#knowing how to reel his ND babe in

[ruiniel]

The way Xie Lian is so me-coded here

[sunlightmurdock]

katie!!! thoughts on bradley/jake/rhett as characters you've written and their approach or views of *social media* the stories written in present day, at least!

Ooo interesting!

Sub Rosa Rooster — Is on Facebook only, got Instagram after he started dating lil Kazansky, uses it solely to watch reels (bc he doesn’t get tiktok) and comment nice things on his girl’s pictures, that he took.

MFIY Rooster — This man is a menace the social media world. Snapchat, Instagram, fuckin tinder. He was on it all, but his time for social media kind of dries up when he becomes a dad. His Instagram feed goes from keggers and fishing trips to first steps and matching outfits with his kid

Ceasefire — Is kind of on a couple of them, but not really into any of them that much. Doesn’t really spend a lot of time on any of them, very much an old soul. Stalker through Hyde’s old Facebook pics once though.

TIP — Was on social media before he met Hawaii babe, doesn’t use it that much. Definitely becomes like her insta bf, always taking her pics for her and stuff, but doesn’t ever really post or do anything himself. Refusing to go Facebook official with Amy was probably the first thing they ever fought about

BBB — is on a couple of different social media’s but is kind of an old soul and doesn’t really get any of it. Has some YouTube videos up of his highlights through his career. Instagram is mostly videos of him training (which Bambi definitely shows her friends to flex how hot her man is)

Parent Trap — This man knows everything there is to know about internet safety. His children are menaces and have outsmarted him more than once, so he doesn’t play when it comes to internet access. Child safe access only. His social media presence is pretty quiet since he’s trying to be a good role model for safe practices online.

Op Apollo Jake — Was pretty normal about his social media use. Like he was on it, posted now and again, kept up to date with his friends. Went ghost after he left the Navy, deleted it all together after he joined the Secret Service

*leaving safe zone Jake nd Rooster out for obvious reasons*

[elliethesuperfruitlover]

I Never Told You What I Do...in general

A/N: It’s very me of me to come back out of.....everything with a very self-indulgent fic because of......normal teen problems? Anyways feel free to ask me my qualms about being ND and being jealous of people in relationships.Title is an MCR reference. Also yes this is accurate, I do in fact have an APUSH quiz tomorrow and I’m writing this instead of doing my reading.

Warnings: implied masturbation, mild suggestive jokes, a little test anxiety, making out, spoilers for the movie Spree

Tag List: @bisexualnathanyoung, @super-unpredictable98

“Luci, I literally came over to your house to study, and you did better than I did on the review. It’s literally history and you know how your dad is. You’ve got this.”

“I know, I just feel this....grossness in my chest about it,” he replies, fist on his chin. “Almost like-”

“You can’t breathe? Yeah, I know, that’s the inevitable test anxiety I’m afraid.” you reply, patting his hand. Lucien puts his hand over-top yours and gently rubs it. A rare smile pops up onto his face, one that goes up to his eyes.

“Thanks babe.”

The late bell rings, and the door to the classroom closes. The quiz papers are passed out, and before you know it, you’re 15 questions deep and writing down short answers. Across from you, Lucien’s leg is bobbing up and down, but his pencil is moving, and he seems to be on the last page of the test.

“Who were two writers who emerged from the Second Great Awakening? Explain one of the writer’s beliefs, and how they differed from initial American beliefs.”

  You read the question a few times before it processes in your mind, and you get to writing. “Ralph Waldo Emerson and Henry David Thoreau; Thoreau wrote about how nature is a gateway to the greater individualism that secular utopian societies encouraged. America is known for it’s hive mindset, and the belief that nature is something to be connected to, rather than to exploit, directly opposes that.”

You move onto the next question, and before you know it, you’re on the last question of the quiz. Just as you finish it, a fire drill goes off. “Fire drill on a Friday, that’s odd.” you thought to yourself. You make your way out of the classroom door, and catch up to Lucien, who’s a few strides ahead of you.

“Hey Luci honey. How’re you liking the quiz?” you ask him, pinkie in his hand.

“It’s not as bad as I thought it was gonna be. The question about Joseph Smith almost threw me though.” he replied, letting out a huff of air.

The two of you make your way to the baseball field, and you stand in line in front of him. It’s a somewhat chilly day, with cirrus clouds dusting the sky, sun shining. A breeze makes it way into the field, forming goosebumps on your skin. Lucien notices and pulls you closer to him, breath dusting over your skin. You two sit there for a moment, and he holds out an earbud to you.

“You’ll never make me leave, I’ll wear this on my sleeve.

Give me a reason to believe.

So give me all your poison. And give me all your pills.

And give me all your hopeless hearts

And make me ill.”

You close your eyes, and remember the moment you looked at Lucien and went  “Yeah....he’s cool.”

 The first week of school was unnerving for a multitude of reasons. Firstly, new people after a while of being....not near them. Food, romance. “Ew, you thought to yourself.” The gas in your intestines did little to aid you either, but your “I only do every day once.” philosophy was the only thing keeping you from running out of the auditorium doors.

  You sit a chair away from the previous person, and put your head onto your binder, wishing that the day would pass as quickly as it came after open house. (Which you definitely almost didn’t have an anxiety attack at.) A person sits a chair away from you, and you reel at their appearance, and observe the way they slouch in the wooden chair, phone in hand, headphones in ear. Their hair is a pale grey, most of it shaved off.

“Nice outfit.” you reply, looking at his clunky boots with envy.

“Huh? Oh thanks, made it myself.”

You recognized him from the corner of your 1st and 5th period classes, which he usually didn’t actively participate in, giving a half-hearted “here” for attendance at “Bloodmarch”. This, however, was your first time properly speaking to him.

“Yeah, you kinda give off that punk-y vibe. That and I can hear you blasting My Chem from 2 seats over.”

“You listen to MCR?” he asks, earplug ripped from his ear. Nice helix piercing.

“I’m full of surprises man.”

He leans closer to you and begins a full conversation about the emo scene in the early 2000s, and you answer back enthusiastically. He seems really passionate about it, and even as the bell rings, you two keep chatting. “Oh my god, the things I would’ve done to be able to get tickets to Warped tour man.” “Same!! I was the size of a fucking banana at that point. I mentally attended it.”

First period passes in a flash, and Lucien pats your shoulder when you get up.

“We can keep talking at lunch. I have Bio for 4th period and I’ve seen you at lunch, so I think we’re set.” he says, voice slightly muffled by his mask.

“Cool! I’m right outside your class, if I have the teacher right, so it won’t be too much of a trek to get to you.”

You two wave goodbye and part ways, and for the first time in a long time, you find yourself hopeful to hang out with a real person.

As promised, you two talk at lunch, and chat on the way to 5th period, almost getting in trouble for giggling too loud at images of “pickle gerard”.

  The days pass by, and you find yourself looking forward to going to school because of Lucien, talking to him any moment you’re free. When fall break rolls around, he asked you to spend it with him.

“I’m seeing a movie on Saturday, Halloween Ends. You want to come with?” he asks, and you think “Oh fuck, is this a date? I’ve....never been on one. What in the hell do I expect-,”. Shelving that for another time, you agree.

“I’m going to the library first though. Is that cool with your dad?” you ask, skipping a song on a playlist.

“Oh yeah, definitely. He has this huge library in his house, but he loves watching movies, so he’s probably gonna pop in.”

You smile at that, and as 3:30 rolls around later in the day, you meet Lucien downstairs, and he checks his phone, replying to a message. You stand near him, and he grabs your hand, “My dad parks leagues away from where everyone else is, you’re uh....gonna need a guide.”

Lucien was a big fat liar.

His dad, Damien, was about 7 feet away from the entrance of the school, in full Victorian garb. He looks up from his own phone, and his face lights up at the sight of his son.

“Lucien my dear boy! How was your day?” he asks, bringing Lucien into a hug, kissing the top of his head. He grunted at the contact, but his shoulders slumped a few inches, melting into the touch of his dad.

“It was good, a little long because of the testing. But I got to skip 5th period which was a relief because I didn’t feel like shitting my pants (”Language!”) over another test.”

“Luci, that’s one of the 2 classes we share, do you secretly hate my guts?” you retort from behind him, a teasing look on your face. He chuckles and replies with “Only that you can be a real pain....and I hear your guts literally all the time.”

“Oh please, Lucien, I never make beans anymore because of the way the pillows are simply saturated with the flatulence you let out. Now, who’s this?” Damien asks, a hand on his son’s shoulder.

“Just three raccoons in a trenchcoat, sir.” you reply. he seems to push himself out a bit more at the word “sir”, a grin accompanying his face. You set your laptop bag down, and extending your hand for Mr. Bloodmarch to kiss, a custom Lucien reminded you of.

From behind Damien, you see Lucien tap his dad on the shoulder, whispering something in his ear, a blush creeping up his cheeks and neck.

“Oh! I’ve heard so much about you, dear. Lucien talks about you nonstop. He’s never been much of a chatterbox, but when it comes to you, he never seems to run out of words.” Damien said, smile stretching to his eyes, (”Just like Lucien’s.” you think to yourself.) He continues talking, much to Lucien’s display.

 As you walk to the car, Damien quiets a bit, trying to talk as the cars pass by. “I can’t walk, talk, and look for traffic. There’s going to be a smattering of dead vampire upon the pavement I’m afraid.” he jokes, opening the door for you.

“Guests get to pick the music.” Lucien explains as Damien hands you a few CDs, and turns the car on.

 The ride to the library was fairly short, and the three of you headed into the building, and split up. Lucien stopped off at the kid section “I do early childhood development internships, might as well read the source material.” and you and Damien walk up to the YA and Teen section, out of breath from the 4 story walk.

“Damn it, they don’t have Cinderella is Dead.” you mutter to yourself as you peruse through the shelves, pulling the books that catch your eye to the edge of the shelf.

Damien heads to the section you’re in, and gasps excitedly at the manga selection, almost immediately picking a few off the shelves.

“I bind my own fanfiction, you see. I find myself needing more of the main material, and well, here we are.” he explains quickly, finger tapping along the spines of a few copies of “Naruto”. “That may have been too much information.” he replies, looking away quickly.

“Oh no, you’re completely fine. Lucien’s told me about it. And about your home-library. From his description, it sounds absolutely magnificent.” you reply, and it’s clear he appreciates the compliment, as his eyes shine a bit brighter.

“Ah. A word about Lucien and your friendship. I mean not to meddle, but I really do think find that my son is fond of you. Quite fond. He talks about you constantly, dear.” he whispers, looking you in your eye.

“I um....thank you Mr. Bloodmarch. I’m also fond of him. I really enjoy his company. He’s really nice to me, and keeps me sane at school. But you’ve probably heard all that by now.”

“Oh no, I find it interesting. But I do implore you to tell my son these things as well. I fear he may go mad from the times you’ve asked to borrow a pencil, or shared your lunch with him.” he laughs, awaiting an answer.

“I’ll keep that in mind this weekend. Thank you for letting me know.”

 The two of you head over to the DVD section, and at the sight of “Spree” you gasp loudly and snatch it from the shelf, cradling it to your torso. The rest of the searching is much less exciting, and you pick a few other things. Lucien meets the two of you downstairs, and you check out.

“Vegetarian lasagna is on the menu for tonight, dear, I hope you’re not allergic to eggplant.” Damien says, over the notes of Mitski playing from the stereo.

“That’s fine by me!”

  The evening passes by quickly, and you prepare your sleepover with Lucien, plugging spree into Damien’s large television in the sitting room, and devouring your bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream. “I’m the only one who eats it, Lucien thinks it tastes of um, toothpaste and shit, I’m afraid.” You laugh at that, and as Kurt meets his demise, you feel yourself slipping into the warmth of sleep, Lucien’s shoulder serving as your pillow.

  You wake up the next morning in the guest room, and to the smell of pancakes and vegan sausage. Lucien’s even cuter when he first wakes up, you find, as his hair is a mess (and wavy!), and his low voice dips even deeper, reaching molasses territory with how he seems to trap you in his mumbled greeting. I could get used to this, you think, as you dig into your breakfast.

The rest of the weekend passes without a sitch, save for Lucien’s hand touching yours in the too-salty, but so delicious popcorn. You two discuss the movie afterwards, but not before Lucien confesses to you.

“I uh...like you a lot. And I kinda want you to be my partner...or girlfriend....whatever makes you more comfortable.” he mumbles, blush up to his forehead and ears.

“I’d like that a lot Luce....I’d like that a hell of a lot.”

Damien picks you two up, pinkies touching, and he almost cheers from the front seat. (”Finally! Your friends to lovers has been achieved!!!”) You’re pooped by the time you get home, but not pooped enough to neglect yourself of fantasies you’ve held off on thinking about, which may now become a reality.

                                                            ~

You snap back to reality, and Lucien is still chilling on your neck, his arms wrapped around your form. He hums into your neck (albeit uncomfortable, he’s quite tall and gangly, but not immune to achy bones). The all clear is given for the fire drill, and the intercom comes on to alert everyone to grab their things and report to their 6th period classes.

  Lucien hugs you goodbye “See ya at 3:30.” he says, and you head to class, a smile on your face. A lab follows a costing quiz, and you save some of the leftovers for Lucien, who never denies food. “You cooked it babe, even if other people are helped. I’ll gobble it and you down any day of the week.” He, once again, meets you downstairs, and kisses you on the cheek, checking your weekend plans once more.

“Ok so we’re watching The Menu on Saturday, 7pm showing and you’re spending the night, right?” he clarifies, texting the information to Damien, regardless of him being 10 feet away in his car.

“Yeah, that’s good.” you say, feet cracking at the fixed position they’d been in from the day.

  At home, you quickly shower, then proceed to lock your door, and collapse into bed. “Tomorrow can’t come soon enough.” you mutter to yourself, slipping a hand past your sleep pants.

The next day arrives, and you spend most of the day pottering around and getting chores done. Once the clock hits 5:30, you head to the bathroom, and freshen up, and put on something other than night-clothes.

“Got your sleep-clothes, phone, charger, money?” your mom asks.

“Yes.”

“Pocket knife, just in case.”

“Um...we’ll come back to that, but I do have two shoes and two iron fists, so I’m sure that counts for something.”

You arrive at the movie theater and get dropped off at the front entrance. Lucien spots you once you’re inside the building, and gives you another kiss on the cheek.

“You ready to get spooked baby?” he asks, hand entwined in yours.

“Hell yeah I am.”

As the movie shows, Lucien begins shifting more and more towards you, even at one point turning his head into your shoulder, a small scream exiting his mouth.

“Like father like son, huh?”

“Shut. Up.” Lucien states, nuzzling his face into your arm. He stays like that for the remainder of the movie, jumping here and there. Once it ends, he slowly gets up, and keeps you at his side “Just in case any creepy chef tries to threaten me.”

Damien’s waiting at the entrance, and noogies his son, who begrudgingly accepts it. “How was the movie, kids?”

“It was good. Nice and spooky. I wonder if I’ll have enough money to get invited to a murderous dinner...like Clue.” Lucien chuckles at that, and kisses your hand, quieting down on the ride back home.

“Alright so, I’ll be out tonight and part of tomorrow morning. I’ll be with Hugo, as he invited me to a wrestling match, and I’d hate to turn him down. I expect the house not to be on fire, no babies running around....and please eat some real food while I’m gone.” he states, spinning his keys in his hand.

“Mhm!” “Yes, dad!” you two reply, Lucien already heading up the stairs with you in tow.

“I mean it, you better be using protection Lucien, you know where the condoms are!” he shouts, hand cupped around his mouth.

“YES, DAD!” he yells back, red flushed with embarrassment.

He takes you up to his room, and flops down onto his bed, springs creaking. He beckons you with his hand, and you sit across from him, heads almost touching.

“So uh....what do you want to do?” he asks, brown eyes shining in the moonlight let in by his curtains.

“Get these movie germs off first. But after that....I think I want to make out with my boyfriend and watch shitty horror movies.” you reply, sitting up to look him in the eye.

“Sounds like a plan.”

True to your word, as soon as you get out of Lucien’s bathroom, you sit next to him, and he smiles at you, putting his phone facedown on his nightstand. Lucien gently kisses you, hand cupping your jaw. He stays like that for a few moments before moving down to your neck, gently nipping the skin there. 

�� His hand drifts down to your waist, and lifts part of your shirt up, rubbing circles and invisible shapes into the flesh. Your hands tangle into his hair, and play with the few inches of hair on the nape of his neck, gently pulling at it. A quiet noise escapes his lips when you accidentally brush against his lap, breaking away to apologize.

“No no no, you’re good. Just...sensitive is all.” he admits, kiss-swollen lips upturned into a shy grin.

“Just kiss me again, Luci.”

“Yes ma’am.” he replies.

  The rest of the night is spent in intervals of kissing, with the promised shitty horror movies (”HOW DARE YOU CALL KRAMPUS SHITTY!”) playing in the background. He makes you both sandwiches after you separately...finish in his bathroom, and you cuddle up close to him as the opening sequence of “The Addams Family Values” plays.

“Yeah....I could get used to this.” you think again, as you fall asleep at Lucien’s side, face mashed against his chest.

Masterlist

[cheyningdiamond]

Nightmarish Trip

TW// Drugs, Angst, Suggestive Mentions, Death, Alcohol Pls do not read if you're easily upset over things like this. Viewer discretion is advised.

It was a hot night out in Nevada. In the bunker, Dallas remained to himself while Roxxie and the rest of the crew were out gathering supplies. The gang knew Dallas wasn’t feeling so well and ushered him to stay put and rest. Dallas however wasn’t pleased with this outcome. He oh so desperately hated being alone… With a heart aching sigh, Dallas decided to sit up and reach under his bed. He pulled out a familiar glass object. Staring down at the pipe, Dallas pulls out a lighter. It probably wasn’t the best thing for him to do, but hey, whatever it took for him to feel less shitty, right? With a few puffs, Dallas set it down on the nightstand next to him and laid back. The demon’s eyelids grew slightly heavy as he watched the world around him spin and change. He felt a bit sick to his stomach. Probably should’ve checked what he was smoking first… He reached his hand up to try and touch the swirling objects around him. They grew bright in color and Dallas’ hand plummeted down to his side as his eyes closed. When he woke up, he was sitting outside. Things seemed strange though. The area he was in… This wasn’t Nevada. The sidewalk he sat on was paved with a reddish-gray color and the skies were more orange-red then they were a deep, dark red. That’s when Dallas realized something. This wasn’t Nevada. This was Hell. He looked down at his feet, seeing the puddle underneath them. It rippled, showing himself in a normal red flannel shirt and jeans. The golden hoop clip-on rings on his horns shimmered in the Hellish lighting. “I-I haven’t seen this shitty outfit in forever…” He mumbled. The puddle rippled more and slowly, he saw two figures behind him. Defensively, Dallas reeled around, only to find a demon with long pink hair and a pink dress, and another demon with black hair and only black jeans. The incubus blinked a few times, staring. “R-Rocks? Diesel??” The pink haired demon smiled and walked closer, putting her hand on his shoulder. “Hey, don’t sweat it. You got us, yeah?” The muscular one spoke up. “Yeah! Forget what that asshole told you. Honestly, You deserve way better than him…” “Him?” He gently took Roxxie’s hand off his shoulder. “Okay, who the fuck is him?? What are you two talking about?” Just then, Dallas was suddenly reeled back by his arms and forced against the wall, shutting his eyes from the impact.. When he opened his eyes, they grew almost as big as tennis balls at the figure before him. The man had a snake-like tail and a devilish grin. He wore a stained white tank top and ripped jeans and held a bottle of alcohol in his hand. “S...Stripes…” Dallas shook his head. No, no no no, he needed out of here. Now! Dallas tried to run, but was grabbed and pulled back. “Augh- fuck! Let go, jackass!” He kicked at him, growling loudly. “Babe…” He spoke calmly, making Dallas shut his eyes tightly. He knew what he was gonna say next. “Fuck, don’t say it. Don’t say it…” He whispered. His blood boiled for just remembering this moment. “I think maybe we should split. You just aren't what I need in my life. I need a better ma…"

Dallas went to turn and slap him, but when he did, he saw Stripes lying on the floor. A chunk of his neck was ripped off and Dallas tasted copper in his mouth and felt a hot liquid dripping down his chin. He looked down at his bloodied lips and his eyes widened as parts of his ex’s flesh were in his mouth. Dallas spat it out, wiping his lips. He felt his body seething with rage, but he couldn’t force himself to attack anymore. Dallas heard sirens similar to screams outside of the house. Everything became hazy and changed around him once more. He came to, staring at his hands. They were handcuffed together and he saw that he was in an orange jumpsuit. He heard talk all around him and looked around. He was in a filled courtroom and he noticed Roxxie and Diesel in handcuffs as well. The bangs of the gavel ringed his ears and made him flinch. “Order! Order!!” Dallas looked up at the judge. Sitting in the witness stand next to the judge was the bitten and beaten corpse of Stripe. He just stood there, staring at Dallas. “Dallas Haze…” The judge’s voice made Dallas glance up at them fearfully. “You have created some terrible crimes, but none can overcome this… Murdering a man of our satanic forces here in Styx City.” “D-Demons can’t die, jackass… He should’ve came back by now! I was framed for him goin' missin'!!” “He had been missing for months now… Who knows what you did with his corpse, you sick bastard…” “I didn’t do shit-!” “ENOUGH!” Dallas flinched as a high-piercing sound rang in the incubus’ ears. “As punishment for your sinful acts, we, the court, have found that even Hell isn’t a fitting punishment… You and your little friend group here will be shot and sent to purgatory, where you will NEVER reunite again!” He slammed his gavel and Roxxie and Diesel panicked. “Dallas!” Roxxie screamed out, trying to run. She was grabbed by the guards and was dragged back. Diesel roared and kicked, hissing and struggling as the guards had mercilessly beaten him until he was unconscious to drag back. “Diesel! Roxxie!” He ran to try and help them, but was jumped and pinned down by the other guards. With a swift, hard punch to the face, Dallas woke up in the interrogation room. Before him was a woman with candy red skin and had a bow on her head. It was Halt… But- how? She was always stuck in the same body as Sloh and Goh… She looked at him with a saddened look on her face. “Dallas… At least tell us where the body is... “ “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about! I left his ass at the house!” She shook her head. “You know that ain’t true…” “I’m not lying, dammit!” Dallas barked. “Someone else got him ‘cuz it isn’t me!” Halt’s voice echoed within the cold, dark walls. “We gave you a chance, Dallas… You ruined everything for yourself.” The lightbulb above them blew out and Dallas’ vision returned with him being forced onto the ground with his hands tied to his back. He turned around to see the face of a familiar green demon staring down at him with a shotgun pointed at him. “G-Goh!?” He struggled, trying to break free. His body then suddenly froze as he stared up at the barrel of the weapon. With a roar and distorted voice, Goh snarls. “You dug your grave…” He cocked his gun.

“N O W L A Y I N I T …!!!” With a loud shot being fired, Dallas felt something heavy hit his face. With free hands, he brushed away what had been dirt. He frantically looked around and saw that he was in a deep, open grave. “Wh… Wha- Augh-!” Trying to stand, he was thrown back down by another pile of heavy dirt. He looked up and saw Sloh staring down at him coldly with a dirt-covered shovel in their hands. It was raining and storming now… “Sloh-!” He coughed up dirt that had fallen into his mouth. “No- Nonono this can’t be it…! No-!” He moved the dirt aside and tried to crawl up, scratching at the walls around him to try and escape. “Sloh, don’t…! I don’t deserve this…! I didn’t do anything…!” Sloh looked down at him. One singular yellow eye glowed in the night as a crack of lightning flashed behind them, showing the shadows of the figure’s body. With a cold and monotone voice, they spoke. “This is your fate, Dallas… You were a dead man from the start… You…” They pointed beside his grave, staring at the two other graves he had already buried. “And your friends…” Dallas’ eyes widened at that statement. Tears streamed down his face in horror. He wanted to scream, but he had no words. He stared in shock and his dirty body shook. His body was so cold... He felt so sick… Sloh had no remorse as they shoveled more and more dirt onto him as he screamed and pleaded and desperately tried to crawl out. The dirt covered his view and he was in total darkness. He felt his heart drop and heard it beating slower and slower. Finally, the beating stopped and there was total silence…

At the end of a dark tunnel, a light showed. Dallas’ feet felt like he was walking through wet concrete. He slowly walked towards the light and he could see that the bright white light engulfed his vision. Before him, he saw a familiar figure in a white lab coat standing facing away in the distance. Dallas felt all his stress slowly fade as Jeb stood there, staring off into the distance. “H-Holy shit… J-Jeb…!” He rushed after him, reaching a hand out. “Jeb- I don’t know what’s going on… We need to get the fuck out of here!”

The demon exclaimed, getting about a few feet closer before realizing something was wrong. “Jeb? Jebediah, come on! Christoff!” Jeb’s back suddenly arched all the way back with a sickening cracking noise. His usual red eyes dripping a black substance, as was his nose and mouth. Slowly, the skin on his face melted off, revealing a red skeleton. Just like he had found him ages ago during the war. “Sh-Shit…!!” Dallas backed away, terrified. “Goddammit, get me out of here…!!” He screamed, running away from the mangled figure. His heart raced as black fire spurted out of Jeb’s mouth. Dallas ran as shadows began filling the room he was in. He hit a wall and started to pound his fists against it. “Let me out…!” They got closer.

“Let me out…!”

And closer...

“LET ME OU-…!!!” Dallas’ scream was cut off as the shadows engulfed his entire body, leaving him in darkness once again. … ... ... With a familiar voice, and deep chuckle, dread filled his mind. “͔͇͚́Y͎̘̺͇̙o͈͙̘̞u͍̮̝̪’̸̞͔͍ṛ̨̱̟̪e̡̝̩ ͎͉̩̟̯̗̗ ̵̪͎̳̗ ͏N̴̺̻̗̭̼̬̬O͖̳̫̥̹̻̮T̲͔H̦I̴̯̳̠̮̼̺N҉̭̩͓̬G̹͖̬̝̝ ̹̜̹̟͖ ͉̤̕ ̖t̼o̷̘͙ ̛m̷̜̯̘e̠̪͍̤, ̩͕̜̘͎̫D͖̱̞̥a̡̬̪ḽ̛̬̘̱̮ͅl͎̼͙̖͔͇a̱̳̠̼̺̹̙͞s̀…̩͇̹̙̫̮͜”̨̯̬͉ͅͅ Dallas shot up with a gasp. Clutching his chest, he felt his heart nearly beat out of it. He looked around frantically with a throbbing headache. He was inside of his bedroom, half dressed with only black pajama bottoms on. He panted and shut his eyes, trying to calm himself down. He slowly glanced at the glass bong on his nightstand. A loud shattering sound was heard a few seconds later as the bong made contact with the wall near the door, breaking it instantly with the sheer force of the throw. He breathed heavily, staring down at the broken glass with anger. His hands shaking at the sight as he tried to process what had just happened… He closed his eyes and felt tears slowly running down his face. His head and body throbbed with pain and stress. Dallas pulled his knees up to his chest and buried his face in his knees. Dallas wasn’t much of a prayer, but God. He prayed that Roxxie and the gang were safe out there in the hellish lands of Nevada.

[sugarbutterbroadway]

A New Kelly

“We need to talk,”Davey said, setting down his backpack. Jack froze, pdf on his laptop immediately forgotten. He tried to keep his face neutral but his mind was doing a frantic recap of everything he’s said and done in the past week. The worst part was that it kept coming up negative, which made him even more nervous. He forgot to pick up Luna’s poop outside yesterday but they had both laughed it off, so they were fine, right? It couldn’t have been about the poop, right? His face must have betrayed him because Davey took one look at him and winced.

“I phrased that wrong”He said, “I’m not mad at you about anything, i’m just tired and can’t speak”

“Not even about the poop?”Jack asked in a tiny voice. Davey scrunched up his face and took a seat on Jack’s lap, letting out a sigh.

“You’re the one who stepped in it, why would I be mad?”he asked. Jack shrugged and wrapped his arms around Davey’s waist pulling him closer. Davey toed off his shoes and lifted his legs onto the couch.

“What did you want to talk about, my love?”Jack asked, placing a kiss on his shoulder. Davey sighed and grabbed one of Jack’s hands. Jack took that as a sign to attempt being serious and looked at him.

“Jack”He said, squeezing Jack’s hand. “I want another baby”

Jack sputtered, “What do you mean another?”

“Well Luna’s getting older and I just think that a little sibling would teach her some responsibility-”

“Who has the new puppy?”Jack groaned, rubbing his eyes. Davey grinned and wiggled a bit trying to get his phone out of his pocket. 

“Specs and he’s so cute, look!”He said, shoving the phone in Jack’s face. It was Specs instagram definitely, the bright yellow theme was indication enough. Jack gently grabbed the phone and hummed as his eyes scanned it. He let out a noise of triumph, yup that was definitely a puppy. It was a candid shot of Jojo mid laugh on the floor with the puppy curled up in his lap. Jack looked up at Davey with a raised brow, and Davey groaned reaching both hands up to cup Jack’s face.

“His name is Percy!”he continued, squeezing Jacks’s cheeks.“That’s so fucking cute babe, just look at him! His paws are too big for his body!”

Davey continued to coo but Jack’s mind was still reeling. He didn’t know why he felt so disappointed. Sure he was scared shitless at the mere thought of a human baby, but a tiny part of him was hoping that’s what Davey meant. He leaned back into the couch and let his arm go slack around Davey’s hip.

“-nd I know that we just saw them a few months ago but would it be so bad to vis--babe?”He said. 

“Hmm?”Jack hummed. Davey shifted a bit in his lap so he was somewhat facing Jack and poked at his cheek.

“You’re frowning”

“Am not”Jack frowned.

“Are too”He said, poking the creases in his forehead. Jack let out a groan and opted to bury his face in Davey’s shoulder. Davey clicked his teeth and rolled off of Jack's lap--much to his disappointment--onto the couch.

“What’s the matter?”He asked.

“Nothing”Jack waved off, “My mind is just somewhere else” “Where?”he asked, leaning his head on Jack’s shoulder. “I wanna go too” “Santa Fe,”Jack said, rolling his eyes.

“Yeah right”He snorted, “You haven’t wanted to go to Santa Fe since you figured out that it was desert land”

“Not true!”Jack exclaimed, “I obviously wanted to stay for my loving boyfriend-” “And you’re scared of spiders”He said, snuggling closer into Jack’s side. “But, come on Jack. I thought we didn’t keep secrets”

“Fine”Jack sighed, “I want a divorce”

“Again, nice try”He snorted, “please Jackie, for me?”

“Davey…”

“Please”

“Alright alright!”Jack exclaimed, “Enough with the eyes. Christ you Jacobs are spoiled”

“No, we just know how to get what we want”He smirked, tucking a leg under his butt. “Now spill”

“You’re restless,”Jack pointed out.

“And you’re still avoiding the question”He said, “whatever it is can’t be that bad”

Oh but it can, he wanted to say.

“I…”Jack said and took a deep breath, “I want a baby”

Davey blinked, “I thought you didn’t want another puppy?”

“No!”Jack whined, shaking his head. “No no, Luna is enough. I...I want an uh..an actual baby...with you” god he was being so awkward.

Davey’s eyes widened slightly but he smirked. “Should we go try for one?”

“Stop teasing me!”Jack whined, “But is..is this something you want Davey? Like do you think we’re ready for a baby?”

Davey just stared at him.

“You’re making me nervous, Davey”Jack chuckled, “You’re not speaking, that’s weird”

“You’re an asshole,”He said.

Jack’s heart stuttered. “W-what?” “You’re an asshole because now me and Spot owe Race fifty dollars”He grumbled. “How could you do this to me?” “I’m not following,”Jack said after a few moments of trying to pick his jaw off the floor.

“Of course I want a baby with you”He said, grabbing Jack’s hand. “I’ve only been dropping hints since the day we got married!”

“What hints!”Jack exclaimed, “I’m so confused”

“I’m always holding the babies at any family function”He started, “I’m always offering to babysit Chanah and Anika and Damien-”

“I get it, your family is huge”Jack said, Davey gave him the side eye.

“We have a spare room that I have been guarding with my life!”he continued, “we have a literal baby name book in here-”

“You said it was so we could name Luna!”Jack sputtered.

“And that’s how she ended up with the most human name ever!”He laughed, “Our dogs name is Luna Anne Kelly-Jacobs”

“It’s a cute name!”

“Face it Jack, I’ve been dropping hints”He huffed, “And now i’m short fifty bucks so thanks a lot”

“Well why were you guys betting on me!”Jack asked, “You know better than to bet with Race on anything”

“We wanted to see who would cave first, me or you”He said, “I obviously thought it was gonna be me because you’re dense-”

“Hey!”

“But then you get all nervous and cute saying you want a baby!”he finished, chest heaving. “Which is simultaneously the most attractive and dumbest thing you’ve ever done”

“I...I don’t know what to say,”Jack said. There were a lot of things he could have said, but his brain had turned to mush.

“Just...sometimes you are very clueless”He giggled, “I thought I was going to have to spell it out for you on the fridge or something”

“So you really want a baby?”Jack said, “With me?”

“No, I want a baby with Specs”he scoffed.

“Hey”Jack warned, “Specs is an attractive man, you got somethin you want to tell me?”

“Of course I want a baby with you, idiot”He rolled his eyes. “Adoption or surrogacy or fostering I...I don’t care. I think you’ve been an amazing parent to Race,Charlie and Luna, and you’ll be an amazing parent to whatever kid comes through this door. You sell yourself short Jack”

“Says you”Jack snorted, “You see the way you are with those babies? You’re like a completely different person, it makes my heart do weird shit”

“Makes your heart do weird shit”He quoted, “Now I feel like that should’ve been your vows”

“Yeah?”Jack smirked.

“Yeah, it’s completely on brand”He said.

“So this is...this is something we’re doing”Jack said, “We’re gonna have some babies?”

“Woah there buddy”He said with wide eyes, “How did a baby turn into some babies?”

Jack waved him off, “Potato tomato”

“That’s...that’s not even the saying”He said slowly, “But let’s start with one”

“Two”

“One”

“Three”

“One”

“One and a half!”

“You can’t have half a baby!”He exclaimed.

“Well you can if you try hard enough!”Jack fired back.

“Unbelievable”He said, rubbing his eyes. “You’re unbelievable, why did I marry you?”

“For Medda”Jack said, with a serious face. Davey shrugged and laid his legs over Jack’s lap.

“Medda is pretty awesome”

“We’re gonna have a baby”Jack repeated.

“Yes we are”He said, “But let’s take this one step at a time, yeah? I don’t want to overwhelm you-”

“I’m gettin the baby book!”Jack exclaimed, bolting up from the couch. Before Davey had the time to process Jack was running back into the livingroom at full speed. He skidded to a halt but ended up toppling over onto Davey’s stomach.

“Bastard”He wheezed, pushing at Jack’s shoulders. Jack stuck his tongue out and made himself comfortable flipping through the book.

“What are you-”

“Shh”Jack hushed, furrowing his brows. His eyes scanned the pages until they found what they were looking for.

“Aha!”Jack said, sitting up so Davey could get a good look. There appeared to be four names messily scrawled in red ink at the bottom of the page. Davey wanted to scold him for defacing the book but his scolding soon died in his throat when Jack spoke up.

“I-I know your peoples are important to you so I wanted to add some more...ya know, traditional names in there”Jack said fiddling with the pages, “I got a boys and a girls name and just-they’re so pretty Davey”

“Just when I thought I couldn’t love you anymore”He murmured, placing a kiss on Jack’s temple. “You picked good, baby”

Elsie and Salem were scribbled in Jack’s messy handwriting. “I really like these two, but what are these other ones?”

“I mean i’m Irish I guess”Jack mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. “Both of my folks were and I didn’t really get to learn anything and just-”

“You want our baby to grow up knowing what their parents are,”He said. He grabbed the hand Jack was fiddling with and intertwined them. 

“Yeah”Jack said, squeezing his hand. “Exactly”

Davey leaned forward and pressed a finger against a name Jack hadn’t written. “This one, how do you say it?”

“Saoirse?”Jack said,

“Saoirse”He repeated slowly, “Saoirse...I..I really like that one”

“Yeah?”Jack said.

“Yeah”He chuckled, “Yeah I really like this one a lot”

“Saoirse Kelly-Jacobs”Jack said, with a grin. “It’s kinda growing on me”

“Saoirse Kelly-Jacobs”He said, “I’m not even mad you snuck your last name in there”

“Should we add it to the list then?”

“No, Jack I think it’s the one”He said.

“Really?”

“Really!”Davey said, “Saoirse Kelly-Jacobs”

“Saoirse Kelly-Jacobs”He whispered, squeezing Davey’s hand even tighter.

“God, we can’t wait to meet you”

A/n someone should try and count how many times Davey fidgets in this fic. Also comments do be kinda nice

[secretblog1212]

Late night kisses

Do you think you could do kiribaku with lee Bakugou please? ~anon

Believe it or not, Bakugo Katsuki was cuddly on the occasion. At least when he was sure no one would be able to see it, which goes to explain how now, at three am on a Saturday he is laying on his boyfriends chest half asleep and grumbling out replies as his red riot obsessed loser talks to him about anything and everything that comes to mind.

It had almost become a routine, during the week they would do their work, sleep in their own rooms and all of that (most of the time at least) and then on the weekends they would be able to get away for a couple of hours unnoticed by the others, no one would mention how they both left from the same room or if they were holding hands as the blind stumbled his way into the living area.

He was just about to nod off when the end of a sentence caught him off guard. “-nd cute. I wish you would smile and laugh more babeee.” Kirishima all but whined.

“Wai’ huh?”

“Oh shoot, sorry I thought you were asleep already babe. Go to bed sleepy.”

Katsuki felt his face heat up as he registered the nickname. He would never get used to that but he had more important matters to deal with at the moment. “ No, no wait what did you say?”

“Oh… umm. Well I-I just was saying that your laugh w-was really cute, your smile too. You don’t smile or laugh much around the others though.”

He’d be lying if he didn’t say he felt his face flush even darker then it already was. “Oh…” he breathed. “Then get funnier you asshole.” Me mumbled before shoving his face back into the crook of Kirishimas neck.

He felt the boy chuckle under him, “be careful babe, I know just how funny I can get. I bet I could even get you to have that cute little snort if I wanted to really badly. So watch it.”

Bakugou could tell he was being baited, but it wouldn’t really be called bait if it didn’t reel him in. “Fucking bet, shitty hair. A-and I don’t! Don’t talk about that… fuck face.”

All the other did was shift around a little, moving his hands to Bakugous lower back and ina second of tired daze Katsuki was laying on his back, Kirishima hovering over him, hands pinned in one of The red heads large ones, hardened to keep the explosive boy still, and leaning down to place a kiss starting at the left cheek and moving over the bridge of Katsuki nose, to the right then finally to his lips.

It was minutes of kissing later, the competition all but pushed to the back to Katsukis mind when he felt hands previously bracing his boyfriend from falling completely on top of him start to move as the boy laid his chest onto the blondes, not breaking the kiss start to trace up and down his side.

For all that it’s worth, Bakugou did try to shift away, and hold back the small tired giggles but let’s be real, even he knew he was hopeless, not that he would ever admit that.

It wasn’t long before the two were kissing through the soft giggles gliding from the brash boys throat.

The hand never left the right side it started on, moving at the same, agonizingly slow pace, but nevertheless causing more and more giggles to run for their freedom to be heard. Faster and faster they came the longer his side traced up and down. Up and down.

Soon enough they had to stop their kisses, it was hard to do when both of them were smiling as hard as they were. The blond still shifting back and forth, up and down trying to get some kind of change. “Stahap. Either fahaster or stop.”

“What?” The voice whispered into his ear, tickling the side of his neck. “Can’t take anymore?”

He decided it best not to answer till the fingers stilled and his own laugher stopped, when he felt like he was ready to talk again he felt all of his boyfriends body weight press onto him, finally the red falling asleep after hours of chatting, not that Bakugou minded.

He took his hands from where Kirishima limply held them and wrapped them into the soft droopy spikes falling into his own slumber not even five minutes later.

And if the next morning they walked out of the same room, holding hands and stumbling around, no one said a thing.

[redvelvetreel]

Red Velvet Reel 6.1: Cele-BRAT-ion!

                      [Fic Directory]

Pairing: [Married] Spicyhoney (Underfell Papyrus x Underswap Papyrus)

Summary: Eight skeletons walking into a bar seems like the perfect setup for a joke. Too bad the punchline seems to have been Stretch's expectations of a fun little get-together with friends.But hey, what's a few baited taunts, stupid posturing, escalatory challenges, heated arguments, well-meaning scolding, clever puns, veiled threats, unnecessary bets, and borderline fights between cross-dimensional clones?

Characters: Edge (Underfell Papyrus) & Stretch (Underswap Papyrus) & Red (Underfell Sans) & Blue (Underswap Sans) & Classic (Undertale Papyrus) & Comic (Undertale Sans) & Slim/Puppy (Swapfell Papyrus) & Black (Swapfell Sans) & some poor random waitress lol. 

Contains: Mpreg/Skelepreg! Meeting up in a (sports) bar! Everyone talks a lot and never shuts up! (A little) Stupid Fellverse posturing and antagonism! Lots of headcanons! A little betting and drinking?

Rating: Teen and up! (I guess?)

Note:  Hah, a labor of love that I’m still not satisfied with but! Enjoy!

Underswap Papyrus – Stretch             Underswap Sans –  Blue Underfell Paprus – Edge                     Underfell Sans – Red Swapfell Papyrus – Slim/Puppy          Swapfell Sans – Black Undertale Papyrus – Classic              Undertale Sans – Comic

Stretch squinted into dimly lit bar, past the dancers that seemed to be having an increasingly good time, “Yeah, I don’t see them-“

“It’s been 30 minutes,” Edge sounded completely nonplussed, scanning the drink menu almost languidly, “Unless the Tale ‘verses and your brother are such...” He paused, tilting his head with a pensive hum, “Weightless drinkers?”

“Lightweights, Babe,” Stretch corrected automatically, popping himself into his tiptoes as if that would help him spot their friends in the crush of monsters and people. Unsurprisingly, it didn’t help much.  “And we’re late because you didn’t even start getting ready until 7, so I wouldn’t go around casting stones-“

“Mhm,” Edge flipped the drink menu over with a distracted hum, tapping at something with his claw, “They have Honey Mead here.”

“Awesome.” Stretch sighed again, using his hands to shade his sockets, “Like, Seriously, I know you like to look good- and you always do- but I just don’t get why you waited until the last minute. What, the ~*Captain of the Royal Guard*~ needs to be ~*fashionably late*~ to everything?”

“It’s an easy way to make a memorable entrance and an impression,” Edge sniffed primly, gesturing at the area behind his husband with an incline of his head, “And all attention is on you- sometimes before you even realize it.”

Stretch finally caught sight of Blue, who was now standing up and waving emphatically from a corner booth. Along with several other familiar faces who were starting to wave too.

“Papy, over here! I mean, Stretch! Edge!”

Stretch grabbed Edge by the hand before he could look too smug, pulling him along to the end of the table quickly, “Good evening, folks, you’re looking snug as can be.”

“Just so! They was thinkin’ ya wasn’t gonna show!” Red held his tankard up in greeting, sloshing some of the contents on the table right next to Classic. “I real know my Ñaño eh?! Shoulda bet on it, heh!”

“Yes, yes, you were right. I’ll just-“ Classic took Blue’s napkin, daintily dabbing at the spot with a long suffering expression. That definitely wasn’t the first (and certainly not the last) time that happened. Stretch didn’t envy him, being sandwiched between Red and Blue.

“Red-“ Edge started mildly, only to be cut off by a dazzling smile aimed directly at him. Classic waved his arms as though trying to convey it was no problem, but looking more like he was desperately cutting the air, vibrating in his seat as his smile stretched even wider, “It’s fine! This is a negativity free zone! Because!! You! Or you! Neither of you can afford to be stressed whilLE YOU’RE-“

Before Stretch even felt his hand go empty, Edge was in the booth- knee in between Slim’s legs, half-draped over Blue, and both hands covering Classic’s mouth.

“Hey-!” Blue started to complain, wriggling away until he met Stretch’s pleading expression, settling down wordlessly, but very sulkily.

“Your enthusiasm and excitement are noted and appreciated,” Edge sounded amused, even as he rotated his hands so his fingers were clamping the excited skeleton’s mouth shut, “But this is privileged information. Your discretion is mandatory!”

Eyes still bulging in surprise, Classic nodded quickly, looking a little worried.

Stretch cleared his throat, giving his counterpart a thumbs up with a wink, “We knew we could count on Ambassador Papyrus.”

That did it. Classic nodded emphatically, eyes sparkling with excitement (or tears?) as he quickly broke Edge’s hold to clasp his hands passionately.

“I understand! You can count on me!” Classic tried his best to whisper, but it was still loud enough the table behind them collectively winced and hunched into themselves. “I am a master at keeping secrets, state or otherwise! But! Congratulations! To both of you!”

“Thanks man,” Stretch made a little heart with his hands, “Classic, you’re a class act.”

“I’m not sure how I feel about that sentence,” the other skeleton narrowed his eyes suspiciously with a frown, before brightening immediately, “But you’re welcome!”

Edge managed to take his hands back at that point, straightening his spine and looking down at Slim primly, “Puppy.”

If Slim was at all disturbed at having Edge towering over him, practically sitting in his lap, he gave no outward indication. He simply ducked his head in greeting while still being almost completely engrossed on the baseball game playing over the bar.

“Oh, sit, sit!” Classic firmly (but gently) yanked Edge down into the new space between Slim and Blue, motioning Stretch to do the same, “Both of you! Being on your feet for too long isn’t healthy for, um, the um-“

“The VIP.... or VIB, as it were,” Comic offered with a wink, sliding closer to Black and patting the spot next to him with a lazy smile, “We’re all sorta family here, so make yourself at home, Big guy.”

Stretch grinned, sidling up next to Comic and slinging an arm over his shoulders, “Thanks, lil’ guy, you’re a great berson.”

Comic put his arm around Stretch’s back with a chuckle, fingertips just barely visible over the fabric, “Blease, pro, you’re gonna make me plush.”

“Ughhhh.” Black finally broke his silence with a sneer, the corners of his mouth twitching in annoyance even as he stubbornly refused to acknowledge anyone. Stretch idly wondered if those two were really that passionate about baseball, or if it was just a convenient distraction. Black’s posture was stiff and straight, while Slim was steadily curling on himself, like they just felt incredibly out of place and uncomfortable. Welp, time to make things more inclusionary then.

“Ok!” Stretch rubbed his hands together, “Now that we’re all here, let’s open this lil’ shindig properly! You ready, Babe?”

Stretch received that incredulous look Edge had been perfecting over the course of their relationship, rolling his eyes with unnecessary emphasis of how put upon he was... before doing exactly as he was asked. Edge drummed on the table, steadfastly avoiding eye contact with everyone else, as Stretch grinned and swept his arms out dramatically.

“Friends, family, and emotionally- repressed multidimensional assholes who aren’t sure why they’re here-“ Black smiled at that, putting all of his sharp teeth on display. It was deeply unsettling. “It is my pleasure and honor to officially announce the newest addition to our little family-“

Edge stopped drumming on Stretch’s cue, expression carefully blank but with that slight twitch to his mouth that meant he was trying very hard not to smile. “Pancake! They’ll be having their debut bash in February, probably, so keep your sockets out for the deets. Thanks for coming to celebrate with us, it means a skeleton.”

Classic gasped loudly, eyes bulging out of wide sockets, “Pancake?! Like the food?! Are- are you really-“ He withered when Edge turned his head to glare at him directly, “Um! That’s really creative! And very, very cute! I mean that, honestly! What, uh, what inspired you both to call your child Pancake?!”

“It’s a nickname,” Blue answered for them with a slight toss of his head, a note of irritation in his tone, “And I agree! My brother is a very creative and cute monster himself, so of course his child is going to have the most adorable and creative nickname, too!” Just as quickly, his voice lost that edge and he was all smiles again, dreamy stars in his eye sockets, “My little nibling is going to be the best monster ever! Have the best name ever! We’re gonna have the best time together!”

Blue looked down at the table with furrowed browbones, smile becoming less sure as he turned towards his brother-in-law, “That’s ok, right, Edge?”

To his credit, Edge was able to force down his surprise before it became too obvious, giving Blue a decisive nod. “Of course,” his voice had the usual bravado and self-assurance, but Stretch could hear the uncertainty in the undertone, “In fact, I’ll be counting on you to keep Red from getting them into unreasonable mischief. ”

“Just the regular, reasonable kind of mischief, then?” Blue asked wryly, but his smile was weak, clearly disappointed with the answer.

“If they take after me,” Edge puffed out his chest proudly, slipping into his more boisterous persona as he gestured with his hand dramatically. He was obviously uncomfortable, too, unable to interpret Blue’s new mood, “That will be inevitable!”

It was awkward and stilted, and Stretch found them both glancing in his direction for guidance, but they were trying. His husband and brother were trying very hard to actively get along, after months of bare minimum pleasantries and steadfastly avoiding each other. Stretch couldn’t help tearing up, wiping at the edge of his sockets with a sniffle.

“That confirms that then,” Black sniffed dismissively, resting his chin on his palms as he leaned against the table, “But it’s not much of a victory if you have to share it.”

“Huh?” Stretch dabbed at his eyes with the handkerchief Blue had passed him, distracted by the feel of Edge’s boot brushing along his femur. “What?”

“Ya sure, Lil’ Tyrant?!” Red was positively giddy, “Ain’t no one sure who’s knocked up!” He flapped his hands emphatically, clearly several drinks into the evening, “Don’t say nothin’ yet, let ‘em stew!”

“That’s not entirely true,” Blue chimed in from the corner, playing with his bendy straw and pointing it at himself, “Some monsters are sure...”

Red put a hand on Classic’s chest just to push him back far enough to pointedly glare at Blue. Classic smoothed the front of his shirt wordlessly, while Red leaned on the table conspiratorially, “There’s a bettin’ pool.”

Edge smirked in a way that made Stretch uneasy, resting his chin on his hand, “Oh? Well, in that case~”

He called the waitress over, “Two honey meads, some water, and a refill for the table. We’re going to need it.”

“You- or you?! -can’t drink!” Classic looked between them, scandalized, then at Comic for confirmation. Comic nodded sagely. “Yes, see?! Alcohol isn’t as bad for pregnant monsters as other things, but it’s still not good for you! It impairs your concentration, so your magic goes all funny! Yes, fine, there’s debate about its impact on raw, unused magic- but why take the chance if you’re loading a baby?!”

The waitress came back with a tray of drinks and started putting them on the table, hesitating when Blue and Classic glared at the mead. “Thank you,” Edge told her pleasantly, completely ignoring them and taking both himself.

He slid one mug towards Stretch, who took it with palpable unease and hesitation, flinching when Blue smacked his hands down on the table. “Papy, say something! I don’t know what game they’re trying to play, but you shouldn’t just condone it, especially because I don’t think you know either! Don’t just-“

“Shh!” Red crawled into Classic’s lap, putting his hands over Blue’s mouth with a scowl, “Pipe down, Baby Blue- ain’t nothin’ goin’ to happen to the squirt. Wait ‘n listen, ya goddamn goofs-“ He turned to give Classic a stern look too, “Got lotsa shitty stuff in this family, but idiocy ain’t one of ‘em.”

Although Edge managed to keep himself from reacting to the backhanded compliment, his smile was less threatening and more genuine as he ran a claw along the circuit of the mug. “I’m raising the stakes- another drink of equal or greater value to the pool. I’ll take your bet and the reasoning behind it as suitable collateral.”

[Part 1 - Here! ] [Part 2 ] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6]