#konrad der daumenlutscher

[justice-for-jacob-marley]

The Struwwel kids are singing All Star by Smash Mouth

Who started it?

Philip Lehmann

Who joined first?

Kaspar Fuchs

Who is singing a parody of the lyrics?

Paulinchen Meyer

Who convinced someone to join?

Hans Schuster

Who had to be convinced to join?

Friederich Wagner

Who is disgusted?

Peter Hoffmann

Who left?

Konrad Zimmermann

[incorrectoldgermanstoriesquotes]

Konrad: There's this book Mom reads to me every night called The Giving Tree. It's a really good book, but the back of it has a picture of the author, this guy named Shel Silverstein. But Shel Silverstein looks more like a burglar or a pirate than a guy who should be writing books for children. (later) Konrad's mother: If you get out of bed tonight, you'll probably run into Shel Silverstein in the hallway.

[pollsonmorenichetopics]

Disproportionate Retribution Poll Round 2 Side B:

Konrad's/Daumenlutscher's (Der Struwwelpeter) Disproportionate Retribution:

"Like pretty much every kid in this German piece of literature, the MC misbehaves.

He sucks on his thumb when his mother tells him not to.

So the Scissorman comes over and cuts his thumbs off."

Danny Fenton's (Danny Phantom) Disproportionate Retribution:

"He cheated on a test and as a result his entire family, all his friends, and the one teacher who genuinely cared about him died in a fast food explosion. He was adopted by his greatest enemy, who he convinced to separate the ghost and human halves of himself to try and lessen the pain, which in retrospect feels a lot like a form of assisted suicide for people who are already dead.

His ghost half killed the human half, fused with his enemy's ghost half, and used their combined power to destroy the entire world. His current fate is indefinite imprisonment in a container the size of a soup thermos. Because he cheated on a test."

"Crime: Cheated on an ungraded test

Punishment: LITERALLY ALL OF HIS FAMILY AND FRIENDS ARE KILLED (during a parent teacher meeting at a fast food restaurant?), he's forcibly adopted by his "rival" (aka the adult man who has repeatedly tortured this 14 year old because he wants to kill Danny's dad and marry his mom) only to have his literal humanity ripped out of him- his ghost fuses with his enemy's ghost half, turns evil, and then VIOLENTLY KILLS HUMAN DANNY (and then destroys the entire world)

Sounds excessive? Yeah! Sure, it could just be tragic coincidences so far, but stick with me. We're going to reset the timeline, we can make this better, right???:

TIMELINE 2:

Crime: THOUGHT ABOUT cheating on an UNGRADED test

Punishment: The Master of Time sends ghosts from the future to ASSASSINATE HIM, then is sent to EXECUTE DANNY HIMSELF (BECAUSE CHEATING ON THE TEST IS THE DIRECT CAUSE OF THE END OF THE WORLD APPARENTLY), but then he THROWS DANNY TEN YEARS INTO THE FUTURE OF THE PREVIOUS TIMELINE TO BE FACED WITH HIS ABSOLUTE WORST FEARS MADE REAL: the entire world was ended by HIM, everyone he's ever loved is DEAD, he was told of everything that happened in this timeline including the forcible adoption and his own death at his own ghost's hands, evil future ghost him TORTURES HIM AND TAKES AWAY HIS ONLY MEANS OF GOING HOME, THEN REPLACES HIM AND TRIES TO MURDER HIS FAMILY to ensure the bad future! Meanwhile Danny is being pummeled by the future versions of his rogues gallery because they think he's the evil version that destroyed their afterlives. Anyway he makes it back eventually (after his rival RIPS THE THING TRAPPING HIM OUT OF HIS CHEST WITH A DEVICE THAT COULD KILL HIM) and his family been captured by this impostor wearing his face, and after fighting for his life he finds out he was too late and HAS TO WATCH EVERYONE HE'S EVER LOVED EXPLODE RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM. Of course then the Master of Time shows up, says it was all a lesson, then resets the timeline to before the test again, leaving Danny with all the memories of what happened to traumatize him into confessing he willingly "stole" the test answers (which he didn't even do, they ended up in his possession due to an accident that only happened BECAUSE HE WAS DEFENDING HIMSELF FROM ONE OF THE FUTURE GHOSTS SENT TO KILL HIM) because he was fully intending to cheat on the test (again, false- his friends accuse and berate him for planning to cheat before he even considered it, which he later only thought about seemingly because he was already being treated as a criminal and he had no time to study since he was busy DEFENDING HIMSELF FROM GHOSTS SENT TO KILL HIM SUPPOSEDLY TO PREVENT THIS SITUATION), because of course that's a proportionate response

Why it's over the top: In what world is physical and psychological torture, kidnapping, repeated attempted murder, permanently traumatizing a child, making them absolutely terrified of themself and setting them up to be their own worst fear, and MORE a reasonable response to ANYTHING, much less a 14 year old kid (who just wants to keep people safe) accidentally acquiring the answer key to an ungraded test?!"

[justice-for-jacob-marley]

Does this mean I get to be roommates with the other four, too? :D

roommates game!! inspired by someone on tik tok

the last four fictional characters in your camera roll are your new roommates

tag: @sofi-yeager @jaegerbombb @eremiie and anyone who wants to. i wanna see who y’all roommates would be lmao

[violettduchess]

For @joiedecombat because she asked for it:

Der Struwwelpeter is a collection of children's stories by Heinrich Hoffmann published in 1875.

The stories:

Struwwelpeter describes a boy who does not groom himself properly and is consequently unpopular.

Die Geschichte vom bösen Friederich ("The Story of Wicked Frederick"): A violent boy terrorizes animals and people. Eventually he is bitten by a dog, who goes on to eat the boy's food while Frederick is bedridden.

Die gar traurige Geschichte mit dem Feuerzeug ("The Very Sad Tale with the Matches"): A girl plays with matches, accidentally ignites herself and burns to death.

Die Geschichte von den schwarzen Buben ("The Story of the Inky Boys"): Nikolas (or "Agrippa" in some translations) catches three boys teasing a dark-skinned boy. To teach them a lesson, he dips them in black ink.

Die Geschichte von dem wilden Jäger ("The Story of the Wild Huntsman") is the only story not primarily focused on children. In it, a hare steals a hunter's musket and eyeglasses and begins to hunt the hunter. In the ensuing chaos, the hare's child is burned by hot coffee and the hunter falls into a well.

Die Geschichte vom Daumenlutscher ("The Story of the Thumb-Sucker"): A mother warns her son Konrad not to suck his thumbs. However, when she goes out of the house he resumes his thumb-sucking, until a roving tailor appears and cuts off his thumbs with giant scissors.

Die Geschichte vom Suppen-Kaspar ("The Story of Soup-Kaspar") begins as Kaspar (or "Augustus" in some translations), a healthy, strong boy, proclaims that he will no longer eat his soup. Over the next five days, he wastes away and dies.

Die Geschichte vom Zappel-Philipp ("The Story of Fidgety Philip"): A boy who won't sit still at dinner accidentally knocks all of the food onto the floor, to his parents' great displeasure.

Die Geschichte von Hans Guck-in-die-Luft ("The Story of Johnny Look-In-The-Air") concerns a boy who habitually fails to watch where he's walking. One day he walks into a river; he is soon rescued, but his writing-book drifts away.

Die Geschichte vom fliegenden Robert ("The Story of Flying Robert"): A boy goes outside during a storm. The wind catches his umbrella and lifts him high into the air. The story ends with the boy sailing into the distance.

[medicalxsciencelangblr-blog]

The Disturbing Parts of Culture: German Fairytales

Everyone knows by now how disturbing the original Disney stories were but what about the tales that Disney found a bit too short or a bit too disturbing to make into movies, German fairytales, keep in mind these are meant for children. Let’s start with ‘Die Geschichte vom Daumenlutscher’ or ‘The Story of Little Suck-a-Thumb‘ which may sound okay but then you read it

“"Konrad!" sprach die Frau Mamma, "Ich geh aus und du bleibst da. Sei hübsch ordentlich und fromm. Bis nach Hause ich wieder komm' Und vor allem, Konrad, hör! Lutsche nicht am Daumen mehr; Denn der Schneider mit der Scher' Kommt sonst ganz geschwind daher, Und die Daumen schneidet er Ab, als ob Papier es wär'." Fort geht nun die Mutter und Wupp! den Daumen in den Mund. Bauz! Da geht die Türe auf, Und herein in schnellem Lauf Springt der Schneider in die Stub' Zu dem Daumen-Lutscher-Bub. Weh! Jetzt geht es klipp und klapp Mit der Scher' die Daumen ab, Mit der großen scharfen Scher'! Hei! Da schreit der Konrad sehr. Als die Mutter kommt nach Haus, Sieht der Konrad traurig aus. Ohne Daumen steht er dort, Die sind alle beide fort.”

If you can’t read German here is the rough translation

“One day, Mamma said, "Conrad dear, I must go out and leave you here. But mind now, Conrad, what I say, Don't suck your thumb while I'm away. The great tall tailor always comes To little boys that suck their thumbs. And ere they dream what he's about He takes his great sharp scissors And cuts their thumbs clean off, - and then You know, they never grow again." Mamma had scarcely turn'd her back, The thumb was in, alack! alack! The door flew open, in he ran, The great, long, red-legged scissorman. Oh! children, see! the tailor's come And caught our little Suck-a-Thumb.  Snip! Snap! Snip! the scissors go; And Conrad cries out - Oh! Oh! Oh! Snip! Snap! Snip! They go so fast; That both his thumbs are off at last. Mamma comes home; there Conrad stands, And looks quite sad, and shows his hands;- "Ah!" said Mamma "I knew he'd come To naughty little Suck-a-Thumb."”

So basically, if you are over infancy and you suck your thumb, a man will burst through your window and cut off your thumbs. Let me repeat. A MAN WILL BURST THROUGH YOUR WINDOW AND CUT OFF YOUR THUMBS. This is for a child, I came from a part Polish and part German family, and if you have met a German grandma you know they gave up caring like seven years before her first child was born. So when I heard this story along with Krampus, I haven’t slept since I was like five. So if you are learning German fairytales have fun, here’s a website for them ----|> http://www.germanstories.vcu.edu/struwwel/struwwel.html

[justice-for-jacob-marley]

Struwwelpeter-themed valentine cards- complete with images from the movie. 

You’re free to use these, just credit me if you do.

[incorrectoldgermanstoriesquotes]

Philip: Ducks are better than rabbits. Konrad: What? Rabbits are adorable. Have you ever been in a fight with a duck? Ducks are jerks. Kaspar: Duck is delicious! Rabbit is all gamey. Konrad: We’re not talking about flavor, Kaspar! Kaspar: Flavor counts! Konrad: Who carries around a duck’s foot for good luck? Anyone? Hans: You wrap yourself in a comforter stuffed with rabbit hair. I’ll wrap myself in a comforter stuffed with duck feathers! Who’s cozier? Konrad: Okay, but- Hans: NO, NO, NO, NO. WHO’S COZIER? Kaspar: Then why don’t we take a rabbit, a duck, stick ‘em in a cardboard box and let them fight it out! Konrad: BECAUSE IT’S ILLEGAL, KASPAR! Kaspar: ONLY IF WE BET ON IT, KONRAD! Philip: I- Jesus-

[incorrectoldgermanstoriesquotes]

{The Hunter gets out of bed and proceeds to the bathroom, where Peter is standing by the sink, having already prepared a toothbrush with toothpaste for him.}

The Hunter: Why, thank you, Peter.

{Later, he proceeds to the table, and, as it turns out, Friederich is standing by the table with a cup of coffee, a glass of water, and a plate of eggs and sausage patties in front of him.}

The Hunter: Friederich! You fixed breakfast! How sweet.

{Paulinchen puts the Hunter's bathrobe on him, over his pajamas.}

The Hunter: Thanks, Paulinchen. It's a bit drafty in here.

{The Hunter sits down in his chair. Konrad brings him the paper and a pair of bunny slippers.}

The Hunter: Uh, thank you, Konrad.

{As the Hunter is reading the paper and wearing the slippers, Kaspar brings him a bowl of popcorn while Philip pushes the television closer. Hans is holding two flowers while Robert is holding a coffee pot and coffee mug. The Hunter's suspicions have grown to where he needs to voice them.}

The Hunter: By the way, kids, this attention wouldn't have anything to do with Christmas coming up, would it?

Robert: I just ground this coffee with my fists.

[incorrectoldgermanstoriesquotes]

Konrad: (Playing in the yard, climbs onto a rock) The legendary adventurer, Konrad, scales the mighty mountain with ease! (Walks through the garden) He nana-gates -

Friederich: Navigates.

Konrad: Navigates the deadly rainforest! (Comes to a stream of water flowing out of the garden hose) But how will he cross the raging river?

Friederich: (Blocks the stream of water with his foot)

Konrad: The raging river has stopped! It's a mirror-nickel!

Friederich: Miracle.

Konrad: It's a miracle!

[incorrectoldgermanstoriesquotes]

Konrad: I drew you a picture of a flower for Mother's Day.

Konrad's mother: That's so sweet! Thank you!

Kaspar: I made you this clay paper clip dish.

Kaspar's mother: That's so precious! Thank you!

Philip: I cleaned my room.

Philip's mother: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Philip's father: I drew you a picture of a flower.

Philip's mother: Nice try. Nordstrom opens in an hour.

[incorrectoldgermanstoriesquotes]

Konrad's mother: (sleeping)

Konrad: (standing by her bedside) *ahem*

Konrad's mother: (wakes up with a start) YAHHH!

Konrad: Good morning, Mom! Guess what? It's the Christmas season! (Turns around) And I'm gonna be nice to you... (Leaves the room) so that the Christkindl will bring yours truly lots of stuff! (Comes back into the room with a plate of bacon and eggs) Here's breakfast in... (Trips, sending the bacon and eggs flying into his mother's face) Oops! (Lifts up a fried egg from off his mother's eye, grins awkwardly) Uh, let's keep this our little secret, okay?

[pollsonmorenichetopics]

Disproportionate Retribution Poll Round 1 Side B:

Violet Beauregarde's (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) Disproportionate Retribution:

"Crime: Chewing gum she wasn't supposed to

Punishment: Turning into a human blueberry, publicly humiliated with a catchy song explaining her moral failings, and disqualified from the factory tour.

Defense: For receiving the most iconic punishment out of the four, I am submitting Violet on behalf of the four failed contestants, as all were punished on basically the same moral grounds -- being mildly annoying makes you a Bad Kid worthy of any punishment the authority sees fit for you, and the only way to succeed is by being a Good Kid who follows all the rules. The older I get the less I like this book."

Konrad's/Daumenlutscher's (Der Struwwelpeter) Disproportionate Retribution:

"Like pretty much every kid in this German piece of literature, the MC misbehaves.

He sucks on his thumb when his mother tells him not to.

So the Scissorman comes over and cuts his thumbs off."

[justice-for-jacob-marley]

I posted 904 times in 2022

63 posts created (7%)

841 posts reblogged (93%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@creativemercinary

@sidetable-drawer

@nalascat

@emptyspace2001

@supermacaroniandsqueezeblr

I tagged 100 of my posts in 2022

#struwwelpeter - 35 posts

#suppenkaspar - 20 posts

#struwwelpeter redemption au - 15 posts

#paulinchen - 12 posts

#böse friederich - 12 posts

#konrad der daumenlutscher - 9 posts

#au - 8 posts

#zappelphilip - 7 posts

#soupy kaspar - 7 posts

#maunz die katze - 6 posts

Longest Tag: 126 characters

#and also the fact that 71 fans in the past spewed hate constantly towards the 2005 film and 2005 fans has not helped me either

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

See the full post

7 notes - Posted April 18, 2022

#4

See the full post

9 notes - Posted March 29, 2022

#3

Why do all three of these duos give me the same friend group vibes? 

See the full post

15 notes - Posted October 14, 2022

#2

It seems that most (I repeat, MOST, not all) fans of Struwwelpeter only come to Tumblr to talk about how messed up the book is or how it traumatized them, or that sort of thing... 

Why can’t Struwwelpeter have an actual fandom? You know, with fanfiction and art and roleplaying and all the other components of fandom?

15 notes - Posted June 21, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I never thought that this is how I’d enter the Encanto fandom, but I just love the idea of Julieta, Pepa and Bruno as children being sibling goals. 

39 notes - Posted April 28, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[justice-for-jacob-marley]

My Struwwelpeter ships:

Peter x Konrad

Friederich x Paulinchen

Kaspar x Hans

Philip x Robert

[justice-for-jacob-marley]

Struwwelpeter headcanons (based on the movie)

The children didn’t truly know each other until the end of the movie.

Right before the scene we see at the end of the movie, their parents took them to Nikolas’s house. The scene is set during the Christmas season, which in Germany would consist of the four weeks of Advent until the 24th (correct me if I’m wrong).

We see the unnamed woman and her son from the beginning of the book walking onto the scene first because they want to be role models to the others.

The Inky Boys were honestly being cut a little slack, in my opinion, as after the events of the film they were banished from the group.

Colin (the unnamed dark-skinned boy) wanted to join the group, but he’s very shy. He still shows up from time to time, though.

Robert actually picked up his umbrella after the events of the film and kept it, even though he no longer uses it in really heavy storms- his parents are fine with little drizzles.

Philip still owns his stick horse and loves it.

The hare hopped off into the woods with his new cabbage. He is a wild animal, after all.

Konrad’s thumbs came back -you guessed it -because of Nikolas. Nikolas decided to give him a second chance- if he ever sucks his thumbs again, they’ll be gone for good. Gladly, Kon has vowed to not suck his thumbs evermore!

Paulinchen wasn’t playing around when she backed up from that sparkler! Fire gives her the creeps now.

Minz and Maunz still have their catnip mousies.

Hans no longer looks at the sky while he’s walking, but he does when he’s lying on his back and relaxing, on, say, a towel or a lounge chair. And yes, he loves that piano a lot.

Seeing Kaspar walk up to Nikolas while finishing a bowl of soup just tells all: he loves soup, he always has, and he always will. But I’m sure he enjoyed those candies Nikolas gave him very much, too.

The sausages Nikolas gave Tray were, of course, liverwursts.

Friederich was very worried about his punishment, and that’s why he came next to last. He also believes he and the Christkind are on very rocky terms, so he didn’t know what she was going to think of him becoming a good person. He didn’t even think she was going to believe it.

Peter took a long time to get himself all nice and neat. That’s why he came last.

After the events of the movie, Nikolas let the children free to do whatever they wanted. So they introduced themselves to each other. They then met up many times after that event and eventually became close-knit friends. So I guess you have Nikolas to thank for their friendship.