#kind of mad at myself for coming to this show like 20 years late lmao

[mortalscience]

luke alvez, the MAN THAT YOU ARE. my guy saw that his friend was depressed, disabled, and trauma-ridden and said you know what you need? a PET. and luke was literally like MY DOG ROXY SAVED MY LIFE SO THIS PUPPY WILL SAVE YOURS.

i totally vibe with that cause my 5 cats are my precious angel babies forever and i live my life for them (the only pictures i have up at work are of my cats!!!) so y'know what, hell yeah. buy your sad friend a puppy.

also he of course enlisted penelope to help him with this!! *sobs* no better person ofc. dog dad + cat mom energy!!

[inspiringwhilerespiring]

Get to know me?

Yoooo - yall remember Myspace, and people would blog survey posts lol. Well thats me, I’m people. And I just wanna write my lil heart out and avoid all of my real life responsibilities. So found a lil questionnaire thing and I’m gonna fill it out. Also lowkey like doing this every so often so I can look back on it and reflect and see how much I may have grown/changed/shifted viewzzz ya feel? :) 

Sooo here yall go <3 

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

My neice maybe?

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

People who know me would tell me to put outgoing, but I honestly feel shy on the inside, so it just depends.

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

Literally anyone lmao fuck this quarantine

4. Are you easy to get along with?

Definitely

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

Lets hope so

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

Kind souls <3 always notice how they talk to their friends and family, but even people they don’t know like servers or janitors, etc. that shit matters heavy.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

Probably not

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

A few homies

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Nah not really, just depends

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Not sure -it’s been a min since I had a “deep” connection or convo that I can remember - but was probably with my bestie R’Bo

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

“Google that shit” lmao me, giving advice to my friends

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

TOUGH!!!! After Hours by The Weeknd is up there, Cayendo by Frank Ocean (been jamming his shit HAARD lately) and Inside Friend by Leon Bridges & John Mayer….but also been listening to albums - like Childish’s new album, Floreyyy for lo-fi shit, and also got into 070 Shake recently just to name a few.

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

FUCK YA

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

Yeah budddyy

15. What good thing happened this summer?

Idk, my bday party was lit?? And lots of river floats happened

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Lol

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

Cant deny that there isn’t so yaaa

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

No

19. Do you like bubble baths?

Yes

20. Do you like your neighbors?

Just moved, so don’t know em

21. What are you bad habits?

Procrastination lol and biting my nails

22. Where would you like to travel?

Literally ANNNYY-fuckin-WHERE!

23. Do you have trust issues?

Hmm I wanna say generally no, but I also always keep it one hunnnid with myself, and as much as I’d like to say I don’t have any - I think I def have insecurities with myself, that have the potential to become “trust issues” in certain relationships, but overall no. I live by the whole “you have my trust til you fuck it up” mantra

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

Coffee in the morning lately, missed it and forgot how energized it makes me - gives me time to wake up and reflect/set daily goals

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

Stomach forever :((((

26. What do you do when you wake up?

Scroll on my phone, pee usually, or feed my cat lol

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

Tanner maybe?

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

My mom or my best friend R’Bonney - but any of my close friends and fam honestly

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

Not directly

30. Do you ever want to get married?

Lol ok, so this is always changing…but lately (and by lately I mean the past few years) its been a no. I’m open minded though and am aware that I’m always changing my mind sooo who knows

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

yeppperoo

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

Honestly, those aren’t my “thing” lollike id prob laugh or be awkward or just have to be hellllla drunk - but like I wouldn’t mind Jason Momoa and Tom Hardy tossin me around

33. Spell your name with your chin.

hjaylkee

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

Scocer back in the day - actually went and kicked it like a week ago for the first time in YEARSSSS - felt so damn good

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

TV, music forreeevverrr

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

Lol story of my life

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

“Soooo” then probably ask a question or some shit lol

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

Hmmm…definitely have to be funny/have a good sense of humor. They’d have to be open-minded for sure. Up for trying new things, places, cultures, food, music, etc. Just have an adventurous spirit I guess when it comes to that. Have a good line of communication/openness - and just be able to have a deep/intellectual convo about anything and everything. Bonuses: taller than me, likes cooking, and going to music shows.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

Amazon lol I hate shopping

40. What do you want to do after high school?

To go back to high school :( lmao so much id re-do, cant believe its almost been a decade

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

Hell yeah, this is life my dudes, dont take it so seriously - we all fuck up at some point or another

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

Something is on my mind for sure, or im just tired lol

43. Do you smile at strangers?

Yeah

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

DAMNNN WHAT so hard - I guesss if I had to pick, space…just because it’s more rare/harder to do I’d think.

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

My cat lol with his meowing ass

46. What are you paranoid about?

Lowkey a lot lol

47. Have you ever been high?

8)

48. Have you ever been drunk?

Who hasn’t????

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

naw

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Black probably, like half my wardrobe

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

Of course

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

My bad habits

56. Favourite colour?

Yelllllow :)

57. Favourite food?

Oh gaaawwd, literally anything - lately: PB&J’s, fries, wings, Mediterranean, Mexican, pickles, ice cream, ramenzzzz

58. Last thing you ate?

Pistachios

59. First thing you ate this morning?

Cofffeeee w creamer

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

Idk, not off the top of my head - maybe something back in elementary

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

Nah

62. Been arrested? For what?

Yeah lmao

63. Ever been in love?

Yes

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

No its really not that interesting and idc to type it out

65. Are you hungry right now?

24/7/365

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

Lol yes a few of them <333

67. Facebook or Twitter?

FB

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?

Noooo

70. Names of your bestfriends?

R’Bonney is number 1

71. Craving something? What?

Foooood, and companionship? Lol

72. What colour are your towels?

Idk, random, mostly blue

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

A lot lol

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

Lol no, but I have my one from my childhood in my room

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

1 - shout out to you Mr.Fluffy

75. Favourite animal?

I am fascinated by sharks; and like gators/crocs. But I have mad respect for elephants, they’re sooo damn smart and beautiful.

76. What colour is your underwear?

Dont have any on

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

BITCHHHH CHOC

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

All of them

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

Tie-dye

80. What colour pants?

none

81. Favourite tv show?

Game of Thrones prob

82. Favourite movie?

Avatar or Shawshank Redemption

87. First person you talked to today?

Sissy

88. Last person you talked to today?

Friend on FT

89. Name a person you hate?

No one, maybe Trump? lol

90. Name a person you love?

Everyone, fr fr

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

Nah

92. In a fight with someone?

Nah

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

Not enough <3

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

Not enough <3

95. Last movie you watched?

The Decline on Netflix, short lil foreign oil, was deep/interesting

96. Favourite actress?

Not sure-Sandra Bullock? Or Meryl

97. Favourite actor?

Denzel or Morgan Freeman

98. Do you tan a lot?

Nah not anymore honestly

99. Have any pets?

Yessss

100. How are you feeling?

Mediocre

101. Do you type fast?

Ya

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

Im sure

103. Can you spell well?

Ya

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

Lol im nostalgic af, so yes

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

Yes litttty tittyyy

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

Probably :(

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

Hell yeah brother, I’m from TX

108. What should you be doing?

So much shit lol

109. Is something irritating you right now?

The fact that I ain’t doing all the shit I should be lol

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

Yooo yes

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

Prob my sister or my mom?? Lol I cry a lot, idk and idc

113. What was your childhood nickname?

Hayls?

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

Yes

115. Do you play the Wii?

Back in the day

116. Are you listening to music right now?

Surprisingly, no

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

Nah, unless maybe if its homemade

118. Do you like Chinese food?

Yeah occasionally, more of a Thai food chick or Japanese

119. Favourite book?

Kite Runner

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

Low-key sometimes lol

121. Are you mean?

Hell noooo

122. Is cheating ever okay?

Ok, this is an interesting one lol I mean no, it’s not “okay” - since it usually constitutes lying/hiding/hurting someone - BUTTTT, for a lack of a better term - I wanna say it’s “normal”? But thats because I, personally, am on the fence about the concept of monogamy. Like no, I’ve never cheated nor experienced that in return - but the whole concept of monogamy and like that a person can love and only love or be with one person is WILLLLDDD and I can’t help but note that its a social construct that we, as a society, are conditioned to from the time we are born. Idk if that makes sense bc im high af lol but those are my thoughts…like to sum it up - cheating is fucked up and sucks, but at the same time its not all that surprising/shocking anymore, like borderline “normalized” just as divorces are and shit, so I feel like bc biologically we aren’t made to be with one person lol. I don’t condone it tho. Thanks for coming to my TedTalk.

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

Hell to the naw naw

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Hmmm idk about that one, but also can’t deny it

125. Do you believe in true love?

Yeah of course, you’re talking to a hopeless romantic

126. Are you currently bored?

I guess we could say that

127. What makes you happy?

Food and close, loved ones

128. Would you change your name?

Nah, too much paper work

129. What your zodiac sign?

Cancer, with my lil moody, sensitive ass

130. Do you like subway?

I did lol

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Story of my mf life lol literally all my exes are “best friends turned lovers” situation, so guess it would just depend lmao

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

Lol oh godddd; ok off the top of my head - Tupac - Keep Ya Head Up is what comes to mind; just a timeless song and the lyrics are still relevant/apply to this day and idk just really resonate with the message behind that song <3

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

Idk, but it was probably SO dumb, and told to my parents lol

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

Either or, lately open so my cat can go in and out lol

137. How tall are you?

5’6 mayyybeee 5’5 actually lol

140. Summer or Winter?

Fall!!

141. Night or Day?

Def a lil night owl, always have been

142. Favourite month?

April and October for weather at least

143. Are you a vegetarian?

No but I try, and go through phases, I’m definitely mindful the older I get and more focused on my health I become

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

FUCKIN ALLLLL

145. Tea or Coffee?

Coffee but I like tea too, just seem to drink coffee more regularly

146. Was today a good day?

The grateful-to-just-be-alive in me wants to say yes lol but idk, felt off/unaccomplished and cried a lot, so no.

147. Mars or Snickers?

Snickers

148. What’s your favourite quote?

“This too shall pass”

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

Sure why not

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

“After all, what he had always wanted was just that: to know new places.” -The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho

[purplesurveys]

661

1. What time did you wake up this morning? 8 AM. That’s pretty late for me, but then again I fell asleep at 2 AM this morning keeping Gab company while she studied. 2. When did you take your default picture? The photo I have on this Tumblr was takennnnnn at least six months ago? It was definitely not too long ago. 3. Are you hungry? Not really. I can go for something sweet right now though – my mom went out to run some errands and I asked her to get my favorite cookie from Starbucks, the dark chocolate macadamia cookie, so I’m currently waiting for her to get back so I can finally satisfy my craving haha. 4. Have you ever cheated on a test? Once. It was an exam that I already had a feeling I was getting a 99 on, but there was one question I was stuck on so I was getting increasingly annoyed at potentially missing a perfect mark. Then in the middle of the exam the school played the 3 O’Clock Prayer (Catholic school quirks, lmao) so we had to pause the exam and stand up. As I was lightly pacing at my spot, I saw that the girl behind me had her exam paper open to the page with the question I was stuck on. I knew she was smart, so I just copied whatever answer she had. I ended up getting a 100 on that exam but I felt disgusting and I realized the perfect grade wasn’t worth it AT ALL and I never cheated again after that. 5. When was the last time you ate ice cream? Thursday! Gab and I picked up some ice cream at Mad Mark’s, which was a bit of a throwback considering the last time I had ice cream from there was 2015. But we were craving dessert, so yeah.

6. What computer game is in your CPU? My Mac has a sliding puzzle game, but I’m too lazy to check if it offers any other ones. 7. Do you like Audrey Hepburn? I LOVE her. Those who know me from my old old old surveys might remember how obsessed I used to be with Audrey andddd I’ve literally seen almost all of her movies, save for the ones that were released from the 70s to 80s because I never got to find those. She’s still very special to me and I still watch her movies and interviews from time to time :) 8. What color is your winter jacket? I don’t have one. 9. Do you have any siblings? I do. 10. Would you call yourself skinny? I’m on the petite side, but I wouldn’t call myself skinny. 11. Does your phone take pictures? Yes. Just realized this survey was published in 2008, which makes it a completely valid question at the time hahaha.

12. Who is your favorite neighbor? I don’t have one. 13. Do you wish at 11:11? I make a mock wish when I catch it, but yeah I never take it seriously. 14. Have you ever gotten a detention? Detention isn’t a thing here and to be honest I still have no idea what that entails. Do kids in detention sweep the floor? Write a sentence on the board 60 times like Bart Simpson? Whatever it is, we don’t have it here and it’s usually enough for students to simply be verbally scolded. 15. Do you still watch Disney Channel? When I’m at a hotel, yeah. That’s really the only time I get to chill in front of a TV these days. 16. Who did you last IM? Andrew. 17. Who is your least favorite teacher? All of my teachers this sem are good/great, fortunately. The last meh prof that I had is the one from my elective on contemporary Philippine history. That dude was so obviously unprepared all semester long, and I’ve never liked profs that appear or come to class unprepared. 18. What were you doing six hours ago? I was in UP. I’m part of the graduation committee and the second wave of grad photo shoots happened today, so I went in to take a shift. 19. What is your ringtone? I just have the default ones provided by Apple. 20. Does your door have a dead bolt on it? Yes, but I have to say I had to Google this because I’ve never heard this term before lmao. 21. Have you ever been to a show? I’ve...been to all kinds of shows? 22. What are some details about your first kiss? I was 16 and I was extremely nervous with my girlfriend who was extremely eager. We were supposed to kiss on a certain date, but I remembered it was the birthday of a girl in high school that I hate so I told her to push it up to midnight HAHAHA. The feeling wasn’t 100% ~sparks fly~ because I was really anxious, but it was a good experience nonetheless. 23. What college do you want to attend/currently attend? I only ever wanted to be in UP. I’m now in it and am graduating in four months.

24. Have you had any soda today? Nope, hate soda. 25. What is your favorite scary movie? Probably The Shining. Or Scream. 26. Do you own a Wii? We used to, but it gradually got overheated through the years until it was unable to boot up. Lots of amazing memories from it, though. 27. Did you wear shorts today? No, I’ve just been wearing a dress today. 28. Anything fun happening this weekend? I’m gonna go to my grandparents’ (dad’s side) in Laguna this Saturday, and as is tradition they’ll be preparing kare-kare, prawns, and crabs for us; Sunday will be Gabie and mine’s anniversary so we’ll be going to Art Fair PH in Makati and having a nice dinner :) 29. What shoes did you wear today? I dunno yet but I might just go for sneakers as always. 30. What is your favorite type of Pop Tart? Well, as a Third World Southeast Asian country that only gets the same four flavors (chocolate, cookies and cream, s’mores, and strawberry) – I’ll go with chocolate. 31. Do you subscribe to any magazines? Nope. And I never did when that was still a thing; I liked buying new issues by myself at the mall. 32. What was the last television show you watched? BoJack Horseman, which I started getting into this weekend. 33. Do you know any other languages? Filipino. 34. Are you wearing anything green? Not right now.

[wanna1things]

Private Investigator/Detective!Ren AU

Genre;; detective!au i guess and PI!au which are my absolute FAVE aus i love police shows +++ FLUFF??

Warnings;; none i mean not that i know of there's mention of a robbery & kidnapping so?

Pairing;; Choi Minki/Ren x reader

Summary;; Minki is an annoying PI who keeps solving the case before the police even find a single lead, that is, until you two meet…

Style;; bullet point because i am not in the MOOD TO WRITE FULLY -- gender neutral + stuff

Word Count; 3071

So;; this is my first AU that I’m posting and it’s one that i’ve wanted to write for a long time so!! I hope that it’s good and that yall enjoy it; i love minki so i really wanted to do this uhh watch when half on my aus on here are minki stuff lmao bye; idk;; uhhh lets goooo

there is not a single human on the police force that doesn’t despise the annoying PI choi Minki or,, ‘Ren’ as he likes to be called

dumb name right (not i love you Minki i’m sorry)

he somehow always manages to get to the scene of a crime before the police even know the crime has occurred like… how??

he's always rubbing it into their faces when they turn up as he’s leaving with bags of evidence like

‘oh you’re a bit late aren’t you??’

anyway

you’re a new detective on the police force straight out of police school or whatever;; specialised in profiling ooh go you!!

everyone kind of;; treats you badly because uhh newbie makes the tea and coffee that's their job??

but they still spill all the tea about Minki to you because he is CONSTANTLY aggravating them and refusing to work with the police;;

it takes 2 weeks for them to even invite you along to a case;;

a woman in her 90s who lived with her 20 year old granddaughter had her sapphire pendant stolen while she was in the house how sad :( poor granny

and when you get there,, guess who is there

you’re right, it's ‘private investigator Ren’ wow who’d’ve guessed??

you shuffle into the room following your colleagues and straight away you look at him and realise wow;; this guy is;;; beautiful how come they mentioned how annoying he is and not how beautiful this man is??

it doesn't take long for him to realise you’re staring at him mainly because all of your colleagues are scrambling to collect what’s left of the evidence while you’re just,, stood still like a rock (uhh medusa beauty much??)

so,, as he stuffs his notebook into his pocket he walks over to you and hands you… his business card

‘call me anytime’

he nods as he slips the card into your hand,,, WINKING, and then he leaves lol

CONTROL YOURSELF

you just give him a look like ;; what;; and get on with your work but… that darn beautiful man is on your mind gO AWAY Minki FFFFF

I mean that is until the next day when you wake up to an angry phone call because…

the uncooperative PI Ren has rang the police force and asked to speak to,, well what seems to be,, you??

I mean he described you as ‘that new detective that looked like a rabbit in the headlights and had no idea what they were doing but seemed to really enjoy staring at my face’ is he wrong tho i think not

So;; you rise out of bed because wow your co worker seemed mad and you do nOT WANT TO MISS OUT ON THIS OPPORTUNITY

Mainly because you wanted to find out how the hell he could solve things so fast but

Also because uhh he is a beautiful specimen who would turn that down??

as you turn up to work the whole office is just staring at you;;

you can hear people you’ve never spoken to just;; talking about you like

‘why does Ren want to speak to the newbie??? Out of all of us they’re the most useless;;’

like ouch;;

you don’t even know yourself why he picked you like?? nobody else in your department acknowledges you why is he ?? asking for you??

but you continue on your way to the conference room where hopefully Ren is waiting unless that's a whole ass hoax;; i mean nah he's not that mean

as soon as you enter the room he stands up and just straight up announces that he's solved the case

and you're just standing there shocked like what the hell nobody here even has a clue who’s done it there are no leads??

and he walks over to you,, grabs you by the hand and sits you down beside him where he has a file in front of him and just whispers

‘overwrite the cctv for this room when we’re done because i’m going to tell you exactly how i solved this.’

woAH THERE A SECOND

why is he revealing his secrets to you of all people???

is this some sort of game?? is he going to tell you incorrect details?? what is this???

while you're lost in your thoughts he just taps your shoulder and explains

‘your coworkers looked like they hate you;; and that's not nice… i’m going to help you to prove them wrong’

Hold up

The notoriously annoying and aggravating CHOI Minki is helping you out???? what

I mean you’re not going to argue this is the chance of a lifetime

‘But…’

Uh oh

‘There's one condition, you can't tell anyone i’m helping you out and i’ll only speak to you about a case. If you tell anyone else about this you won’t see the sun shine ever again’

Says that last bit with a smile like uh woah okay

Bit threatening there Minki

Of course you accept graciously, it’s not as though you actually speak to your colleagues except asking how they like their tea

And so the partnership ensues

he explains how he originally pursued the idea that it was an inside job, the granddaughter stole the pendant,, which makes sense because it all happened while the grandmother was in the house and she was in debt because of her student loan (ugh i feel you girl) but… it all seems a bit too convenient

so,, he decided to look into the granddaughter

and it turned out her recently dumped ex-boyfriend was in major debt from a gambling problem and needed to pay it off asap or some bad guys would be after him

and of course, an ex-boyfriend would know where spare keys are etc and maybe even where the pendant was

and his fingerprints wouldn't be out of place in the house because;; well he dated the granddaughter so

and so he went over to the ex-boyfriend's house and caught him with the darned pendant in his hands;; sneaky boy

and you are sat there like ?? this is so simple how dumb is the police force that they can't keep up with this??

obviously you express this to Minki who laughs and agrees with you wholeheartedly like lmao dumb colleagues am i right

and from that point onwards you two are like secret partners in crime;; you always work together on cases after everyone else has gone home in a little cafe in between his office and the police hq

and you keep solving crimes with his help and its!! Really fun!!

That is until about 3 weeks into the agreement when there's a massive kidnapping case that even Minki can't solve,, people keep being kidnapped for 48 hours then returned with no memory of what happened??

It's even more odd because;; it seems to always be the people he's close to who are getting kidnapped;;

First it was his old school friend, Aron, then it was his first girlfriend, Areum,,

And he just can't find a single lead??

Funny fact is that the police actually have him as a suspect uhh

but after a hard day of;; trying to interview the public to work out the identity of the kidnapper he smoothly invites you out like

‘Hey its like 10pm and we’ve not eaten since like 12 do you want to grab a bite to eat on me??’

and he takes you to this little fancy bakery about 10 minutes from where you were

and it's adorable they have pastries shaped like pokemon and stuff bLESS

he recommends these cute little croissant-style things that are a peachy colour and are filled with peach jam (they have these in a bakery near me they're AMAZING)

he pays for you and you sit at the bar by the window looking out at the road and just eating in silence before Minki turns to you and speaks up

‘y/n there’s a little secret i have to tell you~’

‘uh okay go ahead??’

‘don’t you want to know why i chose to work only with you?’

well of course you reply ‘yes??!!’ because that has been confusing you for the past few weeks??

and he then explains he was in the same position as you;; he used to be a detective in the police force and was treated the same way;;

he always could work out who’d done the crime but nobody else listened to him and they always prosecuted the ‘’easy target’’ which is terrible omg how corrupt

but

‘You’re different, you remind me of myself and i want to give you the help you need to rise to the top and end this’

‘But won’t that mean you’d lose your job??’

‘Definitely not;; private investigator Ren will never go out of business!!’

He smiles that cute ass big smile and his eyes go like crescent moons and you swear you feel your heart jump a little and you realise oh my god the way his eyes light up and his cute lil cheeks are completely adorable oh my god has he always been this loveable and cute whats going on;;

You’re getting ahead of yourself this relationship is strictly professional… right??

You finish the lil pastry and you open your flask of hot chocolate and offer a little to Minki

‘i ;; only have one cup?? But do you want a little??’ and he smiles so wIDE and just grabs the cup out of your hands and downs it like a shot what the hell

You take it back off him and fill up your own because ok if you don't have some now he will probably finish your whole flask in one second lmao

Oo no you got a little bit of hot chocolate on your nossseeee wyd???

you suddenly just notice Minki is staring intently at your face like ??? is there something on my face??

yes there is

He leans in WAY TO CLOSE and you feel your heartbeat just speed up to supersonic speed like oh my god this beautiful face is getting closer and closer whAT IS HAPPENING

He just wipes the bit of hot chocolate of your nose with the tip of his finger and licks it off smiling at you the whole time

Oh my

Be still your beating heart

That hurt but woah okay what is this feeling

Excuse me but

I think you have a little crush on Minki ;)))))))))))))))))))))

Anyway so yall go home get some schleep and food and stuff

And you keep meeting up every day of the week and you gradually realise that yeah;; you definitely have feelings for this beautiful guy

But

that's awkward?? Yall are just working together and Minki’s been dropping hints that this case will probably be the last yall work together

and you can’t explain how much that hurts like if you could you’d want to keep this case going forever but you gotta solve it

That's until it's week 4 of solving the case,, week 7 of yall working together as partners

And suddenly, one of Minki’s best friends jonghyun just disappears

Like the others he returns after 48 hours with little to no memory of what happened but this time

He turns up at Minki’s apartment when you both are there

Yall are watching a film to relax after the long day of work and you're both sharing some cup ramen (goals)

And he just knocks loudly on the door

You get up to answer it but Minki waves you to sit back down so,, you do,, and you continue your lovely noodles

Jonghyun walks in oddly calm and passes a small folded note to Minki

And whatever the hell is in this note is bad news

Minki straight away drops the note saying only ‘i knew it’ and he speeds out of the door to god knows where, dropping the note on the floor in his rush

Jonghyun just mumbles a ‘hello y/n’ towards you and slips out of the front door behind Minki,, presumably to follow him but who knows

you completely miss the fact that despite you’ve never met this guy he,,, knows your name?? But ;) who told him and why eh??

and tbh you are confused out of your mind like what the hELL DOES THAT NOTE SAY

so despite the fact that it might be considered ‘nosy’ you walk over to the door and pick up the note and it reads only one sentence

‘Your love comes next, i won’t let them go.’

Ok who is his love

Does Minki have a girlfriend or boyfriend?? Are they the next target?? Oh my gOD ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH A GUY THAT'S TAKEN

Wait what

In love

Now you realise you love Minki? Good one

You decide not to follow him and instead you just collect your stuff together and head home

The next morning Minki turns up at your door with some flowers to apologise for running off from the sleepover party;;

you just take them sheepishly, shoving them in a vase before leaving with him

the walk is awkward to say the least like uhh

Neither of you say a word and when Minki tries to start a conversation all you can think about is how jealous you are of this partner like;; they get Minki this beautiful man lucky asssssss

He basically doesn't leave your side the whole day

You visit jonghyun and ask him some questions about his kidnapper but;; of course he remembers nothing;; but he nudges Minki while you're making notes and whispers something in Minki’s ear

Sounded suspiciously like ‘is this your plan’

Minki nodded in response who knows what that means you certainly don't (yes you blind)

But it's getting a bit suffocating because;; every 5 seconds you're reminded of this person;; that Minki obviously cares about;; and it's sad y'know you love him and now it's unrequited

So you take a step outside with your lil water bottle not bothering to say anything to Minki or jonghyun who seem to be deep in conversation

As you’re sipping that nice, cool flavoured water (mmm i love flavoured water yes) something covers your nose and mouth and your vision starts to go

You can feel yourself being dragged somewhere,, into a van maybe?? 

And the last thing you hear before your consciousness fades is Minki shouting ‘why?!’ and then… nothing

When you wake up youre in a shifty ass warehouse

someone's tied you to a pole in a seated position but not very well because ha you can still move a little

someone walks out of the shadows and you immediately recognise them as one of the guys from the police force;;

Okay what??

He crouches down in front of you and laughs in your face

‘You and Ren had a wonderful act going didn't you? You love working with someone who disrupts the status quo. In fact, you love him don't you? Everyone can tell. But you two are a problem. If you actually solve a case, it takes too long. I only care about numbers, not who is innocent or guilty. You shouldn’t care either but… you and Ren are obviously the same. Both annoying little brats. You lovebirds should get a room, preferably as far away from the police force as possible.’

this guy is crazy

he is saying almost the exact thing Minki was talking about before? When he said about why he wanted to help you? Yikes

He leans forward to put  the rag over your mouth again to knock you out but before he can the door to the warehouse flies open

And guess who is there

It's your boy Mink

i‘Detective Chief Inspector Lee.. there is no need to get innocent people caught up in your stupid games.’

The DCI just scoffs and leans down again to your level, smirking as he places a knife against your neck

‘This so-called innocent idiot is only here because of you, why did you take such a liking to them? You’re lovestruck and it's obviously blinding your judgement. You know i’m right really…’

Minki looks straight into your eyes and wow okay he has definitely been crying look how red his eyes are and those bags under his beautiful eyes;; oh no

You smile at him and wink and you just see this confused look flash across the DCI’s face,, like lmao why you winking tf is your name park jihoon

Suddenly you lift up your legs and kick the DCI to the floor and Minki kicks away his knife, pulling his hands behind his back and putting on the handcuffs quickly;;

He subdues him fully and then comes over, untied the ropes around your wrists and quickly pulling you into his chest and hugging you hard

And all these emotions overcome both of you and you're just both there;; crying into each others shoulders aw

And you feel it's kind of the right moment to confess like now or never so uhh here goes

‘Hey Minki you know I-’

‘Dont worry, I know and I feel the same way’

hOOLD UP unless you misunderstood that Minki… likes you too okay that makes sense from what the DCI said lmao okay

WAIT YOU'RE HIS LOVE FROM THE LETTER HOLD ON

You feel his arms untangle themselves from you as he leans back and just looks into your eyes before softly pressing his lips against yours and your feelings are confirmed yes;

;It's like fireworks omg cheesy but yes it was meant to be you’re so happy you got dragged along to that case that one day;;

Anyway that DCI is pissed because of the PDA going on in front of him so yall have to s t o p and get this dude back to the police station uhhh

UH SO TIME SKIP

Yall are like couple goals;;

You get promoted to the DCI’s position mainly because Minki’s friend is this Police Chief Hwang;; and Minki agrees to cooperate fully with police investigations but only when its with you uhh bless up

Honestly everyone is jealous of you all of the newbies pray for another annoying PI to appear just so they can experience a love story as cute as yours god bless;;;

;And yall hold the record for most crimes solved!! You go guys!! Power couple alert!!

And yes thats all i have it's 2am i am going this is soft i love Minki thank appreciate my boy

lol i hope this wasn’t terrible i wrote it all so late at night i’ll proof read it tomorrow morning but enjoy;; its 3am nearly now

[scientifically-strange]

I'm daring you. 1. - 47.

1.Do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend?

I mean, that would be nice. I mean, I’m not actively looking for one right now, but if someone comes my way I’m not exactly going to get in the way of my own happiness, you know?

2.When did your last hug take place?

A few hours ago. My stepdad was saying goodnight to me

3.Are you a jealous person?

No, not really. I’m a pretty laid back person

4.Are you tired right now?

Bro, that’s like my default mode, alright. I’m always tired, 24/7

5.Do you chew on your straws?

Sometimes. Not recently though since I just got my retainer like a week ago

6.Have you ever been called a tease?

No? I mean, in bed sure a couple times, but in general like ‘hey you’re leading me on’ kind of tease, never. I’m a very blunt, straightforward person sometimes

7.Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?

Listen, I know sometimes I make jokes about hating myself, but I don’t hate myself that much. 

8.Do you cry easily?

I do, but not often. Usually when I cry it’s from an intense emotional buildup over a long period of time because I subconsciously bottle things up without realizing it until it’s too late so

9.What should you be doing right now?

Math homework, sleeping, mentally preparing myself for having to work on Thanksgiving

10.Are you a heavy sleeper?

I live in a house with four dogs, a noisy younger brother, an older brother with noisy friends, and my dog’s snoring and godawful farts, so yeah, I am. If I wasn’t I would literally just be awake the whole time

11.Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months?

My last big relationship lasted almost 3 years, so yeah, I think I can do that

12.Are you mad at someone right now?

Yeah, but only in the sense that if the subject is brought up I’ll rant big time and talk some major shit, but I’m not like outright looking for someone to be angry at, it just sort of happens

13.Do you believe in love?

Yes.

14.What makes you laugh no matter what?

There’s this comic floating around on this site somewhere where Captain America sneezes and Tony says god bless america and the last panel is like this closeup of Cap’s face and he looks just like Kermit the Frog and it makes me lose my fucking shit every time I see it

15.Who was the last person you talked to?

My stepdad

16.Do you get butterflies around the person you like?

Platonically? No, but with people I have a sort of crush on, yeah, sometimes. 

17.Will you get married?

Hopefully one day. I can’t really see myself with a husband though, so I’m gonna be searching for that soft wife of mine who can crush my skull with her thighs

18.When was the last time you smiled?

When I was answering question 14

19.Does anyone like you?

Yeah, but the feeling is not returned. He’s 14 and in the tae kwon do class before mine, and I’m 18 and don’t do that so

20.Do you secretly like someone?

Um...Idk? Maybe? I’m pretty clueless with my own feelings sometimes, so if I like someone it’ll take me a cool minute to realize it. So in short, TBD

21.Who was the first person you talked to today?

Does my dog count

22.Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

A close friend of mine who I’ve known for almost ten years, a new internet friend of mine, and one of my friends from high school who I still talk to regularly

23.What are you NOT looking forward to?

The holiday season and fucking Star Wars. Listen, okay, FUCK Star Wars (I work at a fucking movie theater literally shoot me)

24.What ARE you looking forward to?

I got the job to this dance place the next town over from mine. They teach ballroom dancing, and for the next three months I’m gonna be training with them to become an official instructor. My training for it starts next week, and I’m really excited about it

25.Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you, and meant it?

Yeah, plenty of times

26.Suppose you see your ex kissing another person what would you do?

Listen, I wouldn't care. We’re not together anymore, so why should it matter? It shows me that they’ve moved on to a hopefully happier, healthier relationship, and even if I didn’t leave on best terms with someone, I still want them to be happy

27.Do you plan on moving out within the next year?

No, I can;t afford that. College is expensive my dudes

28.Are you a forgiving person?

Yeah, I like to think so. What happened then is water under the bridge now, and there’s way to much time wasted on hate where I could be doing other things, like sleeping or talking to my dog like she’s my therapist

29.How many TRUE friends do you have?

Six

30.Do you fall for people easily?

I don;t think I do? Like, usually I would like to know the person for years befroe we start going out. With my last relationship we knew each other for six going on seven years before we dated for a couple months, and before that I had known my ex for three years before we started dating. So no, not really. It makes it kind of hard to get a girlfriend of a boyfriend because I want to be with someone but I don;t want to settle for just anybody who I have no emotional connection with

31.Have you ever fallen for your ex’s best friend?

No, those are strictly platonic relationships

32.What’s the last thing you put in your mouth?

My retainer 

33.Who was the last person you drove with?

My younger brother. As stated above I work at a movie theater, so I took him there and we watched the new Thor movie and Justice League (which are both amazing btw)

34.How late did you stay up last night and why?

I stayed up until about 1:30 am because I was at work

35.If you could move somewhere else, would you?

Probably. I live in midwestern America right now, so the economy isn’t all that great and some people are overly conservative (If you’re a conservative idgaf, i’m talking about the ones that think I should have the gay electrocuted out of me, or the ones that think cutting school funding is a legit smart idea)(Because it’s fucking not but that’s a whole other story I’m not going to get into)

36.Who was the last person you took a picture of?

Me, because I’m amazing (And was trying out a new lipstick)

37.Can you live a day without TV?

I already do that lmao

38.When was the last time you were extremely disappointed?

A couple of weeks ago. My biological father didn’t call or text for almost two months, and didn’t go to my younger brother’s big football tournament down in Dallas. When he did finally text me, the conversation was four messages long and there was no apology or explanation. He acted like it was able to be swept under the rug so yeah, I’m kind of disappointed. I thought he would finally stop doing that

39.Three names you go by..

My birth name, JoAnn, and then there’s Joan and Joananana (and only one person is allowed to call me that)

40.Are you currently in a relationship?

With a person, no, but with my new OCs, god I wish

41.What is your all-time favorite romance movie?

Captain America: The Winter Soldier, and no, I don’t mean Steggy/Steve x Sharon

42.Do you believe that everyone has a soul-mate?

No. I mean, there are people who don’t like romantic/sexual stuff so no. Unless you mean in a platonic way, because sure, everybody has that best friend soul mate. 

43.What’s your current problem?

Everything

44.Have you ever had your heart broken?

Yeah, a few times. I don’t want to talk about that unless it’s through dms though, it’s too personal

45.Your thoughts of long distance relationships?

If you can make it work than good on you, but I personally do not care for them

46.How many kids do you want to have?

Three. That way they can entertain themselves and I can have more grandchildren to spoil 

47.Have you ever found it hard to tell someone you like them

I feel like that’s gonna be a situation that’s always going to be hard no matter how many times you do it. It’s because you’re opening yourself up and exposing your most vulnerable parts , therefore making you open to rejection. So yeah, I have, but luckily those people have shared the same feelings. At least for a little while

[babytuvok]

TWO YEARS TO THE DAY LATER and I am finally ready to share the story of when I fangirled hard enough to Edward James Olmos that he gave me a free autographed photo of him and Mary McDonnell

So this might get a tad longish, so I’ll be under a cut, but here is a brief summary: a Trump supporter pissed me off so much that despite me being high as heck on adderall, I had to go talk to EJO

In July 2015 I got my then romantic partner and his roommate to watch BSG with me so when I found out EJO was going to be at San Jose Comic Con in August, it only took a little bit of pestering to get them on board.

It was a 2-day convention and my always broke ass had to work late Friday night so we were only going to make it for half of the first day. Saturday morning rolls around and the boys are tripping out because our usual drug guy fell through. It was kind of a ritual for us to pick up some uppers anytime we went out of town, and tbh we were all heavily drug dependent back in those days SO you bet we took 2 extra hours to pop in and out of the city to pick up.

Finally dosed and got on our way, hit the usual weekend bay area traffic and arrived to the con at 3pm. We walked in and the line to meet this guy stretched wall to wall and I was immediately intimidated and tried to walk back out lmao. An announcement was made that they were ending for the day at 4, so I felt a lot less pressured to overcome my anxiety yet. Spent that hour in Star Trek collectors heaven though..

Rest of the eve/night we spent doing things GROWN ASS ADULTS shouldn’t be doing like sneaking into mini-golf and climbing trees with bottles of Jack and hot-boxing our hotel room while watching the series finale of Hannibal...

OK so Sunday. This was my day. We were having breakfast at the Red Robin in Morgan Hill with all the white families that just got done with church, the three of us doubled-down on 60 extended (okay this is a pretty big dose) and I’m starting to get anxious again (with or without the drugs it wouldn’t have mattered) like “I’m not/I can’t meet this guy, I don’t know how to approach him or even what to say blah blah blah” and the boys are getting mad at me because I talked about this for weeks (and planned what i wanted to say) and I’m being lame and I’ll be fine..

We show up to day 2, 12pm.. and literally no one is in line and now I am hella freaking the fuck out because literally it is only me that is stopping this from happening. My friend immediately walks up and shakes his hand and chats for a second and comes back and says the obvious that he is a nice dude, and I am like frozen, second hand embarrassment even though nothing bad happened. But my scared ass walks to the exact opposite corner of the building to slowly browse and psyche myself up for this.

so I got sucked in to this guy’s 90s scifi trading card collection, specifically the x-files binders lol and then he starts to make small talk and stuff, he asks what I study. OK I studied Political Science and Religious Studies, and it LITERALLY does not matter which answer I give it always starts something. but I choose the easier one and say politics.. and hooo boy

This fucker just goes off on me, saying shit like how stupid and lazy my generation is and that we don’t work hard, are entitled and have no idea how the real world works (the usual propaganda), and if we did we would be thinking about voting for Trump in the 2016 election (mind you this was VERY early on where Trump was still considered a joke even to the republicans)

Remember I am HIGH AS Shit. I am 2000% extra aware of and feeling the aggressive and hateful energy coursing through my veins from this interaction. Now Im sure he said other things I don’t remember because all I could do is focus on my breathing as to not get manipulated into whatever space this guy was trying to create but I heard a break in his rant, looked up, smiled and said “Thanks for sharing your collection with me” and dipped for the back exit to smoke 18 cigarettes.

Here is where I am letting myself get fucking pissed off, pacing and chain smoking. Neither of the boys are answering their phones. Then I realized how badass I was just then, and proud of myseelf for spiritually blocking out a nazi (again this is before they identified as such and punching them was a thing). I was like if I can handle this asshole, I can go meet Edward James Fucking Olmos no. problem.

I march back in and go straight to his table but then I took a detour to sit in a white folding chair about 20 feet away for 25 minutes first. Eventually one of his security dudes comes up to me and is like “Are you waiting for an autograph?” and I’m like “no, but I do want to talk to him for a minute if that is possible”

The guy asks for my name and we walk up to EJO together and he goes “This is Amy. She would like to talk with you.” And now I am realizing that everyone here is trying to gauge how severe my social handicap is.. but he puts out his hand to shake

“Hi, I am Ed.” I shook his hand!!

“I’m Amy. I just had the most awful interaction with a Trump supporter here so Im a little put off. He kept telling me how stupid me and my generation are and it makes me very grateful that you are a humanist and philanthropist. I’d recently watched the UN Panel and you talked about the invention of race as a tool for genocide and it means so much to me that you would use your voice and influence on that platform to address these kinds of things...”

and I trail off cuz Im about to ramble and shit and I noticed how he was just taking everything I said very seriously, like wasn’t expecting any of that at all. HE pauses and looks back up at me and says how special that panel was to him, that he’ll never do something as important again in his life. Then he asks me where I go to school and what I study, so I tell him and he is impressed with all the creds. Asks me if I am planning on going into politics.

“Not in the public sense. I want to do policy research targeting intersections of poverty, race, and education” And I swear to god his eyes snap up so fast to meet mine, like he is in admiral mode here and I am captivated. Straight in the eyes to me he goes

“We need you. All of us needs you up there doing that, fighting for that, for us. I have a feeling we are about to enter some tough times. I can tell you are special and it takes special people to make things happen”

I said thank you but I am about to burst into tears. I mean we all know this but let me reinforce it.. Ed is such an intense human and I had all 100% of this guy in my presence, overwhelmingly so, and I am mostly shook because he literally had no obligation to say anything. This guy fucking met me 5 minutes ago but he is ready to say that, and I sense he isn’t the kind of guy to just say shit. Also I AM STILL VERY HIGH lets not forget

So I change the subject because that other stuff is getting too intense for me, and I switch over to BSG lol and I ask him about Adama’s tendency to punish himself physically when he feels he has played some role in pain or negativity coming into his loved ones’ lives. He talks particularly about Adama’s alcoholism in season 4 and how he approached it as a combo of punishment and escapism (which let me tell you is..accurate). He finishes up his answer and all of a sudden I fucking blurt out for some ungodly fucking reason

“I love you and Mary, you are so cute together, I hope to meet her too”

Mortified. I am overstepping boundaries. I am dying inside and I can’t believe I got 3 thoughts out before I stopped.

He smiles and giggles and grabs this pic to sign for me for freeee and says “I hope you will too”

Amy- all of my love to you.

Like is that something he would normally sign for someone? Is that something anyone would sign to a random fan?

Anyways he gave it to me, I said thanks and I literally ran out of the convention clutching this picture to my chest and sat down against the building and started crying of the ultimate level embarrassment I could personally possibly be on. My boys find me and laugh at me and I cried the whole way home.

I still get major embarrassment even today just thinking about this interaction, no matter how well it turned out and how much of an impact EJO had on me.

Feels good to finally share my story in its entirety!! Thanks for reading

[condoraball]

ME REACTING TO NIGHT & DAY (NIGHT EDITION)!!!!!!!

since i did this with reaction thing with meet the vamps and wake up as well i thought it would only be fair if i did it again so here we go fam!!! once again i haven’t really listened to any of the teasers etc so im like going in blind i don’t know what is COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (i just gotta say it’s literally midnight here rn and like this situation could use a bottle glass of wine but i ain’t got that so we just gotta go with the flow!)

middle of the night: once again a wise thing to do just start with the ones i have already heard one million times on repeat and then just let me die after the Familiar™ ones lol anyways i rlly love motn it’s a god damn ANTHEM!

all night: honestly all night makes me feel all kinds of things like it’s such a Safe Home™ song for me it just makes me feel all good inside cuz like idk it came out when things were a bit crazy and new in my life so the song really showed me how to find myself when i needed it the most idk lmao i just love it SO MUCH and it’s the only vamps song i have heard on radio in finland so it really is a special one for me personally!!!!

hands: i thought hands would be the one really making it in Finland but i guess i was wrong cuz idk no one knows the vamps STILL!! it’s been so long!! they been out here! but y’all sleepin on them! anyway it’s not exactly my fav vamps song but it’s a fun bop!! ANYWAY let’s get to the new stuff on this album i am PUMPED

same to you: wow! wowie! WOWIE!!! honestly no wonder James is stanning this song so hard this is some GOOD STUFF!!!!! i agree with him same to you for a single!!!!!!!! (ok I haven’t heard the others yet lol) ya better know imma be on that group text (shout out to the olive squad ily my girlies!!!!) about my ex (if I had one lol)

paper hearts: ok honey this beginning is such a Classical™ slow vamps song like honey don’t try to come at me with that “ooh my good they changed so much!!” oh no honey they did not! they still be doing these guitar indie pop songs!!!! this song is so cute tho i love that they always have these cute lil songs on the albums even tho let’s be real i often skip them cuz im not a slow song kinda gal but sometimes u just in the Mood™ for these!!!

shades on: NOW THIS IS THEB KINDA MUSIC I ABSOLULTTELY FUCKIGN LOVE MAN I HAVE HEARD LIL BITS OF THIS BUT MAN I AM BOPPING SO FUCKIGN HARD!!!!!!! I GOT MY SHADES LIKE IM ROCKING BARBADOS ALL NIGHT AND EVERYBODY THINKS IM HIGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hunny brad u can take ur jeans off any time i am not mad about it!! but that blue eyes booty line sooo is about connor don’t even try me bronnor is real IM VIBING SO HARD AT THIS!!!!!! YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

it’s a lie: alright alright alright okay okay oh wow ANOTHER BOP! WOWIE!! this feature is so good! probably the best feature the vamps ever has had im just saying i ain’t even heard of her before but she sounds so good she really fits this song THIS SONG HAS SUCH A GOOD VIBE LIKE IM DANCING HERE!! REALLY! VIBING!!!!!!!!

stay: remember when we all tried to figure out what the fuck brad is even saying in this song from all the live versions yeah me too lmao this goes to the cute ass lil slow songs category and I LOVE IT brad u don’t needa change for anyone

my place: yes brad we can go to your place im 100% down any day any time i am free just lmk and hmu and i’ll be there

sad song: ok yeah spoiler alert but this doesn’t sound much of a sad song lmao this has a nice vibe i love how this has like the p traditional vamps vibe but then it also has that new fresh vibe they been going to lately like this! is some good stuff!!

summary: im a tad bit disappointed connor’s song wasn’t here on spotify but besides that I think this is one good album like i definitely need to give this another listen tomorrow when it is not almost 1am but it really has all the vamps ingredients there’s some wild bops and there’s some more slow songs they really do know how to deliver an album also SHADES ON AND IT’S A LIE ARE MY FAVES

also another thing i want to say is that my reactions really have gotten lamer by the years but like… im old now im literally 20 im basically a grandma.. when the first album came out i was 17 i was still a fresh ass fangirl like i was fucking crazy now im just chillin u know!!! back then i didn’t need alcohol to be hype but now if u wanted a similar reaction from me as from meet the vamps back then u gotta give me a couple drinks first my man!!

[vcnitv-blog]

cis female, she/her.┊if you’re looking for EMMA VANITY, you’ll probably find them in the SLYTHERIN dorm with the rest of the SIXTH years. they’re the MUGGLEBORN who looks kind of like LILI REINHART. they seem ADAPTABLE & INSIGHTFUL to me, but apparently they’re also DECEITFUL & DEFERENTIAL. guess you never know.

so to start, a lil bit about myself ! i’m grey, i’m 19, i love horror movies, i’ve always wanted to write a novel but i never actually sit down and do it, and i have 4 cats but i want more. ya girl is highkey excited for this rp and i’m so glad yall joined because it’s gonna be AWESOME. you can find a lil bit more about emma underneath the cut ! ( i also play ted tonks, too, so expect an intro for him later on. )

and now about EMMA.

she was born into a muggle family – well, if you could call it a family. her mother works as a backup dancer for a lot of singers. she had emma fairly young ( like, 20/21 ) with her boyfriend at the time. their relationship was already having issues, so emma’s mother had hoped the child would help them reconcile their differences. but alas, it was the opposite, and emma’s father left his pregnant girlfriend. because of the relatively small age difference between emma and her mother, the two are very close.

emma always wanted to think she was special. her mother’s job meant they moved around a lot, and emma quickly developed a knack for adapting to new lives and fitting in with any group of people. she learned to be who she was expected to be. whenever she moved to a new school, emma would adopt a new persona. usually she said her mother was one of the singers in the band they would be touring with, but sometimes it would be that she was the bastard child of visiting royalty, or that her family was in the witness protection program and that someday she might not show up at school because she’d been murdered by the mafia. ( that one was especially fun because it always left them wondering when she inevitably did leave. ) it became a game to her – how easily could she convince them ?? she wouldn’t stay at one place long enough to make friends anyway, so if they caught her out in a lie it hardly mattered to her.

when she got her hogwarts letter, emma thought it was either her mum trying to make her birthday exciting, or some kids from her school playing a prank on her. it wasn’t until mcgonagall showed up at her door and actually explained to her that it was, in fact, very real, that emma believed it. emma was ecstatic. finally, a school she would stay at. it didn’t matter if her mother had to go all the way to romania for a tour, because emma would be at hogwarts.

even still, old habits die hard, and when emma found herself sitting in a compartment full of purebloods on the train ride to hogwarts, she lied and said her family had always been magic. she didn’t realize then what significance that would hold in the rest of her time at hogwarts. when the sorting hat was placed on her head, she was sorted into slytherin with the rest of those pureblood kids. she quickly learned what the other slytherins thought of the ‘ mudbloods ’ and soon, her lie became her life. she didn’t dare to reveal the truth about her family.

she does her best to stay out of the spotlight. she gets good grades but not as good as she could get, and she’s basically a lackey to other more popular, powerful slytherins. she doesn’t target muggleborns like her ‘friends ’ do, but she doesn’t do anything to stop them, either. better them than her, right ?

and honestly, it’s driving her a little bit mad. hiding for these many years will do that. because she isn’t naturally subservient like this, and every time she bows and scrapes to someone else she boils a little bit inside. she’s naturally more reserved, yes, but she’s also fiercely independent and competitive, with a tendency towards mischief. she’s very intuitive and perceptive, and is very good at telling how a person’s feeling. but she knows she can’t succeed as a muggleborn in her current environment, so she keeps her mouth shut and does what she has to.

quidditch is the only place she gets some relief. she’s a chaser on the slytherin team, and when she’s out there on the pitch, adrenaline pumping through her veins, she doesn’t have to hide who she truly is.

someone who doesn’t know her very well probably thinks of her as pretty quiet, a bit shallow and dim witted. maybe they aren’t totally sure why she was sorted into slytherin, but she’s a ruddy good chaser so who cares. but then again, people who don’t know her generally don’t think of her very much at all, and that’s just the way she wants it.

now that dumbledore’s started allowing muggle technology at hogwarts, emma’s terrified that the purebloods she sticks around with will somehow find out her secret. she knows it’s unlikely -- knows that anyone who might dislike muggleborns probably won’t be too keen on muggle technology. but just to be safe, she deleted all her social media accounts as soon as dumbledore made his announcement. it wasn’t a great loss -- she hadn’t used them for years anyway, seeing as she had no friends to add. 

anyway that’s about it. some plots i’m craving are: 

HBIC. the one emma follows around all the time. the one who she hides behind. basically the regina george to her gretchen wiener. like … probably female but that doesn’t really matter so if you have a male muse and this connection Calls to you, feel free to hmu ! must be pureblood. preferably slytherin.

VICTIM: emma has never targeted this person specifically, but she’s hung out with people who have and she’s watched it happen without saying anything so … yikes. probably muggleborn ? 

SOMEONE WHO SUSPECTS: wow who’s bad at coming up with connection names ? me ! basically just someone who might have started piecing together that emma isn’t all she says to be .. 

UNLIKELY FRIENDS: these two wouldn’t interact in the light of day, but maybe at parties or late nights in the library, they’ve shared a few moments together. 

BAD NEWS: this is a romantic plot, whoa. basically some pureblood guy who emma is hooking up with who fully Wouldn’t Be if he knew she was muggleborn … but she’s attracted to him anyway ok even though he is bad ! news !

IN ANOTHER LIFE: u guessed it, another romantic plot. someone who is entirely unsuitable for emma’s pureblood persona to date ( muggleborn, blood traitor, etc ), but every time she talks to them she feels a little flutter in her heart remind her that if things were different ..

ENEMIES: like even if emma’s secretly a muggleborn she still does shitty things and participates in the discrimination against muggleborns lmao. i’d love someone who doesn’t put up with her bullshit and pretty much Hates her

ofc plotting possibilities are not limited to just these ideas ! these are just specific connections i would like. if none of them appeal to you, pls let’s plot anyway ! feel free to message me or just like this post & i’ll come to u ! 

[petestarebanks]

this turned into a lot of talking i’m drunk sorry

since i love talking about myself and i’m working on finishing all the random cider/alcoholic drinks in my fridge i appeciate @chitown-sounder for tagging me in this

1) How tall are you? I’m 5′7″ and I don’t have anything else to say about that. 

2) What Color And Style Is Your Hair? My hair is medium brown which is v boring I want to dye it like daaaaaaark brown in an attempt to match my fingernails and my wardrobe which are both slowly entering the shadow realm until I can finally take my rightful place as an all powerful witch of darkness where I belong. Lately I’ve been working on growing my hair back out, right now it’s just below the middle of my back bc a year and a half ago I decided I wanted to go back to the bob I had in senior year of high school. Generally speaking my hair is an awful mess.

3) What Color Are Your Eyes? Depending on the day/weather/my mood/the color of my shirt it varies between blues and greens and greys. I wish I was constantly crying so they could be green always. 

4) Do You Wear Glasses? Yeah and tbh people always ask me why I don’t wear contacts and like why the fuck would I? When I got glasses in the 10th grade (After 3 years of staring at a computer screen bc I got obsessed with writing and never wanted to leave the house I developed near-sightedness like a fuckin dope) I was hype af they somehow made my face look less round imo like honestly my glasses make me look older and less pudgy and I fuck with that shit. I, like my dawg Cody, also am getting new glasses in like a week or so (They’ll be in on the 11th and I’m reeeeady) and I got 2 pairs, one of which is the same rectangle shape I’ve always had and the other one is more fahionable and maybe I’ll like them??? I better bc they were expensive but they were literally buy one get one free so....... Idk they’re more round shaped I can’t wait to put new accessories on my face

5) Do You Have Braces? I never did and it’s funny I always had a fucked up dental situation ok my front 4 teeth on the top were shaped like |_|_/\_||_| it wasn’t a gap or anything my teeth were just angled like that??? Apparently there was a bone in my gum where it shouldn’t have been and it was keeping my teeth from growing right and so when I was like 8 they did a removal of all 4 teeth like - ya girl was in the third grade missing my 4 front teeth??????????? Embarrassing anyway they took out the teeth and when I went back a few months later to get the bone out there was literally no bone there? There was no explanation for it it just wasn’t there and my teeth grew back in perfect. My teeth aren’t perfect by any means like I have a severe overbite and my lower row has a small gap in the front and also I had a fuckin tooth that grew in the middle of the roof of my fucking mouth????????????????????????? Teeth are so weird anyway that tooth got taken out and I’m just here living with a semi-ok mouf now

6) What Is Your Fashion Sense? Whatever I feel like wearing when I get out of bed 15 mins before I’m supposed to be at work lmao whatever takes the least effort and still looks put together enough. There’s a lot of black and particularly black leggings bc they almost pass for dress pants which works for my job. Also a lot of camisoles paired with shawl/overshirt things idk what they’re called. And jean shorts whenever I’m not at work.

7) Do You Have Any Siblings? I have 4 step sibs and 3 sisters - my sister Candace is 28 and got married last year, we always argue about politics (we are on the same side but she is a realist and I’m a romantic) but we love each other even though she makes me cry from emotions and frustration. My step brother John is 27 and he’s always been a fuckin dickhead even when we were kids and they were just my neighbors and not my step sibs - yes my father is dating a woman who used to live across the street from us in the neighborhood I grew up in - He is v strong and has strong opinions, has a lot of tattoos and is a misogynist. My sister Jackie is 26 and is a human fucking landfill who I haven’t spoken directly to in 4 months bc she got mad at me when I showed concern about her boyfriend being abusive, then he did beat her ass and when I tried to talk to her about it she fuckin blocked me on Facebook. Oh yeah and she’s pregnant with his kid and won’t stop smoking cigars. Fucking landfill. My step sis Amanda is 23, always a good time even if she’s a super thot, she has 2 babies who I love more than anything and she lets men make a fool out of her more often than not. I love her. My step brother Chris is my fave step sib mainly bc he went from being an actual juvenile delinquent, arrested and then on parole at age 15 even, to being the first of his family to graduate high school on the same day as me, with a steady job and a wife and a baby and paying his own bills I’M SO PROUD OF HIM. My step sister Tory is 19 and she doesn’t have a real name she’s just Tory, is a bigger fuckin thot than Amanda literally this bitch is in the DM’s of every dude I know and I’m not shaming her like boo do whatever u wanna do but be better at it? Be a boss ass bitch and don’t let ppl make fun of u for being a human disaster?  My younger half-sister Dalaney (Literally, named after Dale Earnhardt thanks to my trash father lmao) is 11 and she lives with her mother in Minnesota. She comes to see us every summer and she is so fucking funny, she is a tomboy and she is a sassmaster just like the rest of us I love her sfm. 

8) What Kind Of Student Are You? I was an honors sudent, took AP classes and barely skirted by (But passed the final exams while my geek fuckin classmates sobbed bc they failed lmao) I graduated with a 4.89 so like, I was litty. I never studied bc why would i read the same thing twice? I also missed a day a week from 6th grade to graduation, bc I was “sick” but really I didn’t feel like going. My mom thought I was lactose intolerant bc I faked sick so much. One time Amanda and I let my mom drive us to school only to walk home (3 miles) and get stopped by a police officer 20 feet from my front door, he wanted to know why we weren’t at school and we lied and said we missed the bus but our moms were fine with us not going to school that day. That fuckin cop offered us a ride to school so we had no choice but to go to school after all that!!!! Then in senior year when my mom left me to live with Jackie I was literally missing 2-3 weeks at a time until the AP was like “If u miss 40 days of school this semester you will be considered a drop out” and I was like “Fuck” so I finished and graduated and never went to college because fuck the education system tbq fuckin h. 

9) What Are Your Favorite Subjects? Math, History, English, Human Geography. I loved learning, that was why I never wanted to be at school, everything was fucking boring but when I had the right teachers, in these subjects in particular, I actually wanted to be there. 

10) What Are Your Favorite TV Shows? I never watched TV until like the last year, I finally got a Netflix subscription and caught up on shit people have been raving about for years but I was completely late on - Shameless, Orange Is The New Black, American Horror Story, Bates Motel, How To Get Away With Murder, in particular. Otherwise I just watch sports. Literally the only reason I pay for cable is so I can watch sports. 

11) Favorite Books? BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH Scott WESTERFELD ANRD NEAL SHUSTERMAN. LIKE OK I’LL BE A HARRY POTTER STAN ALL MY LIFE. BUT. SCOTT WESTERFELD WROTE AN INGENIOUS SERIES ABOUT SOCIETAL STANDARDS OF BEAUTY (uglies/pretties/specials/extras) AND ALSO HIS VAMPIRE SERIES WHERE VAMPIRISM WAS TRANSMitted through sex and cats (peeps, the last days) WERE THE ONLY VAMPIRE BOOKS I EVER READ LMAOOOO. then, fucking neal. fucking neal shusterman changed my entire life for the better with a series about a future where the pro-life/prochoice battle turned into parents literally having the option of just, not dealing with their unruly teens anymore by having their body parts fucking dispersed to ppl who needed like new hearts, arms, etc (unwind/unwholly/unsouled/undivided) FUCKING ICONIC and also THE SERIES NEAL WROTE ABOUT KIDS WHO DIED AND WERE STUCK IN LIMBO BC THIS EVIL BITCH WOULDN’T LET THEM GO TO HEAVEN (everlost/everwild/everfound) GOD I LOVE BOOKS SO FUCKING MUCH OK. ALSO FOR MY NON-RELIGIOUS ASS EAST OF EDEN BY JOHN STEINBECK IS FUCKIN EVERYTHING. LIFE OF PI ALSO FUCK AND TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD BOOKS ARE GREAT.

12) Favorite Pastimes? If I’m not Netflix binging or watching sports or going to the movies with my friends or drinking with the one friend I have who I can drink with, I’m writing. I have literally 25 characters now I’m fucking trash but I love them all so much ok leave me alone. 

13) Any Regrets? Nah I think I’m the smartest most reasonable person on the planet so I think everything I do is right and not questionable at all lmao. 

14) What Is Your Dream Job? Huh. Hard to say. I’m doing something I love now, and my boss has been in the business for 20 years and his business pulls in 5 mil a year so like.......... I could stand to keep doing this for a long time. Honestly I’ve never had a direction in life so now that I found an occupation that I love I think this might be my dream job. 

15) Do You Want To Get Married? No lmao marriage is a patriarchal social construct and what’s the point? To legally be able to call someone mine? I don’t like people enough to want to spend my entire life with one. 

16) Do You Want To Have Kids? I never in my life want to give birth to a child. That shit is not for me. I have 5 nieces and nephews, a pregnant sister, and another sister who plans on having at least 2 someday. I don’t need no babies. I’ll be the cool vodka aunt who encourages my trash siblings’ kids to follow their hearts and encourages them to be gay if they’re feeling gay. I have always liked the idea of waiting until I’m like 40-45 and rich, and adopting a 10-12 y/o kid bc those kids never get adopted and I’ll just be the best parent to them. 

17) How Many Countries Have You Visited? I’ve never left the United States lmao. Fuck me right???????????????/

I have finished 3 bottles of beer/beer-like substance while writing this and the Rangers just fuckin lost go figure. I want @gingeronastick and @chrisarchers to do this and also whoever else feels like it ok ily babes

[reaperseal-archive]

Just current mundane life rambles lol

During the past week I’ve felt really exhausted even when I’ve slept for like 12 hours and I guess it’s a mixture of GAD and depression but I was also off of my iron supplements for a few months and I guess i’m probably anemic again. 

For some reason iron just doesn’t stay in my system so I’ve been on and off supplements pretty much my entire life and no doctor has ever told me why the problem never stays fixed. So i’m on my heavy duty expensive meds again and hopefully within the next couple of weeks I feel better.

I’ve also felt anxious, not in like a horrible awful way but in a “there’s nothing to do” kind of way. Like everything is boring and I just want to lay in bed and stare at a wall. As depressing as that sounds I don’t mean it that way at all i’m not really sad or super happy i’m just kinda meh with any activity i’d normally participate in.

I also attribute the boredom to the fact that i’m unemployed and really stressed because I’ve handed out 50+ resumes since I graduated in like the first week of October. I got an interview but wasn’t hired bc the other chick they interviewed already had experience with the same company. I also worked in housekeeping for a little bit but I got less than 10 hours/week and dwindling and I really hated it so I quit. Obviously it’s been hard to get a job because the town I live in is seasonal and low end minimum wage jobs that have good hours are either already taken or only hired for in the spring/early summer.

Like before I was afraid of working as a waitress or cashier but i’d literally take anything with at least 20 hours a week. I’ve even considered getting my liquor license and applying to all the bars in town.

I could deal with an emotionally and physically exhausting horrible job that makes me miserable as long as i’m making that mad $$$$$. I’m kind of disappointed in myself for not being able to get a job for this long but I know it’s not my fault at all since I’ve been giving it so much effort. It’s a small town and people usually get jobs through connections. I even applied for some sophisticated office assistant positions, but of course I didn’t get it because someone with an administrative degree probably applied.

I know that this summer will be amazing and i’m just getting so antsy waiting to get a job and start going outside more when it’s warm.. I’ll be making money and i’ll actually be able to start moving forward in my life saving up for whatever college course I wanna take in the future, for a car, art supplies, being able to treat myself and buy my own damn shampoo instead of feeling guilty that my parents still have to 100% take care of me.

Part of me is scared that I won’t actually get a job during hiring season but that’s literally impossible because I’ll be applying EVERYWHERE for full time and part time. Bbbbut that little voice in my head will convince me of failure even over things that have like a 0.0000000000001% chance of happening.

Tomorrow I have a phone interview with mental health intake so I can get into adult therapy. Even though my life is a lot better and my mind is a lot clearer than it was a year ago, my anxiety still creeps up and I find myself making problems in my head out of nothing and i’m just. Wondering if i’m a bad person, if everyone hates me, if I suck, if i’m a gigantic failure, if my art will never get better, etc constantly. Stupid shit that I know is all wrong but I can never get my mind to shut up. There’s nothing wrong going on in my life other than my job struggles but it’s like I have to find something to obsess over, a reason to beat myself up... Ick.

I’ve set a goal that when I get into therapy i’m actually going to stay in therapy. No more “I feel better, I don’t need it anymore!” Because I always end up falling down again after I thought I had everything under control. And maybe this time if i’m recommended I should be on meds, i’ll actually give them a try instead of taking them for a few days and being convinced that i’d never need them.

Other 2017 goals include;

Draw more (More specifically draw for at least 20 mins every day)

Get my license when the snow melts (Also learn to parallel park first that’s the only thing I haven’t learned and that’s why I don’t have my license)

Learn how to take care of my skin better (Try new products, actually taKE OFF MY MAKEUP BEFORE I GO TO BED!!!!)

Read more

I want to try to eat better, not in the “Hurr hurr i’m vegan/gluten-free/vegetarian/organic” way, but having more balance and eating more meat and fruit because i’m aDDICTED TO CARBS AND VEGGIES AND JUNK. For some reason I just don’t really like meat.. i’m not a vegan or morally against eating meat, It’s literally just not my favorite taste/texture in the world.

Continue waking up early in the morning

Write in my (physical) journal more often

Continue to grow my hair out and keep it healthy

Nipple piercings (hopefully)

First tattoo (hopefully)

Push myself to socialize with more people

Quit smoking

Continue molding myself into the person I want to be

Give my boyfriend a bajillion trillion kisses and do SO MANY FUN THINGS!!!!!!!!!!!

Speaking of molding myself into the person I want to be, I’ve already changed a lot since the legitimate end of my grade 12 year (June 2016). I’m more confident, i’m a lot more mature, I ended a relationship in which the both of us brought the worst out of each other, I’ve ended many friendships that were just unhealthy, I think a lot more clearly, I have an inkling of Adult Responsibility, I no longer give the people who hurt me a voice, I’ve gotten better at forgiving myself for my mistakes, i’m in a relationship that makes me so happy I can’t explain in the English language how much he means to me. If I could reach into the sky and pluck the stars for him I would. Waking up next to him, just SEEING him after a couple days of not seeing him makes my heart blossom and have a mini fireworks show. He still gives me butterflies. I love everything about him!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m a lot more independent than I used to be, which I attribute to higher self-esteem and just kicking my anxiety to the curb. I don’t really stay up late anymore like I used to (Until like 6am lmao) and I actually really enjoy mornings now.

But yeah all in all I just don’t feel so lost anymore? Of course I still do, but in different aspects.. Before I felt like my life was dead-ending and I had nowhere to go and that i’d never finish high school or get anywhere in life, but now I see beyond that since I finished high school. Now i’m lost more in the career world, i’m scared of how much more growing up I’ve got to do for the years to come. And of course I still struggle with GAD.

If you read this entire thing i’m amazed right now lol. I think i’ll do these little journal entries to the internet more often, they can be anywhere from super short to super long though.