#knock it the fuck off aren't you tired of this it's been a year man

[monstersinthecosmos]

not for anything but friendly reminder that ~fandom discourse~ about where women belong (or people you perceive as women) is misogynistic as fuck. or what they're allowed to say, or what they're allowed to write about, or what they're allowed to enjoy.

next time you see someone having a tantrum and vaguing, especially if their posts from week to week completely contradict each other, perhaps analyze if the common denominator is "a gross woman said something and now i'm mad" without otherwise adhering to any actual principles.

[gothghostiie]

🫀 john price x reader 🫀

cw: gn!reader x price, rimming/facesitting, scent kink

a/n:@between-supposed-lovers made me do this, just saying

It had been a long day for John, he had been stressed by the ton of paperwork that kept piling on his desk after the last mission and the other boys hadn't been very helpful either. So, when you knocked and shuffled into his office with a glass of his favourite whiskey in your hand he lit up immediately. "aren't you a sight for sore eyes doll?" he hummed softly, waving you over behind his desk with 2 fingers. Naturally you obeyed him, standing next to his desk chair, the smell of smoke already burned into the black leather. He took the glass from you with his right hand, the left snaking around the back of your thighs, feeling you up through your military issue pants. "what brings you here?" he finally asked, taking a long sip off the drink, a low groan escaping his throat from the slight, burning sensation.

"jus' wanted to see you Captain.. check in on you." you replied with a cheeky grin, knowing what it does to him when you called him Captain. "so.. how are you?" despite the teasing tone in your voice you genuinely wanted to know, especially after Kyle told you about the amount of paperwork he had to deliver to Price's office.

A low sigh rumbled in his throat before looking up at you with tired eyes, the dark circles more evident than usual. "fucking stressed." he replied bluntly. "look at this, how the fuck am I supposed to ever get through this without going insane?" with his last words he emptied the glass, setting it down on the table with a loud thud, making you flinch. nonetheless, you ran your hand over the back of his neck, the other placing itself on his tensed up chest.

"you poor man.. you work so hard.." you cooed, making him chuckle a little. his laugh is deep, making his chest vibrate with it, giving you goosebumps all over. after a second you spoke up again, your voice more quiet now. "I could try and make it a little.. easier on you. help you relax." now he looked up at you, an eyebrow raised.

"oh yea? how so?" he asked, a hint of suspicion in his voice. his eyes flickered over your form, trying to read you, figure out what you wanted to do - not in a million years he would've guessed what you wanted.

before he knew it, you laid naked on his bed his bed in his quarters, head on a pillow while he stood next to the bed with his arms crossed, thick cock already semi hard. "are you sure you want this darlin?" he asked again, eyeing you over. his cock twitched. "I don't wanna crush that pretty head of yours."

all you could do wss roll your eyes, shaking his head. "come over here.." you almost commanded, making him raise an eyebrow; yet he walked over and crawled on the bed, kneeling over your head so he could still oggle your body. thick, muscly thighs hugged your head slightly, squeezing you playfully while his calloused hands grabbed your waist.

"don't tell me what to do, love." the pet name almost sounded venomous but there was no room to think with how he suddenly dropped himself onto your face, making you gasp and flinch a little. he sighed and relaxed, giving your waist a squeeze while you took a deep breath, inhaling his scent deeply, immediately making your crotch twitch slightly. it only took a moment for him to start rocking his hips slightly, almost too gentle for him, but just fine for now. a soft sigh escaped him, feeling your hot breath, the structure of your face on his most sensitive and vulnerable parts.

you felt dizzy, eyes rolling back from your own pleasure, pressing your thighs together. the sheer pleasure you got from letting him use you in a humiliating way like that was unbelievable. "enjoying yourself, are you?" He asked in a teasing tome, giving your head a little squeeze with his thighs. "can tell you love me ridin' your face.. already so wet/hard, we barely even started.." he teased playfully, fingers grazing over your sex, drawing a whine from you.

with your mouth open he pushed down further, making your tongue touch his puckered hole. your eyes widened but you immediately understood, taking this as your sign to really dig in. you stuck your tongue out slightly, circling his hole, immediately drawing a moan from him, making him tense up. "there ya go love.." he murmured. "keep going.." even if he'd rather die than admit it, there was a hint of desperation in his gravely voice, fingertips digging into the soft flesh of your waist, slowly scratching up your rips with dull fingernails as your tongue lapped over his hole, making it twitch wildly, more moans spilling from his chapped lips.

he held still, letting you play with him as he breathed heavier, thighs squeezing your head harder as his now hard cock had drops of pre cum bead at the tip. "fuck.." he whispered, voice sultry and even a little shaky, back arching like a cat. you grabbed his big thighs, guiding him down further, wanting him to properly sit, enjoy himself. he opened his mouth to protest, barely getting out the first syllable before you pushed your tongue into his tight hole, making him gasp loudly. "jesus.." he grunted, feeling you tongue fuck him slowly, making sure he feels every little movement, every drag and every bit of spit you leave on his skin.

his fingers dug into your ribs almost painfully, his hips tensing so hard he shook a little, cock twitching as he got closer to cumming. "gonna make me cum doll.. didn't even touch you yet.." he muttered, his words almost laced with guilt. you however didn't care one bit, instead wrapping your arms around his thighs instead of grabbing them; now your hand wrapping around his thick, sticky cock, the other fondling his balls. an almost pathetic, cracked up moan spilled from his lips, making him blush in embarrassment. "darlin-" he tried to speak, but you dipped into his asshole, slightly sucking on the ring, making his brain shut down. within just some more moments his seed spilled all over your torso, a string of curses falling from his lips as he pressed his hips down into your face for a few moments, before slowly lifting himself up. he was hovering over you, both of you equally out of breath from what just happened. you softly kept swiping your tongue over his twitching hole, making him shiver harshly before he finally climbed off of you, much to your disappointment.

"You alright, John?" you asked softly, he stared at you for a mere second before almost throwing himself down at you, lips crashing against yours, trying to taste himself on your lips before whispering against them, praises spilling between the kisses.

[xirayn]

Stonathan Week Day 2: Roommates - Slightly inspired by the video of Charlie Heaton and Joseph Quinn at an Arctic Monkeys concert together.

Steve overhearing Jonathan mention a one-night stand while playing Animal Crossing with Argyle gets him to ask the big question on his mind.

Do I Wanna Know?

written by @xirayn and @aibhlynn

Trying something new by writing screenplays rather than short stories. Feedback on this format appreciated.

INT. APARTMENT – JONATHAN’S BEDROOM – EVENING

A bedroom with a mix of modern and retro decor. It is lived in, but not cluttered. There are posters for the Arctic Monkey’s ‘Tranquility Base Hotel + Casino’ and ‘The Cabin in the Woods’ on the wall. A record player is set on a cube shelf with a milk crate of vinyl records beside a desk with dual monitors. A Nintendo Switch is set up in front of the smaller monitor. JONATHAN is leaned back in a computer chair with a gaming headset on and a controller in his hand. ANIMAL CROSSING is on the screen with characters that are obviously JONATHAN and ARGYLE fishing. JONATHAN’s character pulls up a horse mackerel.

JONATHAN

Great, another horse mackerel. They're barely even worth selling.

ARGYLE

(Through the headset)

Dude, catching the fish is not the goal.

JONATHAN

Maybe for you. I need a surgeon fish for my museum.

ARGYLE

You should have asked me, brochacho. I have, like, five of them in storage.

JONATHAN

That feels like cheating.

ARGYLE

If you say so, my dude.

On the screen, ARGYLE pulls up a moray eel. 

ARGYLE

Score!

JONATHAN’s character gets another bite. It is an anchovy.

JONATHAN

Damn it.

KEVIN, an orange pig in a blue sailor suit complete with hat, comes on screen to seemingly watch them. ARGYLE laughs. JONATHAN glowers.

JONATHAN

Stop judging me, Kevin.

ARGYLE

Dude, are you still pining over Steve?

JONATHAN

I am not, nor was I ever, pining over Steve. I have Olivia around here somewhere for Nancy.

ARGYLE

If you say so, dude. Though, if you aren't looking to knock boots with that fine specimen of a man, I'll gladly take him off your hands.

JONATHAN

You and everyone else. He's out on another date tonight. He even wore his ‘lucky jeans’ that show everything.

ARGYLE

Man, my dude, for someone who says they aren't jealous, you sure are crushing the vibe with your jealousy.

There is a pause filled by the sound of ARGYLE taking a drink. 

ARGYLE

Or is this about Eddie?

JONATHAN

What?

JONATHAN misses reeling in another fish.

JONATHAN

No. This isn't about Eddie. That was - It was just a hook-up after the concert last Saturday. And I'm not jealous or stuck on the fact I was supposed to go to that concert with Steve.

ARGYLE

My dude, your voice does not match your words. It's clear as day, you are hard for Harrington. Why did he miss the concert, anyway?

JONATHAN

A bachelorette party came into the bar when they were already slammed, so he offered to stay.

The fishing rod JONATHAN’s character is using breaks. JONATHAN puts his controller on the desk and scrubs his hand over his face.

JONATHAN

Fuck.

ARGYLE

Fuck because you banged Eddie and not Steve?

JONATHAN is quiet for a long moment, simply staring blankly at the screen. He finally heaves a sigh.

JONATHAN

(Quietly)

I don’t know. Maybe?

ARGYLE

If you could do it over again, would you pick Steve?

JONATHAN

If it wouldn’t mess up our friendship and my living situation or make my life extremely awkward?

JONATHAN hesitates before shaking his head and picking the controller back up.

JONATHAN

Yeah.

JONATHAN misses the sound of the door opening as STEVE comes home early. The LIVING SPACE of the open concept apartment is an eclectic mix that shows STEVE and JONATHAN have been sharing space for a few years. The large flat screen, a graduation gift from STEVE’s parents, is a prominent feature. There is also a record cabinet full of vinyls with a Fisher MC-4550 stereo and a bookcase with authors like Vonnegut and Gaiman. STEVE looks tired and irritated as he takes his shoes off to throw in the closet before heading to his room.

ARGYLE

You worry too much, my guy. Stop being indecisive or worrying he’ll be all weird about your fling with Eddie and get sloppy with your hot roomie.

JONATHAN

It was a drunk one-night stand, not a fling.

STEVE stops outside the partially open door, having heard JONATHAN say ‘drunk one-night stand’. He frowns, then looks guilty and decides to go get a drink from the kitchen where it will be harder to hear JONATHAN.

ARGYLE

One-night stand, fling, either way you boned the metalhead, man.

JONATHAN

I know that, flight just sounds like it was something more than sex.

ARGYLE

Fair

ARGYLE starts running his character in random patterns around JONATHAN’s character, who is doing idle animation as JONATHAN simply holds the controller.

ARGYLE

Was he at least good?

JONATHAN

He knew what he was doing.

ARGYLE

Come on, bro, give me the details of your sordid encounter with the guy across the hall. Eden will want a play by play and I have to please my goddess.

JONATHAN

My sex life is not your foreplay.

STEVE knocks over his cup when his attempt not to eavesdrop fails. Water spills over the tile as the cup clatters on the floor. The sound is loud enough that JONATHAN takes his headset off and turns his chair toward the door.

JONATHAN

Steve?

JONATHAN sets his headset on the desk and pokes his head out of his room. STEVE freezes as if he just got caught doing something wrong.

JONATHAN

How long have you been home?

STEVE

A few minutes.

STEVE grabs the cup and puts it in the sink before taking off his wet socks. He puts them on the floor after looking around to decide an acceptable spot and grabs a dish towel.

STEVE

She stood me up.

JONATHAN

That’s rough ��� Have you eaten yet?

STEVE

No. I came right home when I realized my date was a no show. Have you?

JONATHAN

No. I was going to warm up some leftover, but we can order a pizza. Let me just tell Argyle I’m done for the night, then I’ll clean that up while you put the order in.

STEVE

Okay. The usual from Enzo’s?

JONATHAN

Sure.

JONATHAN goes back into his room and puts the headset back on. He picks the controller up to log off.

JONATHAN

I’m done for the night. I’ll talk to you later, man.

ARGYLE

(In a teasing sing-song)

Have fun, dude.

JONATHAN goes to clean up the spill. STEVE is heading to his room in the background on the phone as he puts in his order. Once JONATHAN is done, he sits on the couch. STEVE emerges from his room shortly after in gym shorts and a tank top.

STEVE

So, did you have fun with your mystery guy?

JONATHAN

You mean the one-night stand I was talking to ARGYLE about?

STEVE

Yeah.

STEVE drops onto the couch and stares at the ceiling. JONATHAN looks at him thoughtfully

JONATHAN

I guess.

There is a long moment of silence. STEVE is obviously debating something while JONATHAN waits for his response. When STEVE finally speaks, he sounds small and keeps his eyes on the ceiling.

STEVE

Why him and not me?

This is very obviously not what JONATHAN was expecting for STEVE to say.

JONATHAN

What?

STEVE sits up enough to look at JONATHAN.

STEVE

Why him and not me? Fuck, dude, I've been trying to gauge your interest for months by wandering around shirtless in those side split shorts I wore to Pride last year.

JONATHAN

I thought that was because of the heat!

STEVE

At first, sure. Then I noticed you staring and thought maybe you were interested, so started doing it more, but you never said anything.

JONATHAN

Of course I didn't! We've been friends since high school. I'm not going to risk that for sex.

STEVE

(Quietly)

Not just sex.

JONATHAN

(Shocked)

What?

STEVE

It won't be just sex. At least, not for me.

JONATHAN

(Cautiously)

Me either.

STEVE laughs and shakes his head. JONATHAN joins him after a beat.

STEVE

Shit. We're both dumb.

JONATHAN

Yeah.

STEVE and JONATHAN look at each other with matching fond smiles. STEVE starts to move in, but JONATHAN’s smile falls and he shrinks back.

JONATHAN

It was Eddie.

STEVE stops. He doesn’t move back, though his smile is replaced by a look of confusion.

STEVE

Eddie across the hall?

JONATHAN nods.

STEVE

The same metalhead who drives you crazy by playing his music too loud?

JONATHAN

Yeah.

STEVE

When?

JONATHAN

After the concert last week. You couldn’t go, and I didn’t want to go alone, so I asked him.

STEVE sits back and rakes his fingers through his hair. He frowns.

STEVE

Yeah, okay. I can see why. Honestly, I’ve thought about it myself, I just – It kind of hurts that it wasn’t me. I’ve been pining after you for months now.

JONATHAN

It didn’t mean anything. We had a few drinks at the concert, then shared a joint after and – 

JONATHAN shrugs.

STEVE

You don’t have to explain anything. I still wish it had been me, though.

JONATHAN

Maybe next concert if you don’t cancel on me.

STEVE leans in again, his voice taking on a teasingly seductive tone as he gets as close as he can without actually invading JONATHAN’s space. Everything about his body language invites JONATHAN to close the distance between them. JONATHAN appears unfazed.

STEVE

Are you seriously going to make me wait?

JONATHAN

At least a first date.

STEVE laughs. His phone rings and he picks it up.

STEVE

Challenge accepted.

(Answers phone.)

Hello. Yep. I’ll be right down.

STEVE hangs up. He heads for the door, opening the closet and putting on some flip-flops. Before he leaves, he turns back to JONATHAN.

STEVE

How about right now? We can do dinner and a movie.

JONATHAN rolls his eyes with a fond smirk.

JONATHAN

Fine, but you have to actually pay attention to the movie, and I’m not answering any questions until after the credits.

STEVE

Deal.

There is a smutty continuation to this that I was not able to edit in time. The entire thing will be up on AO3 when I get to it.

[scenetocause]

i have been summonsed by powerful forces (princess maxy, nadia)

(nsfw, mpreg, has-a-pussy max)

"Maaaaaaax," Lando's extra fucking whiny today and it'd be getting on Max's nerves, if it wasn't also getting him a lot of extra attention. Lando's main focus for whining, in fact, seems to be him - checking on Max's wellbeing, shooting Matt and Kate evil looks when Max threw up after biting the century egg, fussing over him and insisting on checking Max's overalls fitted properly for the karting.

Max is pretty sure the last one was a completely transparent excuse to feel him up, since Lando's now got his stupidly big hands on Max's hips, through the dress and is rubbing his thumbs over Max's hipbones.

"What?" he manages to say, reaching out for Lando, too. "You look more pregnant than I do, now."

Lando wrinkles his nose. "Should you be karting? Like, that can't be good. I can make them get someone else, you don't have to do this - you threw up earlier. I'm sure Ria'd be fine if we-"

"Mate," Max has to stretch his neck to bump their noses together, over the Mario belly and their increasingly noticeable height difference. "I'm fine. Worry about yourself, you dick."

"You should've had the Peach outfit," Lando's frowning. "I don't want you stolen by Steve."

"As if." Max nuzzles him again, not about to start making out behind the shower building but Lando's clearly feeling sensitive, particular, all that skin-prickly stuff Max knows on him so well. "You'll just have to win, make all the princesses swoon over you."

Lando nods much too seriously for something as stupid as what they're doing and Max is struck, for maybe the millionth time in his life, by how much he likes Lando. Fortunately, seeing as there's going to be no getting away from each other for the next eighteen years or so, he's not being a single dad.

"Can you - like, not if it gets ruined or whatever but maybe, you could bring this home? Not the overalls, just..."

"Oh fuck off," he'd known Lando was having some sort of moment over Max in a dress, has always been into dressing Max up, formed a fucking entire company basically specifically for that purpose. But also Max is way too far down the line to not know he's a total simp. "Yeah, alright, I can wear it later. Lose the Mario suit though, the dungarees aren't working for me."

Lando's face splits into a crinkly-eyed grin and a cackle of laughter. "You don't like me like this? In twenty years this is gonna be all real, baby."

"You are not," Max gives up on decency and kisses him quickly, before stepping away - they do have to go and film, after all. "Ever going to be able to grow a mustache. Not even in twenty years."

-

The filming goes well, even if Max is freezing by the end of it and has to suffer through both Lando's completely excessive elation from winning (man's been on a Monaco podium, get over it) and then being draped in blankets and fed tea and listening to Lando scold the team for letting Max be put at risk of a mild cold.

He tries his best to ignore it, as well as some lingering nausea that karting really didn't help and then actually does pack the dress away into his bag, while he's getting changed. If anyone notices him doing it then they're probably already blind from Lando pressing himself right up against Max's back when he was halfway through changing, to trace patterns on Max's stomach. I ♡ you is a cringey message for either Max or the little jumble of cells somewhere in him or both.

If he was a sensible man, which has to allow all evidence points to him not being, he wouldn't have let Lando Norris knock him up. But he has, so this is his life now.

Max is tired by the time they're on the way home. To Max's house, decisions about how they're going to figure their living situation out on hold until the three month scan, at least. Lando drives them and Max snoozes in the passenger seat, waiting to hear the crunch of driveway gravel that means he needs to find his keys.

Lando helps him out of the car and Max doesn't need it but doesn't fight it, either. Neurotic and annoying though Lando's bursts of caring for him can be, he enjoys knowing someone's thinking of him - especially when it's the person he thinks about all the time, too.

By the time they're showered and stripped down for bed he really doesn't want to faff around with a costume that smells of petrol and axle grease. Fortunately, Lando's either forgotten about it or just wants Max too much to introduce any elaborate barriers to it, drawing him into the bed and settling him back into the pillows so Lando can check over every inch of him for any possible injuries, like Max's body is precious.

He kisses under Max's belly button, mouth open and hot and Max feels his cheeks burn with how much he blushes, undone by Lando loving him like this. They've always played rough with each other but ever since Lando got him to take the test it's been a little more lavish, Lando taking care of him.

Max, honestly, isn't complaining if it means he gets a twice weekly back rub and Lando kissing his tits. And Lando's always been it for him, really, as much as he's sometimes fought it. It's nice just being together easily, with some idea of how it's going to work out, now. Having babies, getting married, Max can stand at the back of the garage, papaya-ear-protected toddler on one hip and tell them daddy's going to win again.

By the time Lando gets down to his clit Max is already wet, anticipating getting Lando inside him. His mouth's equally wet and there's a sopping mess between Max's legs after about 30 seconds, Lando trying to lap it up just making it worse.

His fingers feel so good, a familiar weight inside Max. They know the ways around each other so well, from the way Max knows Lando likes his balls played with when he's getting a blow job to the way Lando can make Max come in about 45 seconds just from fingering him, sometimes. It's not that no one else has ever made him come, Jake was pretty good at it, it's just that no one else has made him come the way Lando does; again and again, each one stronger than the last.

It takes three before Lando's satisfied, moves back up Max's body and slides his dick into him. The very first time they'd fucked Max had been surprised by how big Lando is, how he seemed like the perfect fit for Max and still does, years later.

"Baby," Lando bites at his ear lobe, breathing the taste of Max against his cheek. "I love you."

"I know you do," Max moves his own hand up, to cup Lando's face so they can kiss without bashing noses. "I love you too. We're gonna love them, as well."

"Mrgngh-" Lando makes an extremely strangled noise, tucks his head into Max's shoulder and stills. "Fuck. Fuck, holy shit."

"You're err, into that then, Bob?" Max rubs his shoulders, keeps his legs round Lando's waist, feeling him pulse inside him.

"Dunno. I just like - I'd kind of forgotten, 'cause we were just having sex and then like, oh. I'm into you."

Max nearly snorts because that's incredibly not news but also Lando is very devoted to him. He loves Lando, wants their little family so much.

"Let me, just," Lando shuffles around, pulling out and Max hears his own little whiny noise about it. "Alright, I've got you."

Another two orgasms later - and Max has always known Lando's into eating his own cum out of Max, so frankly it's more a treat for him - they curl up together, Lando spooning him with his hand between Max's legs.

His big, strong forearm is over Max's tummy and it feels nice, protected. He might be the one doing most of the work, here but Lando can look after them both sometimes, at least.

The man in question is snoring against Max's neck, until he shifts a bit and clearly half-wakes Lando up, who just pulls him closer and buries his nose deeper in Max's hair.

"My princess," Lando mumbles, just when Max is falling asleep and he'd - normally, he doesn't put up with that kind of shit, he's a boy for god's sake but well, maybe just this once.

[electrasev5nwrites]

Ninja Daily: Vapors 9

"Aiko, Aiko! Nee-chan!" Naruto waved the blue fabric above his head, pushing his way through the students milling around outside. He barreled directly into her with force that would have knocked over a lesser pre-teen. Some of his now-former classmates gave him strange looks. Students dropped out of the Academy all the time. Since she'd been out for two whole years, most of her former classmates had probably forgotten she ever attended.

Indulgently, Aiko hugged her otouto for all she was worth, trying to focus on him and not all the soggy-looking student glaring in his direction. Sometimes his hyperactivity made her tired, but since today was his day of triumph she was willing to let it slide. He'd earned his headband, although not in the way she'd half expected.

She'd spent a long time trying to make up her mind about letting his graduation go according to 'plan'. The thought of her brother failing and being tricked by Mizuki-bastard was really unappealing. The thought of letting him be hurt in that way made her heart ache, even if she knew it would strengthen his fledgling bond with Iruka-sensei, who had softened to him and started spending time with Naruto, especially when she was out of town on missions.

In the end, she didn't have to make a decision. Her otouto had come to her with watery blue eyes and a request to help him practice his jutsu so he could graduate, and she bent over backwards to accommodate. She knew perfectly well what the problem was- he had too much chakra and too little control to use the tiny smidge of spiritual power required for a standard bunshin.

So he wasn't going to use a standard bunshin.

She hadn't used one since she graduated- they were stupid anyways. Unfortunately, Naruto's primary affinity was wind (she reminded him daily for weeks that he'd never be as cool as her after she 'found out' with chakra paper), but he seemed to have some small aptitude for water and the sheer determination to make it work. That tiny bit of natural inclination, no small amount of talent, and his enormous willpower resulted in beautiful water clones.

His ridiculous chakra reserves helped him flood the academy classroom with them. Literally, once they were all dispelled.

As he laughingly explained to her over celebratory barbeque, he almost didn't pass because Mizuki was so furious he tried to have him failed for using non-standard bunshin under the premise that he wasn't obeying the letter of the rule.

"But Iruka-sensei sure told him! It was awesome, nee-chan." Naruto fidgeted, practically ready to explode out of his seat and bounce off the walls. The bulky man who'd brought them their food eyed him warily.

Aiko gave the man a sharp glare, telling him to fuck off silently. She tilted her head slightly so his eyes were drawn to her headband- visibly marred like only a headband that had seen action could be.

He left.

"nd even if I hadn't had the bunshin at all, I still would have passed because I had that extra credit in projectiles! You were right, nee-chan."

"Aren't I always?" She stole a piece of particularly attractive-looking beef off his plate and tried not to laugh at the way he squawked.

"Hey, don't be mean!"

"I'm paying aren't I," she said blandly. It was theoretically a treat- but really, she paid for almost everything. As of today, the small checks Naruto received as an orphan in ninja training would end, but she'd really been paying all the bills with what she earned running missions anyway. It wasn't a problem- despite the fact that she didn't run nearly as many missions as she had when she first became a Genin, C and B class missions paid exponentially better.

Judging by the three fat wallets she had hidden in the apartment, Kakashi was either secretly a millionaire or had some illicit and ungodly expensive habit, like maybe he was currently building a summer home entirely out of diamonds using unicorns and princesses as laborers- nothing else could explain why he was so damn cheap. The man made plenty of money.

Her sensei ran fewer missions without her these days. Once she had figured out that he hadn't been taken off the roster for high level missions, his frequent absences and the days he just didn't show up for training made a lot more sense. She hadn't been cleared for A-class missions, so he ran those with another team, but she was his shadow in B level missions.

That had caused no small amount of amusement among the elite Jounin who seemed to know him by sight- the first time that she had toddled out of the village behind him in a matching mask, the couple sitting at the gate had burst out laughing.

"This is my mission face," she'd said blandly, as if that was an answer. It made sense to her- she was terrible at controlling her emotions and expressions. That wasn't appropriate when she was on the clock. In a way, putting on the mask made it easy for her to become another person. She had never explained that to her sensei. He'd seemed unnerved the first time he saw her in a black cloth mask, but never commented.

"When do you get your team assignments?" she asked, already knowing.

His expression brightened, the slight against his dinner already forgotten. "First thing tomorrow, 'ttebayo! Hey, hey, do you think I should change my look?" He tugged at his blue t shirt. "This doesn't look very shinobi-ish. I'm a real ninja now, and I should look like one!"

"Fine by me," she agreed easily. Aiko liked playing dress-up. She hadn't changed her look significantly in the past year so much as she'd added identical outfits in different colors. Black, gray and blue were 'mission' colors, and she didn't wear them within the village anymore. It helped her both pack quickly and compartmentalize her life. Her headband had been put on black fabric, and she wore it around her waist almost every day. Today she was in red- a cheery cherry shade.

Her hair, on the other hand, had changed in the past year. That was more because she was bad at cutting it than that she was vain about having long hair. When she wore it in a pony tail, it was just barely long enough to brush the base of her neck. When she felt childish, it made for two adorable spiky pigtails jutting out on either side of her face.

She'd never understand how most ninja seemed to only ever own one outfit at any given point in time. It was gross and depressing.

They loaded Naruto up with several pairs of the standard-issue blue pants (apparently he didn't find them as depressing as she did). Aiko laughed for a while that he had to buy them in a women's small while he pouted and tugged out the incriminating tags. He located long-sleeved blue shirts that matched. Just when she was starting to think she had somehow warped him into an incredibly boring person, he gleefully snatched short sleeved shirts in orange, yellow, and green and then started pawing through hilariously oversized sunglasses. She put a stop to the last part, but couldn't bear to tell him he couldn't replace his orange goggles. They were adorable, frankly.

"Oh crap, I forgot to feed the dragon." Aiko stopped and gaped at her brother. So did the rather disturbed-looking old lady who had been glaring disdainfully at him when he said it, turning pale and hobbling away.

"How could you, Naruto? That's terrible! Poor kitty cat."

Said cat seemed to agree. He gave Naruto the long, slow look that usually meant he was going to try to smother Naruto in his sleep by laying on his face sometime in the night. In apology, Aiko filled up a short bowl with whipped cream from a can and sprinkled it with catnip. He was a little kinder when he was high. Some days, she wished Smaug was a nin-cat so she could teach him to breathe fire. Alas, he was just a particularly angry house cat.

"That's fucking ridiculous," Sarutobi Asuma complained through a mouthful of smoke. "That team is stacked." His female companion grabbed his cigarette right out of his mouth and dropped it, crushing it under her heel. He stared at her slack-jawed, feeling more than a little betrayed. The civilian secretary, on the other hand, outright shrieked. No one paid her any mind.

"What do you have to complain about?" Kurenai nudged him companionably, smiling a little at his expression. "You have a dream team, too. Ino-Shika-Cho? You really got a nice set-up and the top kunoichi of the year. You'll love it." Her expression softened into a full smile, red eyes sparkling. "Isn't it so exciting? Our first genin teams! I've been waiting for this since I became a Chuunin."

"Goody," Asuma muttered, not remotely excited about having a genin team. He'd been avoiding the duty for years. Jounin-level shinobi who were considered stable enough to train children were in pretty short supply (and the criteria for 'stable enough to teach' were frighteningly vague). The assignment wasn't as flattering as Kurenai seemed to think it was, even if they had been gifted with the crème de la crème.

No point in bursting her bubble, though. She'd wise up on her own- or maybe she really would like the duty as much as she hoped. He wished her the best, really he did. But Kakashi…

"I just don't get that bastard. He doesn't even like kids. I don't get why Hokage-sama (the last word was tinged with more than a bit of irony) is letting him have his cake and eat it too."

Kurenai shrugged philosophically. "Do you really want a team with the angriest little Uchiha" (an unofficial and rather unkind nomme de plume gifted by superiors) "and a jinchuuriki?"

"Not when you phrase it like that," he muttered. "But when you remember that the angry little Uchiha is the top student of the year and that this'll complete his set of Namikaze kids…"

Anko swooped out of absolutely nowhere with a creepy grin and the smell of scales (which seemed to be her main form of transport, followed closely by 'materializing out of the darkness' and 'already waiting in your closet when you go to look for linens') and punched his shoulder, hard. "Oh sorry, didn't see you there." The ridiculous lie clearly baffled both of the Jounin she'd interrupted, which the new special Jounin seemed to take as a compliment. She grinned fiercely, and poked his cheek with a dango stick. "Gotta watch what you say," she warned cheerily. "You're going to be spending a lot of time around ankle biters. It'd fuckin' suck if you polluted their precious little brains with things they shouldn't know, wouldn't it?"

Kurenai's brain nearly shut down at that bit of hypocrisy. "Anko-san, what are you doing here?" she asked wearily. The younger woman beamed.

"I get to fail my very first genin team! Glad I'm not one of you fuckers. I'd cry a river of blood if I were asked to train three midgets to show up our allies at Chuunin exams in three months."

A shiver went up Kurenai's spine. 'Hokage-sama was willing to risk letting Mitarashi-san have a genin team? That's just frightening. Maybe this assignment isn't such an honor after all.'

Eager to go, as soon as Iruka and Mizuki stepped out of the classroom and asked them to gather their short people one at a time, Kurenai gave a tiny squeal, straightened her spine, and walked in. A few minutes later she walked back out with three ankle-biters, one of whom was gazing up at her adoringly with big pale eyes.

Asuma sighed. "Time to face the music, I guess." He raised an eyebrow at Anko. "You want to go first?"

She waved him off. "Nah. I need a moment to get all the laughter out before I crush their hopes and dreams. Or worse, get stuck with a team of little shits." She shuddered.

"Suit yourself," he mumbled, wishing he had another cigarette or reason to put this off. With a sigh, he stuck his head in. "Team Ten? Follow me." He ambled down the hall, looking as if he'd rather be dead. A short scuffled erupted inside the classroom, and then the door banged all the way open. A blonde girl dressed in a ridiculous purple outfit strutted out, followed by an anxious Akimichi (you could always pick them out of a crowd) and with her nails digging so far into the wrist of the other boy behind her that he was outright hustling to keep up. Anko howled with laughter, not minding when the chit huffed and turned her nose up.

"Oh, that's cute." She propped the door open. "Team six? Get your skinny asses out to the playground, stat." Her voice dropped an entire octave into something shockingly sinister. "We're going to play a little game."

"I can't believe you did this to me," Naruto said flatly, staring straight up at the ceiling. Sasuke gave him a baffled look. "You knew, the whole time. I thought you loved me."

Sasuke inched away.

The strange girl who had showed up with their new sensei and claimed to be his side-kick snickered, fiddling with her copper ponytail. Sakura put a hand to her own long hair, smirking in a self-satisfied way. Sasuke tried not to think about what was going on in her head. That way only leads to madness. The stranger teased, "of course I love you. That's why I knew just how hilarious your face would be after Sensei made you wait a million years."

Uncharacteristically, Sasuke interjected, both relieved that his new teammate wasn't hitting on him and eager for information about the strange man who had made him wait. "Is that man always so late?" His face twisted in a grimace when she nodded.

"Come on, you guys." She made a shoo-ing motion. "Didn't you hear him say to meet on the roof?"

The blonde idiot rolled his eyes. "You're not there either, so don't nag."

"Aren't I?" she asked noncommittally. The girl gave a sharp little smile that didn't quite reach her eyes- and then Naruto cursed, moving backwards in slow motion, but not fast enough to escape the minor explosion as the girl dissolved into water.

Sasuke rolled his eyes at his now-soaking teammate and took off for the stairs. "Idiot." Left unsaid was that he hadn't noticed the girl was a water clone either. Sakura took a moment to squeal over just how cool he was before falling in behind him. "Hey, wait up you guys!" Naruto sneezed, trying to squeeze excess water out of his shirt.

Up on the rooftop, Aiko grabbed her teacher's wrist with her left to hold up his hand and gave it a high-five with her own. "Excellent work!" He docilely let her arrange his arm as she wanted, limp. Kakashi had recently discovered that one of the best ways to deal with children was to deny them a reaction. If he pretended to be dead or in a sudden coma, they got bored and went away (to call for help sometimes. That was always funny). It never worked for long on Aiko, but then again it was hard to escape an apprentice.

"I bet anything they'll pass your test, no problem," she challenged in a sing-song tone, snuggling into his side. He rolled an eye. 'That'd be a miracle.' It seemed like sacrilege that he was going to have to pass this team.

The other three brats toddled up the stairs, the pink-haired girl paying an inordinate amount of attention to the Uchiha's rear end. Kakashi sighed internally, already resigned to his fate. He only had to get these three up to Chuunin level in three months. No big, right?

The blonde one tripped over his own feet and blamed it on a butterfly. Suddenly, Kakashi felt very sorry for himself.

"Let's do introductions," he said in a purposefully bland voice. Do not engage more than necessary. No eye contact. "You first, pinky pie."

Sakura looked a little uncertain. "Just my name?"

"And any other relevant facts," Aiko chirped. "Things you like, dislike, hope to accomplish. Stuff like that." Her smile didn't reach her eyes.

The other girl gave her a grateful smile. It was a fake one as well. "Right! I'm Haruno Sakura. I like…" her eyes trailed over to Sasuke. He froze like a deer in front of a predator. She giggled, turning pink. "I like lots of things, and certain people! I don't like Ino or…" she trailed off, eying Aiko and apparently re-thinking whatever she'd been about to say. "ramen. My dream… well. I can't say."

Judging by the way she honed in on the poor brunette like a hungry wolf might a bleeding rabbit, Kakashi didn't think he needed her to say it aloud.

'This one is going to be a terror to teach. It might be kinder to pressure her into leaving the program and ask the Hokage for a replacement. She might actually tie him up in her closet so he can never leave her. Seems the type.'

While the sole adult was processing that and deciding to carefully avoid teaching her anything dangerous until she was less obviously unstable, Naruto gasped theatrically and started to babble something doubtlessly inane about ramen. Unamused, Kakashi pointed at him with his whole hand. "Go."

Naruto's eyes narrowed, but with a brief glance at his sister's amused expression, he resigned himself to it. "Fine. I'm Uzumaki Naruto! I love ramen, my precious people, and I'm going to be the Hokage one day, 'ttebayo!" He stuck his tongue out at Sasuke. "Now you, bastard."

Sasuke twitched, but smoothly introduced himself when prompted. "I don't have many interests or things that I like. I do have an ambition, however." How perfectly droll.

"What's that," Naruto asked, inappropriately invading his teammate's personal space. He probably learned it from his sister, who pulled that kind of thing all the time. The Uchiha batted him away. He'd learn how pointless that was soon enough, Kakashi was sure. They just didn't give up.

"To kill a certain man and restore my clan." He stared forward darkly. If he'd been less experienced, the Copy nin might have thought he didn't care about his peers' reaction. But he knew better, especially since the kid had brought it up unprompted. He was looking for a reaction to his declaration that he already wanted to kill someone. His bright little apprentice seemed to catch that as well, if her mischievous expression was anything to go by. So…

"Your dream is to be a dad?" Aiko asked, a curious smile tugging at her lips. "That's wonderful." Sasuke's eyebrows furrowed. Sakura giggled, a hand creeping up to her face.

"Moving on," Kakashi interrupted, wanting to get this over with. "Hatake Kakashi, your Jounin instructor. That is," he chuckled, "assuming you pass the test."

"We just passed the test!" Naruto informed. "No way!"

"That was just a test to weed out those who had no chance at becoming Genin. It's funny, you see. Only one third of prospective students that graduate actually get to be Genin."

Their horrified faces were adorable. He tried not to enjoy frightening small children more than he absolutely had to. "Meet me tomorrow at training ground se-"

"We didn't finish introductions," Sasuke pointed out, glaring a little at Aiko. "Who are you?"

There was an awkward silence.

"Um, Sasuke-san," she began, rubbing at her neck, "I was in your class for two years. I'm Naruto's older sister, remember? Uzumaki Aiko?"

"No. You must not have been interesting."

Naruto turned bright red. "Hey bastard, you can't just say-"

"As I was saying, meet at training ground seven at seven am for your test to see if any of you deserve to be genin," Kakashi interrupted crossly. "One last piece of advice? If I were you, I wouldn't eat breakfast. You'll probably just throw it all up." With that, he was gone.

"He's such a drama queen." Aiko stood up. "Come on kittens, let's go for lunch and get to know each other as a team. My treat." She reached out and snagged an arm from each boy, apparently trusting Sakura to follow. Naruto was resigned to being dragged around like an especially large doll, but Sasuke made the mistake of struggling. "It wasn't a request. We're going to be the best of friends, you and I," she said darkly.

From his perch a few buildings away, Kakashi observed his new team (and wasn't that a horrible thought, he'd only ever had one team and now he had a team again and not just co-workers or an apprentice, a team, a whole flock of short people depending on him for protection and learning). The Uchiha boy was attempting to slide out of Aiko's grasp. Kakashi couldn't see what she said, but whatever it was caused the boy to go limp for just a moment. That was all she needed. No matter how intense he was, Sasuke was just a little boy, a freshly minted genin. Aiko was technically a Chuunin, but she could probably give weaker Jounin runs for their money.

Her lack of promotion to Jounin had been a very intentional move, for multiple reasons. On Kakashi's part, it was because an apprentice was only really tied to their sensei as a lower level nin. Despite being emotionally constipated, he really did want to protect Sensei's children. The best way he knew to do that was to teach them to be strong enough to take care of themselves when he wasn't there- but be there anyways so they didn't have to be.

Luckily, he wasn't the only one invested in the apprenticeship. The Council had some bizarre idea that their top active nin was going to pass down all his specialties to her. Well. That was the traditional meaning of an apprenticeship, but that didn't mean he'd exactly given away the Hatake summoning contract yet. As long as he hadn't taught her his unique skill set or those of her parents that only their genetic relations could use (hello, previously lost whirlpool jutsu and one-man Hirashin) then there was no way they'd take the kid away from him.

The Council had their fingers in all sorts of pies these days, really.

The Copy-nin frowned, trying not to think about the bizarre pressure the Council was exerting on teams 7, 8, and 10 to push their rookies into the Chuunin exams being held in Konoha in three months. In one way, he understood. The teams had been stacked with the best of the best, and it would be an incredibly effective propaganda victory to completely dominate the exams while putting the children that the council had so many hopes for in as little danger as possible.

Most of this group- well, the next exams were in Iwa and then Cloud. Konoha was going to be sending exactly zero genin with bloodlines there, which would probably hurt their juggernaut standing as the most powerful village. If they were still riding on a high from the upcoming exams, however, that lack wouldn't be as obvious.

Kakashi stared glumly forward, trying to work up the will to read his beloved books. There was absolutely no way he'd be allowed to fail this team, not even the pink-haired tagalong. He was going to be stuck looking at a four-and-a-half foot tall (exaggeration, but the point still stood) mob of painful memories every day until they left, at which point he was going to have to worry about them. There was really no winning with this.

Sakura settled into the booth first, praying Sasuke-kun would sit next to her. The other girl –who was wearing her black forehead protector around her waist as if to emphasize how small it was, what a bitch- slid in instead, which was the second-best outcome. Sakura didn't want to have to sit next to that idiot Naruto, and she definitely didn't want the other girl getting up close to Sasuke-kun. She could hardly believe that was the girl who'd graduated two years ago. She looked like a real ninja in her plain green tunic, matching pants and knee high black boots. Even worse, she looked older than twelve. Sakura glumly adjusted her top discreetly, trying to look voluptuous. It wasn't working.

In the aisle in front of their booth, the two boys looked somewhere between constipated and combative, determinedly not staring each other down and not sitting down first.

"Sasuke, you'll want to sit first. Naruto has way too much energy to be trapped between a person and a wall. He'll make you get up a hundred times."

While Naruto sputtered and denied the accusation, the dark-haired boy gave up and sat down, sliding until he was pressed up against the wall. He looked as though he was being tortured, but Naruto did as well, sitting on the very edge. Sakura cleared her throat.

"So, ah… Why are you here, Aiko-san? Genin teams are made of cells of three, aren't they?"

"Correct," Aiko said blandly. "I'm a Chuunin. Do you know how apprenticeships work?" When no one volunteered information, she continued in a matter-of-fact way.

"You three are in a genin cell, but I never was. Instead, I apprenticed under Kakashi-sensei because he has a very specific skill set that the Hokage wanted him to pass on to me. That bond isn't severed until one of two things happen- both parties want it over, or the apprentice reaches Jounin levels. Neither has happened, since I still have more to learn from Kakashi-sensei. But then come along you three-" She gestured expansively. "Who for one reason or another, the council committee feels belong under Kakashi-sensei's mentorship. I'm not supposed to tell you this, but there's a rush order on you three. Hokage-sama wants you all either promoted to Chuunin or at least ready to make a bid for promotion in three months."

'If that doesn't get their skinny asses in gear, nothing will.' Aiko kept her face carefully impassive. She had an unfair advantage in manipulating these kids. She didn't feel guilty for using it.

The three genin's faces were a study in shock. They quickly transitioned to various expressions of pride or confusion, but no one said anything before the waitress plodded over unenthusiastically for their drink orders.

After the interruption, it was Sakura who brought up the old topic. "Isn't that really unusual? I thought people sometimes spent years as genin."

"We're just that awesome!" Naruto grinned wide enough that Aiko's cheeks hurt just looking at him. She solved the problem by flicking a senbon at him, letting it sink into the vinyl of the booth back a half inch from his ear.

"It's rude to shout at the table," she said mildly. "Konoha is hosting Chuunin exams in three months. They're kind of a big deal for the village in that they're a show of strength to prospective clients. The idea is that if we can crush the competition with rookie contestants, we'll be showing that our brand shiny new genin are better than their experienced ones. You three have been picked as a group that has exceptional potential as a team."

'Keyword being as a team. Pay attention, kiddies. Remember this for the test tomorrow.'

Sasuke seemed to flinch, carefully not looking at either of his 'teammates' and scowling.

"Anyway. Since I'm his apprentice, I think I'm getting screwed into doing his grunt work. With that in mind, you'll all three be doing my morning training. Ah, yes, thank you." She took the glass of apple juice the waitress had brought, swigging it down in an unladylike manner. Sakura tried not to grimace.

"Tell me about yourself, Sakura. Not the kind of things you said up there. Your strengths and weaknesses- in other words, what you can contribute to the team and what the team is going to do for you to make the group better." She eyed the boys. "You two think about your answers to the same question. Anyone who claims they have no weaknesses is going to get laughed all the fucking way to Suna."

'If they don't figure out to use teamwork tomorrow, I will personally beat them all up. I'm doing all the work for them.'

Omake:

"eam Seven will be Haruno, Sakura; Uchiha, Sasuke; and Uzumaki, Naruto. Your Jounin sensei…" pause. A whispered 'is that right? Huh. Poor bastards.' Then, "Hatake Kakashi."

"YES!" Naruto leapt out of his seat and directly onto the desk, flowing effortlessly into an impromptu dance. "This is great! Except that you're involved." He pointed directly at Sasuke, who looked more than a bit disgruntled. "You're terrible. In fact, are you certain I can't make a trade for like, Shino or something?"

"No trades," Iruka said dryly. "Sit down and shut up, Naruto. Moving on. Team Eight…"

Kiba scowled at Sasuke, who lowered his eyebrows imperceptibly in confusion. He didn't know why dog-face would be pissed at him. Had he wanted to get on a team with Naruto? It figured. Loud, mediocre idiots should probably stick together.

Akamaru whimpered sympathetically and licked his human friend's face. "Thanks buddy," he sighed. Hinata and Shino seemed alright (the latter both preening at being requested and incredibly grateful to have escaped being placed with Naruto). Kiba had been hoping for a different assignment, though. Forget trading Shino- he'd trade places with Sasuke in a minute. Naruto was kind of loud and annoying, but it would be worth it. His sister was freaking hot.

[hoovesandfloorpaws]

adding the 3rd interview from that day here, the one where Harry says Louis is a good boyfriend and treats him really well.

the tag here from 2015 was "and they haven't done an interview together in the last 3 1/2 years" and now it's almost 13 years later and they have never ever been allowed to do another interview together.

clown ass Syco & Modest! behaviour

like, i need to rant for a second. my memory is awful, so i basically watched these interviews with fresh eyes. they're obviously super comfortable (dare i say: domestic) with each other. the flirting, the banter and the mirroring, and how it sounds like they already knew every single answer the other one is gonna give.. everything is so lovely. it's so obvious how how they sometimes get lost looking at each other and how freely and easily they touch each other. but watching these also got me thinking if you think about interviews where Harry actually said to Zayn, about Louis: "Don't say that.. that he's gay!" (x) "Lou, can I give you a blowjob?" (x) "Louis'.. Louis' boyfriend!" / "Can't choose boyfriend." (x) "And I'd marry you, Harry." (x) "I'd take Harry for the night." (x) (For my a dinner date I'd choose) Harry: "You, Louis." (x) "My first real crush was Louis Tomlinson." (x) "Are you and Louis dating?" Harry: *nods & blushes* (x) "She looks like Harry". Then, Louis: "Marriage. Sex, everything." (x) "Female." - Harry: "Not that important." (x) (re: sleeping with a man) Harry: "Hey, don't knock it 'till you try it!" (x) "Now kiss me, you fool!" (x) "What does Harry taste like?" - Louis: "Salt and vinegar." (x) and their million domestic tweets at and about each other (extensive tweets tag by the wonderful @skepticalarrie)

(and these are only the ones that quickly came to me off the top of me tired brain), then that decision truly baffles and angers me even more. There's like dozens and dozens more instances like the mentioned+linked ones, oftentimes where words weren't even said and they just touched or looked at each other.. and oh my god.. the FRISCO interview just a month after Paris, where Louis declared "some people genuinely think.. they GeNuiNeLy think that we're together!" and Liam says "You are, though, aren't ya!" and Harry just nods, all dazed and still wearing his cock-appointment-blush and then Zayn moves the topic towards him and Harry and curiously, nobody ever says "so it's not true!". and then the air kisses and sign language love declarations and their at least 7 matching tattoos (that we know of). the absolutely besotted way they looked at each other from day one. the way they verbally supported each other; defended each other and got obviously jealous over someone else touching either of them. and the rings Harry was gifted by Louis that he's still wearing almost 12 years later... like--

all of this still happened despite them never again being interviewed just the two of them or even getting a fucking segment just the two of them during things like 1D Day! which is so telling.

and all of this compared to how they behaved with each other during those Paris interviews -the ones that were -to Modest! obviously too much? let's be SO fr.. in my personal opinion, those interviews are very tame compared to everything else. they're rather sweet and polite and they didn't even touch each other nearly as much as they did in group interviews, because obviously that is safer, because you've got a lot more distraction for the eye with five guys instead of two. In one of the 3 interviews, Louis is even pretty quiet and calm; just seems very peaceful (or thoughtful). (which is just my personal interpretation, there could be lots of reasons for it)

And they were the same age in Paris as they were for a lot of the things they let slip in other group interviews then. sometimes when they didn't know it was being picked up by a mic or camera, but oftentimes they knew and still couldn't / didn't want to stop themselves :')

I could write a lot more about the hypocrisy of it all or how devastating it still feels and how angry it still makes me -almost 15 years later-, how swiftly and deeply they were shoved into the closet, when every other very private detail of their personal lives was being dragged into the public, twisted and turned and "marketed" to death. (and the latter was obviously fucking damaging to all of them) I shudder to imagine how much homophobia they were exposed to by the people who were supposed to nurture and guide them when their families and friends couldn't be with them. Obviously, the fact that they -so early on- were tried to be kept separated like that portrays just how desperate Clowndest! tried to do "damage control". And of course they failed, but not for lack of squeezing these two into such a sinister iron closet for so many years; piling up contracted lies upon contracted lies that added to all the pressure of two young people who were giving their love a try.. the more lies they piled up, the harder would it be for them later on.

and now look where we are now. they persisted, but at what cost?

Louis & Harry Paris Interviews

How many interviews are there of just Louis and Harry? I’m talking video interviews of L + H, sans Niall, Liam or Zayn to babysit them. There seem to only be a grand total of 2. And both took place on the same day. (February 14, 2012…Was it really on Valentine’s Day??) The Teemix interview below is broken up into 4 parts, but it’s all one interview.

This post actually took me longer than you might think because I tried so hard to find other video interviews of H + L. There aren’t any. Shocking, right?

L’Interview Paris - Fan2Fr

Highlights include: 

At 4:30 Louis reading Harry’s Hot and Dangerous on the fan-art: “Of course he’s hot” 

4:51 Harry says of Louis, “I would describe it more as funny and handsome and rugged…A bit more manly” and Louis gives the brightest most amused smile to the camera.

The looks they give each other at the end of the video with the whole ‘dangerous dave(?)’ thing. Many people hear Harry say ‘I’ll get you for that tonight’ in response. I suck at deciphering these things, but it would make sense given  Louis’ laughing reaction to it.

Teemix Interview 1 of 4

Louis’ face at 3:24 when waiting for Harry to describe Niall’s characteristics.

Louis softly pushing Harry’s hair back at 3:40 when describing him as ‘curly.’ He just..keeps..going..oh my god it’s adorable.

Teemix Interview 2 of 4

The way they finish each others’ sentences, talking about being normal lads. They seem so in sync and sound so relaxed about it.

At 0:38 – L: We still pop down to the shop every now and again– H: Bread and milk. L: Yep, the standard.

Teemix Interview 3 of 4

At 0:20 when describing their ideal girl, Harry corrects Louis’ ‘good sense of humour’ comment with ‘GREAT sense of humour’ and Louis nods ‘yeah’ with the most earnest, serious agreement I’ve ever seen from a person in a boyband answering a generic question. They’re clearly describing each other.

This entire segment is a ridiculous display of how calm and in sync these two are. Telling the story of Liam’s chat up lines, agreeing on their favourite date spots (1:35), Louis proudly suggesting ‘cook them their favourite meal’ (2:12), they’re so at ease with each other and so willing to agree on every little thing.

At 2:42 Louis tries to figure out how long he’s been with Eleanor and Harry suggests ‘a year?’. Harry’s just straight-up laughing at this point and again, clearly talking about him and Louis.

‘I would definitely say Harry is the most confident with girls’ and then he GRINS.

The way they’re smiling at each other at the end is too much. Louis tells Harry, ‘you’re on a whole new level of charm, man’ and can’t stop grinning.

Here’s a slow-mo gif of Louis’ cute head roll, when faced with having to choose his favourite love song. 

Teemix Interview 4 of 4

They cut off Louis at 1:52 here and it makes me realise I can’t even imagine what the unedited version of these L + H interviews is like…

[aaron-trainer]

Someone who loves you wouldn't do this || Part One: All of the Pain || Self para

Aaron woke to fire in his veins. Panic flares in his chest as he tried to open his eyes. Everything hurts so bad he couldn't think clearly, his fangs extending and his claws growing, but he stopped himself, taking in a deep breath as he remembered everything. Cassius thought he was crazy, hell, maybe he was. Cassius believed Trainer had gone on a rampage of sorts to get revenge for moloch. That hadn't been how he originally saw it but maybe that's what it was.

When Azazel started to make sounds again in the asylum, messing with the vampire Lucifer called home, Trainer just started to gather information. He waited a year to put any plan into motion and he waited a year to even come home, knowing these threats followed him. When he heard word that Lucifer was stirring again as well, he enacted the perfect plan. What had gone wrong?

He lay in the isolation chamber, strapped to a cot, poison running through him and burning his veins. His heart pumped the deadly toxins and he felt it dying and regenerating over and over again.

He turned his head and let the tears run off his nose as he just cried, begging for sleep. He knew he wouldn't sleep. He also knew he deserved this. He had brought shit back to the asylum. Casey had been wrong. Aaron could blame himself for all of this. He had brought it here. It followed him.

Part of him had hoped being dead would stay permanent if he was being poisoned by the dead man's blood but his body was just too strong to stay dead.

The door opened to the isolation room he was in and he turned his head to see Cassius step in, five golden wings at his back.

The wings were so much larger on Cassius than they were in Lucifers true form. They had to be, Casey was so large. Instead of the six long and sleek wings of Lucifer, now they were each thick like Cassius and as tall as him.

He stepped over and leaned down to Aaron,

"Comfortable?" His eyes flickered gold as he spoke with a snarl, nose to nose with Aaron. He smirked and slowly stood back up, walking around Aaron and checking all the machines pumping the blood into him.

"they have a recirculation machine here. I'll recommend they use it for you." He suggested as he came to a spot next to Aaron.

"You're so arrogant. Do you realize that yet? Your arrogance is the reason for all of this. When you get knocked down you just keep getting up. Showing that fighting spirit. Aaron Joseph Trainer, able to take on anything for his family and friends. You're going to shoulder it all. That's just it though. You're not strong enough for that role. You never have been. Always trying to get stronger and stronger to save your family and yourself. You've always been weak and tired and sick, but you pretend and you add to your plot armor until it looks like You're the strongest, but you aren't. It's all fake. You grab abilities and you say that this time it'll be enough but you are never enough, Aaron. You never will be. You're dealing with cosmic forces. Before the cosmos were even something you knew existed to the extent that they do, you couldn't even handle other vampires or low level demons. Even angels could kick your ass. When you became a hybrid, a fucking reaper was able to cut you almost in half leaving you open for Bael to rape and tear apart. A reaper. They are regular angels and angels are just people with telepathy! You're weak and you're no use to your brother and father anymore. You're going to get out of here. I want you to wait just a little while then I want you to escape and leave the isolation chamber. Fight everyone who tries to stop you. Do not get brought back by anyone but Cassius. If you don't do this, I will kill Lacy with Casey's hands so he has to watch her die. I'll make sure she stays in purgatory this time. Then I'll make Cassius take his own life, willingly and maybe in front of you. You didn't take my threats seriously before, but I sure hope you do now."

He pulled up Aaron's shirt and started to run his hands along his abdomen,"I heard rumors that you once had a phobia of touch because Bael pinned you to a bed... And had his way with you..." He drug his claws down Aaron's chest and stomach. Aaron had a flash of the other demon, lifetimes ago, pinning him in this manner.

"I'm not going to do that today... But I might... Haven't decided. Might make Adramelech do it." He shrugged lightly.

Aaron couldn't keep the tears at bay as Lucifer lowered his shirt again. Trainer wanted to tear out of here but he knew it would prove his guilt to Cassius if he tried.

"you're wrong." Trainer muttered,"I'm not weak. You think I'm arrogant... Look in a fucking mirror once you stop wearing my brother like a prom dress. Still just a trashy angel. Nothing special except your mistakes.*

Trainer turned away as Lucifer stood there, fuming. After a time Lucifer started hitting him until his bones cracked, busting up his face and ribcage, healing him after so it wouldn't be obvious when Casey saw him next.

"have a good one, Aaron. Remember what I told you to do. Wait some time then out ya go. Break out and only stop when Cassius brings you back. Louder you are the better. Or Lacy is dead."

Confusion swept over him as Lucifer left. He couldn't remember what he looked like. Tall and short, blonde and brunette, curly hair and straight. Who was hosting him?

@theothertrainer

[toraochi]

fnaf men cockwarming headcannons!

warnings: nsfw content ahead, swearing, minors dni, breeding, and exibitionism

notes: one week break again everyone! being a 4th year is hard lmao. anyways i hope you guys enjoy this drabble of mine. we are so close to being in 500 followers everyone!! <3

William Afton

Another day at the pizzaria he was managing with, kids yelling and parents complaining about the greasy tables and pizza

And of course, William was fed up about it considering about its an almost everyday situation

Henry took a notice about his colleague and decide to send him home for the day.

He went home, driving in a fast but steady pace, wanting to see you, his lovely wife.

The kids were out for a sleepover with Henry's children.

William got home, his attire look dishevled at put you at worry

"What happen dear?"

You didnt even finshed as he grabbed you and pin you onto the wall.

"Oh love, would you mind giving me a moment and use you?" He chuckled deeply as he kissed you deeply.

And now you are here, sitting on his lap, his dick buried inside your tight hole while he was working on his papers.

You tried to move but his long and strong hands kept your thighs in place.

"Doll, stop being a brat for me will you? Daddy is gonna rewared you soon.."

Expect some light thrusting, oh he fucking loves to tease.

He will nibble at your neck, just to tease you of course.

"W-Will~" you moaned and he immediately shushed you.

"Be still darling, good girls get their rewards faster when they behave. Are you a good girl? Of course you aren't. But will you be good just for Daddy? Hmm?."

Michael Afton

You and Michael were highschool sweethearts, now that you guys got your own jobs you guys decided to live together on your own.

You noticed that his night shift was oddly stressing that you even see his eyebugs appearing from time to time.

You were so worried about him and you decided to ask him on whats wrong.

"Its nothing babe, just a tiring day." He said, and proceed to go in your shared bedroom.

However, his answer did not put you on ease so after making some simple dinner you decide to check on him.

"Mikey, are you sure you are alright-" he immediately interupt you.

"I want to try something..y/n"

And here you are, trying to make friction in his cock deep inside you.

"P-Please Y/N don't move too much- Aah~"

he cant take it with in 5 minutes and immediately pounding you, your walls clenching around him.

His tongue make its way into yours, giving you a french kiss.

You drooled so much that he cummed inside you.

"You are such a godess Y/N. All for me, I think im a luckiest man alive dont you think? This ass? All mine. This tight cunt? Mine. All mine baby, all fucking mine."

Henry Emily

Our dear Henry here is the most busiest than William, considering that he was CEO of the company and also tons of complaints from the parents just like William.

He came home late, Your twins are already in bed while you were reading you favorite book.

You heard the keys janggle through the door and you immediately rushed and greeted your husband who has been tired from work.

"Dear welcome-" he passed you, not even looking at you.

You wondered what did happen to his work and you decide to check oh him later.

You brought a cup of tea and a piece of cheesecake you made for the twins.

You knocked three times. "Dear, can I go in?" You asked, holding the tray firmly."

"Yes you can..sweet." his hoarse voice says it all.

You entered, seeing his worn out body made your heart clench, and you go into him, putting the goods on the coffee table.

"Oh dear, you should have been taking some day offs.." You carased his cheek and he didnt respond.

"Do you want it Mommy to make it better? Hmm?"

And here we are, him struggling to hold out his release just for his mommy.

"Y/N~ please, please let me move fuck ah~" He moaned, trying to thrust his stiff cock onto you, but your thick weight hold him off.

You giggled.

"Oh Henry, you've been a very very good boy today. Good boys always have their own rewards." You said, lifting your ass and slamming it back again.

Minutes later, now he is pouding in animalistic force while whinning and babbling your name.

"Y/N, oh Y/N I can't get enough of you. Will you let me cum inside? Pretty please? I've been a good boy yeah? Will you let me, Oh god I'm cumming-"

He painted your walls white.

[kpop---scenarios]

Lost & Found (1)

Pairing: San x Reader x Baekhyun

Warning: Nothing Yet

Word Count: 2.4k

A/N: Let me know if you wanna be tagged!

You had never been more excited or happy in your life than you were right now. Right in this moment, as you stand outside your boyfriend's office, a small picture held between your fingers, you grin as you take a deep breath before heading inside to the receptionist, who you've come to know and befriend over the last year that your boyfriend has worked here.

"Hey Sara." You smile, sliding the picture into your pocket.

She looks shocked to see you. "Y/N." She says. "What are you doing here?" She asks. You give her a confused look, why else would you be here?

"I'm here to see San." You chuckle. "Is he in his office?" You ask.

"Uh.." She pauses. "He's not here anymore. We had his going away party last night." She says, trailing off while avoiding eye contact.

"He said he was going out with the guys last night.. Wait, what do you mean a going away party? Where's he going?" You ask.

"He didn't tell you?" She asks. You're not sure why she was asking, clearly you didn't know what the fuck was going on.

"Tell me what exactly?" You say, trying to control the tears that were trying to push their way out.

"San quit.. like two weeks ago. He said he was moving and had a new job lined up. Yesterday was his last day." She tells you.

You feel numb. Your head was swarming with thoughts and ideas, maybe he was at his apartment and was waiting to surprise you. You quickly and quietly thanked her and rushed out, hailing the first taxi you see. You slide into the back seat, telling the man the address while looking out the window, trying to push out the negative thoughts that were swarming.

You walk down the familiar hallway, the one you've walked down at least a thousand times in the 4 years you and San have been together. The two of you met when you were both freshmen at the same University, both in a new city with no friends and you quickly became inseparable, and here you were 4 years later ready to start a new chapter with the man who you thought was your forever. You're standing in front of his door, ready to knock but notice that the door isn't shut all the way. You push it open, and as it opens you're met with a completely empty apartment. His kitchen table that you've shared many meals and intimate moments at is gone. The couch where you watched thousands of movies and shows and shared your very first kiss was gone. You rushed to his bedroom, the bed where he first made love to you, was now gone.

You felt like you couldn't breathe. Your heart was racing, your head was beginning to get dizzy, you felt hot and faint. You quickly took your phone from your purse and dialed the number you had so many times and it didn't even ring.

"The number you are trying to dial is no longer in service."

Your hand is shaking as you try to dial his mom's number and it doesn't ring, instead goes straight to voicemail but doesn't let you leave a message and the same thing happens with his father's number. You try to send a text to him, his mother and his father and they don't send. Your stomach sinks and your heart begins to slowly shatter. There's no way he would do this to you, there's no way he would just ghost you like this after being together for so long, especially not that you were pregnant with his baby. You think about the last conversation the two of you had yesterday before he went out.

*

"San." You grin, I have something to tell you."

"Mhm?" He says, grumbles, looking up from his plate with a tired expression.

"I'm pregnant!" You yell, laughing and waving your hands in excitement. He looked stunned before coughing.

"What?" He asks. "How? You.. you are on birth control." He stutters.

"Yeah, but I mean it's not 100% effective, not to mention I guess the antibiotics I was on a few months ago can counteract them. Aren't you happy? We've been talking about starting a family.. it's finally happening." You say. You couldn't judge him for his reaction, it is very heavy news to receive.

He quickly glanced at his phone before standing up. "Uh, I gotta go, Chan is here. We'll, uh, talk later." He says, throwing his napkin on his plate before rushing out the door, without an i love you or a kiss.

You hadn't spoken to him the rest of the night. Your texts went unanswered, your calls were ignored and you figured that you would see him the next day, you thought.

The tears poured down your face as you came back to reality and you felt broken. You couldn't for the life of you understand why.

You sank to the floor of the empty apartment weeping silently, wondering how and why everything went so wrong. What did you do wrong? Why weren't you good enough?

**

It took you a few months to get yourself out of the slump that San had left you in. You hadn't been taking care of yourself which ultimately meant you hadn't been taking care of your baby either, the child you had wanted your entire life. You'd always dreamt of being a mother and here you were with your dream coming true, but your heart truly broken. It wasn't until you felt the first kick of your baby, the first feeling of it moving that it became real and less like a fever dream. You had finally woken up and realized you needed to get your shit together. You could wallow in self pity and being broken hearted all you wanted but you needed to make sure that you and your child were well taken care of. You made yourself a doctor's appointment as soon as possible before getting yourself out of your bed to have something to eat other than take out or ice cream. You began tidying your apartment, clearing out the trash, doing the dishes, cleaning the floors, the living room, your room. You finally walked into your spare room where you had thrown all of San's belongings that he left at your place, and began packing them up into boxes. You wanted to be the bigger person, show that you were more mature and ship his stuff to his parents house, but you didn't think he deserved your kindness anymore. Instead, you threw everything into boxes and got some help dumping them into the dumpster behind your apartment. Once you were satisfied with how clean everything was, you finally called your two best friends, Hwasa and Lisa back and arranged a dinner date with the both of them. You had told them what happened, how he just packed up and left you without a word, but you hadn't told them that you were pregnant, and tonight you were going to share the news with them. They would probably be able to tell since you were now beginning to show but you knew they would be the most supportive and you would tell the rest of your friends soon.

A few hours later you were walking down the street towards the restaurant when you saw a familiar face walking towards you. One of San's best friends, Chan, one of the few friends he had ever let you meet.

"Y/N?" He asks, squinting to see if it was you.

"Hey Chan." You say, trying to keep your voice steady.

"You're a real piece of fucking work." He snaps, glaring at you. "San told me all the shit you fucking did and I really never pictured you to be a two faced cunt like that." He spits.

You're taken aback at his words, not to mention extremely confused about what he was talking about.

"I'm sorry, what the fuck?" You say. "I never did shit to him."

"Oh yeah, so you never cheated on him?" He scoffs.

You couldn't help but laugh. "No, I never cheated on him. What the hell would make you think that?" You asked.

"That's why he moved.. because you cheated on him, and were always yelling at him and making him miserable, and when he tried to break up with you, you threatened him and you told him that you were pregnant but he knew it was the other guys." Chan explains.

"Wow." You laugh, humourlessly. "I never cheated. He yelled at me, far too often. Many times to the point where I would be crying and begging for him to stop." You say. "He never broke up with me. He never told me he was leaving. We had dinner the Thursday before, I told him I was pregnant with his child and he went out and I never heard from him again." You tell him. "I loved San with everything I had, but I apparently was nothing to him." You say, shrugging it off. You were tired of feeling sad.

"He wouldn't lie about shit like that. Not to me." Chan exclaims.

"You think what you want but just think about some of the things he's said, do they really sound true?" You say before you walk away, leaving Chan to wonder if he really knew his friend.

You walked into the restaurant, heading for the table that your two best friends sat at.

"Hey." You smile.

"Look at you. You look good." Hwasa smiles. "We're so happy to see you."

"I'm so glad you're feeling better and out. We missed you." Lisa grins, patting the seat next to her. You slide into the seat smiling at your friends.

"I actually have something to tell you guys." You say nervously. Before you can say anything, the waiter comes over to take your order. You order your favorite food, the one you've been craving the most without even looking at the menu. Once he leaves you look between your friends, suddenly terrified to let them know what was happening.

"Did you guys hear about what he said about me?" You ask.

"Yeah, and I don't believe it for a fucking second. What a douche." Lisa says, rolling her eyes.

"He's a fucking liar and a snake." Hwasa spits. "I always had a sketchy feeling about him."

"Well one thing is true." You say, clearing your throat. You stand up and open your jacket, revealing your tiny bump.

"Oh my god it's true!?" They both yell, standing up excitedly. "Oh we're so excited for you. We're going to be aunties!" Hwasa gushes. They both come over to you, giving you the biggest and warmest hugs, and suddenly you feel as though everything will be okay.

The next morning you called your parents to tell them the news. You didn't have the best relationship with them, they always considered you the bad child, and your older sister being their pride and joy. You could never do anything right.

"Don't lie Y/N, we know what you did to San. How could you hurt that poor, sweet man like that? What the hell is wrong with you? Why can you be like your sister?" Your dad yells. He tries to pass the phone to your mother but you can hear her refusing to talk to you, basically disowning you.

"I'm sorry." You whisper before hanging up the phone. You knew what the truth was but it hurt they believed someone who hurt you and wasn't their child over you. You were done, done with negative people in your life. Your child deserved better and so did you.

**

"What do you want, mhm?" You coo to your now 18 month old son, Jaehyun. You were strolling down the aisle at the grocery store, picking out some snacks that you were lacking at home. Jaehyun excitedly pointed to a big bag of goldfish, which were his favorite. You smile and grab the bag, putting it in the cart, while giving him a kiss at the same time. You began pushing the cart, distracted by your child and how much you loved him when you accidentally crashed into something - or someone.

Your head snaps up and you see a man rubbing his ankle. "Oh my god, I'm so so sorry." You gush, feeling terribly. "Is it bleeding, oh god, I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention."

The man looks up angrily but as he looks at you his face softens quickly. "Oh." He chuckles. "It's fine, it happens sometimes." He smiles. "I'm Baekhyun." He introduces himself, holding out his hand.

"Y/N." You shyly grin, shaking his hand. "It's nice to meet you."

"The pleasure is all mine." He says. The two of you stood there for a few minutes talking about whatever, until Jaehyun began to fuss in the cart. "Oh, hi baby." You smile at him. "Mama is right here."

"How old is he?" Baekhyun asks.

"18 months." You reply.

"Hey buddy." Baekhyun smiles at Jaehyun, which in turn makes Jaehyun grin widely.

"Well..I'm sorry again." You smile, walking away from the handsome man before he can say anything.

When you're finished your shopping you're standing in line at the check out, placing your items on the counter to be scanned. You notice Baekhyun behind you, playing peek-a-boo with Jaehyun, making him giggle loudly.

Jaehyun begins whining, putting his arms up towards Baekhyun, loudly shouting "up, up."

"I’m so sorry he’s never like this with anyone he doesn’t know." You say, trying to sooth your upset son.

"That's okay." Baekhyun laughs. "Maybe it’s meant to be. Maybe we should meet again so that he’s not disappointed. I know I would be if I let someone as cute as you slip away." He says. "Or is daddy at home waiting on his beautiful family?" He asks.

Your face feels hot. "No, nothing like that." You say shyly.

"Would it be okay if we exchanged numbers?" He asks. "Maybe on a nice day like tomorrow, we could go to the park by the river and have a little picnic?" He wonders.

"With Jaehyun?" You ask.

"Of course, if you feel comfortable with that." He adds.

"I would really like that, and I think he would too." You smile.

You pay for your groceries, and Baekhyun does the same before you both exchange numbers with the promise of him contacting you very soon. You and Jaehyun wave goodbye, both with smiles on your face, and you with the feeling of good things ahead.

[anyu-blue]

No.

It IS a resounding NO.

Because Covid is STILL killing swaths of people, we just aren't masking (outside of individuals like myself who do) or giving it media attention anymore. And it's mutated (as we were warned it would) so vastly were still not sure we can keep up or prevent it with vaccines.

LONG Covid is impacting almost everyone I know. My household had a confirmed case ONCE because of ONE encounter we were supposed to be able to trust, and we're still not the same years later.

And, sure, the unemployment rate HAS gone down and good things have been set in motion, HOWEVER- most of us are barely scraping by as cost of necessities keep rising by the week and is WHY unemployment has gone down. No one can afford to house another person without a job anymore- making the sick/disabled and the unfit enter the workforce at greater numbers. Because they have no choice. Disability is not enough. Side hustles/ money-making hobbies aren't enough. Literal CHILDREN are being hired (sometimes under the table)!! These all skew the numbers.

I'm honestly sick of seeing my coworkers do price changes- CHEAP shoes currently START at $20. Cheap 'decent' shoes start at $50. Our minimum wage is $10/hr. Do the math of how much of your life it takes to keep buying work shoes- which you're supposed to replace every 8 months - let alone groceries. It used to cost us $150 for a weekly trip. Now for the SAME STUFF, it's $400. So we scramble to find alternatives- anything to knock the cost of FOOD down. Its f*cked with my IBS and food intolerances VERY badly because I'm just trying to eat whatever is cheapest. And its that, or go hungry.

Oh, but despite being sick, we can't go to our hospital because it's full of people who are too tired not to make mistakes OR people who are there for the paycheck and nothing more. And even if we DID go, the co-pays and then costs of that care are higher than ever. $100 WITH INSURANCE (that's also at least $100 a month before co-pays and deductibles) for a generic medication? WTF?

Have I even mentioned the homelessness rate in our state? It has SKYROCKETED while ALSO now being criminalized because there's just so many people in the previous safe havens that they can't hide from the public eye and now authorities-- which leads to overcrowding and, you guessed it, furthering disease in any available housing these desperate people (who ARE working btw- usually because of a grandfather clause or managing to find a way around the 'needing an address' problem some other way.) can find. They just can't afford a home, OR to KEEP their home as the housing prices and property taxes keep going up as well.

A good Gen X friend of mine is terrified she'll lose her house due to these very taxes. She has a cancer treatment she takes (which also costs an arm and a leg) and can only work part time as a teacher because of the side-effects. That doesn't pay a lot.

OH! And that doesn't even touch the fact that we're seeing a genocide and unintentionally helping to pay for it with our damn taxes AND whatever damn company also supports it that sells a product we don't have an alternative but to buy from that brand.

Most of the people I know that fall into those lovely, easy to read numbers and statistics are NOT doing better at ALL. We're INDIVIDUALS, FAMILIES, entire COMMUNITIES who are struggling under the weight of it all while big wigs and jerks who only look at the superficial data and NOT the actual quality of life PEOPLE have get to say we have it SOOO much better than we did 4 years ago.

We don't.

SOME things are better... on paper. The reality is much more dirty than that. It's so, so ugly.

Get off your fucking high-horse, get your nose out of the damn data, and listen to the people's answers.

It IS a resounding NO.

(This isn't a rag on Biden btw. He's imperfect and not helping in some areas, but I DO recognize we are better off than under Trump. HOWEVER, what that man did while in office, AND the stupid ideas it gave to the power hungries STILL in office is part of why we are so absolutely not doing well right now. It takes time and good teams to undo the problems caused - and a lot of the good that SHOULD be here or looks good on paper isn't actually good rn is because of that ripple effect too.)

1. Morning in America

Without irony or embarrassment, Elise Stefanik asks, “Are you better off today than you were four years ago?”

And then Stefanik claims that the answer is “A resounding no.”

AYFKM?

Let’s do this. And I mean, let’s really forking do it.

First, let’s start with the baseline. What was it like four years ago?

At this point in 2020, a few hundred Americans were dying every day from COVID. By April 2020 that number would be over 2,000 dead per day.

[taeyamayang]

THE BOYS AS YOUR BESTFRIEND

CHARACTERS: Kuroo Tetsurou | Atsumu Miya | Tsukishima Kei | Iwaizumi Hajime

GENRE: fluff! fluff! | crack if you laugh

WARNING: too pure for your heart | oops, also minor cursing

a/n: let's push romantic feelings aside for now and dive into a platonic relationship with the boys! i feel like these boys would have made my high school days so much bareable??

it would have been chaotic x1000 given my chaotic nature when im with people im comfortable with

also, thank you @sparklingsad for suggesting iwa and tsumu in addition to kuroo! i had so much fun writing for those two vskshs im squealing

kuroo, tsumu, tsukki, & iwa

Kuroo Tetsurou

i swear this nerdy boy IS THE REASON WHY IM DOING THIS HC IN THE FIRST PLACE

i think he's the best epitome of a bestfriend

don't fight me on this

you know he's got the balance between being responsible and chaotic at the same time

study groups would be your thing together

though the 'group' only includes the two of you

or sometimes with kenma when he's feeling it

and you have always wondered how is this guy with raven bangs swept over his one eye

IS SO DAMN GOOD IN ACADEMICS??

like that's so unfair???

you literally spend time with him every single day and most of the time he would either be at practice

or tease and play pranks with the people around him for fun

he doesn't seem like the smart guy

no offense kuroo

and yet he would always be included in the top ten during exams

but that's where the perks begins

he's a saint for being patient enough to help you out in terms of school stuff

like this man wouldn't mind going over the same formula or metabolic cycle for you to get the whole idea

amen to you brother

but honestly tho i think what solidifies your relationship with him are the petty pranks, bets, and dares

i mean if yall bored he be like

"i bet you can't lick your elbow using your tongue."

but surprisingly you can??

so that throws him off and be like,

"but that's not anatomically possible?!"

you'd sneer and say between laughs,

"probably because im more anatomically advanced and evolved than you."

sometimes most of the times you two would include kenma in your petty shenanigans

leave the man alone tbh he's too tired of existing to deal with your sh*t

you would bet on who will get a text first from mr. pudding head

but kenma is used to the both of you so he knows it's some kind of prank or petty game

i mean you and kuroo sending him a text at the same time??

i gotta side with our best boy kenma here, that's fishy as fuck hun

so in the end both of yall didn't get a text

but that doesn't stop you two from the next petty dare

Miya Atsumu

bickering!! bickering!! BICKERING!!

mostly because he's dramatic

i hc him as a dramatic boy who needs some lovin'

but like you've spent YEARS with him to see through it

usually the switch automatically flicks on when you side with his twin brother, osamu

he expects you to tell him what he wants to hear like,

agreeing that osamu is an asshole

but of course you think otherwise so you'd tell him

"i think it's a misunderstanding, tsumu."

or

"you need to chill out i don't think that's what samu meant."

and by instant

his eyebrows would pull together, his lips curled up, and his face wrinkled in hurt

fake hurt

he would point at the door and say,

"im leaving ____! this is over! i don't want to be friends with you AGAIN. why would you hurt me like that? it's my twin we're talking about."

but you'd nonchalantly say

"okay, goodbye tsumu."

so

HE'D GASP like OUTLOUD and would stomp his feet as he exits the gym

you'd turn your head to suna and say

"one of those days."

and as he replies as he chuckles "your patience amuse me."

see??? you aren't the only one used to his childish acts

nonetheless you find it cute and entertaining lmao

days after you'd hear a knock on your front door and to your surprise you see a blonde boy with a pout on his face

"what are you doing here?" you ask

"i saw you tweet about baking cookies. im here to take my share."

PLEASE, HOW CAN YOU NOT RESIST HIM??

so you laugh as you pull the door wider so you could let him in

"so, are we friends again?" you tease him

your relationship with him is like a rubber band

everytime ons lf you tries to stir away from the other

with just one snap you'd find yourselves standing next to each other again

you both just can't resist each other

Tsukishima Kei

i know i've mentioned this before but

i hc tsukki as the type to befriend someone similar to his personality

unless you're yamaguchi, a boy of a pure soul, otherwise you ain't for the tsukki world

i mean his humor is TOP TIER salty

and his native language is SASS

you have to join him in the craze of dissing someone

and you're able to do that

that's why you are coined as "karasuno's twin version of the miya brothers"

but unlike the miya brothers who fights 24/7

you two are inseparable

you click so much that it's actually terrifying to see you two stroll down the hallway of the school building because of the cold aura you both emit

you wouldn't even be surprised when someone asks you about tsukki's whereabouts

usually it's either kageyama or hinata asking you tho lmao

everyone assumes you are in contact with each other every minute

physically that's not true cos i bet yall both hate clingy humanoids

but the telepathy you share,, mMMM

i feel like since you both spend too much time together there are mannerisms that you both adapt from the other

like you unconsciously learned how to pull your lips into a cynical smile

you know, that famous tsukki smile that would send shivers down everyone's spine

and him cocking his head to the side when he hears someone say a bullshit

EVERYONE NOTICES IT

except for the two of you

or maybe because you don't care at all

but what's interesting about your relationship with him is the fact that you get to see different sides of him

like he would always point at the same cafe a couple of blocks away from the neighborhood

as a way of telling you to hangout with him there

he refuses to eat at a different cafes and would tell you excuses like

"it's nearer."

or

"im used to this place."

to mask the real reason that he's obsessed with this cafe's strawberry shortcake

YOU KNOW HOW MUCH OF A STRAWBERRY SHORTCARE LOVER HE IS

it's quite unexpected from someone with an aloof persona

SO ONE DAY YOU POINTED IT OUT

right at the very moment he's enjoying his treat

but he ended up snapping at you

and ironically you find it funny and amusing

you love teasing him because you know he won't take it personally

Iwaizumi Hajime

literally a healthy relationship

LIKE FOR REAL

i feel like he's the type to tell you the truth than sugar coat it for the sake of you not getting hurt

it's nice 'cause it helps you in terms of growth

you like spending time with each other

tho you wouldn't admit it

especially when you're at the gym watching him at practice or cheering on him during games

but honestly the cherry topper is the way you both bicker on oikawa

it's a 2:1 battle

it's unfair, i know

but oikawa boy has a crowd of students screaming his name

so i think that's fair enough

ALSO i think iwa is the type to introduce you to his family

like you've been friends with him since god knows when

so when one of you turns up at the other's frontdoor it became a casual thing??

sometimes you'd find him at your living room with a plate in his hand

and he says

"your parents let me in and i got myself a snack in the fridge by the way."

and you would casually nod and reply

"okay, suit yourself."

LIKE ????

bish i want that wtf??

other times when iwa is with his family his mom would randomly say on a holiday

"you should invite ___ for holiday dinner. it's been a while."

and he be like

"mom, ___ has a family of their own too and it's a holiday dinner."

"what if both families have dinner together?"

not gonna lie your parents became friends bc of the two of you

so he'd text you about the plan of the adults and soon you'll see him with his family at your frontdoor with wrapped food in their hands

after the dinner you and iwa would spend time in your room watching movies

or talking about anything and everything

or other times you'd lay down in silence

and that's enough for the both of you

a/n: i really enjoyed writing this and i hope the same goes for you when reading this;) as usual likes and rbs are very much appreciated and thank you for reading!! ♡

ps: some of you suggested characters so im thinking of doing part 2? what do you think? let me know! also feel free to suggest too :D

Masterlist

[ofallthingsnasty]

please what happens a year after pickings with shiggy and dabi? do you ever see them again and did we end up pregnant? congrats on one year!!

pickings

thank you!! it's on the day, today!! :0 even though i am dead tired, i simply have to answer this one for this special day!! thanks for playing 💖

one-year anniversary mini-event

tw.f!reader, noncon aftermath, and everything it might entail, not to spoil anything! read on your own risk! mentions vomit, some yandere elements

While I was truly trying to leave it up to interpretation, I think you did get pregnant. I tried to hint at it with all the puking you do in the fic - in the end, your oral contraceptive fails and you, in a horrible twist of events, get knocked up. You never really regain the memories from that night - you know something happened (you aren't stupid), you know something is off, but you honest-to-god, you don't even know where to start. You don't know where to report to, what to report, how- not to mention that you have the hangover of your life on the morning after. Have you ever been so hungover that even moving makes the vomit creep up, that you can't really move because everything is too much? It's ghastly and probably borders on alcohol poisoning, but it genuinely paralyzes you for a day or even two. So you let it slide, banking on your usual pill. You don't even remember their faces, hell, you probably don't even remember that it was two people with you. You remember fleeting words, touches, little scenes - and maybe you see the three glasses but that means so little, you know how it goes when you're drunk - all in all, it shakes you to the core, but you can barely make out left from right. Getting blackout drunk is no joke, and this experience takes any fun away from drinking for the rest of your academic career. Now, the father of the child? Dabi? It'll be a miracle if you see him again, wherever you are. That man has a knack for being elusive, sees you across any room before you can spot him, seems to have a sixth sense when it comes to knowing that one of his former conquests are near. Even if he hears about you getting pregnant, for some reason? He won't care. Get rid of it, then. He'll seem so cold about it, but deep down he revels in it - he marked you, true and well. Tomura is a wild card, though. Somewhere between absolute disgust at your obvious party-girl life and some traces of empathy, coupled with the fact that he has very few sexual encounters - if any - he will seek you out again. Not in the way he fantasized about when he fucked your face, not to scare you - just out of curiosity. He may have had some dark, nasty thoughts when he fucked you, but once his head is clear and he returns back to his own boring, little life it's more like it's burning at the back of his mind, he simply has to know. He lingers close to your dorm, finds all your social media accounts and watches out for you - he doesn't necessarily want you to see him but he has to check if it took, if you even remember. You become an interesting little obsession to him - other people check their favorite influencers daily, that man checks on you. Maximizes potential contact with you, is all over your public pics. But I don't think he tries to talk to you, to really show himself. (But sure, he still sometimes jerks off to the memories of that night and its very real, very obvious consequences - he's still a nasty little creeper, deep down). Once the child is there? You'll have to move out of the dorm (and well before your due date, mind you), so who knows where you will be - but he'll know. Will he stick around for much longer? I don't think so, no. But god, that man really, really wants to see that child. Wants to see how they look like, how much they resemble Dabi - there is a certain giddiness to finally, truly have something palpable. Amazing how one night of bad decisions could start a whole new life, huh? When he thinks too long about it, his head will get a little dizzy. A whole new life, a whole new fate, created just like... Could make a man feel like a god, almost.

And ultimately, your academic career? It wouldn't be the worst for mine, it'd be doable to pick it back up, but I do not know about yours - and this is why I truly leave that part up to your interpretation. All in all, it's not a pretty fate. Very bleak, very traumatizing. But I believe in the reader of this fic. She'll get through life and love the kid but I don't think Dabi will ever be a part of that little family.

[keanureevesisbae]

chasing nostalgia part 4

Summary: August and Leilani find Roger

August Walker x Leilani (asian ofc)

Wordcount: 1.9k

Warnings: Surprise, there aren't really any!

Masterlist // chasing nostalgia masterlist // part 3

When August thought back about their time in college besides the sex, he remembers a time where it was three friends, deeply hurting on the inside, but putting on a brave face on the outside. But, unlike other friend groups on campus, they always had this slightly domestic streak over them. In theory, it gave August the shivers. In reality, he looked forward to the days they’d all wake up at his place; Leilani in the middle, flanked by him and Roger.

One morning, Leilani was up long before them and surprised them with a breakfast in bed. It was a sweet and lovely gesture, which she was known for. Small messages scattered across their places, telling them how much they meant to her. It’s nothing he would do himself, but it warmed his heart when he realized she meant it from the bottom of her heart.

One of her notes (which said: I love you, August) was always with him, no matter what the mission was, no matter how long they haven’t been in touch.

Seeing Leilani in the cab, as they drive to the motel Roger is staying at, makes him remember the moments shared in campus and how much has happened since then. The dark circles underneath her eyes, her tired frame, makes him realize how much she has changed. How much time and circumstances have changed her.

And it was all preventable, hadn’t he decided to take that shitty job and actually just finish college, like a normal person.

It took August around half an hour before he was able to locate Roger. They already took a train ride and are finishing it off with this cab drive. Finally, the two of them are standing in front of the motel. It’s sleazy, disgusting and even August—who lived in the most dire circumstances—is absolutely mortified.

‘You go first,’ Leilani says. ‘I can’t go now.’

It’s totally understandable, August gets it. ‘You sure?’ he nonetheless asks, wanting to make sure she is not gonna regret this.

‘I’m sure. Just… Just tell him I love him and I want him home.’

She plops on a brick wall, staring over the roads and despite August not wanting to leave her alone, he still rolls over to apartment number 25. He knocks on the door and he hears the footsteps on the other side. The door opens with a squeak and August is met with a surprising version of Roger.

This is not the Roger he remembers from college College Roger was put together, friendly and looks healthy. This version looks tired, skinny and deep dark circles underneath his eyes. ‘August?’ Roger asks, visibly confused. ‘What are you doing here?’

‘We were looking for you.’

‘We?’

‘Leilani is sitting over there.’

Roger stretches his neck, before his eyes land on Leilani. His breath gets caught in his throat and his feelings are quickly to catch up with him. ‘Fuck, fuck, fuck,’ he sighs, running his hands through his hair, nearly pulling the strands out.

‘Listen,’ August says, ‘I don’t know the exact details of what happened to you two, however I do know she misses you. She loves you. You mean everything to her.’

‘I fucked up with her.’

‘True, but you know her. She loves you and all she wanna knows is why you left and when you’re coming home.’

Roger shakes his head. ‘I can’t, man. I can’t face her. Not after every shitty thing I did to her. I left her, August.’

‘I know that.’ August leans back in his wheelchair and sighs. ‘You’ve gotta talk to her.’

Roger slams the doorpost. ‘Fuck, dude, what do I even say to her?’

‘For starters an apology. Think she deserves that.’

August is on the receiving ends of one of Roger’s glares, but Roger knows August is right and an apology is the least he can do. ‘You’re right.’

It takes Roger around five minutes and two cigarettes, before he is able to go. August watches Roger closely, thinking about the years that have gone by and the even more years he has grown older. He’s fidgety now, nervous and in other words: a total mess.

By the time they are closer to Leilani, she must’ve heard the footsteps, because she looks over her shoulder, her eyes widening when she realizes it’s really Roger.

‘Roger,’ she whispers, jumping off the little wall. ‘How are you? What happened?’

‘I’m so sorry,’ Roger says. ‘I understand you want to yell at me and I totally deserve it.’

‘No, no, no,’ she says. ‘I don’t wanna yell at you, I just want to understand you, that’s all.’

‘Leilani, you have every right to be mad at me.’

‘But I’m not,’ she says, her tone harsher than she probably intended. She takes a deep breath. ‘I’m not like the rest of the world. I’m not like the people you grew up with. I’m me and I’m incapable of being mad at you, to yell at you. The only thing I want to know is why, so I can understand it and maybe make sure this… This will not happen again.’

Roger shakes his head, not believing she is actually meaning this.

She sighs, before walking over to him and giving him a hug. ‘It’s okay. I’m not mad.’

Roger’s pale arms snake around her waist, as he buries his face in her neck. ‘I’m sorry,’ August hears him say. ‘I’m so sorry.’

Like everyone could’ve expected from Leilani, she gently shushes him, whispering it’s okay. ‘Just tell me,’ she says, pulling back and holding his face in her hands, ‘why did you leave me?’

‘I’m sorry,’ Roger sighs.

‘That’s not an answer.’ She sits on the tiny wall again, pulling him with her. August stares at the two of them. His friends who got in so much shit after he left and it shows. They’re both tired, exhausted because of stored away emotions and while Roger’s knee is nervously going up and down, Leilani’s doing the exact same thing she did in college when she was nervous: digging her nails in the palm of her hand. When August was there for them, they weren’t so nervous.

‘I didn’t mean to,’ Roger answers, patting his pockets, before he grabs a cigarette and a lighter. ‘It’s just… I couldn’t look myself in the eyes anymore.’

‘Why not?’ Leilani asks.

He lights the cigarette. ‘Because you were taking care of us, instead of the other way around,’ he says, smoking exiting passed his lips. ‘I promised August I’d always take care of you, of us and then I didn’t.’

‘For fuck’s sake, Roger,’ she says, her tone still soft, yet slightly pissed. ‘Why didn’t you just tell me that? Why did you run away?’

‘I hated myself.’

‘Have you any idea how worried I’ve been?’

‘No,’ Roger says in all honesty and August must hand it to him: if he were in Roger’s shoes, he wouldn’t have been that honest. ‘I don’t. I thought it was for the best.’

‘For the best? Roger, you were all I had!’ She wants to say so much more, but tears are catching up and always used to be putting on some sort of brave face, she hides her face in her hands, heartbreaking sobs muted, but still hearable.

‘Fuck,’ Roger mutters. ‘I’m so sorry, Leilani. I fucked it up so badly with you.’

‘Then why didn’t you just come back?’

‘Because I couldn’t face you.’

August can’t help but scoff. ‘Come on, man,’ he says to his friend, ‘you’ve gotta be kidding. No matter what you do, you know you can always face her.’

As Roger brings the cigarette back to his lips, Leilani, nervously runs her fingers through her locks.

‘I know I haven’t been around,’ August says, ‘so this is probably everything but my place to tell you guys off. However, I’m gonna do it anyway.’

They sigh.

This some sort of situation has happened before. Multiple times even. Roger and Leilani are much more emotional and sometimes tensions can rise. They didn’t talk to one another and August had to help them sort their shit out. It’s not what he loved to do, but he knew that if the roles were reversed, they’d do it too. He remembers vividly Roger and him in a huge fight, the only time they felt jealous towards one another. Leilani didn’t let either one of them leave the room, until they sorted their shit out and she didn’t fall for the many tricks August had up his sleeve.

So, it’s time to pay her back.

‘What happened to your communication?’ August asks. ‘Come on, this is ridiculous. You get mad because she’s making more money than you?’

‘I’m not mad because of that,’ Roger says. ‘Okay, partially, but I don’t like her doing that type of work.’ He looks over to his side, to Leilani and carefully reaches out. ‘Baby,’ he says, I’m so sorry. I hate myself for everything we’ve gotten through. You deserved better. Someone who didn’t walk away when things were hard, when he felt jealous. I don’t deserve you. I had to be there for you, instead of walking away.’

‘But Roger, you were paying for the debts as well. What were you doing?’

‘Selling stupid machines to companies,’ he answers. ‘It was horrendous. Day and night I was facing rejection after rejection, but it was the least I could do. It was our debt.’

She sighs. ‘I really wished you would’ve just told me,’ she says and August leans back in his wheelchair, happy the two of them are talking and properly communicating. From the looks of it, it’s actually working.

‘Asking for forgiveness is too much and I totally understand if you don’t want to,’ Roger says.

She doesn’t say anything, but then she scoots over, closer to him, until there is barely any space between them. ‘I can stop making videos,’ she tells him. ‘We can find another way of making money.’

‘But baby,’ Roger says, ‘if you like it, you’ve got to continue. I can get over myself.’

‘I don’t want to make them anymore,’ she says, ‘especially not when they make you feel miserable. I don’t even like it that much.’

Roger wraps his arms around her upper body, pulling her closer to him. ‘I’m not fucking up again,’ he says, pressing a kiss on top of her head. ‘I’m gonna take good care of you.’

‘I know,’ she whispers.

‘Also,’ August says, ‘since we can’t have financial issues anymore, I’m gonna pay your debts, so you can start fresh.’

They both freeze. ‘What?’ Roger asks.

‘We can’t ask that from you,’ Leilani adds.

‘It may sound too good to be true,’ August says, because he can tell by Leilani’s facial expressions that’s what is going on inside her head. ‘But… I’ve got money and I don’t use it. I’d rather have you guys use it, for something you truly wanna do, wanna build. You were my close friends and when you needed me, I wasn’t there.’

‘August,’ Leilani says, ‘you’re still our friend. Our closest friend and… I mean, I’m not the person to say no when you offer it, but I don’t want you to regret it.’

‘I’m not gonna regret it. Seeing you happy and out of debt, is what I care about.’

Leilani jumps off the wall and wraps her arms around his shoulders. ‘Thank you, thank you, thank you. I’ll forever owe you.’

Roger smiles. ‘Thanks man, we owe you indeed.’

‘Nonsense. It’s for you to have.’

Leilani looks from August to Roger, back to August to Roger again, all with a content smile on her face. ‘Come on,’ she says, ‘let’s get your stuff and go home. All of us.’

♕ ♕ ♕

chasing nostalgia taglist: @diegos-butt // @thelastsock // @liecastillo // @mis-lil-red // @sofiebstar // @abschaffer2 // @crazybutconfidentaf // @summersong69 // @gearhead66 // @xobriellaxo24 // @bourbonrice // @kebabgirl67 // @eldarwen333 // @kingliam2019

[vannybarber]

Put Some Respect On My Name!

Summary: As a wife and a mother to the kids of this asshole, respect is the one thing you better be recieving from him...after some good 🍆 of course. That's number one right there.😏

Ransom Drysdale x Black Reader

BIG ASS PLOT

Words: 5.3k

Warnings: Pregnant¡Reader, swearing, insults, angst, mentions of cheating, SMUT, breeding kink, spanking, oral (female receiving), praise kink, unprotected sex, mentions of religion, threats of violence (nothing extreme).

So here your are. Sitting on you and Ransom's shared California King bed looking at his friend, Derek's Instagram story, disappointed and angry. But mostly angry. Some nasty ass trick is sitting on your baby daddy's lap. Her loppy floppy tits out with a drink in hand and him drinking a Moscato, the one beverage he loved to order everytime he went out.

Last year for New Year's, you had to stop him from ordering more or else you were going to be cleaning him up after puking everywhere at midnight instead of getting a kiss to start off another year.

Your two year old daughter was in her playroom across the hall making a mess with her toys. Usually you'd be down there playing with her but your swollen stomach done prohibited you from doing a lot of things now. But it most definitely ain't stop you from getting what you want from Ransom every day and night. Nothing could ever stop you guys from getting yo freak on. Nothing.

Hugh Ransom Drysdale is most definitely an asshole and you're not gonna sit here and lie, acting like he completely changed when you guys came together. That boy still has his moments, but of course, it would be a chilly ass day in hell before you sit there and take his bullshit. He been learned that.

At this point ,you were thinking of ways to get on his ass about it when he comes home. Should you get the bat and wait at the door on some Beyonce shit ? Or put some bleach in his Fruit Loops like Cardi the next day ? Those sounded a lot better than what you decided to do. You were gonna wait till he got back home and calmly confront him on it, regardless of what your hormones wanted. 6 months pregnant and anger do not go together. You're WAAAAY more vulnerable and bound to do anything now. So you just watch your daughter brush her baby doll, hitting her on the head cause she won't sit still, rubbing your bump and wait for him to come home.

You hear shuffling downstairs and keys hitting the bowl by the front door. His big head home now and you're beyond ready.

You check the time and it's 2:46 am. You been put your child to sleep hours ago. You were just watching Wild N' Out to pass the time, thinking of how you were gonna start off without making yourself even more mad. The baby nor you need any of that. You were internally praying he was gonna get his ass over here soon cause your ass knocked out for a little bit. You were sleepy as hell right now.

Hearing those expensive ass Chelsea boots hit the sleek stairs and up to the second floor, you woke the fuck up real quick. You stay quiet and watch him walk in your daughters room and check on her. You can see with the nightlight him smile and rub her brown cheek with the back of his forefinger, whispering inaudible words to her. Fuck him and his adorable ass.

He bends back up straight and walks out her room closing the door a little and make his way across the hall to your room. He sees you and your pregnant state in your white tube top and grey booty shorts. Simple yet the baddest bitch he's ever laid eyes on and ever will. He smiles while locking eyes with you and all you do is narrow yours back at him getting upset all over again, regardless of the sweet previous moment shared with your baby girl.

He gives you a 'what the hell ?' look and comes over to give you a kiss but you jerk your head back with the stank face and a 'boy move out my face' quietly leaving your mouth. Now he's REALLY confused.

"Mama, what's wrong with you?"

You look at him like he just asked you to get on your knees and bark like a dog.

"What's wrong with me? You really asking that?" raising your voice on the second question.

Technically, he has the right to ask, being that he doesn't know what you know. He probably doesn't even know that Derek was recording him and that broad. Nor does he know that you texted Derek to keep recording him so you know nothing escalates.

Call it what you want, but you know how your man is. He's immature and irresponsible as HELL. If something had popped off that really threatened y'all's relationship, you would've been in that bar with your child on your right hip, earphones in her ear and tablet in hand, cussing him and that girl out.

"You wanna tell me how your night went?" You tilt your head asking sweetly, with a drop of sarcasm. You truly are a petty ass piece of work. And you love it.

"Just get to the point Y/N. The fuck did I do this time ?" At this point he's now visibly annoyed. But you ain't care. This situation is on his part. Y'all could've had a nice night, fucking while Big City Greens playing in the background on the T.V. eventually waking your child up cause you loud as hell, but nooooo. That ain't happening now.

You grab your phone and open back up Instagram, Marta popping up on your feed with Harlan reading a book. You like it and search up Derek's @ then click his story. You flip through countless tabs until you see the man-child standing in front of you, on the screen. You motion him over to the bed.

"Come here, asswipe."

He rolls his eyes, but moves them feets anyway. You turn your phone to him and let the video play. You watched it about a thousand times so you know exactly when it ends. After it does you pull the phone back in your lap and give him a questioning look.

Sometimes it's hard to read his expressions and this was one. It was a mix of slight guilt and double the annoyance. He backs up and stands back at the end of the bed, arms crossed.

"Really? This why you're upset?"

You swear you almost slapped him. And this time you couldn't blame the hormones because it was gonna be ALL YOU. You take a deep breath and lean your back against the cushion headboard.

"I KNOW you did not just ask me that as if I ain't supposed to be bothered by the fact that my husband got some random woman on his lap while I'm at home with his daughter and his growing child."

You deadass don't believe him right now. He really pressing you as if he don't know how you get when you're angry, especially while pregnant.

"My feet hurt. I am TIRED. I can't even move for more than 5 minutes without getting sick and having to sit down. The you come at me with this bullshit" you continue. "What the hell is wrong with you ?"

He just deadpans you. And you stare at his ass right back. You not playing right now.

"Y/N, you never get upset when I go out with my buddies and get hammered." He's flapping his arms around raising his voice at every word.

"What is the big deal now? It's fucking late and you're doing all this right now. What the hell?"

You gather the strength and get out the bed to close the bedroom door cause you about to go AWF.

Getting back on the bed fully sitting up and supporting your own weight, you tie your butterfly braids up in ponytail.

"Listen, you raggedy shitball,"

It's about to go down. You adjust yourself, ready to release the wrath.

"I don't give a damn how late it is. You know better than to go out and let some bitch get close up on you like that. Were you even thinking about me or your kids while she was on you? The fuck was going through your mind? Oh wait, I forgot. You don't fucking think. You have to actually have a damn brain."

"Raggedy shitball? Real mature, babe. Real fucking mature." He says rolling his eyes, finally getting his shoes off and putting them under the chair were his scarf and coat are draped over.

You continue with your rant.

"Ironic for you to comment on maturity, Hugh."

Yep, that's right. You said it. You called him by his ugly ass first name. Linda and Richard must've been out they damn mind naming him that shit. He whipped his head around, any sense of expression just completely wiping from his face. Perfect. Just the reaction you wanted.

"Don't call me that." He stated, pure disgust in his words. To be honest, you don't even blame him. But like stated before, you petty as hell.

"Hugh, Hugh, Hugh. Your name is fucking Hugh" you say in a sing songy voice. Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta.

"You don't get to tell me what to do right now. And back to what I said before. Why you let that girl in your lap like that ?"

"It was completely harmless. We were just having fun. Like you said before, you aren't a jealous person. Stuff like that shouldn't even be affecting you like this." He gets on the bed beside you and your face tore back up again. He's really getting in this fucking bed beside you like nothing.

But he was right though. You aren't a jealous person. A girl can come up to him at a party and flirt right in your face, but you'd never be bothered. Cause at the end of the day, her ass is getting rejected and he's gonna be inside you later the same night. He's yours and you're his. Simple.

"Ransom, just because I'm not a jealous person doesn't mean I'm gonna keep my mouth if our relationship is threatened." This man is actually delusional.

"You never entertain other girls when I'm around and here you are with a girl on your lap and I'm not there to say or do nothing. And you know your shitty friends will just encourage it. "

At this point, you started to get really insecure. Maybe it's the hormones, maybe it's just your logic. But your mind started racing like NASCAR. What really happens when he's out and you're at home? He wouldn't put your marriage and family at risk over a bitch...right? He hasn't cheated on you, has he? These thoughts really weren't good for your right now.

But he must've read your expressions. You were zoned out and he knows you're an over thinker so he had to stop you real quick. He puts his large left hand over your thigh, rubbing it and his right around your ass, leaning his head against your arm, trying to get you to chill. It almost worked, him knowing you liked your thighs rubbed, especially in your state.

But you caught that shit right away. You moved out of his hold and turn your body completely towards him. And then you ask him.

"Have you ever cheated on me?"

He freezes, you swear for at least 2.4 milliseconds and whips his head around to look at you. You turn your head away, somewhat regretting you even asked. You know this fucker loved you and your family with everything. He even said in his vows he would give his all into you. And you believed him. But fuck that right now. You need to know.

"Are you GODDAMN serious right now?!"

Okay, you paused for two things; he used God's name in vain, which you HATED, due to you growing up religious. Even though you don't practice it very often, it still bothered you. And two, he yelled, completely disregarding the fact that your kid is across the hall sleeping.

You snap your head around, braids hitting your face with super saiyan speed and kick him in his hip.

"What the shit, Y/N?"

"First of all, you know how I feel about that fucking word. STOP USING IT. And two, your daughter is sleeping so you need to keep your damn voice down!"

He's rubbing his side with a distorted look, but you could care less. You were fed up. This imbecile wasn't showing you any respect and your weren't gonna wait for him to get it right.

"How the hell would you feel if I went out, sat on some random dude's lap and entertained him while you were at home with our kid? Matter a fact, I'll do one even better. How about while I'm PREGNANT with YOUR baby, that YOU put in me, I sit on him and letting him rub my belly?"

Ransom has a big ass breeding kink. When you told him you were pregnant he was ecstatic. The though of him knocking you up, his seed growing inside of you just gave him pure ecstacy. And don't even get started on when your bump started to form. He was fucking every chance he got. He was in a theme park and you were his favorite ride.

You know you were playing with fire, but that shit felt AMAZING. He was really feeling how you were feeling right now. Them veins were popping out his neck and his face was slightly turning red. Baby boy was LIVID.

"Y/N, cut that shit out. I'm not doing this with your ass tonight." He looked at you with these eyes you've only seen when his family pissed him off at those gatherings he dragged both of you to. Before you had your first child of course. You went to them less after your daughter's birth because he didn't want her around his shitty family. You completely understood.

"Nah, baby boy. Since you want to be so inconsiderate and a triple asshole tonight, you can lay here by yourself and bathe in it." You got your big ass out the bed after minutes of struggling. Grabbing your black Betty Boop pillow with her cute afro, your charger, phone and your Hot Cheetos out the night stand and slipped on your slides, you waddle across the room, heading into the guest bedroom.

You refuse to sleep in the same bed as him, especially since he refuses to admit he's in the wrong. If you stay in there, you're just going to get even more frustrated and you don't want to harm your baby.

"Y/N, baby. What are you doing? Come back in here" he called you from the bedroom.

You shut the door and lock it. You'll be damned if you're gonna come running back cause he aSkEd you to. You settle in the bed, plug your phone up, grab your chips and turn When They See Us on the T.V.

Ransom just lays back on the bed in defeat. He didn't even make an effort to get you back in the room because you're stubborn as a mule. But he takes this time to go over what just happened.

He truly didn't think you would make a big deal. Like you said before, you're not a jealous person, so he didn't think he'd have to worry. Boy, was he all the way wrong. And you did have a point about you entertaining another man. That had his blood boiling. He gets at most irritated when you come with him to events, like the Oakley Country Club in Watertown and you're everyone's distraction.

It was your first appearance with him there and you being a sight to see, had all eyes on you and your body. Hell, even the women were checking you out, no envy or jealousy in sight. He knew then, he was gonna keep you close. You don't remember ever leaving his side that evening. He even volunteered to go into the bathroom with you. He didn't want to take a chance with the females either.

But in all seriousness, he couldn't bear the thought of you with another man. Especially now that you're married and have two kids together. But he really couldn't believe that you'd even suggest that he had been unfaithful to you. Your reasons were plausible, yes, but he was honestly...hurt. He knows what kind of guy he is comes off as, but he'd never intentionally ruin what you guys have built. You were the only one he truly let close.

He knew what he had to do, even though he dreaded it. He had to go apologize. He hates when you're upset with him. Absolutely hates it. Plus you were looking sexy as hell tonight and he need some of that round brown ASAP, no rocky.

Ransom got up and opened the door, making his way down the hall to the guest bedroom, but not before checking his baby's room. She was still fast asleep, little snores leaving her body. Exiting her room, he knew your door would be locked but tried to open it anyway. When it didn't budge, he knocked a couple of times. But you was knocked out.

Then he remembered. Lifting his hand to the top of the door frame, he searched for the thin key that unlocked the bedroom doors. Once he felt it, he grabbed it and inserted it in the door knob. Click. He pushed the door open and looked around to see the T.V. screen on, but paused, and you lying on your side with the Cheeto bag still open like a damn fool.

He shut the door quietly and made his way around the bed. He closed the loud ass bag, which caused you to stir and reposition your legs. He set the bag on the nightstand and crawled into the bed with you. He stared at you for a moment. Looking at your full lips and your wide nose.

Your afrocentric features were always so mesmerizing to him because they were different from all the other women. They were unique and he understood why you took so much pride in them. You had the damn right, especially looking that good. You were never afraid to embrace them. No person of color should ever be afraid to. Ever.

After what felt like an hour of weird ass staring, Ransom started to shake your arm, trying to wake you. You're a heavy ass sleeper, so it took him a while. You opened your eyes, squinting trying to figure what the fuck just woke your ass up. Feeling a dip in the bed and a presence next to you, Ransom comes into sight.

Even though this man is finer than a MOTHERFUCKER, you still turned your nose up when you looked at him. Your ass was still mad and it was ridiculous. Understandable, but ridiculous as hell. You could only imagine what he wanted now. You roll your eyes.

"Listen, I know you're still pissed at me and whatever, but I just came in here to.... apologize."

He averted his gaze to the T.V. You know how difficult it is for your baby to apologize for anything because even though he clearly in the wrong, he will never ever accept it nor admit it. And damn sure never apologize.

"I realize how you felt when you saw that video", he continued. "I would be even more pissed if you were the one in someone else's lap and I couldn't kick their ass as soon as I saw it."

You chuckled a little bit because it's true. He would be angry as shit. Although, you'd never be in that position because you love and respect him too much. But you let him finish before you spoke.

"With that being said, I'm sorry for my actions. Believe it or not, I'm still getting adjusted to being a husband and a father. I'm still struggling to give up my old habits and the shit I'm so used to doing. It's not easy, baby."

You grab is strong jaw and make him face you. He hasn't made eye contact with you this entire time. You almost felt bad, but he needed to understand. Understand where you were coming from and understand how it made you feel.

"Ransom, I'm not asking you to completely change who you are. I just want to know that you're in this for good. Because you can't turn back now. We've come too damn far. And I'll be damned if you decide to give up your responsibilities. Your ass gon' be grass."

He smiled a teeny bit, because what can you say? You're a natural born comedian. You can turn any situation in to some funny ass shit. But you get back to your point.

"I want you to be able to go out and have fun, but also come back and be a husband and a father. I value my independence just as much as you, so I get it. Just remember what you have. Don't fuck it up for some pussy, alright? That's all I'm saying."

You look him in his sea blue eyes. Damn, them thangs are hypnotic as hell. But you search for something that tells you he understands. That's all you fucking want. Him to understand. But you definitely got your answer.

Just as you were about to ask him, he shoots his face towards you and attacks your mouth like a damn wild ass pig. You were thrown all the way off, but you checked back into reality and kissed him back. You guys had this amazing ass way of getting in sync when you kissed. No matter who initiates it, you flow amazingly.

After a few mintues of saliva attack, you pull away tryna breathe cause he was about to take all your fucking oxygen. He laughs at the look on your face. You end up cracking up too. You can't help it. And he knows it.

"I completely understand, mama. I've definitely taken this into consideration. I learned my lesson." He smiles down at you. Internally you're proud as fuck because it's like you raised a bad ass kid into a well behaved one. The power your ass holds is amazing.

Then you look at the door trying to figure out how the hell he got in the room. "The key." You nod in realization. He rubs your thigh again, and this time, you don't stop him. Instead he stops himself. You look at him confused as fuck.

"But I'm gonna let you sleep in here, since you seem to be so cozy." He was messing with you. Fuck him. He gets up off the bed and head towards the door, but not before looking back to catch your reaction. You had a 'get your ass back over here' look on your face. But he just smirked. That signature smirk.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" He really out here testing you right now. The balls on this motherfucker...

"Ransom, get your ass over here and give me what I want." You look down at his crotch, imagining him without his wool Reiss pants. He follows your eyes, still holding that smirk, but not forgetting to widen it. You lusting after his fLeSh turned him on bad. And it felt so good.

You already know you're to hard to resist. Everyone loves chocolate. Even Ransom's lactose intolerant ass.

You start to rub your belly, purposely drawing his attention, really making him turned on for you. You can feel that that tropical rain storm in your Fenty underwear.

And that boy was ready to start swimming. He expediTiously got back on the bed and in between your legs. You give him that look and that's all he needed. Connecting your lips to his and moving them in perfect sync like always, he starts rubbing up and down the side of your full belly.

"So fucking perfect and all of it's for me."

You pause.

"And who said all of this was for you, Mr. Drysdale?"

Not amused by your comment, he slaps your ass louder than a bitch and you shut your ass up real quick. Not before letting out a little giggle though.

He lifts your heavy ass and pulls the tube top over your head, letting your swole breasteses fall into position. Your areolas widened since having your daughter and Ransom LIVED for it. You were definitely enjoying them massages and those lips treatments he gave you when they were sore, just like now.

He starts kneading the left breast and continues to make out with your face like an animal. His left arm is holding your ass up. He eventually lays you back down, knowing damn well his ass is tired of holding you. You ain't blaming him either.

He hooks his lips on the nipple of the same breast, twirling his deadly tongue all around it. You moan with your head thrown back cause it feels good as hell. He lets go and replaces his mouth with his hands and twirls the nipple with his mouth on the other.

All you could do was mumble cuss words and grab his hair. He was really fucking you up and the real fucking didn't even start yet.

Trailing kisses all the way down your beautiful bump, down all the stretch marks till he reaches your shorts. He wasted no time getting them off and disposing them on the clean floor. Whatever he throw on the floor HE'S picking that shit up, not you. You'll make sure of that.

He looks directly at your covered pussy with excitement in his eyes. More excited than you were, if that's even possible. He takes his thick index finger and rubs you through your panties, completely soaking them. You just watch him, lust dialating your pupils.

He yanks them off, almost taking you off the damn bed at the same time, so you had to re-adjust yourself. He spreads your legs on their sides of his wide shoulders and licks from your core to the hood that covered your clit. You jerked a little cause you were in your second trimester, the horny trimester. You were 🌃 sensitive 🌃.

Then his annoying ass starts lapping in circles in super saiyan speed. You cry out and grab your left breast, squeezing and rubbing it. He stretches his left hand out and takes the right one, doing the same thing. Your back was continuously arching. You know your baby was fed up.

After a couple of more laps, your body finally can't take anymore and you cum all over his mouth. He has the audacity to keep going, even when your clit is hypersensitive, making you literally whimper, so you have to slap his head to get him to stop.

He pulls away with that stupid famous smirk.

"All that shit you're always talking, but you couldn't take a little sensitivity?" He teases you. But that's alright, cause you gon' remember that next time you're on your knees for him. When he comes, you not taking your mouth off him until you feel like it.

"Just fuck me already before I change my mind." You don't know why you even said that shit. He can tease you all you want. You'll never not have your legs or mouth open, ready for him to stick his dick wherever he feels.

He just chuckles, cause he knows that too.

Taking your body, he flips you on your left side and settles behind you, dick right against your ass. Its one of your favorite positions because he could hit your sweet spot perfectly this way. And he could rub your bump at the same time. Beneficial for the both of your greedy asses.

He was taking way to long so you grab his dick and line it up with your pussy and push the tip in slowly, playing with your own arousal. Ransom just watched. He loved seeing you desperate for his stupid ass, but you gave zero fucks at the moment.

Finally you slip his huge ass girth inside you and you moan out loud as hell. You really just be turned on by anything at this point. He then takes back the lead and pushes further till he bottoms out inside you. He's heavily breathing his hot ass breath on your neck like a weirdo, but fuck it.

Once both of you are adjusted, he starts moving in and out of you. The position made your walls hella tighter and he was already hitting your spot. His tight arm is wrapped around your stomach now. You constantly moan his name and he's just encouraging it.

"Ransom, fuck, baby just like that"

"You love when I fuck you like this, don't you pretty girl?"

You hated when he called you "pretty girl, sweet girl, or good girl" because you become a straight whore for him right away. He's such an asshole.

"Yes, Daddy- please don't stop"

"Tell me how bad you want it baby"

There he go with these fucking games. Always wanting to hear you beg.

"I want it so bad, Daddy ! pleASe give it to mE"

Happy Ransom?

He starts to pick up the pace and you feel the pleasure in your toes. It just travel from there all around your body and you can't say anything but "don't stop" and moan uncontrollably.

You start getting close and he can tell by the way you pick up the moans. So he starts going faster. But never forgetting to add a little nasty dialogue.

"I can feel you ready to come sweet girl. Keep clenching around me baby" That shit just made you even more whore-knee. If you weren't already pregnant, he was definitely gonna put a baby in you that night.

"Baby I'm close- fill me up Ransom please "

You're begging for this man to cum inside you, but he always wanna play a damn game.

"Hmmm do you truly deserve to cum baby? I don't know if you do.."

You wanted to hit him so bad, but he wouldn't let you come if you did. So you go along with it.

"Yes Daddy I'll do anything- Please just let me cum !" You screamed.

At this point you were loud as 🌃fuck🌃 .

After more begging he finally let you come.

"Oh shit Ransom- FUCK" You come all over his dick and shortly after, he came right behind you. Filling you up just like you wanted. He slumped against your back and you lowered your shaky leg.

"You always take me so well baby girl." He starts kissing your neck. You could literally hear that loppy ass smile he has on his face everytime y'all get done. But you get all tingly inside because you love when he praises you. Makes you feel proud of yourself.

"Well there's not much to take so...it's whatever." What are you without a teasing remark after every other sentence? But he always has a clapback.

"Its funny you say that because the other day you were practically in tears because my dick was "too much for one woman to take" and that I was practically torturing you." At this point you're turned over facing him grinning like a Cheshire cat and him smiling right back at you.

"Oh shut the fuck up, with your annoying ass." You snap back at him playfully, rolling your eyes.

"You love me, my chocolate bunny." He let's out an audible yelp when you kick him in his leg. You hate when he calls you that. "Cut it out Ransom, or you're not touching me for a week."

There you go again saying the dumb shit. You both know that YOU could never go through with that.

"Fine by me", he states unphased. Cause he knows you could never.

You roll your eyes for the 50thousanth time.

"You're lucky I love your ass."

"I love you too pretty girl" he winks.

Just as you were about to get up, you hear something jiggle the doorknob and someone huffing and puffing outside the door. That little girl over here jumping up and down tryna to open the damn door. You're literally hollering at her struggle. Truly sick in the fucking head.

"Mama! Where Papa ?" Ransom grins as he throws you his blue sweater so you can cover up and gets up to let your baby girl in.

You truly cannot stand this guy.

This all came to me so fast 😭 I hope y'all like it lmaoo

[sirenascales]

-> double black [part five] 18+

-> Chuuya x 1stPOV!F!Reader x Dazai

-> Who knew getting fired from work could lead to this?

-> Content: SMUT, slight angst, violence, murder, swearing

The killer is revealed! What surprises are in store? [Chuuya x 1stPOV!F!Reader x Dazai]

2,420 words

warning: mentions of domestic violence and rape, violence and straight up murder

note: here we go... this is the second to last chapter :) hope you all enjoy reading! no smut again lol

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Final || masterlist

"This place... is creepy as hell," I mumbled under my breath, glancing curiously over at Dazai as we climbed out of the car and started walking towards the large abandoned factory. "Are you sure this is where Ranpo told us to go?"

"Yep~ He's usually never wrong, so there must be something here we can find~" Dazai sang, nonchalantly walking inside the factory. I sighed deeply and quickly followed him, shivering at the creepy aura it gave off.

"Ugh, does somebody really hide out here? It's giving me the creeps," I whined, hugging myself and rubbing my hands up and down my arms.

"What if there are ghosts here?" Dazai wondered and I shuddered deeply, fear striking my heart at the mere thought.

"Don't say that!"

"Will you two shut up?" A third voice spoke up and my eyes widened in surprise.

"Chuuya? What are you doing here? And... who's that?"

In the middle of the factory, Chuuya stood before a man tied up to a single chair, a linen bag over his head. Chuuya had a deep frown on his face, obviously extremely irritated with something.

"Wh-who is that?! Please, help me!" The man begged, howling in pain when Chuuya kicked him in the stomach.

"Shut the hell up!"

"Is that the one?" Dazai asked and Chuuya nodded. I looked at them in confusion.

"The one... what?"

"This," Chuuya started. "Is the one that's been stealing from the Port Mafia for well over a year. Along with that bastard Taichi."

My jaw fell open in shock, not expecting that at all. "Wh-what do you mean stealing?"

"Exactly what it sounds like. Taichi was in charge of moving product and bringing back the cash from the Northern area of the city. He's been getting his hands in the product, selling them little by little on the side to line his pockets." Chuuya seemed to grow angrier and angrier by the second as he explained. "We've been investigating that thief for three months and we finally pieced it together. Thanks to you." Chuuya's angry gaze is now on me and I feel my heart drop to the ground.

"What do you mean? Me?" I stuttered, looking over to the man as he began to struggle in his chair. He rocked from side to side, pleading loudly for his life.

"Please, let me go!"

There was a large bang! followed by a scream as Chuuya swiftly brought out a handgun, shooting the man right in the head. I was the one who screamed.

"I hate disloyalty," Chuuya spat, his voice cold. His equally icy glare narrowed on Dazai, who didn't even react to the man being killed, unlike myself. My now shaking hands were clamped over my mouth, in shock by what I've just witnessed.

"So tell me," Chuuya began, now turning to face me. "How is it that you knew that Taichi was meeting a drug dealer... the dead man at your feet specifically?" He didn't even give me a chance to answer before he continued. "How did you know that? Were you there?"

I rapidly shook my head, heart thudding in my chest. "No!" I exclaimed, taking a step back.

"Really? Taichi was killed in the South. That wasn't his area, and he wasn't even assigned to move the product. Hasn't been for months since the investigation started." Chuuya's voice was even, and it sent shivers down my spine. I took another step back. "Well? Explain yourself."

I gulped, absolute fear coursing through my body. I could feel the sweat slide down my temple and. "W-well, I overheard him talking about what he does for you. So! I just assumed..."

Chuuya scoffed, laughing dryly. "Plausible, yes." He dug into his coat's inner pocket and I gasped sharply when he held up my knife. I was stunned, thinking I had lost it, but Chuuya had it all along. Suddenly, that day I went to visit him in his office ran through my head, and I realized that was when I last saw my knife. Fuck.

I felt a sense of dread wash over me.

"I know you take excellent care of this knife, clean it regularly. Except for the blood in the hilt."

"And the bloody clothes I found under the sink in your bathroom," Dazai finally spoke up and I gasped sharply. "You probably should have thrown those clothes away before you had me sleep over. You know I like to snoop," He continued on as I clenched my shaking fists. Dazai circled around so he and Chuuya now stood before me, tall and intimidating. "You're the killer, aren't you? Actually, you don't have to answer that. We already know that you are."

I didn't say anything, my lips pulled in a thin line as I stared at the ground. I started to breathe a bit heavily, heart pounding and my blood boiling with the anger and rage I tried to keep at bay from the moments I wake up in the morning to the time I go to sleep at night.

"Well?" Chuuya yelled, growling. "Aren't you gonna say anything?! You killed him!"

I lifted my head up, and the two men looked genuinely surprised at the look in my face, eyes dark and narrow and full of anger. I was seething, but I couldn't help the sick, twisted smile that grew on my face. "And what if I did?" I asked, tilting my head to the side. "Hell hath no fury, right?"

Suddenly, there was an almost inhuman shriek as a figure jumped out from behind the men, knife brandished and slicing right at Dazai. Dazai luckily dodged it, the figure landing on its feet before standing tall. Dazai and Chuuya are both shocked, as they now stared at the perfect clone of myself. The clone didn't give Dazai any time to process, running towards him again and slicing almost wildly with the knife in hand.

"My, what a turn of events!" Dazai exclaimed a bit excitedly, taking in my clone's features. She looked exactly like me, except she looked more wild, her face contorted into one full of rage, anger and anguish with a seemingly endless stream of tears pouring down her face. Her movements were erratic, cries leaving her mouth as she lunged for the attack.

Meanwhile, I had engaged in a fight with Chuuya, but even I could immediately tell just how outmatched I was and that I had no hopes of beating him. Still, I threw a punch at him, able to get him right in his cheek, but he quickly retaliated with a harsh kick to my side. I cried out in pain, clutching my side.

"Are you crazy," Chuuya hissed. "Ability user or not, I'm one of the best martial artists in the Port Mafia! You're not beating me!" He dodged yet another of my punches, jumping back before he kicked me again right on my torso. I grunted in pain, falling on one knee.

"I'm afraid I don't like you," Dazai told my clone as he ducked down to dodge a wild swing. He quickly shot up, successfully headbutting the clone. She cried out in pain, covering her face with her hands as she fell back, Dazai reaching out to grab one of her wrists. As soon as he did so, she disappeared, his ability coming into effect. He let out a tired whew! dusting his hands off before turning to the fight between Chuuya and I.

Even if Chuuya did outmatch me, I tried to keep fighting him, until he suddenly grabbed me and threw me hard on the ground. I gasped, the wind knocked out of me. "Fuck!" I cursed, struggling to breathe as I tried to stand up. I am forced right back on my knees, a hand pressing on my neck. My anger disappeared, and by then, I knew that it was Dazai.

Now that all my anger, and fury was gone, all I had left was the immeasurable despair that settled in my chest, tears now freely sliding down my cheeks. I couldn't stop my sobbing, feeling the two men's wide eyes on me.

"He was beating her!" I cried out, just desperate for them to hear me out before they passed their judgements on me. "Taichi... was beating Keiko and... I never knew! She's been my best friend ever since I moved here and I never had a clue! Not one! Until that day she called me.. when I was at your place," I glanced at Dazai, lip quivering as I struggled to continue. "I went home and when she came over... I knew something was wrong I... then she took off her clothes and there wasn't an inch of her skin below her neck that wasn't covered in bruises I-" 

I choked up, covering my face as I started to sob uncontrollably, the pain of once seeing my friend who was so full of life, looking like a scared, beaten animal as she stood before me. As I cried, Dazai and Chuuya looked at each other, just stunned beyond words.

"I knew..." I spoke up after a moment. "That one of these days, he would actually kill her. That's why she was so afraid to leave him. He was already beating her, and raping her, what would stop him from killing her if she defied him?! Huh?!" Even with Dazai still holding onto the back of my neck, I started to grow angry. "So, I killed him. I killed him before he could have a chance to kill her!" I then stared at Chuuya in his blue eyes. "And I'll do it again."

"After Taichi dropped Keiko off at my apartment, I snuck out through the emergency stairwell and back exit to follow him. The building is old, so I knew there were no cameras."

I carefully kept the hood of my hoodie over my head as I followed Taichi from a distance, a determined look on my face, one that said that I will not stop.

I soon followed him into the alleyway, where I hid behind a dumpster and watched him do his drug deal. He was grinning and laughing, acting smug and it was honestly fucking disgusting.

"I waited until he was completely alone before confronting him. He didn't expect to see me at all."

"What the hell are you doing here?" Taichi demanded, glaring at me. He wasn't that nice, friendly guy he played himself to be anymore.  "What the fuck are you doing in Port Mafia business?"

"I honestly don't give a fuck about the Port Mafia. I do give a fuck about Keiko, and you're going to stay the fuck away from her."

He just stared at me, before he threw his head back and laughed loudly. "Okay... okay, stupid bitch. That was kind of funny. Just go back home before--"

"And before he could finish his sentence, my clone stabbed him right in his back."

I watched Taichi fall to the ground, my clone falling on top of him, shrieking as she stabbed him over and over again in a rage filled flurry. There was blood everywhere, some even spraying on my clothes as I watched.

Then, I stepped closer, pulling out my knife and landing one more final blow right in his chest, killing him.

"And he was as good as dead."

"... was Keiko in on this?"

Keiko opened the door to my apartment, letting me rush inside before closing and locking the door. She turned to look at me, eyes wide as she took in the blood on my clothes.

"Did... did you..." she stuttered softly, and I nodded.

"He's dead."

Keiko burst into tears.

"You know the answer to that already."

I was sitting on the ground now, head hung low as I stared at my hands. "I killed someone," I said softly, eyes burning with tears as I clenched my fists. "But when it comes to the people I love... I will do it again. So," I turned to Dazai. "Turn me into the police." I then turned to Chuuya. "Or just shoot me in the fucking head. I'm not strong enough against either of you... I just ask that you keep Keiko out of this. She has suffered far too much already."

I kept my head down, Chuuya and Dazai standing above me. Chuuya had a displeased look on his face, though Dazai's expression looked a bit forlorn.

"You'd do anything to protect your friends," Dazai stated and I looked up at him, looking broken, and small. Dazai gritted his teeth, frowning deeply.

"This is so fucked up," Chuuya grumbled, his mind moving at a mile a second as he rubbed his temples. Taichi was as good as dead anyways, seeing as him stealing from the Port Mafia was punishable by death. So what the hell is he supposed to do now? Chuuya growled in frustration.

"Did you guys..." I started, voice small as a thought plagued my mind. "...know all along...?" I bit my lip, keeping my gaze on the floor. "And when we-"

"It's not what you think," Dazai spoke up, knowing exactly what I was thinking. "You were just sloppy. But I don't blame you for panicking, bella."

"I knew as soon as you brought up the drug deal," Chuuya spoke up and I scoffed, laughing at my own stupidity. "I just wanted to fuck you 'cause of that dress."

Dazai snorted while I couldn't help the short laugh that escaped my mouth despite the situation. I shook my head, sighing deeply. I just decided to accept their answer, as this wasn't the right time to dwell upon my insecurities. I glanced over to the dead body of Taichi's accomplice, thinking he was probably going to die by the Port Mafia's hand anyway.

Dazai followed my gaze, tilting his head a bit as he tapped his chin. "There is no DNA evidence," Dazai recalled and Chuuya narrowed his eyes at him.

"Yeah, so?" he replied, stuffing his hands in his pocket.

"So," Dazai started, glancing over at me still on the ground. "There is no proof of her involvement. Man, just what will I tell the Boss now?!" Dazai threw his hands up dramatically, Chuuya's eye twitching in annoyance.

Still, the Executive kept his mouth shut, taking in the meaning of Dazai's words. Then, he looked over at me, blue eyes staring me down before his lips twitched upwards a bit.

"Oh yeah... I won the race."

-End

tags in replies!!

[brainrotallthewaydown1312]

I'll start with the ones I have already accrued this year, it's already may so strap in. im organizing by fandom but other than that it's in no order. also I'm including ships as blorbos and the characters on their own, it's my list and i do what i want

Leverage

the single best crime show ever made. please watch it. my children. and no, i am not leaving anyone out

OT3 (Parker x Hardison x Eliot) (i will go down with this ship forever and it is canon in my heart. and according to John Rogers. and the actors. and my eyeballs)

Parker (chaos gremlin. also autism)

Hardison (my lil dude also chaos bisexual with adhd)

Eliot (my lil grump)

Sophie (the ot3 needed a parent and she does not disappoint)

Our Mr. Wilson (lil guy)

Breanna (funky nerd. i love her. and her ace space sticker makes me so happy)

Sterling (garbage man derogatory. i hate this insurance cop turned actual international cop with a passion. him being written so well will haunt me to my grave)

Chaos (funky lil weirdo. also can't go wrong with Wil Wheaton)

Merlin

the cavernous rot has been growing in my brain since I was 7 years old. and it has not stopped growing in the 15 years since. the day these blorbos go dormant is the day i die.

Merthur (obviously I'm not stupid i have eyes. i knew these fucks were gay before i knew i was gay. and before i knew what gay was)

Merlin (love the "baby gorl to tired grump" arc. also he is the peak of twink-for-title-character)

Arthur (pathetic damp kitten. i want to feed him decency through a little dropper. and maybe slap him round the head a bit. because he is dumb and also stupid)

Gwen (best character in this series. not favorite because i don't pick those but objectively best person and best written character)

Gwaine (obligatory bisexual with ADHD)

Lancelot (sad boy hours and also the only man with a braincell in the whole show. if you want this show to hurt more, watch it with the reading that Lance is in love with Merlin)

The Knights™ (they are like little puppies)

Morgana (tragically)

Aithusa (deserved better)

Gaius (i may have stolen my personality from him as a child. the world will never know)

Six of Crows

specifically the books and season 2 of the Netflix adaptation. nothing against it, but i never got into the rest of the grishaverse. just these goofs

Kaz Brekker (my child (derogatory) i picked up this series because i heard about him and i was right to do so. grumpy lil storm cloud with his dramatic ass crow cane. i want that cane so bad)

Inej (i relate to her growth and love her badassery)

Kanej (Kaz x Inej) (only straights in this series i support. grump for grump supremacy. they both need someone to put them in their place and this works perfectly. also the Angst™ hits different with these two)

Jesper (obligatory bisexual with adhd. dramatic bitch i love him)

Wylan (my child (affectionate) small kitten that deserves the world and got nothing. nothing and Jesper)

Wesper (Wylan x Jesper) (because obviously. also the fanfic of them that was the adaptation was adorable if entirely separate. if you only look at the show their romcom ass storyline is the perfect foil for whatever kanej have going on. they watered my crops for months.)

Kesper (Kaz and Jesper) (not my main ship for either of them and they aren't necessarily romantic or sexual but there is something queer here. i don't know what, but something. found family. queerplatonic. exes turned besties. something)

Nina (i love her so much. also give her a girlfriend yesterday. i honestly don't care which girlfriend, just any girlfriend)

Ted Lasso

This is my newest set of children but i love them so much. this show has knocked me off my feet

Roy Kent (grump of the year. i am stealing several of his lines both as vocal stims and as personal catchphrases)

Jamie Tartt (it's the growth for me. and he is baby girl. also obligatory chaos bisexual with adhd)

Keeley Jones (the smartest one on the show i swear to God. i will die on that hill. they all need therapy and Keeley is the closest a lot of them get for a long time. until Sharon)

RoyJamieKeeley (i will go down with this ship in my clown makeup after that korrasami ass ending) (also the ship names in this fandom are absolute shit. where's the creativity? the flavor?)

Ted (obviously but i do love him so much. he reminds me a lot of the friend that got me into this show)

Beard (i haven't related to a character so much in a long time. he's quiet and he's in the background but he's still important and he's always on top of everything because he's an observer. but he's a mess himself. i wish we had gotten more of him)

Nate (joker arc and all)

Rebecca (girlboss)

Higgens (i love how everyone is so intense in one way or another and higgens is just a dude™)

Sam Obisanya (i just got him but if anything happens to him i will kill everyone)

Dani Rojas (i love this goofy ADHD little fucker. i love how bouncy and small he is and i love how he says his own name like a little pokemon)

Trent Crimm (sarcastic, bitter, gay, old man trying to be better? that's several of my boxes. and his hair is perfect)

tedependant (Ted x trent, also know as the singular acceptable ship name in this whole fandom. it's like the straights beat us to all of them except this one) (I'm not even to the point where there is a lot to go on, but this ship is adorable. they are a perfect sunshine/raincloud couple especially with Trent's season 3 arc which i have been told about before getting to)

Phoebe (she gets RoyJamie together by asking a kid question or saying something innocent that clicks it into place for them, fight me)

Puppet History

i did not expect to get so hype about this series when i got into it but here we are

the professor (need i say more)

Descendants

my friend has a recurring hyperfixation with these movies and the fandom and i got dragged into it this time around. and honestly, no regrets. Kenny Ortega can do no wrong

Uma (i love her)

Harry Hook (obligatory chaos bisexual with adhd. "i never learned to count because I'm number one" ass bitch)

Ben (begrudgingly because he is a little flat, but harry can fix that)

Benry (Ben x Harry) (see above)

Malvie (Evie x Mal. Mal is my least favorite character that i actually like but this ship. it just makes sense)

Umal (Uma x Mal. also just makes sense)

Jay (best himbo boy)

Carlos (my lil guy)

Dude (i am stealing him from Carlos)

Gil (Himbo²)

Gay (gil x jay, they have the single best ship name in the series. top 10 ship names of all time in my book. also they have so much chemistry in like two minutes of screentime together and for what? studios need to allow Kenny Ortega to let booboo Stewart kiss a man)

Doug (Doug is transfem and helps Evie realize she is a lesbian. fight me on this. i will win)

Hades (hear me out: is he a bad dad? yes. is he kinda shitty? yes. but that deadbeat dad duet kicked ass and if you engage with the other stuff like the wedding short, he has growth. and he's played by Cheyenne Jackson. and his lair is a vibe)

IT Crowd

after watching this as a kid and not thinking about this show for a little under a decade, the hyperfixation slapped me hard in the face literally the night before it was taken off of Netflix. i will die mad about it

Roy (fuckin dork. "have you tried turning it off and on again" has lived rent free in my mind even when the rest of the show wasn't. that and "0118-999-88199-9119-725...3" also, fight me, obligatory chaos bisexual with adhd)

Moss (one of the first examples of a heavily autistic coded character i remember relating to as a child. i love him)

Roy x Moss (i refuse to acknowledge their ship name because it uses Roy's last name. that was mentioned literally once and Ross is right there) (this ao3 tag is how i survived the month of march. and part of April. there are less than 300 in the tag and like 80 of them are one person in the last two years. thank you to that person)

Richmond (the best character. wish there was more of them)

Douglas (Matt Berry strikes again. like 15 years ago but still)

New Girl

one of my red flag sitcoms. when this pops up in my Netflix history it is always because i am depressed. but it is actually a good show and they moved it to Hulu, so it's fine probably

Nick Miller (the similarities i have with this man are upsetting. for everyone else. I'm fine. probably)

Schmidt (baby girl. derogatory)

Winston (my best lil weirdo)

Jess (i may be Nick, but i have a friend that is Jess. to defend my case, it is the same friend who got me into both descendants and Ted lasso in the span of one month. the only difference between us and the characters is that we have no romantic chemistry and are both aro)

Cece (obligatory chaos bisexual with adhd. but she is the rare femme variety. and also somehow the braincell of the group. i love her

Schmece (hell of a ship name for a hell of a ship)

Dracula Daily

i read the book as a kid, so last year i thought I'd get the memes if i just followed the tag but i got lost so fast. so this year i made the mistake of actually following dracula daily and re: dracula and now i can't get it out of my head

Johnathan Harker (baby girl)

Mina (boss ass bitch)

(i am slightly behind due to my other hyperfixations, but i know more of these guys will join the list as the year goes on)

Renfield

i watched this with my friends because of dracula, and i love it so much. i know this movie is fairly recent but it needs more fics immediately. go watch it. it about two pathetic men breaking up and one of them having his bisexual awakening with Awkwafina, the girlboss. and Ben Schwartz and Nicolas cage are there

Renfield (say it with me: it's about the growth)

Rebecca Quincy (girlboss)

Nicolas Cage (Dracula)

Tedward "Teddy" Lobo (yes that is his canonical name. he is played by Ben Schwartz and i love this goofy little fuck. i also hate him. it is a Blorbo specific love-hate thing)

The Therapist from the support group (have i forgotten his name? yes. does that matter? no. he has taken up a small corner of my brain and he is just a funky lil dude)

More to come as i inevitably continue to juggle several hyperfixations at a time, gaining them quicker than i lose them. wish me luck

i have decided to start keeping an ongoing list of Official Blorbos™️ of 2023 because i am collecting them left and right and there is so much coming out this summer.

Criteria:

a blorbo here is defined as a character who has wormed their way into one of the fandom cavities in my brain and are living there rent free for two weeks or longer weather or not i have actively engaged with their canon that day. this is can on their own as a character i'r as part of a ship that has started spreading brain spores

of 2023 means that the blorbage has to be active. i have many Blorbos already, all of whom i love. but this list is for blorbos who's dens are free of cobwebs and whose fields are watered since the start of the year

there probably will be multiple Blorbos per media, they are all my children and i will not pick favorites. and if i say favorite, ignore me i am excited