#kinda sucks they dont consider what the post might feel like for someone at a different stage of war trauma

[mothmvn]

i realise fundraising efforts are aimed mostly at westerners and americans specifically, like, very much constructed to go "it's your oblivious western ass's fault if i die, you and your peaceful life need a shock to remember there's trauma in the world". i guess other audiences aren't considered? audiences with existing trauma or survivor's guilt are expected to block this stuff on purpose? idk man but i do have to fast-scroll past a lot of posts these days

[electricpurrs]

i am actually so suspicious of this god damn moth post but i cant find any concrete evidence to prove theres something wrong with it other than my gut feeling and i feel insane

like of course first of all this post is from 2013 and im not really willing to believe any given post from 2013 is true specially when the post is this amazing coincidence of this person coincidentally finding those two coincidentally aesthetically pleasing moths and managing to get them coincidentally snuggling together for a picture. yknow. it does feel too weirdly good to be true

BUT SECONDLY im so weirded out by these two moths specifically.

ok bear with me. the little one is very obviously a rosy maple moth. (which is also coincidentally one of the most famous moths specifically for being pretty)

but im willing to believe any given english speaking tumblrgirl at the time could find one considering they live seemingly accross the united states and canada. fair enough

BUT my problem is the big one. of course everybody even in the notes seems to be classifying it as a luna moth (ALSO a famous moth species for being pretty) you can also feasibly find them in north america, ok.

theres also the point of their lifespans

luna moths as adults live only for about 7-10 days, and i had a harder time finding info for adult rosy maple moths but it seems its about the same

the source of this is an old article from someone actively breeding maple moths x but i believe its the same with moths in general, since they literally dont have mouths and cant eat so they just mate and die.

SO youre gonna have a small time span to find one. both moths are also mainly nocturnal, which makes even weirder that op found both of them during the day.

theres also the point of WHEN are they adults. aka maply moths seem to show from from may through the summer

luna moths though, seem to vary in when they show up depending on place. some do include late may or early june on northern regions, ans a generation in july in central states.

which means you could, feasibly, have a span of about a week or so in may, june or july where both maple moths and luna moths are adults and alive at the same time.

BUT THE POST IN QUESTION IS FROM APRIL 16

thats NOT when adult rosy maple moths show up, much less both of them.

though maybe im just being too pedandic with specific dates and theres margin for variation, but its, again, some real big coincidences

BUT FINALLY theres the fact im suspicious about this luna moth IN THE FIRST PLACE.

i might just be going actually crazy here, but for this we've been assuming the luna moth is the species that exists in north america (otherwise these two wouldnt be in the same place at all)

and like this is what the luna moth looks like

(pictures from wikipedia)

and you see how theyre kinda weird compared to the one in the pic.

the luna moths are mostly green, with much less of this pretty pastel pink of the one on the tumblr post. you could argue they have pink markings but in most pictures i see they seem more like a dark red/brown with a remarkable very thick marking on the wings

you see how the moth in the pic just looks kinda weird. but that can also be from filters or editing to make the photo prettier making the colors different.

(i also think the tail looks weirdly long, but there seems to be variation in the tail length in various luna moth pics ive seen, so i cant speak for sure about that)

(i also cant tell you whether the sizes in comparison to each other are right cause i suck at visualizing size comparisons and its not like theres any other pic on earth of the two together so.)

CONCLUSION: i dont fucking know. i spent an hour looking moths up online and didnt get any reasonable answer to my doubts. i guess in the end THERE is, even if small, a chance of you finding both these boths alive at the same time in the same place so i can fully discredit the op. i give up im going to have breakfast

[yourdaddyfigure]

I feel kinda silly doing this but I dont really have a lot of people to talk to

Ive been kinda talking to this guy i met on here. Weve talked about bdsm stuff and also romantic stuff. I really like him. But hes been mia for a few days. Which I know why and I completely understand his reasons. His friend *just* died and he kinda copes through isolation. I know hes alive bc ive seen him online and hes been posting on here occasionally. And i keep texting him everyday bc he said seeing my face and seeing me be happy helps make him a little happier. But idk. It kinda sucks texting into a void. And i really miss him. And im not mad about it. I completely understand. I even understand that throwing a couple posts a day is easier than having a conversation with someone. Like i super understand and everything.

I guess im just- is it wrong?? To be this sad?? About him not texting? I honestly just really want him to be ok. And id be ecstatic with even just a reaction to the texts i send or some sort of acknowledgment. Im scared that this is going to go on for a long time. I dont know what to do.

Hey, I totally get where you're coming from. It's completely understandable to feel sad and miss someone you care about, especially when they're going through a tough time. It sounds like you have a lot of empathy and understanding for his situation, which is really admirable.

While it's important to give him space to cope with his loss, it's also valid for you to feel a bit frustrated or lonely when you're not getting the same level of communication in return. It's natural to want some sort of acknowledgment or reaction to the texts you send.

Have you considered expressing your feelings to him in a gentle and understanding way? Let him know that you care about him and that you understand he needs time to process his emotions, but also express that you miss him and would appreciate even a brief response or acknowledgment. Communication is key in any relationship, and expressing your needs and concerns can help foster understanding and connection.

Remember, it's important to take care of yourself too. If this situation continues for a long time and you find yourself feeling consistently unhappy or neglected, it might be worth reassessing whether this relationship is meeting your needs. It's important to be with someone who can provide the level of communication and support that you desire.

I hope things get better for both of you, and that he finds the strength to cope with his loss. Take care of yourself, friend, and know that you deserve happiness and support in your relationships.

[romaritimeharbor]

🌻 I AM BACK HELLO i revised only one topic and gave up on studying so... funny. i love math so much frfr.

i saw your wip list and im just happily jumping around saying yippe every second HAHAH some of them sure break my heart ngl the one with arlecchino and la signora??? aphe who hurt you. WHO IM HURT TOO /lh i already want to hug [name] because grieving sure sucks and when youre a child it probably hits even harder because... how do you tell a child that someone is just. dead. gone forever never coming back. it sucks

and yk i also vote for comfort part for pantalone and younger sib reader (<literally suggested this idea). look no i love the angst and hurt BUT LET THEM BE HAPPYY for a little moment..... although i dont know your exact plans for this fic, i would happily read [name] trying to maybe. accept that this is who pantalone now is.. but not like "oh i know he did bad things but this is my brother )):" way but more like... "okay he's not a good person now and there is nothing i can do with it and i have to learn to accept this" kinda way. lot of conflicting feelings not necessary forgiveness but simple acceptance for how life happened and moving on... i like themes like this??? dunno why

the venti and [name] "are we friends in every universe" is already tugging on my heartstrings HAHA i have a feel that they might be in fact friends in every universe but... their friendship doesnt always have a good end. sometimes it ends badly, sometimes it doesnt, but no matter what, they will always find each other... still im interested how youre going to write it 👀

that kafka wip with teen reader... do you know for how long ive been thinking about different uses of her spirit whisper AJHSHD and funnily the very same scenario, with kafka using her powers to calm someone down from a nightmare also popped in my mind!! lowkey jumped on my seat when i saw this wip 😭😭 im so excited for it. gently holds it 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙌🙌🙌🙌

REAL AS FUCK FOR THAT LMAOOOO HELPPPPP

but i am very glad you are interested in my wips heheheh AND IN MY DEFENSE!!!!!!!! IN MY DEFENSE THAT ONE WAS A REQUEST!!!!! SO I DID NOT COME UP WITH IT. MAYBE YOU SHOULD ASK THAT TO THE ANON WHO SENT IT /lh but that fic will be soooo tragic when i do finally write it.

well MAYBE i'll consider it then............. but that is definitely the angle i would write it from!!! definitely not "i know you're terrible but you're my brother and Blood Runs Thicker Than Water" NO!!!!!!! would definitely be more along the lines of "you are terrible and you're my brother. i love you. i hate you. i hate what you've done. but i know you won't change now and there is nothing i can do about that. there is no forgiveness for you here. but i have no choice other than to slowly accept it because i deserve to live happily and not bitterly over someone else's actions, which i cannot control. i do not forgive you. but i accept you because i value my peace."

YESS EXACTLY THAT IS EXACTLY HOW THAT WIP GOES we are together even when we should not be. we live together. we die together. you die and i do not, but a piece of me does, and i almost wish it had been me instead. IT'S SOOOO AUHFGFGHJFH i can't wait to finish and post it honestly hehehe

it was a request from a moot, i believe!!!! and i am also very excited to write that one, because i totally think kafka's spirit whisper would work for mundane things like nightmares too <3

[single-malt-scotch]

really glad you mentioned the whole tonal shift in the life series thing bc that thought was actually what motivated me to make that post. i remember people talking about when the Tonal Shift happened and for me it was 100% when keepinventory was turned on. please ramble some more about it all i would love to hear your thoughts esp wrt death games and whatnot bc i think you pretty much summarized my Exact thoughts better than anyone

yeppp Limlife is where it happened to me. as mentioned i think this worked just fine w limlife, i remember when it first happened and i was unsure, but that was on like. the first death. and when we got to see how much people would die in that series, it made sense.

we have only had one season with it after now, and i can say imo i think it was entirely pointless to secret life. i felt like something was off about that season outside of just the new gimmicks, and i realize that keep inventory means no tension/drama of losing items and surviving which meant that the entire focus on that season was really only the consequences of the main gimmick- the tasks.

and the tasks had next to no consequences until certain circumstances (being red life or getting a hard task-- hard tasks being rare, and red lives being near pointless considering 90% of the server had to get turned at the same time at the very end thus not allowing reds to play out their purpose for long). secret life wasnt trying to be a survival series in the same way, it was trying to be a series that handed players ways to keep surviving in means that werent rooted in minecraft's vanilla survival mechanics. there was barely a threat of death unless it was directing people to die, which takes out any traditional survival all together. where as previous seasons didnt bring in some new system to override the survival provided by the game-- you relied on vanilla survival to survive, not an outside modded gimmick.

SL's only worry was about the tasks and if the tasks werent good/interesting/etc then, well. there may not be much to like about some episodes because it otherwise would just be me watching someone interact with others (to the best of their task related abilities) with little threat of death. SL felt like a fun goofy hang out, which does mean it sucked to watch it. it just means to me that it did not achieve what i wanted to feel about a life season, based on how previous seasons made me feel. i would have wanted to have seen the alliances battles i remember of past seasons, for example, and yes i think something as 'minor' as keep inventory plays into all of this.

i dont point this out to keep hating on SL specifically, but im saying it to express how survival changed and why keep inventory can kinda impact this a lot. what makes a death game isnt just the threat of dying for good, its also knowing that you really need to try to survive. and when your armor and weapons are handed right back to you, you lose the fear of when its coming to get you. the anxiety of running back to your friends, or hoping to recover your gear. you dont want to die, not just because you lost one life but also because you know youre not out of the water yet when you respawn. if you lose all your armor when you die, you have to keep worrying until you get back on your feet. it might force you to find help and make new friends. who knows?

maybe that seems harsh but hey, that has never been an issue before, so i dont feel like the concern should be taken to 'what if they die too fast because they keep losing gear?' theyre capable. if anything im a tad worried that the want for content creation feeding into the audience will take priority over the original intention of the game and its survival aspect. i wasnt a fan of SL because i felt like it was constantly feeding the audience things with little focus on it being the kind of survival focused series we had seen prior, and keep inventory + the system of tasks kinda just turned off every other part of what made the older seasons survival/death games imo.

what i need is factions/groups/etc all teaming up and fighting and big battles and desperately clambering away to hide from death. or crawling to the feet of their enemies begging to join because they lost everything. i want them to struggle through each recovery. you die, you lose everything, thats the consequence of playing.

[hiro-doodlez]

HELP I can't see my therapist for a couple of weeks and am currently having something i like to dub "yet another hiro autism crisis" where i contemplate if my therapist gave me the right diagnoses (she has told me she is not certified to give autism diagnoses, and instead more things like depression) Right now, I am diagnosed with ADHD, Anxiety/ Social anxiety (its still up in the air, DPDR, and depression. idk if that matters SO NOW I LIST RANDOM THINGS that could be considered symptoms or not I DUNNO HOW TO DO THISS feel free to ask questions about some of the crap i say here half of it doesn't make sense

First off, I have a general trouble understanding most social situations, and struggle sometimes when talking about practically anything. For example, earlier today my step-mom basically said she wasnt going to finish her food and let my brother have it. my brother said he would leave 2, he didnt (BOZO) and later after he left she found the empty container and said something along the lines "HAH! I thought he said he was gonna leave me 2!" and immdeiately without thinking i went "hey! you said he could have as many as he can! and hes working 10 hours a day and needs his energy!!" half jokingly and she got mad at me for it, we got into a mini argument over that.

When saying something thats serious, i tend to make a joke around it and i have NO CLUE why. I just CANT be openly upset around people. For example, when being told about something that happened to me as a kid that NEVER SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED RAGRHAGHAG, instead of having a breakdown and being reasonably upset, i burst out into giggles and laughs while my brother was just so fucking confused on what was wrong. It was kinda like i couldn't stop and it fucking sucked

The TINIEST things can upset me, and other HUGE things can have little to no effect. Its so incredibly annoying

I have INTENSE fluxuations in interests, hobbies, and motivation for certain projects. I will start on this huge project that im INCREDIBLY excited for, and then a week later have little to no interest in continuing it.

I make everything about my personality a joke, i dont know why. EVERYTHING i tend to say or do has to be funny. it's like i dont want people to see beneath that

I fluctuate in personality A TON, especially depending by the people i am around. At school, I'm the quiet kid. I don't talk to anyone except maybe 5 people, but other than that i tend to stay completely silent. It could be a mask? i dunno. but when im at home, ask my brothers, i am BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS. it might also be me just getting some of my energy out? RRAHHH I DUNNOOO

I will simply forget to do very important things to the point of endangering my health. Like forgetting to eat for a day straight. my step-mom thinks i have an ED AND I DONT. i literally just keep realizing suddenly at like 6 pm all i have eaten is a couple of skittles and pringles.

i have no clue how talking to people works and im constantly winging it. I forget how to have friends especially how to even talk or interact with them and its so stupid. I can't ever start a conversation with someone without having at least 5 minutes going "am i weird for this am i being annoying am i being clingy".

If i say even one thing wrong i WILL be thinking about it for DAYS thinking about how they probably hate me now and im a terrible person ect. ect.

I tend to hide many of my traits (especially good ones) because i am incredibly embarrassed and never want anyone to EVER compare themselves to me.

im a people pleaser does that count

i tend to get extremely upset if i get told one bad thing about something that i like or just a project i have. For example, I had this fandom silly man poll because i just wanted to find out who was silly. Then one of my friends just posted something like "i hate fandom polls theyre the worst" and i just lost complete motivation afterwards. I haven't touched that blog in WEEKS at this point becuase i simply have no more interst

I have had a meltdown or 2 before, and they both stemmed from being told about how i was a bad person. i don't know why the hell thats a thing

I can't stay focused on one thing for long periods of time (ADHD cough cough) Like literally earlier i was watching this video about autistic traits and i kept having to back the video up because i would get sidetracked in my mind to the point where im just not listening anymore

if im not paying attention to people sometimes I SWEAR theyre saying "ffajaleifnanamzmaldafjkjeffnma" and as soon as i start noticing it suddenly theres words again. hate that.

i have times where it can kinda seem like i cant speak, and if i do everything comes out wrong and jumbled. Like when my autistic friend would have a sensory related meltdown, i would never know what to do and end up going dead silent because of being so mad at myself for not knowing how to help (any tips actually hahahahaHOW DO I HELP)

i have little idea who the hell i am. had a mini-crisis because i didn't know what my favorite color was because before, it was the color my friend with synesthesia said i was and i just went with that (i think its purple or blue i have no fucking clue JFALJK)

i will have spikes of random motivation on one thing. like learning lanugauges, i will have a week where its so easy to get like 10 lessons on duolingo done a day and then the next week its a struggle to get even one done.

i focus better with distractions ??? I can't focus without music and tend to do better on reading tests if everyone else in the class is talking ???

i remember the most random things about certain things. Like, i could not for the LIFE of me remember what color that one persons hair that i was talking to for 15 minutes straight. but i can remember that they had pink socks on. WHY IS THAT WHAT I REMEMBER??

I hate organization and doing the same thing every day. i NEED chaos. My brother a little bit ago helped me out and got me to make a personal to-do list. i couldnt do it a single day even though the things were extremely simple like "brush hair, make bed, eat breakfast ect."

i zone out a LOT. especially when people bring up topics im uncomfortable with or conflict with my current feelings. i go into a kinda little talking (not nonverbal, i can still talk) or just confused state that freaking sucks.

when im in a high energy mood i tend to not feel.. reall???? I do many things overboard and annoy the heck out of my brothers. i always feel terrible afterwards.

Idk if this is weird to say but i tend to get really off put when people im comfy with get haircuts or major changes in their appearance. I never like the change no matter what the hair cut looks like. i dont have any clue why

i have no clue whether or not any of this is real or if I have managed to make it all up in my head. (bascially when i was younger i wanted attention and ended up faking depression for a year straight and was an absolute ass to my friends and blah blah blah)

[mysicklove-main]

Is there anything else you wanna rant about with “your new pack” ?

u just want me to make-out with u don't u 🙄 🙄🙄

but yes sure i can talk for hours, especially since im working on the next chpt currently. (might take bout a week to post tho considering im so busy)

for everyone else not reading this fic, I will post your requests and other stuff after i finish the next chapter!!!

to begin with, i dont know how the hell to make everyone have equal amount of time shown. I want everyone to like all characters, but i accidentally write way more for specific characters than others which is unfair i feel to my (very fictional characters who dont give a fuck) boys. for example, think bout how much we see Keigo compared to Izuku. Its just hard to do it with 5 different ppl so.

I want to rewrite all my beginning chapters bc I feel like i rushed it thinking it was going to be a short story. But here i am, 79k+ words in and the beginning i feel is so so so bad. like i can't even reread it bc i cringe. but i am also so lazy and rlly dont want to rewrite it lol so i just pretend it doesn't exist.

comments, mean way too much to me. Like all writers i love getting a notification that someone commented on my fic, but now its getting to the point where im like, "damn this chpt didn't get many comments, did i do something wrong?" so that's embarrassing and i def need to chill and be grateful for what i have. Im working on it.

Eijiro, Izuku, Shoto are so fucking hard to write and Katsuki and Keigo are so easy to write. Its so strange that im struggling with Izuku, bc he is my favorite, but im trying to show that he is a little fucked up from his past but I also dont want to write him as super quiet. Idk i feel like i kinda brushed off his trauma and i didn't mean to. so that sucks. with Eijiro his actions are easy, simply cause i wrote him as someone to be very touchy and affectionate off the bat. plus he talks alot so. but his internal thoughts are so fucking difficult to write. like what are you thinking bout?? you know she is your mate, but he is trying to get his best friend to get with you. it is so hard. Shoto is the complete opposite. I dont know how the hell he would react in different situations, bc he is more quiet out of the boys, but I want to also show that he is also trying his best too. his deranged thoughts are easy to do, but everything else is a wreck. i think he is the hardest to write for by far.

speaking of shoto his character is so inconsistent. idk if ppl notice, but i do. in the beginning his is more obsessive and has the most negative thoughts. he kinda crazy, u feel me? now, i dont write as much of his creepy perverted thoughts. i just kinda forget to. so now he feels kinda bland and i need to figure out how to bring back some excitement back to his character. maybe this chapter ill go back to the creepy, obsessive, thoughts. it was so fun to write. this all goes back to how hard shots is to write.

I switch perspectives alot and I hope ppl understand what's going on and who is thinking what. I think I have a mix of second person (obvi, with the "you") and 3rd person. bc i narrate others reactions to the situations, and kinda treat Y/N as a character in the story, not as your self. does that make sense??? idk.

since hybrid stories are my fav, i would like to write more, but in different scenarios. for example, another Y/N x Wolf! Katsuki fic, but this katsuki would be a diff one from the other wolf katsuki in Your New Pack. Like i did with the Bunny! Izuku Headcannons. That izuku is diff than Your New Pack one. but would ppl be bored of it?? ik i will never lol.

i wish i could post a poll on who ppl like the best on ao3, just bc im curious who has the most fanboys. (it would prob be keigo tho lol)

i got bored of katsuki wearing the muzzle in the house, so i just trashed it. def poor writing thing to do, but idc at this point, it would throw off my plans for chpts if he was always wearing the muzzle.

sorry i talk alot, but hey u asked for it.

[verawhisk]

my dear friend. i am so mentally exhausted and have shed literal tears tonight. i am so happy. i will catch up on everything you’ve posted for tonight in the morning, but what were ur thotz abt tonight <3

omg hi you dont have to do that! you’re too nice to me rosey. besides i turned into a little autistic creature last night lolol, sorry y’all had to witness that. but im so glad you saw that card! it was INSANE!! i was so prepared for it to be not that great because 2022 has kinda sucked in terms of fights yknow? just lots of dubious, weird moments with injuries and strange decisions within the organization and ofc its not the fighters’ faults but still i was so ready for this to be bad

luckily it was actually amazing all the way from the start of prelims to the end of the main event!! it was incredible!! they said it broke the record for first round finishes! i just cant believe the show they all put on… they have so much heart and courage, every single one of them

i was actually considering not buying the ppv this time because 280 was so bad LOL could you imagine if i didnt buy it? i would have missed possibly the best card this entire year

first of all i was so overcome with joy when dan got the win over puelles, i was damn near crying hahah. i mean a win over costco ryan hall is not SUPER impressive but who cares?? THAT’S MY BOY!! HE’S SO CUTE!! and i want him in perth dammit. give him his flowers dana. (fun fact: i started watching mma mainly because i watched the conor vs. urijah season of tuf and i thought ryan hall was so cool LMAO)

(this crusty ahh drawing from 2021…. yup i thought he was super cool and im kinda sad that he’s less active than other fighters but if i were offered a fight with ryan hall i’d probably turn it down too)

as for frankie vs. gutierrez my stomach dropped when he landed that knee bruh. what the hell was that? bro HAD to know that was frankie’s last fight and to do that to him in front of his family is just sick… i mean good on him for not sandbagging just for someone else’s career to go out on a nice note but did you have to finish him that brutally?? idk man maybe im just a casual but he deserves more than that

poirier vs. chandler… im not even exaggerating when i say that fight made me nearly puke and pass out bro. i got fucked up sweat glands so your girl can’t sweat but if she could she woulda been DRIPPING from head to toe last night LOL. guys i think the reason i went so crazy was because i actually mentally prepared myself for the fight to be bad, for real. that’s genuinely what i did. i went into the fight telling myself that there was a well and good possibility that michael might actually just wrassle him into a decision and i was all good with it because i was still gonna like them no matter what. but HOLY CRAP i need to remind myself to never doubt them ever again because that was AMAZING!!!! start to finish was just an absolute dog fight. they looked so exhausted and broken and blood was pouring everywhere and michael was tossing dustin like a bag of flour only for said bag of flour to start raining punches on him (a la justin gaethje lol) and it was fucking incredible and i cant believe it really happened. not to mention the alvarez-chandler-gaethje-poirier circle of violence is finally complete hahah omg it feels unreal. and i can't believe dustin finished ALL of them.. he's so classy and talented and handsome lul he's really the perfect fighter

but hol on i wanna mention michael cheating because i’m not gonna lie that really made me question him?? not that iron michael chandler cares about what some delusional mma fan in canada thinks about him LMAO but still he always carries himself like a professional athlete everywhere he goes and he seems to pride himself on his ability to stand out among the fighters who don’t have the speaking style or the business etiquette that he does, so when he went into the fight and started pounding on the back of his head and actually HOOKING HIS FINGERS on the inside of dustin’s mouth trying to make him show his neck, it made me scratch my head because why are you behaving like an olympic athlete in front of the press only to go in the cage and treat your opponent like an abused farm animal lmao?

though im ngl… the idea of this polite, charismatic, american psycho type dude entering the cage and turning on mean ape mode is actually fucking hilarious? and he’s kind of more interesting to me now?? so i guess it doesn’t really matter that my opinion of him went down a little hahah silly observation but there’s my two cents. i’m still super impressed by both of them and they both have my heart at the end of the day

during weili vs carla i was playing runescape. i’m so sorry. i was just tryna level up my fishing i really have no clue what happened other than that weili finished carla because she’s really awesome and she kicks ass and i feel really bad that i wasn't paying attention IM SORRY LMAO!! my social credit score is in massive danger rn

izzy vs pereira had me biting my nails into little shreds because i could feel exactly what they were feeling. alex is just one of those “one clean hit and you’re out” fighters but izzy is obviously still a master of striking so watching those exchanges was like watching two people balancing on a plank over shark-infested waters lolol it was crazy nerve wracking. however y’all know that i was rooting for alex so i am super duper happy and i can’t wait to see who challenges him next!! tbh i’d prefer anybody but khamzat because if he really does move up to middleweight and becomes alex’s first challenger he’s fucked lmao cries… please start training in dagestan alex thank u <3

thanks for asking me ahh it really means a lot to me that you actually care about what i think. :D let me know what you thought about it too!!

[unlimitedhorsepower]

me writing my fanfic

honestly though i frequently think abt how many details i reference as truth are like actual canon things but theyre more obscure details from peripheral materials rather than in the anime.

but also some details i made up. would love to talk about my reasonings for those details. some of them are esoteric. but some of them are just based on reality to me. i refuse to call yuris mom "origa" bc it was the artist name of that one russian singer whose real name was olga and whos just known in japan for a bunch of anime collabs

its also my truth (but not totally unreasonable imo) that olga immigrated to sternbild and her surname is just "petrov" specifically due to simplifications for required forms/some minor mixups. not even petrova and nothing given wrt patronymic vs surname but i dont think sternbilds legislative system wouldve understood patronymics and its not rly important.

what is interesting to me is that olga petrova was a real person (well. im sure this has been the name of many people. but bear with me), a vaudeville performer, who actually adopted the name as a stage name. ive always felt that olga was running from something and wouldve explained why she has nobody else to care for her than her son. and nobody had ever heard of her either.

olga petrov is a bit of a fake name isnt it...

being a woman with no family nor connections in an unfamiliar city is such a ripe ground for getting an abusive fuck of a husband. i really doubt that mr. legend suddenly became abusive once his NEXT power started failing. i just think olga didnt have anyone else and she was willing to overlook all of his flaws for that long as someone who was rich and famous and kept a roof over her head etc

what choice does she have? also gives more basis to how nobody seems to ever acknowledge olga (or yuri) exist. i feel like mr. legend couldve just presented olga as his girlfriend of the day (who has a son) to maverick and he wouldve been like okay so...whatever...

and they never talked bc olga ~kept out of the way~ when her husband has people over or is on the phone etc. and this dynamic gets worsened when mr. legend starts to lose his powers bc he might not have a NEXT power anymore but what he has is total control and power over olga.

^ruminations of an unwell person who thinks narratives actually care about woman characters. objectively the name was given bc the writers had heard origa once LMFAO and petrov is a common surname

anyway. personally i still think it would be interesting if gregory sunshine was yuris real biological father (insert that theory post i made pre-cour 2) and olga just managed to get into a rlship with mr.legend so quickly she could pass yuri as his son. (or mr. legend was okay with the fact at least initially. doesnt matter). and that also adds to her plight of being stuck with mr.legend, and im sure she was also in love with him, but she didnt have any other choice... nobody to help her. heroes arent real

wouldve explained why olga was running and suspectible to shit freaks like mr. legend. i would be inclined to say nothing megaweird happened and gregory was just olgas weird creep boyfriend bc i dont want to torture olga for funsies. more of a situation where she got pregnant accidentally and was like fuck i cant raise a child with a total criminal freak... not that she was raped by him bc olga rly has enough bad shit in her life without that:/

gregory is a creep for sure considering even the scene where he makes ryan lose control (which is. really weird lets be real. the kotetsu scene mirrors it) but still.

AND would also explain why olga blames yuri so strongly for Everything...doesnt excuse her ofc but like. i also understand it. her life sucked. tfw women could be more than Mothers and perhaps even lead full and nuanced lives that explain their actions

this is irrelevant to my fanfic btw (kinda) though i explore yuris and olgas rlship in it. olga is someone who tries but she is so crushed by her circumstances that sometimes her best try isnt enough. its a tragedy is all.

and also interesting how gregory never showed up in sternbild before s2. like olga chose a good place to run to (in the case she had). ripping my hair out ahhh ahhh ahhhh the lore... its so deep (the lore i made up in my head that is)

[tendercoretroglodyke]

like I know we here on tumblr love to play it fast and loose with this iconic preschool lesson but that last one is still absolutely vital no matter where you are

[floridensis]

anyway, we had to go to a home depot like an hour away because no one closer had the tiles we were looking for. in order to not make this trip just an annoying chore i proposed we go to somewhere cool that might otherwise be too far to bother visiting usually. since someone mentioned it in my class the other day so it was on the mind, i suggested we see the fruit and spice park

it might not be obvious, but its a park where they grow edible plants. they have lots of tropical edible plants (and some non edible plants) from all over the world. you are not allowed to pick anything off the plants or take fruit home, but you are allowed to eat anything that fell off a plant (as long as you know it is edible, they beg) and take seeds home.

it was really cool. ive mentioned it before, but i have sensory problems with plant matter and have a stupid hard time trying to get it down. but the excitement of all the fruit you can find meant i was going to try!

i had tried starfruit on multiple occasions before and found myself very disappointed and not going to buy any more, but there were a bunch of really pretty ripe looking ones on the ground so i decided to go for it. it was DELICIOUS. it was SO GOOD. i had no tools or utensils and didnt want to actually Eat it because then it would be a whole thing but i was going to suck all the juice i could out of it while i was walking around. juice went absolutely everywhere. i felt unashamed, but very much like a toddler with the picky eating and the sticky juice all over my face and arms and shirt. literally looked like this but with starfruit:

i wanted to sample some annona fruits, because i have a volunteer pond apple and could easily collect more, and they can be used as good rootstock for other, more edible species to be grafted on, which i might consider exploring. unfortunately none of the many annona species had dropped fruit at the time, with the exception of the sugar apples that were dropping desiccated fruits destroyed by wasps. one of the employees was REALLY excited that i knew what pond apple was

as we were leaving i found some bananas that had fallen. you could tell they were good because they were small. i collected some to bring back to my parents and sister (the tile trip would have been a 2 person job but everyone decided to see the park) and my dads face immediately lit up because apparently he was looking for fallen bananas the whole time, but his search was...... fruitless. i just kinda nibbled on and licked one myself, it was really good but i wasnt feeling like committing to the ordeal of eating it. the park apparently has 60 varieties of bananas

i really wanted to try jackfruit, as did my mom, but the only ones on the ground were quite nasty looking. i did take a seed, though. i dont actually intend to grow it in my yard but i just thought it would be fun to try growing, and maybe i can use it to barter with if it does well.

i also took home a fallen bit of that cactus i posted. i might keep that or give it away

they had a lot of different avocado varieties. my dad loves avocado so he spent most of his time sampling them and taking seeds

it was fun. id love to visit in different seasons, but its not a very convenient drive

[garrothromeave]

let’s talk about minecraft diaries rebirth.

and why it’s literally amazing. (warning: this will contain spoilers. lots of them. also, long post ahead.)

i think a lot of people hate mcdr because they were expecting a remake; but the point of rebirth is for jess to rewrite it. it wasn't supposed to be exactly the same.

honestly i went into mcdr with a closed mind. as an og mcd fan, i thought that this was going to suck ass and that i'd rant about how bad it was to my friends later. but actually watching it, i just... couldn't help but immediately fall in love with it.

ik im probably the only motherfucker that likes mcdr, but honestly how could i not? for one, garroth and zenix actually have personalities at the beginning. AND; the villagers? actually amazing. donna made me smile, visher made me laugh and cry, brendan was just bein as good as ever. like... i even didn't despise emmalyn with every ounce of my soul like i usually do?? the characterizations of them were GOOD, man.

and honestly, aphmau like--the way she spoke, her whole thing. it was reallyyy well done in my opinion. she was oblivious to things, but it wasn't overdone and wasn't done in a way to make her annoying. she's a very appealing character in mcdr, a main protagonist i do not mind following along with. her dynamics to the characters are really cool and all very unique.  gonna cut it here so i don’t clog y’all’s feed cuz i got a lot to say :)

the early use of aphmau’s powers was actually pretty cool as well, it also really showed how clueless aphmau really was to everything going on around her. AND UH, THE FACT THAT SHE THOUGHT THAT GARROTH FELT FAMILIAR? GOLDEN. absolutely golden.

AND GENE OH BOY, the early introduction of gene? ik a lot of people are upset about it, but god DAMN i love it so much. his role in the story is very important in original, and i cannot express how much joy this brought me learning that he was actually getting the proper attention for it. and the fact that gene and aphmau were working together?? i mean ik gene was just trying to use her to get back to the "shadow abyss" (pretty pog replacement for the nether, gg) but god DAMN i loved every moment of it. i found their dynamic to be pretty fuckin funny to be honest, would absolutely love to see more of it.

i might be biased considering gene is one of my absolute favorite characters, but i honestly think that introducing gene this early on in the story was a good move. again, he's literally the right-hand man to the shadow lord. it makes you really wonder why he didn't have as much of an important role in season 1 or even 2 of the original mcd plotline. also, we get some of that good-ol-fashioned exposition with seeing early on how vylad and gene interact. vylad’s at a very strange point in the story right now; his motives are unclear, even to the side he’s ‘supposed’ to be taking (aka, a shadow knight.)  another early introduction to a character is zane! this, my friends, is good. really good. i’d say that zane is the main antagonist of season 1 in the original series--and he wasn’t even introduced until like, episode 50. it’s not necessarily a bad thing, but him being introduced this early on really gives the audience a better understanding of what threats are out there and what our protagonist will have to encounter in the future. in the original series, there’s not much explanation as to why lords are disappearing/dying left and right--and while yes, that was supposed to be the mystery of it, having some of that early information is a better move in terms of writing. 

AND IVAN?? BEING A PART OF THE JURY OF NINE?? I COULD NOT HAVE ASKED FOR ANYTHING MORE LIKE GOD DAMN that was a very pleasant surprise i'll just say that, thank you jess :)

and no i did not loop the 4 minutes of screentime laurance got in that one episode haha who would do that i would never do that anyways

SPEAKING of laurance, im so glad jess actually wrote him in this early :) she totally could have just waited for the first time aphmau visits meteli and meets him there, but no! she put him in an early episode. i dont even care if she did it just to shut up the fans about laurance but man that made me so happy seeing him, even if it was only for a bit.

okay i kinda wanna go over the guards real fast firstly; garroth. ignoring how weird the helmet showing emotions is, i really like how garroth is portrayed. he's under a lot of pressure because the village is putting a lot of the blame on him for malik's death, and he's trying his hardest to keep things running. the fact that garroth utterly refused the to take up the position of lord and even got a little snappy about it was actually really cool to see as well. and while he doesn’t have that same “reserved, quiet, observant” feel as the original mcd version of him had, this version of garroth is absolutely awesome. he’s more direct and blunt, is significantly more sarcastic, and isn’t as stiff or as much as a pushover as he is in the original. he even has a sense of humour. also, no homo, but he’s kinda adorable.  plus, the desperation that he goes through during the whole thing is just--it’s really cool to see how hard he’s trying to prove himself and help the village. my rating for mcdr garroth? 9/10. the helmet... the helmet is the main thing throwin me off, i can’t lie. next, zenix. oh BOY do i have a lot to say about this man. first of all, his and garroth’s dynamic is incredible. when i saw how the interacted with each other, my first thought was: father and son. zenix has this immaturity to him that is so fucking fun and interesting to watch, and seeing how garroth scolds him is so fuckin good man. and! seeing how he interacts with the rest of the village... honestly, if jess ever picks this story up again, i would probably cry when zenix (literally) backstabs garroth. HELL, i hope that’s something that still happens, it’d be heartbreaking to witness this character that we’ve come to love hurting his mentor, the man who took him in. he’s just a really good character all in all, and much more appealing than the original mcd zenix. ...except season 3 zenix. no zenix can be better than that one.  either way, zenix is amazing written to be the comic relief and he’s just an all-out lovable character in this series.  finally, dale and brian. yes i’m going to group them up because there’s not much to say regarding them, but i do want to address them. for starters, we have brian; who’s already 16 when the story starts. good on jess for doing that, because in the original aphmau watched brian be born and age INCREDIBLY quick, haha. THOUGH i do feel like there’s a slight connection lost there--one of the hardest things about brian’s betrayal in the original series in the fact that we watched him grow up in phoenix drop. we were there from the moment he was born, to the second he betrayed phoenix drop. BUT OF COURSE, this version is a lot more realistic, so it’s understandable. i just think that if it’s brian who’ll be betraying phoenix drop again (if it even goes down that same route), it won’t hit as hard unless jess really takes the time to grow the connection between brian and aphmau.  as for dale; gotta admit, love it. and like, i think one of the main things about how good of a call it was to make him a drunkard from the beginning is considering how much the village is struggling. the fact that the second-in-command is literally drunk all of the time really conveys the message of, “yeah. this village needs help.” plus, he’s another good comic relief character. i loved seeing molly and dale’s relationship too, it was very funny.  PLUS. we were blessed with a well scene, in which aphmau had to help villagers out of the well. i don’t know about you guys, but that was one of my favorite nods to the original series. i cannot thank jess enough for that, there was a smile on my face the entire time. another amazing thing--visher’s character. instead of just being introduced to this quirky lil merchant who only had one or two interactions with aphmau like in the first one, we got to sit there and really get a feel for someone worth remembering and worth mourning over. we had a reason to be sad over his death, it wasn’t just some npc getting blown up suddenly. this was different, and this hurt.  one of the major things that i hope is to come out of this is for jess to fix the major mistakes she had when writing the first series. she’d expressed how unhappy she was with some of the decisions she made, and i’m glad that she’s getting that second chance to undo the things she didn’t like. this series also gives her a second chance to really, really dig into characters and their motives. like, gimme laurance backstory in better detail. or like, garroth and zane’s relationship from back when they were kids? or how vylad died and who killed him? etc etc. she’s already done an excellent job so far, and i can’t wait to see where this goes. that is, if she ever continues it. god, i wish there were more episodes so that i could seriously let you guys know how beautiful of a series this is. there’s so much i want to say about rebirth, but i think i’ll stop here. i might say some more shit about it later, but if there’s anything i’d want you to take away from this, it’s: give minecraft diaries rebirth a chance. there’s a lot of potential, and this is a chance for jess to really change things for the better! ... but again, that is if this ever is continued. 

[bunnyinthestars]

Adrien is definitely gonna take Emilie’s place in a coma (A Theory)

Yeah so I mean the title of this is exactly what I’m pretty sure is gonna happen. This is because there has been a huge load of foreshadowing and some other subtler reasons I will be going over in this post. Of course, there’s always a chance it won’t happen, but if it didn’t I think I’d be pretty surprised considering just the amount of evidence thats going into this.

(Also sorry ahead of time for the structure of this, I tried to structure this based on my specific reasons for this theory but I kind of went off on tangents in some places and in others I use ideas that I assume come with the theory and don’t necessarily fit into any specific reason (like Emilie coming back to life and what would happen there, why Adrien and not Nathalie, and loosely how theyd get Adrien out of the coma), although I mosty stick to the structure I still want to add this disclaimer just so you’re aware that I wrote this in one go at midnight (also wait right now its 12:10am it is now ten minutes into my birthday??? ok ignoring that))

I dont know man. Just consider what I have to say. Or dont. I will be listing my reasons starting now.

1. Imagery of Adrien being in comatose state/ in a coffin-like thing.

This is surprisingly common??? Off the top of my head I can think of Style Queen and Riposte (I believe) which involve this. In Style Queen, Audrey in the form of her akumatized self had essentially kidnapped Adrien and put him in this gold/glass coffin thing that disintegrated the longer it remained untouched. The other one is Riposte, where Ladybug hides Adrien in that big sarcophogus in the Louvre (he didn’t stay in it but still the imagery is there.)

I also just remembered in Chameleon when Lila took Adrien’s form he was asleep/in a comatose state in that locker and Plagg was like “aw man am I gonna have to kiss him.....” but then Adrien wakes up because Lila stole someone else’s form

EDIT: another instance of Adrien/Chat Noir being shoved into a sarcophagus (besides Riposte) is in Pharaoh in season 1

So yes there is definitely a good number of foreshadowing for this. I might take this further and say if Adrien were to go comatose and be in the coffin Emilie was in then Felix might replace him for some amount of time?? Like impersonate him amd stuff?? Just because there’s lots of stuff in the show with impersonation I feel like it could work aNYWAY BACK TO THE EVIDENCE I KNOW ITS A TANGENT

2. Possible evidence foreshadowing Emilie *inadvertantly* killing (not killing but making comatose you get it) Adrien

This one is not as strong as the first but its worth considering. I was googling the word “mayura” just out of curiosity a while back and basically its a peacock in Hindu stories (like peacocks are a kinda revered animal) and I just initially found a couple websites that said that the mayura has been depicted eating a snake as a symbol of the cycle of time (you dont have to read this part in parenthesis, its just kind of a tangent: the cycle of time as known in Hinduism is another aspect of Hinduism directly referenced in the show: the horse/space miraculous kwami Kaalki’s name is a reference to the prophecied tenth avatar/reincarnation of the god Vishnu, and he is referenced in the Kalachakra tantra which is basically a Hindu book about the cycle of time. Keep in mind I got all this from wikipedia and other internet websites, I do not practice Hinduism and I dont directly know anybody who does, so if any of this is wrong pls lmk because there is surprisingly not a lot of information on the internet about it from what I could tell)

So anyways yes peacock (mayura) eating snake representing the cycle of time. Both Luka and Adrien are represented in the show as the snake, but ultimately I think the snake here represents Adrien just because it makes more sense (Snake Noir, future Alix’s tattoo depicts a snake to be Adrien and is meant to represent Adrinette, Adrien just has some shifty stuff going on with the snake in general etc) and thus, if Gabriel manages to actually get the ladybug and black cat miraculouses and make the wish to bring Emilie to life, then this “mayura” analogy (assuming Emilie as the mayura in this scenario) would make sense if her life brought upon Adrien losing his.

The reason I dont think it would refer to Nathalie even though her official name is Mayura is for pretty much two sub-reasons. The first is that I think she is going to die before this wish happens. I know, its a kids show, whatever, but consider it. The Agreste/Graham de Vanily family has a trend of having opposite names [I am so sorry I literally first heard this from a tumblr user but I cannot remember who I just remember they had made a string of theories on why Emilie Agreste will not be who she seems to be so credit to them I did not discover that] for example the name Gabriel means hero/angel, Felix means happy/fortunate, Adrien means dark, etc, and Nathalie Sancoeur means “birthday (of Christ)” and “heartless” respectively. We already know she is not heartless but rather full of heart because she has fallen in love with Gabriel. So then,,,,,,,,,, the opposite of birth is death. She’s already shown to be pretty sick too despite the peacock miraculous having been “fixed” (as of the New York special being the most recent piece of content). I’m sorry guys I do not make the rules

stop why his face look like that though

The second part of why I think this is a little stupid but. The original art released by Jeremy Zag for Mayura does not look like Nathalie. Plus this art was only released under the name of “the Peacock” (originally Le Paon in French) so it might not actually be the Mayura we know as of now. Now, theoretically, it could be that they had made this art before they knew they wanted Nathalie to be Mayura or just as art depicting what Emilie would have been like as the peacock miraculous holder, and it could literally just be Nathalie. When you compare the images, though, the original Mayura art looks far more like Emilie and a lot less like Nathalie. Yes I am aware this is stupid just know this is only a minor point

I dont know man those faces do not look the same to me and the original Mayura definitely had Emilie’s eye shape and face shape in mind. They might’ve changed it after making the concept art but my point still stands

Ok next reasoning

Again not a very strong point but sometimes dialogue just implies things in Miraculous and I can think of a very specific quote that would fit this happening, and there are probably more that I just dont know to look for since I dont have this whole show memorized

So the quote is from Startrain after Gabriel loses control of the akuma then learns about the Startrain having been akumatized with Adrien on board, and he says “hoping that my enemies will save my son..... how ironic.” When I first heard this quote I really, really felt like it was foreshadowing something just based on his tone and the way this new idea was being introduced of him having to be on the same side as Ladynug and Chat Noir for once, even if it was just temporary. This quote absolutely is indicative to me of a future event in which he’ll have to work with his “enemies” to save his son. A situation in which Adrien is in comatose would perfectly align with this. At least for how I would predict the show would make it, Gabriel would have to turn away from Emilie (who represents the past for him, and this action would therefore represent moving on) and join forces with Ladybug/Marinette, his “enemy”, to save Adrien.

Onto the last reason!

Emilie is probably definitely coming back. Which means someone’s going into a coma in her place.

I mean come on it would be so anticlimactic if they just caught Gabe before he fulfilled his wish. Plus with the way they are outlining Emilie to be this perfect golden being is definitely because its going to far contrast with how she will actually turn out. This doesnt really support the Adrien thing in particular but honestly it would also be anticlimactic of the coma was for anyone else. If it was Nathalie, then yeah itd suck for Adrien I guess but like???? Doesn’t really connect the plots as much. Whereas if its Adrien, that brings Marinette into it, that gives her a powerful as heck conflict. Im guessing they would also somehow resolve his coma with “the power of love” mentioned in the theme song, just because of the foreshadowing with like waking someone up with a true love’s kiss (think Plagg in Chameleon, I guess the rose in Style Queen, maybe Alya’s story to Manom in Stormy Weather if we’re strecthing it....)

TL;DR: Adrien is probably gonna go comatose (like Emilie did) at some point because its been pretty foreshadowed (think Style Queen, Riposte, and even Chameleon), because of the legend surrounding the Hindu “mayura” peacock eating a snake representing time (wow that was not a sentence ok then), because Gabriel has previously foreshadowed having to work with his enemies to save his son, and also just because it would be super awesome and allow each character involved to have a pretty fulfilling conflict and arc.

(all images from the miraculous ladybug wiki excluding the piece of art depicting the mayura which is from murugan.org)

I hope however took the time to read this post enjoyed this theory, sometimes I have really random yet detailed theories regarding this show and I wanted to share this one because if I’m right then this will be proof I had predicted it, also you guys could possibly elaborate on it. I’m all for friendly discussions folks fr

If this doesn’t end up happening the theory is still awesome and they should have done it, and if it does my ego will probably expand and hopefully they will make it as awesome as it seems like it would be. Sorry if the structure of this post is not great, but thank you for reading. I appreciate you, have a wonderful week :)

[boxheadpaint]

Nonsense to remove later (It is me being incredibly mean about things that literally DO NOT matter). Pardon me for going absolutely off the wall with whatever the fuck this is, sorry

Man cause i dont want to go ape again part two its on a public blog this time, But even with the term monster its just like... obviously i dont even really like the term but with a lack of anything anymore positive might as well go with the one thats been softened to the point of whatever in ye moderne times.

A cartoony monster, a ghoul, a shifting mass, some kinda shuffling mass, those are all cute. Those are all fine to me. Those are all what i feel drawn to. And i hate to say something like things that are “Out Of The Norm” because that sucks! Things unfamiliar, maybe?? Fuck if i know

But i sincerely hate how “monster fucker” has become a thing as in like... like thats just a dude. Thats just a normalass mermaid with a regular “””conventionally attractive””” top half (yet another term i fucking hate with a Passion but again have NO better descriptor for). Or that’s just a dude with a little more hair on him, or straight up just a wolf furry. Or just a dude you can slap a label on like *normalass muscle dude with tiny fangs* This is a vampire :-) God and i hate having to say “normal” too. Like what the fuck. maybe the term is more like, things “accepted” as normal

I hate “monster fucker” for a lot of reasons, one of them is that its just. kind of annoying and grating, but i guess one of the most important is that its like... most of the people who even apply the term to themselves are just like ?? barely going in with it. nothing out of the comfort zone, keeping it to Oh these are monsters sexy lol *picture of a dude that youd see on one of those amazon monster romance novels* . like if you get what im saying

and i dont want to put any particular person on blast by accident, but i wont have this post up for long anyway . just like

is this really what you would consider monsters. and i mean monster in the endearing way, which doesnt fucking exist because of course it doesnt. but you know what i mean. actual monsters and not just.... what, accepted “conventionally attractive” skinny people that are maybe just like... green or something.

im already letting this bullshit post get way out of hand but im still going i guess! because then there is like, oh, Conventionally attractive, or Normal, or FUcking whatever. I hate that shit. i hate saying those things and i hate using the word monster for so much of this. maybe theres something stupid i could say like Oh well features that are accepted by society to be “abnormal” are applied to monsters, and when youre someone with those kinds of features or anything you find yourself drawn to them. and then when the accepted “normal” features are suddenly being applied to what you seek of course youre going to be frustrated. But idk that sounds kind of .... overly simplified to me, i suppose

i love monsters. i hate calling it that. I hate calling myself that. i hate having nothing easier to say. and i Hate that people think that this is what “monster” means, in the loving and beautiful sense. these arent monsters. These are just the same thing i see every goddamn day

but im guessing if i want to find what im actually looking for, i have to turn to horror. and i do love horror, but....... man. you already know what i want to say, and hundreds of people have said it before me. Im running out of steam and i have to take a bath now, desperately

What’s supposed to make a “monster” a Monster? why have we assigned so many normal things as “strange” and “monstrous” features? why is it that when the romanticization of “monsters” becomes more known, theyre made palatable for the people that called these things monstrous to begin with?

i dont know. i think im basically talking out of my ass. I enjoy beautiful ghouls and beautiful people. It’s the same thing. you ever been to chilis

also adding this in really quick, again, i have no idea what im doing. this is in no way a personal attack on the people who designed stuff like the monster game above, im just very tired

[curechocolattymilk]

TES V OC Thingie

[Got tagged by @jessaryss​ ! ]

Pause your game! Wherever your OC is in their game currently, tell me about their story so far.

✧✧✧ General

Current Level: 56

Name: Jeer-Tei Perdes

Name Meaning: Literally got it from a name generator lol. But lore wise it was a name gifted to them in honor of an Argonian who served beside Tei’s mother during the Great War

Pronouns: They/Them

Age: Early 30s where they are story wise???

Race(s): Argonian

Place of Origin: Hammerfell

Pick A Theme Song For Them: oof that's tough... From a Crowded Wound or maybe even Firstwake? If you really played around w personal interpretation/the lyrics that is haha

✧✧✧ Locations

Where Did You Begin Their Game?: Argonian Assemblage, Windhelm (Alternative Start)

Where Are They Currently In Your Game?: Whiterun

What Are They Doing There?: Just finished attending a party held in their honor (Post Blood of Kings)

Homes?: Breezehome, Proudspire, Lakeview & Autmnwatch

# of Locations Discovered?: 274

Dungeons Cleared: 104

Misc. Quests Completed: 87

Favorite Areas and/or Locations: Falkreath / Lakewview Manor. Both areas are where Tei heads off to in order to collect their thoughts/feel some sense of calm.

✧✧✧ Main Quest

Are They Dragonborn / Do They Know It At This Point?: Yes & yes

How Do They Feel About Being Dragonborn: It's...complicated, being thrust into the role of savior by gods of the Cult, which in turn are followed by the folk who see you lesser than them. Tei already has a dislike towards the Divines, this doesn't really help lol

Main Quests Completed: 21

Where Are They In The Main Story Line: Alduin's dead, currently trying to ignore the Civil War as long as they can before the Empire forces its hand into forcing them to join their ranks

Dragon Souls Absorbed: In total overall? 147. The amount currently stored in Tei? 45

Words of Power Learned: 64

Shouts Mastered: 21

Favorite Shout: Firebreath / Dragonrend

✧✧✧ Combat

Most Used Weapon(s): Daedric war axe OR Dragonbone battle axe. Tei technically has both on them at all times during adventuring, alongside a shield, so which they used depends on the situation/which they grab fastest.

Combat Style: Two/One-handed tank. Main tactic is to rush in, cause as much damage/chaos as possible to shake up the opponent, & clean up what the ranged attackers of the party (usually Rumarin, Inigo and/or Lucien) weren't able to deal with.

Armor Type / Level In It: HEAVY ARMOR BABYYYYY (Level 100 + 35 extra points via enchantments)

# of Training Sessions: 99 in-game, lore wise its a lot of self-teaching/keeping their skills learned from Hammerfell sharp. Some of these are magic but lore-wise this doesn't happen cus Tei is not a magic user, save for shouts. I just did those in-game for exp OR so I can help Lucien raise his magic skills :'D

Who Taught Them?: In-game?? Fuuuck so many npcs. Lore-wise? They learned this from their schooling in Hammerfell, going off the canon-lore that it's p much expected for everyone to have a grasp on combat & weaponry! Though they did learn a few things from Kaidan & Anum-La.

Favorite Enemy Type: Dragons! Despite the fact Tei does not have the best magic resistance, it's one hell of a challenge they love to meet.

Least Favorite Enemy Type: Automatons, because of a bad experience with them as a child. Also Undead, because they were raised not to disturb them & it just feels so wrong having to fight them/go into tombs.

People Killed: 945

Animals Killed: 749 (Hunterborn makes hunting fun lol)

Undead Killed: 766

Automatons Killed: 105

Daedra Killed: 136

✧✧✧ Magic

Favorite School(s): None, actually. Destruction is okay though....they guess

Most Used Spell(s): Firebreath or Dragon Aspect. Tei doesn't consider shouts spells though. It's totally different guys shut up they ain't no smelly mage gods

Spells Learned: 9 in-game, mainly due to the spells you're kinda forced to learn for some quests/the ones you automatically know

Items Enchanted: 19 (Tei technically doesn't enchant, and wont next playthrough for sure I wont give in this time >:[ )

College of Winterhold Quests Completed: 8

Where Are They At In The Questline?: Main quest is done bcus i dont like seeing unfinished quests in my journal lmao. Tei's involvement is completely different from canon though in my take. Moreso was hired as a guard for the expedition & was, unwillingly, dragged into the rest of the mess. Is not offered the Archmage position, that went straight to Tolfdir.

Opinions on Magical Guilds (Arcane University, Winterhold, Psijics, Synod, Radiant Dark, etc.): As they get older, they tolerate the guild & magic users more n more, BUT, Tei grew up in an environment that frowns upon the practice of magic, & it shows. They mainly mistrust necromancers/illusionists & still hold onto that belief that reliance on magic, especially for combat, is a weakness.

Bold words for someone with shit magic resistance.

✧✧✧ Crime

Current Gold: 10,640

How Did They Acquire Their Gold?: Odd jobs, selling a lot of the items they made/harvested from smithing & hunting (jewelers are their go-to hirers bcus Tei is great at getting things like ivory), Dwemer ruin diving (they refuse to loot the tombs), also yknow....being part of the Dark Brotherhood helps

Largest Bounty On Their Head: 11,240

For...?: Unfortunately they did not stand down when they were being falsely accused of murder in Markarth. First time Tei called down dragons (Sahrotaar, specifically, Tei managed to get command of Miraak's dragons post-Dragonborn) to absolutely smite some fools.

Current Bounty: None! They're good at not getting caught/threatening and/or bribing guards. :)

Locks Picked: 15 i think?

Jail Time: 1, Cidhna Mine

Jail Escapes: 1, teamed up w the Forsworn lol

Murders: 28

Assaults: 307....In their defense people keep getting in their way during dragon attacks

Items Stolen: 37, most of them from the nobles of Windhelm

Thieves Guild Quests Completed: N/A (wont be doing this storyline unless i cant find a mod that'll let me get the shouts locked behind it)

Dark Brotherhood Quests Completed: 20

Where Are They At In Those Questlines?: DB is completed main arc wise!

✧✧✧ Relationships

Relationship Status: Married to two lovely fellas

Current Companions: atm? none

Housecarls: Lydia & Rayya

Friends (outside of party): Zora Fair-Child, Inigo, Lucien, Anum-La, Morndas, Aela the Huntress, Nazir, Babette, Scouts-Many-Marshes, Isobel, Madesi

Children: Khash, Chases-Starlight, Ram-Ku. (going of where Tei is now - Otero & Mei come around later on in Tei's story!)

Romantic Interest(s): Kaidan & Rumarin.

Sexual Orientation:

GAY

✧✧✧ Religion

Pantheon: Yokudan, with a hint of Hircine worship in there

Patron Deity(ies): From the Yokudan pantheon: Tei mainly views HoonDing as their main patron, but also prays to/pays respect to Satakal.

They are also Hircine's champion.

Daedric Quests Completed: 3 (Hircine, Vile, Dagon - the last Tei didn't really help, moreso pissed off)

Aedric Quests Completed: 1 if you count the whole Alduin thing I guess?

How Devout Are They?: Tei is rather devout, esp to their Yokudan patrons, praying or making offerings daily. They aren't the type to really push it in your face though, but have no issues answering questions one might have.

How Do They Feel About Talos Worship?: Deep down they acknowledge & admit trying to ban worship is terrible, but....Tei also lets their bias/experience with Windhelm, the Stormcloaks & especially Ulfric kinda cloud over this. If the Nords want their old ways so damn much, why fight for a divine from the Imperial Cult? Why not go back to the actual old ways? No, this isn't about worship, not to the men leading this so-called rebellion, they just needed something other than their racist bullshit to fool the common man into throwing their lives away for the nobles sitting comfortable in their thrones.

Also during their whole thing of getting into their role of dragonborn, they get a bonus 'fuck this dude actually' towards Talos, Ysmir, whatever the fuck he calls himself. (tldr; it sucks but good luck hearing Tei say that fully)

✧✧✧ Politics

Gray-Mane or Battle-Born?: Neither, ask them again they will punch you for the love of Ruptga they get asked that every time they enter Whiterun.

Stormcloaks or Imperials?: Also neither, Tei hates em both n think they can all choke. Unfortunately they were forced to join the latter due to, yknow, calling dragons & causing massive damage in Imperial territories during isolated fits of rage and the group being more aggressive in wanting something in return for "letting it slide"....oops

Opinion on the Thalmor?: Oh absolutely despises them, they loudly complained having to work with them during the CW & would go out their way to disrupt their plans/piss them off. Sneaking was an option they did not take during the Embassy quest, if it helps paint the picture.

Opinion Of Ulfric Stormcloak?: Tei doens't say they hate people often...but they sure as hell hate Ulfric. Again, their experience in Windhelm added to this heavily, how both the Dunmer & Argonians were treated like shit, with no help whatsoever from the Jarl or guards when the local Nords targeted them. It's still up in the air if I keep this for Tei's story, but I have it where they knew Chases-Starlight's parents, who were killed. When Tei went up & demanded justice/an investigation, only to be brushed off because it "wasn't a priority," it completely destroyed what little empathy or hope they had left for Windhelm as a whole.

Opinion of The Empire?: Cowards too weak to continue fighting back against the Thalmor, in their opinion, & holds these views they grew up with even when being strong-armed into aiding them. If anything they're at least attempting to use their influence to hint towards a rebellion against the Thalmor, but the Empire could also full-on dissolve & they could give less of a shit.

Civil War Quests Completed: 0

✧✧✧ Personal

How Are They Doing? Need Some Juice? A Nap? A Hug?: The whole event of Blood of Kings has fucked with their head, to say the least. It's the starting point of Tei's eventual spiral. So uh...yeah they're not sure how they're doing everything they knew about reality was kinda challenged & they don't rlly have anyone to talk to about it so its cool, its fine, its all good.

A nap is probably needed, not sure about a hug theough they're super flinchy rn

Days Past In Game: 196

Hours of Sleep: 846

Food Items Consumed: 1833

How Many Playthroughs Have You Done With This Character: Tei actually is an older character from the 360 days so uh...maybe 5 at most? This playthrough & their S:EC one coming up when the mod releases being the main ones focusing on their story

Overall How's Your Level Of Fun: Alright I would say! I just been stepping away from Skyrim more often lately to avoid burning out from it

Must Have Mods To Play This Character (for story or other reasons): Ordinator, Wintersun Faiths, Immersive Armors, Sarcastic Player Dialogue, 3DNPC, Inigo, Lucien Flavius, Kaidan 2, Khash the Argonian, Alternative Start, Leviathan Animations, Beast Race Body Paints, Beast HHBB, Apocalypse Magic, Deadly Dragons, Growl: Werewolf Overhaul, Pronouns, uhhh....idk what else without actually listing my current modlist lmao

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And that's it for Tei! Anyone who wants to do this go on ahead!

[littlespoonevan]

uh i admire you for being able to go on dates. that sound so stupid but. i am honestly too anxious for it? i have nightmares when i think about going on a date and it being awkward, like, awkward silence or whatever. or that the other person might want something and they get pushy idk. or even if the first few dates might be good what then? lmao i have such intimacy issues i cant even imagine having it become MORE yk. does that make sense. idk. i wish i could try out going on dates, just, try it. and maybe someone is the person where it works. any tips? also tinder kinda sucks for me idk. i dont know what else to try? but usually i get matches but honestly no one talks, or replies. or i never know what to say to start a conversation, and if i do, i dont get any replies.

anon, literally everything you're describing is me. like i was reading your message and just nodding along because yes same????? honestly i've only ever worked up the courage to go on a date with someone from tinder 3 times in the past two years (and the first one stood me up lol). i definitely feel afraid of the person pushing too quickly bc yeah i'm right there with you with intimacy issues the size of mt everest.

i've been thinking about it a lot lately and i pretty much feel the same in that the idea of it becoming more is so abstract to me i can't imagine it in relation to myself which is uh....probably something i should try to deal with lol.

i'm not a big tinder fan either though, i think bc of the type of person i am it would be much better for me to know someone first or be friends with them before getting into a relationship but that's not exactly a situation you can plan :/ and if i'm being really honest any time i've opened tinder this year it just made me angry and i almost immediately deleted it again asdjkh

as far as tips are concerned, i think one thing that helps me deal with the stress sometimes is telling myself i can stop if i want. like if i'm having a conversation with someone but i don't really feel like replying anymore then i don't have to???? or if i go on a date and it's awkward or whatever then it's just two hours of my life and it's done and i don't have to do it again. i also very firmly try to take it one step at a time. so like, i've had guys message me before and within a day or two (sometimes within a few hours) they want to meet up and i Cannot do that. i need to talk to someone for at least a two or three weeks before i feel comfortable considering meeting them and i don't budge from that.

and like i mentioned in my original post, i can't do last minute plans. dating is so fucking intimidating to me in and of itself that throwing spontaneous plans at me (when i don't even make plans w my friends without like 24 hours notice) is absolutely not something i can handle. so y'know, i think a lot of it is trying to find the balance between pushing yourself outside your comfort zone just enough to see what happens but also trusting your gut if something feels like too much. honestly i'm still trying to figure it out but i hope you find someone some day that makes you want to try <33