#kunikida would just.... not be able to make more stuff while Dazai is touching him?? idk I am an imposter and a fraud
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benetnvsch · 1 year ago
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WAIT WAIT- playing through the current Mayoi event for the first time and ?? Kunikida makes perfectly edible food from his notebook which the others enjoy ,, which ,, idk I just figured organic things were off the table which once again makes me wonder,,
Can Kunikida create life (what would happen if he wrote something like idk, worm,,, baby squirrel,, or something do we know)
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tender-rosiey · 3 years ago
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WHAT THEY DO WHEN THEY MISS YOU
— (bsd version)
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ᴀ/ɴ: YAYYYYYYYY, i slept the whole day today but i am done with the post so that’s good; i have to nag my project partners for their parts so god give me patience. i hope you like this guys! <33
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KUNIKIDA DOPPO: he is a man who likes order and discipline so when he misses you, he likes to connect between two things he loves, maybe one more than the other. with your granted permission before, he proceeds to organize and arrange your things so they can be more accessible for you; when you are back, he tells you about where he put everything so you don’t feel confused or can’t find something by yourself.
RANPO EDOGAWA: aside from sighing, whining and huffing every single minute like a drama prince, he links anything and everything anyone says to you. someone is talking about shopping? “y/n is doing that right now.” someone is talking about a type of food? “y/n hates that type of stuff, why are you talking about it?” may I add that everytime he speaks up he ends it with a pout? so when you get back, you are met with a happy ranpo with a wagging tail.
AKUTAGAWA RYUUNOSUKE: with his already rather grumpy nature, he easily becomes a walking time-bomb. you will always hear him grumbling about everything and anything; he also becomes significantly more easy to tick off. when he sees you, it’s an evident change in how he is acting. he sticks around you even more than before but not the type of a hand on your waist but more of just being in your presence.
NAKAJIMA ATSUSHI: every time you go out on a date, he keeps at least one thing that reminds him of the date. he keeps in a small wooden box hidden in his room, and he takes it out whenever you are out and he misses you. he would look through all of them and reminisce the events related to them with a goofy and lovesick smile on his face. he got caught by dazai once and he never wanted a hole to swallow him more, he had to aggressively strangle dazai so he won’t say anything.
NAKAHARA CHUUYA: chuuya is a man of money, a man of power, a man of status and most importantly a man of love. when he is out in the town because of a mission or you are the one on a mission, he likes to go around shops and get anything that reminds him of you and feels that you will like it. a lot of your clothes are bought that way too, he thinks that it will compliment your figure and that it’s your taste. unsurprisingly he never got you anything that you didn’t like or didn’t fit, and when you come back he likes to hype you up if you are trying on something.
DAZAI OSAMU: dazai loves books and even while his precious guide of suicide is his most precious treasure, he likes to read the books you have, specifically the one you annotated and put little notes in. that’s after he throws his drama king tantrum though and annoys kunikida till he gets white hair. and even if you don’t read books that much then he will ask you to at least read one and annotate it and you won’t be able to escape his persuasion. he can spend hours reading your cute notes and marks in the books and sometimes it makes him laugh whole-heartedly. when you come back, he proceeds to lively tell you about what he read and pulls you into a crushing hug.
EDGAR ALLAN POE: a quilt, a pen, a pencil and a piece of paper, these have been poe’s best friends for quite some time, aside from karl. he returns to them when you are not around him, and proceeds to write till his heart’s content. however, it isn’t any writing. they are all poems and short stories where he pours his feelings for you. something that brings him so much peace and happiness when you aren’t there with the gentle touch that he adores so much. though it would be on his dead body if he ever shows you them, unless you find them behind his back.
TACHIHARA MICHIZO: he isn’t shy instead shameless. so said man proceeds to brag about you and talk about you for hours with literally anyone when you are gone. the bragging is doubled whenever it’s around his enemies, because what’s better to rile them up other than the fact they will never have someone like you? aside from the fact that they are just gagging at his lovesick talk, there isn’t any ill feelings honestly. that is if you don’t count being scared shitless because they are going to die.
TANIZAKI JUNICHIRO: naomi is always teasing him for it. for what? for just how head over heels he is for you. when he isn’t in your comforting and precious presence, he tends to zone out a lot. minding wondering and dreaming of a world where he can be peacefully in your arms with nothing to do other than love each other. too bad he can’t dream for long as well because he gets scolded as quickly as he the time it takes for him to zone out. he thinks it’s all worth it when you are back though, why wouldn’t he?
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taglist: @magenta-cat-drawingss @pompompurin1028 @scul-pted @dazaisdeathwish @requiem626k @nameless-shrimp @shinys-bsd-world-1 @sonder-paradise @ravenina14 @jessbeinme15 @todorokichills @ginneko @missrown @shrynkk @simplyxsinned
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copyright © 2020 tender-rosiey
do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported
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ashthemadwriter-archived · 2 years ago
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Hi,
Can I request bsd males with a female reader who is shy around boys and sometimes even awkward, but because she hasn't had much interactions with boys before, so she doesn't know how to talk to them. Thanks, and have a great day/night!
BSD boys with a shy Fem!Reader
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Fandom:Bungou Stray Dogs Pairings:Atsushi, Dazai, Chuuya X Fem!reader Genre:Fluff, Humour Format:Headcanons Warnings:None Word Count:0.8K A/n:ofc baby! sorry for keeping you waiting all this time :)
I only did some of them since you didnt specify the characters you wanted. did them separately, and reader is their colleague.Not proofread as always hehe.
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Atsushi Nakajime
Totally understands you.
Like, its ok! Youre shy, hes shy, you have something in common at least!
His shyness does not stop him from trying to make conversation with you tho. Its true that you were kinda avoiding him and turned red whenever you ran into him, but you seem like a really nice person! He wants to be friends with you (maybe he wants something more, but is too shy to consider it)
you seemed really comfortable around Yosano and Naomi, but why were you so awkward around him? was he the problem? as always?
Well he obviously wasnt, but he wont find out unless you tell him. he'll try to get close to you again, and will blame himself even more when you continue shying away from him. it'll be more like an emotional damage, since you became one of the persons he admires.
but he does feel better when you open up a bit around him. not making up a lame axcuse and leave the room the minute he entered it like you usually did, and actually talk to him while gently smiling at him, he suddenly gets it.
He might not be the problem. you were just a normal person, and were acting like one. you werent the type of person who would immediately hit it off with other people, and unfortunately he was surrounded with so many peope like this (Dazai) that he didnt even bother to consider that theory.
so yeah. hes relieved that he isnt the problem, but he has something else to worry about now; which is how stunning and beautiful you are now that you became a bit closer with him and has made a few attemps to touch him (in a normal way). His poor heart might not be able to handle it <3
Osamu Dazai
this bitch
realises the reason at a first glance
you know that he LOVES teasing people, right? so basically, whenever youre focusing on something, he just shows up out of the blue and scares surprises you by hitting tapping on your shoulder, which makes you jump in the spot. "Hey Y/n-Chan! how are you doing today! looking stunning as ever, i see!"
he wasnt able to finish his sentence once because you accidentally punched him lol. it was really embarrassing given that he was your superior and stuff.
LOVES making physical contact. claims that hes not doing them unpurpose, but when your body completely sticks to his as he reaches over to grab something from the shelf, you know its not an accident.
hitting on you literally all the time. uses every chance he gets to send multiple pick up lines at you, and often gets scolded by Kunikida cause its not really appropriate to do this with a newbie.
when you finally get used to him and even start flirting back at some point, hes over the edge. like, he didnt know anyone could be this hot while saying stuff like that! hes even more attracted to you now.
will start other stuff as well. buying stuff for you when hes supposed to be focusing on the mission, picking out flowers because theyre pretty, he bets they look better on you hair.
Chuuya Nakahara
I dont think hes the smooth type of guy when it comes to woman. i mean hes not shy (not until you unexpectedly make a move on him lol) but hes not like Dazai either, So its a lot easier with him. he doesnt try to fluster you, or make unnecessary conversations.
but it is a bit odd to him. how you turn into a tomato whenever he talks to you. he doesnt even say something embarrassing or uncomfortable, then why are you like this?
"great. another weird person"
or maybe its not that weird.
anyway, this guy is gold, so he wont try to tease you about it, but like Atsushi, when he sees you being smooth around other people and actually make conversation with them, he gets pissed.
like what? hes not good enough or something? or perhaps he somehow managedto harm you and doesnt know about it?
and he gets so pissed (since he kinda likes you) that he comes to you and asks you straight up.
"Hey! do you have a problem with me?" Y/n: panics* "W-What? N-No! " "then why am i the only one youre avoiding? did i do something to you?" "no...its just that..."
when you manage to tell him that what the real problem is, hes surprised. all the people around him were different from you, acting like they know each other and their weaknesses for ages on their first meeting, so he never even considered this possibility.
he quickly apologises and leaves you alone, but that makes you feel bad. like, maybe youre making other people uncomfortable too, by acting like this.
so the next day when you actually go to him and start a normal conversation, hes happy. at first he thinks youre doing it out of pitty, embarrassment or something like that, but he gets even happier when you tell him youre not.
hopefully these normal conversations turn into something more :)
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ajaxxed · 3 years ago
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bungou stray dogs x sick!reader headcannons
includes: fyodor, nikolai, dazai, chuuya, atsushi, and kunikida x gn reader
this is my first work so please have mercy on me
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𝘍𝘺𝘰𝘥𝘰𝘳 𝘋𝘰𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘦𝘷𝘴𝘬𝘺
i feel like he has a weak immune system, so he gets sick often yet is used to it so he doesn’t show any symptoms
with that being said, this including his smarts means that you will likely be better in 1-2 business days
he almost IMMEDIATELY notices you’re sick the minute you show anything close to a symptom
“symptom” could be something as small as being more tired to him, he’s just very observant
he rushes you to bed to make sure you’re laying down before it really hits you
cause when it does it’s HELL
he makes sure there’s water, medicine, and crackers on your bedside table at all times
he also leaves extra blankets on your bed if you get too cold
he’s obviously a busy man (yk taking over yokohama, as he should) so he can’t be by your side as much as he would prefer, but he checks on you every 30-90 minutes
he also makes sure that at the designated times you take your medicine
and if you don’t he shoves it down your throat!
also makes sure you’re drinking plenty water and eating
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𝘕𝘪𝘬𝘰𝘭𝘢𝘪 𝘎𝘰𝘨𝘰𝘭
surprisingly very observant?? and calm?? like sir what
“oh you aren’t feeling good are you. huh? yeah i was able to tell this morning”
he tries to stay as not-like-himself as possible to hopefully not give you a headache because he knows how much those suck
but the minute your in bed and he’s out your room on a mission to get you medicine and stuff he’s freaking the actual fuck out
if you guys don’t have anything in your medicine cabinet he just goes to the nearest drug store and steals some, not without leaving you with no water of course
if you’re not done with the water by the time he’s back he’s making you down it with the medicine by the way
for an insane clown he’s very keen on water
tries to be by your side as much as he can, if he can’t, he tries to check up on you as much as possible
same case if you wanna be left alone for a bit or you wanna sleep
even with your illness he still tries to kiss you a ton, you have to stop him cause you don’t want him getting ill
does it anyways
in the case you are asleep or something, he goes and does something on his own, like watching tv for example
maybe even going out to cause mayhem depends on his mood
whenever he gets back from… that, he checks to see if you need anything that he could help you with
if there is, he gets it done immediately
like record time type shit
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𝘖𝘴𝘢𝘮𝘶 𝘋𝘢𝘻𝘢𝘪
uses this as an excuse to stay home from work
taunts you a liiittle bit for getting sick, but it’s really just him fucking with you
of course, he hates seeing you like this and tries to help with you with anything and everything
he makes sure that you don’t feel uncomfortable in the slightest, and if you do he does anything he can to fix it
making sure you have enough blankets, food, water, whatever your heart may desire he gets it for you
while he isn’t an amazing cook in the slightest, he tries to make you your favorite canned soup
most likely by default if they didn’t have the one you like he’s getting you chicken noodle with the little noodle shapes
like disney princesses or stars just cause
he can and will feed it to you wether you can eat on your own or not
“open your mouth or [name] i swear you’re gonna get hot broth all over your shirt.”
also might try to add medicine to your soup
why not, it’s a fun lil touch to the princess noodle soup and you have to take it anyways so
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𝘕𝘢𝘬𝘢𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘢 𝘊𝘩𝘶𝘶𝘺𝘢
he absolutely hates anything involving illness
wether it be him being sick, hearing about sickness, seeing someone sick, etc it makes him grossed out for some reason
so when he finds out you aren’t feeling good he has a decision to make
help you, his beloved s/o, or leave you to help yourself
he obviously helps you. yes he may kill several people per month but he isn’t a monster
he isn’t in the room with you a ton though, as expected but he does make sure you aren’t dying and you’re taking your medicine and stuff
and don’t get me wrong: he cares about and loves you more than you could imagine, but he physically cannot handle sickness
he does make you tea though, especially if you have a sore throat
if you fall asleep expect to wake up to water and or tea, some fruit, medicine and a little paper crane on your bedside
he didn’t know if the crane would cheer you up
he also didn’t know what else to give you based on the limited amount of experience he has
sure, while he was in the sheep if a member was ill he would try to help
the sheep is also where is disgust with sickness started
if you’re someone who gets sick often though he will try his best to get over his issue with sickness as best as he can
he will still try to make sure he doesn’t catch whatever the hell you have though
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𝘈𝘵𝘴𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘪 𝘕𝘢𝘬𝘢𝘫𝘪𝘮𝘢
growing up he had a really weak immune system, with time however it strengthened
so with that being said, while in the orphanage he would get sick often and had to treat himself
therefore he knows more about how to treat sicknesses than one could imagine
he would make you tea on rice (and a bowl for him as well) to help your throat if it was dry/sore, giving you water with it
he makes sure you drink a ton of water too
you also will have medicine shoved down your throat
on the topic of medicine, he doesn’t know exactly what to get you
in the orphanage he wasn’t able to have medicine so he resorted to a ton of water and hot foods he could keep down
so now he doesn’t know what medicine to have
he feels extremely bad for it but he calls kunikida (and if he doesn’t wanna disturb him he calls yosano) for help since they’re good with this kinda stuff
with their info he goes to a nearby drugstore to get tylenol and whatever else they tell him
when he gets back though is when it’s shoved down your throat
is by your side 24/7 making sure you’re ok
if you want to rest he will go do something else quietly, making sure not to disrupt you in the slightest
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𝘒𝘶𝘯𝘪𝘬𝘪𝘥𝘢 𝘋𝘰𝘱𝘱𝘰
kinda inconvenienced by it because of the fact it changes his entire schedule
so as soon as he finds out, he lets out the deepest sigh and rips out the paper in his notebook to redo his schedule
“i don’t feel that go-“ RIIIIIP
he obviously doesn’t wanna get sick as well, so he tries to distance himself a bit
he still will stay by you no matter what but he doesn’t hug/kiss you due to it
he does kiss you on your forehead if you get pouty about it though
unlike dazai he’s a great cook, so he makes you some of the best soup you’ve ever had so you can keep down good food
every few hours he makes sure you have your medicine, and if you’re asleep at the time he just waits a little bit
i feel like during his time as a teacher he had accumulated a ton of fluffy blankets so he gives you those
most of those are gifts from his former students
you will also get refilled on water every hour because he’s well…. him
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again this is my first time writing and posting it so please lmk if this is ok 😭 also PLEASE SEND IN REQUESTS!!!! whatever you want with whichever character works lol
also if you’re an active writer on here please give me tips i’m begging
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whorefordazai · 4 years ago
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some nsfw headcanons of dazai, ranpo, kunikida and atsushi getting hit by a gender swap or body swap ability and their girlfriend just like shows them what it feels like for her whilst doing the seggsy time?! :0
YA’LL ARE SO CREATIVE BAHAHA🤸‍♀️💨
a/n: since you didn’t specify if you wanted the boys to gender bend, I’m assuming you mean a female reader who can change her body into a male’s, so that’s what I’ll write (IF IT’S NOT I’M VERY SORRY!) part of me thinks you mean that the boys are the ones swapping genders, so if this isn’t what you wanted, feel free to request again! I’ll be more than happy to do it <3
s/o with a gender/body swap ability
ft. dazai | ranpo | kunikida | atsushi x reader
genre: fluff, nsfw
warnings: slight depictions of sex
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Dazai
(I know very well his ability could nullify yours but for the sake of these headcannons, let’s pretend it doesn’t)
Dazai already knew you had a gender swap ability, he’s seen you use it in cunning ways during missions.
Being able to manipulate and deceive others in different bodies...it definitely caught his eye.
But did he expect you to activate it in the bedroom? no ಠ◡ಠ
So now that we’ve gone over the basics, we’ll start with the spicy stuff.
He’s even more of a soft dom if you were to transform into a guy.
When you first suggested it, his eyes popped out of his sockets.
“ARE...ARE YOU SURE?!”
“Yes Dazai...we don’t have to do it if you don’t want to...”
“IT’S FINE🙌 I want to...do it🙂”
You’re kinda surprised as to why he seems so prepared ◕‿◕?
You’d be the one riding him with his hands gripping your waist. He’s more of a tease, always pushing you to your breaking point.
When he sees your face morphed into a concentrated arousal, he’d nibble on your earlobe and say “Ah, see how you’re so needy for my cock?”
You can only nod, feeling his tip twitch against your walls and hitting all the right spots.
When your head falls onto his shoulder from exhaustion, he’d let out a small chuckle. Still on sitting on his lap, he’d wrap his arms around you and pull you closer to him.
“You did such a great job, babe.”
Now the big question: would he let you peg him?
◕ ◡ ◕
Maybe if you don’t tell anyone 👉👈 and only as a guy, because he likes to dom women🤸‍♀️
It’s his secret not so guilty pleasure
If you decide to top, he won’t have any objections. His bottom side really comes out when in the moment😏
Just imagine him bent over, your chest flushed against his back. Whispering in his ear “we should try this more, yeah? Does it feel good, baby?”
Would only mumble a “y-yeah” in response, forehead against the wall and eyes closed shut.
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Ranpo
This mf would be so excited LMAO
He’s never encountered anything like this before, especially when it comes to being his girlfriend 😏
Dom Ranpo supremacy ‼️
Doesn’t matter if you’ve got a dick or pussay, he’ll be the one railing you.
His eyes finally open ^o^!
In bed, he likes to make sure you know he’s the world’s greatest detective along with the world’s greatest other things😁
You thought he had no problem finding your clit, ohoho you’re in for a treat when you decide to swap your gender🤸‍♀️
Much like Dazai, he’ll be a tease but more of the silent type. He’ll have an innocent looking smile when you’re on his dick, sitting on his lap(◠‿◠)
He puts his hat on you while you’re riding him😚
If he were to dom, it’s doggy style. Your back all the way arched, face against the mattress. He thinks doing it on the bed is comfier.
He would have a red lollipop in his mouth while pounding on you from the back. His hands gripping your waist as tears prick your eyes from arousal.
HOLY SHATT🏃🏼‍♀️💨
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Kunikida
This man already knew about your gender swap ability. He liked it. He thought it was efficient, quick, and got the job done.
Even though it wasn’t in his ideals, he let it slide since you were his girlfriend.
Sex is generally normal for him, he’s the top always pounding into you 🥰
But when you suggest gender swapping your body during seggy time😏⁉️
His jaw drops along with his body.
Takes him a while to understand the situation because this is definitely not in his ideals??
But he’s definitely curious because he’s never tried it with...a man???? (So much confusion on his part)
But nevertheless, he somehow found himself pounding into you from the back.
Don’t worry, it didn’t properly register for him yet. Give it a few days.
Turns out he enjoys it more than he thought he would.
“I’ll make sure to write this in my ideals book.” His breath pants onto the back of your neck, arms wrapped around your waist and chest flushed against your back.
KUNIKIDAAA🏃🏼‍♀️💨💨
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Atsushi
I believe in switch Atsushi supremacy
When you first suggest swapping your body, he’s like what for🙂?
When you tell him it’s for sex, he’s like 🙂⁉️
He’s shy when it comes to any type of touching, what makes you think he’ll be ecstatic for whatever you have planned?
But nevertheless, he agrees😏
He’s a shy soft dom for the first time 😳
“A-am I doing this right?” He mumbles, positioning your ass against his hips. You manage to nod, feeling his tip unintentionally rub against your hole. Your eyes roll back, a soft moan leaving your lips as you grip the sheets under you.
“W-wait, I didn’t even do anything yet!”
“God, Atsushi. You have no idea what you’re doing to me.”
He immediately goes beet red 🎈
Now, when you’re on his lap, he’s an even more blushing mess.
You tilt his chin up towards you. His eyebrows were furrowed, biting his lip from keeping in noises. Eyes shut closed from arousal.
You smirk. “Look at me while I’m fucking you, pretty boy.”
Anyways🙂
a/n: should I do a gender bend with the boys😏?
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letters-from-eros · 4 years ago
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I know you don't have rules for that already but can I ask for relationship hc's for Chuuya and Dazai with a fem or gender neutral s/o?😳❤
A/N: Am I foaming from the mouth for my first BSD request? Maybe. I hope this is good though. I added in a short part on how they asked you out cause I wanted this to be different and unique from most dating HCs.
Pairing(s): Dazai Osamu, Chuuya Nakahara x GN!Reader
Warnings: Slight mention of suicide in Dazai's, cursing
Form: Headcanon
Also: These ran super duper long I'm so sorry
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You managed to cuff the suicidal maniac, huh?
Well done, my friend, well done
It took him so long to ask you out, and even when he did it wasn't planned. In all honesty, he never planned to tell you about his feelings. The excruciating part for him is that he did fall pretty fast, and realized he was falling even faster.
He didn't deny them, that wouldn't make it go away. He knew that. He sat and let it festered, hoping it would just disappear at some point.
Had the mindset of anything he loved he'd lose, y'know? Sad but so.
The way I'd imagine it happening is that you both are either working late at the ADA (with just the two of you there) or just at his place hanging out into all hours of the night.
Both of you are laughing at some dumb joke Dazai made and as the laughter dies out he feels.. Bittersweet. You make him feel genuinely happy, like there's no need to put on any mask or facade. That was not a feeling he had with anyone else.
Once silence fully overtakes you both it slips out of his mouth, purely on accident.
"I love you"
"More than suicide?"
"Y/n I'm serious!"
From that night forward you had the pleasure of being the partner of Dazai Osamu, with his feelings being released in an extremely cliche coming-of-age-movie way.
Okay, onto actually dating Dazai
Still goofy as all hell. Honestly the only thing that has really changed is the he lets you in a lot less hesitantly on small things. Its easier to put cracks in his walls, per se
Unbothered by PDA and will probably make out with you in public and not see why that isn't a thing that should be done or why you wouldn't like it.
(Just tell him if you don't, he'll get over it eventually)
Will kiss you everywhere, doesn't exactly have a favorite place, but where he does end up kissing you the most is your forehead for convenience. He'll kiss your wrist if he's holding your hand, too.
Clingy as all hell, always wants to be touching you in some way and becomes the biggest dramatic bitch when he can't be around you.
Kunikida will actually punt him if he says he'll die if he's away from you for another second. For the tenth time
No more suicide attempts once you two are dating, and doesn't ask for a double suicide with you because he knows it'll upset you quite a bit
He flirts with you like he's trying to get you to date him lmao he will never ease up, especially if it gets you bashful.
Dazai would NOT be dating you if he did not trust you a whole lot, so thats something that is pretty vital to the relationship.
That being said, please be understanding of the pieces of Dazai he keeps locked away to never see the light of day again and trust him just as much as he trust you. Its important especially if you don't want the relationship to be one-sided
Also with the high amount of trust he places in you, he doesn't get jealous easily. I mean he may get pissy that you're not giving him any attention but jealous is never the right word to use
Mf finally washes his fucking clothes once he starts dating you. Doesn't smell like the bottom of the ocean on a regular basis anymore.
Dates are always chill and rarely super extravagant. Park dates are often but Dazai's truly preferred date is snuggling inside, watching a few movies and slipping in and out of naps.
Belladonna is his go-to petname for you, of course, but he may bounce around with other petnames for kicks.
He will start calling you weird shit if you ignore him for to long.
Never raises his voice at you unless its in some joking manner. On the rare occurrence that you two have an argument he would need to get extremely riled up before he resorts to raising his voice. He tries to have patience and usually succeeds.
Dazai gets SO soft and SO loving sometimes, and it can be out of no where or something minuscule could have sparked it. All I know is that its nice and cute 🥰
He's usually pretty vulnerable himself when he gets like that so match his energy, alright? If you don't he might end up a little sour for some short amount of time and be more hesitant to get like that
10/10 Lover. This is by no means an effortless relationship, its a constant battle of figuring out boundaries, running into walls and respecting them. Dating Dazai isn't toxic if you treat him right and when you do? It definitely pays off.
(This got so long. I've had so much pent-up Dazai love and all around BSD love and I finally had an outlet to completely let it out)
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HUSBAND. THE LOML
Okay, sorry. But this man is the love of my life, and he will be yours as well.
Took him a while to really figure out his feelings for you, or to better put it, it took him a while to label the feeling he had towards you "love"
But ONCE HE DID mans was practically whipped before you officially started dating omg.
You could notice the shift in attitude when he figured out his feelings. He got nervous, went stiff and blushy all against his will. Maybe a tad bit more snappy.
He'd try to keep his cool and then just eat shit and become a babbling angry mess.
After every encounter and interaction with you he'd end up overthinking all of it and when he catches himself doing that he gets so upset with himself. It's really when he realized that he won't be able to keep his feelings a secret forever.
Definitely started avoiding you when planning on the 🌈perfect🌈 way to ask you out and blamed work if you asked him why he was avoiding you.
Anyway, the way he asks you out was almost as calculated as a proposal.
He asks you to meet him at the port and dress comfortably towards the end of the day
When you get there, Chuuya has a nice place set up for you both. A blanket and a bottle of expensive wine because we all know he's lowkey an alcoholic along with a very nice view of the ocean/port.
Chuuya made sure it didn't radiate too much romantic energy to give his plans away; also, he wasn't that nervous. Once he gets truly determined to do something, he doesn't let something like anxiety get in the way of it. The idea of being rejected was essentially an afterthough
Made an effort to make sure he didn't drink too much and neither did you. He didn't want to take advantage of the possibility of you being drunk by the time he asks you out and he knows he himself has a low tolerance
Once the sun began to set is when he asks. Stutters a little bit towards the beginning but smooths it out.
"Y/n, I uh.. I brought you to tell you that I love you."
"Have you drank too much already, Chuuya?"
"No! I'm completely sober!"
It was overall super cute and unforgettable, just as he planned.
Honestly, being in a relationship with this boy is just 🥰
Spoils you so much. You'll deadass be dripped out head to toe purely in stuff Chuuya has bought you.
Dw, he has an alright sense of fashion
Don't try to discourage him, that'll only get him to buy more stuff.
Chuuya's short and the concept of a size difference doesn't bother him at all, he'll find a way to kiss you regardless lol
On the topic of kissing, his favorite places are your lips and hands
He takes of his gloves whenever he's with you and let me tell you his hands are the softest things ever. Albeit his knuckles are a little calloused sometimes.
If you're anything like me, you'd want his soft hands on you 24/7 and y'know what? Chu would happily oblige.
He isn't like the biggest fan of PDA but certainly isn't against it. He'd rather keep things behind doors as much as he can. Holding hands and small kisses on the cheek are very fine by him.
He isn't like the biggest jealous type? He doesn't become overly irate or anything but certainly doesn't take any pleasure in watching you talk to other guys.
Chuuya does have some form of self restraint when it comes to that. Him getting a lil jealous is one of the only things that'll have him completely make-out with you in public or smth
Chuuya is very snuggly and touchy behind closed doors. He practically becomes Dazai but a lot less goofy
Oh yeah he definitely rants about how much he fucking hates Dazai now n again
Isn't huge on petnames but definitely calls you them every now and again.
Princess, babe and baby are his top few.
Chuuya definitely has a morning voice where it drops 2 octaves and its just 🥰
Never yells at you, its pretty shocking. The only times he's ever raised his voice with you is when its very obvious that he's not genuinely upset with you. Almost for comedic affect because it is angry short boy Chuuya
One may think arguments are often with Chuuya, but they're sort of not. He may be a pretty stubborn individual but he never argues to argue unless its Dazai-
He always works towards and agreement to end the argument as soon as possible. He keeps his cool and will never raise his voice. You can barely call them arguments because of how much he tries to keep his cool.
When he's stressed or had a bad day he gets extremely quiet because he doesn't even want the opportunity to open his mouth and take it out on you. The only words he'll say to you while he's in that state is that he's stress and you didn't do anything wrong just to make sure you're not worried over it.
All and all? Chuuya is the best and there's no way around it. He has his faults but always tries to improve and be his best self for you :)
(I had even more pent-up love for Chuuya and it got even longer, whoops-)
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bungou-stray-dingus · 4 years ago
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hey!! Can I request chuuya and dazai with a s/o that’s on her period and she has to go through period cramps? I really love your writing a lot hehe
a/n : I hope you enjoy this! I added a little bonus part for this request and I hope you like the little bonus. If you do like the bonus, please don't hesitate to ask for more pieces that include bonus parts. Also.. F*** AN ANGRY UTERUS! I hate period cramps, they are awful. Much Love, DINGUS!
Dazai
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When he walked in he was used to you being there to greet him with a warm smile, a hug, and a brief kiss before pulling him to the couch to cuddle with him. That's why he slightly panicked, his eyes scanning the living room before landing on the small form on the couch covered with multiple blankets. He walked over to inspect and he saw you there, your lips turned down in a little pout, your brows pulled together and your grip on the edge of the blanket tightened as another cramp began.
"Is it that time again?" He asked, squatting down next to you. You had on one of your hoodies, the hood pulled up and the strings drawn so the hood closed in around your face. He thought you looked adorable, especially when your bottom lip jutted out and you slowly nodded your head. "I'll order some take out, and we'll just relax for the evening, how about that?" You perked up a little and he kissed the tip of your nose before standing up straight.
He had been with you long enough to know that your period would have you out of commission for the amount of time it lasted. The pain it caused differed every month, sometimes your cramps wouldn't have any affect on you at all, they were small and didn't cause you much pain. Other times they'd have you doubled over in pain, crying as you wrapped your arms around your abdomen, your breath coming out as hisses through your teeth. This seemed like one of the latter times, and he knew that the most awful cramps lasted the first two or three days.
He always did his best to help comfort you through these times every month, whether it be with extra cuddles and kisses or with jokes that most other people would think are stupid and ridiculous. He didn't fully understand how much pain you were in, but he hated seeing you even wince whenever you got a cramp. He wasn't the biggest fan of pain himself, and seeing his beautiful belladonna in so much pain hurt him just as much.
He cared about you a lot, but he also wanted to use your period to his advantage as well. You would scoff at him from your small cocoon of blankets on the couch when he would call Kunikida and tell him that he couldn't come into work because you were on your period. Since it was Dazai, he didn't really care if Kunikida said no and he would end up staying home with you anyway. It was only during the beginning of your period though, and on those days he would grab all the blankets from around the house and wrap the two of you in them. You would rest your head on his chest and he would help hold the heating pad on your stomach, the blankets were wrapped tightly around the two of you, only your heads peaking out from the tops. He would rent a bunch of movies and marathon them with you all morning and afternoon, only getting up to reheat the pad on your stomach or when either of you had to use the restroom.
After the movie marathon was over he would carefully move you off his chest (which was very hard considering how tightly wound the blankets were) and go to the kitchen to either start making dinner or just order something to eat. You would watch him with lidded eyes, trying to fight off sleep as he worked over the stove. He would curse under his breath whenever he got burnt or something taste as he had expected. Usually you two would end up eating carry out in the end, he wasn't the best chef, but it was the thought that counts and you appreciated the attempt none the less.
After eating he would clean up the mess, it was the only time he willingly did all the cleaning, it showed you that he cared and that he loved you. He wasn't the most cleanly person, and when you weren't on your period you would do most (all) the cleaning around the apartment, so you slightly enjoyed having the small break, even if it came with the horrendous cramps.
He would run you a warm bath so that you could fully relax before bed, and whether you wanted him in there with you or not, he would either have a towel in the drier warming up for when you get out, picking out your comfiest pajamas and having the bed set up for you to quickly climb into and fall asleep. If he was in the bathroom with you, he would have a warm rag, holding it against your neck while rubbing soothing circles into your scalp. He would have a few candles lit, burning on the sink counter and the edges of the bathtub, anything to help your mind and your body relax.
All in all, he's very supportive and caring of you when you're on your period, and he just wants you to be in as little pain as possible. He wouldn't hover, but he'd make sure that you had everything you need, plus a couple smaller things that he thought would make you feel a little better, anything to make that little pout on your face turn into a smile.
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Chuuya
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He knew exactly when your period was due. The dates were marked in his calendar on his phone months before, he had calculated them all accordingly. Not only was it so that he knew when to be stocked up on pads or tampons or both, but also so he knew what days to prepare for your menstrual induced hormone changes. Chuuya knew that your cramps were painful, and he made sure that there was enough Midol and Ibuprofen in the house to last through your entire period.
When he got the alert on his phone that your period was due he was sure to text you immediately. If you said anything about cramping or being in pain he would drop everything at work and come to you, pulling you into his arms as soon as he saw you, pressing kisses along any open skin he could find. "Is my princess in pain?" He whisper, dragging his lips along the shell of your ear. It didn't help that you were far more sensitive to his touch when your hormones were raging, but when he was doing these types of things it made it hard for you to remember that you were bleeding. That is, until another cramp set in and your hands would move up to your abdomen, feeling like the only way to keep yourself from breaking in half was to use your hands to hold yourself together.
You nodded slowly, biting your bottom lip as you waited for the pain to subside. He walked you to the bedroom and helped you into the bed, giving your the fluffiest pillows to prop your head up on. As soon as he knew you were comfortable he would run to the bathroom, grabbing the heating pad from underneath the sink and fill it with warm water. He carefully placed it on your lower abdomen and watched as you took a deep breath, feeling the warmth run through your body and soothe your angry uterus. "You know, I could stop this for nine months if you'd like..." Chuuya said, and you weren't sure if he was serious or if he was joking. His voice was always so stern, so you could never tell when he was being sarcastic and if this was one of those moments.
"Don't make me laugh, it hurts." You said, rolling your eyes at him. He shrugged before kissing your forehead and getting up off the bed. "Well, the offer still stands. How about you get some sleep." He said while tucking you in. He walked out of the room, but how could you possibly sleep with what he said fresh in your mind? Sure, periods sucked and they were painful, but they were definitely not as painful as labor and growing an entire child in your womb.
He sat on the couch and pulled out his phone, he wanted to get you some things, things that would brighten your day. He couldn't exactly make the cramps go away, not right now at least, but he could at least get you stuff to make you smile, make you happy, maybe even forget about the pain for a little bit.
After he finished ordering the items he slid his phone back into his pocket and went to the kitchen. He pulled out the recipe for your favorite meal and began cooking. He wasn't the greatest chef in the world, but he knew how to flavor things well enough that they tasted good, and he didn't burn down the entire apartment complex.
He kept the bedroom door cracked open so he would be able to hear even the slightest whimper of pain from you. If he did, he would turn off the burners and rush into the room, kneeling on the floor next to the bed and holding your hand, helping you breathe through the cramp. He would get a wash clothe and run it under cold water to dampen it before placing it on your forehead. He knew that you would sometimes work up a sweat when your cramps got really bad, and he wanted nothing more than for you to be comfortable.
When he finished cooking dinner, if your periods were really bad, he would serve you your dinner in bed. He would sit next to you, both your legs stretched out, balancing your plates on your laps. He would have his laptop in between both your legs, loading up either your favorite movies or watching YouTube videos that would make you chuckle lightly. He adored your laughter, and he loved hearing it, especially after hearing your whimpers of pain, it let him know that you were okay.
After eating he would take your plate and stack it on his and place it on the bedside table, he would get to it later, all he wanted to do now was hold you close against him. Chuuya cuddles always helped you to forget about your cramps, and sometimes, almost like it was magic, having his arms around you was better pain relief than the pills in the cabinet. You would bury your face in his chest while he sang to you softly, the vibrations in his chest, the sound of his heartbeat, and the soothing tone of his voice all mixed together was enough to have you falling fast asleep.
He would cradle you a little longer before slipping his arm out from underneath you ever so carefully, making sure to not wake you with the movement. He would clean up the dinner mess, not wanting to leave anything out that you would try to clean yourself. He didn't want you to feel like you had to strain yourself while you were on your period, even if you told him that you wanted to help clean he would quickly object your offer and tell you to go get comfortable on the couch or in the bed. After he finished cleaning he would make his way back into the bedroom, his arms outstretched, knowing that you would habitually gravitate towards the warmth of his body. When you did move into his arms they would enclose you, keeping you close against him, his lips softly brushing against your temple, your forehead, and your cheeks before he allowed himself to fall asleep as well.
Chuuya... this boy... he wanted only the best for his Queen. If you were in pain, he would do anything to stop it. (That offer of stopping it for nine months was legit, he would do ANYTHING). You could ask this boy for anything and he would do it. Hugs? GOT IT! Cuddles? He's already on the couch with his arms outstretched waiting for you. Kisses? Honey you don't need to ask, his lips are on yours before you can even ask. Everything he does for you is done out of love, and he fricking LOVES you.
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straycat-writes · 5 years ago
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the one real thing (dazai osamu)
summary: What a tragedy it is that you both love each other a little too much for your own good.
warning(s): swearing, infidelity(??), a shit load of angst
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The creaking sound from your door opening and closing awoke you from your light slumber. Instead of moving, however, you just lied on your bed, lips pressed into a thin line. You wanted to get up and go to him, you should have, but the storm of conflicting emotions in your head didn’t allow you to.
In the 2 AM darkness of your bedroom, you heard him clumsily fumbling with his clothes and cursing slightly under his breath. A few minutes later, Dazai dropped into bed beside you, snaking an arm around your waist and pulling you closer to himself, your back to his front. You frowned in the pin-drop silence.
After a while, you finally managed to say something, “I made dinner for you.”
“Yeah?” he murmured softly, “Well, maybe tomorrow, belladonna. I’m so tired.”
You screwed your eyes shut tightly, “F-fine.”
He was asleep within minutes. Prying his arm off your waist as gently as you could, you got up and stealthily left the room, wanting to be literally anywhere except beside your lover. Your feet unconsciously led you to the spacious bathroom of the apartment you shared with Dazai. Only when you went in and locked the door did you find yourself being able to breathe properly.
Letting out a shaky sigh, you finally looked up at the mirror. With disheveled hair and dark circles adorning your eyes, you looked like you hadn’t slept in weeks. Maybe you hadn’t. At this point, you couldn’t really remember.
This wasn’t the first time Dazai had come home at ungodly hours of the night. Far from it, actually. At first, you thought he was just busy, that maybe his workload was heavier than usual. But you couldn’t fool yourself with that lie for too long, everybody knows Dazai doesn’t do regular work, let alone overtime. You wanted him to have his space, so you didn’t say anything. Besides, he only does it once in a while, so what’s the harm, right?
But then he started disappearing for long hours every other night, and coming back home tipsy and disheveled, and worst of all, with someone else’s perfume on his clothes. And it hurt, goddamn it hurt more than anything had ever hurt before, but what could you do? Leave him? Of course not. How could you ever bring yourself to do that?
You gripped the porcelain sink in front of you tighter as tears blurred your vision. The two of you had been together for so long now that you could no longer imagine what your life would be like without him in it. That’s a lie. You could imagine it; it would be cold and sad and empty. You loved Dazai so much it hurt, and you just wished he would do the same, but apparently you were no longer enough for him.
You sighed and gave yourself a watery smile in the mirror, “That’s alright. I can live with that. I can – l-live with that….right?”
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One more chance. You had promised yourself you would give him one more chance, but that was several chances ago and you would say that to yourself each time he stumbled back home and into your arms, with someone else’s lipstick staining his collar but not anymore.
“I can’t….” you whispered, a blank look on your face, “I can’t do this anymore.”
“Do what?” Dazai looked up at you and blinked from where he was busy taking off his shoes. It was two in the morning and he was late and slightly drunk and had stumbled back home for the umpteenth time that week and you were done.
“This.” You sighed weakly, gesturing vaguely to the both of you, “Us. I’m done. You can go back to whoever you’ve been fucking all this time, I won’t stop you.”
That seemed to sober him up instantly, “(Y/n), I – “
“Save it.” You said severely, but you couldn’t keep the tears at bay for long, “I have been with you for four years, you fucking asshole! Did all that time mean nothing to you!?”
“It did! Of course it did! I – “
“Didn’t think you should’ve kept it in your pants and been loyal for fucking once in your life!? I loved you!”
“I love you too, sweetheart!” he pleaded, and it scared you a little because in all the time you had been with him, you had never heard such desperation in his voice, “I love you, more than anything…”
“Then why!?” You screamed, tears cascading down your cheeks freely now, “Am I not enough for you? Are you bored? Is that it!?”
He didn’t say anything, but by the look on his face, you knew you had hit the nail right in the head, and your heart shattered into a million pieces. You covered your mouth with your hand and took a couple of steps backwards as more tears spilled from your eyes. Dazai moved to touch your arm but you that just made you flinch further back.
“Don’t touch me!” you cry, “Just…don’t.”
What really hurt was that Dazai didn’t say anything in his defense at all. He just stood there with a frown on his face, watching you shake with sobs, your eyes red and face tear-stained. Huh, guess I’m not even worth trying to hold on to. You almost let out an ironic laugh at that thought. You swallowed hard, blinking away more unshed tears as you forced yourself to look at him.
“…I’m leaving.”
He had been staring at his feet but jerked up his head at that, “What? No, belladonna, please…”
“Please what? Please stay? Please, I’m sorry? Please, I’ll be good?” you scoffed, words laced with venom, “Well, save your lies for someone who would believe them, because I don’t anymore.”
That night, you hastily packed the bare essentials, because you knew that if you delayed even a moment, your resolve would crumble and you would end up staying. And as you stormed out of the house, of the home you two shared, you knew that it was probably the last time you’d ever see your lover. Well, ex-lover.
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You had been right about that, it was indeed the last time you ever saw him. Two years later, however, he did see you. Dazai had been dragged to the nearby district for a case by Kunikida. The moment his eyes had landed on you across the street, his heart had skipped a beat. Your hair was a lighter shade now, probably shorter too, and you looked healthier. Happier.
“Oi, Dazai! Focus!” Kunikida hit him on the head, before his eyes followed Dazai’s gaze and landed on you too, “…Oh.”
“Yeah.” Dazai murmured, “Oh, indeed.”
You didn’t seem to be aware of his presence across the street, much to his relief. You were with someone else, your new lover in all likelihood, if the way he smiled at you and held you by the waist were any indications. Dazai felt a sharp tug at his heart at that, and immediately despised himself for it, because really, did he even have the right to be sad now?
“Hadn’t she left Yokohama after you…you know?” Kunikida asked, looking deep in thought.
Dazai nodded, “She had. She must be back for a vacation or something.”
“You know what, Dazai?” Kunikida said after a while, grimacing to himself, “No offense, but you’re a despicable human being for what you did to her.”
Dazai smiled ruefully at that, “I know.”
I’m barely even a human being, he had wanted to add. His eyes travelled to you again. You were laughing at something your companion had said, and Dazai remembered how you hadn’t laughed like that for months before you left. Man, he really had been an asshole to you. But you were happier now, and that meant his goal was accomplished.
Getting you to leave him was hard. Dazai was, and always had been, a void. There was a black hole inside of him that swallowed every bit of happiness in his vicinity, both his own and that of others, and even though you were the brightest light he had ever seen in his life, light still couldn’t escape the pull of a black hole, and he didn’t want to taint you like that. Dazai had went through life destroying everything he ever touched. He was a void, an empty space, with edges so sharp he hurt everyone who came close.
The last thing he wanted was for you to be another casualty of his catastrophe of an existence. And so, two years ago, he had tried everything in his power to make you leave him, to drive away the one good thing he had in his life. Just because he had you doesn’t mean he deserved you.
But of course, he could never actually bring himself to even touch someone who wasn’t you. He would frequent bars, get just enough drunk so that you’d notice that he was, and fool around a little with someone, just enough for you to notice that he had. And then he’d come straight back home to you. He’d fall into bed beside you and hold you close, and he wouldn’t fail to notice how you’d tense up in his arms and sniffle softly, and it hurt, goddamn, it hurt more than anything had ever hurt before, but what else could he do? Perhaps it wasn’t the smartest choice on his part, but it was his only one.
You had stayed longer than he had expected you to. He had to keep pretending he was sleeping with someone else for months before you finally reached your limit. Dazai knew you well enough to know that you must have cried for weeks after you left, that you must have been completely wrecked.
But you were much happier, much better off now, with someone new. Someone who wouldn’t hurt you or inevitably break you like Dazai would have. Someone who wasn’t him.
“We need to go, Dazai.” Kunikida called out to him, already a few paces ahead and checking his notebook for all the stuff they still had to do.
He took one more glance at your retreating figure. Your companion had said something, making you smile and blush. Dazai felt warmth spreading in his chest. Kunikida called out to him again. He sighed.
“Coming.”
By the time you turned around to inspect why you felt like you were being stared at, there was no one across the street.
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“'Cause there we are again, when I loved you so, back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known...” - All Too Well, Taylor Swift
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drangues · 4 years ago
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nnNOOO I DIDNT WANNA MURDER YOU BUT IM FLAD YOU FOUND THE IDEA,,, TOUCHING??? NICE??? ENOUGH TO SAY I DID. I allegedly write really good one liners out of the blue but I wasn’t expecting that to be one of them. Anyways YEAH that sounds like Kunikida, he’s like the tense before the jumpscare, if that makes sense??? He makes you nervous and you wait and nothing happens but it feels like you aren’t in the clear yet and then BANG. (Nyanon, 1/6)
And then someone smacks their head on something because he scared the hell out of them (AKA Dazai, whenever he tries to sneak out to nap or get food). Dazai, meanwhile, is too much of a Large Ham to pull off tense scares (unless you make him Angry in which case you Better Run). But the idea of them accidentally scaring Fukuzawa though,,, Poor guy, at least they won’t hold it over his head like they would with someone else. (Nyanon, 2/6)
Scares aside, poor Akutagawa can’t seem to Not get Dazai as his Ridiculous but admittedly Very Skilled upperclassman, it’s hilarious. And of course Dazai would be chaotic with his picture taking, he probably pulls off a lot of really dangerous stuff to land some good ones. Then he’s smug about it because even though people are scolding him his pictures are Good and everyone Knows It. And falling out of a tree is probably nothing new to him, lets be honest. (Nyanon, 3/6)
It’s just normally while he’s taking the pictures and not before he can hit the button (it’s okay Dazai, Atsushi is pretty enough that we understand). Also can I just say that poor Chuuya probably has. SO. Many awful photos of him that get taken, courtesy of Dazai. He’s truly a menace (Akutagawa tries to make up for it, though, because photographers are just hardcore piners like that I guess). Also also I’ve decided that Atsushi and Chuuya are lit majors (maybe novelists or poets? (Nyanon, 4/6)
Poe is also in their class!) and Atsushi is Chuuya’s kinda mentee figure. Both of them also use their major to pine, they’re just more Subtle because they can write it out in sappy love letters and stuff. But anyways, onto another Concept: I like to imagine that, when Atsushi gets really into something (a franchise, or a mythos, or something like that), he starts putting together timelines and maps based on the events that happened over the course what he’s interested in. (Nyanon, 5/6)
And he feels a bit stupid because he feels like there are better ones out there, but Dazai is immediately seen in the background, frantically studying what he can on the topic because he thinks Atsushi’s dedication is Cute and he wants to be able to talk to him about it. I don’t know if this is realistic or not I’m very tired. (Nyanon, 6/6)
you writing good liners out of nowhere?? sounds exactly like you and i Agree AND Y E S SS kunikida loves the Suspense, Th r i l l  e r . he likes to screw with you psychologically, im sure he has a detailed ideal plan on how to do that, thats just how he is uwu
dazais professor: YOU SHOULD N E V E R DO THAT E V E R AGAIN THAT WAS DANGEROU- dazai: but i get an A right? professor: dazai: professor: ,,yeah bUT MY POINT STILL STANDS-
i bet dazai has a whole album filled with “unflattering” pictures of chuuya and he gifts it to him as a gag gift on christmas, and akutagawa knowing dazais schemes already (cus he was forced to wake up early in the morning to print everything out with dazai) he has another album ready filled with the most beautiful pictures hes taken of chuuya (which in his opinions are all of them but he had to think from chuuyas perspective) and plus some other photos of stuff chuuya really likes like wine and fancy clothes and expensive looking food (i just know chuuya has a Rich Taste)
chuuya being atsushi’s mentor,,,,s O BBBB god thats so good i LOVE IT and them writing love poems is just so- can we please make poe write a romance novel thats literally just chuuaku and dazatsu and how they got together and thats his Break Through novel that makes him Sell Bank, all because one day he was like “hey lets write this im getting frustrated at the pining” and he just writes chapter after chapter until they finally get together- chuuya and atsushi arent really the most quitest when they tell each other what has happened with their respective love interests and dazai/akutagawa are Very Attention Grabbing with their antics. so poe just Gathers Everything quietly (plus his boyfriend ranpo, a criminology major, also friends with the four idiots, tells him everything)
ALSO WE DONT C AR E ABOUT REALISM THIS IS FICTION BABEYH REALITY CAN BE WHATEVER WE WANT AND DAZAI WOULD D E F IN I T E L Y TRY AND STUDY FRANTICALLY WHAT ATSUSHI IS INTERESTED IN JUST TO CASUALLY BE LIKE “oh that?yeah i thought (x) arc was really cool” AS IF HE WASNT UP ALL NIGHT OEHJAHAJKDSDS 
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patchwork-panda · 4 years ago
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If A Moment is All We Are (5.1/?)
This chapter is REALLY long so I split the text ver into 2 parts for Tumblr. 
AO3 link: here
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Story type: Romance/Drama/comedy
Pairing: Dazai x OC/reader (Dazai is endgame, fic is long-running and will also feature Kunikida x OC)
OC (Kusunoki Kyou) and Ability are based off of "The Story of Your Life," written by Ted Chiang, aka the basis of the Amy Adams movie "Arrival."
Rating: M for Blood/violence/themes of depression, anxiety, suicide TW: The second half of this story will deal more heavily with themes of suicide, depression/anxiety. *No major character death will occur*
Story follows OC as she joins the ADA, partners up with the detectives to solve various cases around Yokohama and develops feelings for Kunikida and Dazai (Dazai endgame).
Written for those who want an immersive ADA experience :)
Updates every Sunday evening around 6pm PST
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It wasn’t always like this.
Okay, maybe it was.
For as far back as I could remember, the visions had always been random, random events I would see of the future. If I was in physical contact with someone, the visions would be from their future. If I wasn’t, then the visions would be from my own life. Sometimes when I was really stressed, the visions of my future would actually come in the form of a dream, like in manga or novels.
Perhaps that was the best way to explain how The Story of Your Life worked; it was like taking out a book, keeping a finger against the pages and flipping until that finger finally caught on a single page. Then, flip open that page and read the first paragraph that jumps out; the book was the person’s life and the paragraph was the event, a single scene from that person’s future that I bore witness to.
The visions didn’t always show me death, blood and despair.
In fact, the very first vision I had was that of a puppy—a cute little thing my friend Kiko gifted me at my fifth birthday party. I must’ve seemed shockingly unsurprised (and possibly rude) to Kiko and her parents, but I couldn’t bring myself to explain that I’d seen her giving me this puppy half a year ago.
In retrospect, the puppy vision had been great. Sure, it took some of the fun out of a surprise gift but it was still a vision about a puppy. Honestly, if my visions were nothing more than glorified versions of baby animal videos, I’d be perfectly fine with that.
Maybe then, I wouldn’t be left with this overwhelming fear of my own Ability.
I used to be able to touch people, shake their hands, and hold them. In the beginning, “The Story of Your Life” only activated with a prolonged touch...
At first, “prolonged” meant more than ten seconds. That meant getting to play tag in kindergarten, going over to friends’ houses and having sleepovers. Normal stuff. My life didn’t even change all that much when ten seconds shrank to seven some time around middle school; I was able to play contact sports and go out on shopping trips without incident. Seven seconds became five halfway through high school. Again, no need to make lifestyle changes. I could still hold hands with friends, so long as it didn’t go on for too long and I was still able to have my first kiss without seeing even a hint of my boyfriend’s future.
And then, college. Five seconds was no longer doable. It became three at best and just before I’d become a shut-in, even an instantaneous touch was enough to trigger my Ability. By then, however, I’d gotten pretty used to having the visions, so I remained relatively unbothered when I’d see a vision of the barista breaking up with his girlfriend when I got my morning coffee. In other words, managing my Ability was no big deal.
Or so I thought.
About six months ago, my visions went from being an occasional distraction to a panic-inducing nightmare. I still wasn’t sure why...
Maybe it was just luck of the draw. I’d only seen good things, mostly, for the first ten-plus years at least: faraway cities, weddings, and graduations. Every once in a while there would be a failed exam or a lost wallet but overall nothing too out of the ordinary for an otherwise regular teenager to see.
Maybe it was just a sign of the times. As I got older, so did the people around me, so the more likely it was that they were entering that phase of their lives where things could start to go south. Or perhaps their previous lives were just catching up to them.
Or maybe, it was karma finally catching up to me. I’d be lying if I said that I’d never used my Ability for personal gain before. There were a few exams I managed to ace with the help of a well-timed touch of the hand and a few pitfalls I’d managed to avoid through a combination of sheer luck and a decently fast reflex. Perhaps six months ago, whatever granted me this power finally decided that I had a good run and it needed to end in the worst way possible...
And it all happened so quickly.
I never had much control over my visions to begin with and they never really bothered me before but suddenly, they were invading every part of my life—and with each vision I saw, the accuracy increased. My dreams became more vivid than ever; I would see things that had yet to occur and before I moved out, my college roommate would wake up in the middle of the night to the sound of my screams. I started passing out in the middle of class if someone so much as tapped my bare shoulder and when I came to again, it would be a minute before I remembered where I was and what I was doing. I was starting to consider seeking some kind of help until one day, I finally saw my first death.
It was horrible. I was at dinner with friends on a group date and I hit it off with one of the guys. He wanted to take me to the movies that weekend, and being relatively new to college and Yokohama in general, I agreed. Then, smiling, he’d held my hand just a millisecond too long and I saw it: him getting hit by a car while crossing the street.
I tried not to think about it too hard. Sometimes the vision were wrong. There were times when they’d been off by just a fraction of a second and because of that, I still had hope. Maybe there was a chance that things could change last minute, either by a miracle or by someone’s sheer force of will. But as time passed, my anxiety grew. He was running late and I didn’t like it. Finally, I spotted him at the intersection and, frantic, I waved him down just as the “walk” sign lit up and he started crossing the street.
That’s when it happened.
A single black vehicle, no license plate, ran a red... and ran into him.
I would remember seeing his body flying into the air for the rest of the semester.
After that, I started taking an alternate route to class, just to avoid going anywhere near the part of campus where he’d died. It wasn’t that people were whispering behind my back or accusing me of having a part of it—I just couldn’t handle the memory.
That was the first death.
The first.
It was as if some kind of floodgate had been opened. I had never seen death before that day but after...? Death became all I saw. I briefly shook hands with a foreign exchange student and immediately saw an image of a middle-aged woman lying in a hospital wing. The woman had been the student’s mother and I heard she died a week later. I could not have been responsible for the cancer that claimed her life but I spent weeks feeling guilty about it anyway. There was another incident where I accidentally, and literally, bumped into my English teacher on the way to class. I saw his brother being hit by a bus downtown. His death was announced a month later, on the morning news. When I saw it, I broke down in the middle of the cafeteria and my friend Eri had to take me home.
And it just kept happening.
I became afraid to touch people. I began wearing longer layers during the summer months and started keeping to myself. When even a brush of the hand or bumping into people on public transit could trigger a vision, I started wearing gloves. I got a lot of stares on the subway for wearing itchy winter gloves in the subtropical heat and the knitted fabric made gripping the overhead handholds difficult so I ended up changing to disposable nitrile instead. I got less stares for that but unfortunately, I eventually had to give up public transit entirely when I got squished between two tourists and had a panic attack in the middle of the car.
But giving up public transportation put me in a tough spot. My dorm was pretty far from campus and I didn’t know how to drive. If I really wanted to, I could walk but that would take far too long and make for far too many chances to see another person’s death. And I really didn’t want to ask anyone for a ride because that would just mean more questions and more explanations I wasn’t willing to give.
And yet somehow, I managed to make it work for a time, waking up early to go to class, avoiding hangouts in-between classes and running back to my dorm as soon as I got a chance. But I was still attending classes with lots of people in a crowded lecture hall and living with roommates in a dormitory building. Ultimately, the stress of trying to avoid people while also trying to keep up with increasingly difficult classes caused me to start having nightmares. They were frequent and they were bad. And I knew that these were all things that would someday happen to me: me and a friend being held hostage in an abandoned apartment building, a woman in a suit and sunglasses pointing two machine guns directly at my face, a man didn’t recognize growing steadily colder in my arms as I screamed for him not to leave me...
That following morning, I woke up sobbing—crying as if I wished I was the one who had died instead. When my roommate tried to comfort me, I jerked away out of instinct and immediately realized I’d made a mistake.
And that was it.
I couldn’t it take any more.
About a week later, I left the dorm and found myself a tiny studio apartment, one that I could still afford on my shoestring budget and more importantly, one where I could live completely alone.
Soon after, I dropped out of college and became a shut-in. In true shut-in fashion, I shunned all contact from classmates and friends in case someone came to visit and decide they needed to barge in because they couldn’t—shouldn’t—do such a thing. My apartment had become both my sanctuary and my jail. So long as nothing changed around me, none of the horrible visions would come to pass.
Thankfully, a month into my new lifestyle, the nightmares stopped.
So long as nobody came near me, I wouldn’t have to witness another death with my waking eyes...
I still remembered the night I decided to stop going to class. It was the same night I looked out the windows and saw my own reflection, touched my fingers to my face and pulled them away, confirming that it was indeed blood and not salt tears that dripped down my cheeks. I started avoiding mirrors from that day on and threw myself fully into watching anime, joining fandoms and drawing commissions, anything to distract myself from the invasive, self-destructive thoughts that grew stronger whenever I looked into a reflection of my own eyes.
Yes... Staying was the only solution. If I never stepped out of the apartment again, the world would be spared the sight of my hollow eyes and bloody tears... And I—I would be spared the curse of witnessing things I should never have seen to begin with.
***
“So you’ve been holed up in your apartment for the last six months doing...”
Kunikida frowned, tapping his pen against his chin.
“What exactly? Rent in Yokohama isn’t cheap. How have you been supporting yourself?”
“Commissions,” I explained. “I started watching a lot of anime and playing video games and fans pay good money for drawings of their favorite characters, original characters or even pictures of themselves in a stylized form.”
Summing up my Ability meant practically telling these two my entire life story, not just recalling the events of this morning, and I had to commend the detectives’ patience for sitting through what I would’ve considered a pretty long-winded explanation. Now I was even telling them how I’d stretched my budget and supplemented my allowance.
I held out my hand.
“If I could have some paper and something to write with, I could show you, if you like...?”
Dazai immediately ripped Kunikida’s notebook and pen out of his hands. Ignoring his partner’s protests, he held them out to me and, throwing his arm out to keep Kunikida from taking back his own things, sat back to watch me draw. Within seconds, a coarse outline appeared on the pages, followed by facial features: eyes, nose, hair—a minute later, I handed back Kunikida’s notebook, a quick, rudimentary pen sketch of each detective on its two open pages.
As one, they leaned in to stare at it.
“This is pretty good,” Kunikida said, looking up at me. He squinted down at the page, tracing the lines with his fingers, mumbling, “Does my hair really look like that?”
“It is... isn’t it?” Dazai agreed, rubbing his chin.
As Kunikida puzzled over the drawing, a mischievous glint appeared in Dazai’s dark eyes.
“Kusunoki-san... Have you ever considered a career as a sketch artist?”
At once, Kunikida shot him a warning look.
“Don’t even think about it, Dazai,” he growled, “Making decisions without the President’s approval—”
“I’m not making a decision, only a suggestion,” Dazai declared. “And what’s wrong with a good suggestion?”
“Dazai...”
Ignoring Kunikida entirely, he turned to me.
“Really, I don’t know how we survived like this for so long. We’re a detective agency, one of the best in the city and yet, we don’t have a sketch artist... It’s a shame, don’t you agree, Kusunoki-san? What do you think? Interested in a change of career?”
“Wait... are you asking me to join you?” I asked warily, looking from one detective to the other. “Why would you want someone like me? I can’t fight. I don’t even know how to shoot a gun.”
“I’m asking you,” Dazai said pointedly, “if you would be interested in becoming a sketch artist. I mean, it just so happens that we are in dire need of one—(“No one said that!” Kunikida roared)—and you happen to have the exact skill set we are looking for! Not to mention you’re an Ability User... Just think of all the people you could help.”
“I don’t know,” I mumbled, looking away, “Wouldn’t someone like me be more of a burden than an asset? I can’t even control my Ability, much less use it to help people—”
“But what if you could control it?”
I froze. Having had no control of my Ability for my entire life, the possibility hadn’t even occurred to me...
“There’s a way?” I asked, looking back up just as Dazai’s grin turned into a triumphant smirk. “How?”
“I could tell you,” he drawled, his smirk growing even wider, “But it’s a closely guarded secret. You’d have to join us if you want to find out... Of course, I’d be more than happy to vouch for you if you’d like to apply—”
“Dazai—!! You—!”
Kunikida was on his feet.
“We can’t just offer a job to every stray Ability User we rescue from the Port Mafia! Atsushi was one thing but—”
“Oh my, so you’d be perfectly fine sending a nice girl like her back into the jaws of the Port Mafia? Really, I thought better of you, Kunikiiiiiida-kun—”
“That’s not what I said!”
“So you agree, we should take her in?”
Kunikida’s face was in his hands.
“Look, it’s not that I don’t want to help, but it’s not our decision to make! And besides, she’s clearly been through enough, what makes you think she would agree to—”
“I’ll do it.”
Kunikida’s mouth dropped open. He looked stunned.
“You will—? Wait, no, I never said I agreed—”
“Let me apply,” I said, looking him firmly in the eyes. “I want to help people. I’ve always wanted to. Isn’t that what you do here at the Agency? Use your special Abilities to make their lives better?”
“That’s true,” Kunikida admitted, folding his arms over his chest, “But this can be a dangerous job. Especially for a non-combatant. You almost died today! Why do you want to help people so bad? In fact, let me ask you...”
His eyes flashed from behind his glasses, his expression fierce.
“Why did you go so far for a neighbor with whom you weren’t particularly close?”
I glared right back.
“I had to save her.”
“But it sounds like you already did, when you pulled her off the sidewalk—”
“That’s not good enough!” I burst out, startling Kunikida. “How could I say I saved her, truly saved her, if I knew she was going to die in a week and I did nothing to stop it?”
My hands clenched into fists.
“That doesn’t count. Saving someone means seeing it through to the end, to fully committing yourself and doing what’s right! Isn’t that what you did for me? What both of you did to bring me here today?”
Kunikida was struck dumb. Stuffing his hands into his pockets, Dazai got to his feet.
“I think it’s about time I take Kusunoki-san back to her apartment,” he said, making his way to the door, his long tanned trench coat swishing elegantly as he moved.
He patted Kunikida on the shoulder.
“I’ll let you think about what we should tell the President later.”
Kunikida instantly flushed an angry, embarrassed pink.
“Dazai, you—”
Ignoring his partner, Dazai called out to me.
“Kusunoki-san? I won’t be taking you back to your original apartment tonight. We’ll be going to one of the Agency’s safe houses instead. After everything that’s happened, I wouldn’t be surprised if the Port Mafia had staked out your building and had someone ready and waiting for you at home. And if you’re wondering, Yamazaki-san is on her way to her nephew’s place in Nagano, so you won’t need to worry about her.”
“But what about my things?” I asked, “What am I gonna tell the landlord?”
“It’s already been taken care of,” Dazai replied, opening the door for me. “Shall we?”
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astheravensighs · 4 years ago
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omg hi!! i read your tags >< it’s not that i’m uncomfy, just really shy LOL but i really appreciate that you’re so careful about others!! either way, i’m interested in hearing about 7, 14, 19 and 25 😌
heck yes i am SO excited to talk abt this stuff tbh lol... #chronicoversharer
anyway! anyone that is uncomfy with spicy/sexy stuff or uneccesarily detailed depictions of my sex life, pls scroll away from this now lol...
other possible tws just in case! slight dom/sub, restraints, general kinkiness and roughness, my absolute lack of shame when it comes to talking abt this stuff, etc lol
I’m on mobile as well and stuff is disappearing as i type ??? so if the formatting is weird or anything is typed twice or not at all i apologize djsksh and let me know if this shows up and you don’t want it to so i can tag it for you!!!!
7. Any favorite positions?
gosh honestly i like just about anything but having two boys to deal with leaves some room for creativity for sure lol,,,, I’m a fan of spitroasting personally bc they still just suck at sharing lol so inevitably whoever’s in my mouth gets jealous of the one behind me and they end up getting super riled up and competitive and it’s just 😍 when it’s just one of them at a time i reaaally like anything from behind or anything a toy can be used at the same time (Dazai is more of fan of toys than Chuuya tho, Chu manages to get jealous of a vibrator more often than not lol)
14: what’s something that usually gets your f/o in the mood?
they’re basically a constant source of horny tbh so it’s not entirely difficult,,
Dazai is super weak to anything new and different, like a cute new outfit (even if it’s totally normal and modest) or a new position to try. the one way to guarantee Dazai getting riled up is when i get shy or flustered by something, like he says something that can obviously be taken as an innuendo and i blush, he’s just like *target acquired* and doubles down till he’s just straight up dirty talking me in the middle of the ADA office lol... Kunikida puts up with too much. I’m so sry pal. remind me to send him a gift basket or smth he deserves it
Chuuya is weak to challenging his dominance for SURE... like
‘hey babe can you hand me that’
‘hmm... nope’
‘...so you wanna play it that way, huh?’
also biting Chu is instant dom activation,, just straight up crunch on his arm and hes like. ah. you’ve chosen death. (death by dick, RIP me) and i have a habit of just. mindlessly chomping on anything that gets close to my mouth?? idk why the fuck i do that djsksh but seein his eyes go from ‘wtf are you doing’ to ‘oh, I’m going to ruin you’ is just... chefs kiss 👌
(personally watching them train or fight in battle is like. welp. after yall are done killing all those people would u pls fuckin ravage me, thx)
19: does your f/o tease you, or you tease them? How you do/they handle it?
Dazai is a whole bastard when it comes to teasing,,, this asshole will tease for so long and then all the sudden an orgasm hits and i don’t even realize till it’s over?? like?? how ??? he will 100% use shibari or restraints, and hes known to do nothing but dirty talk (which he is so good at it should be illegal) and never even touch anything till the whole next day 😤 idk how the hell he does it but it’s definitely worth waiting for bc he makes me go full on feral and just sits there and laughs @ how much i need it fhdkshsksh
when i tease him, well... it doesn’t last long, lol. sometimes if i ask reaaally nice he’ll be the sub for a night but somehow he still seems to be the damn top by how much he makes me fight for every reaction. i could be doin my damnedest and he’d just be sittin there handcuffed to the bed with an eyebrow raised like “that’s all you got?” he won’t even make a damn noise until i give him what he wants,,, Chuuya has never once successfully teased him he just ends up choking him out (jokes on him, hes super into that)
Chuuya... he tries to tease, he rly does..... but he is just not able to control himself like dazai can lol. he can tease for maybe an hour max?? no matter what he WILL need his dick in me at some point so i don’t have to worry abt being totally denied,,, hes just impatient as hell but he has stamina for DAYS so it’s not like it’s over quickly anyway thank god
Chuuya CAN sub and will for Dazai more often than the reverse, so teasing him IS possible... but only if Dazai is also present. after like 5 minutes of teasing he would want to just break out of whatever is holding him down and take what he wants, so Dazai has to keep a hand on him to cancel his ability or he’ll break ANOTHER pair of cuffs and they are expensive goddamnit
25: do you and your f/o hold hands while making love? How tightly do they hold you?
depends on the mood rly!! if it’s sweet n loving n intimate, absolutely. Dazai is more of a hands holding my face kind of guy but it’s basically very much the same,, Chuuya almost always will in these situations, he likes that my hands are teeny and his are huge so he lets me hold his hands for balance too.
when it’s not gentle and sweet it’ll happen in one of my favorite ways tho- usually Dazai’s behind me being super rough n degrading and dominant and I’ll have my head on Chuuya’s lap and he holds my hand and pets my hair and praises me 🤤 i can’t get enough of that dynamic i stg dhskshskshdkd
anyway !!! thank u for asking and i apologize for the insane amount of horny on main lately y’all dhdjdj my hormones are off the charts,,, i hope i didn’t make anyone too uncomfy but that’s what my blacklist tags are there for lol pls feel free to block #spicy bc boy it WILL get spicy :V either way!! thank u for asking !! i didn’t think id get to ramble abt this stuff n i very much like to so hfkhsjdk thank u!!! ❤️
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misstinfoilhat · 5 years ago
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The Boy in the Belfry Pt. 12, a Bungo Stray Dogs fic.
Yeeeah so, sorry. I forgot I was posting this here.  ...
The unison exclamations from the ADA alerted the Preacher of their presence as soon as the surroundings of his display had calmed down.
"Ah, my worshipers have returned," the Preacher's voice echoed through the large room, gloating in front of the newly entered crowd. "Welcome back, my blessed herd."
"This preacher isn't like the one we have at home," Kenji whispered wearily.
"I can guarantee you that he is not," Chuuya grunted before taking a step forward.
"Wait, Chuuya, what are you-" Kunikida tried to hold him back. They needed to assess the situation and make a plan before they could proceed with any kind of attack. They had no idea what was going on, but he was blatantly ignored.
"Chuuya, I'm glad you finally arrived at the party," Mori's voice singsonged down the nave. He gestured with his hand towards the scene in front of them. Chuuya walked resolutely over the carpeted aisle.
"I'm sorry I'm late. I only just heard from this mötley crew that we had begun the final stages. You could have given me a call," he snarled irritably.
"Chu..." Atsushi gasped and reached his arm out to grab at Chuuya's jacket, but Kunikida's arm blocked him protectively, shaking his head at the teen.
"This is what's called betrayal, Atsushi. You might as well learn that now. You can never trust the mafia," Kunikida said darkly. "Especially not that coward," he sneered towards Chuuya.
Chuuya stopped and looked back. Seemingly amused, he scoffed. "I would have thought that was the 101 of the Armed Detective Agency instruction manual."
His jacket swayed lightly behind him as he proceeded the walk, but stopped for a moment and watched Dazai's mangled form.
"I always imagined-" Dazai rasped, interrupted by a couple of weak coughs, "that I'd wait... for you as you walked down the aisle someday."
The redhead sneered in disgust, and spit on the ground near Dazai, "stuff it, toothpick."
He gave a short nod to the Preacher, feeling sick by his mere presence, as he joined Elise in standing slightly behind Mori. ...
Dazai was bearly able to comprehend what was going on around him. He recognized the familiar fogginess and throbbing headache of a concussion when the gloomy room started to dance around in his vision.
‘Chuuya is here too,’ he thought but wasn't entirely sure if it was a good or a bad thing. He decided that concussions were one of his least favorite things. It made him so dazed and confused.
But he couldn't help but smile. No matter how much his body pulsated with pain and his head hurt, or how the bile in his throat from the concussion-induced nausea was threatening to spill out, there was no denying the fact that he sat there- face to face with his father's ability once again.
That night in the belfry a couple of weeks ago finally made complete sense to him now.
After first arriving at the church- and before it all happened, he had a short black-out. When he came too, he thought he was having a vividly real flashback to one of his many horrifying hours up there. It used to happen a lot when he was younger, to a point where he didn't know what was real or not anymore. It would only make sense that being back in that place would trigger all of that to come back.
Standing there in the belfry, looking down at his ten-year-old self, he felt the skin on his scarred back freeze. Every old wound came to life under their dressings, inflamed to a point where he could almost make out the words of damnation that had been carved into his shoulder blades, facing himself- he and his own apparition looked deep into each other's eyes, back in there, inside of their torture chamber where the seed of what would become the monster that was Osamu Dazai, had first been planted.
But, the ghost of his past self seemed so real, he needed to be sure that it was- in fact- just his mind playing tricks on him. It was almost as if he could reach out and touch it.
That was when it launched itself at him.
It wasn't more than a heavy push, but it was enough. The surprise of the attack made him tumble back, toppling over that same latch he had let himself fall from- twelve years ago.
Yes, it really did make sense. He had always been his own worst enemy.
A forceful tug at the bandages around his neck made him snap back into the moment. He could faintly hear his father's menacing laughter somewhere in the room, and some unclear and vague bickering even further away, but he was more intrigued by what he was holding in his hand. Well, 'he' as in his father's ability. What his father's ability held in its hand.
A knife.
A knife he knew very well. A wooden handle bearing a golden cross, and a needlepoint blade engraved with the words 'blows that wound, cleanses away evil'. It was the very same knife that had penetrated his skin more times then any blade ever had (and it was quite a few) and written passages and sacrileges words amongst each other all over his body- which he had spent a lifetime trying to clean off by excessively washing his skin raw and bloody, before turning to more ruthless methods when it proved fruitless.
His ten-year-old self placed the knife to his wrapped throat.
"Looks like you're finally going to be able to kill yourself," Mori chuckled, keeping his calm smile.
In a swift motion, it made the incision.
Droplets of blood slipped down Dazai's chest. His eyes grew wide with shock and his body dropped to the floor.
The silence that ensued was nothing more than unnerving.
At the sight of the Preacher's ability, lashing out at Dazai's throat, made it seem like the world had stopped turning. The slightly dirtied bandages on Dazai's chest was quickly colored by the warm crimson red.
But, he was still moving. He lay folded in on himself, shoulders slightly trembling. His raspy and shallow breaths sounded exaggerated by the reverb of the church.
It was the only thing that could be heard until the Preacher hummed with satisfaction, walking behind his son and grasping the cut bandaging from around Dazai's throat, ripping it all the way off.
"Why are you hiding, my son?" he asked in a sickly soft voice and proceeded to grab a hold on Dazai's hair, yanking his head up, showcasing his unprotected throat.
"No..." Dazai's exasperated in an instant of panic, but couldn't prevent his shame from being exposed.
The sides of Dazai's neck was covered in old and new scars from burns, slashes, ropes, chains or whatever he could have gotten his hands on whenever the urge would hit him, cutting mercilessly into the skin and leaving the grim reminders of his demons- but that was the expected part.
What really paralyzed all the on-lookers, was the large inverted pentagram that had been sliced roughly into the skin, leaving a horrendously ugly scar carved into the delicate flesh of Dazai’s throat.
"The boy with a soul as black as his eyes needs salvation," the Preacher told his congregation, a small crowd of stunned ADA agents. Dazai's face was twisted in pain and humiliation, or, chagrin.
"I know you tried, my son, I know you did. But you were never one of God's children. I should have known the day you were born. Your mother's body rejected you into the fifth month of her pregnancy. Each month her fatigued body was able to carry you represented the five points of the pentagram. You weren't meant to be born into this world. I should never let the doctor resurrect you, or anywhere near you. The world was doomed the second you drew your first breath. A breath of air that was never meant for you." 
He gave Dazai a swift kick in the back, making him tumble spill over to his stomach.
Caught in the moment, no one had even realized that the apparition of Dazai had disappeared and the Preacher was now holding the dagger. He let it slide up Dazai's back, making the bandages slide off his chest and abdomen. Then, he went on to his arms and legs.
Completely unraveled from the thin fabric that had been used as armor for Dazai for the majority of his life had come undone. All of the wounds, the scarred words and prayers, and religious symbols, the burns from the rod and the ones that Mori had left while he was undergoing training, bite marks and surgical scars and stab wounds and gunshot wounds and then the ones he had gotten from battles, and then there were the ones inflicted by himself.
There was hardly an inch of skin left on his body that hadn't been mutilated one way or another.
And now, he lay there, bare, feeling as naked and fragile as the day he was born. The day he was also supposed to have died.
The day he took a spot in the world never meant for him. Overcrowding the planet all by himself.
At the exact moment the last thought entered his mind, a blurred force flung itself in an inhumane speed behind him.
The Preacher was hurled from his position behind Dazai and crashed into the stone wall several feet behind them.
Tainted..? Chuuya!
Atsushi took advantage of the moment of full confusion and ran for Dazai's aid, followed shortly by the rest of the agency.
"Step away!" Mori's voice roared and Elise innocently stepped in front of Dazai, preventing anyone from passing her.
They would have tried if it wasn't for the fact that Mori had a gun pointed at Dazai's head.
The Preacher was pinned to the wall by tightly gripped gloved hands, and a thin streak of blood dripped from the back of his head as Chuuya growled intimidatingly at him.
"Do you have the preacher under control, Chuuya-kun?" Mori asked, not moving his gaze from Dazai.
"No problem," Chuuya smiled venomously as he moved his forearm to press against the old man's throat.
Mori scoffed. "Good," he mumbled under his breath, slowly stepping closer to Dazai, standing in front of him so the half-conscious man could see him.
Dazai struggled to keep his head up but did so to the best of his abilities. His head slowly drooping down from time to time, but watching and listening intently as Mori spoke.
"I don't think I've been more proud of anything I've ever accomplished, than what I made you," he told Dazai. 
"You were the perfect composition of everything. Of good and evil. Caring and violent. Apathetic and manic. Alive and dead... I know, I wasn't much of a father figure, but I truly did look upon you as my own flesh and blood. Some of the things I had to do to you, I-" he sighed, "I truly didn't want to do."
Something in his eyes as he met Dazai's, looked sincere and contrite. Dazai wasn't able to respond at this time though. He had to keep his concentration on staying conscious. He knew what was coming.
"That first day when I took you in after your very first suicide attempt… Such a milestone," he added bitterly as a joke. "I knew what you were. And what you were was-" he looked at the preacher. "-yes, a demonic prodigy. A potentially truly great future executive of the port mafia. And I was right. I stayed up days on end to make sure you wouldn't leave this world, because, you were close. Closer than my pride would like to admit. But, you pulled through. Just like you have, every time. Yes, you truly were my greatest achievement. And my absolute biggest disappointment." 
His finger lay resting on the trigger of the gun.
"I've spent many nights, lying awake and thinking of the most effective way to end you. I have quite a few good ideas, actually." Mori looked at his gun and shrugged. "This wasn't really one of them," he added.
"No, they were more... creative. Because, unfortunately, you're like a cockroach. Impossible to kill. No matter how many times you, I or anyone else, try to... you just won't stay dead!"
He took a deep breath. "Just like your father." 
Still pointing his gun at Dazai, he slowly moved closer. Elise was still keeping the ADA at bay, quickly reacting to any and all movements from the group.
Mori smirked. "I don’t like to leave a job half-done, so now, I want to finish what I started."
He lowered his gun and carefully picked Dazai off the ground, helping him slowly to stand up.
Dazai moaned silently, losing his breath for a moment as the pain of the new positioning shot through his back. He leaned heavily against Mori's strong shoulders, dragging his injured leg as he was supported towards Chuuya and his father.
Mori gave Dazai the gun. "I think you deserve to finish it, once and for all."
Chuuya finally released his grip on the preacher, letting him slide down the wall, but being ready to intervene if he would regain his strength and try anything stupid.
Dazai accepted the gun and pointed it shakingly towards his father, who let out breathless pleads as he sat against the wall.
To everyone's surprise, Dazai lowered the gun. Even if it hurt, he took a deep breath and gave it back to Mori. No words were shared between the two, but they understood each other better than any of them would like to admit.
Mori aided Dazai carefully back to the floor, close to the preacher and Chuuya. Then, he walked back, picking up the dagger that the preacher had lost in the midst of Chuuya's attack and gave it to Dazai.
At that point, Dazai had forgotten all about anyone around him. He only felt the weight of the knife in his hand.
With great difficulty, he dragged himself closer, repeating the words that were engraved on the knife again and again inside his mind, until he sat, leveled with his father and abuser, looking intently into his eyes.
He raised the dagger with the very last bit of strength he had in his body.
"Forgive me father, for I have sinned," he said hoarsely in a voice as dead as his eyes. "I'm about to take a man of God's life... A man who has taken advantage of your name and abused the power you hold over your disciples. A man who killed his wife and several daughters, taking your place as the prosecutor, judge, and executor of what he deemed to be unworthy life... I stand before you as my father's son... and his shadow weighs a ton. So, please, do listen to a fucking sinners chagrin, and forgive me for the sin I'm about to commit."
Dazai thrust himself forward, unfeeling, uncaring and completely blinded by the immense power of rage and hate. The blood spatter didn't even register as he lunged the knife into the soft flesh of his father again and again and again and again- until his body shut off, and he collapsed in a pool of his own and his father's blood, hyperventilating and unable to move.
Once again everything around him stopped making a single sound. He wasn't sure if there simply wasn't any, or if he had fainted.
His last hypothesis was proven wrong as he recognized Chuuya's legs, settling by his side, placing a bag in front of him.
He recognized the tan coat that was being retrieved from the bag. Oda's coat- his coat. Chuuya gently placed it over his shoulders, carefully helping Dazai to rest his head on the softness of the redhead's lap, reassuringly caressing his blood-soaked mop of dark, unruly hair.
"I'm so sorry," he whispered in Dazai's ear. Several familiar voices morphing into nothing but unnecessary noise as Dazai closed his eyes.
An then, he was unable to open them again.
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leonawriter · 6 years ago
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Stray Dogs and Tiger Cubs
Read it on AO3
Fandom: Bungo Stray Dogs
Characters: Dazai, Kunikida, Atsushi (so far).
Pairings: Gen, may change in later chapters.
Summary: What started out as rumours of a dangerous beast on the loose not far from Yokohama turn into Dazai carrying an eight year old boy back to the the Agency.
A boy whose name is Atsushi, and will now not let go of Dazai, who hadn't signed up to be a parent, but it looks like that's the way things are going regardless.
...
Two years.
Two years, Dazai had been a member of the Armed Detective Agency, had become a trusted employee (somehow, he still isn't quite sure how that happened), and had gone on many investigations for them, at times pushing him to the edge of his capabilities as someone who no longer used all of the skills he had learned while in the mafia.
And yet... two years had passed, and Kunikida  still wouldn't let him back behind the wheel of a car.
Needless to say, driving out to some place out in the sticks, away from Yokohama, while being subjected to Kunikida's slow and near-torturous driving was not his idea of fun, and yet, he couldn't even place the blame solely on someone else. 
He had, after all, volunteered. 
More to the point, Dazai had heard about the stories, these rumours of a wild animal loose in the outskirts of the area, close enough to the city and so many people to be a worry, yet having stories that never quite made sense - since, if a wild beast had suddenly appeared, then where could it have come from? Where did it go, when it disappeared, for days, sometimes even weeks on end? - and told everyone that he would investigate the matter, and that should have been the end of it, if it weren't for the entire Agency deciding that he was by no means allowed to drive, and since there weren't any buses, and who knew if he'd need back-up on a case like this...
And so, that was how they came to - slowly - pull up at a large, forbidding looking building, and why, when Kunikida made to get out of the car once they were parked, Dazai managed to slip out with enough time to lean over at the driver's side window with a smile on his face.
"Nowadays, if two men go into a place like an orphanage together, it'll be taken as a given that they're a couple! We can't possibly have that, now can we?"
And Dazai wasn't sure if they would make such assumptions, or if they'd care, but there was Kunikida's list of fifty-eight requirements for the ideal woman that he still had yet to find (if she even existed) and he could hardly get in the way of that, now could he?
Nor was Kunikida himself the kind of person that Dazai himself would want to be seen as getting involved with in such a way, partnership in the Agency notwithstanding.
Which was how he came to walk up to that building, eyes narrowed somewhat in dark suspicion, hands still in his pockets.
...
Only the deepest of respect for a guest, and even more for someone who - according to their hopes, at least - might walk away with one of the many children staring at him from the corners of the hallways, the cracks in the doors.
Odasaku had told him to save the children, the orphans, but there were so many, too many, and he was here for a reason. On a mission.
He had to know if this was truly the source of all of those rumours... the sounds that people heard at night, of a beast.
It was child's play to slip past while no one was paying attention, to as a few leading questions, to listen to the children, to pretend that he didn't know what he was doing, or where he was going.
...
The cage - because what else could it be called, really - reminded him far too much of the basements and soundproofed hidden rooms in the mafia buildings, where torture and interrogation had always taken place.
But that wasn't an adult being held for questioning, down there, but a child, held in place by means that only increased his suspicions and the number of questions he needed answers to.
Odasaku would know what to do, he couldn't help but think, seeing the child glaring. It's one thing to ask that of me, but... 
...
You shouldn't be here, the man was saying, you can't handle that child.
Dazai saw as the evening moonlight slowly lit up the area they were in, turning a scared boy into an enraged tiger.
Perhaps he should have been more concerned. That would have been the normal, human sort of reaction to such a thing occurring, Dazai thinks, and yet he can't feel such things at all.
Instead of fear for his life, or those around him, he simply feels anger.
I think, he hears himself say, reaching out a hand to white fur that he's only able to touch for a moment, that I can.
The locks were clearly only meant to prevent a child - or a tiger - from escaping, but not to truly prevent anyone from getting in. It's ridiculously simple for him to open them up, to reach in, to take out the child who had fallen to the hard ground in a complete faint.
I'm leaving, he says, and he does.
Or rather, they do.
...
Kunikida sees him come back up to the car and gets out of the seat where he had to have been dozing off, after the amount of time Dazai had taken, and the lack of signals sent to suggest that he would actually need any help, ready to berate him for wasting their time, no doubt.
And then he sees the child in Dazai's arms, and he asks the question that Dazai had been dreading ever since he had first realised what it was that he was doing, back in there.
"Dazai... what are you doing with a child?"
He blinks, because, honestly speaking he doesn't have a decent answer.
"Kunikida-kun, the door. I have my hands full."
Kunikida doesn't open the door to the back seats behind the passenger, where Dazai would be sitting, straight away. 
"We came out here to find a dangerous beast, not a-"
"We did," Dazai says, still finding it surprisingly hard to keep his voice level, and low. "This is Nakajima Atsushi," he says, by means of introduction. Atsushi, for what it's worth, doesn't shift a muscle. "Atsushi turns into a white tiger in the moonlight."
The door finally opens, and Dazai doesn't just strap the boy in, but follows, rather than sitting in the front like he had before. After all, if they were going to be driving at night, the safest thing would be to ensure that Atsushi wouldn't be able to unconsciously trigger off his ability again.
"Do you have any idea," Kunikida says through gritted teeth as they pull away from the orphanage, "how to look after a child?"
"Ah... no?"
Kunikida's frustrated huff was expected, but at the same time, it was one of those rare occasions when the reaction made Dazai wonder if he was up to the task - of being a good person like Odasaku had asked of him, of being a decent member of the Agency, of society in general, and now, on top of it all, he had somehow become responsible for a boy with no control over his own ability, who was too young to be recruited into the Agency in order for the President's own ability to work its magic.
Odasaku, help, he found himself thinking, hand curled up in a young boy's hair. What do I do?
...
AN: I've seen a fair few "Dazai adopts Atsushi" AUs floating around, and a lot more "no powers" AUs at that. This is my take on the former, but without the latter.
For extra fun, anyone who's read the manga chapter (or watched the episode, once it's out) "Portrait of a Father", please imagine what's going on in the minds of the people on the other side of things here.
I'm really only planning on writing important snippets and stuff, but we've seen how that goes with other stories, so... watch this space?
Oh, and, important note: there's a feeling I get from Dazai that, well... no, he's not being homophobic or anything, he's just Taken, and in denial, and, well, someone please teach him better ways to say these things. Please.
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drangues · 4 years ago
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I hope you’re right, but the future remains to be seen. On the upside, I’m finally gonna be able to see my therapist again! Which is good because I can finally report back on how my meds are doing. Also nooo I’m sorry your teacher is a Fool, that sucks. They clearly don’t know Good Kitty Doodles when they see them. Anyways, YEAH their dynamic is one of my favorites, they’re like. The definition of the vitriolic best buds trope, I feel like? (Nyanon, 1/7)
And it is a bit annoying when people reduce them to Kunikida hating Dazai and Dazai mocking Kunikida, because like you said, that’s part of it!!! But they also trust each other a lot, Dazai genuinely believes that Kunikida is a good man and I do think he tries to base a lot of his morals off of Kunikida’s (and Oda and Atsushi and Fukuzawa, but this isn’t about them), and I think that, while he finds Dazai’s antics annoying, Kunikida very clearly trusts and cares about him? (Nyanon, 2/7)
Sure he thinks he could take things more seriously, but he trusts in his ability to get the job done when it needs to happen, and he even plays into his antics a few times! That fic does sound like them though, Dazai being Extra and Kunikida being exasperated because “you’re dying and this isn’t a manga (unless we break the fourth wall)??? Please focus on staying alive so you can actually confess to the brat.” I love the two of them so much. (Nyanon, 3/7)
Moving on a bit, I seem to have bad luck with friends??? If they don’t randomly stop talking to me if they’re online friends (not for mean reasons, contact just tapers off), then I’ve has like. Physically abusive friends and friends who lied to me and took advantage of how gullible I was as a kid? I’d hope I get a friend like that but at this rate I’ve accepted my lot as a hermit. I am an introvert though, so I guess it’s fair. Back to BSD, though! (Nyanon, 4/7)
I BET OLD ATSUSHI GETS IT FROM FUKUZAWA, he’s been taught his Ways. And Atsushi is probably the one giving people hugs half the time, he’s touch starved and very nice to hold and be held by, again, like a cat- Speaking of, at least it’s a nice rent free thought and not something Super Weird like the theme song of a kids show (yes I hate having songs stuck in my head). But yeah, poor thing needs hugs, preferably from the rest of the ADA when he’s feeling inadequate. (Nyanon, 5/7)
I want them to tell him how much he means to them and shower him with love and affection. And listen, Atsushi is a Literal catboy but he isn’t anywhere near as chaotic as Dazai is, he isn’t a sadist, he isn’t a sugar addict, he isn’t,, The Tanizaki Family (TM), as far as Kunikida is concerned it’s a dream come true. The fact that he actually does try his best and take on extra work when Kunikida is overwhelmed is just a bonus. (Nyanon, 6/7)
Also Atsushi is an indulgent big brother who says fuck gender norms, he adores Kyouka to bits and if she wants him to model some fashion that she likes then he isn’t gonna say no. Anyways, moving on to another Scenario Concept: I’m reading a chat fic right now, so how do you think that’d go with BSD? I know they aren’t action stories but they’re always great if you find a good one,,, I feel like there’d be pictures of Atsushi as a tiger are being thrown around at lightspeed. (Nyanon, 7/7)
WOOO HELL YEAH IM GLAD YOU CAN GET BACK TO YOUR THERAPIST!! make sure to take not of EVERYTHING all right?? dont reduce to “eh it’s fine” S M H
and yes!!! i also hate how theyre reduced like that, though we also got the anime adaption to blame here because they really love to Crank That Part Of The Dynamic up, so the fans are not TOO much to blame. Plus as you said, they trust each other a lot clearly. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MAN FUCK ALL YOUR FRIENDS YOUVE HAD SO FAR S M H, i hope the abusive ones Rot In Hell they did not deserve to do that to you i swear. i understand if this makes you be more closed off but please dont let that hinder you from experiencing the true beauty of people that actually care!!! relationships/friendships take time to build so just have patience im sure youll get someone soon!! i believe in you!!
man you have songs stuck in your head?? mood, i feel that, it’s pretty hard for me to have Something stuck in my head for too long because of how many different thoughts my brain spits out constantly, it’s like several tabs open with many of them playing different sounds it’s all a M E S S but i like it uwu
atsushi is the Least weird in the ADA and kunikida appreciates him, im sure kunikida is the type to say something caring in a threatening voice and then play it off as something Logical like “make sure to not overwork yourself- good health is important for good work ethics”
i’m sure atsushi would feel weird being shoved feminine stuff in his face at first, but because he cant say and loves kyouka to bits he would sit through it and start actually liking it because really, why Not? Whats Wrong Exactly? nothing. thats the point.
I WANT A CHATFIC OF THE ADA LIKE FROM WHEN ATSUSHI FIRST GETS HIS PHONE AND ALL THE CHATFICS THERE MAN (though except for all those intense ass arcs man i like fics where i ignore the canon arcs that happened because F U C K that personally, bsd has VERY emotionally draining arcs imo and mainly the reason i stuck around is cause of the characters OSGDHJSK)
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