#kpop hanahaki disease

[midmourn]

play the part

PAIRING Lee Donghyuck/Haechan/GN!Reader/Na Jaemin

SUMMARY Haechan’s your boyfriend, but Jaemin’s your best friend. How could he ever compete?

GENRE Angst

CONTENTS Brief mentions of (almost) vomiting, I think the phrase is called emotional cheating, alcohol use, surprise sad ending

WORDS 1,428

LISTENING TO that way by tate mcrae, traitor by olivia rodrigo, high infidelity by taylor swift

NOTE im not writing a part two so please don’t ask, thank you <3 i found this in my google docs so i tweaked it just a tiny bit and i couldn’t find it on my old blog so idk if i ever posted it or not

When Mark finds Haechan, the younger boy is still nursing the drink that he had received from Jaehyun when they first stepped inside the party. “Woah,” he tries to joke, already knowing how his best friend was feeling, “Still drinking that drink? You’d usually be in your fifth one by now. Finally decided to take AA seriously?”

Haechan doesn’t laugh, and Mark’s smile fades, sighing as his shoulders slump. Mark downs the rest of his own drink before setting it aside, not wanting it anymore. Haechan doesn’t look up when Mark sits beside him on the railing of the balcony, “You know, it’s probably not safe for us to be this close to the edge while drinking,” Mark gestures to the ground beneath them.

“I feel like death would be better than life right now,” Haechan murmurs, and even those the words could be taken as a joke, both of them know it’s not. And Mark has a pretty good idea on why that is. Mark follows to where Haechan’s gaze is, finding a group of people sitting around the pool in Jaehyun’s backyard, but Haechan’s eyes were only on two people— a familiar head full of of black and a familiar face.

Jaemin’s arm was thrown around your shoulders, the back of his head facing Mark and Haechan but your face was clear for Haechan to see. The grin on your face was so bright that even Mark’s eyes hurt. He wasn’t close enough to be able to see, but if he was, he was sure that he would’ve been able to see the stars decorating your eyes. Mark remembers when you and Haechan first met, the younger would not shut up about you. Mark knows things about you that he shouldn’t, and that’s because of him.

“They’re just friends,” Mark says, swallowing the lump in his throat for he can’t swallow the empathy swelling up inside of him— knowing exactly how his best friend feels. “You’re their boyfriend.”

“I have the title,” Haechan sighs, tilting his head up to drag his eyes away from the two of you. His glistening eyes stare up at the dark sky, clouds decorating the sky and moving to cover the moon. “But he has their heart.”

“If they had feelings for him, they would break up with you, Hyuck,” Mark tries to reassure him, but even Mark doesn’t believe his own words. He wishes he could help more.

“Not if they knew I’d be heartbroken by it,” Haechan swallows the rest of his drink down, welcoming the burning taste. It couldn’t beat the burning in his heart, though.

“Either way, you’re heartbroken,” Mark argues, shaking his head as he turns to face Haechan. “But if you were over, at least you’d be free to move on.”

Haechan doesn’t respond for a moment, only rolling his shoulders as he looks back down at the group of people again. He licks his lips before saying, “I have the title. That’s enough, right?” When Mark doesn’t respond, he exhales through his nose sharply, “I’m their boyfriend. I love them. That should be enough.”

There’s a painful silence before Mark speaks with an underlying tone of hurt, “Sometimes, it isn’t enough.” He’s starting to wish he had another drink. “Hyuck, you’re going to have to do it if they won’t.”

“Guess I’ll just have to play the part, then,” Haechan says suddenly, pushing himself off the railing and onto the balcony floor.

“What part?” Mark asks, eyebrows furrowing as he turns to him.

“Acting like I’m really stupid,” Haechan smiles, but it’s an empty smile. Mark’s not familiar with it— and he hates it. “And that I have no idea that they’re falling in love with their best friend.”

“How was your day?” Haechan asks, his phone laying on his bed with the speaker on. He’s drying his hair with the t-shirt he had on before he took a shower, staring into his mirror in front of his bed. “Have fun?”

“All I did was sleep and play Among Us with Jisung so,” you giggle and his heart swells at the sound, a smile forming on his lips. “Yeah, I did have fun.”

“So you’ll play Among Us with Jisung but not me?” He snarks, throwing his shirt into his dirty clothes hamper but you know he’s joking— he’s always joking like that. “Maybe you should date him instead.”

You giggle again, “Jisung is too young—”

“It’s barely two years,” he sits down on his bed, grabbing his phone to go through his photo gallery, almost every single one being of you. “I’ll even tell him for you, that way if you get rejected—” A small smile is on his lips as he stares down at a picture of you and him, visiting your shared lock at the Love Lock of Namsan Tower.

“Hey!”

“— You don’t have to witness it and ugly cry.”

“In this hypothetical situation, even if he said he liked me back, you’d still tell me he rejected me, wouldn’t you?”

Haechan laughs from surprise, sometimes forgetting just how much you know him, “And you’re right, for once. I’d then tell him the text was for someone else to humble him.”

Your laughter is loud and unapologetic, just how he likes it. “Oh, you are so—” You cut yourself off and it’s silent from your side before you start giggling, “Stop it.” His eyebrows furrow, head tilting as he pauses in his scrolling. What had he done? “No! Don’t be like that and don’t you dare—” You start giggling loudly again, shrieking for whoever to stop what they were doing. If you weren’t laughing, he’d have been concerned.

Haechan says your name once but when it’s not heard over your laughter, he frowns and goes back to the call, seeing that he’s not on mute. He says your name again and when no reply, he goes to say your name once more but a familiar voice stops him. His body freezes as his blood goes cold, staring down at his floor when he recognizes the voice.

No one has a voice like Na Jaemin does. And even if there was, he’d recognize that voice anywhere.

It’s when even after you stop laughing, and you talk to Jaemin like Haechan still isn’t on the phone with you, is when his heart finally drops like an anchor to the bottom of his stomach. You forgot.

They forgot, they forgot, they forgot, his mind chants back at him.

Haechan doesn’t register when your voice first cuts off, only looking down when he realizes and seeing that the call ended. He doesn’t remember if he ended it or if you remembered and did it yourself. Either way, his heart still hurts. Tears stream down his face as sobs rip out of his chest, with loud, violent sounds. His chest hurts, too. His chest is tightening, and coughs start to cough, each cough getting more violent than the next. He doesn’t know if it’s because of the harsh crying or—

He turns to find a water bottle for him to drink but his vision is blurry from crying and the coughing won’t stop, no matter how much he tries to breathe and calm himself down. The crying doesn’t stop, either. He has a feeling he’s about to throw up and pushes himself off his bed, stumbling to his bathroom with his hands on the walls and door frame so he won’t fall.

It doesn’t work, and he falls on his knees anyway. In only a matter of a few minutes, he’s soaked to the bone and his shirt is wet— his previously dry hair is clinging to his forehead and neck. Bile— he thinks— crawls up his throat and he throws himself to where he knows the toilet is, clinging onto the bathroom sink as it comes up and into the toilet.

He doesn’t know how long it’s been when he finally comes around, dried tear streaks on his cheeks and his vision is no longer blurry. His breathing is still heavy, but it’s slow and ragged. He’s not coughing or crying anymore. He can’t help but look in the toilet, not even knowing if he really threw up or if it was just his imagination. His breath catches in his throat, the sight of a familiar singular flower floating in the otherwise empty toilet. A light pink Orchid, your favorite flowers. He knows because he gave them to you on your first date.

Haechan isn’t stupid— and the flower only confirms his thoughts.

[the-midnight-blooms]

sincerely, yours | jyh

pairing: husband!jeong yunho x wife!reader AU: hanahaki au word count: 2.4k ATEEZ as angst tropes series: Hongjoong | Seonghwa | Yunho | Yeosang | San | Mingi | Wooyoung | Jongho

masterlist

Trope: Unrequited Love 

Dear Yunho,

I hope this letter find you well, whether you open it now or decades later when you sit at my grave. Perhaps you’ve married again, and another child sits in your arms- I'll never truly know how much I mean to you.

Whoever had said falling in love was a blessing had clearly never fallen in love with the wrong person in their life. Such an astute claim that was. Falling in love was one the worst things that could have ever happened to me, especially since the deadly case of Hanahaki was up for grabs.

I will not sugar-coat it, I love you as dearly as if you are mine. I love you as if I can have you. I love you as if I am entitled to you. I always have, and will until I am torn apart by this wretched illness.

Perhaps she had acted too resistant in the face of love. Acting like it was a sin for women on a dark path, yet at night she dreamed that in the dead of a void her lover would crawl to her and ensnare her in his arms. Pepper her with gentle kisses and unbroken stares. Perhaps that was the reason why Yunho had first been warded away from her, taking on many lovers. Always rushing back to her to tell her how perfect each woman was, how he cherished them, fixing onto their smile, their eyes, their beauty unparalleled. There was something about them that made his heart swoon and something about her that rebuked him.

“Then who will hold you at night, when you are so lonely that you cannot even comfort yourself?” He asked her one evening, sat under a great oak tree heads on each other shoulders; the action itself burning her heart- how she wished he wanted her the same way she wanted him. You. Will you not hold me? Will you not shield from the terrors of this world that I am so frightened against?

He had come to her in the torpidity of the night, finally, heart yearning as he realised that where he should have spoken aloud his lovers name, he said hers. Where his lover should have been soaring through his dreams, carrying his child, plastering kisses all over his face, running down the sand on the crust of the roaring sea; it was her.

"Yunho? What's wrong?" With watery eyes he stared down at her, body wracking with sobs.

"It's you. You're all I have ever wanted."

Who should I blame for being so devoted to you? I can’t blame myself, I’m sorry. It hurts too much and already the bronchi of my lungs have been replaced with the sturdy branches of a willow tree. Flowers now bloom on the membrane of cells, tissues all compressed between saccharine petals. You may laugh at my poetry but you adored it once. After all, once our souls were bound in holy matrimony, did I not gift you a poem every anniversary? Did you not read those words aloud me under the cover of the night, as if it was your soul speaking to me and not I?

An ecru, vintage radio sat perched upon the wooden worktop, in an equally old kitchen on the outskirts of the country. Just two miles below, down the grassy hilltop lead to the sea-the rush of the tides blanketing the sand, drawing it towards the deep. Delicate waves enveloped each other, producing a cacophony of sounds that drowned out the hum of the radio. The humidity of the kitchen suffocated her, as the flames of the oven whispered to the baked good blemishing it with a golden-brown that would soon prompt her to pull it from the rack. Wandering to the front porch, she followed her lover's figure saunter up the hill-his pace increasing as she opened her arms out for him. Swooping her up from the ground, he spun her around in the air-his tight grip central around her waist. A shriek escaped from her lips as he did so. Gently, he put her down, the couple laughing synchronously as she dragged him into the kitchen. Flopping down onto the chair, Yunho went straight to the radio-sitting on top of the worktop, fiddling with its button an array of tunes inbounding the pale kitchen walls. Settling upon a popular Latin song, he got off the countertop- beginning to sway his hips to the music. When his movements became much more faster and fluid, she could not help but erupt in a fit of laughter. He reached out for her hands, enamouring her hands within his.

"You know I can't dance." He laughed, recalling the memory where she almost tripped on her wedding dress in front of a crowd of people gawking at them during the first dance. Turning the dial, he rested his hands on her waist gazing down at her. Resting her chin on his chest she peered up at him with her own doe eyes. Remaining in each other arms as the world swept by, wind rushing in from the window lace curtain fluttering in the breeze. A sweet smell drove out from the oven, she hastily pried herself from his embrace grabbing the tea towel.

"What have you got in the oven?" he pondered, as she went to her knees opening the oven door. A small smirk formed on her lips. He looked over her shoulder. "Buns?" Holding back giggles, she composed herself before looking up at him with a deadpan face nodding dubiously.

"Interesting choice. I thought you were baking a cake. Never mind, these are nice." He rambled as she flipped over the buns onto the wire rack, leaving them to cool. "How long were they in the oven for?" He winced slightly as he tried to reach for one, sharply retracting his hand away as the hot surface lacerated his finger.

"About four-five weeks." He gave her a confused look, as she turned around meandering to the living room. Five weeks? He looked back at the buns. He knew croissants often took three days to make, but five weeks for buns? As if a switch had flicked in his head, he stuck his head in the living room doorway.

"We have a bun in the oven?" Nodding, he swept her off the floor like a bride, spinning her around in his arms as if she weighed nothing to him. "WE HAVE A BUN IN THE OVEN!"

You may have once told me you adored me, but you no longer do now.

She recalled staring down at the loose petal of a bright pink dicentra flower in her fingers, blood splattered across the crystal white sink in her bathroom. A strangling sensation fulfilled her throat, slumping onto the lid of the toilet seat. Beads of sweat formed across her forehead, the cogs in her brain stopping for a split second as fatigue gnawed at her. The pounding on the bathroom door startled her, shoving the pink petal in her pocket- she opened the tap using her fingers to scrub away the splatter of her blood that remained on the sink. Looking down she found her niece peering up at her with her wide eyes and an innocent face, her little lips lightly gaped as she took in her auntie's dishevelled state. Lifting up her niece in her arms, she pecked her chubby cheeks a giggle eructed from her as she walked into her bedroom. Yunho sat on the edge of the bed, taking off his work tie a sheepish smile of his face. Nari's short arms held out for her uncle, in a disinterested manner Yunho took her from his wife's hold, lazily entertaining his niece.

"You could at least pretend to be happy when you play with Nari." His wife taunted, late at night in a hushed tone as her niece fell into a deep slumber.

"She's not my child, I don't see why." A loud thud echoed in the room as he dropped his phone onto the night stand.

"Yunho." she snapped, eyebrows furrowed in anger. He never was like this, something had happened after her miscarriage. Like a lever had been pulled, refiguring his kind-hearted nature into a malicious monster. It struck her heart with fear, that now that she could not give him a child-he longer wanted her. "She is still a baby, how would you like it if someone did that to your child?"

"I wouldn't know. I don't have one, do I?" As if a blow had been struck against her, she rolled her body in the opposite direction, in the bed, holding back the tears that threatened to fall. Why are you holding it against me? She wanted to say. A deep sigh escaped from his lips, he indolently patted his wife's shoulder as if it would compensate for the damage ensued by his apathy. Erupting in a harsh fit of coughs, a current of petals flew from her mouth blessing the earth beneath.

To ask me stop loving you is like asking for the earth to stop orbiting the sun. To ask me is to tell me to stop breathing. Oh my darling, my lover divine, I wish I could. No matter what I do, you won’t love me back. So I plead of you to acknowledge my suffering. To know that others may blame you for the way you taunted me. Because I never meant anything more to you than someone to fill your lonely nights when nobody else wanted you.

Over the subsequent months, her health had deteriorated significantly which had not gone unnoticed by her husband. Her eyes had sunken into its pockets, painted by dark circles highlighting the restless nights where the pain denied her sleep.

"You never told me what the doctor said." Nailing her eyes to the chopping board, the knife cut fluently down at the fruit sweeping it up in a plastic container. She hadn't told Yunho, it was Hanahaki. Neither could she forget the pitying look in the doctor's eyes when she revealed it to her. A married woman suffering from Hanahaki? Just how cruel could the world get?

"They're just running some blood tests. They haven't got back to me on the results, it's probably nothing. If it was important they would have called me." Yunho frowned, as he put his lunchbox in his bag. Walking with him to the foyer, he kissed her forehead before leaving to walk to his car parked on the drive way. The pain in her chest alleviated but not so much that she did not sink to knees when the car pulled out from the driveway heaving for air as she felt her lungs being pierced by the abrasive bark of a tree.

Where petals had drifted out of her mouth, flowers now bloomed. For one evening, Yunho came back home from work finding his wife draped over their shared bed- lips shrouded with petals. flowers at her neck. Concerned he shook her awake, with bleary eyes she sat up fingers pressing into her temples. Lifting up the petals with his slender fingers, he stared at her with a questioning look he only hoped she'd catch. Though no words had left her, she did not know what to say. He was not supposed to find out like this.

"I have Hanahaki disease, Yunho." she breathed out, her coarse voice prescient. An spectral silence befell amongst the couple, what else was there to say? The situation spoke for itself. "I just want to know, at what point in our lives did you stop loving me?"

“I didn’t know that I had fallen out of in love with you, because I still feel comfort when you’re there." He spoke slowly, a desperate attempt at piecing together the right words as he tried to come to terms with the fact he was the one who had caused her poor condition. "Sometimes I only feel myself entitled to breath when I look at you.” As if that was the cure, a declaration of love-those menial words that had put her in this position in the first place.

“Then why am I dying? Why is this disease tearing me apart? You’re killing me, Yunho.”

“Don’t say that.” He shook his head profusely, tears brimming at the front of his perfect eyes. "Don't say that, please." Her husband begged, pressing his palm to his lips to prevent the grievous dissonance of his sobbing.

“What else would you like me to say? That I am the disloyal one? And I am in love with another who cannot love me back? Be fucking realistic, I have been in love with you a lot longer than you have been in love with me.” Her body trembled with the cold, her own tears streaming down her cheeks. She didn't try to hold back the distressing sound as he had. Leaning her head back on the headboard. "What about me disgusted you? What about me made me so unworthy of your love?"

"I wanted a child." Grabbing the pillow, she plundered it against his head as hard as she could. Lunging at him, the collar of his shirt balled up into fists, his slender body oscillating back and forth as she screamed out her soul.

"It's not my fault I cannot conceive! If you had known that before marriage would you have never married me? Would you have never loved me? Is that all a woman means to you? A machine to give birth, or an object to satisfy your desires?" Letting go off his shirt, she subsided into the silk pillows bawling to her heart's content. "Leave Yunho." His breath hitched in his throat. Soundlessly, he got up from the bed trudging towards the doorway, glistening pearls dropping from his porcelain face. He stopped, turning around with a pleading look.

"Leave and if you come back to me- tell me it is because you love me. So much so that it is the ailment to this disease.”

When you did not come back to tell me you loved me, it almost certified the fact that you really had fallen out of in love with me. Perhaps it is better to die than to live a life of solitude, for every day I live I can feel my heart rupturing at the mere sight of you. I wish you find someone to love as much as I love you.

So, one last time before the Angel of Death takes my breath away and draws my soul out of my body: I love you, Jeong Yunho. I love you so much that I have died in your name. I love you so much that if I was given a choice to relive this life again, I would. No matter the pain, no matter the heartache, I would live this life again. All for you.

Sincerely, Yours.

All Right Reserved © the-midnight-blooms

DO NOT REPOST, TRANSLATE, REPURPOSE, OR PLAGISRISE ANY OF THE WORK HERE

A/N: i feel like yunho + unrequited love is such a fitting trope for him? Yunho doing the salsa literally came from me and @n0v4t33z talking about how his hips don't lie. ALSO AS A BRIT BUNS ARE CUPCAKES!! when i first heard about 'bun in the oven' i didn't know it was a teacake (burger bun), but i made it one for this fic.

let me know if you’d like to be added to the tag list for any future fics I post!

[kitsuneregin]

It hurts so much to love you (Yandere!Hanahaki Disease! Yeonjun x Reader)

It hurts...it really hurts...it feels like his lungs are on fire, he can barely breathe, every other breathe he takes he coughs up bloody white rose petals, your favorite flower. Yeonjun hunches over the sink as he hacks up more bloody petals, how long has it been a week or two, usually the symptoms come in slower but in Yeonjun’s case, they’re coming faster and faster. 

How did this all start how could he be so careless to not notice this disease much earlier...You, this all started with you. Your pretty smile and eyes, the way you giggle and laugh, your smooth smooth skin, your amazing personality. You were a trainee at HYBE getting ready to debut in a new girl group, Yeonjun had known of your existence for some time but meeting you...oh meeting you was a whole new experience, then it started.

It was the fever first, Yeonjun thought it was from overworking himself and his body telling him to stop for a moment, the next day he felt fine. Then the loss of appetite, he was always one to make sure people ate so it was ironic that he suddenly wasn’t eating so much, you had even taken notice at his weight loss. You would sneak snacks to him in passing, you were so kind and generous. Next came the shaking, this really was where he noticed something was wrong, Yeonjun was put to bed rest for the time being, however the disease grew worse. His body temp was dropping to an alarming rate, the staff had to take him to the hospital where they x-ray him. That’s where he saw it, it was small but noticeable, a flower in his lungs...but how? 

The doctor would inform Yeonjun that he had Hanahaki disease, Yeonjun was confused to be fair, this wasn’t a disease he’s ever heard of, then once it was explained to him it slowly made sense. Now here we are in Txt’s dorm where Yeonjun is stuck vomiting flower petals, it hurts so much...it’s getting worse day by day. 

Yeonjun was given the option to have the flower surgically removed, but that meant he could no longer love romantically. The only other option was for you to love him back. Yeonjun looked at himself in the mirror his mouth covered in his own blood a petal stuck to his cheek, his eyes watery and red, his nose red, he looked horrible. Yet there you stood just behind him as beautiful as ever, your small hand feeling and rubbing on his back as you soothe him, it was comforting, it was soothing, it was burning, it was starting to hurt, it’s becoming more and more painful, it’s agony. Yeonjun hunched over the toilet to vomit more bloody petals. Hallucinations were another symptom, Yeonjun wiped his mouth and stood up. 

He doesn’t want the surgery...so the only other option is for you to love him. Yeonjun cleaned himself up, he made his way to the company and looked for you, of course you were in the dance studio. Yeonjun smiled as he watched you dance to the music, the way you follow the music with your body, the smile on your face. Yeonjun was about to enter when another male trainee came into view, he walked up to you smiling as he placed his hands on your waist. The trainee pulled you in close as he kissed you on the lips. 

Time slowed down for Yeonjun as he watched with a broken heart at the display. The idol suddenly hacked up more petals, his lungs begging for air, Yeonjun was running out of time, he was going to die if he didn’t cure this stupid disease. Yeonjun felt tears prick his eyes as he fled from the scene and into a quiet area where he quietly sobbed. How could you do this to him, how could you betray him, he was in love with you. Do you not love him back? No...you have to love him back, you were so nice to him, you showed to care for him, is that not love? Yeonjun sniffled as he let his emotions set, if you don’t love him...he’ll make you love him. 

It would take longer than Yeonjun would have liked but he set his plan into motion. It was easy to lure that douche trainee to the top floor and a little shove was all it took to send him to his early grave. It would be plastered all over the news of a trainee’s suicide, with all the bad press Hybe decided to hold your debut till everything was cleared up...who knew how long that would take. Yeonjun would become your night in shining armor as you mourned you lover’s death. He was there for you from morning to night, he really was a great friend. You would join Yeonjun for a night walk at the park, it was empty at this time of hour but the stars were beautiful. Yeonjun would be coughing constantly which worried you, you’d ask if he was ok and then you’d see it, a bloody white petal in his hand, blood dripping from his mouth, his ragged breathing. 

Yeonjun turned to you his body towering over you as he smiled the blood noticeable on his teeth, he’d begin to rant about how he’s sick with this hanahaki disease and you were the reason for it, he’d ramble about how much pain he was in, each passing day becoming harder and harder to bear. “I could get surgery, but I wouldn’t be able to love romantically ever again...I don’t want that, so instead you’re gonna love me...just how I love you, you made me sick....so you’ll make me better” 

[kpopimagi]

A Flower Under The Rain [Part 9]

Characters: Baekhyun, Kyungsoo and Kang Gyuri (OC) Genre: Angst, Romance Au: Hanahaki!Au  Type: Series  Word count: 7,243

It all began with a cough and then, a subtle sting in her chest. Kang Gyuri cried, knowing that in a matter of months, she would be another figure in the death toll of the most dangerous and cruelest outbreak in human history.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8-1 | Part 8-2

Her phone kept buzzing, and at any other moment of her life, she would have been annoyed out of her mind but everything was different. Her phone and her heart felt so alive. Gyuri smiled at the animated emojis on her screen and wondered if Kyungsoo was smiling as well. It had been a week since the trip with him and his friends, who were her friends now. The idea alone was a completely new concept to her. Anna embraced her as an equal, and even if Gyuri wasn't sure if Minseok thought the same, they welcomed her in their group chat which was basically only the two of them mothering Kyungsoo and bickering about the smallest things. She didn't mind. It was amusing to witness and wait for the writer's dull text asking them to shut up for once.

They were planning on spending the weekend somewhere else when the screen went all black, and his name popped up, blinking in an incoming call. For a moment, Gyuri couldn't remember the sound of his voice or what it made her feel, and instantly regretting the excitement, with a hand on her chest, Gyuri answered the call.

"Hello…" Baekhyun said.

Gyuri said the same with the tiniest voice and feared the worst when she heard him sigh on the other side of the line. Although she was happy to hear his voice again, she also noticed the hesitation.

"Yah, Kang Gyuri," he finally snapped, and she almost smiled because she missed that about him, "I didn't want to call because I'm still angry at you, but it's almost my birthday."

All the giddiness and happiness Gyuri felt evaporated into thin air, and her stomach dropped to the floor. Letting out a silent curse, she jumped off the couch where she was watching a drama with her mother, and her entire body moved on its own accord in a burst of dread.

"You forgot!" He gasped over the phone.

"I did not." She lied, running to her room.

"Liar," Baekhyun said as a matter of fact, "You're still in your pajamas."

"How do you know?" She mumbled, in shock, and regretted it instantly.

The frustrating noises he made had her rolling her eyes. She smiled at his whining, looking around her desk for the monthly calendar. She searched every drawer and through every bookcase, but the floral calendar was nowhere to be found.

"You told me," He said after a while and with renewed interest, "No, you forced me to save this day for you."

"I know," Gyuri replied, giving up and collapsing on her bed.

"You said you would take me somewhere." He added, and she nodded even if he couldn't see her, "But you never called again to set the time or anything."

"I know, Baekhyun," Gyuri finally said when the sadness in his tone was impossible to ignore, "We have to be there at four so we can see each other there at..."

"At 1." He interrupted her, "I'll pick you up at 1, and we'll have lunch together. It's on me."

Defeated, Gyuri agreed, he ended the call, and she stayed there, frozen in disbelief that she could have forgotten about her plans. She had an excuse. On one of those bad days, she went on a cleaning rampage, removed all the floral items from her room, and threw away every calendar and journal she owned. Gyuri meant to have everything in the garbage but her mother, just as silent and stoic as she could be, picked everything up and religiously put them away into boxes.

Gyuri went downstairs and opened one of the boxes. The first thing she saw was the floral desk calendar. She flipped through the pages, and just as Baekhyun said, she had the date in a big circle and exclamation marks. He was right on the date.

"Did something happen?" Her mother asked, coming into the room. "Was it Baekhyun?"

Gyuri nodded, showing her the date on the calendar. The realization took over her expression. If her mother wanted to object to her plans, she kept it to herself.

"I completely forgot about it," Gyuri admitted. "How could I forget about something like this?"

"You've got more than enough to deal with lately." Her mother said, "Don't beat yourself over this."

"But I had been waiting for this day for months," Gyuri whined in frustration.

"What will you do?" Her mother wanted to know.

"Should I go?" Gyuri asked instead, knowing quite well that one more wrong move could be her last.

"Only if you feel ready to do so." Her mother finally said, and Gyuri didn't have to look at her to know she was holding her tears.

"But what am I going to do?" She asked, her eyes watering, "I threw the tickets away."

"I picked them up," her mother said, in the most focused tone she had, "and put them in one of these boxes."

"Really?" Gyuri asked, and a tear finally fell down her cheek.

"Don't worry," Her mother said with a proud smile, "If you want to go, we'll find those tickets in no time."

Gyuri couldn't understand why she felt so overwhelmed but ignoring the urge to bawl her eyes out, she followed her mother's instructions. They spent the next hour looking through all the storage boxes until they managed to find the tickets. Gyuri hugged her mother and ran upstairs to get ready.

However, getting ready to hang out with Baekhyun felt like a task Gyuri was not ready to tackle. She had no idea what to wear, not that it mattered because it wasn't a date. Going out with Baekhyun had never been a date, even if she kept dreaming it was. She didn't even like how she looked anymore. She looked off, not terribly sick yet, but she felt icky and disgusting as if Baekhyun's hand would stay stuck on her skin if he ever dared to touch her. Everything about herself just felt off. She kept going in and out of the shower, not feeling entirely clean and almost finishing an entire bottle of body cream. Her mother's nagging about running through a monthly supply of cream in less than a week finally made her stop and realize there was nothing she could do about her skin anymore.

Gyuri got herself ready in her everyday clothing, nothing fancy or special, just plain Gyuri. When she was ready and came down the stairs, she found her father coming into the house with a worried expression that made her halt. Her mother must've called him at work, afraid of their daughter not coming back home alive.

"I forgot about the exhibition." He said, pretending he hadn't rushed home, "At what time are you leaving?"

"He's picking me up at one," Gyuri replied, her eyes watering again.

"Good, we have some time left then." Her father said with a relieved sigh, "Honey, can you bring us some tea?"

Gyuri noticed her mother was crying in a corner, and with a small nod, she disappeared into the kitchen.

"You fought so hard to get those tickets, might as well use them, right?" He asked as he sat on the couch and patted the space next to him.

"Right!" Gyuri said, holding back the tears but still sitting next to her father and hugging him.

"It would be a shame for them to go to a waste." He added, embracing her in a tight hold that made everything inside Gyuri finally feel alright.

Her mother was back with three cups of tea, and before she could sit far from them, Gyuri reached for her hand. She sat next to her, and while holding her mother's hand and resting her head on her father's shoulder, Gyuri spent that time with her parents in silence as they waited for Baekhyun. When he arrived, Gyuri felt at peace. She had no more tears to shed, and still holding her mother's hand, she stood up.

"We'll be waiting for you here, pumpkin." Her father said before pressing a kiss on her forehead, "You know that, right?"

"I'll be back," Gyuri assured them even though she wasn't sure if she would survive to see them again.

Her mother gave her the tightest hug ever, and with a small smile, she finally let her go. Gyuri left the house, smiling at them, hoping it really wasn't the last time she would see them again. However, all that hope faded away when she turned around and saw Baekhyun coming out of his car, looking as handsome as ever, if not maybe even more than before. He was smiling as usual, and his fashion was just as simple as hers, but she had never found him any more attractive.

It was in vain to ignore the awkwardness. Baekhyun tried to hug her just like he usually did whenever it had been a long time since they saw each other, but her startled reaction made him back away, shocked. Gyuri smiled, trying to rub off the weird gesture and the mix of sudden pain and instant relief she felt all over her insides. She got into the car and took a deep breath.

There was just one other person she needed to talk to. She thought it was better to do it face to face at first, but then realized that she couldn't bear to see the pity in his eyes in her last moments. Saying goodbye through a text didn’t seem that much of a bad idea after all. She might not even make it out alive of that car for all she knew, so a text was all she had.

Kyungsoo… I’m going out with Baekhyun. And I think you might be right…

Wait

I won’t hold back.

Gyuri

No

Don't

Thank you.

Whatever the writer wanted to say was better to tell her himself because her phone started buzzing. His name appeared on the screen, and the time she hesitated to answer was enough to catch Baekhyun’s attention. He leaned closer to look at her phone as if he was just looking at a random video playing on the screen. Gyuri knew the action was more of a natural reaction, he did that a lot, but the moment he saw the name, he went rigid on the spot. Baekhyun backed away again, pretending he hadn't seen anything compromising.

Embarrassed, Gyuri ignored the call and diverted her attention from Baekhyun. However, the phone started buzzing again, and even though Gyuri would never ignore Kyungsoo, she knew it wasn’t a good idea to explain herself on the phone in her best friend’s presence. Baekhyun stayed quiet as he drove away and when he was about to say something, her phone started buzzing for the third time. Gyuri silenced the device and buried it deep into her purse.

“So this is what it feels like…” Baekhyun mumbled, or at least that was what she thought she heard.

“What you said?” Gyuri asked, still ignoring the buzzing phone.

"Will you finally tell me where we are going?" He asked instead.

Time seemed to stop when Gyuri looked at him with one hand on the steering wheel, looking as boyfriend-is as ever. She noticed that his hair was neatly done and was wearing accessories, and he only did that on special occasions. Gyuri couldn't help herself but smile when she saw the watch she gave him on his birthday many many years ago on his wrist. Suddenly, nothing else mattered when Baekhyun looked like he made a conscious effort on his looks to hang out with her. As if she wasn't at risk of getting engulfed by roots, Gyuri embraced the pleasure filling her chest. She had nothing else to lose anymore, and feeling rather playful, Gyuri refused to answer his question.

"It's a surprise." She said.

"I need to know so I can drive us there, you dummy," Baekhyun whined with a playful pout, making her heart skip a beat.

"Just don't leave the city," Gyuri said, ready to make the best out of that day.

“Alright then," He said, and after a while, he broke the heavy silence between them, "So how are you?”

Gyuri knew it wasn’t a simple pleasantry just by the tone in his voice. He wanted to know for real, and even if he was focused on the road ahead, his eyes were intense and searching for an answer. There was only one thing she could say. 

“Fine.” 

Baekhyun glanced at her, unconvinced by her reply but kept driving in silence. Gyuri realized that enjoying his company wholeheartedly wouldn't be as easy. At least not when she found herself so aware of his attention, of his eyes always looking at her so closely and him just generally gravitating towards her like there was no one else around them. At times, she had to reprimand herself for being so dumb. That had always been their dynamic. He was acting like he always did. Baekhyun had always felt comfortable around her, and he never failed to let her know that, and that was one of the many reasons she fell for him.

Gyuri had learned over the years to love whenever he observed her reaction to the food he ordered for her. She could feel her heart melting at the satisfied smile on his face when she let him know that the food was delicious. She loved that they could talk about nothing and everything and had to remind herself to look away several times. She caught herself admiring him as he attentively listened to everything she was telling him, and one time she had to stop herself from reaching out to touch his round cheeks. She couldn't really help herself but bite her lip when he just kept putting the best pieces of meat in her bowl. She loved his familiarity, the lack of judgment, and pretenses whenever he was with her. He didn't try to be anyone else but himself when they were together. 

Baekhyun was naturally caring, and now more than ever, she wished she could tell him everything. Gyuri tried, more than once, to let the words come out and let him know but failed every time. They came out of the restaurant, and as they settled in the car, Baekhyun looked at her expectantly. Her imagination went wild for a split second. Two different scenarios were playing in her mind. On one she confessed her feelings, and on the second one, which was wilder, she imagined him confessing his feelings, but of course, that wasn't it. He chuckled and prodded the answer out of her.

"Where to now?" He asked.

"Just go to Gwanghwamun." She mumbled, pushing every dumb fantasy aside.

With a smile on his face, Baekhyun started the engine and drove away. However, Gyuri looked out of the window to hide the embarrassment. She was just letting her hopes dominate her every thought when it was all further from the truth. Baekhyun didn't have those sorts of feelings for her. His familiarity wasn't anything other than a friendly inclination, and Gyuri felt stupid for thinking otherwise. She blinked the forming tears away along with all the idiotic feelings that had her reduced to such a lame wreck.

"No way…" Baekhyun mumbled.

It was halfway to their destination that it seemed to down on him. Gyuri could almost see the wheels turning in his head as he put the pieces together and smiled when he looked at her for confirmation, and with that, her sadness was forgotten.

"Are we going to the Museum of Modern Art?" He asked, holding tightly onto the steering wheel, "You're kidding me."

Too satisfied with herself, Gyuri pulled the tickets out of her purse and showed them to him. Baekhyun let out a dramatic gasp, and when they stopped at a red light, he grabbed one of the tickets and admired it with absolute fascination.

"How did you do it?" He asked, "They sold out in seconds."

"Because I'm that good," Gyuri said with a smug smile as she snatched the ticket off his hands, making Baekhyun cackle.

"Damn right you are," He said, fumbling with his phone, “and you know what? This moment deserves our fun song."

For a split second, everything was suddenly alright. Their favorite song blasted through the speakers as Baekhyun drove them through the city, singing out loud and looking at her with the brightest of smiles. Her heart swelled in delight, and it was impossible not to get back in time and remember one of their first interactions. Gyuri recalled the exchange as if it was yesterday. 

It was her first year at college, and although most of her lessons were kind of alright, she hated the shared lectures with other majors. People with different objectives and inclinations enclosed in the same space gave her a headache, and programming 101 was no exception. Her programming skills were already above the curriculum, but she had to take that lecture, and she dreaded the day the professor announced a teamwork assignment.

The entire lecture hall was filled with disgruntled noises and whines, and Gyuri would’ve joined if it wasn’t for her anxiousness. She would have to work with a stranger, and she felt her heart rate speeding. What if she had to work with a finance major student? The soon-to-be stock market programmers were obnoxious snubs, and the idea alone made her shutter.

“Kang Gyuri.” 

When the professor called her name, she flinched. Silence filled the hall, and Everyone looked at her, and she tapped her finger on the face of her watch at the rhythm of every dreadful second as she stood up from her seat. Half of the students’ names were on a bowl, written on paper, and she had to pick one. She would find the name of one annoying classmate to work with for the rest of the semester.

“Fingers crossed, and I get to be her partner.” A guy behind her said.

“She’s so stuck up, I'd hate to be her partner," someone else chuckled, "but I wouldn’t mind passing this lecture with a perfect grade.”

“You’re not that lucky, man.”

Ignoring the conversation, Gyuri walked down the stairs, still counting to mute out the whispers that raised with every step she took towards the front. However, either her muting tricks were ineffective, or people around her didn’t care if she could hear them because she could still hear them all.

“I bet she throws you under the bus if you don’t do your part…”

“Please, God, let me be her partner…”

“Poor bastard that gets partnered up with her…”

“She’s the best, man.”

“I saw the programming of her scholarship project, and it’s incredible…”

“Nah, I don’t need that kind of pressure in my life.”

Gyuri reached the desk and stared at the bowl. She reminded herself that at least she didn't have to handpick her partner, and could always blame her luck. She put her hand inside the bowl and grabbed the first piece of paper that touched her fingertips. She could hear silence taking over as everyone held their breath. Her heart skipped a beat as she unfolded the paper and read the name. She recognized it right away and never considered how awful art majors could be as assignment partners. The guy had a reputation, but all she could see him as was an annoying burden.

"Byun Baekhyun." She whispered to herself.

The collective reaction in the hall made her flinch again. Some whined while others cursed, and she even saw paper balls fly across the hall in protest. Ignoring the ruckus around him, the professor wrote down their names on a list and called the next student forward, leaving Gyuri alone to go back to her seat and deal with the disgruntled atmosphere of her classmates.

As she made her way back, she realized one thing: She was now the class's least favorite person. Girls hated her guts for pairing up with the most popular guy, and others who weren't smitten with his outgoing demeanor were miffed that they weren't paired up with the supposedly brilliant programmer. Either way, she hated her luck.

Byun Baekhyun was the type of person she avoided at all costs. People like him always forced her to talk and ended up mocking her if she didn't. Granted, she didn't even know the guy, so she would not dare to judge him. Maybe he wasn't like that at all, but it was difficult to know when she only knew him from what other people had to say about him. The guy was beyond handsome. She had heard the rumors of the first-year programmer that would give any idol a run for his money. Gyuri doubted he was as good-looking as all the female student body claimed. After all, most programmers were disheveled nerds, herself included.

"Good luck with that," a guy said with a chuckle.

It was the nagging that came after that caught Gyuri's attention. She was used to hearing those kinds of expressions, jokes, and rude remarks, but no one ever dared to stop the tirade once it started. Someone shutting someone else up was something she didn't hear that often, and Gyuri halted, looking at the source of that unusual exchange. One was obviously making fun of the other, and she froze at the contrast of their attitudes; her new teammate had an unamused expression plastered on his face. The other, who she recognized as quite a ladies' man, patted his back with a chuckle. She found the interaction strange.

They must have sensed her staring and when the guys looked back at her, she felt her blood rushing to her face. Gyuri had to give it to everyone she ever heard gossiping about Byun Baekhyun. They were right. He was indeed handsome. His face was small, his skin was pale, and his hair framed his features as if someone spent hours styling it for the cover of a fashion magazine. Then, against all expectations, Baekhyun smiled at her. It wasn't the brightest of smiles, but small and restrained like he was embarrassed about getting caught chiding his friend. Not that it mattered to her, and realizing that staring any longer would make her future interactions with him weirder, Gyuri went to her place and focused back on the class.

Once everyone was paired off, the professor went over the requirements of their final project and what they needed to accomplish. Gyuri wrote everything down, put her stuff away, and was about to bolt out of the hall at the end of the lecture when Baekhyun showed up right next to her.

“Should we have lunch together?” He asked, wriggling his hands in front of him in a nervous gesture that didn’t quite fit him. “You know, to talk about the project.”

Gyuri would’ve answered in some form, but once she noticed the attention of several classmates focused on them, she just couldn’t do it anymore. She didn’t even try. No sound would come out of her mouth even if she tried, so she nodded instead. Unable to handle the pressure of not even answering the guy apparently everyone wanted to be friends with, Gyuri left the hall as fast as she could and hid in the safety of the nearest bathroom stall until her next class.

Usually, it would only take a few minutes for her nerves to settle, but the expectation of meeting with Baekhyun had her on the edge for the rest of the day, and it got worse when she arrived on the third floor of the library. She enjoyed studying there, where the desks were among the bookcases and where people were generally required to maintain silence, Gyuri really liked that, but as soon as she stepped into her favorite section of the studying area, she halted and let out a sigh. 

Baekhyun was already there, scrolling through his phone and eating small sausages. He was sitting alone at a table, but when she looked around, she could see several girls staring at him, some others peeking from the top of their books, and some others blatantly walking by the table to have a better look at him. Gyuri found it interesting that he paid no attention to anyone. If he was aware of the subdued commotion around him, he was stellarly good at ignoring it. She wondered if by any chance, he was so used to it that he didn't care anymore and if that was the case, she instantly admired him for such composure. She could never do that, and letting out a sigh, Gyuri gathered every bit of her will and approached the table.

Without any idea of how to proceed to engage with one of the most popular people in the vicinity, Gyuri went for the safest option. She just placed her backpack on the table and sat down in complete silence, taking Baekhyun by surprise. He cursed under his breath, but as soon as he realized who startled him, his entire demeanor changed. Suddenly, he wasn’t as confident as he seemed to be.

"I've seen you usually sit here to study after lunch," he said after stumbling on his words to greet her.

Gyuri was going through her backpack when the observation made her stop. It was hard for her to wrap her head around the idea that someone like him would notice such an insignificant detail about her. She wanted to look at him and study his expression, but her anxiousness stopped her, so she just pulled her lecture notes out instead and started to work.

Baekhyun stayed quiet for the most part. He would ask something every once in a while and fidgeted in his seat, unsure if he could talk to her openly. She could see the struggle and discomfort and wished she could just tell him there was no need to be that formal with her, but she kept scribbling down what they needed to do. Suddenly, a phone buzzed on top of the table. It distracted Gyuri, and Baekhyun apologized before grabbing it. Not wanting to make their time any more uncomfortable than it was already, Gyuri brushed it off as nothing and kept working on a diagram, but a loud noise startled her.

Baekhyun gasped loudly, making Gyuri flinch, and in the rush to apologize, he choked on his own spit or maybe a piece of sausage. She couldn’t tell, but whatever it was, he started coughing. His face became increasingly crimson as he massaged his chest to open his airways. He not only interrupted her work, but disrupted the quiet atmosphere of the study hall, and drew an incredible amount of attention to himself.

“I’m sorry,” he said once Gyuri handed him a drink, and his cough finally subsided, “Why am I drooling so much?”

Gyuri couldn’t help herself. She chuckled at his helplessness as he mumbled apologies and nervously tried to put some order around him. Knowing that someone as popular as Byun Baekhyun could become flustered, as she did most of the time, gave her some measure of comfort.

“Aha!” He said, all the embarrassment was suddenly forgotten, “So you do smile.”

The roles reversed. Gyuri was the one feeling her face burning in embarrassment. Baekhyun observed her with a smile, but unlike her, he didn’t make fun of her bafflement. As if he could read her mortification, he changed the subject.

“Sorry, I just got excited,” he said, showing her his cellphone, “do you know Hideo Kojima?”

The name didn’t ring a bell, but the expectant glint in his eyes was astonishing. Whoever that man was, he was important, and her lack of response was enough for Baekhyun to know that she had no clue what he was talking about, and just as he did before, he gasped dramatically.

“You don’t know,” he whispered loudly, and Gyuri found it amusing that she couldn’t tell if he was joking or not, “oh my friend, prepare yourself to get your mind blown.”

Gyuri had forgotten about the rush of emotions she felt that day when Baekhyun sat next to her, with his laptop in hand, and spent the next couple of hours sharing with her something he was so passionate about as if they were the closest of friends because after that day, they became just that, and she didn’t even know why. For some reason, he seemed to enjoy her company so much that he was always around, and now that she thought about it, that might have been the beginning of her downfall.

She looked at him, years later, just as excited and passionate about the same subject as he was that day, but now, she was part of that small portion of his life. Baekhyun was driving with a smile as he sang mindlessly along the beat, and pride swelled in her chest. She mentally patted herself on the back because just like he said, she managed to get tickets to one of the most awaited exhibitions of the year. If she wasn’t that close to Baekhyun, she wouldn’t even know the whole thing existed.

They arrived at the entrance where people stood in long lines, and neither of them realized their tickets had some sort of VIP benefits until a staff member led them to an exclusive area built outside the museum. They got their tickets scanned and bracelets placed on their wrists before a waiter welcomed them with drinks to a waiting hall set up and decorated thematically with props from Kojima’s games. Baekhyun couldn’t stop mumbling to himself just how amazing everything was as he took a sip of his drink and urged Gyuri to take some pictures of him sitting on a European armchair, which was from his favorite horror video game. She agreed wholeheartedly and snapped as many pictures as possible, even if he wasn’t posing anymore. She did it just for the delight of getting more pictures of him, and by the time they finished their drinks, a guide introduced himself and let them know it was time to enter the museum.

Gyuri and Baekhyun joined a small group of a dozen people and followed the guide to a dark room. Someone pulled a curtain down, letting the darkness and coldness engulf them all, and just then, they could hear the creepy ambiance music. Gyuri was sure she heard Baekhyun let out the tiniest excited squeal when she just shivered in apprehension. She was starting to feel the pressure on the center of her chest when she was suddenly enveloped in a warmth and scent she was so familiar with. Baekhyun had slipped an arm over her shoulders and drew her closer with so much affection she just stayed still, not knowing what to do.

“Thank you so much,” He whispered. "Best birthday present ever.

The tour began, the guide started with his welcome speech, and with a soft squeeze of her shoulder, Baekhyun let her go to follow the group into the first hall. Gyuri was left behind, downright stunned in her place and with her heart twisted in pain and pleasure, all rushing through her body. He didn’t even register that she wasn’t moving and reminding herself that the gesture meant absolutely nothing to Baekhyun like the way it meant to her, Gyuri took a deep breath and followed the group.

The exhibition was just as amazing as she imagined it would be. Halfway through the first room, she realized that whether or not she knew who Hideo Kojima was, she would have appreciated the show. The man was a genius, just like Baekhyun told her all those years ago and it didn’t surprise Gyuri that he was practically a goner the moment they crossed the dark and creepy entrance hall. She couldn’t blame him. The place was covered not just in video game artwork and concept designs, but also contained hundreds of items from Kojima’s own collection. There was so much stuff on every wall that Gyuri struggled to know where to look at first and wondered if Baekhyun had the same issue.

Looking around the hall, searching for the man that had the entirety of her wrapped so tightly around his little finger, she found him standing in the middle of the room, frozen in amazement. Gyuri walked around to join him, and the expression on his face was something she never wanted to forget. His eyes glimmered as he admired a white space suit set up behind a glass case. Very few times she’d see him so dumb-struck that even his mouth hung open in absolute wonder. Gyuri snapped a few pictures of him from a distance before following the tour guide toward the next hall. It was only then that Baekhyun joined her, whispering nothing but compliments about certain pieces as he looked through the pictures he just took with his phone. And the tour went on like that for the next couple of hours until they reached the final section which was a curated library.

Gyuri was immersed, flipping through the pages of Kojima’s private diary. She was utterly fascinated by the way the man expressed himself that she just knew Baekhyun would love to read it. She called him, but he was already heading for the exit, leaving her behind. Taken aback and wondering if he was truly leaving without her, she called him again. He glanced at her over his shoulder quick enough for Gyuri to notice that he was talking over the phone and his eyes flaring in anger. Whatever twisted his expression made her heart sink, and she found herself instantly worried. Something must have happened. That could be the only reason he would look so agitated, and Gyuri followed him toward the exit. She kept her distance, giving him privacy, but every time she saw him rolling his eyes in annoyance, she fought the impulse to get closer and do something. She kept telling herself that all she could really do was wait and be there for him.

“Is everything alright?” She asked as soon as he hung up.

“Yeah,” He hesitated, still looking at his phone as if it could come to life at any moment, “It was Mina. She’s just being unreasonable.”

Gyuri felt like the biggest idiot in the world. The immense love she felt for the guy was too blinding at times. It was so overpowering that it tricked her mind to wander off into her fantasies in which she was the most important person in his life. She wasn’t. He had a girlfriend. Baekhyun wasn’t hers, but she couldn’t let him notice her disappointment.

“I hope everything is alright.” She said just as a mere courtesy.

“She said we shouldn’t be friends anymore.” He said, finally looking at her.

The resignation in his eyes twisted the roots in her heart, and she had no idea what prevented her from losing control of her emotions. She felt the twist. The buzzing pain grew louder and sharper, and she knew she should’ve been terrified to feel it deepen its roots through her heart, but she wasn’t even scared. She also knew that the soundness of mind taking over her wouldn’t last that long.

“I should go back home.” She said, looking down at the round tips of her shoes.

“Gyuri, wait,” he stopped her, “I told you, she’s being unreasonable.”

“I don’t want to get you in trouble with her.”

Gyuri wasn’t looking at him when she said that, but she heard him let out the longest sigh. For the first time since she got diagnosed, she did not run away from him, although she wanted to. Gyuri knew she would be safe if she left, but an unbearable longing to be next to him made her stay.

“You’re not getting me in any trouble, so stop worrying about it and let’s go, I’ll take you home,” Baekhyun said with such a softer tone that Gyuri had to look at him. “I always take you home, remember?”

Gyuri recognized the intent behind his voice. She had fallen for it long ago and craved it when she was the most scared. Baekhyun always spoke to her like that when he wanted to reassure her that everything was alright. She had learned to identify the genuine care dripping in the deepness of his voice, and she let it take her away. She could never run away from him when he showed himself so worried about her so Gyuri followed him back to his car.

Despite his efforts to calm her down, the tension between them was heavy and uneasy. It was impossible to ignore the obvious crack in the wholeness of their friendship, and Gyuri started to regret not running away like she first intended to. She wouldn't be locked in the car with him and all that made him so incredibly alluring if she weren't so blinded by this twisted love.

"So, what are you up to?" Baekhyun finally asked.

"Nothing important," Gyuri lied, looking away, "Just work and such."

"What are you talking about?" He said, and even though he kept his eyes on the road, she knew the reproach in his voice, "You quit your job a few weeks ago."

Gyuri felt the chills running all over her body, and only a tiny sound came out of her mouth. Baekhyun didn’t push her further into giving him an explanation, but she almost wished he would. His silence was worse. She looked at him, expecting to find a scowl on his face, but he seemed just as calm.

"I ran into one of your colleagues." He said, his voice turning just slightly harsher but still trying to keep it soft, "You might remember her. Her name is Suyoun."

Of course, Gyuri remembered her. The girl was her direct subordinate, and she pretty much had to handle all the workload alone after Gyuri submitted her resignation. That was why she worked hard to leave everything as organized as possible. Poor Suyeon didn't deserve to deal with her mess alone. Also, she was the only one Gyuri talked to constantly, and she might have cried a little when she bid the girl goodbye at work.

"Imagine my surprise when she asked me if you were alright," Baekhyun added, and the sarcasm in his voice wasn't just simple sarcasm, it was full of something else, "apparently, you just requested your leave of absence and submitted your resignation letter out of the blue."

“I needed a change.” Gyuri lied.

“I’m calling bullshit.” He replied, “You are the only one in our entire generation that got into your first option job, and you like it so much you even excel at it.”

“I guess people change.”

"They sure do." He conceded although he didn’t sound at all convinced. "So, how are things with the accountant?" 

Gyuri was surprised that he dropped the subject so easily but couldn’t feel relief about it because she realized he didn't even bother to remember the writer's name. In a way, she wasn’t even surprised by such a passive-aggressive move. It was such a Baekhyun thing to do when he didn’t like someone. However, she couldn’t dwell on that when memories from the past weekend rushed to her head. Despite all the pain and craziness the curse hurled at her, most of what she remembered of that trip was pleasant.

"All good." She said, trying to push aside the memory of his presence in that bathroom and his intoxicating closeness.

"Are you sure?”, He asked, glancing at her, “Because you're blushing."

“I’m not blushing.” She mumbled, taking a deep breath.

Gyuri was blushing. She could feel her face burning at the memory of fingertips brushing over her skin, but she would never admit that to Baekhyun. Not like she could ever keep anything from him because the guy was just too perceptive. He gasped, looking at her, probably imagining the worst.

“What happened?” He asked.

“Nothing.”

“What do you mean with nothing? You wouldn’t be blushing like that if nothing happened,” Baekhyun argued back, pulling the car over to the front of her house.

“I’m not blushing.” She said through her teeth.

Sensing that Gyuri was about to lose her temper, Baekhyun killed the engine and called her with a condescending tone that was about to make her snap. Thankfully, they were right outside her house, and that was her way out of the situation. She was unbuckling her seatbelt when she felt him positioning himself to have a better look at her. Gyuri had seen that posture many times before whenever they spent hours talking in his car. Baekhyun would sit like that to talk and gossip with her about whatever came to their minds, but that day, for the first time, she would not let it happen. Gyuri opened the door and scrambled out of the car, leaving him shocked in his seat and looking at her as if she had just smacked him in the face.

“I’ll tell you some other day.” She said.

“Sure.” He replied. 

Even though he smiled at her, she knew Baekhyun did not fall for it. The gesture never reached his eyes, and the moment she closed the door, she saw, through the smoky tint of the window, how his entire expression and demeanor fell apart in disappointment. Gyuri couldn’t let the urge she felt shift her determination. Knocking at the window, she waved her hand and smiled as genuinely as it was physically possible until there was a smile on his face. It fascinated Gyuri how effective that was because Baekhyun waved back at her, now with a small yet genuine smile. He drove away, and she watched the car disappear around the corner, relieved to have survived. 

As if she was taunting fate with that thought, she found herself suddenly frozen in fright. She trembled as chills ran through her entire body and recognized everything about the sensation only because she had experienced it before. Gyuri had smelled that scent before. She turned around, standing right before her house, and the place that had always felt like the safest place on earth was suddenly darker, bigger, and scarier. 

Gyuri reached the door, desperately wanting to get in, and cursed under her breath because she was sure the smell definitely came from her house. She called for her parents and felt tears clouding her sight as her hands trembled so much she couldn’t even unlock the door. In her mind, perhaps that faulty perfume might disappear once she was inside. She tried again, and again but the door did not butch as if the building was actively keeping her out and exposed. The idea alone of staying out ripped every bit of strength off her legs, and she gasped for air when the door finally moved, and she collapsed into the strong embrace of her parent's arms. She closed her eyes shut, held unto them for dear life, and let them take her to safety. She could hear the panic in their voices as they tried to calm her down, but all she knew was that that smell wasn’t going away and that she wouldn’t survive the night if it didn’t. Little did she know that it was all the beginning of the end.

[kpop-stories-21]

Oh, How I Wish That Was Me

Group: ATEEZ

Pairing: Wooyoung x Reader, Yeosang x Reader

Requested by: @sanjoongie

Word Count: 4.1k

Rating: 18-21+

Genres + AUs: Non-Idol AU, Romance AU, Unrequited Love, Fluff, Angst

Content & Trigger Warnings: New model!Reader, Famous model!Yeosang, Barista!Wooyoung, strong language, hanahaki disease, jealousy, reader is completely oblivious, Yeosang is a bit stuck up, poor Woo is down bad, pining, poorly handled emotions, heartbreak, broken friendship, small blood and vomit warnings at the end

Summary: Lee Y/N has been Jung Wooyoung's best friend since they were toddlers, and his crush since they were in middle school. Wooyoung's other friends have urged him many times to just tell Y/N how he feels, but Wooyoung is too afraid of losing Y/N as a friend. One day a model named Kang Yeosang catches Y/N's eye, and everything begins to fall apart.

Tags: @kpop---scenarios @umbralhelwolf @jeonrose @skittlez-area512 @mybiasisexo @skeletor-ify @biaswreckingfics @trashlord-007 @liliesofdreamsskz @rdiamond2727 @naturalogre

Network pings: @cacaokpop-fics | @kdiarynet

Inspiration: "I Wish" by One Direction (title is from the lyrics)

This oneshot is my entry in @cultofdionysusnet 's Meet Me Under The Cherry Tree event

A/N: If you liked this work and want to request your own oneshot, click the link above to see what prompts are left!

MDNI banner courtesy of @cafekitsune

Event Masterlist | Main Masterlist

"A person doesn't know true hurt and suffering until they've felt the pain of falling in love with someone whose affections lie elsewhere." - Rose Gordon

"Yah, Jung Wooyoung, wait for me!" You yelled breathlessly, struggling to keep up with the red-haired male's faster pace.

"Walk faster Y/N-ah!" He called over his shoulder with a teasing grin. "Last one inside has to pay for lunch!"

Breaking into a light jog, you hurried to catch up to your friend, but he was too far ahead and made it into the café first. Letting out a sigh, you slowed your pace a little so you wouldn't slip on an unseen patch of ice. Once you entered the quaint building Wooyoung greeted you with a bright smile.

"Look who finally showed up!"

Upon seeing your glare he burst into cackling laughter, prompting you to whack his arm repeatedly until he calmed down enough that the other patrons stopped staring at him.

"You're such an attention whore, I don't know how we're still friends." You said, only half serious. Wooyoung was an attention whore, but you didn't know how you'd have survived without him as your closest friend.

"You know you love it." He sassed. You just rolled your eyes and left it at that.

After the two of you ordered and received your food, Wooyoung spoke up.

"So, what's it like being a model?"

You felt the beginnings of a giddy grin lift your cheeks. "I love it! Don't get me wrong, it's demanding and stressful, but the fact that this is what I've always wanted to do makes it all worth it."

Pride filled Wooyoung as he listened to you gush about your job; how nice the other models were, how helpful your agent has been, and how much fun you had during the shoots. If only one of you got their dream job, he was glad the universe chose you. You'd worked so hard to get to this point, and you deserved to be this happy.

"Have you made any friends yet?" He inquired after both of you had finished eating.

You nodded enthusiastically. "I have actually! Seonghwa, my agent, introduced me to one of the company's top models. His name is Yeosang and he's actually a year younger than me, believe it or not. He's so hot I thought I was going to melt right then and there, but somehow I managed to keep myself together, and we hit it off right away!"

And there it was: the tightness that manifested in Wooyoung's chest every time you talked about a guy you were interested in. He knew he really didn't have any reason to be jealous when you weren't even aware of his feelings, but he'd liked you for so long that it was almost second nature at this point; you talked about a guy and he was automatically jealous. Most times he hid his reaction behind a joke or a change of subject, and today was no different.

"He's not hotter than me, is he?"

You giggled at the pout on Wooyoung's face and patted his hand reassuringly. "No one could be hotter than you Woo, but Yeosang's a close second."

Wooyoung's heart raced upon hearing you call him hot, but he managed to keep his composure.

"Whew, thank goodness." He said with a grin, wiping imaginary sweat from his forehead.

Your laugh was interrupted by the ringing of your phone. The call was from Seonghwa, so you answered it immediately and prayed that he had good news.

“Hey Hwa, what’s up?”

“I have some great news Y/N! Yeosang’s agent saw how well you two got along and has suggested having you do a shoot together.”

Your eyes widened in surprise. A brand new model doing a shoot with the company’s best was practically unheard of, but you knew better than to turn it down. This could be a needed spark to kickstart your own rise in the public eye.

“Wow, that’s awesome!” You exclaimed, lips breaking into a wide grin.

“It’s a wonderful opportunity.” Seonghwa agreed. “Are you able to come back to the company right now? Yunho wants to finalise the details as soon as possible.”

You nodded, then remembered he couldn't see you. “Yeah, I just finished having lunch with Wooyoung. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

You hung up and turned to Wooyoung with an apologetic smile. You absolutely hated how little time you had to spend with your friends these days, but you had known when you signed the contract how busy you’d become and you didn’t regret it one bit.

“Duty calls?” Wooyoung questioned.

“Yeah. Remember that model named Yeosang I was telling you about?”

Wooyoung nodded.

“Well, Seonghwa just informed me that Yeosang’s agent wants us to do a shoot together.”

“Wow. That’s pretty cool.”

“It’s a wonderful opportunity.” You told him, echoing Seonghwa. “This could really kick off my career.”

Wooyoung smiled warmly and stood to pull you into a tight hug. “Look at my bestie going places already. You won’t forget little old me once you’re all famous, will you?”

You laughed and lightly punched his shoulder. “As if. You’d never let me.”

Wooyoung’s grin turned mischievous. “True.You need somebody to keep you from getting the big head.”

You punched his shoulder again and grabbed your bag. “I should probably go before Seonghwa sends the cavalry after me. Call you later?”

Wooyoung pocketed his phone and followed you out. “Sure thing. Have fun!”

That evening Wooyoung was hanging out with his friends San, Mingi and Hongjoong when the subject of you and your modelling came up.

“Is she still enjoying it?” Hongjoong asked.

Wooyoung smiled fondly. “Yeah, she loves it. It’s so cute the way she can talk about it nonstop for as long as you let her.”

“You’re so whipped dude.” San declared. “I don’t know how Y/N hasn’t figured it out yet.”

Wooyoung’s smile faded a little. “She’s always been a bit oblivious to things like that…” He was silent a moment before continuing. “She told me today she’s met someone in her modelling company. Apparently he’s their top model and she kept gushing over how hot he was. Then right before we left her agent called saying this guy’s agent wanted them to do a shoot together.”

Hongjoong frowned. “She serious about him yet?”

Wooyoung shook his head. “I doubt it, she just met the guy.”

“You should tell her how you feel before she gets really involved with him.” Mingi advised, eyes looking slightly worried. “I hate seeing you mope around whenever she dates someone.”

Wooyoung sighed.”I don’t see the point. It’s unlikely she sees me as anything more than her best friend.”

“You won’t really know till you tell her though.” San pointed out.

Wooyoung just sighed again. “I’ll think about it. Can we change the subject please?”

The three friends exchanged a concerned look over Wooyoung’s head before complying and talking about other things.

A month passed with you and Wooyoung not getting to interact much at all. The photoshoot with Yeosang was a massive success, rocketing you up the ranks as countless brands and companies all fought for a chance to have you model their products.

Wooyoung looked through the released pictures because he knew you would ask his thoughts next time you saw each other, but every minute of it was absolutely painful. You looked so good with Yeosang, who was far more attractive than Wooyoung had imagined. The theme of the shoot was extremely romantic since Valentine’s Day was right around the corner, and the photographers had put you and Yeosang in multiple couple’s poses, even going so far as to have him kiss your cheek. It was all Wooyoung could do not to scroll through the pictures at the speed of light.

A few weeks after the photoshoot Wooyoung was working his usual shift at the café near his apartment when a familiar face appeared. Your style had gotten more polished and expensive since you’d become an ambassador for a couple of popular brands, but he still recognized you. He’d know that heart-stopping smile anywhere.

"Hey there stranger! Long time no see." He greeted you with a smile.

Your head shot up in surprise, probably forgetting this was his shift. “Oh my God, Woo! I totally forgot this was when you worked!” You slipped behind the counter to give him a hug.

Wooyoung laughed. “I don’t blame you one bit, Miss Superstar.”

You blushed at the nickname. Then suddenly, as if remembering something you’d forgotten to tell him, you turned and motioned for a figure near the door to come join you. The red-haired male hadn’t even noticed them at first, but as they came closer Wooyoung was met with none other than the very man who’d held you in his embrace for the whole world to see.

“Wooyoung, I’d like you to meet Yeosang. Yeo, this is Wooyoung. He’s been my best friend since we were little.”

Wooyoung’s teeth caught hold of his cheek as he fought to keep the smile on his face. “So this is the infamous Yeosang. I’ve heard a lot about you” He said, extending his hand. Yeosang shook it, expression unreadable.

“I’ve heard a great deal about you as well.”

God, his way of speaking was as smooth and formal as his looks. No wonder you looked at him like he’d hung the stars. Not for the first time, Wooyoung wished you would look at him like that.

“We’re having a well-deserved coffee date before the next batch of promotions rolls around and we get super busy again.”

Wooyoung tasted blood on his tongue as he bit deeper into his cheek. If you weren't currently busy, why hadn’t you asked to hang out or at the least dropped by his apartment? He’d never classed himself as a particularly clingy friend, but he would’ve liked to see or talk to you at least once after a whole month with little to no contact.

“I see.” Was all he said before asking what you and Yeosang wanted to order. The last thing he wanted was to let his feelings get the better of him and start a whole big fight right there in the café. He pretended not to see your confusion at how stiff he was being, or how one look from Yeosang had you smiling again within seconds.

As he moved about the back preparing things, he felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Changbin, a friend of his from highschool who also worked at the café.

“You okay?” He asked quietly.

Wooyoung shook his head. “No, but I’ll be alright. Not like I haven’t been through this before.”

Changbin felt for his friend. If didn't know how upset the redhead would get, he’d be very tempted to march right up to you and knock that obliviousness out of your head just so Wooyoung could stop hurting. But Wooyoung had begged Changbin and his other friends not to get involved, saying if he could still be friends with you it would be enough.

“You sure you’re good?” Chan, the café’s owner, piped up as walked over. “She’s never brought a guy here before.”

Changbin glared at the older man, whose ears reddened in embarrassment.

“Right, I’mma just keep my mouth shut and uh…go check our inventory!”

Wooyoung chuckled as he watched Chan flee his boyfriend’s wrath.

“I’ll be fine, Binnie. I promise.”

Changbin eyed him seriously. “If you would just tell her how you feel before they get really serious, you wouldn’t have to go through this again.”

Wooyoung examined his shoes disinterestedly as he repeated what he’d told the guys a month earlier. “I’ll think about it.”

Changbin's eyebrow rose, obviously seeing through the words, but he let Wooyoung go and didn't speak on it.

As he finished up the order for you and Yeosang, Wooyoung found his friend's words echoing in his head. Maybe they were right, maybe confessing to you would change things. It was worth a shot, right? At the very least you would understand why he'd never liked any of the boyfriends you'd had over the years.

The Cherry Blossom Festival was this weekend, he remembered, and decided that would be the perfect way to tell you how he felt. After all, didn't cherry blossoms symbolise new beginnings?

So when you came to get the tray from him, he stopped you.

"Are you free this weekend?" He asked.

"Yeah, schedules don't pick back up till next week. Why?"

"Since we haven't been able to hang out for a while, I was wondering if you would go to the Cherry Blossom Festival with me."

A sweet smile lit your face and Wooyoung felt his heart sing. "Of course Woo. I want to know about everything I missed!"

Wooyoung laughed and released the tray, watching as you returned to the booth with Yeosang. He said a silent prayer to any god who might be listening that things would go smoothly this weekend.

The next day Wooyoung was woken at an obscenely early hour by the ringing of his cell phone. He almost didn't answer it in the haze of being barely awake, but then decided to pick up in case it was you calling for something.

"Hello?"

"Good morning." A crisp, unfamiliar voice filled his ears. "I am trying to reach a Mr. Jung Wooyoung in regards to a job offer."

Wooyoung jolted into a sitting position, feeling suddenly wide awake. "This is Jung Wooyoung." He replied, heart pounding.

"Ah, excellent. Mr. Jung, my name is Lim Inseo and I am the principal of Minjeon Elementary School in Seoul. I am calling to inform you that your teaching application has been accepted and we have a spot waiting for you if you are still interested."

Wooyoung felt a thrill shoot through him, the elation stronger than any caffeine rush. There was just one problem: what if you accepted his confession this weekend? Your modelling career was finally kicking off, you couldn't just pack up and move with him to Seoul on such short notice.

It was with a somewhat heavy heart that he spoke into the phone. "That's wonderful news Mr. Lim. However, a possible conflict has sprung up since I applied for the position. I should know by this weekend if I will be able to accept, would that be too late?"

"Not at all!" Mr. Lim told him. "Classes don't start until next month, so you'll still have plenty of time to put together your lesson plans, should you accept. On behalf of the school, I look forward to hearing from you Mr. Jung. I hope you have a good rest of the day."

Once Wooyoung hung up, he sat on the edge of his bed with a wide grin. Maybe you wouldn't be the only one to get their dream job after all.

After work that day he met up with his friends at Hongjoong's place and told them the good news.

"That's great Woo!" San exclaimed, dimples on display as he grinned broadly.

"What about Y/N?" Chan and Changbin asked almost simultaneously.

"We're going to the Festival this weekend, and I'm gonna tell her. Depending on her answer, I'll either accept or decline the offer."

Cheers and whistles sounded from all of them, thrilled that Wooyoung was finally going to make his feelings known.

"I hope she says yes." Mingi declared. "Even if it means losing the teaching position, you deserve a happy ending as much as the rest of us."

Wooyoung felt his cheeks begin to ache from all the smiling and laughing he'd done that day. He couldn't remember the last time he'd truly been this happy.

Upon returning to his flat, he found a couple of missed texts from you and went to read them right away. The messages were short, just letting him know that Friday wouldn't work because another model had gone into early labour so you were covering her shoot that day. Saturday would still be free for you though, barring some last minute emergency.

Wooyoung texted back, letting you know Saturday worked fine for him and that he would see you then.

That night he slept soundly, his head full of the most wonderful dreams with you at the centre of each one. It seemed like his life was finally starting to come together, and for the first time in years he began to feel as if maybe, just maybe, you liked him as much as he liked you.

He'd give up his dream job a thousand times over if it meant getting to spend the rest of his life with you by his side, starting a family together and living happily ever after like the two of you were in one of those fairytales he'd heard as a kid.

When he awakened Saturday morning the whole thing felt almost too good to be true, as if any moment now he'd truly wake up and find all of this had been just another dream. He made a point not to think about what might happen if you rejected him. The last thing he wanted was to ruin his mood before anything even happened.

Wooyoung spent the morning lazing about, saving his energy for the time spent with you. At ten till four he began to get ready, knowing that it took 30 minutes to get from his place to yours, and another half an hour from your place to where the Festival was being held.

He put on a black button-up, black trousers and black loafers. Examining his reflection in the mirror, he smiled. He looked nice, but still casual. Grabbing his phone and wallet, he locked the door and began the drive to your apartment.

When Wooyoung pulled into the driveway, he found you standing in the doorway expectantly. You wore a pretty pink blouse and soft grey skinny jeans, with white sandals and a white bag completing the look. You looked amazing, and Wooyoung had to work hard not to just sit and stare at you.

You smiled at him as you slid into the passenger seat.

"Ready to go?" He asked. You nodded, and he began backing out of your driveway.

The drive to the Festival was, simply put, torture. Wooyoung had made the mistake of being polite and asking how Yeosang was, and for the entire half hour you spoke endlessly about how much you enjoyed spending time with him, how nice he was to you, and how he was constantly buying expensive things for you.

Every word was like another knife in Wooyoung's already wounded heart, and by the time he parked at the Festival venue he felt ready to fall apart. But the two of you were meant to have fun tonight, so he would do his best to make sure you didn't see his distress.

Despite how the evening began, things quickly began to look up. The Festival turned out to be quite fun, with attractions for people of all ages. By the time the sun went down you and Wooyoung had played several games, eaten delicious food from the food trucks, and participated in several cherry blossom themed activities. With the moon now overhead, there was only one thing left for Wooyoung to do: take you under the cherry blossoms and confess his feelings.

Standing under the many blossoms, now bathed in silver from the celestial lights, Wooyoung felt a surge of courage and opened his mouth to speak. But just then, you interrupted him.

"I know you have something you wanna tell me, I've felt you vibrating all evening, but I have something to tell you too and I'd kinda like to share mine first. If that's okay, of course."

Wooyoung swallowed hard, a pit of dread rising in his stomach. "Sure, go ahead."

You took a deep breath, then blurted out "Yeosang asked me to be his girlfriend!"

Pain. That was the first thing he felt when the words left your lips. The agony of a sensation akin to a thousand burning knives stabbing and tearing through his chest. He coughed, alarmed by the sudden lack of air in his lungs. Wooyoung sucked in a sharp breath, and the pain suddenly evaporated. Straightening, he looked into your concerned eyes and smiled weakly.

"Sorry, a bug flew into my mouth." Taking another breath, he added "I'm so happy for you Y/N. You two will make a great couple."

You smiled broadly. "Thanks. Now, what were you going to tell me?"

He couldn't go through with it now. He could not, in any good conscience, tell you he loved you when you had just become someone else's girlfriend. All he could do now was change what he told you and shove the feelings deep down like he'd always done.

"You remember when I applied for that teaching position? Well I, um, I got the job."

"Oh my God, really? Woo that's amazing! Look at us, both getting our dream jobs. Best friends indeed!"

Best friends. The words stung his ears like an angry wasp and he just wanted the earth to swallow him whole. Looking at the cherry blossoms all around, Wooyoung felt a cynical laugh bubble up in his throat. This was a new beginning alright, just not the one he'd wanted.

"Yeah, I'm excited about it. The only thing is that the school is in Seoul, which means I'll be moving soon."

"Awww I'll miss you." You whined, pouting a little.

"I'll miss you too Y/N." Wooyoung replied, though he wasn't entirely sure he really meant it.

Later that night, after dropping you off and returning home, Wooyoung filled his friends in via a group call while drowning his sorrows in some alcohol he'd found in the fridge. All his friends expressed their sympathy for him not getting to confess to you, and also their excitement over his new job. They all offered to help him pack over the next couple days and he immediately accepted, not wanting to be alone with his thoughts just yet.

Next morning he was awakened by Hongjoong gently shaking him. The older male's hands held some aspirin and a bottle of water, both a welcome sight to Wooyoung's hungover brain. Once the redhead was upright and coherent, Hongjoong smiled softly.

"Ready to start packing?" He asked.

Wooyoung emptied the water bottle and nodded. "Ready as I'll ever be."

Three years later

Wooyoung let out a sigh as he entered the small apartment, dropping his keys and briefcase on the counter as he reached up to remove his glasses and loosen his tie.

The children had been more rowdy than usual today, and he was quite ready for a break. Running a hand through hair that was now black as night, he headed to his bedroom for a warm shower and a change to some comfier clothes.

He'd kept close contact with his friends over the years, and maintained some semblance of friendship with you as well. He never gave up hope that things would end up not working between you and Yeosang, so that he could finally tell you how he felt.

Stretched out on the couch, Wooyoung began to scroll through Instagram, liking his friends' pictures as he caught up with the day's news. And then he saw it.

The picture was of your own slender hand, a gorgeous diamond ring decorating the fourth finger. Below it you had added the caption "I said yes!"

It was at that moment that Wooyoung knew for sure: you would never be his.

Pain. It was just like the pain he'd felt under the cherry blossoms all those years ago, only this time it was much worse. He felt something clawing at his throat and the urge to vomit rose within him. He raced to the bathroom, feeling as though he was being torn apart from the inside.

Crouched over the toilet, Wooyoung began to heave and heave until the pain subsided. When he could breathe again, he leaned over to see what had caused such torment and felt his whole body go cold.

There, filling the toilet bowl almost to the brim, was a mass of flower petals and thorny vines. He knew exactly what it meant, and it was yet another confirmation that you and he would never be.

"Hanahaki disease." He muttered, voice raspy from the abuse of the thorns. Dribbles of blood decorated his lips as he smiled wryly. "Three years was good, I guess. My only regret is never telling Y/N I loved her. Maybe in our next life things will be different."

Having made his peace with things, Wooyoung stood to his feet and went to tell his family and friends that he was dying.

[jehan-d-art]

thank you for tagging me @clawbehavior

Rules: make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

Note: I'm only putting fics of which I haven't posted anything yet into this list to not make it too easy to guess what the stories are about (also, I've got like 15 or more on-going fics on ao3 at the time) ^^

kpop

SHINee

- jongtae - dream girl

- accidentally kink discovery

- minkey - it's all just a shell

- taekaiten - deep into the mood

- minkey - kei x yaku au

- minkey puppy love

- minkey - kinky office romance

Seventeen

- verkwan - Hanahaki Disease AU

- junhao - broke witch

- jeongcheol - worship

- jigyu - hybrid au

- meanies

- verkwan - primary school teachers

- verkwan - period drama

- Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Xu Minghao | The8/Yoon Jeonghan

- soonhoon - (a/b/o, still you 'verse)

SHINee and Seventeen

- minkey / solboo bodyswap

- foursome

Ateez

- jongsang - same scent (inspired by oneus)

- the courage of stars - seongjoong space pirates au

- woosan - mignon aka vampire au

- yungi - canon compliant friends to lovers

WayV

- vampire polycule, aka xiaojun/wayv

others

- taekaiten - deep into the mood

- ten/jackson/jeff - (code) switching

- bunny boys - I'm a bottom and you're a bottom, what the fuck… or how the fuck?

- jeongcheol + kunten (+ jeongten + kuncheol) - matter of perspective

TV series

Beyond Evil

- entwined (pov after the loss)

- same old rut

The Devil Judge

- graven image

- dog motif

- dog motif teeth

Jack & Joker: U Steal My Heart!

- nesting

- j/j as a/a

I have no idea who to tag and (let me count real quick...) I will not be tagging over 30 people, so I'll just be tagging a few people though even if I have not tagged you, please feel free to answer to this ^^

@little-arcadia @gaylilsherlock @uhhhhmanda @deepbutdazzlingdarkness @darthfluff @27vampyresinhermind

[toxicrevolver]

Tagged by @smushedmuffin thanks for the tag!!

Here's a little get-to-know-you tag game

Name(s): Obsidian (currently. It might still change. Who knows)

Pronouns: it/its are what I prefer but a lot of people just outright refuse to use them so they/them is also fine

Star sign: Scorpio

# of siblings & fun facts about them (if you have any): I have 2 older siblings (they’re twins), 1 younger sibling, and I have a younger step brother (he’s younger than the younger sibling). 4/5 of us are queer! The only one not queer is one of the older siblings.

# of pets: I currently live with two dogs (they belong to not me) and I have a cat at my younger siblings house.

Fandoms: so many. Currently it’s just kpop in general and kinnporsche the series. I’m working on watching other BLs (with difficulty) so basically the BL fandom

Favorite color: purple

Favorite song: currently it’s “New Heroes” by Ten (of NCT/WayV)

Favorite author (of anything readable): Fanfic authors!! Just in general. They put in so much work for something that’s entirely free for me to read and I appreciate that so much!!

Hobbies: I’m like a junk drawer of hobbies. Crocheting (barely). Painting/drawing. Writing. Baking/cooking. The list goes on. I like hobbies but I’m really bad at sticking with them.

Favorite fic type: I might get canceled for this but I like reading age regression fanfic (NON SEXUAL FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST). I also enjoy a good hanahaki disease fic sometimes. 5+1 FICS GIVE ME LIFE. However, I’m really not opposed to reading anything. I draw the line at certain things but there’s very few tags that will deter me from reading a fic with a good description or for a pairing I love.

Favorite holiday: HALLOWEEN

Do you have any partner(s)? nope

Fun facts about you/anything extra you wanna share!

- I identify as agender and 2 of my siblings identify as nonbinary (one is more genderfluid and the other has no specific label) so the running joke is that one of them stole my gender.

- I have read fanfic out of pure curiosity (aka I wanted to know why the fuck something was a ship) and I regretted it every time yet I still haven’t learned.

- I’m notorious for reading dead dove fanfic bcs I’ll read the tags/description and think “it can’t be THAT bad” and it is. It’s always that bad. The dead dove tag says it all. I still haven’t learned. I do this every few months.

- Speaking of dead dove. I have a few comfort fics that are dead dove.

- I have a really hard time watching movies bcs they’re too long (if I’m at home I typically end up watching the movie while playing a game on my phone)

- my favourite desserts are lemon flavoured

~~~~~

Tagging (no pressure): @odeblr @serendipminie @loveable-sea-lemon @we-survive-endlessly and if anyone else wants to participate they can blame me!

[maddiesnook]

flower boy.

GENRE - creative fiction

WORD COUNT - 420

a fanfiction piece i wrote around 2019 when i was intrigued with kpop and this popular fanfiction trope called hanahaki disease; a fictional disease in which the victim begins to cough up flowers as a result of unrequited love.

yeonjun was stunning. hauntingly beautiful - perched up in a sitting position amongst the flora. and you couldn’t help but feel at fault.

he was adorned in flowers of white and purple that grew in every direction. thorns spread across his limbs, wrapping around his head, holding him in an upright position that made him look more lively. his eyes were closed, head drooped to the side, face pale as winter. he looked so pretty and full of life, but the purple and white liquid that spilled from each orafice of his face said otherwise. it trickled down his nose, out the corners of his mouth, and down his ears in a way that made him hard to look at. especially the dark purple liquid that spread across his throat, eerily resembling blood.

you held his face in saddness and adoration, staining your own skin with the gooey, multi-colored liquid. tears prickled at your eyes, spilling over as you stared as his face that was void of emotion. and it was in that moment you knew you loved him too. your heart yearned for him more than it had ever before. maybe that feeling has always existed, but you would never allow yourself to come to terms with it until this moment. until it was too late. your whole body ached because of it.

and like a switch going off, the flowers began to wilt under your touch. the liquid suddenly ceased spilling from him, and his eyes fluttered opened ever so softly. he was alive.

yeonjun stared up at you with wide eyes. he took in his surroundings with a sharp breath, blinking rapidly as he grasped the full weight of the situation. finally his eyes settled on you. the love of his life. the love that nearly killed him.

“i-i’m not… but you don’t-” yeonjun stammered, trying to understand how the disease hadn’t killed him. he gripped his stomach over his drenched clothing, feeling its emptiness as he realized the lack of flowers growing within him.

“i love you so much,” you said with choked words, barely audible. “i am so sorry i put you through this.”

he didn’t respond to your apology, and instead pulled you against him, forcing you into his lap as he kissed your lips breathlessly. you were coated in the colorful liquid that spilled from him moments ago, but neither of you cared. he finally had you in his arms as you were always intended to be.

his unrequited love was no more.

[trikxx]

✦︎⌒︎—︎Sorry, I love you

Seo Changbin angst short

OC!

warnings - character death, hanahaki disease,terminal illness(S)

enjoy

[day 1] a single petal

Jamie sat at her desk in class staring at the clock in the far corner of the classroom, waiting for the lecture to be over. The girl put her head down til she felt a sharp pain in her chest, causing he to let out a dry painful cough. She didn’t know wether to panic or to forget about it.

You may be like ‘FORGET ABOUT IT!? WHY THE HELL WOULD SHE DO THATT?’ Well…Jamie had been dealing with a dry scratchy throat through out that whole lecture class, and since she had a water she was able to make the sensation go away for a little.

“Hey J, you’ve been coughing the whole class, you ok?” Hyunjin asked looking at the older girl. “Yes, i’m ok. My throat is just dry.” The girl responded coughing again, but this time a bit louder.

The last bell of the day rang, and Jamie began gathering her belongings so she could meet her friends at the main corridor.

As she walked down the hallway looking down at her notebook. She enjoyed the sound of the faint conversations of the other college students. Just listening to everything around her soothed her ears, “Jamie!” A familiar voice yelled from a few feet ahead. The girl looked up to see her friends a few feet ahead, “hey,” she said, tossing the now closed notebook into her bag. “Where’s Felix and Hyunjin?” The girl questioned, “Hyunjin stayed for dance, and Felix had to go to work early today, he said Mark asked him to cover for him for the day and he’ll cover for Felix during the big literature test,” the girl nodded at the answer, “So… are we gonna go orrrrr?” Jamie asked, almost barely getting the words up and she choked on a cough. “Jamie are you ok?” Changbin asked.

Jamie managed to say that she was ok, before letting everyone know she was just going to go home, and that she’ll talk to them later.

The girl got in her car and coughed loudly, trying to clear her throat. It felt like someone had just shoved a whole hand full of reheated fast food fries down her throat. Once she was able to clear her throat, she watched as one single hibiscus flower leaf fell on to her lap.

Jamie gasped in fear. Thoughts flooded into her mind, why a single petal, and why was it coming out of her

As she pulled out of the school parking lot she noticed her friends walking towards the campus cafe, she felt bad that she left so abruptly, but she didn’t want to worry any of her friends so she went home.

✦︎⁎︎◝︎―︎

Jamie entered through the door of her apartment, closing the door behind her instantly letting out another heart wrenching cough. She clenched on to her chest, trying to ease the extreme feeling in her. The girl let out a loud gasp as she caught her breath. She looked down at the floor noticing more of the pinkish - red petals.

She picked up the small pile of petals up from her floor and threw them away, looking up the mean of ‘coughing up petals’.

Hanahaki disease

Jamie stared at the screen with the words hanahaki disease painting the screen.

“hanahaki disease is a disease where the victim of unrequited or one-sided love begins to vomit or cough up the petals and flowers of a flowering plant growing in their lungs, which will eventually grow large enough to render breathing impossible if left untreated.” Jamie read aloud to make sure she had read correctly.

“Then what are the ways to treat it?” the girl asked as she began scrolling through the short list of treatments “rare surgery to have the flowers removed, find love in that person or some else, or d-“

The doorbell began ringing, Jamie tried to close out the tabs knowing that it was either Hyunjin or Changbin at the door by the way the door bell was being rung and they were knocking at the same time.

“Hold on!” Jamie yelled frantically clicking the mouse. The computer had froze so she had no other choice but to close the laptop and hope they didn’t need it.

“Jung Jisoo, open the door now!” Changbin yelled

Jisoo Jisoo Jisoo

Jisoo was Jamie’s real name but after she came back from the U.S she usually went by Jamie.

“Ok, you can stop now,” Jamie said looking at Changbin. “Hyunjin told me that you were coughing all day. Are you ok? Are you sick?” “Bin” “I can make some tea…no i am going to-“ “Bin!” The girl yelled stopping Changbin mid sentence, “take off your shoes, and no im ok. I don’t need any tea,”

The older slowly took his shoes off as he watched the girl walk into the kitchen, and let out a soft cough. “No Jamie. Are you actually ok?” Changbin asked walking closer the girl. “Im ok…i’m gonna go to the bathroom real quick,”

―︎

“Jamie, you ok in there?” Changbin asked, standing outside the bathroom door. “Yes I’m ok,” Jamie said as she walked out the bathroom. “Here’s some tea go sit down on the couch, I’ll be in there in a minute,” Jamie insisted that Changbin goes home, but he refused.

Changbin came back to. The living room and sat down on the couch next Jamie. “Come over here,” Changbin said, looking at Jamie with soft eyes.

This made the girl melt inside, but she couldn’t let it show. “I’m ok Chang-“ “I wasn’t giving you a choice, now come here” Changbin demanded.

The two laid on the couch, eventually falling asleep. Jamie shot out of her sleep not too long after. The girl ran to the bathroom and instantly started hacking up more hibiscus petals. “Fuck,” the girl choked on her words, holding her aching chest. The girl slid down the wall behind her and began to think about the solutions, “It’s probably impossible to find love in someone else, but i don’t want to loose the feeling of love. That’ll just hurt more than this,”

Jamie cleaned herself up and then went back into the living room to wake up Changbin, “Bin, it’s past 6 you should head home. We have lecture tomorrow,” the man groaned and got up, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Soyoun is probably looking for me too,”

Changbin and Jamie hugged before he left out the house. Jamie made sure he got to his car before closing the door. Jamie went into the kitchen to make some tea before going up to her room and getting into bed.

Quiet sobs filled the room, Jamie was hurting and in pain but she knew she didn’t want to ruin her friendship by drowning Changbin with her feelings, especially since he was in a relationship. She tried to stop loving him many times but it never seemed to work. She would try and then end up falling more in love. So that was already off the list of cures. Surgery to loose the feeling of love…no. Just no. Jamie knew she wouldn’t be able to live like that… but she felt so selfish. If she was to pass on any day now she would be hurting everyone she knew and loved.

She was down to the last two options, tell changbin with the possibility of ruining their friendship or… let nature…hell no. This is not nature. Or let the growing plant just kill her. This thought made the girl cry harder.

Jamie wiped her face and stared at the wall trying to clear her mind eventually falling asleep.

☆︎ ☆︎ ☆︎ ☆︎ ☆︎ ☆︎ ☆︎ ☆︎ ☆︎ ☆︎ ☆︎ ☆︎ ☆︎ ☆︎ ☆︎ ☆︎ ☆︎ ☆︎

[otptings]

Flowers

☽ Requested; Yes

☽ Idol; Jungwon

☽Word Count; 3.3k+

☽ Genre; Hanahaki (lots of mentions for it) Friends to Lovers, slight Angst

☽ Warnings; Self deprecating thoughts, mentions of hanahaki disease, slight blood, lots of cringe flower metaphors

☽ Synopsis; Date night has been a monthly tradition since before Jungwon debuted in Enhypen. This is your first day out in months with Jungwon, but somethings different about this one. Is it the fact that he's an idol now, and all of your activities happen in empty establishments that have been bought out by his management, or is it your newly returning feelings for Jungwon that threatened to choke you out, causing dark violet flowers to spew out of your mouth at every interaction with him?

☽ A/n; The zoo I am describing for this is the Honolulu Zoo because that is the last one that I've been to, so if some of the animals aren't in Seoul than I apologize for that. Hope you enjoy this and sorry for taking so long on this request I had so many ideas of how to pull off the dates

You trusted Jungwon. It came easily like breathing, only a natural side effect developed effortlessly over 5 years of friendship. Days spent laughing and telling jokes, venting to each other about worries and stresses, studying for hours the night before tests. With someone as generous, and lovable as him it was easy to trust him with your life. He has also used this to his advantage, convincing you to do questionable things with a flash of his dimples. Like now, allowing him to lead you down the streets of Seoul while blindfolded. Completely at his mercy.

"Are we close? My feet are starting to hurt. We've been walking for hours." You whined as Jungwon pulled you around another corner. You've lost your sense of direction 4 turns ago, and he seemed to keep on going. "Why couldn't your manager just drive us the whole way? You had to have him stop super far from wherever you're taking me?" Jungwon just let out a laugh and gently squeezed your wrist. . His hand surrounding your wrist was comforting and grounding, a reminder that you were safe with him.

"We're almost there I promise. And if I would've done that it wouldn't have been a surprise now would it." You humphed knowing that Jungwon was stubborn when it came to things like this.

"You always do this. It's not fair, your ideas are always so much fancier than mine." Jungwon let out another laugh, and you didn't have to see him to know his expression. Eyes probably scrunched up, his dimples greeting the world as he laughed at my pain.

"It's not my fault that I love you so much. Plus I always want to do something special with you." Confusion flooded your mind while your heart skipped multiple beats at his words.

In the same sense of truth, feelings were natural too. Flowering in your chest with every sweet action he did, never wanting a reward for it just doing them because that's the kind of person he is. Packing extra food in his lunch box knowing your tendency to forget your own. Cupping your cheeks while he wiped away your tears, listening to you rant about your sorrows or broken hearts. Pulling you close to his chest afterwards, massaging the back of your head knowing how bad your headaches get after crying. Arms wrapped securely around you as he whispered calming words into your ear, a sense of security and comfort blanketing you while listening to his heart beat. Every gentle, caring and loving action made the flowers grow.

When Jungwon told you about his plan to audition for Be-Lift one part of you was selfish. You wanted him to stay, turn down the biggest opportunity of his lifetime, continue being only your Jungwon. That part was tiny however; and you squashed down those bitter feelings. You were absolutely ecstatic for him, having been the one to even push him towards the auditions. Stayed up hours at night to watch him practice, seeing his confidence grow tremendously the weeks leading to that fateful day.

When he got accepted you both celebrated the great news. His parents held a dinner in his honor, and his family sat around the table, congratulating him and his accomplishment. At first you were happy for him, overflowing with joy that your best friend had passed the biggest audition of his life. But as the day got closer you had to hide your heart break, smiling despite the tears you shed at night. Knowing that he was going to leave you soon.

The night before he left for I-Land was the hardest one, cuddling into his side while you laid in his bed. The last time in a while you would be in his room like this, only the two of you and the quiet of the night. You didn't sleep the whole night, only savoring the feeling of Jungwon holding you tightly, the last night of him being yours. Your best friend. Your first love.

Your Jungwon.

For the first time in 5 years you were apart for longer than a couple weeks. During this time the flowers started to wilt. You were grateful, ecstatic. Of course you missed Jungwon terribly, tuning in every Friday to support him. Eyes watering every time you watched him perform , pride prevailing over any negative emotions you could have as he confidently took the stage. When it was revealed he had made the debut team you had wailed, preening at your best friend's accomplishment knowing that his hard work paid off.

When Jungwon came home to visit your feelings were gone. You didn't feel the twisting in your chest when you hugged him, tucking your face into the crook of his neck as you both cried. Pulling away to look him in the face your heart didn't flutter at his smile, you only relished in the feeling that your best friend was back.

You thought your feelings had wilted into piles of dust and blown away. Not having seen him for months of course that'd be normal. You had thought your feelings were gone for good when you started to see him more frequently and they still hadn't returned.

You were wrong.

"Are you okay bugs?" Snapping out of your daze you realized that Jungwon was standing directly in front of you, one hand cupping your face and concern in his eyes. You nodded your head, cursing yourself for being getting so distracted.

"I'm fine bunny." His eyes scanned your face once before he leaned back, letting his hand linger.

"You know I just worry about you sometimes." Dropping his hand to his side he turned dramatically, switching the topic and gesturing at the box office in front of us. His manager was there waiting for us, underneath the gigantic sign for the zoo. "But I knew that you missed the zoo since we haven't gone in a long time. So I actually convinced management to rent it out for us for 2 hours."

Practically leaping into his arms you wrapped your arms around his neck, a huge smile spreading across your face. "Thank you thank you thank you!" Pulling away you saw his facial expression mimicking yours, dimples proudly on display and bunny teeth prominent.

"Come on, let's go." You giggled as you grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the gate. After getting your wrist bands - just for the experience - you downloaded the digital map and headed into the zoo ecstatic for your day with Jungwon.

♤♠︎♤

"Come on bugs, just look at the snake." You shook your head vehemently, trying to yank your hand free. His fingers only tightened around you wrist as he attempted to convince you to look at the giant snake in the glass enclosure merely 3 feet away from where you stood.

"Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Jungwon." You whined out his name, refusing his outrageous request.

Snakes were definitely a no for you. Especially a boa constrictor that can grow up to 13 ft long. The one they held in the exhibit was only 5 ft, but it could always become bigger. What would even need to get that big? Any animal that needs to be 5+ ft is a menace to society, and only here for evil. You'd already catered to Jungwon enough in this godforsaken reptile and amphibian section. The frogs were cute, absolutely adorable with their big glassy eyes, hanging on to the glass. Lizards weren't a big deal either, some of them over 3 ft long, lazing about their enclosure, enjoying the surprisingly warm Seoul day.

"Isn't this supposed to be a special day for me? Why would you make me see a stupid snake? They don't even have arms, that's so weird and creepy." Jungwon let out a laugh before pulling you over to him, a squeal leaving your lips as your back met his chest, and his arms wrapped around you. At the slightest display of affection you stopped fighting him, feeling the vines squeezing around your heart painfully, before he started to walk forward and you remembered where you were. Fighting for your life.

You tried to plant your feet in the ground to prevent Jungwon from forcing you to see the snake, but he only lifted your feet from the ground as you cursed the stupid Be:Lift gyms. His manager stared in amusement from the corner, his phone out to record the two of you and undoubtably show it to the rest of the members.

Another loud squeal left your mouth as Jungwon brought you right in front of the glass enclosure, the snake was sitting in the corner but slowly started moving towards the two of you, as if you had fascinated it. You turned your head, placing it in the crook of Jungwon's neck as you squeezed your eyes tight. Ignoring the fear that coursed through your body knowing that the snake was only separated by a thin layer of plexiglass.

"Bugs just look." You only shook your head, "I promise the snake won't hurt you as long as I'm here okay? You know I'll always protect you." Jungwon's soft voice cut through the fear, and you sighed knowing that you were falling into another one of his traps. You turned your head while taking a deep breath before opening your eyes, being met with the face of the snake.

With Jungwon's constant flow of reassurance in your ear you took a good look at the snake. The snake was against the glass, falling back down before slithering up again. Its eyes were wide open and almost looked like doe eyes, black and glassy as it stared at you. The scales were a pretty pastel yellow, mixed with white, resembling a banana cow. You were so distracted admiring the snake that you both jumped when his manager suggested you should get along, and walk further into the park. You felt your heart clench painfully as Jungwon stepped away from you, a blush running up his neck and spreading over his cheeks as he quickly walked to the next exhibit not bothering to wait for you.

♤♠︎♤

"I think this is the best friend date we've ever had." Jungwon spoke happily as you two walked out of the zoo gift shop, a red fox panda stuffed animal tucked safely in your arms. His treat since he refused to let you pull out your wallet and purchase it for yourself. You chose to ignore the flutter of your heart and rush of heat at the thought of this being a true date, your mind decidedly ignoring the word 'friend'. Your cheeks ached as you smiled. They've started to hurt after the amount of time spent joking and laughing while visiting the animals.

"It was. I really appreciated it. I've missed you, it's been so long since we've been able to hang out like this." Jungwon nodded in agreement, an uncharacteristically shy smile spreading across your face.

"Come on. The nights still not over, I have one more surprise for you." Jungwon tossed his arm over your shoulder as he led you to the car, excitement and surprise as you thought about what he could potentially still have planned.

Being ever the gentleman he opened the door for you, waiting until you were safely inside to close it and join you. His manager turned on the radio as he drove you two to the next destination.

"Don't tell me we're going to have to walk again? My feet are still dying from the zoo." Jungwon let out a laugh as he grabbed your hand, rubbing his thumb over the back of it as he intertwined your fingers.

"We won't have to walk too much I promise. Just sit back and relax, it shouldn't take too long to get there." You nodded your head before quickly looking out of the window, no longer able to ignore it.

The vines grew in your chest, clenching painfully around your heart, writhing and squeezing like a boa constrictor trying to capture its prey, crawling up your throat making you resist the urge to gag. Lungs filling with petals that swirled and fluttered around with every breath until there were too many, leaving no room to move around, just clumping together as breathes became sickly. Until you could no longer resist the urge to cough.

The sound of you hacking and gagging, the sight of a worried Jungwon when the first petal comes out. Dark violet petals fluttering out with every spasm of your lungs, some full flowers with stems still attacked, coated with a thin layer of maroon liquid, staining the pretty petals and tinging your pink sweater with spots of red, the bitter taste of the flowers mixing with copper. Your throat sore as the taste of bile rose alongside the rest of the petals, finally emptying your lungs. Filling the car until there was no room to hide from it, hide from your feelings. Hide from the predicament that you were in, feelings for you best friend, the rookie idol.

How could you be so stupid to believe that you could hide it? You were always so easily exposed to Jungwon. He knew you better than you knew yourself. What if he already knew and was just biding his time before he left you, the thought of your feelings disgusting him, being too much for him? He could surely find another best friend, one who wouldn't fall for him.

But could that ever happen? Someone not falling for him. It's easy to fall for his eyes, chocolate eyes that always saw right through you. That knew when you weren't feeling good and were trying to hide it. Dark unruly hair, never easily tamed but was so silky when you ran your fingers through it. Despite being called bunny he practically purred whenever you did it, causing your face to burn at the feelings that always resurfaced. Caring nature that assured he'd become the leader of his group, always wanting to care for everyone around him and make sure that they were happy.

You don't think it'd ever be possible for someone to not fall for him.

"Are you okay bugs?" You blinked realizing that the car door was open, Jungwon standing in front of you with the same concerned look that made you feel ashamed, and yet warmed.

Glancing around you realized you had imagined the coughing fit, drowning in the sea of your own emotions and being buried under a mountain of petals. It was all in your imagination, hanahaki didn't exist. How could it? If it existed you would surely be dead.

Shaking your head you waved off the question, unbuckling your seatbelt and quickly hoping out of the van.

"Of course. I'm perfectly fine, just feeling a little tired I guess. Must've gotten lost in my thoughts. Anyway, where are we?" Jungwon raised a brow at your rambling, knowing you only did it when you were nervous before choosing to ignore it and grabbing your hand again. You hoped he couldn't feel how sweaty your palms were, nerves taking over you at the realization your feelings and thoughts had run away from you again.

"Well I wanted to do something really special for you," You shook your head before cutting Jungwon off.

"The zoo was perfect Jungwon, you don't have to do anything else. Today was perfect already." Jungwon shushed you as he led you into the building, his manager staying behind. Leading you to the elevators he pressed a button before getting on, waiting for the doors to close behind the both of you before he continued to speak.

"You've supported me throughout this whole journey. Pushing me to audition when I was too nervous, and didn't think that I would make it. When I got accepted into I-Land you supported me even when I was leaving you in the middle of the school year, texted me every night to let me know that you were watching and were always rooting for me. Knowing how proud I was making you when the thought of me debuting wasn't official helped me work harder, and continue to push myself," He got cut off as the elevator dinged, signaling that you were at your floor. Jungwon pulled you off the elevator towards a set of stairs that led to a door labeled roof. Jungwon turned towards you, his face deathly serious causing you to get a lot nervous at the sudden sober move.

"Before we go out there I just wanted to tell you that I am grateful that you are in my life. I wouldn't have been able to do any of this without you, constantly supporting me throughout everything. You are what has pushed me this far bugs, and I love you. You're my best friend and I owe you so much for constantly being there." You smiled, ignoring the pain in your chest. Of course he'd only think of you as his best friend, there's no way he'd see you as anything else.

"Of course Jungwon. You can't put it all on me, you worked hard to get to where you are. I'm proud of you because you constantly push yourself, not because you've been successful. You'll always be my Jungwon even if you wouldn't debuted with Enhypen, and I would've always been proud of you." Red dusted over Jungwon's cheeks as he smiled shyly, before opening the roof door and pushing you in front of him.

You were left speechless at the sight in front of you. Blankets laid out over the ground, picnic baskets placed in the middle to prevent the wind from blowing them away. Pastel pink flowers spread out being blown lightly by the wind but not leaving the roof. Fairy lights spread out emitting a soft golden glow barely recognizable under the setting sun. Clouds flitting over the pink, and orange sky. Adding on to the beautiful aesthetic of the set up.

What truly had your attention was the rest of his members standing around the blankets, signs being held out at arm's length. Their various expressions showed excitement, minus Niki who tried to look emotionally detached from the situation but was bouncing on his toes, practically jumping.

From tomorrow,

I'll protect you

All Day and Night

Now Lean on Me

Will you go out with me Bugs?

Hot tears pricked at your eyes, a thick lump in your throat growing. All of their expressions morphed into worry, Niki had even stopped bouncing on his toes, Heeseung glanced at Jungwon slight panic evident in his face. A loud sob left your mouth as you turned around and threw yourself onto Jungwon, tossing your arms around his neck. A nervous laugh left his mouth as he slid his around your waist, holding you almost protectively.

Jungwon pulled away from you, bringing his hands to cup your cheeks, attempting to wipe the river of tears away.

"These are happy tears right?" A weak smile spread across your lips, nodding slowly at him. Seeing his smile come back full force, dimples showing happily. Vines loosening around your heart for the first time in months, falling away as they disintegrated. Petals evaporating leaving behind only fresh air in your lungs, breathes flowing freely as you stared at Jungwon. Boba eyes staring back at you, only showing love. His thumbs stopped wiping as he leaned forward barely, glancing at your lips briefly.

"Can I kiss you?" You eagerly hummed, a soft yes being your answer.

Jungwon leaned forward, leaving space for you to back out if you were too overwhelmed. You met his lips, inciting cheers and groans from the members present, seeing their leader kissing his best friend. Your lips moved in sync, one more thing you guys did perfect together. You must admit, the taste of salt from your cheers, along with the dramatic cheers from his members did not make for the best first kiss experience. Especially for a first kiss that you had fantasized and imagined about for years.

Knowing that was only the first of many however, made it all the sweeter.

[snowiisu]

Random Jungkook doodle I did based on a BTS Universe story I read ages ago called Coffee and Petals which was basically the first BTS story I read which also kinda got me into BTS haha-

The story is based on the hanahaki disease and so I tried drawing something aesthetic! Not the best at drawing real people but hopefully it looks like Jungkook

[whale-minmin]

hanahaki – lee daehwi.

genre : angst, drabble

word count : 206

a/n : my first ever drabble and i absolutely love it! based on hanahaki disease au <3

Why don't you just love him back?

Why? Why did you need to break his heart and pick a complete stranger over someone who truly loves you? 

Daehwi kneeled to the floor, feeling the soft petals fill up his lungs. Soft, so delicate and fragile. Everything that Daehwi's love for you is. 

But you don't share the feeling. Despite him always being by your side, listening to your worries, softly singing you to sleep, doing everything for you,

you'll never love him back.

The petals will slowly take his breath away, trapping him in his own love. 

He should never have met you. Never looked into these beautiful eyes. Never fell for that smile that always made him feel butterflies in his stomach.

He changed his whole identity for you, only to be rejected and thrown away like a doll once you found someone new – someone better. But even if you threw him away, he still can't stop loving you. 

Not even if he tries. Not even if he tells himself he hates you with his whole heart, that he despises you. He still loves you. 

The flowers he once loved so much were now going to be the death of him. 

You killed him.

tag list :

@atiny-chocolate-chip @lmaoskz

[fave-bts-fics]

Orchis Italica

BY: orphan_account

SHIP: YOONKOOK

WORD COUNT: 4918

CHAPTERS: 1

STATUS: COMPLETE

RATING: TEEN AND UP

SUMMARY:

Jeon Jungkook.

It couldn't have been anyone else. Yoongi just knew it. He'd been fucked from the start. The moment that kid walked through the door was the moment fate kicked him in the ass.

a.k.a Min Yoongi is coughing up tiny purple men with tiny purple dicks and he just doesn't know anymore.

NOTE: For anyone who's curious, this is an orchis italica-

Yes. It's a real flower.

[wolfcocoa]

Hanahaki Disease [Seoksoon; SEVENTEEN]

IMPORTANTE: Este one-shot es capítulo único.

Shipp: Seoksoon

Fandom: SEVENTEEN (kpop)

Esta basado en la enfermedad de Hanahaki; una enfermedad que provoca el crecimiento de plantas o flores en los pulmones de una persona que esta enamorada y no puede declararse o no es correspondida. La persona tose los pétalos de la flor favorita de la persona que ama. En el peor de los casos la persona puede morir.

Solo existen dos posibles curas: La primera es que la persona sea correspondida de verdad (que los sentimientos sean reales y mutuos) y que la pareja poco a poco saque los pétalos de los pulmones con la fuerza de su amor. Y la segunda opción es que los pulmones de la persona sean operados, pero esto significaría extraer los tallos y todas las emociones de la persona, por lo que esta ya no podrá enamorarse ni sentir ninguna otra emoción mas adelante.

Narrador Omnisciente | Leer desde el lado de Seokmin.

Cada vez que despertaba en la mañana solo tardaba unos segundos en sentir el dolor. Una masa en su pecho que crecía hacía afuera con la fuerza suficiente para arrancar un suspiro que siempre terminaba en tos. Le dolía, y dolía como el infierno, pero no era un dolor que quisiera que desapareciera solo así. Tenía dos posibles opciones, curarse o... Curarse. Y ninguna de las dos le convencía lo suficiente como para dejar que el dolor desapareciera.

Sonaba como un idiota cada vez que iba al medico para sacar grandes tallos de amapola y estos le planteaban sus opciones una y otra vez. Seokmin ya no encontraba mas palabras para decirles que aunque su deseo era curarse, no podía hacerlo. Ver la cara de las enfermeras cuando lo veían toser sangre se había convertido en su pasatiempo favorito.

Esa mañana, había comenzado a toser después de que la primera hora comenzara y este tuviera que correr al baño para evitar interrumpir a la profesora.

—Amigo, eso parece doloroso. —dijo Hansol tocando su espalda. Lo había seguido al baño cuando lo vio correr así, sabía a que iba y nuevamente haría un intento por convencerlo. —Deberías solo ir y decirle lo que sientes. Odio ver que sufres por amor.

Seokmin negó tomando un poco de agua del lavabo para enjuagar su boca, y justo después hizo una seña para que este se fuera a clases. Seokmin se sentía muy avergonzado como para verlo a la cara, pero cuando lo intentó soltó un pétalo que hizo a Hansol presionar sus labios y mirar hacía otro lado. Parecía molesto.

—No pierdes nada. Eres una buena persona, solo hazte notar.

¿Decirle a Soonyoung que lo amaba? Podría si no estuviera siempre rodeado de sus amigos. Podría si tan solo pudiera hablar con él sin tartamudear. Podría si no fuera el mayor cobarde que había pisado la tierra.

La sensación asfixiante en su garganta lo hizo tratar de tomar una bocanada de aire, pero apenas abrió su boca comenzó a toser sin parar hasta que, cansado, terminó en el suelo con un fuerte dolor en el pecho. ¿Valía la pena sufrir tanto por amor?

Estiró su mano para alcanzar su mochila y sacar su teléfono. Tenía que llamar a alguien para que lo llevara a casa. No podía seguir en la escuela si tosía como perro viejo y despedía pétalos de amapola como si sus pulmones las fabricaran a propósito. “Amapolas” soltó una risita al pensarlo. “¿Te gustan tanto las amapolas? ¿Que pensarías de ellas si las vieras salir de mi garganta acompañadas de sangre? ¿Te gustarían igual?”

Los pensamientos irónicos le ayudaban a sobrellevar el dolor. Se sentó apoyado en la pared para tratar de calmarse antes de marcar cualquier número, tenía que parecer lo mas normal hasta que saliera de la escuela o alguien mas se enteraría de su situación y lo menos que necesitaba ahora era que la gente rumoreara sobre su condición y su amor imposible.

Las risas en la entrada del baño seguido de una voz característica lo hicieron alarmarse. Trató de levantarse pero al estar finalmente de pie tuvo un mareo que lo hizo tambalearse.

—¡Wow! Oye, cuidado... ¿Estas bien? —dijo Soonyoung quien había llegado y justo lo había visto tambalearse.

Seokmin lo miró a los ojos y luego vio sus manos tocándolo para ayudar a que no perdiera el equilibrio. Eso no era bueno, sentía que una gran saga de tos se aproximaba a toda velocidad por su garganta y si despedía un pétalo descubriría su condición. Se soltó de su agarre con fuerza y tratando de huir terminó golpeándose contra la pared al sentir el dolor en su pecho que lo hizo caer al suelo de nuevo.

Soonyoung fue en su búsqueda y asustado gritó con fuerza que alguien viniera o que llamara a una ambulancia.

“No, por favor... “ pensó rogándole al cielo, pero era tarde. En el suelo la primera tos le hizo sacar el pedazo de un pétalo rojo acompañado de un hilo de sangre que asustó a Soonyoung. La segunda tos, mas fuerte que la anterior, apareció sacando de su pecho un pétalo completo y bastante característico.

Soonyoung lo tomó y lo observó unos segundos, luego pasó su mirada sobre Seokmin frunciendo los labios.

—Tranquilo, alguien vendrá enseguida... ¡AYUDA! —gritó con mas fuerza. Seokmin sintió su mundo derrumbarse al haberse visto expuesto de esa forma.

“Odio las amapolas... “ pensó mientras sus lagrimas caían de sus ojos. No sabía si por la vergüenza o por la fuerza de su tos pero sentía la cara ardiendo. “Quizas si te gustara una flor con un pétalo mas pequeño no estaría sufriendo así, Soonyoung... Pero a quien engaño, tu no eres así, tu eres una persona extraordinaria con gustos extraordinarios. Simplemente eres perfecto”.

Después de una charla menor consigo mismo en su cabeza y los múltiples autoreproches a su nula capacidad para poder expresarse. Su vista se nublo haciendo que en pocos segundos sus ojos se perdieran en la oscuridad y así  lo último que viera antes de desmayarse fuera la preciosa cara preocupada de la persona que amaba. ¿Era afortunado o desafortunado?

Siete horas después el sonido de un goteo y algunas maquinas lo despertaron. Abrió los ojos y lo primero que vio fue a su madre hablando con su doctor y su psiquiatra.

“Eso no puede ser bueno. “ meditó al ver el suspiro que pasó por su pecho y luego sintió como si algo le impidiera llamar su atención. Probablemente ambos doctores ya le habrían dicho sobre su condición y sus padres lo obligarían a tomar una decisión.

—Trata de no moverte. — escuchó a su izquierda la voz de Hansol quien le tomó la mano cuando este giró su cabeza. —Los doctores te pusieron un sedante y estas conectando a una maquina para poder respirar.

Seokmin cerró los ojos al escuchar la preocupación en su voz.

No quería preocuparlo, por eso jamas le había dicho en que nivel estaba su enfermedad. Sentía que podía seguir con la rutina de sacar los tallos sin extraer sus emociones, pero al ver la enorme maquina gris subiendo y bajando en la esquina sintió que eso había llegado muy lejos.

—Tres años, Seokmin, tres años viviendo con esto. —le reprochó. —Tres años vomitando tu amor por una persona con la que jamas has hablado, cortando tallos de tus pulmones cuando sabes perfectamente que cortarlos solo los multiplica. Tres años soportando el peso de un amor que no sabes que será o no correspondido. Tres años ocultando lo que sientes incluso de mi, ¿No se supone que soy tu mejor amigo?

Seokmin dejó caer una lagrima que le recorrió toda la mejilla derecha hasta perderse al final de su cuello. Lo lamentaba con el corazón.

Si no tuviera un tubo en su garganta le diría que lo sentía, que era su mejor amigo, que sí confiaba en él y que necesitaba su ayuda. Aunque para ser honestos, las oportunidades se le habían acabado.

—Tu madre va a firmar un formulario donde te declararan temporalmente... —Hansol se detuvo y giró su vista hacía el otro lado. Seokmin terminó su oración en su cabeza “¿Loco?” eso era lo mejor que podían hacer si querían operarlo de una vez y evitar que muriera. —Te declararan una persona incapaz de tomar sus propias decisiones y así extraer los tallos de tus pulmones.

Seokmin levantó su mano en su dirección para alcanzar la de él y Hansol rápidamente correspondió el gesto. Sus ojos quedaron fijos en los del otro e inevitablemente ambos comenzaron a llorar.

Sería la última vez que Seokmin podría entender sus sentimientos, después de la operación no podrían volver a divertirse, no podrían abrazarse con el mismo amor que se tenían, Seokmin no sentiría la competitividad de Hansol al quererlo superar en la universidad y Hansol ya no podría hacer mas que acompañarlo.

Hansol acarició su mano y susurró algo que quebró completamente al mayor.

—Seré tu mejor amigo en las buenas y en las malas.

Después de esto, el rubio salió por la puerta y se despidió de la madre de Seokmin con un abrazo. Los dos voltearon a verlo y le hicieron un gesto para decirle que volvería pronto, solo acompañaría al menor a tomar un taxi para que regresara a casa y ella estaría ahí de nuevo.

Seokmin sintió un dolor muy fuerte en su pecho al verse y sentirse solo. Quizas si le hubiera dicho lo que sentía a Soonyoung hace dos años cuando aun estaban en la misma aula no estaría sufriendo ahora. ¿O sí?

Mientras navegaba en su mente entre el dolor y las nauseas, la puerta de su habitación se abrió y unos pasos livianos se acercaron a él. Seokmin no miró, imaginó que se trataba de su madre y no quería verla sufrir por él. Así que esperó a que esta comenzara a regañarle o siquiera le dedicara una mirada de decepción.

—¿Por qué jamas me dijiste que me amabas? —la voz de Soonyoung lo asustó y lo hizo voltear casi al instante.

Se quedó parado a su lado. Vestía una camisa rosa y un pantalón negro que se veía perfecto en él. Seokmin sintió su corazón latir con fuerza, casi con la fuerza suficiente como para que tuviera la oportunidad de salir de su cuerpo.

Ambos intercambiaron una mirada profunda hasta que Soonyoung recorrió la habitación y vio una silla a su lado del otro lado de la cama donde pudiera acomodarse. Dejó la bolsa que traía consigo y tomó su mano cuando se sentó.

—Hansol me llamó hace unas horas y me contó todo. —dijo este mientras lo acariciaba. —No quise creerlo cuando vi los pétalos de amapola salir de tu boca, iba a decírtelo, pero luego pensé que quizas habría otra persona que gustara de las amapolas.

Seokmin lo vio con ternura. Él era así, ingenuo, pero aunque tuviera las respuestas en su cara todavía prefería cerciorase de la respuesta.

—Sabes, en segundo año yo estaba enamorado de ti... —Soonyoung sonrió y miró al suelo. —Comencé a toser orquídeas moradas. Sentía cosquilleo en la garganta y pensaba ¿Cosquilleo, así es como se siente amar a Lee Seokmin? Luego vino el dolor y mi primera operación para cortar los tallos fue una semana después. Sé que no se deben cortar porque los multiplica, pero... En ese momento me pareció lo mejor.

Seokmin había comenzado a llorar de nuevo. Había desperdiciado su oportunidad y la forma en la que se presentaba hoy era su karma.

—Tuve seis operaciones para cortar los tallos y hace unos días se me presentó la opción de cortarlos de raíz pero me negué, y ahora esto... Lo cambia todo. —Soonyoung levantó la vista y miró a Seokmin con una sonrisa y los ojos llorosos. —¿Orquídeas, en serio? Te gusta una flor muy fea.

Una risita provocó que los dos entrelazaran sus manos y se vieran por primera vez con amor mutuo.

—Si aun no es muy tarde para decidir, yo quiero amarte. Si me dejas hacerlo prometo cuidar de ti por el resto de mi vida para sacar los tallos que nos queden en los pulmones y curar las cicatrices que nos queden después. —Soonyoung se acercó a su rostro lo suficiente para chocar su frente contra la suya pero con el cuidado necesario para evitar golpear el tubo.

“Y yo prometo cuidar de ti por el resto de mi vida para curar las heridas que esas malditas operaciones dejaron en ti, prometo hacer de ti una persona feliz que viva con el amor que merece. Prometo proteger tu sonrisa y vivir solamente dedicado al amor que veremos florecer. “como si se trataran de votos matrimoniales, los dos cerraron los ojos y esperaron a que llegara la madre de Seokmin para decirles que ya no necesitaba la operación.

Los dos estaban conscientes de que las heridas de Seokmin eran profundas, que no se curaría solo con su amor por el tiempo que habían dejado pasar, pero estaban dispuestos a luchar contra ello y seguir adelante.

[Historia Seoksoon, SEVENTEEN. Creado por jang.zzzz | prohibida su copia o adaptación sin los permisos requeridos de la autora]

[saranimeme]

The Rose’s Dojoon with Hanahaki disease,,, See you Dojoon :(

[kkookies]

fallin flower

— xu minghao

“ and he was stuck, falling in love with the same girl over and over. flowers bloomed inside of him, yet he was unable to escape the chains of unrequited love ” - a quote describing the entrapment of the hanahaki disease