#kinda off topic but octavia showing her powers was amazing. i want more of that

[luneemeritus]

Stolas breaking down and crying desperately after Via left him was so heartbreaking, I think this moment and Full Moon were the only times I cried watching HB. My baby🥺

[minniekirra]

Fix You

Inspired by the song of the same name which has inspired many beautiful The 100 videos.

In which Clarke is working through emotions and decides that taking Bellamy to Christmas with her mom as her fake boyfriend is a great idea. 

Clarke lay awake and stared out her window which was illuminated by the reflection of street lights off snow. She couldn’t sleep and she knew she wouldn’t, not until she solved the problem that had plagued her since last fall. It was late November, right around the time she and Lexa had broken up last year. When she had poured her heart out to her and had been met with coldness and an unwillingness to try to understand her feelings. They had broken up on the anniversary of her father’s death. Clarke felt like her heart had too many holes and she couldn’t plug them all at once. A tear leaked out and fell into her hair.

Earlier that day she had been invited by her mom to Christmas with her new husband, Kane, and their mutual friends, Lexa’s parents. Which, of course, meant only one thing. Lexa and her new girlfriend would be there too. And they would be happy and rich and Clarke would be looked down on for being an art teacher and she just didn’t want to go.

Or… what if she didn’t have to go alone? She wiped her face and rolled out of bed. This could actually work. She darted down the hallway, barely knocked on the door, then burst into his room.

“Bellamy!”

“What?” He was immediately up and on his feet, searching for danger. “What’s wrong, Clarke?”

She was momentarily stunned by the sight of him shirtless, but then redirected her attention to her amazing idea.

“Would you be my boyfriend?”

It was Bellamy’s turn to be stunned. He sputtered, started to say something, stopped, ran a hand through his hair, stood perfectly still, and then asked, “what?”

“I was thinking that you could be my boyfriend for Christmas, you know?” Clarke stepped toward him, but that just seemed to make Bellamy more nervous so she stopped. “Because I have to go home to see my mom and Kane. Lexa and Costia, her girlfriend, are going to be there and I don’t want to be alone and I know Octavia is with Lincoln and Indra this year and you’re sad and I don’t want you to be alone and I don’t want to be alone and I kind of want to stick it to Lexa that I have a hot boyfriend now, so…” Clarke ran out of words and remembered to breathe.

Bellamy smirked. “You think I’m hot?”

Clarke blew out a breath, exasperated. “Is that really all you got out of it?”

“No, but that was the main thing.” He held up a hand before Clarke could get mad again. “I will go with you for Christmas. I know it means a lot to you.” He finished softly and Clarke found herself surprisingly near tears again.

“Yeah, well.” She didn’t know how to diffuse the situation. “It’s not just for me.” Her words were defensive, but she had just delved deeper into feelings. The intimacy in the air proved that she had done the opposite of diffusing the situation. Clarke sighed and decided to go with it, even if she hated feelings sometimes.

“I know.” He grabbed her hand and squeezed. “Thanks, Princess.”

Clarke sighed. She would deal with that horrid nickname if it meant that Bellamy would be by her side during what was sure to be an eventful Christmas.

The weeks passed by in a comfortable blur. Clarke was occupied with planning and executing the many holiday art projects that her students required to be happily engaged in the many holidays that happened around this time of the year.

She and Bellamy also fell into another pattern of sorts. They would come home from their respective schools (or colleges in Bellamy’s case) and plan how they were going to be a couple. They planned when they first started falling for each other and their first kiss (Clarke initiated it on Halloween because Bellamy was too scared, but Bellamy would argue that they had both initiated it). They needed to be sure that their relationship would pass inspection. Clarke lived in fear that Lexa would figure out that she had just brought Bellamy so that she wouldn’t be the only one without a partner. But she knew it was deeper than that.

They would eventually stop planning and just start talking. About things that were important to them, like their students, and their families. Bellamy had been Clarke’s friend for ages, but she had never felt this close to him. They would talk about unimportant things too, like who had eaten the last of the Raisin Bran, who was more likely to date a movie star, and whether or not they would hold hands and touch in front of their family. Maybe that one was important, at least in Clarke’s heart, but she tried to pretend it wasn’t.

“Maybe we should, just a little. Like I could hold your hand when we go to dinner with everyone. Or we could just link arms, you know whatever you want. Whatever you’re comfortable with.” It was obvious Bellamy was not comfortable with this topic. He pushed a tan hand through his mussed hair.

Oddly, the more nervous Bellamy became, the more at ease Clarke felt. Was it weird to take pleasure in your friend’s unease? Clarke laughed. “Bellamy, we can do whatever feels like would be normal in the situation.” She paused. “I would be fine holding your hand or your arm. It doesn’t matter to me. Hell, Bellamy, we already live together, it’s not like we haven’t touched before.”

“Yeah, but not like that, you know?” Bellamy said.

Clarke knew. She didn’t want to think about the odd pulling sensation that suddenly appeared in her stomach though. “I know, Bellamy. I’m sorry that I’m asking so much of you. We don’t have to touch each other at all if that makes you feel more comfortable.”

“No.” Bellamy blushed a little. “It’s ok. I’m just nervous that I won’t fit in you know? I don’t come from money and maybe your mom might not think I’m the best match for you.”

“Hey, Bellamy,” Clarke said softly. “You are the best fake boyfriend I could ever have. My mom doesn’t judge other people for not having high powered jobs, just me.” Clarke sighed, then reached out to grab his hand. “And even if you’re just my fake boyfriend, I still love you. And my mom will see that you love me, and that makes you perfect.” Clarke smiled, feeling a little embarrassed herself. She had been doing a lot of digging in her emotions recently and finding something there that she had never dreamed possible. “Anyways,” she said to Bellamy’s stunned expression. “We’re already holding hands.”

Bellamy’s answering smile was blinding.

The night before Clarke and Bellamy went to Clarke’s mom’s house (Clarke refused to call it home- her home was with Bellamy now), their friend group had their annual Christmas Party. This year, it was at Octavia’s and Lincoln’s place. Octavia flitted about it like a Christmas-mad fairy, putting up twinkly lights, candy canes, and mistletoe everywhere.

“So you can finally kiss Bell,” she said to Clarke, who had come over early to help with the flitting.

Clarke just rolled her eyes. “You know we’re just pretending to be a couple, Octavia.” She huffed. “And it hasn’t even started yet!”

Octavia smiled sweetly. “But it could be something more, don’t try and deny it. I’ve seen the way you look at each other.”

Clarke groaned. “I almost know what you’re talking about. But, to be honest, I’m still kinda nervous about going to see my mom and having Lexa there too. That means that I’m not completely over her, right? That means that I still need time to figure myself out?”

“Only you can answer those questions, Clarke.” Octavia patted her shoulder. “But, if you want my opinion, you could do with dating someone who already loves you endlessly.” She stared hard at Clarke, like she was waiting for her to figure something out that was very important.

“Yeah, well.” Clarke shrugged. “I guess we’ll see what happens.”

“Oh, come on, Clarke!” Octavia groaned. “It’s ok to love someone. Especially if that someone spends half his time pining after you and the other half watching dramatic shows on Netflix with you.”

Clarke sighed through her nose. Oddly enough, she felt tears pricking at the back of her eyes. She felt like she had to deny something desperately. She just didn’t know what.

“He doesn’t love me like that.” Clarke raked a hand through her choppy hair. “And even if he did, I don’t think it would end well, so it’s best to just not.”

Octavia’s mouth turned down. “You know you deserve someone wonderful, right, Clarke?”

Clarke’s eyes stung, she didn’t know why it wouldn’t stop. Maybe it was all the pine in the air. She shook her head. “I do want something nice, it’s just-” she took a breath. “Bellamy deserves someone who isn’t so messed up.”

“He only wants you though.” Octavia’s eyes bored into Clarke’s. Clarke finally broke away to shake her head again. She couldn’t, she didn’t love him like that, and he didn’t love her like that. There was nothing more to say. He would just leave her when he couldn’t understand why she was upset about her mom finding someone so soon, even if Kane did have wonderful hair and resented the pressure that Abby put on her to find a job that would pay more and “lead to better things.” Maybe Bellamy wouldn’t understand why she would just want to be happy and live. But maybe that was the worst thing she could think about Bellamy, because he wasn’t her ex girlfriend, he was someone else entirely and maybe she wasn’t giving him enough credit. But maybe she didn’t want to think about this anymore because it might lead down a dangerous road and she didn’t know if she’d be able to stop once she started.

Clarke just asked, “So where do these sparkly pinecones go?”

Clarke caught a disappointed look before the Christmas pixie took over Octavia’s face again. “Those go on the coffee table, next to the glittering cookies.”

Clarke smiled and tried to relax. It was much easier to pretend that she and Bellamy were just friends, but she felt like things had been changing. She shook it off and tried to have a good time with her friends. It was easier when she was buzzed. Clarke laughed and smiled through the night, she could do this.

The next day dawned bright and glittery, just like Octavia’s pinecones. Oddly enough, Clarke shook off the jitters from the previous night and relaxed as she and Bellamy drove the four hours through the countryside to her mother’s house. Being with Bellamy and away from the crush and bustle of the city made her feel buoyant. She felt she needed to offer Bellamy one last chance to get out of this. She could do it on her own anyway.

“Do you still want to do this?” She glanced over at Bellamy who had his cat-sock clad feet up on the dash. “You don’t have to, you know. I would be fine on my own. Octavia did invite you to come with her and Lincoln to meet his family. Or you could still come, but just as friends, my mom would probably be ok with that.” Clarke rearranged her now slightly sweaty grip on the steering wheel.

She felt Bellamy’s attention as he turned to stare at her. She didn’t dare glance over again. “I know that I don’t have to, but I want to.” She could practically feel him run his hand through his hair. “I just… I’m just not ready to see Octavia happy with another family that isn’t our own, even if it is only the two of us.”

Clarke felt her heart melt. “I get that. Change is hard.” Then in a slightly lighter tone she said, “Either way, you’re a part of my family now, Bellamy.” She did glance at him then, and smiled.

Bellamy smiled back. “You’re a part of my family too.” He reached over and squeezed her hand.

Clarke went through the rest of the day with her heart glowing. She truly was happy to see her mom when they arrived at the house. Abby behaved very well and didn’t bring up her disappointment in Clarke’s profession once. Kane and Abby fluttered around Bellamy, bringing him drinks and asking how he liked being a college professor. Abby even went so far as to say that she was truly happy Clarke had found someone who made her incandescently happy and that friends made the best partners, with a look at Kane. She also said that they were very happy that they had finally found gotten around to getting together. Clarke’s face was very red for most of the afternoon.

But, they were that cheesy, happy family for one glorious afternoon. Lexa and her family were supposed to arrive the next day. Clarke almost felt bad for being so happy. It wasn’t real after all.

They decorated cookies and Clarke smeared frosting on the tip of Bellamy’s nose. He chased her around the kitchen island for revenge. When he caught her from behind, he rubbed his nose on her cheek. Clarke couldn’t breathe, she was laughing so hard. Embarrassingly, Abby snapped a picture of the moment and cooed, “How cute! I’ll put it above my desk.”

“Mom, no. Please.” Clarke had never been more desperate, even though she still smiled.

“No, no, honey. You never send me pictures of yourself so I have to take what I can get.”

Clarke almost started begging. “That’s what Instagram is for.”

“What is Instagram, darling?” Abby looked puzzled.

Clarke gave up. “Nevermind,” she groused. She didn’t feel bad quite as bad about it as she let on though.

“Now,” Abby admonished. “You two have had a long day. It’s time for bed.”

Last year, Clarke might have wanted to scream at Abby to stop mothering her. But this year… something was different. She felt how lucky she was to have someone who loved her that much. Who loved her enough to accept so completely a stranger that she had chosen as her partner. Who loved her enough to want her to be happy and have proof of it.

Clarke smiled, a bright blinding smile. “Alright, Mom.”

Once they were in her room a feeling of unease drifted over Clarke. She had never minded having only a full size bed before, but now with Bellamy…

“I can sleep on the floor if you want,” she said with her face turning a bright red.

“If anyone should sleep on the floor, it’s me.”

“No.” He could be so stubborn sometimes. Clarke loved that. “You are doing me a favor by coming here so you should at least get to sleep on a bed.”

“It’s fine, Clarke,” he mumbled.

“No, it’s not!” Clarke practically yelled. Why did he never take anything for himself? “Take the bed.”

“No, I won’t!”

“Yes, you will!”

“No, I won’t!”

“Yes, you will!”

“Fine!” Bellamy was breathing hard. “You are a ridiculous best friend. But I will only take it if you take it with me.”

In one blissful instant, Clarke’s anger was swept away. She smiled a little. “Fine, but I’m not saying sorry if I kick you in the night.”

Bellamy smiled. “Fine.” The word was soft yet final.

They moved around the room, putting on their pajamas with occasional banter about who looked more ridiculous, Bellamy in his gladiator covered matching pants and shirt or Clarke in her feather pen covered flannel. The air became thicker and more awkward as they made their last moves toward the bed. Clarke could barely hear, her heart thundered so loudly in her ears. She didn’t know why she was so nervous.

There was just enough room left in the bed for a thin sliver of heated space between them. Clarke tried to breathe and think about something other than the space. She took a breath, but Bellamy beat her to it.

“Never thought I’d get to know you this well.” Clarke could practically hear his trademark smirk when she snorted in response.

“Well, we wouldn’t be best friends if we didn’t sleep together at least once,” Clarke said. Now it was Bellamy’s turn to snort.

“So I’m not best friends with Miller because I haven’t slept with him?”

Clarke rolled her eyes. Of course he would get technical. “I seem to remember certain late nights when you two would fall asleep on top of each other on the couch…” Clarke trailed off, smirking.

Bellamy rolled over to face her. “Does it count when you’re drunk?”

He was suddenly very close. She could see every single freckle across his brown nose. His breath touched her ear. It took all her will power to force her thoughts back to their conversation. “Yes, Bellamy.” The way her breath moved the curls on the side of his face fascinated Clarke.

Her hand twitched. She wanted so badly to twine those loose curls around her fingers and see how the dark brown contrasted against her light hands. Clarke didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know if she should even want this. It would be much safer to just roll over and try to sleep.

“Clarke,” Bellamy said softly. He reached for her hand, asking with his eyes if it was ok. Clarke just stared at him. She didn’t know what to do. He rubbed his finger over the back of her hand and suddenly she burned, everywhere. “You are and always will be my best friend, but I can’t help myself from wanting more.”

Clarke tried to blink the burning sensation in her eyes away, but it just intensified. Did she want this? She hadn’t thought about Lexa in so long, the reason she had brought him with her seemed to insignificant now. Why did Bellamy never want to take anything for himself? He gave up Christmas with Octavia so that she wouldn’t feel lonely or awkward. He was so good but she didn’t know if she could have a relationship that deep again. It had hurt too much the first time. Tears started streaming down her cheeks.

“Clarke,” Bellamy said again. He wiped away the tears on her face so gently. It made Clarke cry more. “I understand if you’re not ready or if you don’t want to. Just say the word.” Bellamy’s face was the picture of unhappiness. He would not push it, no matter how he felt. He cared so much and it broke her heart. She loved him. Clarke blinked and jerked back as the thought entered her head.Bellamy somehow managed to look even more unhappy and pulled back. “It’s ok, Clarke. Let’s just go to bed.” He tried to smile. He was the most precious thing Clarke had ever seen.

“No, Bellamy.” Clarke reached out and grabbed his hand even as tears still silently rolled down her cheeks. “I think that you’re worth it.”

Bellamy’s face glowed and Clarke was reminded of the sparkly Christmas cookies they had made earlier. She pulled him close and buried her head against his neck. “I want to try with you,” she mumbled against him. “Do you want to try with me?”

“Yes, of course.” Bellamy wrapped his arms around her tightly and she melted into him. The anxiety leaked out of Clarke as Bellamy held her. She felt oddly calm and almost giddy. She pulled back just enough to look into his molten, caring eyes. She tipped her lips forward, just a bit, and let him close the tiny last bit of distance between them.

The kiss was warm and gentle on her soul. She twined her fingers into his curls and sighed contentedly against his soft lips. He moaned slightly and pulled her tighter against him. The kiss turned to flames and Clarke lost herself in it until he moved his lips down her jaw and sucked on her neck, hard. Clarke almost moaned and then remembered where they were. She pulled back a bit and laughed quietly instead.

“Maybe we shouldn’t be doing this here.” Clarke was disappointed but knew it was probably for the best. “I kind of want to take it slowly anyway.”

Bellamy’s eyes twinkled. “Of course. I’m just excited that I get to fuss over my real girlfriend tomorrow.”

Butterflies flitted around Clarke’s stomach. She didn’t know how she could go from being so lonely to so lucky in just one night. But then again, it hadn’t been just one night. It had been all the nights they spent together, talking, bickering, and laughing together.

Clarke laughed again. “You’re not going to fuss over me, you’re just going to tease me.”

Bellamy looked offended. “No, trust me. I’m going to fuss, I’m great at it.”

Clarke giggled and nestled into her best friend. “Thank you for being there for me.”

“Anytime, darling.” Bellamy pulled her close. Clarke breathed him in and fell into a peaceful sleep. Everything else could wait. For now all that mattered was that she had Bellamy and he had her.