#kinda snuck that in there but i will not apologize for my brainrot lmao

[shippingmyworld]

What are your headcanons on how Danny and Sam's relationship ended? I'm interested on how you see Danny's background because I really like how you write him! He's just so *devours him in the way an animal would eat meat and leaves a clean bone behind*

A wild animal devouring a corpse, to my writing? *sniffles* that's so kind of you to say =D

I kinda touched on how I think the Sam x Danny ship sunk a little bit in this ask here, but your ask got me thinking about it again. I've gone a bit more into detail below the cut (apologies for the word vomit because it's a lot lol)

There are a few factors that I think played into the ending of Sam and Danny's relationship, but I think the biggest part of it would be that Sam takes a step away from ghost hunting as time goes gone. I mentioned that I think Danny and Sam's relationship lasted like 4 months tops following the shows finale. That's because I think that big ghost activity died down following Phantom Planet. There's an unspoken truce that holds between the Ghost Zone and Amity Park for a while. Ghosts still cross over now and then to fulfill their desires and feed of human emotions, but the haunting stuff is mostly harmless now (i.e., Ember crashes a few open mic nights to play music, Lunch Lady breaks into restaurants right before opening to do kitchen prep work, Box Ghost rearranges the contents of warehouses overnight to his own liking). Since this stuff is all sort of juvenile annoyance now, Tucker and Sam don't really need to tag along to help Danny. In fact, most of the time that they do tag along, Danny just has to frown at the offending ghost and they'll begrudgingly fly themselves back to the Ghost Zone without a fight.

Now that ghost hunting is more or less 'boring' and require no effort from Tucker and Sam, they start focusing on their own things. I think that with Sam's personality, she wouldn't want to simply ride through life on her families wealth. She'd want to double down on her studies and get into a college that could help her get out and actually make a change in the world (I personally see her trying to get a double degree in Sustainably Sciences and Zoology or something so she can work with endangered animals and better their society for the environment). I think Tucker would be the type of person to try and capitalize on how fast technology and social media is growing and try and make his living that way. The show takes place vaguely between 2005 and 2009, when stuff like YouTube is in its infancy after all. I personally feel that with his personality (and vanity), he'd absolutely eat up the attention being an internet personality naturally comes with and would want to dedicate himself fully to cultivating it.

Inadvertently, cutting down on ghost hunting to focus on their own desires means that they're cutting also down on Danny time.

When Tucker turns down a ghost hunt with Danny the first time, it doesn't affect Danny that much. After all, their relationship hasn't changed. They're still best friends, and they've had years to get to know each other. When Sam however, turns down Danny the first time, it becomes a very big deal and strikes painfully in Danny's heart in a way he wasn't expecting. After all, their relationship as a couple is still new at this point. Being boyfriend and girlfriend is still uncharted waters. Danny expected some change, but Sam acting the same as normal makes him start to question if this is the kind of romantic relationship he wants.

Danny is over-protective (Jazz with Johnny 13, Sam with Gregor, Maddie with Vlad), which I believe is a sign that Danny is codependent to a slightly unhealthy degree. He wouldn't be aware of this facet of his personality at this point in time, simply because Tucker and/or Sam have always been at his side when it came to ghost hunting. But once Sam innocently sends him off to deal with the hunt on his own (she thinks nothing of it, just that she's really got to get home and study for this test next week), Danny's perception of Sam changes. He becomes hyperaware that she's her own human person, with her own dreams and ambitions that are different from his own.

It's not immediate, but the intrusive thoughts start to fester in the back of his mind. Sam can simply step away from ghost activity when she wants to. Hell, she could move out of Amity Park and away from this ghost hot spot (which she will probably do with her ambition of wanting to change the world). Danny however, can't. He'll literally always be aware of ghost activity, no matter where he is, because he himself is half-ghost. Doesn't that mean that Sam might chose to step away from him one day? If she wants to take a break from ghosts, then that means she wants a break from Danny, doesn't it? Danny doesn't voice these concerns though, letting them warp his thoughts and perceptions until it quickly becomes a 'fact' inside his head that Sam will leave him one day. He'll realize that he doesn't want Sam to walk out of his life because she's important to him, which only gives him more reason to not communicate these feelings because that will accelerate her departure.

However, that opens up a whole new can of worms because why is she someone that's just 'Important to him?' Doesn't he love her? Yes, absolutely, she's irreplaceable. But does that mean he loves her romantically, or platonically? Is she just a convenient replacement for the lingering affections he had for Valarie (yes but he won't admit it)? The longer he lets himself think about it and reflect on what he wants out of a romantic relationship, the more he will close himself off because he doesn't want to accidentally say the wrong thing and lose Sam.

Sam however, isn't as dense as Danny thinks she is. She quickly notices that something is bothering him. However, the first few times she tries broaching the subject, Danny shuts down. Sam will chose to drop the conversation immediately after the first rejection and wait for Danny to feel comfortable enough to share his feeling with her. However, this isn't what Danny wants. Danny wants someone that will call him on his bullshit, someone that will storm through the Ghost Zone if need be, someone as headstrong as he is that will pester him into opening up about what's bother him because that shows that they are actually concerned about his well-being.

(*Cough* Manny-no-tact-Rivera *Cough*)

It's not enough for someone to just physically be there with him. Danny's love language is seeing/hearing someone show concern for him, stuff like words of affirmation and choosing to actively engage and talk about both halves of his life. This is important to him, especially since I believe he's very self-conscious about the ghost half of his life. He doesn't show it, but all hatred the town and his parents showed towards ghosts in his early years deeply affected him; he wants someone to talk to about this half of his life because it will make him more comfortable with himself.

Since Sam believes the right thing to do is back down, this causes more strife their relationship. And what's terrible about it isn't because they don't like each other, it's simply because their perceptions of a healthy relationship are fundamentally different and they haven't been able to communicate this to each other. Danny believes that a good relationship is a partnership with both partners willingly engage and are involved in pretty much every aspect of each other's lives; whereas Sam believes that each person in the relationship should be independent to a large degree and respect the boundaries that their partner sets.

Incidentally, Danny subconsciously puts a pin this train of thought and references it later when questioning his own sexuality; when he's reflecting on it all later (once the dust from his and Sam's breakup settles) he realizes that the gender of the person he's with doesn't matter to him. What matters to him is everything above (I headcanon Danny as identifying as Demisexual and Biromantic).

As time goes on, Sam and Danny's relationship continues to sour. Just like how Danny's letting his emotions and intrusive thoughts fester, Sam is too. She's starting to get upset that Danny's not sharing whatever is bothering him with her. Does that mean he doesn't trust her enough to be vulnerable and honest with her? Again, neither person is communicating this with each other, and they start to not enjoy each other's company.

Then, the whole thing comes to a head during a trio game night. Tucker, Sam, and Danny are playing an online co-op. Sam and Danny can't seem to get it together, resulting in Tucker going 1v3 against the enemy team. When Tucker asks why their coordination sucks, Sam's annoyance with losing the game will make her remark about how Danny needs to communicate more when something is bothering him (referring to the fact he's getting spawn camped, but also their relationship). Danny shots back a remark about how she needs to be more aware of when something is happening to her team and stop focusing solely on her own task (the spawn camper and their relationship again). The passive-aggressive remarks escalate until it becomes a full blown shouting match and eventually they end up saying they both think they should break up mid-match.

Meanwhile poor Tucker is just sitting there listening to them argue on headset like:

I already mentioned in the other ask that Danny and Sam would eventually reconcile, talk, and remain friends (thanks to Tucker getting annoyed at them) so I won't retype all that here. Instead, I'm going to throw in that I think following the break-up, Danny would lean much heavier into his friendship with Tucker.

I think Danny would ugly cry in Tucker's arms following his breakup with Sam, believing that he's forever lost someone important that's been in his life since second grade (and as a high school teenager barely 15 years old at this point, that's pretty much his entire life). He basically lets everything he was holding back from Sam spill to Tucker in the most dramatic version emotional sobbing. Tucker's gotta verbally reassure him that he's not going to walk out of Danny's life, even if he becomes some techno billionaire one day. This does actually help Danny calm down and start to think rationally again, instead of emotionally.

In fact, this sob session is what start Tucker on the path to wanting to make his friends reconcile again because he knows that the whole situation came about from poor communication. When he does get Sam and Danny to talk it out, it ends up being one of those really deep conversation you have at slumber parties at like 3am when no one can sleep. They end up talking about the future they all want, what they all value in their lives, and basically reaffirming their friendship with each other. Sam and Danny agree that what they want out of a romantic relationship with someone is fundamentally different, so they should just be friends instead. They also agree they both have some unhealthy habits, and that they will call each other on them should they ever see the other person fall into them again.

Tucker meanwhile says this will make great content for his channel, and Sam and Danny both instantly turn on Tucker and says they'll sue if he uploads anything about them.