#kris spews nonsense

[bornsexyesterday]

A picture of a chinchilla for people that dont know what a chinchilla is

[sequentialprophet]

So I’m watching all the old promos Best Friends have cut and I just love them? Absolute height of group stupidity and hype.  This entire video is unhinged in a way I love but specifically the way Trent just straight-faced says some absolute rambling bullshit and everyone just goes with it.  

“Maybe I’ll hide in a little...what is it called...toy crane machine? I’m gonna hide in one of those. I’m gonna be there for a long time and you’re just gonna think it’s normal, for weeks and months, you’re gonna think that thing is always there but guess what? I’m inside of it”

Orange absolutely breaking character laughing and Kris having to step in and shield him from the camera? Beautiful.

Chuck trying to step in when it’s clear Trent has completely lost the thread then just .... saying the same shit but with birthday cake instead of claw machine?  Exquisite. 

Also when Trent swears then is like “we can curse in this one because she did already”  😂

Full video here

[kovjiro]

Out of My League - an Aran Ojiro x chubby female reader SMAU - College!AU

Synopsis: Commitment can be scary, especially when the only taste of actual commitment has come through your three best friends. An absentee father and cruel classmates can do that to you - no foundational trust in men, only sustained by male counterparts continually making fun of you for your size and weight. You’re ready for change, though, and maybe change will come; as you set out for university in a new city miles away from your horrid adolescence, change is inevitable. A chance at growth, at love, and new adventures await you in this new part of your life but, really, you’d never think to find this all with the upperclassmen you’d deemed out of your league.

Warnings(for this chapter): written chapter, self-deprecating thoughts, underage alcohol consumption, explicit depictions of being drunk, very much angst, reader is big sad (Refer to masterlist for complete list of warnings for this SMAU

Masterlist | Prev. | Chapter Four: friend | Next

“It’s Kiyoko and Yachi, right?” you call out over the heavy base and electronic beats blasting throughout the room.

Earlier that evening you made your way to Aran’s dorm, along with Suna, Osamu, and Atsumu. Upon arriving Aran announced to all of you that a few friends would be coming along, two members of his frat and their first-year friend. Aran had seen the worry on your face, however, and didn’t hesitate to come up to you and reassure you of your worries. “They’ll love you, hun, I promise.”

His words eased your nerves a bit but meeting new people isn’t always a fun experience - there is no telling when someone will judge you because of what they see. They had been nice enough at first meet so now, here at the party a couple of shots in and one drink down, you have the confidence to let loose.

“That’s us,” the tall one with black hair says, who you deduce is Kiyoko. She’s insanely attractive in a mature and sophisticated sense, her aura demanding respect yet offering a sense of comfort as well. Beside her stands a small blonde girl, who you’ve been informed is the first-year friend and her underclassmen from high school. Yachi’s demeanor is completely different from that of Kiyoko, looking almost out of place with her uncapped drink in her hand. Regardless, there is no ignoring how breathtaking they both are in their own right.

“Y/n, yeah?” Kiyoko counters before taking a sip of her drink. “Aran has told me a lot about you.”

“Really?” Don’t get your hopes up, for the love of all things sacred and holy, don’t break your own heart. “All good things I hope.” Kiyoko fervently nods as if to relieve you of any fear, saying, “Aran always speaks highly of his friends back home.”

Oh yeah, friend. It’s not like every time he’s come to your aid, every time he’s offered words of praise or encouragement, every time he’s held you close to his chest with your heart beats seemingly syncing together ever meant anything more to him - you’re just his friend, just like the many other friends he apparently talks so highly of. You’ve known this for years so why does it hurt so much?

Just as you’re about to respond, someone comes bounding up to the three of you. “They’re doing jaegerbombs over at the bar, you girls coming?” Speak of the devil… “C’mon, y/n, i know you can down those like a champ,” Aran pushes, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and pulling you to his side.

Maybe it’s the atmosphere of the cramped party filled to the brim with sweaty bodies bouncing and yelling, maybe it's the alcohol beginning to get to your head, or maybe it’s both and then some, but Aran’s presence is overwhelming and not in the good way. Where you’d usually feel over the moon to be near him you now find yourself feeling… annoyed? Upset? Absolutely devastated? In reality, though, you brought this on yourself because who could ever like you, the fat friend? Definitely not someone like Aran.

“Yup, that’s right, friend,” you say, mustering as convincing a laugh as you can. Not convincing enough because Aran cautiously chuckles all while squinting questioningly at you. “Yeah… friend.”

An awkward beat passes amongst the four of you but Kiyoko is quick to act, grasping your hand in one of hers and grabbing Yachi with the other. “Let’s get this party rolling, shall we?” she exclaims as she pulls you both to the make-shift bar the frat boys put together. As soon as she’s pulled you out of hearing range, Kiyoko leans closer to ask, “You good?” Her eyes convey just how much she’s gathered - you’re hurting.

What a horrible situation to be in - finding out your long-term crush only thinks of you as a friend in the midst of a night out. How will you get over this hurt, this heartbreak? Probably never. There is no cure for a broken heart.

But wait. There is. And you’re walking towards it right now.

“I will be,” you conclude.

In no time you’re standing in between Kiyoko and Yachi at the bar and what happens after is too much of a blur to make out. The first shot the three of you take together, the mixture of liquor and redbull hitting you in an instant. Your mind is running a mile a minute but it seems to be working - you’re numb. And so you have another, whatever it takes to forget why you were so upset a few moments ago. Two quickly becomes three, the same way three eventually becomes four then five then six.

In the haze that comes with being drunk you live the next moments oblivious to your surroundings. You miss when the twins and Suna join you guys right after Aran, you miss when Aran’s frat brother Sugawara appears and takes a shot with all of you, you miss - or perhaps ignore - when Osamu tells you to chill on the drinking. “You trying to die or something?” is what he says verbatim but his words don’t register in your imbibed brain.

What you don’t miss is Aran talking to a girl at the end of the bar and suddenly everything hits you tenfold - the hurt, the ache, the alcohol. Maybe if you weren’t so inebriated you would have noticed that he was only trying to help her out - apparently you aren’t the only person drunk off their ass at this party, who would have thought? All your mind can comprehend is that Aran is talking to someone other than you, a harsh reminder that you are - and probably always will be - the ‘friend.’

He comes to you then, speaking words you understand yet cannot comprehend, head spinning and vision blurring - maybe you should have listened to Osamu. He leaves you there at the bar and it crushes your heart all over again - didn’t he promise to be there for you? The alcohol has complete control of your body as you take a step in his direction but it’s as if the ground has moved out from underneath you. Two people are quick to your sides though and manage to keep you from hitting the ground. Who is that?

“Samu? Suna?” you manage to gurgle out, tongue feeling heavy and lips completely senseless. “No, honey, it’s Kiyoko and Suga. I think you’ve had enough for tonight, think it’s time to head home. Can you tell me where your dorm is?”

You know what she’s saying but your thoughts are jumbled, your dorm be damned. Where’s Aran? “I-I need to go- go see him,” you blurt out as you attempt to get out of their hold. You lose your balance as you take a step forward but they’re there to keep you from collapsing. They begin to drag you along to who-knows-where and you have no choice but to let yourself be carried, mumbling about how you need to see him and it hurts. It has to be the alcohol that’s making you spew nonsense, more so when you start crying because how could he only think of you as a friend, just a friend? Had it all meant nothing to him? Maybe you just misread everything, but you had been sure there was something there.

Or you’re the one in the wrong this time around, obviously, to even begin thinking Aran would be different. Every person you meet is unable to get past what’s on the exterior so why would this be any different? The idea of Aran reciprocating such feelings is an act of projection, simply put.

Your mind is a dark and negative spiral of harmful thoughts, reminding you of all that you’re not and why that is just not enough for Aran - for anyone, even. Yachi attempts to console you as Kiyoko and Suga place you on your bed? No, definitely not your bed. You may be wasted out of your mind but you’re cognizant to your surroundings that are in no way familiar at the moment. The three of them are able to reduce you from loud cries to soft whimpers in some time and eventually you’re all off to bed but you know deep inside of you everything will be different come tomorrow. How long would you continue being alright with being just a friend?

Credits:

raise your hand if you, too, have drunk your feelings and ended up crying

you've always held on to the hope that aran liked you too

he had always treated you differently than other guys

kiyoko, suga, and yachi>>>

taglist: OPEN! send an ask to be added :) AGE IN BIO PLZ

@szeonn @thatnikkixx @slutkags @roselleviennesstuff @bookiedoll @kris-1 @lucacangettathisass @serostapesweat @kiyokoism @ctrlaprilx @fantasycantasy

a/n: LONG overdue but here it is! i'm finally all moved in and got my wifi setup so ta-da :) i should go back to updating daily like i had been. i'm excited, it's about to get good >:) let me know your thoughts so far!!

[yifan]

This is the year of the rooster 🐓

[dessarious]

Misconceptions, Miscommunication, and Misinformation Pt43

Inspired by @ozmav Maribat AU

AO3   Beginning   Previous   Next

The next week was highly amusing for Damian. He’d warned Ladybug that the League wouldn’t like her ultimatum and after seeing their reactions she agreed that they would need to take steps. As soon as they got back she disappeared for three hours before coming back with the Horse Miraculous. Since he knew all the heroes, including civilian identities, she was trusting him to find and get rid of anyone who decided they didn’t need to listen to her. The feeling he had was like what most people feel on Christmas morning, at least from his understanding.

None of his family tried to enter Paris since they’d been given a task but he kind of wished Todd would have decided to try. As it was he spent his time finding heroes and transporting them to remote locations. He got to leave Superman in the Amazon, twice. The second time he took his luggage to an undisclosed location which wouldn’t have been a big deal except for the fact that his wedding ring was in there. If he went home without it his wife would find a way to kill him. Damian promised to tell him where he left it only if he agreed to stay away from Paris. He was almost sorry when they all gave up, this was the most fun he’d had in years.

After that the Justice League got his father to agree to conference calls three times a week. The only good that came out of that was that Damian finally had a perfectly good reason to get an apartment and it was his father’s fault. The privacy was necessary and he and Marinette turned it into a bunker of sorts. It had food for every Kwami, just in case, was patched into the Batcave to monitor cameras around Paris, and had a supply of weapons Damian insisted were necessary even if he wasn’t allowed to fight Akumas.

She had a new cat that went by Discorde. It had to be Chloe, there was absolutely no one else Marinette trusted, but he was constantly second guessing that assumption because they didn’t act at all the same around each other when they were transformed. If it was Chloe she made sure to hide her identity with her transformation as well. Her eyes and hair were both a light shade of brown and the outfit wasn’t nearly as form fitting as the previous wielder. Add to that the combat boots and it didn’t sound like Chloe at all but he still couldn’t come up with any other possibilities. He’d interacted with her a few times as Robin and still couldn’t pin it down for certain one way or the other. He told himself it was the Miraculous magic, but wasn’t entirely certain that was true either.

Discorde didn’t know about the apartment though and when Damian asked Marinette about it she just said it wasn’t necessary for now. The less any one person knew the better so that Hawkmoth wouldn’t have multiple sources of information. He could tell she wasn’t happy about it though. Marinette was a terrible liar and he could say with certainty that Miraculous magic was definitely what had kept her identity a secret for so long. The halfhearted nonsense that spewed out of her mouth wouldn’t fool anyone, except maybe her ex classmates.

Marinette and Chloe had started at a new lycee and seemed to be enjoying each other’s company rather than branching out and making new friends. He thought it was a wise decision though he had a feeling Marinette’s reasons were different from his.

It was about two weeks after the meeting in the Watchtower that the Justice League got a taste of what was really going on in Paris. Damian was on a call with them when an Akuma struck. He didn’t expect it to be much of a problem, he’d yet to see one that was even worthy of being called a villain, but he was quickly proved wrong.

He’d taken his tablet to a roof close enough to let them see the fight but far enough away, he thought, to not be in the line of fire. This Akuma looked just as ridiculous as the other’s he’d seen and seemed to spout the same drivel. Now that Ladybug had Discorde instead of Chat he figured it would take twenty minutes top.

He couldn’t hear what the Akuma was actually saying, it was usually fairly boring anyway. Ladybug was talking to them to distract them while Discorde snuck up behind. It would be good for the Justice League to see how efficient they could be. Suddenly the Akuma flung their hand towards Ladybug who managed to leap out of the line of fire. Where she had stood was a ten foot long crater. He heard a surprised inhale from his tablet, but ignored it as the Akuma turned for Discorde. He watched in horror as Ladybug pushed them out of the way taking the full force of the hit. She was thrown into the air, straight at him but he couldn’t react fast enough.

He turned just as she slammed into the chimney behind him with a sickening crack and fell to the roof. He was too shocked to even move as she groaned and moved to get back up. She had a gash on her forehead that was dripping blood in her eye and she tried to reach up to wipe it away but her arm wasn’t moving right. She frowned at it for a moment before looking up at him.

“Robin could you help me pop my shoulder back into place?” Her tone was so matter of fact that he was moving instantly to do as she asked. When he pulled her arm to help resocket the join she winced but otherwise didn’t show any reaction. “Thanks, you might want to back off a bit. This Akuma was born of rage and they are likely to target anything that moves.” And then she was off, back towards danger.

He ended up going back to the apartment while Batman patched into the security cameras around Paris so they could watch the fight in relative safety. It took almost four hours and by the end of it Ladybug and Discorde were both covered in cuts and bruises. He wasn’t even sure how they were still standing at this point, magic suits or not. When they finally managed to break the Akumatized object, a note of some kind, he watched Ladybug and Discorde lean heavily on each other but only for a moment. It happened so fast he might have imagined it. Then Ladybug purified the Akuma and cast her cure healing everything including their injuries.

He and the League members watched as Ladybug comforted a girl, no more than ten. He’d told them that Hawkmoth had a tendency to use children but watching this, seeing a teenager fight the way Ladybug had then turn around and comfort a sobbing girl who’d almost killed her was different. It finally seemed to sink in for some of them what was really going on and why it would be such a disaster for them to be in Paris. For his part Damian couldn’t get the sight of her broken and bleeding on that rooftop out of his head. He’d seen her take hits before, but there was never any sign of it. He’d assumed her suit kept her from being injured. He thought about the calm if slightly annoyed tone she used when she asked him to help her with her shoulder. How often did something like that happen?

AO3   Beginning   Previous    Next

Kofi

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[90363462]

Kim Kardashian Deals With Kanye Nonsense By Visiting Spiritual Healer & Hanging With His Bullying Victim Hailey Bieber!

Kim Kardashian is NOT claiming Kanye West’s negative energy!

The rapper has put the world through weeks of relentless ramblings against the Jewish community, promising to go “death con 3” and pushing white supremacist narratives. He’s been dropped by his attorney, MRC, Balenciaga, Gap, and even Adidas — a move that plummeted his former billionaire statusdown to the $400 million range.

Unsurprisingly his ex-wife doesn’t want any part of his downfall. She’s trying to find some semblance of peace — including with his enemies.

Related: Kim Shares EPIC Halloween Decorations!

The SKIMS founder took to Twitter Monday to speak out against the antisemitism Ye has been spewing (even if she didn’t mention his name), writing:

“Hate speech is never OK or excusable. I stand together with the Jewish community and call on the terrible violence and hateful rhetoric towards them to come to an immediate end.”

Now, it appears she’s attempting to heal her soul. The Keeping Up with the Kardashians alum was spotted in Beverly Hills Tuesday visiting a spiritual healer. This clearly wasn’t for show — she seemingly wasn’t too keen on cameras being present. In photos, you can see the 42-year-old sporting an oversized jacket, black leggings, vans, and some Balenciaga sunglasses (ha!) to top it off, all while attempting to shield her face behind a black backpack. However, those platinum flowing locks weren’t fooling anybody! 

We’re not too surprised the mom of four is looking for some spiritual guidance after her baby daddy’s very public meltdown has been playing out for weeks upon weeks… We are a little surprised she was hiding. Hmm.

Related: Kris Jenner Jokes Kim & Kylie Jenner Are No Longer Her Faves!

Some healing she did very publicly was with Hailey Bieber.

Kanye infamously took aim at the model earlier this month. All she did was send some supportive words to Vogue editor Gabriella Karefa-Johnson after Ye bullied her for deigning to criticize his controversial “white lives matter” show at Paris Fashion Week. As we’ve previously reported, the rapper wasn’t too keen on being criticized, so instead of taking it constructively, he decided to publicly mock the editor, which prompted Hailey, Gigi Hadid, and others to come to her defense. So naturally Ye went after them. In a since-deleted Instagram post, he attacked the two, writing 

“THEEYY don’t want undeniable beautiful Black women to be put on their rightful throne. They want corny ass Gigi Hadid and nose job Hailey Baldloose to rally behind.”

However, Kim is distancing herself more and more from her ex by getting closer to those he’s been attacking. She posed for a pic with Hailey Wednesday night during an event for Tiffany & Co., in honor of the new Tiffany Lockcollection. In the photo, you can see Kim sporting a sleek ponytail, floor-length leather jacket, and some dazzling jewels, while Hailey wore a sheer, body hugging dress. See (below):

Beauties! And standing together. What are your thoughts on Kim’s latest moves amid Kanye’s meltdown? Let us know in the comments down below!

[Images via MEGA/WENN]

Kim Kardashian knows this would get her attention! So… https://perezhilton.com/kim-kardashian-spiritual-healer-kanye-west-bullying-hailey-bieber-pic/

[bornsexyesterday]

Currently drinking juice with Pitaya 100% real not click bait

[bornsexyesterday]

Hi gm

[bornsexyesterday]

waitwait I came up with a funny thing quick question can the term "babygirl" be gender neutral

[bornsexyesterday]

Fucking around with that one who's more likely website @ 1am

Okay im actually going to sleep now gn

[bornsexyesterday]

dawn fm is a good album anyway

[bornsexyesterday]

Gfhfnfhfh not my head coming up with stupid darkwolf aus and not letting me fucking remember the thought I had

[bornsexyesterday]

Love how crob gives me the legendary fit for a character in don't have/don't have an attachment to and not Matcha or Dark Choco's young prince costume

[bornsexyesterday]

WHAJT

[bornsexyesterday]

Rips a pillow

[bornsexyesterday]

Thinking thinking thinking

I think alot but im still very dumb how does that happen