#kinda a vent?
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i really need a wheelchair. fuck denial, im in agony.
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i need to vent about a difficult adult decision i have to make.
im about to move a lot of shit from my childhood home. aside from books, its just a lot of quantity. it takes up space, and if i go through it to sort out everything, it will all have sentimental value (i have some pretty severe memory issues so i tie memories to objects, and every time i try to sort through stuff i end up keeping everything). some of the things are craft supplies, and therefore valuable, but ultimately replaceable.
i'm really tempted to just take the books and maybe 4 actually monetarily valuable things, leaving everything else to be given away.
neither of these are really good options (keeping everything or getting rid of almost everything) and its really frustrating me that i have to make this decision at all. if some rich person paid me 500$ right now to offset the cost of throwing away a bunch of stuff i'd literally give it all away right now, but unfortunately thats not an option. it just kinda sucks.
#personal#kinda a vent?#not angsty i'm just angry#fuckin pissed#would love to just remove the part of my brain that likes to hoard things
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I feel selfish I have a awesome partner a couple great friends and still why do I feel like shit
they deserve better they don't deserve to deal with me cause I'm so fucking selfish
I deserve everything that's happen to me cause I am so selfish every single thing that has ever happened I deserve and people shouldn't have to deal with me
like why do they care or do they care?
They say they care but what if they are lying fo they care...
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Cannot wait until the 15th. I love pink, i love hearts, I do not like romance being marketed to me
#February just started and I'm being hounded by Valentine's day adverts nonstop#personal#kinda a vent?#b-k speaks#aromantic
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Why does talking about your feelings suck
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Ever since TikTok came back..
This is for TikTok only btw, but I’m still kinda fucked up by all the shit that’s been happening online especially when it comes to TikTok.
I’ll see if I can stick around on there for a bit longer, but I REFUSE to thank Tr__p for “bringing it back”, as it honestly feels like a reanimated corpse, a soulless husk of what the app once was.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ll try to post videos and memes I make on there after my break from the app, but if I consider quitting/leaving it entirely one day, please don’t be surprised.
I’m sorry everyone. I’m typing this as I am currently not home but I will be by tomorrow.
In the meantime, take care of yourselves, keep an eye out for political propaganda, and be good people. <3
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i mjss 2022 really bad so i drew my fursona comforting me. done mostly in ms paint and partially in firealpaca
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-Hello everyone, hry'all?
Just stopping by to apologize for not posting normally anymore, for not having any Christmas art yet and for not "interacting" much... I'm kinda quite tired, without much time to do the arts because of several commitments(now actually I don't have that much anymore, but before I really had a lot), and I'm even a little discouraged because I don't have more engagement on this blog, which makes me even more committed to not remembering this and... Anyway- I apologize profusely for all of this! I really don't know yet if I'm going to take a break or remain at least a little active here, but I'll try my best to post or idk but do something related to Christmas soon.
Thank you very much to those who have read this far and I hope you guys can understand me! A big hug for y'all and hope you are having a wonderful day/night <3
#important post#warning post#?#i'm mel and this is my blog✌️#my art blog#kinda a vent?#idk#please read it!#it's very important <3
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Y'all, I'm so actually tired of being a cynical little shit.
I'ma do a re-write and retcon my character to be happy, full of whimsy, and nice to everything
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Welp… This sucks… ;0;
#it just happened#i didn’t drop or anything like that i’ve ALWAYS been really careful while carrying it#put tape on it to try and stop it from getting more damaged#i can still use it it’s just the screen border that’s damaged#but it still means i need to pay out for a new laptop#sky rambles#kinda a vent?#tracy smiles would be much appreciated#thunderfam#thunderfam sos
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whoops my theatre is shutting down
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"Your Happiness will always be worth more than my Sad."
Pretty sure a lot of people live by this rule.
I know I do.
I don't like to call myself a people pleaser- because in all actuality, I'm not.
I'm not until you're close to me and someone I cherish.
(Just a lil' rant :] )
The few people that I would break my spine to please I hold closely to my heart, as foolish as I've realised that can be within my life.
These few people are quite simple:
My Spouse
My Sister
My Close Friends
Unusual, isn't it? That I would go so far for few people, even to the point where it begins to affect me.
I'm loyal. Really loyal. Too loyal at times.
Definitely not trusting. Not naive. But loyal nonetheless.
And it's weird. I'm naturally a very laid-back, chill person that doesn't like to do a lot, but when I think of my friends, my sister, and my Spouse...
I would do a lot of things for them. I would- and do- actively shove away my emotions so that I don't have to bring down other's moods.
I'm open with my emotions and communicate my feelings up until the point where it's jealousy or sadness over seemingly insignificant things.
Most of the time it's because I don't want to tell someone I'm feeling jealous of a thing they're doing with other people (aka. feeling left out- something I don't believe anyone should have to experience, 'cause it fuckin sucks) because it's simply just a ME problem that they don't need to dragged into. I don't want them feeling guilty of a thing I'm feeling, y'know? 'Specially when they didn't go out of their way to cause it.
I'm not a burden. I know I'm not.
Just sometimes... I think I hold other people's happiness in higher esteem than my own struggles and emotions.
And so, I created a little rule I go by (that I shouldn't be) called:
"Your Happiness will always be worth more than my Sad."
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I wish I was someone's favorite... I'm always gonna be second best no matter what
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Am I the only one who's annoyed by the thing when you go to a blog, rather than show it the way Tumblr shows things, it takes you to what is basically a whole other site?
Like, not only is the layout really wonky compared to what you're expecting, but any tags you filter are no longer filtered on the other site thing (which means that if you filter for stuff like flashing or gore, those things are not filtered)
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Jesus christ that fucking sucked. I was like early for half of it- And off tune at the end... Listening to it and JESUS FUCKING CHRIST IM SUCH A SHITTY FUCKING SINGER I SOUND LIKE A TWO YEAR OLD I LISTENED TO MY FAV PART AND I WAS EARLY AND UGHHHH 😭😭😭😭
anyways thats the one im uploading i will be obsessing over this for hours, and i gotta get ready for halloween soon Also pleaseeeee dont call me cringe, one of my friends said my singing was cringe, and its horrible.
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Have you ever missed someone you never actually knew, yet you felt like you knew them for a lifetime? Pieces of art and songs remind you of them, just for you to remember the connection wasn't everything you made it to be. They show up in your dreams. You waste ink in poems that speak louder than the pain stored in tears. Pounding in your chest increases late at night with the reminiscence of what once was. "Maybe in a different universe." Yea maybe..maybe not. I stare at my hands that once craved to be intertwined with yours. Questions upon questions, that will never be answered and probably aren't meant to be. Your absence meant more to me than mine did to you. Life's biggest trick is handing you people that start to mean so much, only to pull them away when you least expect it. Ha, well played. We continue to get fooled..not once..not twice. As many times as need be to teach us that not everything lasts forever. Not everybody has the same heart as us. Not everybody speaks the same love language. Not everybody wants to be shown that they're worth loving and not worth losing. But hey, you didn't know them that much anyways. Missing a soul you barely knew says so much about you. It's possible our souls knew each other in a different lifetime, but in this one, I cared for yours more than you cared for mine❤️🩹
#deep thoughts#deep poetry#kinda a vent?#idk what this is but#just expressing and emptying into the tumblr void#hey specific someone if you see this#which i doubt u will#i miss u and i hope ur okay#this is truly pathetic#but i live by not being embarrassed for loving too hard#perhaps i was never enough for u in the first place#u say u love me but the lack of communication says otherwise meine liebe💜#edit: hahah ew ^ y am i so mushy gushy#flight yaps
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