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sirowsky · 4 years ago

Text

The Flowers Always Know

Description: When a mad scientist uses you as an experiment while you’re on holiday, the Heroics only just manage to save you. And in your recovery you become very close to the leader of the group. (Slow burn)

Rating: Mature/Explicit 18+ ONLY

Warnings: Language, smut.

Link to Masterlist

Comment: So, I’m suffering side-effects from vaccination today, and I’m kinda out of it. So this chapter might be too, I honestly can’t tell right now. Anyway, it’s all smut and fun times, so enjoy! :D

Chapter 26

Monday arrived like a freight-train, and getting up that morning turned out to be almost impossible, because Marcus had decided to pick that moment in time to be his most adorable – and most impossible self.

You’d had an active night, repeatedly waking up to find yourself wet and pining as though you’d been dreaming about sex for hours. It had happened three times during the night, and no matter how much you’d tried to just breathe and relax and calm down, it had only gotten worse, and you’d had no choice but to wake him, each time, and ask him to help you. Obviously, he was only happy to help, sleepily smiling and pulling you to him to warm himself up. The third time you’d just groaned after you woke up, and he’d started laughing when the sound woke him too.

“Seriously, hermosa, are you in heat or something?”

“I fucking hope so… This is exhausting.”

“Come here, I’ll do the work this time, you just relax.”

All of this meant that you hadn’t gotten back to any real deep sleep before the alarm went off, and you woke up feeling restless but also somehow heavy and sluggish. And then there was your beloved fiancé. You had kept him up for most of the night, and so when the alarm went off, he decided to punish you by not letting you get up. You turned the alarm off and then rolled over on your back and sighed, and suddenly he was on top of you, sleepy and warm and heavy, and utterly unmovable. He didn’t instigate anything or even speak to you, he just laid there, falling back asleep with you as his mattress.

“Marcus, don’t. Please, I’ve already got Management on my back, I don’t need to be squished from the front too.”

“Mmmm… but you’re sooo squishy…”

Even though he was practically asleep, he started hardening against you, and even though you were stressed and exhausted in equal measure, your fucking body responded as though you hadn’t been with him for months.

“I don’t have time for this, baby.”

That seemed to wake him up, and he ground himself hard against your mound, eliciting several involuntary whimpers from you. Yes, whimpers. You were that fucking desperate.

“But what if this makes a baby?”

The words sent tendrils of pleasure through your nerves, and your inside walls were suddenly quaking. He could feel you react, so he pressed himself inside, and you gasped and clutched him to you as hard as your arms and legs would allow you.

“What if you really are in some kind of heat, and this is the perfect time.”

Your limbs were shaking, trying to hold him even tighter to you, needing him as though he was oxygen and you were drowning.

“You don’t wanna waste it, do you?”

Your power shot out, hard and short, and you were just able to direct it down underneath you, shattering the legs of the bed and probably the frame too. But you hardly even noticed as Marcus ignored it and drove into you faster and deeper, making you come with more than one loud moan, before he followed.

“Fuck… See what you did?”

“Oh, no, you broke the bed all by yourself, sweetheart.”

“Because you took me to fucking fairyland!”

“I did what, now?”

“Oh, never mind, get off me, I need to get in the shower.”

“Ask nicely.”

“Hmpf. Or what?”

“Or I’ll lick you all the way back to fucking fairyland.”

Oh, yes, please…

Wait. NO! You do not have time for that.

“Please, my darling fiancé, will you let me get off this bed now?”

He grinned from ear to ear hearing you call him that for the first time, like you knew he would. Then he kissed you, slipped out of you, jumped off the bed and sprinted into the bathroom, giggling like a little kid.

“Don’t you dare steal that shower from me, Moreno!!”

“You’re welcome to join me, preciosa.”

“No! I am not gonna join you, you’re gonna get out and let me get ready.”

You’d scrambled out of the remnants of the bed and reached the bathroom by then, and sure enough, he already had the water going in there. It hadn’t warmed up yet, and as soon as you stepped over the threshold, he aimed the nozzle of the detachable showerhead at you, drenching your naked body in cold water. You didn’t scream, but you did lose your breath with the shock of the sensation. But thankfully, you’d done the Ice-Bucket challenge when it came around a few years earlier, so you recognised your reaction and quickly regained your senses. And when you got your breath back – you were fuming. Your ghost hands found his waist, and you watched him go from amused to surprised to disbelieving, when, in pure frustration, you lifted him clean off of the floor and moved him out of the shower stall. You walked past him while he was still levitating and stepped into the now warm shower spray, before dropping him by the door. And since he was unprepared for the rough landing, he lost balance and fell over.

“Well, damn, famb… I didn’t know you could do that.”

“Apparently I can, so stop fucking with me and let me get ready for work.”

“Hey, to be fair – you’re the one that’s been fucking with me all night – I’m just returning the favour.”

“Okay. Let me rephrase that: stop being an asshole!”

“Only if you promise to let me bug you at work today.”

“What? No, that is the opposite of what I need right now.”

“Fine. Then I’ll just keep being a dick instead.”

“Oh my god, what has gotten into you today? You’re worse than a three-year-old.”

He didn’t answer, but you could hear him starting on his morning trimming, whistling a little while he worked and waited.

“Argh… Fine. You can bug me, but no more than once every two hours.”

“No deal.”

“Marcus…”

You sighed. This was just gonna be one of those days.”

“Okay, I yield. But – fair warning: I will use my powers to force you to stay in line, if I have to.”

“Understood.”

You half-ran into the kitchen 15 minutes later, to find Missy putting the finishing touches to a cup of tea, before handing it to you.

“Oh, you really are an Angel! Thank you so much, sweetie.”

“I figured you’d need an assist this morning after what I heard from your bedroom earlier.”

You froze, and your cheeks flushed when you remembered, not just the bed, but your own noisiness.

“I am so sorry… I was a little… out of control, this morning.”

“In a good way, or bad?”

“Hard to say, really.”

“But, you guys are okay, right?”

“Yeah. Physically…”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning I’m not the only one having a weird day today.”

A minute later, Marcus bounced into the kitchen, and immediately stole the piece of toast you’d just finished for yourself and was in the process of carrying to the table. And without so much as a glance at you, he chewed down more than half of it in a single bite, while reaching for a cup to get himself some coffee. You stared at him with your mouth hanging open.

“Did you just steal food from me?”

“Excellent toast, love. Really good.”

With a surprisingly controlled burst, you shattered his cup, and then the entire coffeemaker. He just stared at the mess of coffee and broken china on the floor, and then he looked up at you, looking mockingly shocked.

“Great, now you have to get me a new coffeemaker.”

“Like hell I do. Get your own coffeemaker, ass-hat.”

“Okay, calm down, it was just a piece of toast.”

Glaring at him, you reached into one of the cabinets and pulled out a handful of supplement bars, chucking all but one into your handbag, and headed for the front door.

“Have a nice day, Missy.”

Marcus called after you.

“Hey, wait, what are you…”

“Marcus, I have seven weeks-worth of work to try and catch up on today, did you really think that this was the day to fuck with my breakfast? The one meal I might actually have had time for. I can’t deal with you and your weird mood right now, so I’m gonna drive myself to work and hope to god that no one decides to point out how fucking late I am on my first day back, because if they do – I might actually explode!”

You left the house and ripped the wrapper off the bar and started eating it on your way to the car.

You didn’t hear Missy and Marcus’ continued conversation as you set off for work.

“Dad, what’s wrong with you, she’s really stressed right now, why are you making it worse?”

“I’m just feeling mischievous today. Besides, if there’s one thing she needs when she’s stressed – it’s distractions.”

“Ooh… Was that what happened earlier too? Cause it sounded like you broke the bed, which seems a little extreme for a distraction.”

Marcus rubbed the back of his neck a little awkwardly. He couldn’t understand how you were so comfortable talking to Missy so openly about this stuff, or how you managed to actually talk to her about it, without really telling her any details.

“Uh… that was just, a bit of an overload. She seems to be in some sort of… hormonal state right now.”

“How do you mean?”

“I mean like… animals get sometimes. You know… certain times of the year.”

“Almas in heat?! Humans can’t do that.”

“Normally, no. But we’re not exactly normal.”

“Speak for yourself, weirdo.”

“Hey!”

“I’ll race you to the car!”

She shouted the dare while she was getting up, and grabbing her bag, and as she headed for the door, Marcus shouted after her while he grabbed his things and tried to keep up with her.

“I can move the car, you know!”

“That’s cheating!”

“So is jumping the start line!”

“Hah, try and keep up, old man!”

You weren’t even settled into your office before Marcus appeared on your threshold. You’d had to make several stops on the way there, to talk to people and get updated on active projects, and as you stepped in, you realised that the woman that had filled in for you while you were gone was a total slob. She’d left fast-food wrappers everywhere, and the two wastebins in the office were beyond overfilled, there was at least as much junk around them as there was inside them. You’d just finished clearing all the crap into a large black garbage bag, when you heard him whistle.

“Someone’s about to get an earful, I hope.”

“More than one.”

“Oh, then I’m staying.”

He plopped down on the sofa, leaning back and making himself comfortable.

“I do love it when you pull out that nasty side that makes people quiver.”

“I’ll happily make you quiver.”

“Really?”

“Oh, yeah. All the way through the floor.”

He chuckled, and burrowed himself deeper into the soft cushions.

“I might just sit here all day and just watch you.”

You talked to him a bit on autopilot, focusing more on trying to bring some kind of order to the giant pile of papers on your desk.

“No, you won’t. You have a mission today.”

“What? Since when?”

“Since Miracle accidentally killed a kitten belonging to the daughter of some rich-ass Sheik, whom of course demanded an apology, which Miracle obviously refused, causing a full-blown conflict that you’re now gonna have to solve.”

“I swear one of these days, I’m gonna accidentally send him into deep space on a ship without re-entry capacity.”

“Have a nice day, honey.”

He was on his feet and heading for the door when he shot back over his shoulder.

“Don’t worry, I’ll still find time to bug you, conflict be damned.”

You didn’t see him for a few hours after that, and you’d thought you’d feel relieved being able to focus on your work. But his absence turned out to be just as annoying as his presence. You found yourself constantly eyeing the door, hoping he’d pop his head in so you could ask him to relieve the burning ache that had begun to migrate from your core and into your thighs and even your back. It was getting to the point where you were seriously considering going online and purchasing a wand from a store that offered instant delivery, just so you could stick it in there while you were forced to sit, to give your god damned endlessly pulsing walls something to clench over. Just as you were about to give up and go find that instant-delivery page, there was a knock on the door. Marcus didn’t knock, so it wasn’t him.

“Come in.”

“Hey. You got a minute?”

It was William, your not-assistant, who still helped you whenever you asked, just because he was that kind of guy. He was a couple of years younger than you, and fit. The kind of fit that all guys wished they were. Not huge, not too noticeable, especially not under the immaculate suits he wore, but it was there. If you hugged him, you could trace the contours on his back. Not that you had. He was handsome, attractive, but so not your type. You’d never even considered it. And it was quite the testament to your physical compatibility with Marcus, that even now, when you felt like you could sit down on a fucking cactus, you still didn’t even consider it. It was Marcus you needed. Always. But right now, more than fucking air.

“Sure, Will, what’s on your mind.”

“You asked me to look into that toy-factory that burned down a couple years ago. Well I did, and it turns out that the owner abandoned the lease, so the property is actually unclaimed right now.”

You tried to listen, you really, really did, but your core chose that moment to decide that it just had enough. William was on the opposite side of the desk, but when you doubled over and laid your forehead down on top of it and groaned, he came around to check on you.

“Are you okay, what can I do?”

“Ma—Marcus… I need Marcus…aargh.”

You reached for your phone to call him, but your hands were shaking, and you dropped it on the floor, in front of your feet. Ever the helpful, William kneeled down to get it just as another loud groan escaped you, and of course – that was the moment that Marcus decided to step in. The look in his eyes when poor William appeared from under the desk, with you panting and groaning behind him, could have killed a man twice his size.

“I swear… I was just reaching for her phone! She wanted to call you, but she dropped it, I didn’t touch her! I would never… Mr. Moreno, I wouldn’t…”

“Get out.”

“Marcus… he didn’t…”

“I know. But he doesn’t get to stay for what happens next.”

William ran from the room, politely closing the door behind him, and Marcus locked it, before coming over to you.

“I would never…”

“Shh. I know, hermosa. Now let me take care of you.”

“Oh, please… I’m burning…”

He picked you up from the chair and helped you stand while he undressed you, and then he sat you down on the desk to do the same with himself. Then he grabbed your legs and hoisted them up over his hips while he positioned himself at your entrance. His tongue dove into your mouth at the same time that his cock began to dig through the thick pulsing membranes inside you. And it was such a relief. Your head fell back and your torso collapsed onto the top of the desk, as every cell in your body was suddenly right again. He held onto your hips as he worked his way inside, inch by inch, feeling you relax the further he got.

“What are you made of, mi amor? To be capable of such need, and such pleasure..”

Once he was filling you, he let go of your hips and leaned down to wrap his arms around you, knowing you needed to feel as much of him as possible, even if you were too lost in sensations to ask him right now. He moved with force, but not brutality, staying deep, letting you have exactly what he knew you needed, until you unravelled over him. But he managed to hold himself back, for the first time with you. And stayed still while you recovered, kissing you passionately and mumbling things in Spanish you’d never heard from him before. As soon as your breathing had calmed, he started moving again, and that was all it took. The heat rushed right back, and this time, it came with a fresh rush of energy, that had your legs curling around his back and your hands clawing at his shoulders, demanding more. And he obliged. You were so tightly clung to him, that when he stood up from the desk, he wouldn’t even have needed to keep holding you, but he did. He turned around and shoved your back against the wall, and his energy shifted, craving more too. He drove into you with more ferocity, but still somehow without that brutality that you’d felt from other lovers. His need was driven by love, more than physicality, and his body responded accordingly. It made you love him even more, if that was even possible. You were already closing in again, and he wanted to come with you this time, but he also wanted it to last longer. So, he shot a current at you, but you were so oversensitive that all it did was enhance everything you were already feeling by the double, and you screamed. You actually screamed out your orgasm while your body rocked relentlessly against him, and he did come with you, his hands digging into your hips as he tried to hold you to him while you squirmed with the force of your release.

“Hermosa?”

He was panting like he’d just run a sprint. And you were panting like you’d run a marathon.

“Yeah…”

“If this is gonna be a recurring thing… we’re gonna need to rethink our office furnishings.”

“And sound-proofing. Shit… I can already se the stack of complaints.”

“Fuck ‘em. You wanna scream, you scream. Let the whole damned world hear how good you feel.”

“I’m sorry honey, but I really hope this isn’t a recurring thing.”

“Why?”

“Because if it is… and you happen to be out of town when it hits… I might actually die. And I’m not even exaggerating. That was unbearable.”

“We’ll figure it out, either way. Do you feel better now?”

“Yes… and no.”

“No?”

Right on cue, the bear woke up.

“Yeah… what she said.”

He laughed and kissed you.

“God, I love you, woman. Bears and all.”

“Just get me to the restaurant. Greg and I have an arrangement.”

“Roger that.”

“Oh, and darling? Please apologise to William. You went full Cujo there for a moment, and I think you really scared him.”

“Cujo? You compare me to a damned dog?”

“Amaire can explain it to you. I’m too tired right now.”

“The Wonder-Twins call me Cujo, too?! What is this?”

“Marcus! Food. Now…”

Authors’ Note: I love criticism, don’t be shy to let me know if there’s anything you like/don’t like/have questions about.

@blueeyesatnight @farfromjustordinary @allmyspideys @hrk-fic-recs @strawberryperegrine @lucrezia-thoughts @computeringturtle @sarahjkl82-blog

#marcus moreno #marcus moreno x reader #marcus moreno fic #we can be heroes #we can be heroes fic #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal characters

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number-one-micoverse-fan · 4 years ago

Text

Everybody Knows That Dom Has Depression Except For Dom

It’s what it says on the tin, fellas.

----------

“And I have a couple of pre-made meals for you too!” Miranda heaves a giant refrigerated bag onto the table, beaming at Dom as she rips open the velcro and starts pulling out stacks of tupperware containers.

“Pre-made…?” Dom ventures, watching with growing wonderment as the stack of containers continues to grow. That bag must be bigger on the inside.

“Yeah, meals that are already cooked up and ready to go,” Miranda explains, finally setting the bag aside and walking around to open the fridge. There’s plenty of room inside for the castle of tupperware, “So you can just pull one out, stick it in the microwave, and you’re all set! It’ll be great for those days when you’re too tired or worked too late to make something.”

Dom blinks, considers, makes a soft noise of agreement. He absently hands containers to Miranda as she fills his refrigerator. He’s trying to figure out why someone would spend this much time on him. The only conclusion he manages to come to is that he definitely needs to find a way to pay Miranda back for her generosity.

He doesn’t deserve this kind of attention.

*******

“I—I’m so sorry about this!” Dom is scurrying around the house in the pre-dawn gloom, lit only by the sodium yellow burn of the streetlights through the window and the dim light over the kitchen sink. He’s flustered and tired, his tie undone around his neck, his shirt half tucked in, and his hair a mess.

“It’s fine,” Jake is hovering in the doorway to Dom’s kitchen, his hands wrapped around a thermos of of coffee. His expression is sympathetic, if a little strained, “Seriously, it’s not a big deal.”

“I know, I know,” Dom says in a stag whisper, struggling to do up his tie and tuck in his shirt at the same time, harried and fretting and continuously glancing towards the stairs to the second floor of the house, “B-but it’s just—it’s so early and—“

“I was already up anyway.”

“—you have Milo—“

“Dan’s still at the house for him.”

“—this meeting was so last minute—“

“Employers can be jerks.”

“—but Cody—“

“Dom.”

“—I didn’t want him to wake up alone—“

“Dom!” Jake snatches at Dominic’s shoulder, stopping the other man in his tracks. Dom’s eyes are wide and worried, heavy with exhaustion and stress. Jake gives his best comforting smile, changing his grip to a gentle pat,

“It’s okay. Honestly. I’m happy to help. You’re a—a friend. And you’d do the same for Milo, yeah?”

Dom swallows, takes a deep breath and smooths the front of his shirt down, “Yeah. Of course. Thanks Jake.”

“Anytime.”

*********

Cody flops onto the couch next to his dad and offers him a bowl of popcorn.

Dom takes it hesitantly, his brow furrowed, “I thought you were going to spend time with Milo…”

“He needs to do homework,” Cody says, settling into his spot. The light from the television reflects off his glasses, “And I wanna hang out with my cool dad!” He beams up at his dad, honest happiness on his face, “What’re we watchin’?”

“O-oh, um…” The hollowed out cavern in Dom’s chest is suddenly flooding with warmth and it makes a wobbly smile spread slowly across his face, “I…I dunno, actually, I just…had the TV on. Was there something you wanted to watch?”

“Mmmm, not really. Maybe we should channel surf until we find something good!”

“Okay…”

Dom flips through some channels rather absently, asking Cody about his day, about homework, about the MiCo channel. Cody happily rambles at him about everything and Dom listens, questions, smiles until his smile can’t get any bigger. He’s not really paying attention to the television, watching Cody talk and gesture animatedly about his latest attempt at catching proof of ghosts. The teen is lit up, literally and figuratively, glowing in the blue-white of the screen, smile flashing in the shadows, hands directing his words, a conductor of his own story.

“—so the audio should be finished by—ooh! Wait go back! Go back!”

The remote almost falls out of Dom’s hands as he fumbles to change the channel again. The sports cast flickers to something softer; a crowd of people milling about or standing in lines in a large indoor area. There are tables and booths set up in the background, but the foreground is dominated by a table at which sit a middle-aged woman and an older man in a tweed jacket. On the table between them is an intricately designed lamp with a garish shade made of bright glass and brass swirls. The man in the tweed jacket is indicating areas of the lamp with a pen and talking about the authenticity of the item in a low rumble of a voice.

“The…Antique Roadshow?” Dom questions, glancing at Cody.

“Yeah! It’s kind of cool to see what historical stuff shows up and to learn the history of it,” Cody says, “Also, sometimes, me and Milo would play this game where we would guess if something is haunted or not and then try and decide what kinda ghost is doing the haunting. He gets bored of it real quick though.”

“Hm…” Dom looks back at the—frankly hideous—lamp on the screen, “Well, uh, I don’t know a lot about ghosts but…if there was a ghost haunting that thing, it would probably be someone really annoying with no taste.”

Cody laughs, “I think I would feel bad for anyone who was stuck haunting that! It’s ugly!”

Dom finds himself chuckling along with him, “A, uh, I think the word is…ostentatious?”

They both laugh.

They’re still laughing an hour or so later, when the popcorn bowls are empty and it’s gone dark outside. Cody has tucked himself against Dom’s side, Dom’s arm around his shoulders, holding him close.

The cold, bitter hole that had been chewing him up on the inside is long gone. It’s nothing but tenderness and warmth and little rays of sunshine. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, Dom knows it will come back. But it’s gone, for now. And he’s warm.

He’s happy.

*********

“Ah! Here! Lemme help with that!” A burly arm sweeps out of nowhere and scoops some of grocery bags from Dom’s struggling grip. Most of the grocery bags, really.

“Thanks…” Dom breathes, sending an uneven smile up at Dan, “Sorry about the trouble…”

“Not trouble at all!” Dan’s own smile is wide and bright and honest, his stride confident and comfortable as he follows Dom to the front door, “I was just coming home and you looked like you needed some help. And it never hurts to help.”

Dom only hums in response, holding open the door to let Dan sidle past and set the groceries down in the kitchen. The house is quiet—Cody’s out, probably getting into trouble with Milo—and Dom feels selfish for enjoying the peace of it. He’s exhausted, drained, his entire body feels heavy and his thoughts are muddy. He sinks into a chair at the kitchen table and rubs his eyes. He still has to put away the groceries and make some dinner and he should probably shower and maybe he should fold those clean clothes he hasn’t touched in a week and when’s the last time he vacuumed and—

“Long day?” Dan’s voice cuts through the deluge of thoughts threatening to drown him. Dom sighs into his hands, can only nod in response because even talking feels like it would take too much energy, “Sorry you had a rough day, buddy. But, hey, lookit that! You still went and bought groceries and you’re home now! So you can relax, just a for a bit. Take a breather, Dom, you look like you need it.”

His fingers tangle in his hair as Dom raises his head to explain that while he appreciates Dan’s advice, he really doesn’t have time to sit about and daydream. But he finds himself struck a bit speechless because Dan has put all the groceries away while Dom’s just been sitting on his ass feeling sorry for himself. It doesn’t shock him that Dan knows where everything goes, just that Dan would even take the time to do it. Dom could have done it, he’d just needed a minute.

Dan’s still smiling as he folds up the paper bags and stows them in the pantry, “Oh yeah, almost forgot—would you and Cody like to join us for dinner tonight?” He straightens up, hands on his hips, a life preserver to a man floundering in a sea of responsibilities and fears, “I’m making lasagna and I always make way too much of it. And it’s been a while since we’ve had dinner together.”

The relief that makes the burdens of the day slough off his shoulders makes Dom feel like he could float away. It buzzes in his chest, louder than the nasty little voice that says he’s lazy or that he’s taking advantage of Dan’s good nature.

“Thanks, I…I’d like that…”

********

Miranda hands him a small stack of thick, hardcover books. They’re a little banged up and well loved, the spines soft and their corner dented, but they’re well cared for all the same. Dom cycles through them—there’s four of them and all of them are about woodworking of various degrees. He glances up at her, half from confusion and half from wondering if she’s trying to say something.

She’s twirling a strand of her hair around her finger, something he recognizes as a bit of a nervous habit, a twinge of uncertainty, “A coworker had a bunch of old books they were getting rid of. Brought in a couple of milk crates worth of them. I know you like working with your hands and—and building stuff, that kind of thing. So I thought I’d…snag them for you.” Her face is a delicate shade of pink and she keeps glancing at him from under her lashes.

Dom looks from her to the books. He opens the top book to a random page, skims a description of re-scaling an existing design to make a miniature version of it. He might have gotten caught up in it completely if he hadn’t been hyper away of Miranda standing in front of him.

He lets the book fall closed and smiles at her. That pleasantly warm feeling is curling in his chest again, pooling wonderfully in his stomach until his cheeks flush,

“These are—they’re awesome. Wonderful, Mira. I love them. Thank you.”

Miranda’s smiles explodes and she throws her arms around him. Her lips touch the corner of his mouth and Dom feels soda bubbles burst inside him like fireworks.

*********

Something a little like frustrated panic clutches tightly at Dom’s throat when he hears a knock on the front door.

It still feels like its on the verge of choking him when he opens the door and finds Milo standing there with a folder clutched to his chest.

“Hi, um, I know Cody’s sick but I brought his homework from school so if he feels kinda better sometime he won’t get behind in class.” Milo is unusually subdued, no doubt missing his usual partner in crime and as equally worried about Cody as Dom is.

“Thank you, Milo, that’s very kind of you.” Dom runs a hand through his hair, realizes it’s shaking and quickly takes the offered folder from Milo before the teenager can notice.

Milo rocks back on his heels, glances from Dom to the house behind him and then back to Dom, “Um. Dom—um—Mister Bridges—uh, I know—um. That is, uh…” He fidgets, fumbles, wrinkling his nose as he searches for the right words and Dom is more than prepared to tell him that no, he cannot see Cody, Jake would hang him for it if he did, when Milo blurts out,

“Do you need help with anything?”

“You ca—I…I’m sorry, what?”

Milo’s ears are red, “I, uh, d-do you need any help? With anything?” He’s tugging absently on his hoodie strings, self conscious and still rocking back and forth on his heels, “You’re probably—well I know—um. Shoot. Y-you’re taking care of Cody so I wanted…to ask…if there’s was anything…you needed help with…”

Dom hesitates, wants to tell Milo to just go home because he’s a teenager and he’s been in school all day and he deserves to enjoy his youth. But Milo’s expression is so earnest and he certainly looks like he’s been worrying and fretting all day. Dom wants to think that maybe Jake or Dan put him up to this but Milo’s still got his school bag slung over his shoulder which means he hasn’t even been home himself yet. Dom can’t fight the soft and gentle smile that appears on his face,

“Go ask your dads if they’re okay with it first. Then maybe you can help me tackle these dishes, okay?”

Milo brightens instantly, “Okay!” And he scurries off to burst into the house next door.

To be honest, Dom doesn’t expect him to come back. But he does, full of energy and ready to go. He’s a bit infectious and soon Dom finds himself caught up in the whirlwind that is Milo Junior. Dom spends his time flitting up and down the stairs between Cody’s room and the kitchen and by the time he’s gotten some food in his son and coaxed him to go back to sleep, Milo has washed and put away all the dirty dishes in the sink.

“Shhh! Don’t tell Jake I know how to load a dishwasher!” Milo hisses in a loud whisper as he shoves Dom’s dishwasher closed with a clunk, “I’ve been doing it bad on purpose so he stopped asking me!”

Dom laughs. It feels bright and hot and brilliant inside him, spilling liquid honey up his throat,

“Your secret’s safe with me.”

********

Miranda’s humming something, her fingers carding lazily through Dom’s hair. Her other hand is draped over his chest, their fingers woven together, puzzle pieces that click together perfectly. Dom’s free hand is resting at the base of his throat, his thumb idly rubbing against the edge of the top button on his shirt. He has his head on her lap, his eyes heavy and lidded and unfocused. In this moment, he simply is. He is safe and comfortable and the warm gentleness of the whole thing has him floating on a delicate cloud of candy floss and downy feathers, lethargically sinking into a hot bath of love, attention, and affection.

More out of habit than anything else, Dom glances at the clock on the television stand. It takes his tired brain a moment to process the time, but once it does, he jolts into alertness,

“Dinner! We—we gotta get ready if we’re gonna make it!”

He goes to get up, already dreading the notion of being out in public where people can see him and judge him and make their assumptions, where he has to communicate with those who don’t understand him, where out there will never be as safe as in here. It makes his stomach clench and his appetite sink rapidly into a tar pit of nausea.

“Wait.”

Miranda presses a hand to his shoulder, steers him to lay back down in her lap. Dom holds her wrist, brow furrowed,

“Mira, our dinner…”

“Let’s just…stay in.” She says in a low voice, leaning over him. Her golden hair frames her face in the lamplight, curtaining them both off from the rest of the world, “We can order some pizza or something, I don’t mind. I’d like it to just…be you and me.” She leans closer and the heat rises in Dom’s face, “Just the two of us,” She’s a breath away and Dom can smell peppermint and lilacs and just a hint of that clean, slightly chemical scent that follows a doctor everywhere,

“Together.”

If they kiss, no one would be able to see it past the golden cascades of Miranda’s hair.

Her hand stays in Dom’s and he forgets about how relieved he is that they’re staying home because he’s too busy falling in love with her all over again.

********

Cody sets a glass of water down in front of Dom, smiles when Dom looks up at him with a question on his face.

“I was getting one for myself so I got one for you too,” Cody says with a shrug, “You looked thirsty!”

It’s not until Dom takes a drink that he realizes how parched he is.

It also strikes him that he hasn’t gotten up from the table in several hours. His joints pop and groan in protest when he stands up.

The numbers and words on the bills in front of him were blurring into obscurity anyway. He’s going to check on what Cody’s up to instead.

The bills are long forgotten as he spends the rest of the day watching his son play video games, simply enjoying the enthusiastic company.

********

Dom pushes his safety glasses to the top of his head and gives up starring at the miter saw with a heavy sigh. He’s not going to be getting anything done today.

He wanders to the front of his garage and sinks down onto the pile of lumber by the open door facing the street, peeling his work gloves off his hands and dropping them onto the wood beside him. He feels heavy, like something’s pushing down on him, crushing him slowly into the dirt. All the plans he’d made for the day feel pointless and empty.

He feels pointless and empty.

And stupid.

He’s staring an infinite black hole into the pavement between his peeling sneakers when someone’s approaching footsteps make him raise his head. It feels like lifting a thousand ton weight.

Jake is standing a few feet away, hands in the pockets of his slim jeans, his button up open to show a faded band t-shirt underneath. His expression is carefully blank but he’s chewing on his bottom lip in a manner that suggests there’s a thousand thoughts going through his head.

“Hi,” Says Dom and his voice sounds flat and lifeless and it makes his throat close up.

“Hey,” Jake nods, shifts his weight awkwardly, “Mind if I, uh, take a seat?”

Dom pats the lumber next to him and Jake eases down, glancing at the wood as if checking for splinters. His hands leave his pockets and his fingers get tangled in each other, twisting in and out and over as he fidgets. Dom can see the movement out of the corner of his eye but it’s much easier to keep staring at the sun bleached pavement.

“Thought I would have heard your power tools going by now.” Jake says in a somewhat forced conversational manner. Dom shrugs, makes a noncommittal noise. Jake sighs, takes a deep breath, lets it out again, finally says in a stern voice,

“Dom. You have depression.”

That startles him out of his stupor enough to turn and look at Jake, “What? What, no. I don’t.”

Jake frowns, not in disappointment, in something like solidarity and determination, “Yes, you do.”

“No, I—“

“Dominic, I literally have depression. I know what I’m talking about.” When Dom opens his mouth to protest further, Jake cuts him off,

“You feel tired almost all the time, even when you’ve gotten enough sleep. Sometimes you don’t sleep at all and sometimes that’s all you do. You either eat too much or you don’t eat at all or you eat just enough to keep going, even when you feel nauseous at the idea of food. You get frustrated with yourself because you can’t do what you want, you feel like you never have enough energy, and you blame everything on yourself.” Jake’s talking faster now, words spilling out, a floodgate of awful truths and buried thoughts cascading out in an awful tidal wave that’s black as pitch, “You feel like everything is your fault and nothing will ever be okay ever again and you’re going to be stuck in this hellish tar pit for the rest of your life! Because there isn’t anything better! There’s nothing outside the tar pit and you’d rather let yourself sink to the bottom and drown there than try to struggle anymore because you’re tried and you’re hurt and no one can ever understand how hard it is to live like this! And even though you hate yourself for giving up you just can’t do it anymore!”

The words break off into a ringing silence.

Jake is trembling slightly, shivering in the summer heat, because it feels so damn cold all of a sudden. His eyes are bright and hard but there are tears clinging to the corners and his jaw in clenched and his gaze pins Dom to the spot with accusation and something like desperation. And maybe not a hint of fear. Dom wants to look away, to shake his head, to tell Jake he’s got it wrong. But, god, he can’t.

Not when Jake’s dropped his guard like this.

To his eternal shame, Dom’s eyes get hot and his lower lip trembles. He drops his face into his hands with a muffled curse, trying to push it all back down, trying to bury it all back where it belongs deep inside him where it can’t bother anyone else.

“Dom, please…” Jake’s hand is on his shoulder, squeezing, grounding, reassuring, “I’ve…I didn’t want to say anything, I really didn’t because—I know it’s such a hard thing—personal. And I wouldn’t have said—I would have left this alone if I thought you were…” He trails off, steels himself, takes a shaky breath,

“Cody came to talk to me.”

Dom looks up at him, can’t decide if he’s horrified or in despair or hurt. Jake looks apologetic, his expression crinkling up and his hands shaking, holding himself steady despite the lingering threads of fear tugging at him to run from the situation.

“Cody?” Dom croaks, hates that he sounds so damaged, hates that it’s another thing to prove Jake right, “Is he—“

“Cody’s fine, this was a while ago.” Jake’s gaze darts away, comes back, drops to his knees, looks up at Dom again, “I just…wasn’t sure how to approach you about it.” A weird, slightly manic and cynical chuckle rattles out of his lungs, “I guess now’s a good a time as any.” Seriousness falls back into place, a door clicking shut but the key still in the lock,

“He approached me because…because he knows you’re hurting. Dom, he came up to me and he was trying hard not to cry and he told me “I think my dad’s sick and he won’t get help”.”

Dom thinks his heart shatters into a million pieces when he hears those words. His shaking hands fist into the front of his paint-stained shirt and he makes a choked off noise that desperately wants to be a sob, but Dom refuses to let it be.

Jake expression is desperate, begging, pleading for Dom to understand, “He knows something’s wrong and he wants to know how to help you. I know this probably isn’t something you want to hear, that it’s—it’s such an impossible thing to try and process but, Dom, he’s just a kid and he knows that you’re not doing okay.”

And Dominic Bridges finally breaks.

Right there, on a pile of lumber in his garage, talking to his neighbor, he puts his face in his hands and he cries.

Because he knows Jake is right.

And it kills him.

********

“It’s okay, I’ll be right out here for you,” Miranda says quietly, squeezing Dominic’s hand in her own, “I’m really proud of you for doing this.”

Dom is shaking in his seat, his leg bouncing insistently, cold sweat sticking to the back of his shirt. His mouth is dry and every time he swallows that just seems to make it worse. He feels like his voice is stuck somewhere in the vicinity of his shoes and he wants so badly to trample it as he runs out the building.

But there’s a fee for canceling appointments after 24 hours and Miranda has taken the time to come with him and she’d be so disappointed and—

—and Dom actually wants to try.

So when the therapist steps into the waiting room and calls his name, he takes a deep breath and stands up. His legs are jelly and he thinks he might pass out and some part of him is screaming that this is a waste of his time and money and he shouldn’t be here. But when he glances over his shoulder at Miranda before he walks through the door, she gives him a huge smile and makes a little heart with her hands.

And Dom thinks that maybe, just this one time, he can try and do something for himself for a change.

#-dabs in clinical depression-#whoa sage wrote something that's not angst and horror! surprise!#dominic #fan fiction

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foxtophat · 4 years ago

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MERRY CHRISTMAS IN JANUARY EVERYONE yeah i know ~nothing is fixed~ but whatever, fuck you, have some fanfic

so anyway i’ve been planning this for a while, i’m kinda shocked tho b/c i finished writing it in like less than 3 days??? (aside from editing) usually it takes me longer to at least figure out how to wrap things up, but at least this one was easy money. i’m sure none of the other ones will be so kind to me

this one takes place a month or so after the last one; it’s set in spring 2028 (omfg finally on a new year!!!!) and it has a little something to do with carmina finally getting some chickens!!!! one thing about new dawn that i think was really lacking is the explanation of how life... restarted before the highwaymen. i definitely remember a few houses having chicken coops, too, so i know i’m not crazy putting these feathered friends in. to me, chickens are the most sensible post-apocalyptic pet outside of a dog; easy to care for, provide food while alive AND after death, and they can reproduce easily enough if you’ve got a rooster on hand. i can imagine a family making quite a life for themselves as a poultry farm in the apocalypse!

ugh idk what else to say so i’ll just say it: thank you so much for all of your comments and kudos on this series. i am so stoked to know that my self-indulgent trash is delicious to more than just my possum ass! i’ve had a lot of fun worldbuilding in ubisoft’s playground, and i hope to continue doing more fun stuff that other people will enjoy too!!!

with all that said, i hope you enjoy the fic :) i’ll put it below the cut for you if you don’t wanna leave tumblr, but ao3 looks so much better. anyway, thank you and have a great jan 20th!!!!

Winter melts away the same way it does every year, leaving in its path wet dirt and green buds of spring growth. John, nursing what's likely the last cup of coffee they can wring from this batch of grounds, stares out over the back yard and idly marvels at how quickly the snow had disappeared. Montana had been his first experience with white winters; even though he's gotten used to the changing seasons in theory, though, he can't help but be distracted by it year after year.

Across the yard, situated just in sight by the hangar, John can plainly see Carmina's new chickens looking for breakfast. They're the newest addition to the homestead, but so far John has only had to watch from afar as the Ryes worked to adjust them to their new home. He's not sure who's raising chickens out here, but at least they were willing to barter. Fresh eggs are going to mean a lot more than the dwindling supplies out of Jacob's cache.

The misty-gray of early morning has almost evaporated in the rising sunlight, and still the chickens haven't been fed. John watches them from where he stands, their frustration leading to subdued crows as they scratch at the dirt. He doesn't know who's noisier — them, or Nick and Kim arguing at the table behind him. Thank Christ the wet end of winter is over; John doesn't think he can tolerate much more of their married nagging. On some level, he's glad they don't make a habit of yelling at him instead of each other, but Jesus, he can't wait for them to both get some space from one another.

"This is why we said we weren't gonna do pets, remember?" Nick says. "Because if she got a pet, we would end up taking care of it. Remember?"

"Yes, Nick, I remember."

"Yeah, and here we are!"

Kim sighs. John doesn't have to look to see the exasperated eye-roll that comes with it. "It wasn't me who kept her up late last night! Which one of us was egging her on when she should have been asleep?"

This is exactly why John has never owned a pet. They're more trouble than they're worth, and the only thing they seem to be good for is teaching shitty life lessons to kids who don't care enough to learn. The only good thing about the chickens is that they provide something in return other than obnoxious crowing.

Carmina thumps around upstairs. John isn't looking forward to having to listen to Kim lecture her on responsibility, but he's not thrilled to listen to much more of this bickering, either. If his choices are to stay inside and fester or go out into the first nice day of the year — well, that's not much of a choice, is it?

"Fine," John sighs before either of the Ryes can set their sights on him, "I'll do it."

"Nobody's asking you to do it," Kim replies. "It's Carmina's responsibility."

John shakes his head. "Of course it is. Where's the feed?"

Nick points out a white plastic container sitting on the pass-through to the kitchen. "Not gonna wait for us to boss you around?" he asks.

John picks up the container and rattles it to make sure it's full. "I'm streamlining the process," he replies. "Unless you enjoy giving me orders."

Sure enough, implying Nick might like being a bossy piece of shit is enough to get him to shut up. He sighs with a deep frown at John, who ignores him as he heads out to the coop. It's a petty satisfaction to take the rug out from under Nick's feet, but John's not above it. Not by a long shot.

Some of it might be compensating for the disintegrating peace that had come with winter. Before the blizzard set in, they'd had enough on their collective plates as they prepared for the worst of the season. Afterward, the snow had prevented them from doing much more than what was necessary to survive, and the resulting downtime had settled like a comfortable blanket. Even now, with a few weeks of grating interpersonal interactions, John feels more focused, more rested than he can ever remember feeling. Living underground for eight years, he'd naively thought that he'd gotten enough rest to last him a lifetime — but he'd been strung out on Bliss and trying not to suffocate, and he hadn't known what he was doing. He's starting to suspect that the Bliss might've had a worse effect on him than the myriad other drugs he'd ingested. Hell, he's not sure he's clean even now — but he's managing, and that's what matters.

It's only once he's halfway across the yard that John realizes Kim forgot to argue about him going off on his own. Sure, he's only going as far as the hangar, but it's become something of a pleasantry she uses whenever John pretends to have the freedom to go where he pleases. Her irritation at Carmina and Nick probably made her forget. She's gotten so used to trusting John that she's finally found other things to take up her attention.

Weirdly enough, the casual disregard for his potential backslide irritates him. It really shouldn't. He should be thrilled that he can finally disappear from view for an hour without somebody calling out a search party. He's more than earned it, he thinks, but their trust highlights their naivety. Luckily for them, John means it when he says he's changed — but it's a line they're going to hear time and again from people far less genuine than he's been. They're so willing to help everyone and anyone that they don't even realize how much of a target they're making themselves. John's had to hold his tongue whenever Nick gives free supplies to shifty-eyed tweakers who are "just passing through," and while he trusts Kim not to let anyone obviously suspicious into the house, he doesn't trust her to recognize a cunning liar.

The last thing John needs is for the Ryes to put their trust in the wrong reformed psychopath. At least he's capable of picking up their slack. After all, John has his time at law school and years of psychological abuse under his belt — plenty of real-world experience dealing with unrepentant garbage. He'll notice it when somebody cases the hangar or acts too erratically, and hopefully the Ryes will listen to him if he gets the nerve to voice his concerns.

Not for the first time since summer, John is struck with a newfound respect for Jacob and the role he'd inhabited in the Project. It used to be his job to look out for insurrectionists, and he'd taken on that burden even when John and Joseph would openly dismiss his concerns. John can't imagine how many fires Jacob must've put out while the rest of the family was distracted by the Bliss. Looking back on it now, it's honestly a surprise they maintained their operation as long as they did, considering only one of the four of them was ever sober.

The chickens are hopping at his arrival, scuttling around the dirt and crowing as John reaches the pen. They don't notice him so much as the bin he rattles on approach, full of vegetable cuttings and strange white worms that come out whenever it rains. John doesn't mind one lick — he's never been much of an animal person, and he certainly doesn't care if Carmina's so-called pets notice his existence. Of course, knowing Carmina, she's going to use this as an excuse to shift breakfast duty to John full-time, and John won't have much of a say in the matter.

Well, that's not strictly true, but if Carmina asked, he knows he would do it, if only to give his day more structure. Truthfully, he's grown to depend on routine, when before it was impossible to keep to a schedule that didn't involve other people's expectations of him. There's probably a metaphor to be made about trains on and off the tracks, but John has never been particularly interested in locomotives.

John shakes the dead bugs and scraps out into the pen, watching the hens as they race to be the first to eat. They're perfectly happy now that they've been fed, cooing and clucking as they peck the dirt. They certainly seem content with safety and food — not entirely unlike the survivors living day-to-day in the town and beyond. Sure, John might not always be satisfied by bare sustenance, and one day he'll chafe under the grind of surviving week to week, but for now, he might as well be a dumb chicken crowing in the morning sun.

He throws some more feed into the pen, watching the three hens waddle after their meal. One of them lingers by the fence, freezing for a moment as her head swivels back and forth. She pecks at the dirt away from the feed before hustling after her two companions. John watches as she stops again; when he tosses a few worms in her direction, she pecks briefly at them before lifting her head to survey her surroundings.

The primal sensation of something being wrong nearly overtakes John's reasoning, before he manages to remind himself that a chicken's predators aren't exactly his to worry about. Still, he rattles the container to bring the hens scuttling towards him; all three are easily distracted by food now, but John can't shake the feeling that he'd missed something they hadn't. A fox, maybe? A snake? Anything could be lurking in the woods on the other side of the wash. Not a whole lot that could hurt him , of course, but he's not about to be blamed for Carmina's chickens being eaten by a wild dog.

The fence-line is... nebulous past the hangar, sure, but John's positive Kim doesn't consider the rest of the old airport off-limits. Then again, she might be in the mood to lecture him once she gets through with Carmina. It's a risk he's not sure he's willing to take.

Two chickens continue to eat as one keeps watch, their heads bobbing up and down as they switch off. Their unease mirrors his own, and John can imagine Faith giggling at him for being swayed by some dumb birds.

"Very well, ladies," he sighs, shaking the remainder of their breakfast onto the ground. "Don't let them say I don't care."

The chickens don't give three shits about John's motivations, of course; they watch him go, pecking at the food with increasing carelessness as the distance grows. John rolls his eyes at their sudden fearlessness, half-convinced to let whatever animal is lurking eat them out of spite.

There's a wide swath of dirt behind the hangar, separating it from the mostly-overgrown remnants of Rye Aviation that couldn't be saved. John can see the edge of the chicken pen from here, but the hangar is blocking him from the house. Even though he knows the Ryes trust him not to run off, he still feels distinctly uneasy going somewhere where they can't see him. At this point, Nick would probably only tease him for it, but John's not about to linger out here and risk turning Kim's irritation on himself.

To the right of the derelict hangars is a sparse wedge of trees that have grown in uninterrupted. John knows there's a path cut between the trunks, one he'd made himself while hauling the tire-planters for Kim last year, and there's a long stretch of unused runway beyond it. It isn't a great place for anything bigger than a fox to lurk in. That doesn't explain the feeling of being watched that comes over him as he stops halfway across the empty dirt lot; he looks around, but there's no place for anything to hide out here. The overgrowth on the old hangars can't be more than two feet high, and the bushes in the copse are brambly and sparse. The only place anything could hide would be in the trees, which is why John approaches them with more caution than they're worth.

The thinned underbrush is easy to explore, but John goes carefully as he picks through the trees and bushes. He doesn't know exactly what he's looking for — some sign of predators, whatever those might be — but he doesn't find much. There are some hoof-prints clear in the dirt, curving sharply away from the Rye homestead and back out to the airstrip, which tells John that the goddamn deer are back, probably looking to eat their hard-grown crops. Other than that, there's no sign of anything that might be stalking the hen-house. The ground is still somewhat soft from the rain a few nights ago, but it barely takes the imprint of John's boots as he explores the small grove.

That's why it's such a shock to see the tread of a narrow boot in the dirt by the trunk of one of the trees, well off the beaten path. It's an old print, he thinks — but he doesn't remember the last time any one of them had been out this way. Certainly not since the last time it rained.

An electric shock conducts itself down his spine. Somebody had been out here, hiding here in the trees, and it's only been two, three days since the last rain. John turns, and from his vantage point, he can clearly see the coop and the back of the hangar, but not the house. For that, he'd have to move out of the trees, into direct view of the porch.

It has to be Grace's boot. She's the only one he could imagine creeping around the property with good intentions. But even that explanation doesn't settle the anxious flip of his stomach; he tries not to let it show as he marches from the trees, intent on dragging Nick over and proving to him once and for all that they need to be more goddamn careful about who they let around the property. Somebody is going to want the copper fixtures they've salvaged, even if there's nobody to sell the metal to these days.

John gets halfway back to the coop when he catches something in his peripheral vision. Terrible, primal terror grips him as he fixes his gaze on the trick of the light that had scared him, ready to catch Grace peering at him over the abandoned hangars, or maybe a pack of wild dogs. What he sees instead turns his blood to ice, caught like a deer in headlights as the low-hanging shrubbery and thick vines shift and part for a rising mass of dark brown fur. The shape that rises from the underbrush is a tall, dark smudge against the blue sky, and John nearly swallows his tongue when he sees its face — or the horrifying absence of one, replaced with white, flaking skin and two huge, empty eye-sockets that are fixed on John's position.

It doesn't move. Neither does John, frozen to the spot as the chickens begin to crow and fuss. He can't fathom what he's looking at — a bear, a person, a fucking mutant? — but whatever it is, he suspects it's infected with Bliss. Who knows how many angels ended up underground after the Collapse? What might've happened to them in the years since? All John knows about them is that they're dangerous to everybody but Faith, and Faith died a decade ago. If this is an angel — God, there'll be no stopping it. And if it isn't — then what the hell is it ?

There's no way for John to get from here to the house without the thing chasing him. The hangar is blocking his brutal oncoming murder from the two people who might actually be able to do something about it. He doesn't have to look to know the distance from here to the house is insurmountable.

The creature lifts its arm, and the situation that couldn't get any worse takes an even more horrifying turn as it reveals its weapon of choice: a crudely fashioned bow, the same kind of handmade weaponry that Joseph's followers have been seen with.

All at once, Nick's voice is ringing in John's ears, warning him of what's going to happen if this gargoyle takes him away. The things John hadn't considered before — the Ryes' reputation, Carmina's safety, the hard-won trust John's gained from the survivors — it's all in jeopardy. The situation barrels into him all at once — the realization that whatever Joseph did to create this thing , he won't hesitate to turn on John.

He tries to shout a warning, but his breath is caught in his throat. Faith's voice, faint on the breeze, laughs and whispers sing-song into his ear:

They've found you!

The monster barrels down the slope of the hill as if prodded into action by a hot poker. Its gait is wide, bringing it towards John at speeds impossible to outrun. This time, John's shout comes out clear as a bell, panic screaming through him as he turns and bolts for the house. He nearly clips himself on the pen as he hangs a sharp right turn, the porch coming into full sight —

Something snags the back of John's shirt, and his momentum briefly chokes him. A thick arm bears down across his neck before he can rip free, the creature grunting in exertion as it yanks him backward. John feels his boots scrape on the dirt as he's dragged towards the trees, away from the safety that's plain in sight.

Animal instinct kicks in. John gnashes his teeth but there's nothing to bite, so he kicks out his feet instead, first in front of him and then harshly backward until he can hook his shin behind his assailant's and trip them both to the ground. The creature goes down with a surprised grunt; John does his best to roll away, only to be yanked back by his hair. He's distantly aware that he's spitting like a cat in a sack, clawing and biting, the two of them rolling in the dirt as John screams profanities and heresy at the monster trying to pin him down, anything to convince the universe to take mercy on him for once in his fucking life!

The creature manages to grab him by the shoulder, throwing him into the dirt before backhanding him violently across the face. It's enough to daze him; for one horrible second, he's unable to do anything as the monster begins to drag him across the dirt by the legs.

There's a commotion coming from the house. For a split second, the creature looks up, and John realizes his opening at the same time the monster realizes its mistake. It looks down just in time for John to kick it square in its barky, hollow-eyed face, sending a split down the wooden facade.

" John !"

The monster reels backward as if burned, grabbing at the mask as it falls away. John catches sight of a single dark, wild eye behind the broken wood before he kicks out again, sending both boots into his assailant's chest. As soon as the creature staggers back, John bolts, scrambling towards Kim as she races toward him with the rifle drawn. Nick is hot behind her; he grabs John's shoulder and drags him partway back to the house. John doesn't need the escort, and so Nick quickly leaves him to scramble up the porch as he goes after his wife.

John gets all the way to the stairs inside before he realizes there's no safe place to hide. He'd found out this winter just how flimsy the prisoner story had been; if somebody wants to take him, all they have to do is climb onto the roof and jimmy the lock on the nearest window. Whether it's through the broken window in his room or a gap in the roof leading to the attic, the Project will find him. He can't possibly outrun them forever. He'd be stupid to even try. God, he'd been a fool for thinking Joseph wouldn't send someone looking for him, that he wouldn't want to snatch John back from the clutches of apostasy. There's no way Joseph will leave a loose end like him untied.

John sinks to the bottom steps in his mounting despair, only to realize for a second time that he's being watched. The realization is less of a shock as Carmina peers at him around the kitchen archway; she jumps at the distant rapport of gunfire, staring owl-eyed at John as though she expects him to do something.

"Stay down," John hisses, setting an example as he keeps low on his way into the kitchen.

"What happened?" Carmina asks, frantic, "Is mom gonna be okay?"

"Yes," John replies, although he can't possibly know that for sure. He waits a beat, listening for more gunshots, then carefully lifts his head to check out the window when none come. He lets out the breath he'd been holding when he sees Nick standing with his hands on his hips, staring at Kim further down the yard. Whatever the danger had been, it's not pressing enough to warrant immediate action.

"Seriously," Carmina whines, as if that could hide her fear. "What was it? Was it a bear? Grace says there are bears in the woods but I've never seen —"

John sinks to the ground, his mind reeling even as the panic passes, leaving him numb. "It wasn't a bear."

Carmina chews on her lower lip, looking up towards the window as though she might try looking for herself. "Are the chickens okay?" she asks.

"They're fine," he sighs. He pushes his hair from his face, only to realize that his hands have started to tremble with run-off adrenaline.

"Are... you okay?" she asks, frowning as though she can't decide whether or not his wellbeing is her problem to deal with.

Goodwill must be genetic, John laments. "I'm fine," he tells her. She gives his shaking hands a hard look; he sighs and reiterates, "I'll be fine. Don't worry about me."

"I'm not," Carmina huffs. Apparently, Nick's attempts to teach Carmina how to bluff haven't worked out.

John is saved from needing to reassure her as Nick abruptly appears in the kitchen arch, out of breath and red-faced. His shock gives way to relief at the sight of the two of them huddled by the counter. He's out of breath and visibly bewildered.

"Shit, John, you okay?"

"I'm fine," he says, although he doubts Nick will believe it any more than Carmina had. His foot jogs uselessly against the floor. "Kim — did she...?"

Nick shakes his head. "She tried," he says, "But it was too fast. What the fuck was it ?"

"Somebody from the Project."

"No shit. But — look, it wasn't an angel , was it?"

John shakes his head. "I don't know."

Kim storms into view, making her way to the pass-through from the living room side. She sets the rifle down on the counter, catching John's eye with a glare. John hurries to explain himself, as if he could possibly apologize for bringing the cult back to her doorstep.

"I was checking for foxes," he tells her, "I didn't think it — if I'd known what it was, I wouldn't have gone on my own."

Despite the fury in her eyes and the hard edge to her voice, Kim seems to mean it when she replies, "As long as nobody's hurt."

But the damage is done, and John can't help but babble on uselessly. "I wasn't looking in the right place. But I shouted as soon as I saw it. I just — couldn't outrun it. I wasn't fast enough. And I wasn't — it was stronger than I expected, stronger than..." Even he can hear the panic edging into his voice, cutting himself off with one last worried question. "Do you think it's gone?"

"It better be, if it knows what's good for it," Kim replies. "Are you sure you're okay?"

At any other time, John would be irritated to have to reassure every single Rye individually that he isn't in the throes of a panic attack. Right now, he's only grateful to realize that Kim doesn't blame him for the thing's appearance.

"I am," he says. "Thank you."

Nick groans, covering his eyes with one hand as he leans against the counter. "So much for it being safe to go out alone. Damn it, we got too comfortable."

" I got too comfortable," John says. "It wouldn't have cared about either of you."

"What about the chickens?" Carmina asks, "Are they safe there?"

Kim crosses her arms. "What I want to know is what the hell the Project is doing out here."

Her question is the only one John has any insight into, although he doesn't know how realistic his theory is. "They might be hunting deer," he says. "The only thing I saw, other than — than that , were deer tracks."

"All the way out here?" Kim asks skeptically.

"The hunting can't be any good in that swamp they're hiding in," Nick points out, frowning as he considers the idea. "And there are more survivors around the river these days. I'd bet that'd make for slim pickings."

"I doubt we'd even know they come out this far if I hadn't been the one out there. At least we've confirmed they're actively searching for resources beyond their compound — and they're relying on traditional methods to do so. Most likely because the armory was destroyed."

"Thank God for the Deputy," Nick sighs. "Okay. We're just gonna have to... I dunno, be willing to shoot, I guess." He doesn't sound so sure about it, and he quickly softens the intention. "At least a couple more warning shots. Once they remember guns outstrip arrows every way but sustainability, they'll probably keep back."

"We can push the fence-line out, too," Kim says. "It won't necessarily stop them, but at least it'll give them a line to cross. They're not cavemen — they remember property laws and how those get enforced around here."

"We'll have to start checking the traps more often. They might be living like bloodthirsty Mennonites right now, but that doesn't mean they aren't willing to steal to survive."

"They'll justify it one way or another," John sighs.

"So I guess we don't have to move the chickens after all," Nick says, "So long as we establish a perimeter. Sound good, Carmina?"

Carmina must have slipped out at some point during the conversation because she's nowhere to be found in the kitchen. Nick glances over John's head and out the window, swearing loudly.

"What the hell is she doing out there?"

John gets to his feet as Nick and Kim take off. He watches them through the window as they chase after Carmina, who's stopped to look around partway towards the coop. Either she's dumber than she seems, or she's inherited both of her parents' reckless streaks. Either way, she's going to leave herself open the same way John had. She's too confident that nobody wants to hurt her. The only way John knows how to teach that lesson, though, is not one that Kim or Nick would approve of — and so he sidelines his worries in favor of sticking with whoever is more armed than he is.

By the time John comes outside, Kim is knee-deep in the middle of a heated lecture about safety and responsibility. Carmina scowls at her feet, her face turning red as she's scolded. John ignores them, passing them by in favor of catching up with Nick, who's come to a stop a few yards past the coop. He's staring out into the unoccupied land — land that used to be his property, once. Now Nick is as much a stranger here as John is.

"Check it out," Nick says, holding out a thin, white-barked piece of wood. John takes it and recognizes it immediately as part of the mask he'd broken in two. The hole for the eye is a roughly cut gouge in the soft wood, and the bark flakes as he wipes his thumb across it.

"I hadn't even considered a mask," John admits. "I thought it was a monster."

"You and me both," Nick replies. He heaves a sigh. "Still waiting for the mutants to crawl out of the sewers, I guess. But I think we can handle a couple of jackasses with arrows."

John squints across the clearing, as if maybe his assailant has hung around waiting for them to reappear. "Next time, it might be Joseph," he points out grimly. "That hunter recognized me immediately. They'll tell him I'm here, and he'll want to find me."

"Come on. Like Joseph's gonna risk crossing enemy territory on foot. I'd be more worried about those goddamn hunting parties you used to send out."

John unconsciously reaches up to rub his throat. "Yeah," he says. "You're right. One of them clearly wasn't enough, but if Joseph decides I'm worthwhile, they'll come as a pack. If he's still manufacturing Bliss somehow, it would be easy to subdue me. And then..."

He's surprised out of his would-be reverie as Nick slaps his shoulder with a heavy hand. "We're not gonna let that happen," he says. "As long as you put up the same fight you did today, Kim and I are gonna come running."

Despite the reality of hidden archers and surprise ambushes, John allows himself to be reassured by the sentiment. At the very least, he pretends for Nick's sake. "I suppose you two were quick to the rescue," he drawls. "But if they get me to the tree-line, I'd rather you just put me down before I get dragged all the way back to the compound."

Nick chuckles. "We'll try to avoid that for now."

Looking over his shoulder, John catches Kim crouched down in front of Carmina, hands on her shoulders. Whatever she's saying, it's too quiet for John to hear, but Carmina's sniffles are a loud precursor to a lot of tears.

"I guess she believed you when you said the Project wouldn't care about us," Nick sighs. "At this rate, we're gonna have to put a bell on her."

"I could tell her about the child soldiers from the summer camp, if that would prove the gravity of the situation."

Just the mention of it makes Nick look a little queasy, and John immediately regrets bringing it up. "I don't want to scare her that badly," Nick says. "She's a good kid, she means well. She just needs to stop going off half-cocked, is all." He rubs his hand across his forehead and complains, "I thought we taught her to be smarter than this."

"She's still your kid," John says. Nick gives him a sour look, but it's the truth no matter how bitter Nick might feel about it. "You can't expect her to be utterly obedient, given her genetics."

"I guess ." He sighs, shaking his head. "At any rate, it's time we stop sugar-coating the cult for her benefit. She's obviously not taking it seriously."

John looks again and sees Kim embracing Carmina tightly. He can't help but worry about what might happen if the hunters come back. When he'd been with the Project, he'd understood Joseph's motivations — at least superficially — but now he's completely in the dark. They used to fill their ranks with abducted children and their desperate parents. He has no idea if Joseph is in a position to expand his flock, but if he is... John does not doubt that they'll start with the young and impressionable. Carmina, being young but not as impressionable as they'd like, probably wouldn't make it back to the compound before she got herself killed. He can't imagine anyone having enough patience to break her.

"You... uh, think we should be worried?" Nick asks after a brief stretch of silence.

"Not yet," John replies grimly. After all, the Ryes have a bargaining chip like no other, in case their daughter is ever taken. John can see to it that she's left alone, but it will only work once — and after that, who knows which brother will be sending hunters after her.

"Good thing we got ourselves a couple of extra guns," Nick says. "You and her are gonna have to start carrying pretty much everywhere."

"I'm sure people will love that."

"Fuck people, man, did you see the size of that fucking guy?"

John can't help a wry smile. "They weren't so big. If I were a couple of years younger, I would have taken them."

"Yeah, sure. "

The lecture must be over with for now, as Carmina's attention has turned back to her chickens. Kim watches her from a distance; John can't read her expression from here, but her posture is tense and defensive. John can't blame her — he doesn't have a parental bone in his body, but the stress of raising a child in these conditions isn't lost on him. Trying to instill a sense of fear into somebody who lived their formative years without a threat in sight can't be easy. Doubly so, considering Carmina can no doubt outgun the rudimentary weaponry the Project is utilizing. Hell, maybe they really are only a threat to him. Maybe it doesn't matter if Carmina sneaks out of the house.

"She won't leave unnoticed again," John decides, because it's the only promise he can genuinely keep.

"Oh yeah? You're gonna eat those words when she's a teenager."

"I'd hope she would be smart enough to bring back up by then."

"Me too." Nick exhales loudly enough to get Kim's attention, stretching one arm over his chest, then the other. "Well, I guess we better get started if we want to have anything to show for it by nightfall."

Even so, it takes Nick another moment before he brings himself to move. John lingers behind, unable to help himself as he eyes the trees distrustfully. There's nothing saying that hunter isn't still out there, watching them from a safe distance. If Jacob had a hand in training them, it's unlikely that John will ever see them coming again. He's likely lost the one chance at a level playing field, and he hadn't even realized it was something he could lose.

Fuck it. It doesn't matter. John has adapted time and again to every disaster in his life, and there's something to be said for the person who he's become. If this is the next catastrophe that he'll have to weather, then so be it. If he isn't capable of dealing with Joseph by now, then it's likely he never will be — and if that turns out to be the case, he can only hope that Kim is as quick on the trigger as she seemed to be today.

#far cry new dawn #fcnd #john seed #nick rye #kim rye #carmina rye #far cry fanfic #my fic #ugh tagging sucks on this site #mercyverse

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years ago

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Survey #328

okay i’m going the fuck to bed now. @_@

Have you ever worn fake eyelashes? No; the only time I ever will will possibly be my wedding, if even then. Could you possibly write a successful novel? I think I'm capable, but I don't believe it will happen. Who’s the last person you video-chatted with? My therapy group via Zoom. Do ski lifts make you nervous or do you like them? Never been in one, but they seem cool. Have you ever had dandruff? I have dandruff AND a dry scalp. Nice combo. Do you think sleeve tattoos look trashy? Please explain to me how ANY tattoo inherently equates to being "trashy." I actually love sleeve tats. Have you ever gone through a phase of crushing on EVERYONE? No. I experienced a few crushes my freshman year of high school, but they weren't just anybody. If you had to get a portrait tattoo, who would it be of? I may or may not get a tattoo of Darkiplier doing his i c o n i c debut smile somewhere, but idk. I already have one tattoo related to Mark and would kill for another with his handwriting, so having three would be a bit... wild, haha. Do you have any stickers on any of your electronic devices? No. Do you like the smell of men’s colognes better than woman’s perfumes? Usually. Can you remember what you last clapped for? Yes; everyone in group clapped for one of the women taking a big step against her agoraphobia. Is your hair damaged? No, it's actually super healthy. Are you in charge of cleaning anything in your household? The litterbox and my room in general. Ever carved/written anything on a park bench? No. Most interesting place you’ve ever visited? Chicago was a big shock to me. I am FAR from used to cities that incredible and stocked. Do you keep your eyebrows more thick or thin? I don't groom them, so they're on the thicker end. Do you always wear a bra? Not at home and if there's no company. Do your shoulder blades protrude? No. Have you ever won on one of those grabber machine things? Yeah, a few times. Are you gonna French kiss your hubby at your wedding? Who says I'm marrying a man? But whatever, no. Keep that behind closed doors. How many bananas have you ever eaten in a row? No more than two. I usually don't even have two. Have you ever had sex outside? No. Have you ever been outside naked? No. Have you ever been in a shrubbery maze? No. You ever like someone who liked you back, but didn’t want a relationship?: That's pretty much where I'm at now. Have you ever fallen for someone who didn’t feel the same? No. Are you financially stable? No. Mom can barely afford rent right now; I had to pay it last month with gifted money. Are you emotionally stable? hunny Do you think kids these days are growing up too quickly? I kinda think so, yeah. It's funny how different kids are now compared to when I was whatever age they are. I try to be open-minded about it, though; times change, and I don't expect my generation to be the only "right" way to have grown up. I just think kids are chasing the power of "maturity" with much more vigor. Are you a rebel? Not really. Do you like when people use proper grammar on the Internet? Yeah. I like conversing with people who type just how they talk, like me. Have you ever driven or been a passenger on a motorcycle? Neither. I don't want to ride one. Do you use standard time, or 24 hour time? Standard time. Do you enjoy NASCAR? "HE'S MAKIN ANOTHER LEFT TURRRRRRN!" Lol no, I really don't. Who is the most fascinating person you’ve met? Probably Sara, honestly. What amazing adventures have you been on? What's this "adventure" you speak of? What would you do if had enough money to not need a job? Lots of traveling with my camera, still selling art anyway. What TV series do you keep coming back to and re-watching? None. What would your perfect vacation look like? Y'know, one of those glass dome ceiling cabin... things in the mountains with Sara would be so, SO cool. So much nature for us to explore. What are some obscure things that you are or were really into? Most of my interests honestly, haha. The strangest is probably "vulture culture," in which the remains (typically the bones) of a naturally deceased wild animal are basically recycled for some sort of artistic purpose. You could consider my roadkill photography an example. What are some things everyone should try at least once? I dunno, man. Depends on what you're into. What would your perfect morning be like? Cuddles with an s/o watching some funny videos or something like that to get in some morning laughter. What are you always game for? Video games, haha. What do you do to unwind? Watch YouTube. What’s your favorite piece of furniture you’ve ever owned? I don't have a fave. What would be the best city to live in? I don't want to live in a city. What would you like to know more about, but haven’t had the time to look into it? Time isn't an issue; I just haven't. There's lots of stuff. I'm a very curious person. How have you changed from when you were in high school? I'm less depressed, but more confused, scared, and much less motivated. Imagine a chicken wandering around with its head chopped off. Where is the most fun place around where you live? Nothing, really... Where would your friends or family be most surprised to find you? Like, a strip club or something. What’s expensive but totally worth it? This depends on what's important to you. For me, a quality DSLR camera. When do you feel most out of place? Whenever I'm some place fancy. What’s the most recent thing you’ve done for the first time? No idea. What small seemingly insignificant decision had a massive impact on your life? Accepting Jason's friend request on Facebook because I thought it was a different Jason I actually knew. What did you do last summer? Nothing, just stayed indoors trying not to melt into a sizzling puddle. What are you most grateful for? My mom. What’s the most essential part of a friendship? Trust, maybe. When was the last time you walked for more than an hour? Many, many years ago when I used to walk outside for hours with my iPod. All modesty aside, what are you better at than 90% of people? It doesn’t have to be useful or serious, it can be something ridiculous. 90% is a lot, man. Maybe bonding with animals? What’s the strangest phone conversation you’ve ever had? I don’t know. What do you like but are kind of embarrassed to admit? If I'm embarrassed by it, I have no interest in sharing it. What skill or ability have you always wanted to learn? Even just a smidge of social skills. What’s the best meal you’ve ever had? Probably the spicy shrimp fritas at Olive Garden. I adore those sooooooooo so much. Where was your favorite place to go when you were a kid? The zoo. We didn't go often at all, but I would frequently nag Mom about going. What’s something that most people haven’t done, but you have? Fed a freshly severed rat to a vulture. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I wanna go back to that bird rescue... What says the most about a person? How they treat others. What machine or appliance in your house aggravates you the most? The dryer. It can take a few rounds to fully dry something. What places have you visited that exceeded your expectations? Chicago, that I actually remember. Disney World probably did, but I was just a little kid and only have faint memories of the trip. What’s the worst advice someone has given you? I don't know. Besides your home and your work, where do you spend most of your time? People leave their houses? What are your top 3 favorite things to talk about? Mark, meerkats, and video games. When you were a kid, what seemed like the best thing about being a grown up? No one could tell me no for "stupid" reasons. What’s the strangest way you’ve become friends with someone? Strange way? I haven't got a clue. What’s your favorite band NAME (not necessarily your favorite band)? Maybe Cradle of Filth. Badass metal name. There are a lot of good ones, though. What’s your favorite thing to do outdoors? Take pictures of flowers or animals. How often do you dance? Silly/ironic dancing counts. Essentially never. Who besides your parents taught you the most about life? Jason, I guess. What’s been the most significant plot twist in your own life? The breakup that I thought was physically impossible, entirely unfathomable. Where did you take family vacations to when you were younger? We didn't really go on vacations. If you could instantly receive a Ph.D. in any discipline including all the knowledge and experience that goes along with it, what would your Ph.D. be in? Biology. What are the top three social situations you try to avoid most? Anywhere where I have to speak publicly; parties/get-togethers involving people I don't know; anywhere that is extremely crowded. Just social situations in general, really... What friendship you’ve had has impacted you the most? My friendship with Sara. What’s something you’re interested in that most people wouldn’t expect? Uhhh I don't know, really. What’s the hardest you’ve worked for something? My recovery from the breakup. What took you way too long to figure out? The only person who had any right to control my happiness and will to live was myself. What nicknames have you had throughout your life? If you include online ones as well, there's Britt, Britt-Britt, Twinkie, Bee, Flower, Ruby, Mozart2, Ozz(y), Alessa, and uhhh... I wanna say that's it? What do you do differently than most people? I deconstruct my breakfast biscuits to eat one part at a time... haha. Where’s the last place you’d ever go? Prison. What fact floored you when you heard it? That my dad did some hard drugs before us kids were born. I was entirely speechless. Have you ever watched a needle go into your own skin? Yeah, it doesn't bother me. Have you ever spent more than two weeks in a wheelchair? No. Does weed smell good? Or no? Ugh, no. It smells awful. Do you blow dry your hair or do you let it air out? Air dry. Do you catch lizards? No; I don't like the idea of catching wild animals just to pick up and check out. That poor critter is terrified. I'd rather just take pictures of it and let it go about its day. Would you rather get a big tattoo or small tattoo? I want my next tattoo to be a big'n. How many pills do you take every morning? I absolutely do not want to count. A whole lot. What was the last parade you went to? /shrug What theme would you choose for a baby’s nursery? If I was hypothetically having kids, let's see. A son, absolutely dinosaurs. A daughter, maybe meadowy with baby animals. My baby blanket was full of baby animals, so it'd be kinda cute, that connection. What color would you paint a baby girl’s nursery? Not because of gender norms, but by personal choice, pastel pink. Does your first crush know that he/she was your first crush? No. What is the last thing you missed out on that you wanted to go to? Hm. Who do you wish were your best friend? I am perfectly happy with who already is my best friend. Who do you wish you could go on another date with? She knows. Who was the last friend of yours to have a baby, and what’s the baby’s name? I'm not sure, but my high school friend Megan is due to have her daughter Persephone soon! She won the naming game. Like damn, how badass would it feel for your name to be Persephone. Do you have a favorite M&M? Just the classic ones. Is it easy to make you cry? OHHHHH YES IT IS. Have you ever snuck out? Nah. Who was the last person to comment you? On Facebook? My friend Lyndsey commented on a photo I shared. What song reminds you of being in middle school? "All Signs Point to Lauderdale" by A Day To Remember is the anthem for going through puberty in school and trying to figure yourself out. What was the first thing you learned how to cook? Scrambled eggs. What’s something really basic that you’re terrible at? Cooking. Are you pale or tan? I'm very pale. When’s the last time you were kissed? On the lips, like two or so years ago. Do you like the movie Grease? Never seen it, actually. What’s your favorite Jim Carrey movie? The Mask, probably. What was the last baby animal you saw in the wild? I think a fawn. Have you been binge-watching any shows lately? If so, what? No. What’s the best physical feeling in the entire universe? I meeeaaan... Do you have bad anxiety? If so, do you take any kind of medication for it? Yes and yes. If you could, would you work from home? Do you think that would make you more or less productive? Well, it's complicated. I don't, but I also want to be a freelance photographer, so I kinda would. I like the idea of having an office in my house purely for productive activities to prevent becoming lazy because I'd be at home. Would you ever be an organ donor? I am one.

#survey #surveys #questions

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0225pm · 4 years ago

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i am so mad bc it is so damn hot rn man i wish my aircon’s working.

posting this a day late cus i was rushing my group project.

but anyway so yesterday we went on a date. or not rly a date date cus we didn’t plan much. it was quite simple so this is just gonna be a short post, i guess.

so farhan came over and this time round he didn’t share his live location with me cus he said “for what when i’m gonna be waiting for you anyway” which tbh hurts me a little bc i actually alr planned to meet him or like surprise him earlier at the void deck. i literally woke up so much earlier than my stipulated time that i set my alarm clock at and then prepared and stuff so when he said that i felt kinda hurt cus i rly just wanted to show him that i can do it and i can work on my punctuality but it feels like he just doesn’t believe in me. but anyway so he came over and then called me saying he wanna poop so i let him in and then he laid on my bed and didn’t feel like pooping cus it was hot outside. and yeah it really was super damn hot.

so we laid in bed for a little bed and i decided to change into a black top with my fav pair of jeans cus he also was wearing black and then after awhile i decided not to head out and we’ll just order in but then we changed our minds and decided to head down to craze kitchen at tampines to order takeaway. this time round i got their aglio olio! and we decided to treat ourselves a little bit and got their meat selections. i got the beef and he got their lamb. sorry no pics cus i didn’t take any.

then we went to 7-11 and i got some chips, drinks and my contact lens solution which he paid for. and then we went to the rojak shop which we walked past earlier on and got their char kway rojak which just turns out to be a disappointment :( i realised they actually used an air fryer to heat the char kway up so it turns into this crunchy flour and it just wasn’t what a soft char kway should be.

after that we headed to his bike and went home.

we were quite hungry by then so i decided to try the char kway rojak and like i said it was disappointing :/ he also said that this wasn’t how a rojak was supposed to be but i’m the one that wanted the one with the char kway so yeahhhhh

honestly felt like it was my fault 😢 cus he wasted $4 on that

then we moved onto our main meal which was the aglio olio from craze. tbh their aglio olio is one of the best i’ve tried so far like in terms of shops cus you can really taste the spice and the ginger and they’re very generous with the oil/butter which is what aglio olio should be. not dry and under-oiled or underseason but i just wish that they’ll give different pasta options cus i’m just not a fan of linguine. i much prefer my aglio olio to be the spaghetti pasta or angel hair pasta but it is still nice and they’re not stingy with their portion. i couldn’t even finish mine hahaha partly cus it’s quite spicy as well but if aglio olio not spicy then no kick ya know so i rather it’s spicy than not at all. as for the meat, the beef was pretty hard but maybe it’s cus i requested for medium well. i just don’t think i’ll be able to eat a medium rare? or like those that’s still v red on the inside hahaha. i didn’t try the lamb tho but i think it’s much easier to cut cus he didn’t seem to have a problem with it.

while eating we were also watching abtm and lol i’ve never watch the movie before hahaha and he was so shocked but ya i didn’t watch both the one and the two so we watched a bit tgt and halfway thru i was done with my meal and couldn’t finish my pasta so as i was about to head to the kitchen he asked me if i’m done then i said ya and he asked if i keeping it for later and i said no hahaha and he took it and ate it. it’s actually nice to see him eating so well but he ended up not being able to finish his lamb hahaha i asked if he wanna keep it for later and he was like no he wanna throw. and it was so cute when he’s all clingy asking me to give him attention. i love it when he does that hahaha it makes me feel needed and important lol as weirdly as that sounds.

and then we just spend the rest of the day in bed. continued watching abtm after cleaning up and then he watched larva movie on netflix while i was settling some of my group project stuff. also it made me all warm and fuzzy when he said he likes kissing me hahaha cus i like kissing him too 😌 and then time past by pretty quickly and it was time for him to head back. he wanted to stay a little bit longer but i figured it wasn’t such a good idea after what he said earlier on so i pushed him to head back home instead tho ofc it would have been such a good idea if he stayed later cus like i always say i would love to spend as much time as i possibly could with him. lol this makes me sound like i’m dying or smth but ya hahaha i’ll admit once a week is not enough even after being tgt for so long meeting once a week feels like i’m in some long distance rs but well i have to understand the situation and it is what it is.

#adaywithhan #augustwithhan

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honeyfreckled · 5 years ago

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we have talked a few times and im sorry for this but you are the most accepting and easiest person to talk to honestly i dont have many people in my life i can tell anything real to. but the thing is ive been thinging about relapsing a lot more since i broke up with my boyfriend and i work with him so it makes work depressing and impossible to get through a day without crying sorry this is anon but i am scared ily dont hate me i am not trying to stress you out

ok wow first lemme just say: I DO NOT HATE U. EVER.

and don’t be srry i don’t have a lotta ppl irl i can tell my shit to so i get it. pls know u can always ALWAYS ALWAYS come to me, and u dont gotta be scared to come off anon. i get it and it’s ok if u prefer it that way- but pls know i dont keep it on alot bc i get hate and then i turn it off bc i gotta look out for myself and dont post all the hate bc i dont wanna bring yall down or give them the satisfaction of knowing i have given it a read and response. so u can message me or make a sideblog or idk im just saying this so if it’s off later u dont blame yrself or feel scared to come off anon. ok sorelapse is a real thing and it’s fucked and hard and addiction is fucked up and a real life struggle and we dont treat addicts w the real tenderness, respect, kindness, and acceptance they deserve. but u DO deserve it. and there are hotlines, apps, churches, groups, chatrooms/boards, and sites that are more versed in what are the appropriate things to say to u- i say this bc while i’ve been thru it w loved ones i have not myself struggled w addiction w substances. my addictions were to self harm and victimhood so those are the things i searched for help on. but if it’s alright i’d like to give u some tips or things i used and have heard work for addicts of substances

places like i said like churches, groups, chatrooms, sites, apps, hotlines the apps and hotlines are good if u cant travel or want to talk to ppl who wont share their story bc maybe u cant hear it like its not the kinda help ur looking for. hotlines are sometimes tricky bc some of those folks are not educated they are volunteers so judgment leaks thru and in that case u ask to be redirected and report that volunteer so hopefully they dont repeat that kinda mess to other vulnerable folks looking for help

make a list of things, anything. list of foods u like to order, list of things that make u clench yr teeth, what were yr fave gifts you’ve ever got, style icons of urs, hobbies u tried that annoyed u, movies u can always watch, places on yr skin u hate being touched, any list of anything it doesnt have to be the usual thing of “what to live for” bc when yr depressed those kinds of things arent easy to think of. but if u get a list going of like “best things ive ever touched” “sounds that make me laugh” “trends that were stupid af” “popular things that i didnt like n couldnt figure out why they were popular” “weirdest ppl ive met” well those things might get u on a roll of good memories or laughing or seeing that theres more to yr life than what has been occupying yr thoughts

dancing. dance in yr room in the dark. clear some space. put on some headphones. lock yr door. do it in the shower. just dance. i had to start w closing my eyes and picking songs that i was taken by emotionally. songs that made me jump and slamdance tbh and then it’s just gotten more and more something im not as ashamed w. i spent a date night w james just dancing and then we ya know ya know bc the dancing got so wild. now i make playlists of songs that set moods for diff kinds of dancing

watch shows w ppl who arent doing better than u. they dont live in fancy places, they dont do much w their lives, they dont dress better than u, they struggle, they arent eating good food u dont have access to. iasip. freaks and geeks. letterkenny. undeclared. jake and amir. tpb. the state. youtube. tiktok/vine comps. lots of these kinds of vibes on youtube

podcasts. improv comedy podcasts tbh saved my life. comedy bang! bang! has best of’s those are good ones to start w. improv4humans bc matt besser has great guests of some of the best improvisers out there and he has musical guests and they’ll play a song and the improvisers will use it as inspo for a scene

make things. moodboards. pinterest. playlists. fill a shopping cart and tell yrself “i’ll get it when i win the lotto and move away from anyone who knows me so i can be the me i wanna be w/out judgement” make tea. make a meal if u can. make yr bed. clean one thing. clean the sink. hang some clothes or go thru yr drawers and clean them out. throwing things out feels hard at first but then it’s nice bc u feel less bogged down

find something to throw yr obsession at for a bit. something that wont hurt u as bad, being obsessed in general isnt good. everything in moderation irl. too much of something is bad just as much as too less of it can be bad. but yr looking for something lower risk here and if u gotta be obsessed w a celeb or a song or a food that’s ok. yr focusing the energy on something that isnt a substance so be proud of it

give yrself a break. give yrself some credit. everyday isnt gonna be on the “best of your name here’s days” but sometimes u just live to live bc that’s what u do. u wait it out and get thru it and wait for the sun to come back out. and if u cant get outta bed. or if you hate yr job and wanna scream- that’s normal it’s more normal than always being happy ppl just dont like talking abt bc society kinda trains us to hide our fucked upness idk why but thats how it is. they dont wanna tell us to do preventative care until we’re in the pits

all in all- it comes down to (at least for me) not planning w an endgoal in mind. it’s not over til it’s over and rlly we dont know. it’s all fluctuating and not meant to be a finish line we cross and then suddenly we’re done and we dont suffer anymore and the feeling of shit is gone or the risk of relapse is gone and the depression is cleared away never to be seen again. it’s not realistic. bc it isnt real. on the real- risk is always there and the downs and ups mix and run together and depression is not curable (this isnt something to be miserable over tho) depression isnt curable, yeah ok, but it is manageable. it can be quieted down from time to time and if u keep up w yr healthy routines and coping mechanisms- depression will still find its way to u bc the real world is not something u can manage. death in the family, loss of money or job, car breaking down, sickness outta nowhere, depression grows wild when these very real life stressors come into our lives. but all that too eventually gets easier and easier at least from a “ok i have some distance now” standpoint. and then as those days get more and more btwn it u can then be like “oh wow, ive made it thru X amount of days! ive put up w it this long! whats one more day, whats one more week, hell might as well see how much prouder i can feel once ive got a year under my belt!” plus u will be more capable of handling the bullshit if u know u can still find some safe places in yr coping skills or friends or resources.

ok so this is prob a mess but bottomline know this:

I love you and i will be here the best i can should u ever wanna come spill or if u need me to just send u pics of my dog or boring pics of knickknacks or selfies or memes or links or anything just tell me what u need and i will try my best to show u my love. i hope u can see that u reaching out is just already a HUGE major step in the right direction, give yrself credit! thats amazing! yr already doing it pumpkin look at u! it’s hard ik. but i also know if u are capable of saying u have this problem going on, u are capable of getting thru this. u are a light in the world. u offer goodness and u offer yrself and that’s enough. even if yr fucked up right now- u are contributing to the world by simply being u. there is literally NO ONE ELSE WHO IS YOU. so u are unique by definition. i hope u get something from this post and if not i hope it strikes an idea or thing u can do that will help. i hope u know im here and i hope u see this.

i am sending u all my light and love and good vibes and i can’t wait to see or hear from u again. u are never bothering me, a burden, or stressing me out. tbh it stresses me more that u might be struggling and not telling me or anyone. i dont ever want u to suffer in silence bc u feel guilt or scared or anything. u deserve to have a place to voice yr shit. im here to listen if u do wanna tell me anymore.

everyone else-if this helped or if u can think of anything that might help anon or anyone else- feel free to reblog and get some good NONJUDGMENTAL advice or tips and tricks going, but please please please remember to not come off as judgey or flood it with your drama. keep ur drama out of this post so anon or anyone else doesn’t get triggered by it.

and dont ignore my rule and do it anyway and then say some shit like “ik u said not to but i think this will help lol sorry” like we need this post to stay on this vibe that i set in motion and not a struggle contest or dick measuring or all sad personal reminiscing. go make yr own post for that this is NOT the space.

#Anonymous #sorry if this is a mess but i got a lot of feelings abt the shitty advice that's out there for addicts and i dont know shit except my ideas #and all i can do is pass it along but pls still remember there are plenty more things that could work so if these dont strike a chord lmk #and i can try to think of more and reach out to my friends who are addicts and see what works for them #i love you i love you and i love you and i like you

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enniewritesathing · 6 years ago

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The Couple Interview

Rules: answer the questions from your OC OTP’s point of view and tag as many people as you want.

I was tagged by @pink-chevalier (thank you bb <3) and... well, I’m gonna tag everyone who wants to do it!

This is a read, but this is also sort of a small primer for my newer followers.

1. HOW DID YOU TWO MEET?

Brian: “Oh, boy.”

John: “You want me to tell it, or...?”

Brian: “Nah, I got it. How can I put this? Back in our freshman year in high school, I kinda put out a hit on someone and I asked John to do it.”

John: “What?” (looks at Brian) “Well, when you word it like that, it sounds I killed the guy. I didn’t. And it wasn’t a hit. Brian ran cross country at the time and he was on the varsity team. The captain didn’t like that because Brian’s breaking records, so he tried to harass him. That is, until Brian pulled me aside and asked for help.”

Brian: “I didn’t have anyone to turn to. John was in my homeroom, and I always saw him carrying his gym bag with his gloves; I knew he fought, but I didn’t know what sport, but if it was enough to get McIntyre off my back... I asked John, which was the scariest part.”

John: “I wasn’t the friendliest lookin’ kid in the school.”

Brian: “Oh, he wasn’t. You really didn’t talk, and you were just... intense. Anyway, I asked him, even made the whole ‘you can copy my homework’ and all of that spiel, make the offer enticing because, why help me?”

John: “And you know what, I never took that offer up. I did it because I never liked the guy and two, I can’t stand it when I see someone getting harassed. And three because, Brian’s the only one to actually speak to me. Found out we have the same lunch period, so, we sat down and talked a bit.”

Brian: “And then McIntyre came.”

John: “Yeah... and I blocked him. He tried to get at Brian and next thing I know, McIntyre swings on me; I leaned back, he whiffs, I stepped in and threw a knee to his stomach -- not hard to break anything, thank god, but to send a message to him and everybody that watched: you fuck with Brian, I’ll fuck you up. Honestly? Should’ve punched him in the face.”

(Brian nods.)

Brian: “And, of course, god and country saw the whole thing, and John got suspended for a week.”

John: “And my uncle suspended me for... a month from fighting. It was worth it. I didn’t care about what my rep was. I was already the scary kid with the spooky eyes. (He shrugs) On top of that, lot of other people came forward about him harassin’ and he got expelled. I like to think of it as taking out the trash. My therapist wasn’t too happy about the whole thing... my mom was though.”

Brian: “I went over to his house. Which is in Windenburg. At the time, I lived in Oasis Springs. A loooong way off. Noelle, Mrs. Davidson came to the door. Looked at me up and down. I’m thinking this woman is going to yell at me for getting her son suspended, but... no, she asked what happened and I told her. She looks at me up and down again. She invited me in for dinner, so we could talk.”

John: “She didn’t really ground me because of what I did, but why I did it. She understands, but she also wished that I could’ve went a different way. But, after that, Brian started to come over and... that’s that.”

2. WHO IS THE MOST JEALOUS OF YOU TWO?

Brian: “Me.” (laughs) “I’m a lot better at it though.”

John: “See, I’m used to getting attention and Brian isn’t. So... when someone’s focusing solely on me, well...”

Brian: “I’ve had to do the slide in and do the clingly boyfriend thing a couple of times.”

John: “Now, Brian just wanders off.”

Brian: “I figure, eh, he’s probably making someone’s day or something, it’s no big. John’s not exempt though! We went out one time and the waiter was really flirting with me, and I gotta admit... that margarita was pretty good.”

John: “I made him a better margarita when we got home.”

3. WHAT’RE YOUR 3 FAVOURITE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT YOUR PARTNER?

Brian: “Just three? That’s not fair...” (John has a smug look as Brian looks at him.)

John: (kiss the air) “Hey, how ya’ doin’?”

Brian: (laughs) “Oh my god. If I had to honestly pick... (Brian rubs his chin.) Hmm. Hair, chest, and... lips. John’s hair? Look at it. It’s long and luscious. Like a cover of a romance novel. Lips? Soft and plush. I think about some of the kisses he gives two weeks later. His chest? (He grins.) Firm, yet supple. Look at that carpet!”

(John is blushing)

John: “Brian used to hate my chest hair. Like to the point of threatening to wax it off. So I said, “okay” and I did. And all of a sudden he hated how smooth I was. He couldn’t just run his fingers through it. Hell, I hated it because it just made everything sensitive. Never again. Oh, and by the way, every chance he gets, he sleeps on it.”

Brian: “You make a good pillow!”

John: “Apparently! You drool every time!”

Brian: “Alright, alright, enough about you. What about me?”

(Before John answers, Brian turns to him and bats his eyelashes (:3))

John: “I see... three isn’t fair.”

Brian: “Right?!”

John: “Eyes, Legs, Freckles. Brian’s eyes... they’re hazel. It’s easy to get lost in them, like a forest. They twinkle when he smiles. You have a wonderful smile. And his eyelashes? I’m jealous. Legs... ooh. See, I like Brian’s legs because it... kind of brings him together. He’s long and slender... like a dancer. Graceful.”

Brian: “Aw.”

John: “And a lovely ass. I can just eat it like a peach. I love peaches.”

Brian: “Yet you eat like--” (Brian pauses and turns beet red and covers his face.) “Oh.”

John: “Freckles! I can really see them now. You should see him after he’s been in the sun. There’s so many, and I wanna play connect the dots. But also, it makes him cuter than he ought to be. Like right now.”

4. WHO’S MORE LIKELY TO BE RUNNING LATE?

John: “Brian has no sense of time since he’s been a nurse.”

Brian: “I really don’t. There are times it gets so hectic in there that time is a myth and a lie. I don’t even know how I get home on some days.”

John: “It sort of bleeds over to when we’re getting ready to go out. He takes forever to pick an outfit. Hell, he has a mini fashion show to see what looks good. Babe, all of it looks good.”

Brian: “I have to be coordinated. You’d think John with (gestures) all of this, he’d be late. He’s not. He knows exactly what he’s gonna wear, how to wear his hair...”

John: “We were fifteen minutes late to see a movie because he couldn’t decide if he wanted to wear long sleeves or short sleeves. I told him it’s gonna be cold in there. It’s always cold in the theater. You’d think he listened.”

Brian: “I didn’t. Thus, we had to sneak into another showing...”

5. WHO IS THE MOST ORGANISED AND WHO IS THE MESSIEST?

Brian: “I am the messiest person alive. In our first apartment, John made a little study area for me.”

John: “I don’t remember a time where I saw the floor because papers, books, clothes... name it, it was there or on the desk. I’ve tried cleaning it up but then Brian got mad at me because he couldn’t find his notes.”

Brian: “Listen, when I got into my major, I needed to keep everything because, you never know.”

John: “We still have those books. It’s been... 3 years?”

Brian: “As much money I had to pay for them, holy shit. I digress.”

John: “I gave up after awhile and let it be, but I at least picked up the clothes and shoes. Brian claimed that he can find whatever in the chaos he made.”

Brian: “I’m jealous of John’s organization skills. I mean, he has to with all the tools he’s gotta keep track of.”

6. WHO IS THE BIGGER FLIRT? (FLIRTS THE MOST?)

(They look at each other.)

John: “Brian flirts on complete accident.”

Brian: “How so?”

John: “Your eyelashes, for one thing. You bat them. And then you have this specific voice. I call it your nurse voice.”

Brian: “Nurse voice? You don’t know what I sound like when I work!”

John: “I imagine it to be soft and gentle, like this. ‘Excuse me, can you tell me where the candles are? (in normal voice) and then you smile and whatnot. Every guy you ask for assistance, well... there’s an effect.

Brian: “Huh. Didn’t know that. John is... a bad flirt. Let me take that back, when he’s not thinking about it, he’s okay. When he is...”

John: “Before we started dating, I’d try to flirt and I wondered why Brian never really responded. Turns out I try too hard. And he knows this because I put more bass in my voice and then he can’t understand me. (laughs)”

7. WHO DOES THE MOST COOKING?

John: “I have to do the cooking, or else Brian will die of starvation.”

Brian: “John. C’mon.”

John: “He has a habit of just... not eating. Especially when he gets busy or when he’s really focusing on something. And during that time, he’ll eat like, a granola bar. That’s no calories and no energy. Or junk food. I’ve been cooking since I was 11, and I cook actual meals.”

Brian: “Are you gonna tell the story? I feel like you are.”

John: “I’m gonna. So, about a year and a half ago, I’m at work, I get a call from the hospital, where Brian works. I’m his emergency contact, so I’m freaking out. I get there, this jerk is in one of the beds. Turns out that he’s been living off of caffiene for three days and haven’t eaten in a day and a half, AND, been on 14-hour shifts. Oh, and haven’t slept since last year.”

Brian: “We’re still understaffed and... shit happens. I had to get a couple shots of adenosine, I passed out from low blood sugar...”

John: “I may have yelled at someone about his schedule. When we got home, Brian told me that he didn’t have time to eat. Even when he gets back. So, I started meal preps. Nutrient dense. I even asked his supervisor a couple of times if I could take him down to the cafeteria so he could actually eat so he’ll have energy to take care of his patients.”

Brian: “I just don’t have the time. Or, I’m not able to make the time that I need. John’s schedule is more stable than mine, so he does the cooking. Or I will starve.”

8. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT KIDS AND DO YOU WANT THEM? IF SO HOW MANY?

(John looks at Brian with a very pointed look)

Brian: “What?”

John: “Nothing, nothing...”

Brian: “We’ve talked about kids, and... John wants ‘em, I’m on the fence. But he understands that. (John nods) I love kids, but not right now. That’s a huge step, and right now, I don’t think we’re stable enough. We’re still pretty young, y’know.”

John: “Yeah, I’m not in a rush and you’re right, we’re young. On the record? Three. At least one daughter.”

Brian: “The real question is, how are we gonna address... you’re not calling yourself Papa.”

John: “Why not? I like the ring of it. Papa John.”

Brian: “Ugh...”

9. WHO WEARS THE PANTS IN THE RELATIONSHIP?

(John twiddles his thumbs)

John: “We try to keep it even. But... Brian is pretty bossy.”

Brian: “I am not. A little bit.”

John: “Let’s put it this way, any major decision, I run it past him and if he says no or maybe, I just... drop it. Brian tends to do it and then tells me after the fact. He hasn’t done it in a while.”

Brian: “I try not to, but I’m also compensating for years of not being assertive. I’m just taking it out on poor John.”

John: “It’s alright, honey. I enjoy it when you wear the pants.” (He winks.)

Brian: “John.”

John: “Huh?”

10. WHAT’S YOUR PARTNER’S LEAST FAVOURITE HOUSEWORK TASK?

Brian: “You know what? I’m not sure. I woudn’t say that John enjoys all of it, but I think he’s just indifferent to it. He’s a hands on kind of guy.”

John: “Cleaning the fridge.”

Brian: “Oh.”

John: “I’ve found a lot of science experiments in there. I made the grave mistake of opening up tupperware that sat in there for... six months. Threw up in the sink because the smell was so horrendous.”

Brian: “Ew.”

John: “I tell Brian to empty whatever he has leftover in his lunchbox into the trash. Each time he’s left something in there, he forgets it.”

Brian: “Sorry...”

John: “I do most of the chores, but Brian and laundry? Forget it. He’ll wash it and y’know, put it in the drier, but that’s it.”

Brian: “I admit, I’m lazy. I just pull out what I need from it. Even if I manage to put it in the basket, the cat gets into it and I just leave her there.”

11. WHAT WAS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICED ABOUT EACH OTHER?

Brian: “John’s eyes. It’s hard not to notice them. They were sad looking, but the rest of him wasn’t. I honestly thought they were contacts until he proved me wrong by touching his eye. Eugh.”

John: “They’re amber. Extremely rare in humans. Light hits it right, they look like gold. It freaks people out when I look at ‘em too long, so I try not to do that. I use that to my advantage before a match though; I always see them squirm just for a second.”

Brian: “They’re goregous though.”

John: “Hmm. I noticed how small Brian was when I first saw him. I mean, I wasn’t much taller or bigger than him at the time, but man, Brian, you were tiny. A strong gust could’ve knocked you over.”

Brian: “If you saw pictures of me back then and compared to me now, you’d be shocked by the difference. My growth spurt happened but then I was a bean pole. Even in college. Hell, I didn’t really start gaining weight until a couple of years ago. I needed a lot of sandwiches.”

12. WHAT DOES YOUR PARTNER DO THAT PISSES YOU OFF?

Brian: “John is stubborn about a lot of things, but when I have to tell him to slow down and scale it back when he’s training for a match, tournament, whatever, he just... he won’t listen.”

John: “Here we go.”

Brian: “He can be obsessive and single-minded. John will train himself to the bone. It’s happened before.”

John: “I do what it takes to win. You know that.”

Brian: “I know I’ve probably told this story before, but this nut broke three of his ribs during a match. He went on to finish it. He won. I don’t know how. After that, he collapses. I’m freaking out. One of his ribs punctured his lung--”

John: “--it wasn’t that big--”

Brian: “--and he was hospitalized. It took him three months. Would’ve been two but he caught pnuemonia trying to get back to it because he felt fine. John, I love you, but you have to let your body heal and recover or you’re gonna breakdown faster than you want to.”

John: “Oh, like you haven’t done that before. Brian used to pull so many all nighters when we were in college. One point, he didn’t sleep for three days. He was so stressed, he had a nervous breakdown. It was bad. And it pisses me off when he doesn’t take care of himself. I get it, you have to take care of a lot of people, but you gotta make time for yourself so you won’t burnout. Sometimes I just... want to swaddle you in a blanket so you can actually sleep.”

Brian: “Man... we’re stubborn, huh?”

13. WHERE’S THE CRAZIEST/WEIRDEST PLACE YOU’VE EVER HAD SEX?

John: (mumbles) “The hospital.”

Brian: “That was... that was interesting. John, that was left field.”

John: “Brian was on-call at the time. Basically, he had to be in the immediate area of the hospital, just in case he’s needed. It’s three days long, and he’s rotated in every... what, three months?”

Brian: “About three months.”

John: “He can’t exactly leave there, but there’s some dorms set aside for it. Bed, fridge. It’s basic. After his shift ended, he called me up wanting some food, so I cooked and brought it over. Here’s the thing. I hate hospitals. Hate’s a strong word; I intensely dislike them. Bad memories. I’m just wanting to go in, get out. But, Brian’s here. He knows about it. For whatever reason, I asked for a tour.”

Brian: “I have keys, and it was after hours, so no one was around. I explained what was in the room and, y’know answered questions he had. We get back, and John’s... bothered.”

John: “I told him about some dreams I had. Uh, they took place in the hospital and... it was very, very kinky. Let’s go with that.”

Brian: “The way he described everything, I just...”

John: “We fucked, and it was the hottest thing. Top 3.”

Brian: “We learned too... and, uhm...” (laughs) “Yeah, I learned something about John that I wasn’t expecting at all, but I was happy to oblige.”

John: “And five minutes later, he got paged so, we didn’t get to let everything sink in.”

14. DO YOU KNOW YOUR PARTNER’S LOVE LANGUAGE? IF YES, WHAT IS IT?

Brian: “Love language... oh! I’ve read about this! John’s language is... how does this work again? His language is... he does things for me so I don’t have to worry about it. Chores, errands. He doesn’t like to talk about it, he just does it. And I’m forever grateful for him. Thank you. (Brian kisses him on the cheek. John smiles.)

John: “And, Brian’s language is touch. I know it’s a part of his job too, but... after a hard match and I’m busted up good no matter what the outcome is, he’s always there for me. His presence makes everything better. Even if I’ve lost. His touch keeps me grounded, makes sure I’m alright. That’s comforting and that’s pretty much what I need.”

Brian: “That and preventing him from doing anything dumb.”

John: “Of course.” (Laughs)

15. WHERE DO YOU SEE THE 2 OF YOU IN 10 YEARS?

John: “Ten years? Married. Kids? Maybe. More cats? Probably.”

Brian: “We don’t know how Spaghetti would handle that... yes on everything else.”

#ts4 #ts4 simblr #oc: john #oc: brian #oc pair: healing hands #tagged in #a text post #non sims #couple tag interview

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steve0discusses · 7 years ago

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Yugioh Ep8 S1: Pharaoh’s Nietzsche Problems

I figured this would be a good show to recap since it’s got maybe about 5 minutes of content an episode...usually. But, the thing about Yugioh is that when it needs to move plot, it really moves a lot of plot. Quite a bit happens this episode, it’s a long recap, so lets just get to it. Starting with Keiba’s brother, Mokuba.

And no, we haven’t missed anything--he’s just secretly been here the entire time.

What’s kind of neat about Pegasus’ help is that they are reoccurring characters. This guy with the mustache. The one with the double spike mullet. They are very flat characters, but their presence asks a lot of questions. In this case it’s “do you really want to befriend Mokuba or something? What’s with this silver platter service? Do you guys all hang out? Do you all go to the beach together in your time off and like read magazines with your sunglasses on?”

And back in the largest drawing room and all of it’s slight perspective errors that are off just enough to cause me great pain, Pegasus is enjoying his weird ass cheese meal.

When informed that his victim has escaped, he’s not exactly concerned. He’s got cameras all over the island. Also, it’s an ISLAND with only one boat to stow away on and it is nicely guarded. So he figures he should check out how the duels are going with the island computer system. Because ya, of course there’s a camera every five feet on this deserted island. This guy is about one step removed from a Bond Villain.

Speaking of, Yugi is back to walking aimlessly around the forest with his buddies, just biding his time and blissfully unaware of the karmic retribution soon coming to him because of something his other half did.

And they run into my brother’s favorite character, double spike mullet man. He’s got a name but for the life of me I will never remember. His weird thing is that he can’t hold someone a normal way. He usually holds them like teddy bears.

Tristan finally demonstrates why he’s a member of the crew and it really threw me for a loop. Tristan has bizzare gorilla strength--but only occasionally. And predictably he gets soundly kicked by this very nimble double-spiked mullet man, who might be legit invincible.

And because the Yugi crew can’t not, they decide to take heart and do some justice, like they always do. This episode is like a big caveat for “always do the right thing, though sometimes the right thing would be to leave it alone because you aren’t as good or smart as you think you are, and you might only make things worse with your ineptitude.”

So, they decide to use the best strategy they could think of in order to catch the chip-napper, which was to just kinda...wait around or something. Turns out they aren’t very smart, which I’m really starting to think may not be entirely their fault since Yugi has only half a brain (though I’m starting to think it’s more a 20-80 Yugi-Pharaoh mix) and the rest are constantly exposed to Pharaoh psychic powers, which must be confusing. They actually do talk--in great detail--about how dumb Joey Wheeler is through the length of this episode, I just didn’t cap it.

Luckily, Mokuba wasn’t exactly hiding so we very quickly cut to the chase, although it appears Yugi doesn’t really get who this, he’s just got a card addiction and sees dueling as a great way to solve Nearly Any Problem. Including how to deal with theft.

Ah Joey, the Cassandra who called it first at the haunted Pharaoh necklace Maybe Possessing His Best Friend’s Mind.

Surprisingly, Seto Keiba’s awake. I just assumed he was in a hospital bed these past 7 episodes. But, apparently he’s walking around...sort of. He got a heavy dose of depression symptoms from the mind-wipe, and that’s not the sort of thing that this show tries to hide.

A lot of kid shows try to tread on this territory. But, this is the only one I’ve seen that goes HARD into mental illness without watering it down into some sort of cute metaphor like Elsa and her ice magic. Kieba doesn’t know how to Keiba anymore. He doesn’t want to do what he used to do. He doesn’t want to be who he used to be. He lost the thing that gave him passion and he’s PISSED.

And because it’s Yugioh, it’s gotta get Pretty Dark For A Kids Show, and so Keiba walks out of their life and puts all of his very real adult responsibilities on his very little brother who does not understand why.

While this is actually a pretty accurate portrayal of what depression can do to a family, I just wanna note that they chose to go this route. Usually in a kids show, when a character is “cured” of evil, it’s replaced with something else. Usually, it’s replaced with the goodness that character already had, deep down inside. Maybe a goodness they had as a child. In the case of Keiba...he apparently didn’t have that goodness to begin with.

Parts of Keiba are just GONE and Pharaohs take is “I fixed him, so you should be happy now.” Like, I have no idea if this show supports Pharaoh or actually wants to portray this as a character flaw, but I assume we’ll find out more later.

Also, remember how I said that Pegasus was once removed from a Bond Villian? Well, he crossed the one degree in a foot-note flashback.

I had to rewind when I watched this because this whole thing about “I’ll just kidnap him and run the company that way” was so...illegal? Even for a kid’s show it’s so roundabout. I mean we’re dealing with a Psychic so why not just mind control one of the Kiebas? O well. And then there’s the other thing--because Yugi embarrassed Keiba Corp by beating Seto, Pegasus has to prove he’s a better card player in order to seal this shady business deal. For...some reason?

Meanwhile, Pharaoh turns himself into a Philosophy 101 major’s first thesis about Nietzsche, as he makes himself the sole definer of what is good and evil and basically ignores what anyone lesser than him might say on the subject because he is Pharaoh and Pharaohs are Right.

Does he care about what he did to Mokuba and his family? Maybe later, but he certainly didn’t really care this episode. He just seems annoyed that other people aren’t like gun-ho about his “just wipe em clean” theory when it’s like, dude, does the medicine really outweigh the cure here? You gave the guy depression.

And although the show keeps saying Keiba was evil--we didn’t see much evidence of that because this all went down in Episode 1. Maybe that’s a lot of my problem in getting to like Pharaoh. I just gotta trust him that Keiba’s evil, but the worst thing I saw him do was tear up a card that Grandpa’s heart was connected to. Keiba still doesn’t even believe in that folktale heart of the cards stuff so should he be judged on that?

This blog just came off of occasionally recapping Once Upon a Time, which is obsessed with “where does good/evil come from?” and so to see this same trope of “We’ll just remove everything evil and it’s fixed!” explored again in another show--I dunno, we’ll see if Yugioh can do a better job. The bar is set pretty low because Once totally botched this.

My opinion: this mind-wipe seems pretty temporary since it’s not like Keiba chose to get it done, but we’ll see how it goes.

I was honestly surprised to see a show like this actually deliver a good take on the Sailor Moon Moral Savior trope, where she waves her moon healing wand, and evil characters are just “good” in the flash of an eye and all problems are solved and she is heralded as this wonderful savior.

Like seriously last episode was about stabbing the moon with a stone robot, how did we get here from that?

Meanwhile, back on the island, They’ve decided to do the right thing and it’s screwed them yet again because sometimes the only way to truly fix something when you screw up, is to just never have done it. Sometimes we do bad things thinking that if we get caught we can just fix it later--but there’s a lot of things that aren’t fixable. Sometimes people won’t be available to say sorry to. Sometimes you can’t return what you’ve taken, let it be star chips, time away from your little brother, or actual pieces of someone’s soul. Sometimes you just have to live with that.

Just a quick reminder that last episode revolved around eating fish for lunch.

Mokuba has such a strong neck now because of all these weird arm grabs. Also, I just realized Double Spike Mullet Man also has Big O type eyebrows and it’s something.

speaking of freaking too late

I mean I’m not even going to pretend that’s the real Keiba because youknow it’s a dark show but it hasn’t gone that dark. With the exception of our main character who IS half a zombie but man it’s always nice to see Pharaoh get a good ol slap in the face when he’s on his insufferable God kick.

Anyway, next week we duel a zombie and also find out how this is even possible. I admit I did not see the zombie twist coming that was...I feel like I use the word “unexpected” in every recap but here we are.

#Yugioh recap #fair warning: this is a lot of plot #ep8 s1 #tw mental illness #tw depression #yeah you read that right this show is gonna dive alllllll into that #humor #yugioh #yugi moto #joey wheeler #tea #tristan #photo recap #recap #why is there a zombie now????#mokuba #seto keiba #kieba #I'll never spell kaiba correctly

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choisgirls · 8 years ago

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How would the rfa and Saeran react to MC being an irl princess of some foreign country? Like... honest to goodness royalty? Thanks!

A/N: I hope this was everything you wanted! I don’t really know much about royalty so I just kinda rolled with it.. If it’s not good I’m sorry! Anyway, if there are parts that don’t make sense i’M SO SORRY I HAVE A FEVER but i’m using this time to write requests because my bby followers deserve it. Sorry for being gone for so long! Thank you all for the support you give us, 404 and I are working hard on requests right now

*YOOSUNG

this poor boy had no idea, he doesn’t pay muchattention to pop culture like that

one day you invite him over to play games atyour house because you have a super huge tv and you knew he’d love that!

when he’s at the gates of your mansionhouse, he calls you because there’s no way this can be your house???

“MC, are you pranking me??? It was bad enoughlast time when you put toothpaste in my oreos!”

“Just come in, you dork”

when he hears the gate buzz, he finally realizes that you’re rich as hell

it all makes sense now??? You always take himout to super expensive restaurants and for Christmas you got him an amazinggaming computer???

he’s about to faint oh my god yOU’RE SO RICH

when he’s roaming around the hallways of yourmansion looking for your room (he refused the butler’s help, he could do ithimself), hE SEES A PICTURE OF YOU AND YOUR PARENTS AND YOU’RE ALL WEARINGCROWNS???

nah, no, there’s no way you’re royalty, you guysprobably did a photo shoot, there’s no way this is possible

wait isthat an entire row of pictures where your dad is meeting important people

is thatBarack Obama? Is that the pRIME MINSTER OF SOUTH KOREA???

he faints

when he wakes up, he finds himself in a huge bedand you’re sitting next to him playing a game

“You’re finally awake! I’ve told you that youneed to take care of yourself, did you even eat today?”

“MC ARE A YOU A QUEEN?”

“No, but I will be in the future”

Aaand he faints again

Once he finally gets used to the idea of youbeing a princess, it makes so much more sense to him!

You’ve always sounded really polite and elegantwhen you speak, and you handle the RFA fundraisers so easily, no matter whatcrisis comes???

He loves seeing you all dressed up, you’re socute and beautiful!!!

You’re his Princess Zelda

*ZEN

He thought your name sounded familiar when youintroduced yourself in the chat, but he didn’t really think about it

But when he finally gets to meet you, he’s in somuch denial???

It can’t be, a princess fell in love with him

If you thought his ego was big before, it’sthe size of the Titanic now

It’s even bigger when you tell him youwatched his movies before you talked to him on the app

It never really hits him until you go shoppingwith him one day and you buy him a Louis Vuitton suitcase aS IF IT’S NOTHING???

wAIT YOU’RE BUYING LIKE 5 BAGS TOO???

Like yeah he makes decent money from acting, butholy hell you’re rich

He honestly loves this so much though

You two are an amazingly dressed power couple!

You’ll take over the political world and he’lltake over the pop culture world

You end up giving him “prince” lessons

You teach him how to deal with the pressure ofthe public and how to speak politely but firmly

You make him walk with books on his head andrecord him even though that’s something you never had to do

You get him to quit smoking by telling him atrue prince would never do such a thing

He almost cries

HE LOVES DOING PHOTO SHOOTS WITH YOU, HE WILLUSE AN EXCUSE TO BE IN A MAGAZINE WITH YOU

“it’s your half birthday”

“it’s national best friend’s day”

“it’s tHE ANNIVERSARY OF THE DAY WE FIRST DID IT

zen pls no

He wears his future crown at home when no oneis around

He’s really happy that you’re a public figure sohe can flaunt you when you guys go out

*JAEHEE

She knew the second you introduced yourself inthe chatroom!

She’s honestly dazzled, a real life princess???What is this???

But she kept herself in check, she realized youprobably have a lot of people who hound you on a regular basis, she didn’twanna be one of them

But she honestly loves talking to about yourcountry’s political system

With your leadership skills and Jaehee’sorganizational skills, you both work together to implement programs forunderprivileged children

You two are a power couple omg, literallyunstoppable, you two even consider starting clean water projects in othercountries???

Unstoppable

Jaehee considers opening a coffeeshop chainin your country

She loves seeing you dress up!!! You’re soadorable and beautiful in all the elegant clothing

She totally doesn’t take pictures of you whenyou aren’t looking, there’s no way she has an album of 300 pictures of you

She’s really afraid of how the world will reactwhen they find out you two are actually together???

Dumbass tabloids think you two are “gal pals”

But you don’t care, even if you have to stepdown, you don’t care

“Listen Jaehee, I love you. You’re my bestfriend and I would not trade that for the world. If my country wants me to stepdown because I have a girlfriend, I will. I’ll find a life with you because Icannot imagine a life without you.”

tEARS SO MANY TEARS

Jaehee highkey lowkey uses you to meet famouspeople (but she loves you, es okay)

You don’t really mind though, it makes her happy

So you take her to as many events as you can,you want to make her smile as much as you can

You love this precious little bean and you are going to give her the world

*JUMIN

Of course he knew who you were, he wasn’t anuneducated idiot

And while it was nice to know that you weren’twith him for the money

He was kinda disappointed???

You’re a princess, you have the entire world atyour feet

He wanted to spoil you, but you??? Have???Everything you want or need???

But with the help of Zen but with hisbrilliant mind, he was able to come up with stuff he knew you never got!

hE WILL MAKE SO MANY THINGS FOR U

He started making food for you

And yes it tastes terrible at first but it gotbetter after awhile!

At the beginning he was the type to just putthe entire egg with the shell in cake mix

hE’S SO CUTE IN AN APRON OMG

He takes knitting classes???

He knits you everything he possibly can, asweater, scarf, gloves, beanies

He totally doesn’t knit a baby blanket andbaby hat for your future kids

He supports your decision not become queenbecause you decided you wanted to do other than things than run a country

Like be his totally hot secretary

You eventually move into his place and he lowkeyfeels ashamed bc it’s so much smaller than what you’re used to

But you assure him that you prefer his placebecause smaller places feel so much more homey than mansions

You’re actually much busier than Jumin when itcomes to work so he’s always home before you and he spoils you so much

When you come home, you can always expect ashoulder/back massage

There’s always a warm meal that he makes because he’s not letting someone else dosomething for you that he can

When you have really bad days at work, he runs anice, hot bubble bath couple with candles and rose petals

He’s pretty much ur house spouse, who knew Jumincould take on such a domestic role???

But he’s still senpai in the sheets

*SAEYOUNG

Ofc he found out when he did a background searchon you

And he’s so fascinated by you???

You help run a country??? You do so many goodthings

He’ll never understand though

How didsomeone as great as you fall for someone as terrible as him

Everything you do is so great and he’s stuck ina field of work that could get him killed

But with your power, you’re able to get him outof his job

And he’s so, so thankful to you

He doesn’t really let himself be vulnerable infront of you but when you told him you could help him, he cried for hours

What did he do to get someone as amazing you???

He doesn’t know it but you totally gotsomeone to assassinate his dad

You actually help him get a job as an engineer

He hates using you for your connections but heknows he deserves the job, he’s not going to deny his talent and ability

He’s so thankful for you

And he becomes your right-hand man??? Anytimeyou need to make a difficult decision about your country, he’s there for you!!!

He gets a pet monkey so he can comparehimself to Aladdin

“Listen children,,, you don’t know how hard lifewas for me,,, I was a beggar,,, always stealing food to survive,,,”

“Saeyoung, stop lying to the children andactually teach them, I wanted you to get the kids interested in computers”

“I was nothing but a boy with a monkey and amagic carpet,,,”

You two come up with a plan to get kids moreinterested in computers and he’s in charge

He loves teaching all the children! They’re allsilly and goofy like him

He has no idea where he would be without you andhe’s so glad he met you

*SAERAN

This boy has no idea, like none at all

Rika chose you to retrieve the phone, and he wasjust supposed to follow you

And he knows like nothing about pop culture “It’suseless information that’ll take up space in my brain” so he didn’t knowwho you were

He finds out one day when he sees an articleabout you helping open up a school in a third world country???

Like he thought you were amazing before

You were the one who helped him through histherapy, through all the nightmares that plagued his nights, through all thebad thoughts that overwhelmed him

In his head, you’d always been his queen

But it turns out you’re actually a princess?!?!

And youhelp so much around the world

He could deal with you being a princess if itweren’t for the fact that you were a huge philanthropist

You educated women in India about reproductivehealth??? You helped teach disabled children in China??? yOU DONATED 25 MILLIONDOLLARS TO A HOSPITAL IN SEOUL???

He actually killed someone and you helped peoplelive longer and better

He actually avoids you for a few weeks after hefinds out

He’s just having a hard time coming to termswith it? You’re a goddess and he’s thedevil, why are you with him?

But you weren’t having any of it, you literallykicked his door down, you gave him his space and now you were going to talk

He ends up crying in your lap

But you manage to talk it out with him and youmake it very clear that you aren’t goinganywhere

“I love you, okay? You don’t have to understandwhy I do, but you need to know that I do. I don’t care if you think I deservebetter because I choose you, Saeran. Iwill always choose you.”

He eventually decides he wants to help peoplewith you

Yes, he made a huge mistake in the past, onethat he is so sorry for, and he will spend the rest of his life trying to makeup for that

He’s no V, he’ll never be an angel, but he’ssure as hell gonna make the world a less crappy place

He comes up with so many great ideas!

Music programs for underprivileged children!Reading classes for uneducated adults! Programs that help teenagers get workexperience!

He creates so many outreach programs and he’s sohappy that you gave him the chance to do that

Started from the bottom now we’re here

This boy is as clueless as Saeran

Between photography and Rika and being adumbass, he doesn’t pay much attention to the world

· He ends up finding out through Jumin??

“Oh by the way MC’s father is going to bevisiting my father, we’re going to talk about having MC model for one of ourproducts”

“wHAT”

He’s honestly so happy though

You’re such a fantastic person who else couldput up with him pining after Rika for so long and you deserve everything

You deserve all the praise and attention you get

He totally doesn’t fantasize about becoming aprince

And he so doesn’t go around singing Disneysongs

“anD AT LAST I SEE THE LIGHT”

“what was that honey?”

“Thinking about the top 10 things a blind personwill never say”

This boy is such a saint, you two implement aprogram to help disabled children

And not only does he help implement the program,but he actually participates in it???

Crying cause V deserves the world

He becomes your family’s official photographer!

This happens because he was lowkey salty whenyou hired someone else for an event

“Oh you need my help getting something from thehigh shelf??? Why don’t you ask that photographer?”

V pls shut up

But you do drag him to one of your photoshootsand after that he’s as addicted as Zen

You two make such a beautiful couple, how couldhe not be addicted???

He has pictures of you everywhere in hishouse

And he knows how much you love him, he canalways feel it, but he absolutely adoresthe expression on your face when you’re looking at him and seeing it from anoutside perspective makes him want to cry

He loves you so much, you’re his goddess

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