#klynt gothawyn

[eorziapple]

FFXIV Write 2024 Prompt 2: Horizon

Characters: Apple Silverberg, Klynt Gothawyn

Apple Silverberg could not recall a time in which she had felt so... content, relaxed, happy? Very odd that it had come from such a fraught time for her, emotionally. She had been avoiding things, isolating -again-, trying to avoid being a problem. That was always her natural instinct, perhaps a byproduct of being an intelligent and well behaved daughter growing up, disappointment was unacceptable. In matters of her heart, she felt so ill equipped, unable to predict others, let alone herself, it left her feeling at odds with herself. It wasn't a problem with a solution, it was messy, and she really wasn't sure what was to come next. There was a little about that truth that was exciting, yes. But it was also terrifying. In truth, she had needed Klynt to track her down, to make her actually talk. There had been unknowns that she knew now, and there was a way things were and she knew where she fit in that. And that was ok, more than ok, in truth. After all, it wasn't Klynt's experience, or Reinhart, or any of the others that Apple had been afraid of. Apple had felt like she had been heading into a squall and without a rudder. She hadn't known where she fit in, what this all was, how she felt, how Klynt felt, and she was worried about how accustomed she was getting to her. How she found herself wishing to be around her or to go another round or to find excuses to chat with her. It had turned out to be simpler than she realized, unsurprisingly, she overthought things terribly often, after all. She liked Klynt. Not in the way of bawdy songs or dramatic novels, either. It was a friendship, moment of connection found in time spent together over the last few months. Shared experiences growing up in the same city, eating the same foods, learning the currents of the ocean and how to survive on them. Genuine interest in speaking to each other, hearing the others' thoughts. Teaching each other, that was a most unexpected trade between the two, whether it was magics, combat, recipes, sex. Sharing these things helped make her feel confident and... excited to figure out she could do things she never tried. It really would have been a tragedy, she mused, looking out at the sun setting over the ocean, enjoying the cool breeze. She smiled as Klynt joined her, setting plates of sliced fruit, freshly ordered to their room, on the long lounging chair, and laying to the side just to be closer to her. It was good to have someone come for her, to keep her from making a mistake. It was good that her feelings were shared, to have that confirmation of a fondness and a worth. It was good to spend an evening lazily beside a friend. Apple took a bite, savoring the vibrant sweetness of a fruit she'd never had before. A nice tang with a sour bite. She sighed happily, looking down to see Klynt looking up at her, with a big grin. This? This was good.

[scrollsfromarebornrealm]

"Squire Gohtawyn! Working hard? Or perhaps, hardly working?" "...Bishop, I swear on every hell, the second I graduate..." "I thought you'd be distracted by Reinhardt then?" "I can multi-task."

----

(credit to @saesama for the captions!)

[ladyofvoss]

A Perfectly Reasonable, Plausible Conclusion

Special thank you to @scrollsfromarebornrealm, whose Augustine and Sebastian belong to! As well as @saesama, who Klynt belongs too!

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Thalia's activity for the afternoon consisted of furiously pacing back and forth in her Free Company room. She was far too preoccupied with a certain issue rattling around in her brain.

Sebastian Astralyas was out of his damn mind.

Grilling her over Augustine like this was some sort of interrogation. And who was he to look so smug? As if any mention of this 'Brucie' of his didn't have him looking at either her or Klynt with murderous intent.

If he was allowed to keep his affairs close to vest, so was she.

And what was that about? Trying to find some correlation between their sparring session and Augustine finding himself at a brothel?

For all she knew, that could have been his plan for that day anyway, and he was simply sidetracked by their sparring match.

'Which to some Ishgardians can be considered foreplay.'

Thalia pinched her nose with a frustrated sigh as Sebastian's words pinged around in her head again. Maybe she should send a letter to Guydelot and Sanson, telling them that Sebastian would love to learn about the bardic arts under their tutelage after all. Just to spite him.

'At least I didn't make him break church vows', came more of his words to memory.

Thalia huffed.

Fine. So she liked Augustine. So she found him considerably attractive. It was hardly news. If what Klynt said was anything to go by, she wasn't the first. She wouldn't be the last. And there was no indication that the sentiment was shared, despite Sebastian's insistence to the contrary. And even if there was, so what? What would that even mean exactly?

It'd mean you'd have to do something about it, said a sing-song voice in her head that sounded suspiciously close to Klynt's.

Twelve damn them both. Assholes.

The idea that Augustine broke some sort of vow of celibacy simply because she had gotten him worked up from a single fight was ridiculous. Ludicrous. Absolutely unheard of.

Besides.....

The fact that she had even developed a crush on him based on his Bloodsands persona felt.....wrong. Especially now, having actually had the chance to know the man behind the shield.

How was she any better than the numerous onlookers who sought out the Bloodsands for entertainment? He had sought them out as a means to escape from his horrid family and life back in Ishgard.

Not to mention, spat a nastier voice in her mind that wasn't Klynt's, how would it look? He'd gotten away from nobility in Ishgard, and you'd burden him with your silly little crush? You, a daughter of nobles?

Running her hands over her face, Thalia turned on her heel and marched to her desk, pulling out a sheet of paper, an inkwell, and her quill.

This whole matter was going to be settled one way or another. She would meet with him again. They would get on like they usually did, and the whole thing would be put to rest.

And if it wasn't, well.....she'd cross that bridge when she'd get there.

Pen in hand, she scratched out a quick note, trying to keep her words as casual as possible.

.

.

.

Augustine,

I'm sorry to hear about your injury during your time in Coerthas. If you're up for it, we could have another friendly sparring session to work out any stiff muscles you gained from bedrest.

If you're stuck in the infirmary, I'm willing to wager you've gone a bit stir crazy. And if not, well, you owe me a rematch anyway.

When you're fully recovered of course. I'm in no hurry to get on your brother's bad side.

Regards, Thalia

[yzeltia]

Year of the Drake: WOLFMAN FOREVER

May: Dark Knights of Steel Characters: U'rahn Nuhn, @driftward 's Nyx Blackmoon and Zoissette Vauban, @mintibunny 's Minti Chocolate, Y'shtola Rhul, @erickgage 's Erick Gage, @autumnslance 's Dark Autumn, @ladyofvoss 's Ibara Voss, Y'zel Tia, @saesama 's Klynt Gothawyn, and @xiuhteena 's Mayo'tta Rating: T for Tia Notes: So, since YOTP is from Batman stuff my mind went Dark Knight = Batman and Steel = Garlemald

Moving day had come for Gage Acquisitions. It had been a rather difficult move for U'rahn, finding himself a bit farther from his family than he would have liked; however, it provided the opportunity for him to suggest cohabitation to Nyx.

In his usual U'rahn way he'd fumbled with the question rather than being direct, resulting in Dark assigning him to inventory duty along with Y'zel. Lesson learned, his next attempt was far more direct, and therefore, successful.

This of course meant enrichment for their resident interior designer to accommodate the new living situation leaving U'rahn to bum it around headquarters. Having been given a box of Garlean comics by Jullus, he sequestered himself upstairs in the reading nook and curled up and was enraptured in the pages of a particularly worn set. By the time Nyx had located him, he had gone through them all.

"Rahn, Gage has requested you not use this space to rest while our new quarters are being prepared. He finds your natural odor unpleasant and worries about the new furniture smelling like you."

U'rahn's ears perked a bit before he turned his head to sniff at himself, tail standing on end for a moment before looking up to Nyx as she looked at the scattered comics.

"What is a 'Wolfman'," she asked, looking back up to him. 

"Only the greatest Garlean hero ever," U'rahn said with a beam, getting on his knees to clean up.

"Do you mean the Black Wolf?"

"Huh? No, not the old man. Wolfman is uh…well…," he started, crossing his arms before thinking a moment then beaming wide, "Like I said, the greatest herrro of Garlemald! By day he's gillionare B'rhance nan Wane, and by night the Defender of Justice, Wolfman!"

"Understood. I do not recall such a person. I am to understand this is a storytale then?"

"Yeah yeah!"

"Then you may tell me about Wolfman while you clean up."

"Can't I just tell you now?"

"I have been instructed to use our new power washer on you if you decline to clean up in a timely manner."

"Right! To the showers then!"

With that, he carefully set the box of comics aside then led Nyx to the baths, tail flicking about. "Right…so, a Wolfman story…To start, you gotta know his backstory. See, when Wolfman was a boy his parents were well respected in the Garlean court, even favored by the Emporer himself! They focused a lot on philanthropy with their money, helping territories that had been taken over by Garlemald get medical supplies and necessities. There's a lot of different versions, but the most popular one is that he watched his parents get mugged in an alley after an opera. Some said it was a hit put out by the Garlean aristocracy that used mobsters that didn't like the Wane family. Traumatized by the incident, he grew up wanting to protect the people from mobsters and those who would use their power to make life hard for all citizens of Garlemald, especially those who had found themselves relocated due to Garlemald's colonialism of their homes. Criminals grew to fear the symbol of the Wolfman. He was the symbol of night. He was the symbol of justice. He was the Dark Knight! But y'know, not like the combaty kind."

"Acknowledged."

U'rahn nodded as he discarded his clothing. "In his time getting hero cred, Wolfman eventually finds a sidekick! A Miqo'te that lost all her family in a tragic acrobatic stunt, sabotaged by a member of a mob to send a message, Dyx Greymoon. AKA Starling. And together they patrolled the streets of the capital, fighting crime and saving lives.”

“Violence befitting most Garlemald picture books,” Nyx answered, watching U’rahn carefully as he paraded around the baths before his tail shot up.

"They're not picture books! They're graphic novels," he corrected before sitting down on a stool to fill a bucket with water, "Anyroad, my favourite story so far went a little like this."

[Alert. Alert. Robbery in progress. Alert. Alert. Robbery in progress.]

These words echoed through The Wolf Den as the two caped crusaders rapidly suited up into their crime fighting costumes. Looking to one another, they gave a nod of approval before Wolfman stepped forward. "Wolf Computer. Brief us on the situation."

[Right away Wolfman. Pulling up live footage from the museum where the robbery is taking progress. It seems a masked villain known as Ser Freeze is stealing ancient ice crystals from the Garlemald World Heritage Museum.]

"Great Solus's Ghost, Starling! The villain must be trying to summon on Eikon right here in our fair Garlemald! We cannot let that happen," Wolfman exclaimed, hurrying to the Wolfhanger 

"Affirmative, Wolfman," his sidekick answered, following.

"To the Wolfwagon!"

The two hurried over to the large black car, both jumping into the front seat before Wolfman flipped the switch and jetted them off toward the city.

“Rahn. I understand you do not like to be interrupted; however, for my understanding of the story, I wish to know what you mean by ‘flipped the switch’.”

U’rahn blinked as he climbed over to get into a tub. “Y’know….the on switch to the car? To make them go.”

“Garlemald models would use a key that would be used to close the ignition circuit. This delivers power to the starter motor so that the engine can create sparks and mobilize the entire vehicle through small combustions.”

"Oh. Huh…Well. He did that then. Ah. Um. Would you wash my ears?" U'rahn asked, leaning his head back on the tub.

"Yes."

U'rahn let out a little purr as he felt the tips of his ears be firmly seized by his girlfriend. "Rrright…so they got to the scene of the crime…"

"Halt there villain! Those crystals belong to the good citizens of Garlemald," Wolfman called out as he and Starling descended down from the ceiling.

The Elezen scientist turned, her frosty stare narrowing through her goggles as she held up her frost blaster. "They were taken from Eorzea! Garlemald has no use for them other than a glorious trophy from our Emperor's invasion. I shall use them for a greater purpose…and I think you mean Freeze!"

The woman aimed her gun at the two. Taking evasive action, the two began to box step as the ray hit them, working out to keep their body warm so as to not succumb to the blast .

"Nice footwork Starling!"

"Acknowledged Wolfman."

"Curse you both," Ser Freeze huffed, charging another blast.

"Not so fast! Wolferang," the masked vigilante called out, tossing a wolf shaped shuriken at the villain's hand while Starling ran up and retrieved the gun. 

Wolfman soon rushed Ser Freeze, grappling and punching at one another until the wolf swept his tail under her feet and knocked her back.

"You fool!? How will I save my beloved research partner now? I was on the verge of a cure for Voidsickness!"

"Golly. Gee. Wolfman, that is the deadliest illness in the world. Do you think she is being accurate and peer reviewed?"

"There's one way to find out! Ser Freeze! By the mercy of our Emperor, I will take you to their research facility where you can research under the careful watch of His Majesty's top chirurgeons."

"You'd make an exception for mercy," the scientist asked in disbelief.

"Yes. Sometimes justice is best…soft served."

U'rahn let out a little purr as he let his feet float up onto the water's surface, enjoying the ear rubs.

"Wolfman contains a lot of propaganda," Nyx commented.

"Just a little. Therrre's a good message there. Wolfman listened and didn't just send the bad guy to jail! He found her a place that would help her!"

"Ser Freeze would be under strict watch and once her project was completed, and be forced to do more research or banished to a more remote location to be imprisoned for life."

"Rrreally? Aw…Well…what about this one?"

The streets filled with people screaming as Wolfman and Starling arrived at the Garlemald Menagerie. Animals scattered about with them, most small herbivores, fleeing as vines and overgrowth started to climb up and over the walls.

"Solus's All Seeing Eye, Starling! What on Etheirys is happening here!?"

"The Wolfcomputer stated that a Viera known as Poison Minti has taken over the Menagerie using her power over plants. Please refrain from getting too close. Her kisses are poison."

"Not to worry Starling. My heart belongs only to Lady Garlemald and her people…and a certain sidekick."

"Your patriotism is noted. As is your clumsy flirtation. You should engage the enemy. I will subdue any dangerous animals non-lethally."

Wolfman nodded then hurried inside with Starling at his side. Animals scattered everywhere, running free and confused. The acrobat soon flipped away, using bolas to ensnare the larger beasts while Wolfman hurried into the gardens, avoiding snapping vines. Inside, he found the deadly beauty crossing over a bridge, turning to him as he approached.

"Seems I'm a little late. You wouldn't be-leaf the traffic getting here," Wolfman chuckled.

The woman raised her brow then flicked her wrists. Two great trees soon slammed down toward Wolfman as the hero nimbly jumping up and over then to join her on the bridge.

"Apologies puppy, but I don't have time for you…though, perhaps a kiss," Poison Minti hummed before smooching her hand and blowing it toward him.

Wolfman blinked then flushed, finding a sweetness wash over him. He chuckled then fumbled forward, face hot as he stared at the woman's lips, letting her cup his cheek as he drew in close.

"Golly. Gee. Wolfman. I warned you about her kiss," Starling's voice called out, "A cold bath is recommended."

Swooping down on a vine, the sidekick booted Wolfman out of the way and into the water before taking a fighting pose. Poison Minti shook her head then moved in defense.

"Couldn't stand to see his love blossom for someone else," the Viera asked.

"I do not experience jealousy; however, I know he would not enjoy your embrace. No mint is permitted to grow in this garden. I shall enjoy experiencing this."

With that, the two began to strike one another while Wolfman surfaced and shook out the water in his ears. By the time he got back on the bridge, Starling had subdued Poison Minti and had her over her shoulder.

"Good work Starling! Now, what should we do with our unlucky rabbit here?"

"Put me down! I must liberate the animals," Poison screamed.

"If we did that, then they'd die in the cold landscape of Garlemald. Here they can have a nice life in an enclosed space and be loved by all the citizens of Garlemald!"

"That is not enough! This is not their natural home!"

Wolfman thought for a moment then snapped his fingers. "Yet you could make it so, correct? Your powers of planting could make this place a real paradise!"

"...They could."

"Then it is settled! Instead of going to jail, you can stay here and create perfect biomes! Not only would the animals be happier, but you will enrich the education of our great citizens! What do you say?"

"I suppose that will be amenable. But my work is not done. There are still-"

"We did it again Starling! We've saved Garlemald and have made it a better place for all!"

"Rahn. This continues to be propaganda," Nyx said plainly.

U'rahn sighed, cheeks red as Nyx continued to lather his ears, resisting the urge to give them a twitch.

"He saved the day though. He's a grrreat herrro!"

"Starling saved the day. Wolfman was shown to be incompetent by not listening to Starling's warnings. I believe she should be in charge."

"Ah. Maybe I'm just not telling a good story arc…I guess there's…"

Terror had struck the heart of Garlemald once more. The Wolfman symbol high in the sky. The daring duo soon found themselves at the source of the commotion, The First Credit Union of Garlemald. Running up the steps, Wolfman and Starling soon found themselves jumping away from one another as a safe came flying out at them.

Laughter that sounded much like quacking echoed through the street as Apkallu and Paine emerged from the doors of the bank. The golden haired villain smirked as he held his beanbag gun umbrella against his shoulder.

"You're too late Wolfman and Starling! Me and my new partner have already seized control of all the banks in the area! Now everyone will be forced to leave their money under my care so I can invest as I please!"

"Solus's Bountiful Beard, Starling! The Apkallu is going to make unwise investments and drain the good citizens of Garlemald's hard earned money from their accounts! We cannot let this happen!"

"A robbery is in progress, Wolfman. The protection of the citizens and members of the union are a priority."

"Well said Starling! Wolferang! Go!"

With that, the hero pulled out his carved shuriken and chucked it at The Apkallu, knocking the umbrella from his hand while Starling did a bunch of flips up the stairs ending in a flying kick into Paine. A great battle ensued, the heroic duo clashing with the greedy Gil stealer and the masked beauty. 

"Wolfman," Starling said plainly, but loudly as she was lifted up over Paine's head before quickly being brought down toward Paine's lifted knee.

"Starling! No! Wolfmallow! Go!"

In a heroic dive, the masked crusader tossed a white wolf shaped treat at Paine's knee. On impact, it expanded into a large fluffy marshmallow, cushioning Starling's blow. The weight of the gelatin caused Paine to topple over onto Apkallu, trapping them both as the foamy treat enveloped them.

"Thank you Wolfman," Starling stated, brushing off the mess on her back.

"All in a day's work my dear! Now then! What to do with these two?"

"Apkallu's greed seems to have gotten the better of him. Our reports state that Arick Cobblestone, self-proclaimed Deadliest Gentleman of Crime. Faced with losing his family's wealth after bad foreign investments, he sought out crime to fill his coffers. Paine, a dear friend of the family, followed him on his spree out of loyalty."

"I see! Then perhaps instead of jail, a financial literacy class at one of Garlemald's prestigious night schools might help him handle his finances better in the future and prevent future defaults. Remember this well when investing, Apkallu: Garlemald Grown and Grinded is Great!"

"...Is this guy for real," the villain asked to Paine, getting a shrug.

"As for Paine. Loyalty to one's comrades is truly respectable. I'm nothing without my partner. Right, Starling," Wolfman asked.

"Affirmative."

"There will be no punishment aside from helping rebuild the Credit Union you've damaged, restoring it to the great feat of Garlemald beauty it was before."

"Rahn. These storytales are very blatantly propaganda with product placement. The villains are also increasingly becoming more aware of Wolfman's incompetence as a hero. His placating methods will result in their inevitable return to crime."

"Well, if they didn't come back now and then there wouldn't be any reason for him to help fight crime."

"There would be reduced crime if he eliminated his targets."

"His hero code prevents him from killing! No exceptions!"

"His code is inadequate for his intentions."

U'rahn puffed his cheeks out a bit as Nyx let go of his ears. "Are we having our first argument?"

"I am stating objective facts, Rahn."

The warrior dipped under water then moved to sit across from the other. "There's other sides of Wolfman too aside from the goofy crusader! He's got some suaveness. Like the time he…"

Wane Manor glowed and with opulence as people inside danced and made merry for the annual Emperor's Day celebration. B'rhance had given his speech and managed to find a spot on the Ballroom floor where he could be seen if needed but left alone by passerbyers. Dyx was otherwise occupied, chatting with Ibarba ban Gordon, the third member of their Terrific Trrio. AKA: Wolfgirl.

Something was afoot though. While everyone danced and glided about around him, one masked pink-haired Miqo'te seemed to not as gay as he should be. The suspect seemed to flit about from partner to partner, and Wolfman's careful gaze noticed the once glittering arms with watches and bracelets become bare after each exchange. The little thief sauntering off the floor, B'rhance made his move following the Miqo'te up and into his library, find the other flipping through books.

"If you're looking for free knowledge, the Garlean Public library will be more than happy to issue you a library card. My tomes; however, will not find themselves leaving the grounds," B'rhance hummed, leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed.

The masked Miqo'te let out a little click of his tongue before shutting the book and returning it to the shelf. "Don't you have hosting duties to tend to Mr. Wane?"

"What kind of host would I be if one of my guests sought to read rather than join the crowd? Not to mention without their belongings that I'm sure they intended to leave with."

The pink haired Miqo'te hummed, moving in close to stroke the other's tie in his palm. "Oh I'm sure many of them won't notice, blinded by their wealth and all. I doubt even you would have noticed that little ol' manuscript misplaced should I have had the chance to abscond with it."

"I don't recall having added a thief to my guest list."

"Though you hired wait staff. You really should check rrreferences," the other Miqo'te purred.

"Going forward I'll put in the effort…Er…"

The Miqo'te smirked, lifting his mask to show off his round Keeper eyes.

"Zelen'a Kyhle," he hummed.

"Bold to give me your name. How do you know I won't just track you down? There's also Wolfman."

Zelen'a tilted his head back and forth a moment, humming, "I'll worry about the Masked Mutt when he crosses my path. As for you, Rhance, you'll just have to come find me."

With that Zelen'a lifted up, kissing B'rhance softly before kicking back his foot to send an antique lamp into the air. The thief did a backflip as Wolfman's gaze followed the lamp, hand outstretched to catch it.

"Nice moves, playboy. Thanks for the parting gift," the Keeper laughed, taking back the book before falling backward out a window.

B'rhance rushed after, looking out as the thief drove away on a motorcycle. "Great Solus's Gemstones," the hero whispered before shaking out his head. "Such a villain! I am devoted to my Dyx! I-"

"Rahn. I do not require embellishment to prove your fidelity. You are a Miqo'te and it is a storytale about a gentry class hero."

"Well, yeah…but he loves Dyx the most…just sayin'," U'rahn mumbled, folding his ears with a sheepish smile.

"Acknowledged. However, that story did nothing to add to your argument of Wolfman being an efficient hero. He let the thief go free."

"Okay, okay. The best for last then. His nemesis…the ultimate bad guy and his own best gal. The Chuckler and Hardy Flint!"

Cackling…malicious cackling…or rather…sinister chucking chuckling. It echoed through the Capital as bomb after bomb began to erupt. Atop the capitol building's steps, the Mummer Heir of Crime, the Chuckler descended down, arms wide while Hardly Flint followed behind.

"C'mon mutt! I've got your darling Emperor and the city in my grasp! The hour of your reckoning is at hahaha-hand!"

"Yeah! C'mon mutt," Hardly echoed, pulling on a chain and pulling out Lord Varis in cuffs, having allowed himself to be taken in a noble gesture to protect his citizens.

The Wolfjet flew low to the ground, letting Wolfman, Starling, and Wolfgirl drop down before the steps.

"Great Solus's Grandson! Literally! Unhand our glorious Emperor right now you fiend," Wolfman cried out, "Wolfgirl, to the citizens! Starling, with me!"

"I'm on it," Wolfgirl called out, springing into action, dashing off to put out fires with her Wolfray.

Howls echoed through the streets as the sound waves blew out the flames, letting citizens pour out of their buildings and run off toward safety.

"Acknowledged," Starling answered in turn, springing into action to engage Hardly in combat, freeing the Emperor from her grasp for now.

The two exchanged blows around the building, Hardly swinging her hammer wildly while Starling nimbly dodged and ducked.

"You can't dodge me forever! I'm gonna clip your wings little bird and give them to my darlin' Chuckleflan as a gift!'

"I do not have wings; however, I do have on steel boots," Starling responded cooly.

"Huh?"

As Hardly paused, Starling kicked high, catching the Roe's jaw and sending her onto her back in a daze.

Meanwhile, Wolfman and The Chuckler exchanged blows before the chained Emperor. The fiendish Miqo'te laughed with every blow, even as blood dripped off his chin.

"How dare you chain our Emperor and harm out glorious city! I've just about had enough of your insanity!"

"The party is only beginning, you hahahalfwit! Your eyes are on the wrong prize," the villain cried out before lifting a rifle to his right and firing it into Starling.

The sidekick dropped down and then fell down steps just in time for Wolfgirl to swoop in and pick her up. B'rahnce let out a wail then lost control, punching and kicking the Chuckler backward until the laughing mad man fell back, letting the gun fall from his grasp. Wolfman quickly picked it up while the villain rose back up to his feet, hands in the air.

"Hey now! You don't use guns! You gotta stick to your code," the Chuckler breathed out.

"I never said I don't use guns. I just don't use them on people," Wolfman growled before firing a round.

The sound of metal breaking echoed through the empty streets. The Chuckler opened an eye then looked around before bellowing with laughter. "Hahahaha. You missed-"

The Miqo'te was cut off he was suddenly scuffed from behind. Towering over him Varis stood, freed from his shackles. The Great Emperor tossed the Chuckler like a rag-doll down the steps and into the street, metal heroically clanging as he followed.

"I'll take it from here Wolfman. You tend to Starling," the gracious leader said before turning forward to pummel the evil Miqo'te.

Wolfman jumped down to Wolfgirl and Starling, pulling her into his arms. "Starling! Say something!"

"You are inflicting further injury to my shoulder by holding me so tight."

"Sorry. I thought…I thought I lost you. I don't know what I would have done."

"My wound will heal," Starling answered before looking to Wolfgirl then back to Wolfman to lean up and give him a kiss on the nose, "My hero."

Wolfman blushed under his mask then nodded before lifting her up carefully, letting Wolfgirl summon the Wolfcopter. Lord Varus of course brought the Chuckler to justice, locking him in the deepest of dungeons.

"Your story continues to be propaganda and given the many vehicles, a means to sell toys."

U'rahn flattened his ears, story seeming to fall flat. Nyx moved into the water with the vexed Miqo'te, sitting on his thighs.

"I may not always enjoy the content of your storytales; however, I do enjoy you telling them."

U'rahn flushed a bit then chucked a bit, reclining a little to scoot Nyx forward on his lap, hand trailing up her back. "I would preferrr to tell stories you enjoy. I'll keep trying."

"Acknowledged. I look forward to your next attempt."

[yzeltia]

Year of the Drake: Sno-Wytt Lies

June: Soulmates AU Characters: U'rahn Nuhn, @driftward 's Nyx Blackmoon, @saesama 's Klynt Gothawyn Rating: T for Nuhn Notes: Thank you to the very busy Driftward for peaking in on the draft and adjusting Nyx dialogue and poking at my grammar as always

U’rahn munched away at an apple as he sat in Mathye's medical office, flipping lazily through some papers as he waited for his and Nyx’s turn to watch over Zoissette. He’d been scolded by Mathye too many times for being too loud, or bringing in too many flowers and stuffed animals, so he relegated himself to running things through Nyx before acting on them during their visits. On this go around, he had decided to read the paper he helped Y’zel with.

           “Hey Nyx…reading this…do you think that we might have known one another in the past.”

           “No.”

           “Not even a little? I mean, I guess my Ancient self was uh…with Themis, but I bet if he’d have met your Ancient then he’d have been all about her!”

           “I am not a reflection Rahn. I am a creation. I am given to understand it has not been peer reviewed, and it is Vauban’s opinion that it cannot be tested or retested. It’s a proposed hypothesis based on limited observations. It should not be taken as fact and should not have been published as is. The information laid out dangerously espouses similar rhetoric of that of the Ascians.”

           “Right…Right…I’m just saying…maybe something like…Other reflections of us…Like maybe on the First. A handsome Mystel perhaps that was the strongest all in the land…”

           “Upon an era long ago lived a Mystel by the name of Sno-Wyyte. He was beloved by all of the realm…save for one, his stepbrother, Sno-Khub. Sno-Khub resented Sno-Wyyte for his strength and charm. Everywhere his handsome step-brother went, ladies and gentlemen alike would gravitate toward him and ignore Sno-Khub. Knowing well of his brother’s fondness for apples, he laid a trap, a magicked one that would put him into a deep slumber. Sno-Wyyte being trusting and good, saw no reason to fear his brother, and ate the strange apple left for him and so fell into a sleep.

           The kingdom mourned and took him to the Pixies in hopes they could undo the curse. Even the great Titania could not undo the curse, and saddened by the loss of life, offered to preserve him until his one true love came along. And so eons passed, and he remained in slumber until one day the prettiest princess in all the land stumbled upon a journal detailing how beloved and handsome he was. And so she set upon a journey, crossing over hill and dale until arriving at the Pixie court where he rested. Taken by his handsome looks, she could not resist but steal a kiss. Their souls resonating, true love’s kiss brought him to his senses and after a sensible amount of time courting, they married and lived happily ever after traveling the world and being heroes together.

           “No, Rahn. I am the only me that has ever been or ever will be.”

           “Oh…Okay,” U’rahn answered, ears folding and returning to the paper.

           After their visit, Nyx noted a shift in U’rahn’s behavior and lack of regular presence. His expressions dulled, though there did not appear to be a change in his interest in her. More notably, he didn’t seem interested in telling her his Storytales. Worried about his condition, Nyx consulted Klynt.

           “U’rahn’s actin’ funny? Have you tried spicin’ the swiving up?”

           “No. Rahn has not expressed interest in a physical relationship beyond normal responses of a man his age due to close contact."

           “The guy that insists he’s a Nuhn? You don’t think he’s usin’ you as a beard do ya?”

           “I have yet to place myself on his face in such capacity.”

           Klynt shook her head as she laughed, “Never mind that. You wanna know what’s made the little dark cloud over his head? When’s the last time he was actin’ normal?”

           “During our rounds taking care of Vaubaun. He insisted on Y’Zel’s publication as a means to define our connection. I informed him he was incorrect.”

"Y'zel's publication…That doe-eyed stuff about Ancients and reflections?"

"Correct."

"Ah. You just hurt his sense of romanticism. Must be somethin' about those Miqo boys that just make them swiven’ mewling fools. I would just let him sulk a bit, but if you want him to perk back up then throw him a bone."

Nyx stared at Klynt for a moment until the Roegadyn sighed and rolled her eyes.

 "I mean indulge his fantasy. You've been around awhile. I'm sure you can squeeze him into a story of your own."

"It would be incorrect information."

 "You're just telling him a storytale to make him feel better."

 "Understood. I will consider your advice."

With that, Nyx wandered off to think on what might correct U'rahn's behavior. Finding him in their room, she waited patiently for him to finish doing reps with his dumbbells and notice her.

 "Oh. Hey Nyx," he greeted, Nyx noting the lack of usual repetition.

"Rahn. I have given your musings some thought. I will tell you my own storytale."

The Nuhn perked up a bit, tail swishing as he looked on to his girlfriend as she moved to stand before him and started.

"Date: Late Allegan Period

Location: Eureka Orthos

0700: Orange Researcher arrives in the lab. He says good morning to me as he does every morning.

0800: Orange Researcher eats a doughnut and drinks coffee. He tells me about a dream of him being eaten by a sand worm. He inquires if I had any dreams though I am unable to respond.

0900: Orange Researcher is joined by two other researchers. They do not approach me and I cannot designate a trait to them.

1000: Orange Researcher trips over assistant drone. He stops to ask if it is okay though it does not have the capacity for pain. This kindness is pleasing to me.

1200: Orange Researcher has lunch and sits near me. He tries to explain what his pear tastes like; however, I do not understand what sweet is nor the feeling of sand yet. He promises to take me to a beach someday.

1300: The Red Hat Man comes to see me. He talks to Orange Researcher. They argue about my completion. The Red Hat Man says that the Orange Researcher cannot keep me here forever. They part. The Orange Researcher promises me he'll make sure I'm well cared for.

1400: The Orange Researcher works on his assistant drone to ensure they are functioning properly.

1500: The Orange Researcher is left alone. He removes his coat and shirt and exercises while his team is away. He tells me he worries he'll lose his muscles if he doesn't find time to work out. 

1600: The Orange Researcher trips and breaks a box of records. He hastily tapes the box together and hides them. He asks for me not to tell anyone. He says it is our secret.

1700: The Orange Researcher says he's leaving for dinner. He tells me to not get into any trouble while he is away. I am unable to cause trouble in stasis.

1800: The Orange Researcher returns. He asks me if I gave anyone trouble while he was gone. He shows me a picture of his dinner and says he wishes he could have shared it with me. 

1900: The Orange Researcher is left alone with me. He works quietly at his desk until he dozes off.

2000: The Orange Researcher stirs awake. He quickly begins to write to catch up on his work

2100: The Orange Researcher tells me good night and hopes I have pleasant dreams and departs.

2200: It is quiet and I am alone. I miss the Orange Researcher's presence. I am comforted that I know he will return in the morning."

U'rahn stared at Nyx for a moment, ensuring he she was done before looking up and closing his eyes to digest the story. Soon his ears and tail flitted up.

"Hey Hey! Do you think maybe that could have been my reflection? Orange hair. Charming looks. Devoted to you!"

"I did not say charming looks. There is a non-zero possibility that you are correct in your assumption."

"I'll take that as a win then! See, destined for another," he cheered, bouncing up.

Nyx looked up, finding U'rahn returning to his normal behavior. Satisfied, she watched as he bounced around and began to jabber on, seemingly making up for his altered behavior over the past few weeks. She made sure to commit his excited face to memory.

[yzeltia]

Year of the Drake: Legally Nuhn

April: College AU Characters: U'rahn Nuhn, @driftward 's Nyx Blackmoon and Zoissette Vauban, Thancred Waters, Alphinuad Levilluer, Alisae Levilluer, Estinien Varlineau, Leonnioux Ouraux, Y'zel Tia, Y'shtola Rhule, @saesama 's Klynt Gothawyn, @erickgage 's Erick Gage, Y'mhitra Rhul, U'thyka Tia, U'khuba Tia, M'zhet Tia, @goldencrusader 's Ioh'juhn Reighn Notes: Script pulled from Legally Blonde. It's very long.

U'rahn fidgeted a bit as he played with his tie, disinterested in the greater party going on about him. Y’zel and Leon’s wedding would have been completely boring if Nyx hadn’t come along. In truth, he hadn’t thought of inviting her knowing he’d be unable to do more than envision them up at the pulpit instead of the two grooms. It did help that there seemed to be a lot of aerobics involved at an Ishgardian wedding. Anytime he envisioned her in the lovely ice-blue dress, the thought was interrupted by needing to stand, kneel, sit, or call out in Halonic prayer.

Now at the reception and far from hearing bells, boredom had set in. Everyone seemed to be fawning over the couple, which he expected, but aside from offering to serenade the party later, now with Nyx, he felt out of place. Y’zel had been much closer with Jannie and Violet, and paid him little mind. Not that they weren’t friendly; however, it not being an official date or with something for him to keep him occupied, he found himself lonely and put off, even at a table full of people.

“Rahn. You are showing your displeasure,” Nyx mentioned, snapping his attention away from his tie.

“Oh. It’s uh…kinda boring. I mean, the music has been a bit of a downer so far. I think there will be something to dance to a bit later. Keith’s here so I bet his brother will show up and they’ll do some fun stuff.”

Nyx stared a moment. “G-Raha’s husband.”

“Yeah. Their daughter was one of the flower girls.”

“Yes. She distributed flowers rather vigorously and unevenly alongside Khloe.”

“Yeah. Seems like they’re little rivals,” he answered before leaning back in his chair, looking through the large slender windows of the Ouraux estate, “It’s gonna snow all day isn’t it?”

“Air pressure and elemental compass poles suggest the precipitation will persist. Rahn, if you are bored, perhaps telling me another story would be enriching for you.”

U’rahn perked up, smiling as the offer was laid out. “Yeah!? Well…What one though…I guess one that ends in marriage…and an unlikely pair kinda like Y’zel and Leon. Yeah! I got it,’ he explained, snapping his fingers before starting, “It was the perfect day…”

L’whood Nuhn flexed a bit in the mirror, grinning as he admired his physique while his fraternity brothers spread outfits across his bed.

“Try this,” T’hancred Tia laughed, tossing him his usual red sleeveless jacket.

L’whood furrowed his brow, shaking his head then tossing it back at the Tia. “Hey Hey! I can’t wear the same thing I do every day! I’m gonna pop the big question!”

A’lphinaud sighed, shaking his head, “It’s your favourite colour though. Besides, you don’t want to spoil it by being too showy afterall.”

“You’re right…something red then for sure. But let’s go with sleeves. Don’t need the guns out for this,” L’whood purred. 

“That a’boy,” T’hancred laughed, tossing over a nice crisp button down in U’ra- er L’whood’s signature crimson red.

The Nuhn beamed at his Tia brothers, starting to button up the shirt while A’lphinaud pulled out one of his own clip-on ties to accent it.

“She’s here! Guys she’s here,” J’raha shouted, running into the room and going to the window to point, the Tia and Nuhn following.

There she was, a beautiful Seeker with a white bob, sporting a black dress with a high slit. T’hancred whistled while J’raha covered A’lphinaud’s eyes. L’whood beamed as he watched U’shtola saunter up to the fraternity’s front door to ring the bell.

“Well boys. Your star Nuhn brother here is off to woo his lady into happily ever after,” he sang before flicking his tail and heading to the stairs.

“Go get him tiger,” T’hancred called out.

“Be sure to pace yourself. Don’t get too excited and blurt it out…and…and if she says no I’ll be here waiting up,” J’raha called out.

“Don’t jinx him,” A’lphinaud hushed.

“A’LPHINAUD TIA!? AHAHAHAHA!”

Alisae started to lose it across the table, having joined in near the start of the story. Her twin didn't seem all that amused, arms crossed and brow furrowed as he looked on to his sister.

“I doubt this A’lphinuad character has any resemblance to me whatsoever. It is just a name conveniently picked no doubt. There would be no reason for anyone to shield my eyes from gazing upon a beautiful maiden.”

“When the beautiful maiden in question can subdue you with a mere turn of phrase, you’d want more than your eyes covered,” Thancred chuckled, leaning against the table.

“ANYROAD,” U’rahn interjected, regaining control of the story.

Dinner had come and gone quickly, and with desert on the way, L’whood took his chance, taking U’shtola’s hand.

“Here’s to us,” he cooed, raising a glass.

The other seeker pursed her lips, hand withdrawing as she simply sipped at her wine. Returning her attention to her date, she sat back and crossed her legs. 

“Whood, there was a reason I wanted to come out here tonight.”

“Huh? Wait…didn’t I ask you out?”

“No, it was me. Again.”

“Really? Are you sure? I’ve been making a lot of plans lately. This was a pretty important date.”

“Yes, I am sure.”

“Really? I…could have sworn.”

“L’whood! Please, focus. I’ve asked you here to talk about our future.”

“Ah! Right! Funny you should say future,” he hummed, fishing for his ring in a pocket.

The woman narrowed her eyes then took another sip of wine before continuing, “You’ve been, fun, to say the least. Attentive, doting. The perfect gentleman.”

“Yeah Yeah! Your herrro!”

“Right. Hero. The thing is, I’ll be going to Sharlayan Law. I don’t need a hero. I need to be serious.”

“I can be serious!”

She pursed her lips, “My family expects me to become a Forum member someday…”

“Oh! That’s one of those robed guys!”

“Whood, please. If I’m going to do that I’ll need more than a hero. I’ll need-”

“A husband!”

“...Need to break it off here.”

L’whood’s ghost left him. The entire room was silent, his hand outstretched, ring in hand, ears drooped and lifeless.

“Y-You’re breaking up with me…?”

“If I’m going to be on the Forum, I need someone more Louisioux and not M’razh”

“You’re breaking up with me cause I’m …a Nuhn!?”

“That’s not entirely-”

“Then what? My muscles are too big?”

“Your muscles are fine,” the woman sighed, eyes rolling.

“You said you loved me though…I…I wanted to be with you forever…”

“I do love you. I just don’t see myself marrying you under the circumstances. It’s not like I have much choice in all this. Sharlayan Law was always going to be my destiny. You’ll see this was the right thing in time.”

“If we’re not together, then how is it the right thing?”

“It’s just about my future.”

“Because I’m not some hoity toity Sharlayan born…my dad was in the Company of Heroes! They’re still around! I think most people would agree that it's better than the Path of the Twelve!”

“I told you, I need someone…serious.”

“I was seriously in love with you…”

“If I might interrupt? Who is M’razh? I’m guessing a Nuhn from context, but that name doesn’t stick out like grandfathers…And if that Tia is supposed to be me, then why would he not have been A’ouisioux?”

“Ah, well. It’s not you! And M’razh is a Nuhn…though I guess not a very well known one outside Gyr Abania…” U’rahn thought.

“And then aren’t you the son of someone that was in the Company of Heroes,” Thancred asked.

“That is correct. U’odh Nuhn was in the Company of Heroes,” Nyx answered.

“Hey Hey! That’s not all that important! It’s about the love story!”

“Is it? This guy seems a bit pathetic. I can’t imagine anyone falling for him after that,” Alisae yawned.

U’rahn lowered his ears then glared towards the little red mage before shaking his head and continuing. 

“You’re back,” J’raha called out, holding out his arms for the other, only to be passed by.

“What happened? You look worse for wear,” T’hancred asked, putting his arm around the other as he lowered his tail sympathetically, “She said no.”

“Yeah…”

“It was some smooth talking Tia wasn’t it,” A’lphinaud accused from above.

“Get to bed,” T’hancred shot up.

“I just don’t understand what went wrong…”

“It’ll be okay buddy…your brothers got your back still.”

“Yes! And your front too,” J’raha laughed, coming in to hug L’whood while T’hancred held him from behind.

“Thanks guys…”

And his brothers did! They made sure he got out of bed, scrubbed up, and ate…but that’s as far as they could get with him. Going through the motions was all L’whood could muster for a time until one fateful day at their gym.

“I’ve got it,” L’whood yelped, looking up from a magazine over his thigh as he curled.

“What is it? What’s going on,” A’lphinaud asked, double pumping two 2 ponze barbells as fast as his little arms would take him.”

“This is the guy she wants,” L’whood announced, holding up a magazine.

T’hancred leaned in, coming off the treadmill with a towel around his shoulders. He squinted a moment before looking to the excited Nuhn.

“I think you need a break or to lay off the Delta Nuhn ale. I know you said she wanted someone mature but he’s….” T’hancred started while pointing to an etching of Montichaigne shaking his hand with a student.

“No not the old guy! The student with him. A law student! I could do it.”

And so, after a shower he hurried to his college counselor to declare his intentions.

“You can’t do this.”

L’whood’s jaw dropped as his counselor shook her head and looked over the resume again, “Sharlayan Law?”

“I have top marks though. My scores are undefeated!”

“The fact that you’re saying they’re undefeated, scores aside…Your major is in Adventuring. Sharlayan Law. I’m not sure Sharlayan Law will be impressed that you…defeated your Weight-Lifting 101 class…” the Roe woman sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose, “Do you have back ups?”

“No way! I’m going to go to Sharlayan Law!”

“Right…then you’re going to need letters of recommendation, glowing ones mind you, from scholars. And you’ll need to score at least nine-thousand on your LawSATs.”

“I had to judge a wet t-shirt contest once at a Chi Theta party once. I can handle anything!”

“...Get out.”

And he did get out! He got out and studied his tail off, reading night and day. His friends even helped him make his application essay, detailing his heroics in the context of bringing justice to the people around Thanalan U. And of course, with a bunch of etchings of him making shirtless heroic poses. Soon after, the big day came: his LawSATs came.

“WHOOD! They’re here,” A’lphinaud yelled, bursting into the Nuhn’s room along with his brothers.

“Let me see,” L’whood whooped, hopping over to tear the envelope open. 

The Nuhn’s ears and tail perked high, eyes sparkling as he looked up, “I did it Delta Nuhn brothers…I did it. I scored over 9000! I’m going to Sharlayan Law!”

“Actually, the score only goes up to one-hundred eighty,”Alphinaud quipped.

“Seriously brother! Must you insist upon taking the spotlight to make yourself known as the biggest brain in the room? Who cares? It's a storytale," Alisae groaned.

"Right. Sorry! Carry on U'rahn."

“Thanks…”

And so he went across the sea to the school he set his heart on, determined to win U’shtola back with his newfound smarts. He certainly turned heads, showing up in his cut sleeve shirt and pants that showed off his, er, seat while everyone else wore bland robes or suits. Heading down the hall for his first class, he spotted U’shtola chatting with some students. Taking a breath, he wandered past, tail swaying high so as to draw the eye.

“Whood?”

L’whood grinned then made a straight face before turning, “Shtola! By the Warden, I completely forgot you were going here!”

The woman pursed her lips, “You’re not here just to see me?”

“No way! I go here!”

“...You go where?”

“Sharlayan Law School.”

“You. You got into Sharlayan Law?”

“What? Like it’s hard. Oh…look at the time. I gotta head to class, but there’s a gazebo we could meet up at after,” he asked, checking his wrist.

With that, he beamed wildly while U’shtola looked to her friends confused.

“He…He wasn’t wearing a watch.”

L’whood didn’t catch the observation, tucking into his first class, taking up a seat in the front row. He pulled out his favourite bomb notebook and waited eagerly for the lesson to begin while others dragged out scrolls and tomes around him. His ears perked as the professor entered, striding in his white robes before pushing his glasses up into his golden gil-blond hair. 

“Hello, I am Professor Gage. A legal education means you will learn legal words. You’ll be taught to look at the world in new ways and question everything. The seat you’ve picked now will be yours for the rest of the semester…those in the front row, be ready.”

U’rahn swallowed, then thought a moment before fluttering his ears and giving the man a firm nod.

“The law is reason free from passion. Who said this?”

A pink-haired Tia in the back raised his hand.

“Yes, you there…U’zel is it?”

“A’ristotle Tia.”

“Are you sure?” the man asked.

“Yes?”

“Would you be willing to stake all your gil on it?”

“...I think so.”

“How about,” the man hummed before tapping a young woman wearing a carbuncle scarf on the head, “Her gil?”

“I…I don’t know.”

“Then I recommend knowing before interjecting. The law has much room for interpretation, but none for self-doubt,” the man scolded before returning to his black board, “And you were right. It was A’ristotle.”

“Oh not you too,” Zoissette huffed, crossing her arms as she crossed her arms, furrowing by the twins, “You know very well it is Aristotoux”

“...who,” U’rahn asked, head tilting as he wiggled his ears.

“Oh for swives sake,” the shieldmaid huffed while shaking her head, “Continue.”

The professor was quick to get on with the lesson, scrawling out things on the black board.

“Now. I assumed you’ve all read pages 1-48 and now understand subject matter jurisdiction. Who can tell me about Gododo v. Stellenoux? …Let’s call on the gil row. L’whood? 

“Huh? Hey Hey! I didn’t get an assignment?”

“Zoiselle Jauban.”

A beautiful, glasses wearing Elezen woman looked up. “Yes sir.”

“Do you think it’s acceptable that Mr. L’whood is unprepared.”

L’whood turned, ears wiggling toward his classmate.

“No. I don’t, um… do not,” the Elezen answered.

“Would you support my decision to tell him to leave and return to class only when he is prepared?”

“I do agree.”

L’whood looked crestfallen, ears lowering. Gathering his things, he rushed out of the room while Professor Gage continued on with his lesson. Finding a bench in the gazebo, he plopped down, crossing his legs and arms as he stewed over being booted on his first day, unaware he’d interrupted another Mi’qote as she studied. This beautiful Keeper looked upon him, face painted black and white, as if to comment on the balance of justice.

“Are you unwell?”

L’whood looked up, tail twitching as he looked on to the beautiful Mi’qote. If the young man hadn’t been so foolishly in love with the woman who had sparked his journey to Sharlayan law, he might have immediately fallen for her big round eyes and neutral expression.

“We get it. She’s beautiful,” Alisae groaned, “Are all Seeker men this transparent? He almost sounds like Raha.”

Y’shtola drummed her fingers on her arms as she leaned against Zoissette, the Elezen shaking her head. 

“Just the ones that play out of their league,” the Archon huffed.

U’rahn chuckled a bit, face flushed as he looked to Nyx who simply stared back.

“I believe you have lost the focus of the story describing the beautiful Miqo’te in question. Perhaps continue with the dialogue and circumstances. You excel at those.”

“Right right. Okay…so then he was like…”

“Do they all put you on the spot like that?”

“Yes. The professors prefer the S’ocratic method.”

“S’ocratic! Really!? Oh…Never mind. Just get on with it,” Zoissette groaned, occasionally glancing down to the Archon resting against her.

“And if you don’t know the answer, they just kick you out,” L’whood asked in a huff.

“That is Professor Gage’s method. Correct.”

“Did he do that to you too?”

“No, however; I have been reprimanded for correcting my classmates and Professor Gage. I was reprimanded for my objection, though I believe his frustration was assuaged by my corrections being right. It does get easier. Who are your other professors?”

“U’mhitra, Blomstradi, and Stryker.”

The Miqo’te woman paused for a moment then turned her attention back to the brightening underclassman.

“Professor U’hmitra enjoys people who voice their opinions and help to create an enriching environment for other students to engage in debate. Sit in the back for Professor Blomstradi as they swing their arms around for emphasis and tend to throw chalk due to training as a dancer. Professor Stryker takes all her exam questions from the footnotes in the textbooks.”

“Wow wow! Thank you. I’m rrreally glad I met you,” L’whood purred.

“Professor Gage takes into account knowing the quotes he inquires about at the start of his classes. This will be factored as a bonus into your grade. This is classified information.”

“Gotcha. You’re a senior, right?”

Nyx didn’t speak, instead looking up as U’shtola sauntered over. Wordlessly, she stood then went on her way while the Seeker stared down at L’whood.

“Ah! Thanks again for your help,” the Nuhn called out before looking up to U’shtola.

“How was your first class,” the woman asked sharply.

“Pretty good until this Elezen lady made me look bad in front of my professor. But I’m okay now that you’re here. How was your summer,” he asked, patting at the space next to him.

“It was fine,” she answered before looking back as Zoiselle came and stood behind her, “Have you met Zoiselle?”

“Oh…you know her…” the Nuhn huffed.

“I’m er….I am her research partner,” the Elezen answered, brushing her hand over her hair, drawing attention to a beautiful earring.

“I think a little more than that,” U’shtola hummed, blowing upon the jewelry to make the Elezen flush.

“Did I just hallucinate…” L’whood said aloud, his cheeks also a bit pink.

“Zoiselle was my partner at prep school. We rekindled our research together over the summer. I had forgotten just how sharp she was with her tongue.”

“Shtola…um, U’shtola told us all about you. We’ve enjoyed hearing stories; however, I wasn’t aware that you’d be here.”

L’whood’s ears drooped, unable to tell if the Elezen was being condescending or trying to perk him back up.

“E-Excuse me,” L’whood breathed out before pushing past them and hurrying off. He wandered to his dorm to change into his gym shorts then hurried to a small local gym, needing to work out before he fell into tears. Finding a bench, he flopped back then found a ripped Roegadyn woman staring down at him.

“Looks like you’ve been havin’ a bad day. Need a spot?”

L’whood nodded, reaching up to grab the bar of the weight before starting to pump in reps, easily doing 300 ponzes in his depression.

“I worked really hard to get into Sharlayan Law. I didn’t go to spring break, or greek week, or anything just to read a bunch of old stuffy books hoping to get my girlfriend back and now she’s research partners with this really tall pretty girl and I’m pretty sure that means they’re super in love and I wish I’d never come!”

“After you went through all that swivin’ trouble?”

“What am I gonna do? They’re partners…or something more. I’m confused about it but they’ve exchanged jewelry! That’s gotta mean something!”

“You’re askin’ the wrong sailor. I’m with my guy eight years then all of a sudden he moves out on me.”

“What did you do?”

“Drank a lot then gained twenty pounds of muscle,” the woman bragged, kissing her bicep, “Asshat got the swiven ship though and took my precious Leviathan with him.”

L’Whood looked as the Roegadyn woman pointed to the wall where a mural had been painted of her with a small cat on her shoulder.

“I didn’t even get to go to his birthday…”

“No way!”

“What could I do? He followed his dumb-stick to the smoother seas before I could break him in half.”

“That’s terrible…the first bit.”

The woman nodded before helping the Nuhn get the weights back up on their stand.

“So what’s this Zoey got that you don’t? Three tits?”

“Ah. I unno. She’s really tall and smarter than me.”

“Is she as swol as you?”

“Huh? Well,” he started, flexing in a mirror and looking at his tail, “I’m not swol, just good genes.”

“Do you know what genes are,” the Archon asked up, nails digging into her arms as she glowered in his direction.

“Ah, well. You get them from your folks…” he answered sheepishly.

“You think they’re swiven pants don’t you,” Kylnt laughed, seeming to have pulled up a chair.

“Well…I uh…” U’rahn started, poking his fingers together as the table, save Nyx, began to howl with laughter.

“Keep goin’. Keep goin’,” Klynt beckoned, waving her hand with amusement.

As L’whood continued to flex with his new friend in the mirror, a tall Elezen entered, silver hair tied up high in a ponytail and package under his arms.

“Hello there,” he waved, “I’ve a package for you.”

The Roegadyn patron stumbled over, tripping over herself as she went to sign for the item. After scrawling quickly, the man gave them both a nod then walked out of the gym with a wave.

“Thal’s balls! Could I be any more godsdamned spastic,” she growled, chucking the package into the wall, “So…you sure this U’shtola is the one?”

L’whood gulped, looking to the crumpled box before nodding, “Yeah! I love her!”

“Well, if a guy like you can’t swiven’ hold onto his gal, then there isn’t any hope for the rest of us. Steal her back!”

“Right right! Ah! My name is L’whood.”

“I’m Clynt.”

L’whood perked up then nodded hooking forearms with his new friend in solidarity before returning to working out together. With a new found vigor, he steeled himself for more studying and went home to prepare for the next day. Having Professor U’mhitra, he put himself back in front as she started to speak.

“You will all be in competition for the top grade in this class. Those who rise to the top shall see themselves eligible for one of my firm’s highly coveted internship spots for your sophomore year where you’ll study Nymian Law and assist me on cases in both The Black Shroud and La Noseca. Let the bloodbath begin. Now then…let’s get started,” she said before looking at her roster. “Mr. L’whood. Would you rather have a client who uh…who had…”

“Is something wrong, Rahn,” Nyx asked, watching as U’rahn started to swipe away at his tombstone.

“Hold on, hold on. I forget the words…right. Here we go. Sorry everyone.”

“Would you rather have a client who committed a crime malum in se or malum prohibitum?”

“...Neither?”

“Why not?”

“I’d rather have a client who’s innocent?”

The room started to snicker a bit as L’whood looked about confused.

“Wouldn’t we all Mr. L’whood. Ms. Jauban?”

“Oh. Um. Malum prohibitum. The client would’ve…er, would have committed a small infraction as opposed to a heinous crime.”

Huffing, L’whood shot up his hand, “Can I change my answer? I’d take the heinous one…cause I’m not afraid of  a challenge!”

With that he huffed again then sent a look back to Zoiselle who simply tilted her head in confusion. The rest of the class went smoothly. His confidence was bolstered by the Professor who praised him every time he answered something thoughtfully. A spring in his step, he rounded to the Last Stand to grab some snacks then headed to Noumenon in hopes of joining in on U’shtola’s study group.

“Hey hey! I came with a bunch of goodies! Think I could squeeze in?”

“...What are you even doing here,” U’shtola huffed.

“I believe we already have a full party,” Zoiselle pointed out, gesturing to two other students across the table.

“Oh, I guess this was one of those sign up things.”

“It’s more of a perceptive people thing. As Zoiselle said, we are full.”

“Surely we could make room though,” the Elezen asked, scooting over to try and accommodate more space.

“We’ve already assigned tasks and started,” U’shtola quipped.

“I can help someone! If I’m gonna assist Professor U’mhitra next year I’ll have to get used to some gopher work on top of all my assignments.”

“Whood, please. There is no way you’ll have the grades to qualify. You’re simply not smart enough.”

L’whood’s ears perked then lowered.she

“Oh, I didn’t mean,'' the Miqo’te started, realizing she’d taken a step too far.

“Am I on island hemp or did I not get into the same law school as you did?”

“Yes, you did. Still…”

“Still what, we took the same LasSATs, and are in some of the same classes.”

“L’whood, I just don’t want to see you get your hopes up. You know how you get.”

The Nuhn stared for a moment, then shook his head, “I’ll never be good enough for you, will I."

With that, he turned tail and wandered off, passing by the Keeper he’d met the other day.

“Ah, here. Study snacks,” he said, putting the basket in her arms before heading out to the gym to work out with his new friend and have her drill him as he pumped iron. Over the next few months, he dedicated himself to nothing but studying. The hard days of Professor Gage’s class soon melted away, now keeping up with his studies while impressing Professor U’mhitra by challenging the other student’s arguments with his own so much so that she finally stopped him after class to chat.

“You’re applying for my internship, correct,?”

“Yeah yeah! Here, I even have my resume,” he breathed out excitedly, tugging free a nice crisp stationary. 

“It’s on cardstock.”

“And engraved. Makes it nice and bulky like me! Giving it a bit of an extra kick, y’know? See yah tomorrow!”

As he scampered off, the lady Keeper approached U’mhitra and handed her files.

“These are the O’thyka Tia notes you requested.”

U’mhitra just nodded, sniffing at the resume, “He sprayed it with his cologne.”

“I believe that is just his natural scent.”

“I see…Do you think he just woke up one day and decided, ‘I’m going to law school’?”

“No, but I bet one day he woke up and decided he was going to be a Nuhn,” Erick’s voice sounded out in the distance.

U’rahn looked around, ears twitching as he tried to find the source of the voice.

“You around boss? I thought you weren’t coming.”

A retainer sat down a tombstone, open with Erick’s number being live.

“I requested to be informed of any gossip pertaining to me. I had my man here dial in when your story started to ramp up. Where did the Professor Gage guy go though? There should be a lot more of him and his golden hair. He should help out more too. Maybe get a girl in the end. Perhaps he could also be a spy. The dead-”

The man was cut short, a mix of fingers pressing at the red call end button.

“Okay. So, now that he was all smarter and stuff…:”

Inspired by L’whood’s determination, Clynt set off with him to confront the man that had taken her coeurl, chatting about his recent victories in class as they wandered the Sharlayan docks.

“You showed up U’shtola? I thought you were tryin’ to outdo her ‘research partner’” the woman asked, using heavy quotation marks with her fingers.

“I couldn’t help it. It’s fun knowin’ stuff.  Besides, Zoiselle didn’t do anything wrong. I don’t gotta go out of my way to get in the way of her studies. It’s mainly just so Shtola can see how serious and cool I am now. Even Professor U’mhitra was impressed by my legal skills,” he bragged before stopping at a boat, “You ready?”

Clynt nodded, cracking her fists before hopping onto the deck.

Emerging from the cabin, a white-haired Keeper emerged. L’whood blushed a bit, the duality of his black and white eyes reminding him of U’mhitra’s beautiful assistant.

“What the heck do you want? I’m eatin’ dinner.”

“I want-”

“Wanted to come over and show me what I’m not missing?”

Clynt tightened her fists, so loud that it made L’whood jump on deck with her.

“Ioh’to Reighn”

“Who’s askin’?”

“I’m L’whood Nuhn. Clynt’s attorney. Ah…uh…Under Sharlayan law you and Miss Clynt here had a common law marriage which entitles her to the benefits of property law and equitable division of assets.”

“What,” the Keeper balked.

“Due to the fact that you retained the residence…er vessel, Clynt is entitled to a full ownership of the coeurl property in question and we will be enforcing said ownership immediately.”

“Huh,” the Keeper sounded, scratching his ears.

“Tell him, Clynt.”

“I’m taking back Leviathan dumbass,” she sounded, picking up the Keeper then slinging him overboard before letting the little coeurl run out and into her arms. The two soon took off running back up the docks while the Keeper pulled himself out of the water.

“We did it,” L’whood cheered.

“Navigator, that felt swivin’ good.”

“He’s still back there scratchin’ his ears.”

“Which must be a good vacation for his balls,” Clynt chuckled.

The two laughed then returned to the gym with the little cat to celebrate with a bunch of lifts and skipping leg day. Even Professor Gage had become impressed, when L’whood was able to pick up upon a famous saying by singer F’lhaminn while the rest of the class floundered through by naming famous Forum members instead.

Soon the school was abuzz, a high profile case landing in U’mhitra’s lap had brought her to decide on her internship placements early. To no surprise, U’shtola and Zoiselle had managed to secure a seat; however, the rest were in awe over L’whood’s placement with them. Excited, L’whood showed up in his best suit, ready to dive in and impress upon everyone just how smart and good of a lawyer he was becoming.

“Thank you for coming. You’ve all made it to the top. As such, we need to dive in right away. We’re defending O’thyka Tia, whose very wealthy Nuhn was found shot to death at their estate in the Goblet.” 

“Tribe politics?” Zoiselle inquired.

“You’d think so given the dynamic; however, he didn’t have a need for the Nuhn’s riches as he’s some sort of hunting prodigy that sells instruction scrolls and was poised to take over since he didn’t have a handsome hero cousin to lead the tribe instead.”

“Wait…O’thyka Tia….Of the Mole tribe?”

U’mhitra looked through her papers, shuffling them a bit, “Yes. You know of him?”

“He’s a Delta Nuhn! He wasn’t in my pledge class of course, but I used to go hunting in his parties in the desert before his scrolls took off. He’s amazing!”

U’mhitra stared, “Amazing…how?”

“Well, he could fight off three sandworms at once. I mean, I could do five, but most can’t even do one! He’s super gifted!”

“Well, he’s also most likely super guilty. He was seen standing over his Nuhn’s dead body,” the professor sighed.

“By who,” U’shtola asked.

“Er, whom dear,” Zoiselle corrected.

“His brother, O’khuba and a visiting tribesmen from Gyr Abania.”

“Maybe he just stumbled in on him?” L’whood asked.

“That’s what we’ll be selling to the jury.”

As the room sat on the information, the Keeper assistant wandered in, standing at attention behind U’mhitra.

“Apologies. I was detained by other business.”

“You’re fine. Everyone, this is Myx Whitesun, an associate. She graduated top of her class and is the former editor of the Sharlayan Review. No doubt you’ve seen her doing research on my behalf around campus.

“Or observing you all,” Myx added.

“You’re not even trying anymore, are you,” Klynt sighed, shaking her head as she stifled a chuckle.

“What? It’s a perfectly good name!”

“You do leave little to the imagination, my Nuhn friend,” Thancred chuckled.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Waters is referring to the likeness of yourself and companions in your stories.”

U’rahn flushed, “Hey hey! These are just coincidences!”

“They are all facsimiles.”

“....Face…smiles…?”

“Copies of us.”

U’rahn shook his head rapidly. “No no no. They’re not! Just a coincidence!”

Everyone rolled their eyes, save Nyx of course.

“Just move on,” Alisae huffed, sulking as she rested her arms on the table and sunk her chin into them.

“What about the murder weapon,” U’shtola asked.

“The gun is missing. The chirurgeon said he’d been dead thirty minutes when the cop arrived, giving the O’thyka plenty of time to stash it.”

“Hey hey! There’s no way Thyka could’ve done this. Hunting is exercise- exercise gives you endorphins, and endorphins make you happy. Happy Tia don’t kill their Nuhns!”

“You don’t really believe he’s innocent do you,” U’mhitra asked.

“Of course I do,” L’whood answered, blushing a bit as Myx looked at him.

“Then we have a case,” the Keeper announced while the professor sat back in her chair and thought.

With that, the group made their way to Ul’dah, seeking out the prisoner in the dungeons below. U’mhitra took the lead, sitting across from O’thyka while everyone crowded behind her.

“You understand you’re on trial for murder, right,” the woman asked.

“I really didn’t do it! I walked in after my hunt, saw my Nuhn lying on the floor, checked his pulse, then screamed until O’khuba and N’zhet stumbled upon me.”

“Where they saw you standing over the body covered in his blood?”

“Why would I kill my Nuhn!?”

“Why does any Tia challenge their Nuhn? Wealth, Huntresses, Glory? All things the Sultanate will bring up at court.”

“He was my uncle! I loved him!”

“He was an old man not ready to give up his seat of power within the tribe. That’s not going to sound good to a jury, O’thyka. I believe you, but a jury is going to need an alibi.”

“I can’t give you that. And if you put me on the stand, I’ll have to lie,” the Tia whined.

“I believe we’re done for the day,” U’mhitra sighed.

L’whood frowned, tail lowering. As he went to exit with the others, O’thyka sat up, ears perked high.

“I know you!”

L’whood stopped, then pointed to himself, “Yeah. I’m Delta Nuhn and a big fan of yours.”

“Yeah, you went on some hunts with me. Took down…four sandworms on your own. Are you one of my lawyers?”

“It was five…and sort of.”

“Well thank the Warden one of you has a brain.”

L’whood smiled then motioned joyfully to the other before taking his turn to exit the room. Returning to Sharlayan, he went to Clynt’s gym, doing crunches together while Leviathan wandered about like he owned the place.

“I feel….so bad…for him…I mean…he’s in jail! ….And he’s innocent! ….And I’m the…only…one…who…believes!!!”

L’whood panted as he finished his set, hopping to his feet before thanking Clynt as she handed him a towel.

“That’s because they’re all swivin’ stiff ass mother - oh gods.”

Wandering in, the handsome Elezen wandered in, nodding to some of the other patrons as he sat down a package on the counter.

“Huh? What is it,” L’whood asked to Clynt.

“It’s him,” Clynt hissed before shuffling over to the counter, the Nuhn following.

“I’ve got a package,” he stated plainly.

“He does have a package,” L’whood chuckled.

“How are you doing today,” the man asked.

“Fine,” Clynt answered nervously, seizing L’whood’s wrist under the counter until it cracked.

The Miqo’te’s tail and ears snapped up as he felt the pain shoot through him while the Elezen just stared, silver hair glittering in the gym’s light. 

“I-I’ll sign,” the Nuhn squeaked out, taking a pen and scratching his name on it.

“Well, take care,” the man said to the two before making his exit.

“Oh swive me,” Clynt breathed out.

L’whood  shook out his sore wrist, “Is that it? Don’t you want to say anything else to him?”

“Sometimes I say ‘Okay’.”

“Have you ever considered asking him out?”

“What’s the point? Look at me?”

“I am. And I see a swivin’ beautiful, strong, sexy woman!”

“I’m not interested in the whole Nuhn thing, bub.”

“I didn’t mean it like that! I meant you’ve got the guns, you’ve just gotta read the safety manual,” he chuckled before stepping out from behind the counter, “I’m going to show you a little maneuver my old man taught me when I was a Tia. It’s got like…a 109% success rate in getting anyone you fancy’s attention when used right…and like, 75% rate on getting to go out to dinner. It’s the bend & flex!”

L’whood moved the center of the room, eyes on him as he bent over then came up and flexed, shooting out a grin so fine that his teeth gave a little sparkle. “That’s it. Just bend down to get something then snap into a hero pose! You try!”

Clynt wandered over, mimicking the motions, “Bend…and flex!”

“Good! Now, just flex your shoulders a bit more. Really make your muscles pop.”

“Like this,” a small purple haired Lalafell asked, moving into the pose before shooting off a wild grin.

“Exactly,” L’whood praised.

Soon the entire gym had joined in on the fun, everyone bending and flexing, and only a few people ended up hitting their heads on equipment. All in all, everyone left feeling pretty confident, especially Clynt and L’whood!

“Oi! Off the table right now! Lord Edmont will be furious with me if I return those with shoe scuffs,” Leonnioux huffed, hurrying over with a broom to swipe at U’rahn and Klynt as they demonstrated the pose.

“Sorry! We were getting into it!”

Leon rubbed his temple, “If it’s not one thing today it’s another. Have you seen Zel?”

Everyone pointed to the balcony.  Given directions, the groom handed Zoissette the broom and then hurried off to catch up with his bride.

“Heh. Right…so then…the trial,” U’rahn chuckled.

O’khuba had been put on the stand, with U’mhitra crossing him, shaking her head as he recounted his version of events.

“I came out from the springs to go visit Uncle, and saw him standing over my Uncle and called for the authorities.”

“Did he have a weapon in hand?”

“No.”

“Was there any reason for you to believe he had discarded a weapon?”

“Of course. He killed him.”

The courtroom began to whisper while U’mhitra rubbed her temples.

“Was there any evidence that O’thyka stabbed him?”

“Yeah. His dead body with the whole stab wound in it.”

U’mhitra folded her ears back then waved the other off the stand to have N’zhet replace him.

“What did you see when you entered his dwelling,” U’mhitra asked.

“I saw O’thyka standing over the body of O’odh Nuhn.”

“Was he carrying a weapon?”

“No, he was crying his eyes out.”

U’mhitra smiled then nodded, “So then he was upset over his dead Nuhn?”

“Sure. O’thyka is the most sweet, wonderful Tia there is. He’s been my pal since the day I became a Nuhn. We’re…very close,” he chuckled, putting his arms behind his head and flexing his pecs under a metallic dress shirt.

“A brief….a brief recess,” U’mhitra huffed, looking over the other for a moment before leading everyone out.

“They’re swiving,” Zoiselle groaned, shaking her head.

L’whood was taken aback. “There is no way a Delta Nuhn would ever…y’know…do that sort of thing with someone wearing something so shiny! Right U’shtola?”

“How would I know? Though…I do say, I cannot see those two together…Then again, some Seekers will do anything to feel like a Nuhn…”

“So because O’thyka is handsome and has a great body he’s easy? Not to mention he’d…y’know, probably not lift his tail if he was the one trying to play at being a Nuhn!”

“If O-Thyka did not commit the murder. Who did,” Myx asked.

“Obviously the jealous cousin,” L’whood huffed.

“He’s already in charge of all their coin and has the ear of the huntresses. He could have just challenged his Uncle for the position,” U’mhitra interjected

“All I know is that it’s not Thyka,” L’whood doubled down.

“Well that’s nice Whood, but we need an alibi,” U’shtola huffed.

The Nuhn huffed, crossing his arms then left to go check in with O’thyka, bringing him a bunch of jerky and protein powder as a care package. O’thyka was soon brought in, sporting a bright jumpsuit.

“Are you okay bro? You look sad…and very orange.”

“I’m just glad to see you,” O’thyka sighed, perking up, “And not that U’mhitra.”

“She means well. She’s really brilliant and all!”

“She better be for the gil.”

L’whood nodded then started to pull out the treats he brought. 

“I have some jerky, protein, some athletic supports, and of course the Enchiridion,” the Nuhn listed, holding up not the Halonic text but Muscle & Nuhnness. 

“You’re the best,” O’thyka answered excitedly.

L’whood nodded before dropping his ears low, “I’m here for another reason though. We really need your alibi.”

O’thyka’s ears dropped as well as he shook his head.

“I can’t Whood. You don’t understand.”

“Who could understand you better than I?”

“It’s so shameful…”

“But it’ll save you!”

“It’ll ruin me!”

“How?”

The two stared at each other for a moment before the Tia finally sighed and rested his chin on the table.

“I have made my fortune on my ability to teach Seekers how to perfect their bodies and hunt the sands for prey.”

“I know! Without you I’d have never had the courage to take down six instead of four!”

“Well…on the day of O’odh’s murder…I….I was staging hunts I’d already felled to make it look like I had taken down more than I actually had.”

“No!” L’whood gasped.

“I’m a fraud! I lost my Nuhn already, I'd rather just stay in jail than ruin mine and the tribe’s reputation…”

“Your secret is safe with me,” L’whood nodded before taking the other to his chest to hug.

Later L’whood returned to U’mhitra to reexamine the case with everyone else.

“Any news on U’thyka’s front,” U’mhitra asked as L’whood settled in.

“I went to get his alibi!”

Myx’s ears perked as she turned, looking over with the others.

“...Did you get it,” the lawyer asked.

“Yes.”

“...”

“...”

“And?”

“I promised him I’d keep it a secret. I can’t break the bonds of brotherhood!”

“Swive brotherhood! This is a murder trial, not some scandal at the fraternity house. I want the alibi,” U’mhitra huffed, slamming her hand on the table.

“I can’t give it to you. All I can say is that he’s innocent.”

U’mhitra let out a frustrated noise while the others shook their heads. Myx soon took a spot across from L’whood while the everyone else took their leave for a break.

“You can’t be against me too!”

“O-Thyka has not provided a substantial alibi. This would imply his guilt.”

“Why does that mean he did it,” L’whood pressed.

“He wanted to best the Nuhn of the tribe and makes a living by telling young men they are not fit enough. These are parameters for not being trustworthy given his circumstances.”

“That old man was wicked strong! Anything O’thyka boasted to do, the old man did twice over and didn’t brag about it. And then he never told me I wasn’t fit enough. He says if they feel they’ve worked their hardest, then they have.”

“This does not change that he is hiding something.”

“...You’re kind of being a butthead right now,” L’whood laughed.

Myx stared quietly a moment, eyes searching the playful Nuhn’s face. “I do not understand. How do I resemble a butthead?”

“‘Cause people aren’t always what they appear to be. You have to have a little faith and then you’ll be surprised.”

A hush fell over them for a moment, Myx continuing with her staring a long while before saying, “No one has ever called me a butthead before.”

L’whood blinked then quickly rummaged around in his bag, pulling out some jerky leftover from his visit. “I saved some for you.”

“Thank you,” she answered before eating it, seeming to not struggle to chew it, “It is delicious.”

“Heh. It’s really good. It improves one’s mood. It projects joy, kinda like you,” he hummed, cheeks turning a bit red.

 “Projecting joy is not my job function.”

L’whood laughed a little then stood up, “Let’s get something to eat before we go back to court.”

And so the two went off and had a very lovely lunch together and talked. L’whood told her of his dream to make a defense league for Nuhn who are discriminated against for various reasons…or called Tia. This amused Myx, though she reminded him there would be little to no legal precedent. Their date soon ended, and they made their way to court where the prosecutor had started to cross examine N’zhet.

“Can you tell us what this is,” a stern looking Elezen asked, holding a purple speedo up on a pencil.

“My uh…hunting outfit…”

“This is what O’thyka would have you wear when hunting?”

“Yes.”

“And are you or are you not having an affair with O’thyka Tia?”

The crowd murmured as N’zhet shifted in his seat.

“Define affair?”

“Have you and U’thyka have had sexual relations?”

“Fine. Yes! We have! He’s lifted my tail!”

The whole room gasped as they turned to O’thyka who shook his head angrily. Unable to get control of the room, the judge sent everyone out, with the defendant struggling and looking back to the legal team, “I’ve never! A Delta Nuhn would never hunt with someone who doesn’t wear the proper gear!”

“I believe you,” L’whood called out before being ushered out with everyone else.

Returning to their offices, they all went back to work, looking into anything to help the situation. L’whood falling asleep on a folder soon found Zoiselle gently tapping him on the head with some papers.

“Are you finished with the deposition?”

L’whood wiped the drool off his chin then nodded sheepishly, “Yeah, I read it a bunch.”

Zoiselle held the folder between the fingers, giving it a little shape before turning away, only to pause and look back.

“I..I um…I believe him too. I don’t…I do not think he had an affair with N’zhet.”

L’whood perked up, ears bouncing joyfully as he nodded, “Yeah yeah? Too bad you and I are the only ones though.”

Zoiselle smiled, “I still can not believe you did not tell U’mhitra the alibi.”

“It’s not my alibi to tell-”

“I know. I thought that it was…It was very brave of you.”

“Really? Thanks!”

As they had their exchange, T’hancred and J’raha burst in, scooping the other up chanting “Stag party!”

“What’s all this,” L’whood laughed, letting the two toss him about in the air as he made for the door.

“It’s my bachelor party! I beat my old man. I’m going to be a Nuhn,” T’hancred cheered, spotting Zoiselle and giving her a smile.

“Oh! You made a friend. Bring her along! The more the merrier and all that.”

“Me? Oh-...Oh no,” Zoiselle answered, shaking her head.

L’whood squirmed then fell out of the two’s grasp, rolling then landing on his feet. “Sorry guys. It’s case time. I gotta take care of this and I need to do a really good job. After it’s all over we can have a big party!”

J’raha sighed then relented, arm around T’hancred, “Your duty comes first. Call us though if you change your mind.”

“Brothers foreverrr,” T’hancred howled, walking backward out the door with J’raha in tow.

L’whood chuckled, looking at Zoiselle before she turned to go take her turn with the files. Feeling that he should at least let out a little steam, he took another set of files then headed to the gym to read while working out. As he did some curls and flipped through pages, the door chimed, the Postmog man wandering in toward Clynt.

“I’ve got a big one for you today. Can you sign,” he asked.

Clynt froze for a moment then swallowed before knocking her pen off the table. Reaching down, she started to flex while the delivery man looked over.

“You got it,” he asked before finding the Roegadyn flip up and smack him in the chin with her head, sending him backward.

“Seven hells,” Clynt groaned while L’whood hopped up to check on the passed out man.

“...You broke his nose.”

“I’m okay…really,” the man assured them, rubbing his nose while Clynt hid her face in her palms.

“Well, he noticed me. I maimed him, but he swiven’ noticed me.”

“It’s really fine. Really,” the delivery man echoed.

“Move your tail and let me see,” Clynt huffed, squatting down beside the man to check him out.

L’whood froze for a moment as her words echoed through his head. 

“I gotta go! I think you blew open my case,” he breathed out before taking off back toward the legal offices.

Spotting Myx, he jumped up and down to get her attention.

“L-Whood. We are about to embark for the courthouse. You are underdressed.”

“Hey hey! Forget that. He’s a Tia! N’zhet is a Tia!”

“What?”

“He’s a Tia. He is making it up and probably being paid off.”

“You have not provided any evidence.”

“Nuhn don’t lift their tails, they do the tail lifting! ‘Cause they’re supposed to be on top. And why isn’t he busy with the huntresses! He shouldn’t have the energy for that sort of thing!”

U’mhitra overhearing this shook her head and sighed. “I appreciate your legal theory…but this is a murder trial.”

L’whood frowned then followed behind everyone dejected as they returned to the courthouse and the trial resumed. Returning to the cross examination, U’mhitra tutted then gestured back to O’thyka.

“N’zhet, do you have any proof of your affair with O’thyka?”

“Just the love in my hearrrt,” he purred.

“If that’s all the proof then there’s nothing more to say,” the lawyer huffed before moving toward her seat.

Myx looked to N’zhet then back to L’whood before standing by herself.

“I have additional inquiries.”

“Proceed,” the judge answered.

“N-Zhet. Did you ever go on a date with O-Thyka?”

“Yes.”

“Where?”

“A restaurant in Limsa where no one would recognize us.”

“And how have you been sleeping with O-Thyka?”

“Three months?”

“And what is the name of the N tribes’ Nuhn?”

“N’rahz.”

The audience gasped as L’whood sat up in his seat.

“I knew it,” the Nuhn cheered, tail thrashing with excitement.

“I-I’m sorry. I misunderstood. Of course I am a Nuhn. N’rahz is just some Tia.”

“The hell he is,” a lady Miqo’te stood, “He’s the hero of our village you pretender!”

N’zhet turned pale as the court went wild with murmurs.

“What in the seven hells does being a Nuhn or Tia have anything to do with this case,” Thancred asked.

“He was lying? It ruined his credibility.”

“That doesn’t disprove an affair…no matter where his sword is sheathed.”

“It was enough to establish he was a lying liar that no one should ever believe about being kissed or anything else that’s happened to him with another guy that’s perfectly natural for rough housing!”

The table went quiet for a moment before Thancred cleared his throat.

“Right then…carry on…”

After the trial, L’whood was summoned to U’mhitra’s chambers, the Nuhn feeling high off his perfectly sound and logical victory.

“Hey hey! Is everything okay? We’re gonna go drinking and stuff!”

“Sit down,” the woman ordered, watching him move to a chair, “You followed your gut today and won the case. I should have listened.”

“Thank you.”

“About the alibi…”

L’whood frowned then shook his head.

“I’m sorry, but-”

“I’m impressed you went to get it. That’s the making of a good lawyer. You gained your client’s trust. You’re smart. Smarter than most of the people I employ.”

“That…That really means a lot,” L’whood breathed out, basking in her praise.

U’mhtira moved, then sat down across from him, eyes soft and searching his face.

“I think it’s time we discuss your future. Have you thought about where you might intern for the summer?

“Not really. I know it’s rather competitive.”

“Yes. It’s about tenacity, and grit. Balancing intelligence with might, strength. Knowing exactly how far you’ll go to get it. How far will you go?”

L’whood burned red as he felt her hand on his thigh before hopping up and back.

“Y-You’re hitting on me!?”

“You’re a very handsome Nuhn.”

“So…so everything you said?”

“I’m a woman who know what she wants.”

“And I’m a Nuhn who realized your firm isn’t the place for me!”

U’mhitra huffed as she sat back, “Too bad. I thought you were a law student who wanted to be a lawyer.”

L’whood fled, the building, hurrying down the stairs and bumping into Myx on the way.

“Whood! What is wrong?”

The Nuhn sniffed hard, tears in his eyes, “Law school was a mistake! Getting this dumb internship was a mistake!”

“I do not understand. You have shown increasing merrit-’

“I didn’t earn it! I’m just a piece of perfectly sculpted meat! U’mhitra made it clear that she liked the way I’m built when she tried to feel me up!”

Myx snapped her attention to the higher floor before finding L’whood wandering past.

“Where are you going?”

“Back to my home. I can fulfill my destiny as a useless humbo and join the Thanalan speedo team. No more suits. No more dress boxers. No more trying to be something I’m not.”

“You are already being who you are. Please do not abscond.”

L’whood looked down at his feet then shook his head, “Thanks for not treating me the way everyone else here does. Call me if you’re ever my way.”

And so he left running home to pack. Not wanting to leave Clynt high and dry, he returned to the gym to tell her the news, sniffling a little bit in the process.

“You can’t swiven’ leave now!”

“What’s the point of staying? All people see when they look at me is my six-pack and my biceps. No one’s ever going to take me seriously. The people at law school don’t. U’shtola doesn’t. I don’t even think my old man takes me seriously. He wanted me to grow up and be some sorta generic adventurer. Now for the first time I was gonna do something better than bonking some bad guys around and posing in my speedos.  But I was kidding myself. I wasn’t going to be a lawyer. All I was was a good looking piece of ass. Turns out, I’m just a joke. So I came to say goodbye.”

A grunt sounded followed by the clang of a 300 pound barbell hitting the rest. Sitting up, a rippling Professor Gage sat up, putting his towel around his neck and shaking his head. 

“If you let one stupid person ruin your life, then you’re not the Nuhn I thought you were,” he huffed before towel whipping L’whood.

As L’whood sniffled then smiled to his professor he felt his tomestone jingle. Answering, he lit up then nodded rapidly.

“Yeah! I’ll be right there! Hey hey! Can you watch my stuff! I got a case to win,” the Nuhn boasted, fist bumping Clynt before rushing out back to the courthouse.

As he entered, U’mhitra was livid, looking to L’whood as he sauntered down the aisle to join Myx and O’thyka at the defendant’s table.

“He’s just a student! He can’t defend you!”

“Thanalan Law 3:03 A law student may appear on  behalf of a defendant in criminal proceedings with a licensed attorney. I am a licensed attorney and will be supervising him,” Myx stated while U’mhitra raged then took a seat in the crowd.

Once the courtroom had calmed down, L’whood found himself standing before the witness stand, O’khuba bitterly looking upon him.

“Uh…so…I’d like to point out that not only is there no proof in this case, but there’s a complete lack of mens rea, which by definition tells us that there is no crime without a vicious will…

“I am aware of the meaning. I do not need a vocabulary lesson. Question your witness,” the judge ordered.

“Right! So! Khuba! When you arrived back at the hut, was your Uncle there?”

“Not that I saw…like I said. I had a turkey leg then went to swim in the springs.”

“And when you came downstairs, what happened?”

“I saw O’thyka standing over his body. Drenched in blood.”

“And did Thyka have a sword or spear?”

“No. He’d stashed it by then.”

“I request that “He’d stashed it by then” is stricken from the record, your Honor. Speculation is not allowed,” Myx chimed up.

“Stricken,” the judge echoed.

L’whood nodded, back to Myx gratefully before looking to the other.

“Did you hear the sound of combat? The meeting of metal and flesh?”

“No…I was swimming in the springs.”

“And at some point…in the…twenty minutes you were in the springs your Uncle was stabbed?”

“I guess?”

“Your Uncle was stabbed while you were in the springs…but you didn’t hear him cry out or get murdered because you were in the springs.”

“Yes. I was swimming.”

“Could you tell us what you were doing earlier that day?”

“I got up, had some Sharbucks, went to the gym, then came home and had a turkey leg like I said.”

“Where you went to the springs?”

“...Yes.”

“I believe we established that the witness was in the spring.”

L’whood wiggled his ears then beamed at O’khuba, “Have you ever gone swimming before?”

“Yes?”

“How often would you say?”

“Twice a day since I was a lad?”

“You know, a boy in my fraternity, A’lphinaud, went swimming. We protested cause the boy isn’t buoyant, but he went anyway. It happened to be on the day of our big turkey hunt. So he had a nice leg himself then headed to the pool. He got a huge cramp and nearly drown!”

“Objection. Why is this relevant,” the prosecutor sighed.

“Hey hey! I have a point,” L’whood protested.

“Make it then,” the judge ordered.

“Right! So! Khuba. Why is it that he got a cramp?”

“Cause he went in the pool after eating.”

“That’s right. Because isn’t that the number 1 rule  of swimming? Wait thirty-minutes before you go swimming or you’ll drown!?” “Yes?”

“And if someone knows that rule, would they not go swimming? Unless he wanted to cramp and drown!? Even more, if you were busy not drowning, you’d have heard your dear Uncle being slain!”

“He’s younger than even I! Did you not know that? I’ve built the tribe, the trust of the huntresses! I didn’t mean to stab him! I meant to stab you,” O’khuba roared, thrusting his finger toward O’thyka.

The crowd went wild with gasps while the judge banged at her gavel. And just like that the trial was over and to celebrate, the team sans U’mhitra celebrated with a small party at Clynt’s gym. All of L’whood’s friends gathered to celebrate him before applauding wildly at his victory. Even U’shtola managed to corner him.

“You were amazing,” she praised.

“Yeah? Truly?”

“Yes, it made me realize something. I was an utter fool.”

L’whood blushed a bit, swallowing hard.

“Yeah? Uh…”

“You really can be a Nuhn and a lawyer.”

“Huh…I guess I am. Well, I hope we get to meet in court someday! I’m sure you and Zoiselle will make a formidable couple.”

“Hmmm?”

“Surely he means in the courtroom,” Zoiselle interjected, pushing U’shtola away gently.

“Sure sure. Wherever,” L’whood laughed before turning to find Myx staring at him.

“I request you join me for dinner.”

L’whood blinked then tilted his head, “Are you asking me on a date?”

“Yes, that would be agreeable.”

The Nuhn beam then nodded, tail flipping happily. L’whood would go on to graduate with honors and start a chapter of Delta Nuhn at Sharlayan Law. Clynt and the Postmoogle man ended up going in on a larger gym space together. They’re married now. U’shtola and Zoiselle started a practice together, specializing in complicated and emotional cases. As for Myx, she left U’mhitra’s firm and started her own. She plans to ask L’whood to marry her. 

U’rahn beamed as he looked around the table, the mix of Scions and friends rolling their eyes or shaking their heads. Zoissette seemed unable to even look anyone in the eye while Y’shtola swirled a glass of wine, staring daggers in it. Alisae was worn out from laughing, while Alphinaud muttered to himself. Thancred had drifted off, chatting with Klynt leaving U’rahn to turn to Nyx with a chuckle.

“Did you enjoy my story?”

“I enjoyed observing you telling it.”

“I’ll take that as a victory then! It certainly lifted the mood.”

“I would not consider it a victory as far as your storytelling is concerned; however, I believe your goal as always was to amuse me and others. So, in that, you are victorious.”

“Thanks…I think? Shall we dance?”

“Yes. Let’s.”

Smiling, U’rahn reached out his hand then stood, taking Nyx to the dance floor, swaying together until others joined them. As he flicked his tail happily, he couldn’t help but think that this had become the perfect day.