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oh-no-its-bird · 25 days

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TMA naruto au time buckle up,

Jon should get to be a half Uchiha bastard who has an infamously hard time controlling his sharingan.

His mangekyo (which he gets very very young when he accidentally leads a bully to their death at the hands of a nukenin with a love of spiders) basically acts as his beholding abilities and can allow him to compel people to sit still and answer anything he asks of them, which gets really messy when you consider a) shinobi society is built on secrets, and b) he has a really hard time turning it off

His visions absoloutley fucked but whatever bloodline his father was from seems to have caused the deterioration of his eyes to stop where it is— and is also the cause of why he has extra difficulty w it's flip switch

Anyways, Inuzuka Daisy or Hatake Daisy, I can't decide. Either way shes wolf coded as fuck and also in a similar boat of being absoloutley shit at controlling her bloodline. She and Jon are so problem child coded, and I think part of the reason she hates him as kids is bc she sees a lot of herself in him but like, at her worst. All of her issues but he just lays down and takes it when she fights tooth and nail against anyone who so much looks at her wrong. They are opposite ends of the spectrum and she's hyper aware of it

I think that when they're older they should get to go on a mission together and basically the whole coffin thing happens but with like an enemy nin w an earth chakra type.

Mmm alternatively tho, sprinkle in hints of the dreaded fears and play w the beasts and yokai of naruto canon, pull some spooky shit.

They get in over their heads, coffin happens, Jon goes back for her then we end with them both just kind of looking at eachother like "there are things in this world we can not comprehend."

Mmm, naruto version of the fears,,, that could be fun. Incorporate the bijuu maybe, idk

Anyways, Daisy hates Jon, coffin time happens and Jon escapes but then goes back for her (if she's a Hatake, this could also play interestingly w parallels to Kakashi) and they come out of the whole thing having Seen Thing(tm) and are irriversably changed and also now very much edging into co-dependant besties territory

Can u tell I'm a big fan of the Daisy and Jon besties agenda bc I so am

Moving on to the others ->

I want to say civilian Martin? I don't have much for him tbh, it'd be cool if he was like distantly related to Haku tho. Give him the cool ice mirror bloodline limit or whatever bc smthn smthn the lonely.

Mmm ok acrually hear me out: civilian Martin who's trying very hard to avoid shinobi things. He's actually a defected Kiri nin who forged a new identity for himself and fled to Konoha to start a new life after the bloodline hunts back in Kiri killed his whole family (except for Haku, but he doesn't know he's still alive) He's trying very hard to fly under the radar, but I doubt he'll succeed for long

I want him to look like all those fun lonely avatar fan arts of him w the sharp teeth, white streaked hair, dulled looking skin and kinda fishy vibes overall actually, but like he uses a seal to keep a permanant henge on him to look normal bc hes very visibly Kiri otherwise

Tim is giving me Yamanaka vibes for some reason. I like that also bc then we could possibly get him and Jon working together in T&I, which like yay parallel to how they used to work together before the archives

Sasha is giving me civilian born shinobi vibes, I think she should get to work in the hokage tower. Paper pusher with big dreams of moving up the latter and really being someone one day. She has her eyes dead set on a position in the Hokage's office

Basira is ,,, somewhere. You really can't have Daisy without her that's just illegal but I'm not too sure where to put her. Civilian born Basira kinda suits her but I'm ngl I'm kinda eyeing Nara Basira. Wait no fuck ok, Nara Basira and she was on a 3 man unit with Tim at one point, now they just need a Akimichi to complete the narashikacho trifecta there

She totally works in T&I now, or maybe with the Uchiha police force? It's like 90% Uchiha but I'm pretty sure some other clans are spotted here in there among them, and if they're not, I mean, I don't actually give a shit so .

I don't know if this is one of those aus where canon is still there but we're just adding tma characters into the mix or if it's just vague naruto setting but tma characters are our focus / replacing the main cast. But I think it's the first. If it was the second tho I'd say Elias as Danzo in a heartbeat

But since it's the first, Nara Elias who got a mysterious eye transplant years ago that seemed to have changed his personality entirley (were totally keeping the body hopping shit, rip the real Nara Elias who's been dead for years)

He's a slimy politician who works closely with Danzo

Ok so main narrative:

I'm thinking the coffin thing happens with Daisy and Jon, and now they're kind of eyes open to the existence of whatever version of the fears exist in this world. Jon is Jon and can't let sleeping dogs lie, and Daisy is Daisy and does her twitchy "there's something dangerous out there I can't control/don't know about" thing so she's really not stopping him, but she is helping him be more smart about it. Sometimes. They're both kind of lose canons tbh holy shit this is gonna be a disaster

So Jon gets kind of obsessed w whatever the FUCK that was, and Elias smells blood in the water and approaches

Idk what's going on with Elias but he's still body hopping bitch boy Jonah here. He's very involved in the fears, and he's had his eyes on Jon for a while. You see, the way that avatars manifest in Naruto world is that sometimes they'll often show their influence through bloodlines— Nara the dark, Yamanaka the beholding, Inuzuka the hunt, it's all there if you look for it.

Those in 'the know' believe that all bloodline limits came from the fears— sometimes their influence shows more than others. And very very rarley, that influence becomes a a bit more... potent, than in others.

Elias believes that Jon is one such instance of this, his strange mangekyo being so painfully and terrifyingly beholding coded, far more than his clansmen who's own mangekyo tend to branch off lightly into territories of different fears.

Jon (and Daisy, but Elias has a clear favorite here) running into such a strong instance of the buried, which is rare on its own, has only made Elias even more interested, taking it as some sort of sign that there really is something especially odd about Jon's unusually strong link to the fears.

Anyways, Elias sponsoring Jon's investigation into the fears, their links to the bijuu, how they interact with chakra and if they might truly be the source of modern bloodline limits.

Konoha secret supernatural task force (not to be confused with ROOT or ANBU) meant to monitor the fears influence in Konoha,,,

(God, of course Elias couldn't help but make his own fucking secret service in opposition to ROOT. He couldn't let Danzo upstage him)

Just like how ANBU has their shoulder seal and ROOT the tongue seal, I'm thinking their seal is a stylized eye on the back of their neck, which ofc Elias is always watching through, rip

Oh fuck, actually give me seal master Elias and his special spy seals he can watch and listen through. It's not a power thing it's just a specialization thing— he has his own eye tattoo that allows him to directly see through all his seals at any time.

Anyways we're calling this organization ARCHIVE bc I am a simple gal. Don't ask what it's supposed to stand for in verse, idk

Idk who else should be in it, or if it should be like ground up and Daisy and Jon are the first. Wait what the fuck am I saying, Gertrude and Gerry obviously. Michael Shelly too, can't forget him

Toss in Mike Crew and Jude Perry also just bc I like them. Maybe Nikola and an Aburame Jane Prentiss? But also idk if I'd want to put them in the position where they're technically working under Elias, I feel like that just doesn't fit. Better to leave them out in the wold to run into instead for conflict. Except Mike Crew, who is my favorite little guy and who should get to be here on loan from Elias' friend and Daimyo's court shinobi, Simon Fairchild

Honestly be funny if Kakashi was in it at one point just bc then he'd have been in all 3 konoha secret services and honestly? Hilarious. Someone give that guy a fucking break oh my god

Obviously Tim, Sasha, Martin and Basira all eventually join in, tho idk how. Maybe Jon is actually asked who would be a good choice for it? Jon says Tim and Daisy says Basira, then they both kinda eye Sasha who's been very fucking vocal ab needing just a chance to get her claws into the hooks of the Konoha power ladder and reccomend her too

Martin is the tricky one, I'm thinking Elias somehow finds out ab his Kiri background and has always wanted to poke more at the lonley's very visible connection to many kiri bloodlines— but Martin's in particular. So he kinda blackmails him into it, but framed in a more friendly "I'll make sure you don't have to hide anymore, I can secure your place in Konoha even with your ancestry :)"

Also maybe he was impressed by Martin's disguise seals, that'd be neat. Seal master Martin but he's Martin so he's like "Ah, I'm really not that good at it :("

(Jon is infuriated by his seemingly natural talent then even more infuriated when it becomes clear he's actual shit at most other shinobi things)

Ok so peddle it back to Mr Jonah eye fuckery Magnus here -> he was once like Jon. A man born into a clan w a link to the beholding, with a light eye themed bloodline limit. But he was born with a stronger tie to their patron than the others, strong enough to recognize they had a patron at all. And by feeding into it (don't ask me how I have no clue) he was able to strengthen that tie, gaining more power, and the ability to body hop through eyes

And he looks at Jon and wonders if he can replicate that in him. Groom him into something closer to their god, then feed him to the beholding to further his own power, which seems to have stagnated in growth.

I think also there's just a good amount of spite for ROOT and hunger for political power that he might get from ARCHIVE, and Jon is a clear fit for it, so like. Add him to the pile !!

I have a couple more vague thoughts for this -> the archive tunnels correlating to ROOT tunnels, the real Elias being childhood friends w Danzo and Hiruzen before Magnus took his body, Madara off in his cave somewhere being influenced by a Zetsu who serves the fears instead of Kaguya, etc.

But I'll leave it here for now, thank u for ur time

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atsukashii · 4 years

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chapter 16 // tell me its over

Apartment 204 - Katsuki Bakugou x reader

<< sixteen >>

|| tell me its over ||

Word count: 4K - because i have no chill

In which Bakugou is your hellish asshole of a downstairs neighbour, and also the cute, broody regular at your work you’ve been hitting on for the past few weeks. Things get complicated though when the past makes a reappearance, then shit kinda hits the fan.

You glance down at your phone, the screen far too bright for your eyes in your dark room. Katsuki’s last message to you is staring you right in the face, sending a sharp pain straight into your chest. Black dots dance across your vision as you remember to breathe.

What is going on?

You know that you’re partially at fault for this, for not telling him even some semblance of the truth about your ex, but you were just trying to not be a damn burden. Why should he have to deal with that? You have had to do things on your own for such a long time, even your friends knew your boundaries - how does one even rely on someone without becoming so co-dependent that it hurts to be away from them? No, you think. Somewhere along the way, you became so used to seeing and being with him, that when you parted it hurt to breathe. Hanging your head in your hands, you press the heels of your hands into your closed eyes trying to stop the pressure from building behind them. How did you get to this point?

What a waste of time…

That line made you so mad. You knew he was hurt and mixing pure anger in with his already not-headed nature, you didn’t deserve to be spoken to like that. And you weren’t going to take it from him that’s for damn sure. Your mixed emotions were swinging between despair and anger like a wrecking ball going through concrete, and you knew if you weren’t careful it would crush everything and crumble the foundations of your very being. But Jesus Christ you just wanted to scream!

“What a fucking asshole!” You suddenly shout, feeling not even a sliver of the building pressure inside your release. You need some mood music, you decide, before you crumple into a useless ball of tears. Maybe you were just unlucky when it came to relationships. You were already aware that your communication skills sucked majorly, but you honestly thought that he was it. That he was that one person that was made just for you, and were you aware that it sounds cringe? Yes, you were. But you didn’t really care, though, if he thinks he can talk to you that way, oh he’s got another thing coming.

Getting up and walking to the stereo in the lounge, you connect your phone and turn the sound dial to deafening.

‘Look inside Look inside your tiny mind Now look a bit harder 'Cause we're so uninspired So sick and tired of all the hatred you harbor’

Turning the music up louder until you can physically feel the bass vibrating the floorboards beneath your feet, you let out a frustrated yell at your whole situation - you would rather be angry than the other option was miserable despair. You’d get to that point eventually, but right now you’re pissed as fuck.

What the actual fuck had happened?

One second, everything had been peachy and perfect, and the next he was accusing you of cheating on him? What utter fucking bullshit! Stomping into the kitchen, you open the cupboard beneath the sink and pull out the vodka you had leftover from your last girls’ night with Ochako a few weeks ago, and tear the lid off.

“What utter bullshit!” You snap at nothing, and raise the rim to your lips, taking one swig. Two. Three. Suddenly, there’s a thumping under your feet that doesn’t come from the beat and you know it’s your asshole neighbor. “Fuck off!” You mumble.

What a fucking waste of time.

You want to hate him.

You want to be violent, to punch him in the face, to scream and cry. You wanted to do something, so that he could possibly feel even a sliver of the pain you were currently enduring...but you couldn’t bring yourself to do even that.

‘You know he’s hurting too, that’s why he bit your head off’. You would call that rational voice in your head common sense, but tonight it could get the fuck out.

Because you know that the reason this hurt so bad, the reason you are breaking down is that you loved that brash asshole that scowls too much. The one that calls you a dumbass but did so with eyes full of admiration. The one that buys you coffee even though he knows you could get it for free from your work because he can, the one who will sit in on a fucking boring ass biology lecture at 8 am in his free time because he was bored and just wanted to be with you. The one that puts your education, dreams, and aspirations at the forefront of his mind, and knows you do the same. The one that helps you study for exams. The one that knew you loved PDA and would do stupidly cute things like hold your hand and kiss you in public even though he despises public displays of affection.

You should have told him about Shindo ages ago. You should have told him how when you’d met the raven-haired boy you were only ten. That you’d been enamoured with him until he finally had made his feelings known when you fifteen. He had been your first everything; first kiss, first love - everything. You had even chosen your current college purely so you could be with him. What a stupid move that was. He made promises that he never kept. Like the flip of a coin, his sweet and kind personality you thought you knew turned into something completely different. You could barely recognize him. Shindo Yo became the psychotic boyfriend that you should steer far clear of. Expecting you to be at his beck and call, you found that being around him no longer took your breath away as it had once before, but instead smothered you.

You should have told Katsuki how you had come home to your shared apartment to find clothing littered across the floor, leading to your bedroom. You knew what was going on before you even recognized what you had heard. You should have told Katsuki about just how much it crushed you, about how you crumpled to the floor after walking right out of your apartment. You should have told him about the slump you were in after. There were days when you wanted to scream and days when you wanted to cry. You should have told your boyfriend that your ex had cheated on you and that he was pestering you non-stop. You should have trusted him, you should have relied on him. But that’s the thing about looking back on something, you see every little mistake you’ve made and how you could have changed it, but you can’t change what’s in the past.

You know that you were partially in the wrong for this, but so was he. Who does he think he is talking to someone like that? You know he’s hot-headed and can be borderline arrogant, but the way he spoke to you? Maybe you didn’t need that in your life…

‘Your point of view is medieval…’ Lilly Allen’s voice sings through your speakers and you frown at the blank tv in front of you. You had every right to be pissed at him right now, and though you know you may never truly hate him, you could be fucking livid. The chorus hit and you stood up on your couch and shouted the lyrics along with the music.

“Fuck you! Fuck you very, very much. 'Cause we hate what you do and we hate your whole crew, so, please don't stay in touch!” You all but scream, not caring for anything but the anger and pain trying to burst its way out of you. Your phone vibrates in your pocket and faster than you would like to admit it finds its way to your hand.

Text from Unknown: Y/n...can we please meet up. I just want to talk to you again, I miss us. Hear me out please gorgeous... - Shindo.

You feel something inside you begin to crack as the tiny sliver of hope you had that it was Katsuki leaves you. There is no hesitation as you turn off your phone and toss it on the couch away from you.

“Why are all men douchebags?” You ask yourself, tears threatening to fall as your anger begins to shift to something else. No no no, you’re not going to cry. You are not a fucking crybaby y/n... Earlier, the idea of being alone sounded like what you needed, but now, the music blasting, your apartment felt eerily quiet and your heartbeat echoed inside your head in perfect synchronization with the beat. You just knew you as you had reread your boy- ex’s texts, you couldn’t have your friends right that second because you knew you would break down and burst into a useless puddle of tears and you were better than that. You were stronger than that. A boy wasn’t going to break your heart. Not again.

“Do you really enjoy living a life that's so hateful? 'Cause there's a hole where your soul should be,” you mumble along with the song, sitting on the edge of the couch just listening along with the words. Your brain wanders to your friends, and then automatically to Kirishima and Kaminari. His friends were so nice to you and were people you had started to think of as your own friends. Ones he was so rude to but fiercely loyal to. Why couldn’t he be this loyal to you…

You feel sobs building at the back of your throat and try to swallow them down. It hurt too much; his accusation was a force of relentless bullets that keep ripping new wounds into you. The thought of ever doing that to someone else, of someone having to go through what you had, it made you sick to your stomach. Your heart physically throbbed painfully inside your chest. Looking at the vodka, you decide against it and go looking for some water.

You wouldn’t have heard of it if you hadn’t had to walk past the door of your apartment. The vigorous pounding and a voice shouting that's muffled by the music. Your downstairs neighbor no doubt. Oh, you were so not in the right frame of mind to deal with this. The pounding force rattles your door and for a second you think it may just break off its hinges.

Jesus Christ is this person fucking insane?!

Your somewhat ‘war’ with them had been put on hiatus recently as you had spent a lot of time between Ochako’s and the boy’s apartment as its location was much closer to school. Also with everything going on with Katsuki, you had forgotten just how much of a raging asshole the dickbag downstairs was. But now you remember every little crappy thing they had done, the blender going off before five am, his constant complaints when you were up later than eight, oh and that fucking note! The audacity that they had to pull that crap... Fury fills your blood again as you stomp towards your door, finally ready to give them a piece of your mind. You don’t care if they were an old person like you had previously assumed, they were being an insensitive asshole! Can’t they hear you’re in pain? Sniffling, a burst of anger left your mouth as you yank the door open.

“Leave me the fuck alone you miserable-” what met your gaze stopped you in your sentence, cementing your feet to the ground.

No, this can’t be happening right now. The horror in your eyes stared back at a pair of red vermillion ones, as your next breath rushed out in a gasp. His bloodshot eyes previously filled with rage that rivalled yours quickly morph into shock.

You stare at the boy that broke your heart not even an hour ago. You look at Katsuki Bakugou and his beautiful face, and everything that happened today tears through you like a wave of blades. A pathetically broken noise comes out of your throat and you immediately slammed the door in the blonde's face.

Oh my god…

Your legs collapse beneath, you causing you to fall to the floor. Oh my god, he was your neighbor. This whole time, he had been downstairs. Katsuki had been the one to drive you fucking mad whilst also make you feel so weightless and happy. The shock causes your body to shake as sobs rip through you, no longer able to hold anything in.

No, no please don’t let him be here. He can’t be here.

And the previously cracking piece inside of you shatters.

❀ ❀ ❀

You’re not sure how long you stay there for, back against the door, weeping as if a limb has been severed from your body. The only indication of time moving on around you is through the ever-changing music seeping from your speakers. By the time your world somewhat comes back to focus, Kodaline is playing in the background.

There's a gentle thump on the door, and you, for a moment, ignore it. You don’t want to see anybody. As if hearing you, you feel the next tap right on your spine followed by a soft voice.

“Y/n…” You force yourself to stand up and look through the peephole of your front door, the music playing too loudly for you to determine who is on the other side. You brace yourself for the worst, not really though knowing what that is - but the sight that meets you is a welcomed one. Another broken sob rips out of your chest as you see a pair of heterochromatic eyes that you have known since you were a child. You sling open the door so fast, the slam of it hitting the opposite wall is felt through the floor. Without a second of hesitation and without a single word, you throw yourself on your best friend and let your sobs be muffled by his shirt.

“I’ve got you,” Shouto says, holding your head against his chest. Never before, have you been so glad to see them in your entire life. You’re not surprised at all by their arrival, however, because they knew you, just as you knew them.

You feel Todo walk you inside and sit on the couch, with you tucked up next to him in silence. The music is turned off and they don’t ask what happened, doesn’t demand anything from you, Todo just holds you as Izuku whizzes around your apartment like a man on a mission.

“He-he…” You try to say, making both boys stop to look at you. Your voice is hoarse from your crying and your throat burns at the attempt, but you need to get it off your chest. Todo’s serious gaze encourages you to find your voice again and between sobs, you manage to get it out. “He was my neighbor. Downstairs.” they look at each other before looking at you, a mix between anger, disbelief, and shock.

“You’re going to come and stay with us for a few days,” Is all Todo says in response, not leaving any room for discussion as you break down crying once again. Relief floods through you, both at having them here, but also for not having to be in the same building as Katsuki.

With haste, they gather what you need and you quickly hurry down the stairs, the boys glaring at the level below yours as if tossing up the idea of getting into a physical brawl. You know that had they known just who occupied the apartment below yours before arriving at your rescue, they would have made a quick pit-stop at apartment 104. Shouto opens the passenger door for you and quietly, you slip inside. You wipe your nose on your sweater sleeve and try to muffle your sniffles. Once the car is started and you’re buckled in, from his spot behind you, Izuku wraps his arms around your shoulders, hugging you to the chair. You lean back into your friend’s embrace as he kisses you on the head.

“You want some chocolate?” He asks quietly, and Todo actually snorts.

“Contrary to popular belief, chocolate doesn’t fix anything Izuku.”

“Really? Because I have proof that it does,” he sasses back, resting his head on your chair.

“I’m good for now, thanks Zuzu.” You look between your two friends and try your best to give them a sad smile. “Thank you for coming to get me.”

“Whatever you need, we’re here y/n.” Shouto says, and your lips wobble. God, they were so precious to you. Sensing your inner turmoil, Izuku squeezes you tighter and you chastely peck the arm across your chest in thanks. You don’t know what you would do without them, or where you would even be.

The rest of the trip is relatively quiet, only Zuzu’s humming as songs play on the radio fills the car, and you’re grateful for even that distraction. When you finally make it to their shared apartment, you open the door and there’s Ochako, pacing and looking so damn worried. Meeting her halfway, you let her pull you into her as the silent tears you can’t seem to stop, run down your cheeks.

“We’re watching movies,” she says, leading you into the lounge where you find three mattresses on the floor. You give them all a watery smile in thanks but turns into a broken attempt at a laugh as your eyes lock onto the three bags of KFC now in Shouto’s hands.

“You feed a small army with all that food.” You smile, wiping your nose.

“We’re basically the same thing.” Todo points out as you all sit down and get comfortable on the floor. With your friends surrounding you, you give them all another sad smile and try to wipe away the uncontrollable tears as they fall.

“I love you guys so much.” You sniffle. Pulling you into him, Todo wraps an arm around your shoulder, and Ochako hugs your waist.

“We love you too chickadee, more than you will ever know.” But, you think as you look over them and then at the Disney opening on the tv screen, you do know, and you love them just as much.

He stands outside the door of the apartment above his own - your door, staring at it with wide eyes. No fucking way were you his neighbor. He wasn’t a moron, or inept, he would have known that. Surely he had walked you home before?...no, you had been staying at Ochako’s a lot because it was closer to your work and classes… Your love for abba, your fucking sass, and annoying tendency to take no shit from even him that he adored.

God, it was so obvious. How did he not fucking know?

Turning down the stairs, he all but sprints back to his room, clenching his phone so tight in his hand it almost cracks the screen. Fuck he needs to talk to someone or hit something. Some divine intervention that could prevent his phone from certain death emerged through an incoming call. Without hesitation, Katsuki answers, knowing full well who’s on the other side and his mouth moves too fast for him to comprehend. Looks like it’s talking and not hitting something.

“She was my fucking neighbor Kirishima.” he blurts out, his ass falling onto his couch as he speaks. Leaning back and he looks up at the ceiling as if he could still see her broken face when she had answered the door and seen him. He was sure that the shock on his face mirrored hers, but then the pain that it turned into... Good! She should be feeling what I felt. His brain argues against the very words, but he doesn’t care.

Katsuki manages to catch a very confused reply from his friend and rubs the bridge of his nose with his free hand.

“She’s my upstairs neighbor.” He repeats, the situation finally daunting on him. The girl he had been dating for months was living above him, making his life hellish whilst doing the opposite when she was with him. Fuck my life.

“Fuck man,” Kirishima says distracted, and Katsuki can’t blame him. “I’m assuming you saw her or something then?” The redhead asks carefully. A growl rips out of Katsuki’s throat and he stands up, fisting a hand in his hair. He so wished that he hadn’t seen you. That someone else had opened that door, instead of your broken expression and bloodshot eyes. The way you had looked at him was as if he were something between a ghost and your worst nightmare.

“I wish I fucking hadn’t,” he admits.

“Bro, she obviously meant something to you so I’m not surprised that you’re hurting-”

“Well, she doesn’t anymore. That shit’s done and thank god for it.” He wants to be fucking livid at you but no matter the shitty things he says about you, all he can see is your pained face and the feeling dissolves into nothing, leaving only despair in its wake. The words actually hurt as he says it, and Kirishima sighs from the other side of the phone - as if he could hear the turmoil in his voice. But the redhead doesn’t mention it. Good, because there would be hell to pay if he had.

“I’m currently staring at a half-full bottle of scotch from work right now, and am feeling kinda pathetic about drinking myself. Want some?” Katsuki knows that his friend doesn’t want to fucking drink. He works as a personal trainer most mornings during the week, including Saturdays, so getting slammed on a Friday night was something he often opted out of. But for this situation, for what his friend was going through, he’d do it. Or at least would watch over Bakugou as he got roaring drunk.

“That is fucking pathetic shitty hair,” he replies, shaking his head at his friend’s antics. “Bring the fucking bottle or you’re not coming in.”

“I knew you’d think so. I’ve got spiced ribs too just sitting here, I’m going to bring them too.” Katsuki would have to be an idiot to believe his friend would have one of his favourite foods just hanging around, but he didn’t object to it. “You’re second favorite bro might also make an appearance. But we can decide that depending on how much he pisses me off in the car.” For a moment, Katsuki’s lips tick up, but quickly drop again as he hears the sound of a door closing coming from above him. You’re leaving.

Without realizing it, his hand has moved up to his chest where he gently rubs the skin above his heart.

“I don’t care, Kirishima. Just hurry the fuck up and get over here.” He can hear Denki in the background and chooses to ignore them both before with a final curse at his friends, he hangs up the phone. His feet drag him to the window of his apartment that looks over the car parking of your apartment complex, and it’s like the world has a vendetta against Katsuki Bakugou this past week. Because there you are, getting into a car as your friend with the half and half hair closes the door behind you. From this angle, he can see you clearly through the passenger side window, and he can see the tears running down your cheeks. He has an urge to run to you, one that he blatantly ignores because you don’t deserve it.

He’s better off without you.

Your green-haired, freckly friend wraps his arms around your shoulders - and then the car is gone. Katsuki turns his back on the window and walks towards the kitchen.

He’s better off without you. The whole thing was a fucking mistake. He doesn’t need anyone. His aspirations will take up everything he is, and he would much rather focus on that than you.

Anything otherwise isn’t even worth a fucking thought.

a/n: whew, that was a doozy. Sorry if its a bit wordy, I just had to get it all out. This will be the only written chapter of this series, so everything from here on out is back to the social media format. We’re so close to the end now its so scary. This smau is my baby and I love it lots so its really sad.

Tag list below. Wanna be tagged? shoot me an ask!

@alexismiszczak

@anastar-legion

@ambitchousaf

@a-timeheist

@bakubatty

@bikinibrattoms

@breaking-ur-kneecaps

@bubbzibubbles

@ew-i-hate-that-goaway921

@fangirls-are-scary

@fukyouthink

@goodpop9

@hamiltrash1411

@iamthe-leaf

@icy-hot

@its-bnha-babe

@janilovecookies

@jiminscarmex

@jujubs1080

@livajoh

@lovely-abilenne

@luna-bloodrose

@manyfull

@maureenika

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@sally-wonders

@stuck-1n-space

@takoyakiuchiha

@thatshortanimegirl

@todoroki-my-bbyboi

@urhentaiwaifu23

@user3162732

@wthyuta

@writingsofawonderer

@zaliadaily

@zoppzoop

@00ashpop00

@91912512

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@cybershocked

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@httppbaby

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@babyxkatsuki

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@sizzlingbarbarianglitter

@aleenamalfoy

@samanthaa-leanne

@nerdynstoned

@pride-of-persephone

@a-nhi

@overtherecommendeddose

@depression-247

@catzula

@bakus-bitch

@legalownerofakaashikeiji

@bakuhoe03

@hereticpriest

@bunniotomia

@loudraws5

@whisperingwolfie

if your name has a strike it wouldn’t tag :(

552 notes · View notes

hiccanna-tidbits · 3 years

Note

*kicking at your door, smashing it* DING DONG

Hello! 🥰🌸

from "Questions You Should Be Able To Answer For Any OTP" 1,3,4,5,9 and 10 for moanida!😅💜 But you can answer all of them or only few of them is it's too much ahaha

Ily, take care!!

YEAH BOIIII

Coffee shop AU: Who is the barista, and who frequents the coffee shop?

I'm just imagining Moana being a barista at some hole-in-the-wall authentic Polynesian coffee place by the beach, and of course Merida because she damn well needs her caffeine in the morning or she'll pass out, and Rapunzel insists on starting these fucking Squad Beach Days early. Merida was honestly willing to take the first cup of coffee she could get when the gang first went into town, but uhhhhhh oh GOD that girl behind the counter is cute!!! Merida starts "ending up" in there quite a lot, although initially she can barely string a coherent sentence together in front of that cute barista and can't make eye contact for more than half a second. Extroverted as she can be, Merida dissolves into an absolute mess as soon as a pretty girl is involved XD

Merida also pretends to only like black coffee to make herself seem tough, but in reality she kind of hates it and prefers sugar-laden lattes and sweet teas. After a while, when she and Mo have established kind of a friendship, and Merida can have an conversation with Mo without imploding and making an idiot of herself, Mo notices Mer making a face every time she sips her Plain Black Coffee and kinda smirks and is like “You know, there’s no shame in adding sweeteners. I mean, for god’s sake, my favorite drink here is the blonde vanilla coconut latte, and I’m still pretty tough.” Merida is just like “OH THANK GOD” and finally admits that she’d much rather be ordering an Irish crème, toffee, buttered rum, cinnamon, or caramel latte. If the seasonal flavor selection offers any apple-accented or apple pie-esque lattes, Merida’s all about that shit, too! Probably the most “intense” drink Merida actually enjoys is a pretty spicy cinnamon latte. She ends up ordering this pretty frequently to impress Moana with her spice tolerance, even though she really doesn’t need to.

Also, in case there’s any question about it--yes, Moana absolutely memorizes Merida’s orders! Moana also memorizes what flavor syrups Merida seems to like best (i.e. spicy cinnamon, apple pie, caramel, toffee, butterscotch) and gives them extra shots of them in her drinks. When the manager complains about all of Merida’s favorite flavor syrups running out frequently, Moana is like “Oh nooooo, I have no idea why THAT could be! That’s terrible!”

Rivals to lovers AU: Who takes their rivalry seriously, and who is half in it just to push the other’s buttons?

I love the idea of them having a super-petty sports rivalry in a modern AU! Merida strikes me as being competitive as hell, so I’m betting anything she’d be the one to take it way too seriously and get increasingly annoyed with Moana outdoing her, while Mo kind of gives in and indulges Mer but is also secretly amused and kind of flattered that Mer is like...that into their rivalry. Moana’s just like *Regina George voice* “Why are you so OBSESSED with me???”

Like maybe in a modern-day college AU, Merida has been the star of her college’s archery team basically since freshman year. She wins the championships!!! She gets the trophies!!! She’s very well-known within the tiny niche community that is college archery!!! Then, come junior year, this girl in Merida’s year who Merida’s never even SEEN before shows up out of nowhere and makes the cut for the team. She’s honestly way better than she has any right to be (like judging by how she is with that harpoon gun, Moana’s aim is pretty damn good) and is constantly stealing the spotlight, and Merida is a very angry lass. Like it seems like no matter what she does, Moana can always one-up her, and Merida wants to tear her hair out in frustration. Doesn’t help that every time Moana does ridiculously good on a drill and gets 7 bullseyes in a row or some shit, she’s insufferably smug and cocky about it. Merida very-nearly throws a fit every time Mo outdoes her, and Moana honestly finds the whole thing pretty amusing. She’s sort of flattered that apparently only she can get such dramatic reactions out of Mer, and that just tempts her to push Mer’s buttons all the more.

Then, come the annual Big Archery Tournament Finals! As usual, Merida’s college’s team wins--although this time, it’s through a combination of Merida’s and Moana’s skills rather than just Merida kicking archery ass for like 2 hours straight. On the individual evaluations, Moana scores higher than Merida, but only by a little bit. Merida is, of course, extremely salty, but she’s also grudgingly grateful that Moana being there was able to give their team a definitive edge in the competition.

Afterwards, the team goes out for celebratory drinks. After probably 3 drinks too many, Moana finally works up the courage to try and actually like...have a straight conversation with Merida for once, instead of just communicating with passive-aggressive show-offery. She wanders over, sits next to Mer at the bar, and half-slurredly asks if she can declare a truce just for one night, in honor of their kind-of-teamwork winning the tournament. Merida is also a few drinks in, so she’s just like “sure, fuck it, maybe yer not so bad after all. Now prove to me you’re not a pain in the arse!”

They chat for a while, and it turns out Moana is actually pretty easygoing and fun to talk to when she’s not mega-flexing with her archery skills. After a few more drinks, Moana is like “...can I tell you something?” and Merida’s like “why not?”

And then Moana just goes bright red and looks away and admits that the whole reason she got into archery and boosted up her skills enough to join the team in the first place was because she saw Merida making like 50 bullseyes at the previous year’s tournament, and developed a huge crush on her--to the point where she did all this extra-ass shit just so she could join the archery team and get to know Merida better. Also, every instance of Moana acting smug and cocky after acing a drill or perfectly hitting a target? It was honestly because she was trying to impress and show off to Merida, and also because she’s awkward as hell and has no idea how to actually flirt without being joke-mean and joke-cocky. Merida, a much more emotional drunk than she will ever admit, starts crying and gets super apologetic, because oh god, she was being so mean and rude to this girl who only ever thought she was cool and wanted to impress her from the jump??? How COULD she??? Moana lowkey loses her shit laughing because how mad Merida got at being upstaged was honestly kind of hilarious, and she was actually really flattered that Merida was, again, that obsessed with their rivalry. It made Moana feel weirdly special that only she could get to Merida that much, and she honestly liked the attention, even if it...wasn’t the most positive XD And Merida starts laughing, too, because she’ll admit that in hindsight, this whole thing feels a little ridiculous, and extracurricular college archery really isn’t that big of a deal.

Finally, Merida just rolls her eyes and says “C’mere, yeh bloody show-off yeh” and grabs Moana by the front of her archery uniform and smooches her!!! The entire archery team hoots and hollers because OH SHIT, DAT GAY!!! Merida holds out her other hand and flips the entire team off, which honestly just makes them cheer more.

Enemies to lovers AU: Which one switches sides?

Depends a lot on the conflict, I think! Maybe a war breaks out in an AU where someone other than Moana is chosen to return the Heart of Te Fiti--I’m gonna say Tui, for irony’s sake! Moana and Sina take over as co-chiefs while he’s gone, but he takes significantly longer than Moana did in the quest, so Moana’s tribe is eventually forced to flee Motunui to find new fishing grounds before their island is overtaken by darkness. The people of Motunui sail across the world, trying to find a new place to call home. Unfortunately, every time they find a habitable place, it’s already occupied, and the people who live there are uninterested in sharing their already-scarce food.

Eventually they stumble upon Dunbroch, far enough away from Motunui that the seas aren’t affected by the spreading darkness, and fish are plentiful. Naturally, Moana’s tribe sets up a camp on the shores and starts catching as many fish as they can, hoping they’ve finally found a place where they can have enough to eat again. Unfortunately Fergus and Elinor aren’t too crazy about this, and are like “yo, these oceans and these fish and other game belong to the people of Dunbroch and you gotta leave” and Sina and Moana are like “Pls we don’t have any place to go and we’ve been barely eating for a long-ass time, can’t you spare some food?” and Fergus and Elinor are like “sorry bro, it’s almost winter and we have our own entire kingdom to look after, we don’t need more mouths to feed. You gotta be on your way or shit’s gonna get real.”

So Moana thinks this sounds sketch as fuck because like...there’s an entire forest full of deer, rabbits, and other game, and they have NO food they can spare??? That night, Sina sends Moana to spy on the kingdom, since she can be pretty sneaky when she wants. Moana manages to climb the castle battlements and watch through a window, and she sees a bunch of people enjoying a massive feast in a huge dining hall. Her eyes are particularly drawn to a girl about her age with a head full of bright, fiery curls, wearing a nice dark green dress and gorging herself on pastries adorned with white icing and raspberries.

Moana heads back and tells Sina “actually it looks like these assholes have PLENTY of food to spare, and they just want to keep it all for themselves” and Sina is like “well shit...why don’t we raid their food store, then??? They’ve gotta have one somewhere!” And so the Motunui village storms Castle Dunbroch at dawn, catching them almost completely by surprise.

The first thing Moana does is seek out the redheaded pastry girl, whom she’s developed a particular disdain for. When she rushes her, she’s surprised that the ginger girl whips around and immediately sends an arrow sailing into her shoulder. When Moana gets close, the redheaded girl pulls out a sword. Moana takes out a long, sharpened wooden spear made from a particularly tough oar.

She turns out to be much more competent than Moana expected, especially for someone who was shamelessly shoving sweets into her mouth not 7 hours earlier.

They go toe to toe Raya-and-Namaari style, and the redheaded girl admittedly gives Moana a run for her money. The longer the battle goes on, the more Moana’s rage grows. She taunts the redheaded girl the entire time, calling her a spoiled, selfish brat who’d rather gorge herself with all the sugar in the world than share even one grain of it. Merida, who hasn’t exactly heard good things about these people from her parents, is just like “well, you’re no better, showing up and thinking you can just steal what belongs to Dunbroch and we won’t put up a fight!”

And thus the war begins. Motunui is never quite strong enough to get through the guards and raid the food stores, and Dunbroch is never quite strong enough to fully drive Motunui out of the kingdom. Fergus and Moana are both far too stubborn to surrender (despite the fact that Sina is kind of ready to), and so the battles continue. Casualties start to pile up. Dunbroch seeks help from the other clans, but they refuse--they did not take their leaders’ sons being scorned by the Dunbroch princess lightly.

Over and over, Moana can’t help but be drawn to the redheaded girl. She realizes after a few battles that this girl isn’t just anymore, but the Dunbroch princess--her resemblance to the king and his protectiveness over her can’t be a coincidence. It only makes Moana hate her more--but time and time again, she isn’t able to get the better of the princess. Moana can fight hard, and she can be vicious--but so, she’s discovering, can the Dunbroch girl. The princess is clever and cunning, and underestimating her has almost gotten Moana a blade in the throat one too many times.

Merida would be the one to change sides eventually, I think (wooo! Finally got to the actual question!). Once she finds out her parents didn’t tell her the whole truth about their first meeting with the Motunui village and sorta fudged what happened, Merida is livid that they turned away people who needed help. She said if she had known there were people who were tired and hungry and just needed a place to rest, she would have gladly given up some of her own meals for them! To prove this, she gathers up her dinner--plus some apples and some pastries she was going to have for dessert--and puts it in a basket, taking it to the Motunui camp as a peace offering. Moana ambushes her and very nearly slices the basket in half, if only because Moana was convinced it was filled with venemous snakes. After some bickering, Moana finally snatches the food away and, after testing it to make sure it wasn’t poisoned, brings it to Sina.

Unfortunately, one basket of food isn’t enough to feed the village, and the fighting continues. Merida tries to convince her parents to share their food stores with Motunui, but they still refuse, saying they need those stores for their own people and the Motunui people killed any chance of goodwill they might get when they attacked. Determined not to see people starve, Merida starts stealing from the reserve herself and sneaking the food out to the Motunui camp. Moana is feeling a lot more kindly towards Merida at this point, and feels a little bad about being so quick to judge her initially.

Eventually, Fergus and Elinor notice the food in the stores going missing, and figure some of the Motunui villagers must be running stealth operations to sneak in and get it. Dunbroch launches a full-scale attack on Montunui--while Merida is at their camp sneaking them food, in fact. Fergus makes a beeline for Moana. Word has gotten out by now of the times she managed to spy on the castle, so her sneakiness is well-known--and Fergus is all but certain she’s the thief. He charges at her with his sword, aimed to kill, when his own daughter steps in the way.

He barely manages to stop himself, but he does just in time. Merida admits she was stealing the food the whole time, and she can’t let Fergus hurt Moana. Fergus demands to know why, and Merida tearfully admits “Because I love her!”

Fergus, in a rage, takes out his sword again and charges Merida. Swords clash between father and daughter, and Merida looks like she’s just about to be overpowered. Moana can see the fear and betrayal in her eyes, appalled that her father would actually contemplate hurting her.

Not wanting to see whether he actually would, Moana steps in and helps Merida to fend Fergus off. “Enough!” she screams. “How can you live with yourself? My father risked his life to try to save his daughter and his people--and you’re willing to fight yours because she doesn’t agree with all this senseless violence?! You make me sick! I’m standing with Merida, because...because I love her too. I’ll leave if you want, but I want this to end.”

This finally snaps Fergus out of it, and he and Elinor decide that maybe the fighting has gone on long enough--and maybe it’s not worth it anymore, if it’s pitting them against their own daughter now. They end up trying to work out something with Motunui. Establishing a peace treaty and figuring out how to proceed forward is a long and messy process, but everyone is willing to put in the work--for the sake of Merida and Moana, if for nothing else.

Soulmate AU: Who is eager to meet their soulmate? Who absolutely does not want to meet their soulmate?

Neither of them want to meet their soulmate XD Merida has just been repulsed by the idea of marriage and commitment since she was young, mainly because she can’t not see it as just a means of taking her freedom away and making her be subservient to someone. Besides, given the, um...heteronormative culture of Dunbroch and all, she assumes she’ll get not just stuck with, but cosmically bound to a man and that idea just...doesn’t do anything but fill her with unadulterated disgust XD Like please no, she’s perfectly happy to go where she pleases when she pleases with no one but Angus for company. The last thing she needs is some stuck-up, snot-nosed boy telling her what she can and can’t do.

Moana has similar concerns, although maybe a bit less extreme. She’s mainly worried that when she meets her soulmate and, as per expectation, marries them, she’ll be expected to “mature” into a full adult and fully embrace her responsibilities as chief, leaving behind her childhood dreams of exploring the ocean. Same as Merida, she’s worried the person she’s destined for will tie her down and prevent her from exploring and going on the adventures she craves so badly. She’s also, like Merida, worried she’ll get stuck with some lame, boring dude who she’ll be destined for because...he loves her!!! And will be really nice to her!!! But will not stimulate or interest her in any way whatsoever!!! And Moana is pretty uninterested in romance and dating regardless, so the idea of any kind of romantic partner who she’d hypothetically have to run crazy ideas by before just doing them doesn’t sound too appealing to her. Like, she’s happy where she is and having her friends and family for company, what does she need an SO for??? It just feels like the whole “soulmate” business is just the universe attempting to give her a babysitter, and Moana ain’t about that. She can do things on her own, dammit!!! And what makes the great elder love gods think she wants another person to keep track of on her escapades, anyways?!? It’s enough effort keeping herself safe without worrying about someone else!

Imagine their shocked delight when each finds out their soulmate is a) a girl and b) a girl arguably just as chaotic, adventurous, and rebellious as they are!!! They meet and they’re like “huh...maybe the universe wasn’t being some big dumb fucking idiot binding us together after all. I can work with this!!!”

Pirate AU: Who is the pirate? Who is the member of the royal family who did not sign up for this?

Merida is the pirate! Or at least...the one who becomes a pirate first! XD Maybe to escape her betrothal she steals a ship and flees Dunbroch, and BOOM trouble on the High Seas time!!! Eventually she sails to the south Pacific on her naval escapades, and stumbles on Motunui. When she finds out Moana is a chief’s daughter, she naturally kidnaps her and holds her for ransom--because screw it, she hasn’t successfully pillaged any merchant ships recently and she needs some cash. But instead of being like “Noooo take me home!” Moana is like “Actually this fucks, I’ve always wanted to sail the ocean anyways and my dad wouldn’t let me before, so you’ve accidentally given me an avenue to achieve my dreams!!! Thank you!!!” And Merida realizes that a first mate would actually be a lot more useful in the long run than a handful of hostage money, so she just kind of shrugs like “aight, yer on the crew.”

Merida is a bit salty because Moana takes to the pirate lifestyle excellently--so much so that before long, she’s arguably a better pirate than Merida XD While Merida is a bit cranky about being outdone in the art of piracy, she also can’t help but admire Moana’s natural aptitude for sailing and propensity for mischief on the High Seas!!!

Their ship is called “The Arrow,” and Merida definitely uses her bow during pirate-to-pirate combat! She teaches Moana how to shoot a bow, but discovers Mo is pretty nifty with a harpoon gun as well!

Childhood best friends AU: Which one was super obviously in love with the other the whole time? Who was oblivious until they were older?

Oooooh, this is a fun one!!! Admittedly I don’t usually think about these girls in a Childhood Friends to Lovers AU (very possibly due to...geographical constraints lol) so this’ll be a cool thought experiment!

SO in order to fix my unfortunate geographical constraints, I’m gonna say that this is an AU where the people of Motunui were wayfinders from the jump, and while voyaging (admittedly a LONG way), they stumbled upon Dunbroch. Moana’s parents and Merida’s parents immediately hit it off, and established a political alliance of sorts.

Moana, meanwhile, pulled the classic “little girl on vacation/at an event immediately seeks out other little girl and becomes best friends with her.” Moana and Merida naturally also hit it off immediately, and are both pretty bummed out when Tui and Sina want to leave and continue voyaging and such. However, they make plans to visit as frequently as they can and Merida and Moana are super hyped about this! They both always get extremely excited for said visits, and Little Moana nearly falls off the front of her family’s boat several times because she’s leaning over so far and squinting so hard to try and see Dunbroch.

I love the idea that Moana was the one who was totally smitten from the jump, to the point where it took her years to realize she was aspec because she was like “Of course I can fall in love!!! I’m in love with Merida!!!” She just didn’t realize most people have romantic inclinations toward more than one person over the course of their lives XD

It absolutely does not help that Merida is extremely romance-repulsed when they’re kids--mainly because she associates romance in general with being docile and acting stupid to impress some annoying macho guy, and that thought kinda makes her want to puke. That, and given how, er...heteronormative things are in Dunbroch, it doesn’t reall occur to her that romancing girls is like...an option. So poor Moana has always kind of resigned herself to thinking she has no chance with Merida, and keeps her feelings under pretty tight lock since she doesn’t want to ruin their close friendship and all and she doubts Merida even swings that way.

THEN when they’re in their early teens, Merida is like “hmmm...I wonder what it would be like to kiss Moana?” but then IMMEDIATELY feels weird for thinking that and tells absolutely no one. She’s definitely starting to feel something a little different than just platonic friendship though, and of course she’s also convinced Moana only sees her as a friend and probably doesn’t like girls.

Then one day they’re wrestling around out in the woods, like they have since they were little, and at one point Merida leans down and just impulsively kisses Moana. She’s super flustered and apologetic afterwards, but Moana just stares in shock before being like “holy shit, I never thought you’d actually want me too. Holy shit!!!!” After that, they start secret-dating and everyone around just thinks they’re still “very good friends” XD

When Merida turns 16 and gets the news of her betrothal, she’s devastated. It takes her several days to process her emotions, and several times she tries to protest to her mother, but Elinor steamrolls her and talks over her at every turn. Finally, when Merida can get a word in edgewise, she tearfully bursts out that she can’t go through with this because she loves Moana. Elinor, traditionally-minded woman that she is, is horrified by this.

When Fergus finds out, he GOES OFF at Elinor and sticks up for Merida. He basically says that she’s their daughter and they should want her to be happy, and they should be happy for her that she did find someone she loves, even if it’s a bit...unconventional.

Later, at the betrothal ceremony, Merida picks an archery contest for the suitors with the hopes of cheating the system and winning her own hand. Imagine her surprise when Moana rushes in late with a makeshift bow on her hip, shouting “I am Moana of Motunui, and I’ll be shooting for the princess’s hand as well!”

Luckily, due to Moana’s years and years of informal archery training from Merida herself, the other suitors really don’t stand a chance.

It turns out that Elinor and Fergus set this whole thing up, deciding in the end that their daughter should at least be able to marry who she loves if she had to get looped into a political marriage. And honestly, they weren’t going to say no to a stronger alliance with Motunui at the end of the day. Merida is so pleasantly shocked by the whole thing that she forgets to be mad about the fact that she’s still being pressured into a marriage pretty young XD Luckily, Moana has no intention of trying to hold Merida back or take her freedom away! Their relationship really barely changes after they officially become wives, and they’re still just as in love as they’ve basically always been.

As for the issue of heirs, Elinor and Fergus just make Merida’s brothers the heirs of Dunbroch, and Tui and Sina are fine with Moana and Merida choosing an heir for Motunui who isn’t necessarily their biological child. Neither Moana nor Merida are crazy about the “leaders have to be from the chief/monarch’s bloodline” rule anyways, so they’re more than fine with this!

This is in reference to this post! Still answering these questions for Moanida and Hiccanna, if I haven’t done so already!

@takaraphoenix come get your daily dose of Moanida!

#moanida #moana x merida #merida x moana #disney femslash #otp questions #merida #moana #moanaxmerida #meridaxmoana #moarida #merana #meridana #moana waialiki #merida dunbroch #rotbtd #brave #crossover

16 notes · View notes

ssin-ent · 5 years

Text

WayV as Yanderes

so so so a little note first: this was supposed to be co written with @under-the-moanlight but in the end she ended up writing most of it (if it's not everything) Without her this post wouldn't have been possible!cause I'm a dumbass who don't know how to stay organised!

so you guys better go give her a loooooot of love cause that's what she deserves and also go subscribe to her blog she writes amazingly well!-love you so much sweetheart😉-

end of the note ENJOY💖

-------

[no warning cause there's no smut but I can do one( and myself jddjthis time)with smuts only if you'd like]

KUN:

•Almost scary, you’re his everything and he would never EVER let you go, now that he found you be sure you’re with him forever, he practically never leaves your side. you come home, he is with you, you go somewhere? he is with you.

•hurting or even killing someone to keep you by his side is not a problem for kun, he’ll do everything it costs him so no one looks at you or touches you even tho he finds it disgusting, it gets him on his nerves that people don’t understand that you’re his so he has to acts in consequences.

•when he discovered his feelings for you, he completely changed: he went from sweet and caring to obsessed with you, almost psychopath. his whole life took an odd turn, he is so obssessed with you that he has reached the point of the return.

•He doesn’t want you to show interests into other people, but since hurting you is the very last thing in his mind, he’ll just hurt or remove thoses persons from your life so you don’t show interest anymore.

TEN:

•if you laugh, he laughs, if you love something, he loves it too, but if you’re hurted, he feels like a part of his heart is broken and he becomes absolutely crazy and can go to the very extreme: killing that person.

•you’re his half, his soulmate, his first love, and in his mind there is only you and always you, he cannot stop thinking about you and he always have an eye on you.

•has many “friends” from a lot of different groups of people, acts all socialized but for real he just socialize with them to keep an eye on them, making sure they don’t talk about you or begin to have a crush on you.

•there’s no way one day there’s someone else than him in your life, whether it's a guy or a girl, he’ll never accept it: it’s him or no one.

LUCAS:

•before falling in love with you, he was a very sociable person, going out a lot with his friends, but he changed: forgetting his friends, focusing on you, your happiness and your safeness, but also making sure that none of his ex friends ever crushes on you.

•gets mad/on his nerves easily, especially when you talk to your friends (if the person seems to love you,he goes crazy, hitting in the walls before planning how to hurt this guy as much as possible, on the edge of killing).

•buys you gifts like necklaces or things with cams hidden in them: it’s not to hurt you or anything, he just always wanna make sure you’re safe

•if someone he doesn’t know is in your home with you he quickly comes to your house, telling you he just thought about coming to see you when actually he wanna see who is that person that troubles his plans.

SICHENG:

•seems sweet, shy and pacifist when actually he already killed so many people for you, just for you, cause everything he does always relates to you, his whole life turns around your existence.

•people would die to be in your place, having sicheng as such a close friend and almost a lover, but he doesn’t pay them attention, it’s only you in his life and he actually hates so people who wanna be you. you’re unique, you’re his, the only person he'll ever love.

•despite everything, he knows what he is doing. he killed people, hurted some, putted cameras in your house, is following you when he doesn’t know where you’re going and he is fully conscient of it. but he can’t help, he more than loves you, he is crazy and obssessed about you.

•has a little space in his dressing where he putted some objects he stole from you as: a panty, one of your favorite candle, an earring, a toothbrush and many other things.

HENDERY:

•he is kind to everyone and always seems to easily forget people’s mistakes. what they don’t know is that actually his friends are his enemies and everyone who once laid his eyes on you is his enemy, and will get hurt soon or later.

•wants to confess to you but is afraid that if you say no he might go crazy and do things that he’ll regret to you even tho he loves you more than anything.

•"y’know that guy that talked to me once at school? he disappeared, like for real we don’t know where he is! isn’t that weird?” - “ahah yes it’s weird, really weird...” well actually it’s not that weird since he is the one that made that guy disappear.

•buys a lot of gifts but sometimes his gifts are a little bit... unexpected. he saw with the cams in your house or heard that you lost/needed something, he automatically buys it to you. he wants you to be in need of nothing but him, he wants you to crave him.

XIAOJUN:

•he lies a lot, breaks the laws, steals and fights often but all of this in secret, on the outside he is just that cool and cute guy that only minds his business. already killed, will do it again if it’s needed.

•even tho he already killed and hurted people, he’s not really conscient of crazy he is and how bad he acts. and when he egins to realize, he just says to himself that all of this is for you. and if it’s for you, it’s okay and it was a necessity.

•always acts charming, witty and flattery around you. dreams of you (wet dreams), always thinks about you and there’s nothing more important than you. you’re a part of him, you own his heart and his all life depends on you.

•in his mind, you two are already together. he deserves you, and you only deserve him. in his mind, he is the best person you could get along with. you are meant to be together, and if he has to waits years and years for you to realize it, he’ll waits. he’ll always waits for you.

YANGYANG:

•he never ever regrets what he does. he killed, he hurted, he plots to keep you forever by his side and he regrets none of his actions. he did it for you and one day he’s sure you’ll understand it and will thank him.

•his safety and the others safety is the last thing he cares about. he got hurted and other people too, but it’s to protect you. your safety is his priority. and if has to erase every person around you, he’ll do it, he feels like it’s his mission.

•for him, you’re an angel that fell on earth to give him love and hope, to show him what’s real love. his goal is to protect you, making sure you receive enough love from him and he is the only person authorized to receive your love and attention.

•before he acted shy, cute and funny but now he is kinda arrogant, easily and often angry. he became so manipulative, he exactly knows how to get something from someone. it’s like a game for him, and the ending stage is successing at getting your heart.

583 notes · View notes

parkliet · 4 years

Text

Dear anon that called me a coward. I am not, fuck you. //lh

*green was answered by Wei, Red by Harley, Blue by eirynn, Pink by aydi. Sorry if it’s confusing.

1. Is there a boy/girl in my life? There is someone in aydi’s life.

2. Think of the last person that hurt you? Do you forgive them? Yes, I know I actually shouldn’t but I do.

3. What do you think of when you hear the word meow? I’ll meow back because I want too.

4. What’s something you really want right now? A beer and some love 😭

5. Are you afraid of falling in love? Yes, because it involves vulnerability and sappy stuff and I hate that.

6. Do you like the beach? Kinda, it’s not bad.

7. Have you ever slept on a couch with someone? Yes and I hated every minute of it.

8. What’s the background on your cell? The lockscreen below. The Home Screen is none of your business.

9. Name the last 4 beds you sat on? Mine, aydi’s ex’s, xyr brother’s and a friends.

10. Do you like your phone? Well if I say no I sound spoilt but I wouldn’t mind better y’know...

11. Honestly, are things going the way you planned? No, I hate everything and need death :/

12. Who’s the last person you added to your contacts? A friend from school, he found my number and I dunno how.

13. Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler? Rottweiler

14. What hurts more, physical or emotional pain? Depending on what’s going on, currently it’s emotional pain being a bitch.

15. Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum? All I want is a date at an art museum ;-;

16. Are you tired? Absolutely exhausted

17. How long have you known your first contact? Since January 2019

18. Are they a relative? No, school friend.

19. Have you ever considered getting back with an ex? No but *some people* have and I personally find it annoying because the ex is a jerk.

20. When was the last time you talked to the person you shared a kiss with? ...yesterday

21. If you knew you had the right person would you marry them today? I don’t see why not, sure.

22. Would you kiss the person you kissed last again? No, don’t think I would.

23. How many bracelets are you wearing? Currently 2.

24. Is there a certain quote you live by? “No”

25. What’s on your mind? This really big teddy bear i saw in the store, but I couldn’t get it and I’m sad 😢

26. Do you have any tattoos? Can’t get any yet but I really want a few!

27. What’s your favorite color? Pink and green

28. Next time you will kiss someone on the lips? Do you want a date or sumn?

29. Who are you texting? Currently my Classmates

30. Think of the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch? Yes... why are all of these about kissing?

31. Do you ever have a feeling something bad is going to happen and it did? All the time bc nothing good happens

32. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to? Yes, quite a few

33. Do you think anyone has feelings for you? From what I hear recently, I’m gonna say yes.

34. Has anyone told you you have pretty eyes? Yes and it makes me melt each time.

35. Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone else right in front of you? Not my problem, we’re not together so he can kiss who he wants.

36. Were you single last Valentine’s Day? No.

37. Are you friends with the last person you kissed? Yes

38. What do your friends call you? Whatever they want to at the time, I don’t care.

39. Has anyone upset you in the past week? Myself

40. Have you ever cried over a text? I do that a lot.

41. Where’s your last bruise located? My face, under my eye.

42. What is it from? I’d rather not say.

43. Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really badly? All the time when I have to be with people who don’t give me space.

44. Last person you were on the phone with? I don’t make calls so the last person I texted was a friend.

45. Do you have a favorite pair of shoes? Heels/boots make me feel good.

46. Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day? Yea if it’s necessary or it’s a cute hat

47. Would you ever go bald if it was in style? No, I love my hair too much.

48. Do you make supper for your family? No but I can cook if need be

49. Does your bedroom have a door? Yes

50. Top 3 webpages? Tumblr.com, picrew and Pinterest

51. Do you know anyone that hates shopping? My friends like shopping but hate shopping with me bc I wanna go to every shop.

52. Does anything on your body hurt? Everywhere (not even joking) currently it’s my left arm that hurts the most

53. Are goodbyes hard for you? Depends on the person really, if you were a bully or just a bad person I won’t miss you.

54. What’s the last Beverage you spilled on yourself? Coffee

55. How is your hair? Currently curly and not set properly so my bangs look uneven ;-;

56. What do you usually do first in the morning? Lie there for a few minutes, cos I’ll probably still be tired.

57. Do you think 2 people can last forever? Yes, if they are happy with each other.

58. Think back to January 2007, we’re you single? I was 9 months old so yeah...

59. Green or purple grapes? Both suck

60. When’s the next time you will give someone a big hug? As soon as I can without the chance of death.

61. Do you wish you were somewhere else rn? Probably somewhere quiet

62. When will be the next time you text someoone? Later today bc time zones

63. Where will you be 5 hours from now? Still at home, maybe the store idk

64. What were you doing at 8 this morning? Still sleeping

65. This time last year can you remember who you liked? An ex I think, not sure

66. Is there a person in your life that always makes you smile? Yes, the tumblr mutuals

67. Did you kiss or hug anyone today? No

68. What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? “Ow my fucking head” after hitting it while trying to get comfy at 4am

69. Have you ever tried your hardest then get disappointed at the end? Yeah, happens a lot and sucked every time

70. How many windows are open on your computer? I’m on mobile but 16 tabs are open rn.

71. How many fingers do you have? 10

72. What’s your ringtone? Whatever’s the iPhone default

73. How old will you be in 5 months? I don’t know how old I am now but the body will be 15

74. Where’s your mum right now? Lol who?

75. Why aren’t you with the person you first loved or almost loved? If you are talking exes, then it’s because we weren’t happy

76. Have you held hands with someone in the past 3 days? No

77. Are you friends with the same people you were with 2 years ago? Sort of

78. Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7? No

79. Do you know anyone with the name mike? Nope

80. Have you ever fallen asleep in someone’s arms? Yes because I sleep in class a lot and my classmates let me

81. How many people have you like in the past 3 months? Between all of us, 3

82. Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past 3 days? No, or I hope not

83. Will you talk the person you like tonight? Hopefully

84. You’re drunk and yelling at hot people from your car, your with? All my guy friends bc I’m more likely to get drunk with and I’m more comfortable doing weird stuff with them.

85. If your bf/gf was into drugs would you care? I mean I would prefer them to not but honestly it’s their life in the end. I would try to help but if I can’t stop it it’s not my problem, it would also be kinda hypocritical of me

86. What was the most eventful thing that happened when you went to see a movie? Can’t remember

87. Who was your last received call from? A missed call from my friend, I texted her back tho

88. If someone gave you $1000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you? ...yeah

89. What is something you wish you had more of? Love

90. Have you ever trusted someone too much? Sadly yes

91. Do you sleep with your window open? No

92. Do you get along with girls? Yes, if they’re nice

93. Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? I’m not exactly sure if they need to know

94. Does sex mean love? Absolutely NOT, lol just bc someone is horny and wants to sleep with you, doesn’t mean they love you

95. You’re locked in the room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem? Not really

96. Have you ever kissed someone with a lip ring? No but I did kiss a guy with a tongue stud...

97. did you sleep alone this week? All except one day, or was that last week...

98.do you have someone who makes you happy?Yea I guess

99. Do you believe in love at first sight? No, not really actually

100. Who was the last person you pinky promised? A friend

#this too a long time 😭 but am no coward

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

Text

Jac & Amelia

Jac: Are you okay? My parents would've paid for a cab if they weren't sober enough to drive you back Amelia: My dad was [somewhere nearby cos JJ live in town] Jac: Oh, right Jac: you seized your opportunity then, alright Jac: Is still should've gone with to make sure Amelia: I didn't want her to, she was in too excitable a mood Jac: lol, can't really fault you that Jac: you got a headache, yeah? Amelia: I got the aura so I knew it was time to leave, last time I ignored that I was sick everywhere Jac: That's fair Jac: you do not want that unless you've had a really wild night Amelia: sorry I didn't say bye Jac: well that's okay, if you didn't have time Jac: we were just worried Amelia: is Is okay? I was probably a bit rude to her Jac: Don't worry, she seems fine Jac: you know her Amelia: yeah Amelia: alright cool Jac: make sure you stay hydrated, yeah Jac: and no more screentime Amelia: I'll 😴 it off if I can Jac: Sounds like a plan 🙂 Amelia: it sounds 😕 but I couldn't stay Jac: you can't help that you get migraines Jac: it must be so crap for you Amelia: we've all got crap to deal with Amelia: I wouldn't swap Sav for hers Jac: 😢 I know Jac: she deals so well, considering how fresh it all is Amelia: Where's her boyfriend at? It's not technically a night you can get away with chucking fireworks at your mates or cars Jac: Out on the lash with his mates Jac: or something Amelia: very supportive Jac: yeah, I know Jac: oh well, she had us Amelia: you, you mean Jac: are you not her friend too? Amelia: that's up for debate, but she'd win it over me Amelia: so it probably depends what she wants the answer to be Amelia: and who's asking Jac: She definitely views you as a friend Amelia: okay Jac: No, come on, you don't think she does? Amelia: I know she doesn't Jac: Why do you think that? Amelia: I know it because she's said a handful of words to me lately & all of them are in some way bitchy or patronising Jac: How many have you said to her? Jac: and how nice have you been to her? Amelia: I don't like her, I'm not going to act like I do Jac: Then the issue is a you thing, isn't it Jac: Savannah does like you, and it's not really on to say you know otherwise, simply because that's how you feel about her Amelia: no, it's a me and her clash Amelia: it isn't one-sided Jac: Okay, if you say so Jac: but I don't see her trying to start anything with you, and like I said, I've told you she's told me privately that she likes you Jac: she knows you aren't her biggest fan though Amelia: she would say that to you Jac: Now you're being ridiculous Amelia: no I'm not, she wants me to look like I'm the dickhead and it's clearly working Jac: well no, what she wants is friends who can support her through this tough time and not make her life any more shit Jac: I really do not think she has the time, never mind the desire, to play games to make you look like some kind of villain ??? Jac: we seriously do not need to be that dramatic about things Amelia: fine Jac: it clearly isn't but I'm not going to agree with you Jac: you're not feeling well right now, you're just lashing out Amelia: you sound as patronising as her now Jac: for giving you an excuse for your behaviour? Jac: it's being gracious Amelia: I don't need to be fucking excused Amelia: I haven't done anything wrong Jac: You're being rude to Savannah and now you're being rude to me Jac: you're attacking and saying you're being attacked Jac: just calm down and we can come back to this when you aren't in such a state Amelia: yeah because she's the only one whose dramatics you indulge Amelia: I haven't been rude to her, I've made an effort Amelia: it doesn't change my opinion Jac: You're accusing her of having some plot right now, also of not liking you, being bitchy and patronising...yeah, that's rude, Amelia Jac: and oddly enough, when she went off crying, it was not about you Jac: call it dramatics if you want, but I'd say her home life situation warrants more empathy and listening to than whatever this idea, about us being against you or something, that you've concocted does Amelia: I'm not on her radar when she isn't subtly slagging me off or wishing I'd fuck off, obviously it wasn't about me Amelia: the latter is way less subtle though Jac: You're right in that I'm not indulging this Jac: you're just wrong, that's it Jac: but if you won't listen to reason, and me, then there's nothing else I can do to change your mind Amelia: you wanting me to be wrong doesn't make me wrong Jac: you having no proof for her dislking you, bar the fact you dislike her, doesn't make it true Jac: if you want to walk around thinking people have a problem with you when they don't, that's your call Jac: it's sad but it's clearly an internal issue Amelia: there's proof in every group chat if you want to go back & read it Jac: the fact you're in a group chat together, to plan to do stuff, to talk, kinda negates that Amelia: no it doesn't Jac: totally, when you hate someone and want them to fuck off, you choose to spend time talking to them when you don't have to Amelia: she doesn't spend any time talking to me Jac: well it isn't a private chat Jac: do you expect her to ignore me and Is? Jac: if you wanna have a 1x1 she'd be more than happy, like Amelia: Oh, she ignores Is plenty Amelia: but that's not my fight to have Jac: 🙄 I can assure you, we understand how DMs work Jac: if we wanted to talk just us, we would, and do Jac: and Is seems fine to me, like I said Amelia: great Jac: 🤷 okay then Amelia: 👋 Jac: I hope you feel better when you wake up Amelia: thanks Jac: Night Amelia: goodnight Jac: [hope you do go to sleep so you don't see those gay ass stories] Amelia: [you know she will because she's not actually sick soz gal] Jac: [i mean, you do have 24 hours so bit of a long shot when you're this in love lol] Amelia: [everyone gonna be seeing it including Ty who has been lowkey ignored all night as well] Amelia: [we should say she writes something but then deletes it so Jac only knows she deleted it for the sheer gay drama of it] Jac: [none of y'all got invites to this sleepover, but yes 1000%] Jac: ? Amelia: 🤨 Jac: butt-dial? Amelia: why would I be sitting on my phone? Amelia: I'm not thrashing about with a 🤒 Jac: I don't know why you'd delete a message either Jac: unless you sent me something really 💦 meant for someone else, in which case I wanna know anyway Amelia: I can nurse myself Amelia: though there are loads of lads who would put me to sleep Jac: 🙀 Amelia! Amelia: no Amelia: 🥱 NOT whatever you're thinking Jac: Sure 😉😂 Amelia: 😣 Jac: So grouchy Jac: I'd know if you were texting someone Amelia: would you? Jac: of course Jac: what secret have you ever kept from me? Amelia: I didn't need to before Jac: you don't need to now Jac: you aren't going to shock me with your thirst Amelia: I'm staying hydrated like you instructed Amelia: there's nothing to tell, which is why I pressed delete Jac: What did you say? Amelia: if I repeat it there was literally no point in deleting it Amelia: so no, nothing Jac: Well why did you? Amelia: because it's 😳 Jac: how 😳 can it be Jac: we've known each other at our most cringe Amelia: that was us both being awkward not just me making a massive tit of myself Jac: rude Jac: you're meant to disagree Amelia: alright, I'll lie Jac: you're already being very sneaky, you may as well Amelia: okay Jac: no, tell me, dickhead! Amelia: rude Jac: you're rude Jac: you know you can't just take back a message Amelia: I have & I win Jac: you can't do it without leaving evidence Jac: and I'm not just going to drop it Amelia: 🙄 Jac: why are you saying shit to my virtual face then Amelia: how else am I supposed to speak to you? Jac: I'm not going to apparate into your room 'cos you fancy having a go Jac: don't be a baby, what did you say Amelia: maybe I was saying sorry but you're so undeserving I took it back Amelia: that'd be fitting Jac: oh right, your whole conspiracy theory Jac: you forgot for a hot sec you believed in that, yeah, sure Amelia: it's typical of you to only give a shit about what I'm trying to say when I'm not saying it anymore Jac: you left without saying anything earlier Jac: then you wouldn't speak to me 'cos you were in a huff but yeah, pop off Amelia: I didn't have time to search your 🏠 for you earlier Jac: and I said it was okay but don't act like I was ignoring you Amelia: you were Amelia: but I get it, Savannah's in greater need Jac: oh my God, do you actually get it though Jac: like could you Jac: because this is really gross Amelia: of course I do, her parents are mental and it's horrible Jac: I mean, nicely put Jac: so you don't need to be snippy with me about needing to spend like 10 minutes alone so she can talk about it without my whole family standing around Amelia: I was the one who told you, ages ago, so you already know what I mean Amelia: and I'm not, I'm explaining why I left without saying anything before you hold it against me any harder Jac: you aren't just explaining though, because that was never the question Jac: you said I was ignoring YOU Jac: I said it was fine you left, you had a migraine Amelia: because it's not just about 10 minutes alone so she can cry on your shoulder and you fucking know it's not Jac: you don't like her Amelia: she takes over everything, including my birthday Jac: She was just trying to make sure you had a nice time Amelia: then why didn't I? Amelia: if she really cares so much about what I want, why wasn't it perfect? Jac: She's not a miracle worker Jac: I'm just saying she tried, can you fault someone for having good intentions? Amelia: she cares about you two having a good time, she doesn't try with me Amelia: because guess what, chucking money at something doesn't actually count Amelia: you used to know that Jac: you can't say how much she does or doesn't try Jac: maybe she's really trying, and I happen to think she is, and I've got it on better authority than you Jac: as you said, it's not as if she's had close friends before really Jac: you could give her a break instead of being ungrateful about it Amelia: you could give me a break Jac: no, you're being mean Jac: and blaming her for problems you're having Jac: like how dare she treat you? Amelia: the problem is that you used to care how I feel about things and apparently now you don't Jac: I can care without indulging pointless bitchery Jac: if you told me what was actually wrong with you, I'd listen, I'd do whatever I could to help, you know that Amelia: no, you're not listening Jac: You aren't saying anything Jac: you keep slagging Savannah off, and I counter that and then you stop Jac: what is actually going on Amelia: I've been saying the same thing this entire time, for fuck's sake Jac: When you wanna say what's actually going on with you, and think about that in a way that doesn't involve Savannah Jac: then I'm here waiting Amelia: I don't want to spend time with her, I want to spend it with you Amelia: Why can't we literally EVER? Why does she have to be involved in literally everything? Jac: We do spend time without her Jac: but we can't exclude her when she wants to be involved, she's our friend Amelia: she's not my friend Amelia: I'm trying, I am Jac: okay, she's my friend though Jac: we can spend time together, alright Amelia: okay Jac: pick a day, pick something to do, let me know Amelia: sure, put me on the spot Jac: 🙄 god, not RIGHT now Jac: but give me something more committal than that 'okay' or it won't happen Amelia: okay!! Amelia: are you happy now? Amelia: I just said how much I miss you Jac: like I'm that desperate for attention, again, rude Amelia: clearly not if I have to be the one begging you for yours Jac: oh hush Jac: I invited you to something like, literally 5 seconds ago Jac: you were the one that ruined it with your 🤕 Amelia: I didn't mean to ruin anything Jac: I'm joking Jac: I'll survive Amelia: I'm serious Amelia: and sorry, obviously Jac: it's fine, actually fine Jac: you shouldn't worry about it Amelia: if you want me to try harder, I'll try harder, alright Jac: I'd appreciate it Jac: I think she would too, and you Jac: getting along would just be easier Jac: you don't have to be like, her own personally cheerleader Amelia: I can't work miracles either Jac: you said you'd try Jac: I don't know why it's so hard for you but I can't really ask more than that Amelia: you really don't get it? Jac: No, I really don't Amelia: okay Jac: I'll leave you to it Amelia: bye again Jac: You have planning to do Amelia: you love a competition Amelia: what happens if I lose? Jac: What competition? Jac: I'm not planning anything Amelia: so it's a test instead Amelia: it's the same question Jac: we can still hang out, as you asked Jac: I'll just be bored if you pick something boring, I suppose Amelia: when have I EVER picked anything boring? Jac: 🤷 Jac: we'll see Amelia: don't 🤷 at me Amelia: you've never been bored Jac: you're so touchy 😂 Jac: I can't do anything Friday, by the way, so don't pick Friday Amelia: do you want to assign me a day? Jac: Probably Sunday Jac: I'm working after school every other day Jac: Saturday is up in the air right now Amelia: alright Jac: free time is just not a thing I have Amelia: I know, I'm not touchy about that bit Jac: I'm not going to sit here and tell you you're not boring, Amelia Jac: what kind of midlife crisis Amelia: Shut up, I don't need that from you Amelia: I'm well aware Jac: 👉😠 Amelia: you don't need to teach me sign language either Jac: you're gonna side with the 12 year old asshole on that, are you Jac: yeah that's about right mentality wise 🙄 Amelia: according to you there aren't any sides, we're all friends and everything is 🌹y Amelia: so no Jac: Jude isn't our friend, she's my sister and she's a little bitch sometimes Amelia: yeah, again, I know Amelia: Savannah's the one who needs family introductions Jac: She knows who everyone is Jac: you're being so whiny, it's just annoying now Amelia: leave me to it then, that's what you said you were going to do Jac: Yeah, and I definitely will now Jac: christ, is it any wonder I'm not electing to spend time with just you Jac: think about it Amelia: It's already all I think about Amelia: I don't want to fight with you Jac: it's not hard, Amelia Jac: as I said, Savannah doesn't devote her time to bitching about you, or anyone else Jac: nor does she walk around with a massive strop on all the time Amelia: I'm sorry Amelia: what do you want me to say? Jac: Just stop acting like this Amelia: I'm not acting like anything, that's the problem Amelia: it's how I feel Jac: You're gonna have to sort it out Jac: it's not healthy for you Jac: or good for us or anyone else Amelia: I said I'll try Jac: you've got to Jac: it's for your own best interest Amelia: yeah Jac: yeah Amelia: 👋

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bekahdoesnerdshit · 4 years

Note

anxiety boredom and mischief for raini, excitement sorrow panic and fright for ayen, impatience confusion disgust for cog!!

Raini

Anxiety: Anxious Raini is an irritated Raini, because like I’ve said before it is So much easier to be angry than to feel any other negative emotion. I also think an anxious Raini is a Raini who’s looking at a problem she can’t directly fix, because otherwise she’s not going to bother getting anxious when she can instead focus on getting results. Anxious Raini is fussing with the tassels on her robe, pacing, tugging at the end of her braid, glaring at people with 80% more heat than normal, just generally a ball of nervous energy. Times Raini has been anxious! Meeting Ecstasy’s parents and figuring out what that means! When we killed the goddess of magic and Raini realized she was suddenly a defenseless sack of hit points! End of list. Boredom: Bored Raini is a Problem. Like, Raini is generally a problem? But bored Raini is a problem (With a capital P and that rhymes with T and that stands for Trouble, I guess?). She gets huffy. Arms crossed, head falling back or to the side to show her Displeasure, rolled eyes, the whole nine yards. Bored because there’s nothing to do? Solution: find something to do! Probably, unfortunately, get off. Because she’s Nasty. Bored because someone is boring her? Make sure they Know that they are Boring, and trust that with enough sighing and raised, unimpressed eyebrows, they’ll fuck off. Mischief: Raini doesn’t get mischievous very often! Which means when she’s in a Mood, it’s an Event. I think there’s a lot of biting the inside of her cheek to hide a grin, a lot of glancing at any co-conspirator she may have, a lot of acting too casual, just to attract a little bit of suspicion and keep things fun. Did she and Yocheved fantasy spray paint a statue to Amaunator last night even though Lent told them not to? Of course not. Did she use a 9th level spell to Polymorph Zize to be about four inches taller, so she would bump her head on things every so often? Preposterous! That certainly doesn’t sound like something Raini would do. You can’t prove shit.

Ayen

Excitement: Excited Ayen is a bouncy Ayen! She’s walking alongside and then in front of whoever she’s with, hands clasped behind her back, ponytail swishing behind her, bouncing on the balls of her feet as she grins and looks back with wide, bright eyes! The world is in front of them! It’s here and it’s alive and their’s to explore! Why waste time dragging your feet? She’s already pretty energetic as is, but when she gets herself worked up like this? It’s best to just let her tire herself out and try to keep up in the meantime. Sorrow: For Ayen, the most concrete experience she has with sorrow is the subtle, aching thing that is her grief for a family she never got to know. It’s not the same as knowing and losing them, of course, but sometimes she feels like she grieves them in the same way. And she’s going to find them! Of course she is! It’s just...it might take a while. And what if she doesn’t? And what if they don’t want her when she does? It isn’t often, but I think Ayen gets wrapped up in that spiral every so often, especially when she’s taking watches alone and just has time to Think. I think her sorrow looks like droopy ears, chin on her knees, eyes cast downward. Managing a small smile for anyone who looks over at her, because that’s what they’re expecting, but letting it slip away again when they turn around. She’s quiet, for a while, until she gathers herself enough to shake off the funk and remind herself who the fuck she is. Panic: While short lived, panic is definitely something Ayen has experienced. See: when she went to fight those spiders in the middle of the night, missed, and then saw like three more pop up. Uh oh! I think there’s a fair amount of wordless yelling (along with swearing, but the question did specify ‘nonverbal’ so), fumbling with whatever she’s holding (a weapon, a glass bottle she wasn’t supposed to touch, etc.), and tripping over herself to put distance between herself and whatever’s scared her. Basically, I think she loses any semblance of grace she may have had, and turns into the living embodiment of “Oh shit FUCK ass BALLS uh shit fuck TITS” Fright: I’m going to differentiate “fright” from “panic” by approaching this one as a longer term sort of thing. I think growing up in the Shadowfell, it takes a lot to rattle Ayen in regards to traditional horror. Like, when you spent most of your life looking out your window to see the sentient shadow goop that makes up your backyard eating unlucky mortal travelers on the reg, anything else is kinda....eh? I think she also suffers from “haha this is an Adventure everything is fun and games!” disease, also called “not having the life experience to realize sometimes things are just actually fucked up and it’s not gonna turn out okay by default”. None of which answers the question, but is still true. I think if something really, deeply scared her, she would just shake. Her hands, her voice, everything. Ears pinned back against her head, eyes wide and darting around for something she can claim as “safe” to recenter herself, slow, careful steps away from the source of her fear as opposed to the scrambling from the previous question. But, of course, I’m sure it won’t ever come to this in game!!

Cog

Impatience: Not a very common Cog mood! She’s no saint, but if anything she’s usually the one slowing people down. And honestly, even if she’s not, she’s not generally in enough of a rush ever that it matters. I can think of a handful of times where she’s been impatient with someone, and both of those times were pretty different. As a rule, though, she defaults to this sort of tight lipped, tense, closed mouth smile, with varying degrees of warmth depending on how Frustrated she is. She crosses her arms, raises her eyebrows, looks between the person she’s waiting on and where they need to go or the door (but in a way she thinks is subtle, and probably isn’t), but generally just. Resigns herself to wait it out until the other person is done rambling or taking their sweet time doing whatever it is they’re doing. The only exception? When the party thought Ace might be double crossing them, and had spent So long dithering about whether to go back to New Alexandria to confront him. Cog had enough; she put her foot down and said she was going with or without the party so that she could prove his innocence. If they wanted to keep her alive, they could come too. Confusion: While the other two may be things that Cog has little to no experience with, she’s got confusion in the bag. Not to flex on anybody? But we’re confused twenty! four! seven!! Absolutely nothing sexier than a woman who’s always just a little bit out of it!!! Confused Cog is smiling politely, but she’s very obviously lost. She’s fidgeting with her hands somewhere low around her stomach, looking up at the people around her and kinda. Half reaching out every so often? Looking for a place to cut in to ask for clarification? Oh you’re still talking? No worries! I’ll wait. :) I hate to be mean to Cog, because I do love her, but also once she’s figured out she’s not getting caught up, it’s just elevator music up there. Someone -probably Wol- will get her caught up later, she’s sure! :)) Disgust: Cog has been outright disgusted once in her LIFE and it was when the party went to meet the Guardians -a group of gods that protect Lafaroh in exchange for occasional offerings- in the swamp outside the town. On their way to the Guardian’s meeting place, the party was attacked by some fucked up, homophobic scorpions which poisoned the Fuck out of Ace. The Guardians could fix him, but they did this by producing this alien? Bug? Thing?? That went inside Ace to clean the poison out. Nasty. Disgusting. Vile I hate it. Cog very nearly threw up I think, and dropped her first (and for a long time, only!) f-bomb of the campaign. It was a eyes wide, face pale, hand pressed to mouth, too horrified to look away kind of disgust. I think it was mostly luck that she didn’t actually throw up, because she has a weak enough stomach (read: low enough con) that it’s probably about 50/50. Similarly, in like the next session, Cog was the one to find the body of the headmaster of the Academy, and all she could manage was to tear her eyes away long enough to nod silently at the party, fighting rising bile the whole time.

#rainivere #amnesia campaign #creepy campaign #ayen morwraek #cog #wasteland campaign #answered #mine #sam says: ayen! lore! now!!!! and he's RIGHT #also? ask me about the homophobic scorpions if you want! it's pretty good Lore #spaghettoland

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hangonimevolving · 6 years

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Attempting some gratitude, for once.

I need to post this, before the thought and the mood from which it’s sprung both dissipate into thin air.

I suck at gratitude, on the whole. Seriously, I do, and I know I need to work on that. I’ll spare everyone my sob stories, explanations, justifications, etc. for why I have had a hard time with gratitude in recent years, but suffice to say - I am aware that I suck at it, and I heard somewhere that the first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one.... so fine. I admit it. I’m ungrateful and unappreciative in my life most days.

But today, I’ve had multiple - MULTIPLE - moments of just feeling this weird, inexplicable, warm and fuzzy, happy, sigh-inducing THING just bubble up in me. And I was like WTF is this feeling?! Why is my tummy all glittery and light? Why am I sitting here on the sofa smiling for no damn reason?! OHHHHH! Wait! Is this.....gratitude?! HOLY SHIT, I think it is! So I’m gonna write it down and note it for all posterity. I, Evolver, have felt gratitude on this 7th day of September, 2018.

It all started last Saturday night, where, right in the middle of Labor Day weekend and my sister Rithers’ visit to our hike in Miami along with her hubby, Uncle K, and her kids H20 and NiNi, our 5.5-year old Vevvy fell ill. We thought that perhaps he was just overly exhausted from a long and happy day in the pool when he felt warm to the touch on Saturday night, but mid-day Sunday, during a beach excursion - Vev’s FAVORITE thing in the world, he completely fell apart, acting listless, fatigued, and not having fun at all. One look at him, standing statuesque on the beach, staring out to sea longingly while tears rolled down his cheeks, said it all: “what is going on?! I’m so confused, mommy! I’m in my favorite place in the world, and yet I feel so miserable! What is happening to me?!” A hand on his forehead revealed that he was burning up. Without a moment’s hesitation, Dr. Spouse loaded him up in the car and headed for home, while I remained at the beach with Dey to host Rithers and co. a while longer. Poor Vev needed a shower, some kiddie Tylenol, and bed rest, stat.

the “I am siiiiick” face :(

Over the next seven - SEVEN! - days, Vev would continue to have relentless fevers or 101-103F even with continuous children’s Tylenol and Motrin. He also developed monster congestion in his sinuses and nose, headaches, body ache, and general fatigue. I was sincerely shocked and more than a little intimidated by his congestion snot (keeping it real), which was so thick and oppressive, it would choke his throat and inhibit his from breathing if he dared to rest in even a semi-reclining position.

The poor kid had no choice but to be completely upright if he didn’t want to gag on his own phlegm, which meant that he (and by transitive property, I) could really sleep no more than 90 minutes at a stretch for four nights straight. He was miserable, and I was doing everything I could to help him, staying with him each night either on an air mattress in my bedroom, or just holding him against my shoulder/chest in my bed while he desperately tried to sleep and breathe at the same time. I felt awful for him, and mused for a moment about parents whose children have respiratory disorders like CF who live their lives this way.... good health is such a blessing that we all take for granted.

As much as I hated every minute of Vev’s suffering, there was something a bit nostalgic in holding him sleeping in my arms for several consecutive nights. Wasn’t there a time in the not-so-distant past where this was the ONLY way he’d sleep?! I bitch and moan all the time about how clingy, dependent, and non-self reliant my kids are — but it has been years since Vev needed me at night this way. My Vevvy has grown up a lot.

And to his credit, despite all this sicky misery, he was really a trooper while ill. Against his traditional character, when sick or not, he really didn’t complain much - just went quiet and kept to himself for days, forming a little nest on the sofa each day with a warm blankie, big box of Kleenex, and his iPad, not really asking for much at all except quiet and rest. He never really complained when I had to give him medication, and he did his best to heed my urges to drink clear fluids even when I could tell he really didn’t want to. And - forgive the TMI here - but you know your kid is really growing up when they begin to have some way of forewarning you and/or running to the bathroom on their own steam and hitting the preferred target of the toilet when they’ve gotta vomit. Fortunately, Vev only puked twice this week, and I suspect that too was only bc he gagged on his own copious snot — but both times, he announced “throwwww uuuup!” to me before sprinting to the loo and handling affairs with no mess and accurate aim. HALLELUJAH! This should be considered a major developmental milestone!!! (And yes - poor, poor kid! I really am glad it was only the twice, because that must have sucked a lot for him!)

Yeah, so. He’s growing up. Way to go, buddy!!!... and, sniff.

(supposedly this says “Mommy I love you ”... but he always starts writing at the bottom of a page and works his way up. He may also be of the mind that “Mommy” is spelled “mom-E.” Yes, we’re gonna work on it)

It was only yesterday, Thursday, that we got an official pediatrician diagnosis of his illness: the flu, as in the legit flu virus, or Influenza A. The word came too late for antiviral medications to be of any great use to him, unfortunately, but I was grateful anyway that we got a halfway-decent pediatrician BRILLIANT nurse practitioner who needed my assertive request demand for a prophylactic prescription or Tamiflu for Dey. We’ve had shitty luck in South Florida with pediatricians who appear to be reactionary and unnecessarily nonsensical in their responses to my requests for help - but this time, our pedi NP was A+. She treated our family like competent, educated people and did things that made sense as far as ensuring this highly-contagious virus wouldn’t spread to another healthy child living in the same household. I wish she could be our regular PCP (but of course, I bet she can’t be, bc she’s not a doctor. Grr, fucking managed care. Oops, hold it - I’m supposed to be channeling gratitude here, not my customary bitchiness. My bad.)

Anyway, speaking of Dey, I’ve got to brag about him a bit here too. At 3.5 years old, Dey’s baseline is definitely chill, go-with-the-flow, glass-half-full, and a pleasant, happy and easygoing “whatever you want, dude!”-ness that Vev NEVER was at that age. It’s been really awesome to see. But this week, his general outlook on life, combined with impressive moments of being a team player, cooperating, helping out, and exhibiting formidable empathy really made me sooo proud.

It’s certainly understandable that he’d be potentially jealous that his older brother got to skip an entire week of school while he still had to go. It would be even more understandable since they are actual CLASSMATES at school this year (yes, our Montessori school groups ages 4-6/preschool, pre-K and kindergarten in one classroom, so they’ve been together at school and at home since the start of the academic year). So I was very impressed when Dey accepted his brother’s illness and his need to stay home from school, while he was forced to go. Without one word of complaint, he’d get up each morning, eat his breakfast, get washed up and dressed out in uniform, gather his things, then visit Vev quickly and dispense a goodbye hug and a “hope you feel better, Vev!” before loading up in the car for school drop-off. What a trooper. At afternoon pick-up, when I’d ask about his day at school, he’d say with a little frown, “oh, school was okay...but Vev wasn’t on the playground.” It was kinda weird feeling my heart simultaneously break a little, but also burst with pride at how much he loves his brother. Sweet kiddo.

At home, each afternoon he’d run excitedly to Vev to see how he was doing, his face full of hopeful anticipation that perhaps today, Vev was feeling better and could play with him... but when he’d find Vev too miserable and tired to play, his face would momentarily fall in disappointment, but then he would muster some compassion and understanding, silently shuffle away, and find a quiet game to do in the vicinity, just so he could be nearby without disturbing Vev. Or, cuter still, he’d snuggle down on the opposite side of the couch as Vev, and tune his iPad into the same YouTube video Vev would be watching, so they could give each other silly smiles and glances during the funny parts. The boy would periodically race off in the house to find his toy doctor kit, and would affix his little plastic stethoscope to his ears so he could “give Vev a checkup” and “make him feel better.”

(Dr. Cutie Pie is in)

It was adorable, man. His whole world spins because of his brother. It’s so touching. I don’t know how it is that I managed to have two kids who love each other so much, because karmically I’ve done NOTHING to earn this. My sister and I were rotten to each other as kids, and only really turned a corner on it in our... what, our late 30′s?! Haha :) But I’m so grateful for these two dudes. These two little people are the best of friends, and they can’t live without each other. The feels.

One more funny brag about Dey. Dr. Spouse and I often jokingly refer to him as Dory, i.e. the lovable blue fish, voiced by Ellen DeGeneres from the Disney movie “Finding Nemo.” Dory’s schtick is that she’s easily distracted and has short-term memory.

Fittingly, Dory is one of Dey’s favorite cartoon characters, and he’s not shy to let the world know....

youtube

Anyway. Remember that whole prophylactic script for Tamiflu? Mind you, I was so grateful to get it. But. Ummmm, pediatric Tamiflu tastes FOUL. It is seriously the most bitter, disgusting, viscous goo I’ve ever gingerly licked to mentally prepare myself for my kid’s reaction to. I began fearing Dey’s reaction, and the ensuing tantrums to come over the five-day course of the drug. But I spoke matter-of-fairly to Dey about how this was a medicine he’d need to take to keep himself healthy, and that it would be a little bit yucky, but that I’d give him a HUGE spoonful of sugar right after to make it taste better (and THANK YOU, blessed Mary Poppins, for your genius).

Luckily, little Dory just took my words at face value without any further thought, opened his mouth, and downed the nasty shot of devil’s semen Tamiflu that I dispensed into his mouth. Immediately his face went every shade of red, purple, and white, with a coordinating expression like “what the hell is this shit?!” — but I swooped in there prepared, like a crack-smoking Mother of Batman, giving him a swig of water then heaping a MASSIVE spoon of white sugar directly onto his tongue. The result was nothing short of magical - the kid instantaneously closed his eyes in pleasure, turned up his cute little round cheeks to the ceiling with a huge smile on his face, and loudly cooed “Mmmm!” as if it was the best damn thing he’d ever eaten in his life. Moments later, the sugar fully dissolved, Dey matter-of-fairly reminisced with a RainMan-esque tone, “hey mommy, that medicine was kind of yucky for me. Kind of salty. Kind of spicy. But the SUGAR WAS YUUUUUUMMMMMY!” I worried that at the next dosing (and man, the kid’s gotta take it morning and night, poor little dude) he’d run screaming from the salty spicy medicine, and wouldn’t fall for the sugar trick — but amazingly, when I announced “medicine and sugar time,” the child came RUNNING to me with a huge grin on his face like he’d just won the lottery. He gulped down the medicine like a champ, swigged the water himself, then began changing “Su-gar! Su-gar! Su-gar!” till I ladled a bit into his mouth. Naturally, my mind spun forward a bit, concerned that his ease of overcoming the Yucky Taste Barrier and downing this stuff for a cheap reward might translate into some unsavory teenage and young adult behaviors (err, tequila shot champion in the making?! Please god, help us). But, for now - eternally grateful for my little Dory’s easy distractability and forgiving memory!!! Vev, at that age and even now, would have NEVER gone along with this!

(is it just me, or do they even kinda sorta look alike, Dory and Dey? No one else sees it?! No one?!!! Hmm...)

Anyway. In conclusion, it’s not normal for me to have something kind of bad happen, like the flu hitting one of my kids, but finding some good in the mess. But here I am, in spite of myself, awash in all the warm fuzzies.

1. I’ve got two healthy, happy kids, when many people have children with serious health issues and have to live their lives watching their kids sick and miserable all the time

2. my kids are growing up, becoming wonderfully independent, self-reliant, empathetic and helpful. But they still sometimes need me, and that’s nice too.

3. They both have such fun, distinct personalities.

4. I admit that it’s pretty awesome that my second kid is so chill. Love them both to bits, but if kid #2 has been more ornery and neurotic, I think that would have sucked. Having a chill kid #2 is a godsend.

5. They frigging LOVE EACH OTHER. It’s a goddamn brotherly love fest up in here.

6. Last but not least - the flu sucks, but it isn’t forever, and life will go on. Soon, in fact. And we’ll be onto the next adventure together. Look forward to seeing what it’ll be!

#Vev #Dey #parenthood #influenza #flu #brotherlylove

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ilegnangeli · 3 years

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Random May Thought #3

The monsoon season is almost upon us. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready for rain. I was born in September. I’m used to the monsoon season breaking my heart because it’s almost always raining on my birthday but I never get used to it, I don’t love it.

I am sat right in front of our window as I stare at the cloudy grey skies. Our family’s group chat is full of pictures of the skies and I kinda actually don’t miss the cerulean skies right now—specifically because I’ve been praying for rain for some time now. It’s just so hot in the Philippines. I guess everywhere else in the world, too. At least in the northern hemisphere. It must be nice to be somewhere in the southern hemisphere right now. I know these are conflicting statements BUT I would love it if it rained right now. But I don’t like the rain, okay? Lol

Anyway, this week was full of surprises. I got transferred to a different section. Praise God! Fr, I’ve been praying for this to happen and now that it’s finally happened, I have no words but THANK YOU, GOD!

I feel like I’m going to miss the Board members. I’ll miss asking them for their meals. I’ll miss joking around with them. I mean I’ve only worked with them for a couple of months but it felt like we’ve known each other longer than that. It was a privilege serving you, honorable members of the Board for recruitment and promotion. But here’s me, officially signing off.

There’s a bittersweetness to it. I loved being with the people in the recruitment and promotion section of our organization but God, I just wanted out. And you made a way. Thank you, Father. My heart will never be at peace if I stayed there longer. I would have eventually broken down (again and again) and never recuperated. It was just that bad. It was really dark for me to be in that place. It was just heartbreaking. I wasn’t growing. I was just THERE.

Plus, it felt like I won’t be able to improve things in the system because it isn’t up to me and I don’t want to be impeded like that. I don’t want to stay blinded by practices that go against my principles. I don’t want to keep on pleasing people. It’s tiring. And I’m knocked out. Totally.

I do pray for the people who need to remain in that darkness. And those who have newly joined and rejoined the team. My goodness. I pray that they keep their principles in tact. I pray that they don’t feel gaslighted like I did. I pray that God sustains them. I had to tap out because I couldn’t take the abuse any longer. I even cried in front of the Board members because of how heavy it felt to be in that section. Dear LORD, thank you for coming to my rescue.

Everything’s new to me in the section I was recently assigned to. I have never been assigned in the records section before. But what’s nice about it is that I’m already familiar with some of the things that I’ll be “chief” of from now on. I actually hate being called “chief” of anything because I’ve never been a chief of a section before. Lmao. There was an order from last year that made me “acting” chief of a section but lmao, I never felt like I was the chief because there was someone else who kept on “taking” the role so I never really “got the hang of it” nor did I get to “embrace” it. Because I might take the spotlight away from that person. And I don’t play dirty like that. I actually never knew my place there. In fact, I even wondered myself which “section” was I “acting chief” of since I never really got to call the shots. There was someone always in the way. I sighed, my goodness. I was even often told I was already “receiving so much help” that I wasn’t even “performing” well enough because I might be “getting overwhelmed” of so many tasks.

I’ve never felt so manipulated.

Truth be told, I was truly bombarded by tasks without proper timelines nor prioritization. The decision makers were indecisive and I was being blamed for their incompetence. Their lack of direction. Their lack of accountability. Their lack of responsibility. And I also began questioning myself if I was underperforming. Was I? Was I unprofessional? I started blaming myself for not being ENOUGH for them. I was losing myself. It was a dark tunnel I journeyed the past few weeks, if not months. I hope when these people get a chance to read this, I hope you understand how it felt like for me to be there. I was as confused as you were. At least have some empathy for your co-workers. Your co-workers aren’t robots. If that was how your previous bosses treated you (like shit), please don’t do that to us. We’re not being snowflakes, we’re ACTUAL human beings with feelings, if you know what I mean. Just like you?

The lack of proper communication and the amount of talking behind other people's backs and the amount of misunderstandings. The worst. I don't want to be in that place. EVER AGAIN.

This is why I always pray that I get mentors who have the same ideals or principles as I do. But it's so hard to find those kind of people.

However, I’m just glad I’m out of that tunnel now. I get to breathe again.

On another topic, our air-conditioner broke. It’s eight years old so it’s understandable. But I kinda feel sad that electronic appliances’ life spans are so short nowadays. Our aunt’s air-conditioner from MY CHILDHOOD still lives. They even got to bring it to their new house lmao. Meanwhile this air-con from only eight years back has given up on us. Anyway, my sister and I are getting a new one tomorrow. So I pray it rains tonight so I won’t have to endure this midsummer night’s heat.

So I printed my manuscript and have been editing some of my poems for binding. I’m thinking of giving this away as a gift to my friends for my 30th birthday or for Christmas this year, idk. I’m still thinking about it. IF I COULD AFFORD PUBLISHING IT. Lmao. But I’ll pray about it. I found an independent book publisher but I haven’t had the courage to inquire about their service fees. I’m afraid I can’t afford it. BUT GOD WILL PROVIDE lol. I’ll just be faithfully saving up for my book’s publication.

We did a general cleaning inside the house today. And I found so many boxes of the many things I bought from January 2020 up to present. When I think about it, I could have saved so much money right now. If I only had been patient enough. But dang, I wouldn’t be typing on this laptop right now if I didn’t dare purchase one lol.

The pandemic has ruined my timeline for EVERYTHING I had planned after returning from China. I planned that after two years, I would leave the organization. I would be teaching in Japan. And I would live on my own. But COVID-19 had to happen. I have postponed my graduate studies. I haven’t thought about leaving the country. And I am still dependently living with my sister and/or sometimes my parents lmao. I’m sorry. I WANT TO LIVE INDEPENDENTLY BUT THINGS ARE HARD RIGHT NOW. And also I really hoped and prayed for autumn, winter, and spring. But you can’t have everything.

LMAO, I was just having this conversation with my sister, like right now. She told me that she was going to check if she’s won the lottery, I told her that if she won, we should resign immediately and I would just leech off from her. And SHE SAID YES! Whoa! That’s UNCONDITIONAL LOVE right there. Lolol

Oh I just wanted to share another story because this was a conversation I really liked about this week, too. My lovely co-worker and I had a chat about her plans of getting married. This biatch, let’s just say that she is my biatch, we are each other’s bitches. Whatever. We’re friends, I get to call her that and she’s also welcome to call me her bitch. Capisce? Comprende? Alright, on with this story:

She told me that she and her boyfriend have spoken about settling down. CUTE RIGHT? But they’ve been talking about whether having a kid first or getting a house first. So she’s thinking about saving up for a house or applying for a loan so they could get a house and start saving for their wedding.

Ah, it’s cute, isn’t it? How like just six months ago, THIS BITCH TOLD ME SHE IS DONE DATING AND WILL JUST PROBABLY DIE ALONE, LIKE ME! AND NOW THIS BITCH IS ALREADY PLANNING A FUTURE WITH SOMEONE—HER BOYFRIEND! Okay, I’m not even angry or disappointed but it’s just somehow ridiculous and surprising at the same time. They say that when the right one comes, you’ll know. But man, I feel like THE RIGHT ONE for me got hit by a bus or something. WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU? Lmao

To be honest, I don’t feel like in a hurry dating or marrying. Even though the rest of the world feels like I’m running out of time. I don’t live by the world’s standards—at least not anymore. Even though I often hear these resounding statements: “You’re just saying that,” “You’ll change your mind about it,” “You should explore because you’re at your prime,” and “You need a boyfriend.” I don’t feel pressured. Though I’ve been thinking about it a lot recently because these people keep putting these thoughts in my head LMAO. Should I be grateful though? Thank you?

But I have people surrounding me who pray for me and for my future partner or spouse or whatever the hell he will be (but I hope he’s in human form, okay?). Because for now, I know it’s insane and a pity (for you guys, but not me), I just enjoy watching other people’s blooming love lives. And I get happy and excited for them, like no other. I feel genuine happiness for people who are settling down right now, getting engaged right now, and falling in love right now. Because it’s their time. Not mine. So I will stay and I will wait. Because until I meet THE ONE, I can’t mess up fate. So I don’t mind, if you come into my life late.

P.S. Whoever you are, wherever you are, I’m excited to spend the rest of my life with you.

P.P.S. I’m already feeling the heat and it sucks we can’t turn on our air-conditioner. Imma cry.

#About God's Chaser #random thoughts #May 22nd #2021 #Yay it's drizzling

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rpedia · 7 years

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[Ask RPedia] Getting Together: How To Meet Your Characters!

Anonymous asked: Alright, I've been reading your stuff and it's all really helpful and you're awesome- I've gotta ask this though. How do I get two characters to meet and a story going? I can't seem to come up with good reasons for people to interact with my character and it's really frustrating. I've made starters, but I always end up stressing over not being able to come up with a plot good enough to keep anyone's interest for very long and never send them. Any tips or anything would be great!

Sounds like you’ve got some issues beyond the original question, which means you want to meet characters and keep them interested in each other, I’ll deal with that too, but first! Let’s discuss how to get characters to meet up, in situations ranging from ‘we work together’ to ‘we don’t even exist in the same universe canonically.’

So. There’s a bit of a spectrum here in terms of how problematic it’s going to be to even set up a scenario in which two characters might meet, let alone the chemistry of that meeting and how to keep it going. So we’ll try to consider some broad strokes here, remember that these get ‘harder’ so you can use anything from any section for the others, they’re just focused on the easiest way to do it each time. So you can make it harder for yourself if it’s... actually easier. I don’t mind. Use as tools, not as rules.

So what if they already know each other? If they’re people who are from the same canon, and may know each other things are a hell of a lot easier. You’ve already got a library of scenes and situations they regularly find themselves in, together, or have the possibility of finding themselves together in. Is there an elevator? A pool? A regular event? Something hinted at, or rooms, or anything really that has a chance to have them both in the same place at the same time? Look! They have a reason to meet up. You’re golden.

Do they not inhabit the same area really, but know each other a little bit? Well, you have a more limited, set of preconceived settings. You don’t know anywhere they both frequent, but that means you can make one up. Look at people they have in common, or situations they may be attracted to but haven’t been show in. Things that are logical, just... improbable.

Have they never met at all, yet have a reason to meet up? This one’s easy, spot their commonalities. What do they have in common? Do they both love hot dogs? They can meet at a hot dog cart. Do they both fight? Make a fighting tournament. Whatever they both like, or dislike, they can find a point in this universe where that would push them together. If not, there’s always the next option up.

Have they never met and have no reason to meet? This seems harder, but hell it’s just a matter of situations converging instead of people. A series of convenient plots. Some kid’s mom hasn’t picked them up from school. They meet an aliens from another planet whose navigation system got bumped by their co-pilot, they land on Earth, and while there realize they need to pick something up anyways. They walk across town, and bump into the kid. They’ve met. Kid shows interest in the alien being awkward. Takes an active approach to bothering them, and follows them. Tada! If it can work for boring school kid and an alien from another galaxy, something similar that’s just a bunch of excuses to get them in the same place.

Are they actually in different universes, so you have to break something to force a meeting against all laws of physics and man? Now this one is fucking fun. Because you literally get to BREAK THE UNIVERSE. This tends to be deliberate as fuck, so you might have a third party or force elaborately pushing these things to happen, or having them happen as a side effect to some major event somewhere in the universe. Or a minor one that causes major side effects. Look, something happened, and now a portal opened. You go through it, or your universes merge seamlessly, or you wake up in a city you don’t recognize and there they are. Surprise and fear and loss and hell the universes splitting in two during science and magical bullshit that defies physics is well and enough reason to latch onto the first relatively friendly or manageable person you see.

Now that they’ve finally met up, somehow, someway, they have to interact and stay interested in each other. This comes down to a lot of factors, including chemistry between the characters, and chemistry between the writers. You’re gonna need to step your game up, make shit up! Make the world come to life, give them reasons to interact. One of your characters has to be an active participant, curious about the other. They have to lead the story. They need to pester them, while the other character needs to do something else so that the first character has a goal to ‘understand’ them. Let secrets out slowly, and make sure you drop shit that makes no sense. They need to have more questions to follow up on them.

This can be as simple as giving a weird name, and having the character wanna know why they’re weird. Or your character could say something additional. “This is my name. Now scat kid, I need to ___.” Then the kid asks about the blank, and yadda. It all depends on temperaments too. Two nice character, a mean one, rebellious, a kid, an old fart who is so tired of this shit? They’re all gonna react differently as fuck to each other. So react! React big! Ask questions about them, show curiosity, share your character’s life in pieces to force them to ask questions back. Engage in curiosity, and drag them into hell with you by feeding theirs. Once you’ve met up, you need reasons to keep talking. Choose activities to do together as background noise or a sub goal while you really tie them up in each other’s lives. Force the setting to force them both to stick together. Kid doesn’t know how to get home anyways, so the alien, who forgets where they were, has to take them with them INTO SPAAAACE, or fucking whatever. Whatever makes sense.

I have a arguably terrible habit of always going for the same basic things. Sleep, eat, play, work. I love dragging characters to go get food in town, or go hunting, or cook in the kitchen. I like to be tired, and get weirdly existential, and fight to go to bed, or find somewhere comfortable, or curl up near people and just talk. I like to go do things, like see the sights, go to carnivals, events, mess around with things we’re given in canon (or have devised as canon) in such a way as to be inclusive to my partners, or just play tag or wrestle. Sometimes, I even work, a character might have to drag a tagalong to work, and they can function together finding out they work better as a team than solo. They can fight, teach, explore, whatever comes with the job with tons more fun than they can alone. Even if they just tell stories while they go out delivering packages, and laugh it up.

Try to keep a real basis of interaction underlying everything. Nothing is perfect, I’m sure you’ve talked to people and had arguments in your life. Not everyone agrees, and a heated conversation can get you guys bonded together once you come out the other side. Embarrassments, misconceptions, errors, just plain disagreements? They are, surprisingly, fantastic ways to keep a story going. If everything is just yes sir, no sir, three bags full sir... well. If you’ve been around this blog long enough you can say this with me: Crisis is Necessary. Keep things interesting by keeping goals and problems arising that you need to fix. A happy comfortable character has no motivation to change what they are doing, and therefore you write yourself into a rut and everyone gets bored.

See: cuddling for 8 hours, walking for an entire RP without talking, falling asleep and expecting your partner to respond to your sleeping posts, kissing constantly, or just being quiet together and ignoring each other. You’re better than that. Show it. Do things you haven’t before, break your rituals, change little things, or make big things happen. It doesn’t have to come from internal actions, like what your characters want either. External forces can shift the whole story. Daily coffee? They were closed for repairs. Elevator broke, you’re trapped together. Someone died, and you need to get out your emotions. They didn’t have your fucking brand. Oh, a war is going on. Look aliens invading. Jesus Christ I got a letter to Hogwarts.

Anything is better than the daily grind. It can be hard coming up with stuff because you get iffy about whether your partner will like it, or if you will. You worry yourself out of it, or maybe you’re burned out and have no idea where to go next. Just kinda... roll the dice on it. Open a dictionary website and find a random word, and go off that. Read a news report and let it fuel your imagination. Skim fanfics, and go write your own ending and concept or, how you’d do it better. Take your favorite appealing things and apply them to your character’s stories. You love pears? Your character hates them? Have them mistakenly eat a pear, and react to it. Let them call someone to talk about it and complain. Anything can be a story idea. Every little happening, magnified, and plastered into a bigger wider version cut and clipped to fit your character.

Now why would people lose interest in a storyline? Some of the common issues are, the story isn’t moving fast enough, the characters aren’t being empathetic, your partner is stonewalling you by not reacting or acting enough, your partner is giving you minced replies with no content to reply to, or you don’t feel the chemistry and you can’t summon the willpower to enjoy yourself. It’s okay if you just don’t mesh. It’s not the end of the world. If you don’t mesh many many times over, you may want to examine your approach.

Do you regularly offer information that continues the storyline, or do you tend to use precise replies? Precision is great for school work and official documents, it’s shit for creativity. Give more than you get. Do you tend to try and avoid things partners are nudging towards you without giving other options? That’s stonewalling, it stops the flow of information, and therefore the creativity and story. Do you tend to rehash the same things over and over again? That can lead to burn out and boredom and players will wander off. Some folks just can’t keep their focus on slow replies too, so you might ask yourself if you’d do better in a faster chat, or a slow journaling platform that may take a week to reply.

You need to stand up, push for story, and keep things moving. But at the same time... stories end. And continuing the same scene day in and day out is not a good bet. I personally play in an episodic style. I do a scene, then we cut out for the day (sometimes over the course of two days) and timeskip to the next “fun” part. You don’t need to play out all the boring inbetweens, you’re a writer. Writers don’t explain how someone takes a shit unless it’s important to the story, that’s why it seems like no one ever goes to the bathroom in novels unless they find something important there.

Feel free to do Episodic play, each day is a new scene, or every time you complete a scene jump ahead. You might run out of steam over time anyways. Most of my longer roleplays last a couple years max before they move on. My shorter ones last one session in public and then we never really get into it again. Roleplay is a fluid creature, don’t blame yourself if it stops occasionally. Sometimes it’s just not the right time for it. If someone complains, or you regularly lose RP for no reason... there’s a reason. Look at yourself and figure it out, don’t just whine, ‘people never RP with me, they just quit or block me for no reason!!!’ because that’s a fucking red flag that you do something horrible you don’t even realize, or you have been told and think they’re lying. Hint... they aren’t, and you’ll scare away more players that way.

In any case, action! Reaction! Story! Build more than you expect to get through and they’ll pay attention to the little details as future story hints. If you drop a phrase now, you might not get to it now, but you can bring it up again in a new context when things get slack. Just have fun, and make things as big and vivid and round for the character as possible in order to keep folk around.

Remember, it only has to make sense to you and your partners, everyone else can go fuck themselves. Have fun.

#roleplay #rph #rpc #roleplay help #rp #Ask RPedia #RPedia

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lordzuuko · 7 years

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Can you please do an in-depth description of the Sheith Fam House with screenshots and floorplan? Also, their villa in Japan cos you know that they would have one. Also, what cars would they own? Those rich ass bastards.

YOU ASKED. I WILL DELIVER. I’ve always said that Shiro and Keith’s house is big. Considering Shiro is one of the top neurosurgeons and Keith being a Best Selling Author, let’s say their annual income’s in the 7 digits each. So, their house kinda shows that too in a way.

What you see here is the back of the house because obviously, who even has a pool in front? LMAO I mean, maybe Shiro and Keith would but even they’re not that crazy. Also three floors because who needs two when clearly you can have three? This family can be frugal at times but there are times when they just don’t have any chill.

Let’s take a tour at the Shirogane Residence, so more under the cut.

So let’s try to see more from the outside.

The garage of course. It can house two cars. One for Keith and one for Shiro. I’ll get into their cars later. Because god knows what I need a separate section for that. Because one does not simply just say garage.

Ah yes, the garden Keith mentioned when he was drunk one time. Not much flowers can be seen here but they are THERE. Can you imagine gardener Keith? HAHHAHA because I can. With a straw hat and all that, caring for these little pretty things.

I felt the need to add this because they have a fireplace outside and those stone steps are adorable. Imagine the little kids skipping on them, pretending there was lava.

Another angle. Idk what it’s exactly showing but I’m exactly showing you that whatever that is. Shiro should clean the outside sometime. The leaves aren’t going to disappear themselves, Shirogane!

Onto the first floor.

The front door from the inside. You can see the family has been in Paris because of those hugeass Eiffel tower things. That or Shiro just bought them online and thought it would be fancy to have them by the door to intimidate guests. WHO KNOWS. You never know where this man had been.

The living room in the first floor where they make guests sit and probably admire their house, because let’s be real, if I was in here, I, too, would just sit and admire and probably hope to get adopted by them.

OF COURSE THE FAMILY HAS A WORKOUT ROOM. We can’t call it a gym Keith, it’s too small. Well, make it bigger. We can’t do that! Shiro and Keith don’t come out of the house looking like gods without putting effort.

Shiro’s clinic. Keith hates this place. Well, not really cause sometimes he’s gotta clean this room once in a while. It’s not that big since Shiro can’t exactly operate in here which made Keith question why he even had a clinic in the first place. Shiro can pretty much do the usual check ups or when his patients need to talk to him on a weekend, they can just go to his clinic at home. Also where the kids got their shots and Keith was being such a worry wart Daddy.

The kitchen where they eat normal meals. Look at that red bowl. That screams Sheith, doesn’t it? I thought so, too. And those cook books at the bottom are most likely Shiro’s because he’s training to be like Master Chef Keith. Gotta impress the husband with food.

Ah yes. The place where all the formal monthly dinner happens. It’s the whole lighting that makes it so fancy. A.K.A. The place where Keith and Shiro are being worry wart Daddies when their kids bring their special someones. A.K.A. The place for special evaluation. The place of judgement.

Keith said he was a wine type of guy, obviously so will the husband. They have a wine cellar in the first floor because why not?

The main bathroom in the first floor because they never know what kind of guests they are having. Or how many for that matter. The kids take a bath here in the morning when the other two are occupied.

Now for the second floor.

The stairs.

The living room upstairs where they do their usual movie marathons. Look how comfy that is. Perfect area for cuddling. :D This is also where they play video games. Lance, Pidge and Hunk are banned from playing during the weekdays during school nights, so it’s hidden, but gets taken out on the weekends or Friday nights. Education comes first, to which all the three kids groan at.

The master bedroom. Where the cuddling Sheith happens. Honestly, those glass doors gives their neighbours some free viewing. WHY IS THAT SO UNFAIR. You better have blinds if you’re having your once a year sexy times in there. But that could also be why they go book a hotel room… Hmmm….

Their walk-in closet. One can’t have too many clothes.

The bathtub. Look at those pretentious stones. Can you believe these guys? Glass shower too because obviously when someone’s in the tub, they gotta see the other showering. DISGUSTING MARRIED COUPLE.

Their sink. Where Keith and Shiro shaves and idk brush their teeth and all that. Husbands being cute with their shaving cream all over their faces. Bunch of idiots throwing foams at each other. You better clean your mess afterwards.

The kids’ bathroom. Again with the whole glass shower. This family doesn’t seem to get the whole concept of a shower curtain? But then again with the amount of things in their house, they prolly can’t afford a shower curtain.

Lance’s room when he was a teen because he loved baseball so obviously his room would mirror that and all the blue because it’s his favourite colour. He is the problem child with his middle child syndrome so all the broody atmosphere going on suits for him.

Hunk’s an organize guy. He’s an achiever and loves to read and the one who does his assignment asap. So he’s gotta have his desk near his bed. “10″ was his number in his football team. It’s there to inspire him to study and do better to get that football scholarship in college.

Pidge is just so… unorganized. As long as she can sleep somewhere with her laptop she’s good. Her bookshelf is beside her bed and it extends more to the side so she can just grab whatever book she needs while she’s on her bed—the place where she is seen 5000% of the time if she’s not somewhere else in the house.

They have two guest rooms because you never know who’d come to visit.

Usually it’s Kuro’s room. So he’s next to the kids. So they could annoy him. Shiro made this arrangement because twin brothers need to suffer once in a while.

Third floor.

This guest room is the bigger one, for 3 or more people. IDK MAYBE COUSINS VISITING. But when the whole clan visits, usually the kids would join their daddies in the master bedroom and they offer their rooms for the others if the rooms aren’t enough.

The husbands’ study room. They share it. One of each side so they can flirt and throw papers at each other acting like a bunch of 5 year olds. They had no children for three years after their marriage—someone’s gotta produce some entertainment around here. The one you see is where Keith usually writes. You can’t see Shiro’s side, but it’s there. It’s pretty much identical, Shiro just had more medical books.

The kids’ study room. Look at that. Three chairs specifically just for Hunk, Lance and Pidge. :D Each has their own desk lamps because obviously this family isn’t satisfied with the room’s lighting.

This is a family of readers so they would have a library. It started to be just Keith’s because Shiro would let Keith have his own. :’D And now the place needs more shelves but ain’t nobody got time for that.

Now for the cars.

Keith drives a red Ferrari. It was a gift from Shiro when they were already married because there is no way his husband was driving his red Harley to work everyday. So he gave him a sports car just so Keith could still experience the thrill. Keith didn’t want to drive it first because it was too ostentatious. But he had no choice in the end.

Shiro drives a black Range Rover. It’s also the family car. Because obviously all the kids can fit in here. He’s usually the one to drop the kids to school while Keith drives alone. Or if not, Keith lets one of the kids ride with him. Depends on the situation.

NOW SINCE YOU ASKED FOR THEIR JAPAN HOUSE. I WILL GIVE IT TO YOU REACHAN LMAO

They can’t have a really big house in Japan since they only visit there for a few weeks every year and sometimes they just stay at their main houses of each family.

Also I don’t have a floorplan because I just don’t HAHHAHAA Ok I think I got everything. And that concludes the tour :D

#reachann #ask #sheith #the voltron family #the house #how rich are they? was all marjchan said as i kept uploading photos HAHHAHAHA

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theperfectladiesman · 7 years

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Saiyuki meme part 2

34) What character do you think is least like yourself?

~Probably Ukoku. I’m not a psychopath or sociopath looking to snuff out life and light. And he’s super cunning and manipulative.

35) What is a shipping you’re not on board with? (Be respectful!)

~I pretty much ship nearly everything under the sun for the most part. Or can at least understand or respect a ship. I ship I wouldn’t really be on board with though would be Li Touten x Nataku. Or Dokugakuji’s mom x Doku/Gojyo. Just not my thing.

36 ) Which Saiyuki character do you think could easily adjust to modern times?

~I’d say nearly all the main cast. I think they’ve all been through so much & they’ve learned to get really good with adapting and rolling with the punches. But if I had to narrow it down, perhaps Goku. Followed closely by Gojyo. They seem the most easy going & quickly accepting & adaptable. Likewise, I think Kougaiji would be one of the ones who would struggle the most perhaps.

37) What is your favorite quote?

~There’s A LOT of good ones. Seeing as I have the opposite of a photographic memory... I can’t remember what my fav would be. A really good, memorable one though is where Kou overcame Ukoku’s mind control & gave him the whole speech where he wont be controlled again & his friends helped him to the light. Idk, something to that effect. Maybe I’ll come back to this question later after I find the exact lines.

38) Do you binge read the entire series or read selected chapters?

~Usually when I binge read or binge watch, it’s from start to finish on the entire series. If I just want to research something or remember a specific thing, it’s selected chapters.

39) Are you more a fan of Gensomaden Saiyuki or Saiyuki Reload/Gunlock?

~With the anime, Gensomaden. With the manga, its definitely Reload.

40) Your favorite character became a mythical beast. What would they be?

~This.... is a tough one. If I wanted to take the easy option, I’d say it would be Kougaiji and he’d totally be a dragon. Or if I wanted to be funny, saying Gojyo being a kappa. I could see Hakkai being the male form of a Dryad. But I think my favorite is Sanzo... and the only thing I can think of to liken him to is the Phoenix. Sanzo’s “like the sun” and Phoenix is a sun bird. Phoenix’s rise from the ashes and Sanzo got burned by Kou’s fire and still rose to his feet.

41) If you HAD to choose a character to die, who would it be?

~Well, this doesn’t say -MAIN- character. I wish I could say Ukoku... that would spare everyone so much misery... but I like the psycho bastard. So...Gyokumen Koushu. Then maybe Kou would get his mom back & he could team up with Sanzo!

42) Would you rather: Have all characters die or Have only one survive

~The question is.... would it be like Goku? Have them forget & then be reunited with the reincarnations? On one hand, it would be nice to have one survive to carry on the memory of everyone who died. But....I feel like there’s something incredibly unfair & cruel about having only one survive... so I guess I’d rather them all die.

43) If [character] got into a fight with [character] who would win?

~Lol its hard to do these ones when I’m just answering them myself.

44) What does Gojyo’s marking look like to you?

~I answered this one already, basically, a tribal flame

45) If Sanzo became a demon, what kind of marking do you think he’d have?

~I kinda wanna say something like the youkai Suika. Something small & round on his forehead in place of the chakra. Or it would probably be somewhere more discrete like his back or upper arm, a red color instead of black...idk the shape/design.

46) If [character] died, what do you think they’d be reborn as?

~I think Zakuro would love to be reborn in the golden age (Elizabethanera) cuz that’s when theatre, music, poetry & literature flourished. Perhaps Kougaiji/Hazel in the Victorian age and Ukoku in the Edwardian era... I know that’s not what the questions asking, but it is interesting to think diff era’s you’d put them in.

47) After the journey, what do you think [character] will be doing?

~Hmm... I’ll just stick with Gojyo for this one. Assuming he’s still alive after the journey. I think he’d stick with Hakkai. (grudingly)Helping out around the shop if Hakkai worked/owned a shop. I could see Gojyo maybe being a bar tender or an escort/host... or whatever those equivalents are in the Saiyuki era, or just keeps raking in money with his gambling while being domestic with Hakkai.

48) If [character] had a tumblr, what would they reblog?

~This one’s a fun question. I think if Gojyo had a tumblr, the majority would reflect the 3 things he likes most- women, booze, and smokes. Probably sprinkle in some selfies of himself being all sexy, cheesy pick up lines and puns, maybe some crude jokes, more scantily clad women, and gambling tips. Then there’s probably some stuff he’d reblog for the sake of Sanzo,Hakkai, and Goku if they had tumblr as well. Monkey posts to tease Goku, life hacks for Hakkai, & random stuff that would piss off Sanzo. Probably jokes about cranky old men or something.

49) What is your favorite animated scene?

~umm.... idk... all of Gaiden?

50) [Character]; Boxers, briefs, or commando?

~I feel like Gojyo would have an occasion for all three. Briefs when he’s planning to get with a lady or impress. Boxers when he’s lounging with the boys. And sometimes commando, mainly when sleeping if he has his own room.

51) What 3 or more tropes fits your favorite character?

~ummm.... running gag, ship tease, and funny moments. (gojyo)

52) What are 3 tropes that describe [character]?

~fiery redhead, the alcoholic, and jerk with a heart of gold (gojyo)

53) If Saiyuki got a 4th series, what would it be called?

~Well now that there is a 4th season coming out... Saiyuki Reload Blast XD (now we just need an Ibun OVA!!!)

54) If your favorite character could control an element, what would it be?

~Fav charater’s always been between Sanzo and Kougaiji... though recently I often wonder if it’s not Hazel now. I think Lightning suits Sanzo. Fire for Kou. And Ice for Hazel. Earth for Goku & Hakkai. Wind for Yaone.

55) Was there a character you used to love but no longer do?

~I dont think so actually. I think everyone I love I still do and everyone I hate I still do.

56) What has been the saddest moment for you in the series?

~Yakumo’s death. Yakumo’s whole chapter arc. And the end of Gaiden.

57) What is your favorite anime/manga genre?

~Psychological thriller/horror (but I also like romance & action & drama)

58) Name 5 other characters you like along with your fav Saiyuki character.

~Spike Spiegel, Axel, Seto Kaiba, Zelos Wilder, Alvin Svent, and Snow Villiers

59) Do you prefer subbed or dubbed anime?

~Dubbed. But most of the time subbed is 100 x’s better... obviously.

60) Did you watch the anime first or read the manga?

~Gensomaden anime came first.

61) Do you seek out spoilers or avoid at all cost?

~I avoid them at all cost, most of the time. Unless it’s something I’m not planning to watch or read.

62) Do you write fan fics or draw fan art? If so, link!

~I do, on both accounts. I don’t have any Saiyuki fanfics though. If anyone really want links, I’ll send them privately in IM’s. My Saiyuki fanart can all be found on my blog. Other fan art of diff fandoms is on DA. I only have a couple of completed fanfics on fanfiction.net... most of my work isn’t finished so that’s not really worth linking, I wouldn’t think.

63) What was the most pointless filler in the anime?

~I can’t really think of anything... maybe the sauna one where Goku thinks Sanzo turns into a demon. Or the kitty one. Don’t get me wrong, I loved both those episodes... but in regards to the plot, they don’t contribute a thing.

64) How do you describe Saiyuki to a friend who has never heard of it?

~Four guys travel west to stop the resurrection of a demon lord. Um... there’s lots of humor and action. It’s amazing. It’s.... kinda gay without actually being gay.

65) If you RP what is your favorite thing to Roleplay?

~answered this one~

66) What is your favorite Saiyuki Opening or Ending for the animes?

~The opening for Gaiden is very gorgeous, perhaps that one <3

67) What’s something you think would improve the series?

~HAVING MORE MANGA TRANSLATED AND PUBLISHED HERE IN AMERICA! And bring back some minor characters, that’d be cool to see.

68) Who, in your opinion, has the most tragic backstory?

~Geez... that’s like comparing a life time of stomach issues to someone who has a life time of mental illness... both are equally tragic. If I HAD to pick.... Yakumo.... I’m just gonna go with Yakumo. Technically, it’s not really a backstory but what’s he was presently doing. Having such a kind, soft heart... wanting nothing more but to save, shelter, and raise youkai kids... and choosing to kill them when they go berserk, perhaps with the whole mentality of ‘kill a few to save the whole’. It’s so tragic. Other than that, I can’t choose 1 over the other for tragic back stories cuz everyone has it equally bad in some way.

I guess I can say the tie would be between Gojyo, Sanzo, Hakkai, Goku, Dokugakuji, Hazel, and Nataku.

69) Who would be best at pleasing their lover?

~It kinda depends on what said lover wants most our of their partner and if it’s true love or a fling. If they both knew what they were doing, Goku & Kou would be very thorough, patient, and thoughtful lovers. Gojyo would be best at bringing the skill/pleasure in a pure sexual aspect. Hakkai’s difficult to pin down. He’d be gentle with the same qualities I listed for Gok/Kou.... but he’d have this wall up at the same time. Sanzo... just probably wouldn’t be the best, if he got intimate at all to begin with. Hazel’s so... antagonistic. I’ll just go with Gojyo or Dokugakuji.

70) What do you think Saiyuki would be like if Kougaiji and co were the main protagonists? Do you think you’d still enjoy it?

~A lot less humor and more dark because it would be more from the “villains” POV. Kou’s kinda angsty. I don’t think Saiyuki would be as well recieved and loved from Kougaiji’s & co’s pov... and there’s several characters we might have missed out on.... but I think it’s something I would still really enjoy. If its written by Kazuya Minekura, she’d make it amazing regardless.

71) What minor character had a significant impact on the plot?

~I think that would have to be Hazel Grouse.

72) On a scale from 1 - 10, 1 being not much and 10 being too much, how much does Saiyuki Gaiden hurt you?

~TEN

73) What character is still a mystery to you?

~Perhaps Koumyou or Ukoku (maybe even Yaone in the sense that we kinda know next to nothing about her... that I can recall). But with Koumyou especially, both of them are just so complex & different than I am that they’re difficult for me to understand.

74) What is the funniest moment in the series?

~It really says something about how much a perv I really am if the very first scene that pops into my mind after thinking about what my fav moment could be is.... Gojyo & Goku wrestling & arguing on the bed and that lady walks in & thinks they’re doing, or about to do, something naughty. Oddly, I Really like the scene where Gojyo mimics Sanzo too.

75) Who is your favorite minor character?

~Hazel or Banri or Zenon ...... Yakumo & Zakuro are p great too

76) Which character has had the most growth?

~I think that would have to be Goku

77) Which character needs more development?

~hmmmm........Lirin maybe?

#Saiyuki meme #part 2 #good lord this was long & took forever #but I wanted to do it for myself just for the hell of it & it was fun #when Im up all night with stomach issues & too tired to do anything else this was kinda a blessing

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ilonavic · 8 years

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25 Q/A Personality Tag

A dear friend of mine asked me to do this tag myself after I wrote this a while ago for my lovely friends here on Tumblr, thanks to the post by @annarieta regarding this tag, it gave me a little courage to do it. (I actually think there are many scary questions, I don’t like the idea of revealing it to just about anybody.) RULES: Tag people you want to get to know better.

1. Are you introverted or extroverted? I’m very introverted. I can go weeks on my own, without needing company or social stimulation.

2. Are you ruled by emotions or logic? I reason from a point of logic, but ultimately make decisions based of what I feel will make everyone the happiest.

3. What is your happiest memory? Like many others have said already, which was a bit surprising to read, I don’t recall many outstanding happy memories. Like @annarieta said, it’s the small things mostly. But I remember happy car rides with my best friend where we sang (screamed) to music, and traveling to the Vatican City with my classmates. Even if the company wasn’t necessarily good all the time, that place really made me happy. It was so beautiful.

4. What is your saddest memory? Nowadays, every winter, I go into a state of hibernation really. It’s very dark here during the winter, we have about 5 hours of sunlight everyday. It’s cold, it’s dark and murky. It makes me very depressed. But um. The day I lost my best friend is a terrible memory. We were friends for 8 years and I’ve missed her very much for 3 years since.

5. In what kind of world would you rather live in? I’d love to live in an Elven world. I love the architecture, I love the purple/blue/mystic gloom of the places. The nature, rivers are very beautiful. Where people cherished art, music, writing, love, beauty etc, and no one cared a wit for politics, cruelty or had any desire to forbid people from being different or happy.

6. What is your favorite video game? The Witcher, Skyrim and BioShock are my babies.

7. What is your biggest fear for yourself? Being hated by people.

8. What is your biggest wish for yourself? To be a happy little hermit =) In a beautiful place where I can write stories, paint and be surrounded by 20 dogs.

9. What fictional character do you relate to the most? Queen Freya from The Huntsman (she’s my avatar for a reason guuuuuuys). Wait, let me explain, haha. She’s portrayed as a complex evil character. I don’t consider myself to be evil, nor do I consider myself to be purely good either. I can relate to her character process. Alike her, I was very trusting and happy when I was little, I was truly a little sunshine. But like with so many of us, life happens, and then life happens again, and I became... well, a different person really. Like her, I often feel misunderstood and isolated. But I also cherish loyalty above all, and shun love away from me (I also freaking love ice and snow). I think love is beautiful when I see it with other people, but I could never love like that myself, somewhere it’s hardwired in my brain in a twisted way that love is a weakness and can be used to manipulate and harm me. Heartache and emotional suffering is something I'm terrified of (you know, when you can physically feel pain in your chest), and I can’t handle it anymore. So I don’t feel romantic desire towards people anymore, I think I’ve... removed it?

10. If you could become anything, without any education or demands, what would you choose as your profession? Author or an actress.

11. Do you have any siblings? Two brothers and one sister. I’m the second youngest.

12. Have you ever wanted to injure someone? When I was bullied, I wanted to injure the people who hurt me all the time, but I never actually did it.

13. Have you ever wanted to help someone, but didn’t? Yes, but I always try to do the best I can to help someone, even if I don’t know the person. It doesn’t matter, I’ll happily embarrass myself to help someone in need.

14. What makes you angry? Bullies, homophobes, racists, sexists, rapists, murderers, especially animal abusers can fuck off right to hell.

15. What makes you happy? My precious jewel, doggy.<3 Also, traveling and airplanes is a joy. Museums, exploring new places, yeah. Fun fun.

16. Would you rather beat up a small child once - or get beaten up by an angry man every single day for the rest of your life? I don’t want to beat up anybody, so bring me the man. Maybe I’d get really psychologically twisted and Stockholm Syndrome would set in so I’d start to like it lol.

17. What places would you visit today if you could? Ireland! Scotland! England! Just because @lithiumgrayangel showed me how beautiful Sevilla is, I wanna visit Sevilla one day. But of course, beautiful Italy (Rome is stunning), Venice again, Russia (possibly Moscow), FRANCE! Finland, Norway and Iceland are beautiful too. Also Warsaw, UK and US. And Budapest. And New Zeeland, Canada, Australia... Gosh I wanna go everywhere, I can’t pick one!

18. Do you want children? Why? If not, why not? To be honest, it will depend on what situation I am in. Did I, against all odds, found a person who wants children? Then yes, in a stable household and in happy relationship, I’d consider having one or two, no more. But... Right now, that future is looking very bleak. And if I end up with someone who don’t want children, then I won’t have children. Just get a dog instead, they’re less fussy.

19. Did you have a happy childhood? It’s a bit complicated. When I was young, I did have a happy childhood, but my father was also abusive back then. He calmed down once I became a teenager, and then the bullying started, and when the bullying stopped, my dad became sick. And my mother has basically been hysterical and wacky my entire life so. But um, to be honest. I had friends, a roof over my head, food on the table. I got nothing to complain about.

20. Have you ever done drugs? If you have, would you do it again? I’ve been offered, but I’ve never been interested and nor will I be. I know a couple of people who just smokes pipe and marijuana in front of me? I think it’s odd but. I try not to judge, and it’s not my business.

21. Would you rather become a child again, possessing all the knowledge you have today, or become middle-aged, with 45 000 000 € on your bank account? I’d become a child again, start my life over, and be twice as intelligent. Could be like a scientist or something.

22. If you could become any existing famous person in the world - who would you be and why? I admire Lana del Rey a lot, but I wouldn’t want to be any celebrity. Unless I can become someone really powerful and change the world. Like Donald Trump and resign as the president so someone more capable can take over.

23. Are your parents married or divorced? They’re divorced, but sadly live together still. It’s a stupid decision, but I reckon my father wouldn’t last a day on his own, and my mother must be addicted to misery.

24. Where do you see yourself in the future? An author, hopefully. Making a positive change, helping people, having meaningful friends in my life, living in a beautiful place surrounded by nature and animals. :)

25. If you’d like, a question of your own here. Mine is directed to my fellow Witcher lovers; Who and Why?

For friendly purposes, Regis or Cirilla? I like Ciri, and I can understand why people would choose her, she seems like she would be a lovely friend. But ultimately, I’d have so much to discuss with Regis. I feel like, without being self-absorbed or... delusional in any way, I have some things in common with him. We’re too loyal, we fight for people who don’t cherish our love or advice and we both like discussing philosophical topics with loooooooong sentences (as you’ve probably noticed by now). I’d feel so good in his company, he’s a lovely lovely man.

For romantic purposes, Dettlaff or Avallac’h? My darling Avallac’h, I know there are so many people who misunderstands him, confuses his intelligence for arrogance. People call him horrible things. To be honest, I don’t have too much against Dettlaff though, I like him, and I love his complex nature. But of course, I’d never pick anyone over Avallac’h. He’s brilliant, and I would love to discover a million new worlds with him. (ps. marry me have my babies)

As your co-worker, Caranthir or Geralt? Caranthir would be a brilliant colleague, though Geralt is probably more lovable, Caranthir is intelligent. He’d help me with my tasks and I’d sit there gazing into his eyes and not hearing a word he’s saying. ♥‿♥ (true story, I often drift away when people talk to me)

As your boss, Eredin or Ge’els? I don’t know, he feels more attainable than Ge’els do. Ge’els is just da boss, he’d rule over me, I’d always feel incredible stupid and inferior around him. But Eredin is kinda wacky, but I love him, but he’s a silly goose so I’d just try to befriend him to eventually marry him so we could rule the galaxy together.

As your best friend, Yennefer or Shani? Yennefer, my oh my, I’ve been in love with her since the first time I saw her. She’s INTELLIGENT AND INTELLIGENCE IS SEXY ASF. Shani, you cool too but. Meh, I think her character is a bit boring. There’s not much interesting about her that makes her stand out? She’s not really complex either? She’s just... idk... pretty and stuff. Redhead and stuff. (sorry @vaporeox dont kill me)

As your ally, Vernon Roche or Anna Henrietta? Nah nah, always Roche, I love that man immensely. I’d marry him too. I’d marry everyone.

As your worst enemy, Triss or Dandelion? I don’t really like Triss that much. What she did to Yennefer has ruined her in my eyes.

Tagging: I’ve already tagged people for this tag, but I would like to tag some of my lovely followers who haven’t been tagged in this, tho I can’t possibly tag all of you, I’m sorry about that: @blackeasteagle @everydayzer0es @spooky-cowfish @dovahkiin-deathbat @shadanakara @i-am-the-sword-in-the-darkness @o-moonyue-o @heroesneverdiie @blohandrum @rosiesuzuya and anyone else who wants to do it - you can write you were tagged by me. ❤

#tag #personality #mememememememeeme #i write too damn much

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snowed-out · 8 years

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time to reflect on the year so when i’m older i can look back and remember this shit. this post is so much longer than i thought it would be lmao but 2016 was truly a wild ride

so 2016 eh? the beginning was kinda rocky, i was just so fucking burnt out after cegep ended and had to make some big decisions regarding where and what programs i wanted to apply to for uni. i hate making any sort of decisions about my future bc i don’t really know exactly what i want to do with my life. i choose to go the route of commerce, particularly international management and i think what this year showed me is that it’s more of a means to and ends for me. i’m really getting the diploma so i can work for a company whose values i admire and i just really want to work for a good organization that’s making a positive impact on the world. and there are a lot of them out there so I'm sure when it comes time for graduation (if i even get there) i’ll have a better idea of where I want to be applying. but that was one of the toughest decisions to make bc i choose in the end to go to a uni an hour and a half away from home, meaning i’d have to move out and while i’d have a couple of friends in my new city, it would still be a complete change of environment. but idk at the time i really thought that’s what i wanted and while i don’t regret the decision, I think my reasons behind the decision have changed a little.

but once that big decision was over with, i left in february for one of the most incredible trips of my life. i honestly can’t put into words how incredible the whole experience was for me both mentally and emotionally. i got to visit friends i had made in europe, and they welcomed me into their homes with open arms and i just felt so happy while i was with them. and it just made me realize how important they are in my life and how it was definitely fate that made us meet. my belief in fate was proven again and again throughout my whole trip. I met so many awesome new people as well, and i think i learned so much on the trip. i learned to not take everything so seriously, to genuinely live in the moment and go with the flow which is something i’ve never been able to do before. i learned to laugh at myself which is something i’m so grateful for, and i learned that no matter the outcome, it’s honestly true that “it’s all about the experience” and i think that saying is something that’s carried on with me throughout the year. i connected with someone on the trip on some deep and physical level that i genuinely never thought i would ever experience. and it was so, so nice regardless of the fact that it hurt so much to say goodbye. but i think that’s how i know that it’s not something i overthought or imagined, because it wasn’t just my mind that was sad over it ending, but i physically felt it hurt. and it sucked to feel that way but it was great to know i was even capable of feeling that way, and i now know what to look for in the future. overall it was just such an amazing trip, literally the happiest and most carefree i think i’ve ever been. and on my worst days, it’s an incredible gift to look back on because not only did i learn incredible things, but i met wonderful people and saw some of the most beautiful places in the world. and i’m so proud of myself for saving up for the trip and for going on the journey by myself. i didn’t fuck it up.

then coming home was difficult, but i remained optimistic about life. I got a job working with one of my closest friends and made another great friend out of it. some days sucked to work but when we had the right squad working I dare say it was actually fun. and yeah I met an incredible person working there who made my summer one of the best ones i’ve ever had. he showed me how relationships should be easy and you shouldn’t think twice about seeing each other. I was always looking forward to hanging out with him because we always got out and did something fun. it was a great experience and he was such a great guy but with school started and me moving out it just wasn’t the right time for anything to really happen. and now he’s moved on with a really nice girl and i’m genuinely really happy for him. and while i don’t think we’ll be friends for a while, maybe some day down the road. we kinda tied up loose ends last night but i don’t really remember much of what was said to be honest and i doubt he does either, and maybe that’s for the best and if we’re meant to be friends somewhere down the line then that’s great, but i don’t think it will be anytime soon.

and next up from the summer was school actually starting, my first semester of uni and moving out and living on my own. while i was actually really ok with living on my own, i did really miss home. because home has never really been a place i’ve never wanted to be. my mom is my best friend and i need her support as well as my dad’s and even my brother’s. i need my dogs to cuddle with and my bed and room to relax in. and i think i realized halfway through the semester that home doesn’t have to be a place i distance myself from, bc that was my mentality at the beginning of the semester. but i realized there’s no reason for me to distance myself, bc this place will always be such an important factor in my life and i know no matter how bad things get, i can always, always come home.

and school man, ahhh school. this semester really dragged me through the mud, but it was also such a wake up call. i think i needed it to be difficult and to suck for me to finally begin to get over this stupid fucking notion that my self worth is dependent upon my grades. i don’t want either of those things to be related to one another. and this semester was just so difficult dealing with credits/co-op/international exchange/french immersion/is this what i want to be doing with my life. i realized group projects are basically a death sentence and that there’s a lot about uni you can’t really control. but i’m lucky enough to be in a position where i don’t necessarily need to keep certain grades and that really i just need to try my best. which is something i will always continue to do. i’ve given up aiming for a certain mark or caring about the mark i receive because regardless i know to myself that i’ve given everything i could and whatever mark will be, will be. and whether i pass or fail, i will still be ok. i will still have friends and an incredible family to support me no matter what as long as i tried. and boy has that been a process, a complete mental shift but i’m happy i’m working towards that because school just makes me so miserable and this semester i don’t want school to have that grip on me anymore. i’m ready for my second semester and i’m ready to stay on top of things from the beginning, to make studying for midterms and finals easier. and i’m also ready to have a fucking social life for once. like i want to do well in uni, but i also don’t want to go back to my miserable mental state. i literally went from being the happiest i’ve ever been in my life to being the second most miserable in my life. and it just sucked so much bc it was such a contrast and just knowing i was once so happy and now i wasn’t made it more difficult. but i need to find a balance between social and school and if my marks are slightly affected, then so be it. i just want to get back to being as happy as i was while i was travelling or even when i got back. and i know with time i can get there if i don’t let this negativity take over me.

and then the last thing i want to reflect on is just how motherfucking lucky i am to be surrounded by the people that i am. for starters with my family who have just been the biggest support for me throughout this hellish semester. like my mom was going through such a shitty year herself but she was always there for me no matter what. and i think just knowing they’re proud of me and believe in me and truly just want me to get through it but also to take a break if i need to means the world to me. like i know i’m so lucky to be in my situation because most don’t get the chance to go at a pace they want, but my parents don’t mind as long as i keep working hard and still make time for myself and to have fun. and i wouldn’t have made it through the semester without my friends to go grocery shopping with, or grab a coffee for a break, or come back home to visit or just rant to online. i’m so lucky to have the friends that i do. and last night showed me that too when my two best friends trekked through the cold with no jackets on just to see if i was ok and then told me all this wonderful stuff about myself and it just made me cry. like when i think about my friends and family it just makes me want to cry at how fucking blessed and lucky i am to be surrounded by such incredible people.

no matter how shitty this year got, there was always one constant, and that was love.

i’ve never felt so loved in my life and that’s what i plan to carry with me into 2017. that i am loved, that i will always have that love and support, that it’s ok not to be perfect all the time, it’s not the end of the world, and that it truly is all about the experience. and i don’t want my experience in 2017 to be a miserable one. so i’m gonna make it as positive and fun as i possibly can because it’s better than any of the alternatives.

#a mega long post about 2016 #ashley survived another year

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