#kt:eval

[rkhyeri]

* cupcakes & cheer!

          christmas time is a treasure trove of memories for her: reminders of when she’d first joined kt and the cast of dream high to deliver shoeboxes to charity, and then the previous year when they’d all decorated the large company tree together as a show of seasonal solidarity. would this year be any less magical...? no, not with ktrookies under her belt and the realization that this christmas might be the most special one of all. that’s why, when she hands over a present to a waiting child, the smile on hyeri’s face is the brightest and most sincere she’s ever felt. it feels so good to give when she’s been given so much. 

         later, with now-empty hands, hyeri approaches the lunch table and pilfers one of the neatly-decorated cupcakes from a plate. she peels off the green and red decorated wrapper and sidles over to kris who’s nearby. “have you ever had a mint-flavored cupcake?” she asks curiously, and examines the pale green-colored cake beneath the red frosting. “i wonder if the kids made it.”

@rkkris

[rkxrm]

Plotcall

Still looking for a vocalist or rapper to do the eval with Kris!

[rkhyeri]

                          ♥ santa baby !

                                        december eval; with kt girls

          could this be it-- one of her final holiday performances as just a trainee? hyeri wishes she was so optimistic to believe it undoubtedly, and yet, already this year wasn’t like the rest. already, their rookie videos were online and, already, the plans behind the scenes were moving forward. taking time out to record and film for special music videos-- didn’t that mean something was going to happen?

         ( she could only hope so. )

         there are so many questions she desires to ask but so few answers given to those brave enough to ask them. as hyeri attires herself in the first ‘party’ costume and looks around the dressing room at the other company girls, she wonders if they will be the ones she’ll absolutely debut with. what if there are last minute changes to the lineup-- like yulhee, who had gone when hyeri believed she’d always be their maknae-- or the addition of someone new, like the pretty jennie she’d only come recently to meet? admittedly, it makes hyeri anxious to be faced with so many unguessable questions. what if it was her who eventually didn’t make the cut?

         all the more reason to do her best, she supposes. hyeri hypes herself up for the first performance with a double pinch to her cheeks and a quiet ‘hwaiting!!’ to her reflection. above all the intrusive doubts and insecurities is her assurance that being an idol and being on stage is what she loves most in the world. these holiday shows couldn’t be waved away as being unnecessary or not important; to her, every opportunity to be up there meant a chance that someone would see her and like her. she had to do her best to shine. hyeri owed it not only to herself but to those who believed in her -- her dad, joohee, her friends.

         she wouldn’t waste these three years for nothing.

         as a trainee of kt, it turns out that aegyo performances are really nothing to her. it’s easy enough with their constant practicing in the company to produce fanservice practically on cue. the fans eat it up, pay money for it, and hyeri doesn’t mind giving these people what they want if they ask for it. even if her singing is substandard in a number, people seem to enjoy it regardless when she blows kisses at them -- both boys and girls alike -- and makes cute faces in their direction. rather than concentrating on perfecting her lines, hyeri experiments with these reactions whenever it’s their turn to re-enter the stage. for ‘i love you,’ she turns up her personal charm a dozen-fold, winking and dazzling the freezing audience with warm smiles and sweet expressions to make them believe in happiness if she were to embrace them in her slender arms.

[rkhyeri]

* rianna

          proud? excited? hyeri was grasping at thin air, simply unable to find the right words these days to express this bubbly, effervescent feeling of happiness that filled her at the sight of yeri. “baby! or should i try calling you ‘anna’ now?” the dancer still wasn’t over it; this realization that the time had come for them to be revealed to the public now, to be on their way as idols debuting under the kt name. she and ye--anna were even released on the same weekend -- a fated match-up if she’d ever experienced one. hyeri practically skips over to yeri’s side, her slim arm looping through the other’s as she presses a playful smooch to the side of yeri’s cheek. the rehearsal studio is filling up with the fellow girls now, in preparation of their dance practice yet to occur, and hyeri takes full advantage of this quiet time to monopolize all of yeri’s attention to herself. “how did your filming go? were they hard on you?” concern lilts hyeri’s voice as well as a bristling defense (anyone who made yeri upset was doomed to punishment by her!) and the older hums quietly. “y’know, this’ll be our first stage after our video, too. i’m kinda nervous.”

@rkyeri

[rkhyeri]

` nov eval ♥ * mock interview

          “sit straight and don’t tell them you’re dating.”

         if the advice had actually been uttered in the lecture hall, it would have been funnier. straight and to the point-- reporters would take this approach with their questions sometimes, hyeri knew, and the instructor told them all to be prepared for it. the art of extracting gossip had as many complex ebb and flows as any well-written song: like an in-your-face chorus, designed to shock out the truth from startled lips, and then, at times, an elegant bridge and refrain to lull an unsuspecting idol into a false sense of security. when feeling safe, sometimes the best secrets were teased out with just a reporter’s coaxing smile.

         essentially: avoid the traps.

         hyeri straightens her back in the seat and gives the camera a cursory glance. she’s aware she looks pretty, thanks to the stylists’ expert touches, but the state of her nerves is hardly in a similar state of control. she’ll be fine though. unlike in a performance that drags out her inferior singing skills, this is an act of merely talking to someone else; hyeri knows she can handle it without a real problem. ( besides dancing, this might be her only skill worth being prideful about. ) she plays with the buttons of her collared shirt and nods when her coach asks her if she’s ready. the camera’s red recording light flicks on in reply.  

         “what’s your position in the group?”

         “personal confidant, sometimes dishwasher,” hyeri jokes. her red lips part into a bright smile. “but on stage, i’m the main dancer. when you see someone pop up for a few seconds during dance breaks-- that’s me!”

         “aside from your position, what special talents do you think you have?”

         she pauses, inwardly sorting through some possible answers here: modeling? boring. can’t sing or rap, either. whistle on cue, maybe? “one time i lifted a producer off the ground,” hyeri recalls enthusiastically. she eyes each one of the coaches in turn. “if one of you wants to try--” the reply is an immediate ‘no’ and hyeri pouts, drawing her lips together and widening her eyes in an expression of pleading. ‘no,’ is heard again and she relents, visibly disappointed.

         “rank your group members according to visual ranking.”

         “this is super subjective, right?” she raises a single finger to her mouth and presses a quick, teasing kiss to it. “then i’ll be first. after that… well, we’re all really pretty, aren’t we?” hyeri’s features twist thoughtfully, a gradual realization dawning on her as she pictures each trainee’s face in her mind. “we really are. we’re going to have so many fans, wow!” the coach clears his throat, reminding the dancer of the original question and hyeri exhales with a knowing smile. “there’s sunyoung, tiffany, and taeyeon as the next after me, for sure. sooyoung is extremely attractive, i mean those legs, please, even those make me weak. and yeri’s still got her baby charm-- she’s my baby, by the way-- so she’s not allowed to be attractive until she’s 30.”

         “you were a trainee for three years. was it difficult?”

         a previously-amused expression fades into one more complicated. it wasn’t the training that had bothered hyeri so much all these years but the personal losses. heartbreak and the friendships lost-- those hurt more than the skinned knees and bruised bones. “wondering if debut was going to happen was the hardest part,” she admits in a gentler tone. “I’m doing what i love and that’s easy enough to justify why i’m doing what i’m doing, but sometimes… you meet a lot of good people along the way who aren’t with you in the end.” she thinks of woohyun then, who’d left to make his dreams happen somewhere else. was he happy, too? she hopes so. “that’s the difficult part to me: all the goodbyes that happen in between the other days.”

         the questions that follow are answered on autopilot; her lips moving in reply, but hyeri is still thinking of this one question after much time has passed. she recalls the faint images of those who have left the company in these long three years of training: seungmi, soyeon, hyejeong. hyeri has conditioned herself over time not to miss those who are long gone now, for succumbing to nostalgia proved never to be a mentally healthy path for her. hyeri remembers all too well those almost friendships that petered out into nothing in the end. the encouraging smiles and telling each other that ‘all would be well!’ when they finally reached that stage together.

         so many goodbyes just for one chance to say ‘hello’ to the entire world; it’s the kind of heartbreak she doesn’t think anyone can easily get over.

[rkhyeri]

                       ` oct. eval `17

                               tread with caution ⇾ tw: depression, mental instability, insecurity

          pushing one’s body to the limit did a lot more than serve up numbers on a coach’s typed-in ipad. to hyeri, it’s an escape-- a release that lets her mind flutter free as her physical body takes over with straining muscles and flexed limbs. in this one minute of punishment, she’s encouraged to push all other thoughts out of her head; these overwhelming pillars of stress and the heavy hooks of insecurity that keep her from doing her best each and every day. she focuses only on the silent whisper of counted numbers in her mind as she propels herself repeatedly up above the ground.

         one, two, three…

         once upon a time, all hyeri could think about was improving upon her dancing. late night rehearsals until the early morning, and constantly dogging the choreographers about how to best stretch her muscles and use her body for the art. when piper was still around, she motivated the younger’s competitive spirit to do better, to be better until hyeri could count herself as the top dancer in the company. the problem is... now she is.

         nobody had ever told her what to do next once her goal had been reached.

         ‘protect it’ is the obvious answer, but being at the top is a lonely place and loneliness, more than ambition, and more than personal pride, proves to be the ghost taunting hyeri’s tentative happiness. because she isn’t happy-- that much she knows. waking up in the mornings is getting harder, and hyeri finds herself gravitating to the gym after lessons much more often than the dance studio where she should be. losing herself to the meditation of yoga, and working her body out punishingly hard like she does now for a test is the only way to release all these pent-up emotions.

         she wants to talk to yura. wants to find out who keeps her roommate’s thoughts preoccupied when hyeri’s not there. she wants to hug tiffany. tell her she’s sorry for overreacting about royal survival. how she wishes both of them had gone. she wants to figure out love. why she doesn’t want it. why thoughts of myungsoo still hurt her even after he’s been gone for so, so long. and why couldn’t she just start over? woohyun is gone. and how she misses her friend and sometimes wishes she could go with him.

         she wants to cry. she wants to laugh and be as happy and optimistic as hyeri knew she used to be. ‘kt’s laugh grenade’ in charge of making everyone happy but herself. she wants to disappear; wonders what it’s like to be a normal girl again. she wants more.

         instead, she only exists. day to day. night after night. she pushes herself only to keep existing. hyeri hears the ticking of the timer as she pumps her upper body upwards and already she’s counted twenty-seven push-ups in half the time that’s left. she’s in great shape because what else does she have? not a great singing voice, not a single creative thought in her head. only her body that’s the company’s to use as they want, whenever they want.

         existing or waiting for the unknown to come-- she doesn’t know what’s worse.

[rkhyeri]

#rknov17eval * mock interview - special lecture hall w. shin hyungmin

          in one ear and out the other. the longer she sits here, listening to the droning voice of shin hyungmin go on about ‘honesty isn’t the best policy,’ the more frustrated hyeri feels. it’s true that being stuck in a lecture theatre is a welcome change of pace from her usual routine but how irritatingly similar this feels to being back in high school, with the staff treating them like unthinking children. like those without autonomy, who lack common sense to have to be told “sit up straight and don’t tell them who you’re dating.”

         it’s all so obvious.

         she unwraps a cracker and nibbles on the snack, careful to keep crumbs off her clothes and the noise level low as she fills up on her lunch for the day. hyeri tunes the speaker out and settles instead for glancing around the auditorium at those in attendance. familiar faces fill the seats everywhere and some of these faces cause a knowing smile to touch her lips. ah. maybe there were a fair few who could use the advice to keep their mouths shut after all. between the sns scandals of the last few years and the amount of accidental walk-ins hyeri had experienced with certain passionate couples at seocho, to those with a perchance for gossip, the reporters would have enough juicy tidbits given to them to last them for years.

         she almost felt envious of them. the dancer slowly munches on the last cracker in the pack to keep herself from sighing with discontentment as she reflects inwardly. hyeri wasn’t ashamed of her work ethic ( one of her personal pride points, actually ) but how boring to not have anything remotely scandalous attached to her name. aside from a few friendships with males in other companies -- she hadn’t forgotten those outings with jonghyun and yixing that might cause a few raised eyebrows -- there wasn’t even a whiff of smoke about anything else worth noting down. for an idol, wouldn’t that be tantamount to a death sentence? to be forgettable?

         her eyes land on jongdae seated several rows away and hyeri finds herself humming silently to herself. maybe some things still had time to change.

[rkhyeri]

                                                                  ♥ bubble bubble pop pop !

                                         september eval; to hyuna’s “bubble pop”                                                        0:18 - 1:11, 2:04 - 2:17

          the most relieving thing is the lack of an audience. despite the constant appearances hyeri has made in front of crowds of people ( which can vary between the public masses and, at other times, being the spectacle of all the trainees in the different companies - the worst setup ), hyeri can never seem to shed the anxious, jittery feeling preceding a solo performance.

         because she’s never thought of herself as a solo.

         even in her acting classes, hyeri imagines herself to be part of an ensemble, and in dance classes, it’s just a fact that the most exciting choreography comes with along the participation of others. synchronization looks best in a multiple-person visual and, when she’s solo, hyeri finds it easier to disguise weaknesses and mistakes on her own part. she’s not flawless -- far from it, really -- and that’s why just the thought of stepping forward and into that small evaluation room makes her positively sick with distress. with dance, at least, she can force the judges’ shrewish eyes to look past what she can’t do to look at what she can do. ‘that’ll distract them.’ ‘that’ll make them forget about the other things.’

         but this evaluation doesn’t allow it. hyeri is naturally hesitant as she finally makes her way into the room and pauses at the center of the ‘stage’ floor. some might say that the girls who possess the strongest charisma cause everyone to stare the moment she’ll walk into a room; but, for hyeri, it wasn’t like that at all. rather, her charm appeared only when she willed it to, allowing herself to fade into the background and become no one until hyeri decided it was time to ensnare the attention she desires. it’s easier to live this way ( and much less of a headache ) and so hyeri isn’t surprised when she looks out towards the evaluators and realizes no one seems too enthused to pay notice to her.

         not until she speaks. “I’ll be singing along to “bubble pop” today,” hyeri introduces suddenly, and loudly. the sheer volume of her voice has the bored ones looking up in an instant and the vocal coach who supervised her over the training camp only shakes his head in mild amusement. the rebellious part of hyeri wants to shout aloud at them: who cares what you think about the way i sing when there’s others to do it? all the while her head clamors that she be cautious; every poor evaluation here could cost hyeri her contract and already she’s practically shaking with anxiety as she accepts the microphone from the staff.

         here goes nothing.

         an easy song with easy lyrics, hyeri does her best to stay on pitch as she sings along with the catchy chorus. here and there, she can’t resist her body from moving instinctively -- a twist and shake of the hips adding to the sexiness of the original choreography as she moves back and forth across the stage. but whereas hyeri would usually emphasize this part of her performance intentionally, this time, she can’t. it takes all of hyeri’s concentration to focus on not missing the words or the beat as she sings. hyeri’s voice isn’t high-pitched, in the mezzo-soprano range at best, but she tries hard to remember what her coach instructed her about using her falsetto for the high notes. but hyeri keeps forgetting to breathe from her diaphragm ( the whole notion of singing from the stomach remains a foreign concept to her when a voice should come from the neck! ) and so it isn’t long before hyeri begins to feel the familiar strain welling up in her throat. she chokes on the second chorus when the limiting sensation becomes too much, wincing as her voice cracks from not hitting the right note at the right time. the dancer doesn’t have to look at the vocal coach to guess at his thoughts -- “there’s no saving everyone” -- and it depresses the girl’s mood even as hyeri presses on to finish her piece desperately. not even a hard song and she’d screwed up; the thought haunts her, sickens hyeri when, at last, she lowers the microphone at the music’s conclusion.

         “thank you for listening,” she says politely, dejectedly. there’s no applause, no words, no looks of encouragement directed her way and hyeri knows the cold reception is exactly what she deserves. when she leaves the room, it’s all that consumes hyeri’s mind -- coldness, and the growing realization that her desire to improve her singing can’t remain a shallow goal. it has to be done.

[rkhyeri]

                                    ♥ bootcamp week: september evaluation `17                     it’s not easy for hyeri to ignore the air of despondency currently clouding up the practice studio’s four walls. just one curious glance around is enough for her to spot the miserable faces that surround her. yet, there are some who, like her, have entered into this boot camp with their bodies stiff with determination to improve. hyeri is fully aware that singing is a failing of hers -- how many group evals did she need before figuring that out -- but it’s equally as obvious that it’ll be an unavoidable task she’ll need to reconcile with if she ever wants to break free of this trainee dungeon.

          ( not that she hadn’t tried for that disguised approach; except the last time hyeri suggested to her vocal coach that she planned on staying in the back while mouthing along with the main singers’ parts, she’d suffered her ears burning from his scolding for several painful hours afterwards. )

           in the end, hyeri knew they were telling her to improve for her own sake as well as for the company’s. how many idols were crucified by netizens for being ‘untalented’ during their short vocal lines? that kind of criticism was damaging -- a label stuck onto someone and unable to be shed for years unless they managed to show some kind of development much later on. hyeri didn’t want that label, she didn’t want to be thought of the ‘worst’ one, the weakest link, when she was surrounded by beautiful girls who all offered something amazing for a future group. she wanted to stand out but never for that reason; never because of her incompetency in doing a necessary thing.

           “what’s your pitch?” the vocal coach demands of her once hyeri approaches him after the day’s long practice session is over. most of the trainees are already leaving and hyeri stares after them with a wistfulness that betrays her desire to be one of them. the trainer scoffs loudly and hyeri promptly holds out the lyric sheet to “bubble pop” for him to inspect. it’s a decent song, well within her meager capabilities to attempt anyway, and the trainer nods slowly, handing it back to her along with his agreement. “i was convinced you were gonna show me “gashina” there for a second,” he drawls and hyeri smiles tightly back. she tucks the paper back into her bag and answers in an overly-dry tone: “i was going to, sir.”

[rkhyeri]

                                     ⁽   we’ll be each other’s                                     company, oh, company   ₎

                                                    august eval ♥ with @rkzyx                                                                    ♬ insp.

         when yixing had originally presented her with his song choice for the evaluation, admittedly, hyeri hadn’t hesitated a second before agreeing to it. she trusted her partner well enough to make a suitable choice for them without her input and he had. however, on second thought, the dancer thinks the song might have been a little too suitable for them. 

          it’s not until hyeri’s alone at home, earbuds plugged in and foot lazily tapping out the rhythm to the beat that she notices it: the utter familiarity of the lyrics compared to her and yixing’s current relationship. she could have pegged it down to coincidence ( after all, most people liked the biebs’ music even if they couldn’t stand the artist himself ) but, once hyeri had gotten the idea in her head -- that these lyrics hit way too close to home -- she simply couldn’t abandon it afterwards. only two months had passed since yixing asked her out to the restaurant to talk and hyeri still remembered the deadened look in his eyes as they spoke about those personal things. love troubles, where they’d been, where they’d been going; above all, hyeri remembered the tone of yixing’s voice and how well it’d matched her own depressing one once myungsoo had left her ( again. )

         they really had been each other’s company. ‘just wanna have a conversation/forget about the obligations.’ biebs’ voice crooned through the studio’s speakers and hyeri couldn’t shake away the similarity, even during a rehearsal when she should be focusing on the choreography instead. yixing teaches it to her himself, improvising moves from his own imagination and asking for her opinion every now and then during the partnered movements. hyeri does her best during all of that, forcing a smile and then smiling for real whenever the male catches her fake act in a moment of attention. she’s not immune to his worried glances every now and then but hyeri’s too much of a liar to let him know the thoughts that continually plague her.

         sometimes ‘just friends’ is complicated, too.                    “what do you think of--”          “no, raise your leg more there--”          “are you sure about--?”          “spin out here--”          “you take my hand and, no, wait, let’s do this--”

         it takes trial and error, bumps and bruises, lots of laughs and painful nights before hyeri feels like she’s ready for the performance. yixing’s choreography is fun, playful, and the dancer can’t believe how utterly a contrast it is to the very real problems that keep her up awake at night. she still worries about yixing, hopes that his troubles have lessened in the last four weeks, but there’s guilt, too, that hyeri has only added on to his personal burdens with this dance. And afterwards… when this performance is done and over, they’ll have to go back to friends with no obligations. ones who talk only when an ear and a shoulder is needed for the other to cry on. it’s an unsettling, bittersweet reality.

         “kt’s laugh grenade, lee hyeri, here to dance!” the girl announces cheerfully on the day of the performance. she salutes the judges with a wave of her hand and her dancer coach rolls his eyes dramatically-- a bit too used to this particular trainee’s antics. “just get on with it,” the male coach growls and hyeri grins in response, afterwards tugging at yixing’s arm excitedly.

         “he’s a fan of us already, i know it,” she whispers in her partner’s ear. hyeri reaches up to adjust the collar of the flannel shirt yixing wears, smoothing it out with the palms of her hands and glancing up at him with a warm smile. “i’m your fan, too, you know? let’s do this, chicken-lover zhang yixing,” she teases. her own costume is just as casual as his: ragged denim shorts and an oversized flannel shirt to cover a simple graphic tee underneath. the couple’s fashion is subtle but unmistakable, designating her and yixing as a unit as they take their starting positions on the floor.

         yixing had been adamant about giving hyeri enough parts in the choreography to show off her own skills and she agreed to take advantage of every single one of them, starting at the very beginning. when the music starts, she’s already in character, gifting her dance partner with a flirty smile as she struts forward to the center. she’s the flame and yixing is her willing moth, coming towards hyeri and complimenting her movements with his graceful ease. once the choreography had been nailed down, fostering the chemistry between the two dancers had come next. that, of course, had been the easy part.

You ain't gotta be my lover For you to call me baby Never been about no pressure Ain't that serious

         they separate and dance together, limbs extending and feet moving in sync with one another. it is rare that hyeri gets to dance with a male on par to her skill ( taemin being the only one for a long time ) and she still feels the headiness on stage of getting to dance freely, without having to be too thoughtful of making her companion look weaker in comparison. yixing could hold his own against her, so well as to make her worry about what she’d look like beside him-- a novel sensation. that kind of challenge drives her -- inspires her to work harder and to dance even better than before.

Can we, we keep Keep each other company? Maybe we, can be Be each other's company Oh company

         every touch of yixing’s hand feels like fire against her skin and clothing. this man represents comfort to her, a reliable partner whose very touch lets her know that he’s there, ready to catch her. hyeri trusts him to do just that, relaxing her slim frame and letting him twist and drop her in the elegant flow of the routine. his grip around her waist is strong and supportive, and her answering smile is all too real as hyeri looks up at yixing once more. he drifts away to dance his solo part and she can’t look away from him even if she wanted to. yixing’s charisma is magnetic, too attractive for someone like her to want to run away from.

         ( she’d be outright lying to say her heart didn’t flutter at moments like this. )

         she rises with the tips of his fingers beneath her chin. hyeri’s lips part around quickened breaths and she effortlessly transitions back into their couple’s dance. together, apart, his hands on her hips and her eyes on the audience, dancing feels like a dream when it’s this easy with one another. it also lets hyeri forgets all her thoughts except those that matter in the moment: where to put what foot where, at what beat. where the hands go.

         the other thoughts she can leave for later.

[rkhyeri]

⁽   let me be your company.   ₎

          hyeri squats down on her heels, slim fingers reaching down to tie her shoelaces neatly back into place while, at the same time, glancing up at her partner. “oppa, did you come up with this choreography?” she asks yixing with obvious interest. choreography is like a dream to her -- an elusive and out of reach talent for someone like hyeri who lacks the necessary vision to design it on her own without help. she’s always been so envious of the trainers, youtube artists, and even the fellow dance trainees surrounding her who could do it so easily. the girl heaves an audibly low sigh to admit to this limitation in herself; yixing is so much better at this than her, this dancing art that connects them but simultaneously is the reason for the distance hyeri feels is growing between them inside her head. she might be the senior trainee but yixing’s natural talent is undeniable and it fosters insecurity within; how could she hope to look good next to someone so graceful and handsome when they were together? hyeri is cute at best, and tall, but even she -- a learned swan and not a natural one -- begins to feel like this might be a mistake to pair them up together.

          » @rkzyx

[rkhyeri]

⁽  drip drip   ₎

above-ground subway entrance 7/29, 10:58am, gangnam

          heaven wasn’t happy. just one glance up towards the sky reveals that fact to her as darkening clouds become dismally more gray by the second. not just one temperamental cloud either, unfortunately, but the entire seoul sky looks painted with an ominous brush as hyeri stares. the rain drops are soon to follow, pricking her sweating skin with stinging pellets of coldness to make the dancer shiver in repulsion.

          “unnie!” she whines childishly at taeyeon. it’s less than two minutes before they’re scheduled to dance again and hyeri’s reluctance surfaces with a frown souring her expression. she practically hops over to where the older is and clings to the sleeve of their company-given shirts. “it’s raining.” loathing is infused into the pronouncement and hyeri points back at the sky, huffing loudly. “i can’t believe this!” 

          ♡ @rktaeyeon

[rkhyeri]

                                                            ⁽  i am the best !  ₎                                              global icon » kt ♥ eval

                                  music, look  ♡ with soyeon, yeri, taeyeon, mimi

          any regrets? none, save for these leather leggings that cling a little too intimately to hyeri’s thighs. sweating beneath stage lights is unavoidable, but paired up with skin-tight material that traps the beads in uncomfortable places-- there’s no lie to the phrase “fashion kills.” the dancer checks her reflection in the mirror again, pouting glossed lips and running slim fingers through her newly-dyed black hair. truth be told, she looks damn good.

          if only he could see it.

          bitterness rises like bile in the back of her throat and hyeri violently shakes her head to clear her thoughts. “you’re done with that, lee hyeri,” the dancer whispers and she stares straight into the glass. the young woman that looks back at her has lined-eyes full of steely determination and that is who she is now-- a product of sleepless rehearsal nights and ambition to rock this. a future idol in the making.

          “aye, let’s do it.”

          she meets the others backstage and touches hands with all. the girls in her group look great, in her immodest opinion, but that’s no surprise when kt boasts some of the best visuals in the country. pair beautiful faces with black leather and rhinestones and jaws will drop-- as evidenced by a stagehand who does just that. hyeri blows him a kiss and the red-faced youth gasps, flushing and hurrying away as quickly as he’d come. easy.

          “ready?” the stage manager asks and hyeri hears one of her group mates convey the ‘okay’ that brings the inevitable closer. the tall girl exhales slowly, eyes drifting closed as she slowly counts to one hundred to calm her natural jitters. no matter how many times hyeri did this, the anticipation always shook her within in the last seconds; trc being the company to impress (as well as her own) certainly didn’t help. but she’s not alone, for once, and there’s support in taeyeon’s eyes when hyeri meets the older girl’s stare. the dancer’s expression softens and so does her heart-- taeyeon had worked hard, probably the hardest of any of them to learn the high-energy choreography, and that was inspiration enough for hyeri to shelve her nervous feelings at once. as the one to begin the performance, there was no way she’d let anyone see less than her best for a single second.

          there’s no music when they walk out, only the cat-calling and cheers from the girls of their company in the audience who watch. hyeri even fancies she can distinguish tiffany’s voice loudest of all (but it might just be wishful thinking on her part!) she readies herself in the starting position and looks out into the sea of faces staring back at her. expecting things from her. well, she’d show them.

          the electronic beat blares loud from the speakers and hyeri immediately launches into the opening verse. the mic taped to her cheek picks up every word that she chants, a steady rhythm of “i am the best” over and over as the dancer strides forward confidently. they are the best, some of the most talented trainees the big company had to offer. taeyeon’s singing voice could move mountains. she and yeri could dance, drawing interested eyes like moths to a searing flame. soyeon could rap, injecting toughness and that edge of cool to seal the deal of this concept. and mimi-- new though she was, she’d filled in the gaps they’d needed perfectly. a true package of potential for the future. hyeri had no doubts that katie lee would be proud of them.

          ( now if only she’d let them debut. )

[rkhyeri]

⁽  w o w   ₎

          sometimes, hyeri is straight. other times, she thinks boundaries are a nuisance. with one look at this female, for instance, her thoughts toppled almost rudely into the second category because there’s no way this brief flare of attraction is one hundred percent hetero. “whoa.” the admission is said aloud, with doe eyes widening impossibly bigger as hyeri, quite literally, stops in her tracks. it’d been too long since she’d ventured into the trc part of seocho because, admittedly, thinking about trc is painful. after losing touch with bomi, hyeri shied away from thoughts of the company that had likely swallowed up a formerly good friend into an impossible-to-escape dungeon. that, or else bomi had fled from it all-- leaving not only dreams behind but also her friendship with hyeri, too. painful, painful, how easy it was to lose a best friend these days... when their dreams mattered more than the bonds they’d made to keep the former alive.

          but hyeri was curious. she’d wanted to see if bomi was still there, hiding somewhere in wait, and so the dancer had crossed invisible lines to where she knew the trc trainees would congregate eventually. she’d wait for a glimpse of her old friend or ask someone-- that had been the plan. it had been, anyway, until this visual had crossed her path and left the dancer practically speechless with awe. “you’re gorgeous,” hyeri admires of the stranger out loud, a few seconds passing before awareness returns and the girl offers her hand with a bright smile. “i’m hyeri.”  

          ♥ @rksica

[rkhyeri]

⁽  billion dollar baby  ₎

          “what do you think of it, unnie?”           being splayed out on the floor of taeyeon’s apartment is no unusual thing now. when hyeri had said she’d take advantage of the taeyeon’s open invitation into her home, the dancer had meant it with every fiber of her being. a promise consummated and then exploited to the fullest; current times see the dancer flat on her tummy on the carpeted floor and watching "i am the best” play on repeat on her unnie’s laptop screen. hyeri had seen global icon’s hit a dozen times since it debuted originally and possibly twice that amount in just eight hours since they’d all met up as a project group. recoup time after planning meant holing up with taeyeon afterwards, of course, and hyeri contentedly jams her hand into a chip bag before pulling out a few of the crisps to munch on. “it’s not so bad, right?”            “look, unnie, all you gotta do is shake your hips a bit and make a few sexy pouty faces, maybe. you can totally do it!”

          ♡ @rktaeyeon

[rkhyeri]

⁽  hot, hot  f i r e  ₎

          a warm, flirty smile leveled at a wardrobe stylist-in-training can literally open doors and hyeri proves it, pairing the gesture with a breathy, “thanks minjun,” as she grasps soyeon’s hand and leads the younger girl into kt’s voluminous costume warehouse. “he can give us fifteen minutes in here,” she whispers to her companion and hyeri doesn’t waste time in navigating the two of them towards the quote-unquote “bad girl” section. full of shiny black leather and metallic sequins in every outfit pairing imaginable, hyeri exhales audibly and finally releases soyeon’s hands in order to reach for the first thing that catches her eye: thigh-high black boots she’d die for. “obvs, i need these, but more obvious-- we gotta look around and get ideas for our own outfits.” hyeri practically purrs as she kicks off her flats and slides her foot inside the first of the tall boots. “i’m not sure if they’ll make stuff for us or what-- though, with all the money they’ve got they could certainly afford it!” her fingertips catch at the metal zipper and she zips up the boot to its full height. sighing happily, hyeri makes quick work of getting into the second. “but if they won’t, i refuse to go out in front of trc without looking my best. you agree, right?”

          ♡ @rkcheonso