#kurt overnight x reader

[squidorcuddlefish]

maybe kurt overnight doing some bodily praise to a chubby reader?

a/n: KURT KURT KURT KURT KURT!!!!!!!!! ily kurt the overnight 2015

“Yes! Perfect, right there!”

You attempt not to squint at the bright flash from Kurt’s camera. The click rings through your ears.

Despite the camera between the two of you, you could see Kurt grinning ear to ear.

“Okay, turn to the left a bit.” He swipes his hand to the right. Which way did he want you…? You decide to just follow his hand, which seems to be the right choice, proved by an enthusiastic “Great.”

You swallow nervously. You had never posed for a photoshoot before, let alone one like this. You were just shy of being entirely stripped, covered only by some weird, white sheet that Kurt had you posing with. This wasn’t the first time you had been bare with him, but never had you been doing so for one of his art projects. It all just felt embarassing.

He seemed to notice your discomfort, moving away from the camera.

“You alright?” He asks, sincerity in his voice.

“I don’t know, Kurt,” You look down at the floor, closing the white fabric fully around your body. “I don’t think I like this.”

He steps towards you, finding a spot behind your barely clothed figure.

He hums. “You’ve got nothing to dislike, hun.”

He wraps his arms around your torso as he leans his chin against your shoulder. You let out a soft sigh.

His hands find their way from your torso, just above your hips, squeezing them gently.

“You’re gorgeous.”

His words were simple, but you know he meant every syllable. A soft kiss was placed on your cheek, his lips lingering for a moment.

“We can stop at any time. But I don’t want it to be because you’re not confident. You should be. I mean, God, look at you.”

His hands gently graze up and down from your hips to your upper thighs. Only the thin cloth was keeping him from having his hands all over your bare skin. You shudder at the thought.

“So pretty. Jesus, maybe I should just keep these photos all for myself.” He says through a soft laugh. His words so close to your ear makes your hair stand up.

The intimacy ends sooner than you secretly had hoped as he steps away from you, patting the side of your thigh lightly before he’s back behind the camera.

“Let’s finish up here, and then we’ll do something a little more fun, yeah?” He gives a smug smile and a wink. You roll your eyes, but let the fabric out of your tight grip, allowing it to drape over your shoulders and onto the floor.

a/n: aaugh!!! i hope this is okay!!! i wrote it kind of fast lmao. kurt has a character that’s a lot different than other jschwartz characters (confident but not super cocky), so i hope i did him justice! kurt will always hold a soft spot in my heart

[imaginedisish]

Poker Face (Logan Howlett x Fem!Reader)

A/N: OKAY! Here is the strip poker fic! This is not a request, but there are a few requests I really like, so I'm most likely going to write one of those next! Could not waste the opportunity to use Lady Gaga's "Poker Face" as the inspiration here. I hope you guys enjoy!

Summary: You and Logan are alone in the mansion for the evening, and after a few drinks, your game of Blackjack turns into strip poker...

Warnings: 18+ Sexually Explicit Content MINORS DNI!!! Oral (f!receiving), Fingering, Unprotected PIV, multiple orgasms, softdom!Logan(?), cocky!Logan, alcohol consumption (neither reader nor Logan get drunk), feelings, friends to lovers, strip poker!, f!reader/afab reader, cursing, def some grammatical errors (proofread this one between weird times), I think that's it!

Word Count: 4,025 how did I do that???

The house is empty. Quiet. It’s so strange, almost eerie, but honestly welcome. You can’t remember the last time you were ever so alone. Not lonely—alone. Comfortably and peacefully alone. 

Scott, Jean, and Storm took most of the children off on an overnight camping trip, while Hank, Kurt, and Charles were on a mission with some of the older mutants. Rogue and Gambit were out somewhere, leaving you and Logan in the mansion alone. 

You’re sitting at the kitchen table, back to the window, looking out at the empty room. Everything is untouched—neatly put away. You know things will be back to normal by tomorrow afternoon—dishes in the sink, shoes all over the floor, kids shouting down the halls. But for now, there’s nothing. No disruptions. No—

“Oh, hey,” Logan mumbles, stepping through the doorway and into the kitchen. “Didn’t know you were in here.”

You smile, trying your best not to let your eyes flit up and down his body. He’s wearing one of his tight beaters and a pair of jeans. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t want him—if you said that being alone in the mansion with him wasn’t somewhat overwhelming. You’ve wanted Logan since the day you joined the X-Men, just a few months ago. And while you’ve become close friends, you know it’ll never progress further than that. 

“Wanna join me?” You ask, tilting your head to the chair across from you. 

Logan smirks and nods. He walks to the fridge, swings open the French doors, and reaches inside. “Got something for us, actually,” he says, glasses clinking as he rummages through the fridge. He pulls out whatever he’s looking for, turning around, and revealing a 6-pack of beer. 

“No way!” You shout excitedly. “Logan Howlett, breaking the rules as always.”

He sits down across from you, placing the beers in the center of the table. “You know you love it,” he husks, grinning widely. 

You can feel the heat rising to your chest. He’s right. “I do,” you whisper, hoping he doesn’t catch on to the implications of your words. If he does, he doesn’t show it. He grabs a beer by its neck, pops off the cap with ease, and holds the bottle out towards you. Your fingers brush his as you take the beer from him, his hands warm and surprisingly soft. The contact is fleeting, effervescent. You wish he could touch you again. 

You bring the bottle to your lips, the cold beer a distraction from your all-too-hot thoughts. You watch as Logan pulls a bottle for himself, his muscles flexing as he removes the cap. He brings the bottle to his mouth and knocks it back, his throat bobbing as he swallows. 

“So…” You trail off, doing your all to ignore the way his tongue swipes across his upper lip as he places the beer back down on the table. You take another swig of your beer, ready to down the entire thing just to give yourself the confidence to say something. “D-did you wanna do anything?” You take another big gulp. 

Logan smiles. “Not sure,” he says, taking a sip. “You got anything in mind, princess?”

Your heart flutters at the familiar nickname. You rub a finger up and down the beer bottle, streaking the condensation. “We could play a game,” you offer, your eyes finding his. “Cards?”

Logan hums in affirmation as he knocks his beer bottle back again. He’s already practically finished. “You wanna play Blackjack?” He asks, taking a final sip before standing up and walking over to the kitchen island. He rifles through a couple of drawers before finding a pack of cards. He sits back down across from you, grabbing another beer and cracking it open. 

“Sure,” you answer, watching as Logan slips the cards from their box and expertly shuffles them. He thumbs the cards, dexterously letting them slide through his long fingers. He deals you the first card, face up, and then does the same for himself. You have a king of hearts, and Logan has a five of diamonds. He deals again, and you’re given a nine of clubs. It’s a good hand. Better than Logan’s, so far. He deals himself another card, looking at it briefly before putting it face down on the table. 

He smirks up at you. “Hit, or stay?” He asks.

You roll your eyes. “Stay, obviously.” He shakes his head, smiling as he deals himself another card. 

“Well, princess,” he says, showing you all three of his cards now. Five of diamonds, queen of hearts, and six of spades. “Looks like I won.” He’s smug as he grabs your cards and shuffles them back into the deck. 

You scoff and let him deal you in again.

You’ve only had two drinks, but there’s something about being with Logan that makes you feel like you’re drunk. You’ve been playing Blackjack for almost forty-five minutes now, round after round. Despite this being a game of chance, it seems like Logan wins far more often than you do. 

And yet, something gives you the sudden confidence to up the ante. 

“Lo?” You ask, taking a swig of your third beer, now. He looks up at you and hums, dealing the next round. You lean across the table. “What if we…” you trail off. “Made this more exciting?” 

Logan looks across the table under hooded eyes. You can sense the sudden shift in his expression, and you know he can sense the suggestiveness in your voice. The corner of his mouth turns up—a sly, half smile. “Exciting how, princess?”

You’re nervous now—all talk and no action. “Maybe we could bet somehow?” You offer, but Logan knows that’s not truly what you mean. He cocks his head, eyes narrowing.

And then he says exactly what you’re thinking—as if he can read your mind. “What about strip poker?” 

Your eyes widen and you swallow harshly. Logan is focused on you, still folding the cards into each other. You finally nod your head. “Sure, sounds fun.” 

Logan quickly deals the first cards. You have an ace, and Logan has a ten of diamonds. He places another card down for you—seven of clubs—and another face down for himself. 

“Hit or stay?” He asks, his eyes set on yours. He’s leaning closer to you than he was before. 

You take a deep breath. “Stay,” you answer, your voice trembling ever so slightly now. 

Logan shakes his head. “Wouldn’t have mattered anyway,” he says, flipping over his second card. It’s an ace of hearts. He collects your cards without another word, but his eyes are still glued to you. 

You bite your lip nervously and decide to tug away your sweatshirt. You’re wearing a thin tank top underneath, much to your relief. Logan’s eyes flit up and down your body, drinking you in. 

You drape the sweatshirt across the back of your chair, your eyes narrowing in Logan’s direction. “You have to be cheating,” you accuse sarcastically.

Logan grins ear to ear as he deals again, looking down at the table. “Just lucky,” he says, the words stopping your heart. “Very lucky.” He looks back up at you. Your breath catches in your throat. 

There’s a four of hearts in front of you this time. You roll your eyes at the low card. Logan—naturally—has a jack of diamonds. He places another card in front of you, a nine of clubs, and another face down for himself.

“Hit,” you mutter before he can ask the question. He places a seven of diamonds in front of you and shakes his head. He reveals his other card: an eight of spades. You smile widely, self-satisfied as you grab your beer by the neck and take a long swig. You lean back in your chair, watching as Logan pulls his beater up and over his head. 

He’s perfect, you think to yourself. Sure, he’s all chiseled abs and muscles, but he truly is beautiful. And you hope he knows it. “Happy now?” He asks, dealing the next hand. 

Heat spreads across your chest and down to your stomach. Your clothes feel tight, itchy. You try your best to ignore the way Logan makes you feel—to ignore the way you long to press your thighs together for some sort of friction. You—very obviously—are failing horrifically. 

“Hit, or stay?” Logan asks. You’re so distracted by him that you completely missed the deal. You look down to see an eight of hearts and a six of diamonds. Logan has a king of spades face up, and his other card face down. 

You raise your eyebrows, mulling it over in your mind. “Hit,” you finally spit out, and Logan deals you a ten of clubs. 

Oh. 

“Well shit,” you mumble. Logan chuckles as you stand up, struggling to decide what to take off. You look down at your athletic shorts and decide those are the next to go. You slip them down your legs and place them on the back of the chair with your sweatshirt. 

Logan’s throat bobs as his eyes trail up and down your legs. He isn’t laughing anymore; there’s something serious in his eyes, something dark. He works his jaw as you sit back down across from him. He looks pained as he deals the next hand. 

You cock your head to the side as he places a queen of hearts in front of you. “Are you okay?” You ask.

“’M’fine,” he answers curtly, drawing an ace of diamonds for himself. He quickly places another card down for you—a five of spades—and another face down for him. 

But you can tell there’s something wrong. It’s the way he moves, the way he fidgets in his seat. You reach out tentatively across the table, your fingers brushing against his. “Logan,” you soothe. “We don’t have to play if you don’t want to.” 

His eyes find yours, and he smiles softly, looking at your cards and then flipping his over. He got it. Twenty-one. Blackjack. “I think this game is almost over,” he says, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. 

You roll your eyes and grab the hem of your tank top, slowly pulling it up your body and over your head. Now all that’s left is your sports bra and your panties. You look across the table, and there’s Logan, eyes locked on you. “One more round?” You ask. 

But he ignores you, pushing out his chair, standing up, and walking over to you. “No,” he murmurs. “I think we’re done with the game.” He pulls your chair out from the table and leans down over you, placing his hands on either armrest, caging you in. 

His eyes are dark and filled with lust, his lips just centimeters from yours. Your noses brush, his breath fanning across your cheeks. You can smell him—the pine and musk and tobacco, his shampoo, a hint of mint. 

“L-Lo,” you stutter, your heart beating out of your chest as he leans in closer. There’s something animalistic, something primal about the look in his eyes. 

“I know you want me, pretty girl,” he husks. “Could smell that pussy crying for me before you even took those little shorts off.” 

“I-I,” you stutter, unable to form a coherent thought, no less a sentence. Your thighs rub together involuntarily at Logan’s words, searching for friction, for relief. 

Logan chuckles darkly. “Yeah,” he hums, one hand dropping from the armrest and slipping in between your thighs. “That’s what I thought, princess.” 

He pushes your legs open, his fingertips trailing along your inner thigh, slowly climbing higher. He finally reaches your heat and two of his fingers drag teasingly through your clothed folds, up to your clit. “Haven’t even touched you yet and you’re already soaked,” Logan growls, stroking you through your panties. “Making a mess of the chair, hm?”

“Logan,” you whine, his fingers circling your clit and then pulling away. Before you can protest the loss of contact, he’s hoisting you up and out of the chair, his hands squeezing your ass, holding you tightly in his arms. You wrap your legs around his waist and bring your hands to the nape of his neck.

He carries you through the kitchen and into the hallway. He stops in his tracks and pushes your back against the wall, his lips finally finding yours. The kiss is rushed and frantic, like he just has to have you now, like he’s so hungry he’d die if he waited another second. He grinds his hips into yours, his erection straining through his jeans. 

“Need you, darlin’,” Logan mumbles against your lips, his chest heaving in time with yours. “Needed you this whole time.” He finally steps away from the wall and heads towards the stairs. You thread your fingers through Logan’s hair as he bites your lower lip, your pulse point, kissing you anywhere he can as he walks up the stairs and into his bedroom. 

He closes the door with a kick, and strides over to the bed in the center of the room, placing you down in the middle and crawling over you. His lips find yours again, his tongue darting out and sliding over your bottom lip, silently asking to be let inside. How could you ever say no? How could you ever not give him whatever it is he wants?

Logan balances on his forearm as his free hand trails up your body, warm and soft and soothing. He finds the hem of your bra and pulls the fabric over your tits. You arch your back, helping him slip it off the rest of the way. He finds your breasts, massaging gently before teasingly rolling your nipple under his thumb. 

“So fucking beautiful,” he huffs, moving to your other breast, pawing at the flesh, rolling over your nipple again, pinching lightly. His knee is settled between your legs, keeping you spread open for him. Your hips involuntarily rock against him, your needy core sliding up and down his thigh, searching for relief. 

Logan smiles against your lips and swallows your moans with a kiss before his touch suddenly disappears. His knee is no longer between your legs—the delicious friction gone. Your eyes flutter open and closed as he crawls down your body, kissing his way to the hem of your panties. 

“Lo,” you whimper as he places a chaste kiss to your clothed clit. “Please,” you beg, squirming underneath him. 

His arm latches around your waist, holding you down to the mattress while his other hand hooks inside the waistband of your panties. He tugs teasingly, taking his time as he slides your panties down your legs and tosses them off to the side. Logan settles himself between your thighs, his breath fanning against your cunt.

His arm is still firmly pushing you down into the mattress as he brings his face closer to where you need him most. “Wanna taste this pretty pussy, darlin’,” Logan grunts, and his tongue swipes through your folds, dragging across your slit and up to your clit. 

You curse under your breath as Logan licks another long stripe, his tongue finishing with a flick to your clit. “So fucking sweet,” Logan murmurs against you, the bass and vibration of his voice sending a burst of pleasure up your spine. “Knew you’d taste so good, pretty girl.” 

Logan pulls you closer to him, burying his face into your cunt like a man starved. He takes your clit between his lips, sucking roughly. His fingertips slide up your inner thigh, drawing higher and higher until he finds your folds. 

“Such a fucking tease,” Logan mutters, spreading your slick, prodding your entrance. “Using cards as an excuse to take your clothes off for me.” He shoves two fingers deep inside you as his tongue circles your clit. “Wanted me that bad, huh?” You can feel him smiling against you, all smug as he pulls his fingers from your slit and plunges back in. 

“Y-yes,” you stutter. His grip is like iron across your hips, keeping you in place, stopping you from squirming. “Wanted y-you so fucking bad.” 

He pumps his fingers in and out, down to the knuckles as he laps at you. He sucks at your clit again, harder this time. “I know, sweetheart,” Logan soothes, his thumb rubbing against your hip as his thrusts become faster, deeper. You’re already shaking underneath him—a trembling mess. “I’ve got you, pretty girl,” he coos. 

His tongue flicks your clit, swirling around the bud, adding more pressure with every stroke. Your walls flutter around his fingers, taking him in deeper. “Logan,” you whine, growing closer with every pump. “I-I—”

You’re cut off as he adds a third finger. “That what you needed, princess?” Logan asks, all cocky and self-assured. Your back arches off the mattress and Logan tightens his grip on your hips, holding you down as he devours you. “You’re not going anywhere until I’m finished with you.”

Your muscles clench around him at the words. His teeth graze lightly against your clit as he pulls the bud into his mouth, sucking roughly. “Lo…” You trail off, unable to use any semblance of language to communicate the way he’s making you feel. 

“Taking me so good, darlin’,” Logan praises, his fingers fucking into you unrelentingly. “Such a good fucking girl.” 

You’re so close, almost at that edge, pleasure burning through your every nerve ending. “’L-Lo I’m so—” you choke out.

“So fucked out that all you can say is my name,” Logan teases, sucking on your clit between sentences. “Wanna feel you come around my fingers.” He pushes himself in deeper. “Wanna taste it.”

“F-fuck,” you stutter, contracting around him uncontrollably. The tension building in your stomach finally snaps, the fire set free to burn through your body. “Logan!” You cry out, chanting his name like it’s a sacred prayer. And maybe it is.  

“I’ve got you,” Logan soothes, his tongue still lapping at you, his fingers still thrusting in and out. “I’m right here, let go for me.” He works you through your orgasm, his pumps slowing down as you ride out your high.

He pulls his fingers from your cunt, but his face doesn’t move. He’s still lapping at you, his tongue swiping through your folds, your slit, up to your clit. He’s drinking you in, savoring the taste of you. 

“Lo,” you whimper, running your hands through his hair, trying to guide him up your body. But he doesn’t budge. He grunts against your core, his tongue dragging through your heat. “Please,” you beg. “Need you, Lo.”

He licks one more long stripe through your folds before finally lifting his head to look up at you. Your release is painted across his lips, glistening in the moonlight. His tongue darts out, licking away the proof of your orgasm. 

“Need me, sweetheart?” He asks, sitting up, unbuckling his belt and letting it fall to the floor with a clink. He unbuttons his jeans and pulls his zipper down. “Need me to fuck you?” You nod, settling into the pillows at his headboard as he tugs his jeans and boxers down his legs. 

His cock springs free, bouncing against his stomach. You swallow nervously at the size of him. He settles on top of you, balancing on his forearm as he guides his cock to your entrance. 

Logan presses a chaste kiss to your lips as his tip nudges through your folds. “Thought about this for a long time,” he murmurs, the head of his cock bumping against your clit before sliding back down towards your entrance. His lips meet yours again, more hurried and hungry this time. “Always thinking about you.” And then he buries himself deep inside you, down to the hilt. He stalls, unmoving, giving you a moment to adjust to the size of him. He’s stretching you out, working you open. You grab his biceps, searching for purchase. Nothing could have prepared you for this, for the way he fills you up and makes you feel whole. 

“Feels so fucking good,” Logan whispers, pulling out and pushing all the way back in. “So tight, so perfect,” he praises, slowly setting a rhythmic pace, pumping in and out. 

His hand leaves the base of his cock and slips between your bodies, finding your clit—still sensitive from your first orgasm. His thumb strokes soft circles into the bud, drawing a moan from your lips. 

“Y-yes,” you pant as Logan plunges into you, faster and deeper with each thrust. You can feel him throbbing inside you, his cock dragging against your walls. It’s already too much—already more than you can handle. “F-feels so good, Lo.”

His hips snap against yours. “I know it does, pretty girl,” Logan coos, rutting into you. “Gonna take care of you. Gonna make you feel good.” His words go straight to your core, your muscles contracting around him. He curses under his breath at the feeling, your pussy taking him deeper as he sinks inside you. “Squeezing me already, sweetheart.”

He’s fucking into you, his pace growing reckless and punishing. He adds more pressure to your clit, rubbing harder, faster. You don’t know how much longer you’ll last, not with his lips at the shell of your ear whispering praises. 

“So fucking beautiful,” he husks, his hips rocking against yours. “Taking me so good, doing so well for me.” He’s hitting that sweet spot inside you with every thrust. He swallows your moans with starving, desperate, needy kisses—biting your lips, bruising them. He’s consuming you, taking everything you have to give him. 

He presses his forehead to yours, pounding into you, somehow finding a way to sink deeper inside. Your walls flutter around him, and you know you’re almost there. “Logan,” you croak, pushing your hips into his. 

“F-fuck,” he stammers, his cock twitching inside you, massaging your inner walls. “I know princess, know you’re close.” You can feel his thrusts faltering, growing sloppier. “Wanna feel you come on my cock, pretty girl.” You moan his name, wrapping your legs around his waist, keeping him close as he pumps in and out. “Come for me, darlin’.”

Logan pinches your clit and buries himself deep inside, sending you over the edge. Your orgasm crashes into you, your walls clenching around him, squeezing him tighter. “Stay,” you whisper, and he knows what you mean—knows exactly what you’re asking for.

He curses under his breath and his head falls to your shoulder as he comes undone, too, filling you up, spilling inside you. Everything is liquid heat. Your muscles contract and relax, your shoulders melting into the mattress. Everything feels hazy as Logan gently strokes your clit, thrusting in and out of you slowly, riding out your orgasms. 

He finally pulls out, wrapping his arms around your back and rolling you over so that you lay on top of his chest. He holds you close, his fingers trailing up and down your back. He kisses the crown of your head. “You okay?” He whispers into the silence of the room. 

“Yeah,” you answer, burying your face into his chest. “’M’perfect.”

He presses another kiss to the top of your head. “Wanted you for so long, princess,” he husks, his voice deep and raspy. 

“Wanted you, too, Lo,” you say, pressing a kiss to his chest. 

You can hear his heart beating; can hear every breath he takes. You can even hear the smile in his voice. “You have a terrible poker face, you know.”

You laugh softly, lifting your head from his chest. “I think it’s just fine, thank you very much.” He’s smiling down at you, his hair a mess, sweat still on his brow. He’s perfect. So fucking perfect. “And besides, you’re the one who suggested strip poker.”

He shakes his head, tugging you back down to his chest. “Should’ve played it sooner.” You can feel his chuckle reverberate through his lungs. “We can play again if you want…”“…but this time we skip the poker part.”

tags: @ilysmdovie12 @prettyseaveins @spiderset @figsnpassionfruits @silversprings-mp3 @movhoney @wittyjasontodd @theasiaabattoir @fanfic-writing-barbie @manipulatour @pedrohoe04 @derbygracie @honeyfewr

[anagentinwriting]

Lifeline - Part 10

Summary: (First Responders!AU) Moving to Los Angeles and living with your brother, Thor, was never part of your plan nor was being a 9-1-1 dispatcher, but plans change when you are faced with your own emergencies. In your case, it was leaving behind a relationship that wasn’t as perfect as it seemed. Will this be the fresh start you were hoping for or will your past find a way to catch up with you?

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Odinson!Sister Reader

Word Count: 3800+

Warnings: Angst, fluff, language

Lifeline Masterlist / Main Masterlist

Thor walked up to the gate to your condo to find a couple of guys installing a camera and a gate lock mechanism. “Hello, gentlemen. Who are you, and what are you doing to my sister’s gate?” Thor asked, crossing his arms across his chest. 

“Whoa, big guy.” The guy on the ladder held up his hands. “I’m Dave, and he’s Kurt. We’re from X-Con Security Consultants--” he pointed to his shirt with the name stitched on it “--and we’re installing a new security system update for Ms. Hill.”

“The lady asked for an installation, and we do it,” Kurt mentioned with a Russian accent.

“Huh, okay then, as you were, gentlemen.” He nodded, continuing through the gate and going to your front door. 

You were making a batch of your mom’s cookies when you heard an unexpected knock at the door. Setting down your cookie scoop, you wiped your hands clean to answer it. “Hey, Thor. Whatcha doing here? Thought you had a shift today.”

“I do, an overnight shift,” He pointed over his shoulder. “Why are their strange men at your front gate?”

“You’re one to talk, ladies man,” you scoffed, rolling your eyes. You turned away from the door, allowing him to come in as you returned to the kitchen. “If memory serves me right, you had plenty of strange women over at strange hours of the day.”

“Come on, they were my friends,” Thor reasoned, following you to your kitchen. “I love women, but you know, not in a creepy way.” 

“Fine, if you must know, I mentioned to Maria about updating the front gate’s security system with a code and buzzer mechanism, and she thought it was a good investment for the property. The other tenants thought it was a great idea, too, so we're all going to pitch in and help pay for the upgrades. Plus, it will help me sleep better at night.”

“Oh, so it’s an investment. It’s not because you almost hit Steve with the bat the other day.” You averted your eyes to the cookie dough bowl, chewing on your bottom lip.  “This is what I didn’t want to happen, YN. I knew you would move out, and you wouldn’t feel safe and…”

“I know, Thor,” you interrupted him, your eyes connecting with his. “But, it’s going to take time for me to adjust and feel safe. This new gate code system will just help me sleep better at night because I will know who is here before I let them in.”

Thor nodded, keeping a watchful eye on you. “I understand, but why didn’t you tell me Billy contacted you?”

“I can’t rely on you every time,” You sighed, shrugging your shoulders. “I have to learn how to fight my own battles again, and you have to be able to trust me.”

“I DO!” He raised his voice, making you flinch, then he immediately dropped his voice. “It’s Billy I don’t trust, and if he thinks he can hurt you, again, he’s got another thing coming.”

“I know, I know.” You shake your head, pinching the bridge of your nose. 

“I just want you to know you're not alone here. You have me, Nat, Carol, and everyone else at the station.” He reached out, giving your shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “You have improved so much since you arrived, and I don't want to see you revert back to your old ways. You have no idea how proud of you I am, and I trust you with whatever you decide to do. I want you to know I’m here for you.” You nodded with a small smile. “On another note, I’m glad you finally talked to someone about Billy.”

“You mean Steve.” You eyed him over, not missing the side grin appearing on his face. “Why did he tell you about what happened?” 

“He was worried about you and thought I should be aware of what occurred,” Thor replied, scratching his head. “When we work these long shifts together, we learn many things about each other; Stories are told, secrets are shared, and we learn to trust one another. Although he never did say why he stopped by that night?”

“He gave me a housewarming present.”

“Is that what they call it these days?” He winked with a carefree smile on his face. 

“Oh my god, STOP.” You felt your cheeks grow warm, throwing a ball of cookie dough at him. He caught it, chuckling and popped it in his mouth.

“You should see your face right now. All flushed and agitated.” He motioned to his face as you covered yours in your hands. “Your hands aren’t stopping that blush color coming through on your face. If I didn’t know any better, I would think you got a sun-burn, but let’s get to the real reason, you have a crush on Steve.”

You removed your hands from your face, staring him down. “Okay, sure…maybe I do. He’s a great guy with a caring personality but…but I’m not ready for a serious relationship.”

“Neither is he, that’s why you two are perfect for one another,” he grinned, making you shake your head. 

_____

Steve startled awake from something crashing to the floor in the communal kitchen. He sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes, and let out a long yawn. The last twelve hours have been a blur from the restaurant fire to a car accident to an ax-throwing competition. It felt like call after call came in with little to no recovery time in between. Steve glanced at his watch as he sat up and pulled on his boots. He sighed, realizing he only got about four hours of sleep, but lack of sleep comes with the territory. He ran his hands through his hair, walking into the kitchen, taking a seat at one of the stools by the island. 

“You’re up early,” Carol commented, sweeping up a broken dish.

“A crashing sound startled me awake,” he smirked, forcing her to roll her eyes.

Carol dumped the remnants of the ceramic dish in the garbage before grabbing two coffee mugs from the cabinet. She poured coffee into each of them and handed one to Steve. Steve nodded to her as a thank you and blew the steam off the top of the hot liquid. “Did you want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or oatmeal with some peanut butter to go with your coffee?”

“Excuse me?”

“Oh please, don’t act all innocent. I know you’re the one who’s been eating Sam’s peanut butter, not Bucky.” Carol narrowed her eyes at him, and he raised his hands in surrender.

“Guilty,” he smirked. “It’s so good, though, especially in oatmeal. I’m still surprised they haven’t figured it out yet.”

“Those two share a deep tolerable dislike for each other that even I can’t explain how it works. They get along but don’t get along, but somehow work really well together. It shouldn’t work, but it works. I don’t know; it still baffles me. I’m sure if you confessed, Sam would think you were only covering for Bucky anyways.” She shook her head, and Steve nodded his head in agreement. 

“I wouldn’t expect anything less from those two,” Steve chuckled, taking a sip of his coffee. 

“YN told you, didn’t she?”

“Told me what?”

“I might have overheard you and Thor talking about it, but she told you about Billy the douche?”

“Oh...um...yeah.” He shrugged. “I went to her house after she got a call from said douche, and she almost hit me with a bat.”

“Good,” Carol chirped as Steve snapped his head to her. “Well, not good she almost hit you, but good that he doesn’t have that control over her anymore.”

“I agree.” He stared down at the contents in his mug. “Billy sounds like a real piece of work.”

She hummed in agreement. “I know you’re a good guy, but I want you to know if you hurt her, I’ll kick your ass.”

“Oh, trust me, I would never hurt her like that, but I’m not ready for a relationship.” 

Carol smirked at his response, remembering you saying this whenever she tried to find you a new man. “What? Don't you like her?”

“No, no, it’s not like that at all. She’s…she’s great. It’s just…” Steve fumbled over his words.

“Oh, he hesitated,” Sam added, taking the stool next to Steve. Steve glanced at him, seeing a huge, gap-tooth smile on his face. “He’s into her.”

“It’s not that I’m not, it’s just that I have been through some things, and I know she has been through some things, very recently. I don’t want to push her if she’s not ready.”

“Well, you’re getting pushed into the friend zone, Steve,” Bucky added, taking the other stool next to him.

“Come on, don't say that...it's just...it's…”

“Called the friend zone,” Sam finished for Steve.

“Okay, fine, then why am I planning on hanging out with her later.”  

“Keyword is hangout as in not a date so…” Bucky dragged on.

“Friend zoned,” Sam and Bucky said in unison.

Steve shakes his head, letting out a big sigh. “You two are unbelievable, but at least you two finally agree on something.” Sam and Bucky both looked at each other with a slight shrug and nod. 

“Who are we speaking about,” Thor asked, patting Steve on the back.

“YN,” Carol smiled, forcing Steve’s eyes to meet hers.

“It’s not what you think. We were…”

“Steve wants to ask her out on a date,” Sam added, getting off the stool and walking over to the cabinet where his peanut butter was.

“Is that right? You--” he gestured to Steve with a slight smirk on his lips “--you want to date my sister.” Thor shook his head, letting out a soft chuckle, grabbing a mug from the cabinet and filling it up. “I like you, Steve, I do, and out of all these morons, I find you are the most suitable to date her. I think Loki may even approve of you, too, but he may be skeptical of you. He might even mock you upon meeting you, but he means well.”

“Thanks, but I wasn’t asking for your permission to do anything.”

“OOOOH, Thor, are you going to let him talk to you like that,” Sam hollered, pulling his peanut butter from the cabinet and unscrewing the lid.

“I didn’t mean it to come out like that.”

“Sure you didn’t,” Thor joked with a carefree smile. “Sure you didn’t,” he stated more seriously this time, eyeing Steve over, taking a sip of his coffee.

“GODDAMMIT, BUCKY! Why do you always eat my peanut butter? It wasn’t this empty the last time I opened it,” Sam shouted, giving Bucky a stern look as Carol shot Steve an all-knowing smirk.

_____

You stepped into Jabari Tribe Training Center, hearing the whirls of the jump ropes hitting the mats and the punches hitting the heavy bags. Everything in this gym was nerve-racking to you at first, but now it excited you. This gym was a little more run-down than most and could be unpleasant to some, but you found the dedicated atmosphere inspiring. 

You went to the locker room to get ready for your session, feeling your stomach tingling with nerves. Val had a last-minute schedule change at the station, so she wouldn’t be training you today; instead, she scheduled you with M’Baku, who in the ring was known as the Great Gorilla. You’ve watched him coach a few athletes, and he was intimidating. He stood tall and broad, and he’d always do his signature gorilla bark to get himself or his trainees fired up. He was a scary dude! Val knew your movements and boundaries, but this guy wouldn’t, and you weren’t sure how this session was going to go. 

You grabbed your boxing gloves and walked out to find M’Baku by the ring talking to one of his athletes. “Hey, M’Baku, I’m YN. Val mentioned you would be helping me with my session today.”

He looked at you with a stern glare and nodded to his trainee that they were finished. He looked back at you with a snarl on his lip before a smile broke out across his face. “Yes, you were told right. She told me about where you are, and I will say it’s impressive since you only started a few weeks ago.”

“Oh...um, thanks,” you smiled, feeling a warmth rush to your cheeks.

“Ready?” You nodded. “Okay, we will do some warm-up exercises, hit the heavy bag, ring work, stretch it out, and call it a day. Does that work for you?”

“Sounds great.”

“And if there is something you are not comfortable doing, or you don’t know what something is just ask. I won’t bite...hard.” He let out a deep chuckle, making you crack a smile.

“I will.”

“Let’s get started.”

It was a quick warm-up with some basic stretches, squats, jump ropes, and rowing. There were a few stretches you didn’t know what they were, and M’Baku showed you what to do and explained what muscles it was stretching. He couldn’t stress enough how stretching and warming up helped reduce injury and how it would improve your recovery time. M’Baku was knowledgeable, and you could tell he loved what he did.

Every time you worked on the heavy bag, it intimidated you because it was a constant mind game with yourself. You had to think about every punch you threw, making sure to hit it with your knuckles; otherwise, you could sprain your wrist, or worse, break it. You had to move around the bag with quick feet while throwing jabs, hooks, and uppercut punches. It wasn’t a natural feeling you had with the bag like many others did; this is why you preferred sparring in the ring.

You could feel his eyes watching you as you hit the bag with your straight and hook punches. The bag moved slightly as you switched positions and hit the bag from a different angle. 

“Okay, stop,” M’Baku called out, and you dropped your hands to your side. “I am not getting anything from you. You’re too quiet, stiff. Loosen up, girl, let out a grunt, roar, or better yet, bark. Do the…do the gorilla bark.” He raises his eyebrows at you, and you shake your head. 

“I’m not doing the gorilla bark,” you whizzed with your hands on your hips, taking deep breaths. He stared at you, narrowing his eyes before he started barking. “Still not doing it.” He stepped closer to you, barking louder as he walked circles around you. You rolled your eyes, taking a deep breath, and finally let out a bark.

His face broke into a smile, and he nodded. “Thata girl. Now get into it, have fun with it, don’t be so tense, loosen up, and jump around. I’ll demonstrate.” 

He takes his position at the bag, tapping it with his glove before doing a set of punches. It was almost like watching a dance. As it swayed, he would be quick and move and then attack with a series of different shots. He looked so relaxed that it didn’t even seem like he had to think about it. It was like second nature to him. 

“Alright, your turn,” He breathed, looking back at you.

You shake your head. “I got tired just watching you. You make it look so natural and easy.”

“It comes with practice, and it doesn’t help you're scared of the bag.” You nodded, giving him a half shrug. “Don’t be scared. Being scared only makes you feel weaker, so you won’t give it your all. Think of it like--” he paused, thinking “--taking a call at dispatch. If you’re afraid, you’ll overthink the situation and make a mistake. If you’re confident and think fast on your feet, it will lead to a better outcome. The more confident you are with yourself, the stronger you will become. Understand?”

“Yes,” you replied with a nod. “Thank you, I needed to hear that.”

Sparring in the ring was your favorite. It was the chance to learn how your opponent moved and how to throw a hard punch. With Val, you knew how she moved in the ring and could time when to throw a punch. With M’Baku, you didn’t know what to expect.

“We are not going to spare,” M’Baku stated as you both got into the ring. He had punching mitts on, and you had your boxing gloves on. “You’re not ready for this,” he chuckled, motioning to himself as you smirked in his direction. “We will do combo drills with your punching technique, watch your stance, and I'll give you a few pointers. I might even show you a few moves, so when you spare with Val again, she’ll wonder where you learned them.”

“I’m ready.”

You throw a few punches at his mitts. “You’re doing something wrong. Do you know what it is?”

 “Am I lifting my feet?” You heaved, wiping the sweat off your forehead. 

“So you do know,” he smirked, dropping his hands. 

“Val is always on me about that.”

“Do you know why she wants you to keep your feet planted?”

“It keeps me more grounded and gives me better balance. It also helps me hit my opponent harder. If I don’t plant my feet, I will be off-balance making me more vulnerable to my opponent's punches.”

“Good, yes. I’m glad my coaches are teaching their trainees.” He let out a deep chuckle. “Also, remember to breathe as you throw your punches. The worst thing you can do is forget to breathe.” You nodded.

After a few more rounds of drills and a lot of great advice from M’Baku, he ended the session.  You went to the side of the ring to get a drink of water. 

“YN, is there a reason you wanted to learn to box or did you wake up one morning and go, ‘I want to fight.’” He asked with curiosity in his eyes. 

You chuckled. “No, not really. I wanted to try something new for once instead of doing the same boring workouts. A friend of mine mentioned Val’s self-defense class, so I tried it out, and it was fun. Then, I asked her about boxing, I was sort of curious about it, and she offered to train me. Plus, it’s a good workout.”

“It is a great workout,” he chuckled. “Val is a wonderful coach and does a great job teaching that class. I’m glad you gave boxing a chance, and you like it so far.”

“It’s been fun,” you smiled with a nod. “And thanks for coaching me today.”

“Anytime,” he said, waving it off. 

M’Baku's other client showed up, so he told you what stretches to do to cool down and to drink plenty of water. Good hydration leads to better recovery. It was really different working out with M’Baku, but it was a good different. He came off as intimidating and cold, but he was the complete opposite. He was knowledgeable and helpful, and you couldn’t wait for your next session with Val to show her the moves he taught you. 

______

“Anyone have any exciting plans for the evening?” Thor asked, unloading the duffle bags from one of the hatches of the truck.

“Have a drink or two, and fall asleep on the couch,” Val stated, patting him on the back and walking over to restock the ambulance.

“Going to dinner with my girl,” Bucky winked with a smile on his face. 

“When are we finally going to get to meet this woman? I would like to have a conversation with her about what she sees in you.” Sam joked from the ambulance, earning an eye roll from Bucky.

“Why don’t you ask her yourself.” Bucky pointed to the door, forcing Sam to get out of the back of the ambulance and see Nat at the door.

“Good one, Bucky, but I’m being serious. When do we get to meet her,” Sam questioned, looking back at him. Bucky shook his head as Nat went over to Bucky and kissed him on the lips.

“Does that clear everything up, boys and girls? Bucky and I are dating.”

Steve smiled at them and got back to work reorganizing the hatches while Thor nodded, giving them a thumbs up.

“How...wait...when did this happen?” Sam narrowed his eyes at them.

“We have been dating for a couple of months now,” Bucky smiled down at Nat beside him.

“Way to go, Buck. Didn’t know you had it in you to handle her,” Val saluted him from the back of the ambulance.

“Nat, what the heck? I thought we shared a common enemy.”

“Sorry, Sam.” She shrugged with a tight smile. 

“And here I thought you two were going to keep it a secret,” Steve hinted. 

“Wait, you knew?”

“Yeah. It’s kind of old news these two.”

“Congratulations, but can everyone get back to work, so we can head home,” Carol redirected everyone, earning mumbled replies. 

______

You laid on the couch, turning a page in your book, when there was a buzzing sound at your front door, signaling someone was at the front gate for you. You got off the couch and looked at the new little monitor installed by the door to see Steve waving at the camera. You smiled, buzzing him in. You quickly glanced down at your worn-out t-shirt that had a few holes in it and decided to run up the stairs to find a sweater to cover it up. You were a hot mess, but you didn’t want to look like a hot mess. He knocked on the door as you came down the stairs to answer it.

“Hey, Steve! What's up?”

“I was in the neighborhood, and Thor told me about the security upgrade, so thought I'd check it out.”

“I didn't know you were into security systems,” you smirked, crossing your arms across your chest, leaning against the door frame.

“Oh yeah,” he huffed out, nodding his head. “I am very tech-savvy; whenever I don’t know something, I just Ask Jeeves.”

“Wait, Ask Jeeves?” You narrowed your eyes and burst out laughing. “That search engine with the Butler?” He nodded with a slight shrug, putting his hands in his front pockets. “That’s still around? Isn’t it ancient!”

“Is it?” He chuckled, his signature smirk tugging at his lips. “I’ve used it since high school, but I think the butler retired because it's called Ask now.”

You shook your head, laughing at his subtleness. You glanced over your shoulder at the blank tv screen and back at Steve, biting your lip. “I was actually gonna watch a movie if you wanted to join me.”

“Ahh--” he shifted back and forth on his heels “--yeah, sounds fun.” You nodded, opening the door and inviting him in.

____

Thanks for reading part 10! Looks like her and Steve are finally having a little date/hangout night?! Do you think Steve is getting friend zoned like Bucky and Sam suspect, or do you think he will finally make a move? Or will it be her? I thought it would be funny to throw in that old search engine, Ask Jeeves, some may remember it, some might not have any idea what it is. But I thought it would be a funny throwback and a joke about Steve's age! It's like using map quest and printing out directions instead of using the GPS these days! 😂😂 And what about Thor showing up and being the supportive brother after finding out what happened. He is definitely trying to be better, and he still has no problem teasing her a little bit! Haha! We also found out who the real peanut butter thief was, thanks to Carol for being the observant one! Haha! And isn’t M’Baku the best!! Anyways, comments, likes, and reblogs always welcome. Thanks again! 

[supernovanim]

Mutual Abduction Part 1

Right, I’m still unemployed and am therefore trying to do inexpensive things (libraries are great!). But I’ve finished my quarantine so can now go outside.

Many apologies to Kurt Vonnegut on this one, as the concept is totally stolen from something that happens in Slaughterhouse Five. If you haven’t read it, I’d highly recommend.

Anyway, I was rereading it recently and then had a weird dream which led to this. It’s a bit unusual so let me know what you think in the comments. There are references to famous AI computers, because I’m such a nerd.

Summary: you get abducted by aliens

Pairing: Female Reader x Dylan O’Brien

Warnings: Totally justified brief panic attack, swearing, abduction and imprisonment (non-violent). There is no smut in this part but you can see where it’s heading.

Word count: 1,443

Taglist: @hernameisnoellex3​

One minute you were lying on your bed, looking up at a crack in the ceiling and wondering if it was new or you were just now noticing it, and the next you were standing in an unfamiliar room.

Your whole body tingled, like it was charged with static. You suppressed a shudder. What the hell?

Looking down, you saw you were still wearing the same clothes as a minute ago (comfy jeans and a tank top), but a band had appeared on your wrist with some writing on it:

HUMAN FEMALE: EARTH INHABITANT

What the fuck?! This was really odd. You shook your head to try and clear it, and closed your eyes taking a deep breath. When you opened them the wristband was still there, and you still weren’t in your own house. You were beginning to doubt if you were still on your own planet. You took another breath, trying desperately not to completely panic.

The room you were in was sterile and white, with soft light that seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere at the same time. There was a black leather sofa facing what looked like a large built-in flatscreen. There was a giant and very soft-looking bed with pale green sheets, a table with a couple of chairs and a sideboard that looked very like one your grandmother had. It looked out of place here. To be honest, all the furniture did, like a landlord had furnished it with the bare minimum someone might need and no more. None of it matched the futuristic feel of the rest of the room.

The white floor was slightly warm under your bare feet, and was soft – it felt a bit like silicone. Looking up you noticed the ceiling…or lack of ceiling. It was completely clear like glass. Through it you could see darkness with vaguely moving shapes in it, and…were those stars? Your heart started thudding loudly in your chest, and breathing felt difficult. Right, now you were going to panic.

Just as you felt the panic attack start to take over, a robotic voice sounded into the room

Human female Y/N Do not panic Please count to 10 with me 1…2…3…4

Despite your surprise, you found yourself starting to count and your breathing slowed. Realising you’d ended up sitting on the floor, you stood and looked around for the source of the voice. It seemed to be coming from a blinking red light on the wall, set into a black aperture.

Human female Y/N You have been selected for study Do not be afraid

“Right, well it’s pretty hard to not be fucking afraid when you fucking abduct me” you spat out.

We do not like the word abduction We prefer…selection

“Ok, well why have you selected me? And what do you want? And are you going to send me back home at some point? Preferably right now”

You have attributes we would like to study You have been selected for us to monitor the mating habits of humans Once you have mated you will be transported back to Earth

“Wait a minute – MATED?! This is some weird human breeding program? Am I in a zoo? Are you going to get me pregnant and study my children? Because I’m totally not down with that. Or the mating. I might not have had sex in 6 months but I’m not that desperate”

We are only studying mating habits, not reproduction You would get to choose your mate

“I still don’t get it. You seem really technologically advanced to have transported me to wherever the hell this is. Why not just observe humans mating on Earth? We do it a lot. I could recommend some bars to monitor. You probably wouldn’t even need to wear a disguise in most of them.”

There are too many variables on Earth It is confusing We require subjects in a neutral environment to study and question

“Still not sure I want to be your test subject here. Sounds suspicious. And what did you mean by getting to choose my mate?”

You could choose from any man or woman on Earth This way we know you will be…compatible

“What if they’re not attracted to me, hey? I mean there’s definitely some reason I haven’t had sex in 6 months”

We have chosen you for your universal attractiveness Before your mate is transported we will scan them, to make sure of compatibility

“Scan? Not some kind of weird probe thing? I’ve heard you aliens are into that”

A brain scan They won’t sense anything If you are not compatible we will ask you to select someone different

“Right, and once I mate with them you’d send us both back to Earth?”

Yes

“I’m still not sure about this. Give me a bit of time to think about it”

If you do not choose a mate you will remain here indefinitely

Well that was certainly an incentive. And being able to choose from anyone on Earth was…tempting. It had been 6 months ok? You’d almost resorted to visiting one of those dodgy bars.

“While I think about it, are you going to feed me in this place? I haven’t had anything since lunch and I’m starving” you sighed, resigned to having to stay here a while.

Certainly Here is some Earth food

On the small table materialised a plate with what smelt like your favourite meal. It was fascinating – one minute there was nothing there and then next small blue lights appeared and then boom – food. Cheeseburger, fries, side salad in a vague attempt to be healthy. And was that a milkshake? Yum.

Not even stopping to think about whether it could be laced with some kind of mind-control drug, you sat down gobbled it up ravenously. This whole alien abduction thing had made you very hungry, and it certainly tasted like a normal burger.

“Hey HAL”

Yes, human female Y/N

“Is there a bathroom somewhere? I mean you must know how humans work, right? Food goes in one end and…”

A human bathroom has been provided Through the door

There was a door?! How had you not noticed that? But there it was, sitting innocuously in the far wall that you swear had been a blank expanse of white a minute ago.

Through it you found what seemed like a totally normal bathroom. Toilet, sink, even a shower and separate bath. It was nicer than your one back on Earth. You noticed that the ceiling here wasn’t clear like the main room – did that mean they weren’t observing you? Nice to have a bit of privacy somewhere.

You washed up and decided to have a bath – you didn’t have one at home and couldn’t pass up the opportunity. Besides, maybe a relaxing soak would make you feel more normal.

“Hey GLaDOS, any chance of some bath oil?”

You may ask for anything you wish, human female Y/N

And some bath oil appeared beside you. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all you thought, as you lowered yourself into the hot water.

You were so tired after your meal and soak, you barely registered the lights go off as you passed out in the middle of the bed. It was just as soft as it looked.

___

You had no way of telling the time as it was still dark above the ceiling, but you thought it must be morning when the lights in the room slowly returned to brightness

Good morning human female Y/N

“Morning Deep Thought” you yawned “any chance of a coffee and a muffin?”

Certainly

And just like that they materialised on the table. You could definitely get used to the instant room service here.

Once you’d eaten you checked the room for any more doors, just in case a miraculous escape hatch had materialised overnight. No joy.

Human female Y/N Have you decided on a mate?

“It can be anyone, right?” you questioned slowly

Yes As long as they are compatible

“Ok in that case I’d like Dylan O’Brien” you rushed out, before you changed your mind

Dylan O’Brien the actor or Dylan O’Brien the long-distance truck driver?

“Jesus, the actor you idiot”

Ok Scanning for compatibility… Compatibility confirmed Transporting

“Wait, shit – really?” you spurted out in disbelief

But before you had a chance to change your mind the blue lights started to appear in the middle of the room, taking the shape of a man.

And just like that a very confused looking Dylan O’Brien was standing in front of you, wearing grey sweatpants and a blue t-shirt. He looked at you.

“What. The. Fuck”

[comicsbeat]

  It’s been a little minute since we saw the launch of a while new comics company but it looks like the tea leaves are saying go. Ahoy Comics is a new venture fronted by four people: Publisher Hart Seely, an award-winning reporter whose humor and satire has appeared in The New York Times and on National Public Radio; two founding editors of DC Comics’ Vertigo imprint, Tom Peyer and Stuart Moore; and Chief Creative Officer Frank Cammuso.

The line is debuting with four titles, all mini series, and a format they are calling “comic book magazines” – now before you jump up with alarm, this refers not to size – the trim is comics sized – but the contents, which will feature lead stories and back matter, all at a cover price of $3.99 for 40 pages.

So those of you saying we need more bang for you buck, look no further. Ahoy there, satisfying chunk.

“It’s time to expect more from comics,” said AHOY Comics Editor-in-Chief Peyer. “AHOY Comics offers a wide breadth of contributors from the worlds of mainstream and indie comics and humor magazines. We’re publishing comic book magazines with full length stories, backup stories, one-off gags by a bestselling New Yorker cartoonist, political poetry by a regular Poltico contributor, and prose stories by Grant Morrison, Cienna Madrid and a sundry of talent. And I don’t want it to sound too serious, because these comic book magazines are both fun and funny. It really is a unique reading experience.”

“There is no house style at AHOY Comics, but one of the things we aim to do is to bring a sense of humor to the comics,” said AHOY Comics “Dark Ops” Manager and Captain Ginger co-creator Stuart Moore. “We’re publishing stories with a strong personal vision that provoke an occasional laugh. You know, like Preacher. Or, more recently, comics written by Mark Russell, whose sensibilities are a great match for ours. It’s a dark humor, we admit.”

“AHOY Comics offers an abundance of originality and offbeat humor,” said Hart Seely. “Some might say that launching a publishing initiative in this moment is folly. We disagree! We’re publishing comic magazines with high standards. Each issue features beautiful designs, vibrant art, exceptional colors, experienced editors and dynamic stories. We aren’t planning on being an overnight success. We’re not here to exploit IP or make movies. We’re here to publish stories for people who love comics and who love to read.”

Talent involved in the first titles includes Peyer (Hourman) and Moore (Deadpool the Duck), Jamal Igle (Black), Mark Russell (Flintstones),  and Ann Nocenti (The Seeds) and  extra material, including prose fiction by writer Grant Morrison (Happy!), cartoons by Shannon Wheeler (God is Disappointed In You), poems by Hart Seely (Bard of the Deal: The Poetry of Donald Trump), and traditional comic book back up stories.

Upcoming AHOY Comics will feature stories by Gary Erskine, Ryan Kelly, Mariah McCourt, Linda Medley, Peter Milligan, Dean Motter, Ann Nocenti, Rachel Pollack, Roger Stern and others.

The line debuts in September and here’s the deets. Spoiler: Captain Ginger.

THE WRONG EARTH 6 Issue mini-series by Tom Peyer and Jamal Igle

AHOY Comics launches with a biting superhero satire written by Tom Peyer (Captain Kid, Hourman), penciled by Jamal Igle (Black, Supergirl), inked by Juan Castro (Transformers),and colored by Andy Troy. On one world, Dragonflyman and his sidekick Stinger enjoy a life of adventure. On another Earth, the Dragonfly hunts criminal parasites like a lethal exterminator. But what happens when these two heroes change places?

 “I just want you to know that I’ve loved Tom Peyer’s genius brain for thirty years and THE WRONG EARTH is just pure, undiluted Tom Peyer as it exists in its most natural form. If you love superheroes, you NEED this. If you HATE superheroes, this will change your mind.”―Mark Millar

“I knew this was going to be good when I saw Peyer and Igle on the credits, but now I really want to see how it all plays out.”―Jeff Parker

“THE WRONG EARTH is far more than a one-note gag–Tom and Jamal have made a surprisingly deep exploration and commentary on where this medium has been, how it got to where it is, and where it can go.”―Mark Waid

 On sale on September 12, 2018, THE WRONG EARTH debut issue is a full color, 40 page comic book magazine retailing for $3.99, with extras including:

A  prose story by comics legend Grant Morrison: ‘HUD’ HORNET’S HOLIDAY IN HELL, illustrated by best-selling artist Rob Steen

A mock “Golden Age” Stinger solo story, by Paul Constant and Frank Cammuso

A cartoon by Shannon Wheeler

Chronic malcontent David Weathers dies and goes to Heaven—where everything is terrible, and everybody hates a complainer. HIGH HEAVEN is a savage satire by writer Tom Peyer (Hourman, Batman ’66) with art by Greg Scott (Black Hood, X-Files), colored by Andy Troy.

 “Delivered with that Tom Peyer panache and his sneaky habit of undercutting reader expectations at every turn. And gorgeous art by Greg Scott, giving it all personality and (seedy) visuals. I’m hooked.”―Kurt Busiek

 “HIGH HEAVEN has a great premise. I loved it and can’t wait to see where it goes next. Also: the Hashtag: Danger back-up was a riot. Chris Giarrusso is just the best!”―John Layman

 “As gorgeous as it is absurd.”―Alisa Kwitney

 On sale, September 26, 2018, HIGH HEAVEN’s debut issue is a full color, 40 page comic book magazine retailing for $3.99, with a cover by Mad Magazine’s Richard Williams and extras including:

A HASHTAG: DANGER backup story by Peyer, with art by Chris Giarrusso (G-Man, Mini-Marvels)

A cartoon by Shannon Wheeler

An all-new prose story by comics legend Grant Morrison: FESTIVE FUNTIMES AT THE NEW WORLD’S FAIR, illustrated by acclaimed artist Rick Geary

  In October, AHOY Comics will launch a creator owned title:

CAPTAIN GINGER 4 issue mini series by Stuart Moore and June Brigman

When the human race died out, the cats inherited the Earth! Or at least one starship. Now the intrepid Captain Ginger struggles to keep his fellow felines united against a hostile universe. Thirty-five pages of comic adventure—with a bite—by writer Stuart Moore (Deadpool the Duck, Batman: Noir Alley) artist June Brigman (Power Pack), inker Roy Richardson and colorist Veronica Gandini.

 “The best books usually transport me into a world with which I am largely unfamiliar and reveal its mysteries to me, whether it’s the mean streets of a great urban metroplex, a small village lying somewhere on a distant steppe in central Asia, or a starship full of individualist cats trying to keep it together long enough to survive…these may very well be the characters that June was born to draw and Stuart was born to write!” ― Walter Simonson

 “This is a great start to a great book by Stuart and June. The Captain and his misbegotten cat crew can count me along for the long haul!” ― Peter Gross

 “This comic book is INSANE, in the best possible way when one describes something as “insane”! I can’t say I got too excited when I first heard the concept, “Cats in Space”, but Stuart Moore and June Brigman have got it goin’ on! CAPTAIN GINGER rocks!  It’s solid sci-fi adventure, beautifully illustrated and electric with wonderful diverse characters, who are CATS (?!)! This “puppy” smells like a sleeper hit (but that could just be the space kitty litter)!” ― Mike Allred

On sale, October 17, 2018, CAPTAIN GINGER’s debut issue is a full color, 48 page comic book magazine retailing for $3.99, with extras including:

An all-new text story by comics legend Grant Morrison: THE ELECTRIC SKY BEAR THAT INSPIRED BEN FRANKLIN, illustrated by Phil Hester

A cartoon by Shannon Wheeler

October will also see the debut of an all star anthology series:

EDGAR ALLAN POE’S SNIFTER OF TERROR 6 issue Mature Readers mini series

EDGAR ALLAN POE mangles classic tales and brand new stories in this cross between Drunk History and Tales from the Crypt! First, meet AHOY’s own alcohol-damaged version of Poe in The Facts in The Case of M. Valdemar, adapted by Tom Peyer (Batman ‘66) and drawn by Fred Harper. Then: Sugary cereal meets vampirism in Dark Chocolate, by writer Mark Russell (The Flintstones) and artist Peter Snejbjerg (Starman).

On sale, October 31, 2018, EDGAR ALLAN POE’S SNIFTER OF TERROR’s debut issue is a full color, 40 page comic book magazine retailing for $3.99, with extras including:

Hunt Emerson’s take on The Black Cat

Unsettling verse by Cienna Madrid illustrated by Carly Wright

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  AHOY Comics: a new publisher is coming with bigger issues, poetry and Grant Morrison – all for $3.99 It's been a little minute since we saw the launch of a while new comics company but it looks like the tea leaves are saying go.