#kuukou is so funny lmao

[akkivee]

some stuff that made me happy reading this event lol

this other temple was putting on a parade for nagoya and asked for kuukou’s help putting it on bc none of the direct lineage wanted to

kuukou called out it’s bc it’s too teemed in tradition to garner interest in the youth and vowed to rework the entire concession lol

so kuukou’s tengu costume is kuukou’s design sense 😌😌😌

upon accepting the role as tengu, kuukou proceeded to basically larp around nagoya as a tengu, even outside of wearing the outfit lmao

like tengu are usually known to defeat demons and the antagonists in this event wore demon masks so kuukou tended to say that bc he’s a tengu, he’s gotta rid the town of demons LOL

doppo got his briefcase stolen by the group of demon masked delinquents determined to ruin the parade and had one of his depressive episodes about it in front of kuukou, but since kuukou doesn’t really know doppo that well he hesitated whether or not he can just slap him out of it like he would have with say, jyushi in vkei mode lol

kuukou: *upon seeing doppo’s done with the self-flagellation* well welcome back to the mundane world after your little trip to the spirit world. you good now??

saburo is prickly no matter who he’s with outside of ichiro lol, but it was kinda fascinating to see him greet kuukou fairly neutrally lol

they eventually found the demon masked delinquents and kuukou threw a shop sign at them to stop them from running away. kuukou laughingly said it must’ve been fate that he was able to knock two birds with one stone and he’s the worst 💜💜💜

bc the delinquents were terrified of kuukou upon realising who attacked them, kuukou was able to tell not only that they were locals, but that the head of their little group was actually the son of the temple head who asked him to precede over the parade

said son had been excommunicated from the buddhist community, likely for his garbage behaviour, and his father expressed jealousy that shakku had such a dutiful son to inherit his temple

kuukou, in order to protect the parade, created the grand master plan of letting the parade run as he intended, but to create a spectacle out the tengu (him) ridding the town of demons (beating up the delinquent son LOL)

y’all do not understand the amount of glee kuukou had getting to chase down that delinquent for all of nagoya to see LMAO

samatoki had two roles in this event; to tease his fans that he wore a suit to a wedding but you don’t get to see it (arb🤝hypdream) and to choke the life out of the delinquent for rudely bumping into him 😌

sasara had two roles in this event; to take samatoki out (on a date) to this vintage clothing store he once covered on a show, and to give his condolences to the fool who bumped into the yakuza with no remorse 😌

before samatoki could kill do further damage to the delinquent lol, kuukou swooped in, chiding samatoki for nearly swiping his prey and threw his sandal at the delinquent, knocking him out instantly lmao

samatoki: fcking btch, getting knocked out by a clog 😒

and so the scene the citizens of nagoya walked in on was the delinquent laid out bleeding (it was paint lmao) surrounded by the tengu and these two other guys and normally that would be cause of concern lmao but it a good thing saburo and doppo took on the role of crowd control and told the people ‘wow!!!! look at how heroic our tengu was!!!!!’

they were our kuukou glazers basically LOL (god i wish that were me)

[slugtranslation-hypmic]

hihi slug!! what are your thoughts on the shuffle drama track now that its out? i had a lot of fun listening to it and liked most of the dynamics a lot ^^

I haven't listened to it yet, but I have some free time tonight, so I guess it's time for a Live Slug Reaction. (Under a cut for length)

You can follow along with a detailed summary here. I'll put time stamps to show where I'm at too.

(1:03) Wait, so - this is considered canon, right? And it's taking place after the second DRB? I'm guessing Freestyle Gladiator is some sort of promotional program Chuuouku is at least partially involved with, and that's all fine and dandy, but has the rest of the plot just stood still while this has happened? Like... is Ramuda not still deathly ill? Is Jakurai still supposed to be working for Chuuouku even though Honobono reneged on Jakurai's terms? Are the Buster Bros still at odds with Rei? What's going on with the whole Juuto's job thing? I guess this is probably supposed to be a funny bit so the plot doesn't apply, but I have a few questions about the logistics of it.

(1:07) I already laughed about this when the preview came out, but it's STILL hilarious to me that the first thing Ramuda ever says to Sasara that's not related to the brainwashing is, "lol your jokes suck ass"

(2:07) Here come the baddies of the day. I can feel it.

(2:24) Wait, is this Juushi? Huh, I don't think I've heard his speaking voice much before. I almost didn't recognize him except for his speech style.

(2:27) Me: Is this Juushi? Ichirou literally a second later: Quit crying, Aimono

(2:33) LMAO Juushi says Ichirou sounds like Kuukou... that's cute.

(2:38) Ichirou's laugh is making me having affectionate feelings. Disgusting. At any rate, it's good to hear him sound happy about Kuukou and not just sad anymore! Hell yeah! I missed the IchiKuu interactions in a major way. Hope we get more of them in present day canon.

(2:52) In my predictions for this track, I said something to the effect of this being the good boy team who go around doing community service. Well, apparently they're helping Ichirou work a takoyaki stand. So there's a bit more capitalism than I expected, but yeah, this is really a good boy team thing to do.

(3:22) I love how Juushi's voice actor makes those very emotional wails. He's really talented. Also, what a working in retail/restaurant/customer service mood.

(3:59) Juushi's VA going OFF (also another customer service mood)

(4:14) lol did Roshou just... burn the takoyaki because he likes it better that way? Okay, I do have to say, maybe this is what Ichirou gets for assuming Roshou knew how to cook takoyaki just because he's Osakan. Regional profiling much, Ichirou?

(4:40) I feel like I'm listening to a Dice mukbang. I wonder how these kinds of scenes are recorded. Do the voice actors really just go "HAMP OMP HARF SHLARF" into the mic and call it a day?

(5:03) Juushi: Black takoyaki? I bet we can make a cooler name for it somehow. .... Okay, but the conventional definition of cooler or Juushi's definition of cooler?

(5:08) Yup. Definitely Juushi's definition of cooler.

(5:11) Roshou: Bla- infe- wha- huh? Me too, Roshou.

(5:22) Thank you, Kimusuba, for your enunciation, because I had no clue what Juushi said until you repeated it. Roshou is probably thanking you too.

(6:01) It's hella cute to me that Roshou makes an effort to play along with Juushi, even though he clearly thinks this is some BS. He probably does the same for his students.

(6:18) Oh are you fucking kidding me - Doppo got mugged AGAIN? This poor man. Why do these things keep happening to him?

(6:23) Rei: Well... I mean, he just looks like a sucker. LMFAO

(6:44) Took me a minute to understand what Samatoki's saying. I don't think his voice agrees with me all that well. I do have to say, this is very funny (re: "You're a part of my crew now, and anyone who fucks w/ you fucks w/ me") not in the sense of Samatoki's protective streak - love that - but in the sense of Samatoki being so willing to throw hands. Can we set him on Doppo's employers while we're at it?

(6:50) Come to think of it, I think Doppo is genuinely the only person who ever calls Samatoki "Aohitsugi-san" despite all of Samatoki's demands for respect.

(7:19) Rei sending Doppo out to buy him a tea is such a dad thing. This feels like an episode of Old Enough, the show about sending toddlers to run their first errand.

(7:55) AGAIN?

(8:19) The way Rei goes, "I'm just an ordinary, sake-loving middle-aged man" is so fucking funny. He's not even trying to sound believable.

(9:01) Fuck 'im up, Doppo! FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!

(9:53) The way Samatoki offers to pay for everything is heart-warming. The older brother instinct. The issue is that certain people (Sasara and later Ramuda) have been known to take advantage of this, and judging by how excited Rei sounds, Rei's about to join them on the list.

(10:05) Oh fuck me, I wasn't ready for Riou's voice to come immediately after Ramuda's high-pitched humming. I also momentarily parsed his line of "A flea market..." as "The free market..." and was instantaneously transported into a world where Riou is an off-the-grid, libertarian crypto bro.

(10:15) RIOU-CCHI

(10:19) Oh, he's the grandma who goes with the grandkids to the flea market to sell her homemade wares... Here's a 1000 yen bill, Ramuda-kun and Hifumi-kun, now go buy yourselves candy and be good boys while Riou-baachan sells his home cooking. Has anyone ever given Riou knitting needles before? I think Riou would love knitting needles. This man is one rocking chair away from being 85 years old, and I love him for it.

(10:38) Horribly, horribly pleased that Ramuda and Hifumi are impressed and interested as opposed to my worst fears of "Eww, you're a gross, sweaty dude who lives in the woods!" My crops are watered. My will to live is restored.

(11:16) He just has a bag of perfectly-sized clothes with him (??)

(11:24) A suit made of manga panels................ okay, but is it good manga? Or did Ramuda give him the """""classy""""" version of an ahegao sweater? Hey, would it be fucked up or what if it was the Hypmic manga on the suit? Hifumi comes back to Matenrou being like, "Damn, Jakurai! What'd you keep making that face at Ramuda for?" and Jakurai goes ???

(11:28) PINK CAMO

(11:30) Ramuda: That's what fashion's all about! IS IT?!!! Man, I don't know SHIT about fashion.

(11:41) Riou ended up saying the same thing I just did (albeit more politely) so this is a sign that I, too, could be tricked into wearing something garish if Ramuda presented it to me. Also, what was that changing sound? Did they just have a magical girl transformation? Sailor Riou! In the name of survival, I'll punish you!

(12:00) I love that Riou doesn't like it (well, he's complaining about it, rather), but he still wears it anyway. He's known Ramuda for two minutes and is already like, "I must treat him with ultimate respect and care." This is why Riou is the best. Perfect. Everything I could have ever wanted is in this drama track.

(12:39) Riou.................................................... (That sales pitch would work on me, tbh.)

(13:52) Riou.................................... It's no surprise that Ramuda dislikes this, come to think of it, given that he hates smelly nattou. (I call this good taste. I detest nattou haha.)

(13:58) Hifumi sounds like a chain smoker here. His voice actor is killing it.

(14:25) Hitoya "I detest bullying" Amaguni bullying a middle schooler. Classic. I also enjoy Saburou being like, "Well, if SOME people here would actually TALK to one another, we wouldn't have to do this!" Welcome to Saburou Yamada's relationship counseling, where the 14-year-old is more emotionally mature than the 35-year-olds. Maybe he inherited this skill from Rei.

(15:01) LMFAO SABUROU STRAIGHT SAVAGE "You seem pretty stuffy, so I bet you never had any friends in middle school."

(15:18) It's a bit past when he said it, but I'm still thinking about Jakurai going "I had many friends." Considering how differently he viewed his relationship with Hitoya as compared to how Hitoya viewed it, I wonder if those other people he's talking about likewise saw him as a friend... Jakurai... :(

(15:56) Saburou: Aren't you an adult?! (implying that he should act like one) Good for this kid, he is DRAGGING them. I knew he'd somehow be the winner of this unlikely match-up.

(16:22) LMAOO. Okay, this is funny as hell, but theory time. Hitoya's older brother (Sora)'s name means "heaven", as does the Amaguni last name. Hitoya's name, meanwhile, means "prison" on its own but is also used in the word "hell" so much that for me, at least, the first thought upon seeing it is hell. I've always wondered if he might have resented that naming scheme, and I wonder if choosing the name Heaven here is intentional. Perhaps he's copying Sora? Or perhaps he's naming himself Heaven Heaven, the Hypmic version of Moon Moon.

(16:43) LMAO of course Saburou likes it. Know your audience, Hitoya.

(17:13) The way Saburou swears is so funny to me. He sounds like he's trying to act more adult than he is around these older guys he's probably trying to impress, at least a little.

(17:44) Yup, he's definitely trying to impress them. What do adults like? Alcohol! Whisky bonbons it is! Actually, out of curiosity - is bonbon a false cognate? I have a feeling it might be... Yeah, it looks like the Japanese definition might be a bit broader than the English definition. (I may also not know exactly what a bon bon might be. That's one of the things about translation - you realize how ignorant you actually are constantly when you figure out you can't precisely define or explain certain everyday objects maybe out of your sphere of expertise.)

(17:50) Too late, Hitoya.

(18:11) LMAO the way it cut out so quickly

(18:28) Sasara: And today's interesting guest - Yeah, Gentarou's interesting all right.

(18:41) This Jirou impression is really good. I didn't realize it was Gentarou's VA for a moment.

(19:02) Wait, it just hit me - so does Gentarou dead-ass act like this in public? Like when he goes to talk about his books to the press, is he his usual unhinged self, or does he at least pretend to have a sense of decorum? His editors must be scared to let him go anywhere. Working as his PR agent could earn you millions.

(19:54) I just realized what Sasara reminds me of. A Youtuber. He acts like a Youtuber. He's literally trying to film a reaction video. Teens (and Best-Selling Authors) React to Croquette Sandwiches!

(20:04) While the boys continue their "HAMP AMP MURMP" fest, I'll take the time to mention something I forgot earlier. I wish we'd gotten Guy Fieri to eat Roshou's takoyaki. "But Guy Fieri isn't in Hypmic" Well, not with that kind of attitude.

(21:02) Oh, he's his own PR agent. Everything makes sense now. He probably runs his Twitter like Kojima (ft. Dice as Mads Mikkelsen).

(21:18) Rip Sasara's Yotube vid

(22:19) Juuto: Is this ramen? It's pure black. Wait, did Roshou make it?

(22:24) hey does anyone here know Japanese. because I guess you could say now Kuukou's a 食うkou. *booed offstage*

(22:28) The way Dice eats is............. effervescent.............

(23:02) Dice sounds so offended. "You don't mess with food, man!"

(23:44) It's a good thing Juuto's a competitive bitch, or else this would never have happened.

(23:49) YES, SHAKKU IS HERE!! Ft. 5 second long "KUUUKOUUUUUUUUUUU!!!"

(24:07) KUUKOU LOCKED HIM IN THE SHED??!!

(24:18) God, I aspire to be like Kuukou. If only we could all do this to our parents.

(24:37) Somehow, I don't think telling Dice and Juuto that Shakku is more of a fierce beast than a human being is going to help convince them to go toe-to-toe with him.

(24:48) Honestly, I understand how Kuukou turned out this way when considering Shakku.

(25:09) I have to say, I'm not super fond of the Kuukou/Dice/Juuto line-up if only because Kuukou's kind of overpowering the other two. It's not that I think Kuukou should be less extra. I love every part of the Kuukouness here. It's more that I wish we'd gotten more of Dice and Juuto's particular nonsenses as opposed to having them be the sensible-seeming tsukkomis. FP is def. a lot more balanced, because one character is always playing straight man to the other two bozos, but who the bozos are is constantly rotating. Likewise, MTC is more balanced because every single one of them is, at all times, thinking, "Let me, the mature and reasonable adult, humor these children I'm with." But here there's not enough trade-off. I guess BAT works well because Juushi and Hitoya are so bombastic on their own that they basically shove Kuukou out of the way for screen-time, but here he's kind of hogging it. And that's a bit of a shame.

(25:40) Love how excited Juushi is for taking a selfie.

(25:52) LMAO I wonder what social media Juushi has. He seems like a Pinterest mood boards kind of dude. I bet the word aesthetic is a part of his voca- well, I guess it is now, because I distinctly remember writing him with that word, for whatever that's worth.

(26:12) Ichirou: Are you ready to fight your own teammates? Roshou, remembering the time Sasara ate his pudding: Of COURSE.

(26:36) For a very weird moment, I thought Doppo was the one smoking (I think it's Samatoki and Rei) and so I thought the other two had indoctrinated him. Doppo comes back to Matenrou reeking of nicotine, and Hifumi won't let him into the house. Jakurai immediately tries to force him to join a quitting smoking program at his clinic.

(27:15) I love how Rei and Samatoki say p. much the same thing as Jakurai does before every battle, but their deliveries could not be more different.

(27:17) Doppo: I'll despair with CONFIDENCE. <- felt that

(27:36) *whacking Ramuda with a rolled up newspaper* No talking with your mouth full.

(28:12) I appreciate how seriously Riou takes this. That's one of the biggest things I like about Riou. For all of his pride in being a soldier, he understands the weight of conflict and doesn't seek it out lightly.

(28:42) *head in hands* RiOUUUUUUU IS THE BEST. He never once belittles anyone for their interests and always, always, ALWAYS considers things with weight if anyone else cares about them. He’s! Such! A! Good! Person! FUCK!

(29:00) LMAO Saburou sounds so young...

(29:37) There goes straight savage Saburou again. God bless this kid.

(30:09) This is Hitoya speak for, “God, I’d love to have an excuse to kick Kuukou’s ass.”

(30:37) The way his suit keeps flapping around him as he exercises is really something else.

(30:52) I wonder if Sasara used to do this back when he worked with Roshou too. Group exercises, maybe? Except Roshou was kind of jacked back then (or he looked like it, at any rate), so maybe the exercises were simply Roshou benchpressing Sasara.

(31:00) Gentarou must be bored. He’s finding a way to entertain himself.

(31:23) I think Gentarou’s spent so long around Fling Posse that he’s forgotten how to behave in polite society, or rather that most people won’t humor him by falling for his tricks. (Do I think Dice truly believes Gentarou most of the time? Not really. Does it amuse Gentarou? Yeah, so that’s why Dice does it. He does the same thing for Ramuda, and Ramuda likewise plays up falling for Gentarou’s tricks, so I think it’s safe to assume that Dice isn’t as much of a dweeb around Gen as he pretends to be.) Dice and Ramuda aren’t noticing this as much on their end because Dice isn’t really in a good environment for letting out some of his particular goofiness, and Ramuda accidentally ended up with another two enablers. Hahaha. Gentarou might be homesick for them.

(31:40) Ah.... only Dice could eat with such.... passion.......

(31:45) I have to say, it’s a lot easier to understand Dice with food in his mouth than Ramuda. Kudos to Nozuyama. (?)

I’m actually going to stop here (at the part where the alarm goes off) because I’ve been doing this for several hours, and I want to sleep, but I hope that this has been entertaining for anyone brave enough to read the whole thing. 

Final takeaway: Hell yeah, Riou time.

[akkivee]

top five moments from this little drama track in my very unbiased like so objective it’s crazy y’all opinion lol

1️⃣ sasara elected to sign himself and samatoki up to perform another comedy skit together bc he’s stupid ig lmao. samatoki punches him for it tho lmao

2️⃣ all the leaders got to eat at that diner by invite basically. it’s american so the portions are HUGE and the exact conversation about this point was brought like this lol

ichiro: i’ve never seen a burger this size before!!!!! i think it’s the same size as your head kuukou

kuukou: *holds up the burger to his face* ain’t it??

ichiro: *laughs like it’s the funniest thing he’s ever seen* it’s massive bro

3️⃣ there’s a 30cm burger and the leaders decide to have an eating contest to see who can eat it fastest, and sasara gets out of it by being the commentator lmao. kuukou the foodie has quite a bit of praise for the flavour accents in burger as he’s chowing down, ramuda can barely hold the burger up lmao, and ichiro started egging samatoki on where it’s revealed that the both of them have special eating techniques. they shouted them out in sentai style complete with superhero sound effects LOL

4️⃣ jakurai, however, reveals the ultimate technique of squishing the 30cm burger down into one ☝️ cm and eats it in four bites. HES THE WINNER LMAO (and ichiro slams his fist down lamenting his defeat LOL)

5️⃣ the track ends with the leaders cleaning up the restaurant bc they ate so much food, the restaurant workers wouldn’t be able to clean up in time for their grand opening the next day lmao. kuukou and sasara were bums and weren’t helping (kuukou: they say you have to work to earn your keep, but i’ve already eaten 😈) but eventually they get chided into helping lmao. kuukou rushed forward to complete his chore with gusto but he bumps into sasara and kuukou yells at him for getting in his way lmao and sasara yells back that he’s an idiot as samatoki tells them they’re being annoying fcks and ichiro tells kuukou that was dangerous and all six of them made for an interesting group according to ramuda 🤗🤗🤗

[akkivee]

‘a demon has appeared in nagoya’ and the demon (oni) is me akki means oni i have finally found my way to kuukou’s nagoya and am ready to be demon slayed by his sword—

[akkivee]

me: AAAAAHH THATS KUUKOU LAYING LIKE THE RESTING BUDDHA STATUE OMG WHAT A NEAT REF—

kuukou:

me:………………this too is part of the core of kuukou’s buddhism 😌

[akkivee]

god kuukou is so tiny next to the yamadas lmaooo

[akkivee]

it is so funny to me that kuukou and hitoya default into the same pose lmao

[akkivee]

anyway here’s my lifeblood

[akkivee]

i would like to thank the academy for this prestigious award. it’s almost been four years since i drew kuukou’s 🅱️oobs spilling out of his top and they have only continued to validate me since, so i would also like to give thanks to tsujimoto takanori and his team for presenting this to me, king records for creating kuukou and harai kuukou himself for being a gift to humanity—

[akkivee]

read a tweet that pointed out that jyushi usually talks of blood and tears in songs, but in shinjiru chikara, not only does he not mention tears, he’s also lowkey dissing blood bonds (y’know like the bb bond) and jyushi’s the one out for blood in this song y’all LOL

[akkivee]

kr: the coolest‼️

kr: fun bois 🥺🥺🥺

kr: 🥵🥵🥴🥵🥴🥵🥵🥴🥴

[akkivee]

cute bad ass

[akkivee]

in other news, jakurai and kuukou tutor jiro the event wound up being lowkey an ichikuu event lmao

kuukou was thinking about a time where ichiro recently came down to nagoya and helped him out with some scammers and so he came over to bukuro to help him with anything he wanted lol

the above scene is kuukou happy to see ichiro’s back 😭😭😭😭

lol in multiple scenes where yorozuya yamada is the setting, including this event, people tend to ring their doorbell to be let into the property. ichiro came home and was surprised to see kuukou there and saburo, a little later, came in the room, having been home this entire time looking for something in jiro’s room, and was also surprised to see kuukou there, meaning kuukou just let himself into the yamada home like it was his own LOL

kuukou and ichiro were this close to going on a business trip together!!!!! this close!!!!!!

after saburo snitched on jiro lmao, ichiro and kuukou greeted jiro with the twin ‘i’m disappointed in you look’ and i can’t believe we got coparenting ichikuu twice in the same year bro lmao

and deadass when ichiro was heading out on that trip, he told jiro to listen to kuukou like a dad telling his kids to be good to their mother while he’s out lmao 😭😭😭😭😭😭

after ichiro and saburo returned from their business trip and therefore the tutoring session was over, jakurai left like a normal person, but kuukou, tired from tutoring, flops onto their couch and goes to sleep there and ichiro says nothing about it lmao anyway when are they going to announce they’re dating—

[akkivee]

jiro got a zero on one of his tests and i think it’s crazy to have the middle school dropout be a part of this event LOL

[akkivee]

they’ve been making me weep btw

[akkivee]

saw an article of a fan ranking the hypmic characters based on who they’d like to marry as an older fan and they don’t have bad taste, rosho was number one lmao but what they had to say about doppo actually killed me LOL

‘i don’t see how he’d be able to make time for me working at that black company. and even if he were to get a job at a better company, I don’t think i can beat out his childhood friend’