#kokoro-writes

[lightshiningforth]

The two most important girls in Undine’s life having the same color palette makes me feral (complimentary).

[oshiawaseni]

Between BkDk, which of them knows they're in love with the other?

A question was asked: Is it just one, is it both, or is it neither? This is my reasoning behind why I think that both of them have realised their romantic feelings for the other.

I'll start with Izuku’s side first, as he is the veteran.

Izuku's been sitting on his feelings for quite some time and repressing them as much as he can, simply just knowing these feelings… exist. Izuku has always loved Kacchan, but I'm talking specifically about the moment he realised what kind of love it was.

I think the moment that really did Izuku in was witnessing the growth in Katsuki's heroic heart for the very first time, during his team's battle in the Joint Training arc. Shiny eyes watched Kacchan's newly perfected teamwork as he fought the opposition while protecting his team and allowing them to cover for him in return.

This change in Katsuki was his heart becoming more like Izuku's, in his efforts to become the top hero that cares about saving and winning equally. He no longer looked down on the action of saving a person, so he no longer looked down on what it meant to be saved by others either. I think this really cast him in a new light for Izuku.

Kirishima: "But it's true it might be the first time we've ever seen him do something like this." (Katsuki protecting others)

As well as planting a seed foreshadowing Bakugou Katsuki Rising, Hori placed the speech bubble over a very bare panel of Izuku watching Kacchan for two reasons: Emphasis that Izuku was also seeing Kacchan's character growth for the first time, and to imply that the change in Katsuki's character that Monoma had just been yelling about was, in large part, influenced by Izuku himself.

The paneling is so genius. It seemed insignificant enough to be ignored by Bones, yet it says so much more than all other panels because it tells a story of the piece in Katsuki that had been missing their whole lives, it’s simplistic emptiness conveying the beauty Izuku saw in him finding it. If Katsuki was changing, maybe Izuku was, too... and this panel was the start of Izuku's admiration evolving into something more romantic.

Izuku watching Katsuki's heroism was an incredibly important moment for them and puts Izuku's view of love in ch.348 into some more context. Because chapter 208 was Katsuki definitely... undeniably sharing Izuku's heart. RIGHT AFTER sending his thoughts to Izuku: "Just keep your eyes on me, shitty Deku!"

".......If it responds to my feelings, at that time, I..."

And not long after JT, we get these unfinished thoughts about WHY Black Whip was triggered and Izuku has been hush about his inner thoughts on Katsuki ever since. (Other than telling Kacchan he doesn't mind being called Deku, if it's too hard to call him Izuku.)

The reason Izuku's emotions were so deeply triggered that day is because Monoma reminded him of the pain he saw in Katsuki's face when he cried to him about ending All Might in DvK2.

The recent anime ending further backs this theory during a montage of Izuku running away from the significant memories he has with his friends. This memory is a very important one to Izuku.

When Monoma triggered him, Izuku felt Katsuki's suffering on a personal level. His precious Kacchan, who had cried to him with that face, had fallen under attack, so by extension, Izuku was being attacked too. That day, Izuku discovered how very protective he is over him. (see also: "Give him back to me!")(see also: Kacchan getting hurt "because of me" to save Izuku was the Vigilante arc catalyst) (see also: Vol 37 Cover Art)

During his Bakugou Katsuki Rising chapter/episode, Kacchan too felt an immense amount of empathy with Izuku, because he refers to the moment he was about to lose Izuku as being "at death's door." Not specifying it was Izuku's death, but death in general. Izuku feels Katsuki's pain. Katsuki feels Izuku's pain. And this attunement with one another makes them both feel immensely protective over each other. Amazing.

So... Izuku has just figured out his feelings... and when asked directly by Kacchan, he runs away from giving him a concrete answer because he doesn't want to upset him with the love and overprotectiveness he feels for Kacchan inside his heart. At this point in the story, Izuku still feels somewhat disliked by him and is scared of Katsuki's potential harsh rejection. I'm sure he was thinking something like "Better to omit the truth and not cause anyone pain." No pain for Kacchan, no pain for him. Hedgehogs can't get hurt if they never lie close to each other, right?

＊* .•° ✿ °•. ❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。 ೋღ

With Katsuki, I think he awoke to a new feeling born inside him after he almost lost Izuku. The uncompromising need for Izuku to stay in his life. And his feelings from childhood that he’d hidden deep inside reemerged with the same explosive level of fervour that he’d given Izuku their whole lives, except now when he thought about Izuku, his heart was filled with something… different.

He only realised what those feelings really were at the same time he faced the looming death that was ahead of him. Katsuki was stripped completely bare by AFO and found all that remained of him, which was now staring him straight in the face, the precious piece of him AFO could never touch: Izuku’s and his intense and binding love for each other. There's no other explanation for chapter 362, other than him becoming more aware of both Izuku's and his own feelings. That's why he thought of him in the end, that's why he longed to see him so much.

That's why he wanted his feelings to reach him, to have Izuku in his grasp, at a time when he knew he had no hope to. All For One told him to face his reality. But that reality and Katsuki's wishes are two very separate entities and nothing can come between the love and belief Izuku and Katsuki have for each other. Katsuki would not be broken… and it was his hope that won out.

Edgeshot: "Don't give up, Dynamight! The guy you're waiting for will... Deku will come for sure. That's why I won't let you die!"

Hori revealed on the back of Volume 37 that Izuku is the person Katsuki had been waiting for because... (and this BREAKS ME):

Katsuki had been waiting to be saved by him.

I KNOW, I KNOW. There's a small part of me that's just like "SHUTUP HORI THESE CHAPTERS WERE ALREADY HARD ENOUGH TO TAKE YOU DIDNT HAVE TO RUB THEM IN EVEN MORE :((" because thinking about all of this hurts like hell.

But I know these lines probably weren’t written to upset those of us who live in a perpetual state of bkdk canon brainrot, and were written so that everyone else, the average "casual" fan, can start to see/accept the love that's between them a little more. I'm sure it's with this kind of intention that he reminded everyone again of who exactly it was residing in Katsuki's heart and whose name it was Edgeshot felt he needed to use to call out to Katsuki with, for the sole purpose of motivating him harder to stay alive. (ily Hori, thanks for the pain.)

As of ch.362, they are both now aware they love the other, Izuku doesn't know yet that it's very reciprocal, but I think Katsuki realised it, and he allowed Izuku's love to overflow him during his delirium, using it as his shield to protect his spirits after the awful things AFO did and said to him. It's devastating that he had to suffer so much to see the truth that had been lying dormant inside his own heart the whole time.

This uncovered truth is why he got back up and acted in the way he knew Izuku believed in most about him. Izuku wasn't coming. But at the very least... he could still become the hero Izuku admires and loves one last time, before it was all over...

"(Never giving up until I get my win is what you always believed in about me,) so I just gotta win, right.... Izuku....?"

Ch.362 felt like Katsuki's answer to Izuku's feelings, an incredibly private moment of him exposing his bare heart for all to see. His final act was an acceptance and reciprocity of the love Izuku felt for him that had been there all along. He was completely run down mentally, physically and spiritually, so he comforted himself by thinking about his special guy.

What provides more comfort than your beloved being right there with you, at your lowest? What greater desire does the heart have than to feel loved by the person it yearningly aches for the most?

Katsuki was only able to see Izuku's feelings because he could finally face and recognise his own.

[thefreelanceangel]

[laugtherhyena]

Oh right uhh, Kokoro lives in -2+2 (And Emma, and also Hibiki)

[allthetropes]

OKAY, AO3 CHILDREN, GATHER ROUND

peek = verb = to take a look

peak = noun OR verb = the summit, to come to the highest point

pique = verb = to rouse

The boy peeked around the corner at the peak of the mountain, his interest piqued by the noise he was hearing. If I have to read one more fic that says something like "this will peek your interest" i'm gonna lose it

oh, that's another one

lose = verb = to fail or misplace [looz]

loose = adjective = baggy, not tight [loos]

and while I'm at it

affect = verb = to change

effect = noun = a change

blond = adj = male with yellow hair

blonde = adj = female with yellow hair

brunet = adj = male with brown hair

brunette = adj = female with brown hair

fiancé = adj = male betrothed

fiancée = adj = female betrothed

( yes all of those suck, blame the french )

revenge = noun = a victim gets their own back on the person that made them suffer

avenge = verb = back-pay is given to a bad person in the name of their victim but not by the victim themselves

desert = noun = large wasteland

dessert = noun = meal course, typically at the end of the meal, usually consisting of something sweet

breathe = verb = to inhale and exhale

breath = noun = the air that is inhaled or exhaled

bridal = adj = belonging to a woman on her wedding day

bridle = noun = tack for around a horse's head (can also sometimes be a verb meaning to restrict and lead somebody or something)

[byrdtrollsunoreversearchive]

In Loving Memory of Kokoro Kimura

Fleet Correspondence, 4/4/753, Archen (Cleanser) Aurela to Artemi (Midas) Anatol, reads the plain black archives folder.

The simple fact of the matter is, we have reached the point where the population and renown of your ‘small port side town’ has long since exceeded the levels with which the fleet is comfortable no longer being involved in it, which is putting it nicely. 

The letter begins. 

You cannot lie, cheat and steal your way into creating what is basically a sovereign city state on this planet. You are lucky you have run unchecked for so long. Such an offense could be forgiven, if Midas were to make an honest case for being a GHB over Tes Roven. I am once again frustrated that you have derailed our correspondence from him. We are making a generous compromise with you and you will not even allow us to speak with who is in charge. The fleet will not ask again. Midas must come forward and swear loyalty to the empire to lay any sort of claim to this territory. 

Hi, 

This is Kokoro Kimura, again. Your ludicrous compromise is not the middle ground you imagine it to be. 

You will not be corresponding with Midas, nor will he be making any kind of claim to this territory. Tes Roven belongs to me. 

I have long since been in charge of its entire economy, its governance, its workforce, and all its public affairs. I have the documentation going back 200 sweeps to prove it, and I have copies attached.

I can see your confusion around Midas as a figurehead. I know he is exactly the kind of troll you want to have raised a city state from nothing, and I allowed you to indulge in this fantasy in the hopes of avoiding conflict. For sweeps I have given him the credit for the work I did to install him and create this place. But I must disappoint you- him and Gihyun both work for me. 

And any attempt to transfer this power to pigeonhole it into your narrow ideas of caste would result in the city falling apart at the seams. 

I accept your facade of ever having this conversation on logical terms at face value- as a facade. All logic insists that I am capable of running this city. I have been doing it, unbeknownst to you, for 200 sweeps. But the fleet’s carnevale impression of reality could never cave to such reasonable terms. You aim to refuse me on the basis of my blood color and lay siege to my home as a result. 

Let us not be polite with each other. 

Your pretend negotiation reveals your cowardice. I would not be receiving letters from you were you not scared.

I will offer you a way out fitting of a coward. Make me a backdoor. Make me a loophole. 

Make me a shiny little medal that says once in five million sweeps an oliveblood could serve in your system of governance but only if he’s the specialist boy.

And sure, I will swear loyalty to your military. I’ll make myself a cozy little corner of alternia and I’ll never bother you again. 

Bend your rules backwards just enough that you will not force me to break them. 

And before you attempt to lecture me on my audacity, recall that I could have kept this information from you. Remember that I could have stayed quiet- I could have told Midas to humor you and continued behind the scenes. Renowned fleet military strategy experts ask yourself. If this of all things is the first card I played. Then what else am I keeping in my hand? 

Hello again, Kimura. 

Even in whatever ridiculous fantasy world you must think we live in, I cannot imagine there is much else in your ‘hand’. Your bluff is transparent and pathetic. Centuries of paperwork do not actual power make. I would be frustrated by your foolishness if I did not find it so amusing. What kind of trolls do you surround yourself with that have allowed you to become so delusional about your place? 

You say you don’t want to be polite- fine. We will be at your doorstep next evening, to kill you. Our strategists examined your logic and found a fatal flaw- assuming you have something else in your hand requires that we first assume you are not an idiot. We find no evidence to base such an assumption. 

The exchange ends there. 

Sunset leafs through the rest of the papers for Kokoro’s next response, but only finds what must be the 200 sweeps worth of paperwork Kokoro had sent the fleet. At first glance it looks real, but he doesn’t know much about bookkeeping. The young mafia lord briefly considers running it by an expert. Not out of doubt of the oliveblood claims, but in the name of being thorough. Yet he cannot think of a troll he would trust with the information. He pauses. Sunset pulls out his camera, and begins the painstakingly slow process of photographing every single one of the pages with his phone. 

The fleet archives camera blinks its slow, red light in the corner about him. The loop they’re feeding into the security footage of a blank room will only keep running for another hour. His knowledge that he only has so much time wrestles with his want to be methodical and careful. He has wiped his presence from the minds of any of the fleet personnel he passed, but sadly, his voodoos did not work on machines. He finishes his documentation in the nick of time, leaving him 15 minutes to exit the facility. He carefully places the papers back into their classified file with his gloved hands, and speedily makes his exit. The gears of his mind doing catapults around the information he had barely had time to fully process. Kokoro’s words echoing in his mind. Tes Roven belongs to me.

.

.

.

.

.

300 sweeps ago, Gihyun Yupark bursts into Kokoro’s room, slamming a pile of papers down on his desk. 

“What the fuck is this” The Jadeblood hisses. 

“A woman who can’t knock” The olive shrugs. “And a pile of papers, though I assume you refer to what's on them” Jokes the man. 

“Don’t play stupid, Koko.” She says. “Since when do I fucking work for you!” 

“Since when do you read my mail?” Kokoro says, straightening the letters. 

“Since you tried to pull a fast one on me with that art gallery job 70 sweeps ago” She accuses. “And this is not even your mail! It’s Midas’s, which YOU derailed.” 

“Oh, save it, Gi” He says, with an amount of venom in the man’s voice you are unaccustomed to hearing in his exchanges with Gihyun. “It was a double cross. But I didn’t say a word that wasn’t true.” 

“I don’t work for you” She repeats.

“I have 200 sweeps of paperwork that says different.”

“You do the books” She says. “We do the-” 

“Killing people” He autocompletes her sentence. “Do you realize, how much fucking work it is? To run a fucking city? Do you have any idea what the two of you dumped on me when you said we want the glory and you do the paperwork, Gi?”

“You could have said no,” She retorts, pointing. 

“I could not have said no,” He replies. “I knew you and Midas would be dead in days without me.” 

“You’re going to get yourself killed!” She snaps. 

“You have so little faith in me?” He grins. 

“I’m not joking around, Kokoro! This is serious! I’m mad because I CARE about you! Why in ten million sweeps would you do such a thing!” She rants. 

“Was I supposed to just. Let you two get all the credit. For the rest of time?” He says, staring at the table. 

“That’s not what I said, Koko, we arranged things like this to keep you safe.” She pleads.  

“Yeah, in a way that just coincidentally massively benefits both of you. Sure.” He says, almost sounding bored. 

It is a moment before she speaks again. 

“If you felt this way,” She says slowly. “Why didn’t you talk to me? I would have gotten it.” 

“No, you wouldn’t” He hisses. “You are a midblood, Gi!” 

There is a long, tense pause. 

“You’re going to get yourself killed.” She repeats. 

“I have a plan,” He says. 

“Of course you have a plan. This is still dumb” She says. “I’m telling him.” 

“Gi” Kokoro says, instantly switching his tone. “Come on. Snitches get-”

“This is literally!” She says, throwing up her arms, “HIS mail. Don’t you think your Kismesis gets to know you told The Cleanser to his face you wanted him to make you the first oliveblood GHB?”

“That’s not what that said” He retorts. 

“Then what does it say, Koko. What does it say?” Gihyun Yupark says, gesturing at the letter. “Enlighten me.” 

It is Kokoro’s turn to be silent. He mulls on this for a long, long moment. The jadeblood in front of him narrows her eyes, and then storms out of the room. 

.

.

.

.

.

Sunset wishes he could tell you the exact moment he knew. Those waters were muddied first by Midas’s absence from public life for 300 sweeps. Secondly by Sunsets complete lack of interest in the matter. And third with denial and emotion. Maybe when he first found a black and white photograph, of young Midas with his arms over his friends in a small casino, the first one The Falling Moon’s ever opened, and noted the shape of his horns. Maybe the several times in passing, he has walked by one of those little shrines to Kokoro and a friend, Casmie or Toni or Rasley, had unprompted told him jokingly, you look just like him. Occam’s razor decrees that the most reasonable explanation is the most likely. But it could never account for the twists and turns of an unpredictable universe. 

Maybe he knew, sometime in the back of his head, as he zoned out at night staring at the door to his office, and the mirror across the way. Watching how, if he moved his head just right, the symbol on the door- the falling moon on fire, lines up with his horns oh so perfectly. So perfectly that no conclusion could be made other than it was that way by design. He had dismissed it, miles of reasonable evidence. He told himself even if it were true it wouldn’t matter to him. It wouldn’t change his mind, it wouldn’t change how he thought of either of them. 

Midas was Midas. And Kokoro had abandoned all of them. He had left the smoldering pile of ash that was their city, to burn, and burn, and burn. But eventually, he caved, reckoning, if he was right, he did not want to be caught unaware, he did not want Midas to know more than he did. They only talked through Enin, Midas’s ever patient messenger. He could not be sure if the man had guessed. If Enin had shown him pictures, if Enin had described him to him. Enin must know. But Sunset knew him well enough to know the mirror creature had been the mafia long enough to know when to hold a trump card to his chest, and wait for the time it was valuable.  

Against his will, the acceptance of this theory stirred long dead emotions in him. Sometimes, when wallowing in the tragedy of his youth, he imagined he had met Midas, when he was young, too young to remember, and the man had shook his head, glanced at his mutation, and rejected him. Sold him to that circus, or threw him out on the street. It was a strange kind of comfort to pretend such a rejection had already occurred. It rested the matter from his mind. But he had no way of knowing it was true. And he had enough reasons to hate Midas without making up imaginary ones. 

The opposite fantasy upset him more. When he was young, he often pictured some distant relative, maybe an ancestor or an ancestors friend, or just a kind hearted soul, spotting him in the circus, whisking him away to a life of luxury and safety. Telling him he never belonged in such a place, that it was over. His pan could not help but wander, to the possibility, that Midas might have been that savior. That he may not reject him. That he had no idea where or what Sunset was, and if he did, he would free him, raise him into this life of excess and luxury and cruelty. Only the best for his descendant. Maybe give him his surgery even earlier than he had had it. The thought sickened him. He didn’t want to imagine what kind of troll he may have grown up to be in that case. 

Midas, at least, he knew he hated without question. But his thoughts on Kokoro were too complex to count. An uneasy dislike. Suspicion, bitterness. Would he have preferred to be saved by the man he had quickly guessed was his ‘other’ ancestor? He could not tell you. He did not hate him as much as he hated Midas. But he had no love for him either. He was the only one in this city who knew the extent of his cowardice. Tes Roven had paid for it ten times over. The consequences of Midas’s reign. The reign he would have never had had Kokoro not ran, and ran, and ran. 

But there were things to admire about him, undoubtedly. He now had an extensive economic record of how he structured the city. That and more he had dug up for old files. Kokoro had run several money laundering fronts. He had told rich highbloods hey- let me launder your money for you so you don’t have to pay fleet taxes. He siphoned off funds from these places in secret and sent them to community centers, libraries and infrastructure repair. The way in which he structured Tes Roven’s economy back in the day had been so intelligent Sunset frequently found himself stealing his ideas. 

And he was an underdog. Hard not to root for an underdog, even if he couldn’t finish the fight he started. A scraggly mutt charging headfirst for a bigger, bigger animal. He did not know what to do with his fragile sympathy for him. It somehow made things worse. 

The whole thing felt like one last kick to a wounded soul. He wanted to destroy the engineers of his suffering. But now he was forced to reckon with his similarities to them. 

Because… he was similar to them. Prideful. Intelligent. Stubborn. Righteous. A liar and a hypocrite. A holder of grudges and a maker of great escapes. 

He was the best of both of them.

He was the worst of both of them. 

He was something else entirely. A tapestry of faults and virtues that paid their dues to both nurture and nature. He was fate itself on some fucked up kind of drug. He was the undoing of both of them. He was their rapture.

He could not tell you when he first knew. But he could not stop knowing. Could not fathom how to carry so invisible a burden. The weight of this knowledge silently flowed out of him at all times like a collapsing dam.

He had told no one.

.

.

.

.

.

300 sweeps ago, the same night, another visitor comes to Kokoro’s door with a gentle and patient knock. Koko is not seated at his desk now, the man is circling the desk in his office, pacing. He pauses, abruptly stopping the long march that had occupied the better part of the last three hours, inhaling. 

“Why bother,” He says. “Gihyun’s already burst in here.”

“Koko,” Midas says softly, calling him Gihyuns nickname with such practiced affection and ease that it seems more his than hers. It is somehow both a warning and a plea. 

Kokoro exhales, like the breath he started at the beginning of his sentence has only now just found the grace to leave his body. 

“Come in” He says, with a gesture at the Door that the purpleblood likely cannot even see. “Get it over with.” 

Midas steps into the room, looking so lost and tired for a man of his stature, the paintings and items on the walls and cabinets looming over them to the point they almost dwarf the man. Perhaps he stood that way, His back bent, with that languished expression, on purpose. 

“I love you,” Are the first words that come out of his mouth, falling to the ground like a gift given and promptly dropped and shattered on the floorboards. 

“I love you,” Kokoro says softly, “but…?” He extrapolates the end of Midas’s sentence from the air. “I love you but this puts you in danger, but this is idiotic, but this destroys everything we’ve spent centuries building, but how dare you?” 

“I love you” Midas repeats, hanging up his coat on the rack. “Period.” 

Kokoro seems caught off guard by this, stumbling blindly into the amiable conversation having braced for one identical to Gihyun’s. 

“This,” The purpleblood makes a tired halfway gesture with his hands, flopping one gently in the air. “Only destroys everything we’ve spent centuries building, if you lose.” He continues. “And I know you don’t start fights you can’t win” He says. “So.” Midas lifts both hands halfway through the air in a shrug like gesture. “What do you need from me?” 

For some reason, his approval made him even more trepidatious than his anger ever could. Gihyun hates the idea, Midas loves it. Against his will, second thoughts bang on the closed door of his mind with frenzy. Somewhere in his secret heart Koko must know which of these trolls he trusted more. 

“What’d Gi say to you?” He says. 

“She threatened to walk.” Midas says. “Said she’d take her third of the mafia with her. Wanted me to join her.” 

“You said no?” Kokoro challenges. 

“I said no,” He retorts. 

“Why?” He says. 

“Hey,” he says softly. “I’m with you Dushen’ka,” He says. “I think you were right. That’s why I did it.”

“Yeah?” Kokoro questions, still bristling, but his confidence starts to falter. “How’d that serve you?” 

Midas meets his gaze, the man’s tired eyes staring so deep into Kokoro’s eyes he felt his image could step forward and climb through the little cornea. 

“Do you have any idea?” He says. “What a weight off my shoulders it would be to not have to pretend? About anything anymore?”  He takes a step forward. “To not live a life built so precariously on a foundational lie? I know you. You lead, I follow.” He takes the oliveblood by the shoulders. 

“I love you Koko, you were right.” 

Some of the tension starts to gradually, slowly fall from Koko’s shoulders. There is something off about these words, but they are comfortable, as easy to fall into as a feather bed. 

“I stole your mail” He says, the last echoes of protest bouncing off the walls with a quiet death. 

“Yeah, and you stole a Rembrandt from me 30 sweeps ago. What’s another double cross between a laundry list of them longer than Alternia’s circumference. It’s what we do. There are things more important to both of us than that.” He says, cupping the other man’s cheek. 

Kokoro sighs, falling into his touch. 

“What do you need from me?” Midas repeats. “What’s the plan?”

“The plan is fucked” Kokoro says. “If Gi walks. I need her numbers.”

“Then we’ll think of another one,” He says, wrapping his arms around the troll. “It’s so simple, Dushen’ka” He says, and Kokoro looks up at him, the oliveblood caught on every word, or maybe caught up in the warmth of his arms, the bigger trolls scratchy chin resting on his forehead. The ease of it all. It would be lovely for things to be simple, to be able to believe that, for even a moment. 

“We kill Gihyun” Midas finishes. And Kokoro blinks, stiffening like a cold wind had just overtaken him, immediately and completely.

“We blame the fleet.” He continues, as if it were a list, as if it were reasonable, inevitable, rational. “All of her favorites- will want revenge so badly. They’ll hop right on board with us. We’ll be heroes to them.” He lists, running a hand through his hair. 

The ever calculating, untrustful soul of Kokoro Kimura scrambles to whir up, to decide his next words. 

No way on heaven or earth they would do such a thing. Not for a moment. Not as a hypothetical. Not as a bluff. Not if he was offered all the riches in the world- not if the fleet handed him Tes Roven on a silver platter, not if it was the only way to save ten drowning kittens. In no universe, in no world, in no solemn hidden corner of the galaxy, in no shady closet or open hallway or darkest corner in his mind. Would Kokoro Kimura kill Gihyun Yupark. 

But he could not say that, could he?

This was moves and countermoves- it had to be. Midas must be testing his loyalty, his faith. If he failed, the purpleblood would probably go straight to the fleet. If he protested, the man might lash out. If he said no, he would have no power over Midas- he would have nothing but the tense bridge of love offered between them that could be retracted at any moment. 

He would have to agree. He would have to agree, and then insist on taking the matter into his own hands, to buy him time, to keep Midas from doing it himself. But he must do it only after just enough protest that he finds it genuine. But not so much protest he was angered. 

“There has to be another way,” He says slowly. 

“Koko, she’s as good as killed you by not siding with you on this” Midas says. “She betrayed the gang- threatened to tear it apart. Would you accept this from any subordinate? Would you ever be able to trust her again? She doesn’t believe in you like I do.” 

“Midas” He pleads. “It’s Gi.” 

“Power like the kind you want,” he says, “does not come without a price. Is not maintained without ruthlessness. You know that.” He says. “I don’t like it anymore than you do. But there is no other way. She could be going to her staff right now. We don’t have time to hesitate.” 

He is silent for an age. The weight of hours and days folded into the solemn contemplation of but a minute or two. 

“Okay” He says. “I’ll do it.” He promises. 

Midas releases his grip on him, lifting the man's hands in a picture of knighthood and loyalty. 

“Have strength,” He says, kissing his knuckle. “I’ll see you on the other side, Koko.” 

The oliveblood takes a deep breath. 

And exits the room.

This was the last time they spoke to each other. I could not tell you which man was the better liar. Facades atop facades. Masks over masks. Treachery and loyalty and love and pain. They had perfected it, they expected it from each other. Words to them were not a vessel to truth as much as they were means to an end. Did Midas believe Kokoro? Did Kokoro believe Midas? 

It doesn’t matter. 

.

.

.

.

.

It is 300 sweeps ago. I would say it was the same night, but the hours have since passed barely into the next day’s morning. Kokoro bursts into Gihyuns door without knocking. 

“Gi!” He yells. 

“Here to talk me out of it?” She retorts, having cracked open the window in her office to smoke. 

“Midas wants to kill you” he says. 

“Is that a threat?” She retorts. 

“Of course not!” He snaps. 

“Gonna sound so offended?” She says. Taking a long drag. 

“You think I’d kill you!” He accuses. 

“Who’s to know, Koko?” she says. “Everybodies lost their minds. Everybody heard ‘GHB over Tes Roven’ and got dollar signs in their eyes so big they can’t process reality anymore. Who gives a fuck.” 

“Did you even read my letter?” He retorts. 

“I skimmed it,” She says. “Then I was so blinded by your stupidity I had to lay down for a second.” 

“I’m not doing this for money.” He says, quietly. “I wanted to make a difference.” 

“Then you should have kept your mouth shut,” Gihyun says. 

“Easy for you to say,” he says. 

“Soo…?” She says. 

“Sooo…?” He echoes. 

“All those bastards you pissed off are coming” She says. “What’re you waiting for?”

“I had to make sure you’re okay,” He says. 

“Koko,” she says softly. “You’re an idiot.” She says. “He played you.” 

Kokoro pauses, squinting up at her. 

Gihyun closes the window, walking back over to her desk. She picks up a sealed letter, with Midas’s moon wax seal pressed onto the envelope. 

“Your boyfriend already wrote back to the fleet.” She says. 

“You fucking. Mail gremlin” Kokoro blurts out without thinking. 

Gihyun blinks incredulously, affronted.  

“Excuse me?” she retorts, tossing him the thing. 

Kokoro opens it, parsing its contents. 

“He said yes to their offer” she summarizes. “He probably only told you all that shit about killing me to distract you. And it worked.” She says, throwing up her arms. 

“You have the letter,” He says. “It didn’t get sent.” 

“The fleet’s coming anyway.” She replies. “He can just tell them in person.” 

Kokoro begins to pace, as he had been earlier, erratically. 

“The two of us could take him,” He says. 

“The two of us?” She replies. 

He pauses. “Yes, Gi, the two of us.” He says. “Whatever you feel about me you must know we’d be better at it than him.” 

“Yeah.” She says. 

“Things were better,” Kokoro says. “When he was just a figurehead.” 

The jadeblood sighs. “He was my friend before he was yours. Yet…he’s clearly made his choice” She says, gesturing at the letter once more. “I hate to say I prefer anyone as a puppet. But yeah, we might have fucked up giving him access to unconditional power and acclaim. Went straight to his head.  Now he’s trying all the sneaky, backhanded shit he learned from you.”

“From you too.” 

“From both of us,” She says. “He put my life on the table,” Gihyun recalls. “That was too far.”

“It was a bluff.” Kokoro defends. 

“You believed him without question,” she retorts. “You did not hesitate for a second to run here. You cannot tell me you trust the man. 

“No further than I trust you” he retorts. 

Something like hurt flashes across the woman's face, but it’s gone in an instant. 

“Liar,” Gihyun says. 

“This is not…” He sighs. “This is just- part of the game. He fucked us over, fine. But is that the last line in the sand? How come he’s irredeemable and we’re not? Have we not killed? Have we not betrayed? Have we not fucked each other in desperate, personal ways.” 

“I thought you were meant to be making the case” She says. “To team up against him” 

“I am,” He says. “But not to kill him.” 

“I see,” She says.

He sighs in answer. “So you’re in?” 

She stares. “So what, then, joint leadership until the next time you decide to fuck me over?” 

“That's the business” He says. 

“I’m sick,” She says. “Of the fucking business.” She narrates, as he continues to pace. “How many centuries- two hundred sweeps- have the three of us been trading double crosses and lies and fucking each other over over and over again.” She throws up her hands.

“Then leave” He hisses. “But let me keep your crew.” 

“You really think this,” Gihyun gestures, “Is what love is supposed to look like?”

He stops, again, his back to the woman. 

“That’s besides the point.” He stutters. “You’ve fucked me over” He retorts. “Just as many times- if not more- than I’ve done to you.” 

“So what?” She stutters. “I’m not allowed to say this is awful?” 

“You started this” He retorts. 

“I what?” She replies. 

“You think I haven’t been keeping track?” He replies. 

“Of the ongoing, endless game of treachery all three of us have been engaged in since we were what, s-” 

“Seven” Kokoro retorts. “When we were seven you two fucked me over on that pocketwatch scam.” 

She stares at him for a long, long time. “SO?” She says. “That’s your- justification??? That’s your moral highground??? Decades of this bullshit because what?? Me and Midas played a mean prank on you when we were teenagers that barely would have cost you 20 caegars? Are you fucking kidding me?” She says, stepping forward, looming over the smaller troll. 

He seems not sure how to respond to this. Wrapping his arms around himself. 

“This is not about moral highground.” He says. “There is none.” 

“What is it about?” She says, sitting down, putting out her cigarette on an ashtray. “Suffering the most?”

He closes his eyes. 

“You deserve better,” She gestures. “Than a life of constantly looking over your shoulder. I deserve better. We both do.” 

Kokoro does not know what to do, unsteady and uncomfortable with this sudden and complete vulnerability. As fragile and untrustworthy to him as it had been when it came from Midas’s mouth. Gihyun stares at him, for a long moment before she begins to understand he never intends to look him in the eyes. So she stops offering that piercing gaze, her eyes turning to the window. 

“I’ve been thinking about going to college,” she says. 

“What?” He says. 

“Don’t laugh.” She warns. “I know I'm two hundred.”

“What would you- what would you study?” He says, still uneasy, but this road of conversation is easier to him than grand declarations of who deserves what. 

“I have no idea” She laughs. “I just remember. When we were kids. Mugging people on street corners. Talking about all the shit we would do once we pulled off one, huge, enormous job that would set us for life. Talking about what we wanted to do with our lives. When all this'' she gestures grandly at the walls of their casino on the top of the hill. 

“Was just fantasy and signs scribbled on old notebook paper and scraps. I remember you said you wanted to go to college. I forget what I said.” She says. “We’re rich now. But we never did all that shit.” 

“How will you- have the time, with the gang” he says. 

“Don’t you get it, Koko?” She says, not yet looking back at him. “When I said I’m done, I’m done.”

He is silent in answer. Some part of his brain was still protesting that this was a play. 

“So it’s just over?” He says. “We’re over?” 

“What were we to begin with, Koko? Me, you and Midas barely act like we even like each other.” 

“I made this place,” he says. “From the ground up. Can you just say this once” He stumbles. “That this isn’t fair?” 

She stares at him. “This isn’t fair,” she says, quietly. “Of course it should have been you. In any just, reasonable world, it should have been you, it should have been you from the start. Me and Midas all we ever had was brutality, but you, were the beating heart of all of this. And without you Tes Roven never even would have existed at all.”

“So I just have to stay here” he says, trying to keep the waver from his voice. “And sort out this mess?” 

She opens her mouth to remind him he made this mess in the first place, but stops herself. It was probably bound to happen, one way or the other, it won’t help her case.

“That’s up to you.” She says, instead. 

He finally meets her gaze. “What do you mean?” He says softly. 

She steps forward and takes his hands in hers, in a sudden and complete show of the desperation she had been scared to voice. “Come with me” she pleads. “Don’t you think being moirails could be more than just a game to us?” 

Kokoro stares, dumbfounded. Even the echoes of violent paranoia within him unable to conceive how them both leaving the mafia could be some sort of mind game. Such an open show of affection is not as easy for them as it would someday come to be. He is taken completely aback. Against his will, against every tyrannically oppressive and restrained bone in his body. Tears begin to fill his eyes. 

“Why would you wait till I’m about to die?” he chokes. “To say such a thing to me?” 

“I thought you weren’t going to die,” she replies. 

“I wasn’t.” He stutters, attempting to compose himself, glancing away. “I’m not.”

“You want me to be honest, Koko?” She says. “I believe you could do it. I believe whatever insane, mindfucky game you had in mind when you sent that letter could work. I know you wanted them to count on an assumption of your stupidity. I know somewhere in my heart that you just might have scraped by the skin of your teeth into some position of power” She says. “But this isn’t a battle you just have to win once.”

“If you help any kind of real power- attached to your real face- your real name- there would be a target on your back that could never be washed off. They’d never stop coming for you. They’d never stop assuming your weakness and hating your ambition. You wouldn’t have to win a once in a lifetime battle once. You’d have to do it a thousand times. You would have to do it every single day for the rest of your life. And I know you. And I can’t imagine you doing that without giving more of yourself than it's ever healthy to give.” 

“This isn’t about me,” he says, staring at the floor. 

“It isn’t?” 

“I have a duty,” he says, gesturing to the window. “To these people.” 

“You have a duty to yourself!” She snaps. “You have a duty to the people who care about you!”

“This is bigger than one troll,” he retorts. 

“Why do YOU SPECIFICALLY have to save Alternia, Koko!! Why is that YOUR burden?” 

“I can’t stand it,” He says. “The world being the way it is.”

“Well, that’s not your fault” She retorts. 

He closes his eyes. Gripping Gihyuns hands around his like a lifeline. He takes a deep breath, one that fills corners of his body and mind he didn’t even know we’re empty. 

“Fine,” He says. “What about Midas?” he says. “What about the fleet coming to kill me?” 

“You’re the genius, Kokoro. We still have four or so hours. Think of a way out.” She pleads.

The oliveblood stares up at the ceiling, blinking. Slowly, he begins to pace, back and forth, the gears of his mind whirring up again. He walks back and forth for a long time. The few hours they have left stretching out before him in between footsteps. Trying to put it all together. Trying to find his play. He could make it all fit together- somehow, someway. But every chess player knows most victories must come with sacrifices. Try as he might, he can no longer imagine coming away with everything he intended when he started this fight. Fleeting fantasies of convincing Midas of the same thing Gihyun had just convinced him here, enter his mind. 

Would he even listen, at this point? And what about the city? Could he truly just leave him here- without warning or explanation. To rule without knowing the weight of such a duty. But he is still embittered by that one final betrayal the purpleblood had placed on his doorstep. Flashes of anger and emotion infecting his train of thought, invisibly and dangerously. He is young. He is prideful. He can’t stand not being the last to speak in an argument, to leave it on the opponents note. He’s trying to be a better man, isn’t he? That’s his prize at the end of it all, that’s the future that carries him forward. Glimmers of it slip through his thoughts but the vision is hazy- he doesn’t yet know this theoretical man of tomorrow. He could not act on his wishes- his vices, before he even discovered him. He can only come down and stare at the gloved, reliable, slippy and treacherous hands of the troll Kokoro Kimura is-

Right now. 

So he pieces together one last double cross. The deception inherent in it folding beautifully under his mind's touch. He has it- he has a way everybody ‘wins’. His body stumbles. The shining ideal of a life without carrying a city on his back glittering to him like a mirage. He stops, abruptly and suddenly. 

“We have to let him have it,” he says slowly. “He wants Tes Roven- he has to have it” He says, gripping Gi by the shoulders. “And we run and we run and we never look back” he promises. 

.

.

.

.

.

Five months ago, Sunset watches the sunrise on Alternia through a filtered, grayed and blue tinted haze. The balconies of Rollyn’s mansion had UV roofs that could be lowered. A new architectural trend amongst rich Alternians that can afford it. They came down and clicked into the fence that surrounded the small area when the sun rose. Trace amounts of real sunlight poked through vents at the top of the thing that let in fresh air. They left soft yellow rectangular lines across the room, like sun peeking through a storm, or the leaves of a tree, dappled and gentle. It was good for plants- They had placed a variety of succulents that filled the air with the pleasant scent of greenery. 

It was peaceful. Lovely, even. But something was still missing. How could one truly see or understand the beauty of sunrise through thick layers of glass. Washed out by the UV blockers, his impression of the day is blank and soulless, the warmth and fire and richness of color in it trapped just a few feet away. Inside the room, he hears the soft sound of the rustling of stuffed animals, a small pair of slippers being slipped into by a bedside. Footsteps making their way across the floor, as soft and practiced as a dancers. 

“Go back to bed,” He says. 

“What are you doing?” Rollyn retorts, in the balcony’s doorway, resting a hand on her hip, her other holding close a giant frog plushie. The troll's hair is still held loosely in a bunch of curlers. Her eyes squinty and blinking in the light. 

“I can’t sleep,” He says. “But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t either.”

“Come back to bed.” She says. 

“There’s no point,” He replies. “I already know I won’t be able to get back to sleep now that I’ve awoken.” 

“I have a melatonin,” She offers, walking up next to him, resting a gentle hand on his shoulder. 

“They make me groggy,” He says. 

“Come take a bath with me, it’ll calm you down.” They try, one more time. 

“Rollyn.” He says, simply. 

The cerulean pauses, staring into the man's soft eyes, so often clouded over with restraint and pain, as if his face was a sieve he only let some things slip through. The rest caught and kept and looked over in dark corners of painful memories in a careful process of dissection. She pauses, taking his hand. 

“I’ll stay up with you.” She says. 

“You have work tomorrow,” He replies. 

“So do you.” She says. 

He sighs, his hand going to his face and rubbing his eyes. He squeezes his other hand in her own. 

“What’s wrong?” Rollyn says, resting their head on his shoulder, watching the sun continue to rise. 

He thinks on this, still staring forward into the light. When he speaks, he speaks as he always does, in riddles, in half truths, in vague, overarching concepts that most can find no specifics within. He would not give you a piece of his heart without a backdoor of deniability. 

“You ever feel like your life is a path that's already set out in front of you,” He says. “That there's no way to sway from. Every turn you try to take loops around and back to here. All roads lead to here. Any choice I ever could have made wouldn’t have changed the person I am now. It’s driven by some greater course that I can’t comprehend. That I am scared to even consider”

“It’s a little early for philosophy,” She says. “Are you talking about g-d?” They pause. “I think you chose to be here Sunset. I don’t think anything is set in stone.” 

“Does a bird choose to fly?” He says. “Or is born with a set of wings and the dream of the sky in its pocket.” 

“I thought you didn’t believe in fate” She says, lifting her stuffed animal from slipping out of her grip. “You’re the only Rovenian I know who doesn’t toss coins at those little Kokoro shrines.” 

“I don’t believe in that kind of fate” He says. 

She exhales, laughing. “I didn’t know there were different kinds,” She says. “Does it really matter?”

“Yes,” He says. 

“Then what kind of fate do you believe in?” They challenge. “Explain it to me.” 

He inhales, resting his head on hers. 

“The merciless kind” He says.

“Well” She sighs, watching his eyes deepen, pulled away by the distant horizon. She turns her head up towards his neck. “Kind of takes all the fun out of it, doesn’t it? That’s the saddest way to look at it.” 

“Fate was supposed to be fun?” He laughs, lifting his head, caught off guard by her dismissal. 

“Yes,” They say, leaning up to kiss his cheek. “It's a prankster. It’s a silly little animal that can’t be caged or caught, like the roadrunner in looney tunes. Dancing around gunshots and delivering karma. The prideful spend a lifetime running after it only to realize they’ve walked right off a cliff. You be careful chasing that thing," she says. 

“Or one day you’ll look down and see there's nothing beneath your feet.”

[cepheusgalaxy]

I fell asleep thinking about T&O....and i had an awesome dream.....and its giving me ideas....

Remember that idea I had a while ago about giving Noa a toxic sapphic relationship? No? Yeah, fair, I didn't bring it back up for a while. Anyways

In my dream Noa was with Kokoro! Kokoro, the living weapon! She was originally gonna be from Houbi and be the guard dog of someone from the court that would make an appearence back at Totsuka's arc but I really like the idea of she being Noa's guard and servant instead (a hooray for power imbalance!)

Totsuka wasn't captured in the dream for some reason

Ola was, however, and they kept putting him in stress positions and just making him miserable and he was also especially assigned to serve Noa as well so he saw Kokoro a lot

The other servants at the estate didn't have it as nearly as bad as him XD I think he was Getting It because the gang had been causing trouble for Donatello. I really liked the idea of them being already onto Donatello for some reason and then they were captured so I'm using that

Also after he was rescued Totsuka and him went to invade the estate for some reason

So. To wrap it up. I really gotta revisit how tf this whump arc is gonna go and also Kokoro + Noa (whumperee + carewumper) toxic yuri YAY

(To reiterate: Donatello is the whumper of the captivity arc i conceptualized some months ago and Noa is his daughter who plays the role of the carewhumper. I wasn't really sure about how she was as a person so I was considering making her a child so her thought process and actions would make more sense—wanting to help and comfort her father's captives but still not doing anything to like, free them or prevent Donatello from harming them, which would make more sense for a naive and obedient child with the heart in the right place—BUT now. Toxic yuri)

[despair-to-future-arcs]

The Orphan's Final Resting Place

Location: Elizabeth Saunders Home, Ōiso, Kanagawa Prefecture

Time: 7:21 PM

*The car then stop*

So this is the place, yeah?

Yeah it is and damn, I can still smell it here...

Smell...what?

It's... not something you want to see, but you better cover your noses; as there's a lot of bodies...

*As Akane lead them, the 2 came across bodies of bodies of children, ranging from the ages of 5 to 12 years old, all rotting corspes*

*covers his noses* What the shit?! Holy hell, the bodies smell bad here!

*covers her noses as well* Well... I guess we were warned, we should bury the bodies after we take care of the robot...

Yeah, just step inside, he'll be ready...

*As the group walk in, another taxi stop a bit far off*

DRIVER: That's as far as I go, sorry...

No no, it's fine - thank you very much for driving us here, I'll be sure to pay for your services...

*As then the car drove off*

Alright, I think I see the Future Foundation Car here, I believe they should be here, correct?

Yeah, c'mon - let's see... *As the 2 wander in, suddenly...*

Wh-Whoa, holy shit! Damn that smells...! *covers his nose*

*covers her nose too* Dear god, that smell... rotting bodies...

This...this is giving me a headache, how does anyone deal with this - let's get this-.

GUYS, LOOK OUT IT'S COMIN'!

*As then jumping from the air was a robot that jumped to the ground which then formed...*

[X]

*A giant robot with a glowing red eye appearing, it's sites were set on the intruders which then swung a fist at Juzo*

WHOA!! *Juzo quickly jumps back*

Looks like we got ourselves, guys shoot for the eye! *readies for his position*

EVERYONE: UNDERSTOOD!

*As then everyone kept shooting at the the robot with their hacking guns as Juzo kept rushing over and punching the eye*

That's a robot...isn't it? They look like Towa Corp...

Ye-Yeah and it looks really tough too, how are we gonna get pass this?

*WOOOOOOSH!!!*

*As then the robot shot a rocket from it's hand*

SHIT, COVER GUYS!!!!

*Everyone did so except for Emma and Hajime*

HOLY SHIT, EMMA LOOK OUT!!!

*Hajime pushed Emma on the ground which the rocket blew up a building from behind*

Ugh...th-that was...!

Ha-Hajime, are you alright?! We need to get out of here!

Ye-Yeah yeah, right behind you, let's go!

*the 2 rush off away and get into another taxi as the fight continues*

...

...

...

*BOOOOOM!!!*

*The robot was destory!*

Ah...ah...ahhh, d-did we win guys...?

Yea-Yeah...we did, damn that was tough as hell, everyone else okay?

FUTURE FOUNDATION MEMBER: We're find sir, but what about the bodies?

We are gonna remove them and bury them, also wear gas mask so you don't have to breath them in.

EVERYONE: Right!

*As then everyone got to work on cleaning up, except for Akane...*

[dragonspiral-tower]

touhou claire has consumed my brain so obviously i had to do style challenges with her

[anicastes]

😳

[tvwr1tes]

ooo could u do kanade otonokoji x kokoro mitsume headcanons? if not then them x reader pls ahaha

Kokoro Mitsume x Kanade Otonokoji

°My gosh.. The amount of Vocaloid Kanade would blast is... Um... Insane, Kokoro knows all the lyrics by heart

°We all know Kokoro fixed her-

°Kokoro and Kanade are the sassiest couple in the school

°Kokoros nicknames for Kanade are, "Tolerable" that's it :>

°They barely fight, its just Kanade venting to Kokoros lap! Yep lap!

°We all are aware that Kanade drags Kokoro to metal / rock concerts? Kay-

°OMG- THE NICKNAMES- Kanade Calls Kokoro things like "Pookie" "My little bear" and "My heart string"

°Kanade once stole Kokoros glasses for a day, lets just say the entire day was Kanade laughing at Kokoro for bumping into walls-

°Kanade DOMINATES Kokoro in dance dance Revolution!

[mewmewchann]

For Old Time's Sake

A rude awakening leads to one last investigation.

HI SORRY THIS IS SO LATE AUGH My other works took priority over this but it's finally here!! I hope you guys enjoy!!

[hog-guy]

cons of being into stuff with no fans:

innumerable

pros of being into stuff with no fans:

people haters stay winning

YOU can be the first person to post in the character tag

[yellowmagicalgirl]

Here's What Happens After They Win

The aftermath of the final battle.

This was written for APGeeksOut on AO3 for the 2023 Battleship Exchange. This was an interesting experiment, between writing for a new fandom, writing in future tense, and using a POV that isn't my usual.

AO3

SquidgeWorld

"Are you okay?" Undine will ask as her hands ghost over the bruises covering Kokoro's arms, the cuts on Kokoro's face. Undine will no longer be able to soothe the swelling or wash out the cuts with her water powers. She will no longer have powers at all. There will be no more magical girls.

Kokoro will say she's fine, but wince anyways, because she will no longer heal as fast as she once did. Her eyes will still be inherited from her mother. One day, she will look in the mirror, then at a photograph of Mitsuki, and realize that she always had her mother's eyes, even when they were covered by the remnants of her mother's magic.

Kokoro will be concerned that her girlfriend will no longer like her, due to the loss of blue eyes. Undine will laugh, kiss her girlfriend's forehead, and tell Kokoro that it wasn't her eyes that Undine fell for, but her new eyes are pretty like brown tourmaline. Kokoro will blush, not having been fishing for compliments but appreciating it anyways.

They will be involved in rebuilding. Their society, yes, but also their relationships. Undine will be there at the first dinner with Kokoro and her father after the end of magical girls. It will be funny, in a sad way - Kokoro will have been over for dinner at the Wells house for the first time months ago, but she and her girlfriend will have dinner at the Aichi house for the first time together nearly half a year after their first meeting.

Things won't be perfect. People's relationships will change with the truth of magical girls revealed, the loss of magic, and the fall of the barrier. They met because they were magical girls. They met because of a mystery, and when that mystery is solved Undine and Kokoro's relationship will have to change. They will fight each other. They will come out stronger. I hope you and I will come out stronger as well.

I don't know what my future holds, just theirs. But I do know that finally, finally, I will be able to rest. It'll only be a little longer.

Author's Note: I'm imagining that Anemone is saying all of this to the Woman in White before the events of whatever the final battle will be.

[laugtherhyena]

So fun fact about me and the another series; I found out about it back in 2018 just one or two weeks before Ch3 came out and spend the next 3 or 4 years being hooked onto the game until the fixation died down and only returned to me around August or September of lasy year.

Meaning that through 2/3s of Sdra2 i was able to see the chapters as they were coming out and that's honestly something i wish more people in the current fandom could have experienced because it was so fun seeing the hype around a chapter that's soon to come out spike up with all kinds of theories, predictions and people hoping their favorites won't die (i remember i even had a dream once where chapter 5 released and Teruya murdered Iroha by tying her into a train track and waiting for it to run over her after she came to him and told him about being a void and he was like, trying to get rid of all remaining void by killing Iroha himself and wining the class trial, which would in kill Mikado too. Wild shit, but it's a dream you know?). And of course, whenever a new chapter did release the entire fandom would collectively freak out for the entire day as random instagram accs posted Cgs and bits of roughly translated information through the day alongside the deaths and executions and this hype around the newest chapter would sprout all kinds of art, edits and more theories for the following month or two.

All around awesome experience? Not exactly. Because this also means i got to see Linuj's crazy plot twist as they were being revealed and here's where we get to the actual subject of this long ramble/rant; Kokoro Mitsume and how i really wish i could have spoiled myself of what happens in Ch0 because that would have spared me of so much pain.

And let me tell you, when i say pain, i am by no means exaggerating. You people have no idea how much i cried when Ch0 came out. My little 15 year old head was going through the 5 stages of grief over that plot twist, that shit didn't even feel real to me until one or two days after its release.

One thing you gotta know about me is that before i became the Ayame person™ Kokoro was my absolute favorite character of the another series, and if you know me for even just a little while then you know how insanely attached i am to her despite being a minor character who dies 1/3 of the way through the game.

Like, y'all don't understand, i was so happy when i saw that one Cg of her and Mikado in my timeline, so genuinely ecstatic to see more of her after i thought her character done with since the events of Ch2. Can you magine how i felt after watching the character i adored so so much turn out to be a vile human being? I was genuinely so distraught man, i spent a good while being one of those people that ignored everything about the characters irl selves because that twist hurt me so damn much, but even then i was never able to look at that character the same way again, even now she just makes me feel bad.

And it's s not that i think Kokoro is the worst person to have ever existed, i like antagonist/villain characters who've done much worse than her, hell, I don't even think her character was absolutely ruined or anything. When i think about Mitsume nowadays i genuinely find her an interesting case of a good person with big plans who lacked a proper support system or even friends which led her down a path where she became cold and cruel without a semblance of care for her own family so long as she could work on her project, and seeing the difference between the Kokoro we see as a teen and her adult self just makes all of this even more heartbreaking. I still like her, is just that having my perception of this character be completely shattered when Ch0 came out permanently affected how i view her and as much as i still enjoy her character even now I can't help but simultaneously hate her for how she made me feel ❤️

[allthetropes]

men will complain "aw men dont get to wear anything sexy" and strut up to work on a tuesday in a white button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows and suspenders. mf you rolled for perception and the dice ran away