#kinda eh but wtv

[chai-en-kaadhale]

godawful orv animation

[woodsborostabathon]

biggest most petty pet peeve is ghostface being depicted as like Just Some Guy. like jus some rando sexyman w no actual face behind the mask just vibes. “imagine being ghostface’s subby kitten uwu” mf WHO?? WHICH ONE??? its a PERSONA not an exclusively male entity of its own!!! u could be talking abt like (13) diff people and (4) of those are chicks!!!

[helssent]

our wifi completely disconnected for a solid. 20-30 minutes? and all we were capable of makign was a singular Red Dave

[t4tbedehopmar]

I'M DOING GOOD!!!!! HOW ARE U - idia

GLAD U ARE!!!!!!!! AND I'M. I. honestly i dunno anymore....... like yeah i am happy! but we've just been told that all the groups in the camp are gonna change and i'm gonna be separated from my brother........ so yeah :/ plus i just don't feel very well......... long day i suppose :')

[queewp]

always adore some sort of mer/siren au so I made scarab and prismo designs :3 I don't really have a plot- well eh I kinda do?? maybe scarab was a human and due to some event I gotta think of starts drowning. Prismo being prismo decided he couldn't let this guy die on his watch and did the only thing he really thought he could-- used his magic to transform Scarab into a siren like himself. Ofc Scarab is freaked out and shit- maybe sirens are really feared?? idk!! But could just be a whole bunch of shit where Prismo's trying to teach Scarab how to live again and the true meaning of the ocean or wtv

these r just real quick doodles, will probs change the designs later on if I keep thinking abt it lol

[the1nonlyiggy]

My first post! Also, uhh, this drawing is kinda also an introduction of my LMK oc!

It's a little... Messy and I know I probably could've put in a lot of more effort but eh.

Anywayy, I'm really slow at updating or posting or wtv, like, real slow. Bare with me (⁠´⁠；⁠ω⁠；⁠｀⁠)

Here is my other social where you can see my other (better) artworks!

[diaryujin]

𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐑𝐘 𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐃 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐇𝐄𝐑

summary: yang jungwon preferred to keep to himself and his best friend, sunghoon, not really interacting with anyone else. he wrote about his life in his diary, and recently, he's been writing more about a certain newcomer into his small, troubled world. jang y/n.

includes: heavy angst, abuse, heavy drinking, mobbing (kinda), mentions of insomnia, overworking, starvation etc., major character death, divorce, jw is a raging bisexual and a skz ult, lmk if i missed anything, written in 5-6 hours so obvi rushed-

pairing: high school! jungwon x high school! fem! reader

status: hiatus

a/n: this is a repost from another platform, so it might not be up to my current standards, but eh wtv-

MASTERLIST

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more TBA!

[neonstatic]

Ahh I can't sleep until I get this out of my system.

Sometimes I rly feel like I blew it. I have little desire for romance so I've never tried anything and don't feel like putting myself out there either. I'm almost certain I could live a very fulfilling life in total celibacy. I do fantasise abt romance tho, constantly, cus it's fun and it's free. But sometimes I'll find myself thinking abt the few opportunities that came my way... Most of it happened in the last five yrs. I've had a glow up of sorts: stopped hiding my body and started wearing clothes that actually fit me, found ways of expressing myself thru fashion, idk if my face changed or if I just realised that I'm cute actually? All those factors contributed to getting some attention and I'm not used to it and frankly, idk that I wanna do smth abt it. I've pretty much ran away from advances every time. And not bc I wasn't interested! Even when I could admit to myself that I did like this person in more than a strictly friendly way, I just came up w a bunch of reasons why it didn't matter and that it wouldn't work. And my feelings never felt that intense anyway. It's always, "Eh, I'll get over it." And then I did! For the most part.

But there's this girl... idk why she keeps crossing my mind. We met at a BIPOC sapphic event she organised and I already admired her for putting this together. She was beautiful and funny and smart, and I just found her so cool. And somehow, she thought much the same abt me! She said I was cute, she laughed at my jokes and she even found my awkwardness endearing. She didn't find me boring or off-putting, and knew how to keep the conversation going even when I went quiet. We definitely clicked. At the time, I didn't realise I was feeling romantically abt her. I didnt even know I was flirting. I was just familiar with the song and dance. (Turns out, my socialising looks a lot like flirting.) I was super caught off-guard when she asked me out on a date. I kinda felt like running off but I just smoothly rejected her and walked home w my friend.

"You don't even know me!" is what I wanted to say. What made her think I'm dating material? I don't see much when I look at myself and I realise it's bc I know myself way more and I'm my biggest critic, but even then... I wonder what ppl think when they look at me. What do they see? What do I make them feel?

At the event, I didn't mingle much w everyone else, was lowkey glued to my friend's side (who's way more extroverted) and I was just sipping a can and steadily getting tipsy... What tf did she see? And, will anyone else be able to see that again? I feel like she must've been real special to find me charming at my worst - i.e. me at a function. Absolutely rizzless, borderline pathetic. What if that was my one shot and I blew it? And when I meet God and whine abt being a loveless loser, He'll stare me down and say, "I sent you a baddie but you passed on her, stupid." What if I doomed myself bc I chickened out of a date w a pretty girl I definitely liked back in some ways? And how do I recover from the shame. It's been over two yrs, get over it, oh my gosh.

Bc truth is, if by some miracle, we reconnected and she asked me out again... I would not say yes. My ass is not ready for a relationship. I don't even feel like I'm made for it. I think I'm a good friend (but could always improve), an alright sibling, an alright child, an insignifiant cousin/grandchild/relative... I just feel fundamentally inadequate in relationships! Be it romantic or platonic or wtv. But where I agree that I do well as a friend, Idk that I'd be a worthwhile partner. Even tho romance is just friendship with extra parts. I could start kissing and sucking on a homie of my choosing and we'd be lovers, technically, no?

Do I not care abt romance that much or have I fooled myself into thinking so to spare my own feelings of inadequacy? Could be a mix of both. I want love and I want to experience it, but I don't care enough to look for it and I will run away from it. What a mess. What a fkg bummer.

Ah, maybe I rly did blow it. Or maybe I'm thinking too much.

Maybe I should sleep.

[ask-hobie-brown]

Bro I have these fucking pants and they are the COMFIEST PANTS EVER they're js like loose black cotton wtv wtv idk I stole them from my mama idk where she got them but they are the world's comfiest pants. And I used to wear them like every day to school bc at the time I owned 2 pairs of pants and the other ones fits really really weird and anyway I wore them to school basically every day and they were slightly too long for me so I'd be walking kinda on the bottom of my pants and I wore them so much that I wore holes into the bottom I was stepping on and like the crotch of the pants and it was fine I js sewed them up but they got used to fucking much that I wld literally be patching up holes every single night and then I'd go to school and like 8 hours of wear wld fuck em up all over again bc the fabric got so thin but anyway then my birthday came around and I got new pants so I put the fucked up comfy ones to rest finally and they were sort of sitting at the bottom of my dirty clothes basket for months (gross ik do not tell me ab it) and then like yesterday I actually washed all my dirty clothes so I got my fucked up comfy pants back and I'm wearing them to bed and they r so comfy and I'm so pissed I can't wear them out no more they're SO COMFY 🙁🙁

i know the feeling, mate. half of my blimming clothes have holes in them, not like i care though. they just come out of nowhere, eh? shame.

[irritablepoe]

Idk what your original post was all about but once again reminding you this is your space and you aren't responsible for other ppl if you are complaining in your own space/to the air and everyone else can respectfully suck it 💜🙏

Also ppl take things too personally imo I think it is important for other ppl to remember if someone is complaining about something that upset them it isn't always about you in fact most of the time it isn't about you unless you literally did the exact thing the person is complaining about. And even then arguing against someone's feelings when they are actively upset doesn't yield any sort of positive results or undo the hurt, you are just throwing your own emotions unprompted at someone who is already down.

Anyways sry to get on a soapbox but yeah, ily I'm sorry you are dealing with bullshit and I hope you can be gentle with yourself today even if other ppl aren't. I won't join Meli in the killing since they def can handle that on their own but I do agree that you are absolutely allowed to be selfish and I have a shovel in my trunk for any occasion don't worry about it 💀🙏

(I know I went on a bit of rant but pls don't feel obligated to answer publicly btw if you don't want to have it on your blog or something literally does not bother me at all)

hi hello thank you so much for this ask lue, you're too sweet😭😭🙏🙏

it's literally so exhausting but also, i was mostly upset that they were directly projecting it onto other authors and that they felt discouraged leaving comments now bc of this. i never even said short comments are bad, just that this particular comment was a bit disappointing (i said in my og post that i was not being serious about this). but not commenting on authors works because of me saying that is just. what.

idk i'll try to sleep the day away maybe, i thought today would be better but well..

ILY TOO AND I APPRECIATE YOU SO MUCH!!!!! <33 and omg i got knives and shovels on my side lmao, no need for it though dw dw <3 i'm sure even though they hurt me they weren't ill-intentioned. "selfish" just triggers me a lot and it kinda set off my already aggressive mood. i'm sharing my writing for free, i don't know how any of this could be selfish, i don't. fucking. get it. i really don't. like if they'd been a small author like "at least you get comments" i would have been like "eh yeah true" but as a reader idk... to pout and say "well would NO comments be better then?". bruh. i just want a bit of appreciation for the efforts, what a sin apparently

anyways. i'm very overly dramatic about this and now i've lost a mutual i think. welp. ruining my reputation as a sweetie, wtv

thank you again for everything!💜 i hope you're having a good start into your free time :3

[milesmoraleswife4l]

Heyy love ur writing<33

Wanted to ask if u could do one where we introduce miles to afro Beats

OH MY DAYS OFC

( ill just do a continuation of the first story at the party he went to with y/n lol)

im ngl its kinda cringey but its wtv ig

Warning: none jus fluff

Miles and Nigerian Y/N PART 2

 After you finished eating, you went to your room for some alone time. You held your hand out for him to follow you. “ So what do you think about my family?” “ Mami, they're really nice, and the food is amazing, like seriously, you need to teach me how to make that orange rice with the plantain.” he said, wrapping his arms around your waist, and your arms snaked around his neck as you giggled at his cute behavior. “ You know they have to see you dance too though right?” You said with a smirk on your face. 

He smacked his teeth and said, “ Girl bye I live with a Puerto rican mom in case you forgot.” He said while rolling his eyes playfully. “ No baby I don't think you understand the music is different and I'm just trying to give you a heads up.” You said while raising your hands up in defeat. “ I'm sure I'll be fine, it's just dancing Y/N.” He said while poking at your hips to annoy you. “ Aight but imma just tell you right now if i hear my song im dancing with or without you.” You said trying to walk out the room, but he caught you by your waist, and spun you around to kiss you. “ Miles.. Baby lets go before people start wondering where we went.” You said trying to push his face away. “ Ok ok fine.” he said, sneaking in one last kiss before you opened the door. 

As you went out, you were completely bombarded by your mom and aunts telling you and miles to come and dance. You glanced over at him and said, “See?” And he chuckled as he followed you over to where everyone was dancing. You then heard the song Fever by Wizkid, and you and your cousins started cheering. Your mom walked past you and Miles and whispered to miles, “ Be careful, Y/n  can dance really well, and she can dance for hours.” Miles chuckled as he saw you dancing with your cousins and whining your hips to the beat. You then saw him kinda in the corner and took his hands for him to dance with you and your cousins. “ You know when you dance they spray you with money right?” “ Wait, are you forreal?” he said, completely shocked that you can get money from that. Just then, you heard the song Soundgasm by Rema start to play and you turned around and put your back to him and started grinding. He was just in awe because he's never seen you dance like that before. He then started to feel the song and how attractive it was and how you looked while dancing and put his hands on your hips and started whining with you. You looked back at him still whining and gave him a smile. Your mom and the other aunts started to come and hype Miles up. And started spraying him with money. And he started going crazy and showed all the aunts that he didn't come to play. Everyone was so shocked as were you that he warmed up so fast. 

When the party ended, and you were walking him home, you held his hand tight and said, “ You know my family absolutely adored you right?” “ Shi.. I mean how could they not?” he said playfully. “ Ok not too much now. You're just lucky my dad was on a business trip.” You said giving him the hand. “ Girl that wont be a problem.” “ Wait because I'm actually still in shock that you were able to dance like that.” You said while holding your stomach from how hard you were laughing. “ Well I had to learn one way or another.” “What do you mean?” “ How else will I dance at our wedding?” He said while smirking at you and the fact that you got so flustered easily. 

When you got home you helped your mom clean up all the mess from the party when she suddenly called you. “ Y/n, see eh, you betta just be preparing to marry that boy. He’s a very fine one and I need grandbabies. You chuckled and said, “ That's the plan.” 

[bookhighlightss]

Book Review on Imperfectly perfect series by Neva Altaj:

i. Painted Scars ( book #1 ) ( roman and nina )

1. Okay I've got complaints on this book because first of all what was this mentioning her " tiny " body that it ticked me off. WHAT TICKED ME OFF MORE IS HOW HE WAS LIKE SHE IS THE SAME HEIGHT AS ME WHILE IM SITTING DOWN. LIKE WHAT??!!! U MARRIED A CHILD OR SUMN???!!!!

2. What was her going on about being scared because he was HUGE and that scared her but at the same time validated bcs of her trauma but still.

3. I hated the fact that the fmc wasn't all strong and could fight n shit bcs um ur the pakhans wife???? What r u doing if ur not kicking ass????

4. Overall the book was um mid???

ii. Broken Whispers ( book #2 ) ( Mikhail and Bianca )

1. Okay love the fact that he was always obsessed with her and her whole ballet dance and him watching her was like so cute n shit.

2. The daughter father bond was peak so love it.

3. I absolutely also HATE the fact that she also wasn't a strong fmc bcs ur the daughter of another mafia leader????? Wdym???? I wanted kickass fmc.

4. AGAIN TINY PETITE BODY WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME but kinda will accept it cuz she's a ballet dancer. So fine I'll allow it.

5. HERE'S THE ICK IN THIS BOOK. he forces his ex to give birth to their child bcs she got pregnant and wanted an abortion....HE THREATENED TO KILL HER???!!!! And obv he's a man he wouldn't know the thousand problems that comes with pregnancy so makes sense yk don't let woman have her own right over her OWN body. Like srsly he's a book bf make him a green forest please.

6. Loved the book bcs it was a level up from the first mid book.

iii. Hidden Truths ( book #3 ) ( Sergei and Angelina )

1. Love the fact that the serial killer scenes were serial killing bcs wow they really went all graphic and I'm here for it. I'm sorry but they really gave justice to his psychotic character and behaviour when he was killing.

2. Okay this girl could fight so it's accepted.

3. The tiny and petite wasn't mentioned that much prolly bcs she starved herself but yea.

4. Okay she was retarded. Like hella retarded. SPOILERS AHEAD. basically their enemy said they would kill him if she didn't come back or wtv and SHE CHOSE TO HIDE FROM A MAN WHO WAS MADE INTO A WEAPON!!!!! like this guy could kill 3 ppl in 15 secs and u wanna hide this shit from him???? HE CAN SAVE HIS OWN LIFE!!!! YOU CANNOT!!!!! I hate it when main characters r all dumb and retarded and r like omg I was protecting him??? Hun.....he can fight trust me.

5. SPOILERS ENDED. um overall book was fine better than the second book.

iv. Ruined Secrets ( book #4 ) ( luca and Isabella )

1. This book is an ICK. ICK. ICK. ICK. They have a 16 yr age gap and idk bout u but that doesn't sit well with me. HE PRACTICALLY WATCHES HER GROW UP FROM WHEN SHE WAS 6!!!!! THAS NOT OKAY

2. Can I just say that the father daughter bond was not shown the tiniest bit in this book. She didn't even exist in the book like that less cameos. And that actually shows how he wasn't there for the daughter. Prolly would've been more scenes if the author wasn't busy putting more smut scenes but eh.

3. Okay she is super badass I will not lie. She did actually fit the role of a capos wife unlike the first book and I loved it.

4. Ummm he actually calls her HIS TEENAGE WIFE???!!!!! EXCUSE ME SIR???!!!! JAIL. HE LITERALLY SAYS I'LL WAIT TILL SHE IS 21???!!!! Excuse me??!!!! U don't wait!!!!! Thas a child!!!!! U said it urself. U could practically be her father. WHAT???!!!! Fr she was 19 he was 35 and thas not okay and it actually makes me pukish.

5. Also um the way her whole family was okay with them getting married bcs she has loved him since forever is a no. I'm sorry but thas a weird obsession and it needs to be gotten rid of and not fueled.

6.. THIS AUTHOR'S OBSESSION WITH THE FMC HAVING A TINY WAIST AND A TINY BODY WITH A HUGE ASS IS GETTING OUT OF HAND!!!!!!! I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.

7. The plot is super nice tho. Fast paced but nice. If they minused the WAYYY TOO MUCH SMUT and age difference.

v. Stolen Touches ( book #5 ) ( Salvatore and milene )

1. To say I went through it while reading the book would be an understatement is just wild.

2. ICK. ICK. ICK. one this woman needs a reality check BCS TELL ME WHY all the characters she writes go through the absolute worst " mafia " torture but come back out with little harm LIKE BFFR thas impossible.

3. Can I just say the guy is psychotic bcs there's no way his hyperobsession was romanticised in the book the way it was. This is how serial killers are born. Okay this should have ended with him in therapy and divorce but okay I think it's not a shock that her are weird.

4. OKAY SO APPARENTLY THIS GUY BARELY SMILES AND WHEN HE HAS A DAUGHTER THAS WHEN HE DECIDED TO FINALLY SMILE???? you're telling me this girl went thru practically years without seeing her husband smile??? And he smiles for his new born baby for the first time??? Fuck off pls.

5. This book made me question my existence and will for life but thas just me idk.

vi. Fractured Souls ( book #6 ) ( Pavel and Asya )

1. This book had so much potential and the way she ruined it with smut😭. THIS COULDVE BEEN SO MUCH BETTER.

2. AGAIN THIS BOOK WAS BACK WITH THE TINY AND PETITE AND EXTRA SMOL OUTFITS🥺 like oh yea sure not only is there a 15 year age gap but there's also child fetish LESGOOOOO AND THE FAVT THAT HES BLONDE??? DAFAK??

3. Okay so the book starts off great and tbh I thought this book would have no smut or one smut scene BUT NO THE BITCH ASS AUTHOR PICKED A SENSITIVE TOPIC TO WRITE ABOUT AND SOMEHOW MANAGED TO ADD SMUT IN IT

4. Look here's my opinion even tho I'm a hea girly but I feel like this book would be SO MUCH BETTER if they didn't end up tgt yk...like she never got to grow her own wings and fly?? Like this was just transfer from one gold prison to a rotten prison to another gold prison but it's prison at the end of the day. Like if they never were together and she just became an artist and he actually continued depressed and on with his life even tho he fell in love with her but he knew she could do better than that life then it would have been beautiful. Also if they never fucked then it would be even more beautiful.

5. I actually liked this book way much more than the previous 5 bcs he was a green flag if we forget the age gap ( I did for my own sanity ). Also the mall scenes were so CRINGY that I had to put the book down or I'd cut a vein. AND ISTG IF A RANDOM TATTED MAN THOUGHT HE COULD SHUT ME UP WITH A GLARE IN A PUBLIC PLACE...THE WAY I'D FUVK HIM UP....

6. Overall this book had potential which was horribly destroyed. Thank you.

vii. Burned dreams ( book #7 ) ( Alessandro and Ravenna )

1. Am I saying this book is shit? Yes. But am I saying it's better than the first three? Hell yes. Ig it took her 6 books to get a tad better but it'll do. I didn't wanna kms by the end of it.

2. Okay um IF THIS WOMAN DOSENT QUIT WITH HER PETITE OBSESSION I WILL KMS AND BECOME FAT ASF SO NO ONE EVER CALLS ME PETITE AND SMALL.

3. So this book actually had a somewhat a good plot so ig I liked it. But um basically he has an ex wife who died but I just didn't like the way he moved on and fell in love again even tho it took him 8 yrs but meh.

4. Again the smut....ick....also the way her books are so predictable is annoying but it'll do ig.

viii. Silent lies ( book #8 ) ( Drago and Sienna )

1. Omg was this book the best out of all 8? Hell yes. Okay the usual icks were petite and tiny and the 16 year age gap but ATP I just make myself forget those two.

2. GREEN FLAG. GREEN FLAG. HES A GREEN FLAG. SPOILER AHEAD. so like when he finds out she went thru his phone and he thought she was a spy but she was just going thru his gallery BUT LIKE he never asked her what she saw on his phone and thought she was a spy but he decided to love her despite of it.

3. I fucking love her wardrobe and I need it desperately.

4. THE GIFTS. THE GIFTS. THE GODDAMN GIFTS AAAAAAHHHHHH

5. Okay genuinely I relate to her character a lot and this was fr fr grumpy x sunshine and I'm just happy about the fact that this was the first proper book in the series so yea

ix. Darkest sins ( book #9 ) ( Kai and Nera )

1. This book was the SHITTIEST of all books in this series. I got the ick throughout the book. I felt sick to my stomach and actually wanted to barf.

2. This man deserves to be in a high security jail or killed. There's no redemption for him bye. This book was crazy. He's a psycho killer and look Ive had my fair share of reading those kinds of books but this one didn't even make sense.

3. Idek if I can call their romance Stockholm syndrome bcs it's worse than that and there is no romance in this its basically him lusting after a child and objectifying her.

4. ISTG IF THIS AUTHOR DOSENT STOP WITH FILLING THE BOOKS UP WITH SMUT TO THE BRIM. While the age gap of this book was acceptable ( 10 yrs ) the storyline was unacceptable and absolutely shit I couldnt even read it properly I just kept skipping bcs this book was just not it and horrible.

ix. Sweet prison ( book #10 )

( hasn't been published yet )

[twildflower]

Errr silly doodle while i was working on a red cutout

I just suddenly remembered abt the gem trick so i wanted to try it out lol ofc its gonna be greens eye i love his eyes….its kinda not very right tho i think its too big. Idk. Eh. Wtv. Its deleted already anyway LMAO

[poggyking3]

So the thing is in a way I am related to the crew but not EVEN cloooose, only through 2 others who haaaaaaaave been to your world but they're also not from there? I'm not exactly someone you just know- At least not [redacted redacted redacted]. One could say they're also just [redacted]. Also I will actually say my opinion on Puzzles is mixed, however I will not further elaborate on that. And no, that doesn't mean neutral, lol.

Alright, another silly thing I can ask you ummm- How do you feel about Mario? It seems when you 2 get down to it, you can really have fun. Mario Harms The Environment is actually one of my favourite videos because of you 2 - Nerd anon

u seem like the type of mf to speak in riddles tf do u mean with all this redacted stuff nerd anyways, me and mario are kinda eh? hes fun sometimes, esp when im telling him 2 do bad shit but the rest of the time hes stupid and gets on my nerves plus he does some rather..... unspeakable things to spaghetti id rather not intermingle with his noodle fetish or wtv those italians do

[drvirgus]

soo since you're dr love and helping ppl with their "relationship problems", pls let me entertain you with mine 🙂🙂

i got dumped by this girl not too long ago, somewhere near the start of 2024, and it rlly broke me. we were only dating for a little near half a year but it felt like the relationship was longer than it actually was. she told me that she doesn't see me as a lover, rather just friends or smth like that (but do friends kiss and dedicate kpop love songs to one another? eh it may vary for different ppl)

now, i still talk to her like friends would but i wouldn't call her that. she's just a mutual friend that i just so happen to hang out with every day at lunch. i told my friends that im over her and everything, but truth be told, im not sure.

every time a guy approaches her or i overhear her talking abt some guy she has an interest in, it just rubs me the wrong way yk. like that's my ex i was deeply in love with talking abt a guy. i smile and tell her "oh that's good for you!" but rlly... i hate it. idk how to explain it but it's like salt on a wound.

our relationship status is complicated as well. one moment, it's just two of us. talking, doing an activity together during break and getting happy for each other when we do good. the proximity is close too, so that doesn't help. it feels oddly "intimate" but not in that way. then the other moment, i feel like im reading a book in another language that i used to be fluent in.

she's different from what i can tell and see. plus, she's close to another friend of mine (that hated her after the break up, mind you) like suddenly they're best friends, and my friend never hated her with every blood cell?

it's so complicated and annoying that i wish i can just pull myself out like what my dad should've done that night so i don't have to experience this.

Okay puh. Thats some deep lore.

You guys really have to send me the ages too of you and the other person 😪 don’t want to sound old but sometimes (mostly all the times but there are some exceptions) it’s related to age 😵

The whole time I was reading that ask I just had one thought „bro… she’s not gay“

There are 4 theories I have for this ask.

1. she’s not gay and tried it with you

2. Shes gay (bisexual wtv) but you weren’t the right one

3. she’s not gay and idk. Wanted to joke a little but it got too far and she was kinda stuck there?

Or 4. she’s gay but has internal homophobia and that’s why she would rather have a boyfriend then a girlfriend.

The „intimate“ moments…

Well… straight girls are pretty intimate when they feel comfortable around you 😪😪 so I can’t really say smth about that. But I think you already see the difference between intimacy between friends and intimacy between „lovers“

The only thing I can really say about this is that you probably should distance yourself from her. Knowing about your own feelings, goals and what you want. Reflecting.

About the kissing thing. Yeah well… you don’t know how many „straight“ girls i kissed 🙄 (and they even initiated it) so yeah.

Im a person that loves communication that’s why my advice is always ask. Ask her about the relationship you guys had. Ask her if she was feeling smth. Ask her if it was just a joke or if she was confused. Just… ask her.

Because her answer might help you (even tho it can and probably would hurt)

[yunick]

i've told myself that i didn't like you anymore. honestly i feel like im lying to myself. ever since i told u my age everything has been dead between us. we were doing so fine and i fucked up, technically it was the right thing to do because i can't imagine lying to you abt that for a long time. i have had many crushes after you but i acc search for you in them. p (my crush rn) the first time i saw him i thought "hey he could be my crush, he kinda looks like m too" that was the first reason that came into my mind to like him. bc he was like you, totally like you. i have never thought of missing you again but here i am currently crying and rereading our old chats. honestly ang weird ng mga chats natin dati but like at least i was happy, i've changed drastically. i've gotten more quiet, i absolutely hate dc now bc it reminds me of you and if i do use it i backread our chats. i can't move on from you. idk why. i think i said this before but u had a big impact in my life even if i was -- when you met me, no one has gave me mixed signals like you, no one has made me risk my life getting a beating stealing my laptop while being grounded just to talk to them, always log in on dc every other time of the day to check if they chatted, no one has made me buy a ---- and think of them everytime i see one. i acc feel so lonely and boring now. especially nung december? i got no merry christmas or happy new year from my friends. i'm trying my best to not think of you thst much anymore but tonight i couldnt help it. when i saw a girl on ur pfp i was js AHHH ganon i honestly dont want to get back tgt, i wanna become friends again. we're acquaintances rn and i hate it. udk how happy i was when u replied to me when i said i was going batangas OMG my keyboard memorised it😭😭 anyway imy :> shld i send this? im feeling risky:>>

i sent this to him april 23, 2024, 1:45 am.

i nvr thought he would see it so i said told myself na isesend ko tas idedelete agad agad. but i was wrong he saw it. when he asked me what i sent my heart was beating so fast. i couldn't believe what just happened

i couldn't believe that he saw it and read a few sentences. he told me that he wasn't done reading and that i was rude for deleting it. so i asked if i should send it again, he said yes. after he read everything he asked me, "why me eunice?" i was stunned, i didn't know what to say or do. and he told me that he gave so many reasons for me to stop chasing him? idk wtv i was doing ig. i acc don't regret sending the paragraph bc i wanted him to know how i felt. wtv i had for him was all in my notes and since i was feeling risky idk i sent it.

if u ever see this, i'm so grateful for you to be a part of my life, for being my first ever crush, mu, kalandian. it's all stupid but i will forever cherish it. malay mo mag meet tayo one day? eh delulu. anyway thank you is all that i can say, m.