#koichi x micchan

[waitmyturtles]

Eternal Yesterday. Before I dive into a meditation on memory, let me get a couple words down regarding a memory about memories.

I’ve written before that I’m pretty sure the first piece of Japanese art I ever consumed was Yoshimoto Banana’s novel, “Kitchen.” But also memorably, in college, I watched Koreeda Hirokazu’s film, “After Life.”

“After Life” is about a group of counselors who exist in purgatory. Their job is to meet the souls of those who have recently passed away, and interview them about the memory they want to re-live in their afterlives. Many of them choose memories related to their children or spouses, or moments in time that gave them beautiful feelings, such as snuggling against their parents when they were small children themselves. Over time, it’s revealed that the counselors are living in this purgatory because they themselves haven’t chosen a memory to live with. The story particularly focuses on two counselors who come to terms with their decisions, and how it changes them.

I’m reflecting on this movie because when I watched it, so long ago in college (me, old), it was one of the first pieces of art from Asia in which I saw that a quiet tone and even pace to delivering a message via content was incredibly vital to accurately conveying that message. In this case, the tone and pace of the movie was necessary to indicate that choosing this everlasting memory was a very important decision, indeed — it would be the very last decision these souls would make.

And I think there was something similar happening here in Eternal Yesterday.

The wonderful @bengiyo’s review of the show made me realize that while I was slightly confused and bemused by the magical realism play of Koichi not being quite dead throughout the series, that there was a very deep and real point to the concept that Koichi was a living corpse. I think that point relates, at least for me, to the reflection that I’m having on “After Life.”

It’s not clear if, in the universe of Eternal Yesterday, if people outside the circle of Mitsuru’s life who pass away can also experience a moment of living death; in other words, I’m not clear if this is a common occurrence in the world of this show outside their characters. Nevertheless, I’m only going to focus on Mitsuru for a second:

The fact that this phenomenon happened to two very close people in his life makes me think that the concept was designed here as a means for helping Mitsuru to begin the process of mourning. I think it was designed as a means for preparing Mitsuru to begin the process of letting go -- by leaving him with a slew of gorgeous memories, with the people he loved, as a means of him living out the love he has for them for the rest of his ontological life. 

I am twisted with angst, beautiful and saddened angst, at the thought of this concept. It is unbelievably COMPASSIONATE to me that there would be a concept that the way for someone living, to let go of someone who has passed, with a moment in a kind of purgatory that allows two people to create their final memories together, intentionally -- I mean. How much more humane and empathic can art get?

I was drawn to this show by the intense reviews of the series finale by @gillianthecat and @lelephantsnail, two people with amazing taste in shows, and when I saw how much Eternal Yesterday moved you two, I had to eat this show up, and I totally get why. For me, I’m totally wrapped up in the intensity that BOTH MITSURU AND KOICHI got to have their final moments together, knowingly, INTENTIONALLY. It’s gut-wrenching.

And there’s one more point that’s really getting to me -- it’s something related to why I really need to learn Japanese in my older age. 

Earlier in the series, during the campsite confession scene, I thought that (at least on Viki, I don’t know about other translations), the English translation of the word ichiban to “my number one” was a little inaccurate. I thought it was incredibly cute that the the guys called each other their ichiban, but I thought that “number one” as a translation was a little reductive in the context of a confession.

Ichiban, to me, meant something more like “superlative” in that moment. I think (I think!) it was meant to indicate something like, “I like you the very best of all,” rather than the guys saying to each other that they were each other’s “number ones.”

I’m harping on this because I was totally, utterly wasted and gutted by Mitsuru’s final words in the last episode -- when he said about Koichi, ichiban aishiteru.

I’m a real sucker for aishiteru in doramas, especially BLs. I was wrecked when Adachi used it to describe his love for Kurosawa to Kurosawa’s parents in the Cherry Magic movie earlier this year. 

It’s because I think it’s really necessary that this word is used more in Japanese BLs, because of how it indicates the very heavy and deep love that one partner has for another. For me, the usage of the word is a very welcome BL trope (I remember it being used memorably in Life: Love on the Line, when Akira uses it with Yuki when they meet again in Alaska). 

Aishiteru indicates the only love, the permanent love, the absolute love of a lifetime that exists between two people. It blows away the everyday English “love” by way of intensity and permanence. (I think it belongs in BLs so that audiences can see that aishiteru can exist in same-sex couplings -- it’s not limited to cishet pairings.)

What twisted me about ichiban aishiteru is that it indicated that Mitsuru was going to be OKAY with this reality for his lifetime -- that Koichi was going to be his superlative and permanent love for the rest of Mitsuru’s lived life. Mitsuru wouldn’t say such a heavy thing if it weren’t true. It was SO BEAUTIFUL to me that he used this phrase. I’m so messed up by it because of how concretely and resolutely Mitsuru said it. 

@bengiyo wrote in their review that this show is “poignant queer cinema,” and I could not agree more. Eternal Yesterday was DEEPLY satisfying and moving. And, I think, necessary in the library of BLs, to demonstrate depth of love between two characters that could not stop or help themselves to love each other. 

(THANKS @gillianthecat and @lelephantsnail, for the encouragement! Fantastic recommendation.)

[theflagscene]

Listen, I knew I wasn’t ready for the finale of Eternal Yesterday (eien no kino) but that still didn’t prepare me to spend 20 minutes crying like a bitch while watching it! Omg! I’m marking this series right up there with MODC and Kissable Lips, awesome show, amazing chemistry, great acting, intriguing story… but with a terrible horrible no good ending! Ahhhhh! I mean knew it was coming, there was only one outcome that could’ve happened with the story and yet I was still not prepared! Excuse me while I go lay on the floor for an hour to just try and process this.