#kuras wc

[killugonficlibrary]

No, I Don't Accept Your Stupid Rose by nosewise ( T | 55,840 | 25/25 )

It's season 15 of The One, and Gon Freecs might just be the worst bachelor they've ever had on the show, but it's not his fault, okay? Not when the cameraman looks like That.

Gon is about to make incredible reality TV, just not in the way he expected.

[facefullofsadness]

Can I request sub!Sakura x soft!dom!reader? Basically fluff smut (-_-")

sakura unnie being just the submissive bby girl she truly is 🥰

content - loser gamer!sakura (bc she literally is just a loser who happens to be an idol u can't change my mind), smut (cunnilingus, corruption kink kinda but not really inflicted, reader is a lil intoxicated), fluff (I guess? like kinda?)

wc - 2148 (might've gotten carried away...)

sakura is a sensitive girlie.

and this doesn't just apply to in bed but in real life too. when you first met her, she was so shy and jumpy. seeing her at a pc café with the cat ear headphones she brought from home, wearing glasses, gray sweatpants, and a graphic tee way too oversized for her small body.

going up to her because u recognized her from your biochem class, asking if she did the homework yet.

"oh uh, hi, you know my name? uhm, sorry I'm a mess. wait a second, sorry," kura would stumble over her words, balancing her focus between the pretty girl talking to her and the intense league match she had going on.

sigh, how fucking adorable.

the way you grazed her shoulder with the tips of your fingers as you *intently* watched as she tried not to feed the enemy team (failing by the way). your focus was more on the way sakura's body tensed at the gentle contact.

it flicked a switch in your brain watching her bite down hard on her lip, trying so hard not to break in front of you. this only whirred you on, needing to see her desperate. and so you made it your goal to make this girl yours, in every way.

wooing her (easily bc pretty girl) into becoming your girlfriend, making her feel so loved and special, making her feel like you were the only person in the world for her. yes of course you loved her truly, but the switch that was on in your head always shone a light so bright that reminded you of how obsessed you were with the submissive aspects of this girl.

starting tame in your relationship, holding hands, cupping her cheeks and rubbing your thumbs against them, planting soft and gentle kisses on her, giving her sweet cuddles. it would eventually progress into brushing fingers against her sensitive waist, hearing as kura would release shaky breaths at the contact, deep and passionate makeout sessions where she would be breathless and sweaty under you, kissing and leaving dark marks on her neck and across her chest which would have her whining, trying to push you away because god how embarrassing it felt to be so small against you.

seeing her face so flushed pink and eyes dazed after an intimate moment drove you insane. you absolutely just needed to see more. and so when the first time you guys had sex, you had to remind yourself not to take it too far. after all, she's still your lovely sweet loser girlfriend who wouldn't hurt a fly (mostly because she's probably too scared of it).

and by sex, I mean eating out your precious girlfriend while she was gaming. you had gotten a little tipsy that night, drinking by yourself in the living room, dragging your body into kura's bedroom where she was focused in on a match of overwatch. too buzzed to act interested in her game, you pull yourself onto her lap and nestled your face into her neck.

you smiled against her skin as you felt the girl's breath hitch at the sudden gesture, your hot breath hitting her sensitive spot.

"y/n baby, I'm k-kinda busy right n-now..." she'd stutter, losing focus.

you shush her, planting wet kisses against her jaw and neck, "keep playing kura, don't worry about me. just focus."

the cogs in your brain speed and your heartbeat races with the corruptive thoughts running through your head. you feel yourself heat up at the need to feel her fall apart against you, shaking in your hold. hearing her shaky voice make callouts to her teammates over comms, your greedy hands brushing her sides and trailing her abdomen, mouth leaving wet spots across her exposed collarbone.

you moan against her skin, her body so tense when you touch her, exciting you more than you think is possible. though you wanted to be patient and gentle with her when it comes to intimate moments like this, in your drunken state, it was hard to think straight. and so it slips your mind when your hands trail up to cusp her tits, thumbs rubbing her hard nipples in circles.

your brain short circuits when you hear her whimper right against your ear, kissing her on the cheek and grinding down against her core. you push one of the headphone muffs back, whispering in her ear.

"do you like that baby, like when I touch your naughty little body like this? like when I grind against your aching pussy like that?" you rasp breathily, biting the lobe of her ear and chuckling lowly.

one of her hands fly off of the keyboard and quickly mute her mic, bringing her hand to tangle her fingers with your hair.

"ahhh fuck, y/n-ie, I'm.. that feels so.. ahh," sakura can't contain the moans slipping out of her mouth easily as your grinding continues and your fingers pinch at her hardened buds.

you pull your face away from her heaving chest and bring your lips to grace her own lips, "baby, why'd you stop playing? be a good girl and win for me."

how evil, sakura must be thinking in that little head of hers, clouded with lust.

she whines needily against your lips and you kiss her sweetly in response, "c'mon baby, I'll reward you if you listen to me."

and so she gulps and nods, leaning forward against you before unmuting and returning back to the game. hm, how easy it is to control you my love, you think sinisterly.

pulling ur hands away and getting off of her, looking up at her darting eyes, full of nervousness and excitement, you smirk at the sight. you bring your hands up to the waistband of her sweats, untying the knot and slowly pulling them down.

your eyebrows raise when you see how dark her panties have gotten, wet and practically soaked with arousal.

"you DO like this baby, don't you? looks like a little too much, what do you think?" you bite your lip as you drag a single finger across the whole length of her slit, feeling how damp her underwear truly is.

she whimpers uncontrollably above you, clamping her eyes shut and throwing her head back against the headrest, trying so hard to hold back. you just know her hands are gripped tightly into fists as you press your thumb firmly against her clit through the cloth.

"guys please, we're so close," sakura begs her teammates to wrap up the game, almost a double entendre to your ears.

you look up at her sweetly and innocently, "or take your time my love, I can wait."

she peers down to look at you and frowns, eyes welling up and face scrunched with pleasure. aww, my poor baby, she wants you to stop teasing so bad and just let her fucking cum.

you hook your fingers around her panties and pull them down to pool at her ankles with her sweatpants. you pull her to the edge of her gamer chair by her thighs, your strong grip pushing apart her legs.

"you'll get what you need so bad when you win," god you're so mean :(((

she's aching so bad, the way you can physically see her hole clench around nothing, just by your words and the sheer amount of arousal that courses through her. you can't just let her go untouched, so when you throw her panties and sweats off of her ankles and to the side, lifting her legs to rest on top of your shoulders, hearing her squeal at the movement, and hotly breathe out onto her core, you go dizzy. you swear you're probably much more fucking soaked in your underwear than she is by how turned on you were by the effects you had on her.

none of that mattered right now though, all that did matter and the only thing you focused on was sakura. your precious sakura and her leaking hole. you couldn't resist anymore, diving in and sucking her entrance directly, using your tongue to lap at all the juices that she produced messily all over her pussy.

"fuck y/n!" she moaned, not caring about the game and throwing an arm over her face, hiding behind it.

"shhh, play," you'd mumble against her, flicking your wet muscle on her bundle of nerves.

"I-I can't baby..." kura whined, hearing her start to sob.

no no, couldn't have your baby suffer now could you?

"you can do it, go kura, make me proud," you'd caress her legs sweetly, moving away from her center and kissing her trembling thighs.

"we.. I'm almost, d-done," she shakily said.

at that moment, you heard cheering explode from her headphones, sakura throwing them off and muting her mic.

her hands would fly to gripping one of your hands around her thighs and your hair, "y/n, please please please, god please it hurts so bad."

looking up at her pained and desperate expression, you smiled again, "don't worry, I'll give you your reward my good girl."

diving in greedily finally, thrusting your tongue into her hole, making the most graphic wet noises from your needy mouth and her leaking pussy. the girl above you uncontrollably moaning out your name, gripping your hand and hair tightly, it hurt.

it didn't matter to you as the juice on your tongue was so delicious, the whines filling your ears sounded like music, and the body you held was trembling with pleasure. you closed your eyes as you dug your wet muscle into her and brushed your nose against her clit.

"baby ahh! fuck fuck fuck, yes yes, please don't stop, please god, it feels sosososo good y/n, I beg you, your mouth is insane," sakura would ramble mindlessly.

you listened, being crazily pussy drunk, not being able to breathe but not caring, borderline deep throating her pussy with how deep you dug your face into her. being so horny yourself, grinding against the air and panting into her. your fingers gripped painfully against her thighs, forgetting your entire plan to treat her caringly.

not that sakura seemed to mind, her head was thrown back and mouth hung wide open, eyes rolled back and screaming out profanities with your name. her hand in your hair pushed you deeper into her, grinding her hips desperately against you.

you loosened your grip slightly to let her fuck your face. you wanted to see her lose control because of you badly, so you opened your eyes to look up at her, and you swear you could cum on the spot just by how sinful the sight was. you moaned deeply into her pussy, the vibrations making sakura go insane, her body started to thrash and jolt, humping your face even more.

you slurped hungrily at her, losing any thoughts of technique and simply eating her out how you needed to. after all, kura doesn't care and grinds against your face rabidly, everything feels too fucking good to think.

"CUMMING, CUMMING!" she'd scream out, grip on you tightening even more.

"cum for me," you try mumbling as much as you could, airways practically blocked with her pussy.

sakura's body convulses, shaking with a screaming orgasm, juices squirting from her and drenching your face, chest, and clothes. you almost drown at the contact, but drink all the arousal that escapes.

her body stops violently jolting, only jerking every now and then from the aftershocks of the mindblowing climax she just came from. you release your tight grip as she does also, caressing her thighs softly, and kissing all over her sensitive core and legs. poor baby is completely gone, dazed and exhausted. you pull away from her pussy but make your way up to her face, never fully ripping away from her.

cupping her face and looking at her spent figure. chest raising and falling, mouth open, drool leaking out, cheeks stained with tears, body limp, thighs marked red, neck littered with hickies, her eyes half-lidded, and mumbling.

"y/n-ie, I'm can't," you giggle at how fucked out she is.

the throbbing at your core hurts honestly, but you ignore it, carrying your baby girl off of the chair and onto her bed. your clothes were soaked with her juices, looking back at her desk and seeing remnants of it there too. you'd clean it later, what matters is taking care of your girlfriend now.

"you did so well baby, you can rest," you'd whisper comfortingly in her ear, kissing her lips softly.

"do you want me to get you water? I can run the bath for you?" you offer, rubbing your hands sweetly over her red thighs.

"no, need you here," she'd say, pulling you into a cuddle, passing out on the spot.

you smile and place a peck on sakura's forehead, "okay."

need her so bad...

[luvyeni]

late night talk in bff heeseung’s car which turns into an innocent but steamy car sex

BACKSEAT LOVIN ; LEE HEESEUNG

pairings. bff!heeseung x fem!reader

wc. 1k+

warnings. car sex , dry humping , unprotected sex , boob sucking, dirty talk, nicknames ,

i hope you like it <3

your bestfriend invites you on a late night drive to your favorite spot

—

"he did not." heeseung interrupted your story about about the horrible date you've been on , you guys recently moved to different colleges , so you haven't had the time to spend together. "i swear on my life heeseung , he straight up kicked my baby , my dog off the bed , and then tried to stick his gross tongue down my throat." you both gagged at the visual image. "i was more so offened at the fact he kicked my baby off the bed , like have you lost your mind." you scoffed taking a sip of your soda.

"how could he treat poor kura like that?" he loved your dog , he really did, but he was more upset at the fact that the boy tried to kiss you. "he wasn't even that cute , so as soon as he left , i blocked his number." he was glad , he didn't want you around any guy like that — or any guy for that matter. "good , you don't need to be around guys like that." that made your heart flutter just a bit , but you shook it off.

you coughed , moving on. "so what about you?" you tilted your head to the side. "have you been bringing pretty girls up to our spot ?" you took another sip of your soda , teasingly wiggling your eyebrows , making him whine. "you know i haven't , this is our spot , i would never bring anyone but you." you looked down trying not to smile. "but no there hasn't been anyone up here , or anyone at all for that matter."

heeseung was only interested in one girl , at that's the one who's legs were currently draped across his lap , you. ever since you guys started spending less and less time together , he found himself missimg you more and more — more than he should miss his bestfriend, and being in this car with you tonight confirmed that he definitely didn't see you as just bestfriends anymore.

"why none at all?" you questioned , of course you didn't want him to bring other girls or date any for that matter , but you had to keep the conversation going. "i'm just not intrested in them." he decided he was just gonna go for it , rubbing your calves , automatically catching your breathing starting to get heavier. "r-really?" you questioned , his hands were getting higher and higher.

"yeah." his eyes flickering down to your lips. "y/n?" he did not take his eyes off your lips , desperate to kiss you. "yes seungie." your heart was about to fall into your ass. "can i please kiss you?" his voice was low , like he would die if he didn't get to taste your lips. "please." he didn't wait anymore , pressing his soft lips against yours , they felt better than what ever you imagined.

his hand was placed under your thigh , dangerously close to your ass. both of your lips moving together like silk on skin. the little noises coming from your mouth , making his cock harden , straining against his slacks , you could fell it against your legs. he pulled away , breathless but still wanting more , he was addicted.

"what are you doing to me?" he whispered , kissing your neck , leaving little marks. "h-heeseung , please i need you." you mewled , grabbing one of his hands , placing it on your boobs. he squeezed your boob , massaging it through your top. "so soft baby." he pulled away once again. "take your top off." you reached below , grabbing the end of the shirt , pulling it over your head , throwing it somewhere. he reached around , undoing your bra , your nipples hardening due to the air.

"such pretty tits." he brought his mouth to your nipples , engulfing your boobs. "oh my- hee." you mewled softly , running your fingers through his hair. he opened your legs , slotting himself in between them , grinding his hips against yours , groaning at the sensation — you matched his movements , grinding your hips. "it feels so good." you moaned , the sensation making your brain fuzzy.

"seungie , im gonna cum." he finally detached his mouth from your nipples. "yeah , gonna cum for me?" you nodded , he smiled at your swollen lips , from biting down on them. "cum for me pretty girl." you wrapped your legs around his waist , cumming. "oh sh-shit." you breathed. "that felt so good." he sat up , about to hand you your shirt , when you climbed into his lap.

"oh no , you do-" you shut him up with a kiss. "i want your cock inside me." you whispered in his ear , biting his lobe as you pulled at his pants button. "i-i don't have a condom." he stuttered , you pulled his cock out , stroking it. "i don't care , i want you inside me." you let a glob of spit fall from your mouth , using it as lube. "sh-shit , hurry and sit on my cock before i cum." he threw his head back as you moved your panties to the side , lining his cock up with your cunt , sinking down on him.

"oh-oh fuck , your so fucking tight." he groaned. "so big." you fully sat down on him , holding on to the hair behind his head. "such a good girl , taking all of my fat cock." he groaned , holding your hips , helping you move your hips back and forth. "come on , bounce on my cock." he slapped your ass.

you were glad that no one came up here , because the way you both were loudy moaning , and the fact the car was slowly rocking , anybody could tell what was going on , but neither of you cared , the only this you guys were worried about was cumming. "fuck princess , you keep clenching around my cock , gonna cum." he moaned. "m-me too."

he pinched your nipples , rolling them around in his fingers. "that feel good?" you nodded. "you gonna cream my cock like a good girl." you nodded dipping your head in between his shoulders , sucking on his neck. "cum for me pretty girl." you moaned against his neck , cumming around his cock.

"fuck , baby you gotta get up , im gonna cum." you shook your head no. "if you don't im gonna cum." he tried to hold off. "want it inside." he almost came there. "fu-fuck , are you sure?" you nodded. "please cum inside me." he groaned , thrusting up into you a few times , before cumming inside your hole. "so full." you sighed , letting him finish. "you feeling full princess?" you nodded.

you both stayed like that for a while , just soaking in each other's company , talking about random things , giggling while giving each other little random kisses.

"i want to see you all the time." he intertwined your hands. "my apartment isn't that far from your college , how about you move out of your dorm and move in with me." he said. "really? that's a big commitment hee." you said , but he didn't care. "i want to be with you , i want to spend mornings with you before we have to get ready for school , and i want to see you when i get home from a stressful day." you kissed his lips , smiling against his. "let's do it." he smiled , his cock twitching inside you once again.

"did confessing your love for me , and asking me to move in before you even ask me on date turn you on." he trusted up into you , rendering you speechless.

"i'll take you on a date tomorrow , right now i want to fill you with my cum again."

©️LUVYENI

[tragedy-of-commons]

kuras x reader. wc ≤ 1k.

You could kill him right now.

That thought to most, including the subject of your gaze, is no doubt concerning. However, around these parts, the modus operandi of every drunkard, street performer, Bloodhound or Monster is a resounding kill or be killed. 

The fabled Dr. Kuras of Lowtown doesn’t snore. What else would you expect? The pinnacle of propriety, the man mounted upon his high horse (that still stoops low enough to extend a helping hand), the magnanimous genius at rest. Thick eyelashes graze the apples of his cheeks, broad shoulders normally drawn taut now lowered with the rise and fall of his chest.

Your second thought cuts through all rationality: He shouldn’t be that pretty.

…well, you suppose that’s not all that irrational. Being easy on the eyes around these parts can be disarming; it can earn you a place to stay for the night, salacious stares, and most importantly, a favorable perception among shallow people. For you, Kuras falls in the middle. His character doesn’t disarm you, it instead makes your hackles raise - but just enough to prevent you from gutting him.

Such a stupid predicament. 

It isn’t like him to not be on his feet. He’s always ushering patients in and out, acting only mildly offended when offered payment, before conducting his own personal business. This is alluded to by noncommittal anecdotes or pure, direct confrontation if you catch him in the act.

(Nothing incriminating, of course; Kuras is not a criminal. People-watching, conversation with an odd acquaintance here or there, playing coy with Senobium alumni that still beg for his insight. All legal and a far-cry from what he thinks is wrong.)

Everyone seems to be in majority agreement that Dr. Kuras must be good. There will always be distrusting, twice-shy folks like you, but he’s practically the legs that the injured and ill stand on so confidently. He’s inclined to prove all of his detractors wrong while still keeping them at arm's length. 

Having said that, what the hell is going on?

Napping in one of his chairs, slumped against the backrest with you visiting, is not arm’s length behavior. It’s too close, too trusting, and it makes you sick. And not in the way that can be remedied, either! 

You could kill him right now, but you won’t. The stubborn part of you reasons that it’s broad daylight outside, anyone could come knocking - but your mature counterpart singsongs that it’s because you have a huge, hulking crush! What a childish word used to downplay your cautious intrigue--

Kuras stirs. Right.

You’re not sure what his motivations were, inviting you back here. Running into one another at a grubby food vendor, your first instinct was to book it - but of course he’d seen you and called out your name with a warm timbre to his voice, parting the crowd with his presence alone. Never let it be said that you didn’t try to deny Dr. Kuras.

But he’d said something about wanting you to test some kind of new treatment. You’re an interesting patient, plus you’d do quite well for such short notice. I’d appreciate it greatly.

Then you were following him back on familiar cobbles, shadowed by his almost Herculean height. The new treatment wasn’t anything to write home about - ointment, experimental. In Eridia, the last bastion of humanity, you’d almost expected something more magical in nature. Serves you right for assuming, because even after the trial run, you found yourself locked into a battle of wits with the doctor himself.

Chess is not your forte, and the abandoned board reflects that nicely. Kuras almost has you in check, playing white (resembling that pristine coat) with you playing black. You’d clocked the timer to ask for some fresh air, contemplating your life decisions as it were, before stepping outside. It was a short reprieve, must’ve been only ten minutes or so.

Returning from your recess, you were met with a very sleepy Dr. Kuras.

Loathe as you are to care, that can’t be comfortable. How tired must he be, to fall into slumber, completely at your behest, likely causing mild damage to his posture? The light filtering through the raised windows above the sanitation station and various supplies illuminates more of his visage as the sun sinks lower into the sky.

You take your seat, owlishly staring at him like one would a jarred specimen. Dr. Kuras looks more exhausted the closer you scrutinize his condition - it’s easier now that you’re free of a piercing but sincere amber gaze - diligently spotting the telltale dark circles and chapped lips.

…and to think he scolds patients for the negligence of their health. What a guy. You want to severely maim him as a little treat. He doesn’t surrender many of his secrets as peace offerings, but this is pretty close; your whirlwind of thoughts are dominated by top notes of rubbing alcohol and herbs, giving way to bittersweet regret and something surely unattainable.

In Eridia, if you don’t have something, you’ll perish chasing it.

With that in mind, you still stick around a bit longer. It’s a slow day, the doctor is asleep at your mercy, and you scramble the dormant pawns and queens and rooks around to ensure your victory. When Kuras wakes, he’ll be left at a loss.

(You will be as well, considering you’ll be bereft of company, but that should not sting as much as it does. No one is ever as they seem, and no companionship is ever permanent.)

Even so, you toss a thin sheet over his lap after ripping it off one of the nearby cots. It’s flimsy, frivolous, and his coat provides more protection from the cold, but you do it all the same.

Kuras does not so much as stir as you slip out into the street, instead opening his eyes fully without a hint of bleariness as the sidedoor clicks shut. It’s as if he’d never been asleep at all. Swallowing, the doctor’s gaze falls to his lap, pinching the thin sheet with deft fingers. 

“No one is ever as they seem,” he echoes similarly, aloud to no one but himself.

[bloodandthestars]

𝐋𝐄𝐓’𝐒 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐎𝐖𝐍 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐒.

❛ and i don’t mind you flirting, but honestly do you really wanna spend the whole night passing looks at me? ❜

— touchstarved. ais.

wc :: 2.7k

a/n : love that you guys like my first try at ais! hope you’ll enjoy this one just as much <3 a bit longer this time and idk fun? at least to write. i tried my hand at a few others this time. i feel like I may have gotten vere wrong so i definitely want opinions on that.

If the Wet Wick was ever empty, it’d be an entire crime. Luckily, if everyone was on their best behavior tonight, none would have to occur.

Your fingers are loose around a glass of gin. You intend for it to be your first and only glass of alcohol for the night. It was one of those rare nights where everyone was in one place— say for Mhin, who finds excuses in contracts to take care of in the night. “‘Better things to do than waste time with degenerates’— or something along those lines.” Leander shrugs his broad shoulders with a sip of his glass. He sets it on the bar counter. “It’s too bad, we all like-"

“Who is we-” Vere speaks with disgust in his emphasis.

“Some. Most. Most of us like their company.”

Vere scoffs, taking a sip of his flute. You let out a breathy laugh and Ais shrugs at Leander’s words, tasting his drink as well.

Background chatter fueled the ambiance of the tavern. Bloodhounds laugh and slam their drinks in various conversations behind you. Every now and then, you hear the wooden doors creak at the sign of a new person coming in and out of the busy space. Everyone has some kind of glass in their hand, say for Kuras, whose elegant voice speaks. “Mihn is a diligent person to be counted on.”

Leander’s lips break into his usual grin, with an arm swinging around the doctor's neck. Kuras doesn’t move an inch, as if used to such a gesture from the leader.

“See?” Leander says with a chip in his voice.

“We hear you, Leander.” Your voice chimes in

“We always do.” Ais places the rim of his glass to his lips.

Vere snickers, but Leander doesn’t take the teasing to a fault.

You hold your glass in the air with your hand. “We promise, we don’t dislike them.”

The mage is smiling still, even when Kuras steps away from his embrace. “Excuse me, but I must get back to work.”

“Aw, you sure?”

Kuras places his hands behind his back after adjusting his attire. He gives the room a nod of finality. You lift your glass as a motion of goodbye, Ais gives the same while Vere keeps his attention on his champagne. The doctor steps away, and you hear the wooden shutters open and close another time that night.

The silence between your four is entirely short with Leander around. He jumps over the counter from behind the bar, turning to address you and the others with another one of his grins. “Anyone up for trying one of my drinks?”

Vere rolls his eyes. “I don’t feel like it.” His voice flairs in its dramatics, placing a palm into his chin as he watches the bubbles in his drink dissipate. The fox’s elbow rests on the wooden counter where he sits next to Ais. “Besides,” His eyes narrow in his direction. “Who knows what you put in there.”

Leander’s smile grows wider. “But that's the best part.”

“Sure, for someone with nothing better to do.”

“Hey-!”

You watch the exchange, eyes going back and forth. You don’t notice the crimson eyes on you, at least not this time. He can hear the chatter next to him, sure. But why take notice of that?

Your gaze turns in his direction when you see Ais’s head nod in your way. “Gin again?”

Your eyes glance to the short glass resting in his hands. “Whiskey again?”

Ais gives you a faded smirk, making a motion with the drink before taking a sip. “That it is.”

“Then I’m not sure how you can comment on my personal taste.”

“That’s because you don’t have any.”

You frown at him, knowing all too well how he enjoys the sight. Your glass clinks onto the high table you’re leaning against when you sit it there. “I can have taste.”

“Sure you can.”

“I-”

“Gin or water. You get either or, every time.”

A scoff escapes you with a sarcastic undertone to your dialogue. “You have tasted the beer, right?”

“That one doesn’t count.”

“How so?”

“because everyone knows it's watered down and shit.”

Not another word falls from your lips. The oni wants a reaction as he usually did. And when you don’t give into it, a smirk creeps onto his face. “It’s alright, sparrow. I’m sure we still have plenty of time to fix that.”

You attempt to take your reaction to the minimum of rolling your eyes, to excuse him from ever giving him the satisfaction. God, how you wanted to wipe that smirk off of his face with every appearance at your dispense. No matter how much of a sight it was.

“Fix what?” Leander interjects with an ear to your conversation and your regard goes on him. You don’t notice the way the demon’s eyes dull behind another sip of his whiskey.

“Apparently, my taste in liquor.”

“At least someone said something about it,” Vere comments with a flick of his tail.

“You realize where we are, correct?” You wit back, earning a laugh from Leander that overshadows Ais’s huff of amusement.

“True,” Vere says primly with a final taste of his champagne disappearing past his lips. He looks over the counter to the usual suspects of wine bottles. Before he can pick out one to toy with, Leander quickly goes behind the counter and grabs the one he wants to properly pop it. The cork flies somewhere on the floor, disregarded in favor of refilling the fox’s glass. Vere gives Leander a sly smile of gratitude, with it disappearing as quickly as it comes. To battle a a bashful smile, the mage motions the bottle towards you and Ais. You both shake your heads at the offering.

“C’mon MC,” Leander shifts the bottle in your direction fully. “Might as well expand your palette now while we have the bottle open.”

Ais’s eyes dart off, lips falling to a flat line at his words. You consider the opportunity as you look into your own glass, ice diluting into whirls of purple liquid. You let out a sigh, a smile following after. “One sip.”

The ends of his lips quirk up into a large smile. “I’ll take anything I can get.”

“As we’re all well aware.” Vere cunningly remarks, though his eyes are set on the shiny new wine glass placed on the counter.

You raise a brow. “Just a glass would’ve been fine.”

Vere groans. “You’re hopeless, dear.”

Leander puts the sentiment into kinder words. “It wouldn’t feel right. Besides, why waste the opportunity to make it special?”

Ais watches as you press your lips press together to resist a smile with narrow eyes. You watch as a dark red pours into the tall glass in a small amount. Leander shifts it across the counter, where you eye it in the Wick’s gold lighting. You push yourself off of the high table, grabbing the stem of the cup. The scent was strong, automatically hitting your nostrils with it so close to your face. The wine swirls in your study, before placing the rim to your lips. Leander watches with attentive eyes, and so does another.

The taste is stark, your brows furrowing at the bitterness that greets your first. But then it slowly transitions to flavors of fruit. The zest lingers on your tongue after a swallow. You shut your eyes to contemplate the drink before opening them back on the group. “Alright…I could get used to that.”

Even Vere slightly smiles at the discovery. Leander laughs heartily. “Not so bad. right?”

You shake your head. The mix of alcohol causes you to let out a soft laugh, a hand quick to hover over your mouth after it. “Not at all.”

The mage blinks at the sound, a warmth creeping up his ears. It goes unnoticed by you, who passes the rest of your drink to Vere. He pours the wine to combine into his own glass. As he swirls his drink, his pink eyes glance over to Ais. In the notice of his silence, Vere remains in his own, sensing something amiss.

“Now that we have you started on wine,” Leander places his forearms out. “You’ll just have to divulge in my artwork next.”

“You mean concoctions?” Ais snorts at your words, grabbing Vere’s attention. “I’ve tried a few.”

“And there’s many more where that came from.” His voice turns to sing-song in order to convince you. You give him a long stare. Leander is charming, there’s no denying that. He’s got a way with words, and his smile is infectious. You’ve found yourself drawn to his energy and his carefree nature, always finding ways for you to loosen up. You let out a sigh once again. “And how could I refuse you when you pull out those eyes on me?”

A soft pink tints the mage’s cheeks. Vere perceives the sight, pink eyes connecting to Ais next, looking down at his hand— now tight when nursing his drink. There’s a twitch in the fox’s eye. His tail begins to wag in a menacing manner with an amused smirk appearing on his features.

Vere drapes himself against the counter, eyes looking at you with an enlightened voice. “You know, speaking from experience, another district has gorgeous tastes in wine. Some of them have been curated for years.”

“Is that so?”

“Mhm,” Vere lets out a low hum. “You must try them sometime. Perhaps Leander and I can accompany you to such an activity.”

Leander’s eyes brighten at the prospect, nodding along. “I think that’d be-”

A sudden yelp comes from behind you. You turn your head over your shoulder, everyone’s eyes following in the direction of drunken roughnecks shoving each other. Leander pinches the bridge of his nose, heaving a heavy sigh. His hand wipes his face, attempting to put a smile back on it. “I’ll be right back.”

The mage hops over the bar counter once more to handle the rowdiness. You turn your eyes back onto Vere with a raised brow, who now looks bored all of a sudden. “That opportunity doesn’t come with you trying to leave me dead in an alley, does it?”

Vere sips his wine with a purr. “You remain on your best behavior and I’m sure it won’t be.”

You’re not sure if it's being used to Vere threatening you through innuendos or the alcohol that makes you retort. “If anyone is in need of good behavior, it’s certainly you.”

“Aw, that sounds like the beginning of an awfully good punishment.”

Taking that as a cue to finish the conversation, you shake your head with a slight laugh. You press off of the high table, walking off to the bathroom with a pair of eyes following after. The owner of that gaze finishes the rest of his whiskey. He’s walking through the crowd when Vere looks at the empty cup on the bar counter. A crack in the glass earns of soft snicker from him.

You find your way to the bathroom through a hall of draped fabrics. After finishing up inside, you shut the door behind you and turn to a mirror on the wall. Covered fingers press to your temple as you rub in circular motions. Your hands then go to pat your face to dry extra water from it after splashing some in the bathroom. A smokey scent greets you before he does.

“Troubled?”

You wipe your face, catching blood-red eyes in the reflection. Your brow raises. “Not at all, but you seem to be.”

You turn to face Ais, crossing your arms. The demon now looks at you with a raised brow. “Do I now?”

“You got awfully quiet.”

“Maybe I was busy.”

You tilt your head at him. “Doing what exactly?”

He falls to silence, eyes set on you despite that. You turn back to the mirror, making sure the water was fully dry on your face. it was quiet for a little while till the oni speaks again.

“Leander’s a bit too eager tonight. You’d think he was wasted already.”

Your movements stop at his words and he’s quick to notice. You press your lips together, eyelids going down in thought. “Eager? Or socializing?”

“Neither of them can be good when it comes from him.”

Your attention goes back to your reflection. “To you.”

His brows furrow at your tone. “Is there something you’d like to say?”

Your eyes go to him in the mirror. “Perhaps.”

“Then say it.”

Your posture straightens, turning back to fully face Ais. Your head motions with curiosity. “You seem…bothered at the prospect of Leander showing me things.“

His mouth remains shut at your words. Your back leans against the mirror. “I mean, did you really think I wasn’t aware of how you changed up?”

And it’s there where you get a reaction. A slight widening of his eyes allows you to further reach your conclusion. It was too hard to hide the flash of a smirk on your lips.

“I’m sure you didn’t plan on spending the whole night passing looks in my direction.”

He relaxes easily, so easily that it confuses you for a brief moment. His boots take steps towards you. A hand rests on his belts as the ends of his lips turn slightly upward. “You’d be surprised.”

You watch as he steps closer to you, eyes going up and down his stature till they reach his gaze. You study his expression, now being one you’re so used to— relaxed and confident even. You help close the space even further as you take your back off of the mirror. At this point, you’re about a foot away from each other, focused and quiet. His head leans down to take you in full, as he always does. Ais’s voice is low when he notes. “Are you implying that I’m jealous, sparrow? Of that desperate fool?”

Your lips part, such an easy target for him to capture. “Not sure.” You mutter. Your eyes scan his face, falling to his lips then back up to his eyes. “You tell me.”

It was strange to feel as though it was you getting a reaction out of him this time around. As you’re met with silence, your feet begin to move past him until you’re stopped by a hand on your forearm. His hold isn’t harsh, not pressing into your skin to cause you pain. It’s a simple grasp, keeping you next to him. You crane your neck a little to look up at him just as his head turns to the side to look down at you. You’re met with the sight of blood red, but never did you feel an ounce of fear from them. You knew by now, the demon would never hurt you. The intention would never cross his mind. So when you two remained still in that moment, your only thought went to what could possibly happen next—

“MC? MC, where’d you go?”

The voice is followed by the arrival of Leander. Both of you were barely able to fix yourselves to stand side by side instead.

“There you are!” He sets his hands on his waist. “I got worried for a second. Everything alright?”

You open your mouth to speak, and just as you do, you feel something warm against your lower back. Leander has no reaction, as he couldn’t see it. “Everything‘s fine, Leander. Just had to find the bathroom.”

Your smile reassures his concerned look, deferring it to Ais. The warmth on your back shifts, allowing you to recognize its shape: a hand.

The demon shrugs nonchalantly. “Had to go too.”

Leander’s nod is slow. Someone catches his attention with a shout of his name, turning to attend to the inquiry. You’re left alone with one another once again. You look up to find his eyes already on you, motionless in your presence. He can tell of the knowing look in your eyes, furrowing his brows at the thought. With the tiniest smile, you slip from his grasp. You head back to the bar, and he soon treads your heels. It seems words didn’t have to give you his answer.

[kurasthetic]

03:59 - Kuras I

has; gn reader, reader has long-ish hair

VALEDICTION;; every farewell is fond, for he fears one may be the last (wc: 692)

"Well, I'll be off."

Kuras stilled, his pen halting over the parchment and a blob of ink slowly spreading, saturating. He slid his gaze over to you, watching as you stood and languidly stretched your back. A few soft pops crackled in the otherwise silent room, and Kuras found his eyes drawn to the movement of the muscles in your arm and the scar from its separation still stark against your skin, the curve of your back, the slight tremor of your hands as you stretched as far as you could go. Before you could catch him looking, he quickly slid his gaze away from you and cleared his throat.

"It's late," he noted. He had already heard the muffled laughter of drunkards ambling down alleyways to their homes about an hour prior, and now the streets were silent and cold. Only a few taverns would still be open at this hour, which meant the only people who would be out would be trouble. "I could-"

But, of course, a frenzied knocking on the door to his clinic caught his attention. Both he and you stared at the door, shocked by a visit at such an early hour. The voice on the other side was panicked, words tumbling out in a mixture of worry and contrition. "Doctor, doctor, please! I know it's late but my son, he-"

"I'll be just a moment," Kuras interrupted, and the knocking fell silent. Despite his cool tone, Kuras pinched the bridge of his nose, exhaling a soft sigh as he did so. Then, to you, he said, "Well, I could arrange for someone to accompany you."

"There's no need," You assured, taking your cloak from the chair it was draped over and swinging it on your shoulders. The golden threads lining the edge caught the candlelight, and Kuras wondered why, exactly, he had gotten you such an expensive cloak before he even knew you. "I can walk myself back to the Wet Wick just fine. I've gotten a lot smarter recently, you know."

That he did know. Someone as attracted to danger as yourself had to learn the ways of self defense quickly if you wanted to survive in this city. But as the time passed and you got stronger,  you also became more important to him. It was a slow change, imperceptible as it happened but unbearable once he realized. The urge to assure your safety burned in his blood. 

But arranging the escort would take time, and he had someone to take care of on the other side of the door. If he couldn't keep up a cool facade around others, then he had no hopes of fooling himself. So, instead, he stood to meet you and grabbed the edges or your cloak, far from your hands. 

Startled like a deer, you pulled your bandaged hands closer to your chest, careful not to even risk touching him. Carefully, Kuras  trailed his hands up to the clasp around your neck, carefully fastening the cloak and pulling the edges closer so it covered your body. Then, without warning, he reached behind your head and gently pulled up your hood.

With one hand, he moved the back of your hair out of the way, pulling the hood smoothly over your head. While he adjusted the edges, he carefully brushed a strand of hair away from your face, fingertips just barely grazing over your skin. He tried not to focus on how intensely your wide eyes watched him, how your mouth parted slightly in shock, or how you leaned into him, chasing after the ghost of his touch. 

With his fingers still lightly gripping the edge of your hood, Kuras finally locked eyes with you. The flickering candlelight made his eyes look like warm honey, sweet and inviting. He smiled at you; you swallowed.

"Be well," Kuras said simply and stepped back for you to leave. More than a little flustered, you nodded and made a soft hum of acknowledgement before ducking out the back door of his clinic. 

The night was cold, but your cloak was delightfully warm. You pulled it tighter around you and hurried home.

[jauniekartupelisi]

27. Kā Tev iet?

“Kā Tev iet?” ir jautājums, kuru dzirdu gan biežāk, gan retāk. Paradoksāli, bet tā sanāk. Ir daži, kuri to jautā retāk, vai vairs nejautā vispār, jo atbilde nevienam noskaņojumu neuzlabos. Vai arī ir tādi, kuri to jautā biežāk, jo, vai nu tiešām interesē, vai…tā vienkārši vajag – apjautāties.

Tad, nu mazliet par to, kā man iet…

Sliktās dienas nav tik sliktas kā tās bija gada sākumā, kad neplānoju neko tālāk par marta beigām, jo nešķita, ka JEBKO vispār vairs spēšu paveikt. Bet…Arī labās dienas nav tik labas, kā bija agrāk. Ja agrāk labā diena nozīmēja, ka, pa lielam, varu darīt lietas, paturot prātā, ka neesmu olimpiskais sportists un drīzāk kotējos kaut kur otrā skalas pusē. Tagad labā diena nozīmē, ka es nepamostos ar mokošām sprandas sāpēm un, līdz ar to komplektā, extra reiboņiem un galvassāpēm. Labā dienā man redze strādā labāk. Es joprojām visu redzu dubultā, bet, par cik mazāk reiboņu, ir vieglāk un ātrāk nofokusēties uz lietām. Ir vieglāk paiet + mazāka iespēja kaut kur visu laiku ieskriet. Es jau jokoju, ka labajai kājai mazais pirkstiņš drīz vienkārši nokritīs, jo, cik var viens pirksts izturēt, ka viņu 30 reizes dienā kaut kur atsit? Respektīvi, labā diena šobrīd ir tad, kad ir, nevis labi, bet nav tik slikti kā parasti.

Minu, ka švakāk ir arī tāpēc, ka organisms sāk aprast ar zālēm, kuras lietoju kopš marta sākuma. Ja sākumā efekts bija diezgan lielisks, tad ar laiku vairs nav tik skaisti. Sprandas sāpes un tām komplektā nākošie reiboņi un galvassāpes, sākumā pazuda vispār, pateicoties ikdienas zālīšu kokteilim. Taču tagad, no rītiem, lielākoties, pamostos ar sāpošu sprandu un kādu pirmo pusstundu/stundu nomodā, pavadu mazkustīgi, lai spranda aprod ar to, ka arī šodien būs jāsaņemās un jāeksistē.

Pa lielam, vienalga, cikos es aizeju gulēt, es mostos kaut kur laikā no 5:00-6:30. Cenšos ieturēt kaut kādu “ritmu” un gulēt doties +/- vienā laikā katru dienu (sanāk ap pusnakti), bet arī reizēs, kad noplīstu ātrāk, vai aizsēžos ilgāk, pamošanās laika amplitūda nemainās. Lai nebūtu tik vienmuļi, ja es noguļu vairāk par kādām 6h, kā balvu saņemu izteiktākas sprandas sāpes no rīta/pa dienu. Tādēļ, reizēm, pat, ja jūtu, ka varbūt pat varētu vēl uz kādām 30-60 min iemigt, ja man pa dienu kaut ko jādara, labāk celties, nevis riskēt ar extra mocīšanos. Nav tā, ka, pamostoties no rīta, jūtos neizgulējies vai kā tml. Es vienk��rši pamostos un viss, esmu gatavs celties un velties. (par to vēlāk) Bet tad pa nedēļu tās miega stundas, kuras, acīmredzot, manam organismam tomēr pietrūkst, kaut kur sakrājās un kādā random dienā, es vienkārši pa dienu atslēdzos. Gluži kā tāds kaķis, varu aizmigt jebkur un jebkurā brīdī.

Kad es iemiegu, vienalga, vai tas ir uz 6h vai 10min, es katru reizi pamostos un man uzreiz vajag uz labierīcībām. Katru reizi. Ja es pamostos, aizeju uz wc, atnāku atpakaļ, iemiegu uz 10 min un tad atkal pamostos – atkal jāskrien uz wc. Ja reiz runāju par wc, es dzeru vienus vitamīnus, kuri palīdz mazliet pasargāt aknas no tā pārējā zāļu krājuma, kuru lietoju. Un tie vitamīni, kā novērots, stipri piepalīdz tai nemitīgajai staigāšanai uz wc. Kad regulāri lietoju tos aknu vitamīnus, mēdz būt dienas, kad uz wc eju 3x stundā + katru reizi, kad pamostos no iesnaušanās/miega. Līdzīgi kā ar gulēšanas stundām/sprandu, arī te ir plānošana. Ja es ar kādu tiekos dzīvē un ārpus mājas, 95%, ka, ja tā bijusi plānota tikšanās, es kādas 2 dienas pirms tam jau atmetu aknu vitamīnus, plānojot to, ka man būs jādodas ārpus mājām un var nebūt konstanta wc klātbūtne lokācijā. Ejot mazliet tālāk wc situācijā, numur divi lietas arī ir mazprognozējamas. Tādēļ, profilakses nolūkos, ja mēs tiekamies dzīvē un ārpus mājām, tad es, ne tikai dienas divas neesmu dzēris aknu vitamīnus, bet, pirms mūsu tikšanās, es, visticamāk, dienas gaitā, esmu izrijis vismaz puspaciņu aktīvās ogles, kas var nostrādāt kā vajag, bet var arī izrādīties tikpat noderīgi kā noskaitīt pantiņu ne-Ziemassvētkos.

Došanās ārpus mājas vispār ir diezgan liels pārbaudījums katru reizi. Neskaitot jau iepriekšminētos drošības pasākumus, jo tālāk jādodas, jo lielāka iespēja, ka, gan turp, gan atpakaļ nāksies ceļu mērot ar taksi vai vismaz sab. transp. Man sāk šķist, ka būs jāpaskatās, vai varu tikt pie kādiem sab. transp. biļešu maksas atvieglojumiem, jo tā lietošanas biežums ir palielinājies par kādiem 400%. Ja kādreiz kilometrīgie gājieni kaut kur, nekad nebija problēma un es pat biežāk izvēlējos kaut kur vilkties kājām nekā braukt ar transportu, tad tagad… 3min gājiens līdz Rimi, fiksa iepirkšanās un 3 min gājiens atpakaļ līdz mājām…Nūūūū, kā kurā dienā. Vienu dienu šāda avantūra beidzas ar to, ka, atnākot mājās, vajag tik uz brītiņu piesēst, atelpoties. Bet citā dienā, es jau mājupceļā jūtu, ka enerģija izsīkst, labā kāja sāk ķerties pret zemi, mājupceļā vairāk varu paļauties uz to, ka zinu, kur dzīvoju, nekā uz to, ka redzu, kur eju. Un tad, tiekot mājās, sabrūku dīvānā uz kādām 10-30 minūtēm, līdz ir atjaunojušās kaut kādas enerģijas un eksistences krātuves. Par lielāku gabalu iešanu ir vēl cita opera. Ja mani turp var aizvest transports, mēs brauksim ar transportu. Tā visiem būs drošāk…

Bet vispār, pēdējos laikos pieķeru sevi, ka ir grūtāk saņemties un kaut ko sākt darīt. Es runāju par jebko, sākot no pakošanās, lai kaut kur dotos, līdz pat tādiem sīkumiem kā uztaisīt tēju. Kādreiz man riebās sēdēt, neko nedarot. Vajag kaut kur iet, kaut ko darīt, vai vismaz kaut ko skatīties, kaut ko klausīties, kaut ko iekost, kaut ko padzerties utt. Tagad, saprotot, ka ir jāpieceļās un jāiet uztaisīt tēju, es varu attapties pusstundu vēlāk, joprojām sēžot dīvānā un cenšoties vienkārši…piecelties un sākt. Bija uzpeldējis kaut kāds PVO online tests, kurš dievojās, ka nekādā veidā neaizstājot profesionāļa veiktus izmeklējumus un testus…bet aizpildi tik un tā for shits and giggles, vane?

Pabeidzot testu, man uzrādīja, ka esot “mild depression” jeb “viegla depresija”. Kas, pie velna ir “viegla depresija”?! Tas ir tad, kad jūties štruntīgi, bet tomēr apzinies, ka neesi bārenis Āfrikas nostūrī? Kad neko negribās darīt un nekam nevari saņemties…Bet, nu, ai! Kas jādara – jādara? Neesmu jau apavu rūpnīcā Ķīnā? Mans “mild depression” skaidrojums ir, ka varētu uztaisīt tēju…Varbūt…Kaut kad vēlāk…Vai rīt.

Visbeidzot, ir arī zilonis istabā, par kuru jāparunā…Es. Es esmu tas zilonis. Visa situācija, man izrakstītās zāles un vēl sazin kas, rezultējas tajā, ka mana vielmaiņa ir…vietā, kur mugura zaudē savu pieklājīgo nosakumu. Pateicoties zālēm, gribas vairāk ēst. Cenšos ēst daudz savus mīļos griķīšus, grauzt burkānus un gurķus, grauzt rudzu kraukšķus, grauzt bezcukura un beztauku standziņas utt., Bet, nu, tāpat jau sagribās un aiziet kāda piciņa…vai kāda paka ar cepumiem, vai šokolādes tāfelīte…Gadās. Bet tas viss aiziet, škiet, tikai un vienīgi masā. Vienalga, vai paēdu griķus ar tvaicētiem dārzeņiem, iestumju 30cm picu vai nokopju tāfelīti šokoādes, tas nedod man nekādu enerģiju. Gluži pretēji, viss tikai uzdzen miegu un nogurumu un…riepu. Un atsvērt to ar fiziskām aktivitātēm nesanāk, jo par iešanu es jau rakstīju augstāk, paskriet es nevaru un ar velosipēdu mīties vispār šķiet kosmoss, ņemot verā manu labās kājas funkcionalitāti, manus random balansa zudumus, manu redzi utt. utjp.

Īsāk sakot, paēd, iemiedz, pamosties, skrien uz wc, atnāc atpakaļ, sagribi tēju, jo no zālēm baigi kaltē, bet…Principā, jau nav tik traki…Uztaisīšu tēju rīt.

[velvethana]

PHONING... 𓂃 ࣪˖ Pearl.

Vacation is reaching its end and you find yourself growing restless as you wonder if you’re ‘boy of the summer’ feels the same way as you do.

જ⁀➴♡ wc 6k ✧ fluff

"Hello? Did you hear anything I just said?"

You opened your eyes, the sun blaring in your face. Turning slightly, you recognize the familiar voice and match it to the face in front of you. Chaewon sat, snapping her fingers in your face.

“Sorry," you said. "What were you saying?"

You were sat between Chaewon and Yunjin on the beach, spread out lazily lounging around on beach towels.

The guys were out messing around in the water.

The sun blaring in your eyes wasn’t worth the hassle of trying to catch a glimpse.

Despite how early it had been in the hang out, you already felt yourself beginning to feel sun-sick. The hangover from the night before certainly didn’t help either.

It was eighty-seven degrees already, and it was just the after noon so you were sure that it would get even hotter as the hangout progressed.

When the summer vacation had started with your friends, you were already counting the days until it ended.

It wasn’t that you weren’t a fan of it, you definitely weren’t against the parties and the guys but you had your studies back at home that you wanted to get back to.

Now that the summer was ending, though, you wished that time would come to a slow.

“I said, what are you going to wear to Heeseung’s party?" Chaewon repeated.

She'd lined your towels up close, so that was like the two of you were on one big towel. Despite you arguing that she would block your sun, she simply winked at you.

She rolled onto her stomach to be face-to-face with you, placing your chin in her hands.

"I don't know," you said, shielding your eyes from the sun once again.

She had tiny sweat beads on her nose and she hummed for a moment as if in deep thought.

She said, "I'm going to wear that new sundress I bought with Kura at the outlet from the boardwalk."

You closed your eyes again, swallowing the dry lump in your throat. Since you were wearing sunglasses, she couldn't tell if your eyes were open or not anyway.

“Which one?"

"You know, the cute one with the pink ribbon that ties around the neck. I showed it to you, like, two days ago." Chaewon let out an impatient little sigh as you gave her a sheepish smile.

"Oh, yeah," you said but you could tell that she knew you still didn’t remember.

“You’re still thinking about him, aren’t you?” A familiar mischievous smirk grew on her face and you opened your eyes just to roll them.

“Is Kura coming to the party?” You asked, attempting to change the subject.

“Nope,” she said popping the ‘p’ sound. “Says she’s too busy for it.”

“Well, I don’t blame her. Last time she came she had to hold back Yuri’s hair… not a fun time.”

You hummed in response, recalling the night. Heeseung’s parties were mainly just an accumulation of all the random early 20 somethings visiting for the summer looking for free drinks, it wasn’t unusual for someone to have one too many.

“You know, Beomgyu is going to be there…” her voice trailed off into a whistle and you sent a glare her way, sitting up.

“I’m not thinking about him. Plus, Jake is the one who invited me. Wouldn’t it be rude if I hung out with another guy?”

Chaewon’s eyes trailed behind you, widening a bit before she shook her head and smiled at you again. “I’m sure Jake wouldn’t mind, he’s a dog anyways he wouldn’t care.”

“A dog? Nice, Chae.” You snickered, causing her to rapidly wave her hands in front of her in defense.

“I meant in a golden retriever way! If anything, he’d probably be happy for you.”

“Right…”

You started to say something else, something nice about the usual crowd you saw at the parties or even an excuse of being ‘too tired’ from the bonfire last night but suddenly felt ice-cold aluminum sticking to the back of your neck.

You let out a yelp as you quickly turned around, shooing away in whatever direction the cold can came from.

In turning, you came face-to-face with Yeonjun, crouched down next to you with a dripping Coke can in his hand, laughing his head off.

You glared at him, wiping off your neck. You were starting to get sick of him and his friends entirely considering how much they occupied your mind— and days in general.

“What the hell, Yeonjun?”

He was still laughing, which made you even more annoyed as you pushed yourself to stand up, shoving his shoulder.

“God, you're so immature."

"But you looked really hot," he protested. "I was trying to cool you off!”

Chaewon and Yunjin laughed at this, Yunjin turning fully to face the commotion.

“Nice one, Yeonjun. Very smooth.” Her voice was dripping with sarcasm and he flashed her a charming smile.

You didn't answer him, placing your hand on the back of your neck. Your jaw began to feel really tight, and you could feel all the other girls staring at you expectantly.

Yeonjun’s flirting was just a part of being his friend, after all. Everyone knew that it wasn’t necessarily targeted, though he did always say that you were his favorite to mess with so that could be debatable in your eyes.

And then Yeonjun’s smile slightly slipped away and he said, "Sorry. You want this Coke?"

You shook your head, and he shrugged before retreating back over to the water.

Yunjin shook her head, turning her attention back to the magazine she was flipping through. “Guys never learn…”

As she trailed off, you felt blood rush to your face out of embarrassment. Normally you would entertain his flirting, hell sometimes you were even the one to initiate it, but the past few days all you could focus on was him.

It was annoying, really. Yeonjun and you were always playful together but over this summer specifically, things seemed to change. Now all you wanted to do was talk to his friend but it seemed like he was ignoring you for some reason.

Still, your annoyance with his friend being taken out on him was less than fair and you knew it.

Being mean to Yeonjun was like being mean to a puppy. There was just no sense in it and you’d just feel bad afterwards. Too late, you tried to catch Yeonjun’s eye, but he didn't look back at you.

Chaewon sighed, “always tearing men apart. Aren’t you, Y/N?” She asked in a low voice.

You lay back down on your towel, this time face up hoping to hide the regret on your face.

You took a deep breath and let it out, slowly. The music from Kazuha’s phone was giving you a headache from the volume.

Chaewon leaned over and pushed up your sunglasses so she could see your eyes. She peered at you with concerned eyes. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. It's just too hot out here." You wiped sweat off your forehead with the back of your arm.

"Don't be embarrassed. Yeonjun can't help being an idiot around you, he likes you."

"Yeonjun doesn't like me," you said, looking away from her.

It was obvious that you were trying to convince yourself.

Yeonjun did sort of like you, in the same way a boy likes his favorite toy. You were well aware of the fact that he liked you: you just wished he didn’t.

"Sure, he's totally into you. Just like Jongho, just like Shotaro. I still think you should give at least one of them a chance. It'll take your mind off of you-know-who."

You turned your head away from her and she said, "How about I do your makeup for the party tonight? I can use that cute pink glitter you liked last time!”

The idea of getting ready with Chaewon was comforting, even if you weren’t too keen on going anyways. “Sure.”

"What are you going to wear?"

You shrugged before noticing she had begun scrolling through her phone. Realizing that she hadn’t seen, you replied.

"I'm not sure."

Chaewon nodded, eyebrows knitted tightly together as if the decision was a crucial one.

"Well, you have to look cute because everybody's gonna be there," Chaewon said.

You had caught onto her emphasis of the word ‘everyone’ but decided not to comment on it.

"I'll come over early and we can get ready together." You nodded, closing your eyes once again with a deep sigh.

The bonfire casted a warm glow against the darkening sky, flickering flames dancing in the cool evening air.

You sat, Jisung’s arm draped around your shoulder as you downed another drink. Despite the close contact, everyone was well aware that the two of you weren’t together.

For the most part, everyone knew that you were single. You had made it very clear, despite your constant flirting that you weren’t looking for a relationship in the slightest— hell, usually when the summers would end you’d completely go ghost on everyone to return to your normal life.

What happens in Busan stays in Busan and all that nonsense.

Amidst the lively chatter and laughter, you had noticed a boy chatting with Yeonjun, silhouette illuminated by the fire's light as he fiddled with the a camera in his hands.

You’d seen him plenty of times before but never managed to talk to him by yourself, usually getting wrapped up in conversations with Yeonjun and his other friend, Kai.

Shrugging off Jisung’s shoulder you gave him a quick excuse, though he was too immersed in his conversation to even notice.

“Yeonjun! Who’s this?” You asked, stumbling a bit as you plopped yourself onto the log next to them.

Yeonjun’s eyes widened a bit at your suden appearance but he quickly eased into it, pulling his friend into him with a proud smile.

“Choi Beomgyu! Choi Beomgyu, this is Busan’s dear party girl, Y/N.”

“Beomgyu. Just Beomgyu.” The guy gave you a smile, though all you could focus on was his hair at the moment and how soft it looked.

“Not property of Busan, Yeonjun. I just come through sometimes…”

“Right. Y/N here is our summer storm.”

Beomgyu raised an eyebrow, “summer storm?”

“Every summer, returning to break boys hearts.” Suddenly, the idea of boasting about your reputation filled you with embarrassment.

You shook your head, letting out a forced laugh. “He’s joking! Obviously.”

“In other news, I haven’t seen you around much. Are you new here?” Beomgyu nodded.

“I guess you could say that. I usually come with Yeonjun and the others, just not big on the whole party scene.”

Yeonjun let out a dramatic wail, “poor guy stays in the vacation house the entire time. I tell him it’s no way to spend the summer but he never listens!”

The idea of spending the summer inside their vacation home did sound painfully dreadful— not that it was a bad home or anything, you’d been over a few times to hangout with Yeonjun and Soobin but it was fairly small to fit all four of them— or five now, you suppose.

The idea that there had been another guy with them the entire time that you never met made you the slightest bit annoyed at Yeonjun for not introducing you, especially considering how cute he was.

“I get it, a fellow introvert.” You said as Yeonjun gave you a bewildered look. “Fellow? You’re the least introverted person I know.”

Upon noticing the glare you gave him, Yeonjun’s mouth quickly reverted to his normal pout before he let out a hum of realization.

When people called you a chameleon, you always thought it was a bit funny. Although it was true in some ways with how you would change and shape yourself to match those around you.

The nickname didn’t bother you, though the scaled animal itself was less than appealing to be compared to.

“Regardless,” you started. “I can respect it. Sometimes it's nice to escape the chaos, you know?”

Beomgyu nodded before a small, playful smirk grew on his face, looking up at you. “Summer storms bring chaos wherever they go though, don’t they?”

The heat that you felt rush to your face had you clearing your throat before letting out an embarrassed laugh, reminding yourself to punch Yeonjun for calling you that later.

“R-Right…”

It must have been obvious that Beomgyu had you flustered because Yeonjun snickered before excusing himself, rushing back to the bonfire, probably to gossip about whatever was going on with the two of you with their friends.

“It's quieter over here, at least.” He said, taking a drink from the cup he was holding.

You wanted to ask what he was drinking but it seemed to just be water.

“Well, what's your story then? What do you do when you're not dodging party invitations?”

Beomgyu shrugs, tilting his head slightly. You notice how his hair frames his face so perfectly and again, you find yourself fighting the urge to brush it out of his face.

“Mostly just listen to or make music. And you?” Your eyes widened a bit at the idea of him making music.

Throughout your years visiting, you’d surely met hundreds of guys who claimed to be musicians.

Some were surely better than others but you couldn’t help but roll your eyes after the third time. Claiming to be a musician just felt like the oldest trick in the book now.

Despite this, you found yourself interested in Beomgyu’s music specifically as you shuffled closer slightly. As if it would somehow serve to let you know more about him.

“Oh, you know, the usual. Hanging out with friends, smoothies and açaí bowls… hitting up every party within a ten-mile radius and waking up with the worst headache ever thanks to Soobin’s mystery concoctions.“

Beomgyu gave you a look as if to ask if you were crazy, “I wouldn’t put anything in my body that Soobin makes. That’s your first mistake.”

A genuine laugh slipped and you shook your head, leaning in as you held eye contact with him. Unlike you expected him to, he didn’t seem to shy away from you.

Most strangely, you found that you couldn’t read him at all.

It stayed like that for a while.

“Let’s take a picture together! To preserve this memory. To new friends, right?”

“Sure. To new friends.”

That moment it felt as though the hands of time stood stilll; Beomgyu and his camera smile— a flash of something real.

Your heart fluttered at the click of the camera’s shutter, and that was it.

The two of you talked until the evening, agreeing to meet again once the sun came up.

You knew that you would be hungover and dreaded the idea of getting up early but decided to deal with it to spend more time with him.

And so you met up once more, traveling down the beach’s trail as the moon came out for awhile; the trail lights glowing warmly creating a halo around him.

He’d offer to take a photo and you’d gladly pose for him, grateful that he wanted to remember you.

With each click of the camera, the clock would pause and resume its ticking with your heart on the dial.

Beomgyu had agreed to come out to more parties for the promise of seeing you and you found yourself searching for him at every function.

The two of you began to emerge during each other’s off hours simply to connect as often as you could, summer’s clock ticking away.

There were a few whispers about you and your new ‘boy toy’ but you couldn’t find it in you to entertain them like all the times before.

Something about him grabbed you, genuinely, for the first time in years. Anytime you thought that you had nailed him down he seemed to surprise you again.

Your ‘Mr. Mysterious’ quickly became ‘Mr. Perfect’ in your mind and as embarrassing as it was, you found yourself checking your phone often for his texts.

Despite your seemingly contrasting personalities, you felt a genuine connection spark, conversations somehow flowing effortlessly.

And that’s how you found yourself completely overthinking everyday leading up to the end of summer.

The idea of going from talking to and seeing Beomgyu everyday to not at all was sickening to you.

Something you never worried about before, the mere idea of him forgetting about you made you nauseous.

Though, you were far too prideful to ever truly admit that to someone, it was fairly obvious to everyone around you with how your behavior had changed.

Rejecting any and all advances toward you, instead opting to look for that familiar head of brown hair and finding yourself waiting for him.

Impatient as always, you’d stand with your arms crossed tapping your feet in annoyance at the curious glances thrown your way but the second he would show up, the biggest smile would make its’ way onto your face as the world melted away.

You wondered if he himself had noticed that change or if he thought that was just how you were.

Saving yourself and your time for him, precious nights spent partying without a care in the world had turned into nights focusing only on him. Or alternatively, your nights being ruined when he didn’t show.

The rest of the summer seemed to fly by quickly, regardless of how agonizingly slow it felt waiting for him to make a move.

There were times when you were sure it would be it, quiet moments in the car before he had dropped you off at home. Your breath hitched as he looks at you from behind his glasses, only for him to smile and give you a ‘get home safe.’

That was the last night you had seen him, a week and a day ago. You would be embarrassed of how long you had been keeping count if you weren’t upset by it.

In the end though, you guessed that was what you got for waiting around for some guy.

“Y/N, you’re spacing out again.”

“Huh? Oh, sorry.” Kazuha laughed as she turned back to the mirror, applying her lip gloss.

“You know, even if Beomgyu doesn’t show up I’m sure Yeonjun will.”

“Beomgyu will show up!” Chaewon cheered, pausing for a moment while she applied your eyeliner.

She must have noticed that her voice came off much too certain as everyone in the room gave her a confused look.

She laughed nervously before continuing. “I-I mean… I asked Yeonjun and he said he was going, so…”

“Right.” Yunjin said, drawing it out as she straightened out her bangs.

“You said he hasn’t answered you in a while, right?” Eunchae asked from the doorway, shoveling spoonfuls of fruit loops into her mouth.

“Uh… yeah.” Your voice was quiet and it was obvious that you were embarrassed about it.

“Want me to send a pipe bomb to his house?” She asked, eyes cast down as she scooped up more cereal.

Chaewon paused to slowly turn to Eunchae who shrugged, causing you to laugh and relax the slightest bit.

“I don’t think blowing up Y/N’s boy of the week is good for the singles’ economy. Who knows, he might come back in the cycle.”

“I don’t care if he shows up, anyway.” Kazuha and Yunjin silently shared a knowingly glance.

Chaewon frowned, fixated on the glitter she was applying to your eyelid.

Eunchae smiled, dimples showing as she shook her head. “He totally got you, didn’t he?”

A part of you wanted to deny it, but the silence that fell over the room with soft music playing from the speakers was enough to tell you that there was no point anymore.

No matter how many times you’d argue, swinging like a pendulum between yes and no— you’d always reach the same conclusion.

You always wondered if the mind answered to the heart. The way it always conjured up things that weren’t there. The prizes he won for you at the boardwalk’s arcade and the way he held your hands in his as he tried to teach you to play some dumb shooting game.

You didn’t pay attention to the screen and he laughed with you focused on him being so close.

There was never a chance for you to try and change how you acted around him, he saw right through it.

Maybe that was the reason you found meaning behind everything he did when it came to you.

How he plagued your mind like a disease, invading your space like some irritating bug you couldn’t quite catch.

And you could never place what was so different about him compared to everyone else you had talked to. Something about being with him felt like being home, somehow.

So despite the growing irritation, you would wait until summer’s end.

Wanting the mirage knowing it will never be enough.

But your heart doesn’t have eyes and the mind cannot resist when it asks.

You sighed. “Maybe he did.”

The beach house party was already irritating to you once you arrived. The girls kept together as they all went to get drinks and you set off on your own.

And even though you swore it wasn’t to go find your pest of a guy friend that you may or may not have had a tiny crush on, it was obvious that no one believed you.

The party had been loud and crowded like all the ones before but now the mass amount of sweaty people just irked you and dancing seemed far less appealing.

Maybe you had finally gotten over the scene and preferred something much more down to earth and personal.

It made you sad in a way, but you chalked it up to the fact that things always change.

Only the golden sand stretching outside into the horizon provided comfort as you peered out to the waves through the pane of glass.

Torches outside lined the perimeter and flickering flames adding a warm glow to the gathering as a few stragglers hung outside.

The sliding glass doors blurred the boundaries between the inside and outside and you felt drawn to the deck, eventually giving up on searching for Beomgyu.

Considering he hadn’t been answering your messages anyways, you assumed he wouldn’t bother talking to you even if he was there.

“Y/N!” A familiar voice called for you and before you could turn, a heavy arm found its way around your shoulder as the guy practically dropped into your lap.

“…Soobin?” You gave him a confused look. The two of you had talked tons of times but you wouldn’t consider you particularly close.

He also wasn’t one to play into your usual flirting so for him to, quite literally, throw himself at you was strange.

“Yeah, yeah!”

“Are you… okay?” There wasn’t much concern in your voice. After all, you’d seen Soobin drink a fair amount of times and he seemed to handle the morning after well enough so you figured he’d be fine.

“Yeah! Yeah, I was looking for you.”

“For me?” Now, there was a bit of concern in your voice. A small part of you nagged at you for being so selfish but you brushed it to the back of your mind.

“Yeahhh…”

“Why?”

He hummed, raising an eyebrow at you with puffed out cheeks. As cute as he was, you were already beginning to feel a little annoyed.

Curse you for being sober.

Gently, you reached out, pinching his cheeks where his dimples were. “Spit it out?”

“Oh! Yeahh, Beomgyu’s looking for you.” At this, your eyes seemed to light up and betray you as Soobin’s smile grew even wider, taking notice.

The deck was adorned with string lights and colorful lanterns that must have begun blurring together for Soobin as he squeezed his eyes shut for a moment.

Knowing the feeling all too well, you let out a sigh. “Stay here, I’ll get you some water.”

Standing up, you gently pushed him off of you and he frowned.

“What about Beomgyu?” His voice called over to your retreating form.

You let out a huff as you waved a hand back towards him dismissively. “What about him!”

As you made your way back inside, lounge furniture was scattered throughout as guests were spread all over.

A makeshift bar was set up in one corner, stocked with an array of cocktails and chilled beverages. When you reached the table, grabbing a cup and sharply turning to make your way to the kitchen a body suddenly blocked you.

“Y/N!” Looking up, you sighed with relief.

“Jake, hi.”

“You’re not drinking?” He asked, motioning to the empty cup in your hand as he held his between his lips.

Ignoring the way he had asked as if he was genuinely shocked at the idea, you shook your head.

“Maybe later. Right now I’m getting water for a completely wasted Soobin.” Jake nodded, gently guiding you by your arm to move behind him as someone shoved the two of you.

He gave them a glare before returning to you with kind eyes. “Don’t let me stop you then. I just wanted to let you know that Beomgyu’s been looking for you.”

It was almost like the mention of his name alone gave you a headache with the way you audibly groaned.

“Thanks, Jake.” You said with a thin smile, pushing past him as he gave you a confused look.

Finally reaching the kitchen after a few minutes that felt like ages, you filled the cup with ice and water before returning to Soobin.

Stepping through the glass door once more, you saw the all too familiar back of a head.

“Beomgyu,” You started.

“Hey, Y—”

“Y/N!” Soobin cheered, pulling Beomgyu in close to him and pointing. “Y/N’s here! You were looking for her and now you’re here. Both— you’re both here. My favorite couples here!”

“Not a couple.” The two of you said in unison.

Even though you had said it as well, you couldn’t help but feel upset by how quick he responded. How hypocritical.

Soobin looked between the two of you before groaning, taking the cup out of your hands and downing it.

“AH— Ice water? Are you trying to kill me?”

You shrugged, sitting on the opposite side of Soobin from Beomgyu.

“I was hoping the cold would shock your nervous system back to normal and factory reset you or something.”

Soobin paused for a minute before nodding. “Very smart. I admire woman in stem.”

“Don’t you mean women?” Beomgyu asked, amused.

Soobin just shook his head.

“Why did you drink so much anyway?” You asked.

It wasn’t like Soobin was a prude when it came to drinking but more often than not, him and Kai were the sober ones of their friend group. At least, unless they were celebrating something.

“Wowww, I am so glad you asked.” Soobin motioned from you to Beomgyu, leaning back slightly.

“Take it away.” He said, only for Beomgyu to shoot him a look that you couldn’t exactly read.

Soobin deadpanned at the silence before letting out a huff, pushing himself up clumsily and stretching. “I am.. celebrating!” He raised his arms up for only a moment before they dropped to his sides.

“You,” he started pointing at Beomgyu. “Do the thing. I’m outta here.”

With that, he stumbled away to go find Kai. You furrowed your eyebrows at the fact that he had basically just thrown you to the wolves but decided to chalk it up to the fact that he was inebriated.

“So…” Beomgyu began to trail off and you huffed, arms wrapping around yourself for comfort.

If he had asked, you were just cold.

“You haven’t answered me in a week. That’s kind of a dick move— actually, no. Not kind of. It is a dick move. You’re a dick, Beomgyu.”

Beomgyu let out an exasperated sigh and you opened your mouth to berate him before he nodded.

“Yeah, you’re right.” Expecting him to argue back, his lack of defense made your annoyed expression morph into one of confusion.

“…Huh.”

“I was a dick,” he started. “I should have answered you, there’s no reason for me to not have. I think I just needed some time to myself after getting burnt out from going out so often and I got caught up in my own world. I’m sorry.”

His response was clear and communicative and you found yourself feeling embarrassed for trying to start an argument. Because he wasn’t like any other guy you had talked to and you seemed to forget that.

“I’m sorry for being rude.” He shook his head and smiled.

“You just missed me, right? You have a reason to be hurt.”

The familiar feeling of your chest tightening made you clear your throat. “As if…”

Beomgyu laughed. “Alright. You missed my camera, then?” He asked, holding up the camera he had in his lap.

You hadn’t even noticed it throughout Soobin’s antics but now that it was in front of you, your eyes became fixated on it.

“Maybe just you.” You muttered, putting your hand over his and pushing the camera back to his lap gently.

“Knew it.”

“Don’t get cocky.” You said with a huff, finally meeting his eyes, not even realizing that he moved closer in Soobin’s absence.

“I couldn’t. Never with you. You keep me humble.”

With him sitting in front of you, eyes as warm as always you found him only confirming what you were afraid of.

You didn’t just love Beomgyu, you were in love with him.

“I think I hated being away from you more than anything. Like, ever.” Beomgyu paused for a moment before nodding.

“Me too.”

You shook your head, “well it didn’t seem like it.”

“I think missing you was easier for me because of all the pictures of you I have.“ Your breath almost caught in your throat at the comment, imagining him hanging up the photos he had taken on each of your outings in his room like precious memories.

“I forgot that just because I got to see you everyday, that didn’t mean you could see me. Sorry, Y/N.”

And it was true. Despite your bugging Beomgyu much preferred to be behind a camera than in front of it and you didn’t want to bother him so eventually you had stopped asking.

All you had was one shaky photo of Beomgyu next to your drunk self, both of you giving a thumbs up. An embarrassing photo that you would rather take to your grave than make your lockscreen for all to see.

“You better make it up to me. Summer’s already ending, you know…” your voice trailed off and he could sense the hurt behind your words as you pulled your knees closer to your chest.

Despite the loud music from inside and the few stray party goers outside with you both, the moment felt way too intimate for your liking.

“You’re right. We’ll just have to make the most of it, right?”

Another annoyed sigh came from you and you turned, cheek pressed against your knee as you glared up at him.

“So, you excited to get back home to your girlfriend?” Beomgyu raised an eyebrow at you.

“My… girlfriend? Y/N, I don’t have a girlfriend.”

You groaned, “then why haven’t you asked me?”

Your voice was barely above a whisper and you were sure that he didn’t even hear you. Before you could try and backtrack, he chuckled.

“God, you’re impatient aren’t you?” Straightening back up, you gawked at him.

“Me?! Impatient? I’ve been waiting, like, all summer!”

“I meant right now,” he said mindlessly combing through his camera’s gallery.

Eventually he stopped, turning it to you. On the small screen, fuzzy and dark was the photo of the two of you that first night you had met only illuminated by the fire nearby.

Before you could ask him why he was showing you that, he cut you off.

“I had to ask Yeonjun beforehand. Since I’m such a good friend.” His voice was teasing as you rolled your eyes.

“And before you deny him liking you, I already know that he did.” You reminded yourself to curse at yourself later for being so predictable.

“Anyway, he was cool about it so I just had to think over how I wanted to tell you how I felt.”

“How you felt?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“I think the best ways for me to communicate are through music and pictures, so I wanted to do something with those.” He let out an irritated huff before gently handing you his camera, your eyes still fixated on the photo of you both.

Shuffling through his side bag, he pulled out a folder. It was a normal white folder but on it was small doodles of bears and other animals. It was cutesy, not what you were expecting, but cute.

“But, I don’t have access to any of my recording stuff here so I figured the pictures would have to do.”

You hesitated for a moment to open the folder before he nudged you. Gently, you opened it up and slid out the photos. They were physical prints of all the photos he had taken of you and the one you had taken together.

“I think that the best pictures are ones we take of the people we love.” He said, voice a bit quieter than before as if not to scare you.

The kindness in his words hit you and the weight held behind them made you almost want to cry as you were reminded all over again.

You loved Beomgyu.

And you almost wished that you never did because loving him was like being ten years old again, scaling a tree with your eyes bright and skyward as the sun shined down on you, wanting only to get higher and higher, without a thought of how you would get back down.

Because the comfort in knowing he would be there to catch you if you fell was worlds more painful than the idea of falling at all.

Falling into the realization that if you were to lose him and the summer, a whole universe would go along with him.

In changing yourself for every guy that you’d talked to, entering stages for some momentary fun only to leave in the morning and forget once summer ended, you picture all your other selves, standing in line like a row of dominoes; separate but part of the same disjointed whole.

None of them felt like you, not anymore. Not when he saw right through you like this.

Yet, how could you hold a single one accountable when all you wanted was to be loved?

The realization for Beomgyu had come much too soon for his liking. Almost as if he had fallen face first into love, simultaneously knocking the air out of him while helping him see things much clearer.

How much easier it got for him to imagine you as a young girl. To think about your worn-out heart, breaking for the things you couldn't hold on to such as childhood pets and toys. The wish that he had met you sooner, if only to love you for longer.

The moment that the realization had come, the flash had hit you as he stared at you through the view finder. Your prettiest smile through his lens, he could somehow taste the salt of the sea when you both were miles inland.

Whenever you were together, the ocean felt like a fractured memory of when you had first met.

Your reputation never mattered to him, everyone had something they were known for. Who you were in front of his camera: he believed in that version of you. He loved that version of you.

He loved you.

And in the moments where you would slip, showing some sign of sincerity with your soft spoken words and your gentle glances, he had always known.

How you threw yourself blindly at the world and its people, hoping that it would always open its arms up to you and find you a home.

You weren’t some disastrous storm wreaking havoc— he found a pearl a much more suitable comparison. Like the ones you would look for on every beach, the place you felt most at home.

A pearl. Soft and sensitive to the world around it, yet as beautiful as the ocean it made its’ home.

જ⁀➴♡ phone in ᝰ.ᐟ

[haziqhefram]

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[facefullofsadness]

Not to beg but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEEAAAASSSEEEE can you do a part 2 to the psychopathic but it's okay band au thing and what the dynamic is like afterwards and maybe the rest of the girls catching on to something going between them

oooo okay, I never thought about it but NOW YOU GOT ME THINKING

content - aftermath of psychopathic but it's okay

wc - 2936

a/n - the "not to beg but PLEASE" was rlly funny btw. kinda in love with this universe now after writing this

the days after you and yunjin hooked up were... hm.

things were god fucking awkward to say the least. waking up alone after passing out on the practice room couch to seeing all your bandmates the following day, including jen (who actually showed up on time). the tension in that room was so palpable, it almost felt like you could reach out and touch it, feel it in your hands. the other girls shifted uneasily with you two in their proximity, messing with strings or keys on their instruments.

that was until chaewon clapped her hands and got everyone's attention, "okay guys, from the top."

practice went on as usual, yunjin surprisingly being in sync with the band (much to everyone's relief). the day continued with not a word being spoken by either of you two, only responding when being spoken to, not even throwing each other a glance. and when it ended, jen was the first to leave, packing up her shit and dipping so quickly. you scrambled to follow suit, not to go after her, but to not be interrogated by the older members.

unfortunately for you, sakura was already leaning against the door before you could even reach for it. chaewon had shooed away kazuha and eunchae so the two older girls could talk to you privately first, telling zuha to occupy the youngest (and maybe probe at yunjin). you sigh at kura's expectant expression, arms crossed and foot tapping on the floor, her eyebrows raising as if expecting you to say something. you turn to look at chaewon, her hands on her hips, the same expression plastered on her face.

you slump onto the couch, the same one yunjin had fucked you on the day before, burying your face in your hands and grumbling.

"whaaatttt?" you groan out the question into the air.

"you wanna tell me what happened after we left yesterday?" chaewon opens up first, plopping herself down onto one of the office chairs in the room, pulling it up next to you.

you turn away from her and sigh, "nothing happened."

"really? nothing happened? that's it?" sakura scoffs and leans against chaewon's chair.

you roll your eyes and rest your chin on your fist, looking up at them, "yes kura, nothing happened. why, what do you guys think?"

they exchange a look of disbelief before chaewon chuckles, "really? you and yunjin left alone in a room together to argue and nothing happened? y/n, even eunchae knows something went down."

"why? why does it matter? it's not like anything's changed," you say.

"you guys aren't talking. like shit, you guys didn't even argue today. you know how weird it is that you guys didn't even look like you wanted to murder each other?" sakura pushes.

"you know what?" you get up, collecting your stuff and heading towards the door, grabbing the handle and pulling it open, "ask yunjin then, because I don't know what the fuck happened either."

you leave, slamming the door shut. the two girls sigh and look at each other.

"what do you think happened?" chaewon asks, looking up at the older.

"could honestly be anything, but I don't think it's too wild to think that maybe it was something that made it so that they might not hate each other as much anymore," sakura contemplates, "I don't know what that might be, but something definitely happened."

on the other side of town, yunjin sits at a convenience store, triangle kimbap in one hand, her face in the other. she groans when she hears a familiar voice calling out for her.

"fuck off zuha," she grunts, feeling the chair next to her become occupied, long black hair shifting into view.

"you know what I'm here for, just tell me and I'll go. eunchae's waiting nearby expecting ice cream so I expect you to make it quick," kazuha boldly states, arms crossed on the table, leaning in towards jennifer.

she lifts her head up and glares at the younger girl with a scowl, "and why the fuck would I ever tell you anything?"

the former smirks, "why? do you have something to hide?"

yunjin aggressively takes a bite out of her rice ball and replies, mouth stuffed, "it's not like you cared about anything else before, why're you here now?"

"because unlike your bitch ass, I actually care about y/n. if you did something to her, I'll never forgive you jennifer," kazuha states.

yunjin looks up at her with her jaw clenched, kazuha's eyes fiery and wild. it makes her scoff, "gee, if you wanted to fuck y/n that bad, you could've just said so."

kazuha grabs the taller girl's collar and balls the material in her hand, "if you hurt y/n yunjin, I'll end you. I don't care about your guys' petty and childish arguments but whatever happened yesterday made her look like a shell of her former self. you did something, and I need to know what."

jen gulped. she had never seen her bandmate so enraged before, her expression angry and serious. while on the inside yunjin was pretty shaken up, she kept the facade of looking relaxed on as she releases a shaky sigh and responds.

"that is none of your business kazuha. if you cared so much about her, ask y/n yourself."

it's not fair and jen knew it. she was the one that snapped back at you in the first place yesterday, resulting in the arguing, and was also the one to initiate the sex. but she didn't know what to say. to be frank, she was scared. she woke up before you did, panicked while looking around the abandoned practice room, laying on top of your sleeping body. the wave of guilt that washed over her when she processed everything that had happened, scrambling to get dressed and leave before you awoke.

she didn't know what to do. she was the one that started the mess, but she didn't know how to clean it up.

the fire continued to rage in kazuha's eyes, drilling holes through yunjin's head. she let out an angry huff before releasing the girl's collar and standing up straight.

"I don't give a fuck about you yunjin nor do I want to and I really don't care about getting to know you. but even after that, what I do know is that you're either stupid or a fucking coward."

with that, she turned and left the store (heading off to buy eunchae some ice cream no doubt!).

her words resonate in yunjin's head. coward... she's right... I'm a fucking coward, she thought.

it didn't get better with time. everyone just became more on edge and the tension in that practice room never diminished. after the older members discussed their conversation with you to kazuha and vice versa about the yunjin conversation, they were just left a little more lost. they didn't wanna recruit the sweet and innocent youngest and get her wrapped up in the situation, but she was already unfortunately caught in crossfire at this point. and so they did.

eunchae asking you to walk her home today because everybody else was too busy to accompany her, so you say yes because that's your baby! rushing you two out of the door after practice is over and telling her to just stay silent the entire trip to her place. it pained you to a degree to make the talkative younger girl stay silent, but for both you and her, it was better to keep it this way. though of course, your little baby was just too curious (and obedient to sakura, chaewon, and kazuha) to listen to your demand.

"I know it's not really my place to ask, but you and yunjin... the tension is messing us all up and it's not helping," the youngest speaks up.

you sigh and stop walking, breathing out into the cold air with your hands shoved in your pockets. she stops walking too, a couple steps away to give you your space.

you continue to look up into the night sky, "I know eunchae, I know."

the silence hangs with you looking up and her looking down, the cement less intimidating then your pondering posture.

"it's... complicated," you state in the easiest way you deem possible, "we don't like each other, at least that's what I thought. I suppose maybe something changed, but yunjin's too fucking shallow to admit anything."

eunchae's attention is immediately grabbed by your decision to open up. she looks up from the floor and at you, curious eyes in your peripheral coming from the girl.

"you haven't talked to her yet? I mean, since a few days ago? or at all?" a simple question and maybe even solution falls from the younger's lips, if only she understood how hard it was.

you heave a sigh, hanging your hand and then looking back up, "no, to all three questions."

"well, why not?"

"she's..." you stifle a laugh, "insane, to say the least. rude, mean, always angry. it's like if I even try, she wouldn't even listen."

she nods her head slowly, "maybe you can try now. you've never tried before right? maybe after everything that happened, you can finally try."

you stare at her for a few seconds, the sound of cars passing by on the street next to you. a small smile creeps onto your face and you blink slowly at the younger. what a good kid.

"okay eunchae, I'll try," you grab for her hand, taking it in your own, and walk her to the nearest place to get ice cream.

yunjin always goes out on nights like this to her favorite spot. everyone knows to find her there, sitting or laying down on a blanket looking up at the sky or leaning against the railing looking out towards the city lights. the roof of her apartment building, 12 floors up, music playing from her speaker, and an alcoholic drink in her grasp at times. lord knows, tonight she needs it. the past few nights she's needed it.

the elevator dings and the doors open to the rooftop. you walk out and there she is, leaning against the railing, face resting against her fist, her other hand swirling the half empty bottle of beer, looking out towards the night lights as music played. you take a deep breath and make your way reluctantly towards her. she doesn't budge when you take up the space a few feet away from her, standing with your hands in your jacket pockets, following her gaze of the view.

the silence is, comfortable. the tension is there but you're existing in the same area as yunjin and you're not screaming at each other (yet), so it's peaceful for as long as it lasts. and it lasts for a long time. standing there, breathing the same air, listening to the same music, heart beats increasing at the same rate, thoughts of what to say to break the silence both ringing in your heads.

surprisingly, you hear her voice begin, "you know, I really need you to be the person to speak first."

"you and I both know that's not fair, jen. you can't be the one to fuck everything up and make me be the person to repair it."

it's so much easier for her to be mad at you if you're the one to unleash anger at her. it'd be so much easier to hate you if you hated her. it'd be so much easier to say what she wanted to say if you felt the same way and told her first.

she stutters, you can see her eyes flicker out of the corner of your vision, "you... you're right."

yunjin repeats the phrase under her breath as you turn your head to look at her. her hands are messing with the glass bottle, stare affixed onto it.

she sighs and hangs her head, "I-I... I'm scared y/n."

you barely hear her speak, but it's loud enough for you to process, feeling your rapidly beating heart stop. huh yunjin is scared. she's scared and it's because of you.

you bite the inside of your cheek as she continues to stutter, "I don't know what this is, what I'm feeling. I-I'm confused. I fucking hate you, god I hate you so much. you annoy me, you anger me, you enrage me, everything you do makes my blood boil. so why can't I stop thinking about you? why do I feel so obsessed with you? you're the only thing that lives in my mind."

she looks up at the sky before continuing, "I've never been so fucking infatuated with a person in my entire life, so why now? and why you? what is it that I'm feeling? I get so angry with you, when you finally fuck something up, when you yell at me, when you roll your eyes because of me. I deserve the way you treat me, but you don't deserve that, so why do I do it? I've thought about it a lot but I don't want to anymore. why are you always in my head?"

you take the smallest step towards her and clear your throat to respond, but she stops you, "I know you're just friends with kazuha, but I can't help but feel my stomach churn when you're with her. I know it's a simple mistake when you misplace my hairbrush or accidentally eat my share of food, but I can't help but to snap at you. I know it's my fault for giving my less than adequate effort during practice, but it's so much easier to get angry at you for caring. you're just so perfect all the time, I can't help but to despise you for it. and I hate that maybe the part of me that hates you doesn't exist. I'm..."

"jealous," you finally get a word in, interrupting her instead of letting her finish.

it's true. she felt good whenever you would fuck up because it meant perfect little y/n wasn't so perfect. always writing or composing new music, always practicing and refining her craft, always being the nicest to the members, always trying and being the absolute best. yunjin felt threatened because she couldn't relate. yunjin felt jealous because she wanted what you had, stability. yunjin also felt jealous because she wanted you, and she couldn't have you.

the silence engulfs the air surrounding the two of you, the cold breeze suddenly heating up. it breaks early, your laugh piercing through the stillness, making the dark haired girl turn her head to look at you. you continue to laugh genuinely, the melodious sound ringing through yunjin's confused ears.

you sigh after recovering, wiping tears in your eyes, "did you just admit that you have a crush on me with all of that?"

the tall girl gulps and stumbles over her words, "h-huh? wh-what no? no no never! I mean what the fuck are you talking about? I-I was just trying to e-explain~!"

you run up and grasp her face in your hands, smashing your lips against hers, shutting her up quickly. her eyes bulge out of their sockets, looking down at your closed ones melting into her. she settles after the shock subsides, closing her eyes and bringing her hands to grip your waist, throwing the half full beer bottle onto the floor somewhere, not caring about it shattering. she pulls you in closer, moving her lips against yours passionately as you push her back against the railing.

the kiss is so intimate, your fingers lacing through her hair and her calloused fingertips rubbing the skin of your lower back. your mouths mold together as one moving unit, tongues clashing and saliva building up, the taste of cheap alcohol on yunjin's lips mixing with your melon ice cream flavored ones. you makeout until you can't breathe, your grips becoming stronger and stronger as the both of you beg the other not to pull away even if you so badly need to, pulling each other in closer like it's a challenge to stop if you dare do so.

it ends when her fingernails dig into your sides and a choked breath escapes your throat, pulling away a little in pain, panting and almost coughing like the air had been sucked from your lungs. you bury your face into her neck and bite down on her skin until you hear her whine at the pain, looking down to see the indent of your teeth, leaning back in to make a hickey, marking your territory on huh yunjin.

you whisper loud enough for her to hear against her skin, "you are fucking stupid and a coward, just a scared little girl."

she closes her eyes at your words and your mouth on her neck, "but if you try to be a better person, then maybe I'm okay with it."

"I'm sorry y/n, for everything." yunjin pulls you away from her and makes you look into her sorry-filled eyes.

you bring your hand up to caress her cheek then pinch it, giggling in her face, "you better be jen. you have a lot of work to do before you get a free redemption arc, you know that right?"

she bites her lip and nods, "I-I know..."

you feel your heart fill with warmth as yunjin's cheeks burn a bright red and darken as time goes on. ah, you're never letting her live this down.

you remember to buy a gallon tub of ice cream for hong eunchae.

a/n - everyone say TYSM EUNCHAEEEE!!! never thought I'd expand on this universe but this was fun to revisit! the og has gotten so much fucking love in the past TWO MONTHS NOW so ty guys for the support on it, I never thought I'd make it this far <333 sob sob I love yall

[widiaramadanihefram]

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[tragedy-of-commons]

featured

*in lieu of a masterlist, here are the works i choose to display; you're still welcome to go hunting for any of my old stuff by sifting through my tags though!

☆ genshin impact

paying off kaveh's debt〈 〉kaveh concept/drabble. ambiguous. wc ≤ 1k.

↳ he doesn't need you to clean up his messes.

"who did this to you?"〈 〉xiao drabble. romantic. wc ≤ 1k.

↳ you can fight your own battles. you can.

"wanna make a bet?"〈 〉ayato drabble. romantic. wc ≤ 1k.

↳ sometimes, you can be cheekier than him.

☆ honkai: star rail

a deciduous thing〈 〉boothill oneshot. ambiguous. wc: 4.5k.

↳ [modern au] never in your life did you think that your peaceful day-to-day would grind to a halt after one of your scarecrows comes to life. apparently, his name is boothill, and he's insistent on making your life 10x harder than it has to be.

until tomorrow〈 〉black swan oneshot. queerplatonic. wc: 1.9k.

↳ [modern au] your love is different.

"you're burning up."〈 〉aventurine drabble. romantic. wc ≤ 1k.

↳ [modern au] feverish.

☆ touchstarved

you could kill him right now.〈 〉kuras drabble. ambiguous. wc ≤ 1k.

↳ no one is ever as they seem.

☆ more

[everybody talks] 200 follower event!

[isrohefram]

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