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summer-nights19 · 1 year ago

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Replaceable

Ryota Kise x gn! reader (cw: angst, cheating, toxic relationship) I'm in an angsty mood and feeling motivated so here you go <3

You looked at your phone and tried not to cry as you reread the message Kise had just sent you to make sure you'd understood correctly.

"Something came up. Can't make it tonight,"

That was it. No apologies. No explanations of exactly what had "come up" that was important enough for him to miss out on your one year anniversary dinner, although he probably just meant that he changed his mind and had ditched you to play basketball with his friends until late. Again. You swore that every time he hurt you by letting you down like this, a little piece of your heart broke. It didn't ache like it used to, though. You'd grown so accustomed to being let down by him that you were starting to grow numb to it. Each time he did it, he never showed remorse or even bothered to check if you were ok. Feeling like an idiot, you trudged downstairs and cleared away the large meal you'd spent the whole day preparing. A lot of work had gone into recreating Kise's favourite dishes, and cooking wasn't exactly something you adored, but you hadn't minded because it was for him.

You'd been completely delusional to believe in the man who did nothing but let you down.

As you packed everything up in the fridge, you thought back to the start of your relationship. How everything had seemed so perfect. How, at the time, you took it all for granted.

You and Kise first met when you worked as an assistant to the team's coach during the season of the Winter Cup. She was a friend of yours and had been tired recently due to the season's workload, so you you didn't think twice about offering to help with the simpler tasks, like going through paperwork, supplying water bottles, or cleaning up the gym after it had been used. You'd seen Kise around school, always followed by masses of adoring fangirls. He was loud, charming and confident, as well as a known player. Those were qualities you envied greatly, even though it pained you to admit it. The first few sessions, he'd hit on you continuously, but, much to his surprise, you'd brushed him off, telling him to stop being a dumbass and go back to training. Back then, you didn't know it, but the fact that you were so adamant about rejecting him only made Kise want you more. It was the first time in his life he'd been rejected, let alone so bluntly. He realised he'd have to change his game in order to win you over.

Before you knew it, Kise was sticking to you like a clam. He'd walk with you to class, sit in the desk next to yours, sit with you for lunch... he was even there when you were running errands after school or walking home. All this time, he'd been very kind and respectful, though a little flirtatious. At first, this almost stalking of his irritated you greatly. You didn't understand why he was so desperate to make you his... groupie ? No, that couldn't be it. He treated you with an attention and talked with you in a way he never did with his groupies. Besides, you didn't see him around with them that much these days. However, over time, you discovered you liked having him around. As your conversations got deeper and you opened up and grew to understand each other, you realised how comfortable he truly made you feel, and the indescribable joy you felt in his company. He'd become your rock- a stable point in your life who was always there for you and ready to support you. When, a few months later, he asked you to make it official, you didn't hesitate to say yes.

Dating him was always going to be more a of a compromise than you would have liked. There were days in which you didn't see each other at all. A student athlete of his calibre didn't have much free time at all, especially when important tournaments came around. However, he always found a way to make time for you in those days- he'd drop by your house, take you on dates all around the city centre- coffee shops, parks, cinemas, you name it- and on the days he really didn't have time, he'd call you and let you know, apologising and promising you'd do so much together when he returned. You compromised too, showing up at his training sessions and matches decked out in his team's colours to cheer him on. On the nights he was too tired to take you out, you'd simply take him back to yours and spend hours talking as you both snuggled in your single bed. How many times had you fallen asleep like that, with his arms wrapped around you and your head on his chest ?

Things didn't change suddenly. They rarely ever do. The dates became less frequent, even when he had the time. He stopped calling you when he was busy and just disappeared for a few days, returning afterwards and acting like nothing had happened. His affection became less and less frequent, even when you tried to initiate something. You'd never forget the pain you felt when you said "I love you" and he didn't say it back, but played it off instead. It had been like a knife wound in your chest. Over time, you noticed he barely initiated anything, even text message conversations. It was usually left to you to do that, and half the time he'd have some lame excuse about this test he had to study for or that extra practice session he couldn't miss.

He'd also started hanging out with his groupies again.

You watched them flirt, Kise's arm around their shoulders as he showered them with praise that was only meant for you. The first time you'd seen it, you'd ran off in the other direction and hid in the bathroom crying for the remainder of the school day. Eventually, you tried to confront him about it. Several times. It never went anywhere.

"I didn't mean it like that, Y/N. You know you're my girlfriend,"

"Don't be so uptight,"

"I had my arm around her waist ? Are you sure you didn't just imagine it ?"

It seemed like all you did those days was argue. You'd had the occasional argument during the early days of your relationship, but it was always resolved quickly with hugs and apologies and a bond stronger than ever. It never used to be like this. You thought about leaving him, playing the scene out in your head, thinking about what you'd say and how he might respond. If you left him, it would end this vicious cycle and you could start fresh. However, you knew you couldn't act on these thoughts. Kise still held your heart in the palm of his hand. You were bound to him, your feeling like chains you couldn't escape unless you ripped off a limb in the process.

Sometimes, you wondered if he knew this. And if he did, did it give him some sort of satisfaction to have your unquestioning loyalty, no matter what ? Was that what he'd always been like ? Maybe you'd just been too blind to see it.

When you discovered that he'd been sleeping with some groupie or other three months ago, you'd come very close to leaving him. You'd shut yourself in your house pretending to have the fever, lying in bed and wondering when the tears would stop. You'd been just about to call him when you heard a knock at your front door. Against your better judgement, you opened it. After all, the part of you that loved Kise was still the strongest. He stood there looking more attractive than ever, with a bouquet of your favourite flowers in his hands.

"Bae, I'm sorry. I was really drunk and I wasn't thinking right. It was a mistake and it'll never happen again, I swear to you,"

You'd collapsed in his arms, sobbing as he stroked your hair and comforted you. You took him back without hesitation, telling yourself that this time, you'd make it work.

Ever since that day, he'd started to text you and take you out slightly more frequently. Still nothing compared to what he once did, but even the slight improvement was like balm to your wounds. He still almost never touched you or told you he loved you, but you told yourself that you'd build back up to these things slowly, that you were just going through a rough patch. Kise himself would tell you that he was really busy and stressed and tired all the time, so he didn't have the capacity to treat you like he used to. You accepted his explanation graciously, ignoring that he seemed to have the time to be constantly out with his friends despite all this.

The lengths you went to to delude yourself into thinking that it would all turn out fine were remarkable.

After the first month, even those slight efforts simmered out and he went back to practically ghosting you, except this time you didn't have the energy to try to fix the relationship. Your heart ached too much, and part of you hoped that he'd just leave so you could start to move on with your life. But he never did.

Maybe that was why you'd been anticipating this anniversary dinner so greatly- it was a chance to truly be alone together, to spend time together like you did when you first fell in love, to start to heal your relationship in a healthy way together.

So much for that.

You made your way upstairs to bed again, cocooning yourself in your duvet and letting the tears flow freely.

What had you done wrong ? Why were you never enough for him ? Why couldn't it all be perfect again ?

Your phone went off, a message notification appearing on the screen. Your home screen was a picture of you in Kise's basketball sweatshirt. It was way too beg for you, but you loved wearing them whenever he was away as the smell reminded you of being held by him. IN the picture, he was lifting you up and spinning you around as you laughed. He'd just won some match in a tournament and you'd gone to congratulate him. You tried to remember the last time you'd felt like that with him. It had been months since you'd been that happy together. Sighing, you clicked on the notification, the dread already beginning to coil in your throat.

The message was from your friend, the coach of the basketball team It was a photo of Kise, his arm wrapped around some girl in your year. He was looking down at her with his signature flirty smirk, and she was looking back at him like he was her whole world. They seemed to be at a party, surrounded by people dancing and drinking. They all looked so happy. The girl, of course, was absolutely stunning. Like a model.

You thought back to that picture of you with Kise and started sobbing even harder, your entire body shaking. The pain in your chest was becoming almost unbearable.

It was captioned "I'm so sorry, but you needed to know,"

You knew what you needed to do. You'd feel lost at first, and it would keep hurting for a while, but it would ultimately set you free. You couldn't keep allowing Kise to break you and then picking up the pieces quietly. It all hurt too much.

Taking a deep breath as you fought the tears, you clicked on Kise's phone number and began typing. Soon, it would all be over.

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#knb #knb x reader #ryota kise x reader #ryota kise #kise x reader #ryota kise fanfic #angst #kise x reader knb #breakup #cheating #knb fanfic

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99liners · 3 years ago

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GoM leaving for a long time without informing you:

pairing: GoM x gender neutral reader.

request: Anonymous asked: Hi! Can i request a hc for the gom please?Where they have to go away for a long time and they didnt tell their s/o. You can decide if happy ending or not Thanks have a nice day

abstract:

lately, your boyfriend has been distant.

it isn’t like he is usually too much in your face, he never is but there is that uncanny feeling pricking at the base of your spine – warning you that something is afoot, something is just plain out wrong. something is going inside that pretty little head of his but he refuses to talk about it or even acknowledge it to you. on the other hand, everyone around you seems to know about what is going on. his friends seem to know what is happening but no one is letting you in on a thing. are they being sympathetic towards you or just trying to give you the sign that something is wrong? you cannot exactly put your finger on it anymore.

at first, it was bothersome but no? hell, it is absolutely driving you up the wall, driving you crazy with all sorts of bad thoughts. is he cheating on you? did something happen during some match or in the locker room? did he have a fight with someone? is he second-guessing your relationship with you? whatever it is, why cannot he just talk to you! you have always been there for him, through thick and thin, through wins and losses. all those nights of moping around after tournament losses – the anger, frustration, exhaustion, grief – no one but you bore the brunt of everything that he went through. the times that he fell like giving up, forsaking basketball – no one but you persisted with him through it all, keeping him on the right track, keeping him focussed. at this juncture, you cannot think of one single thing that he could be hiding, much less in this manner.

mayhaps, he was falling out of love with you. that is the only plausible explanation left.

kise ryota:

you just knew this was the end with ryota.

he is the type of person who literally never stops talking and yet you watched that lively boy becoming quieter and quieter day by day

the distance growing between the two of you pricked at your skin like thorns

it was so blindingly obvious how you two were growing apart

but it was all the more heart breaking because he chose to grow distant instead of talking it out with you like two adults

he should have known better, he should have known you better.

so, one day when he left for some tournament abroad without even informing you first, you took it personally as you rightfully should.

packing up every single thing you owned in the shared apartment, you left the place too without so much as a note

you never asked for a reason, nor did you ever go back to see if he had moved on with someone new

you don’t have it in your heart to go through more hurt, not when he was the love of your life

ryota on the other hand, takes every breath to regret it.

he did fall out of love with you but he regrets that he did not set it straight with you and just let you go.

after everything that you had done for him, he should have known better.

midorima shintaro:

you are not even sure what to think with shin-tan

he is not someone who shares a lot, not even about his deepest feelings and yet, this growing apart felt too surreal

he avoided to talk with you and you could sense it clearly, painstakingly clear.

however, no matter how clear it was, you could not be sure about it either. is he growing distant or really just stressed about something?

he is certainly not someone who feels the need to clear up things with you unless you point them out to him

but this time, you did not point anything out to him

and the way shintaro let the distance grow, he took that space you gave him out of sheer pettiness and furthered the distance between you two

if you sleep out on the couch to avoid him, he just shrugged it off and slept on the bed without even so much as asking what happened or why you were behaving that way

then came his american tour and he left like you just do not co-exist with him

so you took that as your cue and left too, a note stayed stuck under the fridge magnet that read ‘i can’t do this anymore. have a good life.’

shintaro was surprised, shocked, taken aback – are you really angry at him? he thought something happened at work! he had too much pressure from the couch regarding the tour that he forgot about taking care of you

afterwards he tracked you down, apologized profusely, explained his situation and informed you like the gentle giant that he is ‘you deserve better, y/n. i am sorry i ever hurt you’

and that’s the last you ever saw of midorima shintaro.

aomine daiki:

he did it out of sheer stupidity

in the locker rooms the boys joked how he was losing focus because of you and by chance, he also got scolded by the coach that day when he missed an apparent dunk

it got too much in his head and he took it seriously. he started to distance himself from you and even though you grew visibly frustrated by his rude behaviour, he physically restrained himself from you

did he get better at his matches? he got worse now that he was in crosshairs with you

yet he kept up with it, thinking that he might become better if he perseveres.

he only got worse but at the same time, he effectively kept you away, out of his bubble to the point where you started thinking that he wanted to break up

i mean what other reason can there be for such insolence!

angry, you left even but daiki stayed true to his sport. he went on to the american tour, performed badly to the point that he had to be (forcefully) subbed out in the first quarter of the match

daiki has never felt shittier. he gave it his all, stuck to a new strategy even to get better at his craft and it betrayed him

like he had betrayed your feelings

but when he came back to japan and ran to you, it was too late.

you had left him and were hell bent on not being found by him

daiki tried and tried till he did find you one day

to this day, he keeps the address slip in his wallet right beside the passport size picture of yours that he keeps

he cannot muster up the courage to face you after treating you like that but every day, he is mustering up courage percent by percent.

murasakibara atsushi:

how could you have ever not known it with atsushi?

he is the most apathetic, emotionally distant guy to have ever walked on the face of the earth

but he was your man and you took the relationship seriously

the catch is that, he didn’t

or maybe he did but he did not take his own feelings seriously and slowly got bored

not of you but of the whole ‘relationship’ thing

he loves to be with you, loves you and everything about you but you cannot tie down atsushi

the social conventions that make sense to us, hold no value in his eyes – relationships, friendships, boyfriend-girlfriend, social life were just meaningless words to him

what does being in a relationship even mean?

it came as a no-brainer when one day he just stopped trying

he did not fall out of love nor did he fall for anyone else

he was still very much yours, he does not know how to not be yours nor does he want to attempt it

yet, he cannot bring himself to make the effort anymore to be your boyfriend

he just wants to drift through space, do what he is supposed to do and then die someday when he cannot dunk a basketball anymore

you left the relationship but you still see him some days when he shows up outside your dorm room at odd hours

you try to explain it to him that you are not together anymore, that you are seeing someone else, that he cannot keep seeing you but he just scoffs it off

he does not care. he just wants to rest awhile with his head resting on your lap and then he will leave you be again

till he barges in your life again when he needs it.

akashi seijuro:

it was very much along the lines of his personality to grow distant with you from time to time

his personality changes were volatile and he tends to push you away in a plea to not hurt you

what he does not understand is that he is hurting you by pushing you away

you don’t want to see him in pain, you want to be there for him but he won’t have any of that. he will physically push you away if need be

when you don’t listen, he yells at you, tries to scare you away

you don’t listen, you never do

or that is what sei chooses to believe

what he happily and knowingly overlooks is the fact that you are growing distant too

you don’t fight with him anymore when he tries to distance himself, you don’t even ask him these days why he always pushes you away

sei would like to think that you have accepted it but he knows better

you are not doing it out of pettiness, nor out of anger – you are genuinely distancing yourself from him, not just your physical body but also the heart that he once used to have an iron grip on

it feels so far away from him now, far away from his reach and with each passing day, it grows farther.

he was first-hand witness of how your relationship fell apart like a house of cards

and it did not help much with the fact that he caused it

just like he has ever pushed everyone away, he pushed you away, too.

the best thing that ever happened to him, the only person who cared enough to know him better and he let them go

because he is too blind to open up just a tad bit

however, regretting it doesn’t do him any good so he gets out of bed every morning, drags himself to practice and grinds tirelessly at the only thing that he has left anymore.

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

feedback is deeply appreciated.✨

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