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dannystheone · 2 years ago

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We’re Gonna MAKE You Remember! (Lee Kenny/Ler Stan)

Hey guys! Here’s the ADHD Kenny fic for you! I’m actually running low on requests and inspiration so if anyone has any ideas, my DM’s are open! I’d actually be also open to a little Genshin if anyone has a drabble idea just to mix things up, I’m sure you guys are sick of constant SP lol just let me know!

also this comes from my own ADHD experiences I’m so stubborn when it comes to lists and reminders because I gaslight myself and tell myself I’ll remember something but I NEVER do 💀 I’ve been doing better and putting things in my notes app though

also i didn’t feel like doing kenny mumbles it’s kinda hard lel

WARNINGS: Teenagers swearing! They’re aged up in this

The boys are sick and tired of Kenny always forgetting the things they tell him to get for them when out on grocery runs! After the millionth time, they make sure he doesn’t forget.

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“Dude get off. GET OFF! Dammit, I’m down.” Stan rolled his eyes as he shot zombies from his character’s laying position on the ground. Kyle axed through zombie’s heads as he tried to locate Stan’s glowing figure on the map to help him.

“Ah dude, you’re like three floors up! How the hell am I supposed to reach you?” Kyle sighed as he packed a pipe bomb and picked up more ammo from the supply station. It was Throwback Thursday and Game Night, so the boys settled on Left 4 Dead 2 to play. They were in a Versus match with four other people online on the opposite team playing as the zombies. Cartman cackled as Stan’s character, Nick, screamed out in pain as the zombies stomped on him.

“Bahahaha! Look at Stan dying! Get good already, dickface!” Cartman’s character, Coach, started tea-bagging Nick as he shot the zombies surrounding Nick’s body.

“Dude, Cartman revive me!” Stan demanded. Cartman shoved chips in his mouth as he started shooting Stan’s character. Nick took substantial damage and started cursing out Coach.

“Ahahaha! Suck me off, asshole!” Cartman left Nick with worst health than he found him in, and threw pipe-bombs down below near Kyle.

“Cartman, you fucking asshole! Help us!” Just at that moment, Kyle was caught by a smoker on the third balcony. Kyle’s character, Rochelle, started kicking her legs as she was trapped from the smoker’s tongue.

“AYE! If anyone’s exterminating Jew’s it’s me!” Cartman’s character sniped the smoker. The smoker died from a headshot and released Kyle’s character.

“Oh finally, you’re actually useful- DUDE!” Don’t fucking shoot me, douchebag!” Kyle shouted at Cartman. Cartman laughed with his mouth full of chips.

“Aaaaand I’m dead. Thanks guys.” Stan’s square of the screen read that his character was dead, and spectated Kyle’s screen as Rochelle. Stan sighed and threw himself back to lean on the couch. The door opened behind the boys as someone stepped inside the house.

“Omph, hey guymphs.” Kenny walked into the living room carrying grocery bags with him. Stan turned back to greet him as Kyle and Cartman kept playing.

“’Sup dude. Jump in, we got you as Ellis. Dead Center finale. D’you get the soda?” Kenny sat down on the couch as Stan started rifling through the grocery bags.

“M’yeah, I got the soda. Dude it cost two more bucks than last time for no reason.” Kenny removed his hood and shook out his blonde locks. Stan cracked open a cold one and took a sip out of it.

“CARTMAN! Get me up already!” Kyle exclaimed. A jockey got Rochelle down to the ground, and a spitter spat directly onto his position. Kenny settled into the couch as both him and Stan watched the carnage.

“Can’t. I’m down too.” Coach got down from harassing an aggressive tank, and was sure he could mow down the zombie horde when he covered the tank in boomer bile. However, there were too many zombies at once, plus a stalking hunter that finished him off.

“This is what happens when you shoot your teammates, you fucking retard!” Kyle rolled his eyes as Cartman shifted on his beanbag chair and pointed a fat finger in his face.

“AYE! That’s half the fun, Kahl! Left 4 Dead is boring as shit if you don’t shoot your teammates!” Cartman retorted. The living room was filled with the agonized screams of the dying characters and the growls of the zombies, before eventually cutting to the loading screen after both characters died.

Kyle turned back to greet Kenny and look through the grocery bags. “’Sup Kenny. Did you get the Twizzlers like I asked?” Kenny snapped his fingers as his face looked enlightened.

“Thaaaat’s what I forgot! I swear I was gonna fucking lose it. I knew I forgot something I just didn’t know what. I got Oreos though.” Kenny offered the package to Kyle, but Kyle turned him down.

“Uh, no thanks man, I don’t like Oreos.” Cartman perked up at the sound of food and snatched the package from Kenny’s hands.

“I’ll be taking that, thank you, ‘food stamps’.” Kenny rolled his eyes at the nickname as Stan turned to Kenny.

“Oh Kenny sorry, did you get the M n’ M’s I asked for? I texted you about them.” Stan looked up to Kenny on the couch. Kenny held the side of his neck as he sighed.

“Sorry Stan. Totally slipped my mind. I was thinking about them too, but I passed by the aisle.” Stan’s gaze turned downcast as he sipped his soda again.

“Uh, it’s alright dude, no sweat.” Cartman scrolled through his phone as Kyle picked up his controller.

“Hey ‘beggar’ did you get my Ding-Dong’s and Ho-Ho’s and Twinkies?” Cartman asked Kenny. Kenny didn’t like these new nicknames he was trying out for size.

“Damn fatass you want the whole fucking store?” Kyle accused.

“Shut your ass up Jew! I know your gun is pink choosing Rochelle as your character, gaywad!” Cartman pointed at a frustrated Kyle.

“My gun isn’t pink!!” Kyle shouted back.

“Uh Cartman, I forgot. Sorry. I don’t even remember you asking for all that stuff to be honest...” Kenny spoke up. The boys inwardly groaned as less and less snacks were available for the hangout.

Stan looked up to Kenny and threw up his hands. “Dude what the hell is going on? You forgot nearly everything we asked for, and this isn’t the first time this has happened either.” Kyle looked back at Kenny and agreed with Stan.

“Yeah man, about half of the stuff we ask for or all the stuff we ask for just slips your mind. And I tell you every single time to bring a grocery list, but you-” Kenny put up his hands as he scooched forward on the couch.

��I don’t like bringing grocery lists ‘cause the list is too small to need one.” Kenny explained. Cartman turned his head to the side without taking his eyes off his phone. He was scrolling through a #shitpost channel in a Discord server.

“Clearly not dipshit, if you’re forgetting the whole fucking thing.” Cartman called out. “We can’t even hang out like this if we don’t have anything to fucking eat!”

“Well what do you guys want from me? I don’t know why I forget stuff, it’ll just be in my brain one minute and then it goes *poof* like it was never there.” Kenny made it look like his brain was blowing up with both his hands to accentuate his point.

“We want you to swallow your pride and go back to the store with a list this time. So you don’t forget anything.” Stan stated, straightforward. Kenny put up his hands with his eyes closed.

“Alright, alright, just tell me everything you guys want and I’ll go back and get it.” Kenny said. Kyle shook his head, his curls swishing from side to side.

“No dude that’s not gonna work. Bring a list with you so you don’t forget any groceries this time.” Kyle tried for lightness, but Kenny’s stubbornness was starting to upset him.

“I don’t need it guys, I got it! It’ll just be a few things, I’ll remember this time!” Kenny argued. Stan pinched his two eyelids together to suppress a headache as Cartman swiftly stood up from his beanbag chair. Well, as swiftly as he could anyway.

“Alright Kenny, you give us no other choice. Just remember we gave you plenty of chances. Stan, go grab a marker from the junk drawer in my kitchen. Kyle, help me out here.” Stan stood up to do what he was told, and figured Cartman would just fill out the list himself on paper and hand it to Kenny. Stan walked into the kitchen and started opening random drawers to try and locate the marker.

“Hey what- DUDE! What the- GET OFF! GUYS!” Stan located a black marker eventually, but heard commotion from the living room. Stan ran back to the living room to see Kyle and Cartman wrestling down a resisting Kenny.

“What the fuck-” Stan stuttered as Cartman looked up from his place. He had Kenny’s left arm and Kyle had his right. Kenny was in a half-squatting position while he bucked and tried to throw his friends off of him.

“Stan! Grab his legs!” Cartman pointed and ordered at Stan. Kenny threw his elbow back to try and jab Kyle in the gut. He turned wild as Stan advanced toward him and kicked his legs out.

“Get the hell off me!” Kenny demanded as Stan took hold of his legs and all three boys lowered a writhing Kenny onto the carpet. Kyle sat on the floor and hugged Kenny’s arm between his legs, while Cartman was less courteous and just sat on his elbow. Kenny growled as Stan parted his legs and sat on his thigh.

“Alright Stan, take this down.” Cartman reached forward and grabbed the hem of Kenny’s jacket and shirt and lifted it up to his chest, revealing his bronzed skin. Stan put two and two together as he uncapped the black marker he had.

“Guys seriously, get the hell off me! I’ll remember, I swear!” Kenny twisted and squirmed underneath his friends, his pants riding lower on his hips with his struggling. Stan held Kenny’s bare side to keep him steady.

“Alright, we want more Dr. Pepper, we need M n’ M’s, the Ding-Dong’s, the Ho-Ho’s-” Kyle listed off. Stan ducked his head and started writing down the grocery list onto Kenny’s bare tummy. Kenny huffed and started to sputter under Stan’s marker; his tough guy struggling crumbling as soon as the marker started to write.

“Pfft- Pfmhmhmt- St-Stahan! S-Stop it!” Stan held a tighter grip on Kenny’s side to keep the skin taught, but it slipped under his thumb as Kenny’s tummy spasmed. Stan’s eyebrows furrowed as he wrote out every word as legibly as he could.

“Okay, Ding-Dong’s, Ho-Ho’s, M n’ M’s, what else?” Stan was finishing up a few words on Kenny’s skin while trying to keep the marker steady on Kenny’s shuddering tummy.

“Oh, we need Twizzlers, Junior Mints and Coke.” Kyle recited. Kenny took a breath as Stan flattened Kenny’s stomach and wrote the continuing grocery list underneath the initial groceries. Kenny laughed out as he twisted and pulled at his elbows. Kyle hugged Kenny’s arm tighter to his chest to better restrain him, while Cartman scrolled through his phone.

“Pfftah- ahahaha! Stan- Stahahahan!” Kenny giggled and brought up his one free leg fruitlessly. Stan’s eye winced in concentration as he tried to keep his lettering straight across Kenny’s belly, but his flexing was making it hard. At least it was a flat surface. He couldn’t imagine trying to write on Cartman’s folds.

“Dude quit fucking squirming- Jesus-” Stan complained and pushed down on Kenny’s hip to finish up the last of the lettering.

“I cahahahan’t hehehehelp it ahahahasshole!” Kenny yelled out, and tried to fold himself in half to escape the marker. His belly made a small wrinkle as he curled himself up, and smudged the writing.

“Aw dude, what the fuck, Kenny? Now I have to write over what I just wrote so you can read it.” Stan, completely oblivious to what he was subjecting his friend to, forced Kenny to straighten out his belly and started writing over the words he already wrote.

“Aahahahaha! Fuhuhuhuck- Stahahahan stohohohop! Pl-Plehehehease!” Kenny’s free leg kicked out just to bring itself back up again in a desperate attempt to protect himself. That damn marker was too teasy. Kenny was gonna shove it so far up Stan’s...Kyle watched Stan write down the grocery list curiously as Kenny’s tummy pulsed up and down with his laughter.

“Alright, anything else?” Stan asked as he re-wrote the grocery items. Kenny laid limp and breathed out on the carpet as Cartman spoke up.

“Yeah, we’re gonna need three packs of Mega-Stuf Oreos, two liters of Sprite and three bags of Doritos. Make sure you get the Cool Ranch ones or I’m sending you back a third time.” Cartman stated. Kyle rolled his eyes as Stan began writing down the requested groceries. Kenny’s laughter filled up the living room again as Kyle looked at Cartman.

“Chrihihist! Stohohop ahahalready! This- Thihihis suhuhuhucks!” Kenny cried out as his tummy tried curling up in protection. Stan was writing over the skin above his belly button now. The surface was a bit raised here from the flat muscle, but the contracting from his laughter made the area shaky.

“You wonder why you’re tubby, fatboy.” Kyle antagonized Cartman. Kenny’s hand clenched and swatted for Kyle’s face. Kyle’s head jolted back at the small attempted attack, and bat Kenny’s hand in retaliation.

“I’d be big boned any day of the week than a retarded Jew, Kahl.” Cartman didn’t look up from his phone as Cartman retaliated. Kyle scoffed as Stan finished the last item on Kenny’s stomach.

“Okay, that’s three liters of Sprite, two bags of Cool Ranch Doritos, and three packs of Double-Stuf Oreos-” Cartman shook his head as he looked up at Stan from his phone.

“No no no. It was TWO liters of Sprite, three bags of Cool Ranch Doritos and three packs of MEGA-Stuf Oreos.” Cartman quoted. Stan pushed back his hat as it fell into his eyes. Kenny breathed underneath the three of them with his head back on the carpet.

“Oh crap. Well what should I do? It’s already on him?” Stan asked. Kyle shrugged.

“Just scribble it off and write it again.” Kyle suggested. Stan shrugged himself as he took the marker and scribbled out the writing on Kenny’s belly. Kenny jolted and bucked his hips to try and throw off the marker with renewed energy.

“GAHAHA-hahahad! Nohohoho no no stohohop!” Kenny’s eyes screwed shut as Stan blacked-out the numbers for the Sprite, Doritos, AND corrected the name on the Oreos. Stan tightened his knees around Kenny’s thigh to keep him steady, and started to write the new requested numbers over the scribbles in smaller font.

“Jeez Kenny, you’re jumpy today- what gives?” Kyle asked his friend. Kenny’s hair shook against Kyle’s shoe as he laughed with pink cheeks. His arm hung loose in Kyle’s grip as he stopped fighting at that point and just waited for it to be over.

“It fuhuhuhucking- pfft- ahahaha- hahahahaa! Stahahan I’m gohohohonna kihihihill yohohohou!” The tips of Kenny’s ears burned as Stan finished up the rest of the changes made to the grocery list.

“Okay...alright. That should be it. Anything else guys?” Stan asked. Kyle and Cartman exchanged glances and shrugged as Kenny slumped back on the floor.

“I think that should be it. We’re gonna order the pizza, so we’ll be good on dinner.” Kyle said. Stan nodded as the three boys got up off of their friend. Kenny slowly rose up off the floor and pulled his shirt down in a huff.

“You got all that Kenny? You good? You were acting really weird when we were writing down that grocery list.” Stan laid a supportive hand on Kenny’s shoulder. Kenny bumped his hand off and stepped away from his friend.

“Yeah, cause you assholes were holding me down and tickling me the whole time!” Kenny exclaimed with splayed hands. Stan, Kyle and Cartman all had confused looks on their faces.

“...Ooooooh!” They all said in unison with brightened expressions when it hit them. Kenny scoffed as he threw his hood back on his head.

“That makes sense. Well, you coulda said something earlier! Well, anyway, go ahead and grab that really quick at the market and we can hang out sooner.” Kyle clapped a hand on Kenny’s back as they sent him on his way. Kenny tightened his hoodie strings in embarrassment as he walked towards the door.

“Fumph youmph guymphs. Serioumphly...” Kenny grumbled and headed out the door.

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At the grocery store, Kenny carried a basket in one hand filled with soda, candy and cookies. He was sure he was forgetting items, but he tried his hardest to remember everything possible. He wouldn’t even think about what was tattooed on his stomach, because every time he did, he could feel the teasy trace of the marker on his skin.

When he knew for a fact that he was forgetting things from his basket, and did NOT want to go through everything he had to go through a second time, he made his way to the mirror aisle.

Kenny set his basket down and begrudgingly lifted his hoodie and shirt to glance at the grocery list on his tummy. His belly above his navel was tattooed with three lines of groceries, with a mess of scribbles on the bottom line where Stan had messed up. Kenny’s face burned to a crisp at the sight, and shoved his hoodie down with a furious quickness.

No matter how much he would never admit it, the list actually did help Kenny remember what he needed from the store for his friends. And after that experience, Kenny definitely left the house with a grocery list more often.

#south park #south park tickles #lee kenny #kenny mccormick #ler stan #stan marsh #kyle broflovski #eric cartman #danny writes #tickles #tickle fic

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mariska · 1 year ago

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hi i would like to share a recent personal experience (with a surprisingly positive resolution) about challenging hate speech in online video games that have chat features as an extremely socially anxious autistic person + also some thoughts i've held for a very long time regarding the need for folks who are privileged enough to not be targets of constant harassment in video game social environments to use that privilege by speaking up when witnessing hate speech for those of us who can't safely do so

(this ended up being a super long post i'm sorry, i tried to split it into separated paragraphs to make it a bit more accessible to read but i needed to get this whole train of thought written outside of my brain before i unintentionally move on to some other point of focus and forget all of this)

i dont usually like posting about bad online video game interactions since thats a Bummer, but. i wanted to make a post to share a brief interaction i was a part of in the text chat of an online team game last night that actually had a positive resolution even just for the sake of being able to say that i've witnessed a bad video game interaction involving me as a target end up with a positive resolution. i'm gonna put the rest of this whole thing under a 'read more' so that it hopefully doesn't clog anyone's dash up with long-scrolling text wall:

i was playing 'versus' mode in Left 4 Dead 2 on my computer last night, which for anyone not familiar with that gamemode, is where one team of 4 people play as the human survivors and the other team of 4 people play as the game's 'Special Infected' zombies (Boomer, Hunter, Tank, etc. on a randomized respawn rotation). its very fun and chaotic but because of the chaotic rapid respawn nature of the zombie side and the fact that you don't usually play as the special infected zombies in the regular 'campaign', its not uncommon to be put in matches with ppl who have no patience for anyone who isnt super experienced or skilled or whatever as every special infected on the zombie team and people start arguments in the chat pretty often. im not a fan of ppl acting out like that but usually its just Annoying and i ignore it and carry on,

last night though, someone on the opposite team of mine (mine was currently the zombies; the game goes back and forth to let each team do their best at surviving the same levels on both sides; one team gets as far as they can as humans and then the other tries to match that score or do better if they can and so on) was getting increasingly frustrated that whenever their team was playing as the survivors they weren't quite making it as far towards the map end goals as my team was, because my team was doing slightly better at teaming up as the special infected zombies to get bigger scores and hold them away from their goal.

eventually he got so visibly upset in the text chat that he went "ok. r*tarded but ok', and then followed up quickly with something along the lines of "yall know you're a bunch of fkin r*tards right" (i censored it here, he did not originally) and that immediately crossed a boundary line for me because i'm autistic, and once was already too much, but twice in a row made me very uncomfortable. i didn't know or care if he was saying it to us (his enemy team), or his own team for having a slightly lower score as the survivors, but nobody else in the game had shown any text or voice chat signs of being unsafe people or angry people, so i felt safe enough to go in the text chat (i usually do not do this because i usually do not feel safe enough to do so in groups of strangers online)

i said something like "learn a new word to use, maybe?", just to kind of be like, 'hey, nobody else in this game is talking the way you are, don't be That Guy' you know? he said "why? its not like its a big deal", which was kinda sad to read 'cause it gave me the impression that this person probably spends a good amount of time (willingly or unwillingly) around people who commonly use slurs because its 'not a big deal'; again, nobody else in the match was getting involved verbally or textually, and we all continued to play the game while this happened, so i decided that i was going to stick up for myself since i don't often feel like i have the opportunity to do that in the text chat of games without feeling humiliated or thrown under the bus by my teammates or whatever.

while i was typing the guy added "i wasnt even saying it to you anyways" (does not matter to me, obviously). i finished the response i had been typing to his message about 'its not a big deal' and said "it is a big deal, actually!". by this point, his character had been eliminated entirely and his team had one or two human survivors running to their end goal map exit for the round, so he had more free time to type and he replied to me and said "whatever, you do you i guess". i said "well. i'm autistic, so." and meant to say 'i guess i will' in response to 'you do you', but the round ended after i sent that reply and the loading screen popped up for the survivor/zombie team switch

when it did, he wrote "fair 'nuff." in the chat like a minute or so into the very start of the round when both teams were getting set up and everything, and i was honestly fine with that as a general resolution to the whole thing, because the minute or so of time in between my last message and the non-aggressive bluntness of it made me feel like he probably felt at least a little guilty realizing that he was casually tossing around a slur that is very commonly used against autistic people to An Actual Autistic Person in the same game as him, and that worked for me.

the game went on as it regularly had been for like five or so more minutes, and then he suddenly sent another final and honestly unexpected message in the group chat that said, in no response to any other messages that had been typed by anyone since his last one, "alright i'm sorry i used that word in chat mariska" (my name/username). which was actually wild for me to see because i am very much not used to getting actual apologies from strangers who say bad stuff in game chats, and i genuinely appreciated that he either hadn't stopped thinking about it and felt bad about acting out, or maybe some of his own teammates had prompted him to apologize in their respective team chat or something; either way, i gave a genuine "thank you." in the chat to let him know the gesture was appreciated, and for the rest of the maybe 30 or so mins that the whole match lasted, there was no more aggressiveness or slurs or toxicity at all in the chat from either team's side. when the game ended all together, he was one of the first people to type "gg" (good game) in the chat, as did myself and almost all of the other folks in the match, and after that i stopped playing for the night.

sorry for the big long text post, but i wanted to share this somewhere other than just that isolated game match chat between 8 people, because i very often see a lot of people (on pretty much any social media but mostly on here tbh) make posts regarding this exact kind of video game or general online text chat community experience where the person writing the post encourages others who also commonly witness it, or are the target of slurs, harassment, threats etc, to speak up (if it is safe to do so, imo 'speaking up' or 'calling out' people you dont know especially in aggressive game communities should be the responsibility of allies/friends/non-targeted folks more often than those of us who are being harassed or threatened or talked down to ourselves since it is inherently more dangerous for us to defend ourselves unfortunately and it can take a very serious turn against us very fast, think 'swatting' or doxxing, as a few examples off the top of my head) against the language/slurs/bigotry/harassment that aggressive, angry, frustrated strangers commonly spew in text and/or voice game chats, and as someone who plays a lot of team based online games regularly and has played online games in general since the mid-2000's, i couldn't agree more with the people i've seen writing posts or game journalism articles encouraging people to refuse to allow that kind of behavior to be validated by others in an online match, or to only ignore it when there is a safe opportunity to make it known that at least one person refuses to tolerate whatever behavior the aggressor is displaying.

anyways, to make an accidentally way too long story short; more often than not, in online video game chat circles, it's unfortunately just not going to be super productive to call out casual hate speech & harassment because there are typically (in my personal experiences at least) more people in a group of strangers that either enjoy seeing targets of harassment get upset and will join in with the original aggressor to humiliate whoever speaks against it, or who behave the same way as the aggressor and validate their own patterns of hate speech as being acceptable and common by defending their behavior/siding with them in larger numbers.

but! in situations where you're watching that happen, to yourself or others, and everyone else is either silent or doesn't seem to agree/enjoy watching someone have a bigoted hissy fit in a video game chat, it absolutely can be worth it to be the person who makes it clear to that person that they are the problem. unless you personally know every individual person who is playing in the same match group as you, there is no 100% way to know exactly who all the other players are outside of their characters or personas they're represented by in-game. people who tend to be commonly perceived as pretty emotionally mature in general, in any part of online or offline life, can and do absolutely come across as temporary social role models/behavioral leaders to the other real human beings around them in the moment, regardless of whether that's intentional on their end or not.

i'm not quite sure if the term 'peer pressure' is exactly what i'm looking for as terminology right now since that term is typically applied in negative behavior patterns, but that concept is very real in any gathering of multiple people - it can (and again, in SAFE settings, should) be utilized in a positive, constructive way to prompt someone to think before they speak/type, and to make a point to everyone present in the moment that we are all allowed to openly bring attention to harassment and hate speech. that point is an especially important realization for people who may hold generally higher positions of privilege than those of us who speak against it, since they are the ones that really need to be doing this kind of thing more often and in larger majorities than those of us who are put in danger when we bring attention to hateful behavior simply by existing as oppressed people of any kind.

i guess the whole main train of thought i'm attempting to explain with all of this is, like. before that one person started typing out a slur two times in a row that has been used against me so many times in my life that my brain went into auto-pilot and refused to let him feel comfortable saying it again, nobody was typing anything like 'gg' or 'gr' (good round, when a game isn't totally finished yet) at all, which was fine that's not like a requirement, but when that next round ended after the guy apologized and i said thank you, everyone else started saying 'gr' until the match ended and there were a bunch of 'gg's instead, like i mentioned above.

in all honesty, if i hadn't been so exhausted last night from having a really difficult day earlier that involved a lot of unintentional trauma triggers, panic attacks and anti-anxiety medication, i probably would have just left the game or not said anything when that happened, because i am terrified of confrontation and i am very used to it resulting in bad outcomes for me so i try very hard to have self-control and not potentially feed into trolls online, but i had a really really bad day, and that was my late night comfort special interest activity, and it pissed me off that i couldn't avoid traumatic triggers even in that short distraction before attempting to get some sleep. i was acting totally on emotionally charged impulse which is something that i try so hard not to do with strangers in video games of all places.

but i mention that specifically because it still made a difference in that one match, and because of that we were all able to have fun playing a video game the way it was meant to be played for friendly competitive enjoyment. i will probably never interact or maybe even just run into any of those people in a game lobby again, so obviously there's no way for me to know if the person who typed the slur messages will just continue to do that in other games anyways or if getting called-out on hateful behavior had any kind of impact on how he might think a few seconds longer before saying something like that to strangers online again in the future, but like. i don't know. that's kind of the point, i think? he seemed at the very least pretty embarrassed that nobody wanted to defend him or feed into the whole 'its not a big deal' thing, to the point that he actually apologized appropriately to me directly in a social setting where 6 other people saw it, so maybe that was a feeling of temporary guilt or shame or just being humbled a bit that he needed to experience to learn something from.

some people really are just not worth the mental or emotional effort to respond to because they are so set and fixed in their ways, and they're a stranger, and it's not our responsibility to fix that, especially in video games, that's why i usually. Dont Bother. but also sometimes people are so self-centered or uncaring or maybe even projecting self-hatred of how they think of themselves onto strangers because they don't view those strangers as fully realized human beings that continue living their lives after exiting out of a video game, who knows, i don't and i really don't care to, but i truly think there are a large amount of people in this kind of situation that just repeat whatever they've learned and heard around them for however long, and think of it as 'no big deal', and they suddenly feel very embarrassed and ashamed and small when one of the usernames they view as just a username on a screen talks back and they are faced with the realization that they said something awful to a real person, not an npc, not a left 4 dead 2 zombie character, and the other 6 real people there say nothing to defend them, because what they said sucked, and we're all trying to have fun playing a silly game, and they deserved to be embarrassed about it.

i think that's maybe my Big Concluding Thought on this whole thing. not necessarily 'everyone join me in Bringing Peace And Harmony To Left 4 Dead 2 Online Text Chat', but like...your words mean things to people you don't know when you say things to them in a place like a video game chat, and the largest majority of people playing most games just wanna play the game, so like. maybe think for a second or two before you just say stuff that sucks. especially if it sucks because it is literal hate speech? but also in general when it just sucks because its just a mean unwanted and unhelpful comment. and maybe ask yourself, if you're someone who jokes about wishing you werent 'so toxic when i play but i cant help it' or if you say things just to say things because 'its no big deal', why? why are you like that? you literally do not have to be. you don't know the lives and experiences of the people you're spending a very small amount of time with together in a game online and when you do this kind of stuff, when you're mean and 'toxic' and you call people slurs when they don't get as many high little numbers next to your digital team's fake video game scoreboard as you want them to get, the only impression or memory they will ever have of you is that they don't like you and you made a lighthearted experience suck for 7 people. that is all you get to be to that person forever.

idk, maybe other people don't think that's sad and maybe it doesn't bother them, but if that was the most common impression i left on a bunch of different groups of strangers that i wont get to interact with again afterwards i would feel pretty sad and ashamed about it.

anyways. i need to partake in tasks that do not involve rambling on my phone now but if you read this that is cool thank you, if you didnt that is fine i understand this became a ridiculously long post out of nowhere i do not blame u, and. i hope you have a good day. ok goodbye

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gravitycoil · 4 years ago

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since left 4 dead questions are very highly appreciated here, I have been summoned without any fear. Kinda. Please tell me what your favorite special infected is. And... what is ur opinion on the screamers...

YESS I really really love Hunters and Smokers the most especially fun to play as in versus matches. If I had to rank them all in order from most fave to least fave it would be:

Hunter Smoker Tank Charger Witch Spitter Boomer Jockey As for the screamer, Absolute legend. I really like it's design and gimmick. Totally surprised though that it's the only Special Infected that didn't make it to the end game. I understand why it was cut but I wish they kept the concept and just worked on it some more then released it. PERHAPS I should draw the screamer some time. I think he is pretty. I can only imagine what it would be like if you were able to play as it in versus or what the screams would even sound like. Here I made a gif for this.

#lolathepeacocklord #ask #l4d #post

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davidmann95 · 4 years ago

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Comics this week (3/10/2021)?

cheerfullynihilistic said: Comics this week (03/10/21)??

adudewholikescomicsandotherstuff said: This week’s comics?

Anonymous said: Comics?

Anonymous said: 3/10 NCBD?

Non-Stop Spider-Man #1: The lead story was fun, the backup was dopey, I’ll give it another issue or two to see where it goes.

The Immortal Hulk #44: While it was too late for this week I’ve taken Hulk off my pull list, so the store won’t order any copies specifically for me and therefore my future purchase of the book won’t support Joe Bennett’s presence, just the store. This issue is typical of some of the books’ weaker installments of the last year or so - feels like well-done regular superhero comics instead of Immortal Hulk - but those last couple pages bring it back around.

Daredevil #28: Holy cow, those King In Black issues actually mattered. God this book is still so fuckin’ good in so many ways, everything every dumbass street-level superhero ‘deconstruction’ wants to be when it grows up.

Children of the Atom #1: Sucks real bad! This weird combo of ‘hip new young Marvel heroes!’ trappings and soulless X-Men lifer comics execution that feels certain to appeal to neither group.

Eternals #3: Of the listed Deviants I imagine I’d relate most to Annoyed Veug.

Commanders in Crisis #6: While I remain without the ability to weigh in on this objectively, this is the issue that to date most feels like it lives up to the promises of the series premiere.

The Wrong Earth: Night & Day #3: Little disappointed personally with the reveal of what the third world is - I assumed it was going to be more of a straight take ‘modern’ version to the other two’s flavors of throwbacks - but this series still rules. And that ending.

Home Sick Pilots #4: Okay, I think I can follow what’s happening at this point, still enjoying it.

Proctor Valley Road #1: I review these books in the order I present them to my dad since he likes DC/Marvel/Other to each be lumped together, but make no mistake: this is the last of the three Morrison books to read this week, because this is what comes next for them. A return to their roots - 70s kids way into music and dealing with the weird, girls adventure stories of the kind they apparently grew up reading - this feels like a refinement of their mid/late-00s Vertigo work in the same way they’ve been iterating on their superhero material for decades. The horror is sold excellently, whether by their own efforts or thanks to cowriter Alex Child this is their most fluid, ��real’-sounding dialogue perhaps ever, and Franquiz with Bonvillain are instantly among their all-time best collaborators, perfectly capturing the shifting tone and character acting necessary to best put Morrison’s big ideas over in a way a number of their collaborators haven’t lived up to over the years (and speaking of the visuals, Jim Campbell does the lord’s work with that lettering trick near the end). Ritesh Babu and Sean Dillon have a lot more to say about the book and how it already acts as a darker, more honest take on your Stranger Things and the like as a commentary on its times, but I’m already loving to see this particular return down to Earth for Morrison and company and I’m glad to hear this is selling really well compared to their previous indie work.

Dead Dog’s Bite #1: This actually came out last week, but Ritesh recommended it so I figured it might be worth a look. A so far intensely low-key missing persons mystery with a touch of surreality around its edges, this already looks to be the best “look! A nine-panel grid! Fancy!” comic since Mister Miracle, really lived-in and emotional for as little happens in this debut. Very curious where it’s going.

Rorschach #6: I continue to like it.

Batman: Urban Legends #1: Glory be, a good Jason Todd comic - at last, you noble stubborn weirdoes living off of like six nonconsecutive panels all these years, you may lay down your burden. Not all you’d necessarily hope from Zdarsky tackling Gotham after what he’s been doing with Daredevil but rock-solid work regardless; the Harley story is fine, Outsiders is a letdown after Thomas’s shockingly good showing for them in Future State but it’s still fine, and the Grifter stuff is fun.

The Joker #1: I thought the advertised ‘a Joker story from Gordon’s POV’ angle was an interesting one even if I was concerned this book would in practice be pure editorial mandate, but in reality? Tynion has managed to pull the wool over DC’s eyes and do a full-on Jim Gordon book (one predicated with him being off the force to make it reasonably comfortable read in 2021) with Joker as the barest of pretexts to get it out the door and selling for as long as he wants to continue it. He even said in interviews that when the book was first pitched to him that his response was that a Joker solo book was a dumb unworkable idea until he had an idea for a ‘different way to approach it’, he knows exactly what he’s doing and I salute him. And it’s a darn good Gordon book even if the Punchline backup is predictably tepid, I’m in the tank for Gotham’s perpetual whipping boy dealing with weird noir international crime with Joker sort of hanging around in the background menacingly to justify the nominal premise.

Anonymous said: Hey, so I figure one random anon won’t change your mind, but like you I was disappointed by New Frontier’s immortal Wonder Woman, but I still got the new issue of Wonder Woman cause Wonder Woman at Valhalla still sounds great and I actually liked it! I think I’m gonna get at least the next issue, so there’s at least one recommendation for it

Wonder Woman #770: This combined with the store still putting it in my pile prompted me to give it a try after all, and whether because something here clicks better or if they’re simply not trying so hard without the pressure of doing a ‘final’ story for Diana, Cloonan and Conrad do in fact do substantially better on the main book than they did with Immortal Wonder Woman. Some fun, some fights, some mythology and intrigue, gorgeous landscapes and generous servings of beefcake from Travis Moore - this isn’t going to be sweeping the Eisners, but this is as enjoyable as a Wonder Woman comic has been in a good long time. My only concern is that the joyousness on display here might dissipate somewhat once Diana fully returns to herself, but in the meantime this was a very pleasant surprise (especially with the the Young Diana backup by Bellaire, Ganucheau, Goode, and Carey).

Superman #29: PKJ’s Superman thus far has been a story of overcoming initial worries of mine - in this case, my concern that he’d have a bad Scott Snyder-ey case of “if you’ve read the interviews you’ve pretty much already heard the dialogue of the comic verbatim”. In practice here most of what he’s had to say about these issues are distilled down really succinctly and poignantly in the midst of a fun little upper-atmosphere adventure portending something grimmer, and while I know it didn’t click with everyone I thought Phil Hester’s work here was a perfect accompaniment. The Tales of Metropolis backup wasn’t nearly as enjoyable, but hints at some interesting worldbuilding I’m hopeful will pay off in the main run.

The Green Lantern Season Two #12: The final Grant Morrison DC comic. One of two anyway, but if the next story I discuss is their broader final (non-Klaus, hopefully) statement on the superhero subgenre and a bridge to what they’re doing next, this is the one that’s about being The Final Grant Morrison DC Comic. A mélange of pretty much all their other DC finales into a shamelessly self-reflective meditation on the limits of what they can accomplish in shared universe storytelling where Green Lantern saves the universe through collective action and then fucks off to do his own thing elsewhere while the kids take over the ongoings. Weird and kinda perfect, and if nothing else this series took Liam Sharp from “really? This dude is drawing the last ever Morrison DC ongoing?” to “HOLY FUCKING SHIT LIAM SHARP”.

(The panel folks blew up over I think can be read multiple ways, but not in a ‘it’s open to interpretation!’ way so much as the storytelling/framing being unclear. I personally read it as ‘this is what neighbor versus neighbor looks like now’ rather than ‘calling someone a TERF or a Nazi is as bad as anything the other side does’, because oldster and out of touch though they may be I can’t see Morrison seriously saying that, especially after coming out.)

Wonder Woman Earth One Volume 3: At long last, after a hideous misfire kicking the series off and a second installment best described as ‘well, at least it wasn’t the first one’, this while not without elements I want to see femme and nonbinary critics discuss critically lives up to what you want to see out of ‘Grant Morrison’s Wonder Woman’. Big utopian fiction breaking the typical boundaries of superhero stories with aplomb in implicit conversation with a ton of their previous work, a bridge from what they’ve done to what they’re doing next, it’s an imperfect (especially with Paquette’s art, which while gorgeous and majestic in the way this story demands really doesn’t living up to the ‘acting’ necessary here in a way thrown into sharp contrast by Franquiz in PVR) but shockingly passionate statement of intent - if the last two volumes felt like Morrison struggling to have something to say with Wonder Woman in the same way they did with Superman and Batman, this feels at the close like them at last finding in her a way to do everything left with the cape and tights crowd they wanted to but couldn’t manage anywhere else under the Big Two umbrella. Odd and lovely, a fine sendoff.

#Week's Comics #Opinion

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