#knha heathers au

[kiyomi-mizumi-1y]

It’s Sunday, y’know what that means >:) Ikuto Chandler ghost time

@rescue-hero-cardiac

[kiyomi-mizumi-1y]

last cursed Sunday before I’m in Mexico lmao but anyways here—

Hoshizawa: I’m here to apologize.

Ikuto: Hope you brought kneecaps, BITCH-

——————

Ikuto: Alright let’s get to it. Beg.

——————

*Everybody harmonizing over Ikuto’s “suicide note”*

Meanwhile Ghost Ikuto: *waving his hand like a beauty queen*

——————

Boni: Like when Ikuto and I got our ears pierced at the mall..

*switches mic side to another news channel*

Boni: I can still remember the late night talks on the phone.

*switches again and proceeds to say something i didn’t understand lmao*

——————

Momo: Me and (Kurt and Ram) and Boni came to pour a jug of Thunderbird on Ikuto’s grave, you know, from his homies- But they drank it all.

Hoshizawa: Wait- After everything that happened at (Kurt’s) party, why did you call me?

Momo: Oh, well that was the deal. If I got you to come (Kurt) promised to leave me alone..

Hoshiz:

Hoshiz: So- So you avoided day break by volunteering me for day break? I’m leaving.

——————

Boni: Goddamn it Ram, I said I’M DONE!

(Ram): Wait up, Boni, don’t walk awayyyy!

Boni: Sober up, idiot!

——————

Ikuto: God, I’m gonna be coughing up drain cleaner for eternity!!

——————

Boni: Oh, we’re cleaning out Ikuto’s locker?? Little respect??

Ghost Ikuto: Ugh, Boni is such a poser! Tano, tell her to stop touching my stuff!

Ghost Ikuto:

Ghost Ikuto: Tano. TANO!

Hoshizawa: SHUT UP!

Boni: YOU SHUT UP! I DON’T HAVE TO SHUT UP ANYMORE! *holds up Ikuto’s earring before putting it on*

Momo: But that was Ikuto’s earring-

Boni: Shut up Momo!

Momo: Sorry Boni.

Boni: Since Ikuto’s now gone, someone needs to replace him!~

Hoshiz: Replace Ikuto..?

Ghost Ikuto: Puh-lease.

——————

Ghost Ikuto: And they lived happily ever after! You really believe that? You think it all goes back to normal?

——————

Hoshiz: STOP IT. STOP.

Ghost Kurt and Ghost Ram: *walk of shame*

——————

Hoshizawa: *grabs (Martha) by the shoulders*

Ghost Ikuto: Do you have the guts?!

——————

Boni: Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast?

Momo: Sorry, Boni.

——————

Momo: I’ve thought about killing myself-!

Boni:

Boni: What the HELL are you doing?

——————

Boni: *grabs Momo’s arm* What’s your damage, Momo? Are you saying Westerburg isn’t a nice place? Where’s your school spirit!? You don’t deserve to wear our school colors!-

——————

Ghost Ikuto: They can’t help us. Nobody can help us. We’re alone in the ocean!

Hoshizawa: -Just like all of you idiots! Ikuto was a monster, just like Kurt and Ram AND I KILLED THEM-!

Hoshizawa:

Literally Everyone Else:

Hoshizawa: W-What are you all thinking about..?

Boni, laughing: Some people will do ANYTHING if they think it’ll make them popular!!

——————

(Now after all that drama Hoshizawa and Momo hug because they deserve wholesomeness)

——————

JD: Well if she’s your friend why are we letting Mizumi live, the bitch that made Neko want to kill herself!?

——————

Boni: W-What’s in the envelope?

JD: Just a reminder that you and (Martha) used to be friends!

Boni: Oh crap.

Boni:

Boni: Where’d you get these pictures? Did Tano give them to you? What do you want, money..?

——————

Boni: Hey guys, missed you after 8th period!

Hoshizawa: We were avoiding you.

Momo: What you did to me sucked..

Boni: Very very.

——————

Hoshizawa: I’m not signing that..

Boni: Tano, why are you joking with me? It was your boyfriend’s idea.

Hoshizawa: You mean (JD)?

Boni: He made a signature sheet and everything.

Hoshizawa: I don’t know what he’s up to but if you know what’s good for you, throw that away.

Boni: Not a chance. I’ll just fake your signature like I did with (Martha). She’s in no shape to sign anything today..!

Hoshizawa: Why not?

Boni: Heard it on the radio! She took a belly flop off the Old Mill Bridge last night holding a suicide note.

*insert Ghost Ikuto just slowly appearing next to Hoshizawa*

——————

Ghost Ikuto: He’s got your handwriting down cold~!

——————

*Hoshiz and his mother screaming because of each other*

Hoshizawa: NO! NO! NOOOOOOO-

——————

Now have a whole Heathers in a nutshell video but with these little shits:

Hoshiz: My name’s Tano, and I’m soooo totally edgy and relatable.

(Kurt, Ram and Martha time)

Momo: I’m bad guy 1 who turns out to be really nice!

Boni: I’m bad guy 2 who turns out to be a total bitch you’re gonna hope dies in the end.

Boni: ..Until I get kissed by the main character.

Ikuto: And I’m the almighty who’s supposed to be a real bitch but you’re gonna end up loving me.

Ikuto: cos I’m memeable..

(JD time)

Hoshiz: Hey lemme be your friend!

Ikuto: Yah sure

Momo: waitwhat

Boni: *vomit noises*

Ikuto: Grow up, Boni. Bulimia’s so ‘87.

Hoshiz: This is a fun group.

——————

Ikuto: Hey go give Ram this note that’s totally gonna embarrass your best friend.

Hoshiz: What? No!

Ikuto: period joke.

Hoshiz: I said no.

Ikuto: Bitch. Fite me.

——————

Ikuto, Boni and Momo: This is the best song in the musicaaaaal, even tho it was ruined by riverdaleeeeee! (Does that even exist in-universe?- y’know what nevermind)

——————

Hoshiz: I don’t wanna be part of your clique anymore.

Ikuto: Bitch. Fite me.

Hoshiz: *vomits on Ikuto*

Ikuto: *pterodactyl shrieking 2.0*

——————

Hoshiz: Ikuto I’m sorry-

Ikuto: Make me a drink n I’ll think about it.

——————

JD: ok let’s give him drain cleaner :)

Hoshiz: ok don’t be a bitch that stuff’d kill him.

JD: thus ending his hangoveeeer..

——————

Ikuto: You’re still dead to me. *takes a sip of his drink, and immediately flops over dead*

Hoshiz: oh no.

——————

Momo: i had no idea he was this depressed!

Momo and Boni at Ikuto’s grave: We love you Ikuto!

Hoshiz: Yeah. Love. Sad.

——————

Martha: Tano, I think your boyfriend murdered the 3-

Ghost Ikuto: WELL, FUCK ME GENTLY WITH A CHAINSAW!

——————

I’m done but the hyperfixation is only getting worse so. Yeah.

[kiyomi-mizumi-1y]

Have some Heathers AU memes while I work on a new drawing :)

Ft. Ikuto (@rescue-hero-cardiac), Hoshizawa (@tano-hoshiz-1y), and Momo (@lintulady) + a small appearance with Miss Me (@dantelionwishes)

(During “Beautiful”)

Momo: Maybe you should go see a doctor, Boni..

Boni: Yeah Momo, maybe I should..

Miss Me: Ah, Ikuto and Momo-

Boni: *vomiting*

Miss Me: aaand Boni.

——————

Dead Ikuto: WELL, FUCK ME GENTLY WITH A CHAINSAW!

——————

(During “Candy Store”)

Boni: WHOOOOA! HONEY WHATCHA WAITIN FO-

Ikuto, practically yeeting her: SHUT UP BONI!

——————

(During “Big Fun”)

Boni: We should-

Ikuto: Shut up, Boni!

Boni: Sorry, Ikuto.

Momo: Look who’s with her, oh my God!

Ikuto, Boni and Momo: Dang, dang, diggity-dang-a-dang!

——————

Hoshiz: *laughing after a joke he made*

Hoshiz:

Hoshiz, looking at Ikuto’s dead body: OH MY GOD-

——————

Momo: And every morning on the bus I feel my heart beating faster and I’m like ‘Jesus I’m on the freaking bus again cause all my rides to school are dead’-

——————

Hoshiz: OH MY GOD I JUST KILLED MY BEST FRIEND.

(JD): And your worst enemy-

Hoshiz: SAME DIFFERENCE!

——————

Hoshiz: Boni, Momo, open the door.

Momo and Boni: Oh no, oh no no no!

Hoshiz:

Hoshiz: OPEN THE DOOR-

——————

Dead Ikuto: Hoshizawa. HOSHIZAWA!

Hoshiz: SHUT UP!

Boni: YOU SHUT UP!

Boni, now holding Ikuto’s earring: I DON’T HAVE TO SHUT UP ANYMORE!

——————

Boni: What about prescriptions-

Ikuto: Shut up Boni!

Boni: Sorry, Ikuto.

——————

Ikuto, as Boni’s throwing up in the bathroom: Grow up, Boni. Bulimia’s so ‘87.

——————

Ikuto: this is an excellent forgery.. who are you?

Hoshiz: uh- Tano Hoshizawa. I crave a boon-

Ikuto: What boon?

Hoshiz: Um. Let me sit at your table, at lunch. Just once. No talking necessary. If people think that you guys tolerate me, then they'll leave me alone...

*Ikuto, Boni and Momo laugh*

——————

*insert a compilation of Ikuto telling Boni to shut up because boy oh boy does Heather Chandler tell Heather Duke to shut up*

——————

Hoshiz: *throws up on Ikuto*

Ikuto: *shrieking at Hoshizawa* I RAISED YOU FROM NOTHING! AND I GET PAID IN PUKE!?

Hoshiz: OH LICK IT UP BABY, LICK! IT! UP!

[kiyomi-mizumi-1y]

Let’s kick off this cursed knha Sunday with a Heathers reference >:D