#kris returns that sentiment btw but theyre both smart enough to know that a romantic relationship between them is not a good idea

[fruitybashir]

(if you are still doing these) 99

oh hey another sorta sad one lmao tumblr user sparkles-oflight will be delighted

this is also from my holidate playlist, both for bokris and for the jankris bit that i never posted and this is what i associate the song with now so ill just explain that here bc i cant make up a different story at this point

so for the bokris aspect, this is very much giving pining for the other but obv still thinking its just one sided. holidate was 90% just from kris' perspective but ive mentioned before that bojan also fell for kris relatively early so by the time they were regularly having sex, they were both being stupid about the whole "im so in love with him but theres no way he will ever feel the same oh woe is me 💔"

and the song is like. i associate it especially with the moments they had before they went to sleep together. lying in bed together, its dark, warm under the covers and cozy in the others arms so they get a little vulnerable and soft and say things they definitely wouldnt say in the light because they would sound too serious then. in the morning they dont talk about it, pretend it wasnt that serious etc etc

especially in chapter uhhh what was it ill have to fact check myself but 14? when bojan falls asleep first and kris lies awake, whispering his first "i love you" into bojans hair. he wouldnt have done that in daylight, no matter how asleep bojan wouldve been, but at night it slipped out a little easier (and then after it was out of his mouth he felt more confident in maybe confessing for real) but yeah you get the general vibe?

for jankris the song was more platonic to me for sure. despite the lyrics, the song does have a very comforting feel to me idk. so for them i always associated it with the times they seeked comfort in the other bc they were struggling with something so they slept over, falling asleep in one bed etc

there also wouldve been said things in the dark they dont usually say, confessing thoughts theyve had about others or about themselves that feel very heavy, but when they hold each other like this it feels easier to talk about those things.

with holidate jan being on the aromantic spectrum and struggling to develop romantic feelings for his partners even when he wanted exactly that sort of connection to someone, in the chapter there also was jan saying he wished he could fall in love with kris, he wished they couldve worked out (since they were dating as teens) because he does have a lot of love for kris and feels so safe around him, it wouldve been so easy to build a relationship on that. and thats also a late night thought that feels easier to say in the dark and then dismiss in the morning because its not. idk. not an actual wish he has, its just a fleeting thought that pops up sometimes when they lie together like this.