place a kiss on the girl’s lips. Was her. He knew she was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

After breaking the kiss that shared so much passion, Draco said in such a low tone that only Y/N could hear, even if there was no one else there. “Promise me something?” The girl looked into his gray eyes, always liked the immensity of feelings that lived there, and agreed with the head. “Never walk away from me again, seeing you leave was the worst thing I’ve ever felt.” The girl smiled and placed another short kiss on his lips.

“Never.”

[a-aexotic]

detention and the picture of dorian gray. | s.b

pair: f!reader x stanley barber

warnings: language, the word "slut" being used, mentions of food, weed in use. word count: 1.8k summary: y/n gets detention because she refused to change into something else. she then meet stanley barber, the king of breaking uniform himself.

a/n: big thanks to liane my love for helping me with this fic 😩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 (@amourtentiaa). tags: @nothinghcppens @eunoniaa @isolemnlyswearpevensie @aspiringsloth20 @thatslovelymoony @amourtentiaa @vsawyer1989 @fives-cup-of-coffee

Y/N SAT QUIETLY IN MRS. JEFFERSON'S ENGLISH CLASS AS SHE PLAYED WITH THE EDGE OF HER SKIRT. she had gotten this plaid skirt from her aunt the other day. she usually doesn't go for skirts but this skirt just looked too cute to pass on.

she let out a yawn, glancing at the clock. she moved her gaze to her friend syd with a small smile. the girls were planning on getting milkshakes after school, and y/n was excited to leave school.

the bell rung and y/n got up as fast as she could, grabbing her backpack and pencil, heading for the door. syd was taking her time gathering her stuff, so y/n got to the door faster than her.

"ms. l/n, you know that skirt is against dress code?" mrs. jefferson eyed y/n, judgement in her expression. y/n narrowed her eyes on the teacher, knitting her eyebrows.

"since when are skirts against dress code?" y/n replied coolly, as syd let out a small chuckle.

mrs. jefferson's eyes widened as she got up. "it's short. a distraction, if you will. you should try wearing something modest. i'll get you a slip so you can call your mother-"

"excuse me? modest? well sorry to break it to you, mrs. jefferson, modest isn't-"

"how dare you interrupt me? detention!" mrs. jefferson bickered as y/n rolled her eyes, as syd watched in amusement. the teacher gave her a slip, and watched as the girls walked out.

"whatever, and i'm not changing." y/n rolled her eyes in annoyance as her and syd walked down the hallway to their next class.

Y/N WALKED IN THE GYM WITH CROSSED ARMS AND A PINCHED EXPRESSION. she saw there was only two other people there - stanley barber (the king of breaking dress code) and jenny tuffield. she was a few minutes late, but she needed to use the restroom.

she sat down near stanley with a huff and put her backpack directly next to her. she tapped her foot as she waited for something to happen, for someone to talk.

jenny finally sighed and faced the two. "so, why're you both here? you seem like . . . goody two shoes."

y/n narrowed her eyes on the girl, "mrs. jefferson called me a slut, basically."

"a slut?" stanley choked out with a laugh, causing the girls to glare at him. "w-why? you're not a slut,"

"because my skirt is short." y/n let out a groan, and rolled her eyes at the mere thought of mrs. jefferson calling her skirt short. it wasn't short! and plus, she has shorts under it anyway.

"yeah mrs. jefferson is a sour old bitch who was way to much free time on her hands." jenny nods in agreement with another loud sigh, laying her head on the bench behind her. "what about you?"

"um, didn't do my homework," stanley said as y/n nodded along to his words.

"well, that sucks." y/n states as she gave him a small smile. she expected him to might've broken dress code or something, but it was something else.

the principal walked into the gym with a angry expression, as if to scare them. jenny didn't move her, instead she stared at the principal.

"you kids are here today because you disrespected teachers," he eyed y/n. "or didn't do what you were supposed to do. you are to clean this whole gym. and i will be checking it after." he seemed done with our bullshit, so he sighed and left the gym, "don't fool around, i will know."

"he doesn't actually check, i've been in detention a million times and i haven't done a single thing." jenny whispered with a smirk, turning her body to face us. "so . . ."

"so," stanley echoed, looking around the gym. y/n was not going to clean the entire gym, but the others didn't seem like they wanted to talk at all. she took out a book for her reading class, opening it. stanley took out a rubik's cube.

jenny yawned and took her bag, getting up and walking to the bathroom. stanley glanced at y/n with an interest etched in his expression. "what are you reading?"

y/n turned her head to stanley, "um, the picture of dorian gray. it's for mr. white's class."

stanley nodded with a smile. "do you like it? what page are you on?" he moved closer to y/n, looking onto the book with her.

"192, i'm pretty much in the middle. it's nice, but i probably wouldn't read it on my own. i don't read the classics unless i have to, i prefer modern romance - or like, greek mythology."

"oh, that's nice. i like comics more than books, i don't think i have a good enough attention span to read an actual book, y'know?" stanley spoke as y/n nodded along.

"same here, i guess it depends on the book." y/n smiled. "do you think the principle will actually come check on us?"

stanley shook his head, "uhh, no! why would he? plus, i'm sure jenny was right. who'd take the time out of their day . . . and use it to check if a bunch of kids cleaned an entire gym?"

y/n laughed as stanley smiled. "you're right." an awkward silence fell between the two as they looked around the gym. y/n decided she needed to use the restroom, so she put the bookmark in the book and got up. "bathroom,"

stanley smiled awkwardly and nodded. "u-uhh, have fun!"

y/n laughed and nodded, walking down the stands and walking to the door. she opened the heavy door, walking into the bathroom. she looked for any sign of jenny after a few seconds of silence, but there was no sign.

y/n scoffed, "bitch!" she quickly washed her hands before walking out of the bathroom. stanley was laying on the bench, playing with the rubik's cube.

"stanley, jenny left!" y/n crossed her arms walking up to the boy. stanley sat up, scoffing. "should we . . . ditch too? i mean, jenny did. why shouldn't we?"

"yeah, sure," stanley breathed out. he took his backpack, and gave y/n's hers. he grabbed her book, handing it to her. "where are we going?"

y/n smiled as she took the book and put the book in her backpack. "we should get milkshakes, at that diner."

stanley nodded and got up from the stands. "okay, let's go!"

y/n let out a laugh, walking beside stanley.

THEY WERE FINALLY ON THE MAIN ROAD, WALKING TO THE DINER. y/n lead the way, as stan was a few steps behind. "don't you have a car, stanley?"

he nodded, "i didn't drive it here today. my dad's home, so -"

"oh," y/n nodded knowingly. "you don't have a good relationship with your dad?" this was definitely not something you ask when you first meet someone, but if the shoe fits, the shoe fits.

he walked next to y/n, "yeah nope. i hate him." he paused, "well i don't really hate him, he's my dad. you can't ever really hate your dad, y'know?"

y/n nodded. "makes sense. dads aren't too great, if we're being honest."

he laughed with a nod, "yup, they suck. dads, who needs 'em?"

"yeah, as long as you have a good few friends and a good hangout place, you're good to go. that's what my aunt says," y/n smiled as stanley nods.

"well, she's right." stanley says with as he looked ahead. "i like your skirt, it isn't slutty. it's cute,"

y/n's face went red as she awkwardly laughed, "thanks. i like your jacket,"

he faced her with a smile, "thanks. i found it at the thrift store . . . pretty sure it's like, older than my grandpa. but i washed it! so we're all good."

"vintage and hand me down clothing is cuter, if we're being honest. if it has history, it's better." y/n spoke as stanley nodded along.

"yeah," stanley agreed as he took out a tin with weed, taking one out and offering one to her. "want one?"

y/n has never had weed before, and she's never thought she'd ever agree to smoke . . . especially in public. she nodded and took it from his hand. "i've never smoked weed before, i've vaped before-"

"vaping is nothing like weed, y/n. it is amazing," stanley winked at the girl, giving her a lighter. "do you know how?"

"you just inhale and exhale, right?" y/n whispered as she looked the weed.

"let me do it first," stanley says as you handed it back to him. he placed it in his mouth, and lit it slowly. he inhaled and took it out, and slowly blew it out. "here,"

y/n takes it and copies his actions - inhaling and slowly exhaling. she coughed out loudly, as stanley laughed loudly. "how'd i do?" y/n coughed out.

"you did good, uh, for your first time." stanley smiled as y/n rolled her eyes playfully.

"just say i did horribly and get it over with," y/n said in a joking manner as stanley shook his head.

"you did good! i promise," stanley laughed. "you want some more?" he took a long draw before handing her the blunt. she nodded, taking it. she a small draw, and this time she didn't cough as hard. "now that one, was good."

"i thought my first one was good!" y/n laughed loudly as stanley smiles.

"that one was better!" stanley spoke as she nodded. she handed him the blunt, and he took another draw. "you didn't cough, that's good."

they went back and forth with it, and soon enough, they were on their forth blunt and were very high. they decided not to go to the diner, but instead, a park.

it was around 6 pm, and they were on a bench. stanley had his head on y/n's shoulder as they talked. "so, you're dad's like . . . gone most of the time?"

he nodded. "yup, it's all good until he decides he wants to come home."

"i'm really sorry, stan. your dad doesn't deserve you,"

he looked up at her from her shoulder. "yeah, i can't wait til i can go to college, away from him. it'll be the best day of my life." y/n nodded, as they kept looking up at they sun setting. "hey y/n, do you . . . do you think there's like, a genuine meaning to life?"

"maybe. i-i don't think there is a genuine meaning to life." she paused as stanley looked up at her. "i think you have to create your meaning. if you think about it, nothing ever matters until you make it matter. your life can have a million meanings or one. it's your life, only yours."

she looked down at stan, "what do you think?"

"i think you're high off your mind right now, y/n. but uh, that was beautiful." he laughed as y/n scoffed.

"thank you,"

"we should get going, now." stanley sighed as he lifted his head from her shoulder. "let me walk you home."

"yeah," she sighed as she got up. "want some perfume? because uh, we smell like weed,"

he laughed. "nope, i'm fine. my dad'll think i have a girlfriend or something."

y/n smiled as they started walking. "we should hang out more."

he nodded, "sure. let's do that."

[mizunetzu]

Mr Mizunetzu’s secret Santa! Kita x reader - cold, cold observations (he loves me so it’s okay)

( @luv-hqs hi HAHA!! I was ur secret Santa >:) Funny story, I accidentally deleted the ask you gave me that had your preferences, but I vaguely remember there being a “Kita” and “angst” LMAO SO I ROLLED WITH THAT TELL ME IF I GOT IT WRONG BUT HEY YALL GET UR FIRST INARIZAKI FIC FROM ME )

⚠️warnings - ANGST? Unintentionally cold Kita baby doesn’t mean it I swear, sad ending

Pronouns - male, he/him

you can find part two here!

——————

“I like you, Kita-kun! Please, please go out with me!”

(Y/n) thrusted himself into a sharp, 90 degree bow, squeezing his eyes shut and balling his hands up into fists, planted firmly against his sides. Kita looked down at him.

“Sure.”

“Wh-“ (Y/n’s) head tossed up, his (h/c)-colored hair whipping back as he did so. “Really?”

Kita nodded. “I like you too, so I don’t see why you’re so surprised. People date people who they like, right?”

A wide smile stretched across (Y/n’s) face, illuminating it just enough to catch the pretty cherry blossom petals fluttering around him. His face shone like the sun, even daring to put the big ball of light to shame. He stood back up, his smile still noticeably big and happy.

“Please take care of me then, Kita-kun.” (Y/n) stepped forward and sheepishly brushed his fingers against Kita’s shoulder.

‘He loves me...’

——

Please take care of me.

It was a simple request. A simple phrase. “Please take care of me,” not in a babied, maternal way, but in the way that (Y/n) hoped him and Kita would be as a lovey-dovey couple you see in romance manga. The kind you see and can’t help but coo at.

“You need to stop flailing your arms around. You’re weakening your spike, (L/n)-kun.”

Kita called out so suddenly, (Y/n) mid-spike, making him sputter and land awkwardly. The ball hit the net with a thud, before landing on the same side of the court it came from. Kita looked at (Y/n) skeptically. It was his normal, straight-laced face, but everyone in the gym could sense the intimidating aura Kita was projecting.

No one wanted to be on the receiving end of that aura, to be cornered by Kita’s judgementful gaze. Yet here (Y/n) was. How unlucky.

“I’m...I’ll do it better next time, Shicchan.”

“Shicchan?”

“W-well...you don’t mind it when I call you that in private, Sh-“

“This isn’t private, (L/n)-kun. We’re in practice.” Kita bore holes into (Y/n’s) skull, who was desperately trying to look anywhere but Kita. Aran scratched the back of his neck.

“Uh-it’s just a nickname dude, plus, you guys are dating, right? So it’s natural that (L/n)-san would call you that.”

“That doesn’t distract from the fact you need to get your spikes over the net, (L/n)-kun. Not on it.” Kita paid Aran no mind, and continued staring down (Y/n) with a heavy, emotionless gaze.

“S-sorry...” (Y/n) shrank back into himself. Everyone who was staring immediately scrambled to look away once Kita looked back. Kita wordlessly walked away.

“Damn, I’m sorry man.” Aran’s eyebrows contorted into a look of pity, while (Y/n) awkwardly chuckled.

“S’fine. He was...probably just having a bad day s’all.” (Y/n) brushed off Kita’s cold judgment faster than Aran expected. He smiled.

“He loves me, so it’s okay.”

——

Today is a good day. (Y/n) hummed as he strolled down the path to practice. In fact, today is a great day. (Y/n) didn’t know why, but it was a great day.

(Y/n) strut into the gym, carrying bag of steamed pork buns he’d bought at the convenience store a few minutes ago. The gyms inhabitants stopped one by one, their focuses shifting from their individual practice to (Y/n) and his bag of food.

Hungry players, especially Atsumu and Osamu, flocked towards (Y/n) with hungry stomachs or a sense of curiousness. Kita caught the ball he was tossing in the air and looked at (Y/n) with blank eyes.

“You’re disrupting practice.” Kita said, not moving an inch from where he was standing. (Y/n’s) smile faltered a bit.

“W-well I just felt like buying the team some food-I feel like we’ve been working hard and we deserve it-“

“You came to practice late to buy food that you could’ve bought after practice?” Kita’s question felt more like a jab at (Y/n’s) chest. Everyone crowding around (Y/n) froze up, a sudden icy-cold shooting down their spines. Kita’s unwanted, scary aura was back.

“I...”

“Why would you do that?” Kita cocked his head to the side. “You’re late to practice-you don’t even have your gym clothes on-and since you have food it’s either we eat it now and can’t practice-because we might get stomachaches-or we eat it after and it gets cold and you waste your money.”

The once bright smile caused by (Y/n’s) ‘good day’ finally cracked. He looked at Kita with embarrassment, trying to play it off with a less cheery, forced smile. He opened his mouth to say something, but his throat closed up and no words came out.

Kita sighed. “Well I don’t want you to waste your money. I guess we’re eating (L/n)-sans steamed buns now.” He turned to the coach. “Is it ok if we take a break from practice? (L/n)-kun brought steamed buns. If we’re lucky we can practice at the end of our practice time once we digest.”

Coach nodded awkwardly. Kita walked up to (Y/n), whose bag of food was being shared and distributed amongst Inarizaki. (Y/n) pressed his lips into a fine line.

“I’m...I’m sorry Shinsuke-kun.” (Y/n’s) happy day was weathered down and left with empty sadness in seconds. He felt so proud and courteous for buying his team a treat purely out of impulse, but now he just felt guilty for disturbing practice.

“It’s alright, I guess.” Kita’s words held no value, as he pecked (Y/n) on the cheek lovelessly. (Y/n) shot him a weak smile, cupping the cheek whom he had kissed gently.

‘He...loves me...so it’s okay.’

‘So it’s okay...’

——

It was such a small gesture. The small act of Kita drawing his hand away when (Y/n) reached out to hold it, him bringing his hand up to lock away in his pocket as they walked through the schools hallways. It was such a small, infinitesimal detail that (Y/n) should’ve brushed off with ease. Y’know, maybe his hand was just cold.

But he couldn’t.

He hesitantly slowed to a stop. “Shin...Kita-kun.”

Kita looked back, a blank look laced with the tiniest amount of confusion weaved inside. “Did something happen?”

“Do you love me?”

Kita dropped his voice down to a whisper. “Of course I do.” It came out his mouth no more than an automated machine would, as he dragged (Y/n) gently to the side of the hallway. “Be careful next time. We’re lucky not much people were around. Someone could’ve heard you.”

‘Heard you?’ (Y/n) furrowed his eyebrows. He wasn’t angry. No, no he wasn’t angry. He just felt like someone hollowed out his insides.

“Is it so bad if people heard me? That I love you and wanna know if you love me too?”

“Yes.”

Kita had no filter. He announced it like saying ‘The sky is blue’, stating it like a fact he expected (Y/n) to know. And he wasn’t even adorning a stern or intentionally harsh face while he said it. Though, it was the way Kita said it so bluntly and emotionlessly that made it hurt the most.

But now that (Y/n) thought about it, when was the last time Kita smiled because of him?

Has he ever even seen him smile?

Has he ever seen, touched, or heard any sort of proof of his love?

Of Kita Shinsuke’s love?

(Y/n) downcast his face. “I just wanted to hold your hand.”

“You know how people feel about gay relationships. Not even my baa-san knows yet. So what if one of our classmates see-“

“-but the whole team knows-!”

“-and I trust the team. They won’t say a word until we’re sure and ready to tell everyone.”

(Y/n) stayed silent after that. Then, he opened his mouth.

“...Then do you trust me?”

It came out like a cracked, hoarse whisper. Kita, for once, look stunned. His eyebrows raised slightly and his eyes widened, even if it were just a little bit.

“Of course I do.”

Another automated response.

(Y/n) nodded, letting Kita lead them back to the middle of the hallway to walk to practice. (Y/n) gave up on trying to hold Kita’s cold, cold hands, and instead thought solemnly to himself.

‘He...he loves...’

He paused. He looked over at Kita, who was looking straight ahead. He looked back down to his walking feet.

‘Does he love me?’

——

Kita looked around the gym. He saw Atsumu and Osamu yelling at each other about something he couldn’t quite make out, Suna fishing out his phone from his pocket, and Ginjima chatting and peppering a volleyball back and forth with Aran.

But no (Y/n).

Kita tapped Suna on the shoulder, who was zooming in and taking pictures of Osamu’s disgusted face. He hummed in acknowledgement, now trying to zoom in on Atsumu on the ground.

“Have you seen (L/n)-kun today?”

“In class, yeah. At practice, no.” Suna murmured. Kita nodded and thanked him for the info. That meant he was at school today, at least.

Excusing himself from practice, Kita stepped out of the gym. I mean, why wouldn’t he be worried about the whereabouts of his boyfriend? Especially with how odd he’s been acting, Kita couldn’t help but worry just a smidge.

After what seemed like hours of pointless searching, he eventually found a mop of (h/c)-hair sitting on a stone bench under the same cherry tree (Y/n) had confessed to him to. Kita had checked the place on impulse, not actually expecting to see someone there, but it was better than nothing. Kita walked up to the boy sitting with his back faced to him, and without even saying anything, (Y/n) gave a small hum.

“Mm.” Was all he said. His back was slouched, and he was still in his school uniform. His school bag laid pathetically strewn on the grass next to him, and if Kita could see his expression, it was probably unreadable.

“Practice is going on.”

“Mhm.”

“You should be at practice.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Why aren’t you going to practice?”

“Is everything about practice with you?” (Y/n) lifted his head. His voice was still calm, but it raised in volume ever so slightly. “Practice, practice, practice. What about how I feel?”

Kita opened his mouth to say something, but for the first time, nothing came out. He didn’t know what to do. Was he mad at him? Did he do something wrong?

“I...” (Y/n) choked back his words, letting out a sigh and slumping down on the stone bench once more. He flicked a fallen cherry blossom petal off his shoulder. “Never mind. I don’t feel like going to practice, tell coach th-“

“Is there something wrong?”

Kita question had come out of nowhere. (Y/n) bunched his hands into fists. “...now you notice?” He turned around, red in the face and tears falling freely in unison with the bittersweet cherry blossoms falling mockingly around them. “Tell me, Kita,”

“Do you love me?”

Kita furrowed his eyebrows. “...of course I-“

“”of course I do.” That’s what you always say..! Say something else, dammit! Say you love me!”

(Y/n) abruptly rose from his seat, stepping over the bench and grabbing Kita by the collar. He pulled him closer to his face, shaking him by the shirt with knuckles that almost turned white.

“M-Make me believe that you love me!” (Y/n’s) tears cascaded down his face, flinging in the air as he whipped his head down so suddenly. Small, choked sobs ripped through (Y/n), yet all Kita could do was stare. Stare with his blank, emotionless face. (Y/n) took his silence as his answer. The silence was so loud.

“...I think we should break up.” Kita’s eyes widened.

“Why?”

(Y/n’s) iron clad grip on Kita’s shirt loosened, he stepped back, face feeling raw after crying. “I don’t want to be with someone who can’t tell me they love me. Once you can tell me you love me, and mean it, I’m all ears.”

“(L/n)-kun-“

(Y/n) reached over the bench and pulled his school bag up, dusting off the stupid pink petals that littered around his bag. He slung it over his shoulder numbly, and shot a curt “See you tomorrow.” At Kita.

All Kita could do was stare. With the emotionless face he now wished held more vibrancy.

“...I love you, (Y/n).”

It came out foreign on his lips. It was the first time he’d said those words, hadn’t it? I love you. A cracked whisper, and even then it sounded like it held no value. Kita took one last linger at the now-empty schoolyard, and walked back to practice.

——

When Kita came back to the gym, everyone was sitting in a semi-circle surrounding a whiteboard. Various lineups and positions were drawn hastily on the board, and everyone looked towards the gym door which Kita had come in through. He silently dragged his feet over to the circle of players, and took a seat behind Aran.

“Where were you?” Aran whispered. Kita ignored him, the lump in his throat stinging and bloating his vocal cords up to the point he couldn’t talk.

Every moment, every interaction, every cold, cold observation Kita ever had with (Y/n) flashed before his eyes. The coach’s voice and the squeak of the whiteboard marker melded together as memories of how kind (Y/n) had been played like a dvd in his mind. He’s been so warm. So, so fucking warm. Every piece of warmth (Y/n) shared with him, he took for granted when he told himself he wouldn’t. He wasn’t normally like that. But he’s been so, so cold.

Silent, hot tears blurred Kita’s vision. They fell slowly, and dripped onto the hardwood floor with no meaning whatsoever. He was so cold. He clasped his hands together, shaking, and trying to hush his ragged breathing and sniffles. He felt so cold. Eventually, the coach stopped talking, and one by one players started turning around, asking if Kita was ok.

But he wasn’t. He was so cold.

——————

Kokoro is brokoro in Mr Mizunetzu’s Christmas event

[bakugohoex]

I was rewatching death note and when L did his monster speech this request was born! So the idea is Bakugo and iida (separately ) with a s/o who has trust issues and is liar ,nothing extremely serious like betraying them! More like smaller stuff? They probably confront them asking why they lie so much!”

({and btw if you haven’t herd L’s monster speech you should for inspiration buts that’s your choice! Have a happy holiday!✨)

“y/n just tell me the fucking truth for once”

pairing: katsuki bakugo x female reader

cw: this long sorry, violence, language, some topics of abuse but it isn’t in detail, kissing and fluff 

word count: 5200+

a/n: hi sorry i don’t write for iida cause i find him really annoying and i don’t think i have the facilities to write him, but i do write bakugo so here it is, also i love the L speech sm and anything in italics is either a reference to the speech or directly incorporates the speech, have a happy rest of the holiday as well 

summary: in which you were raised by villains, by being saved by the heroes, the trust issues and lying you were brought upon reflects you now, bakugo grows ever more frustrated at your lying and all your truths come out

↞ back to my hero academia masterlist

The echo of the wind bashing against the windowsill roared through the commission, the white walls cascaded around you, it was painful and enduring at how you sat in the middle of the silent room. Waiting. No. Watching, you were listening and seeing those around you, a muzzle around your mouth to surpress your voice. Your wrists coated with the metal handcuffs, you were trapped, and you being stalked by those around you.

“Miss Y/l/n, we have found your family.” The voice is loud and monotone, you didn’t care, fuck your family, fuck what they did to you, fuck them.

Unable to move your hands to put a middle finger up at the camera, one movement causing an electrifying bolt run through your arms. You hated being here, you would rather fend for yourself on the streets than be involved in a hell hole like this.

“No words of happiness.” The sound of a certain pro hero caught your ears, the one who had captured you, held you against your will, locked you in this room. Number two pro hero Hawks.

“You can kill them for all I care.” Your voice dripped with malice not looking up at him.

Monsters who will not show themselves and will cause trouble.

You heard him say something quietly behind him before the jingle of keys were heard. He walked to the handcuffs undoing them, the muzzle clenched against your face, leaving sore marks, he grabbed at it making you face him. You were about to activate your quirk, but he quickly let go making you stop.

“We’re sending you to UA.” You eyes widened, what did a shitty school like UA need with a villain like you.

He looked at your sore wrists, before the signs of the bruises vanished underneath your thumb which you had been rubbing against the purple. He watched you touch your neck which had bruises from being pushed to the ground, all disappearing in a single touch. “A school like that doesn’t need me.”

“Of course it does, your quirk can be used for good.” He softly speaks sitting beside you on the white floor. The room was suffocating, and you wanted to leave it as soon as you could.

“I can’t, I know how to kill, I was raised to kill.” You put your hands to your face, getting rid of the cuts that erupted on your face, with an instance it was all gone. “If I touch you and activate my quirk, I could break you.”

He looks at your tired eyes, a child broken and used by your family to become a villain. “I’ll make a deal with you.”

It gains your attention and with an instance you look at the man, he holds his hand out you grab it with ease, his fingers were soft, you could imagine them breaking under your touch. He guides you out of the room, you walked past to where many other rooms which you assumed where blank and lifeless. Before seeing a window, it was to another room, you saw a woman in bed, she was bandaged up but the silver around her wrist made you in an instance know who it is.

“Your mother she’s dying, the families she ruined wont get proper justice, but I’ll let you go in, you can scream, shout hell you can kill her yourself, but you will join UA.” The sound of being able to kill her, kill the woman who had stolen you away.

“She’s not my mother, she found me.” They were never your family; they had seen you at such a young age and stolen you to indoctrinate.

Monsters who abduct children.

He nods already knowing, “we’ll lock the door.” All that flashed through your eyes was murder, she had taken it all from you, you never wanted to see her family, her stupid husband and her stupid son, you hated them all and you were going to kill her.

The sound of the door locking made you move towards her, she looked up thinking you were hear to save her. “My daughter.” The words were careless and made you angrier.

“I was never your daughter…” You pause her frail fingers had started to wrinkle and her face becoming grey and hair patchy.

“Y/n.” He breathing was rough, but you didn’t care, with an instant you went up to her exposed hands.

A smile formed on your lips, maybe you were a sadist, but you could do one last villainous action, make her fie even quicker, make her beg for forgiveness. Then you would go to UA, you would forget about the torture, forgot about them. You would become something a lot more than they had ever expected.

“I’m going to kill you.” It was comical but her face fell.

“You heartless bitch.” She shouted, “you fucking bitch, no wonder nobody loves you.” You didn’t care about her words smiling away.

The way her fingers cracked under your touch, each bone breaking the screams filling the room. You didn’t care touching even more of her before you moved directly to her heart. Hawks had heard the screams ignoring it maybe it was wrong of him to let you do this. But you deserved justice, your hand moved on top of her chest.

“Y/n…please.” She begged it was heaven in your ears, the woman who had tormented you was begging for you too stop and what else could you do but disagree. She had clinged onto your wrist, tightening her grip, unable to use her own quirk due to the medication, this was your only chance.

Hawks knew it was over, opening the door to see you walk out, he looked at you expecting some emotion but was brought with happiness, almost joy. “Where are the other two?” 

“You’ll see them again when they’re locked up, but that’s it, you cant kill them.” You nodded, you’d find a way, you’d find a way to kill them both, but you kept your composure.

The day flew past he explained how you’d have to lie, pretend your life was normal. But the main thing he wanted you to know was.

“If you kill any of them, I’ll be the one to kill you Y/n.” You nod, you had a straight face for most of his lecture, but you felt like he was trying to replace the adult figures you had had in your life. “If you get into any trouble, call me or just want to know how to act human, I know you haven’t been in the best education, but this is a fresh chance.”

“Okay.” It was simple and whilst sleeping in the commission in a much better area with colour and natural light. You watched the sky, watched how the stars danced around the moon, you admired it from a far but oh how you wished to see it up close.

The night was calming, and you were restless, but it wasn’t out of fear of going to UA, it was of fear they would find out who you were. Find out you were a villain, find out that you had caused deaths along the way. You were confident in your abilities, but they were new people, you had been surrounded by A rank and B rank villains all your life. Hell you had been classed as an A rank villain but now you would become something in life.

Hawks hadn’t bothered to tell you about your real parents, all that was known was you had been on the streets, you were a nobody and you would remain like that if you tried hard enough. The night had led to a lack of sleep with tossing and turning, the nightmares blaring through your head. The torment the way they would use your quirk at the tender age of five to kill and kill again.

Monsters who devour dreams.

The sound of coughing woke you up in your slumber, you hadn’t grown close to the winger hero. But he was trying, he gave you your new uniform, helped you pack a bag with everything and even gave encouraging words along the way.

The uniform was gross but after being trapped for weeks in solitude you were finally getting human contact, experiencing the world. “I’ll help you settle in; the teachers know your…past.” You nod, he was avoiding it and so were you, the drive being filled with silence.

Your gaze had been out the window, the hues of red and yellow cascaded through the sky, it was beautiful. A month ago the only thing you had seen was thick concrete walls, murder only occurring inside of the building you had called home for years.

“We’re here.” He whispers opening the door for you, taking your bags he watches you hit the air and feel the sun, “I think that’s the first time I’ve seen you smile.”

Your surpress the smile looking down, “make friends Y/n.” You nod, you were able to make friends, of course you were it was the not sticking out like a sore thumb that bothered you.

These people will have known each other for a month’s now but you, you weren’t normal. Hawks gave a smile walking you inside the building, “I’ll go drop your bags off to your new room once you’ve settled in.”

You walked past the doors, before arriving in front of a humongous door, shrugging at how Hawks spoke about the class. “The league tried to get them.” You mutter out. “They had talked to Shigaraki about it prior, we were going to go with them but my bro…he got sick.”

It was a lie of course; it wasn’t that he had gotten sick. You had touched him; broken his arm and you had been punished in an instant. You were made to sleep in the rain, eat off the ground, it was torture and you had felt sucked to death.

Monsters who suck blood.

Hawks nods, you misspeaking made you nervous, this was the first time you would be talking and listening to people who you weren’t about to kill. The door opened and you didn’t dare face the class, the teacher who you assumed was Aizawa stood in a sleeping bag, you dismissed it knowing how powerful his quirk was.

“We’ve got a new student today, Y/n Y/l/n and pro hero Hawks is here.” The shock on there faces was something, but it felt more to Hawks than it was to you.

“I’ll be leaving I’ll call tonight.” You nod at Hawks watching him leave with your stuff, your bag hanged loosely on your shoulder. You analysed them all, scanning up and down before you saw the boy who you knew Shigaraki had captured, the Katsuki Bakugo and Izuku Midoriya who your ‘parents’ had told you about.

You stopped staring at them, Izuku looked down not meeting your gaze whilst Bakugo scowled at you, “why don’t you introduce yourself?”

“Oh umm…” You stuttered Hawks had made you practice a fake backstory but, in an instant, it was forgotten, “I’m Y/n Y/L/N, I moved here with my family a…and ugh.”

Monsters who always tell lies.

You didn’t know what else to say, refusing to meet their gazes as you looked out the window, the birds chirping, petals falling in the August heat, it was beautiful, how life spewed out into the world. But also how easily it was to destroy life, how in one touch everything could break and deteriorate, “Y/n.” Aizawa had been repeating your name but you hadn’t gotten out of your daze until the third time.

“Yes.” You whisper.

He points to a seat behind Bakugo and in front of Midoriya, “go sit behind Bakugo.” You nod, walking past them all, they seemed already accustom to their friends. This was going to be a lot harder; it wasn’t like you were infiltrating it to gain anything. You going against the indoctrination and being the opposite of what you had been brought up to be.

You felt someone tap your shoulder as Aizawa went to what looked like sleep, quickly turning around to meet the green haired boy. “I’m Izuku Midoriya.”

You pretended to not know him, smiling as you introduced yourself again, “Yeah I heard.”

“Why did your parents move?” A blonde boy shouted, you saw the black in his hair, it was a look, but you had seen a lot worse hairstyles.

“Oh, work.” It was an easy enough lie which nobody would be able to see through. “We move around a lot.”

He doesn’t say anymore, as some of the girls come around the table, all introducing themselves, you smile thinking this had become easier by the minute. As quickly as introductions had occurred between the whole class, the day had begin to conclude and all that was left was training.

You didn’t have a hero costume so remained in the UA uniform; it was easy enough. With the odd amount of people, Aizawa had made you stay beside him. “I want you to break all of their left legs.”

Was this a trick or a ploy? You were happy to accept knowing this to be an easy enough thing to do, you saw how they had all began to bunch together. It was paced easily, skimming through each and everyone of them, jumping onto the high buildings as you touched all their left legs with ease, even Midoriya whose quirk you had known to be superior had not been paying attention, you easily touched it before hiding it. Your last victim was Bakugo who seemed to be jumping around, you saw how he stood in front of Kirishima in the open area, well you were going to make this a show.

You already heard the screams of some of the class and whilst being distracted you touched the blond’s leg, having assumed it was the wind he ignored the feeling. Ready to attack just as you bounced back to Aizawa.

In an instance you saw the class cascade onto their left knees, the shouting and tears flowing from some of them. It was quick enough, and you almost felt the thrill of killing from doing this small action.

Even Bakugo who had tried to not become grounded was repressing growls at the pain, “What’s ha…” You heard Momo ask on the ground, even the boy you had known as Endeavor’s son had collapsed onto the floor.

“It’s good, and you can heal them as well.” Aizawa ignored the class taking it as an endurance test.

You nodded about to go reverse it, “no let them feel it.” He had stopped you, you spaced in and out watching them on the floor, you stood in silence, it was easy enough to be stealthy even the invisible girl was easy to get after seeing the gloves floating about.

Aizawa after a couple minutes let you touch there legs again, all regaining strength again. They were all a bit out of it but Bakugo seemed the most pissed at you, not understanding your quirk. The class stood in silence looking at you, you didn’t look at them, wanting to leave and just look out at the sky for a bit.

“Y/n, was that your quirk?” The questions cascaded out, but you refused to answer, you didn’t care if they knew but you felt anxious and untrustworthy of these people. They could end up using it against you, hell they might even try and cut your hands off, so you’re left quirk less.

You had heard it happened to Overhaul so what would make you think that these groups of future pro heroes wouldn’t do it you. “No.” Is all you say, it was a lie, and you were going to stick by it forever.

Lying monsters they are much more cunning than other monsters.

Look into the horizon and see hope, “can we go now?” You muttered to Aizawa, he nodded, you didn’t stop to talk to them instantly leaving.

You didn’t want to face the question and answers, you wanted to be alone. You understood after all these years of being isolated, making friends, being around other people had took a toll on you and you wanted to curl up into a ball.

You grabbed your bag changing as quick as you could, instantly walking past the class who had just arrived to change. You saw the message on the phone Hawks had given you a number and floor of where you assumed your room was.

Whilst walking towards where the dorms were you heard the shout of your name. Turning around you were met with Todoroki, “oh hi.”

“Your quirk its…” He trailed off not knowing the words.

He joined you in the walk to the dorms, “you can say villainous, I can kill people with it.”

“I wasn’t going to say that but at least you’re on our side.” He smiles out before talking about the class and how impressed they were with your quirk.

All you could think about were the words he had said though our side, what did it mean? Were there sides to this world, were you going to remain on the side of justice or go against Hawks and run and kill and be killed by him.

You had ignored everything else he had said, “I’m glad I’m on your side as well.” It was a blatant lie, but you were trying, trying to put on a façade. You tried to understand him, understand the emotions that were around you. But you didn’t understand it, didn’t understand how something has harmless as you had done had made them impressed. If they wanted to be impressed, you could kill someone. If they really wanted.

They pose as humans even though they have no understand of the human heart.

Todoroki talked about how meals worked and the works and before you knew it, he had dropped you off directly outside the dorm room. “I’ll come get you for dinner.” You nodded before sucking in a breath. You had your own room, your own sanctuary, you could make it look however you wanted.

You walked inside seeing your bags to the side, a desk and a bed it was normal and empty. Hell if you knew what to do with the room, you had no pictures to put up, no possessions only the new clothes Hawks had brought you. It was barren and you expected it would remain this way.

You laid on the bed, feeling the soft and warm covers, it was a new experience, the rags you had slept in prior being nothing compared to this. It was comfort that you had never experience, the few hours later bringing the half haired boy to your room.

You had put the clothes in the designated area and been waiting on the bed, staring out of the window. It was getting dull and wearing the clothes that fit too right, you opened the door to see Todoroki.

“We’re waiting downstairs.” You nod, pulling at the sleeves of the shirt as you followed the boy. He made conversation which you gave small yeah back too. You were eating for the sake of it, eating to fuel you it wasn’t to satisfy or pleasure you it was to make you stronger. That’s how you had been brought up and that’s how you seemed to remain.

You saw the class crowding a table, a confusion settling on your face. Even the angry Bakugo was perched on the table, Todoroki coughed, and everybody turned their backs. “She’s hear.” Mina squealed, “we got you a cake to celebrate you joining our class.”

Your face fell in confusion, why were they being nice? You had hurt them and now they had gotten you a cake, you had never had a cake, always being told it was bad for you and would ruin your quirk.

“A c…cake.” You stuttered.

“Yeah, a cake, look its got frosting.” Ururaka smiled moving to show you the cake.

It was Midoriya the next to speak, “we think your quirk is really cool and don’t want you to think we think it’s a villain quirk or something.”

Your eyes widened; the cake had blue frosting but the sound of Midoriya repeating what Todoroki spoke out too you. You took a deep breath before faking a smile, everybody seemed to believe it and your next words, “thank you guys so much it means a lot.”

Bakugo knew, Bakugo saw how your eyes were lying, how your face might have been smiling but inside you were dying. Those eyes of yours, the way your upper lip twitched whilst cutting the cake. He saw it all and, in the end, he saw how your fingers skimmed the knife, as if you were thinking about murder. But what did he know about an extra like you.

They eat even though they’ve never experienced hunger.

A couple weeks had passed, and you seemed to have settled in, well that’s what Hawks had assumed after every daily call with you. His words echoing in your head, one murder and you would die yourself. You had grown closer with all of them , specifically Mina and Kirishima, but Bakugo was another story, he was scowl every time you looked at him, everytime you tried to make conversation. You both hadn’t shared a single conversation only being around each other due to your mutual friends.

The day Mina had asked to study in your room had brought Kirishima, Sero, Denki and Bakugo to your room. You hadn’t expected all of them, but you put on a fake smile again, you didn’t need to revise, hell if it wasn’t for your quirk, you’d still be academically smarter then the rest of them.

You didn’t confess to this truth only accepting them inside the barren room, you hadn’t gotten time to print out the pictures you had taken with the class. As much as the villain inside of you hated to admit it you were enjoying your time. You had thought the first night at UA, that in a month you’d have killed them, the villain in you would come out and you’d stop all their hearts, but now, smiling with them maybe things were different.

Or maybe you were lying to yourself, because to Bakugo you still showed the lying nature, your eyes were filled with lies and could dare look at you. It was only for Kirishima who had dragged him alone, he wanted to ask why you lied, why you didn’t tell the truth? A true pro hero would never go to this extent, but he had no proof, it was in his head.

It was all true, you had continued this lie, making up about how your parents and you were distant, but you had a brother who you were close with. The brother who had stolen you had never been close with you, he hated you, resented your quirk and had killed anybody around you to prove he was the better child.

You imagined him locked up right now, locked away in the hell hole, it was callous, but you relished in his pain. Mina had begun asking questions which you ignored thinking, you zoned out looking out of the window. He was probably chained up, sobbing at how he regretted it all. Regretted hurting you, you bet he didn’t even know that you were the one to kill his mother.

It was comforting but you knew you would have to surpress these thoughts to seem normal. “Sorry, I spaced out, say that again?” You quickly spoke.

Bakugo had noticed you space out, noticed how your lips twitched upwards into a cruel face he had seen that face before. Seen it on every villain he had even encountered and the fear that filled him, startled you all as he knocked the books to the floor.

You continued helping Mina ignoring the boy who continued looking at you. He didn’t bother helping Kirishima, only glaring at you, it wasn’t like he cared if you trusted them or not. But you were no hero to him, even if Deku and Todoroki told you, you were a hero, you would always be something villainous. The night fell and they all left, Bakugo having glared the entire night, it was unnerving, and you were fearful he was catching on, but you dismissed it. It was easy to not overthink these types of stuff, you could always threaten the boy.

They study even though they have no interest in academics.

The late night was unnerving you could feel Bakugo’s presence surround the room, you jolted up. Looking around, feeling watched, before you noticed the hoodie Bakugo had been wearing draped over the chair. He might be awake, he could be, you didn’t care, you got up stretching before grabbing the hoodie and creeping out the door.

You were on the same floor as the boy, so in a quick few steps you arrived at his door. You knocked hesitantly, maybe you should’ve waited. You shook your head, knowing that the feeling of his hoodie in your room made you on edge. You knocked again, and on the third a sleep Bakugo opened the door.

They seek friendship even though they do not know how to love.

He rubbed his eyes before noticing who it was, “what the hell do you want?”

You scowled looking at him, “you left your hoodie in my room.”

You pushed it on him about to leave, but instead he grabs your wrist, “we need to talk.”

“We can talk in the morning.” You were fearful not of him but the threat he knew your secret, knew everything about you.

He ignored you dragging you inside and shutting the door, “sit down.” He mutters, you oblige sitting on the edge of his bed, he had been wearing a black shirt and shorts, you didn’t look at him, instead looing around his room. You see a picture of what looks to be his parents, he was the spitting image of his mother. He looked angry in it but even then, it was a family picture filled with love, something you would never have.

“Why do you lie?” He meets your gaze.

“L…lie, I haven’t.” You lie out.

“I see it in your eyes, you have this face and I’ve seen it on villains, who are you?” His voice had become harsher and you felt intimidated. Fuck, you had killed people and a rowdy blond boy was making you scared.

“I told you…”

He interrupts you, “Y/n just tell me the fucking truth for once.”

“Bakugo I don’t know what you’re on about.” You say acting dumb to leave this situation, “I’ve tried to be nice to you but you jus…”

He speaks over you to make you shut up, “you don’t want to be friends, what are you Y/n?”

His voice was eery and he continued to spew out the truth, “you’re a villain aren’t you.”

You take a deep breath the tears about to brim from your eyelids, “I’m the monster, parents tell their kids about.”

Bakugo watched the tears flow out, he didn’t know what to do, he brought his hand to your face wiping the tears with his thumb. “Y/n tell me the truth.”

You look a mess, but you didn’t care, and you confessed it all, you didn’t lie or skim over the truth. You told him from the moment you got taken to the moment you killed the woman who had made you call her mother.

You expected him to push you away, tell everybody instead he sat in silence. Before bringing you into his arms, “I shouldn’t have called you a villain.” It was a soft side to the boy who had been known for being aggressive, after hearing your sufferings he understood, and he wanted to make sure you were always safe and protected.

“I am a monster though.”

He makes you look up at him, holding your face in his hands, “you’re not, the monsters are those people.”

You don’t speak instead leaning your head against his shoulders, you had never been this vulnerable with anyone. He held your head onto his body, moving onto the pillow to let you lie down on him, he brought you comfort, let you cry on him. You weren’t a villain; you weren’t a villain and if Bakugo believed it then you weren’t a villain to the boy who had been surrounded by them just as much as you had.

After that night Bakugo and you had grown into a strong friendship, it was shocking to the class who had never seen you even talk. The way he would come and make you coffee in the morning, walk with you to each class. Sit beside you in at lunch, even go as far as it train with you just so you felt included.

But seeing how you both talked and smiled at each other, for the first time you had a genuine smile on your face, a genuine laugh that wasn’t filled with lies from your past. They watched how the two of you grew over the course of the next month, how the two of you grew closer and closer. It was unfathomable but you had made a true friend, a friendship that wasn’t based on lies, maybe one day you’d tell them all.

But at the time being you were content with having the angry boy be remotely nicer to you than anybody. It was Mina who had noticed how Bakugo would open the door for you or hold your bag occasionally. The unusual behaviour making everybody think he was sick, but all you saw from him was kindness that had evolved for you.

What they hadn’t realised was how at ease you both had gotten into a routine of sneaking into each other’s rooms. How you’d hold onto each other, talk and vent about the past in each other’s arms. Friends don’t do that; friends don’t hold and comfort each other like you both did.

On one of the many nights you both spent together, his arm around your waist, you looked at him. Looked at his fiery red eyes and fallen blond hair, he had become something more to you. Somebody who you could trust with your life.

“Stop looking at me, its creepy.” He scolds, you laugh at the boy bringing your hand to his hair.

You feel him stare down at your tiny figure, “I thought you were a real bitch the first time we met.”

“You don’t think that anymore.” You pout out nearing closer to his plump lips.

“I still think you’re a fucking bitch.” He laughs, cocking his head back before bringing it back to your face, the gap having narrowed and all you could see was his fiery eyes stare back at you. “You’re my bitch...though.”

You nod not making a remark as the gap closes between you. Your lips moving together in an instant, it was long awaited and seethed with love and hope. But most of all it proved the woman who you called mother wrong, you weren’t heartless, and you have the love she spoke about from Bakugo.

Monsters who always tell lies.

i’d really appreciate if you guys could leave a like, reblog or comment, thanks x

if you guys want to be a part of a tag list, just reply to any post and i’ll add you xx

@samusimp @alainarose13 @crispychannie @underratedmage @jennammaee @cathy8taffy @sugacious @moonlightaangel @kat-sukis-hoe @effmigentlywithachainsaw @swankiifiied @maat-the-prescriptive @missmultifangirl @tvwhoresblog @kuroos-world

[awritingtree]

The Complications of Friendship and Love

James Potter x reader, very little Sirius Black x reader, James Potter x Lily Evans

@wand3ringr0s3‘s 1.9k follower writing challenge: Angst prompt 5. “I never thought something could hurt this bad.” The prompt has been bolded :)

Summary: Being best friend’s with your ex is complex. But adding your best friend dating your ex? Things got a whole lot more complicated.

Words: 2.4k

Warnings: angst, low self-confidence talks, friendship betrayals, unrequited love, 1 swear word

A/N: jsdf I’m sorry this took so long love <3 I wrote half of it and then lost motivation and then got back to it after so long 😂 anyways I hope you all enjoy it xx

Next part: The Benefits of Friendship and Love

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

Y/N Y/L/N had believed that James Potter was her one true love; the person she was going to spend the rest of her life with. But there she sat in her Potions class watching her two best friends giggling and flirting with each other wondering where did she go wrong?

“Are you sure you want this?” he asked, not glancing at her.

“Of course I do, James,” Y/N replied, bewildered he would even think about asking her such a question.

“It’s just- I’ll be really busy you know. With quidditch, NEWTs coming up and being head boy, I won’t have a lot of time to give you,” James explained.

“I don’t care about that. As long as I’m with you, nothing else matters.”

James didn’t get a chance to say anything as Sirius just plopped down next to Y/N, throwing a hand over her shoulder. “What are you two talking about?”

“Nothing,” said James before launching into a conversation with Remus about prefect duties.

“Right, nothing,” sighed Y/N, picking at her food.

“Hey, can we talk?” Lily’s voice snapped Y/N out of her daydream. Her eyes connected with the grey eyes of Sirius Black before she turned around to face Lily with a smile, “Of course, Lils.”

“Can we go somewhere...” Lily looked around the courtyard, “a bit more private?” she finished.

Y/N nodded, stringing her bag around her shoulder as she followed Lily towards the Black Lake. It was a rare warm day at the beginning of October of their seventh year. The grounds were filled with students soaking up the remnants of the warm sun before a cold, harsh winter took over.

Lily led Y/N to a secluded area near the edge of the Black Lake. She stood there, rocking back and forth on her heels, wiping her hands on her uniform every few seconds. She took a deep breath, turning to face her best friend. Her forehead creased, her bottom lip pulled in between her teeth, nibbling down on it.

“Is everything alright?” asked Y/N softly, concerned at her best friend’s behaviour.

“Yes- well um no. I guess- I just need to tell you something. Promise me you’ll listen to the whole thing before speaking?”

Y/N nodded; her eyebrows furrowed in worry. What could Lily possibly have to say that’s gotten her so anxious?

“I want to start by saying I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done what I did, especially without talking to you first. James and I, we’ve been dating. Since a few weeks ago before the term started. We didn’t tell you because I knew it’d hurt you and none of us wanted that. We’ve broken up now. We talked a few days ago. I- we couldn’t carry on like that, not when we knew what we were doing would hurt our best friend. I knew you liked him, and I still said yes, and I shouldn’t have done that, especially after he hurt you so badly. I know you’re upset; we shouldn’t have hidden it from you in the first place, but we’re over now.”

Lily looked up suddenly, shocked to hear Y/N laugh. Not a hurt, mocking laugh but a genuine laugh as if she had heard something really funny.

“I know, Lily,” Y/N said giggling, “You all did an extremely bad job at hiding it.”

“Really? And you’re not upset?” Lily asked nervously.

“Of course not, silly. But I do think you’ve both gone mad. Absolute bonkers. How could you ever think I would stand in the way of my two best friends’ happiness?” Y/N asked with a small smile.

“I can’t. We can’t do that to you.”

“Rubbish! You’re not doing anything to me. Go, be with him. Be happy, both of you.”

A grin made its way onto the redhead’s face she jumped onto the Y/H/C, squeezing the life out of her.

“Thank you! Thank you so much. You’re the best,” Lily shouted as she ran back towards the castle. She turned her head to see her best friend with a small smile on her face, what she didn’t see were the tears gathering in her eyes and how her face fell once she was alone. What she failed to see was the sight of her best friend falling onto her knees, breaking down once again.

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

Sirius, Remus and Peter found Y/N sitting against a tree, face resting on top of her knees drawn to her chest. They all grimaced at the sight of her blotchy face and red-rimmed eyes. She looked so broken.

“You knew, didn’t you?” she whispered, continuing to stare at the still lake before her.

Sirius, Remus and Peter stayed silent not knowing what to say. They did know from the beginning. James came back home shouting about it as soon as it happened. They were asked not to tell her and so they didn’t, a big mistake on their part they realized a little too late.

“Leave me alone” requested Y/N, her voice hoarse from crying.

“Y/N/N, we are-” started Remus.

“Please, just go,” she pleaded weakly. She had no energy left to do anything anymore. Her heart hurt too much. She’d wasted all her energy trying to be enough for a boy who wanted nothing to do with her; all for nothing.

“Alright. But we are sorry Y/N,” said Remus softly.

“We’re here if you need anything,” Peter went on.

Y/N didn’t reply. She made no acknowledgement that the words reached her ears. She continued to stare at the still water, a defeated look on her face. Remus and Peter turned to walk back to the castle. Sirius sighed and took a step towards Y/N, ignoring the pointed look Remus sent him. He leaned down to press a soft kiss against her head.

“We really are sorry, love,” he mumbled before following his best friends back to the castle.

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

A few months passed by. The weather got colder; the wind got harsher. The leaves changed colours and fell. The green grass began to get covered with white snow. All through this, Lily and James got stronger. Every girl was envious of their relationship. The golden couple, they were known as throughout the school.

Meanwhile, Y/N continued to suffer on the sidelines, never showing anyone how badly she was hurting. She wore a bright smile, fake to anyone who really looked. Sirius, Remus and Peter noticed it, she had begun to pull away from all of them, spending all her time in the library when she could, sitting with other people during meals. Anytime they approached her she would cut the conversation short saying she had somewhere to be. The times where she did stick around them, she wasn't the talkative Y/N they knew and loved but a shell of her former self.

Y/N felt disgusted with herself for the hate and anger she had begun to feel towards her best friend. It was justified in her eyes, but she knew no one else would see it that way; she would be considered too dramatic, petty and honestly, a bitch. Due to this fear, Y/N kept quiet about how she felt about the situation. She couldn’t rant to Remus, Sirius, Peter, Marlene, Alice or Dorcas. The only person she could rant to, who would understand her completely or otherwise not judge her, was the sole cause of all her problems in the first place.

James Potter not only ripped her heart right out of her chest and stomped all over it but also left her alone with no one she could talk to, making her spiral into a whirl of self-hate and loneliness with nothing to keep her from drowning.

“What happened to not having enough time to be in a relationship?”, “Be more like Lily then maybe we’d like to hang out with you more”, “Look at Lily, she’s beautiful and she takes care of herself” were the only thoughts that swirled through Y/N’s head on repeat. Her self-worth was reduced to the size of a speck of dust, ready to be blown away into the open by the lightest of breaths. Sirius had noticed her change in mannerisms, clothes, tone of voice; almost everything and it made his heartache. He watched from afar as she continued to distance herself; not that anyone could blame her. But it appeared that her absence went unnoticed by everyone, except by him, Remus and Peter. Not even her best friend noted the lack of her presence; too involved in her new boyfriend and busy making new friends.

Y/N soon found comfort in her friends from Ravenclaw, particularly Dave. He understood how she felt; not completely but a bit was better than nothing. He was someone she could rant about James and Lily to without the fear of judgement. Dave and Lily had broken up a few months before she’d started dating James; turns out she had liked James throughout their relationship, using it as a backup since James was showing interest in her best friend at that time. But in the end, not even the friendship of Dave was enough to fill up the empty void inside her, the gaping hole that she believed only one person could close.

Y/N was broken, like a mirror shattered into a thousand pieces and the glue that could put her back together was only in one person’s possession.

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

Y/N wanted to cry; she wanted to break things, thrash a whole room as she collapsed under the weight of her sobs. She wanted to scream into the void until her throat ached, her voice hoarse and raw. She wanted to shout at Lily for deceiving her; for pretending to care all these years. She wanted to yell at the universe, asking what she had done to deserve this. She wanted to punch James, break his nose for destroying her. Y/N Y/L/N had lost herself and she was nowhere to be found.

Y/N knew everyone would pick Lily if it came to it. Everyone always picked Lily; she was the much more favourable and lovable choice. It hadn't bothered Y/N much at first, she would gladly pick Lily first over herself too, but it started to get too much when people she was close to first - she’d introduced Lily to (such as the Marauders) - chose her. The last straw was drawn when James, the only person in the world Y/N had thought would never abandon her; tossed her aside like a second choice, opted for her. The person she revealed her deepest, darkest secrets to; whom she told things she’d never imagined telling another living, breathing soul had thrown her without a second thought, without any regret, onto the side of the road like rubbish without glancing back once to see the damage he’d caused. He’d promised he wouldn’t turn out like the rest. He’d promised to her.

Maybe it was all her fault. She gave her everything to him; her heart and soul, all her time, her first kiss, amongst other things whether she wanted to or not. There were days where she wondered whose fault it really was. Was it her? Was she not pretty enough? Lily Evans was beautiful; no one could deny it, you looked like a tiny twinkling star next to the glowing moon. Surprisingly the only person that comprehended what a first kiss and relationship meant to Y/N was Sirius Black, the notorious player of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He was the only one who’d not told her to get over it and instead held her hand through the period of time when she had needed someone to rely on.

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

“Y/N! Wait! Y/N/N!” Y/N reluctantly slowed down, waiting for the person calling her name to catch up to her. She found herself in the company of Sirius, Remus, and Peter once a hand quickly grabbed her and pulled her to the side of the corridor.

“What do you want?” she asked impatiently. She just wanted to go back to her common room and sleep - an evening of peace - but the universe was against her, as usual.

Peter looked around nervously at the tone of her voice whilst Remus looked as if he’d been expecting this reaction.

Sirius raised an eyebrow in question, “Have somewhere to be, do you?”

“Yes actually.”

Sirius sighed before his mouth pulled into a wide cheerful smile choosing to be the bigger person, “Well we’re all sneaking out to Hogsmeade later if you wanted to join us.”

“No thank you. I’m busy,” Y/N said pushing her way from between them and walking away.

“How long are you going to keep this up!?” he yelled after her, irritated.

Y/N froze, anger bubbling through her blood and she turned on her heel slowly to face him.

“What?” she asked slowly, her teeth gritted, and her free hand clenched in a fist.

“Padfoot, don’t,” Remus muttered in warning, placing a hand on Sirius’ arm.

“No Moony,” Sirius said shrugging his hand off, “Someone needs to tell her that enough is enough.”

“Enough? Enough!?” Y/N laughed taking a step closer to Sirius with every sentence. “Enough was when my best friend decided to date my ex despite him breaking my heart not once, not twice but three times! Enough was when my best friend decided to date the boy who left me shattered behind my back! Enough was when my best friends knew about all this and chose to keep it from me!

“Enough was when all my friends left me stranded alone.”

The pain she’d locked up inside washed over her, her knees buckling beneath her. Sirius moved swiftly, gathering her in his arms before she hit rock bottom. Y/N clutched his shirt in her fists, soaking it as she sobbed against his chest.

“I never thought something could hurt this bad,” her voice broke, tugging Sirius’ heartstrings. Y/N’s heart ached; her chest physically hurting as it constricted her heart. The pain was too much to handle; the wound tearing open and blood smearing the ears of whom the sounds of her anguish fell upon.

Sirius had always known a time like this would come. A time when he’d sit there holding the love of his life in his arms as she sobbed into his chest over his best friend, for his brother. And there was nothing he could possibly do about it.

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

If you enjoyed reading this fic, please like/comment/reblog! Your opinion/feedback is welcome, appreciated, and motivating :)

General taglist: @heloisedaphnebrightmore @pregnant-piggy @approved-by-dentists @remmyswritings @lenalxvegood​ @idont-knowrn @coffee--writes @kinkyduuh @ickle-ronniekins @the-mighty-bookworm @chaoticgirl04 @malfoyspogue @dracofeltonmalfoy @dracosmainhoe @tinylumpiaa @gcdric @theweasleysredhair @pandaxnienke @george-fabian-weasley @sarcasticallywitty15

Lmk if you want to be added to the taglist :)

[simpsamaa]

Tired Mom Squad Dating HC’s

 yes, it is I, simpsama. And I am back again with haikyuu dating headcanons. 

Today we’re doing the Tired mom Squad cause they deserve the world, and need a break from their hyperactive kids.

(these moms lowkey need a break)

ALSO

Requests are open!!

Feel free to request anything!!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Akaashi Keiji

my bby looks soo good in the SeASON FOUR-

they did him so good

ANYgayS

let’S START

Once you start to date this male you become the second mom

The team loves you

Akaashi is lowkey jealous-

Bokuto is really hyper around the two of you

“Y/N-CHAN DID YOU SEE MY SPIKE?“

Akaashi has to tell him to calm tf down-

and to get away from his s/o-

he enjoys simple PDA out in the public

Like holding hands and maybe short kisses

Bokuto will tease both of you if he sees you guys doing anything affectionate 

Lowkey loves it when you play or fix his hair

When he comes back from a game and his hair is sticking to his forehead and it’s kinda messy.

so you dry it with a towel and fix his hair-

he’s whipped for you

Loves to write small notes on snacks and put them in your locker

cause he’s adorable like that

and we love that he does that

he probably knows how to do basic things with hair

like tying it up, braiding

this man can do a lot with his fingers

😳

anygays-

when you two are alone he loves it when you lay on him

like he’s laying on his back while you’re laying on his stomach

just yk resting together

being cute

will send you good morning and good night texts at reasonable times

if he knows you stay up late he will send you texts to sleep

Will buy you things if it reminds him of you.

You have to lowkey tell him to stop wasting his money on you

thinks you’re the cutest thing in the world

‘You look really pretty today‘your face flushed as you read the words on the letter. “Oh, what’s this? Y/n-chan got a love letter?” Hana teased, catching the ears of other students.

“You’re so lucky!”

“I wish I got one”

“Who gave it to yo-” “I did“ Your hues glanced up to meet Keiji's green orbs. Girls and guys stepping back as he pulled you into his sturdy chest, causing squeals to come from the girls and guys around the two of you.

Keiji pulled you out of the group making more cheers and squeals come from the group. Your face flushed, “you know you could have told them that we were already dating,” you said, gripping your small hand in his large one. 

His green hues focused on you, giving you a small smile, “what’s the fun in that?” he asked making you let out a small groan. “But we’ve been dating for months, it’s that’s embarrassing,” you whined as Keiji took you to the rooftop.  

“But you’re cute when you’re embarrassed,” the male said bluntly making you blush even harder. “you can’t just say things like that!” you exclaimed, cheeks red, making the dark-haired male confused.

“But you are cute? I’m just telling the truth,” He said, brushing your hair behind your ear, as he gave your forehead a peck.

“I love you,” he whispered pressing his lips on to your pouting ones, you let out a satisfied hum before wrapping your arms around his neck, the male’s large hands falling to rest on your hips.

“I love you too”

“And I love you more”

We can thank Hana for taking a video of you two- thus making you guys the school’s prettiest and cutest couple.

I love this male-

I also think of him as an accidental tease

Him being very blunt with his feelings

though he does love to see you blush

it makes him all soft

you make him soft in general

Can cook

Will cook you lunch

if you can cook you both probably trade lunches with cute notes

Everyone thinks it’s adorable

calls you love, darling, sweetheart

100% Husband material

Yaku Morisuke

I lob himm

so much

ANYGAYS-

You guys meet cause you’re shorter than him-

you are the unofficial manager of the team

having to take care of hyperactive children Lev with Yaku

The team loves you as much as it loves Yaku

Though they don’t show how much they like Yaku-

but they show how much they like you

Bby has to come in and kick all his teammates away from you

is very into PDA

loves to hold your hand

grab your thigh

kiss you

will 100% kiss you in front of his team

and then the next day kuroo makes fun of both of you

Loves to walk you home after practice

If it’s late he’ll stay with you

because’s he’s yaku, he has extra clothes in his bag

like an extra uniform and sweatpants and a shirt kinda thing

he’s always prepared

If it’s been a hard day of practice and he gets bruises

he loves when you kiss over them

he goes ✨soft✨

and we love soft yaku

He also adores when you wear his clothes

cause they’re a bit too big for you

if you wear his jersey to a game

he’s gonna cry-

will play his hardest on those days to make you proud

will come home to bruises because of this

and will come home to you waiting to kiss them all

I love this bbyy if you didn’t know already

loves texting you 

and calling you when he can’t see you

Sends you adorable good morning texts and good night texts

He’s whipped

You stood in front of the door to the third gym, listening to the muffled sound of balls being spiked filled your ear. Closing your eyes you slowly opened the door, careful to not make a sound. 

Glancing up, you locked eyes with your boyfriend, a smile gracing his face before he pointed to the bench Coach Nekoma was sitting on. You gave him an adorable smile before walking over and giving the coach a small smile before sitting down.

watching as Yaku dove on the ground to dig the ball, your eyes widened as he let out a soft grunt. “Yaku-san are you okay?” Inuoka asked the third year, only to get a nod in response. 

Your eyes cast over the male’s form, watching a bruise bloom on his left knee cap. You let out a small smile before watching as the male stood up and gave Coach Nekoma a quick bow before going back into the game.

“Yaku would have sat out after that,“ the coach said making you look at him, “What do you mean?” you asked before averting your eyes to your hands. “when you’re here yaku acts stronger then he actually is,“ he simply answered before calling the boys to take a quick break.

You stood up from your spot on the bench to go see your boyfriend. The male was sitting with his back against a wall. “Mori-kun,” you said sweetly, making the brown-eyed male look up at you. “Y/n-chan!” He exclaimed before standing up, only to stagger a bit from the mishap earlier. “You should sit down,” you giggled, watching as the male followed your instruction. 

You squat down between his legs, balancing yourself on your toes. “Does your knee hurt?” you asked, your head tilting to the side. Yaku’s face flushed at how adorable you looked, “It kinda hurts” he mumbled, watching as you dropped to your knees, his bending up. 

His hues moved as he saw you press a small kiss on the blooming bruise on his knee, his face flushing a red as you took his left arm and pressed a few other kisses on his arms before pulling away to meet his eyes.

“Kisses make everything better,“ you said before you pressed a kiss onto his forehead.

“Yaku-senpai, stop kissing Y/n-senpai you have to teach me my receives,” Lev said, making you stand up and pull away from your boyfriend. “wow yaku-san, kissing in front of the first and second years.“ kuroo teased making both of your faces turn a bright red. 

“KUROO, LEV“ Yaku yelled as he chased the two around the gym. You watched with a smile at how adorable all of them were

“Morisuke-kun, I love you so much!”

Anygays-

I love this man-

as you can tell by my name-

Can cook basic things

Loves to have cooking dates with you

even if you both aren’t that good at cooking

loves dancing in the rain with you

just little things like that make his heart over the moon

10 billion percent husband material

Semi Eita

I LOVE HIS PRETTY SETTER POUT-

This male makes me s w o o n 

and I LOVE him so muchh

ANYGAYs-

You’re the manager of the boy’s volleyball when you guys meet

You get hit by ushiwaka’s spike and *plays anime ‘wow’ sound* he helps you go to the nurse and walks you back

and then you guys start dating after

Tendou loves to tease the both of you

“SEMI SEMI YOU FINALLY FOUND SOMEONE~“ 

was what the red-haired male said as he found out the two of you were dating

loves to call you babe. baby. love, darling etc.

Eita adores your height difference

loves going behind you and giving you back hugs

Though he likes PDA

he only likes PDA when you guys are in private

if in public he’ll hold your hand and give you pecks

not anything big but still things that get your heart pounding

he loves it when you hold his hand in yours and kiss his knuckles and fingers

Eita has pretty fingers

fight me-

he gets so soft around you that his teammates make fun of him

loves to talk with you at night when you can’t sleep

if anxiety and insomnia haunts you and won’t let you sleep

he’ll help you sleep and take away those thoughts

can sing

If you can’t sleep and he knows that you can’t sleep

he will call you and sing you to sleep

his voice is very rough and d e e p 

sex demon voice

will blush when you mention it 

Eita blushing is l i f e

You groaned, closing your eyes after you checked the time on your phone ‘2:46 am’. it was a school night, you were supposed to have a biology test today, which was the reason you couldn’t sleep. Anxiety was creeping up on your back, you sat up before turning your phone on again. Pulling Eita’s hood over your head you clicked on your contacts before going to his contact.

You hesitated before clicking the call button. 

Hearing the familiar ringtone Eita set for your contact only. He unplugged his phone before answering your call.

“Yes baby?” he asked, his voice laced with sleep. You felt your face blush at how he sounded, “I uh, can’t sleep...” you trailed off, feeling guilt come in your stomach. What if he found it stupid? What if he thought you were dumb?

from the other side of the phone, you heard him shift in his bed. “is there a reason you can’t sleep?” he asked after a while. You let out a small sigh, “it’s the biotest isn’t it?” eita responded before you could answer. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding before answering with a small and quick ‘yes’

“Y/n,” he said firmly, making you shift, knowing that you heard him, Eita let out a small chuckle. “You’re smart enough to pass, and you know that, “ he said before hearing you take a sharp inhale oh air. “but what if I fail?“ you questioned, so soft that Eita could barely hear it. “You won’t, I know you won’t and I believe you won’t,” the male said making your face turn a light pink. “yeah, yeah“ you sighed, a smirk coming onto eita’s face as he knew you were flushed.

“Can we facetime?” You asked, only to be met with the facetime pop up. you let out a smile before accepting it and seeing your boyfriend’s face. “I miss you” you mumble before moving to lay on your side.

“you just saw me a few hours ago, while we were studying,” Eita chuckled as he saw your adorable face. you let out a yawn before pulling your blanket over your shoulder. “Tired love?“ the ash haired male asked as he shifted onto his back.

“your voice makes me tired,” you sigh before rubbing your eye with the back of your palm. “oh really? so if I kept on talking you would fall asleep?“ Eita teased making your face turn, once again, a light pink. You’re so cute,“ He chuckled, you let out a small smile before closing your eyes.

“I love you Eita,” 

“love you more Y/n,”

Let’s just say you wake up still on face time with him, cause y’all are adorable like that🥺 

this man is so cute with you-

loves it when you wear his clothes

his shirts, hoodies, beanies, hats etc.

he loves how adorable and small you look in them

i feel like he’s the type of boyfriend who loves days where you guys just lay in bed doing nothing

loves to vook with you

if you can’t cook he’ll teach you

though it usually ends up with food everywhere and Eita’s hands on you

either way

1000000000% husband daddy material

Sugawara Koushi

suga is lowkey a freak-

fight me

i love him 

so much

ANYGAYS-

You guys meet cause you’re Daichi’s and Kiyoko’s friend!

You come into be a manager with kiyoko and when you step in the gym the first person you see is.. you guessed it Daichi cause this isn’t a typical romance anime

im jkjkjkjk

You talk with daichi and he introduces you to suga because you guys parent him too much

and you guys ✨click✨

and start dating after

You and Suga are the parents to the team

the both of you are always watching after the children Noya, Tanaka, hinata, kageyama, tsukki

Koushi adores how much you care about yachi

you act like she’s your younger sister

and he adores that

when you over work yourself he’ll make sure to calm you down

makes sure you drink lots of water, eat, sleep

and not overwork yourself again

Ya see, you think suga’s like an angel right?

nah

he’ll tease you

mess with you

He lives to see you flustered

Sends you good morning and good night texts like the good boyfriend he is

Loves to walk you home

your parents love him

PDA is a must for him

Loves to hold your hand,

press kisses on your temple and adorable nose

I feel like he likes to kiss you in general

cause he’s like that-

“Y/n-chan you look adorable today~“ Suga whispered into your ear, lightly blowing into it. You jump in surprise, turning around to see your grey haired boyfriend. “Koushi that’s not nice,“ You pouted, a heavy red blush came onto your cheeks.

“You look even cuter now,” He cooed, making your face burn more before you wrapped your arms around Sugawara’s torso, burring your  face into his sturdy chest. 

“Stop teasing me, it isn’t nice,” You mumbled, your voice being muffled by his dress shirt. “You still love me“ He grinned, before snaking his hand between himself and your face to grab your chin, pulling it up so you make eye contact with him. “And you’re the cutest thing in the world,“ Sugawara let out a small smirk before leaning down to press a small peck on your pink, pouty lips.

Your eyes widened as he pressed a kiss onto your lips. Your arms moved from his torso up to his neck. You were going to lean in for more, only for the grey haired male to move back. “Did you want more?” He asked, looking at your figure, your pink lips glossy with spit, eyes wide open in shock, you looked like the most adorable thing in this world in his eyes.

“Koushi-kun be nice, or else i won’t kiss you for a month,“ you crossed your arms over your chest, locking eyes with Sugawara’s honey brown ones. “You wouldn’t,“ Suga started, his eyes widen with fake shock. “You’d be hurting me so much,“ He finished before grabbing your hands into his large ones, taking in how soft they were compared to his. 

“Well stop messing and teasing me,“ You said playfully rolling your eyes, before the grey haired male brought your fingers up to his lips, pressing soft kisses on your knuckles. 

You gasped before your face turn pink, watching as the male kiss your hands. “You have such soft hands Y/n-chan,” Suga said before looking up to catch your eyes. Your face burning even more. 

“I love you Y/n-chan“

“STOP TEASING ME KOUSHI-KUN“

“You’ll still love me even if i tease you“

We stan this boy-

Can cook

He cooks for the rest of the third years when they don’t eat-

Loves it when you two cook together

when the two of you act domestic he gets softer then he already is-

Mornings with suga are just ✨chef’s kiss✨

Ten billion percent husband material

Iwaizuki Hajime 

I lob him sm-

Like-

my love for this male is higher then the taller bbuilding in the world

anygays-

You and Iwa are the best pair

You guys meet cause the both of you are mutual friends with Oikawa

Yes Iwa and Oikawa are friends

And you and Oikawa are friends

He probably get’s the balls to confess when he hears from Oik’s fangirls that he’s going to confess to a girl he’s close with

And Iwaizumi first thought of you-

When Oik’s was going to confess to someone else-

He runs to the gym, to find you and Oikawa talking about how’s he going to confess

He yells across the gym

“SHITTYKAWA GET YOUR HANDS OFF, THEY’RE MINE“

He just like-

confesses infront of the whole team-

And they all just fall to the ground laughing-

cause you and Oiks are COUSINS

✨not surprised gasp✨

And then you guys start dating💗

Iwai loves it when you guys cuddle on his bed

Just the two of you in each other’s presence 

And he loves the feeling of your soft skin against his rigged and hard skin.

Absolutely loves the fact that you’re so small compared to him

Once you and Iwai start dating 

the teams like

“Damn Iwa finally got a girlfriend“

and he’s like

“WDYM FINALLY?“

which is like-

we stan first off-

and we stan soft Iwai vibes

The team is shookith when you’re able to calm him down

you just walk up to him and you press a kiss on his neck before telling him, “please calm down?”

and he just turns around and calms tf down-

Makki and Matsun love to teas ethe two of you

Oikawa is lowkey pissed because when he tries to tease Iwa he gets spiked in the face with a volleyball-

Iwaizumi likes PDA in private

in public he likes to hold your hand and he loves it when you kiss his fingertips

He goes ✨soft ✨

and we love a soft Iwaizumi

You watched as your hulk of a boyfriend stood up from the bed to open the blinds and windows, to let the chilly cold air from the outside in. You shivered once it met your skin, making goosebumps pop up on your silky skin.

“Cold?” Iwaizumi chuckled as he watched you pull the navy duvet over your chest. You let out a small sigh as the warmth enveloped you before answering his question, “Yes, now cuddle with me please?“ You asked, looking up at his form, locking eyes with him. 

Your question wasn’t answered with words, but action. Your boyfriend peeled the covers off you before hopping in the bed. Quickly going to pull you into his arms. “Hajime,” you started, looking up at him and running a finger through his short locks. “You’re freezing,” You stated bluntly, making the male chuckle once more before wrapping his large arms around you. 

“Then make me warm,” he replied, making your face turn a light pink, you weren’t cold anymore. Throwing your arms over your boyfriends sturdy chest, you hooked your fingers against his ribs before laying on top of him.

“Are you warm now?“ You asked, while Iwaizumi was thankful you didn’t see his face turn pink. He let out a stuttered ‘yeah’ before wrapping his arms around you, making you stay on his chest.  

“Why is your heart beating so fast? is it because of me?“ You asked, the side of your face laid directly over his heart. Your left hand came up, tracing shapes below his collar bone. 

“Mine is beating fast too,“ You said before sitting up, bringing one of his large hands, to place it over the left side of your chest. Your heart racing as you felt his warm hand. 

“You’re adorable, you know that?“ Iwaizumi chuckled as you slid back under the covers, laying back on his chest. “How?“ You questioned, your hand going back to tracing shapes on his chest. You felt his chest rumble again as he let out another chuckle. 

“You just are,“

“I love you Hajime“

“I love you more“

“No I do“

Anygays-

y’all are adorable together

Oikawa makes fun of Iwa simping over you

Iwaizumi is a huge simp for you.

I feel like Iwai can cook

But only the basics

Ten hundred thousand million billion percent husband daddy material 

------

YAYYYYY

Thank you my lovely readers for reading this long ass Head cannons list, cause it’s very long and took a long time, i think i started this in the middle of August, and procrastinated a lot- so-

Here’s the captain’s dating hc’s too if you want to read^

--

I love you guys💗

✨Thank you for reading✨

[faulty-writes]

A scenario where Tamaki's been trying to confess to his crush for literal MONTHS but just can't ever get it out. Since his voice doesn't work around reader he decides to write a letter, penning down his innermost passions and it ends up being REALLY long with flowery Helga Pataki-esque descriptions of his feelings. But he ends up EATING the paper to prevent reader from seeing it when yn almost sees it. Later that dayduring training, his quirk manifest forces him to say everything he wrote aloud.

[ Finally your girl posts something after forever. Sorry guys! Life has been a bit crazy, I got obsessed with a couple role play groups, and of course, school. But, I’ll try to be better with my blog. I hope you all enjoy this Tamaki piece, thank you for the request dear anon! I thought this idea was a very unique take on Tamaki’s quirk. ] 

There you go again. His eyes locked on your every move as you walked through the hallway, your friends by your side, and you were laughing and smiling. Making his heart accelerate and his cheeks flush as always. It was true, Tamaki Amajiki. One of the members that made up The Big Three, had fallen for you. Unfortunately, despite trying to confess to you countless times. 

It did no good. Honestly, he didn’t know what he was thinking. He’d always be nervous when he approached you, cheeks red, and that stutter of his present. Even when he did finally manage to speak, he’d find his tongue felt like it was swollen, then he’d get more embarrassed and panic. Despite the fact, you would always ask him what’s wrong or if he needed help. 

The fact is, he was nothing but a coward. He’d turn and run which didn’t help much with his confidence considering he knew that you probably thought he was some kind of a freak. But, he had to tell you how he felt. He couldn’t stand the idea of seeing you with someone else which might sound selfish. He knew it was selfish but, he didn’t care. He wanted you all to himself and for once, maybe he deserved what he wanted. 

But, he didn’t know how to tell you. How could he reveal his feelings to you without looking silly or fearing rejection? There was only one person he thought of asking, “Well!” Nejire’s voice was as bright and cheery as ever as they sat outside a cafe. Nejire had insisted because they had good lattes and Tamaki was never one to argue. 

She smiled as she reached over to place her hand over his, the warmth and comfort from that gentle touch put him at ease for the moment. But, still, he needed an answer on what to do and eagerly waited to hear what Nejire had to say. “If you ask me, nothing says I love you more than the words of a love letter!” Tamaki’s expression completely dropped, his eyes widened and his eyebrows furrowed.

“W-What?” he questioned, he could already feel his stomach twist. That nauseous feeling of butterflies beginning to bother him, his cheeks grew unusually hot and he shook his head. “I c-can’t d-do that!” he stuttered out as his free hand tightened around the styrofoam cup he held. Nejire looked at him with a cross expression. 

“They don’t have to know who it’s from silly!” she half scolded, “Besides maybe it’ll help you sort out what you really want to say to them!” she suggested with a bright smile that made Tamaki groan in response. “I c-can’t! T-That’s so e-embarrassing and w-what if t-they find out the l-letter was f-from me!? W-What am I s-supposed to do?! W-What am I supposed t-to say?” he questioned and Nejire shook her head before slowly getting up from her seat. 

“Well duh!” she said before reaching over to lightly knock on Tamaki’s head, something that caught his attention but also made him flinch. He leaned back with a present frown on his face, “D-Duh what?” he asked, growing a little scared as she leaned over. He didn’t exactly like that smile on her face. “Then you have nothing left to hide,” she concluded as she reached up to boop his nose which made him wiggle it in response. 

He then looked down, nervous eyes shifting back and forth, “I...I d-don’t know,” he said which had Nejire sighing and she placed her hands on her hips. “Just start with the love letter and see where it goes from there, you may not believe it Amajiki, but you’re pretty brave when you’re determined,” she said before patting his shoulder. “Don’t forget that,” she said, smiling yet again before she walked away. 

Leaving him sitting there alone, his body hunched over the table as a gentle breeze came to ruffle his hair. Should he try to write you a love letter? Sure it sounded easy, but what if he got nervous and ended up writing the wrong thing? Was there a right or wrong way to write something as personal as a love letter? Your feelings across paper? Well, he supposed it wouldn’t hurt to try.

So he purchased a notebook and pen and began to get to work, at first he found it rather difficult. His words were sloppy and lacking the meaningful nature he wanted them to. But, on occasion, this would change. Especially when he saw you in the hallway or in class, he couldn’t help but feel a rush of inspiration and would always write the words that screamed from his heart when he was near your presence. 

He often rewrote the confessions he had, longing for them to be perfect. He was almost finished with what he believed to be the perfect love letter and though he was still unsure how he’d give it to you. He was currently sitting in the library, body hunched over the table as he neared the end of his letter. All that was left were those three big words, the words he was too shy to speak. 

But, the ones that he longed to scream from the top of his lungs, the ones that could only be used to summarize how he felt about you. His pen continued to glide across the lined paper, prepared to write ‘I love you’ before he jumped. You had noticed Tamaki around and while you knew he was a member of The Big Three, you had never actually had a full conversation with him. 

Though you had class together and on occasion, you got the chance to fight side by side with him. He was amazing and you admired him for the heroism he showed, it was almost silly to think he was the same shy boy you saw roaming through the halls. You had always wanted to try and become friends with him, given you knew from past experience he tended to stutter and honestly couldn’t hold up a conversation. 

Still, you were determined to try. Of course, you hadn’t expected him to jump when you spotted him in the library and decided to walk over. You noticed he was writing something and couldn’t help but try and sneak a peek at it, looked pretty serious. You blinked before lowering your mouth to his adorable elf-like ear. “Hi Amajiki-san!” the cry that left his mouth ended up scaring you and without thinking. 

You stumbled back and watched as his head turned, those precious indigo-colored eyes wide and fearful and his cheeks dusted over a faint red. “Y-Y/n!?” he exclaimed before pulling the notebook to his chest, fingers securely grasping it. Hiding the written evidence of his feelings for you, despite you having no knowledge of his feelings for you in the first place or how he was trying to convey them through written words. 

You did, however, know he was hiding something and couldn’t help but smirk. “Hm?” you raised your hand, pointing a finger at the notebook. “What are you trying to hide there, Amajiki-san?” you questioned as you took a step closer, reaching out to grab his upper arm. You tugged on his sleeve and Tamaki let out a soft whine. “N-Nothing! I-It’s nothing!” he stuttered out, feeling his stomach twist into knots. 

He hoped he wouldn’t get nauseous, you were so close. You were touching him! “Oh? If it’s nothing then why are you hiding it?” you questioned in a teasing manner as you took a firmer grip and yanked his arm away. “Show me, I’m curious! Is it a project? Essay?!” the questions left your mouth in an excited manner. “I-It’s not uh, h-hey!” you had reached over and snatched the notebook away. 

“Oh boo, let me at least proofread it for you,” Tamaki’s stomach flipped upside down and his hand was clutching his chest, twisting the fabric of the signature red tie of his school uniform. He couldn't let you read it! He’d die! But there you were, holding his notebook with his dedicated words of love scribbled across it. “Now then,” you turned your attention to the notebook, about to read the first line just as the sound of a chair falling came. 

You jumped and turned to look but before you could react you felt a strong hand around your wrist. “Amajiki-san!” you exclaimed, prepared to activate your quirk or at least find your way out of his grip. But then, another noise echoed through the air. Your attention shifted back to the notebook and your jaw dropped as you realized he had ripped out the single page you were trying to read.

“Amajiki!” you scolded again, “S-Sorry! B-But you c-can’t see t-this!” he said as he proceeded to crumble the paper into a ball. You looked at him bewildered as he then shoved said ball into his mouth. “Uh…” was the only sound that managed to come out of your mouth as you watched him chew and proceed to swallow the paper. You blinked, lowering the notebook. 

Jaw hanging open in absolute awe at what you had just witnessed. Tamaki on the other hand had an itchy throat, and when the crumbled paper reached his stomach. He felt a small ache, which prompted him to place a hand over his stomach. His face was completely red, all the way to the pointy tips of his ears. “G-God, that w-was e-embarrassing u-uh…” he couldn’t even bear to look at you. 

He did, however, reach out to snatch his notebook back. The action caused you to gasp and you took a step back, your mind still trying to process what had just occurred. Damn, was it that much of a secret he had to eat it? What sense did that make? Still, you watched as he took the notebook and put everything into his backpack before scurrying away. Strange. 

You knew you’d see him in just a few moments, given you had class and hero training together. But, you weren’t entirely sure if you wanted to see him after he pulled such a strange stunt. “Uh...okay, bye then?” you said, clearly still confused despite the fact he was long gone. You placed your hands on your hips and sighed. “Well, wonder if I’ll see anything stranger than that today,” you shrugged and exited the library. 

It was almost a nightmare trying to sit through class, much less pay attention to the lesson. It didn’t help that you sat near Tamaki either, but he seemed to give you the cold shoulder. Not so much as dare to take a glance at you, though you happened to notice his hand was over his stomach. Maybe he had a stomach ache, though after consuming a whole piece of paper splattered with ink.

It didn’t surprise you much, if at all. Still, you couldn’t help but wonder just what he had to hide. When afternoon came, you seemed to have forgotten about the strange incident as soon as you slipped on your hero attire. You grinned as you walked alongside your classmates to Ground Gamma, given you couldn’t help but glance over at Tamaki. 

He was currently talking to Nejire, but you noticed his face was twisted in some form of discomfort. “Y/n...Y/n!!!” you snapped out of your thoughts before turning to face one of your classmates. “Huh? What?” it was a little shameful you had zoned out, but even so. The teachers had decided that instead of team exercises, you’d be facing each other one on one. 

This disappointed you as you rather enjoyed working with your classmates to form tactical strategies and such, but it was important for heroes to learn how to work on their own as well. The who versus whom opponents were randomized as to assure fairness and the element of surprise, you were hoping you’d be one of the first students to show your skills in combat.

But, unfortunately, you weren’t and much like the other student heroes in training, you had to stand back and observe. Though you found yourself growing bored and decided to take a seat on the ground, pulling your knees up to your chest and sporting a dull expression. You glanced over at Tamaki once more, taking note that he was still holding his stomach and Nejire was patting his shoulder. 

You assumed she was telling him he was fine. As the second pair of students finished their training exercise, you leaned back and gave a loud yawn which seemed to catch your teacher’s attention. “Y/n,” they said and you turned to look at them with a raised eyebrow, but answered nonetheless. “Yes?” you replied, “Since you seem so bored, I’ll give you a task. Next match, Suneater verse Y/n!” your eyes widened and you sported a dumbfounded expression. 

“W-What?” you questioned and your teacher merely smirked at you, was that even legal? You knew your teachers were also pro heroes and as such, should be respected. But, sometimes you couldn’t help but question their teaching methods. Your classmates seemed rather surprised, whispering how lucky you were to be facing a member of The Big Three and how you’d more than likely get your ass kicked. 

Tamaki didn’t seem to take the news very well either, in fact, his face twisted into what you could only describe as pure fear. “Uh, I d-don’t think-” he tried to protest, but the teacher cut him off quickly and ordered you two to start at opposite ends of the training ground. You looked to Tamaki and shrugged, “May the best student win?” once you had taken your position among the twisted landscape of metal piping. 

You crouched down, going through strategies that could possibly give you an advantage. You wouldn’t let the fact he was a member of The Big Three bother you, even though this all boiled down to one thing. You had to try your best, with that in mind. You decided to lay low and take a running start, keeping your eyes and ears open for Tamaki. 

Carefully avoiding those obnoxious pipes in your way before you heard a noise. It was just a small creek, but you knew better than to believe it was just Ground Gamma settling. You stopped briefly, legs bent and ready to make an escape if you needed to. You stared into the abyss of metal before suddenly a tentacle shot out toward you, but a quick dodge saved you from being captured and you took off. 

Slithering between big and small pipes alike before you decide to ricochet between two of them, angling your body so you landed on top of a sturdy pipe. You quickly turned on your feet, glancing over the landscape once more. Your eyes searching for any sight or sign of Tamaki, you also had to be aware those tentacles of his could be trouble. With that idea, you quickly looked down. 

Ensuring there was no sight of those powerful octopus arms, you then opted to travel above the pipes. Easily jumping from one to the next, your head turning back and forth despite the fact that wind was ruffling your hair and causing your bangs to sway in your face. But, it was quiet. Everything was so quiet which it shouldn’t be, Tamaki’s steps couldn’t be that silent, unless...he wasn’t on the ground. 

Your eyes widened at the realization and from the corner of your eye, you saw a single brown feather. “Oh no,” you turned your head as a shadow cast over you. Instantly, your jaw dropped as you saw him. Tamaki, Suneater, the best of the best. Right above you, brown wings spread to their span. His right hand was morphed into long tentacles and his left shaped into a clamshell.

Before you could blink, those wings flapped and the next thing you recalled was a hard hit to your stomach. It threw you off balance and you fell a good few feet before reaching the ground. Pain surged through your person and a long groan escaped you. Every fiber of your being was screaming for you to get back up, but you were too slow. You heard Tamaki land behind you, but he said nothing as he approached you.

Which at the moment, was scary even though he was normally a quiet and reserved person. However, you yelped when you felt those tentacles proceed to wrap around you, binding your arms by your sides. Your quirk was useless without the movement of your hands and knowing that simple fact, you couldn’t help but clench your jaw. It seemed Tamaki had to add insult to injury as you felt the pressure of his enlarged chicken foot against your back. 

“I think...y-you’re...done…” came his words, seems he was always a tad braver when he was Suneater which made sense. You turned your head as much as you could, sending a glare toward him. You were usually better than this, but to get bested this quickly. It only reminded you of how much further you had to go before you could truly call yourself a hero. 

“Suneater…” you hissed out, flexing your arms as you attempted to get out of his grip. Tamaki however, felt his stomach twist again and his face once more showed discomfort. Maybe eating that letter was a bad idea. It certainly wasn’t settling in his stomach right, and his heart was racing at an unusual speed. But, he felt a strange sense of happiness course through his body as well. 

“Y/n, I think you’re my love,” a gasp left his mouth and you felt those tentacles retract. You pressed your hand to the ground, now looking at Tamaki with a wide-eyed expression. “W-What?” you questioned, wondering if you heard him correctly. But, judging by the way he was holding his hands over his mouth and how red his face was turning. 

You assumed you had indeed heard the words he had spoken correctly. He took a step back and you noticed his wings were disappearing, was his quirk so consciously controlled that when he was distracted by overwhelming emotions it became faulty? You were more than certain that if the teachers and fellow hero students were still watching, they would be confused as to why Tamaki had let you go.

You slowly rose to your feet, though your body. Mostly your ribs coursed with a dull ache which had you grasping your side. Your eyes were locked on Tamaki as he shook his head and took a step back, his hands tightened around his mouth to prevent it from opening again. But, it was no good. His jaw ached and he couldn’t stop himself, painfully he opened his mouth and more confusing words spilled. 

“I...have...been watching you...for so long! I see...you in the...h-halls...and I…” his body went tense as he forced his jaw closed once more, teeth pressing tightly together. What was happening? He had no idea, but he needed to be quiet or else. Oh God, was this because he had eaten the confession he wrote? Your jaw was hanging open, unsure of how to process the words he was speaking. 

First, he ate a piece of paper, now this? You took a step back when Tamaki stepped forward, “Uh, T-Tamaki, are you okay?” you questioned before he opened his mouth once more, his eyes watering over which concerned you all the more. “I...f-freeze! You’re the one...p-plaguing...my t-thoughts, my desires…I,” Tamaki’s jaw clenched once more and he leaned over, his hands curling into fists. 

“I w-want you...my l-love,” your heart began to pound in your chest, being called ‘my love’ by Tamaki of all people. Well, it was sweet. But, you couldn’t ignore the fact this was clearly not a willing confession. Something was making him speak against his will, maybe his quirk? His voice was strained and breathless which only furthered your assumption he was truly fighting with himself.

“I...long...t-to hold…y-you! My darling...and b-be your hero, to c-cradle and protect...y-you!” his body was trembling as he raised his hand, fingers spread out and palm facing toward you. Your eyes shifted to that hand, eyebrows furrowing together. “Uh...Tamaki,” you said, though you were tempted to take that hand. “I long...t-to be yours!” he stumbled forward, his face was hot and he could feel droplets of sweat fall from his person.

The fact his cheeks were completely red was a good indication he was embarrassed by what he was saying which caused you to frown. You planted your feet on the ground, knowing that you couldn’t exactly run away or restrain him in his current state in order to win. That wasn’t a fair fight and in addition, you knew heroes don’t run from those in need. 

However, it seemed even in his...current abnormal state. He was still in control of some of the aspects of his quirk, in fact, before you could properly react. Those tentacles were around one of your arms, the suction cups digging into your skin and taking firm grip. “Amajiki!” you took a step back, trying to pull your arm out of his grip. But, it was no use as you just got pulled forward again. 

“AMAJIKI,” you warned again, going as far as to reach over and begin to claw at those tentacles. The sound of your shoes scraping against the metal ground wasn’t exactly comforting, neither was the fact you knew you were going to lose this small struggle. “I w-want to be your husband...one day! Scream your name...f-from the rooftops! My love...my one and o-only!” you shook your head, now growing afraid of the shy reserved boy. 

Especially when he finally pulled you forward, causing you to shriek. Your hand was out as you collided with his chest and you immediately felt the pressure of his arm against your lower back. His nails digging into your hip which made you hiss. But he continued to speak, “Just let me h-hold you and soak y-your body in! M-Melt together in a beautiful...ember of love and j-joy,” you blinked, trying to jerk your body out of his grip.

But, it was of little use. He leaned over and you shivered when you felt the soft skin of his face bury itself into your hair. “You are...my w-whole world…” he sucked in a breath, still fighting but it was beginning to hurt. His stomach felt heavy, too weighed down. He needed to say everything, “Fear and c-courage, the one...s-sole purpose in my life...i-is you,” the words were mumbled slightly and he lifted his head. 

“I won’t g-give up. I’ll f-fight the army that holds m-my love hostage, I want you to be...m-mine,” your eyes widened and you wanted to tilt your head up and look at him, but you were almost afraid to. “My l-love and my heart, the one...I w-wish to worship. D-Drop to my knees...a-and kiss your skin,” he choked out and you could feel those tentacles loosen around you. 

“Tamaki…?” his name came out of your mouth in a soft whisper and you finally lifted your head to look at him. His face was still twisted, a painful expression spread across it and you gasped as he leaned close. You were taken back by the intense expression that danced in his eyes and your face began to grow red. “I want t-to set up a s-shrine...pray to your p-powerful aura,” this was just getting weird, but somehow you knew it was the truth which made it even scarier. 

You were tempted to run when those tentacles finally retracted, but you didn’t have time to even think about such as Tamaki’s hand now gently took hold of your chin. You felt a lump form in your throat as you found yourself staring into Tamaki’s eyes. “Forever...m-more...until the end of my...d-days...I...” he suddenly stopped and his breath hitched.

You opened your mouth to speak, but no words came out. However, you let out another shriek when Tamaki suddenly dropped to the ground. You stumbled back, not having expected such a thing. The sound of his panting filled the air and you watched as he reached up and ran his hand through his hair. Such didn’t help the sweat that covered his person and your eyebrows furrowed once more. 

“I...Amajiki, are you...I mean...everything you said...was it…” you were almost afraid to ask and took a sharp breath which caused a shooting pain to course through your ribs. You latched onto your lip to prevent yourself from hissing and Tamaki slowly lifted his head to look at you. His eyes full of horror and regret, “I...I…” he wasn’t sure what to say, what could he say?

He wasn’t entirely sure what made him say what he did, every word he spoke was in his letter. Did eating it make an effect on his quirk? He groaned and covered his face, saying no more before he took off running in the opposite direction. It took you a moment to fully realize the Big Three member was indeed making a run for it, “Amajiki, wait!” you called out, your hand outstretched in his direction.

Your teachers and fellow students who witnessed this odd interaction were currently scratching their heads, trying to piece together what could have possibly happened to cause one of the top students to run with his tail between his legs. But, the fact you were being watched through this whole exercise was the last thing on your mind. 

You couldn’t help but run after Amajiki, your feet pounding against the metal flooring of Ground Gamma. While you had lost sight of him, you knew there was only one place he could have gone. To the end of the training ground where the exit was located, though you weren’t as fast as Tamaki which caused some anxiety as you hoped he’d be where you thought he was. 

When you reached the location of the exit, you leaned over with your hands on your knees. The sound of your soft panting filled the air before you wiped your brow. Your jaw then clenched as you tried your best to ignore the pain in your ribs, the exit to Ground Gamma was a large hallway with very dim lighting. In a way, it made you uneasy seeing Tamaki there. 

Despite being dressed in his hero attire, he was facing the wall. His forehead pressed against it and you could tell he was trembling, you had known Tamaki to do this exact thing. Given the fact he was rather shy and suffered from anxiety, you frowned and slowly approached him. “Amajiki,” you said, your voice was soft. But, that didn’t stop the fact that Tamaki ducked his head. 

You reached your hand out, wanting to touch him but you decided against it for now. You took a deep breath, “Um, so…” you reached up, scratching the side of your temple. Where would you even begin? “I’m not sure...what that was but...did you mean it? Everything you said?” Tamaki wanted to smack his head against the wall, your question left his stomach twisting with butterflies. 

Honestly, part of him wished his heart would stop as opposed to continue to pound inside his chest. Of course, everything he said was the truth as terribly spoken and previously written down as it was. He honestly didn’t know what he was doing. In fact, he had never written a love letter before and though he had made countless drafts. It seemed he just wasn’t talented enough to write such romantic words on paper. 

“Mm…” is the only way he managed to respond to you. “Mm? Amajiki…” you paused and decided to finally reach out, placing your hand on his shoulder.  However, he seemed to shy away from your touch. Shuffling to the side, you let out a sigh and lowered your hand. A friendly touch wouldn’t do anything in this case and you didn’t know the other Big Three members well enough to ask them how to properly handle Tamaki when he got like this. 

You’d feel bad if you left him all alone, but it didn’t seem as though he wanted your company at the current moment. You glanced down, hearing the sound of wind echo through the open exit way. You turned your head to look around, you knew you couldn’t afford to waste any more time. 

Else your teacher would begin to look for you or another verse competition would start. “Amajiki…” you said yet again, allowing your hands to rest by your sides. “Regardless if...what you said was true or not, I think we need to leave an-” before you could say anything more.

Tamaki had turned and began to sprint away and it honestly made your heart sink. You watched him disappear from view again and let out a sigh, maybe you’d confront him about it later. But, if what he said was true. Well, you’d need to figure out how you felt about it.

[wandsandwheezes]

Wild Child | F.W

Wild Child x Harry Potter AU // 3k words // this is all thanks to @starlightweasley​ for making it happen and giving me the inspiration + plot to do it!!

this whole fic is dedicated to her because she deserves it sfm!!!

taglist ;  @weasleysflowr​ @wand3ringr0s3​ @gcdric​ @theweasleysredhair​ @hufflepuffgirly @whiz-bangs78​ @starlightweasley @slytherinsunrise @cappsikle​ @minty-malfoy​ @vivianweasley​ @vogueweasley​ @feetoffthetablee​ @thisismynerdyself​ @witch-and-a-half @sarcasticallywitty15​ @pandaxnienke​

Two months ago the worst day of your life happened. Two months ago your father dragged you, kicking and screaming, to a portkey- ready to ship you off to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. “Y/N, this is the last straw! I have had it up to here with your pranks.” you screamed back at him, pulling your hand from his grip, “You ship me off to England for what? To replace me like you replaced mom? Real jerk move dad.” The second you laid eyes on the overbearing castle you already knew you hated it. 

You were now laid back against your uncomfortable bed, rolling your eyes, “FYI this place sucks, I can’t even breathe properly with how stuffy these uniforms are and don’t even get me started on the lack of fun and opportunities for pranks. It’s H-E-double L here.” Hermione, pulls a chair up next to your poster bed, resting against one of the posts. “You could at least try and have fun, you know. It’s not all that bad when you forget about the lack of sun and abundant rain.” Ginny looks up from her book, swinging her legs so they’re dangled off the windowsill, “If you’re so desperate to leave, you’ll just have to get yourself expelled - simple pranks and mischief isn’t enough to do it, think bigger.” you sigh pushing yourself to sit up, wrapping your arms around your legs and resting your head on your knees.” 

A debate ensued as the evening grew, Hermione taking herself away from the conversation and to the common room to avoid any chance of getting roped into expulsion with your antics. “If we’re going big with pranks, there’s nobody better to go to than Fred and George.” Parvati suggests, “Even better you could try snogging one of them, It would send Umbridge mad.” Padma adds, Ginny retches at the idea, turning up her nose with disgust but laughing a little “The thought of anyone snogging any one of my brothers is ghastly, but It’s not a bad Idea, from what I’ve heard they’re not looking to stick around with the pink devil here.” You smile softly, looking up at Ginny as she continues, “Let’s get you your ticket home for Christmas!”

Sure you had played quidditch back home but you were only ever a reserve, so when ginny flew down to you, yelling that you had to take her place, not only was your heart beating out of your chest, but you suddenly questioned any and all experience you had on a quidditch pitch. Maybe you didn’t know how to play, maybe your Ilvermorny friends were lying when they said you had talent. Before you knew it, you were whizzing around the pitch, quaffle in hand, ready to score. Gryffindor were ahead 40 points by the time Harry had caught the golden snitch, meaning that not only had you helped in scoring goals, but you were on the winning team! 

“Not bad, Y/L/N, I didn’t know they taught good sports across the pond,” you scoff with a laugh, walking next to the tall, red haired boy as he pushes his sweat soaked hair back and you couldn’t help but think of how attractive he was, he looked down at you, stopping you from waking, wiping a stray bit of mud from your cheek with the pad of his thumb, licking his other finger to move back in to wipe the rest away, causing you to push him away with a laugh, “I don’t want your spit anywhere near me, Weasley” he smiles, “hmm, are you sure about that?” he grabs your wrist, locking eyes for a moment - you swear you could feel the tension surrounding the both of you, so thick that it could be cut with a knife, only being broken away by the sound of a high pitched scream, causing you both to spin to look in the direction of the noise. “I take it Draco found my nice little gift, I always knew he was a proud slytherin.” Fred’s eyes widen, a smirk cracking across his lips. “You didn’t.” you nodded, starting to make your way to the Gryffindor changing rooms, “Oh, I did, just a little harmless charmed shampoo,” you shrug, he follows after you, shaking his head with a small laugh “You’re trouble, you are.”

Seeing Draco walk into the great Hall for dinner that evening was a sight to see, his bright green hair and eyebrows were unmissable, it was truly a look that turned heads, You, Ginny and the rest of the team were filling your boots on the feast before the victory party continued in Gryffindor Tower. “God, if Umbridge doesn’t punish you for that on her lap dog's plea, you’re crazy, Y/N” There were laughs between mouthfuls and cheers, “She’s only learning from the best, isn’t that right?” you shake your head, taking a sip of juice “Freddie, you of all people should know I was trouble before I’d even met you.”

If there was one thing you’d learned, the English love to party and when they party, they party hard. Bottles of firewhisky were cracked open, music blaring from god knows where, there was laughter, shouting, dancing, games and kissing or, as they call it, snogging everywhere you looked. You were high off the win alone, feeling happy for one of the first times in your few months here, you had supportive friends and most of all you had a piece of your home. Your mum was a brilliant Chaser in her time, or so your father had told you. You had lost your mum in the aftermath of the first wizarding war, a death eater seeking her out all the way across the pond and killing her in front of your father. You were only three and although you don’t remember much of her, you do remember the songs she used to sing and just how magical she made your young childhood, much to the dismay of your father. You felt your chest tighten and tears prick the back of your eyes, causing you to run from the wild party.

Fred caught you fleeing the party, even the small glimpse of your sad face breaking his heart a little, never had he seen a girl as beautiful as you cry. He felt compelled to follow you and over some consolation, he was drawn to you like you were tethered by a piece of string, following your every step till he found you crouched in a corner on the floor, staring out across the black lake. He joined you on the cold stone floor, sitting across from you. “It’s not like the wild child to not be out there as the life and soul of the party,” Fred jokes, punching your arm lightly, causing you to look up at him with a puffy eyed scowl, “okay, no jokes then.” he sighs, pulling you into his side, rubbing his hand up and down your arm comfortingly. You open up to him about losing your mother and how you feel absolutely alienated by your dad, listening intently, not daring to interrupt. “I’ll make you a deal,” he speaks up after a long sigh from you, “No more head-fry behaviour, though, I sense it may be your forte” you smile a little, the corner of your mouth turning up into a smile, “I won’t fry your head if you don’t poach my heart.” he smiles tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, “an eggcellent deal.” 

As you’re walking through the halls on your way to divination, a pep in your step from a good night’s sleep and a new focus, finally you’re starting to actually feel as if Hogwarts was the place to be and you feel yourself growing happier and happier with every day you spend here. You’re distracted from your thoughts when you feel yourself being pulled hurriedly into a side corridor by your hand, Fred was staring down at you, his hand pressed against the wall by your head as he traps you between the stone and his own body, “How would you feel about a going to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?” he asks quietly, “Why all the secrecy Freddie? Don’t want to be caught fraternising with the enemy?” he laughs pressing a kiss to your cheek, “No, I just don’t want Umbridge finding out I’ve broken her six inch rule, but if you’re happy to risk it we can  head to divination hand in hand now.” he grabs your hand, lacing your fingers together, you giggle shaking your head, “We had a deal, no head frying.” he looks behind his shoulder before giving you some space, allowing you to continue your walk, “You didn’t answer me about the weekend.” you spin on your heel to look at him, continuing to walk backwards, “I think it would be eggciting, Freddie.” you spin back around to follow on with your journey, leaving the tall boy blushing and laughing to himself. 

Freddie Weasley was a dime away from being a whole gentleman, he picked you up from the great hall and walked with you side by side to the small wizarding town, “I didn’t put you as a girl who enjoyed walking.” he joked, nudging you with his shoulder, you roll your eyes, “Well, I didn’t expect a flying car or anything,” he smiles, scratching the back of his neck, “well actually, my dad used to own one of those,” your jaw dropped, gasping a little, “As if!” He pushes open the door to the three broomsticks, sitting you down at a table as he shrugs off his jacket, hanging it over the chair, leaving to head over to the bar, he returns with a tray carrying two drinks and a plate. “Here you go, trouble.” he puts the drink in front of you, with you now being able to spot the contents of the plate, “Bread and fries, that's my treat?” he laughs, placing a few of the chips inside the slice of buttered bread, handing you the foreign looking sandwich “If I affect your life in no other way, then allow me this honour, the humble chip butty and a butterbeer ” You gingerly take the food into your hands, looking at it cautiously before directing your attention to the drink, scanning it for a few moments, “Here we go.” you take a small bite, the softness of the bread clashed with the hot chips which had melted the butter ever so slightly, it wasn’t unpleasant but it was definitely weird, “Kind of gross, but I like it.” you pop down the sandwich, taking a sip of the butterbeer. 

After a few moments of talking, you found yourself staring into Fred’s eyes deeper and for longer, as if it no longer mattered what the two of you were saying, as long as you were with each other. “There’s something about you, Y/N,” he says, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear “Every moment I’m with you I catch my breath.” your hand presses gently against his chest, balling up the material of his t-shirt in your hand to pull him in closer. Before you knew it, your lips had connected in a soft, gentle kiss and you felt yourself melting into his touch. You were slowly coming to realise that the thing that could aid your leaving may actually be enticing you to stay. The kiss didn’t last long but it left your head spinning. 

You had made your way towards the black lake, sitting on the verge just by the water, a blanket wrapped over both your shoulders, sat talking and watching the sunset as it changed and faded the colours in the sky. You were enamoured by him. Why did you have to fall so hard for him? “I need to tell you something.” he confessed, you lift your head from where it was resting on his shoulder, “What is it?” you shift a little so that you can look into his eyes but he averts your gaze. “George and I, we’re leaving here, to set up a shop down In London, I feel guilty for not telling you sooner but I didn’t think I’d fall for you as hard as I have.” He takes a deep breath, you’re stunned for words. “I’m sorry.” he breathes out finally. You grab his face, pressing a quick kiss to his lips, “Don’t ever be sorry for following your dreams, Freddie.” 

In the week or so after your date with Fred, you noticed you hadn’t seen him as much and you wondered If there had been something you’d done wrong. Surely not, he must’ve just been busy planning the perfect exit, so you left him to it, until a whole two weeks had passed. You spotted him turning down a side hall, unmistakable tall, lanky, ginger - it must be him. You hurried down the corridor, yelling after the boy, “Freddie, wait!” hearing your voice made him walk a little faster, your shorter legs struggling to make a gain on him, you stop and shout once more, “Why do you keep avoiding me?” he stops bolt in his tracks, giving you an opportunity to catch up on him. “I’m surprised you want anything to do with such a plain English boy, collecting me like a trophy to brag to your Ilvermorny friends about how easy I was, or was that just another one of your cruel pranks to finally get yourself expelled?” you look up at him, brow furrowed In confusion. “Where did you get that from, Fred? I care about you, I really do.” he rolls his eyes, pushing past you, muttering under his breath, yet still audible enough for you to hear “bullshit.” You run back after him, “Freddie, you’re right, I was trying to get myself expelled, and I knew that being associated with you would do it with how much Umbridge despises you and Gorge, you have to believe that it was a horrible to do that to you at the start but- i've fallen for you.” he sighs, rubbing his temples, “It’s too late, Umbridge is already looking for you, Looks like you’ll get your wish after all.” A tear rolls down your cheek, “Freddie, I-” he cuts you off by pressing a kiss to your cheek, “I’m sorry, trouble.”

The full flood gates open, as you make your way back to Gryffindor tower, tears streaming down your cheeks but your sobs are silent. How had you managed to lose the best thing to happen to you and get yourself expelled? You admire every inch of the castle grounds as you walk, fearing it’s the last time you may see it, when a picture catches your eye, locked in a cabinet full of trophies, medals and awards, you see a reflection of yourself staring back, “mom?” you whisper, pulling out your wand to unlock it with an ‘alohomora’, you grab the picture off the shelf, locking the cabinet again. McGonagall finds you wandering aimlessly, guiding you to Dumbledore’s office, “I have a feeling you will want to speak to him before your Father arrives,” she explains “Don’t worry, he’s expecting you.”

“Ah, Miss Y/N, I see you have found your way into my office,” He speaks quickly, as you come into his view, “I remember when your mother stood not too far from where you are stood before me now; a bright young student, a star quidditch player and not to mention a true hero against all odds. I take you found the photo of her in the cabinet, as you are clutching it so tightly.” you were at a loss for words, “You knew my mom?” you questioned, “Very well indeed, She was one of the best in her year, when word arrived of her death I sent all the help I could give to your father, I told him you would always find a home here at Hogwarts.” you sighed, wiping the tears from your cheeks, “Then why am I being expelled?” you query, Dumbledore pauses for a moment, “You will learn a great many things here in your time, and already I see a change, you have gained knowledge, strength, integrity, good-will and determination. You have proven that you have the capacity to do well here and as I said Hogwarts will always be your home.” you smile, “Then I can stay, can I, Professor?” The old man chuckles “You have a quidditch game to get ready for, go out there and make your mother proud.” he smiles at you, you smile back at him gratefully. “Thank you, Professor.” 

You run out, standing next to Fred, breathless from changing so quickly, “I thought you were getting expelled,” he joked, “As did I, I thought you hated me.” he sighed, grabbing your hand and giving it a squeeze, “Never. It’s good to have you back, trouble, even though you backed out of our deal.” you laughed, “What deal, Freddie?” you lace your fingers together, “that you won’t fry my head.” you bring his hand up to your lips, pressing a kiss to his knuckles. “Yeah, but you poached my heart.” He smiles, leaning in to press a kiss to your forehead. “Good luck out there, trouble.” your heart flutters, “Good luck to you too, Freddie.” 

[imaginesandinserts]

Irreverent Pt. 41 - Promises

Title: Irreverent Pt. 41 - Promises Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Reader Rating: M Words: 5789

Irreverent Series Masterlist

It was only the second day of the New York case and the team was still building the profile on the unsub. You were all settled into the conference room and reviewing the case with fresh eyes. You were validating the geographic profile Reid had built and circled a potential centroid for the attacks. Looking back at him, he nods, agreeing with your addition. Everyone broke for lunch when Rossi came back carrying the sandwiches from your favorite Italian deli in the city.

"Okay, I need thirty minutes of talking about anything but the case," JJ says, leaning back in her chair and popping a potato chip into her mouth.

Hotch, Reid, and Rossi were already engaged in a discussion around unsubs who chose arson as their means of killing. You knew Rossi was collecting material for his next book and you'd made him promise to let you read a draft when he had more.

"Well, Eastwood has been blowing me off," Emily responds, fulfilling JJ's request for a case-free lunch.

"When was your last date?" Derek asks, swiping chips out of your bag. Apparently he didn't want his barbeque flavored ones anymore. You shake your head, exchanging chip bags with him.

"We hung out two weeks ago at his place. Netflix and chilled, as the kids say," she answers.

"Well that's your problem," you tell her, taking a large bite of your sandwich. It was perfect, just how you remembered it. You might love Georgetown, but food in New York would always be superior.

At her raised eyebrow, you continue. "You hang out with men you have romantic interest in. You're not supposed to just hang out with them. That makes them passive. You want them to plan a date, court you, put in some effort."

"Didn't you and Hotch hang out all the time before you got together?" JJ questions.

Aaron turns at the sound of his name to tune in to the other conversation at the table.

"That's different. We didn't start out romantically. I've never hung out with a man who I'm only interested in dating. You want to stay in the girlfriend box, not the friend and sexual partner box," you explain, sharing a look with Aaron. He knew your views on dating very well by now. You were old school when it came to things like that, which was good because so was he. Aaron always put in the time and effort to plan dates for the two of you, despite your busy work schedules and Jack. After you had moved in together, you'd told him he didn't have to do that, but he liked doing it. He enjoyed the process of planning something special, the two of you getting dressed up, and seeing your eyes light up when you figured out what he had in mind for the night. It might not happen as much as in the beginning, but that only made it more noteworthy when it did.

"Hmm, so you're saying I should stop hanging out with him? Blow him off?"

"Yes, let him put in the effort. You are a lady, you deserve to be treated as such. And if he doesn't try, then good riddance. You can do better than some middle aged man whose idea of a date is inviting you over to his couch. Regardless, you shouldn't be dating just one person anyways until he's your boyfriend."

Emily hums, taking a bite of her sandwich and thinking over what you said. You know she's going to realize the validity of it. Especially if Eastwood lets her down again.

Suddenly there's a loud commotion coming from outside the precinct and you all look around curiously. It sounds like a bunch of people arguing with one another. Derek gets up and peeks out through the blinds to see what's going on.

"Looks like a bunch of photographers," he says, moving to open the blinds entirely.

"No, don't." You stand to stop him and see the team look at you curiously.

"It's probably just reporters wanting details on the case," Aaron says, looking at you oddly. You've abandoned your sandwich entirely and you have a panicked look on your face that seems disparate with the situation.

"It's photographers, right? Not reporters and news cameras?" you ask.

Derek peeks out again and scans the crowd, before turning back and nodding.

"What's going on?" Aaron asks.

"It's not for the case," you tell him, a frown on your face. You'd been a little worried about this happening but hopeful that it had been long enough that it might not be an issue. With that, you walk out to speak with one of the uniformed officers in the precinct, leaving the entire team questioning what was happening.

Aaron and Derek left to join you, while the rest of them waited in the conference room and watched through the glass panes. However, before Aaron can ask you what's going on, the officer you'd spoken with is leading a man back in while holding a camera. Aaron appraises the man who is quite obviously one of the photographers from outside. He appears to be a run-of-the-mill paparazzi type and Aaron can see the Page Six credentials dangling on a lanyard around his neck.

"Y/N L/N, it's really you!"

"Hi Terry," you reply, kissing both of his cheeks.

"You summoned me?" he asks, an exasperated lilt in his tone, indicating to the officer dangling his camera by its strap.

" Some psychopath is running around the city setting fires. I can't do my job if there's going to be photographers hounding me the second I step outside. Help me out."

"The people are curious, Y/N. Mysterious enigma party girl turned federal agent. The public wants to know!"

Terry was a reasonable guy, you know you can reach some sort of compromise with him. You have before. He's the reason you were able to travel to New York back and forth undetected for the time you were in your training.

"Help me out here, Terry," you ask again.

"Well," he starts, and you can detect the scheming tone in his voice, "there is this club opening on Friday. I suppose I could get everyone to back off if you were guaranteed to make an appearance."

You know he'll be getting some sort of kick back from the club for securing you. You glance at Aaron from the side of your eye, wondering what he's thinking of all of this. You know you have to agree otherwise there's no way you or the team can get in and out of the precinct easily. It's a small price to pay in order to be able to do your job in peace.

You nod, agreeing to Terry's request. "You'll handle everything," you tell him.

"Of course," he agrees, throwing you his most dazzling smile. "I'll need a little something exclusive, but I'll make it work. Bring your friends too," he says, eyeing Aaron and Derek. "We could use some more yummy specimens in the background shots."

You let out a small laugh at that, seeing both Derek and Aaron look the slightest bit flustered. Terry takes his leave with a flirty wave. You turn to Derek who is looking at you in equal parts confusion and amusement. "Tell Penelope. We're going clubbing Friday." You know she won't want to miss this.

Finally, you turn to Aaron, apprehensive of his reaction. Aaron hadn't been around this sort of life before - the deals with paparazzi, being hounded and tracked - it had taken a lot for you to escape it before.

Aaron, for his part, knew that it took a lot out of you to agree to that deal and that you only did it for the team and the case. He didn't have to know how it was for you back then, in order to know that this wasn't you anymore. You were fiercely private with your life now, and having it exposed in this way had to be difficult. On your face, he can see the insecurity at having this part of your old life at play again. Sensing that you need a moment, he turns and sees Detective Lewis exiting his office and he asks to borrow it for a minute.

"Come on," he says, leading you inside and closing the door behind you. "Are you alright?"

You turn to him, glad to be away from everyone's prying eyes. Taking a deep breath, you start to explain to him that you're sorry that this happened but you're certain it was the easiest option, but he cuts you off.

"I didn't ask for an explanation. I asked if you're alright."

You look at him and note that he doesn't seem upset with you. Concerned and worried, yes. But not upset. That's somewhat of a relief. You nod, but can't resist walking up to him and burying your face into his chest. "I just thought this part of my life was over. I should've known better."

Aaron wraps his arms around you, resting his chin at the top of your head. "You don't have to do the club thing. We can figure out something else."

"No," you mumble. "This is easiest. It'll be more work figuring out something else."

He looks down at you as you're leaned against him, letting him support you. He knows that the team could figure out alternatives. Start leaving from the back door, having you stay behind, any number of things. But he knows you'd hate them all having to do workarounds the rest of the case simply because of your presence, which is the only reason he concedes. "Okay, if you're sure."

You nod, going up on you toes and pressing a light kiss to his lips. "Thank you for not freaking out."

He looks at you curiously. Sometimes you said things like this - thanking him for not overreacting to something or being surprised when he simply doesn't care about you flirting with other men.  He wagers Matthew had been like that - jealous and reactionary. Which was not to say that Aaron didn't get jealous. He knew the way most men behaved around you. You had an easy, effervescent quality that people gravitated towards. However, he knew where he stood with you and you weren't the kind of person who would ever betray him. There was no reason for him to get worked up about other men. Even this situation, he didn't understand why you were thanking him. It wasn't your fault.

"Nothing to freak out about," he tells you, his voice calm and reassuring.

The two of you stay like that for another moment before leaving to join the rest of the team.

*------------*

JJ and you are reviewing the victimology one more time, to make sure nothing was missed. You're restless because the team has been in New York for three whole days already and it doesn't feel like you're any closer to an answer. The profile exists but it doesn't point to anyone specific. In a city like New York, there really was no shortage of crazy people.

Your eyes are starting to glaze over as you read through the statements from the family members, your fingers toying absentmindedly with the pendant on your necklace. It had been a gift from Jack and Aaron on your birthday. A small vintage gold pendant with an emerald on a gold chain - unobtrusive and very much your style. You only took it off when you absolutely had to.

With a frustrated sigh, you look up to see JJ equally done with the files in front of her. She looks far away, one hand fidgeting with a lock of hair and the other resting on her still flat stomach. You'd been watching JJ ever since you found out she was pregnant. Some natural impulse to make sure she was alright and comfortable. You knew she'd hate the extra attention, so you tried to be discreet about it, but you couldn't help yourself. She'd seemed off ever since she'd told everyone that she was pregnant and you had this odd feeling that maybe it wasn't exactly what she wanted.

Glancing around to make sure no one else was in earshot, you whisper, "Hey Jayje."

JJ looks up at you as if drawn from deep thought. It definitely hadn't been about the case.

"Are you okay?" you ask. "You know, with everything?" You indicate towards her hand on her stomach.

She appears thrown by the question and you know she hadn't thought anyone could tell that something was wrong. Sighing, you watch as she shifts to sit up straighter and leans towards you more. "I'm supposed to be happy, right?"

"You're not supposed to be anything. Whatever you are is what you're supposed to be," you tell her, standing to move to the chair right next to her.

"I grew up in a small town. You're supposed to get married, pop out a few kids, make your home for your husband. Here I am, already in my late thirties, with only one kid, a husband who I've made into essentially a stay at home father, while I jet off and play hero." The conflict of subverting the expectations she's been told to adhere to is evident in her voice.

You know very well how difficult it is to go against what is expected of you. You nod, knowing she has more she wants to get out.

Prompted by you, she continues, "Another kid, when I'm already barely there for my first - while I feel like I'm falling behind at work because now I'll have to be off again, while I'll have another child that'll add to the stress and chaos of our lives - I don't know. It just feels - I'm not sure how I feel."

You sigh, reaching out and grabbing her hand. She squeezes yours tightly and you can feel the slight tremor she's battling as she spoke.

"Do you want another child?" you ask softly, looking into her eyes.

She closes her eyes for a moment, giving herself time to think over your question. "Yes, I do."

"Okay."

"But I'm an agent too - I like my job, I want to keep doing it and doing it well and I worry that this will make it harder."

You understand where she's coming from. It's hard to feel like you're enough - both at work and at home. You've hardly been there for Jack or Aaron lately since you've been away so much and the balancing act is extremely precarious. You want to move ahead and do well at your job. But you also want to be a good partner to Aaron - be there to support him and be there for Jack as well. There were days you sat in Paris and all you could think was that your relationship would simply slip out of your hands because you weren't around enough. That Jack would forget what you looked like and not want you around because you were so absent. It was a dark sort of mindset to be in and it only went away when you were back with them both and obviously they wanted you around and of course Jack hadn't forgotten you.

"You know we'll all help you in any way we can," you tell her, hoping to be somewhat reassuring. "If you're worried about anyone thinking any less of you for being a mom too - that's entirely untrue. I know I'm not a parent, but I know that being one and doing the job we do is probably the hardest thing in the world." She nods as you speak, so you continue, "And as far as people's expectations go - being submissive and giving in to what people expect of us isn't natural. If it was, they wouldn't need all the indoctrination around women being obedient to their husbands. Nature doesn't need reminders," you tell her, gripping her hands tightly. "Do what comes naturally to you. The rest will fall into place."

JJ lets out a small laugh and swipes at her eyes. A couple of stray tears had made their way out into the open. "You're good at this, you know."

"At what?"

"I don't know what kind of understanding you and Hotch have about Jack, but you're a mom, Y/N. Kids, they don't know the difference between biological parents and otherwise. All they care about is who they want to hold them when they're upset and the way Jack treats you is no different from the way Henry treats me."

Aaron can say whatever he wants about you and Jack, but hearing it from JJ means more. You sniffle back your own tears, and your voice catches ever so slightly. "Thanks JJ."

*------------*

In the past few days, you'd gotten a lot more comfortable with having everyone in your old city. The days were spent in the precinct and around town, running down leads. The nights were spent back in your living room, ordering takeout and discussing the case and next steps.

The third night, you and Aaron were the last ones still awake, when you decided to take him somewhere. Leading him out to the balcony attached to your bedroom, you show him to the roof of the building. It's where you used to end up whenever you hosted parties at the apartment, for a respite from all the people and noise.

It's hard to see stars in the city - the lights are too bright. So Aaron wrapped himself around you to keep you warm and the two of you stood on the rooftop and watched the city lights instead. "You know, you're the first guy to have spent the night with me here," you tell him, one hand playing with the pendant around your neck.

He was a little surprised at that. He knew you'd been involved with someone while in New York, though he'd never pursued the topic. Something told him - especially with how little you liked talking about your life before the FBI - that you didn't particularly want to talk about that relationship. If that's what it was. You'd only ever called that man a friend, but Aaron knew better than to think that to be the case. He knew you'd been involved for at least some of your time in New York and then the two years of training. He wasn't sure when it had ended exactly, but he'd known you were dating other people your first year with the team, from conversations he'd overheard between you and the girls. Regardless, you didn't really do casual and he knew that whoever that person had been, had to be someone you at least trusted greatly. Especially for him to have come after Matthew.

"I plan on being the last too," he responded, bending down to kiss you.

And in the chilly night air, wrapped up in the warm arms of Aaron Hotchner, with the lights of your favorite city twinkling around you, you believed him. You completely believed him.

*------------*

The team was four days into the case and had finally made a breakthrough. Hotch was coordinating everything from the precinct along with Detective Lewis, and the rest of the team had split up and scattered around the city to the potential new sites that Penelope had identified as the next targets.

You and Emily are paired together, parked outside the building for any sign of movement. You needed to catch this guy in the act, otherwise you didn't have much physical evidence to go on yet to tie him to the crimes.

You're both on high alert, listening to the comms units in your ears for any updates. As you look at the building you're staking out, you catch some movement in the upstairs window. It should be abandoned, so you instantly draw Emily's attention to it. Right as she turns, the upstairs window is blown out and you see flames.

"Hotch, we got fire at our location," she relays pressing on the button to communicate back to him, as the two of you quickly get out of the car and head towards the building. With any luck, the unsub will be inside still and the victim would be alive.

"If there's already fire, you should wait for backup and the fire department," you hear Aaron's voice instructing the two of you.

You and Emily look at one another as the fire appears to quickly accelerate. You both know you don't have that long to save the victim. You shake your head at her, and shift your eyes towards the building, indicating that you have to go in.

"We don't have time, Hotch. We're going in."

The two of you run towards the building and Emily swiftly kicks down the door, a cloud of smoke escaping as she does. The two of you ignore Hotch's instructions to stand down and wait. He wasn't there. He couldn't see how quickly it was spreading.

"Y/N, be careful," he says finally, after neither you nor Emily respond to his pleas to wait.

"Always am," you respond, as both you and Emily, guns drawn, walk through the bottom part of the building. It was a two story apartment complex in Uptown, built in the 1950s. The fire appeared to be isolated upstairs for the time being as the two of you quickly cleared the bottom portion and then you followed Emily upstairs.

You take turns clearing rooms down one hallway until you come to the final one. The doorknob is hot to the touch. Emily knocks down this door as well and the two of you walk inside a large room to see flames spread across curtains and a bound up girl in one corner, inching away as much as she could towards the door to escape the fire.

Emily manages to ungag and unbound her while you try to usher them both out the room. "He went down the other hallway, there's another set of stairs," the girl says as soon as she's able to speak. Emily is half supporting her weight and the growing smoke is getting to you all. There are more fires set down the other hallway.

"Go, get her out," you tell Emily, moving down towards the other hallway that the girl had indicated.

"Y/N, no, we need to get out," she says, starting to walk down the stairs.

"We only catch this guy in the act, Em. Go!"

Ignoring her, you race down the other hallway, trusting her to get the girl out first. The smoke is getting thicker and it's getting harder to breathe as you go through the other rooms, finally finding a second set of stairs leading to the back of the house that you'd already checked out earlier. You can feel your breathing getting harsher as the smoke infiltrates your lungs and you're starting to cough.

You quickly clear the staircase and race downstairs, opening the door into the kitchen. Your vision is already hazy from the thick cloud of smoke and you know your coughing is alerting anyone in the vicinity to your presence. Right before you're able to turn and check behind the door, you feel the barrel of a gun pointed to the back of your head. Crap.

"Fire is dangerous. You never know when it might burn you." The horrid, raspy voice of the man who is undoubtedly the unsub makes your stomach clench.

However, before you can do anything, you hear a gunshot. For a second you think it was him. You think he'd shot you. But then you hear a loud thud as he falls behind you and you turn to see Emily with her weapon drawn, fingers clenched on the trigger. She'd come back for you.

Emily reaches out and grabs your hand as the two of you quickly make your way towards the exit. The flames have spread downstairs and you're forced to maneuver around the edge of the main room, the flames nearly licking at you and the entire building feels like a furnace. The two of you move quickly, knowing that it can get worse any second. You both exit onto the courtyard and you feel like you're home clear. You can see blue police lights across the street and the fire truck has arrived as well. It's loud and chaotic but you're free and clear.

You walk quickly, trying to make it out of the courtyard and into the street, when the rest of the windows also give out, exploding behind you. The two of you move to escape the glass shards but you won't be fast enough. You both drop to the ground and you find yourself on top of her, shards of glass raining around you. You move your arm to cover your face, your body shielding most of Emily's.

"Are you okay?" she asks as the tremors from the explosion leave the air. You're still on top of her and neither one of you seems capable of movement quite yet. The smoke had really done on a number on you.

"Are you?" you manage.

"Yeah, think you took the brunt of it."

"Good," you manage out, breathing heavily. "Because you only get one funeral, and you already used yours up."

She knows you're trying to make light of it, but for a moment you'd both thought you were done for. Twice for you, as you'd also had a gun to your head in the last ten minutes.

You roll off of her and she helps you stand up, the two of you looking one another over for injuries. She seems alright besides a scrape or two but you'd felt some glass earlier and you're not sure how bad it is.

"That's going to need to get extracted," Emily says, pointing to your arm and leading you to an ambulance with a medic.

As you settle onto the foot of the ambulance and the EMT runs to get supplies, you see more cars pull up.

"Hotch is gonna kill me," she mutters, as the EMT returns and makes a cut in the sleeve of your shirt to open it up and get the glass shards out with a pair of tweezers. You wince as he begins to take the glass out. It hadn't hurt too much so far, but your adrenaline was also starting to crash and you knew it would hurt more than a light sting pretty soon.

You both see Aaron racing towards you, walking past the officers trying to get his attention. Seeing him approach, Emily nods at him and goes to give a statement of what happened to the uniformed officers.

Aaron could barely stomach the anxiety that had entered him from the second you and Prentiss had entered the building. He'd left the precinct immediately, leaving Detective Lewis to coordinate. As he'd driven up, he'd seen the windows explode and his entire body frozen up, heart in his stomach, and he felt clammy all over. He didn't know if you'd made it out yet.

He abandoned the car as soon as he was able and had to race through a dozen people trying to get his attention as he looked around for you. When he finally caught sight of you sitting at the foot of the ambulance, it was like he could finally breathe again. The air was smoke filled and his lungs burned as he took in a breath, watching you for a second. Prentiss towered over you and you sat by her, looking entirely small and vulnerable, cradling your arm.

You reached out for him the second you saw him and he grasped your hand in his, bringing your fingers to his lips to confirm what his eyes were telling him. You were alive.

He looks entirely frazzled in a way you've never seen him before. Panic, fear, a thousand emotions running across his face as he takes in the sight of you sitting next to the medic as he picks out glass from your skin. His hand clutches yours tightly and you feel awful for putting him through this. You try your best not to wince as the guy continues to pull glass out, knowing that would just compound Aaron's worry.

You pull on the hand he's holding you by, drawing him closer to sit where Emily had been a few moments ago. "I'm alright," you tell him, moving your hand to cup his face. He closes his eyes instinctively at your touch, just for a second.

He nods disbelievingly and you know he can't afford to be like this over one of his agents getting just the slightest bit injured. Derek had been shot and he'd still commanded a room. Emily was tortured and Aaron hadn't blinked, his steely gaze concentrated on bringing down the unsub. You know that you getting hurt is different. You're far too aware of how different it is. In his mind he's got to be going over the trauma of losing Haley all over again, and this is nothing remotely close to that, but you know that fear is ever present in his mind.

You draw him in and kiss his lips ever so lightly, ignoring the stabbing pain in your arm. "Go," you instruct him softly. "Go be Unit Chief. I'm fine."

He looks over at the medic again as the man pulls a large piece of glass out, and his face scrunches up in anguish at the obvious pain you must be in. He knows you're putting on a brave face right now but he's also seen you cry when you stub your toe so he knows this hurts more than you're letting him see.

He looks back to where a crowd of people are waiting for his instructions. You squeeze his hand again, assuring him that you're alright. He nods and stands up, reluctantly letting go of your hand.

"Hey," you call out to him, "Send Emily, would you?"

He turns and nods, walking over to Prentiss and instructing her to go with you in case you need to go to the hospital as well.

Once Emily arrives, you clench her hand tightly as the medic removes the final large piece. "Son of a bitch," you mumble, as she lets you tuck yourself into the crook of her neck.

Emily looks off into the crowd as Hotch figures out the next steps and coordinates extracting the unsub's body with the fire department. He'd looked scared to death when he'd seen you, and had only looked moderately better when he'd come to tell her to go with you to the hospital.

The medic tells you you're going to need stiches and you're simply grateful he hadn't said that while Aaron had been around to hear it. Emily escorts you to the hospital and holds your hand throughout, as you moan and groan about the pain finally since its just her.

*------------*

The team is settled into your living room later that night. You're all going to go clubbing tomorrow night, per your promise to Terry. Aaron had tried to tell you that you were no longer obligated to go after an injury, but you didn't want to back out of your promise and risk burning bridges. You never knew when someone would come in handy.

Penelope would be arriving tomorrow with outfits for JJ and Emily. You still had most of your party wardrobe in New York, conveniently enough. There hadn't been much need for clubbing attire the past few years.

You'd all eaten and Spencer and Derek had cleared up. Aaron and Rossi were settled into the armchairs and the rest of you were spread out across the room on the large couch. Spencer was gently playing the piano to a tune that you recognized but couldn't quite place.

You got up to get the pain killers the doctor had prescribed you and took them in the kitchen, before returning. As you walk by Aaron's chair, he reaches out and grabs your hand. You look at him in question, but he silently pulls you towards him, maneuvering you onto his lap. You're surprised, because the two of you might quickly peck in front of the team, but rarely do you outright show affection in this manner. However, you allow him to place you on top of him and he's careful to avoid touching the stitches as he makes sure you're comfortable.

You look back at the team but they all seem unbothered and absorbed in their separate conversations, so you tuck your face into the crook of his neck. "I'm fine," you whisper so only he can hear.

Aaron shifts his eyes to look at you and nods almost imperceptibly.

You're kind of glad he'd pulled you onto his lap, because you'd had this growing anxiety within you ever since you'd come back from the hospital. You knew Aaron couldn't handle someone he loved dying. You knew that. And yet today he'd been forced to confront the possibility of something happening to you. You knew that you could promise you'd be fine and that nothing would happen to you until you're blue in the face, but he'd never believe you. You can't promise that. You can't know that.

That crazy, anxious part of you had convinced itself that he would do anything possible to mitigate the possible hurt he would feel if something happened and you're almost waiting for the possibility of him pushing you away. But he'd promised he wouldn't do that to you ever, and it would appear he's good at keeping his promises too.

You allow yourself to become limp against him, the drowsiness from the pills and the exhaustion from the day catching up to you. His arm is wrapped around your waist, holding you securely against him. Aaron returns to his conversation with Dave and it's not long before you're asleep.

As its getting late, Aaron tucks an arm under your knees and stands, lifting you with him, careful not to wake you. You look entirely fragile in his arms and the team watches as he says good night to them all and carries you to your bedroom. They all watch as he goes, knowing one thing between them - if today was anything to go by, nothing could ever happen to you. Because if someone ever happened to you, Aaron Hotchner would not simply break. He would shatter. And there would not be a single thing any of them could do to piece him back together again.

[remuswriting]

A SIGHT FOR SORE EYES; YAMAGUCHI TADASHI

Y/N craves for the normalcy he never actually had. It affects everything he touches.

TAGS: Angst, Miscommunication, Unrequited Love; Male! Reader

WORD COUNT: 6,093 words

NOTES: This is not the original from 2020, which is because the formatting got all fucked up. So this is the rewrite that is better than the original tbh.

“Fuck, it’s cold today,” Y/N said, and he rubbed his arms through his uniform jacket.  It was May, and the heat was rising outside, but he always complained about how cold it was inside.

“Are you always cold?” Tsukishima asked, and Y/N rolled his eyes at him.  Even though there was some form of friendship between them, Tsukishima pissed him off at times. “Bring your hoodie to school at least.”

“You can borrow my volleyball jacket, L/N,” Yamaguchi said, which prevented Y/N from snapping at Tsukishima.  Yamaguchi quickly got his team jacket out of his bag and handed it over to Y/N with a soft smile.

The jacket was warm without Yamaguchi even needing to wear it, and it made Y/N wonder if it was just that warm in Yamaguchi’s bag.  Y/N quickly stripped off his uniform jacket to put on the new jacket, which instantly encased him in warmth.  Part of it was the warmth from the jacket itself and the other part was from the warmth of his heart as he thought about how he was wearing Yamaguchi’s jacket.

“Thank you so much, Yamaguchi,” Y/N said, and his face grew hot at the thought that boyfriends share jackets like this.  They weren’t boyfriends though.

“It looks better on you than it does me,” Yamaguchi said, and Y/N’s face only grew hotter at the comment.  Tsukishima looked between them with an unimpressed expression, and Y/N wondered if it was because he knew Y/N had a crush on Yamaguchi.

“Won’t it get too hot when you put your uniform jacket over it?” Tsukishima asked as he raised an eyebrow. “Can you even get your uniform jacket on while wearing that one?”

“I can always just give it back to Yamaguchi, but I don’t think it’ll be a problem,” Y/N said with a forced smile.  Sometimes he wondered if they were always fighting for Yamaguchi’s attention while Yamaguchi had no clue. “But I have been shivering all morning.”

Lunch went on and Yamaguchi kept looking over at Y/N, as if it were too painful to look away.  When Y/N went to take off the borrowed jacket, Yamaguchi grabbed his hand to make him stop.

“You don’t have to give it back just yet,” Yamaguchi quickly said, and he let go of Y/N’s hand. “You said you were cold, so just bring it by practice when you’re heading home.”

Y/N tried to read Yamaguchi’s gentle eyes, but he gave up and simply smiled as he nodded.  Y/N pulled his uniform jacket over it and felt like he could actually make it through the day without freezing.  He said his goodbyes to Tsukishima and Yamaguchi before he went to his class.

It was nice wearing Yamaguchi’s jacket, because it made him feel as if he were being hugged so tightly to where Y/N could just breathe him in.  He knew it was weird to feel like that, but the smell of cologne, sweat, and something else he could only define as smelling like volleyball overwhelmed him slightly.

Wearing the jacket made Y/N feel special, because Yamaguchi wouldn’t let anyone wear his jacket.  He always made the excuses of how he didn’t want anyone to lose it or get it dirty, so Y/N being able to wear it made him feel almost as if they were boyfriends.  People could see them and think they were together, but they weren’t together.  Y/N was too scared to say anything to his straight best friend.

****

Y/N was released from the anime club later than normal, but he felt like it was fairly worth it.  Another first year had decided to ask the president if Sword Art Online actually deserved to have a second season, only for a third year to then asked if Sword Art Online actually deserved to be created.  Sure, it wasn’t an anime Y/N was interested in, but the fight had been hilarious.  He wasn’t exactly sure how he was supposed to look his upperclassmen in the eyes and not laugh at how angry they had gotten from the debate.

Now the challenge Y/N faced was figuring out which gym was the volleyball gym.  He had been to it once, but he couldn’t actually remember where exactly it was.  He wanted to use the excuse that he was in the anime club and not a sports club for a reason, so he shouldn’t have to know what gym was at.  He also knew it wasn’t a sturdy excuse.

“One touch!” Tanaka yelled, and Y/N followed the sound of squeaking shoes and screaming voices.  It sounded like members from the volleyball team, but he wasn’t certain.

When he finally arrived at the gym, he looked amazed at what he was seeing.  He had never seen a volleyball match before, and now he wished he had.  Everyone looked so alive as they played, even those who weren’t on the court.  He remembered being dragged by Yamaguchi to meet the team, because apparently Y/N needed to meet those who would be taking up the majority of Yamaguchi’s time.

Y/N waited until they were taking a break to enter the gym.  He could hear the echo better in the gym compared to when he had been outside.  Somehow, Hinata was the first to him and looked ecstatic, even though they had never spoken before.

“L/N-san!  What are you doing here?” Hinata called out from across the gym, and everyone turned their attention to Y/N.  Y/N’s face immediately felt hot from embarrassment, and he looked down at the court before he made eye contact with Yamaguchi, who stared at him as if he didn’t think Y/N was going to show up.

“Yamaguchi, I brought your jacket back,” Y/N said, and he walked over to Yamaguchi quickly as he pulled the neatly folded jacket out of his bag. “Sorry I’m late.  My club ran a little late.”

Yamaguchi stared at the jacket as if it hurt him to see it.  Y/N furrowed his eyebrows at the sight, and he was confused, because Yamaguchi had told him to bring it on his way home.  Had he done something wrong?

“Oh, thank you,” Yamaguchi said slowly, and he took the jacket from Y/N as he studied Y/N’s face. “Are you sure you won’t get cold on the way home?  You can give it to me tomorrow if you want.”

“It’s pretty warm outside right now, but if I wore it every time I got cold, then you’d never get it back,” Y/N said, and he chuckled slightly while Yamaguchi looked at the ground with blush covering his cheeks. 

Tanaka threw an arm around Y/N’s shoulder, which caused Y/N to lose some balance and what he was going to say.  Yamaguchi’s eyes went from hurt to annoyed, but it was aimed at Tanaka.

“You’re always welcome to wear my jacket, L/N-san,” Tanaka flirted, and Y/N’s cheeks burned at the words.  Maybe Tanaka was just teasing him, but either way; no one had ever said that to him before, especially not in public.

“I-I wouldn’t, I wouldn’t, uh,” Y/N stuttered out, and his attention was focused on the ground as he continued to burn with embarrassment. “I wouldn’t want to take your jacket away from you.”

“He doesn’t need your jacket, Tanaka-senpai, because he’ll just wear mine,” Yamaguchi interjected, and Y/N’s eyes widened at the tone of Yamaguchi’s voice; aggressive and strict.  In a way it felt like he was telling everyone that Y/N was off limits.

The black jacket was forcefully shoved back into Y/N’s hands and Tanaka’s arm left his shoulders.  Tsukishima rolled his eyes and made sure Y/N saw it.  Who was he annoyed with; Y/N or Tanaka?

“Oh, thank you, Yamaguchi.” Y/N folded the jacket over his arm.  Tanaka had disappeared, but Y/N hadn’t noticed. “I’ll return it to you tomorrow.  I’ll try to remember my hoodie in the morning.”

Everyone stared at them, and Y/N felt anxiety build up in his chest because of it.  He looked back at Yamaguchi, who had a content look on his face, and smiled gently.

“Sorry for disrupting your practice,” Y/N said to the couch as he bowed and left.

****

Things were normal between Yamaguchi, Tsukishima, and Y/N.  Y/N borrowed Yamaguchi’s jacket more and more during classes, but he ended up borrowing Tsukishima’s jacket as well when Yamaguchi wasn’t there.  Things were normal and perfect.

Then the team got a new manager; Yachi Hitoka.

She was in Y/N’s class, and he had made note that she was extremely adorable and extremely anxious before all of this happened.  Yachi was one of the more interesting people to watch when people watching.  Without asking Tsukishima or Yamaguchi, he assumed Yachi had probably met Kiyoko and hadn’t been able to say no to her.

There hadn’t been a problem with Yachi, even when she joined the team as a manager, but the problem started when she came into class wearing what Y/N knew was Yamaguchi’s team jacket.  If he hadn't asked Yamaguchi to borrow his jacket during lunch to be told he didn’t have it on him, then he wouldn’t have figured it out.

It was ridiculous for him to not like Yachi because of this, because he had worn Yamaguchi’s jacket countless times.  This felt different though, and Y/N didn’t like it.

Lunch stopped being just the three of them, but now Yachi was included.  If Yamaguchi didn’t stare at her as if she had hung the stars in the sky, then it wouldn’t have become Y/N’s least favorite part of the day.  The looks he shared with Tsukishima led him to believe that Tsukishima was always disgusted with it.

He wondered if the crush would go away, but he wasn’t sure if he meant his, Yamaguchi’s, or Yachi’s.  None of them went away, and it pissed him off to think that no one could get rid of these feelings.  So, Y/N decided he’d just take it into his own hands and try to get rid of these feelings himself.

He stopped eating lunch with them every day by coming up with excuses of homework or a club member wanting to eat with him.  It wasn’t like he had stopped eating with them all together, but there were days he just couldn’t do it.  He couldn’t watch someone he loves be in love with someone else.

He ran into Tsukishima on one of those days.

“Where are you going?” Tsukishima asked, and he was staring downat the lunch Y/N had in his hands.

“The roof.  Want to join?” Y/N asked, and Tsukishima slowly nodded as he turned to walk with him. “Are you not going to go get your lunch?”

“It’s not like I was going to eat it anyways,” Tsukishima said, and Y/N understood what he meant.  Neither of them liked Yachi and Yamaguchi together, but it hadn’t been said aloud.  It was mainly communicated through glances they shared during lunch.

It felt weird not having Yamaguchi with them and them being alone.  Y/N wasn’t sure if he and Tsukishima had ever been alone with each other before.  A comfortable silence settled around them as they walked to the roof, and it felt like things were still normal, even if they definitely weren’t.

“The weather is really nice today,” Y/N said as he found a place to sit down, and he looked at Tsukishima with an amused look. “You know, I was supposed to eat with Aito-san today, but I imagine he’ll live.”

“Isn’t he from your club?” Tsukishima asked, and Y/N nodded as he got out his lunch. “So, you’re both nerds.”

Y/N laughed at the thought of Aito being a nerd.  Sure, Aito liked anime, but he liked it the least in the club and struggled with school way too much.  His grades were so shitty that Y/N sometimes had to tutor him during club.

“I only eat in complete silence with him,” Y/N said, and he took a bite of his food. “Some girl told me that he might have a crush on me, but I told her that I wasn’t really interested.”

“You’re not interested in him because he’s a nerd?” Tsukishima asked, and he sounded like he didn’t actually care and was just talking.  Y/N was used to him sounding like that though, because that was just Tsukishima. “Or because he’s not Yamaguchi.”

There it was.  The silent understanding they had was finally broken.

Y/N’s smile faltered.  He looked down at the food on his chopsticks before dropping it back into his bento.

“Why not both?” Y/N asked, and he was trying to joke, but his voice was hoarse.  He messed up his rice with his chopsticks and glared at the slight mess in his bento.  He could feel Tsukishima staring at him, and he didn’t want to look at him yet.

“It’s hard to watch them, isn’t it?” Tsukishima asked, and Y/N wanted to look up at him, but he refrained.  Instead he narrowed his eyes at his food and gritted his teeth.

“Of course it is.  It feels like he keeps stomping on my heart, and he doesn’t even know.”

“He doesn’t know,” Tsukishima said, and Y/N wanted to laugh.  Tsukishima was just repeating what he had just said. “It’s probably the best thing about all of this.”

That was true, and Y/N knew it.  If Yamaguchi knew that Y/N loved him, then he’d feel guilty.  There was no reason for him to feel guilty, because he couldn’t help it.  He couldn’t help that he didn’t love Y/N back.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” Y/N asked, and he continued to stir the food around in his bento box.  His appetite felt like it had completely disappeared. “I thought we were only supposed to tolerate each other for Yamaguchi’s sake.”

“I hated you when we first met, but that was because I wanted him all to myself,” Tsukishima said, and he looked up at the sky. “But he wanted you.”

Realization washed over Y/N’s face, and he looked up at Tsukishima. “You’re in love with him too.”

“I was in love with him,” Tsukishima said, and the words were quick. “Past tense.”

Y/N’s eyes scanned him up and down before his eyes widened. “Wait, he was in love with me?”

“I don’t really know if he was ever in love with you, but he talked about you all the time.  It always killed me when he did, but it doesn’t anymore, and that’s how I know I’ve moved on,” Tsukishima said, and Y/N stared at him.

He stared at Tsukishima as if he were trying to crawl into his mind, and maybe he was.  It was obvious that Tsukishima didn’t like the attention he was getting.  Tsukishima had never minded getting attention before, or that Y/N was aware of, but Tsukishima seemed bothered with all attention being focused on him.  It was silent as Y/N studied him before he let out a sigh.

“You only feel bad for me because you know how I feel,” Y/N said, and Tsukishima looked at his hands.

“I feel bad for you because we’re friends,” Tsukishima said, and Y/N hadn’t realized they were that close.  He was still calling Tsukishima ‘annoying guy’ to his mom. “I’ve dealt with you this long, so I think we’re friends.”

“I guess I’ll be friends with you.”

Tsukishima shoved Y/N’s shoulder lightly, which caused him to start laughing.  Y/N wanted to look at Tsukishima and ask if they could create a new normal, a normal where it was what it was like before Yachi, but they were closer.  All Y/N wanted for there to be a form of normal that didn’t make him feel like shit.

Silence surrounded them again and Y/N started to eat his lunch.  His appetite was back, but he felt like he couldn’t breathe because of the silence.  It was better than seeing Yamaguchi and Yachi together though.

“Everything fucking sucks,” Y/N blurted, and he just couldn’t take silence any longer. “It fucking sucks that I feel so alone in this.”

“This is going to sound pathetic, but at least we’ve got each other,” Tsukishima said, and Y/N choked on his food when he chuckled.

“You’re right.  That did sound pathetic.” Y/N grabbed Tsukishima’s face, which was looking up at the sky, and made Tsukishima look at him. “You’re stuck with me if we’ve got each other.”

Tsukishima pulled out of Y/N’s hold, blush covered his cheeks, and rolled his eyes.  He was embarrassed and Y/N knew that.  A moment later, Tsukishima looked annoyed once again.

“Fuck, this means I’m stuck with you,” Tsukishima complained with an exaggerated groan, and Y/N punched his shoulder. “You’re such a bitch.”

“And you’re such a dick,” Y/N said, and he rolled his eyes as he chuckled.

Perhaps this could be the new normal he needed.

****

It was a Tuesday when Yachi stopped Y/N on his way out of class.  This was the first time they had ever been alone with each other, and he hoped it would be the only time as well.  She looked more nervous than usual.  He didn’t know what any of this was about, but he didn’t have a good feeling about it.

“L/N-san, can I talk to you?” Yachi asked, and he slowly nodded as he moved over to let everyone else leave the classroom.  The teacher even left the room after telling them to hurry it up.

“What’s up?” Y/N asked, and Yachi stared at the floor with her hands tightly clasped at the bottom of her shirt.

“I was wondering if you liked me or not,” she said softly, and his expression morphed into shock as he blinked several times. “Tadashi and Tsukishima said that you just don’t talk to people like you talk to them.”

That was a lie and the truth at the same time.

It took time for Y/N to warm up with people, but that didn’t mean he was exactly friendly with them.  Some members of the anime club got to see the version Yamaguchi and Tsukishima saw, but that was only because he was close to them.  There was also a big difference between how someone acts around their friends compared to how they act around their crush’s girlfriend.

He wasn’t good at making friends, no matter how he was supposed to act versus how he did act.  Y/N didn’t like Yachi, and he didn’t know if he was supposed to lie about that or not.  Tsukishima would tell him to lie, because there was no point in fueling fights that they wanted to avoid.

“Of course I like you,” Y/N said with a forced smile.  It hurt to smile and lie to her, because she really hadn’t done anything wrong.  She was clueless in what was going on around her, but he had to lie. “You’re special to Tadashi and make him happy, so of course I like you.”

Yachi looked so relieved that it nearly made Y/N laugh or maybe cry.  Typically, he did like those who were special to Yamaguchi, and he became good friends with them.  Part of him wanted to be friends with her, but he knew he couldn’t because she was an exception.  He didn’t like her, and there wasn’t much he could do about that.

Yachi’s face lit up with a smile, and it made him wish that he was telling her the truth. “Okay!  Sorry for bothering you!”

Y/N ruffled her hair and chuckled.  He was going to have to start acting like he liked her for the sake of the friend group, and he had no idea what he was going to do.  Would Tsukishima even care if chaos ensued?

“You didn’t bother me at all.”

Yachi hurried past him out of the classroom, and he felt himself wanting to fall to the floor.  Why had that been so draining?  He could basically picture her running to Yamaguchi with that huge smile and telling him that Y/N didn’t hate her.  Yamaguchi would be excited as well while Tsukishima would only be confused.

Tsukishima would be so confused but say how Y/N did what he needed to.  They needed to act like everything was fine and normal, but Y/N didn’t know how to do that.  He didn’t know how to act fine and normal when he was getting this emotional over simply talking to Yachi, but Tsukishima hadn’t told him to stop pretending yet, so he wouldn’t.

It was just that all Y/N wanted was for things to be normal and to stop hurting.  He knew he wasn’t going to get what he wanted though.

****

Y/N decided he needed to stop interacting with Yachi and Yamaguchi after he spoke with Yachi.  He knew it was ridiculous, especially because he knew he needed to be acting like everything was fine and nothing had changed, but it was too hard.  It was too hard to see Yamaguchi be in love with someone that wasn’t him.  Sometimes Tsukishima ate lunch with Y/N, but usually Y/N ate alone to avoid it looking suspicious.

Y/N thought it would hurt more to avoid Yamaguchi, but it was nice.  It hurt to see Yamaguchi, because all he thought was what he wanted but couldn’t have, so Y/N avoided his calls and texts as well as going the opposite direction whenever he saw Yamaguchi.  It was easier to avoid him than pretending like everything was fine.

Yamaguchi was mad, and Y/N only knew this because of Tsukishima.  It wasn’t surprising that he was mad, and Y/N didn’t even blame him, but he and Tsukishima agreed it was better for Y/N just to act like he was unaware that Yamaguchi was upset.  It was all they could think of that avoided conflict, and Y/N liked that he didn’t have to see Yamaguchi that way.

It was nice outside when he decided to eat on the rooftop.  Even though he had invited some of his friends from the club and knew some of the volleyball team overheard him ask Tsukishima to eat with him, he was alone.  He decided it had been a terrible idea to talk to Tsukishima in front of anyone, because how could he think that he could trust a group of teenage boys who considered themselves a family?

Yamaguchi opened the door to the rooftop and saw Y/N sitting there eating lunch.  Y/N saw him as well, but he didn't move.  This wasn’t the time to continue playing the go in the opposite direction card.

“Why have you been avoiding me?” Yamaguchi asked, and Y/N stared at him for a moment. “Answer me, L/N!”

What was he supposed to do?  Was there even a right thing to do?  Was there something that would make everything stop being as painful as it had been?

“I didn’t think I was avoiding you,” Y/N said, and he continued to stare at Yamaguchi with a blank expression.

“You know you’re avoiding me,” Yamaguchi stated, and his frustration was clearly heard in his voice. “Just tell me why.”

“Why should I?”

Yamaguchi looked at him in shock, as if Y/N had said something truly horrific.  Maybe it was because Y/N had been one to talk back to Yamaguchi like he always had with Tsukishima.  Maybe it really was shocking for him to do that.

“Because I deserve to know what I've done wrong,” Yamaguchi said, and there was a certain kind of look in his eyes.  The kind of look that Y/N had only ever seen Yamaguchi have while he played volleyball.

Y/N stared at him in silence, because he was so unsure on what to say now but didn’t want to look like he was unsure.  The silence was meant to help him think, but Yamaguchi’s thoughts seemed to be louder.  It was killing Y/N to see Yamaguchi so angry, distraught, and ready to face whatever he had done.

“Why do you think?” Y/N asked, and he stood up to really look at Yamaguchi. “I want you to think really hard and just guess on why I could possibly be avoiding you.”

“I don’t know!” Yamaguchi screamed, and he gripped his hair. “I’ve been trying to figure it out for two weeks, but I just can’t!”

Y/N walked towards Yamaguchi as anger filled him, because Yamaguchi would never realize how Y/N actually felt.  It made him sick to his stomach to realize this, and maybe that was why he felt so angry.  He didn’t want to feel like this anymore.

He pressed a finger into Yamaguchi’s chest as his jaw clenched.  He couldn’t say what he really wanted to because Tsukishima had been right about Yamaguchi not knowing and not needing to know, but Y/N was too emotional to think rationally.

“You are so fucking stupid,” Y/N snapped, and his hand fell back to his side.  He could feel the anger trying to dissipate, but not completely leaving. “Do you not know how much it hurts to love someone who will never love you back?”

Y/N wanted to cry.  He wasn’t sure if he had cried at all since all of this had happened.  He wondered if he’d finally cry if he confessed to Yamaguchi, even though Yamaguchi had Yachi.  If they were both single, then maybe this confession on the rooftop would’ve been romantic, but that wasn’t the case.  He thought for a second, and maybe he didn’t want to cry, but at this point it was inevitable.

“Yes,” Yamaguchi said softly, and his expression changed to match his voice.  He looked so hurt, and it felt like it was tearing apart Y/N’s heart. “It feels like you’re dying.”

Y/N turned away from Yamaguchi as he pulled at his hair.  What was he doing?  He and Tsukishima had agreed it would be better if this didn’t happen.  It would be better if Yamaguchi didn’t know about any of this, and Tsukishima was right.  Y/N let his face fall neutral again as he turned back to face Yamaguchi once more.

“Well, I’ve been dying for two years,” Y/N said, and he told himself not to cry right now.  He could cry later. “It’s always hurt, but it hurts now more than ever because you’re with her.”

Shock was written all over Yamaguchi’s face, and Y/N didn’t expect a response immediately or really at all.  He remembered when Yamaguchi used to say that no one could ever like him because of Tsukishima.  Everyone had always been focused on Tsukishima and used Yamaguchi as a way to get to him, while all Y/N had ever wanted was Yamaguchi.

“Did you know you gave me your jacket for the first time on May 13?” Y/N asked, and he looked away from Yamaguchi as he bit at his lip.  He needed to finally say it, but it was too hard.

His throat was dry and felt too scratchy to speak, but at the same time it felt like it was closing up.  His eyes burned with tears and he felt them want to trickle down his face, but he was trying to hold it off.  He needed to stay strong and get this out before his emotions took over.

“You told me that I looked better than you in it, and I felt so special.  I felt so special that I wanted to cry,” Y/N said, and he had a soft smile at the memory. “You never let anyone wear, but I was allowed to, and I knew it was stupid to be so excited about it.  I just couldn’t help it though.”

“You do look better in it,” Yamaguchi said, and his voice was soft.  Y/N looked at him and Yamaguchi was crying, but it wasn’t pathetic for him to do it like Y/N felt it would be if he were to. “Why didn’t you just talk to me, Y/N?”

“You think it’s that easy?” Y/N snapped, and he could feel the venom dripping from his own words.  Yamaguchi flinched as if he had been physically hit by it. “I wrote so many fucking letters to you, but I just couldn’t deliver it.  I’d see you and I just couldn’t do it.”

Yamaguchi’s expression resembled one of an injured animal, but Y/N knew it was worse than that.  He wished Yamaguchi only felt injured instead of destroyed.

“Why didn’t you?”

“You’re straight,” Y/N said, and he looked down at his shoes just so he didn’t have to look at Yamaguchi. “Also, no one wants to be with me.  I’m pretty sure no one has ever spared a second glance my way.”

This all hurt, and he hated feeling weak like this.  He should just be able to say it and get it over with, but that felt impossible.  He was still refusing to cry, and he just wanted to be strong right now.  Too bad that he was only weak.

“I looked at you,” Yamaguchi said, and Y/N’s head snapped up to look at him. “I constantly looked at you, but I never thought you’d look at me too.”

Suddenly Y/N had a fistful of Yamaguchi’s shirt collar and was face-to-face to a terrified Yamaguchi.  Y/N knew he should just let go, but he couldn’t.

“Is this just one big fucking joke to you?” Y/N screamed, and he grinded his teeth. “It’s not funny, because all you’re doing is fucking with my feelings!  Fuck you if that’s what you want!”

He let go of Yamaguchi and pushed him away.

“But now you want Yachi,” Y/N said, and he felt and sounded defeated, but he was still angry.  They could both feel and hear his anger. “You have Yachi.”

Y/N didn’t mean any harm by saying it, but he hoped that maybe everything would finally make sense if he did.  If it was finally confirmed that he had missed his chance with the one person he loved and wanted the most, then maybe things would just click.

“Yes.”

Yamaguchi didn’t mean any harm, and they both knew that.  He knew that Yamaguchi didn’t want to hurt him, but he had.  He had just managed to put him through the biggest heartbreak he’d ever feel.

“I tried to tell myself that your jacket was just shitty polyester when I saw her wearing it for the first time,” Y/N said softly, and then he let out an airy chuckle. “But then I saw how you looked at her as if she had put the stars in the sky–you looked at her like she was your everything–and I just knew it was more than that with her.”

“It was more than just polyester with you too,” Yamaguchi said, and he was frustrated.  It was so clear he was frustrated. “I wanted you to always wear it and then I could pretend we were together.  It was just that you started wearing Tsukishima’s jacket too, and I thought that maybe it didn’t mean anything to you.”

Y/N crouched down as he pulled at his hair, and he was surprised none of it was being torn out.  He had been so oblivious, and he was so pissed at himself for it.  He had a chance to be with Yamaguchi, and he had managed to miss it.

“I hate her!” Y/N screamed as he stood up, and he pointed at Yamaguchi. “I used to think about how she was just some cute, weird girl, but now I hate her.  All I want is for her to fucking die, and I hate that I think that!  I don't want to, but I just can’t help it!”

Yamaguchi took a step towards Y/N, which made Y/N take a step back.  He knew Yamaguchi wanted to comfort him, because Y/N had finally started crying.  It felt like he couldn’t stop crying, and he was choking on his tears now.  Y/N knew he was weak.

Yamaguchi looked at him so confused, and Y/N knew it was because Yachi had told him Y/N liked her.  Tsukishima had said she told Yamaguchi and him with so much excitement and Tsukishima hadn’t been able to hold back an eye roll.

“I used to wonder what would it feel like to kiss you?  I stopped when I realized you wouldn’t want to, and why would you?” Y/N asked, and he kept wiping his eyes with the sleeves of his shirt. “I’m not considered pretty in any standards, and even if I was, then I wouldn’t be half as pretty as her.  Maybe if I was pretty, then you really would’ve wanted me.”

“I did want you!” Yamaguchi screamed, and he threw his hands up. “Why don’t you understand that?”

“Stop joking,” Y/N said, and he stared at Yamaguchi head on.  The sleeves of his uniform were becoming soaking wet with tears.  He was speaking without thinking now, because his emotions were the only thing controlling him.

“I’m not joking!” Yamaguchi tried to take another step forward, and Y/N took two steps back. “Why won’t you listen to me?”

Y/N clenched his jaw and gritted his teeth, because maybe that would stop the crying.  He didn’t want to cry anymore. “Because who would want to be with me?”

Suddenly there was someone behind him and hands on his shoulders.  Yamaguchi’s frustrated expression morphed into one of anger and confusion, and Y/N was too tired to look behind him.  He didn’t care who was behind him, even if it was someone he didn’t know, because this conversation was finally over.

“Tadashi, I think it’s time for you to leave,” Tsukishima said, and it shocked Y/N that he was the one behind him.

“We’re having a conversation,” Yamaguchi stated, and this was the first time Y/N had seen him go against Tsukishima, even if it was small. “One that doesn’t involve you.”

“And I’m ending it.  You can talk to L/N later when he isn’t this upset,” Tsukishima stated.

Yamaguchi glared at Tsukishima before he huffed and stalked back inside.  Now, it was just Y/N and Tsukishima alone, and Tsukishima had an annoyed expression with worried eyes.  Y/N felt like it was all aimed at him, even though he knew it wasn’t.

“Why did you talk to him?” Tsukishima asked, and Y/N answered by sobbing.  He put his face in his hands and started to sob so hard he choked slightly on his tears.

Tsukishima pulled him for a hug, and Y/N’s cheek rested against his chest now.  The warmth brought Y/N something he didn’t realize he needed.  It helped him to be able to become grounded again.

“I’m such a fucking idiot,” he cried into Tsukishima’s chest. “Why did I do that?”

“You’re not an idiot,” Tsukishima reassured, but his voice remained like it always did.  For some reason, Y/N needed at least that to stay normal.  He needed Tsukishima to stay normal.

They pulled away from each other, and Tsukishima seemed to only study Y/N.  Y/N had never been a pretty crier, because snot always ended up covering part of his face and hands while his eyes became bloodshot and extremely puffy.  He felt disgusting and imagined he looked disgusting too.

“He said he used to want me,” Y/N said with a dry laugh before he sniffled. “It only adds to all of the pain.”

“I know it does,” Tsukishima said, and he looked like he really did know. “But we’re in this together, right?  We’ve got each other.”

Y/N gave him a small smile as he nodded.  He wiped away any of the remaining tears and he looked at Tsukishima sincerely. “Yeah, we do.”

[isolemnlyswearpevensie]

He Decided Purple Just Wasn’t For Him | Sirius Black x Reader

Warnings: HARD ANGST without a happy ending, death, mourning, drugs and drug abuse, dark themes

Time/Era: Marauders era

Word Count: 3.6k

Summary: After James and Lily die, Y/N watches Sirius fall into insanity. 

Request: Hey could you possibly write young!Sirius Black x reader imagine based on song Colours by Halsey? Thanks a lot xx

A/N: I’m sorry in advance. Sirius doesn’t go to Azkaban in this.

masterlist | read on ao3

Sirius was the most vibrant soul Y/N had ever met. Everything down to his smile was full of color. She absolutely adored him. Sirius could touch her arm or look in her direction, and her dark blue soul would turn into a light lilac.

 Y/N came from a family very similar to Sirius’; she was the heir of a very strict pureblood family, and she was expected to follow her family’s expectations. She had lived up to the expectations perfectly until she hit the ripe old age of eleven. She was sorted into Gryffindor alongside Sirius and suddenly the Noble House of L/N had no daughter. You are no daughter of mine. A howler was sent on the second day of school. The red envelope twisted into the hideous face of Y/N’s mother and filled the entire Great Haul with her shrewd voice. You are an embarrassment to the name L/N. I have never been more disappointed. Y/N felt her cheeks heat up and tears well up in her eyes. This was the most embarrassed she had ever been. That was until a young boy sitting down the table opened his howler. How despicable. I knew you were a problem child but I never thought you would betray your only family like this. The entire Slytherin table snickered at this. The woman’s voice was very similar to Y/n’s mother’s. It was thin and nasally but it spoke with a keen sharpness. When you return home don’t expect to be welcomed with open arms. The young boy looked over at Y/N with a matching sorrowful expression. 

When it came to leave the Great Hall, Sirius came over and spoke to Y/N. She was a good few inches taller than him at this point and he had to raise his head to look her in her eyes. “I’m sorry about that,” He spoke as he rocked back and forth on his heels. “What happened, I mean.” Y/N smiled with half of her mouth, making one of her cheeks puff. “Me too, but hey, at least we can get murdered together.” This made a small smile grace the boy’s face. For some reason, it made Y/N feel warm. 

Sirius’s hair covered his eyes and curled in perfect spirals over his forehead. And no matter how sad he was in the moment, he still had a brilliant sparkle in his eye. Y/N had heard a lot about the Black family as Sirius and Y/N’s parents were friends. She knew that they were one of the most regal families within the wizarding world. Y/N didn’t have the biggest expectations for meeting Sirius. 

Sirius had also heard a ton about Y/N’s family in passing; they were known for owning part of and sponsoring Gringotts bank. Her father was rumored to be in special talk with some of the goblins, thus making the family name worth millions. Sirius didn’t have the best first impression of Y/N, but seeing what happened in the Great Hall, his hopes of friendship rose. Finally, maybe someone would be able to understand some of the deep thoughts whirling inside his head. “I’m Sirius Black.”

“I’m Y/N L/N, nice to meet you.” ~ 

“Do you think he likes me?” Y/N asked Sirius one night during their fifth year. The boy had been picking feathers out of a pillow in the common room, but his fingers stopped immediately at the sound of his companion’s voice. 

Y/N couldn’t help but admire how he looked in this moment. It was 4 am on a Tuesday; the fire was mere ashes in the fireplace and the half-moon shone through the common room window. A moonbeam reflected across Sirius’ features and cast a deep shadow across the bridge of his nose. The low light defined the dark bun on the back of his head and the various fly away hairs that framed his face. He was effortlessly beautiful, even in his striped boxers and ratty Beatles t-shirt. Especially, even. 

Something about the picture in front of Y/N made her feel safe. Sirius sat upright with one leg lazily draped over the arm of the couch, pillow in his lap. Maybe the casual deminer of her best friend comforted her, or maybe it was the lack of school uniform. She didn’t know. Sirius’ head lifted and he made direct eye contact with his best friend. 

“Does who like you? The giant squid?” Y/N grew bashful and twisted in her chair a bit. 

“No, love, Moony.” Y/N’s cheeks dusted a light rose color, which was only intensified as Sirius remained silent. A deep hatred for Remus Lupin filled his stomach.

“No,” Sirius spat, throwing the pillow onto the cushion next to him. “He doesn’t.”

Y/N is taken aback by the sudden aggression towards her. She crosses her arms and sits back in the chair. “Why not? I mean, he keeps walking me to class, he gave me some candy, he-”

“No, he doesn’t. Honestly, Y/N/N, he’s just being friendly.”

“Are you sure?” Y/N’s face twisted in disappointment. “He hasn’t really done those things for any other girl.” “I know him better than you do, Y/N. Trust me.” Y/N couldn’t describe it, but her beautiful, colorful Sirius turned to gray at the moment. 

Remus and Y/N ended up dating for the majority of their 5th year. It was sickenly sweet; the two complimented each other perfectly. Remus loved her with all of his heart, and she loved his company.

 This was around the time Sirius started to distance himself from Y/N. She had no idea what she did wrong. One moment the two of them were staying up late in the common room just to talk, the next moment he wouldn’t even meet her eye. “It’s something at home, it’s not you,” Remus had assured her. That’s the thing, though. He would always tell her about his home life. 

Y/N began to feel empty without Sirius in her life. She would see him in the common room or hanging out with James, and her stomach would rise to her throat. After a while, this began to impact her relationship with Remus. It started off small, but soon escalated into large arguments. 

“Can you stop staring at him? You’re here with me,” Remus said one afternoon as they ate at The Three Broomsticks. They were out celebrating their seven-month anniversary and Sirius just happened to be on a date with a Ravenclaw girl. The two sat four booths away from Remus and Y/N, and they were in Y/N’s direct line of vision. The girl was chatting animately while Sirius pretended to listen. Y/N turned to look at her boyfriend. 

“I’m not staring at him, love, I’m just thinking.”

“Yeah, thinking about him. Come on, give me a break. It’s our anniversary.” 

“I am not thinking of him, Rem. I’m just daydreaming.” Remus pressed his back into the booth and covered his face with one of his large hands. Y/N loved his hands, but they were poor in comparison to Sirius’. 

“I don’t deserve this,” Remus said, gripping the edge of the table and pulling himself to a standing position. “I deserve someone who loves me as much as I love them. And you love Sirius.” 

Y/N stood up too. “I don’t love Sirius, I love you.”

Remus lets out a single, harsh laugh. “Listen, Y/N, you deserve happiness and it’s very obvious I can’t give that to you,” He looks over to Sirius’ table to see the boy’s gaze fixed on him. “But he can. Please, save me the additional heartbreak and just get on with it. For the love of Merlin.”

“Does that mean you’re breaking up with me?” Y/N sniffled. Remus had been her first boyfriend, and to have it end so badly was a shame. She couldn’t lie and say that she wasn’t expecting it, but it still stung. 

“Think of it more like...setting you free.” Remus leaned down and kissed her cheek before walking out the door. Y/N now knew what it felt to be gray.

~

As time went on, Y/N’s gray soul started to morph back into dark blue. She thought a lot about what Remus had told her, setting you free. Maybe he was right, she didn’t exactly know. Y/N spent a lot of time at the lake. There was an old, splintered bench near the shore that had an excellent view of the water. Especially at night. The moon would reflect against the water and make the surface look like liquid silver; sparkling, and swirling against the dark depths. 

“Hey,” A familiar voice said one night. His voice was smooth and silky like he had just finished drinking a warm cup of tea. Y/N could sit and listen to him talk for hours. 

“Hi, Sirius.” Y/N responded, pulling her knee to her chest and tucking it under her chin. She suddenly felt insecure under the gaze she once felt most comfortable. 

“I heard you and Moony broke up,” He said casually, as if he was discussing what he had for dinner. 

“Yeah, you watched it happen.”

An awkward silence fell over the two.

“I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you.” The words tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop them. Y/N sucked in a harsh breath. “Yeah, why did you do that?” There was a pause. 

“I don’t know, Y/N.”

“Yes, you do. Don’t lie to me.” She turned her head to look at him. The moon was casting a dark shadow over his nose, like that night in the common room. Y/N observed how it danced across his skin as his head moved. A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth and Y/n could see a hint of the colorful boy she had known for years. 

“It’s embarrassing to admit if I’m being frank,” His fingers fidgeted with a loose thread on his shirt. “I guess I was a bit jealous of Remus.” “You, Sirius Black, was jealous of Remus?” She couldn’t believe his words. 

“I know, it’s stupid.” His back slouched against the splintering wood. It pressed into his skin through his clothing but he didn’t want to move and disrupt the still atmosphere. 

“It’s not stupid, love. I just missed you. Besides, my relationship wasn’t exactly the best, there was nothing to be jealous of.” 

“What do you mean?” His eyes met Y/N’s for the first time since he sat down. 

“I don’t know, I think the entire time I was wishing it was someone else? Every time we kissed I wanted it to be someone else. Every time he called me “baby” or “love” or “darling,” I wanted it to be someone else.” Y/N looked directly into Sirius’ eyes. “Every time we fucked I wanted it to be someone else.” Sirius’ eyes grew dark. 

“Who did you want it to be, Y/N?” She scooted closer to the boy and turned so her body was facing his straight on. She reached out her hand and cupped his cheek, her thumb running against his lower lip. “I think you know the answer to that question,” “Say it, I need to hear you say it.” “You, Sirius. I wanted it to be you.” 

The look in Sirius’ eyes was the most colorful look Y/N had ever seen. 

~

“I think it’s him,” Sirius paced across the floor of his and Y/N’s bedroom. “Remus has to be the spy.”

Y/N placed a gentle hand on her boyfriend’s shoulder and led him to their shared bed. He was wearing all black clothes, having just returned from an Order mission with James. Y/N wondered if Lily was dealing with the same sort of conspiracy from her husband. She thought of Lily bouncing baby Harry on her hip while James paced across their living room floor.

“Remus is not the spy, darling,” Y/N ran a comforting hand across Sirius’ back. His muscles were tensed into tight knots. 

“It has to be someone close to us, and we haven’t even heard from him in weeks. He’s out to get our godson because James didn’t choose him. Or maybe he was manipulated by the werewolves. Completely brainwashed.” “It’s not Remus, end of conversation.” Y/N glanced out the window at all of the Halloween decorations. She loved this time of year. The colors were gorgeous, the atmosphere was spooky, and the weather was amazing. 

“Prongs said him, Lily and Harry are going into hiding,” Sirius said. He took hold of Y/N’s hand and began playing with her ring-clad fingers. Still not the ring she yearned for, but she was more than patient. 

“Hiding? What do you mean?”

“Apparently, You-Know-Who is planning on killing Harry.” Sirius looked solemn. “They asked me to be secret keeper, you know. I couldn’t do it.” “Kill Harry? Why him out of everyone? He’s just a baby…”

“I guess there was some prophecy that included a boy born in July, and it matches with Harry perfectly. The Longbottom’s kid, too.” Sirius let his back hit the mattress and his hands ran down his face. How Y/N loved his hands. 

“Who’s the secret keeper if it’s not you?” 

“I’m not sure. James picked someone,” Sirius lied. “It’s not all bad, I guess. Keeps the spotlight off of you. Us.”

“It doesn’t matter if the spotlight is on me or not, you know that. I would happily die for any one of you.” 

“That’s what I’m afraid of, love.”

~

Sirius was with Y/N on Halloween night. He insisted that the two of them hit the hay early that night as he had been awake for almost 72 hours due to a particularly hard mission. He never spoke to Y/N about his missions, but she knew that this one would take a long time for him to process. Sirius had fallen asleep at such an early hour, that Y/N hadn’t even eaten dinner yet. Still, she tucked him into their bed, kissed his forehead, and turned out the light.He had only been asleep for almost four hours when the doorbell rang. Y/N was finishing a cup of tea in the kitchen when it happened. Puzzled, she grabbed her wand and opened the door. “Ms. Y/L/N,” Albus Dumbledore greeted, pushing his way into the small house. “May I help you?” Y/N had never been particularly fond of the old professor, and his presence made an uncomfortable feeling overwhelm her senses. 

“I actually come baring some unfortunate news.” The way he talked made Y/N uneasy. Why was he so casual about it? “May I ask where Mr. Black is?”

“He’s asleep upstairs, I am sure I can handle the news by myself.” “As you wish,” The old man takes a deep breath. “The Potters have been ambushed…”

~

“Babe, you have to eat something.” Y/N said, pushing a bowl of cereal towards Sirius. It had been six months since James and Lily were murdered. While it was hard for Y/N, it was devastating for Sirius. His smoking had taken on a mind of his own, acting as a gateway drug. He had attempted to hide his activity from Y/N, but that proved to be difficult when he started using every single day. Whether that was alcohol or drugs, he was just happy to be sedated and numb. 

More times than not, he would lash out at Y/N. He blamed her for Lily and James’ death, saying that she should have talked him out of rejecting the secret keeper job. And when she would find him on the bathroom floor, eyes bloodshot with his head in the toilet, he blamed her for not taking care of him.

The thing Sirius didn’t seem to understand was that Y/N was mourning just as much as he was. Similar to his situation with James, Lily had taken Y/N into her wing and added her to the family. It felt like a knife being stabbed through her heart when Albus Dumbledore had declared Lily dead. Sweet Lily Evans with the quick mouth and heart of gold. Lily Potter, the woman who dropped everything to protect her son and loved her husband more than anything, was dead. Even just the thought made Y/N’s stomach twist in knots. 

All of the color within Sirius and Y/N’s lives had vanished. Any beauty had been ripped from their brains and replaced with deep feelings of regret, guilt, and depression. At month four, Y/N decided to visit a therapist to reorganize her brain. She had tried to get Sirius to come with her, but he wouldn’t move off of their sofa. 

“Stop bossing me around,” Sirius responded, pushing the bowl away from his body. His mind seemed to be clearer today, but his skin still had a sickly yellow hue and his eyes were sunken in. Somehow, she had managed to convince him to shower the day prior, so he did not reek of body odor. 

“Sirius, please. You haven’t eaten since yesterday morning.” Y/N was trying to cope as well as she could. Not only was she mourning her best friends, but she was also trying to watch over Sirius. Between therapist visits and tending to her lover, she had taken up journaling and meditation. It wasn’t a cure, but it sure did help. 

“You know what? I’m tired of you acting like you’re so much better than me, with your fancy therapist visits and mental health bullshit. You’re not better than me, Y/N.” His voice was loud, but she knew it was just his sick mind talking. She tried to take everything he said with a grain of salt.

“I don’t think I’m better than you, baby. What I do think, though, is you need to eat your cereal.” She pushed the bowl closer to him and he snatches the spoon from inside the bowl. 

He shoves multiple heaping spoonfuls into his mouth. “Fine, if it will make you get off my back.” Small bits of chewed cereal spray all over the table as he spoke. 

~

“Y/N, I think I need help,” Sirius said one evening, an empty bottle of vodka in his hand. His cheek was laying on her shoulder and his drool was dripping down her shirt. He was dressed in striped boxers and a raggedy Beatles t-shirt, but this time, the fabric had various stains and burn marks. Y/N wiped some of the sweat-soaked hair off of his forehead. 

“Help with what, babe?” 

He lifts the bottle in response. “I want to be happy again.”

The following day, Y/N contacted a drug rehab center. When they arrived, Y/N kissed Sirius’ cheek. 

“I’m proud of you for getting help,” She whispered so only he could hear. Sirius looked as if he couldn’t understand what Y/N was saying. 

“I don’t want to be here, Y/N. Please don’t make me.” His voice came out as a whimper, making Y/N’s eyes grow damp. 

“I know, my love, but this place is going to help you.” Y/N wiped a tear from her cheek. “I love you.”

~

Sirius stayed in rehab for three months before he was released. 

The first time Y/N saw him was magical; his hair was cut short, he had shaven his beard, his skin was back to its normal color and his eyes had regained their sparkle. He seemed to get his colors back. When Y/N ran to hug him, though, he didn’t hug back.

“Sirius! You look so good!” Y/N exclaimed, taking in the new look of her boyfriend. 

“Thank you, you do too.” His voice was monotone and flat, his eyes landing on anything but hers. 

“What’s wrong?”

“I think we need to talk, Y/N,” He led her to sit down on a bench outside of the rehabilitation center. He took a deep breath before continuing. “I’ve had a lot of time to think, and a lot of time to talk to different professionals. I don’t want you to take offense to what I’m about to say because it is anything but your fault.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Well, my therapists said I need to take a break from things that are bringing me distress so I can move on and heal.” He looked down at his hands. “And that’s James and Lily’s death. Y/N, every time I look at you I’m reminded of them and the good times we had. I think about how we’re Harry’s godparents. I think about how James always used to kiss your cheek to make me jealous. I think about you and them, Y/N.”

“Are you breaking up with me?” Y/N felt her entire world begin to collapse. 

“I think we need time to heal separately, to deal with this in our own ways. I love you so much and I am so grateful for what you’ve done for me, but I need a break.”

Y/N felt her chest close and her shoulders shake with a sob. She got up from the bench quickly, pushing past Sirius and towards the parking structure. 

She was no longer purple or even blue; she was the color of a thunderstorm. She was the color of a bad day, of paying taxes and skinning your knee. Y/N was the color of pain and she wasn’t sure if she would ever be purple again.

[chaeryybomb]

“brick walls” || l.dh

anon: idk how to do these but I’ve had a story idea for a while 🥺👉🏽👈🏽. Y/n has an emotional breakdown at a party and asks best friend ! Haechan to drive her home (idk why she’s having a breakdown but I very much like angst🥺

pairing: lee donghyuck/lee haechan x reader

featuring: seo yoorim and mark lee

genre: best friends to lovers, high school!au, angst, fluff, we going sad boi hours y’all

warnings: mental breakdown, curse words, usage of alcohol

word count: 4K

a/n: dhshdhd I am SO SO SO SORRY that I took a long ass time to finish this, again I’m really sorry fhshd pls don’t hate me

You were never the kind to let your walls down. You had a stone wall surrounding a kingdom that was your heart, the sole place that stored your emotions. But of course, that wall was never there to begin with. It started out as pebbles surrounding it, which soon turned into bricks, and the older you got, the higher the wall started to build.

You would never admit it, but deep down, you blamed your parents for making you turn out like this. All those arguments and discouraged words tore you down as a kid, so you learned to deflect those words to be stronger. Still they were your parents. Sure they were bad at some aspects, but they had their golden moments. They did raise you and gave you home. Your family was broken, and you learned how to live with it.

Donghyuck was a different kind. He was always smiling and happy. He was literally the sun. The mood maker, the class clown, he made people feel better. You were someone who was quiet and barely smiled. Rain clouds followed you wherever you went whereas Donghyuck made flowers grow on the ground he walked. He was also the sun that made your dark clouds go away.

You were a different person when you’re with Donghyuck. He made you laugh and smiled wider than anyone ever did. Whenever someone asked him how he could be friends with someone like you, he always replied with the same thing with no hesitation.

“You don’t know them like I do.”

Donghyuck was your getaway. Your door to another dimension. His presence made all your worries go away. He meant everything to you. You wished you could tell him that.

It’s obvious that he has feelings for you, so painfully obvious. The way he stared at you like you were his world. The way he subconsciously holds your hand in his every time you’re together. You were on his mind twenty four seven.

You chose to ignore his feelings. You knew it was selfish for you to do so. You thought if you pretended that you didn’t know that he was in love with you, and just continued to be best friends, everything would be fine. No one would get hurt.

Did you feel the same? Of course you did. You love him so much that it physically pains you knowing that you’ll never be good enough for him. He was sunshine and rainbows, you were raindrops and thunderstorms. You knew that it wouldn’t work out between the both of you, you couldn’t even love yourself. How could you love someone else?

It was unfair to you and Donghyuck. You knew you couldn’t keep leading him on, one day, Donghyuck was going to confess to you and you’d have to face the harsh reality of rejecting him. But you never expected that day to come so soon.

You and Donghyuck were in his car, the both of you were driving back from your weekly movie nights in the local theatre. Donghyuck had Conan Gray’s newest album playing from his radio. You had no objections to his music choice, a few months ago, the honey-skinned boy managed to convince you to listen to Conan Gray’s discography.

When he finally reached your home, he parked outside of your driveway and turned to look at you. You were busy getting your bag off the floor to notice, when you were done, you turned to bid him goodbye but caught him staring at you with a familiar look. The same look he always had when he was with you, he looked like he was in love.

You knew he was going to take advantage of the situation to confess to you. You needed to get out of the vehicle. You had too. Your fingers gripped the door handle but his voice caught you off guard.

“Y/N...” his voice was as soft as silk, he gently grabbed your arm so you were facing him again.

You tilted her head, looking at him with those innocent eyes of yours, yet behind that mask was a pair of panicked eyes. His hands moved until he was holding yours and he started to play with your fingers.

“You’re amazing, you know that right?” He started off. His eyes were trained on your intertwined hands. “You’re beautiful, smart, and strong. I wished you could believe me whenever I tell you how perfect you are,” he slid off one of his silver rings and placed it on your index finger. Your breath hitched at the action. He finally lifted his head up to look at you in the eye, love surrounded his brown irises.

“I like you— no, I love you. I love you, L/N Y/N.”

And there it was. The words you dreaded to hear. The cold air from the car’s air conditioner pricked your bare arms as you shakily pulled your hand out of his, the silver ring easily slid off your fingers and you heard it drop into the cup holder. You watched his face morph into confusion.

“No,” your voice wavered as you closed your eyes. “No, you don’t,” you opened your eyes and repeated. This time your voice was firm.

Donghyuck furrowed his eyebrows. “Yes, yes I do, Y/N. I love y—“

“Stop!” You pressed your hands to your ears. “Stop saying that! You don’t love me.”

He reached over to grab your hands but you flinched backwards. Your back was now pressed into the window as Donghyuck stared at you with a different look this time. His eyes had a thin shield of tears, the look of love was gone and replaced with hurt and disbelief.

“D-Don’t say that, I do love you. I love you so much, Lia,” he tried again.

“No, you don’t, Donghyuck. You...you can’t.”

“Why not, Y/N? I love you! Is that not enough?!”

“Because I don’t!” You spat. Your breathing was heavy and your eyes were filled with tears. But you looked Donghyuck in the eye and said it again. “Because I don’t love you.”

The two of you stared at each other in silence, with tension rising every second. And finally a stray tear escaped from Donghyuck. That was the final movement for you to swing the door open and run into your house. You couldn’t bear to stay in that car any longer, you couldn’t stand the sight of seeing him sad, broken like you.

You slammed your bedroom door shut, ignoring your parents confused faces, ignoring everything. Your back was against the wooden door. It was official. You broke the school’s sunshine, you broke your best friend, you pushed the boy you loved away. You choked out a sob, and soon the tears flowed down your cheeks. You covered your whimpers and sobs with your hand and closed your eyes.

There was no turning back this time. It was done. You rejected him and you saw how the tears formed and how he flinched when you said you didn’t love him. You lied to him. You cried yourself to sleep that night, knowing that no one else in the world, loved you anymore.

It had been weeks since his confession. Haechan didn’t go to school for 4 days. When he returned, he acted like nothing ever happened and that he was still the same old happy go lucky boy. The only difference was, he stopped approaching you.

He stopped waiting by your locker in the morning with a cup of coffee in his hand, he stopped sitting with you at the cafeteria, he stopped yelling your name from across the hall. He didn’t even spare a glance at you when you crossed paths in school. You convinced yourself that it was better this way. It was bound to happen anyways, no one ever really stays forever.

Of course news spread fast that you and Haechan were no longer the duo. Haechan never denied nor confirmed that you stopped being friends so the students took it upon themselves to say what they wanted to hear.

“Did you hear? Haechan confessed to Y/N last week and they straight up rejected him!”

“I heard they laughed at his confession and called him an idiot.”

“They’re such a heartless bitch. How could they treat someone like that?”

“Right? Haechan was going to leave them sooner or later. They never deserved him.”

At first the words were like a knife being stabbed into you, but you soon let yourself turn numb to them. The rumors weren’t true. You never laughed at him, yet your mind mocked you.

They’re right, you are a heartless bitch. You don’t deserve him.

Today was not a good day for you. Fridays seem to always suck for you. It started out with the little things in the morning, you overslept and was almost late for school. Your parents were arguing over something petty that they barely noticed you slipped past the door. Since you were late, the bus had already left, so you were left with no choice but to sprint to school.

You barely made it to school in time and luckily you reached before the final bell. But you were then sweaty and the thick blazer you were required to wear was not helping. Later during lunch, someone accidentally bumped into you and split their drink all over your white button-up. You desperately tried to rub the stain off, but with no avail, there was now an orange stain on your uniform. And you knew for a fact that your mother was going to give her an earful for staining it.

And you were right, the moment you stepped into your household, you could feel the tension left over from this morning. Your mother noticed the big stain immediately. One thing led to another, and it turned into an (another) argument. Your mother started accusing you of not caring enough about anything.

She was still yelling when you slammed your bedroom door shut. You let yourself fall against the door with your palms pressed against your ears, trying to drone the yelling out. Your mother was right, you don’t care, you stopped caring. Oh, how you wished you cared.

Honestly, you didn’t know how you let Yoorim convince you to come to this party. Not to mention you were underage and you didn't drink alcohol. You spent most of your days wallowing in self pity. Everywhere you went, you heard Haechan’s laughter ring through your ears. Yoorim was the only one other than Haechan who annoyed her way into your small personal bubble. The tall girl dragged you to a party thrown by some college students to “help you get over Haechan”.

Sweaty bodies and loud music filled the atmosphere, the stench of alcohol floated around you. The party scene made you sick and dizzy. It hasn’t been 30 minutes and you already regret your decision. Sighing, you pushed yourself off the kitchen counter you had been leaning against since you arrived and went off to find the one who dragged you here. You mentally lectured yourself, what were you thinking? Yoorim was a wild spirit, obviously she wouldn’t be there babysitting you. As you pushed past the bodies of drunk teenagers, you started to feel bad about finding Yoorim.

But you had already caught the taller girl in your field of vision. There she was, playing beer pong. The small crowd cheered loudly when the orange ball went in the red solo cup. You shook your head, maybe you shouldn’t disturb Yoorim. Walking home was always an option. Just as you were about to turn back, Yoorim called out your name.

“Y/N! Over here!”

You grimaced but still obeyed nevertheless. Yoorim threw her arm around your neck, her height giving her the advantage to basically head lock you. You looked up to see Yoorim’s cheeks to be tinted pink. She was already drunk. You tried to balance yourself but found it hard due to the other swaying around in her steps as she tried to aim at the cup.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw a familiar mop of black hair. You squint your eyes at the sight. When the figure turned around, your eyes met. You froze and your eyes widened.

Mark Lee, Haechan’s best friend.

What was he doing here? Judging by Mark’s expression, he must know about what happened between Haechan and you. Mark had a sad look on his face, it was sympathy. He gave you a sad smile and small wave but you were still frozen in place. The loud cheers slowly drone out of your ears.

If Mark was here, does that mean he was here too?

As you struggled in Yoorim’s hold, you tried to crane your neck to find the familiar face. Anxiety starts to fill you up, what if he was actually here? You can’t face him. You didn't know how. You avoided each other like the plague, whispers of others followed the two of you like a trail of blood. What were you going to do if you saw him? Would the people here start whispering too?

And suddenly, you felt the stares of others on you. A million pairs of eyes fixated on your trembling figure. Their faces were blurred but they’re mouths were moving. They were talking about you, spreading rumors about her. Everyone was pointing their fingers at you.

You squeezed your eyes shut and your grip tightened on Yoorim’s arm. You couldn’t breath. You didn’t know what overcame you, but with one powerful tug, you dragged Yoorim out of that crowd. Ignoring the confused stares of others and Yoorim’s protest, you dragged her until you were somewhere quiet. When the noise died down in your head, you finally let go of Yoorim's arm.

“What the fuck, Y/N?!” Yoorim yelled at you. But you couldn’t hear anything. Your back was facing her and your hands were pressed against your ears, an action that became a habit. Tears swelled up around your eyes and you kept blinking to push them away.

You were then forcefully turned around by the taller girl. Yoorim's eyes were burning with anger at your unexplained actions. Maybe it was the alcohol that clouded her vision but she didn't notice how your eyes had a veil of tears over them.

"What was that for?!" she demanded. "We were having so much fun and y—"

"I want to go home, Yoorim."

Yoorim stopped mid sentence and stared at you in disbelief. "Go home? Y/N it hasn't even been an hour yet—"

"I said, I want to go home!" you repeat yourself through gritted teeth. You clenched your fists at your sides as you looked Yoorim in the eye.

Yoorim narrowed her eyes at you. "No, Y/N. You don't get to go home. I took you out so you can relax and shit but right now you're just ruining everything! What the fuck is wrong and why won't you fucking tell me?!"

"I—"

"You always do the same shit. You run away from your problems and you push anyone who wants to help you away! Do you know how exhausting it is to keep up with you?! I tried so hard to be your friend but in the end you still push me away. This is why Haechan left you!" Yoorim gasped and she immediately slapped her hands over her mouth. Her outburst seemed to sober her up. You stood there with your eyes wide opened in shock and lips slightly parted as you soaked in Yoorim's words.

"I— I'm so sorry, I…I didn't me—" Yoorim stuttered out. She reached forward for you but you jerked backward. With every step she took, your feet moved back. You shook your head. You felt the tears finally falling down and with that you turned on your heel and ran.

"Y/N!" you heard Yoorim call out but you didn't look back.

Tears blurred your vision as you tried to navigate your way through the crowded house. Small "excuse me"s left your lips as you pushed past everyone. You had to get out of the house. You couldn't break down right there in front of everyone. Yoorim's words still echoed in your head.

You run away from your problems and you push everyone away.

Do you know how exhausting it is to keep up with you?

This is why Haechan left you!

No, no, Yoorim didn't mean it. She's drunk. She was intoxicated. She wasn't thinking straight. She wasn't sober.

But the drunk mind speaks from the sober heart.

And it was true. All you did was run and run away. You never face your problems. You couldn't face Haechan after rejecting him. You never confronted your parents. You never tried to clear the rumors about you. You thought that hiding away behind her four walls could save you.

And Haechan was the one picking your walls down with a stone pickaxe. When you saw how your walls started to crumble, panic rose inside. You started to patch the holes made by him. You didn't want him to see how broken you really were. You couldn't let all your burdens onto him. You had to let him go.

You were so deep in your thoughts that you didn't notice you bumped into someone. "Sorry," you whispered and withdrew yourself.

"Y/N?"

Your eyes snap up to the owner of the voice.

Mark.

Mark looked at you with a worried look. He gently grabbed your shoulders to balance you. "Y/N, are you okay?" he asked in a worried tone.

You shook your head and reluctantly shoved Mark away. You stumbled in your steps as tears continued to gather around your eyes.

"Y/N, Y/N! Wait up!" Mark called out but the wall of dancing bodies blocked him from getting to you.

You finally found the door and your face was greeted with the cold wind of the night. You gasped as you stumbled out of the house. You walked down the stairs of the porch and crouched down. Your hand was over your heart as you breathed in heavily. Fresh tears still stained your cheeks and there was a heavy ringing in your ear.

You slid down against the white porch, sucking in short breaths. Your hand found your phone in your back pocket and dialed the first number that came to mind. You wanted to go home and do nothing but curl up in a ball and cry.

You raised the phone to your ear. "Please pick up, please pick up," you whispered to yourself.

"Hello?"

He picked up. He actually picked up. It has been weeks since you heard his voice. Oh god, how you missed hearing it.

"—llo? Y/N?"

"D-Donghyuck?" your voice was hoarse, it was barely a whisper. You didn't even know how you managed to say his name within your shortened breaths.

The moment he heard your strangled voice, he was suddenly alerted. "Y/N? What's wrong? Are you crying? Are you okay?"

You felt another wave of the blues washed over you. Tears started to fall and you let out a choke. "I-I'm s-s-sorry, Hyu—ck," you hiccuped.

You could barely blabber out formed sentences, let alone words. All you repeated was "I'm sorry" as you sobbed to Donghyuck through the phone.

Donghyuck's heart clenched at the sound of your cries. "Hey, hey," he softly called out for you. "Where are you? I'm going to come get you, okay?"

"I-I don't k-know, some pa-party with M-Mark. I-I-I don't know w-where, I'm sorry," you sniffled.

"Hey it's okay, stop saying sorry. Stay on the phone with me okay?" You could hear his keys jiggling from the other side. You nodded at his words as he kept continuing to talk to her. "I'm here for you, Y/N."

The entire car ride back to Donghyuck’s place was silent. He didn’t say anything and the only sounds that came from you were your sniffles. But he kept a hand on your right knee the entire time, the action gave you a sense of comfort.

He wordlessly let you into his house, thankfully his parents were out of town. You didn’t need more people to question your tear-stricken face. Donghyuck told you to take a shower and he’ll prepare some food for you. When you emerged from the bathroom, your face now cleaned and hair damped. A set of his clothes were neatly placed on his bed for you.

It was your favorite hoodie of his that you would “borrow” from time to time and a pair of grey sweatpants. His clothes were big on you, but it made you feel safe, like a warm blanket being wrapped around your thin frame.

Donghyuck knocked on the door and asked from the other side, “Can I come in?”

Your lip twitched into a small smile at his question. You found it sweet that he was asking permission into his bedroom. You replied with a soft “yes” and the door opened, revealing Donghyuck with a bowl of ramen.

He set the bowl at his desk and the two of you were now facing each other. Awkwardness filled the atmosphere. You didn’t know what to say and Donghyuck couldn’t get the words out of his mouth. You stood in silence, the awkward tension was suffocating.

“I-“

“I’m sorry,” the words flew out of your mouth before he could say anything. “I’m sorry about the other night in your car. I lied,” you confessed. The tears were starting to build up again and your gaze never left the carpeted floor. You took his silence as a sign to continue.

“I’m...I’m sorry that I pushed you away. I didn’t mean it when I said I didn’t love you, Hy—Donghyuck,” you winced when you stopped yourself from calling him “Hyuck”. That nickname was for close friends, and you were almost strangers. It didn’t feel fitting for you to use.

You took in a deep breath and exhaled. “I’m sorry,” you repeated for the nth time of the night. “I-I do love you, but you don’t deserve me. I’m broken a-and messed up. You deserve better,” you finally raised her head to look at him with your glassy eyes.

His expression was unreadable. You’ve never seen it before. You squeezed your eyes shut, your hands fisting at the sides of the hoodie as you anticipated his next movements. You heard his soft footsteps advancing towards you.

You quietly gasped when Donghyuck wrapped his arms around your shoulder, pulling you in for an embrace. He raised his left hand to stroke your head, gently resting it against his collarbones. “It’s okay, Y/N,” he softly said, “I forgive you.”

Those three words hit you like a train and the tears came flooding out once again. You buried your face in his shoulder and your hands clenched at the back of his shirt. Donghyuck held you as you cried, whispering sweet nothings into your ear. He let you cry out until there were no more tears in your system, until he was sure that the walls surrounding your cold heart would be weakened.

You spent most of your time building up brick walls around your heart. You spent years feeling numb and putting up a tough facade. Donghyuck spent most of his time breaking down those walls. He spent his days poking at your heart until it was beating again. You never felt loved and he made sure that he loved you until his very last breath. And for once in forever, you didn’t mind getting your walls taken down.

[bruh-haikyuu]

Shiratorizawa team reaction to smol s/o who reserve most of the time, but will get violence and aggressive if anyone dares insult her height? ily

A/N: In this episode of, “Can you Spot the Slight Manga Spoiler??”

word count: 1411

warning: slight swearing in some!

Ushijima Wakatoshi

Seeing Takeuchi’s back disappear around the corner brought you a sense of comfort. Doing that was always tough for you, all the yelling and threats—but it wasn’t anything your experience with your insensitive brothers couldn’t handle.

Takeuchi got what she deserved and that was that.

“Y/N-san.”

You stiffened. Crap, you cursed, a small excess of your vulgarity stubbornly sticking in your head. Gone was the usual image he had of you, now replaced by your alter ego of hostility and deep-set rage. Considering that Wakatoshi was a popular figure at Shiratorizawa, he could do all sorts of things to you, exposing and disposing of you included in the fair share of privileges he had.

“Wakatoshi-kun! Sorry, I forgot you were there. It’s just that Takeuchi-kun was pushing my buttons so much that I had to…” your voice trailed off when he held up a hand that made your blood run cold.

“I understand it’s nice to see you express yourself more strongly once in a while, but I was just going to ask if you still want to visit that new cafe you had been talking about all week. So I can inform my mother about when I’m going to come home.”

You made it a point that day to never overestimate your boyfriend’s thought process ever again.

Tendō Satori

“‘I may be shorter than you, but I’m not below some freeloading shithead!’ That one was my favorite, hands down, Y/N-chan~”

“Satori, don’t tease!” you jibbed at Tendou, redness evident on your cheeks. “Mamiko-san forced me into a corner back there, I don’t actually enjoy saying those kinds of things. I know it’s not a ‘normal’ side to see from me…”

“Ah, for real?”

You stayed silent; what would be the right answer for someone who took so much gambles? Hands resting idly by the sides of your legs, you didn’t realize when your boyfriend had threaded his own lanky fingers between yours. Looking up at him made him crack a small smile as he leaned down to press a short peck to your temple.

“S-Satori!”

“All sides of you are cute, so don’t you worry ‘bout that, yeah?”

Semi Eita

You couldn’t believe you kissed your boyfriend with that potty mouth of yours. Curses and slander streamed from your lips like it was your mother tongue. In your defense, Ayumu had it coming. Contrary to that, you probably shouldn’t have gone overboard.

“I made her cry,” you murmured, burrowing your face into your hands, hoping it would disappear.

Taking his eyes off the assortment of drumheads in the music store display, Semi laughed. “Well, it was bound to happen. Ayumu’s always been a crybaby since preschool, remember? She really hated our guts ever since we were walking around in diapers.”

Your lips trembled at his retort. True, Ayumu had been everything you had called her a few moments ago. A moron, a brat, a self-absorbed bitch—

“But that doesn’t justify the fact that I should yell at her. Doing that doesn’t make me the bigger person.”

Chuckling to himself once more, Semi ruffled your hair softly. “Whatever you say then. But just so you know… you were pretty cool back there.”

Ohira Reon

Reon’s face fell faster than a skeleton chained to an anvil.

You’ve always been so reserved in front of him, so shy and dainty, barely letting out more than three words in public, maybe even a small giggle when you were feeling it. Otherwise, Reon had never seen you like this.

Passionate and seething in retort to the basketball club captain’s taunts. Kurosawa himself seemed to shrink in your presence despite having mocked you about it only seconds prior, face drained of all its color.

“Get out of my face, you impotent bastard! Next time you say it again, it’ll be more than a kick to your gut!”

For some “unknown” reason, Reon had a frantic urge in his stomach to run away too.

Goshiki Tsutomu

“Geez… that was actually super cool…” Goshiki strained, his face constricting into a painful look of admiration.

A blush graced your cheeks but you quickly brushed it off. “Really? I was just paying him back for making fun of my height.”

“Height is an important asset you have to protect. I’m glad that you did.”

“Yeah…”

Goshiki’s affection came in all sorts of shapes and sizes when it came to you. Relating it to volleyball was his favorite version. It wasn’t anything you wanted to complain about though, you were thankful enough he had the spare capacity to throw away his pride to build up yours.

Whenever you thought about it, your chest lightened. And this time, your heart soared.

Shirabu Kenjirō

“The cheek on you shitty fuckers! Say that again, right now. Say it! If you’re gonna talk shit about me at least do it in front of my face, you lame scumbags!”

The words flying out of your mouth was white noise in your ears, but you knew damn well those words didn’t fit well with your image. A yankii in a tiny high school student’s body seemed completely fictional—something to come across once in a while in one of your brothers’ shounen mangas.

“W-we’re sorry, L/N-san… We didn’t think y-you’d…” the squeak in Murakami’s apology made your chest swell.

“Didn’t think I’d what, huh? Wuzzat you said about my height?! ‘L/N-san’s such a short-stack’? ‘L/N-san’s probably a troll’? I’ll fucking curse you to death with my troll powers then!”

The two girls who had also been ridiculing you with Murakami behind the library’s History section whimpered, tears clumping up the mascara lining their thick lashes. “We’re sorry, L/N-san! Please don’t kill us!”

God, you shouldn’t be so happy to push two girls and a fully grown high school boy to the verge of tears but the satisfied feeling only grew on you. You weren’t the type to always stand up to yourself anyway; the thought made you wonder what your boyfriend would think about it.

“Kenken, did you see that! I took care of Murakami’s gang on my own!”

Looking up from his homework, he looked at you with earnest eyes. “That’s nice, Y/N-san. But if you’re going to curse someone, please refrain from doing it in the library.”

Kawanishi Taichi

Kawanishi swore, you changed moods faster than any of Shirabu’s quick sets. You were on fire just moments ago, pelting down thugs twice your size with only your words and a good, healthy portion of kicks in their guts.

Now, you looked so gloomy, even the clouds admitted defeat.

“I’m going to die, Taichi-kun. They’re going to come back with more of their friends and they’re going to beat me to death.”

“You’re not going to die, Y/N-chan.”

“Oh god, what if they cut me up into pieces and send my head to your doorstep? Taichi-kun, you’ve got to promise you won’t open your door any package soon, okay?”

“I’m sure they’ve got your message back there. You’re not going to die,” he tried again, bringing his hand to the small of your back to rub soothing circles through the cloth of your uniform. “I would’ve hated it even more if you didn’t stand up for yourself. Have more faith in that, Y/N-chan.”

For Kawanishi Taichi who seldom spoke more than two sentences in a conversation, he was willing to recite a million poems to make you realize everything you did was perfectly fine to him. And there was no better reward for that extra effort than the smile that adorned your face.

Yamagata Hayato

“That was really awesome, Y/N-chan! Can you do it again?” Yamagata sparkled at the way you threw off Suda’s insults.

“Y-yell at you? Is this one of your compulsions I should be worried about?” your face paled at his request.

Yamagata’s brows furrowed at your genuine concern. “Hey now! I complimented you, so don’t go about thinking I’m laughable or something.”

You fell quiet, lips pursed in a small pout. Should you be taking this so lightly? You knew Suda wasn’t going to stop even with the big rampage you did on him. But… looking at your boyfriend, ever so cheery and supportive, you felt like your heart had sprouted wings.

“Don’t think too much about him, Y/N-chan. You were really badass,” he threw you two thumbs-up.

“Thank you, Hayato.”

“So, are you going to pick up on my request after all?”

“No. Don’t even think about it.”

[krsnbgirl]

Fly High! || Kageyama x Fem!Reader || Part 3

Summary: The volleyball club is very keen on making you join and you find yourself slowly giving in, despite having doubts about yourself. You also find yourself naturally gravitating towards Kageyama without realizing it after one of their practices. Kageyama also finds himself questioning the effects you have on him.

Pairing: Kageyama Tobio x Fem!Reader

Genre: Rom-Com, Slice of Life, Sports

Word Count: ~2.9k

Warnings: Slight swearing, smoking (for Ukai), Signs of Anxiety from Reader, Timeline heavily based on the anime

Author’s Note: And here is part three of the series! I hope you guys enjoy it! Thank you to anyone that has interacted with the first part :) Taglist is still open if any of you would like to be a part of it! Also crossed posted on AO3! xoxo, Ren  ❤

Taglist: @misnmatchedsox​ @monviemoo

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Masterlist

The final bell of the day rang and you groaned as the paper bag sitting next to your desk was calling out your name. It was the middle of the week which meant that you had the apartment all to yourself until your mom returned late from work. You had planned to go to Ukai’s shop to pig out on snacks to take home and eat while playing video games. But it looked like your plans changed as you looked over towards the burgundy uniform that stared back at you. With a sigh, you pushed herself up from your desk and went to start on cleaning up the classroom. You let your mind wander to earlier that day when you were walking around the school during the last break of the day and had bumped into the third years who were conveniently looking for you.

“(Y/N)-chan!” Asahi greeted as the three of them walked up to you. You stepped back and skeptically looked at them.

“Now, now (Y/N)-chan, you don’t need to be looking at us like that.” Sugawara laughed and you scoffed.

“Says the one that also tried to tie me down with the idea of being manager instead of helping me.” You pouted.

Sugawara held up his hands in defense and said, “We all know you can do it (Y/N)-chan.”

“Which is why we’re doing this!” Daichi exclaimed before he ran towards you and threw you over his shoulders.

“Suga you traitor! I can’t believe you were acting as decoy for this! Daichi, put me down!” You whined as you hit his back and kicked your legs in your attempt to try to escape.

In response to your antics, Daichi tightened the grip he had around your waist and fastened his pace.

“Nah, I don’t want to. Besides, we need to complete our mission.” he chuckled.

“What mission?! You guys are crazy, don’t think you can get away with this!” You huffed and continued to pound on Daichi’s back.  

Asahi and Sugawara only laughed at your reaction and Sugawara threw his blazer over your waist. The three third years ignored your pleas and the weird stares coming from students that walked past them.

“There, there (Y/N)-chan. If you only agreed to being manager in the first place you wouldn’t be in this position.” Asahi playfully said.

“We all saw that serve and if anything, this could be helpful for you.” Daichi continued.

“Shimizu-san was the one that asked us to help her find you because she needed to give you something. But we also know you well enough that you’d try to escape if we told you why we needed to talk to you. Or y’know…” Sugawara shrugged before finishing his thought, “corner you and convince you to come with us.”  

You sighed and crossed your arms, glaring at the floor. “Fine, you have a point. But can you please just let me walk?! Do you think I can actually outrun the three of you giants?!”

The boys laughed as Daichi finally set you down in the hallway for third year classes. “True, but we thought this would be more fun.”

Daichi ruffled your hair and you couldn’t help but groan, facepalming and accepting the fact that they’ll never stop messing up your hair. “You guys always just have to go for the hair, huh?”

Pressing your hands together, you looked up and playfully prayed out loud. “Oh kami-sama, what did I do in my previous life to deserve this type of treatment from three giants?”  

“You’re just so fun to tease sometimes, (Y/N)-chan.” Sugawara chuckled as Asahi waved down Shimizu.

She walked up to your group with the brown bag in hand and passed it to you.

“Inside is the practice uniform for us. I know you’re still thinking about it and hopefully these boys have been doing their best to convince you. But we all saw that you were finally opening up on giving volleyball a second chance once you picked up the ball.”

“Once it’s in your body and you get a feel of that court, it’s never going to leave you (Y/N)-chan. Trust me when I say, I know how you feel about being adamant on leaving the court after something happened. It’s all about keeping your perspective open.” Asahi said.

“Sure you had something knock you down, but always remember, it’s better to come back stronger than let yourself drown in what ifs.” Sugawara reminded her.

“Of course, everyone has their own time when it comes to healing. But I know I can see that your time is nearing, (Y/N)-chan. And when that time comes, we’ll be there to support you. The first step is to slowly get back into it, even if it means just doing it on the sidelines.” Daichi said as he gave your shoulders a reassuring squeeze.

“And if anything, Nishinoya-kun is the one person that’s been looking forward to your return onto the court.” Shimizu said.

Taking the bag into your hands, you gave them a small but thankful smile. You wouldn’t admit it to them, but you had missed volleyball. After trying so hard to walk away from the sport, all the emotions you felt after stepping into the gym came at you like a wildfire. After your incident, you distanced yourself from it because of how much your injury affected you. Now one year later, what ifs had begun to enter your mind, especially once Nishinoya began to talk about how Karasuno was picking up their game once more. You couldn’t help but feel jealous of him. He was still able to do the one thing he loved while you were stuck at square one. But now knowing that he’s been wanting you to get back into it, talking about the boys and their games was just a way for him to lure you back into your love for the sport.

The third years could see the look in your eyes change after Shimizu mentioned Nishinoya and smiled at each other. You were like their little sister and all they wanted was the best for you and they knew that it was volleyball. You were one of the most passionate players they’ve seen and they would do anything to see you at your happiest.They weren’t sure if you would ever be able to return back to the court, but being involved as a manager could  be the starting point for you. They just knew that volleyball was destined to always be a part of your life no matter what.

“I hate you guys…” you murmured as you looked away, hugging the bag to your chest.

“We love you too, (Y/N)-chan.” Sugawara smiled and Asahi bent down to rest his arm on your head.

“So does that mean you’ll be our manager then?”

You clicked your tongue and elbowed Asahi before walking away. “I’ll think about it, Goatee Guy.”

“Goatee Guy?!”

You laughed as you finished up your clearing duties, a warm feeling spreading through your chest as you realized how much the third years looked after you. After putting the broom away, you picked up the bag and stared at the uniform that sat inside. With a million thoughts running through your mind, you bit your lip in contemplation as your eyes moved towards the clock in the classroom. Their practice was just about to start and so with another look at the bag, you gathered your things to make your way over to the gym. ‘Screw it, let’s see how this goes’ You thought to yourself.

---

‘Am I really going to do this?’ You thought to yourself as you slowly walked towards the gym after changing into the uniform.

Peeping through the door, you saw that the boys were already inside of the gym warming up. You were about to sneak in, until Hinata ran up to you with his quiz in his hands.

“(L/N)-san! Some parts you taught me were on there, and I got a third of them right!” he happily exclaimed.

Quickly forgetting about what you were  worrying about, you began to jump with Hinata in joy because he managed to pass the quiz with your help. The boys were surprised to see you in the uniform, but nonetheless happy that you were seriously considering becoming one of their managers. Shimizu approached you while Daichi called for their drills to begin and decided to give you the rundown.

“I’m sure you already know by now, but you don’t have to be nervous. Just make sure to be careful of stray shots.”

You gave Shimizu a questioning gaze, as if daring to see just how bad the stray shots can be, and she laughed. “You’ll just have to see for yourself, (Y/N)-chan..”

“Ugh Kiyoko-san that’s no fair…” You playfully whined before following her around to help on whatever needed to be done.

Soon enough, Coach Ukai and Shimizu were throwing balls at the boys during their practice match. As you watched while doing the small tasks that were given to you, you slowly began to understand what Nishinoya was always telling you about the boys. There was the hunger for revenge that drove them to train harder and you could see it in all of their eyes. You couldn’t help but laugh whenever you saw Nishinoya and Tanaka get riled up whenever something great happened. It reminded you of the times when they would just as riled up for you during your matches after Nishinoya began high school.

For a second you took your eyes off of them to check the time and out of the corner of your eye, you saw a stray ball coming your way. Before you could think, your body reacted on its own by squaring off your body and bending down. ‘Wait it’s too high.’ You crossed your arms just in time for the ball to rebound off of your forearms. The boys apologized but were also surprised at your fast reflexes.You casually waved it away and didn’t notice that a certain someone had his eyes on you. Kageyama saw it all happen since he was part of the trio that managed to block Asahi’s spike that headed towards your direction. He couldn’t hide his curiosity and surprise to see someone so aware of their surroundings. It made him wonder what it was like to play against you on the court. Kageyama kept staring at you and it wasn’t until Tsukishima nudged him in the stomach for his attention to return back to the court.

“Oi, Kageyama, we all know that (Y/N) iis cute but who knew that she’d catch the King’s attention. Don’t let her become your weakness if you guys do become a thing. We can’t let your reputation on the court get ruined.” Tsukishima teased.

“Shut up!” Kageyama hissed as his teammates snickered since it was hard to find things to tease Kageyama with.

After making sure that you were fine, Shimizu began to tell you how Karasuno’s offense is among the best in the prefecture. You hummed in response as the conversation continued while dodging or hitting away any stray shots. You snickered as you looked behind Shimizu to see Nishinoya and Tanaka fanboying over the fact that your senpai was talking more than usual. Your best friend met your gaze and gave you an encouraging nod as if to say ‘You’re doing the right thing. As well as “I told you so.”’’ Playfully rolling your eyes at him, you nodded at him to focus back on practicing just as Coach Ukai yelled at them to stop goofing off. You looked back at Shimizu as she observed the team and told you that Karasuno is going to make it to nationals once more.

You were lost in thought for most of the time while Shimizu took on most of the work. You knew that everyone wanted what’s best for you but you didn’t know if being a manager was going to work out for you. Would you be able to keep up? Were you even worthy enough to be their manager? You’ve been out of the game for a year, maybe even longer. Why are they having so much faith in you? With thoughts like these swirling your mind, practice was over before you knew it and Takeda-sensei was giving their announcements.

“...Ouginishi High School requested a match tomorrow and I accepted. They saw us at the Inter High prelims and insisted.” Takeda-sensei said.

The boys cheered and their energy rose up once more as they excitedly talked about their match. You watched them interact with each other and couldn’t help but feel jealous. Your longing for the sport continued to grow the more you interacted with the boys and you didn’t know how to feel. After your injury, you vowed to never return to the sport and yet there you were: back inside a gym filled with other people who loved volleyball just as much as you did. A swirl of emotions began to get the best of you and you quietly excused yourself to take a breather outside while the team cleaned up the gym for the night.

Your mind was torn as you quickly changed back into your school uniform and made your way back to the gym. Shimizu had asked if you wanted to walk home together on her way out, but you quickly declined because you needed to sort out your own thoughts. As you began to make your way towards the gate, you paused in your steps as you heard Coach Ukai and Takeda-sensei talk to each other. Your eyes widened as you listened in on their conversation. You felt bad when Takeda shared with Coach Ukai that he  couldn’t get the bus they needed for the team to go to Tokyo. Pursing your lips, your mind flashed to the boys’ excited expressions for their away games. It was important to have a bus and maybe, just maybe you could figure out a way to help them just this once.

“(L/N)-san, are you gonna be our manager?” Hinata asked as he ran up to you.

You jumped and turned around to find him staring at you excitedly. Taking a step back, you tried to figure out what to say to the poor guy since you still didn't have a solid answer.

“You’re going to, right?”

“Oi, Hinata, what are you doing to our (Y/N)-chan?” Tanaka and Nishinoya asked as they approached you.

“You better not pressure her into saying yes. But I’m pretty sure my (Y/N)-chan will say yes anyways.” Nishinoya said as he stared Hinata down.

“If she says no then we have to deal with it, alright kid? But I mean, both of us still hope that you’ll join. We’re just giving you space. Plus when you’re around, Kiyoko-san talks a lot.” Tanaka added.

You  laughed as Daichi knocked both of their heads and Sugawara apologized for their behavior. You waved their behavior away and retorted, “It’s fine, I have to deal with their stupidity on the weekends anyways.”

“Hey!” Tanaka and Nishinoya exclaimed and tried to go after you. Trying to find an escape route, you noticed Asahi and Kageyama approaching and smiled widely. Quickly running behind Kageyama, you held onto the back of his jacket. Peeping behind his tall stature, you stuck your tongue out at them as Asahi stepped in to catch the two idiots. Kageyama could only stand still as he felt your presence while everything went down. The feeling of your hands scrunching up his practice shirt and the weight of your body leaning against his while you looked out from behind caused him to freeze up. He was surprised that you ran up to him and used him as a cover instead of Asahi, who was someone that you were much closer with. What confused him was that it made him happy knowing that you chose him but he simply didn’t know how to react to all of this.

“Let’s all just get along now children.” Asahi sighed as he dragged Tanaka and Nishinoya away from you and Kageyama.

Everyone’s attention was then diverted to Hinata who took out his phone to show the text he had gotten from, Kenma, his friend from Nekoma. You sighed in relief before realizing you were still hanging onto Kageyama. You felt how stiff he was and sheepishly let go before standing in front of him. Rubbing your neck, you awkwardly smiled and looked up at him.

“Sorry Kageyama-kun, I didn’t realize I was still hanging on to you.”

“O-Oh...it’s nothing really. Those two can be a handful sometimes.” he murmured as he felt his cheeks warm.

You softly laughed and smiled back at him. “Right? Well thanks for letting me use you as my shield, Kageyama-kun. Let’s catch up to them.”

Kageyama froze once more when he saw the bright smile you gave him. He snapped back to reality when you began to walk towards the rest of the boys. Clutching his chest in hopes to relieve the pounding behind his ribcage, Kageyama began to slowly understand what was happening to him. He glanced at you once more, who was talking to Tsukishima about your upcoming assignments, as he slowly made his way towards the rest of the team. Kageyama didn’t know how to react to the effect that you were slowly having on him and it was going to be the death of him if it continued to grow.

‘Kami-sama, please help me. I don’t know what to do if this continues to happen whenever I’m around her.’